#it's fucking annoying having aro and ace characters dismissed

[greenteaandtattoos]

Yeah, hi, so,

I have a better idea:

✨Let aroace characters be aroace✨ challenge 2024 [impossible]

[shinysobi]

"it was awkward to see colin flirt and behave like a rake" "he gave me the ick" yes ! that is the fucking point!! congratulations! you have the media literacy skills of a fucking monkey because my 4-year old niece could understand it better than you do.

we are supposed to find colin cringey and annoying and get the ick because that is not who he is. he is not anthony, or simon, or even benedict. colin (apart from gregory) is the sweetest of all bridgerton brothers (i'm going by book canon) and his most identifiable character trait is the fact that he values an emotional connection above everything. he runs away to the continent because he wants to feel that emotional connection. he has meaningless sex in brothels because that is the example he has seen growing up, that is the norm. he tries so hard to fit into the norm. he goes out drinking, adopts an entirely new personality, learns flirtations because that is how he thinks he will fit in. he's got armour on, as violet said. he puts everyone's needs above his own, he stops rambling on and boring his family with details of his trip because he knows no one cares. he doesn't talk to anthony or benedict about his heartaches because he knows they still, somewhere in their heart of hearts, view him as the annoying younger brother. he's so devastated by his closest friend not responding to him that he adopts a new personality in the hopes that it might mask the hurt better. he runs after penelope in episode one because he is so attuned to her emotions that he knows she's hurting, and tries to comfort her even when she's spiraling and lashes out. he must have been hurt by her words in the "good night mr bridgerton" scene but he puts it aside to genuinely apologise to her when literally no one else in that family would do that. colin, instead of brooding over his own feelings, goes and corners penelope in her family's garden and apologises to her, disregarding his own hurt at being cruelly dismissed by his close friend.

penelope asking colin to kiss her is not a mark of how "pathetic" she is. she has written and shamed herself in a manner that is almost entirely unsalvageable. she is at her lowest point, and then portia comes in and reminds her of how undesirable she is, and she sinks even lower. she asks colin to kiss her because she sees it as a final act, after which she can quietly wave goodbye to her dreams of ever getting married and leaving her mother's home. colin kisses her because he is also keenly aware of how she's feeling. he knows how hurt she is, he wants to do anything to alleviate that. be it cracking a joke, or kissing her. he is gentle, because he wants it to be something she can dream of when she's by herself. penelope, at this moment, has no hope for herself, and their kiss is an act of letting go for her. no, it's not a pity kiss, no he did not like her after her glow up, he has always loved her. him being struck dumb is a reaction to her physical transformation, nothing more. he does not flirt with her in that ballroom scene, he only approaches her when she's in distress. he's not flirting with her. i can assure you penelope could wear the frumpiest most neon yellow gown of all time and colin would still go "<333 my pen" for her.

colin jumps to catch the balloon's ropes because he sees that penelope is in danger, he does not give a shit about anyone else lmao. he feels temporary relief when he sees eloise run to safety, but the moment he sees penelope in immediate danger, he rushes to take action. afterwards, when he sees that she's being comforted by debling (all my homies hate debling, even if he is aro/ace coded i do NOT claim him) he does not approach her. it would be easy for him to do so, but he does not, because he respects her boundaries. colin bridgerton is the only man in the ton who respects women (the featherington sons-in-laws are too pretty to have a thought) he calls out fife and his friends for treating women like objects and calls them cavalier. the only way he would have been more explicit about his demisexuality was if he tap danced on the club table (entertaining thought, luke newton please)

colin also rapidly takes action, something which no one in the show has done so far. simon would have died instead of accepting his feelings for daphne, daphne would have been content with a loveless marriage forever instead of asking for help. kate would have pushed edwina down the aisle and gone off to india instead of confronting her own feelings, and anthony would have married edwina if she hadn't been brave enough for the three of them to run from the altar and ruin herself. penelope stood on the sidelines for years and loved him quietly because she had no hope of him loving her back. colin, the moment he is assured of his feelings, runs to penelope, almost kisses her in the middle of a ballroom. when he hears that debling is about to propose, he goes to the ball, just to dissuade penelope one more time. he cuts into their dance because he's desperate. when he runs after her carriage, he asks her if she has been proposed to, because he would not have touched her otherwise. he confesses his feelings to her only when he knows that she hasn't gotten engaged to debling, and when she says "but we are friends" he moves away. nothing more. he would have let her go, if she did not return his feelings.

idk whether i should be flattered or offended at people misunderstanding this season because on one hand it is offensive, but on the other hand, it means only smart people get polin. seriously. your minds have been rotted by insta-love and enemies to lovers that you can't even appreciate the innate beauty of friends to lovers. being friends with someone and then holding all those feelings for them. the trepidation of possible rejection. the fulfillment of being loved by the person who knows you the best of them all. the privilege of loving someone whose feelings you know better than your own. love is gentle and kind and yes it is a violent, uprooting force but above all, love does not hurt anyone. it does not hurt you. i could love someone quietly for years and it wouldn't bother me if their feelings were requited or not because my feelings are none of their business and i consider it a privilege to love and be loved by them, even if it is not in the way i would want it to be. polin are privileged in the highest sense. they know each other better than anyone else, they know how to love each other better than anyone else. to think they are rushed or they dont deserve each other is a disservice to both of them. they would be miserable with anyone else.

in other matters, if i see one more person talking smack about luke or nicola behind the safety of their screens i will personally get a bazooka.

[istherewifiinhell]

(pacing a rut into my kitchen floor) okay so im gonna talk a bit about concept and functions of bitter aros and bitter aroism, cause as a person who was alive, present, aware and affected by the the sort of. boom and bust of mainstream aspec discourse. im just a little. annoyed. i guess.

but hey im also gonna use it as an excuse to tell you to go watch the show koisenu futari, which i havent seen in a minute, but is one, fucking impeccable, and two, can give you a sort of, short hand for... the culture? the types of people and modes of discourse as you say.

and im gonna put up a polite hand and say. if you are ace or ace adjacent but not aro... please dont assume youre... automatically coming from the same place as me, an aro/aro adjacent allo. great

i think i want to start with saying... i dont think your specific identity or internal feelings is actually the end all and be all of this or related discussion. i dont even think its the primary function of relation to this conversation. but... i think maybe that also gives people the leeway to... assume equal stakes... which? just isnt true?

so to starrrrrt. bitter aro? is just a term im using to describe.... confrontational aroism, aggressive? maybe even derisive? exhausted, tired, depressed, also all function. now... if your not in the spaces, the functions, the forums or the friend groups, maybe you don't know one of these or know what I mean by that?

in which case, thats where i say, go watch my 8 episode aro drama series. its fantastic. i said so in a post i made two years ago. the male deuteragonist? the leading man? the lanky tall guy? takahashi is one such guy. i characterize his "bitter aroism" as disaffection with the normative world, a sort of very visible defiance of it, and a deeply acted aroism that makes him off putting to people.

i also characterize it as deeply knowledgeable basis in aro concepts and theory, and the at least occasionally willingness to make that known. such things as the sociological construction of romance, knowledge of many queer identities, modes of existences and these people move through the world, and the theoretical and mechanical functions of amatonormativity.

in this regard even if you dont know a bitter aro, if you spend any time in marginal spaces or discussions you might still know a "bitter (other identity)". generally, the kind of people who know they have to defend their right to exist, and do it extensively, and yes, it makes them angry, frustrated, dismissive. at times.

so but. the aro discourse hasssss. changed a lot in the past. gosh. decade plus? and you may find. in a lot of places, maybe theres an assumed acceptance so like. huh? what? who are these bitter aro people defending themselves from...

ah. bud.

if you see out there, or indeed are saying yourself: well hey its all relationship anarchy here, its all about kissing the homies now, its all about loving your friends. no one cares! um. im.... not automatically impressed.

in general.... i dont think its enough to 'not be aro but believe in their beliefs'. now, here me out. i love when people say that. i do in fact love people realizing you can do whatever you want forever. that you make your world and than you get decide how you shape your life and the relationships you have. but. just cause you improved your life doing that.... doesnt guarantee you made the lives of the aro people around you better.

or in bitter terms... do better or fuck off. no but dont actually. or do... i cant control you but, hear me out? this... more passive kind of aro acceptance can do a lot for people... certain people. it might mean ur nicer, more understanding, more accepting offfffff. (drum roll) allo aros, romance flavourable aros, partnered aros, orientated aros, grey aros, aros in qprs orrrrr. shit. anything else that means. hey! this person maybe be aro. but they can hang with me in this harsh cold amatonormative world.

(if you still need the KF character comparison, and can live with a little reductionism, that could be the younger, more bubbly and passing Sakuko)

and. well. this is were i get pissed off! and. its a pissed off coming from deep sadness. im glad you like a palatable aro. but. what about the aros who are sick of the romance stories, who dont like sex, who are tired of all their friends going off with partners, who dont want to keep hearing about the relationship drama, who dont want a qpr, who dont want to choose a friendish life partner of any kind. who are alienated and angry and sad in this fucked up world.

AND. these people are INDEED going to be the most MATERIALLY affected by amatonormative. the structures in this world that favours partnered people, the assumption of romance or romance-like intimacy in peoples lives, and the lifestyles it entails.

like. i dunno, until youve been reading the blogs of these people, having the conversations, the quiet admissions when standing alone with them. if you dont witness their anger and hurt. like... what are we doing here.

so. i bring this all up to say. if you ever ARE. witnessing a bitter aro. and your... i dunno? confused. trying to be an ally but still... deeply enmeshed in your allo worldview. your thinking. whys this person so... incomprehensible to me. why do they seem so set on making themself miserable, on making me miserable. why is it so uncomfortable to be in this space with them...

well... it could be for just a moment. you're experiencing the life they have to?

im not asking you to befriend every hydrothermic shrimp forum poster aro, to love thy crab bucketing aro neighbour. they might be aplatonic and loveless anyway.

but. a little understanding? some fucking tolerance? may i be so bold as to ask u to just. accept thats a way someone exists and it exists IN CONTEXT. with how again. NORMATIVE society works... and that you don't exist that way... cause you are infact. benefiting from the amatonormativity. by being closer to the norm... (ON THIS AXIS. DO NOT TRY ME). you'll note i havent said aro.phobia, or mistia, if you perfer, once. cause im not talking about the strictest sense of personal or structural bigotries... but rather the societal constructions that are influencing.... what feels NORMAL and what doesnt. you know. NORMATIVITY.

that would be nice? id give you a big thumbs up. for free.

[readingoals]

I feel like I say this a lot in regards to aspec books but I really wanted to like this more than I did.

Now, maybe my problem is partly that a lot of aro and/or ace books are YA and I typically don't pick up YA anymore, but I think I feel justified in giving this book 2 stars even taking that into account.

Apologies, but it's going to get long and ranty so I'm putting this under a cut.

I hated the writing style. It was written in third person but to me it felt very clear that the author wanted to write in first person and was talked out of it. There are constant interruptions throughout the text of little side comments in brackets. (They looked like this.) (Often with two or three or even more in a row) (I think it was meant to come across as cute and quirky because oh boy is the MC supposed to be adorkable but fuck it annoyed me). And because it was written in third person but at least half of these bracketed interjections felt as if it was the MC commenting on things or they were her thoughts, the tone ended up being confusing. Every time the text said "Alice did this" or "Alice went there" I was like surprised because I expected it to be more from her point of view.

Speaking of Alice. Though she's like 19 or 20 in the story, she reads as quite a bit younger. Half of what she says sounds as if she's quoting the most annoying tumblrina possible. She says squee and has a "cutie code" which she uses to rank everything and her reactions to so much of what happens in the story felt like how a high schooler would react. Her only interests seem to be Netflix and food, but she refuses to learn to cook because she injured herself a couple of times when she did try. She writes analytical essays about the shows she watches which is fun except she says it's because shes like too sophisticated for fanfic or something which feels kinda shitty. And when a friend dares to suggest she might like dating someone who is also ace, she dismisses it out of hand.

The love interest was boring - his most defining feature was how hot he was - and more than once he seemed to overstep boundaries Alice had set (bugging her at work when she'd asked him not to, taking photos of her while she slept even tho shed made it clear she didnt love having her photo taken) but it was always positioned as him being cute and showing interest in her rather than it being creepy or rude. Similarly, the secondary characters were all pretty one dimensional.

As for plot. It was pretty weak. I kept waiting for anything to happen. Theres a whole thing about Alice being pushed by her family to become a lawyer even though she doesn't want to. And shes always going on about how she loves decorating rooms but as soon as someone suggests she should get into an interior design course she seems surprised it's a real job. Sorry but by the time I was 19 I knew what a fucking interior designer was! Especially for someone watching as much tv as she does....theres so many shows about decorating houses.

And then we get to the real big issues. Alice is asexual, which is great. Except that she's written so fucking badly. The way she talks about and explains her experiences with sex are contradictory. She frequently quotes tumblr when explaining being ace but doesn't seem to understand any of what she says. The author fell back on tired tropes and misunderstandings of asexuality. In fact Alice is barely a character who happens to be asexual. She is asexuality dressed up as a character. All she thinks about is being ace and not knowing if she wants sex or not. It's boring.

This isn't a spoiler since it's in the blurb and like chapter 1, but Alice's girlfriend breaks up with her because Alice doesn't want to have sex as much as she does. She is then positioned as evil through the whole rest of the book, completely demonised for it, even though Alice literally never told her she was ace. And then when the love interest says some similar things at one point, then it's glossed over and fixed in a day. They never have a real conversation about it, or about how to navigate a relationship when one of them is ace (and seemingly sex repulsed? Altho maybe not for him? It's never made clear) and the other is allo. In fact no one has any proper conversations about anything through the whole damn book.

At one point I thought we were going to get something real. Theres a scene at a party. Alice is hit on by a drunk guy who says some pretty gross things based on her skin colour. It would have been a fantastic opportunity to start a dialogue about how Alice's experiences as a black woman intersect with her asexual identity, especially in regards to being fetishised and sexualised because of racist stereotypes, and how experiencing that would feel as someone with no interest in sex. Instead it was glossed over and forgotten. And then a couple chapters later we got a pointless deep dive explanation into the idea of platonic soulmates which felt like the author was once again trying to prove her characters were friends without really doing the work to show it.

Look, you can tell the author was trying hard but she completely missed the mark, especially in regards to asexuality and what that means. She hit all the big dot points - that arousal and attraction are two different things, that there are multiple types of attraction, that asexuals can have and enjoy sex, that you can love someone romantically and still not want to have sex with them. And yet it felt as if the minute it was on the page, she totally forgot about it in order to manufacture the drama.

A total disappointment.

[theroundbartable]

Fuck yeah, this is exactly it. I love when people point out musical themes, because I may be classically trained in an instrument, but I am so bad at audio understanding, holy shit. I only have a few minor things to say and eh... Yeah well, tell me what you think, but don't take me too seriously, please XD :

A) first of all, Gwen IS mentioned in the final episode. It's when Arthur gives Gaius his royal sigil to pass it on to Gwen. THAT is the goodbye. The entire episode is Gwen learning that her husband will not come back, but that he trusts her with the kingdom. And that she learns Merlin is being there for him as he always was and she understands and, to quote her: she is "pleased".

B) which is why I will repeat what I've said in other posts: Arthur loves both Merlin and Gwen. But differently. His Relationship with Gwen is build on mutual interests and ideas and visions for the kingdom. That's why she is the queen. Because she loves the kingdom and so does Arthur.

Arthur and Merlin love each other on a more individual and personal level. What really stands between them are Merlin's lies and that's why Arthur only falls for Merlin in the final episode when the truth is finally out. (This is where this beautifully aligns with OP.)

C) i don't think Gwen is annoyed or displeased by Merlin being there. She knew what she was getting into when she married Arthur. It's established in the farm scene that Arthur only comes as a package deal with Merlin. And I think Gwen didn't mind that. I think it amused her and she wanted Arthur to admit it in the date scene mentioned above, because Arthur is stubborn and they both have to deal with his idiocy.

D) In season 5 episode 12, when she's in bed with Arthur, they aren't in Camelot. And while I agree that the two of them have a rather chaste marriage, this scene is shot at the front line of war. They think they will die tomorrow and Arthur suddenly having a vision of Merlin isn't concerning because he's having a sexual dream about him. It's that Merlin warns him in his sleep of Morgana's trap and Arthur takes it seriously enough to actually listen to it, while he'd usually dismiss anything Merlin says. I think Gwen is just as surprised as Arthur is that a dream like that makes him react so fast. She isn't upset about a potential love triangle, she's been too long in this relationship to know what Arthur thinks. It's the upcoming war and the shared concern for Merlin who is not with them at that time that puts that expression on her face. I don't see jealousy there, tbh. Also, the dream could have easily been a magic trick of Morgana, so Gwen's worry has, in my opinion, more layers than jealousy. Gwen has far more character in the show than to be reduced to a secondary love interest. She is a queen, and she acts like it and thinks like it and expresses like it too. There is little room for sexual enthusiasm in that scene and I find it very relieving to see that the show took that moment seriously for what it was. I'd even argue that if this HAD BEEN a sex scene, then I'd agree with OP's statement above that Gwen's reaction would be seen as jealousy and confusion about their relationship.

E) I have never, in my entire life, seen a scene that makes a Leon/Gwen ship reasonable. And while I am open to hear it out, I will forever refuse to accept it. Nuh uh. NOTP!!! Aro/Ace immortal Leon for life, baby. Lmao, sorry, but this is a headcanon I will defend with my life. xD u can still ship it, of course.

F) what a creator says about a show is not canon. You can fight me on this take, but if the source material does not show it, then it's simply not a thing. The word 'author' comes from the word 'authority' and refers to the person who has the authority over a text. pre printing history, there was no such thing as authorship. There were composers of texts there were scribes and kings who had influences over these texts, because they had influcences over the scribes, story and composer, and no one put their name under it... or rarely at least. The idea of a text belonging to some individual came after printing was invented. And today we have editors and lectors. In movies we have script writers, set designers, editors, actors, directors and so on and so forth and all of them have a certain power over the story. Bbc merlin would have been different, had we not had Katie McGrath as Morgana, Bradley James as Arthur, Colin Morgan as Merlin and Angel Colby as Guinevere. So who has the power over the show? Over the characters? Who can tell you who is what? Who does what? Who feels what?

We're working with these texts and scenes and designs and we are the ones analysing what is happening. So we have to differenciate between these things. Now, we, as the Community, have authority as well. Because now that the show is over, we have the power over the given canon. So, I personally love what the directors and actors say, but not all they say aligns with the show. So, if Bradley James says: 'Merthur bromance wins over Arwen romance' we can agree to that because it aligns with the show.

If the director says, Gwen now has Leon, but I don't see it in the show, my headcanons are just as valid as his are and just as correct. Which is also why my disagreements are not contradicting, but parallel to OP's post.

Thank you for reading^^ feel free to add your own thoughts.

Merlin BBC UK TV Show - A Psychological Analysis Series Part 8

“ The deterioration of Arwen in season 5”

My biggest takeaway from Season 5 is how the Arwen ship was dismantled piece by piece by the show creators.

In season 5, Arthur and Gwen are married, but their relationship was shown to be exceedingly formal, chaste, without true communication and lack of personal touch. Let me elaborate:

Formal : They never kiss in season 5 !!!!!!!!!!

2. Chaste : Arthur and Gwen are always shown completely dressed even in the bedroom

whereas other couples are shown in a more sexually charged light than them.

Shirtless Gwaine and Eira who are not married

3. Lack Of Communication : Scene From Season 5:

Gwen: I know you sometimes desire time alone away from me… If you don’t wish me to accompany you I’d rather you told me yourself than have Merlin do it

4. Lack of Personal Touch :

It looks more like an intentional reference to the episode where Arthur and Gwen first kissed:

Arthur: I can kill a chicken from a thousand paces, just don’t ask me to cook it. That’s what servants are for.

Gwen: I’m not ashamed to be a servant. At least I’m not a liar.

Arthur: We had a nice meal together. What does it matter where it came from?

Gwen: Because I thought you’d shown some humility. You had done something kind for me even though I’m just a servant.

NOW THAT BEGS THE QUESTION, WHY WOULD THE CREATORS DO THIS ?

In cannon stories, Arthur and Gwen are married. Gwen has an affair with Lancelot. Their affair brings about the fall of Camelot.

In the TV series, Lancelot is dead, so the series creator try to highlight another love triangle

GWEN ------------------ARTHUR---------------- MERLIN

They could have Gwen out of this scene, but they didn’t. And if you know how these things are shot, then you also know it wasn’t a mistake on the filmmakers part, it was on purpose.

There are always 3 people in this marriage, and I don’t think that Gwen is very happy about that, even though she doesn’t always voice it out loud:

Gwen’s dissatisfaction of her marriage shows in the Dark Tower episode. Gwen: “Arthur doesn’t tell me anything”. And it wasn’t just a flippant statement.

It all plays into her greatest fears (as Morgana confirmed once again: “The mandrake root is cruel. It pierces the depths of your soul, twisting your unconscious into the very image of fear and dread.”)

So why would Gwen fear her husband lying and mocking her the most? As well as her brother and Arthur’s knight Elyan and Arthur’s best friend - Merlin?

It’s because she doesn’t fully believe Arthur on some subconscious level. This is what Morgana plays into. She knows that Gwen was feeling a little alone even before the Dark Tower (we see bits of it in the earlier episodes, when Gwen asks Arthur to stay with her and he politely refuses and goes with the knights to yet another mission.) “Gwen, you’re not alone now. You need never be alone again. I am the only one you can trust.”

Arthur acts as a knight should with his wife, he gives her beautiful compliments. You can’t really accuse him of abandoning his wife:

But what he does immediately after that? After all, it’s a Gwen/Arthur’s date, he pays attention to Merlin.

And if you ask me, Gwen doesn’t look happy about it:

The last Gwen/Arthur moment in the show ends with Arthur saying ‘Merlin’ and bolting out of bed because he dreamed his servant was talking to him.

LOL at Gwen’s face

And no goodbye :

More importantly, In the final episode of the series there is not a single scene between Arthur and Gwen. What happened there? They gave 'proper’ goodbyes to Perceival/Gwaine and Merlin/Gaius, even Arthur/Gaius. It was actually a stunningly disrespectful ending to the relationship they seemed to prioritize for so long.

It is because the show creators finally emphasized what the show was about in their finale episode:

Arthur does not mention Gwen once in his dying moments what so ever.

2. The Arwen romantic theme plays between Arthur and Merlin. The musical score is shot from Arthurs perspective showing Arthur falling in love with Merlin. LISTEN CAREFULLY

3. And the final clue to the puzzle, Julian called the final episode a love story between 2 men.

Mind you, I’m not saying Arthur didn’t love Gwen and vice versa. They did, but their marriage just wasn’t working as it should have. Give the show creators some credit for drastically reinterpreting the Gwen-Lancelot-Arthur triangle into a Merlin-Arthur-Gwen plot point.

Gwen certainly deserved better than this, so I’m glad sir Leon will be there for her. 

From Season 5 Episode 13 Commentary:

Katie: But she has Sir Leon, why would she need -

Julian Murphy: See, that’s another undercurrent in Merlin. Isn’t it? Sir Leon. Him and Gwen.

And some people like to say that Julian was joking and his words don’t count as a confirmation (And why is that, exactly?), but I disagree. Because Leon is heavily hinted to have feelings for Gwen in the show itself And there is this official promo photo. Mind you there is not a single photo of Gwen with any other knight for season 5 except Leon.

I think it totally counts as canon, because it would have been insensitive to show it explicitly in the show right after Arthur’s death. But still Leon was deliberately shown standing near Gwen and the throne in the last scene.

[seaweedbrain404]

fuck

okay here it goes

firstly let’s talk about the one women every single hp fan hates (and no i’m not talking about the author herself) dolores umbridge. hating her is valid honestly because we’ve all had that one teacher or some sort of authority figure who was just a massive asshole and for like no reason whatsoever other than to make your life miserable. she’s one of the only women we see in power in the hp series and she just abuses the hell out of it. she also has that confrontation with minnie mcgee (an absolute icon) which okay understandable but this is your first example of women being pitted against each other

now, cho? well, you’ve got harry giving out that cho is crying. look, harry i love but man, mate, my boy, this isn’t a good look on you. her boyfriend JUST died and she’s viewed as whiny and annoying for GRIEVING!!! that’s just no.

then you’ve got fleur who i adore with all my heart but the leading ladies all seem to despise for no reason- okay she’s like a quarter veela but that’s not something she can control. then they give her that awful nickname and you’d think that since they’ve been bullied or looked down on for things they can’t control (hermione for being muggleborn and ginny for being a weasley and poor? ig?) that they’d have at least a little more empathy

there is so much to unpack with lavender holy fucking shit. she gets ridiculed for being a teenage girl with a crush. then there’s that whole bit in the hospital wing where her and hermione have a go at each other and oh, look we’re pitting women against each other again wow how very not feminist of you jkr

what do these characters all have in common? oh they’re all “feminine” or at least more stereotypically feminine than the bookish hermione and ginny the jock weasely. so we’re being thought that girly = bad which i don’t know that’s really dodgy jkr fuck you

molly isn’t actually a wonderful mother. i’m sorry!! she’s not. are any of her kids actually happy?? you’ve got bill who gets shit for marrying fleur, charlie who gets shit for not getting married and being interested in dragon rather than women (aro/ace king), percy who is under so much pressure to succeed and is constantly bullied by his YOUNGER siblings like that’s just embarrassing dude, fred and george who she constantly dismisses for showing interests that aren’t strictly academic and wanting to open up their own business, you’ve got ron who is so insecure and feels like he’ll never live up to his brothers and then finally ginny who- well, i think ginny’s okay but you could argue that since she wasn’t really the daughter molly wanted and oh, she treated hermione like absolute shite over a rumour in a magazine when she was 14. that got kind of derailed i’m sorry lol

i’m pretty sure we all found rita skeeter really fucking annoying and she runs a gossip column in the daily prophet or whatever but guess what? i’m pretty sure, she’s the only reporter that we know by name and y’know gossiping and women... i think you get what i’m trying to say

parvati and padma were done so dirty istg. i kind of got the vibe of them being led on by harry and ron when they asked them out to the yule ball. not fun

i genuinely forgot pansy even existed and i think that speaks for itself

i obviously have to discuss hermione and ginny because technically they don’t fit the stereotypical female character of the time but fuck, they couldn’t be any more “i’m not like other girls” if they tried and i think that’s all i’ve got to say for them

okay but jkr put no effort into her female characters.

hermione was probably the one she put the most effort into i suppose? like okay. hermione is the one female character that has a lot of depth to her. but through the series we can see harry and ron changing and growing but with her its just like bam one day she is Pretty and Not A Nerd anymore

luna, one of my favorite characters, has like one personality trait and that is being a weirdo

ginny. i love her, but when i say i love ginny i mean that i love fandom ginny. jkr's ginny is so b l a n d. also its so stupid bc shes like "yes i have a crush on harry potter from a young age and then i grow up and marry him and have kids with him" like bestie what

cho... oh boy. she is only there for the romantic interest of the boys. she revolves around boys. shes sad about cedric dying but she loves harry but she feels guitly and she is only there for that. its so fucking stupid and she could have had so much more potential than that but after she served her use with harry and cedric and stuff she just poofs away like shes mentioned like twice after that??

tonks HAD SO MUCH FUCKING POTENTIALLLLLL like she was so GOOD when we first met her she was badass and fucking awesome and genderfluid as fuck she is not fucking cis but thats a post for another day!!! and then fucking jkr was like no <3 you are going to marry your dead cousin's 'best friend' who he was queer coded with and you will marry him and have a kid with him also he was a teenager when you were born also you will both die at the end. like what the FUCK was that jkr

molly... molly is actually kinda nice!! and then i remember that she would tell people that "she's nonbinary so she uses they/them pronouns". like molly is the queen of the liberal mothers. like shes a good mother and caring and stuff but also her only personality trait is that she's a mom. like idk theres a lot i wanna say on her that i cant quite articulate right now so maybe ill add onto this later when i can

all of the background female characters, fleur, lavender, pansy, parvati, padma... they all centered around having male love interests. fleur was awesome during the triwizard tournamant and then jkr was like go marry bill. pansy was draco's love intrest. parvati and padma came into play during the ball bc they liked harry and ron.

idk man there just seems to be a pattern here with the female characters

maybe this is just because i havent read the books in over a year. but this is just something i felt the need to get out

[cookie-sheet-toboggan]

As an aro/ace-spec lesbian I often get annoyed at the lesbian headcanon erasure in fandom. My queer identity gives me experience of what it's like to be both aro/ace and a lesbian, and I absolutely think that Elsa shows signs of being a lesbian... maybe she could be aro/ace-spec but I do not see her as full aro/ace at all. "Conceal, Don't feel, Don't let them know. Make one wrong move and everyone will know." This is not the aro/ace experience, it's the gay one.

I also have to agree that Merida fits into an aro/ace headcanon way better.

Now, as aces we truly do have so little representation, but the lesbian coded characters are not where we should be looking for this representation. I'm personally very cool with an aro/ace-spec lesbian headcanon, but it's important to keep 'lesbian' in the headcanon (or at the very least, respect the lesbian headcanon) because fandom is so quick to dismiss lesbian-coded characters and call them queer-coded in its stead. Lesbians have specific experiences, and not all queer people share them.

And literally fuck off to all the homophobes that aren't even aro and/or ace who are advocating for aro/ace Elsa because they don't want her to be gay. I see you, assholes!

Anyway... headcanons will always be personal, I get this, so you really can headcanon characters as whatever you want, it's just we lesbians would like to be heard when we explain why a certain character is exhibiting lesbian behaviour, not just overall queer behaviour, but specifically lesbian behaviour, and we'd like people to listen and respect our experience enough to support us. It's really that simple.

sidenote: I post a lot about my favourite bi headcanons and they often get quite a bit of attention and have next to no push back (except from homophobic straight ppl of course) but the odd time I post about my lesbian headcanons it never gets the amount of attention and yet will almost always get a comment in the spirit of "she should be bi tho".

The reason why I bring this up is just to demonstrate how quick people are to dismiss and not support lesbian headcanons, or at least, not to the degrees of other headcanons (ace and trans not included. ppl are horrible to those headcanons too)

I think we all need to keep an eye out in our own communities and see who in them are opposing which headcanons and why, and if we see something that comes across as intended erasure, we should call it out.

Okay sorry I just saw a few posts and it got me really… upset. The fact that people always use ace/bi excuses all the time even if we can all bet theyre straight? Like, a girl ends in a wlw relationship? “she may be bi gee stop bi erasure”, a girl isnt interested in a guy ? “she may be asexual thatd be better than a lesbian” and while a few are genuine (especially the asexual ones) it just… can you not do this to lesbians? Cause I swear to god this is always done to wlw:  take for example the reason im writing this, a few people commented on Elsa with “I hope she wont be a lesbian shes better ace rep” and like, ace Elsa is 10/10, but a lot of people hc her as a lesbian and even took some context and identified with her (Im not that much of a Frozen fan, but I know we all know about people who talk about how “let it go” could be about her sexuality all that). 

And this wouldnt be bad if there wouldnt exist Brave. Seriously, she has no love interest, her parents want to marry her and all that but she doesnt wanna, and Im pretty sure that ace people would agree that she has some heavy ace feels, yet NOBODY talks about her, about that, about how she’d be great rep, I checked this fella’s profile and theyre not even that big of a disney fan, yet there they were.

Im sorry if this seemed rude towards asexuals, this wasnt the intention, my intention was to talk about how people use bisexuality and asexuality as an excuse behind their lesbophobia, and I would totally love ace Elsa (of course Id love lesbian Elsa more, but lets be honest ace Elsa would be so badass), but to take the only princess that has a chance of being a lesbian and insist itd be better rep to make her ace, instead of taking a princess that actually has asexual context, is just shitty. (And no, if you see Elsa as ace youre not bad or anything, but if you say that Elsa would be way better rep than lesbian Elsa then please take a look at yourself)

[this-is-me-lolol]

ah yes, the support

Yeah, hi, so,

I have a better idea:

✨Let aroace characters be aroace✨ challenge 2024 [impossible]

[awesomestarfighter]

#why aren't aroace characters enough? #it's fucking annoying having aro and ace characters dismissed #because you'd rather have a DIFFERENT sexuality #and just use the aroace characters as a way to boost the other sexuality

Yeah, hi, so,

I have a better idea:

✨Let aroace characters be aroace✨ challenge 2024 [impossible]