#kurt hummel fic

[spaceorphan18]

Five Times Kurt Talks About Sex and 1 Time He Doesn't (Part Five)

A/N: So, this was inspired the other day by a Nonny who was asking about how Kurt interacts with others on the topic of sex and this little idea popped in my head.

It’s a little mini-series, and I’ll post one part a day, then I’ll get it up on Ao3 after it’s complete.

It’s set in a post-canon-ish world when they’re all living in New York. The whole thing takes place over the course of a day.

****

Conversation Five : Santana

“We are doing it.” 

“We are so not doing it.” 

“C’mon, Hummel, I know how you like it.” 

“I think you’re ridiculous and it’s not happening.” 

“Because you’re afraid of losing.” 

“I’m not afraid of losing.” 

“Okay, then we’re doing it.” 

Santana slams a shot glass in front of him on the kitchen counter, grinning wildly as she opens the bottle of Vodka she’s brought.  Kurt arches his eyebrow high.  He knows he shouldn’t have let her in the door.  He had been having a nice, quiet evening with a book and a couple of episodes of a baking show queued up on his tv.  With Blaine at his performance, he knew he’d get a chance to have the night to himself.  And then Santana had burst through the door.  It’s not his fault that Santana can’t entertain herself while Brittany is away.  

“You couldn’t go crash Rachel and Jesse’s?” Kurt suggests.  “I hear they’re looking for a third.” 

They head to the kitchen table, then Santana pours them both a shot, cackling.  “As much as I’m dying to get a look at Rachel Berry’s delicate flower,” she answers sarcastically, “they’re busy tonight.  Besides, it’s been a while since you and I have had a little quality one on one time.  And if I can’t get you to go out with me - because let’s face it, you are a seventy year old woman at heart - I thought I’d bring the party here.” 

Kurt is not amused.  “I am not getting drunk for your entertainment.” 

Santana claps her hands together.  “Well, then you better win the game. The game is ‘Never Have I Ever’ and it’s first to ten…”  

“Ten?!”

“Yes, ten.  If you’re going to do something, do it right! First to ten loses.  And you better keep it dirty, Hummel, because that’s how I like it.”  Santana wiggles her eyebrows.  

“You’re certifiable.  Also, I’m starting.” 

“Of course, ladies always go first.”  

Kurt picks up the shot, giving it a smell and nearly chokes on fumes alone.  Thank god he’s at home.  “Fine.  Never have I ever… slept with a woman.” 

“Ooh, starting easy, I see your game,” Santana says, throwing back the shot.  “My turn,” she sings as she pours herself another one. “Never have I ever sucked a dick I actually liked.” 

Kurt rolls his eyes as he throws back the shot.  It’s been a while, and the alcohol stings a bit as it goes down.  But he can do this.  No way is he going to give Santana the satisfaction.  “Alright… never have I ever had a threesome.”  

“You know, you really should,” Santana knocks back the shot.  “There’s nothing like getting yourself off to the sight of your partner being thoroughly serviced.  Remind me to find you and Blaine the no-strings-attached hunk of your dreams to play around with for your anniversary next year.” 

“Oh god…” 

She snaps her fingers.  “Okay, okay… never have I ever done it outside.”  

Kurt grins, shaking his head.   

“What??  Seriously, you’ve never even tried?” Santana’s aghast.  

“Have you been outside?” Kurt argues.  “I have no intention of getting literally dirty while having sex.”  

“You are seriously the most boring human ever,” Santana groans.  

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to take a shot if it applies to you?  Or are you going to claim you’ve never done anything outside even though you complained for weeks about doing it on the beach and getting sand up your butt.” 

“Oh, fuck, right,” Santana takes a third shot.  “I’ve got to be more astute in my questions.”  She points a finger at him, eyeing him carefully.  

Kurt’s grin grows wider.  “Are you feeling it yet?”  

“No,” Santana shoots back, a little too quickly.  “But I am starving - we should have snacks.”  She gets up to begin going through his pantry.  “Fat free crackers? Low-sodium popcorn?  You guys know that you’re in your twenties and not eighty, right?  Oh, good, Cheetos.  I’m guessing these are Blaine’s because he’s the one who knows how to have a good time.”  

Kurt makes a grimace as Santana sits back down, shoveling the Cheetos into her mouth, orange, dusty crumbs getting everywhere.  She offers him some of the bag but he declines, not sure that he’ll ever be able to look at Cheetos the same way again.  He watches her for a moment as a question dawns on him.  “Never have I ever eaten anything off my partner.”

“Anything?” Santana challenges. 

He catches himself.  “Spread chocolate syrup on myself and let my partner lick it up.”  

“I should make you take a drink for that.  What did Blaine eat off you? Whipped cream? Actual syrup?  Ranch dressing?” She begins to laugh at her own suggestions.  “Oh, wait, no, Blaine spread chocolate syrup on himself and you licked it up?  He poured it on his dick, didn’t he?” 

“Just take the shot, Santana,” Kurt nudges her the shot glass.  “And no - Blaine’s dick tastes like candy without the help of chocolate.” 

“You are the worst,” Santana says as she drinks.  “How am I already losing this badly? Okay, okay…” She eats more of the Cheetos as she thinks.  Then her eyes grow wide as an idea comes to her.  “Never have I ever… done it in the same room as my friends without them knowing.”  

Kurt eyes her sharply.  He probably shouldn’t admit to it, but as boring as his sex life actually is to someone like Santana, it’s nice to tease that he isn’t completely an innocent.  He takes the shot and toys with it a little, leaving her in suspense before throwing it back.  

“What?!” Santana’s voice is loud and shrill; the four shots she’s had are definitely kicking in.  “When?  Was I there?? Was this in the loft??” 

Kurt chuckles.  “Yes and nope.”  

“Fuck, really?”

“Yeah,” he replies, offering nothing else.  “Are you going to say that you haven’t?” “If we did it in the same room, you’d totally know it,” Santana shoots back.  “Britt and I are hot when we fuck.”

“Exobitionist.” 

“Prude.  It’s your turn..” 

“Okay, uh… never have I ever made a sex tape.” 

Santana slaps her hand loudly on the table as she takes the shot. “You just can’t stop going for the low hanging fruit, can you? Have a little imagination.  Never have I ever moved the mirror so I could watch myself being fucked.” 

Kurt grumbles taking the shot..  He’s beginning to feel it, though, and can’t quite stop himself from thinking out loud. “Have you seen Blaine’s ass though?  I always just want a view of that ass, so why not look at it in the mirror?”   Did he really just say that out loud?  Santana lets out a cackle.  “What, like you don’t have a mirror near your bed?” 

“Oh, honey, we do it to our sex tape.  C’mon.”  

The room feels warm, and that light, buzzy feeling is taking him quicker than he thought.  Usually he holds his liquor better.  At least he had a big dinner, so most of it won’t come back up in a few hours.   What are they at - five to three? Hopefully, they can wrap this up before Blaine gets home… 

Santana stares him down, just waiting for his next statement, but admittedly, it’s getting harder to think of things.  “Never have I ever done it in an airplane,” he says.  

“Oh, I wish,” Santana cries out.  She’s now loud enough that her voice carries throughout the apartment.  “We tried, Hummel.  We so tried.  But then the bathroom smelled like vomit and some old guy kept wanting to get in and then the airplane hit turbulence.  We haven’t tried since.  Oh, which reminds me, speaking of methods of transportation -- Have I never…wait, I have never… wait, fuck…” She waves her arms in the air as she tries to make it come to her.

“Never have I ever…” he helps her, tightening up his lips, trying not to giggle at her drunkenness.  

“Yes,” she points a finger at him, her eyes wide with delight. “Never have I ever been groped in the back of a Prius in the middle of the afternoon in a church parking lot.”

No longer being able to contain it, he bursts out laughing.  It’s so oddly specific.  And so oddly true.  He has no regrets, and takes the shot.  “Fair.  Okay, so never have I spent a month on the island of Lesbos hoping to have some kind of female orgy and been disappointed when I found mostly tourists looking at old, Greek architecture.”  

“Oh my god, I forgot about that trip.”  Santana doubles over in laughter, making a mess as she takes her shot and pours another one.  Normally, Kurt would be annoyed but he just throws a napkin at her, making them both laugh more.  

“You are so drunk,” he tells her.  

“And you’re getting there!” she pounds on the table. Her voice is now louder than normal, and quicker as she excitedly spits out the next one. “Okay, let’s get this going -- never have I sucked a dick twice my age.” 

Kurt rolls his eyes at her - they’re never going to let him live down Walter.  Shot.  “Never have I done it for money.” He finds that his voice is growing louder, too.  He can’t help it.  

She scrunches her nose at him.  “Hey, don’t judge, she was a fucking fine rich woman - how do you think we got around Lesbos?” She yells out.  Shot.  “Never have I had a sex dream that involved my spouse’s brother!” 

Shit - when did he tell her that? Shot.  “Never have I ever sent a full nude to my entire contact list.” He shoots back quickly - and loudly.  

She takes the shot.  “At least it was a good angle!”

“If you say so!”   

“Never have I ever worn a cockring and hated it!!” 

Shot. 

“Never have I ever worn a strap on and loved it!!!” 

Shot.  

“NEVER HAVE I EVER BEEN SO INTO MY HUSBAND’S SUPERHERO-SLASH-BIRD FETISH THAT I REGULARLY MAKE HIM WEAR THAT CHEESY, HOMEMADE RIDICULOUS OUTFIT SO THAT I CAN GET OFF TO IT ANY CHANCE I GET.” 

Kurt loses it.  Just loses it, laughing so hard that he begins to cry.  “Nightbird!” he quips, burying his head in his hands.  “You don’t get it, Santana…” his voice is high and slurred and broken up with laughter.  “He’s such a dapper Nightbird.  And I am the endangered citizen he has to rescue from the Evil Dr. Skunkrat - it was originally Mr. Meerkat but I made it skunkier.” 

“Wha…?” Santana’s laughing so hard she can hardly breathe.  “Do you mean skankier?” 

“Nooooo!” Kurt squeals.  “Skunkier!” He takes the shot.  “And after I’m rescued I thank him by playing with his gorgeous ass and sucking his delicious vanilla and caramel tasting cock!” 

“Oh my god it’s caramel sauce not chocolate…” Santana throws herself back laughing so hard that she tumbles out of her chair.  

Sober, he may have been more ashamed to say all of that out loud, but he’s so gone that he really doesn’t care.  It’s not like Santana couldn’t have guessed anyway.  Instead, he manages to get himself to the ground, and crawl around to Santana’s side to make sure she’s okay.  She’s sitting and fine, wiping the tears from her eyes as she scoots towards the kitchen cupboards to lean against them.  Oh god, what a night this is turning out to be.  He comes to sit next to her, the both of them holding each other close as they laugh together.  It does feel good to be this loose every once in a while.  

Santana lets out a heavy sigh, placing her head against his.  “Thank you for that,” she says.  “No really, this is probably the best night I’ve had in a long while.  And now I know how to blackmail you if I never need to.”  

“Don’t make me regret my life choices in the morning,” he jokes.  

“Honestly, Hummel…” her voice grows unusually low and sincere.  “Never have I ever barged in on a friend's boring-ass evening because secretly I’m not a huge fan of being on my own.”  

He gives her a smile, a bit of warmth spreading in his chest.  It’s nice to know that deep down - she does care. “Well,” he offers. “Never have I ever indulged in a drinking game with a close friend because, honestly, I do like talking about sex.”  

“Pervert.” 

“Sentimentalist.” 

“I think this calls for one final shot!” she says.  After a moment of struggling, she manages to get up on her knees to reach the bottle and shot glasses, pouring a final shot for each of them.  Settling next to him again on the floor, they make a toast and knock back the shot together.  

“You know, Santana, that shot makes it ten to nine,” Kurt says, not able to contain a tinge of smugness.  “I win.”  

“Fuck you, Hummel.” 

[girlkisser13]

kurt hummel masterlist

* indicates smut

headcanons

dating kurt hummel would include

nsfw headcanons *

imagines

drabbles

[backslashdelta]

Blaine-friendly Kurtbastian Fic Recs

Putting a list together for @fallevs, but I hope this will be useful for anyone who wants to dip their toes into Kurtbastian fanfiction but doesn't want to read anything anti-Blaine! Everything included in this list will either not include Blaine at all, or if he is in the fic, it will be neutral or friendly toward him.

I've tried to include a wide range of words counts as well, so that you can start with something short and sweet or dive into something big, whatever you feel like. If anyone else has some recommendations to add, please feel free to reblog this list and add more!

Europe Is Our Playground by @glitterdammerung - 53,430 words

Summary: Eight years and half the world away from home, a chance encounter in a Paris club leads Kurt and Sebastian - each running from the ghosts of their pasts - into the diversion of chasing each other across Europe.

(Let's give them) Something to talk about by MemeKonGlee - 20,529 words

Summary: “I need you to—” “I heard you the first time,” Kurt interrupts, putting his fork and knife down on his plate and pushing his half-finished pancakes aside. “What I meant was: what the hell?” He points towards the neglected pancakes, trying to stall in the face of Kurt’s reaction. “Are you sure you don’t wanna finish that first?” The look in Kurt's eyes tells him in no uncertain terms that no, he doesn't want to finish his pancakes, Jesus. And so Sebastian has no option but to take a deep breath in, exhale slowly through his mouth and just… get on with it, internally cringing at how unbelievably ridiculous it all sounds when he puts it in words, all out there for the world (and more importantly, Kurt fucking Hummel) to judge. It all boils down to: I fucked up and I'm too proud to deal with it the mature way.

Safe Mode by flipmeforward - 18,118 words

Summary: An AU in which Kurt and Sebastian never met in high school. Instead, they meet at &brave--an up-and-coming online fashion company where Kurt is the new assistant slash blogger (one day he will figure out a better title), and Sebastian is the less than pleasant tech support guy. Kurt does his best to avoid Sebastian and his rude attitude at all possible costs, but it turns out that technology is not his friend. It also turns out that Sebastian might maybe possibly be (okay, probably is) more than just an annoying coworker.

Come On And Mess Me Up by @pouralittlewater - 215,339 words

Summary: “It’s like...When Harry Met Sally,” Santana told him. “No. That was me and Blaine.” “How? You literally got together in months. You and Sebastian have been skirting the issue for years. This whole “will they, won’t they” thing is getting old.” Or, when Sebastian enrolls in McKinley High and joins Glee right before the duet competition. What Kurt thinks could be the start to a great friendship in gay camaraderie quickly explodes in his face as he realizes being around Sebastian makes him want to set the other boy on fire. However, over time, that feeling dissipates. Even without the title of friendship, the two become ingrained in each other's lives in a way neither ever expected to.

Thunderbolts & Lightning by @alphabees-writes - 1,854 words

Summary: Sebastian has a plan. It goes wrong, and then right, and then wrong again.

tension bars by @cryscendo - 824 words

Summary: Prompt by backslashdelta: kurt, sports!au (gymnastics), exes, “sometimes, i sit in bed and wonder what would happen if things were different.”

I Want The World To See You'll Be With Me by @backslashdelta (me!) - 2,405 words

Summary: Kurt and Sebastian attend a Christmas party, and Sebastian has a special surprise for Kurt afterward.

Dessert by @nalasan - 1,175 words

Summary: “Oh my God,” Sebastian says, staring at the plate in front of him. “We have to break up.” Kurt, who has just walked into their living room and is still in his winter coat, raises his eyebrow quizzically; his expression more bemused than worried, “And why is that?” “Just look at that,” Sebastian replies, gesturing at the table in front of him like he is seeing it for the first time: the white tablecloth, the candles in their silver candleholders, the white roses in their vase in the middle of the table, and the dinner Sebastian has been preparing since he came home three hours ago.

And Why Is That? by @20xbetterthanu - 41,321 words

Summary: "I love you, and I hate myself for that." "And why is that?" Love hurts.

Note from me: this fic is definitely not anti-Blaine, however it does heavily involve Blaine and he is Not having a good time, so I maybe wouldn't recommend it if you want to avoid him (and the other boys!) being sad.

A Change In The Weather by cacophonylights - 209,414 words

Summary: The summer before college Kurt is shocked when Sebastian comes to him with a timely offer he can’t refuse.  He’ll get something he needs to realize his dreams, but in return he has to play the role of Sebastian’s boyfriend for the summer.  Neither of them know just how much their worlds are about to change. For a GKM prompt.

Note from me: this fic COULD be considered anti-Blaine, but I don't personally consider it to be; it maybe doesn't paint him in the most positive light, but I think it's still neutral enough to be on this list, and it's essentially required reading at this point! Also, it is famously unfinished, but there are a couple fan sequels: ACITW AU by @lady-divine-writes A Drop In The Ocean by @daftydraw and jwmelmoth The ACITW link above is for livejournal, but you can also find the original fic on AO3 in two parts here and here.

[angelhummel]

there were too many awful suggestions to include them all but it's done!!! terrible job everyone <3

[jamesbutnotreally]

glee textposts pt.5

[mdverse]

sth sth tbosas au sebklaine art i promised @backslashdelta months ago and then forgot about but it's also based on this fanart

[cryscendo]

Hello Crys! 💫

How about: klaine + things you said when you thought i was asleep?

thank you so much for the request! both you and @bitbybitwrites sent me the same prompt so here it is for both of you <3

i went with something canon compliant and a bit angsty for this prompt. it discusses blaine’s thought regarding his relationship with kurt during the second half of season 5. i hope you like it !

Pairing: Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson

Rating: G

Word Count: 841

Prompt: 12 - things you said when you thought i was asleep

if you would like to send me a prompt, you can do so here!

fic can be read below the cut <3

Kurt got home late a lot these days.

He knew that Blaine had a hard time with it. He moved to New York largely to be closer to Kurt and now Kurt was too busy to really devote much time to him.

It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Kurt just had a heavy course load this semester, and paired with his Vogue internship and diner job, he hardly had a moment to himself, much less a moment to focus on Blaine. Many evenings were spent with Kurt coming home, deciding something simple for the two of them to eat, showering, and then passing out the moment his head hit the pillow.

Blaine tried to never complain about it, but Kurt could tell it bothered him.

Tonight was especially a let-down. Kurt came home from work and had discovered that their roommates would be out for the evening. Like, all their roommates. And normally, this was a fantastic thing seeing as they hardly found time to spend together with just the two of them. But just as luck would have it, Kurt was too exhausted to be able to take advantage of their personal time in any meaningful way.

“I’m sorry, Blaine, but I haven’t really had a moment to breathe in about twelve hours,” he explained apologetically, “I really just need some sleep.”

“Oh, yeah! Of course! I get it, yeah, get some rest, honey,” Blaine replied encouragingly, offering Kurt a chaste kiss of the cheek. He was trying to not let his disappointment show, and Kurt could appreciate that.

It wasn’t until that evening that Kurt really got to see the other end of Blaine’s thoughts.

He didn’t mean to listen in, not really. He really was prepared to pass out and be dead to the world until his alarm clock devastatingly went off the next morning.

But somewhere in between the haze between wakefulness and sleep, Blaine started to speak. Not to Kurt, or rather, not in a way that Kurt was ever supposed to hear it. He sat up in bed and sighed — Kurt felt the bed jostle even despite Blaine’s efforts to not disturb him.

“Sometimes I feel like you don’t really want me around,” Blaine muttered into the darkness, and yeah, Kurt was definitely not supposed to be hearing this. A warm hand ran through his hair gently, carding through in soft strokes. “Ever since I moved to New York, I dunno, I just feel like our relationship is… different somehow.”

Kurt should’ve done something. He should’ve alerted Blaine that he was awake, because these thoughts that Blaine was sharing were something personal and private.

Against his remarkably better judgment, Kurt didn’t move.

“I think a lot of it is probably my fault,” he confessed to who he believed to be no one. “I know you say that you forgive me, and I do believe you. But I feel like some part of you still holds it against me. Not that I blame you.” Kurt heard Blaine sniffle and wondered if he was crying. Then, the hand in his hair moved as Blaine grazed his thumb along Kurt’s cheek. It was a sweet, loving gesture, but it took a bit for Kurt to not react to it in a way that would reveal he was not actually asleep.

“I should probably tell you all these things when you’re actually awake, huh? I’m just scared, I guess. I don’t know if it’s obvious yet, but I’m not really that great at this whole relationship thing. I feel like when we first met, I always knew exactly what you needed. Now, I’m not so sure.” Blaine took a breath and finally pulled his hand away.

“I think… I think I just need you to need me,” Blaine eventually admitted, and even the way Blaine spoke felt weighted. “It’s selfish as hell, I know, but I liked feeling like you needed me. You were so scared and alone and needed someone to protect you and I loved being that person for you. But now you don’t, and… and I’m still trying to figure out how to be okay with that.”

Blaine’s voice broke and Kurt felt his chest constrict at the sound. “I love the man you are, but I can’t help but miss the boy you were. You’d probably be pissed if you heard me say that.” Blaine let out a soft laugh, but it was devoid of any real humor. “It’s so much easier to say these things when you’re asleep.”

After that, Blaine fell into silence. It felt like ages, but he eventually resettled into bed, pressing a kiss to Kurt’s temple before finally cuddling up next to him. Blaine was warm, but Kurt couldn’t help a chill that sat deep in his bones from everything he just heard — every word Blaine wanted to say to him but couldn’t find the strength to say it. With his arm wrapped protectively around Kurt’s waist, he murmured one final thing before drifting off to sleep.

“G’night, Kurt. I love you.”

[datshitrandom]

Favorite Fanfics (109/?): Leaps and Dives by @annepi-blog | illustrated by @esilher

[mynonah]

For Falling For You by bitbybit (puttingittogether), @bitbybitwrites ' lovely universe <3

[bitbybitwrites]

It's been awhile again since I've done any of these - lately computer issues have kept me from writing, but here's a few snippets ( one Klaine and one FirstPrince WIP) that I was working on before my computer decided to be a pain in my ass.

Thanks to the following people for tagging me for WIP Wednesday and Six/Seven/Several Sentence Sunday in the past few weeks ( if I forgot anyone in this list below I'm sorry!):

@taste-thewaste @thighzp @porcelainmortal @getmehighonmagic @littlemisskittentoes

@thesleepyskipper @alasse9 @stratocumulusperlucidus @softboynick @sophie1973

@sheepywritesfics @onthewaytosomewhere

Snippets are under the cut.

***

1.) From If I Can Make Your Heart My Home ( Klaine fic) cc @datshitrandom

“But you never came by when I was awake.”

“I . . I was too afraid to hear what you’d say if you saw me.”

The blood began to pulse in Blaine’s ears.  “What did you think I would have said?”

Kurt sighed.  Now he was the one averting his eyes.

“That you never wanted to see me again.  That you hated me. . .” he murmured.  “I . . I hurt you, Blaine.  I can’t change how badly I fucked up.  I know I did.  I know I did big time.  And . . it was . . it was horrible of me to do everything that I did. Because you are right.  You deserved so much better than that.”

Kurt stood up and began to pace nervously.  “Look.  I was afraid. Hell, I still am a bit.  Afraid that maybe Sebastian was right.”

Blaine sat up straighter at the mention of the younger Smythe’s name. “’What?  What did Sebastian say to you?”

 Kurt flinched at the sharpness in Blaine’s tone.  “He . . he said . .” Kurt wrapped his arms around himself, sinking back into the other end of the couch.  “Sebastian said that . . I was nothing but a novelty to you. A joke . . basically some sort of low brow entertainment for you on the side.  I wasn’t anything that was worth your time. And there was no way I could be able to keep up with your . . lifestyle . . .”

Blaine paled.  “Kurt . . I would never . . you. . .you don’t really believe I felt that way . . .”

Kurt let out a wet laugh.  He shrugged his shoulders.  “No . . but . . Blaine, come on.  What could I possibly give to you?  I can’t take you to fancy restaurants or trips out to the Hamptons. I don’t own a penthouse or a limo.  I don’t even own a restaurant.  I’m just this  . .  this nobody from a rural town in Ohio. . . You’re . .”

“Don’t.  Don’t say it.”

“You’re an Anderson, Blaine.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I might have to disagree.” Blaine muttered

Kurt shook his head, his expression sofenting.  “Look, if you take your father out of the picture, the Andersons are pretty amazing.  They are caring and selfless. They are philanthropic and so loving and open-hearted.  You. . . your brother. . . your grandmother.  You’re all the same.  And it's wonderful.”

*****

2.) From Puppy Love (FirstPrince fic) - cc @omgbarbiegurl

“Now do you have all of your stuff?  Remember you’re at Tia Nora’s tonight.”

Raf nodded.  “I packed everything.  Even a ball so I can play with Tia Nora’s next door neighbor.”

“That’s nice.” Alex said as he hustled around his apartment, shutting off lights.

“He’s adopted and he’s really nice. Sometimes he’s allowed to come over and play with me if I stay over.”

“You finish your homework first, right?” Alex asked

Raf sighed and rolled his eyes.  “Yes.  Tia Nora won’t let me do ANYTHING until I finish my homework first.”

“That’s good.  Glad you made a friend over at Nora’s.”

“Papi?”

Alex  hummed as he started flicking through his phone , partly to see if there were any new work messages from Liam or June, partially to see if Henry had texted him. “Yeah, mijo?”

“Are you sure we can’t have a dog?”

“Raf . .”

“I’d take care of it really well, I promise . .  .” the little boy pleaded.

Alex knelt down as he could be more at eye level.  “Hey, I know you want one.  But it wouldn’t be fair to a puppy to be left alone so much - with my work schedule and then you not even being home at at Tia Nora’s place.”

“But we could bring it there.”

“Tia Nora is doing me a HUGE favor by watching you when she can.  It wouldn’t be fair if I gave her 2 kids to look after - a human one  AND a furry one.”

Raf pouted, crossing his arms.  “I don’t think she’d mind.”

Alex pulled his son into a tight hug.  “Once everything kind of slows down and we can get things settled so we’re home more, we’ll look into it.  Until then, you always can come with me to the rescue and help out playing with the animals who don’t have homes yet.  They get pretty lonely there sometimes.”

A small dramatic sigh erupted from the small frame in Alex’s arms.   He had to bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. 

“OK . . but can I do it soon?” Raf asked.

“I’ll check the schedule with Tia June and we’ll see what we can do.”

“¿Prometes? (You promise)” Raf asked as he held out his pinky to his dad eagerly.

“Si.  Lo prometo, mijo.(Yes, I promise, son.)” Alex said with a smile.

****

And for anyone who may want to play . . a BIG OPEN TAG . . but also:

@myheartalivewrites, @gleefulpoppet @wowbright @14carrotghoul @iboatedhere

@itsmaybitheway @little-escapist @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @sarkyblueeyes @tailsbeth-writes

@rmd-writes @cha-melodius @madas-ahatters-world @kirakiwiwrites @shegoestoeleven

[spaceorphan18]

5 Times Kurt Talks About Sex and 1 Time He Doesn't (Part One)

A/N: So, this was inspired the other day by a Nonny who was asking about how Kurt interacts with others on the topic of sex and this little idea popped in my head.

It's a little mini-series, and I'll post one part a day, then I'll get it up on Ao3 after it's complete.

It's set in a post-canon-ish world when they're all living in New York. The whole thing takes place over the course of a day.

****

Conversation One: Tina

There’s a banging on the door.  Kurt hasn’t even had a sip of his morning coffee yet, and reluctantly regrets even getting up in the morning as he makes his way through the kitchen to the living room.  The pounding intensifies.  Good, god, what is so important this early in the morning? 

He opens the door, and in stumbles Tina.  “Blaine!” she calls, without even a hello.  “Blainey!! Blaine, get out here, I need to talk to you.” She pushes past Kurt, in a frenzy, and goes straight for the bedrooms, as if it’s normal for someone not even invited in to do so.  

“He’s at rehearsal,” Kurt grumbles.  He shuts the door and heads back to the kitchen, not even bothering to stop Tina as she races around the apartment in search of Blaine.  

“It’s Saturday,” Tina cries, as if that’s some sort of argument against Blaine being gone.  The apartment is small enough that it takes less than a minute for Tina to confirm that Kurt is, indeed, alone.  

“People still have to rehearse on Saturdays.”  He pours himself a mug of coffee, taking in the deep, rich smell of it as he waits for Tina to inevitably join him.  

She’s grumpy as she enters the kitchen.  “Well, that would explain why he’s not answering his phone.” 

He stares at her blankly.  “What do you want, Tina?” 

It’s then that she stops in her tracks, as if she’s suddenly aware that Kurt’s really the only one there to talk to.  She’s unusually hesitant before she speaks again.  “You know what - it’s fine.  I’ll just see him later.” 

Kurt raises an eyebrow at her. “What did you need?” 

“Really, it was nothing.” 

“Tina…” 

“I should have waited for his text,” Tina insists.  “Totally not an emergency.  You don’t even need to mention that I was here.” 

“You’ve already crashed my morning,” Kurt says, waving his mug around.  Sure, it’s annoying to be interrupted during your morning routine - but at least whatever Tina’s backing away from is probably better than anything on TV at the moment. “You might as well just tell me.”

“Well…” she’s hesitant again as she slides into one of his kitchen chairs.  “It’s just that you and I, uh, don’t really talk about this stuff.”  

Okay, so now his attention is piqued.  “What stuff?” 

“You know…”  her voice grows soft.  “About sex stuff.”  

She’s not wrong.  Tina will gossip about other people’s sex lives until the cows come home, but she’s rather tight-lipped about her own. 

“Try me.” 

“I should really wait and just talk to Blaine.” 

“Do you really think Blaine won’t tell me eventually anyway?” 

Kurt’s not sure what is more bitter - his coffee or the expression on Tina’s face.  

“Fine, Kurt Hummel.” She takes a deep breath, composing herself. “So, you know how Artie and I are beginning to see each other again?  Well, it’s been going great.  Or at least I thought it had been going great.  Until yesterday… So, I was going down on him.  And, I mean, it’s not my favorite thing.  Do all men have that weird smell down there? Or do I need to get Artie some kind of genitalia perfume for Christmas? And I mean, I can’t do it for very long because my mouth dries out but anyway…ever since I’ve known  him he’s gone on and on about how much he just loves blowjobs.  I swear, I have heard about every single woman who has thought it wise to give him one.  And, god, he especially wouldn’t shut up about Brittany -- who apparently gives the most magical blowjobs.  Sam used to go on and on about Brittany, too, now that I think of it.  Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, god, don’t tell me you agree with Brittany’s mind blowing oral skills.” 

Kurt throws up a little in his mouth.  “Do you really think I’d let that woman near my dick?” 

Tina waves off the comment, continuing on with her rant.  “Anyway… it takes him forever to come and he just seems barely into it.  And I am trying all of my best moves.  I am not bad at blowjobs.  At least, Mike never complained.  And remember that one guy I dated a few years ago? Greg? He said I was the best he’s ever had.  I may have been the only one, but that’s not the point.  The point is I wanted to talk to Blaine so he could give me tips on how to give a better blowjob.” 

“Wait, is this really what you and Blaine talk about when I’m not around?” 

“This is serious, Kurt!” 

Kurt smirks into his coffee as he thinks it over.  “I mean, if you want to talk about someone who gives magical blowjobs…”

Tina lets out a frustrated grunt.  “Look, it’s not even because of this one time, either.  I tried to wake him up this morning with a little surprise and he just kind of shoved me away.  It was hu-mil-i-ating.  My best friend and would-be boyfriend doesn’t like my mouth on him.  Maybe this was just the worst idea I’ve ever had and we should have never gotten back together.   I just need to accept the fact that I’m going to die alone.” 

Wow.  That escalated quickly.  It’s Tina, though, he’s not really surprised. 

“Okay, Tina.” Kurt sets his coffee mug down and folds his arms across his chest.  “Let me get this straight.  Did you at any point ask Artie about his weird reactions?” 

She sits there silently for a moment.  “Well, no…” 

“So, to recap your morning - you had a bad sexual experience.  And instead of talking to your boyfriend about it, you came to the conclusion that you’re terrible at sex, that you’re going to die alone, and then rushed over here to ask my husband how to properly suck a guy off?” 

“You know, this is why I don’t come to you about these things,” Tina scoffs.  “You don’t have to be judgy about it.” 

Kurt refrains from rolling his eyes at her.  “I’m not-- whatever… Tina, Artie’s an idiot.  You know you have to hit Artie over the head with a brick in order to get his attention.  I think it’s a different set of oral skills that may be more beneficial to your relationship.” Kurt chuckles at his own joke.  “If you want, though, you could just say you’ll be refraining from using your mouth on any part of him until he can use his mouth to give you an orgasm. I mean, if you’re not having fun - why would he be?  And, god, do not buy him some weird genitalia perfume - I’d be happy to recommend a decent manscaping kit instead.  Also, for the record, dying alone isn’t the worst thing in the world - at least you’d have peace and quiet. And god knows I wish I had more of that in my life.  But I mean, please feel free to still talk to Blaine.  He does know how to do this thing with his tongue that gets me there faster than when we were teenagers.  Absolutely magical.”   

For the first time since he’s known her, Tina sits in a complete silence, utterly at a loss at how to respond. 

Kurt picks up his mug and grins as he sips. 

[exquisitetragicthing]

Ancient Rome AU, 73 BC.

Blaine and Kurt are enslaved in the same grand villa in Capua, 125 miles south of Rome. Blaine is a renowned gladiator known for his unmatched skill in the arena. Kurt is their master’s treasured body slave and performer. In a time where their love could be as dangerous as the sword, they find themselves instantly and irrevocably drawn to each other.

Read Here

[scatter-the-stars]

How far would you go for someone you love? For Kurt, that means doing the unimaginable. But if it means saving his dad, he's willing to take that risk. A risk that has him leaving his home to go states away to spend a week with the last person he ever expected to meet. Over the course of the next seven days, things don't go as planned, or thought. Can seven days change everything? Seven

[justgleekout]

The au that is literally always on my mind: superhero!Kurt and citizen!Blaine

K: “Citizen, are you okay!?”

B: ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄w⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

[lusthurts]

so i discovered this headcanon generator on tiktok and im a big fan of the results (yes i’ve included my ocs, why wouldn’t i???)

[caramelcoffeeaddict]

A Season of New Developments [Klaine Fanfiction]

Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Isabelle Wright Chapters: 1/1 [Complete] Word Count: 10,618 Rating: Teen&Up Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Different First Meeting, Christmas Fluff, Neighbors!Klaine, Coworkers!Klaine, Photographer!Blaine, Vogue!Kurt, Stylist!Kurt Summary: Shortly after Kurt moves into a new apartment building and meets his hot new neighbor, Blaine, he hires Blaine to photograph a huge fashion spread that he's organizing for the January issue of Vogue. In the meantime, the two men spend their free time getting to know one another better. Author Notes: Written for the Klaine Secret Santa Gift Exchange as a gift for @jayne89 ❤️️ Merry Christmas, Kay! 🎄 Hope you enjoy your gift! 🎁 :) Original Post Date: December 2023

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