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[marlynnofmany]

Fools, Fauna, and Music Appreciation

“I don’t like this place,” Paint said over the wind. “I feel like the bushes are yelling at me.”

 “Are they?” I asked from my position at the other hoversled. The blueish shrubs on either side of the footpath were making a staticky kind of rustling, but I’d assumed that was just the leaves brushing together.

 “It’s fauna,” said Blip, pushing my sled.

 “Small fauna,” added Blop, pushing the other.

 “Bugs in the bushes, then,” I said. “Makes sense. As long as they’re not yelling because they’re going to jump out at us.”

 Paint scrutinized the bushes as we passed, her lizardy face intent. “I’d like to think that there would be a warning at the spaceport about that.”

 “Probably,” Blip said.

 “Probably,” Blop agreed. “Though this site is pretty new.”

 “I saw at least two roving safety patrols,” I pointed out. “I think they’d notice if there was that kind of hazard right outside.”

 “Probably.”

 “Probably.”

 Paint was still looking around. “I got the impression that they were searching for something.”

 “Well, it probably wasn’t the yelling bushes,” I said. A corner was coming up, so I steered us a little closer to the center of the path. Bugs or no bugs, I didn’t want to end up in the shrubbery. The sleds were full of expensive batteries (airbus size), and neither delays nor a coating of alien cicadas would have reflected well on us.

 “The yelling just sounds so hostile,” Paint insisted.

 “I guess,” I said. “It kind of reminds me of the crowd at a rock concert.”

 “A what concert?” asked Paint.

 At the same time, Blip asked, “Your rocks sing?”

 “No, that’s just the name for a kind of music,” I explained.

 Blip asked, “One made with rocks for percussion?”

 “No, it’s — I don’t think that translates well,” I said. “I probably used the wrong word. In my original language, we use the same word for the hard things from the ground as for the side-to-side motion.” I tried to rock back and forth while I walked.

 Paint cocked her head. “So, swaying music, not stone music?”

 “Eh, kind of? Swaying sounds too calm. This is loud and fast.”

 Blip nodded. “Like beating rocks together.”

 “Sure. Like that. Though nobody does that to my knowledge,” I said. “But it could make for an interesting background rhythm if someone wanted to try.”

 It was at that point that we rounded the corner, and discovered what the safety patrols had been looking for.

 Two honest-to-goodness bandits on horseback.

 One pointed an energy sword at us, his blue frills flapping in the wind. “Step away from the goods, and we’ll let you live.”

 The other one was silent, aiming a vibro-knife at Paint. It looked like the kind that could launch and regrow the blades a few times. Paint was already retreating, not wanting to find out how many blades were left.

 I stepped back too, but Blip and Blop weren’t eager to admit defeat. They shoved the sleds aside and stomped forward, yelling and flaring both frills and muscles. Their outfits today were the tight-fitting kind, so those muscles were easy to see. The clothes offered zero protection from blades, though. That didn’t stop them.

 “Cowards, trying to be tall! Using little food-toasters instead of fists!”

 “Weaklings! That’s no way to fight!”

 It wasn’t really working, since the bandits were simply holding their ground and shouting back. Nobody had launched any blades, though. Maybe the weapons were just for show. But that sword looked dangerous enough.

 I scrambled for ideas, moving out of stabbing range. There were no rocks on the ground for throwing, and no easily grabbed branches in the shrubs. A handful of whatever alien bugs were making the noise might have startled the bandits or their mounts, but I wasn’t about to go digging for those.

 The mounts, though. They looked uneasy. They weren’t Earth-style horses at a second glance, though the similarities were there. Brown, four legs (paws, not hooves), and long heads with eyes on the side in classic prey animal fashion. The way they were turning their heads to keep Blip and Blop in view, flinching at abrupt motions, told me that they might be the weak link in this hold-up.

 I crouched behind the hoversled, thinking furiously while Blip taunted the one with the sword. Paint was whispering urgently into her communicator. I didn’t expect those safety patrols to get here quickly enough, but it was worth a shot. In the meantime, I’d just had a brilliant idea.

 My hair had been getting pretty long, and I kept it tied back in my usual braid. I undid that now, finger-combing it loose and flowing, and tucking the hair ties into my pocket.

 Then I dashed forward to where the horses could see me, and headbanged for all I was worth.

 The alien horses reared and stumbled back, dumping their riders in what was probably a glorious sight to see. I was busy whipping my head back and forth, so I had to imagine it. When the horses thundered off down the path, I stopped.

 Yup, there were the two failed bandits, groaning in the dirt and getting their weapons kicked out of their hands none too gently. The sword guy had already dropped his, but Blip kicked him anyway. Then she picked up the hilt, made sure the energy blade was turned off, and kicked him again for good measure.

 Blop claimed the vibro-knife. “This doesn’t even launch. You absolute failfish.”

 Paint called over the sleds, “Is it safe?”

 “Sure is!” Blip told her. “These idiots are going to stay very still, right?” 

 Two pained groans were answer enough.

 “Great; the safety crew are on their way.”

 I put a fist in the air, and my other hand on my neck, which was already sore. “Woo! Go team!”

 “Nice work with the animals,” Blip told me. “I did not know your head fur could do that.”

 “Right??” Blop added. “That’s a threat display I’ve never seen before.”

 “Not a threat,” I said, fishing out a hair tie. “Music appreciation.”

 “What?”

 “From those rock concerts.”

 The Frillians exchanged looks. “Of course it is.”

 I made a ponytail, then began braiding it. “Some music is meant to be appreciated quietly, and some with vigor. See, even the bushes are cheering.”

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).