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azmixe-tonka · 4 years ago

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𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕨𝕒𝕧𝕖//𝕕.𝕞

Draco Malfoy

Soulmate one-shot where everyone gets their soulmate's first words to them branded on their skin on their fifteenth birthday.

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: angst, fluff at the end

MASTERLIST

-Ⰶ

What the bloody fuck is wrong with your face?

That was what was written on your blemish-free forearm, available for the whole world to see.

You groaned for the tenth time that day, face flushing pink. No matter how many times you had tried to scribble over the newly formed words with a Spell-O-Pen, the black ink always seemed to vanish when you weren’t looking, seemingly absorbed into the flawless calligraphy taunting you.

What a brilliant start to your 15th birthday.

Your best friend, Ron Weasley, shared your birthday and received his soulmate mark. He started cackling when he saw yours, the wording sending him into stitches. Unimpressed, you pointed out that his tattoo wasn’t located anywhere to the common eye, like the usual forearm marks.

And naturally, Ron panicked, claiming that he would be alone forever. Until you spotted words, scrawled in neat print on his armpit, spelling, And, you are?

That was how you and Ron found yourselves in thick jumpers in the middle of summer, managing to almost pass out during Snape’s lecture because of the heat.

As Snape’s monotone droned on, you began to not only feel unaccomplished but also bored out of your mind, and it was difficult to feel anything other than the scorching heat of your Gryffindor jumper. A slow migraine was starting to develop, and Ron didn’t seem to be having any better luck, with a sopping wet brow line and his pale skin matching his flaming ginger hair.

Yeah, it probably wasn’t the greatest idea in the world.

As you sat there, counting the agonizingly slow minutes until release, an impatient finger tapped your shoulder. You knew it was Ron, but the unbearable amount of stress and heat on your shoulders caused you to ignore your best friend’s hand. You tried to focus on any little thing, the way Hermione’s curls bounced when she scratched on parchment with her quill, or how Harry’s eyebrow twitched when he sneezed as he carelessly sniffed the lacewing powder.

The finger was still discreetly tapping your knee at an incessant pace, and you began to get quite irritated. Couldn’t he get the hint? How was he so unfazed about it?

“[y/n]. I need to itch my belly button.” Oh for goodness sake!

“Hush up, Ronald! Just focus on your work or something.”

A pause. The constant tapping resumed, as if Ron didn’t realize he was doing it and was on autopilot, moving his smaller appendage like the beating of his heart. “I knew we shouldn’t have done something like this. This is all your fault, [y/n]!”

You look up at his strained face incredulously, forgetting about Snape’s lecture. Ron was tapping at your leg forcefully now, and you had quite enough. Pushing him away by his face, you sneered, “This was your idea, Ronald, and a bloody terrible one at that!” you were enraged, how could he blame you on something that was his fault? “Because of you, we are sitting here burning-” your voice was rising incrementally higher, anger at everything; your situation, your bloody soulmate mark, Ron’s impudence, was fueling your words.

Ron’s face was slack, and slowly morphed into a panicked expression. His impossibly red face turned redder still, until he looked like a ripe cherry from a muggle farmer’s market. The bucket load of sweat slipped onto his face from stress wasn’t helping his situation either, and he constantly reached up to swipe the runny liquid from his face with his damned jumper.

You weren’t finished, fists clenched and shaking at your sides. Your anger was completely unreasonable, but the embarrassment of receiving a soulmate mark such as that, of your soulmate berating your face, made you livid. “And I am so sick of-”

“[l/n]!”

Snape towered over the both of you, his beady black eyes searing into your skull. His disapproving frown was etched onto his face, and you gulped, previous anger forgotten. Ron released a barely perceptible sigh of relief that you didn’t hear. You must have not realized Snape was even there, your rage-filled rant attracting the unwanted attention of the other students in the class as they watched you in confusion.

A pregnant pause ensued. You held your breath, hoping the punishment wouldn’t be too painful.

“Fifty points from Gryffindor.” A collective sigh of annoyance arose from the scarlet-clad members of the potions class, as Snape snapped his hands across Ron’s head. If you weren’t put in such a position, you would have laughed. Now you just felt like crumbling to the floor in a heap and bawling your eyes out.

He looked at you again, in confusion this time. “And remove your jumpers, both of you. I don’t want your performance in this class hindered by distracting clothing.”

Your eyes widened. No. No you wouldn’t.

If you removed your accursed crimson jumper, everyone would see your mark. You clenched your fists. This was unreasonable in more ways than one. You’d be known, not as [y/n], the best Gryffindor keeper of your age, but [y/n] the girl unworthy of her own soulmate. A few tears sprang up from your eyes.

Before you knew what you were doing, you sprang up from your desk and stormed out the door, not wanting to spend another moment in the classroom. You ignored Hermione and Ron’s calls, charging into the nearest girls’ lavatories.

You finally let your tears flow, hiding from nobody in the corner of the damp room. You covered your face with your fully clothed arm, not daring to remove the offending cloth to relieve your own body temperature. You would do anything to not see your mark of shame gazing up at you, and you had the uncontrollably odd urge to rip your own skin off.

What kind of person were you, that your own soulmate hated you? You felt pathetic beyond belief, and the thought alone caused you to sob harder. You felt your sweat roll down your chest, a tiny feeling of relief. At least you were out of the sweltering room.

A new anger settled itself in your heart. Something full of self loathing, self hate. Grappling with your tie, you managed to yank it off from underneath your jumper. Throwing it to the ground, you sat dejectedly on the linoleum tiles and cupped your face in your hands.

You were angry at yourself. How could you be so… so ugly that the person you were meant to spend your life with hated your fucking face? The urge grew stronger, and you had the morbid curiosity to claw your face off. At least your soulmate would have a reason to question your appearance then.

Peering up, you looked into the mirror. Mascara tracks slithered down your face like an eroded waterfall, and your hair stuck together, sweat clumping it up. Rubbing your face tiredly, you managed to smudge your eyeliner and strawberry lip gloss. You looked deranged, like you had broken out of an asylum you were imprisoned in for two decades.

The flash or rage came again as you let out a roar of frustration, hands slamming into the sink. The force of your upper body cracked the ceramic, slightly but still noticeable. The sink was crumbling, its old age not doing anything to help its mortality. Splinters of the white material were stuck in your hand, but you didn’t notice. All you saw was your face, and how the reflection of yourself glared into the mirror, as if you could wipe the pain and imperfections from your face.

And it wasn’t even your time of the month.

A squeak of a door from behind you shocked you out of your stupor. Whirling around, you saw a boy with straight platinum blond hair and startling blue-gray eyes. He was about a foot taller than you, and he looked annoyed, eyebrows furrowed as he gazed at your small profile shaking beside the sink.

It was Draco Malfoy.

The boy who had tormented your other three friends, who warned you to stay away from him. He was exactly as they described him, pale, aristocratic, his dark robes contrasting perfectly with his complexion. The green Slytherin emblem was stitched on his robes, and you felt confused by the mere sight of him.

He started forward, pushing past the door. There seemed to be nobody from behind him. He completely disregarded the girl’s bathroom sign and strode towards you, causing you to stumble back in fright.

“What the bloody fuck is wrong with your face?”

Pure white-hot anger shot into your system, making you forget your situation. Rude. “I could say the same about you, you albino mongoose!” You shrieked, moving to shove him away.

As you lunged forward, Malfoy caught your wrists. You gave a startled gasp, the momentum of your shove having thrown you into him. As he steadied you, you looked at your hands.

They were bloody, the pieces of ceramic from the sink having been lodged painfully in your joints. You winced as he scooped up your hands again with a tenderness that you hadn’t felt in a while, not even from Ron.

His long, pale fingers were almost translucent, and you found yourself frowning at them in curiosity. They seemed to be ghostlike, ethereal, a glowing undertone of mother-of-pearl under the masterfully-placed veins. His grip was gentle, as he slipped his grip from your wrists to your tiny fingers.

“No, I meant,” he stroked your palms with his thumb, a strangely intimate move for someone he just met. Besides being fascinated by the boy in front of you, you were weirded out immensely. “Why are you crying?”

You stared up into his stormy eyes. They softened, and he led you towards where your tie was laying, thrown to the ground by your antics. Realizing he wasn’t going to get an answer, he picked it up with his nimble fingers before sitting you down.

Pressing a thumb to his soft lips, his pink tongue darted out to lubricate it. You watched in fascination as he near painlessly removed the shards from your mangled hands. He was skilled, you could tell, his hands dancing across yours to relieve you of your pain. You briefly wondered why a boy as rich as him learned how to heal.

Reaching out with his finger coated in saliva, you winced loudly as he smeared it over the biggest wound on your thumb web. You hissed in a breath, watching as his eyes flicked up to meet yours for a dreadfully long second. His handsome face was set, as he seemed to ask for permission from you.

You gave him a barely perceptible nod. He smiled back. A lovely, caring smile that made your heart thump painfully in your chest.

He then pulled out his wand, a beautifully polished hawthorn one with two rings encircling the bottom. Running it over the wounds, he whispered, “Episkey.” You watched, mesmerized, as the skin seemed to see itself up painlessly, stitching itself together until the aching in your hand disappeared. You were stunned.

“How...” You mumbled, your eyes cautiously scanning your hands for other spots. Malfoy’s spit had vanished too, numbing your thumb web.

“I’m training to be a healer at St. Mungo’s.” You looked up to see Malfoy watching you carefully, kneading out your expression with a soft gaze. Why was everything pertaining to you soft?

“I...see. Thank you.” You seemed to have gained control of your voice. Malfoy smiled.

Then leaned closer.

And closer.

Your breathing seemed to have halted in your chest. His breaths were shallow, smelling of apples and mint, a strangely pleasing combination. Instead of the expected pungency of cologne, you were struck with the soft smell of teakwood and pine, an earthy aroma that made you backtrack a bit.

He seemed to hesitate. Then reaching down, he tugged at the end of your jumper, pulling it up.

Oh. Oh no.

“No!” You exclaimed, snapping your newly healed hands to his, halting his movements. You involuntarily ran her fingers over his veins, and shivered. You were reminded of the entire situation in the first place, how you ran out of Snape’s class, had a bawling fest, and…

Met him. You met him.

Of all the days in your life, you had never met someone who struck a chord in you so profoundly after minutes of meeting them. Your body had seemed to memorize him, a strange connection like moths to flames ignited within you.

You looked back up at him shamefully, and found him smiling in amusement. His fingers slipped from yours and pressed against your hot forehead, startling you. Everything he did startled you. His touch was like static on metal to you, his presence was like hot chocolate and warm blankets on a winter day.

And you had just met him. This boy was affecting you like nobody had ever affected you before. Your emotions ran high, and you started trembling when his hands held either side of your face. As if both of you had done this before. Thousand times before. Like it was rehearsed.

He tilted your head, so your eyes met his. A blizzard, a tundra, swirled through his greys. While most saw bleak blue, you saw a paradise in his eyes. The color of steel, reminding you of so much stability. His euphoric eyes gazed at you with something you could only describe as adoration.

“I’m not ashamed, so don’t be.” His words were soft, gentle, like the breeze on a pleasantly chilly day. It took a moment for you to realize he said something, so you tilted your head.

“What?”

“Don’t be ashamed.”

Tilting his head to the left, your breath caught when messy handwriting- your handwriting- was scrawled onto his pale neck. Lifting a shaky hand, you placed it on his sculpted cheek. He released a soft sigh of relaxation, turning his neck further for you to see the tattoo.

I could say the same about you, you albino mongoose!

Wait.

Without wasting another minute, you seized the ends of your jumper and pulled it over your head. The fresh air welcomed you, as you sighed in bliss, throwing your jumper to the side to join your tie. Holding your tattooed arm out for your soulmate- it was so strange to say, soulmate- and watched as his eyes widened impossibly, pure happiness filling his oceans.

He cupped your face, hurriedly pressing his lips to your forehead, cheeks, and nose, peppering sweet packages of love to you, his quest to find his other half complete. His lips felt so right, as if you two had done this a million times. Both your laughters filled the small lavatory, your small arms wrapping around his waist as he nuzzled his face into your soft locks.

“[y/n]...” he whispered, your foreheads pressed together, and your heart almost burst, because nobody in the whole wide world could say your name as beautifully as him, and he was sure he felt the same when you replied, “Draco.” A confirmation. And you could stay with your Draco forever, you knew that, you wouldn’t leave for anything, because you love him, you love him, you love hi-

“[y/n]! My belly button still needs itching!”

You groaned. It would be a long day.

#fluff fanfiction #angst fanfiction #draco malfoy #draco #malfoy #dm #hbp #ootp #gof #poa #draco x reader #draco x you #draco x y/n #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy fanfiction

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yoooori · 4 years ago

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Untraditional Loss

mark smut

tw: sex, loss of virginity, smut, heterosexual sex, the act of a man inserting his penis into a woman

"19 and still a virgin... ah, how's life a virgin?" Haechan sighed mockingly, throwing a popcorn at you. You whined. "19 is still young; You're just stupid."

Haechan stuck out his tongue. "Don't say that. At least I got my position without daddy's help."

"You aren't even supposed to be eating here."

"Okay, daddy's daughter."

That set you off. You stood up, walked in front of Haechan, and started pushing his wheeled-chair towards the door of the office.

"I didn't choose to get this position!" you yelled before you tipped over his chair, sending him flying onto the ground, barely saved by his reflexes.

You turned your head around and stuck your tongue at Haechan as he grumbled behind you. "You're rude." he commented as you two got in an elevator.

"So are you, so I think we're even."

Haechan bit his lip, clearly trying to stop himself from talking back.

You turned on your phone, scrolling through pictures of Instagram models.

"Doesn't it get boring?"

You turned around. "What?" you asked.

"Doesn't it get boring," Haechan shrugged. "Watching pretty girls sit around and show ass during your free time?"

You failed to conceal a laughter. "Nah, I watch them for different reasons other than to see them 'show ass'" you gave him a mocking smile.

Ding.

You got off the elevator, stumbling over your high heels (which you never liked). Finally, your working hours were over. You never liked offices, but were inevitably forced into the business world by your father.

You said a quick 'thank you' to the receptionist, nearly falling on your stomach as you rushed to get into your car- or freedom.

Turning on the engine hastily, you drove your way to your favorite spot on Earth: the bar.

You never drank. Wine tasted expensively shitty. Beer tasted strong and yet bland. Normal alcohol just didn't sit right with your tongue.

Instead, you had your eyes on one thing on the menu: mouth-watering crispy french fries that dominated your taste buds.

You soon found yourself in the bar, enjoying a medium bowl of fries. You scrolled through Instagram again, disappointed with yourself.

Your mind wandered to your conversation with Haechan.

"Doesn't it get boring? Watching pretty girls sit around and show ass during your free time?"

"Nah, I watch them for different reasons other than to see them 'show ass'"

You laughed to yourself as you liked another selfie from a popular korean uzzlang. You had lied.

You found the concept simple. They were pretty; you were not. They had the perfect body; you did not. Their face were perfect; yours' wasn't.

You felt your eyes darken.

As simple as the concept was, you never liked to accept it.

"Hello?"

You turned around to meet a man in his mid 20's. "Can I sit here?" he gestured at the seat next to you. You scanned the area quickly. There were no other available seats. You shrugged. "Why not?"

He gave you a tired smile before plopping himself on the chair. He waved to the bartender. "The usual, please."

Your eyes widened as the bartender brought him a cup and 2 full bottles of alcohol.

Before the stranger could take a sip, you stopped him.

"That's way too much."

He raised his eyebrow, amused. "What, you want some?"

You shook your head. "I don't drink, but seriously, that is way too much to be healthy."

He chuckled darkly.

"Why do you care?"

You scoffed at him. "Just don't." you said and offered him a fry. Amused, he took the fry and ate it. You stared at him, with expecting eyes.

His eyes met yours. "Mm? Tastes good." he said in response to your look.

You smiled, satisfied. "You can have mine. I ordered too much."

"How do I know you didn't spike it without me looking?"

In response, you made direct eye contact with the stranger. You took a large handful of fries and stuffed them into your mouth, all while maintaining the eye contact.

He laughed. "After seeing that, I doubt I want to eat any of those fries."

"You're mean," you huffed. "Just like Haechan."

His eyes widened. "You know Haechan?"

Your eyes widened too. "You do too?"

He stared at you for a second before bursting into laughter. "Ah, if you know Haechan, you must be the famous 19 year-old virgin."

You looked away, embarrassed. "Damn, I'm really known for that?" you groaned, covering your face with your hands.

"It's not exactly a bad thing," he shrugged. "Lots of men would want to sleep with you."

You narrowed your eyes, suddenly having a quesion.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Mark."

You fumbled your hands, suddenly turning red. "Mark... You said a lot of guys want to sleep with me?"

Mark nodded. "Mhm."

"....Does that include you?"

He nearly spat out the fry he had took from your plate. Quickly maintaining composure, he couldn't help but look away sheepishly. "At some point, maybe."

"How about now?"

"Why are you asking me that?"

You groaned, embarrassed. "I don't want to be known as a virgin. Seriously..."

Mark laughed. "You'd rather lose it with me? You barely know me."

"That's why I want to lose it with you."

Mark stopped laughing.

"I... I don't want to make things weird if I lose it with my friends. But you- it'll just be much easier." you sputtered.

Mark got up. "Never had a hookup like this, but sure. My place?"

You nodded, suddenly wondering if you're going to regret your decision.

Mark's place was surprisingly.... Suprising.

"You watch Cocomelon?" you snorted, looking at a 3D printed figure of the familiar melon. He swiped it away. "I used to love collecting anything watermelon related." he quickly explained.

you were brought into his bedroom, feeling as un-needy as a person could be. mark sighed. "damn, we both aren't feeling it, huh?"

"we can play minecraft." you suggested.

mark shook his head. "nah, come here. lemme kiss you."

your eyes widened and you burst out laughing. "okay, okay," you snorted, feeling Mark's lips brush against your neck. you gasped unexpectedly as you felt Mark squeeze your waist.

"mm? where did all the lightheartedness go?" Mark hummed, his hands roaming your body. His finger skillfully undid your bra, your breaths shortened by the nervousness and excitement you felt.

Mark smiled to himself, wrapping his arms around your body gently. "I'll be gentle, okay?"

You nodded in response, slightly calmer. Mark lightly pushed you onto the bed, on your back. He went on top of you, classic missionary position.

Your eyes fluttered as you felt Mark's soft lips against your body, gasping a little when you felt his hands working off your skirt. When he got up to look at your face, he moved your skirt to the floor.

"Cute." Mark chuckled, looking at your bear print panties. You looked away, embarrassed. Mark gave a small kiss to the area above your panties as he took them off for you.

"Want to help me to take of my clothes? Experience?" Mark offered, now sitting down. You got on your knees and began to take off his blazer, and then undoing his shirt buttons one by one. You kept your eyes on his neck, too flustered to see his bare chest.

Mark noticed this. Chuckling in a deeper voice, his softly grabbed your shoulders and pulled you back. "You can look, don't worry about looking respectfully now." he whispered.

You did and gasped, your head finding its spot against Mark's neck in a second. Mark laughed at your response. "I'll take off my other clothes for you." he said.

He took off his pants, and then his underwear. Your eyes were glued to a pillow, embarrassed.

"Don't be scared," he whispered to you, pulling you in for a kiss. His tongue and yours interacted against each other, seemingly dancing. "Touch me anywhere you want, baby. Tonight's your night."

Your hands found its way to his abs and chest, feeling the toned muscles. You gasped against Mark's chest, embarrassed yet curious. Your hands went further down and down-

"Fuck," Mark sighed as your hand found itself around his cock.

"Had enough touching, baby?" he asked you, his lid half closed from the feeling of your hand around his cock.

You nodded, lying on your back.

Mark looked at your eyes softly, his lips connecting with yours. You pulled away from his, leaving a small gasp as you felt yourself being filled.

"S-s-stop-" you whispered as it started to hurt. Mark stayed as still as he can, struggling as your walls wrapped around his cock tightly. "O-okay, now you can go."

Mark went inch by inch, stopping when you requested, until he was fully inside you. You squirmed underneath him, feeling filled.

"I'll start moving." he whispered to you. Your eyes stared at him, begging him to kiss you. He bent his head lower, allowing you to kiss his face as you struggled to contain him. Mark started to rock his hips, his length going even deeper inside of you.

He groaned, centimeters away from your face. "Fuck." he moaned, instinctively finding his lips on yours. You whimpered against his lips. You didn't feel much pleasure, but did feel it coming.

You squirmed, lips still desperate to stay with Mark's as you felt the famous pleasure start to sink into you. "Mark" you whispered into the kiss. "Feels good."

"Mm? Good girl, it'll feel much better later." Mark groaned back, restraining himself from rocking his hips faster.

He was right. You grabbed the bedsheets, whimpering as the feeling grew bigger and bigger.

The air was hot between you and Mark. The room was dim and you could barely make out the outline of Mark. The soft sounds of skin slapping were the background noises to you and mark's moans.

You wrapped your arms around Mark, gasping as you felt his cock moving in and out of you. "So-so full-" you gasped. Mark gritted his teeth and hissed in response.

"Li-Like that!" you suddenly let out when you felt Mark's cock brush against a sensitive spot. Mark increased his pace, hitting the spot as many times as he could, sending you into a breathing mess.

You gasped and gasped, feeling your chest rise up and down as you could barely see from the lack of light and the blinding pleasure. "Something's coming." you whimpered against Mark, rocking your hips too to meet his. "Let it go, baby." he whispered back.

You felt the feeling grow like a wave, getting bigger and bigger until-

"Mark"

It was pleasure like you never knew it. The feeling of a giant wave crashing onto you, your legs shaking and your back arching. "Mmm!" you could let out helplessly as you felt pleasure overtake you.

It stopped, leaving you panting and out of breath.

Mark pulled out. You knew what to do- you had an idea, at least. You let him insert his cock into your mouth and sucked on it. He sighed at the feeling, soon letting out a stream of a white milky liquid into your mouth.

You lied down, panting. Mark collapsed next to you on the bed. Mark spooned you, hugging you from behind. You two were too tired to exchange words, falling asleep as soon as his arms were wrapped around your body.

You woke up the next day, groggy. Mark was awake, scrolling through his phone next to you. Seeing that you are awake, he smiled.

"Mind if I get your number?"

#nct angst #nct smut #nct au #nct imagines #nct x reader #nct mark smut #nct mark #nct 127 #nct dream #superm mark #superm smut

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theherothechampiontheinquisitor · 4 years ago

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Pepperony Gift Exchange

Title: Like It Never Happened Pairing: Pepperony Word Count: Almost 13k TW: Implied/referenced Alcohol Abuse Rating: G Summary: When Tony and Pepper get stranded alone in Colorado after a long (mostly) working weekend they learn more about the other in one night than in the five years they spent working together. Not only that but they discover there may be the possibility for more for them in the future. What started as the weekend from hell blossoms into something unexpected and life changing. OR There was only one bed. - "Hey, Pepper. Want to make out?" Notes: I wrote this for the Pepperony Valentine's Gift Exchange via @dailypepperony for @river-bottom-nightmare. I am so sorry that this is so late. Life has kicked my butt this last month but I hope the nearly 13k in content is a good apology. I had a lot of fun with this one even as it grew from just a funny little idea into something with actual plot. I hope that you enjoy it!! Sorry again for the wait. <3

Read it on AO3 Here

They were supposed to have gone back to Malibu on Thursday night after the conference. Instead, here Pepper was on Saturday night, trekking through one of the worst blizzards in Colorado history because her boss just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to take a mini vacation and go snowboarding with a gaggle of busty sycophants.

She’d been working for Tony Stark for almost five years now, so she wasn’t sure why she was still sometimes so surprised by his need to go off script and wildly alter all of their plans, but at least when he did they were normally in California where it was warm and sunny, not this frozen tundra.

She almost left without him, sure he would never notice or care she was gone but even though she and Tony had a good back and forth relationship, she had less of one with the CTO, Obadiah Stane and knew that Obadiah would be less thrilled if she left the wild child CEO on his own to get into trouble.

By the time that she had been able to finally convince Tony that they needed to leave and then to check out from their hotel and make it to the airport, the storm was already in full effect and all planes had been grounded, even for America’s premier billionaire weapons developer. So, they had to turn around. Or they would have if they could have made it past the airport parking lot but the snow was falling so heavily that their driver wouldn’t even attempt it, and he was a Colorado native.

This left Pepper with the unique challenge of now finding lodging nearby because she would be damned if she was going to sleep inside the airport. There were several hotels and motels that were airport adjacent at least, so now she was mostly left with the issue of them all being fully booked by other stranded flyers.

The concierge at their latest chain hotel was being very polite and understanding of their dilemma, however there was only so much they could do and apparently the Stark name meant nothing in the midst of a blizzard.

Pepper pinched the bridge of her nose and then massaged her aching forehead as she parsed through her options, not that there really were any. It was almost midnight, she was tired, had been working all day when she wasn’t corralling Tony. This hotel would have to do. Tony only had himself to blame if the room wasn’t up to snuff.

Speaking of which…

She turned around from the front desk, eyes scanning the mostly empty lobby until they zeroed in on her boss, leaning against the wall talking to another guest, female of course, with a wolfish smile on his face.

Bleh.

“Mr. Stark?” she called out across the room to him, a fake pleasant smile plastered to her face and a thin veneer of exasperation lacing her words.

“Yes, dear?” He responded automatically without so much as even a backward glance.

Breathe, Potts, breathe.

“I think we are just about set up over here, just need your signature as always,” she replied, proud at how in check her temper was at the moment.

For a moment she thought she’d have to physically remove him from his conversation until a tall, buff looking guy came in the door carrying several suitcases, dropping them at the feet of the woman Tony was talking to, and he did not look pleased. Tony quickly gave a wink and a smile before he strategically retreated.

“You got it all figured out, huh?” he asked, as he made his way to the desk.

“I always do.”

He smiled genuinely at that and she felt just the slightest bit of her anger melting away and instead the butterflies she’d sometimes get in her stomach stirred to life instead. It was ridiculous really how nice of a smile her boss had, so she was allowed to be a little weak internally. From the looks of the young concierge, she would seem to agree, as well.

Tony reached across the front desk to grab a pen, and Pepper slid the forms over to Tony. Technically, her job did give her the power to sign for him but early on she had deemed it entirely necessary to make him put forth at least the bare minimum of effort, especially when situations like this would arise and it was all his fault.

Tony signed his name with a flourish, only the ‘T’ and ‘S’ distinguishable on the line. As he did the lights in the lobby flickered.

“What’s up with that?”

The concierge kept a smile on her face as she took the information from them. “The blizzard might be causing an issue with the power. We have emergency lights and fireplaces in each of the suites in case it were to go out.”

Tony raised a brow and looked sideways to Pepper. She raised her hands in mock defense.

“We wouldn’t even still be in this state if you weren’t pursuing your...extracurriculars.”

“Pepper, I’m insulted.”

“No you’re not.”

“No I’m not,” he agreed with another one of those smiles that made those butterflies start fluttering again...until he turned his head back to the concierge, his hair flopping to the side. “So, what time do you get off work?”

Tony definitely knew how to clip those butterfly wings in a single instance.

“No, no. We have to share a room and this is definitely one of those things that is not in my contract to have to deal with.”

“Aw, Pep you’re no fun. Besides, I’m sure she has her own room,” he said winking at the girl who let loose a nervous giggle.

Oh puh-lease.

“Tony,” she finally stated in her no nonsense voice that cut through all of his bullshit.

He looked at her then, really looked at her she thought, and saw something, probably her extreme exhaustion and distaste for him at the moment and he straightened his stance from leaning against the desk and turned back.

“Do you at least have a bar around here or in the room?”

“They closed at nine.”

“What in the prohibition is wrong with this place?”

“I’m sure we could have something sent up for you?” The girl asked entirely unsure if that was even possible, Pepper was sure, though seemingly willing enough to risk her job to earn another grin from her boss.

Thankfully Tony spared her from much more flirting and they were finally handed their room keys and directed to the elevator down the hall. They were on the third floor with a view overlooking the mountains which the concierge promised was a sight to behold in the mornings. The only sight Pepper was looking forward to was the back of her eyelids.

She leaned heavily against the rail in the elevator and let her head flop back against the wall.

“You okay, Potts?”

“Nothing a good night of sleep won’t fix,” she mumbled automatically.

Tony shrugged and went back to looking at his phone but every now and then she could feel the weight of his stare on her, even with her eyes closed.

-------------------

“There must be some kind of a mistake…”

Pepper dropped her bag in the doorway even as Tony shuffled around her to see what the problem was.

The room was definitely much smaller than either of them was used to, and certainly a downgrade in quality but that was to be expected from a chain airport hotel. Still it wasn’t exactly a slum either. There was a mini kitchenette with a coffee pot and microwave on one end of the room, what he assumed was a door leading to a bathroom, and then at the opposite end was the fireplace that was boasted about, along with the balcony overlooking the mountains. A small desk and couch was also wedged up against the wall.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, finally coming up with nothing out of the ordinary, aside from the horrific beiges and generic prints lining the walls.

That must have been the wrong answer because Pepper turned to him with the most unamused face in her arsenal.

“There’s only one bed,” she finally pointed out. “This was supposed to be a double. I’m calling down to the front.”

Tony didn’t consider that the end of the world but apparently Pepper did, as she stormed over to the old looking phone and dialed down to the front. He just shrugged and entered the room more fully, dropping his bag in front of the wardrobe/tv stand combo and instantly went to get a better look of the view, occasional snatches of Pepper’s conversation drifting to his ears.

“...no you said there was a room available you did not say that it was a single…”

Tony would almost be insulted by how vehemently his assistant was fighting against the hotel staff if he didn’t already know that she fought equally hard in all of her endeavors. It was one of the many reasons that he had hired her on in the first place.

“Okay, so they don’t have any more rooms, it’s this or nothing,” Pepper finally said, slamming the receiver down.

Tony turned back to his exasperated assistant and just grinned at how flushed she was. “It’s not the end of the world, I’m sure we can manage.”

Pepper was still not amused or comforted. “Sure, you can say that because you are literally inhuman and can fall asleep anywhere, but I have been chasing you around for two days, while also keeping everything caught up with SI and it's cold and I’m tired. I don’t exactly relish sleeping on a couch after everything that has happened.”

Tony flinched and scrunched his face up. “Why would you sleep on the couch? C’mon we’re adults, it’s a big bed, there’s no reason that we can’t just share it. And if you’re cold, then I’ll get the fireplace going.”

Pepper paused and looked like she was considering his words, her eyes roaming over to the bed, probably calculating the amount of space that they would each have between their bodies. He could probably seal the deal if he could just keep his mouth shut for the next two minutes and swallow down the flirty retort on the tip of his tongue, alas though, he was Tony Stark and he had never been good at not saying what was on his mind.

“Besides, I have been trying to get you in bed with me for years.”

He could see the exact moment that the light left her eyes and all considerate notions of bed sharing were instantly quashed.

Oh, well. Maybe next time.

“Orrrrrrr,” he dragged the word out and at least had the decency to be mildly apologetic in tone and features for his joke, “I can sleep on the couch. I’ll still build you a fire though, cause I’m such a swell guy.”

Pepper rolled her eyes but he could see some of the tension drain from her shoulders and knew that he had made the right choice, chivalrous even. And to be honest, she really did deserve the very least of which he could give her in this instance. She was right, he could sleep anywhere. He had once fallen asleep standing up at his drafting board and Rhodey could probably write a book about all the weird places he had found him dozing while they were at MIT. Some of those naps might have been more alcohol or drug induced than by choice but the sentiment remained the same. And as Pepper so angrily stated, she had been running after him like his mother for the past few days. He’d make sure to give her a raise too. He liked to do that anytime he knew he had been particularly burdensome. Pepper got a lot of raises.

Pepper didn’t say anything else but she went back for her bag and rummaged through it for a bit, pulling out night clothes and toiletries before disappearing into the bathroom, so surely she had agreed to their new terms.

Tony wandered his way over to the fireplace and realized it was just an old electric thing. He turned a few knobs to get it going and by the time that Pepper had exited the bathroom, it was at least putting out a pleasant warmth and Tony had already mapped out ten different ways in his brain to improve the energy efficiency and output ratio. He liked finding new ways to fix old age problems. It was often a welcome relief from building the next big weapon, often saving him from his creative stifle.

“Check it out, Potts,” he said over his shoulder and then turned his head to face her from where he was crouched beside the fire. When he looked at Pepper though his brain may as well have shut down entirely.

He had seen Pepper in all manner of power suits and business attire. Had seen her on the rarer occasion in her ‘off the clock attire’ containing various jeans and t-shirts. However, he had yet to see her in any kind of nightwear, the past few days they had had separate rooms and any time she may have crashed at the mansion before that she was always hidden behind closed doors and in fresh clothing by the time he was pulled out of his bed.

Seeing her now...well it wasn’t quite what he would fantasize, no fantasies were just that and really there were no practical reasons to sleep in sheer lacy lingerie when one had no intentions of seduction, no this was right. This was very Pepper. Practical. Comfortable. Still surprisingly sexy?

She sensed his eyes on her as she stuffed her folded clothing back into her bag and slowly turned to him, her toothbrush still hanging out of one side of her mouth.

“What?”

“Nothing just you look…” he held his hands up as if lost for words and he kind of was at the moment. He felt that strange churn he’d sometimes get in the pit of his stomach when he would sometimes zone out in the middle of an all nighter and think about Pepper, really think about her, not just the curves and the pretty face, but all of her, and how he never smiled more than when he was with her. That feeling was back, gnawing at his gut as his eyes swiped over her one more time.

Pepper was instantly on the defensive. “They’re my winter pajamas. I never get to wear them in California, leave me alone,” she said, smoothing out any of the wrinkles of her pink flannel set.

“No, no, I didn’t mean anything bad about it. It’s just…” he started to correct, “very you. It’s cute,” he shrugged.

Pepper softened at the recognition of one of his real admissions, dropping her guard back down and allowing a smile to creep across her face. “Not the lace and silk you were hoping for, huh?” she teased him back and he knew they were good again.

“Nah, this is better,” he admitted to her again. It could have been the light from the fireplace or just her body warming from the cold, snowy night but he thought he saw a flush of pink spread across her cheeks and tinge the top of her ears. It was adorable.

A knock at the door broke the moment and Tony took it upon himself to answer. It was the hotel general manager, a tall, balding man in his forties with a bushy mustache. He apologized about the inconvenience over the room and the bar being closed but offered Tony a bottle of, “their best wine,” free of charge. Tony accepted it and the man scurried away like a mouse.

Tony turned the bottle in his hand, reading the label.

“We’re rolling in luxury now, Pep.”

“Oh yeah? Did they bump some poor couple from a double room?”

“I thought we already solved the bed issue?”

“We did, but I could still hope,” she shrugged, and went into the bathroom to spit and rinse her toothbrush out.

Tony knew no boundaries though so he followed behind her and leaned into the doorway as she went about removing the days make up. Now that he had seen Pepper without, so it didn’t phase him to watch.

“No, they did apologize though with their best red wine, vintage 2004. A whole year. We should be honored.”

“Not everyone in the world has exclusive access to their own family wineries in Italy, Tony,” she said, blotting at her face.

“Okay, I’m a snob,” he admitted. “You like wine, right Pepper? Let’s crack this bad boy open.”

“Tony,” she started in that tone that usually ended in a solid ‘no.’

“C’mon Potts, a quick nightcap. Live a little.”

“You live enough for the both of us.”

“That wasn’t a no,” he pointed at her and fled the room in search of cups before she did say no.

No glasses had been provided by Bill the general manager, nor the kitchenette, so Tony had to settle for the paper cups that were meant for the coffee pot. He’d just rinse his cup out when he was done and reuse it for the coffee in the morning. No big deal.

The wine wasn’t the type that needed a corkscrew, nor was it the type that he thought needed to breathe after being opened but he went ahead and waited a few moments anyways. It certainly couldn’t make it any worse...he hoped.

After further thought he flipped off the lights then glanced at the bed and pulled off the four fluffy pillows and sat them around the small fireplace, two of them he propped against the wall and leaned back against, the other two he left for Pepper to decide what to do with.

He then grabbed the wine and the two paper cups and poured himself a measure. It smelled just like your basic, cheap, supermarket wine, and after a taste he knew that he had definitely had worse in his life but that wasn’t exactly a ringing endorsement. Satisfied that they at least wouldn't be poisoned tonight, he filled his cup the rest of the way and then Pepper's and waited.

-------------------------------------

“What is this?” Pepper said, haltingly when she finally emerged from the bathroom makeup-less and ready for bed. She looked Tony up and down, the way he was sprawled out on the cheap carpet, propped up only by the wall and the bed pillows beside the warm fire with suspicion. It felt like a cheap seduction attempt.

Tony however never faltered. “It’s our nightcap,” he said with a grin and raised his paper cup. “It tastes like shit but I figured maybe some ambiance wouldn’t hurt.”

Pepper hesitated again. Tony had always been flirty and he knew better than to try anything further with her. She had made it very clear from day one exactly where he could go if he tried to treat her like a one night stand. He had surprisingly been very respectful of her boundaries, testing the limits on occasion, but he never made her feel uncomfortable or anything.

This whole situation though had been wearing her thin. The aggravation of what occurred and why mixed with the fact that there was a part of her that was singing in glee at being confined to a single bed room with her good looking, charming boss who despite all the bravado she had put forth about leaving her alone, she had still managed to harbor a crush on. Maybe even could develop genuine feelings for. This was neither the time or the place for those kinds of thoughts.

Tony sighed loudly and drew her attention back to him after she must have zoned out for a decent while. “C’mon, Potts. We can pretend this is a slumber party and exchange gossip and paint each other’s nails. If you’re really good we can even end with a pillow fight.”

“Is that what you think happens at slumber parties?” Pepper asked. She gave the bed a longing glance but Tony just looked so damn earnest, so she ultimately gave in and grabbed the two pillows Tony had left for her and fixed herself a spot a respectable distance away from him and plopped down on the pillows with a groan. It felt so good to finally be sitting down.

“I mean that’s the Hallmark version of what I think happens. My only other experience is with porn and I have a feeling that would be even less accurate,” he smiled cheekily.

Pepper rolled her eyes and accepted the Styrofoam cup from his outstretched hand, their fingers brushing against each other ever so slightly, sending a pleasant tingle up her arm. “I haven’t had nearly enough to drink for any of that kind of talk,” she said, taking a sip.

“Well, we do have this bottle all to ourselves…”

This time Pepper laughed a real laugh.

“It would take more than a bottle for either of us to be drunk. I’m pretty sure this is the same brand that my Mom used to buy when I was in high school and it’s pretty weak. Sometimes I’d still steal a drink or two when I was feeling particularly rebellious though.”

Tony gasped and clutched at his chest dramatically at the revelation. “You mean to tell me that the Pepper Potts was an underage drinker?! And here I thought your soul was completely pristine.”

Pepper snorted. “Please. Not that pristine,” she said, taking another drink.

“Ohhh. I am liking this darker side of you, Pep, I have to say. What else did you do? Shoplift bubblegum? Forget to tip your waiter?” he teased.

“I’m sorry my criminal history is not living up to your expectations. Not everyone grew up with a lawyer on retainer and parents that could bail them out.” As soon as the words left her mouth she gasped lightly and covered her mouth, her eyes wide as she looked to him for his reaction. “I’m sorry, I was just teasing, and that was unprofessional…”

It was an unspoken rule to not speak about Howard and Maria Stark literally ever, if one could help it. Sometimes it was unavoidable due to press members who thought they were clever comparing the son to his father or if it were related to Stark Industries business, but never as a joke.

Pepper didn’t know the full story why the subject was so touchy, she’d always just assumed it was due to the tragic nature of their loss. She knew that they had passed years back in an auto accident, Pepper had been a senior in high school, and could still remember the headlines splashed across her father’s newspaper for weeks with photos of the wreck or the elder Starks. There was just one photo of a young Tony that she could remember taken from the funeral. He was all alone and even in black and white she could see and feel the sadness and vulnerability that had been radiating off of him. It was the first time she was cognizant of who he was. Sometimes she could still see the hints of the sad, lonely boy in the man before her and it made her heart ache.

When she looked at Tony he didn’t seem offended at least but the sadness was there. His eyes grew a little more haunted and the smile on his face became a little more downturned but in the blink of an eye the smile was back, a little more cautious now, as he waved a hand at her and filled the cups back up.

“You’re fine,” he reassured her as he poured the wine, “I’m a snob and sometimes I forget how normal people live. And I’ll have you know that there were a couple of times when my parents were out of town that my Aunt Peggy let me cool my heels and sober up in the luxury of a jail cell overnight.”

“Is this Peggy Carter?” Pepper figured she was safe to ask about since she was still alive and well and she knew they were still in contact. She’d seen her flowing script occasionally on the mail she would bring to Tony and had always been a little curious. The woman was an icon.

“It is. You been checking up on me?,” he said, a genuine smile taking over his face again. She loved those smiles.

“It is part of my job,” she shrugged.

“I'm surprised you two haven’t met before, compared Tony-wrangling notes. I’m sure she could provide you plenty of pointers. On second thought--scratch that. Maybe you should never meet,” he laughed. “She’s a great woman though. You would really like her. You’re alike in a lot of ways. Strong, beautiful, capable women who don’t take anyone’s shit.”

Pepper’s heart fluttered a little erratically to be compared to a woman like Peggy Carter, but especially at the word beautiful. She was starting to feel flushed and she knew it had nothing to do with the wine. Time to deflect and redirect, a tried and true Tony-wrangling method.

“You don’t talk about her very much.”

“I don’t?”

Pepper shook her head.

“That’s too bad. It’s not intentional. She’s gone her own way with her family and I suppose I’ve gone mine. That’s life right?”

It sounded like there was more to it than that but Pepper wasn’t going to press her luck any further. Tony though became a little antsy, shifting his body around into several different positions before resettling and drinking the remnants of his cup. He refilled it again and they sat in silence for a moment.

Pepper watched him stare into the fireplace contemplatively, the fake embers casting warm shadows across his face. In this lighting his eyes were a warm, honey brown, and she couldn’t help to be drawn to them as he clearly fought some internal fight.

Finally, after what felt like forever he spoke again, his voice soft and serious.

“Aunt Peggy isn’t too happy with me at the moment.”

Pepper frowned. “Why not? The stocks are the best they have ever been.”

“It’s not the company. Me in general. She thinks that an almost thirty-five year old man shouldn’t still be behaving like his twenty-one year old counterpart,” he said, trying for a wry grin that came off more painful than anything.

“She thinks I need to settle down, have a family like she did. Cut down on the alcohol. Well, not just cut down but check myself into Betty Ford or some shit. I told her to mind her own business, we had an argument and I haven’t heard from her since,” he finished with a deep sigh of regret.

Pepper couldn’t say that she disagreed with Ms. Carter’s assessment and honestly, looking at Tony now, she didn’t think he disagreed now either, if he ever really had. There was a difference between knowing you have a problem and accepting it and seeking treatment. It was clear the woman had meant well, but Tony could be so guarded and so bullheaded.

She mentally fought herself over what to say next. She didn’t want to overstep her bounds, she was still his employee, no matter how friendly they could be off office hours, but he was clearly in pain and seeking a little direction, clarity even.

“Do you disagree with her?” she asked, cautiously.

Tony didn’t blow up at her or fire her. His eyes narrowed as he continued to stare at the dancing light in front of him, engaged in his own mental struggle. Slowly he shook his head, the strands of his overgrown hair that had started to curl, waved back and forth slightly.

“No.”

At least he could admit it to himself even if he wasn’t necessarily ready to do anything to change it.

“Call her when we get back. I bet she would love to hear your voice,” she smiled, encouragingly and scooted closer to him so that she could rub her hand down his back in a comforting manner. It was something that she had done a million times before but something about this moment just felt different.

Tony turned his head to face her then, and she felt her heart begin to beat faster in her chest. His eyes traced over her face even as she stopped her ministrations, slowly coming to a stop at her lips before darting back up to her eyes. His tongue darted out just for a second across his own lips and that was when she realized that he was thinking about kissing her. Actually kissing her!

“Hey, Pepper,” he said, voice soft and velvety.

“What?” she squeaked out, a little terrified.

“Wanna make out?” he asked, and was that longing she could detect in his otherwise nonchalant delivery?

Was he actually serious?

For a moment she let her mind wander, let herself give in to the possibility of actually sharing a kiss with Tony Stark. She couldn’t lie and say she hadn’t imagined it before, she was only human after all and Tony was good looking and could even be quite charming when he wasn’t entirely self absorbed. She wondered if she would be able to taste the cheap wine on his full lips…

No.

There was no way that Tony was actually being serious.

She had just caught him in a vulnerable moment and he was deflecting the only way that he knew how and that was via flirtatious behavior. He didn’t want to kiss her because he liked her. Well, like he really liked her, as in he wanted to be with her for longer than a single night, where they were trapped together in a cheap hotel room with only one bed, her as his only option.

No.

She couldn’t do it no matter how much she wished to know what he tasted like, no matter how alluring he looked in the flickering light of the fireplace. She would regret anything that happened in the morning, and knowing herself she would end up resigning, if Tony didn’t just outright fire her. She may have been his longest lasting PA so far but that didn’t mean she wasn’t still expendable once he got what he wanted.

“Mr. Stark, you are being entirely inappropriate right now,” she answered him, adopting the most detached, work voice in her repertoire and immediately scooting away from him.

He frowned at her but didn’t try to close the gap between them again as he rubbed his eye.

“Back to Mr. Stark now, huh? I thought we were outside of office hours?”

“And sometimes I have to remind you of your boundaries.”

“Why? Do you have a boyfriend or something?”

“Why? Because you’re my boss, it’s inappropriate!” she reminded him, though she still felt a little flustered, even more so when he looked at her again the way he had before he asked her to make out, eyes intense and longing.

He smirked then leaned back up against the wall, his face and mannerisms melting away back to the normal facade of her cavalier boss. He raised his eyebrow to her and spoke. “I can’t help but notice that you didn’t deny having a boyfriend, only that it would be inappropriate given our working relationship.”

“Oh, please,” she groaned. She drained the rest of her cup, then stood up and tossed her pillows back onto the bed and pulled back the duvet.

“Where are you going?”

“To bed.”

“Aww c’mon, Pepper, I’m sorry.”

He stood up and reached for her, just brushing his hand against her flannel shirt before she pulled away. He actually looked a little hurt by the rejection.

“I’m really tired, Mr. Stark and I’d really just like to go to bed now, please. I had your nightcap with you.”

“The slumber party was just getting started. We were having cheap booze, I told you a deep dark secret, there was an almost kiss. You owe me a deep dark secret, Ms. Potts.”

“Don’t count on it,” she said, sliding between the sheets and facing the opposite direction.

For a moment the room was silent except for the sound of the wind and snow outside the room and she thought that Tony might actually have given up. Then she listened to the sound of his shuffling feet and felt where the bed dipped in as he sat down at the very end, almost falling off the edge entirely as if he didn’t want to offend her by getting any closer to her.

“Look I really am sorry. You’re right, it’s been a long day, which is mostly my fault and then I just went a little too far. I didn’t mean anything by it and I am sorry if I offended you or hurt your feelings or whatever. I appreciate all you’ve done for us tonight. Are we good?” At that he did ever so carefully reach out and place his hand on top of her covered foot, a gentle weight meaning to convey his sincerity.

She appreciated the apology, and really had it been that big of a deal? Tony was just being Tony, it wasn’t his fault that she had started to get swept up in the moment. She sighed lightly against her pillow and lifted her head slightly to look at him. He had his head down but met her eyes when she looked at him.

“Will that be all, Mr. Stark?” she smiled after her customary phrase to let him know that all was forgiven.

His lips twitched up into a half smile. “That will be all Ms. Potts,” he returned the gesture and patted her leg before standing up.

Pepper had just laid her head back down when he spun back around.

“Actually, no, that’s not it, I’m sorry again. Can I at least get the top sheet? I’m a naturally hot-blooded male but even I need something to keep me warm at night,” he grinned and offered a mischievous wink.

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t keep her own face neutral, a small smile slipping across her face as she sat up and pulled back the duvet again, grasping at the top sheet underneath and pulled it free from where it was tucked in at the end of the bed. She balled it up once it was free and tossed it into Tony’s waiting arms with a little more force than was strictly needed..

“Thank you, Ms. Potts.”

“You’re welcome, Mr. Stark,” she said, her smile completely uncontained now and snuggled once more under the warm blanket, waiting for sleep to claim her.

Or at least she would have if Tony wasn’t so loud as he moved about the room, placing his pillows on the couch and spreading out his white sheet.

Next came the thunk of his heavy snow boots coming off and being dropped on the floor and she said a mental apology for whoever was stuck beneath them as she kept her eyes screwed shut, desperate for him to finish whatever he was doing and be quiet.

Then came the distinct sound of his belt clanging together as he undid the fasten and Pepper’s eyes shot open in disbelief.

Tony unabashedly stood beside the couch, the direction she happened to have been facing, and was actually undressing. It wasn’t like she hadn’t caught more than an eyeful before when she’d come to collect him in the mornings and he certainly never seemed to care about any level of nudeness. However, she thought he would at least attempt to have some modicum of decorum while they were sharing a room. Apparently not.

She could have looked away. She should have looked away. Alas, she watched him undress through squinted eyes in case she were caught, sleep would be easier to feign.

He pulled his green sweater up over his head and she watched as his white t-shirt beneath was caught up with it, revealing the well defined muscles of his back before he corrected the mishap and the t-shirt fell back down to cover it.

When she heard the zipper of his pants being undone she did squeeze her eyes shut, what was she even thinking spying on him like that, even if he was doing it right in front of her. She was ogling her boss in the same manner that she always got onto him for.

“Do you really have to do that right there?” she asked, frustration laden in her tone.

“I thought you were sleeping,” he said with a playful tease, like he knew exactly what she had been doing.

She just huffed and turned around the opposite direction, lest his dark chuckle tempt her to look again.

“Your virtue is safe, Ms. Potts, I had shorts on under my pants.”

“Why were you wearing---I don’t need to know.”

He laughed again. “Goodnight, Pep.”

“Goodnight, Tony.”

-------------------------------------

Tony really tried to fall asleep after that. He spread out under the sheet, across the couch, his legs just hung over the edges where he was a little it too tall. It wasn’t uncomfortable, he was used to curling up anywhere he could to sleep. However, like most nights, he couldn’t seem to be able to get his brain to shut off.

His mind was racing with thoughts, ideas, calculations. How if he adjusted the processor chips for one of Stark Industries missiles he could make it that little bit more accurate. Schematics came and went as he did the mental math and how long it would take to adjust versus the cost and if it was even worth it to tweek or just create a whole new line.

He had other ideas too. Ways to improve the intellicrops. An electronics line that could put Apple to shame.

Sometimes he thought about Pepper. Nothing dirty surprisingly. Just about her. The way she looked in the Malibu sunlight, her hair flared out all around her, or even here in Colorado bundled up in snow gear or her ridiculous flannel pajamas. The way that he sometimes caught her staring at him the same ways he knew she caught him staring at her. She took care of him. Listened to him when she clearly didn’t understand half of what he was talking about. Helped him keep the company going. Put up with his whims. Just thinking about her, even her scolding him could put a smile on his face. If he believed in love then he would definitely equate love with Pepper.

Thinking about love would make him think of his mother, then his father. Jarvis, Ana. What they all would think if they could see him now, spending every free moment drinking or chasing after the only version of companionship he could accept.

Wonder what the world would have been like if he had been in that car with his parents, if he’d told them that he would come. Or what would have happened if he would have spoken to them a little longer.

Hell sometimes he still wondered what happened to Shannon Dorman who gave him his first kiss in second grade when his father wasn’t able to make it to parent weekend at Andover.

The only difference in all these thoughts from a normal person is most people thought about them one at a time. For Tony it was everything all at once. Like someone had left a bunch of tabs open on a computer and they all were playing different music. It was hard to focus and distinguish one thought or emotion from another when he was left idle like this.

He thrummed his hand against the back of the couch, the sound echoing loudly in the otherwise quiet room, so he stopped. He bounced his foot instead and turned his head to look out the window and watch the large chunks of snow as they continued to fall, not as heavy as before but still steady.

In lieu of counting sheep he tried counting snowflakes. He made it to nearly one thousand before it became just another tab running in the background of his mind.

He needed a drink. Or sex. He didn’t think Pepper would be offering though and he was well mannered enough that he would refrain from slinking away to the bathroom for some self love.

That left Tony with a drink. 10% alcohol content was a drop in the bucket for him but perhaps it would at least let him close out some of those tabs for a while. At least enough so that he could catch a few hours sleep.

Making up his mind, he threw back the covers and walked back over to the fireplace and retrieved the forgotten bottle. There was still a little over half left, it should theoretically do the trick.

He collapsed back against the couch and haphazardly strew the sheet back across him as he took a long pull straight from the bottle. He didn’t figure that Pepper would be wanting anymore tonight so there was no one left to be considerate for. After a couple more long pulls he could feel that little tingle start working its way across his body, warming him from the inside. Whiskey did it better but it was still a pleasant start.

“Tony...” Pepper’s tired voice called out to him and for the first time he noticed her blue eyes watching him.

“What?”

“Don’t drink anymore tonight.”

He tried not to bristle against the perceived admonishment. “Why not?”

“I’m sorry. It’s really none of my business what my boss does,” she said.

“Okay...as my friend then. Why?”

Pepper was quiet for a moment before she shifted around on the bed and clicked on the bedside light and sat up. Her hands were almost hidden by the cuffs of her pajamas but he could see how she twisted them together nervously, one of her only tells of discomfort.

“If you’re serious about what you said earlier, about agreeing with your Aunt...why not start now? Just little steps. You don’t need to drink, you don’t even like that stuff,” she finally spoke, her voice steady and sure despite her earlier nervousness. When Pepper committed to a decision she always went all in.

“Look, I’m sorry that I woke you. I just needed something to help me to sleep. This helps.”

“Well, what normally helps?”

He smiled.

Ah Pepper. Ever the problem solver.

“Normally, I have a glass of whiskey and well, company with me, to tire myself out. That helps usually. When I’m home I can work. Right now I have none of that,” he shrugged.

“Have you thought about taking a sleeping aid?”

Tony scoffed. “Uh. Yeah. That’s not going to work. You missed the early nineties with me so I forgive you, I just try to stay away from anything in pill format these days.”

Pepper brought both of her knees up to her chest and pulled the blanket back over her, one arm resting against her knee and propping her head up as she racked her mind for alternatives. “Is there nothing else that helps?”

“Working out, but I’m not sure you want me doing calisthenics while you’re trying to sleep.”

“What about talking?”

Tony thought it over. He remembered more than one night where he and Jarvis talked until he fell asleep. It was worth a go. At the very least the conversation was a distraction and he had a good partner to speak with.

He nodded his head. “Talking helps.”

“Then talk to me.”

“Aren’t we already?”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “Tell you what, you can try and dig for slumber party gossip if you think it will help.”

“Ohhhh I knew you would warm up to the game,” he said, and took one final sip of the wine before standing and putting it on the bedside table beside Pepper so it would be out of his grasp.

“So, tell me about Virginia Potts. We’ve spent every day together for five years and I feel like I don’t know anything about you aside from your remarkable ability to keep my ass in line, your acumen for business, and your minor shoe addiction.”

Pepper shrugged and to his surprise took her own little drink from the bottle, seemingly nonplussed that he had been drinking straight from it like a heathen. “Well, I’m from a small town in Ohio…”

“Riverbend,” he finished.

She smirked back at him. “So you have checked up on me too.”

“Just your resume and the standard background check when you were originally hired. I did have to make sure you weren’t actually a crazy person you know after the pepper spray incident, you know? Happy wouldn’t let me breathe until I did.”

“And that’s why he is a great bodyguard.”

“Eh, jury is still out on that one. He did let you get by after all.”

There was another genuine smile. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was her smile. He could already feel his mind slowly beginning to calm, just with the little bit of banter between them.

“Anyways, my Dad used to run a farm with my Uncle Morgan but my Uncle was always a little flighty. When that was a bust my father started his own handyman business and then became a contractor. My mother was an elementary school secretary. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, I just knew I wanted to get out of there.”

“Well, yeah. The land of corn and astronauts. There’s gotta be some reason all those guys wanted to leave Earth after a stint in your state. Nevermind the biography let's just get to the fun stuff.”

He could honestly sit and listen to Pepper talk about her life forever. She could be as detailed as a Tolkien novel and he’d never complain. He just wasn’t sure when he would ever get this opportunity for questions again, and while young Virginia fascinated him, he wanted to know more about Pepper now.

She raised her brow questioningly. “Like what?”

“What do you say to a fast money round? Favorite color?”

She laughed a little, surprised perhaps by the simplicity of the question. “Blue. You?”

“Red. Favorite food?”

“Pad thai.”

“Not bad. Mine is pasta carbonara. My mom…” he trailed off a little bit, suddenly struck by a memory of cooking with his mother in the kitchen. So much for forgetting. Pepper looked at him with concern as he mentally regrouped. “She made the best version of it. Authentic.”

His words hung thick in the air until Pepper broke the silence.

“Least favorite food?”

“Caviar. I know I’m probably destroying your elitist view of me but I had a terrible experience as a kid. Never again. You?” he said, grateful for the continuation of their game.

“Strawberries.”

“Really? You have a whole strawberry-blonde aesthetic going on,” he said pointing his finger at her hair.

“Yeah, I’m allergic. Like deathly allergic, so it’s a no go for me.”

“Bummer. There’s some irony for you. Do you want me to ban strawberries from the entire Stark Industries campus? Because I will.”

“I don’t think that is necessary.”

“Well, at least from the house. I’ll have Jarvis erase anything strawberry related from the grocery list.”

“It's really not-”

“Please?” he insisted. He could think of at least ten different running items off the top of his head with strawberry in them. She was in his home just as much if not more than he was, he wanted her to feel comfortable there. “You’re at my house more than your own and the least I can do is make you feel safe. Mi casa es su casa, y’know?

“I hardly think that I need protecting from the big bad strawberries but if it really means that much to your chivalrous pride then yes, delete strawberry related items from your grocery list,” she teased, but her soft smile let him know how it was appreciated.

“Done deal.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark.”

“You’re welcome Ms. Potts. Now where were we? Oh yes, searching for your deep, dark secret. Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked, raising his brow expectantly.

Pepper groaned. “Didn’t you already ask that?”

“You didn’t answer the question. Look, it doesn’t have to be a boyfriend. Girlfriend maybe? You know there’s no judgement from me. It'd be like the pot calling the kettle black because you’ve seen the array of company I keep.”

“No, I don’t have a girlfriend, Tony, sorry to disappoint, and no boyfriend either.”

“Why not? This may be crossing a boundary but you are smoking hot. You can’t tell me you haven’t left a trail of broken hearts from Ohio to California.”

“Like you?”

“No, that’s coast to coast. Global even,” he said with a wink that he knew would draw an eye roll from her.

“Not that it is any of your business,” she predictably began with the eye roll, “but I really haven’t. There was someone in college that I thought maybe...he didn’t want a partner though he wanted a trophy. The people I have dated in between have never lasted very long and I don’t have the time for that right now anyways.”

“Because of me?” he questioned.

“No. I’m just focused on my career and I have been since college. It’s hard finding a person who isn’t intimidated by a powerful woman who knows what she wants. You’d be surprised by all the fragile egos out there.”

“I’m really not. You forget about the people I’ve been expected to mingle with my entire life?”

She smiled at his words and took a few moments to collect her thoughts, her face pinching together in a frown. “I don’t want to compromise my goals just because my partner thinks barefoot and pregnant is a more appropriate title for a woman.”

Tony thought her feelings were perfectly understandable. He couldn’t ever imagine Pepper relegated to taking a back seat in her own life. Not to say that being a mother is less than a corporate business woman, but that idea that someone would want to repress who Pepper was just to fit their own outdated ideals of what a family and relationship should be.

“I agree, Pep, that’s ridiculous.”

If she was shocked by his response she hid it well. Maybe she wasn’t though. He always thought he was a progressive guy, even if sometimes he could be a bit contradictory in his actions. That was mostly for show though. The carefully crafted Tony Stark persona.

“Besides, when would I ever really even have the time to date someone seriously with our schedules? We’re in a fast paced world, where plans can change on a dime…”

“Like spending an extra couple of days skiing, snowboarding and getting caught in a blizzard?”

She held out her hand towards him. “Exactly. Who would understand that? I feel like I’d spend more time justifying my work than actually having a relationship.”

“So, it is my fault then?” he asked sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

“Ugh. Maybe a little. Don’t feel too bad,” she said, waving his feelings off. “The last time I did have a semi successful date, the guy ended it with what I’m sure he thought was an earth shattering kiss but he literally kissed like a fish. It was disgusting and ruined the entire night.”

Tony actually cackled at that anecdote. “So, no second date?”

“Oh my god. Definitely not. Completely turned me off of the concept for the foreseeable future,” she laughed with him.

“When was that?”

Pepper thought about it a moment. “About a year ago.”

Tony flinched. “Oof. You sure you don’t wanna make out? You shouldn’t let that be your last kiss.”

“Thanks, tempting but no.”

“Ooh I’ve gone from an outright no to tempting, huh?” Pepper opened up her mouth to protest but he immediately cut her off, pointing his finger at her. “No, no, don’t take it back. You said it. That’s going to be tattooed on my brain for a very long time.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

They both fell silent after that, just enjoying each other’s company. Tony shifted on the couch folding his arms behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. Pepper shifted to lay back down on her pillow, she still laid on her side facing him though, he felt her eyes watching him.

“What’s on your mind?” she finally asked.

“Do you ever think you’ll have a family one day?”

“I’ve really never thought about it, to be honest.”

“I find that hard to believe. Even I have thought of it.”

“You have?”

“Hard not to when there’s a new paternity suit every year.”

That was the truth. He had thought of family in the traditional manner of course. Settling down like Aunt Peggy said with a wife and 2.5 children like the American dream dictated. He didn’t see it ever happening, but sometimes it was a nice thought if he didn’t think he would turn out just like his father, cold and neglectful.

The paternity suits were another beast. None ever panned out and he expected none ever would. He may be promiscuous but he wasn’t an idiot. Still, it was always an interesting couple of weeks wondering what if. He wasn’t the type that would pay the mother off he knew that much. He would take an active part in any child of his life, fears be damned.

“I guess it’s not something I’ve ever pined for. Maybe someday in the far off future where I’m the CEO of my own company. Maybe then.”

He turned his head to face her. “You gunning for my job, Potts?

She smiled tiredly back at him. “Maybe I am. I have to keep you on your toes somehow.”

“You’d probably do a better job. You like all the boring details of the job. I just want to be left alone to create.”

“Please. Don't sell yourself short. Creating is your passion, but you have an eye for business. If you didn't then I don't think this company would have survived the last decade and don't say it was all Obadiah either. You're way more progressive than he is.”

“While I appreciate the vote of confidence, weren't you already concerned with how you'd fit my ego in the room though? I don't want to suffocate you.”

“I think I can manage this once. Tony, can I ask you something?” she asked.

Something in the tone of her voice made him look over at her. She was chewing at the bottom of her lip in indecision so he had a pretty good idea that like earlier in the night, whatever she wanted to say was probably something that he wouldn’t like.

“Prying for the deep, dark secrets again?” he asked, going for levity and turning his attention back to the ceiling.

“Why did we stay here after the conference?” she asked softly.

Of course she asked that.

“Just wasn’t ready to go back.”

“You didn’t even want to go to the conference and then you stay here longer? You hate the cold and snow.”

Tony shifted into a slouched position, one arm curving across the back of the couch as he drummed his fingers against the material again. He could feel his heart begin to race as he debated whether he wanted to tell Pepper the truth or not. This was one of those things that had been floating along in his myriad of thoughts and ideas, keeping him up at night the closer that the date approached.

Pepper had shown good faith in him all night, humoring him even though he knew she had to be exhausted. After his behavior he supposed an explanation was the very least that he could provide her.

“I didn’t always hate it,” he began gingerly.

Pepper seemed to make a decision then, sitting back up and moving herself and her pillows to the opposite side of the bed. She left the duvet upturned and patted the empty space beside her invitingly.

“I trust you,” was all she said.

He stood up from the couch and let the sheet fall away as he stretched out his limbs. He wasn’t a very tall man, but he was way too long to be scrunched up on the couch and was thankful for the reprieve. Tony wrapped the sheet back around his body as he slid beneath the warmth of the duvet and flipped the cover up over them both. He turned on his side to face Pepper, propping his chin up with his arm and she mirrored his movements. Tony tried to use the quiet moment to gather his thoughts and not to think about how the warmth he felt from the mattress was from where her body had lain.

“Today...well, yesterday,” he conceded given the hour, “was my mother’s birthday.”

“I didn’t know,” she whispered and shook her head.

“You wouldn’t. I keep my parents close to the vest as much as I can these days,” he shrugged and absolved her from any guilt she might be feeling. Pepper hated not knowing important information.

“I grew up in New York as you know, and she used to love it when it snowed. When I was younger we would build snowmen, snow angels, we made ice cream out of the snow and shared hot cocoa. Whatever you could think of. When I was older, the week of her birthday my parents would take me out of boarding school, and since it doesn’t usually snow in April, we would go to the Alps or Aspen or wherever else and ski, snowboard, whatever. It was one of the only times I ever remember feeling like I was really a part of the family. When she died…” he trailed off softly.

“It was snowing that night?” Pepper inferred. She always knew what he meant to say.

He nodded slowly. “The snow and cold didn’t bring me any kind of joy anymore.”

“So, why now?” she asked gently.

He had come this far. May as well go all in.

“If we’d gone back to Malibu I would have done my best impression of drinking myself to death, like I do every year. I don’t know. I guess something Aunt Peggy said struck a chord and I wanted to try and honor Mom a better way. I still drank but when I’m in public it’s easier to stop. To control it. There’s no control when I’m alone.”

He ducked his head in shame not wanting to see any kind of judgement on Pepper’s face. She knew he had problems. How couldn’t she? She was always one step behind him cleaning up his messes and he had even admitted his problem to her tonight. He just wasn’t sure she knew the full extent. The reason why he was on full lockdown and unavailable on certain dates because he would rather drink himself to death than have to remember.

“If you needed someone to keep you company, all you had to do was ask,” she answered him quietly and he dared to lift his head and take a peek at her face from beneath his hair, trying to gauge the sincerity behind the words.

“I don’t pay you enough for that.”

She immediately frowned. “I don’t need you to pay me. I am your friend, Tony. If you’re struggling, I want to help.”

He wanted to believe her. Oh how bad he wanted to believe her. He could see the sincerity on her face and hear it in her words, He had just had so many experiences that told him the opposite. That everyone had a motive to be close with him, no one really cared. Until Rhodey and Happy. And now Pepper.

He smiled sheepishly and wiped a tear that he didn’t know was there away with the back of his hand. “I guess I don’t know how to ask for help.”

“We’ll work on it,” she said and reached out and brushed the stray hair from his face, her hand lingering as it softly caressed his cheek.

“Hey, Pep,” he began hoarsely, his eyes downturned to the pattern of the duvet, ”in the spirit of asking, I guess I should start learning now.”

“Anything,” she replied honestly and that made him grin for the ghost of a moment.

“Do you think maybe when we get back you could put together a list of some, uh, outpatient facilities for my, uh...you know,” he stumbled.

She moved her hand from his cheek down to grasp his free hand and squeezed it in hers. “Of course.”

“Maybe keep it quiet from Obie and everyone else in case it doesn’t take.”

“It’s a process, Tony. You’ll get there in your own time, but yeah. I can keep it quiet as long as you’ll at least tell Rhodey. He’d want to support you too. And Peggy.”

He clutched her hand in his and ran his thumb across her skin soothingly. “You drive a hard bargain, Potts. You sure you aren’t trying to take my job?”

“Not today.”

“Then I accept your terms,” he said squeezing her hand again.

“Good. Do you think you can sleep?”

“Maybe. I feel a little better.”

“Well. Just try. I’m here if you need me.”

He wanted to tell Pepper that being in such a close proximity to her was part of what was keeping him awake now but he didn’t. Instead he carefully turned and clicked the light off before settling back into his pillow. He wasn’t about to give up this moment for anything, even if he didn’t sleep a wink.

---------------------------------------

Pepper couldn’t believe that she actually was sharing a bed with Tony right now. It had been awhile since her declaration to get some sleep but even though she was dead on her feet she couldn’t seem to get relaxed enough to drift off. Maybe that also had something to do with the fact that Tony was still loosely holding her hand in his and every time he took a breath she could feel it tickle against her skin.

What did all of this mean? Did it even mean anything? She had always prided herself on enforcing boundaries and making sure Tony always stayed on the other side of the invisible line but tonight she felt like they both had leaped over it hand in hand. Skipping over the line between professionalism and friendship right into something more. Just what she could not say yet. Not even in her own mind. It wasn’t able to be defined yet. All she knew was that this little detour in the snowy mountains of Colorado had been a turning point in their relationship, seemingly for the better.

If Tony was comfortable enough now to tell her about such intimate information about his family and his drinking, reaching out to her for help, then that could only be for the better. He didn’t have many people he could trust like that and she was proud to be counted among them.

Were they still just friends though?

“Pepper, I can hear you thinking from over here, what’s on your mind?” he asked groggily, his hand closing around hers once more, causing her to flinch in surprise.

“I thought you were asleep?”

“The room is only big enough for one loud thinker not two. So spill it, what’s going on?” he asked, his eyelids fluttering open to reveal dark brown eyes.

Oh, nothing, just thinking about how distracting it is to be touching you and sharing a bed.

“Just the usual. Wondering if we’ll be able to fly out of here tomorrow. Thinking of everything that will need to be pushed back if we’re not.”

He didn’t buy it for a second she knew but he hummed in assent and kept his eyes locked on her own.

“What?” she chuckled nervously under his gaze.

“Hey, Pepper, now do you want to make out?”

There was something different about the way he asked her this time. Tony wasn’t teasing, he wasn’t vulnerable any longer. Enough time had passed that he had seemed to come back to himself which made this even scarier than all the other times. This time she didn’t doubt the sincerity as he held her gaze, jaw locked firmly in place in anticipation of her response. She was finding it harder to find reasons to turn him down.

“Tony…” she began, hoping for her brain to come up with something. “I know today has been difficult and we have had some really hard and emotional conversations…”

“You wouldn’t be taking advantage of me if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m not that compromised,” he grinned, his face lit up only by the moonlight pouring in from the window.

“I just don’t think that’s going to happen,” she finished lamely.

“Why not?”

She had to give him something real or he would never stop. She slowly pulled her hand away from his, instantly missing the warmth he had provided and hid it beneath her pillow. “I can’t be just another one of those girls, Tony.” He would have to understand that.

“Is that what you think, Pepper?” he asked, unable to mask the small amount of hurt from creeping onto his face and in his tone. He actually looked like a wounded animal.

All she could offer was a shrug in response because it was exactly what she thought from the moment that she had met him until this evening when she finally started to see that other side of him.

“You’re not, Pep,” he reassured her and reached back out and found her hand beneath the pillow anyways. “God you’re not.”

“What’s changed?” she dared to ask.

“You have always been different than everyone else. You’re not someone that I could or even want to throw away. You mean more to me than anyone else in my life. I thought it was obvious by the way that I am a complete and utter disaster without you. I have been wanting this since you first came through my office doors and until tonight I wasn’t completely sure, but I know you like me too. Don’t you?” he asked so earnestly, his eyes opened wide and his eyebrows raised. He looked like a literal puppy, begging to be let in from the cold.

“Tony…” she started to deflect again but he cut her off.

“Look, it’s okay if you don’t, I’m not going to fire you or anything. I don’t want you to ever be worried about that because like you said, we’re friends right?”

She nodded her head gently.

“Good. I just want to know that I’m not crazy, Pepper. That I’m not the only one that gets these weird little butterflies in the pit of my stomach whenever we’re together. You feel it too, right?”

Pepper hesitated a long time, instinctively chewing at her bottom lip again. She had another choice to make. Another boundary to shatter. Should she do it? She let loose a deep full body sigh, ignoring how shaky the exhale really was before she looked him in the eye.

“You’re not crazy,” she admitted.

His face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“You’re my boss,” she simply offered. Another truth. It was inappropriate. The press would always talk about the power imbalance and trash her for falling for it like all the others.

Tony had the nerve to scoff at her words. “Please, if anything you are my boss.”

“Okay then. You don’t do relationships,” she tried again.

“I could try. I want to try. With you,” he clarified gently, his voice lowering to that honeyed timber she loved.

Her heart wanted to sing with his admission. In fact it was. She could feel how quickly it was pumping, the adrenaline sending shockwaves all across her body as she thrummed with anticipation. Her mind however knew otherwise. There was always a but.

“Tony...you’re not ready for that yet.”

And he wasn’t. Her brain knew that even as her heart rebelled. Tony was a mess. On this trip alone he had been with at least three different girls. He was slowly coming to terms with being an alcoholic and what that meant for his personal and professional future as he started to seek help. That was on top of his already full work plate. He didn’t have the time or the mental capacity right now to try and begin a new relationship and to do it the right way. He had no idea the work it would entail. Maybe someday in the faroff future, but not tonight.

His face dropped as his eyes flickered across her face, his hand going loose in hers so she could pull away but she didn’t. “Okay. Yeah, you’re right. I’m a bit of a mess aren’t I?” he asked, flashing a pained toothy smile. “It’s fine.”

“Look, I’m not saying no forever,” she clarified. She was helpless against that face.

“So, there’s a chance?” he asked, hopefully.

She squeezed his hand. “Perhaps.”

“Well, in that case I will do my best to become the kind of man you deserve.”

It was probably the most sincere declaration of affection she had ever received and she tried to hide the dopey grin in her pillow. That made him smile back and this time it was him who pulled his hand free to run the back of his hand down her face almost reverently, taking his time and just soaking the moment up.

“Hey, Tony…”

“Yeah?”

“Want to make out?” she asked, coyly.

His eyebrows disappeared into his hairline as his head shot off the pillow. “But you said--”

“On one condition,” she continued unperturbed.

“What would that be?”

She waited until he settled back down and then looked away from him nervously. “After tonight...we pretend like it never happened.”

“Never?”

“Never. Can you do that?”

“I can.”

“We can count this as an experiment. Maybe we won’t even like it, maybe it will be too weird,” she shrugged.

“You know me. Always willing to sacrifice anything needed in the name of science,” he teased and scooted closer to her.

She held her breath when she felt his body brush up against her own as he tentatively leaned in closer to her. He brushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear and searched her face seemingly for any sign of doubt of discomfort. Anything saying that she was uncomfortable. Aside from her heart beating like a freight train inside her chest though she felt perfectly normal.

“You’re sure?” he asked again. He liked to play the field but she knew that he was always all about consent.

“I’m sure,” she spoke so quietly she could barely even hear her own words.

Pepper met his lips halfway and only had half a second of panic that this was really happening before his lips met hers and with it threw out any sense of logic or reason. Instead her mind was flooded with the happy influx of endorphins as her heart continued to pound away, the fluttering of the butterflies in her stomach melting away into something hotter as it spread across her body.

Her hand reached up to tangle itself in his hair, gently pulling and encouraging him. When he opened his mouth to hers she almost giggled like a school child when she realized she could taste that cheap wine on his tongue like she wondered earlier and also knowing that it had never tasted better than it did right now.

It was like a spark had been lit between them and nothing else existed.

All that she knew were his lips, the smell of his aftershave and collage blending together in perfect harmony, some kind of leather and sandalwood type smell, not his usual expensive brand and she found that curious. His hands rove from caressing her cheek to burying themselves in her hair as well, or running up and down her back softly. It made a shiver go down her backside and he only pulled her closer for it.

She actually whimpered when he pulled away, mouth still parted and wanting as they both were left breathless.

“Weird?” he asked, after a moment, his sweet breath tickling her nose, he was still so close.

“No, I don’t think so,” she immediately shook her head.

“Good, once more for science?” he asked, but it was rhetorical and she never got the chance to respond.

Oh, how she wished that this never had to end. That it was the future already and Tony’s life was put together the way that they both hoped it would be. That the endless parade of booze and women was over and he was celebrating his sobriety and they were away celebrating. But it wasn’t. And this did have to end before it got too far.

Pepper pulled away from him slowly, letting him chase her and kiss her softly a couple more times as he came back down from the rush. She put a finger to his lips to prevent him from anymore but he just kissed her index finger instead.

“I think that’s enough for one evening,” she said, regrettably.

He looked as disappointed as she did but also satisfied in a way that she had never seen him except maybe after some breakthrough on a project. His hand stayed buried in her hair, brushing and pulling at the strands.

“It will never be enough. But I think we have collected sufficient data for the future,” he grinned dopily in the waning light of the moon.

This time Pepper did giggle and she blamed it on the swell of emotions mixing with her utter exhaustion.

“You could say that,” she agreed when her giggles subsided.

He gazed at her longingly and licked his lips, her attention instantly flying to his tongue. She knew what he tasted like now, and she didn’t ever want to forget it.

“Since this night never happened, might I trouble you for one more thing?” he asked hesitantly.

She clenched her teeth worried about what kind of favor exactly he had in mind and if it was going to put a damper on their evening.

“What is it?” she asked cautiously.

“Can I hold you tonight?” he asked, his voice barely coming out in a soft rumble that sent more shivers down her body.

Of all the requests she wasn’t expecting that one. Not something so innocent.

“Well, since it never happened,” she simply said with a shrug of her shoulder and moved in closer beside him.

The hand that had been in her hair moved as he laid on his back and let her tuck herself in against his chest comfortably, before encircling her, the reassuring weight of his bicep against her back. She tentatively let her own arm creep across his torso and gently fist into the fabric of his shirt as she inhaled his scent beneath her. She heard more than felt when he kissed the top of her head.

“Goodnight Ms. Potts,” he said, his voice already thick with exhaustion. She thought he might actually be able to get some sleep tonight.

“Goodnight Mr. Stark.”

They missed the brilliant sunrise the next morning, and the gentle rapping at the door of the nervous general manager checking in on his guests. When she woke it was with the comfort of Tony’s arms still around her as he snored softly in the morning light.

They made it back to Malibu of course. Back to Stark Industries and deadlines and projects. Tony did start at an outpatient program and he did make that call to Peggy Carter to apologize and to his best friend to let him know what he was doing.

They never spoke about that night.

Whenever, she’d start to feel like it was all just some strange, exhaustion induced fever dream though, she would catch Tony looking at her. Not the way that he always had with what she figured was nothing more than base lust. No, now he looked at her almost lovingly. Reverently. Hopefully. Like she hung the stars and the moon and nothing else existed in that moment. Then she was reminded of that moment. How he looked, how he felt pressed against her.

If she ever did start to forget though and his gaze was not enough to remind her, she would come and find him. At home, at work. She’d slip away to where they could be alone and he could remind her once more, that what happened was real. What she was feeling for him and he for her was real

They could never talk about it just yet.

Instead it was like it never happened.

#pepperonygiftexchange #river-bottom-nightmare #pepperony #mel's fics #pepperony fic #mcu

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writing-the-end · 4 years ago

Text

LoL Chapter 36- Addows

(what’s this, a chapter on monday? Yes! Starting today and for the foreseeable future, LoL will now update mondays and fridays! Hopefuly it will gain more attention when it updates more often,,,)

Masterpost

A Wizard Hermits tale (AU, designs, ideas belongs to @theguardiansofredland)

If the hermits hope to enter the most dangerous place in Lairyon, they need to know about the Forest of Memories. Xisuma, Cub, and Joe venture to the haunted city of Addows in search of information.

____________________________________

Mist swirls around Xisuma, his vision obscured by the thick fog of the city. Old, ancient buildings are all around him, once a city of the ancient ones still alive with the people of Lairyon. Massive stone temples, graveyards for heroes and legends, buildings with no known purpose that now house creeds and clairvoyants.

Addows is a home of ghosts. Ghosts of the past, present in both tomes that the temples and libraries hold, and actual spirits that wander the eternally misty street. No one is spooked by the spooks, just another face in the crowd.

And it’s the perfect place for the hermits to dig up ancient knowledge. If anywhere would have information on the Forest of Memories, it would be the hallowed halls of Addows. Cub creeps closer to Xisuma, not quite sure if he likes not being able to see more than a few feet in front or behind him. He’s sure there’s some sort of proverb that Joe would spew at him about this and the past or whatever, but right now he doesn’t want to hear it. Joe, meanwhile, is loving this atmosphere. The spooky vibes, the aged buildings and haunting people. He could write entire novels about this place, how much it fits his aesthetic. He may just have to build a new library on Eremita to match this. Plus, his fuzzy cloak is comfortable and fits in well with the shadowed passersby.

The three hermits wander the streets, walking through the midday mist, watching as buildings appear from nothing and disappear once again. Joe gets distracted every once in awhile on a witch’s shop, books older than the kingdom, apothecaries with all kinds of rare materials, and about a dozen different colored candles. And lots of rocks. TFC would have a field day.

But after what feels like both hours and seconds of walking down the twisting streets of the ancient city, they finally arrive where they need to be. A building so old that the rain and forest has weathered it down, and a whole new layer of detritus has turned to dirt, ferns, trees, and vines growing down the massive stone pillars. In the weathered carving, the purpose of the ancient building remains the same. It’s a library, the largest in all the kingdom and filled with the most extensive, the most knowledgeable, and the most ancient of works. In languages long dead and unrevivable, written by ghost writers that now haunt these halls, and recounted by the living and the dead that wander the stacks.

“And a delightful young adult section with some of my favorite works for young readers.” Joe hums. “Anything, and I mean anything-” He pauses, letting Xisuma and Cub fill in what he means, “can be found in the national library of Addows.”

“That means if there’s anywhere that will tell us how to handle the Forest of Memories, or what could be hiding in there, it’s here.” Xisuma wanders down the stacks. All three hermits itch to reach out and pull books of their favorite genres or authors. Cub wants to dive into the deep end of the ancient ones history. Xisuma wants to study the great works of the best astronomers. And Joe wants to read the most mind boggling pieces that make absolutely no sense. He loves that feeling of being left confused about what he just read.

They search the tomes, from geography to history, history to science. They search every section- even the young adult section. Cub resorts to portaling around rather than running the worn stone stairs, but to no avail. In the end, all three of the hermits are sitting in an alcove of ferns and vines, staring out over the thick misted city.

“It wasn’t in anything. Has no one ever written about the Forest of Memories?” Xisuma grumbles, pulling off his mask. It’s not like there’s any sun, he doesn’t need his brother’s creation.

“Someone had to. It’s been around for eons and is nestled in the heart of Lairyon. I can think of so many epics that could rely solely upon those two aspects.” Joe speaks with his head on his hands, looking over the library. Where haven’t they checked? “I’m starting to think it’s not even real, just a bunch of folktales.”

Silence, until Cub’s eyes light up. “Folktales! Where do you put everything that you don’t know or understand?”

“In the trash bin?” Joe’s dry humor is not lost on Xisuma, but Cub is too excited.

“The folklore!” Cub summons his magic, a portal opening between the hermits, taking them to the very entrance of the library. The beginning of it all. He jumps through, skidding into a cracked pillar, but the stone is held fast by roots of the forest. Joe and Xisuma follow after, the portal collapsing behind them.

“Forest….forest...forest…” Cub whispers, running his fingers along books, scrolls, even just tablets of stone. “Forest, Evernight. Nope. Forest, Creation of. No…”

He stops, fingers coming to rest on a manuscript. Two wood planks pressing fabric pages together. It has no written title, but the front of the book is a tree with it’s branches intertwined like that of a brain. Cub grabs the manuscript, opening it with fervor. “Godsdamnit.”

“What’s wrong now?” Xisuma sighs, peering over the portal mage’s shoulder. But the symbols scrawled on the fabric are meaningless to them both. Not even Joe, who purveys in ancient and useless knowledge, has no ability to read the book.

“Ahh, The Journey to the Center of Lairyon’s Mind. A very good work. Quite dense.” All three hermits shriek, echoing in the quiet library as a misty head appears through the bookshelves. They should have been prepared for a ghost, but in the heat of the moment, they forgot they were in the most haunted city in the kingdom.

“H-have you read this? Can you r-read this language?” Joe holds the book out.

The ghost steps through the shelves, her hand becoming solid enough to hold up the piece. “It’s old kipling. Before they integrated into one oceanic script. Back in the early days, when Lairyon was just a bunch of warring nations. Ah, the oceans were so peaceful in comparison.”

“What does the author say? What does this mean?” Joe points at the fine print of a page that the kipling opened.

“It’s the dedication! It’s to me!” She laughs, ghostly fin ruffling with joy. “My wife was such a wonderful author, she is still curious to this day.”

Xisuma surges up to the ghost, no longer afraid. “The author, she’s still here? Where is she?”

“Why, I’m sure she’s moping around our gravestone, waiting for me to come back so she can tell me more stories that she picked up from the other ghosts.” The kipling ghost pauses. “Would you like to meet her, or rather just read through this dingy old book? Why not meet the real adventurer Cielle DuNord? Bravest woman ever, only person to enter the heart of the Forest of Memories and come back sane. At least...only recorded person.”

From the oldest library, the hermits follow the bouncing kipling down the street to the oldest cemetery. Sometimes they lose sight of her in the fog, her ghostly figure becoming a part of the mist and disappearing. But it just takes a laugh and a call from Lady Nellaime, her dress swaying like kelp in the waves, and they’re back on track. The misty glen opens to reveal ancient tombs and stones, but Nellaime waltzes through the historic graveyard as she would saunter through a flower garden.

Despite the spooky feeling, it’s not scary. The hermtis feel a sense of calm respect among the gates. Rare flowers bloom at the entrances of mausoleums, trees sprouting from burial mounds. Candles provide light along the well cared pathway, and a child runs by, smiling as he trips and hugs an ancestor’s gravestone.

From the mist, a glowing form appears, hugging the boy back. The ghost settles down in the grass, chatting with the family. Nellie continues past, deeper into the heart of the graveyard, seemingly bigger on the inside. The tombs age the deeper they walk, until Nellie stops at a raised crypt. Carved in the ancient coral stone, two smiling faces rest on their backs, the women’s hands intertwined at the center. Nellie skips onto the tombstone, knocking on the nose of the other kipling. “My sweet Cielle, you have visitors! More fans of yours!”

The eyes blink open, misty blue lashes fluttering. A noncorporeal form drifts from the stone crypt, dress flowing from existing to not, strong arms reaching over and hugging her wife. “You always make friends so fast. Living or dead, you just make people smile. Just like lighting up my life, my little ghost light.”

“Not in front of guests.” Nellie giggles, her fins fluttering from the sweet kiss.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of such…” Cielle looks the three up and down. “Unique visitors upon my grave?”

“Are you really the only person who has made it out of the Forest of Memories alive?” Xisuma wastes no time, which causes both ladies to titter.

“No, though I know Nellie here likes to be hyperbolic. Quite a few people have gone into the Forest without going crazy. But you have to be prepared to enter in.” Cielle leans forward, tugging a ghostly finger through Xisuma’s hair like a mother combing a child’s hair.

“Prepare? What kind of spells do we need? Weapons?” Cub flips through the pages of the book, but it’s in a completely unknown language to him.

“You can prepare yourself physically as long as you like, but it won’t do much. You have to prepare yourself mentally.” Cielle taps her head, and giggles. “See, for me, all I had to do was think about my fiancee back in Corelpi. I dunno how, but it was like a walk through a garden.”

“But there is one place that knows all about the Forest of Memories. Where the most people have entered and returned relatively sane.” Nellaime grins, a few locks of hair falling from her messy bun. Cielle reaches over and fixes the loose locks. “Fielville!”

“Of course,” Xisuma slaps his hand on his head, leaving a bright red mark on his skin. “Druids, insectia, the oldest traditions from the ancient ones are still practiced there.”

“The elder there has entered and exited the Forest of Memories more than even I have- but then again, she lives longer than me, which isn’t fair.” Cielle sits back. “But be warned- no matter how prepared you think you are for that wood, it will be nothing compared to the true might of the forest. You will return with whatever trove you are in search of-” She pauses. “Or you will not return at all.”

#hermitcraft #light of lairyon #lol #hermitcraft fanfic #hermitcraft au #wizard au #wizard hermits #wizard cub #wizard joe #wizard xisuma #cubfan135 #joehills #xisumavoid #xisuma

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vamonumentlandscape · 4 years ago

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Mount Vernon and Charlottesville (again)

Josh’s Perspective:

I have fond memories of going to Mount Vernon when I was about five years old. I remember it was a chilly autumn night, so there was seasonal hot apple cider available. It was delicious! I do not remember much else though, not even the house tour. The visit during our research would allow me to get a better understanding of what the site continues to maintain about America’s first president. I joined Tomi and Dr. Sherayko in starting with the gift shop before heading up to the museum and mansion only to find many massive school groups gathered. Such a sight would have been unthinkable a few months ago, but it is great to see that people of all ages are getting to go out again. Tomi purchased a few items, but I decided to browse. It was enlightening to see books about Ona (Oney) Judge and other enslaved persons owned by the Washington family alongside material about the founding fathers.

When we entered the museum, we decided to start with the exhibit titled Lives Bound Together: Slavery at Washington’s Mount Vernon. Seeing this felt especially appropriate since we visited on Juneteenth, which celebrates the effective end to American slavery two years after the Emancipation Proclamation was signed. The initial film that we watched set the tone for an honest presentation of George and Martha Washington as slave owners. The inclusion of voices from descendants of the enslaved is an indispensable element of the exhibit as they can tell the story of their ancestors better than any historian can. The material culture presented throughout the dim display cases provides visitors an opportunity to see what life was like for the enslaved community of Mount Vernon. There were a few things that did not seem right to me. At every turn, excuses were floated out for Washington. Yes, he expressed concern for the continuation of chattel slavery in the young nation, but he and his family were still slave owners for his entire life. When one of the panels mentioned that Washington only punished the enslaved when necessary, I got frustrated. Just because punishments were used occasionally does not mean he was good to the enslaved. There is no such thing as a good slave owner. George Washington only freed the enslaved persons that he owned upon his death when he did not need them anymore. For someone that our country holds in such high esteem, Washington was still a slave owner. That is an undeniable fact. I appreciated the narratives presented for famous members of the enslaved community at Mount Vernon, such as Ona Judge, Frank Lee, and Hercules. Their stories matter just as much, if not more, than the people that owned them.

After walking through the next exhibit in the Education Center, which was just a shrine to Washington’s military and political career (including a 4-D film experience), we were all unsettled with what Mount Vernon was doing. Monticello had done a much better job in presenting the full history, flaws and accomplishments, of Thomas Jefferson. We headed down towards the tomb of George Washington and the burial ground for the enslaved. I was glad to see that many people gathered around in the area of the enslaved burial ground. The memorial is located around a marker that was placed in 1929 by the Mount Vernon Ladies Association. Since the language was a bit outdated, a new memorial was placed in 1983. It was designed by students of Howard University. So many stories are unknown about the many people buried in this place, and I wish we could know more. Some laminated cards seemed to be out only for Juneteenth informing visitors about a few of the enslaved, but there needs to be a more permanent piece of signage to respect the memory of all. I did appreciate the member of Mount Vernon’s staff playing solemn music on a fife as we paid our respects.

To conclude our visit, we headed back up to the mansion and saw some of the livestock that Mount Vernon cares for along the way. The wait to get inside for the tour took a little longer than any of us were expecting, but we rushed through as soon as we got inside. Some interpreters seemed a bit more knowledgeable than others and the experience was less than satisfactory. There was no real critique of the Washington’s when we were inside the mansion, which needs significant revision. I am not saying that George Washington is on the same level as Jefferson Davis and that we need to remove all statues that were put up in his memory, but we do need to be honest with ourselves. Washington was a man with flaws and his seemingly pristine legacy at Mount Vernon should be complicated. The private organization that owns and interprets the property can do a better job to ensure that everyone can see themselves equally. This may come with serious actions to increase diversity in staff and those that visit.

Though we were all fatigued after the day at Mount Vernon, we made a final stop in Charlottesville before returning to Lynchburg. The George Rogers Clark statue near the University of Virginia is slated to come down later this Summer. The reasoning behind this decision is the depiction of Native Americans. When we saw it in person, I was horrified to see the Native Americans being shown to be subservient and cowering in fear to the explorer on horseback. Colonization had disastrous effects on Native Americans throughout the North American continent. A negative presentation of any tribe or nation does nothing to help the survival of their culture. The University is making the right decision in taking the statue down and discussing a replacement to best honor the culture of the original inhabitants of North America. I am confident that UVA will do the right thing to show that Native Americans anywhere are not cowardly and disappearing people. That kind of monument and education is essential, especially for Virginia groups like the Monacan Indian Nation.

Tomi’s Perspective:

As with most of the sites we have visited, I had not been to Mount Vernon before. I was looking forward to seeing the historic home and museum dedicated to our first president. We entered the gift shop first since we were a little early getting to the site. I picked up quite a few things as I was very impressed with the wide selection of items. My excitement grew after shopping. We walked on a short path to the visitors center and even saw a very cute ram on the way. The funniest part about the whole day was that this little ram would end up being our favorite part of Mount Vernon. The visitors center was packed with guests eager to learn. The staff was kind and pointed us to the maps and audio tour devices. The maps were in a wide array of languages, making the park accessible to a diverse group of visitors. Since I am learning German in the fall and Dr. Sherayko speaks the language, we both picked up one of the German maps for fun. As we were looking where to go, the beginning of our misgivings with Mount Vernon began. The map was not very well done and I got extremely frustrated with this as it was not to scale. Josh and Dr. Sherayko both thought my map frustrations were funny, but by the end of the day we were all feeling that way towards Mount Vernon.

After deciphering the ultra confusing map, we ended up at the museum. We were all very excited to see the Lives Bound Together exhibit on Washington and the enslaved. This exhibit was a breakthrough for the organization as it came out in 2016. It was only supposed to last one year, but the foundation got grants for it to spend extra time in the museum. Once the pandemic hit, the exhibit was extended again. It will finally go on as a travelling exhibit after July 11, 2021. As soon as you walk in you are faced with large panels in a circular room with Washington’s bust in the middle. All of the panels detail the “complex and painful” story of slavery at Mount Vernon. Each of them was honest and told truths about Washington’s slaveholding that had not been shared so explicitly before. One of the hardest hitting facts was that there were over 500 enslaved people at Mount Vernon over Washington’s lifetime. In the beginning here, we noted that it also said he freed his 123 slaves in his will and that he was the only founding father to do so. Though this is true, this fact was unpacked a little more as we went through. The exhibit itself was long and had a lot of reading. This one exhibit was in a space the size of the Tredegar Civil War Museum’s exhibition room. For us, having seen so many different sites over the past few weeks, we know that to truly grasp your typical tourist an exhibit cannot be so long winded. Of course Josh, Dr. Sherayko, and I analyzed the panels as best we could, but even to us it began to be saturated. The worst part was that there was a lot of repetition. It seemed every panel restated something else in different words. Remember back to the fact I shared earlier: Washington freed his 123 slaves in his will and was the only founding father to do so. As we entered the third room, there was yet another panel on the wall about this, but this time there was more to this fact in smaller print than before. Yes, Washington did free his slaves in his will, the ones that he owned himself, but not after his death. In his will his slaves were to be freed at the time of Martha Washington’s death. Mind you, not only did Martha own slaves, but she had over 30 enslaved people she had inherited from her family. Martha owned 153 slaves when Washington died. Why was this mentioned in small print? Just as Josh mentioned our concerns over the extended praise the exhibit was giving to Washington, this was another part that did not sit well with the group. The long, repetitive, overly praising, and not so clear Lives Bound Together exhibit was overall very disappointing. It is wonderful they are talking about the lives of the enslaved and including descendants, but we all feel like the exhibit could have been much better.

After experiencing Lives Bound Together, we went to the other part of the museum entirely devoted to Washington. Sadly, it was hard for me to enjoy the very patriotic exhibits to Washington. I do believe that we can look at the legacies of our founding fathers and be proud of their brilliance in creating the United States. But, it was very hard for me to do so when there isn’t complete honesty about their slaveholding pasts. When comparing the honesty of Monticello and Montpelier, Mount Vernon was subpar. I wished that I could have enjoyed our 4-D experience, the walk through Revolutionary times, and all of Washington’s history, but I could not.

On our way to the mansion tour, we made a few stops at the enslaved peoples exhibits. These were well done in preserved Slave Quarters. This was enlightening to see after the experience we had in the museum. It was interesting to note that there had once been a store dedicated to Martha Washinton in one of the Slave Quarters. It was still on the map and there was still a sign on the door, but it seemed to have been closed for a while. I wish I would have asked one of our guides why this was changed. We were all happy to see many visitors by the enslaved peoples quarters and learning about their roles at Mount Vernon. After this, we walked to the enslaved people’s burial grounds and to the Washington’s family tomb. Of course it was moving to see the site of our first president's burial, but when we walked over to the enslaved people’s cemetery, we were all moved to near tears. With a flutist playing Amazing Grace and other beautiful songs as we observed the solemn site, we read through some of the stories of those who were buried there. It was powerful to stand where so many men and women that had once been forgotten about, but now remembered by name, had been laid to rest.

After climbing the hill from the cemetery, we were only 10 minutes away from our house tour. Sadly, they were running very behind and our tour that was supposed to be at 2:10 ended up being at 2:30. During those 30 minutes standing in the heat, Dr. Sherayko filled the time by teaching us new German words like enttäuscht. The house tour only lasted 15 minutes and was quite an odd experience. In the first room, our tour guide slipped up and used the word “servant” to describe the enslaved population. In the end she corrected herself, but that shows where Mount Vernon’s interpretation has been. Going through the home quickly, seeing the horrid green paint on one of the walls that was said to be Washington’s favorite, and then to end with a really odd tour guide sealed the deal for us to head home from Mount Vernon.

On our way out we stopped by the new Ona Judge National Historic Sign. I was beautifully done and we were so happy to end such an up and down day at Mount Vernon on such a high note. Josh and I were happy to end our trip smiling together in front of this wonderful sign.

Despite all of us being deliriously tired, we made a pit stop in Charlottesville to hit Trader Joe's and grab dinner. At dinner Dr. Sherayko reminded us of a statue we forgot to see on The Corner at UVA that is due for removal. Even though we were all spent, we made the trip. The statue of Revolutionary War hero George Rogers Clark does little to show his heroism. He is best known for defeating the British in quite a few battles and earning the French’s trust, but he also has another legacy that is shown in the monument to him. “CONQUEROR OF THE WEST” is the title given to Clark as he sits on his horse, reaching for a weapon to use against Native Americans. Clark fought and took Native American land in many battles. After the Revolution he was even given the position as Indian Commissioner. Though this statue may accurately represent one of his legacies, it puts it in a celebratory light. Celebrating the destruction of indigenous peoples lands, people, and assets is nothing to be proud of and have a statue for. We are all quite happy UVA is choosing to take this statue down.

After grabbing some delicious ice cream at Kilwins, we randomly saw Dr. d’Entremont, our American History professor, walking across the street. I embarrassingly stuck my head out of the window and called out to him. We pulled over and chatted about what we all were doing in Charlottesville. He mentioned to us another site we should check out that is actually no longer there anymore. There was a Confederate statue on the courthouse lawn that was removed last summer. There isn’t even a base left, so in our initial trip we would have had no idea to look for it. We all mosied up the street together and looked where the old statue used to be. We ran into a resident of apartment buildings right across the street who expressed fond memories of the old statue, the Lee statue that was only a few blocks away, and the Clark statue. She told us about walks along this street with families, how there would be a live nativity scene at Lee Park, and how her fathers law office was right across from the Clark statue. She understood mostly why they were being taken down, she said, but she felt like it robbed her of childhood memories. We all listened to her touching story, but what she may not understand is that there is a significant population of African Americans and other citizens who are unable to have such fond memories. These statues that are entrenched in the Lost Cause and have racist sentiments leaving the monument landscape allow for a more inclusive community where all can create similar memories to hers.

#mount Vernon #Washington #Martha #George #ona judge #history #virginia #monument #important

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smolbeandrabbles · 5 years ago

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Loser Like Me - Intern!Nolan Sorrento x Reader (Ready Player One)

GIF Credit: X @crawlingmist @mandy23b @wltz-bby @happyskywhale #MendoTagSquad

Babe you’re platinum all the way

Author’s Note: Before we even begin - Mini Series for sure! Also I’ve never seen anyone do this before me, so here we are!

I know by now if you’ve been following this blog for any length of time you know how much I love this man. With my heart and soul. However - there’s a particular scene in the movie I just... really don’t like. It’s the Intern scene. I won’t go into a whole lot of detail, but it hits me deep on a personal level, and I hate that it’s played for laughs. I thought it needed some ‘rectifying’! And came up with this little series. 😊 I really hope you enjoy taking this journey with Nolan, as much as you have my others!

Disclaimer: RPO characters/storyline not mine / whilst following what they did with him in the movie, some of this will be influenced by Lacero (because of course it will!)

I wanted to write a quick note about his age! I headcanon every Mendo that does not have a canon age as the same age Ben was when the movie was shot. So... For RPO that’s about 46/47. Making Nolan 47 in 2045. The intern scene takes place in 2025. Making Nolan, as stated in the fic, 27.

Premise: Nolan Sorrento has a head full of dreams that he’s sure will be actioned by the OASIS creators any day now. But fetching coffee is all anyone at Gregarious Games thinks Nolan is good at. Lucky for him, you see things a little differently...

Words: 6397

Warnings: In general - people being douches to Interns. / swearing

_____

Yeah, you may think that I'm a zero But hey, everyone you wanna be Probably started off like me You may say that I'm a freak show But hey, give it just a little time I bet you're gonna change your mind

All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way It ain't so hard to take, that's right 'Cause I know one day you'll be screaming my name And I'll just look away, that's right

Push me up against the locker And hey, all I do is shake it off I'll get you back when I'm your boss I'm not thinkin' 'bout you haters 'Cause, hey, I could be a superstar I'll see you when you wash my car

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth So everyone can hear Hit me with the worst you've got and knock me down Baby, I don't care Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out You wanna be, You wanna be A loser like me

---

The alarm went off at 6:40am. As it did every day – but Nolan Sorrento was already half way ready, and had to skid out of the bathroom to snap it off, before any of his neighbours complained again. Sometimes he just couldn’t sleep – and he felt it probably wiser to just get up and get on. Sorrento’s head was full of ideas, ideas that he knew would help him make it big someday. Hopefully right here where he worked, at Gregarious Games… once he got a job that wasn’t an internship, that was. And - when he wasn’t fetching coffee, or running papers, or trying to book meeting rooms and call other people that worked around the company as requested by those higher up - Nolan would sit with his notebook and plot out what his future would look like, and the tech he would use to get there, whether it be available right now, just within reach, or something that one day he’d be at the forefront of making. He dreamed, because right now that was all he could do. Nolan had a job and that was enough to be thankful for, he had his life… which was more than could be said for some people. Sweeping back into the bathroom he studied himself in the mirror for a moment with a small sigh. He liked to give himself a daily pep-talk, because there wasn’t anyone else that was going to do that for him either. ‘Okay, Nolan, you got this. For real this time – they’ll ask you to fetch coffee and then you can walk in and be like… Guys! Your OASIS project – what about if you did this-!? How can they not love it? Maybe they’ll bump you to tech? Maybe they’ll make you a partner!’ It hadn’t worked out for him so far, but he could dream – maybe today was the day! He gave himself a firm nod, running his hand through his thick dark blonde hair to neaten it (at least the highlights were going to look good once he got into proper lighting!) and then dashed from the bathroom again; throwing a suit jacket on – that didn’t match his outfit but was good enough – he looped his pass around his neck, grabbed his keys and his satchel before heading out of the door. No time for breakfast, he’d think about that later! First things first; getting into the office. It was still nerve wreaking for him to walk up to that office with coffee; it used to give him shakes just thinking about maybe getting the coffee order wrong, but now he knew he had that down. Nolan knew that Gregarious Games was on the verge of something not just great, but phenomenal. People all around the company treated it’s two founders like Gods, and Nolan knew exactly why – he was doing the same. They were creating the seemingly impossible; giving people an escape from the hell that everyone was living. The longer he was here, the more Nolan gained confidence – Morrow at least knew his name now, and he was also privy to the fact that not everyone got to interact with these two as much as he did. It came to the point where he actually liked being asked to fetch coffee for them, because he’d get to try out a new idea. “-What about this-?” “Maybe later, Nolan, thanks for the coffee…” “But I really think the OASIS could just use-” “Thanks, Nolan. Really, but it’s a busy time.” “Well maybe-” “Nolan…” Then he had to walk from the room with a deep breath and try not to get so disheartened. No matter, there would always be tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that… on into infinity. But Sorrento smiled gently, one day he’d come up with something that would be so mind-blowing they would have to listen to him! And he was getting close, he was sure of it. With that thought, he jogged back down the stairs, confidence sky high. “Oh-! Nolan-!” He turned to the voice calling him, “Yes?” “Could you come help me with something… I’m not exactly sure what I’ve done wrong on this presentation… I just can’t fix it…” “Sure-!” “OH. And, whilst you’re at it, would you mind picking up my printing? Thanks, Nolan!” He blinked several times watching them walk away passed the printer, and then sighed again – well, he still had a ways to go yet…

Nolan was aware that there were people in this company who didn’t like him, that thought he was strange. The pop culture he consumed was obscure at best, or... not obscure enough at worst. Nolan liked the modern stuff, the early millennium. The remnants of Y2K... where everyone lost their heads thinking computers and clocks would all stop working. Apparently, that wasn’t highly valued, and everyone thought that the 80s was where it was at. Nolan wasn’t sure of that himself, and thought maybe most of them were just posturing because that was the era that Halliday and Morrow were obsessed with. It made sense; they’d grown up in that time. Nolan was just far more nostalgic for things he’d grown up with - than a time he didn’t even really know.

Other people he figured didn’t like him for other reasons, but he’d never quite got the opportunity to find out what those were. Only that it felt a lot like being shoved up against a high school locker again. And he was 27. There were a couple in particular that liked to get physical; only this time they decided to do it when he was carrying two full cups of coffee. “Whoops-” “Shit! Sorry-!” As if he sounded anywhere near it. “It’s okay though right, that’s your job, you can just make more.” If he wasn’t already on a time limit, “And clear that up whilst you’re at it.” “What do you get a full employee badge for making coffee anyway?” “Oh no-! You read that wrong mate, it’s just an intern one.” “Ah-! Not permanent then? Coffee can’t be that good-!” “Less permanent now-!!!” Nolan bit his lips together, because he knew what would happen if he retaliated, these two were full time employees that (probably) had way more important jobs than he did. He knew which one of them was more likely to be walked out of the door after a confrontation, and he needed this.

“Do you two assholes want to leave him the fuck alone-!?” They all turned, to an impatient looking woman standing with her arms crossed. And this would be a moment that, although he didn’t know it yet, would go down in history in Nolan Sorrento’s life. For this was the moment he met you. You could not have been glaring at them both harder - and felt that for the man stuck in the middle, it was pretty fortunate that you walked by. “Y-Y/N-!” “Don’t give me that, why don’t you go bother someone else-!?” “But he-!” “Is trying to get coffee from point A to point B, I didn’t realise Gregarious games hired children these days that would be such a hindrance. Why don’t you get back to your desks and do your jobs-!?” They didn’t dare argue with you – skulking off, although muttering profusely. And Nolan was nearly speechless, but also realised there was coffee all over the floor: “Ah-! Ahhh-! Shoot-!” “No, no, no...!!” You moved towards him, hands gently pushing him back to standing; “I got this, you go make them again...!” “No, no, I can’t leave you to-” “Nolan, it’s okay... I got this...” He stopped suddenly; now he would know if he’d seen you before. He would. Nolan was good with things like that. He opened his mouth, but you ushered him back towards the kitchen; “I’ll help in a moment, just let me do this!”

Sorrento didn’t know what else to do but wait for you in the kitchen, by now he probably could have gone outside and got a coffee order, but in you walked, throwing away whatever you’d used to tidy up the spillage. “Good thing I like the smell of coffee...” You wiped your hands and turned to him, with a gentle smile; “Sorry about those guys. They’re self-entitled assholes who shouldn’t have the jobs that they do. Alas, I am not a hiring manager... are you alright?” “Oh, it’s nothing I can’t handle.” You nodded, “I can see that.” “F-forgive me, Y/N...” that is what they’d called you, “but...” “Oh; I’ve heard all about you - Nolan Sorrento. And your ideas!” He looked away for a moment, aware that he was blushing, “But also that you make one hell of a cup of coffee...” that just made him blush harder. “You also do a little bit of work in my department, so I’ve seen you around. I could use a mind like yours, y’know? Maybe I’ll have to get you in for experience...” You nodded to the half-made coffee; “I’ll help, if you teach me how the boys upstairs like it.” “Oh... y-yeah sure...” Nolan moved aside as you crossed the kitchen, “What’s your department?” “Technology. So, they do all the ideas and spec and testing, and my team codes it. We also run all diagnostics on errors, though the less we see of those the better!” “Your team-!?” “I like manage like 2 people, it’s nothing.” But Nolan was staring at you like all his wildest dreams had come true. “...Wow. That’s... that’s incredible-!” “If I could get the right people in my team, it’d be more so...” You eyed him curiously, “And somehow you’re only an intern?” “I’ll take what I can get.” You giggled “Until one of the big plans comes off?” “Yeah I guess...” That faint shade of pink was back “I admire that.” “What?” “The confidence to tell Halliday and Morrow your thoughts. The imagination it takes to have ideas like that. It’s cutting edge stuff, Nolan. I couldn’t do that - I am more... the girl who executes the idea. And turns your dream into a virtual reality... but I don’t have such a knack for original content.” You gave him another sweet smile that had him turning quickly back to the coffee; “Now why don’t you teach me how to do this - and I’ll explain why it’s a little late.” “Y-yeah... lets... do that!” ***

Overall Nolan was pretty harmless, he kept himself to himself and did every task that was asked of him. You made a point of finding him to say hello, and chat to him for a few minutes every time you passed his desk. And you noticed that when you approached him he always looked quiet and subdued, but by the time you moved on he was joyful and animated and it always hurt you to have to move on. Still the smile on his face didn’t fade after that. He was full of endless enthusiasm, and more importantly than that – something you felt Gregarious aught to be paying attention to – he was hungry, if work didn’t come to him he’d seek it out, Nolan certainly wasn’t afraid of doing that. Every so often he’d be walking by with someone and you’d catch a snippet of another great idea that filled his head – but more often than not was met with “That’s great, Nolan, but…” You were amazed to see this didn’t deter him; sure he’d look disappointed, but he didn’t give up. Sorrento’s attitude and personality intrigued you, and one afternoon when he was leaving for another coffee run, you made a point of walking with him. That soon became habit, as did joining him for lunch. It didn’t win you a lot of friends, and more often than not you’d be asked ‘What the hell are you thinking!?’ ‘Yeah, Y/N! You actually have talent!’ ‘Nolan Sorrento is never gonna amount to anything. He’s pushing 30 and all he does is make coffee.’ You didn’t understand why, or how, anyone in this office could pick on him. And why everyone just let them get away with it. Your defence of him was ruthless. “He’s a fucking INTERN, not a coffee boy – oh my god! It’s about time someone actually taught him something about the business. Nolan’s got a head full of ideas and if no one else is gonna utilize him, I fucking will – because it only takes one job ad or someone to recognise what he has and he’ll be off to IOI!” “They can have him.” “You know what, screw all of you! When Nolan’s running this place and you’re all begging for jobs, I hope to God he remembers what you did to him.”

Nolan was wasted here. But you didn’t want him to be wasted here; he was at times a little too unconventional for your game makers, given his little corner of pop culture (not that he’d opened up to you a lot about that, but occasionally you got a glimpse of it by what he referenced and laughed at), or a little too ‘business’ for your co-founders - monetization was practically a curse word… Yet Nolan had a mix of talent that barely anyone else in this company did, and no one was giving him a chance to use it. Worse still to you – an Intern, who should be learning everything the business has to offer and be given every opportunity to get stuck into it, was doing not a lot more than fetching and filing paperwork. And sure, you were younger than him, but you wanted to take this into your own hands.

“Hey!” A smile was already present on his face before he looked up; “Hey!” “You busy today?” You folded your arms on top of his desk divider; Nolan looked a little shifty; suspicious of you for a minute. “I mean, I got plenty to be getting on with…” You gave a disappointed sigh; “Aw, see I really needed your help with something.” “…Really!?” He wasn’t about to hide that shock – Nolan hadn’t done anything directly tech related for your department before, and that was your exact remit. “Yeah, but if you-” “No, no!” He stood, “I’d love to help, that’s what I’m here for, right?” You couldn’t help yourself, and giggled, “Did you just become un-busy?” “…Yeah. Yes, I think so.” Nolan placed his hands in his pockets with a grin, and waited for you to tell him what to do; “Awesome, let me show you around tech central!” You beckoned him to walk with you, “And for the record, no, I was pretty sure intern meant you were also here to learn, and I’ll be damned if I don’t teach you something. How’s your coding?” “Not a strong suit.” “What did you study?” “Uh… Business and economics… just touching on computing as a minor… why?” You turned back to him very nearly shocked; “At College!?” “Uhm. Yes?” He’s a College grad and we have him paper pushing, my God, no one is ever hearing the end of this! But you just nodded, “What’s the dream Nolan?” He became bashful, looking away from your face for a moment, as if he didn’t dream – or as if every dream he’d been working for was suddenly stupid; “Uh. I…” “C’mon, everyone has one…” You touched his arm delicately, “Hand on heart, ten years from now, when you’re close to 40, where do you wanna be?” Sorrento looked a little affronted by your close to 40 remark but held his tongue; “Uh. I guess, I’d like to be in charge of a company like this one.” “Good man, right answer.” You swept him into another room – a neat row of 5 desks on one side, and one on the other – no barriers between you – the single desk was covered with paperwork; in the centre a flashing image, highlighting what various coding pieces were about to address in game. You indicated for him to sit at a desk in the row of five, and joined him. “And you?” “None of my dreams are really to do with work…” You shook your head, “I mean, sure I’d like a couple of promotions but I’m kinda okay where I am – as long as I still love what I’m doing. I’d just like to help people, you know? And the OASIS might help people… So,” you breathed, “I’d like to make people happy, and I don’t know how measurable that is, but I think I’d feel pretty good in ten years’ time if I managed that!” Nolan watched you for a second, and your gentle smile, and wondered if you’d even realised that for him at least you’d already completed that goal. Maybe he’d keep that back, for now – but he knew that in ten years’ time he wanted to look back on this moment with you and say “I was your first! You might not know, but it was me!” *** You set him a series of tasks and challenges and, as you did so, explained his way through them, who they were for and the effect that doing them would have on the business or the OASIS itself. Your team kept to themselves but you’d let them do that for now, the group was a little insular and he was an outsider right now, they’d warm to him; you worked with nice guys – not like the assholes who behaved like grade schoolers. Every so often, performing your own tasks, you would ping Nolan a calendar invite. “…What’s that?” He would ask you, and you would tell him “Oh! That’s a meeting with the Head of Marketing… Finance… Engineering… PR and Communications… HR…”, the list was endless – but if you had to create an intern program for him for yourself, you damn well would. You were a little more social and a little more pushy, so you knew you could get him working in all the teams and on projects that actually meant something – starting with your own, then he’d have something to show for it. All he needed was a little boost and a shot to his confidence and Nolan would be away; it was already obvious that he believed in his ideas enough – now you wanted to give him the knowledge to back it all up, and finally let him use what he already knew.

By the end of the first day Nolan was a little worried that he hadn’t finished all the tasks you had set, and as your team packed up and left for the night, he looked nervous. “Nolan, you okay?” “…I mean I… I still have a few things to do- I-I’ll finish them, I guess I might just be a little late.” You sighed; “Nolan, you’re an intern, honey – you don’t get paid overtime, just finish them tomorrow – It’s fine.” “…T…Tomorrow.” He swivelled his chair to you but didn’t dare look hopeful, “You want me back?” “Yes, of course I want you back, I told you I need you right now! With all that’s going on so close to launch we’re getting stretched pretty thin, and what better place for you to get stuck in than the midst of all this! I mean you’re getting coffee for ‘em, might as well get your line of code in the finished product too, right?” You stood, slipping your jacket on, “That desk is empty, by the way. I don’t really like the idea of you sitting alone out there…” Blush dusted his cheeks again, “You sure they won’t mind?” You scoffed; “Nolan, by the end of the first week they won’t even notice you didn’t sit there before today! Now come on! Go home!” You were right of course, and by day three your team of two were saying good morning to him, and asking how his evening had been. It took Nolan a little while to answer, because he just wasn’t used to it. By the end of the first week it was ’We’re just heading out for coffee, would either of you like anything-!?’ which you liked, because yes, someone should be asking him which coffee he wanted instead of him fetching it. And by the end of week two you were all sitting together at lunch, and when everyone took a five-minute break, Nolan got to participate in office banter and shit talking. “Guys! May I remind you that our office doesn’t have a door-!” “Oh come on, Y/N! You out of all of us are the one most likely to go off on these idiots!” Nolan turned to you, “You do have a tendency to come back from meetings, throw your notebook down and proceed to tell us how much you hate everyone.” “OHHH!!” The other two started howling with laugher, “OH! He’s got ya, Y/N!” “First off I hate all of you! Second, I also hate that you’re all right-!” But you liked this, and you already knew it was doing wonders for him. Sure, from time to time people would swing by and ask if they could take him off you for a second, and he did still do the infamous coffee run; but you let him go at his own discretion. What you were happy to see, was that his old desk started clearing, and Nolan’s files and notes, and everything he’d had on it managed to find its way into your little side room. That’s when coffee started appearing on your desk every morning. Nolan was always in before you, and had clearly expertly memorised your coffee order. At first you thought it was a simple and sweet one off, but it kept happening. Upon telling him he really didn’t have to do it for you, Nolan would smile and say; “Oh! It’s really the least I can do. After all, look at all you’ve already done for me…” Still, you became grateful to see the cups, and as you sat contentedly with them before you started the day you always noticed him beaming out of the corner of your eye; you only liked to pretend you didn’t. About three weeks into Nolan’s stint with you, the project you had him working on was nearing completion, and your intern was fretting about if you’d have him move. “Nolan, you don’t need to panic – you can still sit with us, there’ll still be plenty for you to do here. Besides like I say, once we finish this everyone is going to want to work with you anyway – and seen as you’ve had most of the introductions, there will be things from them to work on – so you can get your holistic business overview!” He’d been through most of the meetings that you’d set up – and as you suspected, some of them weren’t even aware there was an intern to give any work to, leaving the program entirely in your hands. Your boss didn’t seem to mind too much, and it wasn’t interfering with what you were doing otherwise. Eventually you just let Nolan get on with the meetings himself, and given his background all you seemed to gain from it was positive feedback. ‘He’s great!’ ‘I know. But tell him that!’ You thought he was ready for his big break; and breaks didn’t come much bigger than this one; “Hey, Nolan, you’re on first name basis’ with Halliday and Morrow right?” He raised an eyebrow curiously, “Yeah, I guess.” “I got a feeling you know this project pretty damn well by now.” The two in the corner turned to give positive affirmation to this statement. “Uh huh?” He tipped his head, intrigued as to where this might be going – although the looks on their faces told you they already knew; “How’d you like to help me present it to them next week?” ***

If this was the chance that he had been waiting for, then it was huge. Nolan didn’t show it, not on his face, nor in his stance. He was two steps ahead of you on the presentation but he always asked if what he’d done was okay, and everything you told him to add or take out he considered very carefully. “You didn’t have to do this all yourself, you know.” “I just wanted to take pressure off the team. I dunno, if one person works on it, I guess it also looks a little more polished.” You let him have that, and what he created in the end was one of the best presentations you’d ever seen. Using space effectively, but also very minimalist. “Slides don’t matter so long as you explain them, that’s the backing. You’re the draw.” “Someone paid attention in class-!” He beamed at your recognition, “Yeah. I did.” So it was no surprise to you that he presented well. Except Nolan didn’t just present well, he presented to Halliday and Morrow like a professional – and at every moment you got, you allowed yourself to simply be in awe of him. Where was this man when everyone else was being a total jerk? The different between Nolan now commanding the room, and the soft-spoken intern who liked to float his ideas around desperately when given even the smallest margin of opportunity was staggering – they were poles apart and even his smile was confident. If this was a technique Sorrento had perfected, he was damn good at it – but part of you wanted to steal a little of that confidence and inject it into his personality. The presentation ended, and you both took questions; the more technical they became the further you were in your element, and you got to close out by yourself. It would have all been perfect, had someone not thrown in a comment about Nolan finally talking about someone elses ideas. You decided to let it go just this once, because you probably couldn’t have been prouder of him. Nolan had done much the same to you as you had been doing to him when it was your turn to do the talking – and with all your focus elsewhere he couldn’t help but stare at you. He could do it for an elongated period of time when he was standing here; with the type of smile on his face that he assumed you only saw in really sappy old movies. At first he thought it was just nerves, you were kind and sweet and friendly and for the first time since Nolan had started he felt really included in Gregarious. That was before you dragged him into your team, and he knew that from this project alone – and the way you continually alluded to his work even through this presentation – that you were getting him all the exposure he would need. But it wasn’t just a nervous disposition, it wasn’t just because you saw him and what he was capable of, but you made him smile. Really smile. And that smile was on his face from the minute he set about getting ready for work, to late at night as he was falling into bed. Even just looking at you now Nolan consciously realised how much he did think about you – how much more you made him enjoy work. You’d done so much for him and he realised he wasn’t even sure the right way to go about thanking you. Still, Nolan wasn’t so sure he just wanted to thank you. Would you even be interested in being anything more than friends with him? – that just came with the risk of losing you completely. And for a second that hurt, because Nolan couldn’t. He couldn’t risk it. Not even when he felt this strongly; saying anything jeopardised his happiness. Right now, he couldn’t afford that. Even if you said ‘just friends’ - surely things could never be the same… It made his question answering a little distracted, but then, even you seemed a little unfocused until you got into your stride; then his smile came back, and Nolan got to watch you do what you did best. *** You left the room and immediately punched the air “YES! YES! NOLAN! YOU DID IT!!!” You shook his arm, “Oh my god-! You were so good!” You were elated; not only had he been particularly commended on his effort, but several people in the room had already asked if he could help them in their areas. Nolan accepted them all, of course, because he knew as well as you did that once he had all the tools and proved himself, those ideas in his head were one step closer to being a reality. And then maybe Halliday and Morrow would finally put them to use in the OASIS. One step at a time Nolan – he breathed – you made it this far but you have a little while to go. Your dreams have to wait a little longer, but… she gets it, finally someone gets it! Nolan laughed nervously, “Yeah it… it was pretty great-! It felt good, for sure. And you were impeccable, I need to brush up on my technicalities.” “You’ll get there. But you-! Where did that come from? How do you even present like that!? You gotta teach me, I’m not a natural presenter at all.” Nolan wasn’t one for letting you compliment him without continuously fielding them back. You both had to compromise and take credit here-! “WHAT-!? No, no, you present really well… I just… I dunno I guess I kinda find standing up there and throwing a project out to a waiting world kinda… easy.” You couldn’t help but agree with him, thinking on it for a moment, maybe that’s why he was known so much for ideas around here. For the way Nolan would always pitch them; even though his personality would make him out to be a quiet wallflower who did as he was told. Your team were waiting for you when you got back, and seeing you both joking together made them look at one another with knowing smiles. They wondered if you even realised it yourselves yet. You’d been oblivious before, they’d seen it – but Nolan was positively swooning. Yet, you were giving off vibes like you were interested. They’d grabbed a spare packet of confetti from the last time one of the team had a birthday, and as you both entered the room laughing they were staring you down. “I feel like we don’t need to ask, but how did the presentation go-!?” “Well, really… REALLY well!” Nolan flashed a grin, causing them to give each other the same knowing look before laughing themselves and throwing confetti everywhere. “Congratulations-! We knew it!!” For a minute he looked at a loss and you were laughing, quickly explaining the significance of throwing confetti whenever anyone did a good job – although you also had black confetti tucked somewhere for a slightly more ironic version of the celebration. It just made things in the team a little more fun. “OH.” He said, as if he immediately understood and ‘of course how could it be anything else? Teams always do this!’ - but Nolan did smile. “I guess it’s back to it now, right?” “OH NO!” Sorrento also noted your team had their coats on, “You don’t think you’re getting away with just confetti – do ya Nolan-!? It’s celebration time-! We’re going to the BAR!” “Oh?” He wanted to say the bar wasn’t really him, that he was a one drink and go kinda guy, and that really he ought to be saving any money he made and not drinking it… But you were pulling your jacket on too and that made him torn. Again they turned to each other, and they almost wanted to lock the both of you in here until you figured it out yourselves, so they did the next best thing. “Well, you two come when you’re ready.” “Guys, it’s gonna take us like five seconds…” You scanned your emails quickly, but as nothing was urgent opted to sign off. “No, no! Take your time!” “Besides, you know how crowded it gets down at Campari’s, Y/N, we’ll get a table!” “First rounds on me!” You shook your head after them, and turned back to Nolan, tentatively pulling on his coat. “You know, you don’t have to come.” “No- I- It’s for us right, I feel like I should.” “Nolan, it’s alright, really – I’m not the greatest drinker, I’ll have one and head home. Okay, maybe I’ll get a round, it’s my team but… honestly, if bars aren’t your scene.” Nolan shook his head vigorously, blonde hair flying for a moment, meaning he had to scrape it back off his face, slight blush maintained; “No. I want to come. Maybe we can leave together and just have one, right?” “That’s good with me.” You smiled, “But trust me, you do not have to stay.” By the time you got outside they were long gone, and you debated for a moment calling a taxi, before you decided it was better to just walk it and use the exercise. “Man-! I forgot something-!” Nolan turned to you as you suddenly stood stock still on the pavement, “Do you wanna go back?” “No.” You shook your head turning to him, “I forgot to tell you something.” His face immediately turned puzzled, and he straightened before leaning slightly away from you; “What?” You took a deep breath, before beaming, “How proud I am of you. And what you’ve achieved. That I’m just… lucky to have a friend like you… really lucky. We’re pretty like-minded, but different enough for it to work. And I really like being with you Nolan, it makes me happy. I’m probably the happiest I’ve been in a long time and… relaxed and… wow… oh my god…” Your smile faded slowly and your eyes widened, you weren’t looking at his face, or in fact anything at all and you could forget about talking. All you’d succeeded in doing was confusing him; his heart did nothing but sink at the word friend, and for a minute Nolan decided he would have to accept defeat… But suddenly you were talking like him – like the way he felt about you – and it was pouring, until you stopped. Why had you stopped when there was so much more to say? Or Nolan hoped there was – but then did he dare even hope-!? He didn’t hold his breath. You pulled your eyes back to him, and suddenly everything made sense. EVERYTHING made sense, and maybe you were trying to repress it, or you didn’t want to see what you thought you saw. Perhaps you just thought it’d be inappropriate considering, and you didn’t want people thinking you were helping him because of your feelings – but because Nolan Sorrento was worth helping. Now you were standing on a street in the middle of Columbus, Ohio, staring at each other and one thing was clear to you; Nolan projected his feelings. But Nolan wasn’t acting on them. No matter.

You stepped forward, minimal gap though there was between you - because of the way you walked together, shoulders almost always brushing - closing instantly as you pulled him into you. Pushing up on your toes your lips touched his. Nolan froze – he wasn’t even sure of the way he should react. Well – in his head he knew plenty, hold you, pull you closer, kiss you back at the very least!, but his brain would not compute the actions to the rest of his body; he was shocked. Because this was really happening. Nolan could count the number of girlfriends he’d had on one hand, one finger even and it’d never been serious. He also didn’t need both hands to count the number of kisses he’d received – and if he was honest, how many of those were real? How many of them were dares the other party never really wanted to be involved with in the first place? Sorrento didn’t want to dwell on that, and closed his eyes, but if he didn’t do something you would let him go and all too soon. That thought compelled him to wind his arms around you. His kiss back was tentative, as he made sure that was okay to do, but you didn’t pull away from him – encouraged Nolan held you a little tighter. His stomach was full of butterflies and when he thought on it later, all his dreaming didn’t even come close to this feeling – more nervous and more confident than he’d ever been in his entire life. Part of him wanted to go back to his apartment, slam the door and scream in joy (perhaps not, though, that’d only have the neighbours threatening him again) – maybe he could just do that in his head. But right now, Nolan was holding you, and that was all that really mattered. You let each other go gently, both a little breathless, both a little blushy, and both with no idea what to say next. “N… Nolan?” “Yeah?” “I…” “I know…” but his voice pitched, “Me too.” You giggled, finally stealing a look back to his face; “But I meant it.” He nodded, blush rising, “I-I know that too. You said… everything I’ve… wanted to say.” You nodded along, and both of you laughed as conversation became silence once more. Nolan took a deep breath; “Let’s… uh… they, they’re probably waiting for us.” “Yeah. Yeah, good shout!” But as you continued to walk, this time Nolan held his hand out for yours, and felt elated as you took it, entwining your fingers with his. He knew he would have to take this one step at a time – but his confidence was suddenly sky high, and Nolan felt about ready to take on the world. You watched him walk for a moment, how he even seemed to hold himself better – strides giving him the look of a man on a mission. You couldn’t help but smile as you watched Nolan Sorrento literally change in front of your eyes. You’d been in relationships before, and although that wasn’t what this was yet, you knew that you were in for a wild ride no matter where it headed. But one thing was for sure, you were going to give him the adorably sweet picture-perfect romance that he deserved.

--- Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed! 😊💜

#Nolan Sorrento #Ben Mendelsohn #Ready Player One #Nolan Sorrento x Reader #There will never be enough Nolan Sorrento on my blog #AMANDA - I can't unsee Cody Ko and this feels like cursed information!!#Special Shoutout to Amanda and Joss for the hair discussion!#150!!!#linzi writes #smol bean drabbles #Thank you Amanda for beta reading parts of this... All the way back in March!#Actually theres a lot of wisps of your ideas from our conversations in here...#It... it gets ropey in places but it's got a strong beginning and strong points SO...#Hopefully you enjoy the baby intern-!!#She's a little Lorena but it also feels like Lorena with the personalities flipped

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fallloverfic · 5 months ago

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Tappytoon/Club Jem has open international pre-orders for an ENNEAD Tarot box set and acrylics!

Club Jem, the physical goods store for Tappytoon, who have the digital translations of ENNEAD in English, French, and German, has added pre-orders for Set A of the ENNEAD Tarot and Korotto set!

Club Jem is not seemingly offering Set B at all, with the special acrylic-only box.

If you'd like to purchase Set A from Club Jem, you'll need to make an account with Club Jem. They don't process it through your Tappytoon account.

The sets being sold through Seoul Comics (the official publisher of ENNEAD, where Tappytoon gets the license from) are still up for sale.

Proxies:

Koonbooks

Nemo.IT (Set A only)

Other stuff in the fandom lately:

Seoul Comics made an announcement about sharing screengrabs/caps on twitter due to twitter's gen-AI policies of feeding all material posted onto twitter into twitter's gen-AI programs. Seoul Comics asks that people not share screengrabs of their works on twitter at all, and solely share Seoul Comics' own previews, which have been modified to protect them from gen-AI stuff.

ENNEAD is a nominee for Best Webtoon in the Chill-Chill 2025 BL Awards! Voting ends February 9th, 2025!

Good Smile/Orange Rouge released Seth, Horus, and Osiris plushies for pre-order, with release in mid-2025! Due to at least one data breach seemingly in Good Smile US/their payment servicer, be wary of purchasing from Good Smile US. The company in general has not made any announcements about the breach(s), but since you can buy the plush from most anywhere that sells Good Smile merch, it's best to look around.

Volume 6 of the German ENNEAD release will come out on 25 February 2025! It will also come with a slipcase for volumes 1-6!

Primaniacs has started selling character-themed perfume for Seth, Horus, and Osiris! It's only being sold in their shop in Ginza and shipped domestically, but if you have a proxy, you should be able to get it!

ENNEAD Volumes 1-4 are available for order in English, and 5-6 are available for pre-order! Volume 5 releases 29 April 2025, and volume 6 releases 22 July 2025! Volume 5's release date was pushed back to April. Seven Seas has also seemingly previewed that they're prepared to print season 2.

ACO's audio drama adaptation of season 1 is fully available to purchase digitally episode by episode. You need to buy the whole thing to get the soundtrack.

The English translation for ENNEAD on Tappytoon is on hiatus and will return with Season 2, Episode 109 on February 20th, 2025! The original Korean is ongoing, and Season 2, Episode 114 should be up on February 9th, 2025!

#엔네아드 #エネアド #ennead #boys love manhwa #fallfnewsposts #m/m #ennead by mojito #ennead tarot

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heechulhamster · 6 years ago

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The Truth You Can’t Hide - Junmyeon

KIM JUNMYEON (SUHO) x Fem Reader

Chapter 1 [The Truth You Can’t Hide MASTERLIST]

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 ongoing

You did it so well for six years. You’ve hid your son from the biggest threat of his life. But one mishap led to the biggest secret in your life being face to face with the man you’ve kept him away from all these years - his father.

Mafia!AU, Angst.

You swear it was only five seconds that you shifted your attention from him. You only took your eyes off of him to get money inside your purse while on the checkout counter. The seemingly permanent contact from your hands only parted for a moment to do a seemingly simple task. But now you've surely gotten a headache from turning your head left and right in search for him. Already dizzy walking around the crowded mall in search for Jaejin, your six year old son.

In a mix of adrenaline, worry, and sheer panic, you hastily walked around the perimeter of the store you just ran out of. He's still a small boy, with his height only reaching your hips. He couldn't have reached far given that short amount of time, right? But again, you remember the stamina of an exhilarated toddler who just ate sweets. Jaejin could've stormed off like a blizzard outside of the store in a wink.

A phone on your hand, with him as the lockscreen, you politely asked around seemingly observant people if they've seen him anywhere - all to no avail. You've already approached security and mall personnel to help you search for your son. They told you to wait in the office but how could you just sit there and wait? When the only treasure of your life is wandering God-knows-where?

Where would Jaejin run off to? You try to think positive, discarding the thought that he's already caught by a person or a group who's inherently up to no good. He's just an excited child wanting to run somewhere, maybe somewhere he can play? Bullseye.

Rushing to the toy store, you search for your son. His red pullover and black beanie printed on your mind looking for a similar fit. It was beneath a small crowd dressed formally where you found a small figure wearing a similar description, it's Jaejin for sure - you convinced yourself. Taking a few steps closer, you saw a man sitting close to your son. A wave of nervousness overtook your body, they weren't trying to kidnap your son aren't they?

But stepping closer, the man clad in a khaki coat was no stranger to your eyes.

In fact, he's extremely familiar.

Familiar to a point where he's the spitting image of your son.

"Mama!" You see Jaejin turned to you with a smile on his face which makes his chubby cheeks pop out like an easter bunny. Another pair of eyes were set on you too, one you haven't met in a couple of years - seven years to be exact.

You took in what's happening in front of you. Jaejin is smiling at you as if he received the toy robot he insistently asked you for the past few weeks. And a man that looks almost the same as your son was sitting in front of him, maybe in an attempt to talk to him closer. You're pretty sure you're pale white in shock. It somehow feels like all of Earth and skies conspired for you to face your worst nightmare today.

"She's your mom?" The man in the coat turned back to Jaejin. To which he happily nodded his head to.

"Long time no see." The man exclaimed with your name, turning to you as he stood to meet your gaze.

"Junmyeon..." Your words came out as a plea, an apology, or a cry for help. It was breathy and shaky as if his name was all you mustered to say.

And you thought that your child being kidnapped for ransom was the worst thing that could happen. Here he was, standing and smiling in front of the man you kept him away for a long time.

You're now staring coldly at the man you hid from seven years ago. In front of you was Junmyeon, holding your son - his son.

Junmyeon was only looking for a gift for one of his bodyguard’s daughter. As feared as he is in the industry that he was born and rose into, he had a tender space in his heart for children. So when he heard that one of his dear colleagues’ daughter is turning 7, he wanted to give a special gift.

He was peacefully scanning along the tons of children’s toys, wondering if he’ll ever be able to have his own. Considering his current situation, one that probably won’t change anytime soon, or ever - settling down and building a family was a risk that will paint him red right on the forehead.

Another thing is that he hasn’t found the woman to settle down with. Or maybe he did, but she just didn’t stick around long enough to make his visions into fruition.

He was accompanied by three of his bodyguards, a common protocol and one that he’s already accustomed to at this point. His close friend, Minseok, also tagged along. It was all peaceful wandering until he felt a foreign object bump onto his leg. He looked down, apparently the object wasn’t an object but a child.

Junmyeon crouched down to meet his eye level. Seeing the child’s shocked face, he patted his hands over the latter’s head.

“Are you okay?” He asked the child in front of him. He slowly took in his features and it was oddly familiar. The child looked a little bit like him when he was younger.

The child nodded, “I’m sorry.” The small one bowed in front of him,almost in a ninety degree angle, which made him smile. Okay, maybe a little bit like him was an understatement. The child looked a lot like him, maybe even a splitting image of him when he was younger.

“What’s your name? Are you alone? Where’s your parents?” Junmyeon smiled carefree on the child. Showing his tender side that has been deeply buried.

“I’m Jaejin. My mom is-..” He saw the child look around with worry and panic in his eyes.

“Oh no, you didn’t run away from her don’t you?” Junmyeon already took a liking to Jaejin.

His close friend, Minseok, also knelt down beside him. “We have a bad boy over here, don’t we? Making his mom worried and all?” He exclaimed once more, shuffling the young boy’s hair a little.

“I just want to look for toys…” Jaejin responded with a pout painted on his face, as if he’s already guilty.

“Don’t worry boy, we’ll go and find your mom. What does she look like?” Junmyeon asked once more. “Or you do you want to go and look for your toy first before looking for her?” He knew that it was probably a bad idea, he could be charged for kidnapping or even worse if he bribes the child this way. But seeing a smaller him, a young Junmyeon, made his heart leap in joy.

Jaejin nodded excitedly, “Transformers!” He exclaimed before running off in the toy store, Junmyeon aptly running after the boy.

It didn’t take long for Jaejin to find a robot of his choice, going for the striking Bumblebee. He thought twice about letting a stranger buy things for him, thinking about the warnings and rules his mom set him. How she sternly told him to stay away from unknown people, marking them as danger. But what does a 6 year old boy’s conscience have against a two foot Bumblebee toy?

Junmyeon even felt too comfortable to Jaejin too, even offering him to buy more toys for him.. Almost anything he wanted. Even insisting Jaejin to call him Uncle Jun. Maybe it was due to the strange sense of familiarity he felt - how he sees his young innocent self void of all the corruptions this world, his world, he had to deal with. And somehow, seeing his younger self gave him hope - that maybe he could go back to being that innocent boy ready to do good.

“Mama!” He was caught off guard and brought back to his senses when Jaejin suddenly shouted at a distance. But Junmyeon was more caught off guard when his eyes trailed the boy’s sight.

It’s been seven years since he last saw you. Since you decided to break off things, stating the things he lacked and his apparent inadequacy and absence as a boyfriend - things that he was guilty of and he was ready to fix, yet you refused to give him an opportunity to do so.

And in that moment, he already knew why Jaejin looked too much like him.

Because Junmyeon was already certain that Jaejin was his own blood - his son.

Your eyes wandered off from Junmyeon’s, finding another distinct pair that belonged to one person only. Minseok, another person that you haven’t seen for a while - his mouth agape at the sight unfolding before him. Of course, it doesn’t take a genius to comprehend the situation. The last time you saw Junmyeon was seven years ago, when you two broke up - and now seven years forward, there’s a six year old little boy, a spitting image of him that is, that just called you his mom.

You tried to shake off the situation and approached Jaejin. “Jin, what have I told you about staying by my side and not talking to strangers?” You lightly tugged at your son’s arms, his face slowly looking downwards in guilt and embarrassment.

“Oh come on, I’m not that much of a stranger , Y/N.” Junmyeon suddenly spoke, still standing and towering the both of you crouched down. You didn’t want to look at him yet your body betrayed your mind, his sharp gaze meeting yours. An exact opposite of the soft tone he used just right now when he spoke.

“You know him, Mama?” Jaejin’s eyes suddenly sparkled with that of his youthful innocence, one that you want him to keep for most of his life. One that’s threatened now in the presence of the ghost of your past, just standing beside you.

You stuttered before being able to answer anything to your son. “Uhm, yes. Uncle Jun is an old friend of Mama. You were lucky that it was him who found you. What if it was one of those bad guys? Do you want Mama to be sad if she loses you? Do you want to be taken away from me?” It was a lie, because Junmyeon was one of the bad guys, the worst kind even. And the latter part of your statement was already an insinuation to the current situation you’re in.

“But of course, Uncle Jun wouldn’t let that happen, right Jaejin?” Junmyeon was now already sitting beside you, his hand softly patting Jin’s hair. “Do you want some Ice cream? It’s Uncle Jun’s treat!” He smiled beside you, the way that makes his cheeks pop out and his eyes just vanish - the same way Jaejin smiles.

“Of course samchon!” Jaejin answered enthusiastically, mirroring the smile of the man in front of him. “Mama, please?” He turned to you, wearing that pout that he uses to get things into his favor. Jaejin is a smart kid, very much like his father - very much like Junmyeon.

You were left stunned by the similarities of the two now that you finally see them together. It was more than just the physical aspect but the way they speak, the way they think, the way the both of them get you to do things that you wouldn’t consider at first.

“Your Mama would absolutely say yes, right? Besides, we have a lot to catch up to.” You looked beside you, with that cunning smile from Junmyeon and his eyes full of intense emotions that you’re not quite sure of.

And that was how you found yourself sitting in a diner decorated with child-friendly colors, with your ex that is also the father of your child. And his swarm of guards seated not far away. Well, Junmyeon is the son of one of the most prolific businessmen in the whole country. It was reasonable for him to have a colony of protectors shielding him from any harm, well - it was reasonable enough for you, back when you were blindsided from the truth.

“So, is this your favorite flavor?” Junmyeon asked the child beside you, who answered an eager series of nods. “This is absolutely my favorite too.” He answered with a smile.

He wasn’t lying, Pistachio flavored ice cream used to be a staple on movie night dates you shared before. You weren’t even shocked when Jaejin gravitated to the said flavor, too.

It felt extremely odd how just an hour ago, you were sincerely hoping with all your guts to not see this spectacle of a sight in front of you. Yet right now, seeing your ex and your son felt just right. As if you didn’t spend most of your time for the past years hiding all traces of you and Jaejin from this man. They looked so similar that no one would think that they only met an hour ago. One would immediately speculate that Junmyeon was there, ever since Jaejin was growing inside your stomach, up until his birth and when he took his first steps and mouthed his first words - all the things you prevented from happening.

It has only been a month since you came back to Korea. You thought that the waters you’ve tread with Junmyeon was now tranquil enough to come back home. Living overseas for seven years, transferring from LA to Japan and back, far away from all your friends and family and all marks of the past. Starting off a new career, busying yourself with juggling a nine to five job and also being a full time mom. You thought that you could finally come back to your roots, a vague home that grew distant and alien to you. But the sight unfolding before you told you otherwise.

“Mama, can I go play at the slides? Please?” Jaejin tugged a bit on your sleeves and wore that glassy pleading eyes that never failed to make you abide by his ways.

“But Mama hasn’t finished her food yet. Wait for me so I can come with you, okay?” You shone a bright smile you always give him.

“Mama, I’m a big boy already. I can go play on my own. You can stay here and talk with Uncle Junmyeon.” Jaejin flashed a mischievous smile and you were quick to think that your son is wiser than his years. Your eyes found Junmyeon’s, how his wore a cold, dark gaze towards you.

“Fine. But take care, okay. Always remember what Mama tells you.” You spoke as you caressed Jaejin’s soft cheeks with your left hand.

“Don’t talk to strangers and don’t make girls I play with cry.” He rose his right hand in a pledging manner, wearing a bright smile of victory. You nodded and Jaejin, with his audible giggles, ran to the brightly colored play place of the diner also filled with buzzing energetic children of same age as him. The said area was bursting in laughter and sugar fueled youthfulness, a great contrast to the thick dead air that enveloped your table. In the blur of your peripheral vision, you saw Junmyeon nod to one of his men - probably signaling him to keep watch of Jaejin. An order that was aptly followed by one of his guards sitting on a table opposite yours.

The clink and clatter, the dizzying rotation of the stuffed bear that hangs in the ceiling, the relentless crying of the baby that refused to be shushed no matter what plea of her embarrassed mother; you tried to focus on all of this things. Your senses floated beyond the imaginary confined space that closed off you and Junmyeon from the rest of the diner. Your hand, armed with your fork, mindlessly toyed with the barely scathed serving of blandly seasoned corn and carrots on your plate. You did everything just to avoid looking into his eyes.

There was a handful of acceptable reasons why you don’t want to converse with Junmyeon. First, you don’t have a prepared script on what to say to him when you see him again. As you never expected nor desired that to happen. Second, you were unsure of what you’re feeling. You were absolute that you’d loathe the day that you cross paths with him again, but you’d be dumb to deny that seeing him and Jaejin together didn’t make you wish that he was beside the both of you all along.

“So when did you plan to tell me?” It was uncommon for you to be nervous, moreover be tense. Yet it was also highly rare for Junmyeon to sound cold, or at least you never remembered him to be. You shut your eyes forcibly, in hopes to muster an answer. “Or did you ever even plan to tell me?”

“Tell you what?” You finally summoned enough courage to look at him dead straight in the eye. You are well aware that playing dumb wasn’t the best card to pull but your deck was thin.

“That you were pregnant? Or that I fathered a child that I never would’ve knew existed if I he hadn’t bumped to me in a mall?” His face was expressionless, unforgivingly void of any emotion. Not that any trace of sadness or anger would help your current situation but it was surely something that would give you a foundation to stand on and a trajectory to take.

“You’re not his father.” You looked away, not even you believed what you just muttered under your breath.

Junmyeon gave a bitter laugh full of disbelief, “Then who? Tell me. Because as far as I know I don’t have a twin that could make someone look that much like me.” You felt his hand grip your wrist, an action that earned him a gasp from you. The sudden contact sent a shiver down your spine, whether from the harshness of his grasp or the familiar web of fingerprints that laid down your skin once more.

You didn’t even bother to reply and just snatched your hand back. You had to admit that you’ve never been a good liar, specially not to those people who knew you best - not to Junmyeon. You looked behind you, catching a glimpse of Jaejin laughing carelessly as he’s chasing other children that cackled in the same level of amusement.

“What? How many guys have you fucked that you don’t even remember who the father of your child is?” His tone got unexpectedly higher, you shot him a stern look and looked around you right afterwards. His words wasn’t exactly fitting in the lively diner, his scandalous choice of words would surely ruin a happy family fun Saturday dinner.

“Fine, you’re his father. What now?”

“You tell me. What now?”” He retorted right back.

“I just can’t tell him that the guy he randomly ran into is his father!” Your tone raised but still maintaining a relatively shushed volume, afraid of scandalizing the peaceful diner.

“Imagine how easier it could’ve been if you told me seven years ago.” A hint of sad defeat was evident in his voice, and how that glint of emotion made you feel bad was surreal. Of course, he’s sad - probably even angry. You remember all the times he imagined the day he’ll become a father, and boy was he really excited to be one. Junmyeon made all these plans and dreams with you only for you to break it down to ashes.

“That’s not something we can still change, right?” You sighed. “Look, just forget this ever happened. I.. we’ll just go back to LA, far away from you so you’ll never have to see us again. Just forget this day.”

“Do you really think I’d let that happen? Did you lose your logic all these years, Y/N? I just found out that I have a son that’s already running around and talking and you think I’ll just let him go again?”

You slowly landed your fork on the table, depleted of any response nor resolve to the situation. It was a checkmated chess match, and you have no choice but to leave the decision to Junmyeon. “What do you want, Junmyeon?”

“I want to be a father to my son.”

Junmyeon insisted to drop the both of you back to your current apartment. Not that you could refuse to anything that he says. In all honesty, you never feared Junmyeon before. He was this sweet, almost-too-perfect man that always gets you what you want, when you want. But now armed with the knowledge of what he does for a living, there’s an imminent fear in your veins. You barely have an idea on what extents he’s willing to do just to have and get his son.

You were mum in the backseat, beside you was Jaejin and his father. They already had this undeniable dynamic with each other. Jaejin is a friendly and approachable child, but this connection with him and Junmyeon almost made you jealous. You wonder if their cheekbones hasn’t tired out from all that smiling and laughing on each other’s jokes about certain cartoon characters that you only know so shallowly of.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Junmyeon all too seriously asks your son, who in turn looks at you with a smile.

“I want to be a lawyer. Mama said she wanted to be one but she had to do other things. I want to continue her dreams. Right mama?” Jaejin gleamed his small, baby teeth to you. One that you answered with a warm, close lipped smile.

“I’m sure you’ll be a great one, Jaejin.” Junmyeon noted as he looked at you with his brown soulful eyes, and you already knew what he meant.

You remembered how you broke up years ago, saying how you wanted to pursue further studies in Law abroad, in a institution of a greater name and reputation. It was among many things that you reasoned out to make him let you go. It was a messy parting, for sure.

Junmyeon expected that when he sees you again, you’ll be an honorable lawyer, finally accompanied with that well-earned “Atty.” prior to your name. The breakup made him too much of a mess but he understood the weight and importance of your dreams over his personal interests to stay with you. Because if he could’ve had it his way, you’d just stay with him, settle down, and let him do all the work. He’ll be able to support you financially, after all. But that’s not the case right now. You returned after almost a decade, not with an honorable title but with a child; his child.

“Always be a good boy, okay? Don’t give your mama a hard time.” Junmyeon patted Jaejin’s head as he towered over him by the doorframe.

“Ofcourse, samchon! I’m always a good boy!”

“Yeah, remember my promise if you’re a good boy? I’ll give you all the toys you want, as long as you’re good, okay?” And they sealed their deal with a high five.

Junmyeon looked back at you, uncertainty was painted in his eyes. “Y/N.” He exhaled, to which you only nodded softly as understanding. You knew that saying goodbye was pointless. You knew he’d be back, maybe even sooner than you’d expect him to be. He already agreed in taking the revelation slowly to Jaejin. And you agreed on letting him build and start off a relationship with the child, a sequential step to getting to know each other better.

It was a part of your night regimen to lie beside Jaejin after he drinks his milk. Usually in days that he’s off to school and you’re at work, this is the time where he tells you all about his day. But right now you just layed in silence, embracing your son in your arms. Memorizing how he breathes, how his soft bubbly cheeks feel on your hand, how his voice sounds when he calls you Mama. Because despite the agreement you’ve come into with Junmyeon, you can’t help but fear these possibilities. Partly, you could blame yourself that you’re overthinking right now. You gave Junmyeon every right to hate you, you hid his child - and what if he plays the exact same cards and hide Jaejin from you? But overthinking would resolve nothing. You just hope and pray that Junmyeon is still the same person you knew from before, compassionate and thoughtful.

“I like Uncle Junmyeon, Mama. He’s very nice to me.” You simply hummed in recognition. “He reminds me of Uncle Jinki. Can I see Uncle Junmyeon again, Mama?”

“I’m sure you will.” You kissed his forehead. “It’s getting late now, you should sleep Jaejin.”

“Okay, Mama. I’ll pray now.” You nodded, and Jaejin started his nightly prayer. At the very end was always his special wishes, this was the time when he usually drops hints on wanting a new toy, or anything that he wants. “I pray that I get to see Uncle Junmyeon again, and that my Papa from far away is happy and healthy. Amen.”

The last part broke your heart, he always prays for his father. One that you told him had to be away for the good of both of you. But how will you tell him that the Uncle that he just met earlier was his actual father that he prays to see at night?

You rushed against the swarm of people to book a taxi. It was already rush hour and your cousin just texted you that he couldn’t fetch Jaejin from the daycare that you’ve left him in. You just freshly started a new job at the busy business district of Seoul, and you badly needed to stay and be at top performance at your new job if you wanted to keep it. You relied on your younger, single, cousin to keep an eye on Jaejin after his hours at the daycare center ends. But all be damned to hell that she decided to get a date on the busiest day of the week, where you just couldn’t rush to pick Jaejin up.

You don’t know why there’s a hint of nervousness in your veins and you just can’t stay put in your cab seat. Probably because it was already 5:45 in the afternoon and the day care is only supposed to be open until 4:30. They probably wouldn’t let Jaejin wander off the streets but there’s still this random unsettledness in your blood.

Office heels and preparatory school pebbles don’t mix, that was one thing you found out today. Yet you still nearly ran to catch the doors of the facility, before all lights close down.

“Excuse me? Is Jaejin still there?” You politely asked the female guard that was just closing the doors of the pastel colored center.

“Oh, Jaejin? He was picked up by someone earlier. He was this handsome, neat looking guy that looked a lot like Jaejin. He told me that you knew that he’d pick him up? And I thought he was Jaejin’s father so I let him pick him up.”

Your jaw almost dropped at her words, Junmyeon picked up Jaejin today. You were sure that he didn’t know where Jaejin studied, or where you left him during the day. You doubt if he even knows that Jaejin doesn’t accompany you to work. But now thinking about it, Junmyeon is probably capable of anything and everything.

“Is everything okay, Maam?” The lady asked, a hint of concern evident in her voice. She should be, because if any child gets kidnapped, she’ll surely lose her job.

“Yeah, yeah.” Was all you answered as you shaked down your initial shock. Almost stumbling with your nude stilettos, you jogged down to the streets and waited for a cab again. Maybe Junmyeon just dropped Jaejin at your apartment? You know it was wishful thinking, but it was the only string that kept you from breaking down now.

The ride back to your apartment was a blur, you scaled the stairs two steps at a time despite the pain on the balls of your feet. With jittery hands, you placed the keycard on the door scanner. The quietness on the other side of the walls was already a giveaway, Jaejin wasn’t here. Yet you still searched for every part of your two room apartment. But what frightened you even more was when you reached Jaejin’s room, all his toys were gone. Not even the new Bumblebee robot that Junmyeon just granted him last week. His favorite bunny stuff toy that he had since he could barely open his eyes wasn’t in his bed, too.

It took time for your senses to register that his closet was open, and all layers were void of his clothes, too. Surely, whoever took Jaejin’s stuff has no plans of letting him set foot again here. Because if not for your familiarity to your own apartment, and the fluorescent star stickers in the ceiling, none would remind you that this was his room.

“Jaejin..” Was all you were able to mutter before the first drop of tears escaped your eyes.

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