#kinda ridiculous how i queue posts that need updating

[demonicintegrity]

Here’s my three star review I left on the Apple store, it’s called “I love tumblr. Apple is ruining the app.” I figured y’all would benefit from hearing it too.

Listen, tumblr has a lot to complain about if you’re looking for it. I will be the first to acknowledge its technical flaws with the bugs. But the bugs are usually exclusive to the app, the website itself is fine. And to tumblr’s credit, both the app and the website has been improving! The last few updates have been kinda good. (And yes, the people on it are hit or miss but that’s absolutely not the staff’s fault. We don’t fault Twitter staff for how Twitter is and the same idea applies here.) However, this last update is awful and it’s entirely on the IOS app and it’s 100% apple’s fault. Tumblr has a search function and you can search tags. Except, to stay on the Apple store certain tags have been banned.

Banned tags no longer can be searched and any post containing the tag will be hidden from all dashboards, regardless of if you follow that person. Tags like #ask to tag #queue #stim board #suicide prevention and #sex education have no reason to be blocked. They’re harmless tags, helpful even. And tags that do contain iffy subjects like #gore #body horror and #nsfw are tagged specifically so those who don’t want to see it can block it. Tagging is suppose an easy way to find and block content. And now many tags are both hard and softblocked and it’s up to users to try and figure out which tags are affected.

Apples guidelines is specifically breaking its purpose for all users. I don’t know what compels Apple to try and make everything “family friendly” especially when tumblr (and most social medias tbh) are meant for teens and adults, but not only is it a stupid notion but it’s ruining the whole point of these apps. Why Apple feels like it can dictate how “adult” these apps are is ridiculous, if people want mature content they should be able to find them. And it should be clearly marked so those who don’t want to see it can block it. Now these things are going to be untagged/tagged as something else and it’s going to ruin the experience for everyone.

So here’s my message to Apple (and any other big corp trying to be family/advertiser friendly) mature content is not *your* call to make. It’s the app’s and the user’s call. Tumblr’s whole appeal is being an blogging site anyone can use for anything. It is clearly marked that it’s meant for an older audience. Why does Apple have any say beyond that? This is what true censorship problems are, trying to make things palatable to everyone when it’s not meant for everyone. Especially when everyone has a different definition of palatable and has different content they want to see. And in this process, it’s not only going going to expose people to content they don’t want to see because the tags are broken, but this definition of “palatable” is going to become narrower and narrower and it’s going to exclude people and their voices, usually minorities and other looked down upon groups first, because they will be seen as unpalatable. This is not how things should work. Apple needs to do better and back off its influences, it is not needed and it is harming the app.

[moontaeilll]

ALL ABOUT SM GLOBAL PACKAGE & NEO CITY: SEOUL EXPERIENCE

by twitter user @sugnsook​ // @yudotaeil 

Hello~ so i am not that good at explaining/vlogging or writing stuffs but in this thread? or blogpost or wherever u guys reading this, i will try to describe my experience as much as I can. Also for now, I am dividing this post, FAQ-style  according to several topics, and I will put a separate detailed post on my own Neo City: SEOUL experience. I hope this will help for u guys deciding to splurge a bit on concert/global package!

Disclaimer: In the past, I got a few ccs complaining about my fangirl related-expensive expenses, I just want to note earlier here that as the whole prior to the actual concert, I was a part time student & working 30+ hours a week, working every chances I get. It was also my last semester of undergrad studies & I have been wanting to attend NCT’s first ever concert since 2017 and been really saved up since then, so I consider the large expenses is pretty much a treat for myself.

Tl;dr: if you worked hard enough and really wanted to attend your faves event, just go for it, as it was really worth it.

— General

What is included in Global Package?

Concert ticket (depending on days u wanna go), a good quality hotel for your stay, return transportation to & from the concert venue - hotel, preorder access to official merchandises, NCT 127 theme global package-special merchandises, NCT 127 theme snack boxes (after the concert), One themed lunch, a half day tour with tour guide before the concert, special event (varies according to what concert) - for NCT127’s we got a photoshoot session with NCT127’s life-size standee in SM’s infamous practice room itself.

How much does Global Package cost?

All i can say first thing first is….it IS costly. The ones I am paying is $949USD for Superior Single (Course C) as shown below:

The difference between the prices & packages are it depends on which hotel they will locate you & your seating in the concert. They also have Course A, Course B & Course C which depends on the concert days you are attending. Because I am flying out to Seoul just for the purpose of concert so why not just buy the two days ticket? And yeah that is why I chose Course C.

When does the ticketing open?

Usually the global package ticketing will only open at least one month prior to the actual concert, just like the concert announcement itself.  Basically right after SM announce the concert, just be prepared as the ticketing will be shortly after it, right before the general ticketing starts. My advice is just, save up save up and save up as it is really well-known super costly.

How competitive the tickets are?

It is less competitive than general ticketing for sure, but pretty competitive in between ifans itself. When I bought mine, I initially planned for just economy ones but the ticket sold out WHEN i clicked “payment”. So, be quick or you might need to wait a bit more. I’m the type to be anxious if I dont have my ticket yet so I really want my ticketing matters to be settled up as soon as possible so-- when I figured out the economy package got sold out I quickly clicked on superior option - impulsively hehs.

During that ticketing, SM allows you to hold your payment up to 2 hours, as for twin package buyers can split payment. So if the tickets sold out, you might be able to get it after 2 hours. NOTE THAT: SM changed the policy from 2 hours to 30 mins now.

Eventually SM will release more packages and you CANNOT change your options once you have buy it. The packages will be available up until a week/or two before the concert, but the type of packages is really depends. I would say, Course C - Economy package sold out pretty quickly because that is what most people aiming for.  

*also, keep refreshing the page if you are buying at the exact ticketing open time! The ticketing for mine opened 3 mins before the actual time so yeah….

How is the payment made?

Paypal only. Just be sure you have signed up to smtown travel account, and link you cards or have paypal balance to get your payment completed smoothly. Your package will only be confirmed once you get the payment confirmation so, having a working payment method is important. SM’s cancellation policy is ridiculous so I recommend everyone who is interested to join GP to do a thorough research beforehand.

Can international fans join general ticketing?

Yes, but not really feasible, as Yes24 sites require verification, unless you have connections with korean verifications or buy from 3rd party. The downside of 3rd party is you might get even more expensive ticket collectively compared to what Global Package has offered.

How good the seats are?

It depends on your luck as you will only draw your ticket basically the day before the concert. The more you paid for the package, the better the seats. For standing you might get a better queue number and in korea concerts you strictly go in by queue number. I chose seating, so for luckily one of my seat was right next to extended stage, and another seat was on the other side but center view. Also i luckily got both sides of seating so I can enjoy the concert with both views.

It is possible to trade your ticket between other global package holders tho - bcs i saw people did this at my hotel lol but you cannot ask sm to change your ticket. The concert ticket will be written as “해외팬투어” (intl fans tour), instead of your name.

My seat on the first day

My seat on the second day, center view

My seat on the second day, side view

Is there a customer service page i can rely to?

Yes. If there is one thing i would applaud SMtown travel for, it is for their customer service. I used a lot of their “Q&A” page and they typically will reply you within one business day. If you ask on weekend, they will respond to you as quick as on Monday. So if you have any like literally, ANY question about your package, just send a question to them and they will reply personally as soon as they can. And it is in english.

— Logistics

After you have bought your package, SM will update the logistics & schedule 2 WEEKS before the concert. So don’t worry if they ghosted you out before that 2 weeks lol.

Technically, they will divide the hotels according to the package type (dlx/superior/econ), then they will divide you into bus numbers, according whether you are seating/standing. Also your schedule will depends on the bus number you get. And this is non-exchangeable, as they prepared everything according to the list that they grouped you out.

How is the hotel?

For me, i got located at Ibis Styles Ambassador Hotel in Gangnam. Because I got single package, i got the whole hotel room for myself, lol what a new experience, as for my solo travels i only go for budget hostels 🤣. The hotel location is only 15~20mins subway away from the venue, and it is walking distance from COEX. There are a bunch cafes & convenience store nearby so it is pretty easy to get something. The only thing is SM’s booth opens at 8pm, so because I arrived early, I just roamed around until the booth opens. At SM’s booth, it is where you pick up your preordered merchs, sm’s merchs and most importantly draw your tickets. Also I took the chance when gathering with fellow global package goers to trade anything i needed to exchange while everyone is there.

I dont know where to put this under, but for GP, We were given a greeting card from the boys, bunch of stickers, a letter set (with colour pencil), L-holders, bunch of posters and nct127’s moodlight. For the letter set, you can decorate and write fanletter to the members and hand it to your tour guide at the time they ask you. I bought some masking tape and stickers beforehand to decorate my letter, u can prepare it ahead too and transfer it to the letter they give as the time frame is really short.

Can I go to the concert by my own?

Yes you can~ Be sure to tell your tour guide so that they dont waste time waiting. You also have to tell them whether u want to go back to hotel with them or not, as that is when they will hand you the snack boxes. If you are not certain of travelling alone in Seoul, i recommend to travel by the bus they provide, because the tour guide will bring you right until the concert entrance. For me, I wanted to join fan-events and roam around the venue more, so I decided to go on my own. (Best thing about it was when you’re in a train with fellow NCTzens they just airdrop you a lot of nct related stuffs — including the selfies they airdropped at the venue!).

— Itinerary

How tight the schedules are?

It kinda not as tight as I thought? Except for pretty early schedule on the first day, also Maybe because I got a seating ticket so I dont go to venue after the tours right away (standing fans had to queue right away after the tour)

And for me, this was my schedule —

25th 8pm: pick up merchs, ticket etc from SM booth 26th 10am - gather at hotel lobby 10:30am - depart for lunch (at Bulgogi Brothers), it was NCT127-theme and they play nct’s songs! 11:50am - depart to COEX artium - u get 1 hr to roam around there, I chose to roam around smtown museum 1pm - depart to SM C&C building in cheongdam, for special event Around 2~ish - depart back to hotel

U get free time in between and gather back at 4:30pm to depart to concert venue as concert starts at 6. As concert ends around 8:30pm, they give you about 45mins~ to get back to the bus if you wanna go back with them. 27th Bus departs at around 2 pm if i recall, as concert starts at 4pm. I went out at 10am lols (also tell your tour guide!) and bus departs around 7:30pm after the concert. 28th - check out around 12pm.

Detailed itinerary will be updated in my experience post.

The best thing about the concert period was they give you discount on some SM-related stuffs. For example, they give 30% off (?) for beverages at sm cafe for ticket/GP holders, and also discounted smtown museum admission. There were also new merchs got released that time, and some other promotions going on.

Snack box after the concert!

Merchs I collected from kfans giveaways at the venue

The best part was NCTZens spreading out the fanproject - sing Paradise during Encore; using Airdrop. NEO indeed 😎

The amount of memes & stuffs being airdropped - lol 

— Budgeting

General budgeting for my trip:

Flight - around 1.6K MYR return trip with 20kg luggage & meal (AirAsia)

Hotel - i only went during my GP stay period so it was all inclusive (hotel + concert ticket) with that $949 USD

Other expenses (tmoney, food, additional merchs) - about $250 usd is enough for me for 4 days, considering I spent on buying cosmetics & merchs a lot. My own preordered merchs was separate amt too, it depends on what u do/willing to spend around that period.

— For Muslim Fans

Do they provide halal meals?

They dont provide halal meat, but you can request for vegetarian option or seafood. During lunch, I got vegetarian bibimbap set. And for the snack boxes, too bad SM provided ham/bacon in the sandwiches, which I am not confident in removing it so I decided to not eat, just eat the cookies. Also they offer late-night meals after the concert (separate pay), but I didnt opt for that one and only went to eat at nearby places.

Can I pray before the concert?

Yes~ as I mentioned earlier, there are a few hours gap before you depart to concert so you can pray at your hotel beforehand. Or if you dont mind, like I did as I went to venue early on the 2nd day, I went to pray at Olympic Park area itself, there are a lot of benches or u can walk a bit further to isolated places to pray. I just sat down at some bench and pray while sitting down.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

These are what I can think of, and as I said earlier I do have another separate post regarding my own NEO CITY: Seoul experience, and I will update under a thread. If you have any questions feel free to contact me via twitter (@sugnsook/@yudotaeil) or  curiouscat.me/6sungjae.  Also for neo city fancams/random pics about my trip, it will be updated eventually under the main thread where this entry is posted :) Hope it helps!

[canaryatlaw]

okay, it’s really late and I really need to write and go to bed! but today was pretty good. I ended up waking up around 10, earlier than normal, so I took my time having breakfast and chilling out for a bit before starting to work. I reviewed the record for most of the day, ended up getting almost 7 hours in. I got an email from the guy who had been editing my briefs saying I’d done a great job on the edits for the last one and he only had a few minor changes so he’d just do those himself, quickly followed by one from my normal boss guy saying other guy had just told him I’d done really well with them and he knows other guy can be a harsh critic so if I’ve earned his approval I’m definitely on the right track. and like, hearing all of that after all the stressing I’ve done over this over the past two weeks is like....so much vindication. I felt so much better about all of it. but yeah, spent the rest of the day looking at the record and highlighting, got a little past 500 pages out of 1100, just starting the medical records which tend to go fast, so I’ll probably finish it tomorrow. this guy apparently has marijuana induced psychosis....really scary shit. anyway. When Jess got off work she headed out and I put an order in to the sushi place. She arrived and shortly after the food did, and we ate our sushi while first watching an english Monsta X interview video where they were basically playing jenga with questions written on the blocks and it was fucking hilarious. Seriously, if we had a show with American celebrities that did the shit they do in Korea, it would be ridiculously fucking popular. and then we watched the most recent two episodes of Young Justice. I have mixed feelings about them only releasing one episode a week now, I want it to last longer but one episode feels so short now lol. These two were kinda all over the place honestly....it’s very obvious they’re trying to stick representation in there any way they can, but it doesn’t exactly work quite how it should always. Anyway. when we finished that, we walked down the street to get some ice cream, the shop is celebrating it’s birthday so they have these tiny cones (like an inch tall) they’d fill with whipped cream and stick in the top of people’s ice cream and it was super fucking cute. I sampled one of their new flavors, rhubarb crumble, but it didn’t really have much rhubarb in it so I decided to go with one of my regulars, banana cream pie, maybe get the rhubarb another day. So we ate our ice cream and then headed to our respective apartments. I decided to start watching Queer Eye, which I of course got emotional over very quickly (it was like 10 minutes into the first episode when I started tearing up) and I really love that they’ve expanded the original concept of the original show being “Queer Eye For the Straight Guy” and now will do anybody because the stories are just so touching. The first episode with Jonathan’s former teacher was so heartwarming and I cried so much. So I watched that for most of the rest of the night, eventually stopping to focus on playing bts world for a bit lol. I was also updating the company tumblr which took fucking forever because I’ve been super behind on posts since I haven’t been posting much on this blog and I use this one as my main post source for the company one. But I eventually filled the queue and was satisfied. I’m officially stuck on all of the bts world levels, like on the main story and all the AU stories, so I guess I’ll just be grinding and leveling up cards when I can for now. And yeah, then I showered and started getting ready for bed and am now here, and somewhere in there wasted too much time because now it’s really fucking late and I need sleep, so that’s what I’m going to do now. Goodnight dears. Happy weekend.

[wellwhataboutme]

I was tagged by @hithelleth , thanks!

1. Why did you choose your url?

It was how I was feeling at the time. Plus, every other name I came up with was already taken. And this was supposed to be temporary but I never found one that I liked and eleven years later it's still here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2. Any side blogs?

No.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Since December 2010.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

queue

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

'Cause I liked it here. It was full of people liking/fangirling/obsessing over the the same things I was, so after lurking for a while I thought it'd be easier to just join and follow people.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Because Charlie Matheson is a queen and super pretty and I love her and I miss her!

7. Why did you choose your header?

Because garcy is the OTP to rule them all and that was such a beautiful moment for them and I can’t get over it!

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

This, if you can believe, has a ridiculous amount of notes. Someone added a tag about the devil being cute or something and then it was on fire. Kinda bothers me sometimes 'cause I spent no time on it, and there's other posts that I've made that are of course better and I've spent so much time making them and they don't get that many notes, but whatever.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

A couple maybe that are active, I’m not sure.

10. How many followers do you have?

A few! ♥

11. How many people do you follow?

75. But a lot of them haven't updated in a long time.

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

No.

13. How often do you use tumblr a day?

Like all day, usually!

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

No.

15. How do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

I just scroll past them.

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes (even if I don’t always do them, sorry about that).

17. Do you like ask games?

I like it when other people play them!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I have no idea. I'm not even sure what tumblr famous really is.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I'm very happy when I see them, but is it a crush..?

20. Tags!

I’m not tagging anyone, as usual!

[heartmeadows]

the new pack seems pretty awesome, esp since I’m all about cottagecore and just... farming and gardening and all that. AND THE ANIMALS!!! tho tbh most of these things that EA has been giving or is gonna give us have already been given to us by modders... so I’ve been enjoying that stuff already anyway. and will be continuing to do so for a while since I have no interest in updating my game even to the paranormal pack. also I’m calling them all packs cause idk what EA calls these things, idc I don’t pay for it. anyway, my game works almost perfectly despite my 41GB of mods which I personally can’t see myself getting under control lmao since for this game is unplayable without most of the CC I have. I have so many different vibes/aesthetic I’m going for, that’s how I like my game and EA does not deliver. I swear TS2 could give me all of this without having to have such a ridiculous amount of CC. I just can’t install it bc I don’t have space on my so called gaming laptop lmao. one of my brothers phone literally has more space than my gaming laptop so yeah.... apparently 237GB means nothing these days... and this laptop isn’t even that old. I miss having a PC ughh anyway, I’ll be posting some older cottage core stuff. Idek if I can call some of it cottagecore since that aesthetic seems to be very limited and if you go outside it your aesthetic suddenly has a new name and like... just saying I don’t feel like there’s need to be naming aesthetics and vibes to the point some folk do. but I digress. Idk if anyone remembers the cowplant farm in strangerville I mentioned at some point? well I’ll be finally posting that! and also this cottagecore gameplay I started ages ago. I’m holding onto way too many screenshots just cause I’ve been too depressed to post a lot. but yeah, I’ll be posting all that. but I also have this kinda grungy, funky ts2-esque (at least that’s what I’m trying to make it) gameplay in evergreen harbor that I’m currently working on and will be posting, too. lmao sorry this got so long! my point could’ve just been that hey, I’ll be posting this and that. but anyway, I’ll try to set up a queue and make things vary so it’s not just one gameplay going on. I also will keep posting the Honeysuckles and I’ll post the Clementines again too! so a lot to look forward to :)

[supermenteuse]

Could you Share some head-canon for Lila's redemption arc??? I would love to read that -Eh'lir-

[Edit: Was trying to update the queue, accidentally re-posted this, sorry about that]

*cracks knuckles* my time has come

so this was SUPPOSED to be like a quick explanation but then it spiralled off into a quasi-fic OTL (this is basically one of my scrapped fic ideas, actually)

* = Listen Marinette recognised Kim’s heart brooch while Dark Cupid was half a block away from her and also freakin’ flying, I’m 90% sure the Miraculous just gave her enhanced eyesight.

Ladybug calling out Lila is captured on camera and people figure out she’s Volpina pretty quickly afterwards. Lila’s reputation is ruined and she is pissed but also pretty sad because now no one likes her or believes her

So Marinette reaches out to her, because she feels guilty for her involvement. Adrien tries to make things up to her because he understands wanting to make friends, and having everyone judge you based on your status and connections rather than you as a person. (I believe that Lila didn’t lie about everything she’s experienced, she only lies about some things because people will believe her anyway)

It takes a while, but eventually Lila just, lets them do whatever, because god knows things can only get worse.

Still, while Lila does end up with some friends, but she’s still not okay emotionally. Maybe she gets jealous about Marinette crushing on Adrien (either because she still likes Adrien, or because she likes Marinette, or because they’ll end up liking each other more than they like her), or she’s just still upset with people still calling her a liar and generally not trusting her.

Or maybe she’s just upset about her life in general, because moving all the time and having no close friends is not a fun thing.

So she gets akumatised again, but instead of becoming Volpina, she becomes Discordia, and she expresses her anger and frustration and loneliness by causing chaos and mayhem. But, before Ladybug or Chat Noir can confront her, she vanishes and the akuma leaves her and returns to the Papillon (without multiplying, because that defeats the purpose of stealth)

But Lila has no memory of doing any of that. She hears about Discordia and just hates Paris and its ridiculousness. 

And Marinette and Adrien are suffering, because without capturing Discordia’s akuma, they can’t fix the damages she’s done. So people are injured, buildings are wrecked and they’ve failed to protect Paris. So they’re both independently freaking out and Lila may or may not notice her friends are uneasy, but everyone’s kinda on edge about this.

Then Discordia shows up again, because Lila’s emotional state is a constant wreck (maybe she feels good about having friends, and improving on her honesty, but then she sees her friends with other people and doubts the validity of her own friendships). She manages to transform back and escapes Ladybug and Chat. People are losing faith in their heroes.

But Lila’s getting suspicious about suddenly missing bits of her day. There’s no way it took her over an hour to go up the stairs of her apartment. Why is she really tired even though she hasn’t left her room?

Then she overhears Marinette and Adrien comforting each other after school, because both of them are stressed over Discordia and it shows. Her jealousy spikes and Discordia makes another appearance and makes a wreck of the school building. Marinette and Adrien manage to excuse themselves to split up, but Discordia escapes and transforms back. Ladybug and Chat Noir see the akuma flying out of one of the school windows. They realise it’s from the girls’ washroom, and rush in in time to find Lila blankly asking what the hell is going on.

They don’t confront her immediately, because they can’t be sure Lila is Discordia, so they just let her go and reconvene. If Lila is Discordia, is she acting of her own volition or is she being manipulated? But Lila’s been getting better around their civilian selves, even Adrien, but Lila’s also a liar and a very good one at that. Suddenly there’s doubt. Is Lila messing with them? Does she hate Ladybug and Chat Noir so much as to willingly work with the Papillon? No, Ladybug says, Lila doesn’t remember what’s happened. She didn’t pretend to be involved in the attack, she genuinely doesn’t know. Still, there is some doubt, and they are not the best at staying normal.

Marinette and Adrien try, and they seem okay to everyone else, but Lila knows body language and something is wrong. It doesn’t help that she’s pretty much certain she is Discordia, but now she can’t tell anyone because look at all the damage the akuma’s caused. Why believe Lila? Lila, who lied about so much already and probably only became friends with Marinette and Adrien because they pitied her? Lila, who probably would help the Papillon to get back at Ladybug?

So her emotional state just gets worse and Paris is terrified and Marinette and Adrien are just so guilty for the people they can’t help or protect and it’s just awful all around. Parisian authorities can’t depend on Ladybug or Chat to take down Discordia, so they step in, and basically can’t really do much.

Because sure, Discordia’s only specialized in offense and speed. She gets in, screws stuff up, and gets out. She has no real defensive ability, but she’s still faster than mundane weaponry. But she doesn’t have a Miraculous, she doesn’t have invulnerability. She lands badly while escaping an attempt to capture her and Lila comes to in her room with a bruised shoulder. There’s no explaining it, now.

She watches the news talk about Discordia, and she can’t deal with that guilt. It doesn’t matter if people believe her, not when her continued silence is hurting people. It doesn’t matter what her intentions are if she’s hurting people. Lila doesn’t matter if she is the one hurting all these innocents.

Lila decides to tell someone. She has to tell someone, anyone. And then a butterfly phases through her window and merges with her bracelet for the second time in an hour.

Who would she confide in, a soft voice asks. Marinette, who can’t even look her in the eye, who ducks her head and looks so uncomfortable around her now? Adrien, who smiles modelling smiles and laughs awkwardly and tries too hard to seem normal? Alya? Nino? People who may as well only be polite to her because Marinette and Adrien liked her?

Who would believe her, for all her previous honesty? Does she really think Discordia’s acted entirely of someone else’s accord? Does she believe Discordia’s actions are not a reflection of her own thoughts? It’s Lila who wants Paris ruined, it’s Lila who wants Ladybug dethroned from her heroism, it’s Lila who is deceiving everyone around her.

And Lila tries to defend herself. No, she doesn’t want to see all these people hurt. She doesn’t like the fear she’s caused. She doesn’t want anything Discordia has done.

But of course she does, the Papillon insists, because she’s just that sort of person. And, even if she denies it, is anyone really going to take her word for it? Even if Marinette and Adrien weren’t so distant from her now, did they ever really like her? Of course not, they felt bad for her, they felt bad for everyone else distrusting her, they only stood up for her because their consciences wouldn’t allow them to be bystanders. They didn’t help her for her own benefit.

Lila says it’s a lie, says it has to be a lie.

And yet, the Papillon says, she believes it herself. 

The worst thing is, he’s right. She does believe it. His words aren’t just attempts to incite her, they’re thoughts she has of herself as well.

However, he says, things don’t have to be this way. Lila doesn’t have to be alone. Her life doesn’t have to be so. She can have her friends, Adrien and Marinette who like her for herself and won’t ever leave her. She can have her happiness.

All he needs is a favour in return.

Lila knows she’s being manipulated, Lila knows it can’t be so simple, Lila knows the Papillon is not doing this out of the kindness of his heart.

Lila opens her mouth, and her bedroom door breaks open.

Jump back about fifteen minutes. Marinette and Adrien run into each other about a block from Lila’s apartment. Just visiting Lila, they tell each other. And they can’t deal with it anymore, they confide in each other that they think Lila’s been akumatised. They’re both pretty relieved it wasn’t just them assuming things. They make it to Lila’s apartment building, just in time to see something small and dark and winged fly through a window*. They realise 1. that’s an akuma, 2. that’s Lila’s room, and 3. they need to get up there asap.

They each try to convince the other to stay behind, try to get away so they can transform, but they’re both stubborn and dense so they just rush up to Lila’s apartment room still in their civilian forms. They don’t have keys, but lucky them, the door’s not locked. They reach her room and aren’t very polite in opening the door.

They find Lila on the floor, crying, with a holographic mask over her face. Neither of them really think.

Don’t listen to him, Marinette pleads, please don’t listen to him. She kneels down next to Lila and grabs her by the shoulders. Whatever he says, don’t listen to him.

But he’s telling the truth, Lila says tearfully, she really is pathetic, she’s the one who hurt all those people. It doesn’t matter her intentions, she still acted on her hatred and jealousy.

That’s not how it works, Adrien says, that’s not how akumatisations work. People think bad things all the time, we feel bad things and sometimes we wish bad things on others. But we don’t act on it, that’s what matters.

But I did act on it, Lila tries to say, but Adrien kneels down next to her and Marinette and rests his hand on her shoulder.

The Papillon is making you act on it, he says, the Papillon is manipulating your feelings. It’s not your own actions, it’s not your choice, if it was, would you feel so upset with yourself?

Lila’s mask begins to flicker. The voice in her head gets louder.

They’re lying, it whispers.

Come on, Marinette grips her hands, we know you don’t mean to hurt anyone. We know you’re better than that. We believe in you.

They don’t, Lila hears, they’re lying, they just don’t want her to become akumatised, they’re just trying to stop her.

And then Adrien hugs her. It’s awkward, from one side, but he’s warm and Lila swears she can feel his worry. Marinette mimics him, and Lila’s just sat on the floor now with her friends hugging her from either side and the mask continues to flicker.

They’re lying, lying, lying-

We’re not lying, they say.

Lila wants to doubt them. Too good to be true. So good it must be a lie. But they’re holding onto her, repeating reassurances. They believe in her, she isn’t cruel, she isn’t out to hurt people, she can fight the Papillon, he doesn’t deserve to use her feelings like that, he doesn’t deserve to witness them like so.

You’re not alone anymore, Adrien says, we’re not alone anymore.

You don’t need to lie to us, Marinette says, you don’t need to impress us.

It can’t be so easy, it can’t be so simple, it can’t be true, Lila says.

It won’t be easy, they say. It won’t be simple.

But it can be. If she lets it. If she trusts them.

The mask shatters. Lila comes to terms with her pain and her grief. She doesn’t need to fight it, she doesn’t need to hate it, she just needs to accept it as a part of her, and move on.

A pure white butterfly coalesces from her bracelet, and flutters off through the window.

And then there’s a lot of hugging and crying and I should have just made this into a fic or something but I’ve spent like three hours on this I can’t believe myself