#julia's egg problem

[drawfee-quot3s]

earlier today i told jacob that i wanted to cook an egg, and what i actually meant was- uhh- veggie burger

- julia

[parallelfallout]

tell me more about sopek i beg you

Absolutely!!

Sopek is the 19 year old astrophysicist aboard the U.S.S Eridani, a constitution-class starship captained by Captain Saavik. He’s one of the characters featured in the storyline/project series which is being posted about in more detail soon at @startrek-eridani ! (He’d be very disappointed I did such a rush-job on this portrait. You can’t rush perfection.)

Here’s some facts about Sopek:

- He joins Starfleet at 17 and fast-tracks his studies so he graduates in two years, focusing mainly on his astrophysics and tangential scientific studies.

-in hindsight, he probably should’ve spent the full 4 years there actually gaining experience, learning about human social mores, and making connections with others because he’s sorely lacking in understanding of human culture by the time he’s on the Eridani. He failed to consider this. Whoops. But he’s Sopek so he thinks he’ll get along just fine regardless

- he doesn’t tell anyone who his parents are nor does he share his clan name. He doesn’t want anything getting in the way of his chances of getting onto the Eridani (including potential biases against the kid of the woman who incited kal-if-fee on spock)

-he started a club for Human Studies while at the academy because he’s so desperately lost when it comes to the stuff humans reference and a lot of the behaviors they exhibit, their media, etc. The handful of Vulcans who are also attending the academy at the same time, plus a scattering of other alien races all join the club and Study Intensely and Take Notes to try and figure out the enigma that is human socialization. He persuades (intimidates) one (1) human into coming by every semester and grading their Findings, and every semester the club is sorely disappointed to be told everything they thought they figured out is actually not on the mark at all.

-the human who he continuously gets to do the grading is Terrance Riley, son of Kevin Riley. Terrance actually ends up serving aboard the Eridani too, so he becomes Sopek’s go-to for Human Consultations. Terrance is too scared to refuse his questions :)

-once he’s aboard the Eridani, he learns of a phenomenon some of the crew members partake in called “girl’s night”. It becomes his life’s mission to be formally invited to girl’s night for anthropological reasons. (Also one of the male crew is always invited to girl’s night so he wants to be included too >~< )

-He’s not as well-versed in cross-studies and other fields (unlike his idol Spock :/) due to his hyper focus on his contributions to findings in his field of specialization. In other words, this man couldn’t throw a punch, run a mile, or cook a meal to save his life prior to starfleet survival training. What can he say? He’s a ShiKahrian snob and we love him for it

-he was given the choice of whether or not he had to go through the kahs-wan, and chose to do so (motivations may or may not have involved potential bragging rights). made it through the kahs-wan by just chilling in a hideout at night and stealing eggs from a Teresh-kah nest. He secretly thinks his little commemorative kahs-wan bicep tattoo looks dope as fuck, logically speaking in terms of aesthetics

-Stonn and T’Pring do not force him to be bonded at the age of seven due to their own experiences with the traditional rituals, so Sopek remains unbonded. Some of his clan elders are concerned about this choice, but Sopek isn’t worried at all, and thinks if he really NEEDED to form an emergency bond with someone, he’d have no problem securing one in a pinch. There’s no shortage of people who would want to be secured to him. It’s only logical- after all, he thinks he’s Vulcan’s Green Gift^TM to the galaxy

-his parents may have unwittingly unleashed a monster

-what did they expect? He’s an only child

-he def wears finely embroidered Vulcan robes of high quality as casual wear (and the embroidery matches his eyes. He’s so julia)

- he may or may not imagine Spock giving him advice when he meditates sometimes

-he may or may not have an Interest (crush) on a certain Betazoid communications officer aboard the Eridani… we’ll learn more about her in a post I’m gonna make soon!

-maybe the whole simping for a cool woman out of his league thing is genetic on his father’s side

-he may or may not be the Actual Worst when it comes to actual, real life flirting. His idea of a marriage proposal is telling someone their work is adequate and then very swiftly fleeing the room

That’s all I’ve got for now without any significant spoilers! I think Sopek would be Very satisfied with all the attention he’s already generating on tumblr dot com (he’s so diva superstar).

<333 thank you for your interest

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

How did you like her interview in People? I wonder, when this attempt fails, what mask will she put on next time...

I'm reading the article now...typing my thoughts here in real time.

People was on site when Harry was still in Vancouver for the Invictus Games - meaning that Meghan 1,000% lined up this article after she forced Netflix to postpone the release from January 15th, along with the NYC billboard and her NYC trip. Meaning she had ZERO PR planned for the original launch date because there's no way - with how much this article cost and the price of billboards in Time Square - Netflix would've just eaten the cost.

"Mama, don't work too hard" -> The real Prince Charles: Future king is a workaholic who 'falls asleep at his desk and wakes up with paper stuck to his face' says Harry (November 2018)

“I love that that is something that Archie, Lili, H and I all have together. It means a lot to me.” -> Devaluing phase!

The Sussex name, she adds, “is part of our love story." -> just say yessssssssssssssss AGREE WITH ME DAMMIT. Seriously - aside from Taylor Swift (who is contractually obligated by her fans to keep singing Love Story), is there any woman over the age of 19 who keeps bleating on about her love story the way Meghan does?

“As a woman, a mom and a wife, to be able to find yourself again...is a wonderful feeling.” -> Too bad instead of finding this grace towards another woman, mom, and wife, you went for the jugular and talked about her hormones.

this time there’s no mention of anything royal -> Reading between the lines: they're completely cut off and don't have anything to share but they're going to make you think it's their choice.

“Whenever Harry visited set, he was always super polite and friendly,” -> tracks with Vanity Fair. Also this is not Meghan saying Harry's name; it's a Netflix staffer.

“My husband met me when I had The Tig, and I see this spark in his eye when he sees me doing the thing that I was doing when he first met me,” she says. -> Sounds more like "thank God now she'll leave me alone" relief

Chinese food delivery is a favorite, “but even when I get takeout, I will try to plate it beautifully,” -> “It’s so beautifully arranged on the plate, you know someone’s fingers have been all over it.” -Julia Child...aka keep your filthy paws off my food unless you wash your hands (with soap) in front of me.

In the process, Meghan says, Montecito has become protective of the Sussexes: “Once you know us, I think you want us to have the same normalcy as parents and for our children as they do, despite however unique our situation is.” -> Royal expert reveals how 'protective' Norfolk locals help Kate and William enjoy date nights (September 2021)

The family’s sprawling estate is their sanctuary, which is why Meghan chose to film her show in a nearby rental that echoes their own space. -> But she has noooooooooooo problem inviting People Magazine into her bedroom where her child is sleeping.

so I’m normally up at 6:30 -> So much for that 5am go-getter lifestyle, huh?

“My husband and Archie both love fried eggs," -> in this economy?!

I want my kids to have those same formative memories of things that I cook. We call them Mama Meals...[a]nd it’s the same roast chicken I’ve been making since they were little.” -> Reading between the lines again...it sounds like a blink-and-miss-it confession that she doesn't cook as much as she claims to. Are they ordering takeout that much? Do they have their own chef or meal kit service? No shame if they do, but if you have a special name for the meals your mom cooks...she's not cooking that much. Also this would've been much better if she said she was making roast chicken since before they were born, you know, considering how it's their engagement story. Well, one of them. She probably forgot that, let's be honest. It's hard to keep them all straight.

They would also come with my husband -> still can't bear to say his name.

“Being able to have my own little girl, as I’ve spent so much of my life championing the rights of girls and women, and to be able to see this as a multigenerational story — Archie is of course included in that, my husband is of course included in that — but I love the heritage feeling of it and knowing this is something that I can create in front of my daughter and teach her what it’s like to be a working mom,” she says. “This is something that hopefully can be part of her legacy too.” -> Maaaaaaaaaaybe if you want her to have ownership...name something after her? You named your charity organization, production company, and podcast company after her brother. What does she get? A name scandal.

rinse and repeat,” -> Hey, remember when she had this phrase in nearly every single PR article? Remember when this was her username in the DM comments section?

“Anyone who has children will tell you, it’s a huge evolution as a woman during that time.” -> Hey, you know what would be really cool to show your evolution as a woman? Apologizing to Kate for insulting her because you didn't know how exhausting a motherhood journey could be.

“And my gosh, in 10 years, Archie will be driving!” -> Really? That's what you think of? Your kid being your chauffeur in 10 years?

Why are all the photos exclusive from June 2024?

So overall thoughts: This is a classic People story. Someone launches a new chapter of their lives, and they sit down for a "my life now" intimate tell-all interview. Like so:

I did a google search of "People magazine my life now", clicked over to Images, and these are the top results. That's 12 People covers of "my life now" intimate tell-alls. This is not groundbreaking in any way, shape, or form. Well, the amount of photoshopping on the cover photo is probably groundbreaking.

And lastly, once again proving there's never an original bone in Meghan's body:

Kate wears a hat on the cover, so Meghan wears a hat on the cover.

Kate brings her dog to the photoshoot, Meghan brings her dog to the photoshoot.

I'm honestly shocked Meghan didn't bring out her bike for this one too.

[bravoechoes]

Ok. I watched Mission Impossible The Final Reckoning and I did not like the film. If you enjoyed it I am legitimately genuinely very happy for you because I wanted so desperately to love this movie. This isn’t meant to rain on your parade at all, but I do want to write out my immediate post-movie watching thoughts about why I didn’t like it. This is going to be heavily spoiler-y (and long) so I will put it under a cut

If I had to locate one central problem with the film, I would say it’s that Ethan is a zombie in this movie. Despite being the driver of the action, he is ironically a very passive character in FR, merely a vehicle for the narrative to progress. He makes no genuine choices in this film - despite Fallout and DR establishing Ethan as someone who (after suffering the horrific amount of losses that he has in his life) would put the world at risk to save his friends, Ethan makes none of those calls in this movie. Luther dies, but not because of Ethan’s failure to save him or because he makes the choice to get Luther killed (both of which they’ve played with in prior films, eg Fallout). Luther just dies because Gabriel kills him. The film openly declares this lack of choice at the very beginning: when Sloane is delivering Ethan his orders via VHS tape, she never says “your mission, should you choose to accept it.” Ethan is given no choice. Now Ethan having no choice in his mission isn’t de facto bad - Ilsa’s character revolves around her being constantly robbed of agency and choice, of being stuck in a web of coercion and deceit and betrayal and having to assert herself as an agent in her own life despite these horrifying constraints. Ilsa, despite being forced out of most opportunities to make her own decisions, is an incredibly active and present character, and her being robbed of agency is the thing that GIVES her agency in the films because it’s what structures and informs her character.

Ethan isn’t present in FR! I don’t feel Ethan, I don’t connect with Ethan at all in this movie. He is going through the motions of being in a mission impossible film but we don’t get to connect with him as a character. I think the Sevastopol underwater sequence is very instructive here because its the only time I “feel” Ethan. it’s an incredibly psychological section where he is being forced to go deeper and deeper into the ‘fallout of his good intentions’ - we learn in FR that the Rabbit’s Foot from MI3 contained the seed of the Entity, which he unleashed when he stole it in Shanghai and which eventually destroyed the Sevastopol. We are seeing Ethan directly confront the consequences of his decision to steal this incredibly dangerous object to save Julia - gambling the lives of millions to save a person he loves. There’s a genuine moment of horror where he sees the corpses of the crew and hallucinates one of them opening their mouth to scream and pointing at him. It’s also the only time in a Mission Impossible film where I’ve seen Ethan legitimately panic - it’s a very small moment, but when he’s attempting to escape through one of the torpedo tubes and he can’t get into it, you can see he is like actually starting to panic BECAUSE !!!!!!! he can’t escape the consequences of his actions, they have all caught up with him and he is literally drowning in them. That is when I felt emotionally connected to Ethan Hunt the character in the movie, and it’s because they directly tie the stunt to his personal character motivations, desires, and emotions.

Because god this movie sure doesn’t feel like a mission impossible film! The constant flashbacks to other films (INCLUDING DEAD RECKONING FOR SOME REASON, PART 1 OF THIS TWO-PART MOVIE), the cameos & easter eggs (Briggs being revealed to be Jim Phelps’ son, Donlow coming back as a side character, the aircraft carrier commander lady who was related to a member of Ethan’s team that died in Prague in MI1, etc), the exhausting repetition about Ethan being the literal saviour of humanity, all create this sense that the film is weirdly insecure about itself, that it is not a film that stands alone and is primarily a vehicle to remind the audience about the Mission Impossible franchise. And like, McQ and Cruise always say that the thing about Mission is that you can’t expect the audience to have seen another one so they all need to stand on their own, but this movie is drowning in its own cultural memory, all it does is callback to its own glory days. And I think this contributes to this zombie-Ethan thing: he is not present in this film, he is merely interacting with his own (in real life) legacy via everyone telling him in grave desperate tones that he’s the saviour of us all.

And then there are a bunch of added problems, the biggest one being that they never ever stop explaining the plot of the film to the audience. You are two hours in and characters are still explaining what the film is about to you. It’s exhausting and boring at the same time - you’re constantly being bombarded with information that has already been covered, to the point that I began to grow confused because I thought there was some new development or complexity I was missing, because why the hell else would you keep explaining a fairly simple plot? (Evil AI takes over world, wants to start global nuclear war, Ethan needs to combine 2 tech doohickeys to destroy it).

I think the scene with Luther and Ethan is particularly egregious for this - Luther, the only person besides Kittridge who Ethan has known for 30 years, is about to die. And their entire conversation is about the plot! What Ethan has to do, what Luther is doing, etc. you’re not given any room to breathe or sit with the fact that Ethan is about to lose his oldest and closest friend. Like the insane thing about this movie is that it is so overly bloated with exposition that nobody really gets to be a character - all they do is explain plot to each other, you never linger on them long enough to get much sense of their interiority. Even in the fucking!!!!! Decompression scene with Grace directly after the submarine sequence, which is the closest we get to a quiet character moment, we are IMMEDIATELY launched back into plot exposition where Ethan tells Grace what needs to happen now. The film refuses to invite us to care about these characters, and I think it’s especially egregious given that FR follows both Fallout and DR, two films that really heavily lean into character interiority. Even a character like Gabriel, who is supposed to be this extremely personal villain from Ethan’s past, is completely emotionally disconnected. He’s literally just like a cackling villain (he literally cackles while trying to kill Ethan in the bi-plane sequence lol). We never get any more information about Ethan’s past that was set up in DR (who is Marie? What is Ethan’s history with Gabriel outside of that?) and we never get clarity on the emotional stakes with Ethan and Gabriel, aside from the fact that Gabriel constantly threatens to and sometimes does kill Ethan’s friends. Like there’s never a moment with Gabriel that’s intimate or intense like Lane’s “you should’ve killed me Ethan” speech in Fallout. Instead all the screen time is devoted to exposition, ironically making the film less comprehensible as it goes on.

There’s just so much half-baked shit in this. The aircraft carrier gag was simply an extended wink to Top Gun, and despite all the comedic weight it’s given in the film  and trailers (“why the hell do you want an aircraft carrier? / “you gave him an aircraft carrier?” / etc), it’s not developed or used at all. All Ethan does is board the carrier, talk to an officer, then immediately fly away in a helicopter before jumping into the ocean. Literally what was the point of that! It’s just to make a joke about Tom Cruise being in Maverick. This movie consistently does not seem to understand what it’s about, but because it’s the last MI movie, it needs to just be about Mission Impossible I guess ? 

This post has gone on long enough but one final thing - Ilsa is literally never mentioned in this film at all, despite JULIA being mentioned of all characters. I feel especially robbed just given McQ’s insistence in the director’s commentary of DR that this would have significant narrative weight in FR, that Ilsa’s death means something narratively. Never appeared once! Ethan’s like generically sad throughout FR, but it’s never tied to anything, it’s not thematically structured throughout the film of him being robbed of loved ones or choices - LUTHER EVEN SAYS TO ETHAN, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, RETIRE? They’re teasing us with the idea that Ethan has literally no choices left in his life, he is just a machine that is used, but it never coheres into anything in this movie the way it does with Fallout and DR.

Anyway I’m just like. Really disappointed by this movie. I wanted to love it so badly. I will be thinking about the Sevastopol underwater sequence for a very long time and I think it’s legitimately one of the best sequences in the entire series, but I can’t imagine myself wanting to rewatch this movie anytime soon. I want to sit with it for a while and see how I feel about it with more distance, but immediately coming off of it, I really was disappointed and I’m like pretty bummed about that. Man :(

[my-little-random-world]

Marta: Do you think we’ll need more fruit? Or… Fina: Marta, calm down, please. Everything is going to be fine. I know you’re doing this for me, and that’s what matters. Marta: Well, I’m also doing it for myself. I really appreciate your father. I want to show him how I feel. Fina: Whatever the reason, it’s not necessary, really. I appreciate it a lot. Marta: Besides, doing these kinds of things makes me feel like we’re a normal couple. Fina: Haha.

Isidro: Good morning, daughter. Fina: Hello, Father. Isidro: What are you doing here so early? Fina: Um... Marta: Good morning, Isidro. Isidro: Ah, good morning. I heard voices and thought it was my daughter talking to Teresa. Fina: We came to have breakfast with you. Marta: And since you’re such an early riser, we wanted to have everything ready for when you got up. Isidro: You’ve gone to so much trouble. Fina: Father... Isidro: Are the two of you finally going together? Is that it or not? Fina: No, be patient, please, you’re getting ahead of yourself. Marta: Don’t you prefer to talk with a coffee in hand? Fina: Yes. Father, no one’s leaving here, neither Marta alone, of course, nor me after her, which I would have done without a doubt. Marta: We’re both staying.

-Next Scene-

Isidro: So, does that mean all the doubts you had about running the company without ending up like your father and brother have been resolved? Marta: It’s true that I was tormented by the thought that ambition might consume me, but after talking with Fina, I realized that as long as she’s with me, that won’t happen. Because she’s my support, and she’s my pillar. Fina: Father, trust in us. This is a decision we’ve made together, and we want you to be a part of it. Marta: And although you may have reasonable doubts, it matters to me, it matters to us, what you think. Isidro: Marta, I want you to understand... Marta: I understand you. You don’t have to justify yourself... Isidro: No, no, let me, let me finish, please. I have to look out for my daughter. When I asked you to leave her, I looked into your eyes and knew I wasn’t being fair. Because your eyes told me that you would never abandon her, because that would be like tearing part of her soul away. Marta: That’s right.

Fina: Well, we’d better eat these scrambled eggs, or they’ll be cold. Isidro: Yes, ma'am! Scrambled eggs... You know, Kelly would say this needs a slice of pancetta. Marta: Pancetta! Fina: Look at him, seriously, there’s no excuse bad enough for him to break his diet. Isidro: Oh, for God’s sake, what a tyrant you are, daughter. Marta, help me convince her, please. Marta: No, the one I need to convince is you, to start addressing me informally... we could say... well, we’re almost family. Fina: Fruit! Father, what you need to eat is fruit! Pancetta, what pancetta? Don Damián: Good morning. Fina: Good morning, Don Damián. Isidro: Do you need something, sir? Don Damián: I was just looking for Gema or Teresa... Because we’ve run out of coffee in the dining room. Marta: There might be some left in the kitchen. Don Damián: Well, no problem, I can check. Eh… by the way, I wanted to let you know that tomorrow some technicians will come to install a television set. I mention it in case someone doesn’t want to miss the momentous occasion. Marta: Looks like we’re modernizing. Don Damián: Eh, yes. Well, Julia deserves the best welcome. *crickets* Well, I’ll stop bothering you. Enjoy your meal. Isidro: Well... is that pancetta coming or what?

-Next Scene-

Don Damián: This morning, when I saw you having breakfast with your father... Fina: Yeah, I saw your face; you were waiting for us to invite you to join, weren’t you? Don Damián: I know I can be pathetic, but yes. Fina: No, Don Damián, you’re not pathetic at all. Don Damián: It’s not your fault, but I didn’t like feeling like an outsider. Fina: In any case, it’s something you need to discuss with your daughter. Don Damián: Yes, I should talk to her, but the problem is that our communication isn’t very good right now. A family issue has come between us. Fina: Yes, Don Damián, I know. You understand that Marta is affected by it, right? Don Damián: Yes, I do. I’d like to fix things with my daughter, but I don’t know how to start. I thought maybe you could help me. Fina: What? Me? No, Don Damián, this is between you and your daughter. I don’t want to get involved or get dragged into it. I hope you understand that. Don Damián: Yes, I know I acted wrongly, Fina, and I’m very sorry, but I can’t change the past. What I want is to make amends. I’m also capable of doing good things, Fina. If Marta trusts you enough to tell you all the bad things I’ve done, she must have also told you how I burned those photos they took of you two. Remember how I made sure your father got the treatment he needed. Fina: And now you come here so I can repay you for all those favors by talking to Marta, is that it? Don Damián: No, no, no, no, please don’t misunderstand me at all. Everything I’ve done, I did from the heart, and I would do it again, Fina, a thousand times. Just as I would cover for my son again. Protecting your loved ones comes naturally to you, doesn’t it? Love is impulsive. Fina: Don Damián, please, I don’t even want to hear about it. I can’t do what you’re asking me to do. Don Damián: I just want Marta to forgive me. Is that so hard for you to understand? I beg you, Fina, give me some clue about how I can do that. Fina: Marta just wants to be herself and live accordingly, without having to justify herself, without pressure. Until you understand that, there’s not much you can do. Don Damián: I’m trying my hardest. Fina: Is that how you try? By sending me to Barcelona or talking to my father to convince me to leave? Is that how? Don Damián: That was at the beginning. You have to understand that it was very hard for me to find out about your relationship like that… all of a sudden. Fina: Don Damián, no! I’m not going to help you.

[sunny-reacts-to-stuff]

tma 120 "eye contact"

blood, body horror, self-harm, insect infestation, worms, burned alive, buried alive, direct violence, police, police violence

i wanna be like jonathan sims and get paid for having my parents insulting me in public

and now to listen to fuckass elias bouchard ramble for 23 whole minutes

unresponsive :(

everything but brain-dead is crazy

was antonio blake like this

anatomy class? :o

tessa?

daisy? did daisy get coffined for real?

is this "if you missed previous episodes"?

my jon :(

how was this guy called? jordan?OMG I GOT IT RIGHT

ohh wait this are only the ones we got narrated direct from subject

omg hi jane! been a while

and that's jude, yay

who are we missing? naomi and that's it?

let me just.

in order, we have -> anatomy class, binary, skintight?, police lights, the smell of blood, hard shoulder, underground, the new door, pest control, hive/infestation, twice as bright

and we are missing naomi, basira's first statement?, julia?, gerry? and sasha? idk

MY SOURCES (tumblr user fullmetalmind) HAS TOLD ME ANTONIO BLAKE HAS BEEN SPOTTED BEFORE so we are gonna finish this and then we are gonna go on an egg hunt to find him

okay, we have nightfall

and alone?

wait im gonna go on the egg hunt now because imagine elias finishes the statement with "btw and this guy was blablabla" i will kms

data i have on antonio blake:

not native to london but lives there

studied economics

worked in barclays

dated graham folger for six years, therefore he is a queer man

he has a friend called anahita wait

has premonitory lucid dreams (they seem to start at canary wharf)

went on to work for an esoteric shop

his father died of heart failure of 31st dec 2014

didn't know the archive before hand

based on my sources he appears more than once

okay now. for the hunt.

haha i have no idea how to go about this

let me play my tunes

(the tunes in question)

okay the problem is that i have two separate lists of characters and not all of them are complete but let's see what we can do

also lol completely forgot about mike's statement

either way

list of men that could fit this stuff:

ohhh he's oliver, right?

i have seen the name around and i kept being "we dont have any oliver" but

I sold crystals. They were clean, and sharp and bright and they did not sing to me, though I sometimes said they did. We would sell the stones to smiling young couples with colour in their hair. I remember, before I found the nest, someone new came. His name was Oliver, and he would look at me so strangely.

let me see if i can find a second name

i do have an oliver in my first list but i have him as client rather than selling because i must have misunderstood the "someone new came in" as him being a regular

well

whatever

i am very happy with this finding ^______^

elias you can keep going

are you allowed to do this in hospital visits

oh he's not at the hospital right he's watching

"without my guidance"? because you are gonna leave forever? :3

yeah don't you dare

well.

daisy dying was like the best outcome tbh

OMG YAY

the crime of being an asshole

well done martin

yeah that's because you give 0 shits about martin

also is the background noise supposed to be an eye opening and closing bc it is positively disgusting

pick me ahh criminal

the police officer is so done

"i shall be thinking of them" kys

YES KICK HIM

"i see" sadly you do

why is he here for the love of everything that's holy

NO ONE IS GONNA FUCKING CALL YOU PETER

he is 30 can we stop acting like he's useless just because he is a nice guy

oh right ceo vacancy

hell no

no

the devil that you know is better than the devil that you don't ig

well this one can be killed without consequences at least

paid therapy at least

i hate this fella

either way fun season

[dee-the-red-witch]

hi so. i'm sorry if you feel like this is something you've talked about too much but i'm genuinely having a hard time understanding- what's the issue with femboys? or is it a finnster-specific issue...? idk i can see how it's an issue of like. performing femininity but not really accepting what womanhood really means but what makes it different from drag in that case? or am i going in the wrong direction trying to understand? i have amab as well as afab ppl in my life that identify as femboys and use it as a loosely-nonbinary term but i also know a couple femboys that are. hm. probably eggs leaning on the term that's less "scary" when it comes to confronting gender, is it about that....?

sorry if this is exhausting for you to discuss i'm just confused and trying to understand

Ok, keep in mind, this is a nonny. Which means I need to treat this with the intent that it's bait. Because that's what fucking happens a lot to folks. So I'm picking my words. 1. Show me where I said I have a problem with femboys in general. Because honestly? No problem with the identity. No problem with the concept. Same with drag, same with Crossdressers, same with sissys. They're all just as valid. What I have a problem with is when people specifically use and abuse things like F1nn5ter's (last I checked, still using he/him pronouns, so that's what I'm using here) use of trap content. Content that gets trans women beaten, abused, exiled, ostracized, and killed on a daily basis to make profit, and does it scot free of any societal penalty, partly because of a massive supporting userbase and fame, and partly because he wasn't out about being a trans woman yet. That right there is where my problem is. People can and should explore, play with, perform, exist in femininity however and whenever they want, but the problem is ONE GROUP OF US KEEPS GETTING PUNISHED FOR IT while the others see far less, if ever. So again, no problem with the femboy identity or femboys in general, but oh yeah, big problems with the difference in treatment. 2. I'm also gonna ask this in return- why am *I* your expert on this subject? Because this happens to so many trans women- we're out, we get seen enough to be noticed, and suddenly we're supposed to be the pillars of the community, delivering Julia Serrano level philosophy, flawless looks, opinions, and knowledge? There's lots of other folks to ask this kind of thing about, why go to the terminally weird, 46-year-old, *OUT AND TRANSITIONING FOR LESS THAN THREE YEARS STILL* writer, artist, leatherworker, and tattooist, who's still VERY clearly in the process of dealing with her own self identification and a lot of past and present trauma, and think I'm going to be the one who's going to give you the perfect answer for this? (lbr, again, so many trans women get quizzed like this, then publicly crucified for saying the slightly wrong thing- see that bit about bait again? because oh yeah, this tactic, intentional or otherwise, has been seen a LOT this year.) Because honestly, there isn't a perfect answer. It's yet another messy human subject because all of us are messy to some extent to begin with. It's never going to have perfect sense or logic. I honestly don't think that it should. Perfect answers tend to not encompass being human answers very well at the same time.

And also, I'm not an expert. Nor should I have to be one. Especially when in my usual fields, I get to charge 50-100 bucks an hour for consulting, and here, I'll be lucky if you kick five bucks in my paypal or gfm in exchange for this. That said, nonny, hope you have a good night. Keep in mind this whole #2 section? Is rhetorical. I'm not expecting a dialogue or reply, and I don't really want one, at least not one with a greyface and shades. If you want to talk more? come off anon.

[furymint]

3 and 24 (For both of the boys, ofc)

edgy/misc oc questions | header

What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

i think my opinion of elliot's fatal flaw differs from him. he'd probably say something about his bleeding heart reaching out to issues that're too big and complicated. i'd say he's selfish, insecure, self-absorbed, and petty. If he didn't place himself so high in his own priorities, he'd be able to see others for more than what they are to him, and he wouldn't rank personal slights beside actual dangerous issues. He also has enough self-hatred and gossipy-ness about him that he somewhat enjoys his own miseries instead of solving them (see: letting xan's engagement ruin things for him).

nol's brain just needs a total reset honestly. self sabotage is his MO, and while he doesn't really recognize it, he does know that his perspective is not the widely held or even "right" one. it's not that difficult to figure out by people's stares that he's said or done something unacceptable, which makes him self-conscious and angry. this part of him gets featured in these writings where he admits he's out of proportion but can't help it re: heresy and dragons.

What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

nol's life would unironically be better without elliot in it, i think. mostly in the long run? their friendship was smth nol needed at the time it began--a fun distraction from the war and a little extra motivation to act like a normal human. but getting to know elliot upset nol's politics, faith, sexuality, and priorities in a way that he wasn't prepared for, and it compounded nascent complexes into life-threatening anxieties. elliot's active help is what keeps nol on track to a positive outcome, but without elliot at all, nol could've found a friend & lover that doesn't cause him as many problems.

most likely, he'd run into some person at church that he could share at least an economic class with. he needs familiar, mundane problems like carrying egg crates to the markets. less arguments abt morality, money, & responsibility. frankly, a female partner would work out better for him in a lot of ways. he understands & doesnt pathologize his attraction to women, he operates under a certain amnt of misogynist chivalry & awe (that doesnt take an entire deconstruction of his identity to eliminate), ishgardian society as a whole would facilitate & accept it, etc.

--

elliot is tougher tho... if i'm following the 'remove nol' route, he'd just try and find smth else to distract himself with. hopefully that's a person he can rely on, but lbr it won't, so he'll have to face all of the familial problems he ignored on his own: josseloux's past returning in the form of hoare, the social entanglements of his cousin julia and aunt gwladys, his grandfather trying to mend relationships before his death schisms everything.

elliot also wouldn't have much of an attachment for the Plight Of The Soldier, so he'd never do that whole nursing thing, or fighting with policy makers about veteran disability thing, or whatever else was useful in his repertoire besides 'music.' of course, I think he'd still be with his crowd of dandies writing circular pamphlets about pacifism and industrialization, and that would lead him to the republic floor—but it wouldn't make him very good or experienced politician.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Ocean's Twelve (2004)

Making Ocean’s Twelve must’ve been a blast. You can tell the actors were certainly having a good time. Too bad the fun can't extend to the audience as well. This film thinks it’s so clever, so funny. All I want to do is punch it in its smart little face.

Set three years after Ocean’s Eleven, Terry Benedict (Andy García) has located the Ocean's crew and demands they return his money - with interest. Fearful for their lives, the group schemes to pull a few quick jobs to pay him back but their efforts are hindered by the master thief “The Night Fox”. He agrees to help Danny Ocean (George Clooney) and his friends out of their jam if they can best his legendary skills.

Immediately, the film is in trouble. Either Danny and his friends will succeed in their mission and pay back Benedict - which will make us unhappy because we don't like him - or they will fail and the villain will have them all killed - which will make us unhappy because we like them. The only possible way to avoid audience disappointment would be for the scoundrels to somehow steal from the man - again - and beat him so decisively that he gives up trying to get his revenge. Unfortunately, that’s what the first movie was about so you know it’s not going to happen.

Ocean's Twelve can’t even figure out what to do with its characters. The problem is that although we sort of got a vibe that they got along, we never really believed the people rounded up by Danny were friends. It was pretty clear that at the end of the first movie, they were going their separate ways. Maybe some of them would keep in contact but no one was ringing up “The Amazing” Yen (Shaobo Qin) to see how he was doing. Like many others, he was hired to fulfill a role in a con and nothing more… but he was in the first movie so he has to come back again. How does the screenplay by George Nolfi use him? It shoves Yen into a bag and then accidentally ships him off to the wrong country so he can be “in the movie” but off-screen as much as possible.

Forget Twelve. This movie only has a few important characters. There’s Danny and Rusty (Brad Pitt), Danny’s wife Tess (Julia Roberts) and Rusty’s old flame, Isabel Lahiri (Catherine Zeta-Jones). Then, you have the villains with Vincent Cassel as The Night Fox and Andy García. Everyone else could’ve been condensed into one or two people. Similarly, the plot could’ve been thinned a lot. As is, there are so many twists and turns it’ll make your head spin. In another heist film, that would've been good but so many revelations are then revealed to be completely useless by the final scene it makes you feel like you wasted your time. In this instance, the main plan is so dumb you know director Steven Soderbergh is trying to pull a fast one on you and you don’t buy it for a second.

The most infuriating scene is also the unfunniest. The crew's target is the Fabergé Imperial Coronation Egg (quite the step down from a vault full of money if you ask me) so they recruit Tess (who is the twelfth member of the team) to help. Their plan? Capitalize on the running joke that she “sorta” looks like Julia Roberts by distracting the people in the museum while the others steal the egg. Not terribly clever, this gag also breaks one of the unspoken rules of filmmaking. The audience promises to ignore the fact that we know these are actors on-stage as long as the movie doesn’t draw attention to it and pretends the story is set in a world other than ours, “Last Action Hero”-style. As Oceans Twelve does this whole “I don’t look that much like her”, “Oh no! There’s Bruce Willis! Now I have to pretend like I know what he’s talking about” thing, you make a mental promise to hate the film no matter what it does later.

The worst part of Ocean’s Eleven” was the hint at a sequel right at the very end because deep down, you knew the magic couldn’t be replicated, that only the most convoluted of scenarios could bring these people together again. Ocean’s Twelve proves that so thoroughly it’ll make you wish the actors would all retire. (April 28, 2022)

[drawfee-quot3s]

wait, is this anything?

oh great

devil ed egg c r y baby?

- julia + karina

[inside-nordic-life]

New Group & Hygge Weekend

Hej everyone! 

Welcome back to my blog! My first week in the new group has been better than expected. The babies and little children are so cute. When I carry them around in my arms, my heart melts—yes, it really does. My working hours are different, and we have different routines because the children are between one and three years old. In my old group, they were three to four years old. However, I like it. The work rhythm is slow and calm, and I even get a break. I love cuddling them before putting them to sleep and waking them up afterward. And best of all: no meltdowns! No toddler tantrums, and it’s easier to resolve their fights and problems.

This weekend was also very nice. On Friday, I bought and wrapped a present for my host sister’s fifth birthday. Later, I went to a party at a Højskole, which was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed my time with my volunteer friends. On Saturday, we had a big family gathering at my host parents’ house. We had a big brunch, and I enjoyed sourdough bread and eggs. After a walk around the block, we ate Fødselsdagskage and sang a birthday song for my host sister. Later, I went to my room to work on my university applications. For dinner, we had burgers. All in all, it was a lovely Saturday, and it really felt like I was part of my host family.

On Sunday, I went to Aarhus with my volunteer friend Caro. We enjoyed the sunshine and the lively streets, filled with people celebrating the first warm days of spring. We discovered a cute bakery and had cheesecake. The place is called MOR ANA, and I highly recommend it to anyone who loves sweet treats. We talked a lot and had so much fun. Later, we had vegan burgers at the restaurant Plantbased—a great spot that’s not too expensive. Since vegan and vegetarian lifestyles aren’t very common in Denmark, I was really happy to finally have a good burger again.

Below, as always, I’ve added some pictures. Thanks for reading! 

Med venlig Hilsen Julia :)

[taromilksnake]

11:44am demolished

the best breakfast i’ve had since i ca remember in like, 20min

nothing special, french toast, hash brown, over easy egg and sausage but like, it was the platonic ideal of each of those, and perfect proportion. the french toast literally i almost moaned out loud. this was at the golden hill cafe btw :)

it was following a lovely little stroll from my first day at my apartment (overshot and took a peek at the flower shop for anthony), cool, breezy sunny day, lots of dog walkers out. the cafe itself seems to be full of regulars and/or locals. the chaquillas was recommended to me, but i’ll come back for it (with others ^^)

start of the week (break) was rough (lonely all thru move out by myself, b/c everyone else is at work). last 2 days made rougher w/ feeling unheard over the phone w/ anthony, realizing awkward/incompatible conversations would be a dealbreaker, and experiencing pretty bad dysphoria on top to boot. problem w/ anthony resolved itself (as it always does) after climbing w/ friends (bernadette, clemine, gabby) and some frank conversations. it was really reassuring to hear that anthony apparently experienced similar crisis like 3x already, one of them (?) surrounding feelings of jealousy/possessiveness. it was really sweet that he opened up about that, and i think he cried when i told him that [despite his sense of jealousy toward other people,] i love him anyway.

after hinotez dinner (shishamo callback), he “will come up just to see the apartment” turned into “let’s cuddle” and “i’ll be good” (it was already like 11:40 by the time we got upstairs) into sex and a sleepover, HAHA. it was really special and new all over again (it’s different and new each time), and it was the first “successful” penetrative sex. it’s so strange, b/c the sensation is the same, but the switch is flipped and it’s suddenly so hot and i want more. he felt really good and warm inside me >< good enough that i wanted to go for round 2 and anthony picked up on that, haha

the sleepover itself was better than the last, and i was more relaxed but also careful not to catch a cold (we were sleeping with our heads pointed at an open window, i realized). also the strain on my right wrist (“business,” moving, (injury) climbing, sex) was bad enough that i got up and put on a brace. in the morning was the best, we were both gently waking, and he spooned me and there was the cool morning air and sun. i could feel him hard against me, and he was gently moaning and grinding up against me (hot). we took another crack at the sex, and joked around about completing a scavenger hunt (and “blue” spell) for the condom before getting to have sex, hahaha. neither of us finished, but it was fun, and we cuddled naked and chatted about family, and chinese, and food. meowu was also a guest appearance throughout the night, snuggling up against anthony (!), jumping on and off the shoe cabinet, and snoozing on top of my chest.

on the way down to his neighborhood trash pickup, he attempted navigating the halls (of which i am now very familiar), and i showed him the view from the side balcony. it was really flattering that he said he REALLY likes my apartment, and is even a little jealous. of course, him calling me sexy and handsome all night didn’t hurt, either ^^

present time present day! i’ve been just chillin right outside the cafe at one of their tables. looking forward to dinner at postinos and a shoegaze concert w/ anthony tonight ^^ gunna go check out the flowers and grab a snack for julia ^^

[aridara]

So you started by using gametes: either large or small gametes. Unfortunately for you, Julia Serano (the author of the article I linked) already addressed that argument:

From an anti-trans perspective, the appeal of gametes is that they only come in two flavors: egg and sperm. Indeed, I have seen gender-critical activists assert that there is “no third gamete” or “no gamete in between sperm and egg.” But of course, this isn’t truly a binary outcome, as a significant number of people do not make any gametes, either due to infertility or because they’ve had their testes or ovaries removed. Are such people “sexless” according to this gamete-centric scheme?

But then you continue with: "People with dsd still have a sex that is clearly discernable some disorders of sexual development only affect males or only affect females." That doesn't tell me much.

If the criteria we use is "what gametes is produced by the individual", then anyone who produces "large" gametes would be "female"; anyone who produces "small" gametes would be "male"; and anyone who can't produce gametes would be sexless. No, I it doesn't matter why someone can't produce gametes (accidents, drugs, developmental disorders, gonadectomy, old age etc); the only thing that matters is which gametes are produced.

If the criteria we use is "what gametes were produced by the individual at birth", then that would solve the problem of people who start out fertile and then lose the ability to produce gametes. But it wouldn't solve the problem of people who were born without the ability to produce gametes.

Maybe we could use the criteria of "if you were born with the ability to produce large or small gametes, you'd be female or male respectively; and if you're born with a disorder of sexual development, we're just gonna wing it on a case-by-case basis". Except that if we do that, you would have to lay down objective, specific, rigid criteria for classifying each and every single possible DSD.

And even if you DO create a criteria that allows you to include intersex and infertile women into the definition of "woman", but exclude trans women... There's the issue that you'll have to actually apply it. Which, considering the high level of accuracy required, would mean mandatory gamete inspections. Every single time.

Now, I know what you're gonna say: "But that's unreasonable!". Yeah, and that's precisely the issue: it's impossible to uphold all parts of the anti-trans ideology in a reasonable way. If you claim that classifying people's sex is extremely important, then you MUST act as if it's extremely important. If you claim that making even just a minuscule amount of exceptions would destroy society, then you CANNOT afford to make even just a minuscule amount of exceptions.

And from there, it all falls apart. The ideology says that trans women must be excluded from the definition of "woman", so the definition must be worded in a way that allows you to exclude them. But the ideology also says that intersex and infertile women must be included, so your definition must include them while keeping out trans women. And the ideology also says that you MUST use objective biological criteria - not subjective opinions. And you can't afford to make even a minuscule amount of misclassifications - so say goodbye to the "let's look at physical appearances" method, because it's not precise enough.

But enough talking about what anti-trans activists define "woman", and let's talk about how I define it.

So: every single human society in history has its own cultural beliefs about sex, sexuality, masculinity and femininity. Among these beliefs, there's the idea that people should be divided into different categories based on those characteristics. Some societies had only two categories, others had more; some societies had overlapping categories that allow for movement, others had rigid and separate categories that don't allow for movement.

And yes, "man" and "woman" are two of these categories.

Now, every individual person picks the label that, according to their own subjective opinion, best describes their personal relationship with their own sex/sexuality/masculinity/femininity. That label is their gender identity. Think of it like a title that people use as a way to celebrate how far they have grown as a person, like when someone goes from "Miss" to "Mistress", or takes a different family name or returns to their old name.

And here's the kicker: someone's gender identity is NOT the same as society's expectations, or sex stereotypes - because sometimes, a person can pick a gender identity that goes AGAINST social expectations and stereotypes. Some people who identify as "women" wear feminine clothings, some do not; some have stereotypically feminine mannerisms, others do not; some have stereotypically feminine bodies, others do not. Sometimes people outright invent new gender identities that society didn't think of.

"But that's just subjective feelings!"

Yeah, we know. Welcome to sociology. It's ALL subjective feelings. And I don't know you, but I suspect that you wouldn't like it if people tried to ban your cultural heritage because it's "unscientific feelings".

[kai-anderson-whore]

Kit Walker x Reader where the reader always leaves little cute notes for him with a KitKat taped to the bottom of it. (KitKats we’re a thing during his time right?).

This is so cute

Kitkats (Kit Walker x fem reader)

Warnings: mentions of grace and alma

Taglist: @spill-the-t @iluwmycats @lili-tate @evanpeterswifeyy868 @jademunson @evanpetersfansblog @howtobesasha @lustforeverrrr @fand0mh03

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°

You woken up bright and early like usual before kit got up for work, slipping out of bed your feet dragging your body into the kitchen making some coffee, once you made a fresh cup of coffee taking a sip of the bitter caffeine filled drink you were ready for the day.

Taking some eggs from the refrigerator and bacon you started getting breakfast prepared, as you waited on the cooker heating up you got to scrambling the eggs adding some salt and pepper, placing the eggs on the stove you then added the bacon in the pan onto other hot hob.

As if clockwork you were greeted by kit rubbing the tired sleep in his eyes, "morning honey" he smiled placing a kiss on your lips his hands on your waist pulling you closer to him, "can you wake the kids up for breakfast" you said against his lips kit nodded pulling away and got the kids up for school.

"Morning mommy" Julia yawned wiping the sleep away from her eyes sitting by the table, "morning sweetheart" you smiled plating up the food for kit and the kids, Thomas sat down greeting you with a "good morning" as you handed him a plate of food.

You all sat and ate breakfast, kit said he'd take the kids to school today like he does everyday since the school was five minutes away from his work, once the kids were finished they're breakfast as well as kit you grabbed the plates from the table putting them in the sink.

"Alright guys go get dressed for school" kit instructed lifting himself from the chair and into the bedroom to get ready for work, meanwhile you decided to pack the kids and kits lunches making their favourite sandwiches turkey and lettuce for Julia, ham lettuce and tomatoe for Thomas and kit.

You also added a piece of fruit to the kids lunch bag as well as a sweet treat with a note on each one a short one for the kids since they are still not great at reading longer things and one for kit taping the sweet treat at the bottom packing it into their bags.

"You ready for school guys?" You called out zipping each one of their boxes Thomas was the first one to walk out ready followed by Julia with their bags strapped on their backs, "honey have you seen my shoes?" Kit called out you could hear him rummaged through everything trying to find them, "they're at the bottom of the dresser kit" you called back chuckling, "got em" kit called back.

A few moments later kit came out dress in his work gear, "ready kids" he asked grabbing his car keys and his lunch the kids had they're lunch bags in hand nodding to their dad, "Let's hit the road then" he smiled leaving a kiss on your lips saying goodbye.

(Kit's pov)

Dropping the kids off at school I made it to work on time helping people with their car problems filling the gas in their tanks, fixing tires ect, it was finally lunch sitting at my desk I opened the lunch y/n made me with a smile seeing a note and a kitkat tapped to it with a smile I let out a soft chuckle at the fact she gave me a kitkat since it was her nickname for me, I took the note out opening it before reading the note.

Have a great day at work kitkat I love you so much and I'm proud to call you my husband and be a step mom to Thomas and Julia you three change my world for the better and I love you all so much you'll never know

Love y/n

God I love that woman so much she showed me so much light after grace and alma and I couldn't thank her enough, putting the note on the side of my desk having my lunch and back to work.

Later on in the night I got home from work with a spring in my step glad I'm back home with my wife and kids, "I got your note" I whispered into y/ns ear wrapping my arms around her waist while she cooked dinner, "I mean every word" she said looking up at me with her bright shining smile, "I love you mrs walker" I said placing my lips on hers, "I love you too Mr walker" she mumbled against my lips.

[garciaasfluffypen]

bright beginnings pt. 9.

pairing: single dad!joseph quinn x fem!reader   wc: 865  warnings: very brief mention of jordan and her bf making out

part 8 • part 10

3/11 a/n: WOW MELLY UPDATING?? WHACK. also hi im back!! i ended up writing more to this part after and just never updated it??? so here’s the newly updated part (: 

a/n: im sorry this part is so short y’all, my brain has been FRIED after the week i’ve had at work, i’ll be self caring and writing (hopefully) parts that are a lot better than this one next. anywho, we’re back to y/n’s pov now.

“jordan i think he’s seeing someone.”

you dramatically flopped on jordan’s bed, not even caring that her boyfriend was literally inches away from punching you in the face for interrupting them. 

“what?”

“he mentioned a girl, grace, she was coming over tonight.” 

jordan pushed herself off lap, her shirt falling back into place. “say you’re lying.”

“i wish i was. he even left early today. with the twins.”

“no!” jordan let out a dramatic gasp. “that cheeky fucker! there’s no signs that he has a girlfriend at all.” 

“right? so that’s why i’m confused.” 

shawn sighed. “you’re confused? i’m confused.”

“not now shawn.” both you and jordan turned to face him, stoically faced. 

you turned back to jordan. “how could he openly flirt with me when he’s literally seeing someone?”

“you said he’s in the middle of a divorce, right?” you nodded. “he’s probably just mucking around, getting his feet in the pool. you don’t even know if they’re exclusive.”

“well he introduced them to the twins so it sounds pretty fucking exclusive.” you huffed. “i really thought there was something there, you know? it’s been so hard to find anyone over here because men suck- no offense shawn- and the moment i thought i found something that could turn into the relationship i wanted, he’s seeing someone else.” 

“why don’t you just ask him?”

“ask my boss about his love life? no thanks.” you scoffed. “i’m not making it obvious that i like him.”

“well considering how girls night went i’m sure he at least likes you a little bit. he touched your knee!”

“that could mean anything now that i know of grace.” your hands flew over your face, dramatically groaning. “am i stupid for lusting over him?”

“not at all.” jordan patted your knee sympathetically. “you had no idea he was even talking to other people.”

“thats the thing!” your hands dropped to your lap. “he doesn’t seem like that kinda guy! he seems very much like a mutually exclusive ‘i don’t talk to anyone else while i talk to you’ type of person.” 

“listen,” shawn started. “maybe he’s exploring his options you know? not everyone is exclusive during the talking stage.”

“i see your point babe, but i raise you- he just divorced his wife. how could he be seeing someone that fast?” jordan turned to you. “how messy is the divorce?”

“um, i think messy. i haven’t met julia in the months i’ve been working there, it’s only been joe so far.”

“so they probably haven’t been in love for a hot minute.”

“we don’t know that.” you sighed. “i probably put too many eggs in one basket. maybe i should just go back to tinder.”

“no no,” jordan ripped your phone from your hands. “you are not getting on that hellsite just because you think joe is seeing someone else. i’m banning you from tinder.”

“but-”

“no! no buts. if i see it on your phone or hear that stupid little bell it’s on sight.”

“you’re mean.”

“and you clearly need a mimosa. get off your ass about this! it's one mishap. just give it some time and maybe he’ll realize you’re the one for him.” 

you rolled your eyes. “yeah like drinking my problems away is going to help.”

“i’m just saying, it’ll help!”

“like fucking your boyfriend helps when you don’t want to talk about school?”

jordan let out a pathetic whine. “econ is hard, okay?” 

shawn looked like he was about to say something, but stopped himself. you sighed, looking back to jordan.

“you swear you saw no sign of a girlfriend at all on his facebook?”

“promise. girl guide honor.” jordan looked at you. “why would i lie to you about something like that?”

“to protect my heart.”

“well yeah, you got me there.” she shrugged. “i promise you, if i find anything i will tell you.”

you held out your pinky. “if you break this promise i’m killing you.”

“good to know.”

“hey so can i have my girlfriend back now?” 

“yeah, sorry. i uh, yeah.” 

“don’t go sulk!” jordan gave y/n a pointed look. “i know you.” 

“stop reading me like a book, it's weird.” 

“it’s not weird, it's intuition. go relax and read a book or something. leave it to me. i got this.”

you raised an eyebrow. “should i be nervous?”

“always.” 

with a roll of your eyes you climbed off of jordan’s bed, flipping her off as you went back to your room. she was right— you needed to relax. there was probably a chance he was talking about a friend. men were allowed to have friends. flopping onto your bed, you looked over to your bookshelf to try and figure out what to read. finally finding one, you picked it up off the shelf. you were about to open the book you had grabbed when your phone dinged. a facebook notification popped up on the screen, prompting you to hold it up so faceid could unlock your phone. the notification almost gave you a heart attack as you read what it said over and over again. 

“jordan…!” you yelled out, waiting for her reaction. “there’s been a development!” 

[weshney]

DP Writing Prompt

Someone in the DP universe suddenly starts acting weird.

They seem to have gained additional personalities. Except. The personalities aren't random.

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to write this person using any personas available on the voice actor's roster.

For instance, Dark Dan would be Eric Roberts in the US version.

Some fun characters for Dan that you could play around with include:

Sal Maroni from The Dark Knight

Dante in Dante's Hell Animated

Dr. Lee Parsons in Star Trek: Captain Pike

Detective Jack Boudin in Beverly Hill Bandits

Steven from the Drew Carrey Show

The Master/Bruce from Doctor Who

Raymond "The Madman" Ricci from Falcone

Sam Winfield or Roy Hubert from Law and Order

Mongul from Justice League

Agent Thompson from Heroes

Ken Kramer from CSI: Miami

Andy Armus from Criminal Minds

Reed Perkins from Burn Notice

Senator Starling from High Heels, Low Standards

Richard Sheridan from Hawaii-five-0

Charles Forstman from Suits

Dr. Albert Beck in Stalked by my Doctor and all the sequels lol

I find it so funny to think about Dan just constantly switching between a spy, lawyer, cop or mafia man until he just randomly gets a small bout of "I am now Duffy the talking cat," or "I am suddenly the fundraising coordinator for the Glee club." XD

The cause of this phenomenon could be a parallel universe problem or not. I leave that up to you.

You could also include an Easter egg that Dan is convinced Julia Roberts is his sister. XD