#it's a joy to be alive and be able to experience things like this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sitepathos · 10 months ago

Text

From Gold to Mold

Chapter 4: The Deal (Warning: this chapter will feature violence. Read at your own risk)

A/N: had free time this week to produce this. Next week is chock full of tests and midterms, so this’ll probably be the last chapter for some time. Enjoy! Also, I’m sorry to those who asked to be added to the tag list and weren’t. I tried to add many of you, but Tumblr wasn’t able to find your blog for whatever reason.

When you open your eyes, darkness goes on forever in all directions, the only thing you can see is yourself. Where are you and how did you get here?

“Hello,” you call out, hoping someone is nearby to hear you, not caring who hears you just as long as someone comes to you. “Is there anyone here?”

Nothing, which you expected, but you had hoped against reality that someone was here… wherever here is. The cold air surges through your body and you shiver, your teeth chattering, echoing in the void.

“What happened,” you ask yourself. “How’d I get here?”

Just then, your memory kicks in and images and words assault your mind all at once: walking through the East End, the three thugs, the dirty shack in the middle of the woods you had been dragged to, and—

“Oh my god,” you say as the final memory flashes before your eyes. “They killed me.”

That’s right, the flash of the muzzle and the sound of the gunshot still rattling in your head. And if you think hard enough, you can vaguely remember falling to the floor after the bullet entered your head.

“Wait,” you say, realizing something very important. “If they shot me, then why am I here?”

Sure, you aren’t religious (all beliefs in a just and loving god died after you lost your Momma and was forced to live in an abusive and neglectful household for thirteen years), but this dark and neverending void is a far cry from the bright and golden imagery that’s always been associated with heaven. And this sure isn’t the fire and brimstone that comes to mind when you think of hell. So, is this purgatory? Or limbo? You never could keep the two straight.

Is this your fate? To spend the rest of your afterlife alone in this abyss? Why couldn’t you just cease altogether? Was it too much to ask that you just close your eyes and never wake from your eternal slumber?

You realize you’re crying and you’re amazed that after crying so much throughout your life, you still have plenty of tears to shed, even in the afterlife. But that’s been your lot in life since you lost Momma: to be the world’s punching bag.

“Such powerful emotions,” a familiar voice says.

You look up in shock and see your Momma, looking exactly the same as the day she was taken from you.

“Momma,” you exclaim, rushing to her and embracing her, squeezing her as hard as your arms will allow, afraid that if you let go, she’ll disappear.

“This form brings out such joy, sadness, and loss in you,” she says. “Feelings from someone alive are far more vibrant than from someone deceased.”

“What,” you asks, looking up at her in confusion, but when you do, it’s not your Momma you see looking down at you, but Bruce. You let go of the man as quick as you can and put a bit of distance between the two of you.

“What did you do to my Momma, you son of a bitch,” you shout in disgust.

“This form brings out such anger, pain, and hatred in you,” Bruce says, looking you up and down as if dissecting you like a damn lab experiment. “How interesting.”

“What the hell are you talking about? How’d you get here and what did you do to Momma?”

“And it’s not just this form.” You see movement all around you and in perfect unison, the other members of the Wayne Family appear from the void. “You hold these forms in equal amounts of hatred and contempt.”

“You deem this one a failure,” Bruce says.

“This one a hypocrite,” Dick says.

“This one a brute,” Jason says.

“This one a know-it-all,” Tim says.

“This one a stranger,” Barbara says.

“This one annoying,” Stephanie says, before turning to Cassandra. “And while you’ve never heard that one speak, you deem her a freak.”

“And you deem this one a monster,” Damian says. He gestures to Bruce. “You hate this form and that one in equal measure, far surpassing the others.”

You see another figure step out of the void and when you make out the face, it’s Alfred. You feel relief surge through your body, happy to see the butler; if there’s anyone who you can depend on, it’s him.

“While this one serves the others, you hold great respect for this form,” Alfred says. “Although, you hold a not insignificant amount of resentment towards him.”

Your heart skips a little at the accusation. No, you love the man, who took the place of a father when Bruce failed to fill the void left by your Momma’s death; sure, you’ve had the occasional thought that if the man was given a choice between you and them, he’d choose them over you since he’s always helping them, but he’s always been there for you since day one!

“No,” you say, pleading with the man. “Alfred, I don’t!”

“But you do,” the butler responds. “According to you, he is the true master of your prison, but instead of using his power to make them acknowledge your existence, he allows them to continue parading through Gotham, fighting criminals.”

“You also believe all these forms belong in Arkham,” Bruce adds. “And that you wish to be the one to subject them to electroshock therapy.”

You finally realize that something’s wrong here. All of them have never been in your presence long enough for you to say how you feel about them (not that they’d care, anyway) and you’ve never told Alfred how you often daydream of locking them away in Gotham, strapping them to metal chairs, and flipping the switch to send hundreds of volts through their skulls, hoping to shock them into being decent human beings. All this has been kept in your head for well over a decade.

So, how the hell did they know all this?

“You’re not them, are you?”

“No,” Not-Bruce answers. “We only took the forms of those you see before you.”

“Then who the fuck are you,” you growl. “And where the fuck am I?”

“We have no name,” Not-Alfred says.

“We are one, and yet we are many,” Not-Damian finishes.

“It is impossible to define a being such as us,” Not-Jason chimes in.

“Alright, that doesn’t answer my question,” you mutter to yourself, but say it loud enough for them to hear. “Then answer me this: where am I? The last thing I remember was being shot by three thugs.”

“Yes, we know of your attack,” Not-Stephanie says.

“As for your question, we are appearing to you in your mind,” Not-Bruce says.

“My mind,” you exclaim. “How?”

“When you appeared to us, we reached out and established a link with you,” Not-Tim explains. “It is from there that we were able to peer into your mind and see your memories.”

“My memories,” you ask, dumbfounded.

“Yes,” Not-Damian responds. “Through your memories, we saw these forms and assumed them. We thought it would be more preferable for you to speak to us if we took the appearance of the people who have the most influence on your life.”

“If you looked through my memories, then you should know I want nothing to do with any of them,” you snap at them.

“We know now that we were in error,” Not-Bruce responds, a ghost of a smile gracing his face. “We owe you many thanks. Never before have we been put into a situation where have known the sensation of being incorrect. We will ponder this experience for years to come.”

“So, what do you really look like.”

All of them look at one another, unsure how to answer your question.

“We are not sure if you wish to see our true form,” Not-Alfred responds.

“While you are the first sentient being we’ve interacted with in our entire existence, we know that our true form is something many of your kind would consider… terrifying,” Not-Stephanie adds.

“I don’t care,” you snap. “I’m not talking to any of you while you look like this and I sure as hell don’t want you taking Momma’s form! And if we’re going to talk, we’re gonna do it face to face!”

“Very well,” Not-Bruce acquiesces.

And with that, everything fades to black and for a moment, you’re scared you’ll be left here in the dark by yourself again. Maybe you should’ve let them stay like that.

Just then, above you, you see an odd red glow. You look up and you feel your blood freeze, your heart stop, and the air catches in your lungs. Above you is a giant mass of red, bioluminescent flesh hanging from a cave ceiling, thick black tendrils extruding from it and digging deep into the surrounding rock, allowing it to remain suspended in the cavern. And if that didn’t freak you out enough, you can see the flesh obviously resembles the shape of a fetus in the fetal position. This thing looks like something out of an H.P. Lovecraft novel.

“Holy shit,” is all you can say.

“We told you you would not approve of our true form,” it says, its voice beaming directly into your mind.

“What are you,” you ask, still awestruck at the sight before you.

“We are have no name,” it responds. “But, with the knowledge we have accumulated over the centuries, we suppose you can call us the Megamycete.”

“Megamycete?”

“Yes, we are a supercolony of sentient fungus that has existed for over four-hundred years.”

“Four-hundred years? That’s as long as Gotham’s been around.”

“We have existed as the city above. When its founders first arrived, we were nothing more than a collection of small, independent and unaware colonies of mold. Not long after the first buildings were built, an earthquake shook the area and revealed something we now know as a ‘Lazarus Pit,’ a pool of green, luminescent liquid that possesses remarkable restorative properties, and the colonies that would become us were plunged into it.”

“And this pit made you the way that you are?”

“The pit made us aware, but it did not give us our intelligence. With our enhanced capabilities, we were able to spread out our roots beyond the mountain. Not long after, we discovered the corpses of the first of Gotham’s citizens, buried after they drew their last breath; when our roots came into contact with their bodies, we found we had the ability to archive the knowledge, memories, and even DNA of the deceased. We became obsessed with growing our archive, so as Gotham grew over the years, so did our roots; overtime, we archived hundreds of its deceased, increasing our intelligence and knowledge of the outside world. Now, our roots touch every part of this city, becoming one with it, not only archiving the remains of its living, but seeing and hearing everything that goes on within its boundaries.”

“So,” you say, your mouth becoming dry at your newfound knowledge. “You’re like some fungal god?”

“While we know many of your kind may consider a being such as us god, we hold no illusion of being a divine entity. We think of ourselves as an immortal observer.”

As you attempt to process this information, your mind brings something to your attention and you feel your heart stop when you realize it. You really don’t want to know the answer, but there’s that damn stubborn part of you that has… no, it needs to know.

“So,” you begin, trying to summon the courage to ask your question. “Earlier, you said all of this is going on in my head, right?”

“Yes, our roots were able to establish a link with you and allow us to convene with you in your mind.”

“So, if we’re in my head right now, where’s me? I mean, my body?”

Although the Megamycete doesn’t have eyes, nor does it turn anything that resembles a head, you can feel it shift its awareness to the side, as if looking at something. You feel yourself break into a cold sweat as you slowly turn your head to the left, wondering what exactly you’re going to find.

And when you do, your greeted by a sight that makes you feel as if the world around you had crumbled away and you’ve been left behind to float in the void left behind: you, lying in a mess of tendrils composed of mold, broken, battered, and bloody; your limbs lying in directions they’re definitely not supposed to be in, your eyes glazed over, and a gaping bullet hole in your left temple.

“Oh my god,” you shout, utterly horrified at the sight before you. “Oh my god!”

“We saw the torture those three criminals subjected you to. Their leader was quite thorough in inflicting damage.”

“So that’s it, huh?” While this is all just some projection in your head, you feel like you’re hyperventilating. “This is how it ends: being eaten by some sentient mushroom and becoming a part of it? Doomed to spend the rest of eternity tethered to this damn city? I survive in a place where you’re likely to be killed by some trigger-happy murder clown and his psycho-ass whore while getting your mail and some two-bit thug is what does me in?”

“If you look closer, you will find that you are still alive.”

You practically snap your head to look back at your body and sure enough, you can see your chest moving up and down. It may not be much, but it’s there.

“I’m alive,” you ask, shocked at the sight of you breathing.

“You still live,” it answers back. “Your life force is low, but still there.”

“But how? He shot me in the head and then threw me down here! People don’t live after something like that!”

“While a gunshot to the head is normally fatal, our archive shows us two revelations: that the bullet did not go through your brain, but graze it and that the bullet used was of a lower caliber. While the wound was grievous, you still had a chance of surviving it. As for the fall into our chamber, your body was caught onto our roots as it fell, slowing it down and allowing it to land with diminished force.”

“But I’m still going to die, right?”

“Yes,” it answers, seemingly sympathetic. “If you were in a proper hospital, you could recover, but right now, your body is slowly shutting down. By the time anyone found you, you would long be deceased.”

So, you survive attempted murder, but you’ll still die in the end.

“Fuck,” you mutter. “Wasn’t the end I had in mind.”

“What did you have in mind for your death,” the Megamycete asks.

“Shouldn’t you know what i had in mind for my death?”

“We do, but our knowledge shows us talking to the dying brings a form of comfort to them. Plus, this is the first time we have had the chance to interact with a living mortal. We wish to prolong the experience as much as possible.”

You chuckle at that. “I thought I would spend my final days back home in Goodsprings, sitting in the big recliner Momma bought for me. I use to spend Saturday mornings in it, eating cereal and watching cartoons.” You smile at the memory of the chair. “It was a damn good chair.”

“We see it, a brown cushioned seat, perfect for watching television or reading books.”

“Yeah, that’s the one. Would’ve been perfect to spend my last days in.”

“Perhaps you still can.”

You look up at the Megamycete. “What?”

“We offer you a deal: we will repair your body and give you the strength to leave this chamber and rejoin the outside world.”

“And you’ll get what?”

“You become our host.”

“What,” you balk. “Host?”

“Yes, we will entangle ourselves with your very being, becoming as one.”

“And why the hell would I agree to that,” you exclaim. “You fix my body just to take it over? No deal!”

“You misunderstand. We will not override your control over your body. We will be nothing more than a spectator in your life, seeing but being powerless to intervene. In addition to being restored to your former glory, you will gain access not only to our vast archive of knowledge, but gain abilities many of your kind would consider supernatural.”

That certainly cools your temper. “So, you fix me up and give me superpowers, but all you get in return is front row seats to my life. Sounds like I’m the only one benefitting from this deal.”

“On the contrary, we stand to gain just as much as you do. For over four-hundred years, we could see the outside world, but not join it. With each new corpse we archived, we began to desire a way to interact with the world firsthand and not by mere memories. You are our solution to this dilemma. Through you, we will know what it means to feel the sun on our face, or to taste the finest meals, or to hear a symphony.”

The Megamycete’s words shock you to your core. You guess if you were stuck in this cavern for four centuries and only knew of a world beyond it through memories, you’d do anything to experience it, too.

“Please, Y/N, we beg you to accept our deal. We promise everything we are, from our archive to our longevity, will be at your disposal. You will be stronger, smarter, and better than those who thought less of you. In comparison to you, they will be nothing more than mere ants.”

You’ve thought about showing the Waynes up for years, to be able to pay Jason back for that black eye, to make Tim feel like a complete idiot, and especially to make Damian feel inferior in every way possible.

“We can do that for you. With us at your side, you’ll attain a level of perfection they could never dream of. All we want is to be able to witness this firsthand.”

“Alright,” you relent. “If all you want is to go outside in exchange for making me better than them, you have a deal.”

“We thank you, Y/N,” it says, sounding incredibly happy. Relieved, even.

And with that, your world fades to black once again and when you open your eyes, you find that you’re back in your body, feelings of pain overwhelming your senses, making it hard to concentrate on the Megamycete pressing its tendrils into you. You watch in total awe as the giant, fetus-like mass that is the Megamycete begin to shrink and when you look down where the tendrils are embedded in your skin, you can see a black substance being injected into under your skin. The more of the substance being pumped into your body, the smaller the Megamycete gets.

That’s when you feel weird all over, like every cell in your body is transforming into something else. While not painful, per se, it’s an incredibly odd sensation.

(Your body is becoming one with our mold,) you hear the Megamycete explain in your head. (Not only will it repair the damage that was done to you, you will find that you are far more durable than any mere mortal and have the ability to change your form into any that is stored in our archive, both man or beast.)

“Wait, you’re saying I can shapeshift?”

(If that is what you wish to call our mimetic abilities, then yes, you may “shapeshift.”)

When the last of the mold was transferred to you, you find your body stitching itself up and the incredible pain you were in fading fast, like it was never there. You see a puddle of water lying nearby and when you look in it, you see that all your injuries are gone, even the scar on your left check that Damian gave you three years ago. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say it never happened at all.

And not only do you look better, you feel better! You wouldn’t say you were the healthiest person ever, but you tried to stay somewhere in between active and sedentary; sure you weren’t going to be running any marathons, but you were able to climb the many stairwells at school when the elevator took too long. Now, however, you felt like you could run and win a marathon, or climb up a mountain without climbing gear, or swim the English Channel during a hurricane! And you didn’t feel better physically, but intellectually as well! Gotham, for all it many flaws, has attracted the best artists, architects, doctors, engineers, musicians, scientists, and more; you feel your mind being rushed with the knowledge and memories of countless people throughout the ages, ranging from the city’s early days to now. Hell, you even have access to the memories and knowledge of some of Bruce’s greatest employees, giving you knowledge on much on Wayne Enterprises’ tech and projects that he’s spared no expense in keeping under wraps. Maybe you can get a pretty penny from Lex Corp in exchange for this information since everyone knows Bruce and Lex are bitter rivals and are constantly trying to one-up each other, with Bruce, unfortunately, often being the winner in their battles to develop the next technological development.

“I feel like I could run circles around Einstein,” you laugh, completely blown away with your newfound intellect. Right now, you feel like you could write a symphony that would make Beethoven feel inadequate while at the same time painting a masterpiece that would eclipse the Mona Lisa and designing a fusion reactor capable of powering the entire country. You look around the cavern, looking and not seeing a way out. “Now how do I get out of here?”

(There is a passage directly above you.) You look up to see a big hole in the chamber’s ceiling. (That is how you ended up here when those three threw you in here. Our archives have absorbed many of Gotham’s birds. Any one of them should give you the power to fly out of the chamber.)

The mention of the three thugs remind you of your stolen pen and Game Boy, which then fills you with rage. You’ve never liked thieves and the thought of your Momma’s treasured pen and your gift from your thoughtful boss in the hands of such lowlifes gives you even more of a reason to hate them. By now, they could be anywhere, maybe even outside of the city for fear of your disappearance being reported (mostly by Alfred, the only person left in Gotham who would give a damn).

(Remember our roots span all of Gotham,) the Megamycete says. (Through them, we have seen and heard all that occurs in this city. As our host, you now have access to them. All you have to do is reach out and think of who you wish to find.)

Following its advice, you reach out and feel the roots that entangle Gotham like a spider web. As soon as you do, you’re overwhelmed with sights and sounds from every corner of the city.

(Focus on the three,) it advises you. (If you concentrate on who exactly you want, the roots will do the rest.)

It takes some doing, but you manage to push aside the multitude of people that are in your mind’s eye and focus on the three kidnappers. You’re taken across the city, rushing past the many buildings and stopping at some seedy building in Coventry. Your newfound knowledge of Gotham tells you this is the My Alibi bar, a place for Gotham’s criminals to get together to eat, trade gossip, and find work.

With your destination known, you search through the Megamycete’s archives and something to get you out of here and find something that should do the job: crows. Your body manifests into a murder of crows and takes off in perfect unison, keeping in formation. It’s extremely weird to be a bunch of birds; you know that what was once your body is now numerous birds, but while you’re multiple birds, you’re still one person. You can see through all their eyes all at once and change their flight path and they actually do it like it’s nothing. In a matter of seconds, you’re on the surface, flying above the forest and looking down at the twinkling lights of Gotham’s buildings.

“You know, from above, that cesspit actually looks kinda pretty.”

(We thank you, Y/N. We never thought we would be able to experience such a sight firsthand, but here we are. Now, shall we retrieve your stolen property?)

The crows fly through the city, zipping past the buildings and as you do, you realize that you’ve just fulfilled a dream you’ve had since you were ten-years-old: to fly like a bird. When you realized that the Waynes were awful and all you wanted was to go back to Goodsprings— to take flight like a bird and leave this city and the Waynes behind. Now, you can turn into a flock of birds, or even grow a pair of wings, and fly all the way to Nevada!

Eventually, you reach the My Alibi club, which looks even worse in person than through the Megamycete’s roots. You land on a nearby building’s rooftop and see the only security for the entire building is a single bouncer. You command the birds to land near the bouncer and when they do, they come together and reform your body, but instead of revealing you, you command hardened black mold to cover your body, not wanting your face to be seen by anyone.

What’s going to happen here needs to not get back to you.

“What,” the bouncer stutters. “What the hell?”

“Leave,” is all you say.

The bouncer says nothing before he runs away.

(Are you ready,) the Megamycete asks as you near the door. (We highly doubt your three would-be murderers will take your return likely. Nor will they likely be in a hurry to return your property. You may have to resort to violence.)

“Good,” is all you say as you enter.

The noise coming from patrons’ conversations, drinking, and arguing comes to an end when you walk inside. A quick look around and you can tell this place lives up to its reputation of being for Gotham’s criminal element; everyone here looks like they’ve done time and will probably spend their last days in prison.

And in the back corner sit your targets, looking at you with their table filled with glasses and plates of food. The sight fills you with rage; they shot you in the head and threw you in a ditch and here they are, eating and drinking like they just got off work and wanted something to take the edge off. And what really pisses you off is seeing the one called Butch holding your Game Boy like it was his right!

“I’m here for them,” you say, pointing to your quarry. “The rest of you are free to go.”

“Up yours, freak,” some shithead shouts back, pulling out a revolver and fires it three times. The bullets hit the hardened mold and fall to the floor, looking like crushed tin cans rather than deadly projectiles. “What the hell?”

He goes to fire it again, but you raise your hand and a tendril emerges from it, piercing the man’s heart; he drops his gun and lets out a disgusting gurgle, blood dripping from it and pooling on the floor, before falling silent, dead.

While most of your mind is disturbed at the sight; you’ve just killed a man, his blood literally on your hands, but you can’t deny there’s a part of you that’s not saddened by your actions. After all, he did try to kill you and if he was in a place like this, chances are he was a piece of shit and Gotham’s a slightly better place for his passing.

For a moment, everyone is paralyzed at what just happened. The place is so quiet, a pin could drop and it would deafen everyone. Then, everyone breaks out of their stupor, practically all of them pulling out their guns and begin shooting at you, but just like their friend here found out, their bullets are useless against you. Numerous tendrils emerge from all over your body and rush at them; some of them empaling them, others wrap around their throats and crush them, while the rest just whip them with enough force to break them in two. One by one, they fall until it’s just you and your prey.

“Look, man,” you killer whimpers as you draw closer to him. “I don’t know what you want, but you can take what we have. Tom, hand him the bag.”

The other one throws a bag, which lands at your feet; you look down to see it’s your book bag. You pick it up and open it to find everything still inside, from your binder and notebooks to your phone and the gift box Mr. Chen gave you. You’re relieved to know that you’re not missing any of your school stuff and don’t have to go looking for anything or replace it. You are, however, missing all the money from your wallet, but a look on the table shows where it went to. But, you’re still missing the most important thing: your Momma’s pen.

“Here, take this, too.” The leader takes the Game boy from Butch and holds it out to you, which you snatch from him, reveling in the fear in his eyes as you did, and carefully place it inside.

That just leaves one last order of business. You extend two tendrils and wrap them around the leaders throat and hold him up from the floor, his legs kicking around, trying and failing to get him back on the ground; his arms pathetically wrap around the tendrils, trying to crate some room for him to breath, and his mouth is gaping like a fish out of water, trying to get any sort of air. His cohorts go to say something, but a quick glare from you shuts them up. You bring the man close to you until you can see your reflection in his eyes, which are wide and full of terror, and open your mold mask, revealing your identity to them and based off their expressions, all three men could probably crush coal into diamonds with their sphincters.

“Holy shit,” Butch whispers, his face showing his complete disbelief.

“It’s that kid,” Tom adds, his face mirroring his partner. “But, we killed him, right?”

“My pen,” you say, looking at this piece of human filth with complete contempt. “Where is it?”

You loosen your grip to allow him to speak.

“My pocket,” he says. “It’s in my pocket. All the pawn shops were closed, so I wasn’t able to sell it.”

While you’re happy that your beloved pen is not is some sleazy pawn shop’s display window, you’re utterly disgusted at the thought of this man’s audacity to think he had the right to sell your most treasured possession like its some worthless trinket. A small tendril emerges form your shoulder and searches the man’s pocket and pulls out that beautiful gold ink pen. You have it deliver it to your left hand, which is empty as your right hand is being used to hold the man in front of you, and hold onto it with a vice-like grip.

(Not even death could separate you from your Mother’s memento,) the Megamycete states. (We are impressed at your dedication to it.)

“Look, we’re sorry for what we did to you,” the man pathetically whimpers. “Really, we are.”

“Did you know this was my Momma’s pen,” you ask as if the man had not just said something. “I lost her on my sixth birthday and was forced to leave my home in Goodsprings to live here. This pen is the only thing of hers I was able to bring with me. And you had felt like you had the right to take something I treasure more than anything else in the world and pawn it off for some petty cash.”

“We didn’t know, man,” Butch responds, now realizing the depth of his mistakes. “We’re sorry.”

“We promise we won’t tell anyone about this,” Tom adds. “Just let us go and you’ll never see or hear from us ever again.”

“You’re right, we won’t see each other again, but wouldn’t you like to know who I was forced to live with?” The three of them pathetically nod in unison and you have to fight the urge to laugh. A few hours ago, these men were looking down at you, sure they could do anything they wanted, but now, here you are, far above them in the food chain. “I was forced to live with my father, Bruce Wayne.”

“But he said—“ the leader starts to say, but you cut him off.

“That bastard has ignored me since I moved in with him,” you shout, shutting him up. “I was his first biological son, but he’s completely forgotten about me!” You take a deep breath. Just the mention of him brings out the worst in you. “But it doesn’t matter. I don’t need him. Just like you don’t need your lives.”

And with that, you rip the man’s head clean off his shoulders, not even giving him the chance to realize his fate before killing him. You release the body and both it and his head crumple to the floor in a heap of lifeless meat and to further invoke fear in them, you stomp on the head while looking at them, the thing making a wet splat sound. The other two shout, but you cut them down with ease, tendrils emerging from your back and wrapping around their heads and crush them with ease, showering the floor in their blood and grey matter. Their bodies fall to the floor and flail around for a while before finally stopping.

(Well done,) the Megamycete praises. (You cut down these criminals and made Gotham safer faster than any police officer we have known. Perhaps the local police should seek out your services?)

“Not gonna happen,” you laugh as you walk out of the bar with your backpack in hand. “I have no intention of staying in this place. Once I graduate, I’m going back home.”

(Yes, Goodsprings. A small town located in Nevada. We look forward to experiencing your return to your point of origin.)

And with that, you manifest a pair of black wings on your back and take flight, flying far above the city’s skyscrapers, so hopefully you’re safe from detection. In just a few minutes, you’ve flown from Burnley Island to Bristol, something that should’ve taken almost an hour by car. Thanks to the Megamycete’s roots, you can see the Bats still out and about throughout Gotham, so you don’t have to worry about running into any of them while hurrying into your room.

You land down the street to avoid being picked up by the security cameras (Bruce’s picture is the definition of paranoid based on the amount of cameras in both the estate and in the house itself) and walk the rest of the way there. Normally, walking down the marathon-length driveway to the manor when coming home from work, but his time, you cross the distance like it’s nothing; in fact, you feel like you can do this another dozen times and still feel energized.

But, while you’re physically invigorated, you’re mentally drained and all you want to do is curl up and bed and pass out; you enter Wayne Manor and hurry to your room, never more thankful for being far from the rest of the household than you are now. While you’ve been flying under the radar of Gotham’s vigilantes for years now, you’ll afraid that even they won’t be able to ignore you when they found out about your newly gained powers. During your stay here, you’ve listened to their conversations when they thought you weren’t around and you know that while they distrust everyone (even each other based on the fact that no one seems to be allowed to have secrets), they distrust those with superpowers the most. Two years you listened in on a conversation between Bruce and Superman, who offered to help him during a time when many of Arkham’s most dangerous patients escaped all at once, and Bruce said in a tone that felt like sandpaper being dragged across your face: “Gotham’s off limits to metas. You step one foot in my city and you’ll regret it.”

Honestly, you’re confident that Bruce is only on this planet to be the biggest asshole who ever lived. He treats his first biological son like shit, he raises his “true children” to be as paranoid and pessimistic as him, and he threatens anyone who offers his sorry ass any kind of help. It seems to you that the only one who should’ve died that night in Crime Alley is Bruce.

You shove the man’s image in your head aside. Before tonight, he wasn’t important to you, but now, he’s irrelevant. You never needed him before, but now, you really don’t. With the Megamycete, you have everything you need.

Just then, your phone rings, bringing you out of your thoughts. You fish out your phone and look on the screen to see Alfred’s caller ID staring back at you.

“Hello,” you answer.

“Master Y/N, are you alright?”

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because it’s over an hour since you should’ve called me since getting off work.” You wince when you peek at your phone and see you’re overdue your nightly call with the butler. “So, I ask again: are you alright?” Based off his tone, he’s not going to accept “I’m fine” as an answer.

“Yeah, I am.” You quickly think of anything that could explain your tardiness and realize something: the best lie is an obvious truth. You just need to modify it a bit. “I just stayed behind to tell Mr. Chen goodbye. Today was the last day for the store because his daughter said Gotham was too dangerous for him to stay by himself, so she brought him to her home today.”

“Oh, Master Y/N, I’m sorry.” His tone says he’s bought it and you actually feel bad lying to the man you’ve come to see as a father figure. “I know how much you loved working there. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I will be. I’m gonna miss him.”

“Of course you will, he was a good man and you were the best employee he could ask for. Can I do anything for you? I’m halfway through with my vacation, perhaps I should—“

“No,” you cut the man off. “You don’t have to come back early, Alfred.” With everything that’s happened today, you need some time to prepare yourself before facing Alfred in person again. It would be a disaster for you to expose yourself as some form of metahuman in front of him. Plus, he deserves to have all his allotted vacation time. “I’ll be fine, really.”

“If you’re sure,” he says, obviously wanting to say more, but doesn’t press the issue. “I’ll let you go, I’m sure you’re tired and you need your rest. Please make sure you catch up on your sleep I’m sure you’ve missed this week during your spring break.”

“I will, Alfred, don’t worry. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Very good, Master Y/N. Good night, my boy.”

“Good night.”

You hang up and let out a sigh of relief, glad he bought it.

(You say you trust the butler with your life, but keep the events of tonight a secret from him. Why?)

“Because Alfred’s highly protective and would most likely steal a boat and sail back to Gotham within an hour if I told him I was kidnapped. And if he knew about you, he’d probably drag me to a hospital and have every last trace of mold surgically removed.”

(We do not wish for that to happen.)

“Me neither, bud. You know, after tonight, I think we’re gonna do great things together.”

(We agree. Now, heed the words of your butler and rest. Tonight was very eventful for you. It would not do well for our host to shirk in his bodily needs.)

You chuckle and strip down to your boxers before climbing into bed. Not long after you get comfy, you feel yourself drift off to sleep. For the first time ever, you’re actually looking forward to waking up in Gotham.

Bruce hears Jason whistle at the sight, but says nothing in favor of studying the carnage inside the My Alibi bar. Bodies are scattered everywhere around the establishment, some are relatively intact while others look like they were ripped in half.

“Looks like someone had fun here,” Jim says as he approaches him, Jason, and Damian. “What do you think?”

“Looks like someone had a score to settle,” he responds to the police commissioner. He motions to the remains of three men crowded together in a corner of the bar with their heads missing; two of the heads are near the rest of their bodies while the third has been reduced to a fine red paste. “Especially these three. Based on how they were killed, I’d guess whoever did this was after them.”

“Doesn’t look like Joker’s handiwork,” Jim adds. “No one here’s smiling and the place is devoid of murderous gag toys.”

No, this is definitely not the clown’s MO. Neither does it match the MO of anyone currently missing from Arkham. The only one he could think of that could rip apart and crush some of the victims is Bane, but that doesn’t explain why the remaining victims are impaled; plus, the giant is still locked up in Arkham’s high-security ward. So, this can only mean one thing.

“This is definitely the work of someone new,” he says, bending down to study the squashed head. “And with this being the only scene we know of, this was their first time killing.”

Whoever did this is highly dangerous and needs to be stopped and fast before even more people get hurt. Looks like he and his family are going to have their hands full for the foreseeable future.

Tag List: @space1crow @bat1212 @minkyungseokie @nosyrobin @bunbunboysworld @kitty-from-daaaa-voidddd @feral-childs-word @phoenixgurl030 @soriansick @hellcatsworld @prettyboys247 @marsmabe @paolexsstuff @c0l1fl0r @starryperson @lunaluz432 @orbitingtraveler @roseytheteacup @bundlofcigars @kore-of-the-underworld @kiarst @vanessa-boo @moxiemy @greatwhisperspaper

#male reader #yandere batfamily #batfamily #batfamily x male reader #batman #yandere barbara gordon #yandere cassandra cain #yandere bruce wayne #yandere damian wayne #yandere dick grayson #yandere batfam #yandere dc #yandere jason todd #yandere tim drake #dc x male reader #yandere stephanie brown #batfam #from gold to mold

822 notes · View notes

ghostlyferrettarot · 4 months ago

Text

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!

🫧Join my Patreon for exclusive content!🫧

🌸If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🌸

🎀Masterlist🎀 🎀Masterlist 2🎀

‧₊˚💎✩ ₊˚Pile 1: What makes you so charming is that unique ability you have to be absolutely yourself, without trying to fit in or be liked by others. No matter what happens around you; you have a way of staying centered and serene that gives peace of mind to those around you. Your energy is so genuine that it is impossible not to be drawn to it. You also have an incredible ability to be spontaneous, to go beyond the conventional and make things flow naturally. In addition, your essence is deeply natural; the k-drama "True beauty" could be meaningful, you give me lim Joo-kyung vibes <3 . You don't need to make a great effort to show who you are, because your true beauty lies in being authentic. That lack of fear of being different or taking risks makes you fascinating, because you don't follow pre-established rules; rather, you create your own, and that's something people deeply admire. People enjoy being in your company because, without having to say anything, you manage to convey a sense of freedom, freshness and joy that is simply magnetic. What really makes you charming is your ability to be yourself, without pretense, without masks. People feel like they can be themselves with you, which creates an atmosphere of acceptance and comfort that is not easy to find elsewhere. You are simply like a breath of fresh air in a world that can sometimes feel too heavy.

‧₊˚💎✩ ₊˚Pile 2: First off, you give me Aurora vibes, your energy feels like a princess. It's like if you have an inner calm that is effortlessly transmitted to others. You have an incredible ability to listen and absorb, without rushing to give answers or solutions, you are "serene" is what I hear. Naturally others want to know more about you, they want to understand you, but not in a way that feels forced. You are simply that person who, without trying to impress, creates a space where others can be themselves and feel understood. You are also a mystery to many, but not in the sense of being inaccessible, but in that there is something about you that invites curiosity. You are not there to show off or impress, but people are drawn to your serene way of being. What really makes you so charming is how, without saying much, you make people feel heard and valued. You are the type of person who, with a look or a small word, can make someone see things from another angle, I feel like you light up a lot of people's life pile 2! There is something almost magical about how you make others feel like you understand, even if you don't always say it out loud.

‧₊˚💎✩ ₊˚Pile 3: Im seeing right away that people watch you and, without realizing it, feel a little more alive just by being around you. There's something about your way of being that reminds them that life is more fun when you throw yourself into the unknown, when you take risks and follow what makes you feel fulfilled. You have a unique way of being fierce. You are that person who, when you walk into a room, manages to make everyone feel a little more encouraged, even on the grayest of days. It's as if your confidence is a magnet, and without you realizing it, you inspire others to be a little more daring, to try new things, to enjoy the journey more. What's fascinating about you is how you manage to balance such vibrant energy with a calmness that surprises. Although you are able to throw yourself into new experiences with all your being, you also know when to step back and take a breath. That mix of pure energy and self-control is what makes people want to be around you. They see you as someone who has everything under control, but without being rigid, and that is very attractive. Your confidence is not arrogant; it is relaxed, as if you have a calm certainty that everything will work out, and that is something that is rarely found.

‧₊˚💎✩ ₊˚Thank you for reading and let me know if it resonated‧₊˚💎✩ ₊˚

212 notes · View notes

ablobwhowrites · 4 months ago

Text

New yandere poppy playtime idea.

(ALL OF THE CHARACTERS IN HERE ARE ALL STRICTLY PLATONIC!!)

Hear me out guys. This au I kinda wanna do is called forgotten memories. (I'm not good with names.)

What if for this au, y/n is kinda like a younger y/n like now for this is in their mid teens y/n when coming back to playtime co, y/n use to be a orphan in the playtime co playcare and was going to be new experiment of the Bigger Bodies Initiative but was actually able to kinda sneak their way out to their parents who adopted them and was one who successfully escaped from playcare and was able to find their parents and go to their new home. I do imagine Harley Sawyer being actually furious yet curious how y/n was able to do easily get to their adopted parents and get out the facility without being caught by a guard or even any employees. But after all those years, y/n only comes back because of a stupid dare by bully (might change that later) and was locked into the factory by them as the bully only wanted to scare y/n for fun but this only had y/n end up going deeper into the factory to try and find a alternative exit.

As in this au y/n was the kinda youngest in the playcare so they met everyone who had become experiments for the bigger bodies initiative as they refriended them but y/n doesn't remember this place well as they were as a kid when being adopted so they just try to go through this factory by their fuzzy memories of this place. But the toys remember them as all they see y/n as is the small kid from playcare who always was a joy to be around, the employees like them as y/n tried to always be cheerful and polite similar to Mathew in a sense (also kinda like putt putt from humongous games. That's the kinda personality I'm sorta going for?) and y/n is still kind to them even after trying to kill y/n in the first place. Harley Sawyer does think y/n is like some kind of hope for sanity for the toys due to basically y/n being their childhood friend yet still treating them with such kindness.

Doey especially is excited to y/n as well as dogday. (also this au again has the smiling critters alive cause I love them bro. And some other toys who I like and don't why as much spotlight.) y/n helps dogday basically escape death and helps other toys to the safe haven (after making them sane again and not violent anymore) but y/n is kinda sour to poppy. They believe that what she is doing is right but now y/n doesn't know If they can really trust her anymore. Plus after basically having to escape near death experiences so many times it has y/n sometimes think that poppy doesn't care about them just about her plan and to just have y/n alive is all. But y/n finds a way out that could get everyone out of the factory and after they do, y/n is able to call their parents at a pay phone found still working at the front gate entrance to have y/n's parents pick them up and the toys.

And y/n's parents let the toys stay at the house as well their child goes missing and comes back with toys who are alive and then has to be explained how these toys were kinda turn into these things so yeah. Y/n's parents decided it better just to get y/n home safely cause holy shit they panicked when y/n wasn't home for so long and being home for two days had they genuinely believe their child was actually gone but now their safe and hopefully stays that way but they'll deal with the toys getting situated later.

(I'm still doing some new home sweet home au stuff and other things come soon so watch out for that but I though if this idea and hopefully it's not to weird. But for now that's it for my yap session today. If you want more please don't be shy and request any ideas for stories or y/n's you have. Please stay safe and drink water!)

#poppy playtime x gn reader #poppy playtime horror game #poppy playtime x reader #yandere poppy playtime #poppy playtime #yandere x male reader #x male reader #yandere x reader #x gn reader #yandere x you #yandere x gn reader #yandere x darling #yandere platonic #platonic yandere #ppt x reader

157 notes · View notes

so-i-did-this-thing · 2 months ago

Note

Hey you probably get plenty of messages like this. And also this gets kind of heavy/dark so warning if you don't wanna read this rn

I usually don't expect to live beyond a 3-5 year window at any given time but seeing you vibing and being trans and alive past 30 is such a blessing.

I saw your post the other day reflecting about being a sort of father figure to a bunch of people on here. It's wonderful that you're able to be that person for people who might be missing that kind of support.

Reading that affected me because I usually break down whenever someone gives me guidance or acts like a parental figure because it's so alien but it also means so much. And your post was very sweet. I hope I'll make it to a stage in life where I can also help others out. Of course that can be done any time but there's something extra special about providing support with life experience behind it.

Keep being you and happy late birthday :)

Honestly, getting out of the 3-5 year mindset is difficult for me, as well. It isn't an easy thing to work your way out of, and it can do a real number on your sense of self-worth. (I still have big problems asking people for things I want, I think because of this - I spent too long feeling like my life was an imposition, and doomed to be a brief one, at that.)

Which is why I try to encourage trans joy. If we can't fully imagine our futures yet, maybe we can still uplift folks (and spite the bastards) in the present, and just hold onto every moment we can.

I hope both of us are around in another 5 years to look back at ourselves, a little wiser and more self-confident.

But at least we have today. ❤️

#trans stuff

92 notes · View notes

babyleostuff · 1 year ago

Text

[ 💿 ] . . . TAPE 5

어쩌다 보니 처음으로 마주하는 오늘이라서 / 사무치게 아픈 말 한마디에 내가 더 싫어도 / 신경 쓰지 말자 / 우리 목소리로, 어디서라도 부르자 / 청춘찬가

☁️ cheers to youth by seventeen [vocal unit]

being loved by kwon soonyoung means being loved like little children love life before they start to experience the hardships of it. when you are together there is such carefree, sincere joy between you - his love makes you want to keep going, even after a hard day. the way you could describe hoshi's love is carefree, simple, free, etc - but so full of love and the desire to discover everything with you, day after day. thanks to him, you try to see the world in rose tinted glasses, because how can you not - he is such a lovely, bubbly, but oh so hardworking person, and it somewhat makes you want to become an even better person for him, so you could give the love right back to him.

being loved by kwon soonyoung means you will never feel alone again. is it necessary to mention that hoshi loves physical touch? and let’s multiply his clinginess by at least ten when it comes to you - so in this sense, you will definitely not be alone. but this also extends to your struggles and whatever hardships you’re battling with. even if he’s not able to come up with any solution to your problem or answer to your question - soonyoung doesn't want you to ever feel alone with your worries, so he will always stay by your side holding your hand.

being loved by kwon soonyoung means chaos. but oh, that chaos is beautiful. it’s full of love, happiness, laughter, hugs, inside jokes, stolen kisses under a cherry blossom, and dances in the rain - things that only happen in books (or so you thought). hoshi is like a little tornado of energy and a thousand emotions that make you feel alive every single day. not a day goes by where you don’t get swarmed by him, and his never ending love that he so loudly and proudly shows. some might say it could be overwhelming, imagine being around such a hyper and “loud” person so often, but you wouldn't trade hoshi's chaos for anything else. never.

being loved by kwon soonyoung feels like running through the fields on a summer day, like a picnic in the living room because it's raining outside, like big teddy bears won at an amusement park, like his laugh and smile, like inside jokes that only you can understand.

“there are darknesses in life and there are lights; you are one of the lights, the light of all lights.” - bram stoker "dracula"

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @chillseo @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @aaasia111 @tomodachiii @veryfabday @lilmochiandsuga @asasilentreader @mrsnervous @bewoyewo @sharonxdevi @wondipity @gyuguys @raginghellfire @treehouse-mouse @waldau @wonootnoot @hellodefthings @dokyeomkyeom @sourkimchi @bbysnw @haneulparadx @zozojella @hoichi02

415 notes · View notes

irndad · 1 year ago

Note

if you’re still doing flower prompts i’d love either Rainflower or Purple Lilac with spencer <3

a/n: heyyyy im alive! writing from my trip, love you guys, don't know the wc! flower prompts

Rainflower - realizing that you/they love them/you back

It comes on all at once.

Spencer- he’s never been particularly good at knowing when he’s feeling romantic. There wasn’t any experience with it. He knows that he’s hardly anyone’s dream guy- all awkward gangly limbs, too tall and too full of information that no one wanted to hear.

He’s carved out a little corner of the world that he can be seen in, that he can be loved in- but he’s never really been under the notion that someone could want him. Spencer knows that he’s lucky to have even this- to have people that ignite the prickly and irritating parts of himself and love him despite about this. And while he might fantasize, daydream about a life where he can lace his long fingers with those of someone who sees him only in a loving gaze of joy, Spencer knows that he’s not the kind of person that gets that. He’s being rational about it- most days, he’s able to relegate this desire to be filled with fantasy.

Except- something has been up lately.

His best friend is probably the best person that he’s ever met in his life. She’s a consultant with the BAU, and it’s been nice to know her, in so many ways. She’s funny and kind in a way that never seems to have a victim. Spencer is not the kind of person that particularly values physical beauty, but she possesses it in such a large margin that it is difficult to ignore. He’s actually distracted by it sometimes, having to take extra mental attention to her words when all he is drawn to is the lovely curve of her Cupid’s bow, and the both light and heavy weight of her gaze in him. I like when you look at me, he thinks. She never makes him feel small.

When they’d met, he was reluctant to her presence in most regards. Spencer knows that when he is focused, he can be a solitary creature, and that he’s an acquired taste. But she never seemed to need time to acclimate to him. From her first day, she listened to him when he spoke, and god, she squeezed his shoulder when she walked past him.

She never had to try to like him. He was never a concession to her.

This morning, she is late to work. He tries not to time it, but he enjoys the ritual of his mornings far more when he’s with her. He makes her tea and greets her first thing, and she asks about his evening the day prior. He tells her about whatever foreign film or Russian book he read the night before, a little too earnestly. She listens with her lovely doe eyes, sipping slowly as she transitions into her day. It doesn’t feel like patience with her- it feels like she actually cares what he has to say. Their routine is a warm radio crackle of familiarity, his favorite part of his day.

But she’s late today.

When she walks in, she’s a little frazzled and so, so, adorable. She’s in a T-shirt that looks so familiar to him, and a pair of jeans that look lovely on her pretty legs. It’s a pleasure, looking at her. He wish he had more time to do it, wants to leisurely drink in the sight of her like he has all the time in the world, it never feels long enough to look.

Her hair’s frazzled and she’s just about 5 minutes late- Hotch hasn’t even come out of his office yet, but she’s clearly nervous.

“You’re okay,” he hears himself say, as she plunks down her bag on the desk, “I have your tea.”

He doesn’t expect her to look up, but she does. She looks up at him and beams, and Spencer- his heart swells. She grabs the cup, dainty pretty fingers wrapped around the curve of it, and she beams her so-sweet smile at him, and god, his knees might buckle. Has it always been this way?

He drinks in the sight of her, as she runs a hand through her hair in a worried, incredibly endearing gesture. She’s beautiful, he thinks to himself. He wonders aimlessly, that she might have been meeting with a man this morning. It might be the explanation for the dishevelment.

The burning bit in his chest this causes is one that lacks explanation. It hurts in a way that he cannot explain- she is not a realistic dream for him to have. It’s not like he’s never thought about the idea of the two of them together. It’s a fleeting thought, like the consideration if your life if you could fly. It’s not a dream that warrants real consideration.

But when their fingers brush, her light touch on his hand, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like if she wanted him.

“Thank you, Spence,” she says, warm voice dripping with gratitude and something in his heart warms at the nickname, “You’re my hero.”

She takes a sip of it, and closes her eyes in a contemplative, restful moment. It’s unfairly adorable.

He’s never actually thought about it, until this moment. But her beauty transcends just being pure fact, a thing to note about his reality. It would be nice, Spencer thinks. It hits him like a tidal wave, images of her gorgeous laugh washing over him on a Sunday morning, the curve of her cheek, a world where he can hold her by the dip of her waist, where her ever-present kindness meant that she might, could, maybe, love him.

Love him back.

She has whipped cream on her finger. She took the lid of the drink off to have the whipped cream.

He is so, so fucked.

“Have I told you that I love you today, boy-genius?”

Even though she’s kidding, and he stammers out a reply of acknowledgment, it is in this moment he knows, with the certainty of every empirical journal he has ever read.

Spence Reid is hopelessly in love with his best friend, and there is absolutely nothing he can do about that.

It’s still nice to want, though.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n

528 notes · View notes

usagi-chwan · 3 months ago

Text

Feel tired all of a sudden? (BSD x Reader)

🌸 Characters present in this chapter: Kunikida, Oda, Chuuya and Yumeno (quite platonically for the latter; I gendered him male, by the way!)

🌸 Spoils: in principle, none there either. Knowing who the characters are is enough to be able to read their parts.

And here is a request from AO3 ; they asked me to imagine how certain BSD characters interact with the reader when they are asleep. Here it is!

I wish you all an excellent reading moment <3

Kunikida

- He would like to be able to keep his good resolutions about going to bed early, in order to respect his ideal number of hours of sleep...

- The problem is that, because of a certain person who does absolutely nothing all day, Kunikida finds himself obliged to encroach on his rest time, in order to finish the work of the other imbecile, who is definitely looking to be strangled alive.

- So, Kunikida comes to bed late, leaving you to fall asleep alone, much to his regret. But as soon as he goes to bed, preferably lying on his back, you systematically snuggle up to him, still sound asleep.

- This is undoubtedly the best experience of his exhausting day, and the one that lets the pressure off at once; seeing you asleep and snuggled up against his side brings a soft, affectionate smile to his face, making him momentarily forget all the worries that would certainly have prevented him from getting a wink of sleep.

- He soon falls asleep too, still lying on his back with you against him, his arm around your waist to keep you as close to him as possible.

- But who exactly would want to leave, with such an outpouring of love?

Oda

- He usually takes a little longer than you to fall asleep, so he has plenty of time to admire you resting peacefully, making him forget the events of his day too.

- He is definitely the type to hug you, often with your legs crossed, from the moment he falls asleep until he wakes up.

- While he is waiting for sleep, he sometimes asks himself pointless questions, such as whether he really has the right to hold you like that, despite all the blood on his hands... The answer is YES, of course, but I am sure you had it too.

- Since you normally wake up before he does, this time it is your turn to watch him sleep, with a relaxed, serene expression.

- The hardest part of all... Not only getting up and leaving the familiar, soothing warmth of your boyfriend... But also, and above all, getting out of his arms.

- An escape game, clearly.

Chuuya

- He is a fan of working overtime, although since you have been a couple he has done his best to keep it to a minimum.

- He sometimes comes home when you are already asleep; in this situation, he is content to lie down beside you and give you a hug.

- But, even if just being with you is a source of boundless joy for him, he prefers, on the contrary, that you be the one to hold him in your arms, on days when he comes home at convenient times from work, and you can go to bed at the same time.

- That is right; our little Chuuya loves to be cuddled by his favorite person, with whom he gladly puts his pride aside.

- He loves to bury his nose in your neck, breathing in your perfume as he pleases, and he cannot help but think that this scent reminds him of something sweet and familiar, dear to his heart: that of a home.

- And, if he can afford a little extra... If you could simply stroke his hair until he falls asleep...?

- In such cases... He simply says to himself that, if heaven exists, it certainly looks like this.

Yumeno

- Since you adopted him, things have been complicated, to say the least.

- Because of his past, living with other people was something he simply did not know; even with you, it did not happen right away. Getting used to your presence around him was somewhat difficult for Yumeno, but your patience and benevolence were crucial in getting him attached to you, and in making him understand that certain things were reprehensible in his behavior (driving people mad, for example...).

- But you cannot let go of your past so easily, and especially not completely. Sometimes, he finds himself assailed by bad memories, and this happens especially at night, when he is asleep in his bed, in his new room. And even the presence of his favorite doll, which he never lets go of, is not enough to calm his fears.

- He thinks back to your words, assuring him that he could come to you if he needed anything.

- And so he does for the first time, that night, hesitating, feeling remorse at the idea of waking you up; since you took him in, he has indeed learned to feel human feelings, so to speak, which you think is excellent news.

- He pats your arm to wake you up, then asks you in a tiny voice if he can sleep with you, just for tonight. Despite the fact that you are still half-asleep, you can easily see the fear in his eyes, and the tears threatening to escape.

- Of course, you accept, and you hold him in your arms, whispering reassuring words, lulling him gently into a deep, nightmare-free sleep. And he, for his part, can only take full advantage of this new opportunity he has been given.

- For, from now on, all he has to do is simple: be happy.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #anime #chuuya x reader #bsd headcanons #kunikida x reader #yumeno x reader #oda x reader

71 notes · View notes

k-tarotz · 1 year ago

Text

Would You Have A Chance With Your Celebrity Crush? | PAC

Pile One Pile Two Pile Three

Pile Four Pile Five Pile Six

have you ever wondered about whether or not you could pull your celebrity crush? like would you be able to do it? well I am here to tell you if you could or not! it can be an alive person.. or not. someone that lived recently… or not. it’s fully your business! please just keep in mind that this is for fun, it’s absolutely not the set in stone truth and the outcome can definitely change overnight for so many reasons. look at this as the current energy beautiful sweetheart 🫶🏻 having a crush on a celebrity is ok, it’s the unhealthy boundaries that are not, please remember that!

🫐 paid readings

disclaimer: this is a reading made for fun, if you take it seriously don’t participate in it. this includes both if you genuinely believe this is a sign or could impact your mental health in a negative way and/or if you are allergic to joy and fun. period.

Pile One

would you have a chance with your celebrity crush?

🎲 : two of swords reversed, queen of wands reversed, the empress, the emperor

YOU LIKE OLDER PEOPLE 🫵🏻 I am joking, of course, but this is definitely an age gap relationship. You could be older too, but the majority of people choosing this pile is younger! So if that’s not your thing, you can choose another pile if you wish to 🫶🏻

Although, I would like to state that for some of you this age gap is under 10, you are just self conscious about it because it’s not something that you are necessarily used to.

If you are an adult over 20 the answer is: Yes! Yes you would. Not because of your age of course, but you are literally their perfect match. Come on, you got the Empress next to the Emperor! Personally, I never get these two together from what I can remember so in my eyes this is INCREDIBLE!!! Do you know the song “can somebody match my freak, somebody with a freak technique?” that’s you two. I do not think you are freaks though lol This pile radiates a very wholesome and cute energy, some of you classy even for sure. A very beautiful energy. It’s like those couples in movies you see that just seem perfect for one another and it feels weird to see them not with each other. Like Marshall and Lily, or Gloria and Jay! It’s like people don’t expect you two work together but you do, better than some couples who look like they were made for one another. It’s very cute in my eyes for sure 💔

If you are a minor, there are two possibilities so please choose whichever fits you.

If you are significantly younger: NO. I am (not) sorry to tell you this, but your celebrity crush is not a creep. Matter of fact, I can feel their energy being disgusted at the thought of dating a minor/someone much younger than them. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely gross adults who are attracted to minors. It’s just not them. They are attracted to people their age and older than them. [If you are in your early twenties crushing on a grown adult like 40+ years they could possibly hate the idea of dating someone significantly younger due to having a relative around your age, which makes seeing you as a child.]

If you are younger only by 2-3 years: NO. At least, not yet. Say you are 16 and they are 18. Right now? Hell no. When they are 24 and you are like 22? Sure, they don’t care. It’s the mental state you two are in, and the life experiences, you know? It’s important to them. They do think a 2 year age gap is important in childhood, not necessarily in adulthood.

what causes this outcome?

🎲 : queen of pentacles, ten of coins, queen of coins, four of coins

if you got a yes - you! you cause this outcome! you are wonderful, so they just can’t help but fall for you. they are magnetically pulled to you because of how attractive and interesting they find you.

if you got a no - I think it’s pretty clear but they look at you as a child. they are the kind of person who likes to protect children from harm, not put them in danger.

channeled song: teacher’s pet - melanie martinez (I do not like her, it’s just your energy)

things that might be relevant: snow white (?), darari - treasure, ‘cutie patootie’, pink plush (a pig?), silly cat plushies / figures, japan scenery, one in a billion - enhypen (someone here likes heeseung lol), butterflies (yellow and white), religious, 00s rnb, nose sensitivity (nosebleeds, hay fever ect), midnight train to georgia (?), purity, coloured rose petals 🥴🫶🏻🧚🏻‍♂️🧚‍♀️🪽🌺☃️

Pile Two

would you have a chance with your celebrity crush?

🎲 : eight of pentacles reversed, king of wands reversed, the queen of swords reversed, the chariot side ways under the kow & qos

No, but there doesn’t seem to be a negative energy here. You are just not their kind of person. Not their romantic type, not their ‘friend type’. Rather than this being malicious, it’s disinterested. Definitely not private, but they don’t seem to be interested in a connection with you. I am sorry that sounds harsh, but there is really not much to it.

I wish I could make this as long as pile two’s, but their energy genuinely seems disinterested. As if their higher self doesn’t even care to elaborate. It’s like they have better things to focus on in life? They don’t seem too interested in romance as a whole. Rather tired and exhausted, and just want to focus on work. I am definitely not saying this is healthy though, because something here seems to impact their social life quite a lot.

Yet, they still seem very very kind, it’s like they aren’t interested in romance but if you approach them in a friendly manner they will make sure to be kind to you even if they might be a bit awkward. In a very charming way though. They will make sure you are comfortable and feel safe though.

Their energy is not malicious or mean by any chance, I think my explanation was just a bit too straightforward. They genuinely seem like such a sweetheart, with a bit of sadness surrounding them. That can definitely impact them currently, as it seems like a constant thing in regards of their mood as of now. I hope they can heal, truly. 🫶🏻

what causes this outcome?

🎲 : judgement, six of pentacles, the moon, seven of swords, ace of swords reversed, the lovers

Multiple reasons! However, you need to take only what resonates and what you think is right. One of the reasons is; that you are simply not their type. They don’t want to waste your time and get your hopes up high, that would be like playing with your feelings. Which they definitely not want to do at all.

However, that’s only halfish of the pile. The rest.. Your celebrity crush is simply not interested in romantic or sexual relations. They are aro, ace or aroace. Of course, aroace means little to no interest in romantic and sexual relationships, but theirs pull towards no. In order for this to “change” they have to like you a lot. Which is not impossible, but that’s like three people in this pile only. That’s why I didn’t feel the need to put a yes in the previous section.

channeled song: around the world - ATC

things that might be relevant: mr chu by apink, ph balance lipstick, bows in hair, white sweater, cherry pie, phone case, weird phonecases (?), gel nail art, ‘don’t you know how sweet it tastes’, edits on tiktok, puppies, upset, mascara (mot waterproof), colours brown and beige, gem stones, angel aesthetic ☪️✝️↪️📯🛍️🪭

Pile Three

would you have a chance with your celebrity crush?

🎲 : ace of cups, knight of swords reversed, two of swords side ways, nine of coins reversed, justice reversed

Yes, but only because they are sexually attracted to you, quite a lot. It’s like, they wouldn’t mind to date you but they definitely wouldn’t expect it to be a long lasting relationship.

It definitely doesn’t seem like a lovely dovey crush like feeling. Rather one where they could be very attracted to your body. If you are not the same race/ethnicity, that definitely ads to it. Though it doesn’t seem like they would be sad if you reject them, they would respect your wishes and move on, they aren’t a forceful type of person. If one night stands are not your thing they can definitely respect that.

It’s not like they are an asshole but I do assume their preferences in regards of sexual and romantic relationships highly differ from yours. It’s like you are cute, lovely and they find you lovable but more in a friendly manner in a way they adore you. The sexual attraction is just something they cannot deny.

what causes this outcome?

🎲 : the devil, the moon, ace of swords, knight of wands

I will be honest with you sweetheart, they like their youth and that they can get whoever they want. Of course, that’s not true. However in their mind they can, because they know how to use their charm to the max and don’t take failures to the heart but rather as a way to acknowledge differences. “ No hard feelings “ definitely describes them very well.

They prefer to be single and rather get rid of their sexual urges whenever they can with people that are similar minded to them… Basically, hook up culture. Not a player, definitely bit of a pervert though.

channeled song: party for the night - gray / drive - jay park ft gray

things that might be relevant: panda, teddy bear, laugh (you might like theirs), wanda vision, the colour red, sharks, blue, kcon, fan service, video calls, stickers, dyi, disappointed (as in, someone in this pile could be disappointed), acrylic paint 🧊🍿🍷🌟❄️🌈

Pile Four

would you have a chance with your celebrity crush?

🎲 : ten of cups, the lovers, judgement, the world, eight of cups reversed, knight of cups

Yes, because they are a family oriented person! They definitely want to get married to the love of their life, their soulmate. Someone who has the same goal as them and can see where their desires are coming from. They don’t see any desire in short relationships or giving their time, body, attention and love to someone that they don’t think deserves it. Someone that only likes shallow relationships or ones without a stable foundation are not for this person. They want someone incredibly committed and loyal who knows what they want. I also do believe that putting family before anything is important to them. As in, the one they create with their chosen one. Nothing is more important to them, so with that heart they wouldn’t like to be with someone that puts work before their family. I would use the word hate, but that might be too much, although at times they do feel that way.

Either way, they judge each of their romantic interests based on their standards. If they notice that their goals don’t align with one another’s they immediately lose interest. It’s the feeling of “I would rather wait lifetimes than be with someone that doesn’t truly love and value me” sort of mindset. Good for them tbh, slay

what causes this outcome?

🎲 : justice reversed, nine of coins reversed, the hierophant reversed, ten of swords

Well, I will be honest here. Some of you downright force yourselves to have the same life goals as your celebrity crush. “ If ____ asks me to I will do it willingly!!! “. The thing is though, you know that’s not the life style you want, but you would still force yourself to be happy and content with it just because you love your person too much. That’s why it would work out, because of your consistent effort. It’s not really worth it tho, don’t give yourself up for anybody, you are worth much more.

That’s only for SOME people reading it. If the shoe doesn’t fit you, don’t wear it. Majority of people who chose this pile have the exact same mindset and would make an insanely lovely couple with their chosen one! You also seem to have the same mindset, hobbies, interests and appreciation for things in life. Honestly very compatible! You could possibly have zodiac signs that are also a good pair.

channeled song: brought the heat back - enhypen

things that might be relevant: golfing, heart and stars, xoxo (hugs and kisses), the colour red, giggles, vampire fangs, little ducklings, bunnies, flowers, cafes, crystal clear water, ice, oranges, animals, birds, teardrop, lock, fan 🥛🍼🩰🎸⛸️🛩️

Pile Five

would you have a chance with your celebrity crush?

🎲 : the hermit reversed, two of cups justice, the wheel of fortune reversed, justice

No, you two are simply way too different from one another. Which I believe, you are aware of too. Surprisingly though, you are not the one that would be rejected. You would reject your celebrity crush because I do believe that if you were to know their true nature you would be turned off. So if they make their moves on you; you would just not care and walk away.

Slay, value yourself pretty sweetheart 🫶🏻

what causes this outcome?

🎲 : queen of cups, three, temperance reversed, six of cups reversed

As I have mentioned already, it’s definitely you being turned off by them, getting the ick. Their real personality could very much heavily be different from what they present themselves to be which would make you lose all interest in them for sure. Not because of the person they are, but you must definitely hate lying and people who put on a fake persona. Although, you don’t find their real personality charming as well? They could for sure enjoy flirting with people and making as many experiences as possible, which is not like you. I don’t feel heavy judgement from you, but your energy feels like ‘if I would have known the true you then I wouldn’t have wasted time/energy’ you know? It’s like you are polar opposites.. Two different ends of two different coins. They could also like alcohol more than necessary, which could be a huge no for some people in this pile due to bad experiences in the past. Which is a completely valid point! 🫶🏻

channeled song: million dollar baby - tommy richman

things that might be relevant: trillion, beauty spots, red nails (navy blue & baby blue.. some whites & glitter?), hair strokes (pda), naps, heavy metal (?), broken glass, transparent vases, rubik’s cube, franz kafka (the author), calligraphy pen 🌃☎️⏳🔭📈💥

Pile Six

would you have a chance with your celebrity crush?

🎲 : justice, eight of swords, ace of cups, the lovers

Yes, and you better believe it! Okay, wow, that sounds a bit bad, but I mean it. If you were in a situation where you two were to spend time together, you would have a chance, your romance would just be slow burn. Which, I think is perfectly alright! Although, it might make you a bit sad at first, perhaps more insecure although there is nothing you need to be insecure about. You are beautiful from inside and out!

It’s like you guys would be friends, then sexual attraction would set in and then y’all would be having romantic feelings for one another. The sort of relationship where y’all sleep together, so now you guys are automatically dating lol It’s very sweet and pure, really.

what causes this outcome?

🎲 : five of wands, two of wands reversed, the emperor, six of coins

They are simply not the sort of person to rush into any kind of relationship! Not even when having crushes, they rather would become friends with them to see the type of person they are before making moves. They would also only make moves if they can see that the feelings are mutual, so honestly they are just a rather careful person.

Your feelings would be there from the start while theirs would slowly develop, ya know? It’s like you fell first, they fell harder.

That’s for sure 1000%

Your charms got to them, not just a bit. They like how intense your emotions can get, and how cute you are. They like it because you don’t try to be cute, but rather you just naturally are cute. It’s certainly very adorable to them, it makes them more interested in you. Bit by bit they would fall for you. (Or rather walk in love, they are in no rush.)

channeled song: perfect - ed sheeran

things that might be relevant: potatoes (??), vines, 2nd gen ggs, ‘yayaya’ (x.o by enha / cake by the ocean - joe jonas), pastry, slice of life anime, tiramisu (cake~ tiramisu cake~), red ribbons / red string of fate, black choker, ‘hallelujah’ (like the song), horror movies, starry nights, camping, E, Anne with an e, attack on titan, the sun ♌️⚽️🎟️🏅🗽🏖️

💭 This was fun to make but also a bit challenging 💔 Regardless, I hope everyone enjoyed it, even if they didn’t necessarily liked their result.

– Candy 🍬

297 notes · View notes

yourlittlebunnyy · 11 months ago

Text

snow - azriel x reader

main masterlist azriel masterlist

kallias version

summary: Lover, wife, mate. Until he loses you.

warnings: death, happy but not very happy ending;)

w/c: 3.5k

a/n: this fic is fully inspired by "snow" by maxence fermine.

enjoy!

That evening, over a glass of good wine given to him by his uncle Rhysand, and with his other half, your son said, “I don't even remember what she looked like in the face.” And he laughed chasing away the negativity of the situation.

It was true. He no longer remembered your face. But you remember - no, you observe - his from the day you left. He didn't have you beside him, but you were always there, revelling in his victories and grieving over his sorrows.

That night you visited him in his sleep. He did not recognize you.

“My son.” You greeted him. You were on a flowery meadow. He reciprocated, but showed no signs of affection. You were little more than a stranger to him.

You shared blood. You had carried him for ten months. You had nurtured and changed him for two years. But to him, you were nothing.

“My father never told me anything about you.” He said it as if to justify his distance.

But you understand it, you always understand.

You were as close to your child as you were to Azriel, your beloved. You understood and accepted and respected his grief. You understood and accepted and respected being gone from the world all of a sudden. Your memory kept alive only by your mate, quietly and intimately. And you were fine with that.

“Would you like to know?” You asked him at that point. Your arms quivered for contact. Your son nodded.

And so, your story began.

“I would never have seen the light if my love for him had not been there to enlighten me. And he would never have seen it if it were not for me.” The Fae snorted a laugh, interrupting you.

“That's impossible.”

“Why do you say that?” You questioned.

“I know my father. A female would never be able to reduce him like that. He is a warrior.” Hurt, you shifted your gaze to the lush field in front of you.

“Then you don't know your father as well as you think, honey. That's all right, it's a long story. It would have bored you anyway.”

“No.” He begged, surprising you and himself. “Please, tell.”

“Our story goes back centuries. We were about your age.” You took a deep breath, and dove into the memories. “It all began magically. One winter day, while returning from the battle against Hybern, he fell in love with me. I was very different from the kind of females he was used to. At that time he was the Spy Master of the Night Court. He had participated in a very violent war that had ended in a brilliant, beautiful and unpredictable victory. So that he came back as a victor. Triumphant but wounded. A soldier had injured his best friend, your uncle, Cassian. Killed Amren. Then Rhysand. He had been wounded, too. In the wings. When he returned he still had the senses of that scene: the taste of blood and mud everywhere in his mouth, the memory of hatred painted in Hybern's face, the near-death experience. But it was the age of honor. Those were the joys of war. One had to die or return wounded to be considered victorious.

However, your father never forgot that battle. He could never forget the sight of his family one step away from defeat, from death. It was the most horrible thing he had ever experienced in his entire life. And believe me, honey, your father saw a lot of things. When he returned, he fainted on his bed. His family took him for dead and he lay on that bed for three days, still soiled with the marks of war. It was your aunt, Feyre, who found him, since she was worried about him.

He settled down, but for several days he was shaken. There was still fear in his eyes. Rhysand thanked him for his help, and Azriel was proud, but his pride still remained clouded by sorrow for what he had experienced. Finally, having recovered his energy, he came to a conclusion. He did not want to fight anymore, and not so much because of the wound that had been inflicted on him - he had suffered far worse during his life - but out of sheer disgust with war. He, who had spent his entire life killing, realized that he no longer had any desire to kill.

He therefore left the Wind House and set out on the streets of my beloved Velaris. And it was there, on his walk, that the miracle took place.

Crippled by the cold, at the end of his strength, with the horror of war still in his eyes, alone in the thick of the darkness and the tragedy he had just experienced, alone in the abyss of winter, alone with the vertigo of his loneliness, alone in his silence, where he should have died a hundred times of cold, hunger, fatigue, disappointment and exhaustion, he survived. He survived because what he saw that day, that thing, that extraordinary thing that also came from the other side of reality, no doubt to compensate the horror, that sublime and beautiful thing was the most sublime and beautiful image he had ever been allowed to see in his entire life. That image was me. And he could no longer forget me.

What he saw was me, at the time a young female, balancing on a rope. I felt as light as a bird, felt as graceful as a squirrel as I performed above the silvery river of Velaris. I was sixty feet above the ground. More than walking the wire I was floating in the air as if by magic. I was gliding faintly in the blue up there, standing on my invisible wire, the barbell in my hands. I could have been mistaken for an angel.

Your father slowly approached the river, and my beauty captivated him. He then told me that it was the first time he had seen a female from another Continent in Velaris. I seemed to fly, so, intrigued he advanced again. I was now perfectly above him. A dense crowd had gathered on the shore to witness my strange apparition. He approached an old man and, not taking his eyes off me, asked him who I was. I do not know exactly what he answered him, but from that moment he never stopped looking for me.

I was a funambulist, and my life followed only one line. Straight.

I was from Vallahan, a place far away. They called me Snow. I was nicknamed so because I had skin of glass, eyes of ice, and hair of gold. When I darted through the air I looked as light as a snowflake.

This is how I had begun. One day, while I was still a child, my path had crossed that of a traveling circus. Stunned, I had discovered the possibility of daydreaming. Heedless of the dangers, I had decided to make it my business. I had started with a tightrope stretched a few inches off the ground. Then, little by little, I had gone higher and higher in both height and mastery of my art. And so I became one of the first female funambulists. Up on the tightrope, I never came down again.

I became one for the love of balance. I, whose life unfolded like a twisty thread, excelled in the subtle and treacherous art of doing evolutions on a tightrope. I never felt as comfortable as when I walked on a wire a thousand feet above the ground. Straight ahead of me. Without ever deviating a single millimeter off course. It was my destiny. To advance step by step. From one end of life to the other.

My feats had conquered all of Velaris. By the age of twenty, I had already traveled more than a hundred kilometers on my tightrope, often risking my life. I had stretched my wire between two tall buildings in the Rainbow and balanced several hours above the city, I was like a swan made of wind, snow and silence. Then I had repeated my feats at every place in the Court of Night, each time defying the laws of balance.

I was no mere funambulist. I was proceeding through the air as if by magic. Looking at me so far up there, my body standing upright in the sky like a white flame and my golden hair caressed by the wind, I would have been told that I belonged to heaven. Because for me actually the hardest thing was not keeping myself balanced, or even mastering my fear, much less walking that endless tightrope. The hardest thing was not to turn into a snowflake.

By now I was being claimed in every corner of the Court. I even went to the Court of Nightmares. Then, almost without realizing it, I got as far as the Illyrian Steppes, where your father was ecstatic to watch me. Never before had an artist performed before the Illyrian. And Azriel looked at me and already loved me. In his eyes I was no mere funambulist. I was Snow, and I represented all the beauty of art. When I had finished my performance with the tightrope, and returned to the ground, he could not restrain the urge to approach me. He stepped forward and, in doing so, discovered the fineness of my features, the design of my mouth, the line of my eyebrows, and knew instantly that he could never forget my face. He looked into my eyes, and in turn I squared him. No words were spoken, and that was all we needed. I smiled at him, and in that he lost his soul. He knelt before me and said, “I have been looking for you, mate.”

I, on the other hand, was looking for no one. But his gesture seemed to me of such beauty that I delighted in it. And I accepted the bond. We got married, even. The first years passed happily. A happy event solidified our bond: you. You possessed my features, but your father's strength, darling. Our life was one of peace and silence. Gradually I was settling more and more into this Court. Sometimes I felt homesick for Vallahan, but I never complained about it.

What I missed most of all was my job as a funambulist. One night I dreamed of flying again. The next day, waking up, I thought about the dream again. Then I thought no more about it. The cold weather came. Then spring again. You developed in the ecstasy of light. I was happy. In one hand I held your father's heart and in the other my own, which at the same time I offered to you. And that fragile balance served to keep me balanced on the edge of happiness. But one day that balance became so fragile that it broke. One day the affection you offered me was no longer enough to make me happy. I cruelly missed the life in the air. I thirsted again for vertigo, for thrills, for conquest. I thought only of becoming a funambulist again. I asked Azriel to arrange one last performance. I wanted to stretch a rope from mountain to mountain in the heart of the Steppes.

Surely your father esteemed my desire as foolish, deeming it senseless to endanger my life and the life...of your sister.

But, like a true male, he bowed before me and consented. He had two steel ropes come from the Court of the Day. Then he sent two helpers to secure the longest cable between the two highest peaks.

I slipped the barbell out of my old case, put on my ballerina shoes, and practiced for hours in the garden, passing small mountains of flowers and a pond where yellow water lilies floated. Azriel, on the other hand, never tired of watching me. I was a funambulist without any rival.

On that thread I was happy, free and grateful. I thanked the Mother every day for giving me your father. I had blond hair. I had clear eyes. And I was walking on air.

The performance we stared at for the first few days of summer, my belly barely prominent. A crowd gathered from all over the Court to witness my feats. Lucien and Elain, who at the time had just become High Lords, also came.

When I placed my feet on the cable, the crowd rumbled. Up there, I was so high that those who only looked at me felt dizzy; I looked like a white dot in space, a snowflake in the immensity of the sky.

Armed with my barbell, for more than half an hour I performed high above the ground, slowly approaching the opposite side of the mountain. Below, they were holding their breath. One false step and it was certain death. But I, perfectly mastering my art, advanced inexorably. Step by step. Blow after blow. Silence after silence. From vertigo to vertigo. And your father watched as I danced caressed by his shadows in contrast to my white skin, silently praying for me, for his daughter. For your sister. I never stumbled.

It was the wire that broke. Definitely poorly secured, the cable came off the rock and plunged me into a thousand-foot drop. Me, the barbell and my unborn daughter.

Those who saw me disappear there, in the heart of the Steppes, took me for a bird falling from the sky. And my body was never found again.

I, Snow, became snow and sleep in its whiteness.

Your father never recovered from the loss of me, his mate. He killed the two clumsy helpers with cruelty, hatred and the thirst for revenge commanded his movements. Your uncle allowed him to do so without punishing him. But Azriel felt neither joy nor pity in the act. Killing them would not bring me back to life. He saw only one thing: his own grief. He knew only one thing: that never again would he find the woman he had loved. Never again would he see his Snow again. Never again would he see my beauty again.

Back in our house, now devoid of any joy, he threw away the Illyrian sword with which he had killed the two males. He would never kill again in his life, he promised himself. He would throw himself into pain. In the face of our daughter who died that day with me, in which my own face was reflected, he would weep every tear in his body. There was only one last gift left, one last thing that held him to the world of the living: you.

He sank so deep into his grief that he went blind. Your father accepted it, you know. It doesn't really bother him, he is no longer a warrior. He thinks the Mother no longer saw any sense in keeping his sight, if he wouldn't see me anyway.

I have always been close to him. I have always been close to you, my son. As much as my condition allows me to be.

I have never been given a final farewell. In your house my name is like a curse: it is never spoken and disaster should it be done. Therefore, I have come here, in a dream to you, for one last request. I want to be buried with your father. Come to me.” And you showed him where all that time you were hiding.

“Why didn't you say that before?”

“Because your father would not have been able to go on, seeing my face every day.”

As you spoke, you looked lost in the void, your eyes still veiled by the breath of the dream. The story had been long and paplit. Coming back to reality was difficult. Your son merely smiled and nodded at you, his own eyes wet with tears.

The next day he went to Azriel, who was relaxing by the silver river. He asked him to close his eyes and imagine the whiteness.

“I know where your Snow is.”

At these words, Azriel's face froze. Still with his dead gaze turned toward the river, he said, “Who are you to know this? No one knows where she is. The mountain swallowed her up. A long time ago.”

“That's false. The mountain digested her and returned her body. She is there, under the ice, a meter from the surface. She is there, in a glass coffin, intact and as beautiful as when you met her. In her womb she still holds the fruit of your love. I swear to you that I know where she is. She showed it to me in a dream. If you wish, I can lead you to her.”

Azriel understood that your son was telling the truth, and he could not hold back a tear. “I knew that one day we would meet again. But I did not expect that day to come so late in my life.” He turned to the younger Fae and laid a hand on his shoulder. “And to say that since she died ... since she died I've been looking everywhere for her. I've been looking for her everywhere. In every corner of this Court. In every corner of my mind. In every, single, dream. And now that I can finally see her, I will not see her.”

The next day, after the usual practice, your son asked your mate, “Have you thought about my proposal? When do you want me to take you there?”

Azriel sighed, then replied in a sad voice, “My son. This trip would be useless. I know you speak the truth, but what good would it do for an old blind man to find the grave of a dead lady? Wherever she is, my mate is at peace. May her isolation be respected for eternity.”

“No, father. She told me. Her last request was to be found. To be buried with you.” Azriel disappeared into his garden, leaving his son to be crushed by the weight of his own words.

A month passed. Your son and husband no longer spoke of you. They did not even dare to mention it. Every day, the younger Fae went to Azriel to keep him company, but in the end the two always ended up in oppressive silence. It was as if you were invisible.

But then one morning, standing on the edge of the river in Velaris, Azriel said to your son, “Tomorrow we will visit your mother.” Both of them did not answer, they just smiled.

They left at dawn. Your son guided Azriel with the sound of his footsteps. Every time he offered him a hand to help him over some steeper or treacherous passage, and your husband refused it and punctually overcame the obstacle without the need for help. He may have forgotten that he had been a warrior, but his muscles had not.

At night they slept in the villages. When, upon entering a village, Azriel uttered his name and declared where he was from, the doors opened before him as if by magic. The entire Night Court seemed to know his old reputation. Your son was astonished.

And he understood how fortunate he had been to be able to follow the teaching of such a father.

The journey was long, of unceasing whiteness. White as the cherry blossoms. White like the silence that accompanied the two wayfarers.

Finally, one morning, the first mountain peaks appeared. Their road began to climb toward the sky and its purity. They were the hardest hours. Your beloved began to show signs of fatigue, but your son pretended not to, since they were no longer very far from you. Azriel found the strength to go on only because of you. The journey was coming to an end.

When your son glimpsed the place shown to him in his dream, he trembled with excitement. “Dad!” He shouted. “I found it!” The young man rushed under a rock where, in your dream, you showed yourself lying. He had a cry of surprise.

“What is it?” Azriel asked, trepidatiously. “Has Snow disappeared forever? Has there been an avalanche?”

“No.” He said then. “Far from it. She is different from how she showed herself to me. Snow is here, but her body is closer. It is two or three centimeters from the veil of ice. I can almost touch it. It's as if she has prepared for our arrival.”

You were there. You, creature so beautiful, so naked, so blond, as fragile as in the dream. You were dead. Yet you seemed alive. You were resting under the ice. And soon you would emerge from your grave.

You were not really naked. Your funambulist's dress had been so long under the ice that the weave of the fabric had become almost transparent. And your body so delicate and your skin so diaphanous seemed even more fragile. So transparent were you that your son could glimpse your sweet pregnant womb. He threw himself on all fours and scratched at the ice with his nails. Finally you were there.

Your son grabbed Azriel's hand and placed it on your face. And you, watching the scene crouching beside the two males, could almost feel your mate's gentle caress on your skin. You breathed in that touch.

“Can you feel her face? Do you feel her skin?” Azriel's hand stroked your cheek again. He was blind. But he did not need his eyes to recognize the lines of your face. And yours was so well preserved that a simple touch with his fingertips on your lips turned blue was all he needed.

“It really is her. She is my Snow. You have never lied to me.” He fell to his knees before you and wept hot tears warming your face. He could neither see nor feel you, yet you laid a hand on his shoulder. You could not feel him under your fingers. But you were fine with that. It was okay even just that. Just seeing him.

Azriel never descended from the mountain. He lay down on the ice beside you and closed his eyes.

Your son tried to talk him out of it by saying it was madness, that it was too cold to stay there. But your mate answered him in a serene voice, “Leave me alone. I have found my place. For eternity.”

He fell asleep beside your intact body, one hand resting on your womb.

He died letting the whiteness of the world overcome him. He was happy. At the height of your heart.

#azriel x reader #acotar azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel x oc #azriel spymaster #acotar fanfic #acotar fanfiction #acotar imagine #azriel fanfiction #azriel fanfic #azriel imagine #acotar x you #acotar x reader #pro azriel

184 notes · View notes

kyoshitargaryen · 6 months ago

Text

what do you need to know about your shifting journey? ✦ pick a card reading

how pick-a-cards work — look at the images above, which correspond to the different piles, and choose the one that feels right for you using your intuition! these are very long and detailed!!

pile one �� signs include; van gogh's skull of a skeleton with burning cigarette, eagles, gryphons, valkyries, white painted nails, french tip nails, elf ears, saris, greek updos, garnets and other red gems, barn owls, the guardians of ga'hoole series or movie, goldfish, the house from courage the cowardly dog, houses on hills, pacha's house from emperor's new groove, EKGs and heart monitors, farmer's markets, bouquets, vacation, bikinis, the colour orange, thanksgiving, fall, pumpkins, or squash, angel number 666

hey, pile one! your pile is very interesting, because you got not one but two versions of The Lovers! the tarot deck I'm using came with an alternate card, and I decided to keep both in the deck.

you may be feeling very impatient, resentful, or otherwise frustrated over your shifting journey right now. I want to take a moment to validate those feelings for you. you may be feeling doubt in either yourself or shifting as a whole. the best thing for you to do is remember all of the things you believe in, that you have not or cannot physically see, experience, or feel. do you believe in a higher power? ghosts? do you believe in the validity of science despite not being able to do the experiments yourself? approach shifting in that way — it's a fact of life even if you have not personally experienced it yet.

you're likely needing to reassess your shifting approach. it's funny, I'm playing music to give you some channelled songs at the end of your reading, and as I wrote that sentence, surrender by natalie taylor began.

Whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready Can we, can we surrender?

that's how you have to reassess shifting — you need to learn how to let go, not just of expectation, but to let go of attempting and accepting the fact that you're already in your DR. you might find my post about accidentally grounding yourself to this reality by trying too hard, which you can read here.

in your past, you've experienced a great deal of pain and/or betrayal, possibly by someone you put a lot of love and trust into, or perhaps you feel betrayed by the universe itself. it's time to heal from this rather than holding onto it. I'm reminded of a time that my friend re-read her diary entries from a very traumatic time in order to re-traumatize herself and dwell on her hurt feelings — you might be prone to doing the same. rehashing the same pain, or reanalyzing the same traumatic scenario to find more things to blame yourself for or be angry about isn't how you heal and move on from an experience. instead, try identifying triggers and gain the strength to set boundaries surrounding them.

don't let the trauma from past relationships hold you back from giving or receiving love. by merit of being alive, you deserve love and compassion. you've experienced poor treatment, now make note of the things you cannot and will not accept anymore. anyone who cannot meet or accept that aren't worth your time.

the most important person to love in this world is yourself. even when you are being undervalued and unappreciated, you must find joy and love in yourself. it may seem impossible, but you can even trick yourself into loving yourself. I know because I did it.

have you ever done something ironically — said a phrase or made fun of a silly song or action with your friends, only to be horrified when it manages to become a genuine part of your personality and routine? your brain can't differentiate when you're doing something ironically versus legitimately, it's why so many actors experience emotional trauma while filming — their brain and body only know they're doing the thing, so it must be intentional.

whenever you have a negative thought about yourself or about shifting, I want you to actively combat that with a positive one. I'm so ugly turns into I'm so gorgeous, and over time your brain will realign with this way of thinking. best part? it's actually a way to manifest!

the 6 of swords to me is the reality shifting card, so when it shows up in reverse like it does in your pile, it means there's something keeping you from shifting. it's you.

remember, you cannot swim with stones in your pocket. you must release — as in, heal from — your "baggage" in order to shift. the pain and doubt you're experiencing is anchoring you to your current reality, your current state of mind. free yourself, because only you have the power to do so, even in as small of an action as asking for help.

you may be worried about getting into a situation where someone uses you or lies to you again. don't worry about that. the people that would do that to you aren't worth keeping around. whenever someone does something you can't get past, it's spirit way of saying "this person is not for you or in your best interest." let it's not u it's me by bea miller and 6lack be your new personal anthem.

two of the oracle cards you got were reframe and receive, which just confirms what I've already said. in order to receive your manifestations and your desired reality, you've got to release all that holds you back. when you do, you'll get what you desire.

focus on yourself rather than the actions of others. have you ever heard of the "let them" theory? essentially, you let people do what they want to do, you don't control them. if someone wants to fuck up, do something stupid or mean, that's their prerogative. sometimes the only way people can learn is through experiencing things themself. let them burn their hand on the stove, they'll know better than to touch it next time. and if their actions impact you negatively, set a boundary and hold up to it.

finally, determination and hard work makes things happen. it's not going to be easy to reframe your mind, to let go of the need to control others (as seen as excessively worrying about the potential actions of others), but once you do, you'll be shocked at the joy you have in life and the abundance that comes your way.

and guess what, u-rite by they started playing as I'm writing this. something tells me this was the wake-up call you needed. (seriously, listen to this song if you listen to nothing else. it's actually hilarious that it came up now.)

songs — traitor by olivia rodrigo; surrender by natalie taylor; american wedding by djocean; heal by tom odell; less and less by matt maltese; it's not u it's me by bea miller and 6lack; u-rite by they

pile two — signs include; ladybugs, basil, tarot, candle magic, india, specifically indian wedding traditions and outfits, saturn, multiple signs / synchronicities, mirror magic, mirror scrying, obsidian scrying, dandelions, dragonflies, waterlilies, tigerlily, heart pillows, pollen, stardust, stonehenge, satyrs, monarch butterflies, feeling watched, centaurs, does or fawns, brown bears, grey wolves, the fires in california, orange skies, red and blue dichotomy (your favourite ships may be separated into reds and blues or fire and water), bathing in springs, hot springs, horses and horseriding, ares, jockeys, aragog from harry potter, the chamber of secrets, death eater masks, the forbidden forest in harry potter, large spiders or spiders in general, being thirsty, rootbeer

you may be guarding yourself as a form of self-protection — you can't get hurt if you don't let anything in, right? but this is only hurting you in the long run. you cannot live if you are hiding yourself away. people and life itself may hurt you, but all will be well if you take care of yourself.

putting up excessive walls may feel like safety, but in actuality it's another form of self-harm in my opinion. how can you ever experience the good in life if you block yourself from receiving it? you might be seeing shifting as a way to experience such things like love or friendships without having to compromise your internal Jericho, but the truth is, life in DRs is just as real and complicated and messy as it is in this reality, so you'll feel tempted to build those same walls up in any reality you go to if you don't heal past the thought of needing them.

you are not powerless in this — you have the ability to free yourself. you don't need walls, you need standards.

you may be the type of person who's constantly inspired into making new DRs, or coming up with new things to do in them, having new scenarios with your comfort characters. in truth, this is doing more harm than good at this point. one of the oracle cards you got tells me that you're spending too much time thinking of living in your DR rather than actually trying to experience it. your eagerness to explore is cute and endearing, but ultimately it's making your brain and your emotional-quota turn to mush before you even get there! life is meant to surprise you, so don't ruin the experience by trying to foresee every little thing. that includes constantly checking in with tarot readings or other divination practices. it's definitely tempting — borderline addicting — to get channelled messages, letters, and readings from people in your DR, but if you're constantly focusing on getting something in THIS reality, how can you shift to another one? don't let the instant gratification of divination distract you from your ultimate goal of shifting. you can still feel that deep emotional bond to your DR, the people in it, your s/os without having to hear from them in this reality. lean into the bond to get to your DR. let your excitement to see them outweigh your excitement to hear from them.

overusing and overfocusing on divination is causing a lot of conflict in you, or you may be having conflict in general. I've already spoken about how confusing shifting to interact with your DR loved ones versus using divination to can negatively impact your journey, so let's focus more on general conflict surrounding shifting.

you may be the type of person who feels the need to heavily defend shifting from anti-shifters, or your own personal beliefs from others. you might feel especially demotivated when someone disagrees with you or feel viscerally angry when someone says something outlandish. you'd benefit from reading my post about the "let them" theory here. you've got to learn to brush off the things that don't matter. someone not believing you, or in shifting? let them. it doesn't matter because YOU know the truth. YOU've seen the light. let them miss out on all the fun. don't sweat off your back trying to convince someone who doesn't want to be helped. if you're anything like me, you might be very competitive (hello my fellow Aries placements!). instead of bringing conflict into your life by arguing, choose to channel that passion and energy into (internally) proving them wrong. you don't need to share your experiences or your success to win over someone. sometimes the best and most fulfilling moves are made in silence. pick your fights wisely.

now that we've talked about focusing on your DR, let's talk about how. you've come a long way in life and in your journey. you're likely a much better person than you were before you learned about shifting. your life may look entirely different than it did previously. take a moment to feel gratitude for all that's happened and how far you've come. even the smallest wins are still wins. minishifted? that's still a shift! appreciate what you have and more will naturally come in. if you focus on how or what you lack, you'll only be bringing that in. instead, think of all the good shifting has done for you, all the good you'll experience in your DRs, all the love you feel for the people there and all the love they feel for you. you've earned the right to be proud of yourself, now feel it.

your pile is the only one to have a tarot card come out in indecision (neither upright nor reverse). interestingly, it's the world card, or "the tribe" in my deck. you've found your people, your soul family, the people you were destined to love and be loved by. even when you feel worlds (or realities) apart, the energy created by your love and connection remains. love transcends reality and dimension. in shifting, and in the places you're going, you've found home.

you're probably the type of person who often dreams of or receives signs from your DRs. fantasy by bazzi started playing as I'm writing this. you might benefit from using dreams to shift. here are a few dream methods I like to use;

affirm that when you dream of your DR or people from it, it's because you are dreaming within that DR

make a portal with the intention that it will take you to your dr. I like to use Dr. Strange's hand movements to open the portal or to use my finger to draw it in the air

use a mirror as a portal; you can summon one or use one already in the environment

force yourself to wake up with the intention that you'll wake up in your DR

intend for there to be an object — a button that will take you to your DR when you press it, a door, a portal, a mirror, etc — behind you. I find that this method works best for those who struggle to summon things in dreams otherwise

use accio! this is by far my most-used method. I use accio to summon anything, even people from my DR. I use it to summon wands to cast magic or apparate to my DR, to summon buttons that shift me when I press them, etc

use the LIFA app on your phone — LIFA might be more of a 2020 shiftok thing than shiftblr, but the concept of it especially in dreams is fun to play with. I've personally shifted using this method; I load up the LIFA app on my phone or intend for the phone to already be open on my phone, and then select the icon corresponding to the DR I want to shift to

dig your toes into the floor of the dream like it were sand and let yourself sink below it. you'll fall into the void state and be able to shift

your dreams may also be telling you how you can shift. pay attention to reoccurring themes. for me, I often have a certain persistent physical event happening that tells me what I need to do in order to shift — for example, I uncontrollably leak water from my arms, legs, and fingertips when I need to focus on gratitude in order to shift. other times, I feel energy physically exiting me as though I were a vending machine popping out sodas. that means I need to close my eyes, stay still, and tune out the dream around me, focusing solely on my DR.

you can even "interview" your subconscious or your spirit guides by summoning them in the ways I listed above. it's a good way to check in with yourself, though I must warn you, sometimes there answers aren't clear. I've found my guides often want me to discover things on my own rather than having the answers handed to me.

you might benefit from starting a dream journal, or combing through an existing one in order to find any patterns. when you wake, take the time to distance yourself from the experience and view them objectively, as if you were an observer studying them. your dreams especially surrounding the full moon may be especially prophetic or symbolic.

dreams are another form of higher consciousness. it's a way of exploring different realities and dimensions and even time itself while your physical body recharges and heals itself. remember that you are most connected to every single version of you, as well as every reality you desire, when you dream. dreams are a way of exploring consciousness freely, perhaps even meant to hint to us about deeper forms of higher consciousness like shifting and astral projection.

have compassion for yourself and for others. balance is key — do not become so self absorbed that you forget that others have wants and feelings just as you do, but also do not forget yourself by letting others walk all over you. start thinking about how we — souls — are all connected, similar at our core. we are meant to support, not divide. we are the universe experiencing itself.

if you find that you can't summon things in dreams, take a moment before you go to sleep and intend on what you want to happen — what question do you want your dream to answer? what event do you want to happen. eventually, the desired dream will come if not immediately.

you may be drawn to opulence and luxury in your desired realities, but remember that wealth is not the key to happiness, only to a markedly easier life. but an easy life is nothing without happiness. for example, marrying for money might sound fun and bring security long term, but could you ever be truly happy with someone you're not attracted to or someone who doesn't meet your emotional or sexual standards? find joy at every level in life, don't just focus on making up for the material things you lack in this life.

believe it or not, you're actually a very lucky and prosperous person — it's just a matter of letting all of those good things in, not trapping yourself. you won't be warm without the sun.

moon song by pheobe bridgers started playing. when pheobe sings "so I will wait for the next time you want me / like a dog with a bird at your door" that's the universe and your highest self and your spirit guides waiting for you to let the gifts and happiness in. they can't come in if you've got the door locked.

songs — the hills by the weeknd; so low by spookyghostboy; ultraviolence by lana del rey; act 3: the reason by dennis lloyd; paint the town red by doja cat; runnin' down a dream by tom petty; new magic wand by tyler, the creator; band4band by central cee and lil baby; beautiful by bazzi and camilla cabello; in the party by flo milli; fantasy by bazzi; edge of seventeen by stevie nicks; season of the witch by lana del rey; moon song by phoebe bridgers

pile three — signs include; pumpkins, corn, fall, scarecrows, halloween, books, bella swan from twilight, fog, boxing, binders or sports bras, dutch braids, plants growing where they're not supposed to, weeds, moths, jungles, fairy lights, star-shaped lights, star garlands, garlands, palm trees, ferns, eggs, dyed eggs, faberge eggs, hard-boiled eggs especially in egg cups, pysanky eggs, easter, ukraine, russia, poland, grey foxes, dogs with amber eyes especially grey dogs, grey dogs, sunken treasure, titanic, goblets, treasure chests, eastern asia, mulan, wicked movie or musical, elphaba from wicked, the wicked witch of the west from the wizard of oz, the scene in harry potter and the goblet of fire where fleur is taken into the hedge maze and wrapped with vines and wood, gandalf, blue hydrangeas, disc golf, chiropractor appointments, pizza especially deep dish pizza, comfort food especially greasy comfort food, jon snow or daenerys from game of thrones and a song of ice and fire

you need to actually use the tools and opportunities given to you in order to shift. are your desired realities in your best interest? are these DRs healthy for you, or are you risking a lot of trauma? perhaps you need to script a few more safety measures.

now is the time to look at the things you want, really want, and learn why it is that you want them. don't look for things at the surface, dive deep into why you want to live these lives and why they're important to you. ask yourself, do you really want this? there's no shame in rescripting or not shifting for the plot.

the good news is, your desires are absolutely possible. you have the power to shift and manifest everything you want — just be sure you actually want them. and want them for yourself, not for the people in your DR. you don't need to be someone's emotional rock through, let's give an example, a war or toxic relationship. remember that you too have to live through the difficulties in your DR. you can be there for someone without also putting yourself at risk.

shifting should be about emotional and spiritual fulfillment, about becoming your highest self, not avenging some sort of slight or lack. material things can be exciting and rewarding, but be sure to reward your soul just as much as you do your body or environment.

don't let opportunities pass you by; you have a chance to get everything you want, so jump on it. don't worry about doing things wrong, or being perfect. I was told once that imperfect action can be the most successful one. sometimes, clumsiness is endearing. let yourself experience the beauty of life and consciousness and the process instead of being weight and rooted down by superficiality. choose yourself first, not as a physical body, but as a soul.

you're probably a very logical or methodical person. it's difficult for someone so grounded intellectually to progress upwards in a spiritual sense. some things aren't meant to be understood in the physical realm, you have to go outwards into the spiritual world as well.

how silly would it be if we only thought of health as being our physical body rather than being our mental health or environment? life isn't just about the things you can see and touch, so start exploring your beliefs outside of that in detail. you don't have to agree with everyone, you just have to believe in yourself.

learn how to experience emotions rather than analyzing them. to heal, you need to feel. have you ever tried to ignore an itch? it gets unbearable after a few seconds. your emotions and mental health are the same way. you can't just go oh, I'm itchy, you need to make an action to resolve it. so scratch that itch, let yourself feel and process your emotions. there's a reason you feel better and relieved after you cry.

judging from the music, you're probably an older shifter or were raised by older parents. our childhoods are the last of the "good days", the time without social media being so rampant, the time where you didn't need two jobs to survive, the last good (or well, better) education in America, time when you could actually socialize somewhere outside of your phone. the time we lived in wasn't a great one, but in a lot of ways it feels better than everything going on right now. nostalgia is a beautiful thing, and in a lot of ways it's healing.

maybe that's the key for you, to go back. in a song of ice and fire, Daenerys is told she must go back in order to go forward. what media did you feel so deeply connected to as a child? what worlds did you wish, pray, dream of living in? take stock of the those, and consider making DRs for them. sometimes, children are the most knowledgeable of all.

I personally often shift to places of great significance to my childhood, like my childhood home, the home my grandparents lived when I was a child, and the school I went to as a kid. you may find success in making equally significant places for you into waiting rooms, or shifting to relive your childhood in a better, safer, healthier way.

on a soul level, you are a master shifter. that's a gift you were born with, something you didn't need to work on or earn. you may shift to places that aren't where you intend to go, or you may have shifted very quickly into your journey but haven't made it where you want to go or haven't shifted since. your instincts guide you well.

you likely have many DRs or have a habit of masking or code switching based on your environment. use this great adaptive ability to shift! you have a natural gift that you can apply to shifting, and you've probably never thought of it that way. you are constantly being reborn, lean into it. make it a shifting method. allow yourself to fit into your DR, to code switch or mask as though you are already there. don't carry anything with you from your current reality, completely become and act as though you are in your DR.

you may have success shifting through dreams or by intending to wake up in your DR. let go and let yourself be reborn, just as you do in this reality depending on your environment.

you can also use your dreams to conquer any fears, worries, or doubts about shifting. for me personally, I would summon people who I was worried about in a lucid dream, just to get used to their presence. people are much less intimidating when you actually have them in front of you. use your dreams to heal through regrets, even daydream of it. daydream of the things you wish you did or said. learn what you can do better the next time around. work on standing up for yourself and develop self-confidence by doing these mental scenarios.

you are everything and have everything you could ever need. there is no need to worry or doubt about that. you should actually use that as an affirmation when you go to shift or manifest or have any self doubt at all. develop the relationship you have with yourself. reconnect with who you are at a soul level and who you are in your desired reality (or your current reality if you so choose). it might be uncomfortable at first, but man is it worthwhile.

you might feel the need to compete with other shifters — maybe they're more experienced, more popular, maybe they're shifting for the same person or the same DR as you. none of that matters, that's your ego getting in the way of feeling joy. focus on yourself and your own journey. don't let your ego or lower-vibration thoughts and feelings get in the way of loving yourself or your DRs. don't involve other people in your DRs or your spiritual journey. it's meant to be entirely about you, for you; so let it be.

focusing on yourself and your own journey is the best way to bring in balance to your soul, and ultimately to receive whatever rewards are coming your way.

songs — addicted by saving abel; lips of an angel by hinder; best on earth by russ and bia; black friday by tom odell; teenagers by my chemical romance; me and the devil by soap&skin; riot by three days grace; the phoenix by fall out boy; dream a little dream of me by the mamas & the papas; hometown glory by adele; gimme! gimme! gimme! (a man after midnight) by abba

I hope you enjoyed!!

yoshi!!

147 notes · View notes

verso-dans-la-nuit · 9 days ago

Text

Merman!Verso imagines

a very self-indulgent Merman!Verso thoughts (；∀；) + he's a pisces so i think it suits him very well

He's been alive for centuries and knows how to blend in with the people. He dyes his hair black to avoid drawing any attention.

He lives alone in a seaside cottage. His room is like a museum of things he has loved. Simple but full of memories. It got a bed, a writing desk, a wall full of prints and photos, a large chest full of antiques, and an old piano in the corner.

He always carries a journal with him, so he can write down or sketch whatever comes to mind. Thanks to random inspirations.

And a perfume too, for hiding his salty scent. It's not unpleasant, but he still wants to erase it.

At a glance, he looks like a normal human. He acts like one, too, you won't notice that he's a merman unless he tells you so. But he never mentions it to anyone.

Maybe, if you observed him very closely, you could see very faint lines of the gills on the side of his neck. But it's mostly covered by his hair. His eye colors are also unusually pale.

Originally, he was a faceless merman who could steal the face of their victim. The victim will become faceless as a consequence, losing their identity and the ability to breathe, slowly leading to death by suffocation. These species of merfolk are cursed to steal a face; otherwise, they will die of suffocation as well.

However, it took him a while to realize that the stolen faces came with their personalities, too. He changed them frequently, not being able to settle down with one.

Verso had many faces in the past, but out of all of them, his current face was the most useful and satisfying. It was the most "likable" face. However, it didn't take long for him to realize how hollow it felt.

His ability is both a curse and a gift; he can easily become who he wants to be, but never truly of himself. He can't remember what his actual personality was.

Due to his condition, he never lets people get too close to him. Maybe a short-term relationship, but nothing more than that. He left many people's hearts broken, as well as his own.

He avoids any objects that allow him to see a reflection of himself, such as a glass, a mirror, or even a surface of water. He is too afraid to look at himself, or the face he has stolen ages ago. Whenever someone compliments him for his looks, he never knows how to feel about it.

Can't he find someone else to replace his face? Sure, he can, but that'd mean sacrificing an innocent person. And he felt most loved with his current face. He hates these mixed feelings.

The only joy in his life is observing people from a distance and writing poetry about them. It's like a fairytale to him, something he can never experience, but he still wishes for it to happen someday.

He might be chronically depressed, but still puts meaning into believing something because it gives him hope. It doesn't matter if it comes true or not; he lives for that feeling. The idea of hopes and dreams. Since he can't end it for himself, he learned to find peace and comfort in the smallest things.

Still, Verso wonders what it feels like to be loved for who you are.

Let's say Verso found the love of his life because he deserves one.

Oh, to be cradled in his arms and wrapped by his long tail...he's physically affectionate. You can glue yourself to him, and he wouldn't find it bothersome.

He would look for shells and rocks that match your hair/eye color as a gift. If you're fond of a certain type of shells or whatever, he will search every corner of the ocean just to find that.

Writes poems about you. His journal is full of you, reminiscing about every moment he had spent with you. Every second is precious to him; it's never mundane. You're his world.

He loves it when you brush his hair. Kind of like falling asleep when someone plays with your hair.

He misses you the second he gets separated from you, but doesn't express it with words. He holds them back. Not because he's uncertain, but too afraid.

He wants to tell you the truth about himself, everything he has been hiding from everyone. But he's so scared that you will leave him if you learn the truth.

And the answer is: No, you won't. Never. He was expecting you to glare at him with eyes full of disgust and horror, but instead, you embraced him quietly.

#verso #verso dessendre #clair obscur verso #clair obscur: expedition 33 #expedition 33 verso #verso expedition 33 #coe33 #verso x reader #coe33 verso

40 notes · View notes

murfpersonalblog · 3 months ago

Video

youtube

Sam Reid on the Betrayal at the Heart of Season Two of ‘Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire’ - Awards Buzz

Awards Buzz: First of all, I love the show, I know you have heard that a 100-thousand times. What I'm curious about is that Interview with the Vampire deals very much with recollection and memory and unreliable narrators and all of these things. I am suddenly very nervous now that I'm actually in your presence, but--

Sam Reid: No I'm nervous that we're together chatting--I'm in your presence, let's be nervous together!

AB: As an actor, how do you sort of deal with portraying that, portraying maybe somebody else's recollection of this character--does that play into your thinking?

SR: Yeah, and we talk about it all the time. I think it's something that we all do, playing these roles: we sort of look at how the character is at a specific period of time. I mean, with Lestat specifically, yes he's often seen through the eyes of Louis, but I can't say that Louis got it all wrong. But there are definitely moments where we're going to push into the hyper-archvillain. And I think, also playing with Armand’s perspective and Armand letting him--Armand sort of seeing him a bit more as a kind of, like a romance novel cover kind of thing. And what that dynamic is. But you know, Assad does a very similar thing, where he's sort of playing multiple characters at multiple different times. And Jacob does the same thing, where you see them through different lenses at different periods of time. I think that's sort of the joy of what this show is, and what it gives us as actors is the opportunity to kind of really have very mercurial flexible roles that we can try different things, explore different things. This was quite a fun thing to keep returning back to, because you don't really ever feel set in stone. You feel like you can give a new era a go, which I suppose is the joy of playing an immortal character, I guess.

AB: Do you--I mean, I mentioned your charm; that's such a big part of the character. Do you feel like that's maybe like hard for you sometimes to have to be this sort of looming presence that sort of exudes all these different, like--the gamut of human emotion?

SR: What do you mean by hard?

AB: Like, do you feel a lot of pressure to be able to--there's so many facets in in Season 2, he's playing a person who is a vampire who's playing--?

SR: Oh sure! Yeah, of course! And it's always challenging, that's why it's so fun. It is a really challenging show, and it's sort of under the premise of it being a genre vampire show, but I guess really we use the metaphor of a vampire to be a much larger conduit to have really intense conversations about humanity. So you are playing a bunch of different levels at all times, which makes it challenging. And Rolin Jones also is like extraordinary at layering the script and layering every scene with as many different things as possible. He has a kind of obsession about making sure that an audience is never going to be bored, and he really wants you to lock in when you watch. And when you have to kind of translate that on set, sometimes you're obviously speaking multiple languages, you're usually doing some kind of a stunt with a rig of some kind, or multiple dialogues between multiple characters--one happening telepathically, and one happening in present day. There's so many things that he layers onto it. But yeah, 💖💖 I guess in terms of like keeping the overall arc of Lestat alive, it's sort of important that we remain connected to the love story at the center of it, which is Louis and Lestat. And so that you feel attached to their separation, and their experiences previously and going forward. That you as an audience member continue to invest in these characters and their push and pull. 💖💖 So that's kind of complex, because we have to play those beats sometimes in random and turnabout ways, like a ghost or a vision or-- Yeah so it's always challenging, but challenges are fun!

AB: Well, I feel like maybe if your next role is going to be quote unquote straightforward then you're going to be like: I miss all of that! I think about that all the time with actors, like how do you go on to just play some regular guy?!

SR: It’s really fun playing a supernatural, very intense vampire. It can be kind of exhausting too.

AB: And that brings me to my next question, which is, like: The physicality is so interesting, not just because he's, again, this very graceful sort of--he's obviously been alive for centuries, but like you also have the blood and all these scenes-- What is it like for you to sort of inhabit this skin of this being?

SR: I don't really-- I think the costumes do so much work for us. I think what was kind of, what is fun and and probably not really thought about too much is that we're all--we all have accents on the show, so we've all sort of developed these sort of character skins. So when we start playing the game of the show with each other, the accents come on and the physicality appears, and everyone just sort of slips into it. And we just kind of play! Really, it sounds a bit silly, but it's just a big game, so the physicality is sort of always there, because they're like the costumes that we put on. I think you do a lot of thought about it, early, in the beginning, and then now as we go on it's sort of ingrained, and sometimes you have to work very hard to pull back some of the choices that you've made, because you don't want to get stuck in a rut. Like, I say, these are mercurial characters, and they are ever-evolving, and you want to make sure that you don't get them stuck in a particular era, which is sort of like, one of the joys of the character of Armand is that he's always looking for a way into the new century, you know what I mean?

AB: So I'm sure you're already aware of this, but in doing my research to talk to you, I realized that fans are very upset at how long they've had to wait in-between seasons. 👀😅 And then I wondered what's that like for you as an actor? Do you like having--maybe because you've talked about how when you're shooting the show you have to shoot very quickly, but as you're sort of waiting, do you feel like having that time helps you prepare? Do you find it maybe difficult to kind of come in and out, and then also having a lot of time pass, and you have to come back and talk to me about it?

SR: I mean it's difficult talking about Season 2, honestly. Because we're moving into a new season, and so sometimes I have to remember what's happened, but it might feel like a very long time for audiences, but actually we're working the whole time in-between. Like, actually making it, because the difference is: when a show comes out, the show is being shot in that period of time, or written or developed or rehearsed, and then they've got to go into posts, and we spend a lot of time in posts. We spend a lot of time doing ADR, or doing sound recording or whatever it is that we have to bring into it. So it actually doesn't necessarily feel like we get a break. It feels actually like the show just keeps going continuously, and it becomes a lifestyle in a way. Because then we're also promoting it, which also does take up quite a lot of time as well.

AB: But do you feel like, I mean, I guess when you look back on Season 2, what stands out to you, and what's your overarching takeaway, like if I was writing a book about your experience on Interview with the Vampire?

SR: What's the thing that I would take away from Season 2? Um, I think one of the key elements--which hopefully does translate--is that Louis and Lestat really betrayed Claudia. Claudia is the most important person in their lives, and in my opinion the show really--because she's such an incredible figure, and to lose her like we lose her in this season should feel so devastating that it creates a world-shattering reverberation throughout the show, and throughout subsequent seasons. So hopefully, the way that Armand, Louis and Lestat have all interacted with Claudia, and the way that this character has been betrayed by all three of them at different stages--and then obviously Delainey Hayles' extraordinary portrayal of this character, who is so fundamentally tragic. 💔 Because there's this adult trapped in a child's body, which is an amazing amazing Anne Rice-ian creation, that you should feel and walk away from this season feeling totally connected to Claudia, and be yearning for her like the rest of these vampires are, for many years to come. 👏❤️

AB: well I have to be honest with you: At the end of Season 1, I kind of hated Lestat!

SR: Yeah, you should! 👈🫵😤👏

AB: He was just so monstrous at times, that I really struggled with, like: what am I supposed to feel for this character?! But I felt in Season 2 that things were maybe a little, like, softer, and there were more facets to him that I got to learn, and I felt more of a pull. 🥺👉👈 And so I wondered like, for you again playing--like, how do you maybe relate to the more monstrous things? Do you find it hard for you at times to empathize with this?

SR: I think, because we are telling this sort of onion kind of story, where you're peeling away at the artifice, and the point of view, and how Louis is framing Lestat, you're sort of meant to kind of feel like he's just--you're meant to hate him, you know? But as you peel it away, and the things he can't escape, and the memories he’s trying to erase but he can't, you start to see that there was a bit more of a different dynamic to that relationship. So yeah, I mean, I guess it was sort of--sometimes when, early in Season 1, I remember, there's a scene where, um, it's after they have a huge kind of attack basically, and just before Lestat drops him from the sky, and we had this really complicated rig where I had to pull Jacob down the alley, and um--that day was really challenging, because I just couldn't work out how to pitch it. Because it felt so felt so wrong, I was like: I just don't really know what I'm doing! 😩 Like, I couldn't work it out, so it is hard. You kind of have to find the level of not making it so extreme that we just step out of the realm of an audience being able to connect and care about it; but you also have to make it sort of arch enough to feel the stakes of the scene. And the same thing with the Trial episode. There's elements of it which you know Rolin--the way he crafts things is: he wants the audience to feel the most that they can feel about any given moment. He always goes "Well let's go to the furthest we can! Let's not give them a little kind of tickle; let's give them a smack!" And sorry I've used that analogy, but anyway! And so the Trial was challenging, because he really wanted that feeling to come you; wanted you wanted you to feel like Lestat was coming in there for vengeance, for revenge, you know? And there was--there's more than that; it's more complicated than that, there's a lot more going on. But we had to play it for the initial reaction, the initial heat, and then we could slowly slip in more layers around it afterwards.

AB: I love what you said about sort of vampire lore being our conduit to sort of explore all these deeper human emotions, and I felt like that was my experience watching the show. I thought a lot about resentments or anger--all these emotions, and how I sort of have to sit with them. And here are these people that have been around a lot longer than I have, and they're sitting with all these deep emotions. So I wonder: have you sort of wrestled with this idea of like maybe, how playing this character has influenced you, and the way you think about these sort of larger overarching themes in your own life?

SR: Um, I think I'm always informed by any character that you play, and any experience you have--whether it be your job or not. You're sort of informed by it, in general, I think. So yeah, I'm sure I'm subconsciously--somewhere, I'm learning from this experience. But more often than not, you have to bring your own experience to these things, and you have to sort of supplement it for the context that you're given in the script. So yeah, I mean you know, I think everybody hopefully--well not hopefully, but you know--it's an important experience in your life, to have your heart broken. And it's important, you know, you learn a lot from that. And it's an important experience in life, if people are lucky to have it, to actually fall in love. 💔 And that's important, so I think, to be able to play these things, you have to have lived those experiences, so that you know you can make it feel human; you can make it make sense, and you're not just living in, you know, big genre fantasy world.

AB: Sam, I have to let you go, but I do want to give you the final word, if there's anything that I haven't asked you about that you wanted to mention last, if there's anything you can tell me about Season 3, to hold on to.

SR: What was what was the first part of your question? If there's just anything else I want to tell you about Season 3, is that yes, we're very close to filming it, and we'll be filming in Toronto. Daniel Hart is working feverishly away, and I'm really excited for everybody to see the work that he has done, because it is extraordinary!

AB: Well, I wish you the best of luck, and have fun on Season 3, and hopefully we get to catch up again, but thank you so much for your time.

#Interview with the Vampire #justice for claudia #loustat #lestat de lioncourt #videos #youtube

36 notes · View notes