#kid'z didn't say a word

[japanessie]

MY FIRST STORY on Hey! Hey! NEO! with Downtown 30 Sept 2019

MFS was so excited over this one. Must be an honour to be invited to be a guest for these famous comedians, eh?

Disclaimer: I did this with a lot of help from FujiTV onscreen captions and Google speech capture technology wherever possible. My ears can’t do this 100% on their own LOL. Not to mention listening to this a countless number of times! Hundreds! I also rephrased things liberally here and there. The photo collages only serve as a summary. Surely a lot of things were misheard too. Sorry for all the mistakes and fails 🙈 . Here, I picked some parts of the lively conversation and left out the rest that I’m so hopeless at. Words in italic or bracket are my own addition. I also selected some Japanese words to remember and left out the ones I’m not ready for. Sorry it makes things look messy.

A bit of background…..

DOWNTOWN is a popular Japanese comedy duo from Hyogo consisting of members Hitoshi Matsumoto and Masatoshi Hamada. So, this means, they use a lot of Kansai-ben. I can’t even pass standard Japanese, let alone Kansai dialect LOL.

MY FIRST STORY held a lottery for Fan Club members to attend the recording at FUJI TV, Odaiba City on 23 Sept 2019. I didn’t apply because I knew I would not be able to understand things on the spot. Not to mention I had no money to go anyway 😂. Congrats to those who got picked to go!

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MFS the “handsome"band?

Hitoshi Matsumoto: You guys are kinda like "Visual Kei”.

Hiro: (surprised) Really??

Hitoshi Matsumoto: Very handsome*.

* Not sure if he mentioned someone’s name or what with it.

Masatoshi Hamada: EH? (…looking at Hiro’s face…)

Everyone: (laughs)

Hitoshi Matsumoto: But I’m sorry ok (…putting his hand on Nob…), you are the least popular, I understand that*.

* Oh my God, that’s brutal (but I’m still laughing). Sorry Nob.

Everyone: (laughs hysterically)   Nob: (smiles and nods*)

* Aww…. Nob is so gentle & accepting. It’s not like he’s ugly though. Far from it. Especially if you’ve seen him in person. But it’s hard not to look super “unpretty” when sitting next to pretty boys like Hiro, Teru and Kid'z.

Masatoshi Hamada:   But first, they debuted seven years ago.

Hitoshi Matsumoto:  Since we know nothing about it, were you guys already this good-looking from the band’s formation time?

MFS members: (… err… how to answer this one?…)

Hiro: (…awkwardly..) I guess so. Maybe.

Masatoshi Hamada: Any huge place you guys want to perform in*?

* Actually I’m not really sure what he said. Just guessing ….haha.

Hitoshi Matsumoto: (putting his hand on Nob again) Any problem with him*?

* Kinda like any problem with having a not-so-handsome guy in a band of handsome guys? OMG, brutal LOL

Everyone: (laughs)

Nob: (..somewhat startled…. what, me?)

Hiro: (raises his hand and laughs) No, no. We’re not that kind of band. He’s fine.

Hitoshi Matsumoto: (nudging Nob) Don’t take it to heart, eh? Don’t take it to heart *.

* Not sure if that’s what he meant. Just guessing … huhu.

Everyone: (laughs)

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Hiro is such a chatterbox, they think he should just enter a grand competition

Hitoshi Matsumoto: (to Hiro) You’re such a talker*! (pretending to look annoyed) Are you going on R-1 Grand Prix or what!

* 喋り達者 / shaberitachisha (?) / master talker, chatterbox

Everybody: (laughs)

Hitoshi Matsumoto: I can’t even talk at all (when Hiro talks)!

Hiro: (laughs) No, no! I’m not going on R-1!

*R-1 Grand Prix is a popular competition where entertainers compete with each other making jokes or whatever funny things to win the title of champion.

* LOL Do you think Hiro talks too much?

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The Downtown guys know Hiro’s parents very well and are particularly good friends with Mama Mori

Masatoshi Hamada & Hitoshi Matsumoto: (bowing to Hiro in respect to Mama Mori) Send our regards to your mother.

Hiro: (bowing back) Thank you.

* Mama Mori did background narration for the comedy duo for many many years.

Hitoshi Matsumoto: I’ve been to your father’s concerts too.

Hiro: Ah, thank you so much (bowing to Matsumoto-san)

* Sorry, I don’t really understand everything else 😕. Matsumoto-san also mimicked Papa Mori’s onstage self-introduction but I couldn’t capture what was the joke… huhu 🙈.

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MFS team’s penchant for pranks & Nob’s heart of gold

Masatoshi Hamada: You guys like pranks very much, don’t you?

Hiro: We are mischievous with each other, either with the members or the staff. We do some light-hearted* “hidden camera” thingy. Playful**. Playing stuff on each other (laughs)

* 軽い / かるい / karui / light

* *遊び心 / あそびごころ / asobigokoro / playful

Masatoshi Hamada: (pointing at Kid'z and Nob) It was labour intensive* on you two.

* 骨 / ほね / hone / labourous

* 粗大な / そだいな / sodaina / grand

Kid'z & Nob: (smiling & nodding together)

Hitoshi Matsumoto: Well, keep telling. About the after party and all.

Masatoshi Hamada: You did that in Taiwan!

Everyone: (watching clips of Kid'z and Nob being pranked)

* ネタバラシ / netabarashi / spoiler

Masatoshi Hamada: (patting Nob) That’s horrible, ne~? Did you feel it was really serious, that being overseas?

Nob: Well, I didn’t know a word (of Chinese). So, I was like, “Could I have brought this powder with me or what?” (gesturing being shown a packet of powder with his hands).

* 粉 / kona / powder

Everyone: (laughs) 

* Both Matsumoto-san and Hamada-san couldn’t believe what they heard.

Masatoshi Hamada: (walking up to Nob and tapping his body)

Hitoshi Matsumoto: (reaching for Nob too & repeatedly slamming his hand up & down) Then you (should) just clearly* DENY** it!

* 明確 / めいかく / meikaku / clear, firm, solid, assure, precise

**  否定する / hitei suru / deny

Nob: (looking blurred & clueless)

Everyone: (laughs)

Hiro: (astonished at how goody-two-shoes Nob can be) You don’t say, “Could this be my powder?” in that situation!! You didn’t bring that, right?! 

Everyone: (laughs)

Hiro: In order to do that hidden camera prank, we firstly had to go on a special* trip to Taiwan. Then we had to add one Live performance to it too.

＊わざわざ / waza waza / specially, doing something specially rather than incidentally

Hitoshi Matsumoto: So, you did not do that onwards from that Taiwan live show?

Hiro: Yup, it was the other way round.

Audience: Eh??!!

Masatoshi Hamada:  (referring to the clip) That (felt like) half a year…

Hitoshi Matsumoto:  (…looking at Nob…) Dang! THAT entire time you were getting nothing BUT scolded* (by those actors?)?

* 恨まれる / uramareru / get scolded, get cursed ~ from the word 恨む / uramu

Everyone: (laughs)

Nob: (smiling and shaking his head)

* OMG, Nob is unbelievably nice! He’s not bitter at all.

Hitoshi Matsumoto: You’re the stuff for Wednesday’s Downtown*! (laughs)

* Wednesday’s Downtown is their famous comedy show.

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Why Teru was never picked for pranks?

Masatoshi Hamada: (puts hand on Teru) You are the only one who has never been pranked?

Teru: Yes, that’s right. I don’t know, (…looking at Hiro….) do you hate* me or something?

* Aww 😍…. so all this time, Teru actually feels being left out by Hiro 😮? He was like, Hiro, why you never want to pick me 😕? 

嫌わる / kirawareru / be hated ~ from the word  嫌う / kirau / hate, dislike

Hiro: No, no! The thing is, if it’s him (….pointing at Teru…), it wouldn’t be as funny.

Everyone: (laughs)

Masatoshi Hamada: How is that?

Hiro: He’s like (…still pointing at Teru …), whatever that’s happening*, he is unperturbed most of the time **.

* 起きる / おきる / okiru / get up, rise, occur, takes place

** 動じる / どうじる / doujiru / move, shift, motion

Teru: (laughs)

Hitoshi Matsumoto: Aah you know, my eyes can see around and filter out for certain* who’s funny and who’s not.

* 確かに / tashikani / certainly, surely

Note: I only guessed the rest of his sentence LOL

Everyone: Ok (…. anticipating Matsumoto-san’s verdict….)

Hitoshi Matsumoto: (…looking at Teru “scanning” him with a very serious face…) This one so totally NOT funny.

Teru: (…covers his face in embarrassment…)

* Spot on 😄! Teru oh Teru. When he tries to be funny, he just becomes corny & awkward instead. Strangely, when he’s not trying to be, that’s when he’s accidentally downright hilarious 😂

Everyone: (laughs)

Hiro: You may stop it right there * (laughs).

* Haha, so, it basically just stops there with Teru. Pranks may not work well on him because of his non-reaction to abnormal situations 😄.  But a true bromance story 😍. Hiro spared you all these times because he knew your character so well, Teru 🤗❤️💕.

* Aww... Teru was so embarrassed to be branded unfunny 😄.

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I don’t fully understand the joke where they asked Teru if he had some prank ideas on Hiro 🙈😭

*Disclaimer: Below is my best guess.

Masatoshi Hamada: (putting hand on Teru) How about your own?

Hiro: (realizing Hamada-san’s intention) For me?

Teru: (scratching his head) Hmm

Audience: Aaahhh!!

Hitoshi Matsumoto: (to Kid’z & Nob) Do you have something good for (prank) ideas?

Teru: (pointing to Kid’z, Nob & himself) The three of us are setting it up*. (nodding)**

* 仕掛ける / shikakeru / set up

** Does that mean “Yes, we’re thinking of pranking Hiro” 😍 ?

Hiro: (wide-eyed & taken aback by Teru’s answer) Holy cow! !

Masatoshi Hamada: Ah, good (….making a hand gesture as if putting something into something else….)*

* Don’t know the words he said here. Sorry 🙈.

Hiro: That’s not even a hidden camera thing!

Everyone: (laughs)

Masatoshi Hamada: You 3 guys can (shackle) him down and ….

Hiro: (looking at Hamada-san) That’s not even…!

Nob: (pretending to …hmm…. pour water onto something?)

Hiro: Normally I would already be complaining*!

* 訴えます / uttaemasu / complain

Hitoshi Matsumoto: Maybe make it like Masako-chan’s* hair or something (gesturing 2 pointy things on his head).

* If Matsumoto-san meant Masako-chan as Mama Mori, then I guess he was saying to tie Hiro’s hair into two girly piggy tails like his mother likes to do during her comedy skits as まーちゃん (Maa-chan).

Everyone: (hysterically laughs)

Hiro: (waving his hand & shaking his head) Ehh! How are you even going to get close to doing that?!!*

* Lets’s take Matsumoto-san’s suggestion LOL 😂 😂 😂

* Hiroki, you cunning little one! You’re so NOT wiggling your way out of this LOL

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How was that, my fellow MFS fans? I hope the rough idea is there even if I couldn’t get the thing 100% right.

Help and corrections are very much welcomed. Hehe!

Would love to hear your feedback about this talk. Do you think MFS is visually pleasing to the eye? Does Hiro talk too much? Do you feel Teru has no funny bones? Do you want to see Hiro getting pranked?

Oh wow! To me, I can see why DOWNTOWN is such a popular comedy team in Japan. They truly are hilarious! Thank you Matsumoto-san & Hamada-san.

[bl4cklabyrinth]

Documentary Film -Zenshin- Pamphlet Translation: Interview with Teru

Disclaimer: Please do not retranslate my work into other languages, as my translation may not be accurate. I am no Japanese or English native.

Originally posted on my Twitter for Teru’s 28th birthday.

Photo by Daisuke Ishizaka

Hiro, who took on the role as our leader, is irritating, cool, and I feel a sense of jealousy and respect towards him

- The 47-Prefecture Tour shown in the first half of the film seemed pretty tough.

Teru: I don't plan on doing another 47-Prefecture Tour anytime soon (laughs). But there are things I've come to understand from being able to finish the tour. It considerably strengthened the solidarity of the members and the team. It also led to us gaining more confidence, so I'm glad we were able to give it a go.

- When did you realize that your bond got stronger?

Teru: We'd have review meetings during the 47-Prefecture Tour. Every time we watch the videos, we'd discuss our performances and say things like, "It would be better if you do it like this". It's only natural for a conversation to start from there, don't you think? Every time, there'd be moments when we had to exchange our opinions, stuff like asking what we think about the other person. Because of that, we were gradually able to open up to each other.

- Was there any exchange with the members during the tour that left an impression on you?

Teru: In the middle of the tour, at a time when all 4 of us were feeling rattled, we finished our review meeting and went back to our respective hotel rooms but I couldn't fall asleep. So, I messaged Hiro on LINE, saying something along the lines of, "I'm pretty tired, I wanna go home ASAP". Then, Hiro replied back with words of encouragement, saying things like, "Teru is working the hardest". I replied, "I'm really grateful" in return. I also had a similar exchange with Kid'z and Nob-kun.

- You talk about things you couldn't say out loud at the review meeting on LINE, huh.

Teru: It's embarrassing to say them directly after all (laughs).

- But there was a scene where Hiro said something harsh to you at the end of a show and you told him he was irritating or something like that.

Teru: There was. That's Hiro's way of telling us off to boost our morale. When Sho went on hiatus and we didn't have a leader, he took on the role. So while I call him irritating, I still think he's cool. I'm jealous of him, even. And I have respect for him, too.

- As a guitarist, did you feel any pressure when you were made to shoulder all the guitar parts on your own?

Teru: Naturally, I had a rough time because I had to play the same way Sho did on stage. It was as if a student studying humanities suddenly became a science major. It really broke my heart, and there were times when I thought that I wanted things back the way they used to be. But I didn't have a choice, did I? Even in such a situation, if I deal with all my fears and worries head on, I'll be able to play well eventually. That gave me confidence, and because of the support of the people around me, I was able to do it.

- What did you feel when all 5 of you performed ALONE together with Sho-kun during the encore at Budokan?

Teru: How do I explain this... I thought, "I cannot lose". At the time, I felt as if Sho was a rival I couldn't afford to be taken out by. I also felt nostalgia and a sense of security with the 5 of us together, and, I don't know, I felt invincible overall.

- What is "MY FIRST STORY" to you?

Teru: A pirate ship

[bl4cklabyrinth]

Documentary Film -Zenshin- Pamphlet Translation: Q&As

Disclaimer: Please do not retranslate my work into other languages, as my translation may not be accurate. I am no Japanese or English native.

Originally posted on my Twitter.

Photo by Suzuki Kohei

We collected questions for the members from fans on Twitter from 2016.12.30 to 2017.1.13. We handpicked some questions from the bunch and answered them!

Which song hypes you up the most live?

Teru&Kid'z: Monochrome Effector!

Kid'z: I have so much fun playing it that I burst out laughing.

Nob: Probably Black Rail. Because it's the first song I have a bass solo in.

Hiro: Love Letter or Monochrome Effector. Love Letter is a ballad that isn't too heavy, it's just right. There's a J-pop feel to it that gently touches the hearts of the Japanese.

The line "Nothing is impossible, so you're not going to give up, right?" from Black Rail has helped me several times. Do you have a favorite lyric or a line you're emotionally attached to from a MFS song?

Hiro: I don't remember which song I used it in first, but I've come to like using the phrase "fall apart", and I've used it a couple of times after that in other songs.

Kid'z: I was just working on Tomorrowland and The Puzzle when I joined the band. They left a mark on me.

Teru: I love the line "I must say it, even though it won't reach you" from Still.

Nob: It's Saishuukai STORY for me. It's the first song that Hiro worked on the backbone of, and I think it was a turning point for him. It made an impact on me and made me feel that he was out there to win.

When did you decide to play music seriously?

Hiro: I started thinking about it and acting on it on my first year in high school, but it wasn't until my third year that it started to take shape.

Teru: I thought about it seriously probably on my third year in high school. When I was deciding on what course to take after graduation.

Nob: While at my job. When I was still working as a painter, I was coating a wall when I suddenly thought, ".....What the hell am I doing?" After that, I immediately said, "I quit." I met Sho-kun about three days later.

Kid'z: I started playing the drums when I was 3, but I think I thought about doing it for a living when I was in middle school or high school... But when I visited my parents' house the other day, I saw that I had written "I'll go to Tokyo and become a drummer" in my grade school yearbook. It came true, I thought (laughs).

A question for Hiro. Since Hiro was at the core of making the album ANTITHESE, what do you look for in terms of guitar, bass, and drums respectively?

Hiro: "Overwhelming personality". For each part, how will you rearrange the songs I made with only the basic chord progression and melody? How well do you think it will synchronize with my image? Those are what I'm looking for.

When you toured around the 47 prefectures last year, was there a place where you thought, "I want to live here~"? Also, is there another country you would want to live in?

Teru&Kid'z: Okinawa!!

Kid'z: Actually, I flew there about a week before the show. I've always loved that place, so I had a great time.

Teru: If we're talking about a country to live in, Japan is nice.

Kid'z: I think so too. To tell you the truth, I'm quite the clean freak (laughs), so if it's not as clean as Japan then it's probably not for me.

Nob: Fukuoka, Sapporo. The food is delicious! And Osaka. Its liveliness is amazing. I'm really dull (laughs) and I spend my time quietly during my off days, but when I'm not doing that I want to be in a place that's still bustling with people until midnight. Foreign countries are scary.

Hiro: I think Osaka and Fukuoka are good too. If we're talking about another country, America.

What do you always do before a show?

Hiro: Doing a simulation on the day of the show is a must.

Kid'z: Stretching, mental preparation in a place with no people. 

Teru: During the 47-Prefecture Tour, Hiro would slap me on the back before every show. It somehow gives me motivation.

Nob: I walk around the area all the time. Like what a track and field athlete does before the real deal. I do it on instinct to boost my spirits.

What do you think is the coolest thing about each member?

Teru: Hiro's voice, Nob's moustache, Kid'z' nose.

Kid'z: When Hiro sings, when Nob plays the bass, when Teru plays the guitar (laughs). Everyone's at their coolest when they're performing.

Nob: Hiro's face. Kid'z when he's playing the drums, and maybe how he looks like when he's driving. As for Teru... He would casually say a few striking words from time to time. Whenever that happens, I think "This guy's really solid".

Hiro: (thinks) Nothing really... Seriously nothing (laughs).

If you had a time machine, which would you rather visit, the past or the future? Also, what would you do there?

Teru: Future. I wanna see what I'll be doing 30 years from now.

Kid'z: Exactly the same as Teru. I want to ask my future self what it's like.

Nob: It's the past for me. I want to restart my life all over again, or to try living a different life.

Hiro: I'd choose the past too. It'd be nice to go back to the 90s, for instance, when music was selling like hotcakes, and see how well my own music would fare in that era.

A question for Teru. During the 47-Prefecture Tour, where do you think you had your best MC?

Teru: Well, Niigata left an impression on me. If I remember correctly, Kid'z was talking about things that didn't make sense during the MC, and I got seriously angry. That was funny, but it was in no way my best MC.

Please tell us your aspirations for this year!

Teru: I decide to take on a new challenge every year. Anything would be fine, even something small.

Kid'z: To do my best without overdoing things, probably. Because I pushed myself too hard last year (laughs).

Nob: I want to get rid of some neck fat, chisel my abs and train my body. And I want to be featured on a musical instrument magazine like Bass Magazine.

Hiro: To take things slow but get things done. I want to add more intensity to my current pace this year.

What's one song that changed your life?

Teru: For me, it's Ozzy Osbourne's I Want To Change The World. I heard the song while my dad was watching Ozzy's DVD and thought, "How cool, I want to start playing the guitar!"

Nob: Sigur Rós' GIósóli. The video also made an impact on me.

Kid'z: One by B'z. I've always loved B'z, but that song and its lyrics just hit me differently.

Hiro: I don't know if it changed my life, but I felt like my values have changed since I listened to TK from Ling tosite Sigure's music. It made me see things from his point of view, made me ponder on the meaning of the lyrics and interpret them myself, and had me yearning for approval and self-confidence. It was at that moment when I realized that there are ways of making this kind of music, and that I had another option in life.