#just watching a practical skill demo is useless! I couldn't even take notes because those are all in a document I needed to log in to access
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I'm not afraid to admit I cried a little bit when I was laying on the sidewalk temporarily stunned. and I kept crying while speed walking to the bus stop a few blocks away. that shit hurt so bad, on top of an already miserable morning.
#woke up on time. got dressed + ate and was ready to go with a solid half hour until I had to leave#so I decided to set an alarm for 20 minutes and be warm and cozy in bed instead of risking flashbacks by sitting on the couch#however sleep me (asshole. I suspect its the same part that has caused issues like this before) turned off the alarm when it rang#and fell asleep again#I woke up with barely enough time to make it to the bus stop#and then I fucking fell! everything hurts!#I was late for class and couldn't log in because my instructor shares her screen which can't be moved from the login screen.#which was completely covered#and she straight up said that I could “just watch” and to suck it up (the latter was said differently but that was the gist)#just watching a practical skill demo is useless! I couldn't even take notes because those are all in a document I needed to log in to access#so. yeah. its sucked today. it's sucked so badly#one of my friends felt so bad for me that she bought me lunch because she wanted to do something nice for me ;-;#it was. by the way. incredible. the cafeteria + kitchen staff make some really tasty shit#today it was. a rose sauce over risotto + arugula + roast beef#easily the fanciest thing I've eaten in recent memory. the portioning was generous as well and it was just. holy shit#I forget that I do actually enjoy “real food” when it's not prepared by my mother with an undiagnosed ED who kind of forced her ED onto us#the longer I am free of her the more willing to try “healthy” food I am becoming. healthy food doesn't inherently taste bad.#it's a lesson that's taking time but I'm getting braver#anyways. that was a highlight for the day. it's not even 1 PM yet.#I also got praise from an instructor for answering a theory question in a way she hadn't heard from a student before and was impressed with#so that was also nice.#I'm home now and I'm gonna try to loosen the muscles around my left tm joint so it'll eventually go back in#if my jaw is still out like this tomorrow.. I'll have to get medical attention. this happening after so many years of my jaw behaving#bodes ill for the frequency of future subluxations#🥴🔫
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