#it's clearly not the same test
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mom asked me to elaborate on my test scores from today so i looked up the max score online and it says it's 300. i got 976. okay then
#it's clearly not the same test#but it has the same fucking name#because the one i took is basically the same test as the one you have to pass before applying to the college#it's proof of competency (in lieu of a high school diploma iirc)#but i already took that a few years ago#this one is needed to apply to the EMT program and is practically the same#but apparently scored differently???#honestly i dont know at this point#once i get my cpr certification and get my vaccinations sorted im talking to an academic advisor. this shit stays confusing#finn says shit#collegeposting#finn wants to fight fires
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This is in response to an anonymous ask. Anon has been able to sense what we might call Oversoul or Big animals for a while, but since a significant magical awakening Anon has lost the clarity of their Sight.
Anon has advised that after trying connection techniques that used to work, this problem has not resolved.
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Anon, I disagree with your hypothesis that this may be an active choice by your spirits, either to test you or to encourage you to do something.
When I went through my 'awakening' I encountered an intense shift in the kind of work I had been able to do, and I had to re-learn old skills I was already confident in. It's happened to me more than once. It blows.
This isn't because I was being tested, but rather because my circuitry was being converted from DC to AC and the 12 volt systems weren't compatible with my hardware any more.
I believe it's normal for practitioners to lose and have to re-learn or adapt around old skills. It sucks, but it happens. It would rarely be my first assumption that these things are spirits wanting distance, or putting us through shit tests, or something.
Here are my suggestions:
Tell them you do not like the distance and it's scary. Invite them back and ask them to stay close.
Put old techniques up on the shelf and try something completely new. Like if before you were attempting grounded visualization, this time try water scrying. Or, shapeshifting during astral travel.
Ask them to send clear, direct messages about how to resume old levels of clarity and contact.
Redirect your focus away from spirit working and towards psychism: perform experiments to see if there are any other changes to your Sensing and try to troubleshoot
Engage the help of an ally known to assist with matters of Sensing and clarity, perhaps including gods, plants, or mineral spirits; or smaller spirits (especially the Dead) who can give you information to improve your Sensing and solve this problem.
Redirect focus towards matters of magical hygiene; regular cleansing, unblocking, and ward maintenance can have material effects on Sensing.
Review all ongoing sorcery and ensure no wards, spells, or any projects could be impacting the ability of spirits to easily arrive to you.
Review many recent actions and ensure you have not accidentally caused offense or accidentally did something to send the spirits away; resolve offenses, known or unknown, through general offering rituals asking to bury the hatchet and resume a positive relationship
#in mundane life “relationship tests” are widely viewed as manipulative and toxic behavior#it's not unreasonable to apply these same standards to spirits#“ghosting” a practitioner or giving them the silent treatment is not fair behavior from a spirit#especially if an emotionally supportive relationship was established beforehand.#Communication can be imperfect and sometimes the spirits can't explain to us something is happening before it starts#for example if you're undergoing a magical “rewiring” and your old systems stop working correctly#leaving you stranded until you learn new techniques for your new systems.#But if you're worried that spirits might be playing “hard to get” or giving you a relationship test#you can tell them you don't abide by that behavior and ask them to be honest with you that they need distance or what their goal is.#But also you gotta clearly communicate your own needs.#Like there is no reason to assume they know your needs unless you've told them.
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The Resistance squatted in abandoned buildings. They were squatters.
Before I show the panels that show they used abandoned buildings, I just want to be logical about this for a moment.
It doesn't make much sense to assume these guys - looking around jump-into-university age (18-26) - could afford to make underground bunkers and metal-plated halls all across Japan, for their base. They wouldn't have the time, resources, or even support from others to make these places.
Where do they find the metal to hammer in? The posts? The knowledge of actually building tunnels or buildings from scratch without them falling apart?
Other than that, having a single stationary base (above-ground, for example), is not going to survive. All For One's supporters fight anyone who opposes him without him needing to say anything.

AFO rules Japan right now. Everyone is wary of each other. Look at how Bruce describes it as "the harshest era";

As All For One's supporters attack his opposers of their own will, and supporters don't even realize they're on his side, the Resistance has to constantly be on the move. They can't really trust anyone.
They can't have stationary bases, nor can they afford ANYTHING to make them. They would've been caught immediately trying to do a big project like that, especially if they needed supplies to do so from someone who likely works for AFO, even without knowing.
Japan was in economic and social turmoil. They can't trust the market to keep going and grocery stores to be open. Look at how Japan is with All For One and Tomura; people band together and stores are looted.
Money is obsolete. Society is divided between humans and "monsters" (Ability-users). You can't trust anyone because anyone could be his pawn. Time is running up as his control spreads everyday. Resources are being looted left and right. It's too dangerous to go outside alone. Even if you have a stun gun, what does that mean against Ability-users?
So what do they do with their limited resources? Trying to hide from the big guy? What "bases" do they have?
They hunker down in abandoned places that already exist and, again, are abandoned. No one's going to come looking for them in places that people have run from and left behind. Because these places are literally just that: places no one wants anymore.
You hide a tree in a forest. You don't make a big, special base somewhere that says "I am here!", and they don't have the resources or time to burrow underground or build that.
Hide in an abandoned building among many others. There's not many people in abandoned places, if they happen to be there at all. The Resistance isn't going to be found in the deserted buildings, but they still have to keep moving, because someone might be trailing them.
When they take Yoichi from the vault,

They're in a house. The couch is ripped, the mug is cracked, and so is the wall, with a questionable stain in the background. There are signs of fighting and abandonment, but it works.
Houses have food. Houses have clothes. Houses have beds. It's enough to sit in for a bit and heat up some water.
Not everyone packed their things and run. Some people just had to RUN. And when some places are full-on abandoned from an exodus, the Resistance is definitely gonna find some stuff there in the new "safe area".
Look below at where Kudo and Bruce hole up after Yoichi's death. No one's outside, there's a destroyed car, and there's some smoke further up the road.

The hospital/clinic room Bruce uses is ripped apart and unsanitary, but it's still the best they can do. I think that houses and a hospital would be their best bet for survival/using as a base; resources, lodging, and some sort of safety exist there. Especially in a hospital, which would have backup generators, a camera system, and even a PA system. Hospitals have to accommodate for lots of people (food, space, lodging), and have a lot of medical equipment they can use.
Basically what I'm saying is: the Resistance likely doesn't have a permanent base. They don't have the resources or enough safety to make their own. They squat in abandoned places and move constantly, because nowhere is safe, but they can't just waltz in public and declare where they are; they have to hide in plain sight while they bide their time. In the meantime, the places they use would have to be resourceful, or they're using what they have on their backs. The manga already shows them using a house and a hospital room.
#cuz im seeing people talk about how the Resistance definitely made big fortified bases above ground and underground#and had strongholds everywhere or in one place but#where do they get the budget and time to make them?#we clearly see them hunkering down in an abandoned hospital and yoichi in some guys house#when yoichi is talking about his brother and AFOs own memory plays at the same time so theyre side-by-side#yoichi looks like he got a bit of a trim methinks#anywhoo I think bruce has a medical education or something along those lines because he knows how to run a hospital computer#and blood tests enough to detect factors. thatd have to be something recently discovered or his own discovery#since abilities just started then#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#spoilers#bruce#kudo#yoichi shigaraki#the resistance#afo#ofa#all for one#one for all#one for all users#dude not to offend but bruce and kudo dont look older than 30. they look like theyre 27 at best#bruce looks older than kudo which is why my guess is 27 being the oldest but really#id put kudo at 24 at the oldest. they look young and wouldnt have the resources to make buildings#nevermind the education or money or anything#anyway thats just my age guess of them#i think theyre about - if not /the/ - the same age#people talking about their base makes me pause because i just think: what base?#edit: THE RESISTANCE IS NOT THEIR NAME. THEY HAVE NO NAME?
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I am 99% sure I said this somewhere but I can’t find it in my posts anymore so may I just say AGAIN how absolutely hilarious to me it is that Catherine Morland is NOT boy crazy but she IS book crazy!!! And I know I’m just describing the basic premise of the story but it’s never hit me before that that is what she cares about at first to the exclusion of all else. Like. The friendship with Isabella is so funny (“friendship”) because Isabella’s like “books boys important secrets dances dresses self-importance” and Catherine is like “yes yes all of these” but she goes home and can ONLy think of her book and she likes being admired by the men calling her pretty but also really she’s like “but my story is so absorbing” and then even when she meets and likes Henry and is so delighted in his presence there is a part of her brain, a very big part, that is not thinking about romance at all!!!! She’s not thinking about marriage or whether or not he likes her it’s not absorbing her to the exclusion of all else the way you would expect?? That is NOT the immaturity to which she is susceptible—she goes to the abbey and even though at that point she likes Henry even more and is in pretty deep she can’t even deal with it until the spell with her fascination with fiction over reality is broken and her testing of whether or not fiction IS reality. And then once she learns that lesson and lets it go she can love him more completely but it’s just endlessly endearing to me that books are her first first love and she’s in their spell!!!
#it also makes the romance even more balancing#because she takes such humble enjoyment in Henry’s presence#and such pure-hearted delight#he dances so well! look at how he wears his greatcoat! he drives so well!!!#but she isn’t needy?? she isn’t like [ sob ] but will he ever like me???!#no she’s like. I am forced to be a DETECTIVE#and it SENDS ME INTO ORBIT LALSKSKEKEKEKEKEKKDDJJDJEJEJE#I love her sooooooooo much#she said yes yes romance we’ve all seen it IS SANTA CLAUS REAL THOUGH#funniest of all time#northanger abbey#SORRY I’ve SAID THIS BEFORE I THINK BUT I KEEP REMEMBERING IT AND THE DELIGHT OVERFLOWS#akkskeksksksjejewjwjwjiwiwiwieiwiwiwiwiwiwowjej#Henry’s like ‘hello? are you okay??’#and she’s like ‘oh no 😱 😭😭😭😭😭😭’#the way she gets so embarrassed after all her little tests/adventures#the exact same way you would if you were 17 years old but part of you still believed Santa Claus might be real and were testing it out#idk it’s all so obvious and clearly what the novel is about but it hit me so differently this time around!!!!!!!#movie versions play up her fascination with romance (and sex. Andrew Davies don’t interact)!#but she doesn’t care about romance for its own sake#and it’s endearing because she is so UNself-absorbed#it’s the secrets of the universe (read: ms. radcliffe’s books) for HER
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Ngl it's weird finishing the Knuckles tv show and going to tumblr about it only for people (even who I consider bigger name fans) who also watched the entire show to claim that it "confirmed Knuckles Wachowski"
Like
I'm sorry
Did you somehow miss the part in the last episode where Knuckles had a whole montage of hanging with the Whipple family and Wade and saying "home" or something?
#sonic the hedgehog#knuckles series#knuckles the echidna#knuckles 2024#knuckles whipple#sonic movie#knuckles 2024 spoilers#knuckles series spoilers#fandom wank#Sorry do you just think that this entire show was a sidequest so Knuckles could go back to the Wachowski house and be their kid now like#nothing ever happened?#In the show where episode 1 clearly showed that Knuckles couldn't mesh with the household and that Sonic considered him a roommate?#This place was not home for him. The show was about him finding home. How is the Wachowski household Knuckles' home after he had an epiphany#that his home was with the whipple family??#Ah wait sorry how could I forget. Sonic fans are just used to absorbing canon with a toothpick and picking the parts they like and then#claiming their headcanons for filling in the gaps are canon#Only the things they personally like are what happened of course#Sorry for being salty I'm just annoyed. Like you can have whatever headcanons or fanon you want. Heck I loved all those 'maddie is knuckles'#mom' comics and whatnot. I'm not even saying we have to interpret the media the same way. But Knuckles having a montage and calling being#with the whipple family 'home' happened. That happened.#A friend and I are running a bet that most people won't acknowledge that it happened unless Sonic movie 3 shoves it in our faces#The universe tests me every day by having put me into Sonic fandom. It is a constant test of one's soul not only to exist in proximity of a#community who you often disagree on big points with‚ but to watch a bunch of loud people claim things are canon but only accept textual#evidence when it serves them. Or to explain a little better#to watch a fandom try to build an 'accepted idea' of what canon is like that becomes so divorced from actual canon that you get people#saying that it's canon and ignoring anything that doesn't fit it because 'writing bad anyways'#Like guys please I am grasping your shoulders. If you don't like canon just say 'fuck you I'm going to make content of this because I think#it's better'. You don't have to assert that everything you believe is canon and ignore when it's not#i just be ramblin
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In the spirit of fairness, I will talk about one of the bad points of Helluva Boss. Because yes, Helluva Boss does have flaws and problems (not that I complain a lot about them because IT'S A FRIGGIN FREE SHOW - and for someone who is crushed by the economical inflation the concept of "free" is very important), and because, while I do consider that the hater-community of Helluva Boss has started a slippage into "let's cut ourselves from reality" that might end up one day in another Silent Hill Circumcision incident ; I also do consider that among the fans of Helluva Boss there are clearly people who are too immature for the show. Not immature as in "Haha, poop joke", I am speaking of immature as in emotion-wise immature, and also can't split reality from fiction.
... Now that I say this, the problem of confusing reality and fiction IS actually the flaw of both extremes and the reasons things go bad. Anyway.
Today I want to speak about the "Octavia is a cockblocker" moment. Now if you don't know, a LOT of fans got pissed off at Brandon Rogers in a recent interview because he explained his profound disdain of the character of Octavia. He told the interviewer in all honesty that he had told Vivienne Medranno about how he believed the show would have been better with Octavia removed - but the point that really set in flame some of the immature fans is when he described Octavia as simply being a "cock-blocker" when looking at her from the point of view of Blitzo's story. (Because that's another thing people seem to forget, but to be fair the show itself seems to forget it sometimes - this show is(was) meant Blitzo's story. It is called "Helluva Boss" and Blitzo is the Helluva Boss, and on the very first thumbnail it was just Blitzo's face and nobdoy else)
But enough digression. Many people got VERY angry at Brandon Rogers for saying this and called him many things including a "disgusting man" or "garbage" for "calling a 17 years old a cockblocker".
... Already if you are a sane and logical person you notice the first big red flag. Octavia is not a real person. To say that Octavia being called a cock-blocker is a disgusting move because "she is 17" is treating her as if she was a real person. And we have already enough problems with people NOT defending actual real-life minors of flesh and blood, without having delusional people starting to defend fictional characters which are just bits of pixel moving on a screen. Mind you, I do understand where this feeling comes from - because we all remember the DISASTER of the Instagram accounts, and the very reason why they were closed, so of course there is this specific trauma that can be triggered...
But it doesn't remove important facts. Such as how Octavia is a fictional character, or how Brandon Rogers isn't just a voice actor for Helluva Boss, but also one of its writers, and thus he literaly can have the opinion he wants on the characters he works on. I can write a five-year old character in one of my story and still call him, when asked about it, a "little fucker" because I hate him. The real question isn't hether or not I can call him that - it is about whether or not it is justified to call him that. This is a VERY important nuance that a lot of people do not seem to get: creators and writers have the right to call and treat their character however their want, but what is important is what their judgement of said character reveals.
And so let's return to Octavia. Is she a cock-blocker?
Now the question isn't really that either. The thing a lot of people do not get with Brandon Rogers' interviews, mostly because a huge part of the audience of Helluva Boss is NOT aware or familiar with mister Rogers' long, long, LOOONNGG history of Youtube creation (he was doing videos long before some of the HB fans were even BORN) is that he is literaly the "offensive, crude, not for children" Youtube man, who made it a style, persona and trademark of ending a sketch by drinking a cup of cum or shouting swear words in the middle of supermarkets. That, plus as he explains very clearly in the interview, he identifies a lot with Blitzo's character and it does influence his judgement as he considers the story from the point of view of the character he is writing about and for.
All of that being said, "cock-blocker" does mean more than just "cock-blocker": what is being told here is that Octavia only "serves" as a character in relation to Stolas and Blitzo's relationship, and Rogers did very clearly say that all Octavia was doing all the time was "crying for her daddy". Putting aside the poetic words used - it did made me think about Octavia as a character, and... when you think of Octavia from a creator's point of view, she is right.
Putting aside the choice of ~ poetic ~ words, Octavia does indeed suffer from a specific character-writing problem. In fact I myself didn't like very much Octavia ever since her introduction, but I couldn't quite put my finger on why as she seemed like a complete character who didn't do anything specific to annoy me - but Rogers' comment on her role in the show being just a "crying cock-block" made me realize the truth. The reason I dislike Octavia, and what Brandon Rogers was actually conveying through his words, is that she is a "lamp-character".
Octavia only exists as an extension of Stolas' plotline and in relationship to him. She is only important and impactful for Stolas' subplots and little world within the Helluva Boss universe, and she doesn't really impact others around her. Sure, she does have a deeper interaction with Loona... But notice how it is more about Loona interacting with Octavia and influencing her than Octavia actually influencing Loona in any way. The only two episodes Octavia was in, are all about depicting her in light of her relationship with Stolas, and she only ever impacts or interacts with him. Sure, IMPS is dragged along - but more as a secondary consequence, and always by Stolas not so much Octavia herself. Stella doesn't suffer from this problem because, unlike Octavia, she DOES interact and impact the Helluva Boss universe outside of Stolas' character bubble - by being the boss of Striker, thus having her involved in a whole other side of the world.
However Octavia is so walled in and isolated into Stolas' subplot that she fails badly at the "lamp-test". I don't recall the exact name of this test, but it is simply about "Can this character be replaced by a lamp, and will it change anything?" It was originally designed specifically for the writing of female characters - which makes it even more fitting because Helluva Boss does have a problem with female characters.
LooLoo Land: Octavia can be replaced by a lamp and the plot won't change. Stolas has to bring his lamp to the park for whatever reason (maybe he wants to repair it), but in the process he uses this trip as an excuse to have the IMPS, and at the end he almost loses his lamp and someones tries to steal it away from him, but he gets it back and all is fine.
Sure there are emotional scenes and some character interactions - but plot wise, Octavia herself is not important, as she is a narrative tool and plot excuse.
Same thing with the Hollywood episode. Replace the plot with "Stolas loses his lamp, that gets sent to the human world, and he must get it back" - and the episode STILL WORKS.
While some might be offended by Brandon Rogers' comment of Octavia being just a living cock-blocker for the Stolas-Blito relationship that should be removed to make the show better ; he is actually conveyed in his usual offensive way a truth. Octavia only exists as an extension of Stolas' character, feelings and dilema. All she does is cry about missing her father, and so far the two episodes she was in literaly repeat the same plot and dynamic of "Sad girl, gets away, father returns, they bond again". She does not impact the plot in such a meaningful way that she is NEEDED, she can literaly be replaced by a lamp and the narrative wouldn't move, she does not interact meaningfully with any character outside of her father (and yes, the show not exploring Stella's relationship with her daughter is another big hole caused by the unbalance and poor thoughts put into Octavia's character)... Octavia literaly only exists to cry and make Stolas feel bad, and that's it.
Mind you, this post might age badly when the show returns post-October, because we have been teased (and spoiled by the cursed leakers, damned be their souls) of Octavia actually FINALLY having an impactful role that will change the narrative in future episode, so thanks the devils for that! But until then... so far Octavia literaly is a lamp-character that has no real use outside of starting a plot that is not about her, and making Stolas more depressed. Stella is a much more interested, needed and well-written character than Octavia - and yet Stella is far less complex or compelling, and much more superficial than Octavia's character is.
And it is quite a flaw when your one-sided, flat-character of a villain is more essential to your plot than the character you want an audience to feel involved with.
#helluva boss#octavia#stella#character writing#the lamp test#helluva boss clearly does NOT deserve all the irrational hate it deserves#but at the same time helluva boss writing quality clearly goes up and down depending on the episodes#and i guess it is due to it being a show written by three different people
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what if i just kill alistair in ilya's canon
#p#ilya surana#what i'm thinking rn#post dai when he has the cure for the blight#he's tested it on blighted animals or w/e and it's all good#the wardens are officially ignoring him but there's a small group that are down w/the shit he's doing#he just can't find a volunteer among the wardens#so al is like hello beloved#this shit concerns the fuck out of me but i'll be your test subject#so he starts doing the same thing he did on the animals on al#but it isn't working the same so he's trying to adjust as he goes#and it's not working#al is just getting sicker and sicker and ilya physically can't reverse what he's doing#and he just...slowly dies#this is obviously after they have a surprise baby and their daughter is just a few years old#and ilya is coping BADLY because of fucking course#but he's determined to get it right#so he does the same process on someone who got blighted#and it works the same way as it did on the blighted animals#so clearly it's the joining that's the issue#he focuses entirely on curing people who got blighted normally because they won't let him get close to any of the joining materials until-#-post dav#but he's never able to fully cure it#you still gotta take meds every day but it's fairly simple to make on your own so he doesn't need to micromanage it#he writes this whole ass book pre-dav including instructions on what you need to do to yourself to access the kind of magic required#and then the step by step process for mage wardens who do all that to follow in order to cure someone#first warden denounces it and spreads a lot of bullshit about him among the wardens bc there's a lot of blood magic involved#and it's super risky to the mage warden who tries to do what ilya did to himself#also it'd kinda make an army of near immortal warden mages#but he can't just quietly kill the hero of ferelden
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Clash of Triton 2011 PC/Mac
#king neptune#spongebob#spongebob squarepants#patrick#I never watched the special actually so#this games ending makes me think neptune set this all up just to test his son?#Also weird thing about this game is#there's a flash one that is very different and is a beat em up#follows the same idea of triton being released so both are clearly working off the special#which is funny bc i thought this game felt like a flash game tbh and was like port :0#maybe i'll get to the flash game in the future.
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NAMI NEEDS TO GO UP THERE AND FIGHT BIG MOM I AM SO SERIOUS!!! THIS IS A BATTLE FOR THE ROMANCE DOWN TRIO!! SANJI DO NOT DARE TAKE HER SPOT!!!
#big mom just giving birth here on the battlefield.....#do i comment on the incestuous relationship between clouds made of the same soul??? no?? okay...#oh jesus.... goodbye kid and killer.... nami needs to get up there and take control of zeus and i am so serious#HER SKILL IS SO POWERFUL AND SO PERFECT FOR THIS FIGHT AGAINST BIG MOM BUT BECAUSE SHE IS NOT PART OF THE STRONG TRIO SHE GETS STUCK WITH#THE B LIST VILLAINS!!!! LKKE WHY DOES SHE NEED TO FIGHT ULTI?? OKAY THAT WAS MEANINGFUL BUT THAT COULD END THERE!!!!#SANJI GO FIGHT PAGE ONE!!! SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF ULTI AND LET LUFFY ZORO AND NAMI TAKE CARE OF KAIDO AND BIG MOM!!! I AM SERIOUS!!!#big mom is inside the castle.... maybe i will get my wish granted (kinda...)#kid and nami against big mom.... maybe sanji can join... i can see it so clearly.... come on now.....#if namo knew armor haki she would have gone up there and taken zeus and dealt with prometheus and his sister wife. let the others w/ big mom#fucking hawkins... end him killer.... calling him domesticated lmao... end his pathetic ass#using conqueror's haki on the weapons..... also zoro having it too.... the flower petals symbolism..... OHHHHHHHHH#nani indeed...... BREAK THAT MACE!!!! YEAAHHH!!!! law is completely baffled#KAIDO GOT SENT BACK!!!! LETSGOOOOO AND THE OG INTRO MUSIC QUICKS IN!!!! law just saw god again....#he said fuck off i got this.... omg.... he is either gonna nearly die and doesn't want them to follow or doesn't want to worry about them#while he fights and they try to defend him.... no other explaination (apart for 4 the plot reasons)#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1028#luffy king of everything that was such a slay#they changed luffy chiquito's design....#i was gonna say luffy swimming...... but he can't yet akdhajsj#yasopp taking care of everyones children but his own...... i see how it is....#WHY WOULD SHANKS STAY IN GOA IF NOT TO TALK WITH GARP WHO LIVES THERE!!! I AM TELLING YOU SHANKS IS IN KAHOOTS WITH THE MARINES!!!!#i was thinking about shanks scar... and thought it might be from buggy with his three knives in between his fingers you know#but it is too small... like the knives would take more space.... but maybei might be reaching and it is from buggy and not like a little paw#or little hand.... however much distrubing you want to paint it....#shanks is testing little luffy's intelligence... he knows his weak spot already akdhjasj#uta calling herself a diva.... ajshaksn might this be the reason luffy was so inclined to having a musician since the start???#episode 1029#that was like a perfectly realistic relationship between an older smartass girl and a younger boy lmao it was spot on
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snorkmaiden running in saying her brothers about to jump off a cliff and moominpapa saying "didnt think he was the type" 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
#made me laugh so fucking hard what#this was like a second after i realized he was probably testing a flyig machine#i love how moominpapa clearly had the same assumption i did thi#akfbiahtjenfjsngbsjf#adventures from moominvalley#fallow buzzes
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this september has been absolutely cursed so far. back to back misfortunes and setbacks.
the funniest one (or well, the one i can't help but laugh about) is how my new doc at the health center was gravely worried over my hemoglobin count. surely it is a sign my hrt dose is too high and all my organs are going to melt!
i have just recently graduated from the trans hrt specialty clinic after a long time of monitoring my hemoglobin and figuring out a dose that actually keeps me just above the lower threshold of the clinical range i'm aiming for. they figured my blood is just Like That as a genetic thing. the only time in my life i've had a hemoglobin count within the reference ranges is the few years when i ate mostly vegan and donated blood regularly. i was told by a school nurse at fifteen that i should donate blood when i turn 18 because my blood is so thick.
like it's p likely i was a bit dehydrated during that latest blood draw too. the doc needs to chill. there were much more worrying things in the results than the hemoglobin. stuff that's the actual reason i went to get the tests done.
but my blood being thick and rich like a luxurious vampire delicacy never fails to make me laugh
#overshare best share clearly#it's not super worrying#it's actually stuff that's been Going On for a long time (and actually been getting better lately)#mostly a combo of how i can't manage to eat right exercise enough and destress and that's taking a toll on my body#and then how my meds and the amount of pain meds i take for the migraines are hard on my liver#this all stops being funny real fast when you stop to think#about how a doctor is ignoring pain medication overuse and weight as problems (docs favorites)#in favor of seeing hrt as the culprit#(weight itself ofc isn't the problem here (or ever))#(my weight gain just happens to be the result of the same process that has fucked up other shit)#so you bet i'm going to donate blood and superhydrate myself before the next test i got scheduled for in month and a half
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i finally went back and looked thru all the replies i got ty guys for sending me all the good vibes <3 im not feeling great mentally bc. no sleep but my nervous have calmed down quite a bit because i know now what was causing the severe symptoms. I've got referrals set up to take a better look at my actual stomach problems so fingers crossed
#yappin#i Know i have some sort of inflammatory stomach thing going up bc high inflammation levels are ALWAYS on my blood tests#im convinced i have pcos but never got any answers#im pretty fat so any time they do uterine ultrasounds they say they cant ever see things clearly down there#and i have every other symptom too#my kidney stone stuff over a year ago started right during a horrible start to my period#and same thing happened with this kidney infection fan.....
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you know, it's an interesting feeling to experience sudden and new joint pain that is impacting my ability to, among other things, hold a pen for an extended period of time and the only thing that my (now former) doctor has done is repeatedly test me for lupus (it's not lupus. it's still not lupus.) and tell me he was going to prescribe me claritin for it and then not actually put in the prescription.
#brother there are 2394857349853458 different autoimmune diseases you can't just keep re-testing for the same one i clearly don't have#it was very promising at my first appointment! he was like 'after this bloodwork i'll send you to an allergist and/or a rheumatologist'#he ultimately just decided that it was something an over the counter antihistamine could deal with as if that wasn't the first thing i trie#hey in his defense he did begrudgingly sign off on testing for celiac after i asked#and after letting me know repeatedly and in no uncertain terms that i'm an idiot for asking#he's like ummm sweaty that is a gut issue#1) those aren't the only symptoms and 2) you didn't even ask me if i HAD gut issues (i do)#please let it be celiac it would be soooo funny timmy turner praying to god and to jesus dot jpeg#'i'm still having issues with my ears' 'did you go back to the ENT' 'yes' 'did she have any recommendations' 'no'#'did you go back to the ENT again?' brother why would i go back to the ENT to get a recommendation that she already didn't have#health
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whatever happens i cant fail is an *abysmal* strategy for living life. and yet rn....
#its not a good long term strategy#also i remember my physics teacher saying life isn't a 98% on a test lol#but also this was the same teacher that hasnt taught me very much mechanics since the start of the year because she presumes people just...#*know*#the further mathmaticians do#not meeeee though#i cant guage whats hard and whats just me being the dumbest idiot there#anyways the way i communicated that to her after the third lunchtime i spent with her doing mechanics somewhat properly was i told her#that it felt like being in plato's cave#and tbh a truer statement has never been said by moi#anyways this all ties together#i cant fail (get less than an A) in phys#and i'm not fucking giving up on mechanics#sooooooo#i'll just cope and get through it whatever way i can#btw i remember my first lesson of statics like 2 months ago#uhmmmmmm.....#she went straight into it and was like guysssss you know this righttttt? ✨#and she literally speaks with glitter at the end of sentences like this lol ✨#i should've predicted the future months of mechanics from that huh lol#i mean the only positive of this was like#in my last test#i was able to explain very clearly what principles apply *in words* to a problem#becuase those principles are fucking hammered into my head#i got full marks on those questions compared to a lot of my quite mathsy classmates#idk man im just gonna have at least a competent grip on mechanics so my grade is decent hm
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#i have a boyfriend#I'm very happy about it#it's very fast#especially for me#who has never dated before#but I'm not upset about it#it feels right#he half jokingly clearly testing the waters referred to me as his girlfriend in a text last night#and I'm very happy with it#because i had been trying to figure out how to have the What are we conversation#sometime in the next week#before i go back to the us to see friends#I'm just really happy#and happy that he and i are on the same page
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Whew ! this one took me quite a lot of efforts :o
Based off a joke with a friend about dating one of Fontaine means likely having Arlecchino being the scary in-law
#{ lily's doodle }#{ lily's art }#genpact related#arlecchino genpact#lyney genpact#//some nameless npc#// Been going through a bit of an art blog so i promised myself i'd focus on low efforts doodle#// *vagues at all the details which prove i clearly lied to myself *#// might make same thing but with Ly.nette later#// still testing around with 'paper' size and pencils_ the joy of not being used to digital doodling yet
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