#less so that kevin couldn't live without him

[ninyard]

I Need to hear ur thoughts about the fact that in the aftg wiki kevin is listed as a pet in riko’s family is sick and even more when Nora confirmed that they could never been really friends because of the master/pet dynamic and how riko wouldn’t hesitate to put kevin at his place if he forgot his ( took this from the extras) Kevin you deserved sm better

Saying that Riko and Kevin were friends seems like a lie, but saying they weren't is worse. Riko and Kevin couldn't be friends because the master/pet mentality was something that Riko pierced Kevin over and over again, but they achieved an understanding and balance that they shouldn't have otherwise.

In short, Riko & Kevin were the end of each other's existence. It was what saved Kevin from most of Riko's cruelty, but Riko would have hurt Kevin tremendously if he thought Kevin forgot his place.

There's definitely a huge part of their dynamic that is just; Riko thinks he owns Kevin, and Kevin isn't strong enough to stop him. Riko thinks Kevin is his, his play thing, his property. But he's also smart enough to know that Kevin has the power to take him down if he wanted to. So he breaks Kevin down, destroys his confidence, makes him scared, and now Kevin will never want to step out of line. He'll never want to defy him, and he'll always come crawling back.

I think there might've been a small point in their childhood where they felt like friends, and when they were putting on an act for the tabloids, it might've felt real every once in a while, but Riko didn't respect Kevin enough for them to be friends. After everything they'd been through, they wouldn't have survived without each other for very long. They couldn't play head-to-head on separate pro teams, then together again on the National Court. They couldn't be one person without the other and continue on their lives as normal. Kevin would always feel his heart rate rise when Riko walked into a room, when he seen him on TV. Riko would always feel like Kevin was his. He'd always feel rage about articles comparing them to each other, he'd always want to kill Kevin for succeeding. Riko couldn't live with Kevin being better than him. He would've cracked eventually, regardless of the lives they were living.

[coff33andb00ks]

Rule Breaker - Pt 7

pairing:max Verstappen x single mom!reader x logan sargeant {masterlist}{prev} {next} warnings: cursing, minimally proofread Summary: you can start a family who will always show you love, you don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own word count: 4.7k auth.note: this was supposed to have smut in it but the smut gods have abandoned me spotify: i made a playlist

He was watching her.

She swallowed anxiously as she poured water from the kettle into the mugs. Of course he was watching her. He hadn't taken his eyes off her since she'd opened the apartment door. And of course she was making tea, because it was too late for coffee, and she also knew he hated coffee.

You're just a coworker.

Except he wasn't. He never had been, not since taking it upon himself to show her son cars at the factory. Not since he'd listened to her like no one had before. Not since…

He'd so seamlessly stepped into her and Kevin's lives, helping without being asked, and asking nothing in return.

Licking her lips as she watched the tea steep, she closed her eyes.

She could still taste him.

Gentle, tender, everything he never showed the world. As though she was precious and perfect. As though her lips were his place of worship. Her lips parted to gasp, surprised, and—

He shifted and her eyes snapped open. He was still there. In her kitchen, leaning against the counter just a few feet away. Her heart hammered in her chest as she picked up a mug after stirring in a little sugar and held it out to him.

"Y/n," he whispered.

"I'm not allowed to kiss you."

He'd said that weeks ago. Over a month ago. She sucked in a breath and finally turned to face him. "What changed?"

To his credit, he didn't play stupid. He took a sip of the tea and turned the mug in his hands. "Nothing changed."

"How can you say that?" Gripping her mug, she forced herself to take a sip.

"I'm sor—" Max cut himself off and pressed his lips together. "No, I'm not sorry. I've wanted to do that since… Since I met you."

Y/n took another sip of her tea. It wasn't sweet enough, but she couldn't bring herself to move to get some sugar. All she could do was stand there, holding her mug tightly and sip, staring at him, floored by the revelation that he'd wanted to kiss her for months. "You said you couldn't," she whispered.

"I still can't." His voice was strained, as though it hurt him to say it.

"Jesus christ," she groaned. "Max—"

"You're with Logan."

She froze, slowly raising her eyes to his. "Yeah," she whispered. "We're… Figuring it out as we go."

He winced slightly. "What's there to figure out?"

"God, Max." Why did he care? "Everything."

"Little mate worships him."

She shouldn’t say it. Don't say it don't say it don't say it don't— "He worships you, too."

Max shook his head. "He—"

"He called you Daddy. He's never even…" She reached up, angrily brushing the tears from her eyes before they could fall. "He's never cared about not having a father until recently. He asked months ago why he doesn't have one and I told him not everyone does and he was okay with that. Until…"

He stepped closer, taking her mug and setting it with his on the counter.

"I've fucked it all up," she gasped. "I've done the worst thing haven't I?"

"Y/n, no," he murmured.

"I'm supposed to protect him from heartache and pain. But I let him get close to you and you…" She couldn't finish the thought, much less the sentence. If there was one thing she was sure of in her messed up world it was that Max would never hurt Kevin. She wasn't stupid, she had put together the pieces and figured out that he'd been abused as a child, whether he saw it that way or not. But he had only ever treated her son with gentleness.

"I won't hurt him," Max whispered, and she sensed rather than saw the tremble in his fingers as he brushed her tears away. "I could never…"

"I know," she breathed.

"Don't…" His fingers lingered on her cheek, and the look in his eyes was almost desperate. "Don't lock me out, y/n."

"Have you met my son?" She sniffled. "He'd tear the door down for you."

He smiled sadly. "Would you let him?"

"Yeah," she said after a moment.

"You haven't fucked it all up," he murmured.

"I feel like I have." His fingers were still on her cheeks, even though for now there weren't any tears. But she didn't mind. They were warm and tender, almost lovingly caressing her. And she wondered what it said about her that in this moment she didn't care about anything or anyone else.

"Mama?"

Max's fingers stilled on her cheeks at the sound of Kevin's voice. Before either of them could move she heard the patter of Kevin's feet entering the kitchen.

"Mama, I—" Kevin gasped. "Mister Max?"

He pulled back and turned. "Hey, kleine maat… You alright?"

Kevin rubbed his eyes as he shuffled over. "Had a bad dream," he mumbled.

Y/n was half a second too late to scoop him up, and she looked on as Max lifted him up. Reaching over, she smoothed her son's curls. "You wanna talk about it, doodle bug?"

Kevin shook his head, settling comfortably against Max's shoulder. "'M'okay, mama," he promised.

Max shared a look with her over the top of Kevin's head. She could practically read his thoughts – he's alright – and nodded. He rubbed the boy's back in a soothing manner and she let herself enjoy the quiet warmth of the moment. Standing close as Max held her son, she listened to him gently murmur comforting words while she continued to smooth his hair, smiling fondly as she felt Kevin relax.

She felt a flicker of hesitation when Max offered to tuck him in, but didn't object. Leading him to the bedroom she shared with Kevin, she opened the bathroom door when he murmured he had to go, leaning in the doorway while Max set him down by the toilet.

No wonder Kevin looked to him as a father figure. He was so natural at it, so patient and kind.

Everything a father should be.

He carried him into the bedroom, squatting down next to the toddler bed to settle him and tuck him in. "Welterusten, kleine maat," he whispered.

Kevin blinked at him. "Is that goodnight?"

Max nodded. "Welterusten."

Y/n picked up her son's stuffed Snoopy and leaned to place it next to him while he practiced saying the word.

"Welterusten, Daddy. Goodnight, Mama," Kevin murmured, eyes already closing. "Love you."

"Goodnight, sweetie. Love you," she whispered, blinking back tears.

Max seemed frozen for a few seconds, but he finally straightened, dragging a hand over his face as he left the bedroom. She followed him out a moment later, pulling the door almost completely closed behind her. Pausing outside Ellie's door, she continued through the apartment to the kitchen when she heard no sign of her friend being awake.

He was leaning against the counter, his expression troubled.

"Max," she whispered.

"Where's his dad?"

Surprised by the question, she paused, rubbing her hands over her thighs before stepping over to pick up her tea. "I don't know."

"Does…" Max exhaled harshly. "Tell me it's none of my business."

How could she tell him that? "It's not, but… If Kevin's tearing the door down for you, you should know, I suppose."

"Does his dad know about him?"

"Only that he exists." She couldn't have this conversation standing. Motioning for him to follow her, she headed into the living room, sitting in the corner of the couch after he pushed away from the counter. "He wanted nothing to do with a baby."

Max made a face of discontent but said nothing as he sat next to her.

Holding her tea with both hands, she pulled her knees to her chest. "He wanted me to have an abortion. And I was going to… I was still on the outs with my mom, working two jobs to pay my bills, I couldn't afford a baby. But – and this is gonna sound so crazy and stupid."

"Tell me," he murmured.

Y/n sighed. "I had a dream about a baby and it—" her breath hitched. "—it felt so real and in the dream I felt whole, like some missing part of my soul had found its way back to me. I woke up craving that feeling, and well, I decided against the abortion."

Max was silent for a few seconds. When he spoke, she could see him fighting a smile. "You're right, that does sound crazy and stupid."

Groaning, she lowered her head. "I know. I know. But—"

"Making life decisions because of a dream is—"

"I know, Max, god you sound like my mom."

He paused, his smile fading. "I'm sorry. Go on."

"That was it. I chose to have the baby. Josh refused to have anything to do with me or him. I haven't seen him since I told him I wasn't having an abortion." She refused to go into how much that had hurt. How stupid she'd felt as the pregnancy progressed, things still strained with her mom, only Ellie to lean on for emotional support.

"He doesn't support him?"

"I refuse to ask him for anything. Kevin's better off without him in his life. Ellie's been more of a father than he ever could have." She finished her tea and set the mug aside. "He knows that he exists. I sent word through his sister, and I've had no contact with anyone in his family since. It's like they don't care. It hurt at first, but now I know it's better this way."

"I'm sorry, y/n."

She shook her head and tucked her chin on her knees. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

He sighed. And she felt him relax for the first time since he'd set foot in the apartment. The quiet stretched until it was almost uncomfortable, then he exhaled softly and reached for her hand.

"I don't mind him calling you daddy," she whispered as their fingers weaved together. It wasn't a conscious movement, and she felt as though her fingers already knew how to slot around his. Just as they did whenever her hand found Logan's.

Logan. God. How could she feel the same but different for two men?

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Maybe it's just a phase. Maybe he has some anxiety because all his new friends have dads."

"He…" Max cleared his throat and when she glanced at him she saw him staring at their hands. "He asked me in Montreal. Mentioned Laura."

Y/n smiled. First Kevin had been over the moon that a driver shared a name with him, then had fallen sort of in love with the older Kevin's daughter.

"He said you told him not everyone gets a mum and a dad. That he loves you."

She swallowed hard, nodding. If ever she was unsure of everything else in her life, she would always know her son loved her.

"Then he said—" Max sighed. "He asked if I thought Logan would be his dad. And you like mama."

She jerked her head up. "Did he ask you—"

"No. But I think he was going to."

What would you have said, how would you have answered him. And would you, Max? Would you be his dad? Would Logan? She closed her eyes, fighting the wave of questions she longed to ask, her feminist rage rising. He doesn't need a dad, damn it. He's perfectly fine without one. He's well rounded, intelligent, and empathetic. Having a 'dad' would ruin him—

"Y/n."

For fuck's sake. "Nothing changed," she reminded him. "You still can't."

"Doesn't mean I don't want to."

"I'm dating Logan."

"Is it serious?"

Yes. No. She didn't know. Logan didn't talk about that sort of thing. Still figuring it out. Still learning to show he cared. "Max, don't make me do this."

He squeezed her hand. "I'm not asking you to make a choice. I… We couldn't be open like you and Logan are."

It wasn't as though she and Logan were public. She was sure they'd been spotted together but it wasn't as though they were in each other's social media posts. "Because you'd get into trouble."

Groaning, he tossed his head back and stared at the ceiling. "You would lose your job."

Not him, though. Because he was the world champ. The dominant force to be reckoned with. Everyone on the Red Bull team would be fired before they let Max go. The realization annoyed her, even though she understood the reasoning. In the grand scheme of things she was nothing, a minor cog in the workings that could easily be replaced. But really what annoyed her the most was—

"I can't be the reason you lose your job, y/n."

Goddamn him and his nobleness. "Then… What are we even doing?" she sighed, moving to stand, trying to slip her hand free of his. But he held fast, pulling her back down.

"This," he whispered, raising his other hand to her cheek.

"But we—"

"Tell me no," he breathed as he dipped his head.

Her breath stuttered and she moved her hand to his neck, felt the muscles tense beneath her fingers. "Max…"

"I'll go. Just… Tell me you don't want this."

His forehead was against hers and his hand was sliding into her hair and she couldn't have told him no. Tilting her head, she let her lips brush over his, whining softly at the sensation. "I shouldn't," she whispered. And, god help her… "But I do."

He exhaled into the kiss, letting go of her hand and wrapping his arm around her. So gentle, so tender, she almost cried.

The last rational part of her brain screamed what about Logan and she pulled back slightly, eyes widening in panic. "We shouldn't."

He nodded. "I know," he murmured, pulling away.

"I want to," she blurted. "But…"

"Logan," he said flatly. "I thought you were figuring it out."

She ran a hand over her face, trying to ignore the tingling in her lips and the longing to slide back into his arms. "Would you want me to see him if I was figuring it out with you?"

He met her gaze and seemed to search her eyes for a long moment. "I would want you to do whatever it took to find happiness."

And she could tell that he meant it. She wished this was the Max that the world saw. The understanding, gentle Max that he rarely showed publicly. "Even if it was without you?"

His jaw twitched and he slowly drew in a breath. "Yes."

"I like him, Max. And I like you too."

Apparently, meeting on the track was now their thing. Max found he didn't mind so much this time, and decided he didn't want to investigate why. It wasn't as though he disliked Logan – in fact he liked him quite a bit. He just had let his own jealousy cloud his behavior. And now… Well, now things were different.

Logan fell into step with him and they chatted about the weather and y/n and Kevin and the burn was still there, eased a little by memories of silky lips and soft murmurs.

"How's your car looking?" Max asked, changing the subject as they walked along the track.

"I don't know, honestly. Do you ever just…" Logan sighed and shook his head, shoulders rounding. "Nevermind."

God. Max opened his mouth to tell him to go on, ask whatever it was that was on his mind – just get fucking on with it – but decided against it. Not everyone said what was on their mind. Not even him, some days, depending what was on his mind. He'd learned to bottle a lot of things, even if people thought he had no filter.

"I like him, Max. And I like you too."

How can you like us both?

He knew how. He just didn't know why. Why did she like him? He was the opposite of her precious American.

Logan cared. About everything. He cared too much. What people thought, whether he was doing well, how he carried himself. He was gentle and – damn it, caring – towards everyone, from a little boy with no father to people who didn't deserve a second thought.

Whereas he was… Gruff. An asshole on a bad day, a jerk on others. He did care, but he was selective. And he had learned at a young age that being gentle, being caring, led to being hurt and disappointment.

Gonna cry, boy?

"You have to stand up for yourself." The words came out of his mouth and hung in the air, too cold and brisk for the man walking next to him. "Sorry."

Logan drew in a breath. "Max—"

"Actually, no I'm not sorry." How many times had he said that in the past week? Twice. Which was twice too many. "It's true. You can't let them walk all over you. Because they'll do it until they find another pushover."

"They're not renewing my contract."

Well, fuck.

"They haven't said it. James is giving me the runaround every time I bring it up." Logan kept his eyes straight ahead and so did Max, not sure he wanted to see whatever emotions were showing. "But I know it's coming."

"He's such a spineless cunt," Max muttered.

Logan sputtered on a laugh. "Jesus," he chuckled nervously.

"He is." Max glanced at him. Swallowed down the little bit of bitterness. "You deserve a team that believes in you."

He nodded. "I know. But I don't have that."

"Don't give up hope," he said, the words surprising even him. "There are teams with vacant seats next year."

"I'm American. Hope's all I got," Logan said without enthusiasm.

Max chuckled softly. "Sometimes it's all you need."

As if he would know.

"I appreciate it, Max. Really."

"I can't give advice." He grimaced. "I suck at it. But I'm here if you need someone to talk to."

Even though he wasn't looking at him, he saw Logan's smile. "Thanks, mate."

Mate.

For once it didn't sound weird when Logan said it.

A win in Barcelona and, somehow, y/n found herself in the VIP section of a club with several drivers and a few girlfriends. No one seemed surprised or upset by her being there, and she laughed and drank a little, enjoying the downtime. Logan pulled her into a dance and she felt…

Happy.

Taking a break, she got another drink and found herself next to Max while he talked to Charles about someone she didn't know. A few moments later Charles was dragged away by his girlfriend and she was, relatively, alone with Max.

Max leaned close, speaking directly into her ear, loud enough to be heard above the music. "I can see why you like him!"

Her brow furrowed at his words. "You can?"

He nodded, leaning back to take a swig from his drink. "He's nice. Looks at you like you put the stars in the sky."

"Max," she murmured in surprise, her expression softening. She looked past him to where Logan was laughing with Lando and Oscar.

"See." Max chuckled next to her as Logan turned to look at her. "If he looked at me like that, I'd fall too."

A surprised laugh bubbled up. "Max! Are you drunk?"

He shook his head. "Not even close."

The coloured lights flashing around them pulsed faster and she watched him finish his drink. "Max–"

"He's in love with you." Max's face was serious.

She nodded, because suddenly she couldn't speak. If she did, she might tell him things she should never say. Nodding again, she looked down at her drink. Logan had all but said I love you to her. He'd said he loved being with her, loved hearing her voice, loved spending time with Kevin, but hadn't said he loved her.

"We have that in common," Max said, and she barely caught the words, his voice was so low.

Jerking her head up, she blinked. "What–"

"Hey babe."

A long arm snaked around her and she was pulled back against Logan's chest. Confused to see Max grinning, she wondered if he was drunk, because he usually looked annoyed whenever Logan was around. Well, not as much this past week as he had before, but…

Logan bent down, lips brushing her ear. "Having fun?"

She nodded, unconsciously stroking the arm around her as she sipped her drink. "It's a little noisy," she said loudly. "But fun."

He squeezed his arm around her. "Let me know when you're ready to go?"

She patted his arm and nodded again, smiling as he slipped away to go talk to Oscar.

Max tipped his head thoughtfully. "You're shit at lying."

"No I'm not?" She frowned at that. "I'm not lying."

"You're having fun?" he asked, arching his eyebrow.

She delayed answering by taking a sip of his drink.

He laughed, rolling his eyes. "You'd rather be at the hotel, wouldn't you?"

She made a face. "Yes. But—"

He grabbed her hand and tugged her along behind him, stopping to speak to Logan. They were right under a speaker so she couldn't hear what he said, but she saw Logan's concern as he nodded. Confused when he leaned to press a kiss to her cheek, she opened her mouth to say she was fine, but no one seemed to hear her above the thudding music. Logan didn't seem bothered by Max holding her hand and she remembered that she'd talked to him about it, that he was weirdly okay with her exploring her options as he'd put it—

Logan's lips moved to her ear. "I'll see you later, babe."

"Max what are you doing?" she asked a few moments later when he guided her out a side door of the club. Despite the heat outside it felt cooler than the club and she breathed in a lungful of fresh air.

"Taking you to the hotel," he answered simply.

She blinked as a car turned down the side street – alley? she wasn't sure what to call it – and stopped in front of them. Turning to him, she pinched her brows together. "You're supposed to be celebrating your win."

Max shrugged. "I can celebrate anytime."

With that, he opened the back door of the car and motioned for her to climb in. And she couldn't argue. Well, she could but it would be pointless. Arguing with Max was much like arguing with Kevin. It would lead nowhere except to a headache, she was sure. Settling in the backseat, she opened her handbag to get her phone, checking to make sure Ellie hadn't messaged her with an emergency.

"Je bent mooi," Max murmured once the car was in motion.

She could barely see him but she looked at him anyway, watching the passing lights flicker across his face. "Thank you," she whispered, remembering what the words meant.

You're beautiful. Not you look beautiful, that dress looks great on you. You're beautiful. She wondered if he understood the difference and thought that he might when his hand found hers.

It had been just over a week and it was still so new, so unexpected, the secret looks and touches. The stolen kiss that morning, the quick hug in the post-race confusion. All weekend she'd kept waiting for someone to notice, to say something, but no one had.

"When's your birthday?" she asked suddenly.

"End of September… Why?"

His thumb was tracing the back of her hand, making it hard to concentrate on her thoughts. "That's… Right after Singapore right?"

Max hummed. "Yeah I think a week after?"

"Well what are you doing to celebrate?" she asked, shifting so she was facing towards him.

He chuckled, and in the flickering lights she saw him shaking his head. "I don't celebrate birthdays."

"Max…"

"Y/n…" he mocked.

"You have to celebrate," she sighed.

"Uh, no, I don't have to."

"Didn't you love birthday parties as a kid?" she asked as the car stopped. Glancing out, she realized they were parked behind the hotel. She kept forgetting that Max could do things like that.

He thanked the driver and climbed out, turning back to help her out. "I didn't celebrate them much as a kid," he finally said.

"Oh," she said softly.

Max groaned, guiding her through the door, nodding to the hotel security. "Don't."

"I didn't—"

"You're not throwing me a birthday party," he insisted with a shudder.

"But—"

"It's just another day."

She scrunched up her face as he guided her onto the elevator. "If you'd let me speak—"

"No, because if I do it'll end with me wearing a stupid pointy hat and you blowing confetti in my face," he muttered.

Y/n huffed. "I wouldn't blow confetti."

He turned to look at her.

"I wouldn't!" she insisted. "I'd blow noisemakers—"

"No."

"You really don't want to celebrate? Cake? Friends? A few presents?"

"I don't like cake, if I want to see friends I do, and if I want anything I buy it." He tipped his head. "I don't need a party for any of that."

"It doesn't have to be a party," she persisted as the elevator stopped.

"I appreciate what you're trying to do," he said, glancing left and right before steering her towards her room. "But I don't see any reasons to celebrate."

"It's a special day, Max."

"You're not going to let this go are you?" he sighed as they stopped at her door.

She shook her head, opening her handbag to get her keycard. "Nope."

Max rolled his eyes and took the card, unlocking the door for her and following her inside. "Why is it so important to you?"

Slipping off her heels, she pushed them next to her suitcase. "It's a time to celebrate… To reflect and appreciate what you've been given."

Leaning against the dresser, he set the keycard down and folded his arms. "You don't think they're childish and unimportant?"

She looked up from gathering her pajamas to change into. Frowning, she shook her head. "That's your father speaking, isn't it?"

His eyes shuttered and his stance grew tense. "I'm not…"

"Is he why you didn't celebrate?" she whispered.

"My mom tried," he said after a moment of tense silence. "She'd make a cake or get me a little something. But…"

He pushed away from the dresser and walked across the room. She sat back on her heels, watching him pace before he stopped at the window. Heart breaking for the little boy inside him, she pushed to her feet and walked over, tentatively sliding her hand over his.

"We didn't celebrate. Even when I won." His voice was hoarse, as though it hurt him to say the words.

"Oh, Max," she sighed. She hesitated, still not used to this sort of closeness, and finally leaned her head against his arm.

He let out a shuddering sigh and she realized he wasn't used to it, either. Slipping his hand free, he wrapped his arm around her slowly and cautiously, as though afraid she was going to push him away.

"Can I throw you a small party?" she asked after a moment. "With just a few people who care about you?"

Groaning, he pressed his lips into her hair. "If you must."

"Who would you want to invite?"

He snorted. "You and Kevin." Tucking his chin on the top of her head, he wrapped his other arm around her. "You can invite Logan, too."

Surprised, she leaned back, heart skipping several beats. "Logan?"

"He's special to you and Kevin. You and Kevin are special to me." He paused, eyes meeting hers. "So he's special to me too, I guess."

"Max," she whispered. "You mean that?"

"Don't say it like that, don't make it—"

She leaned up, silencing him with a kiss. Don't make it weird. But it already was.

And she kind of loved it.

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[beegone-yeet]

Kevin Barnes hc backstory

(+ Joseph)

Kevin's father is an alcoholic. Gets pretty severe hangovers, so he wouldn't notice Kevin's behavior, and would be unable to harm him or his mom effectively. Kevin's mom is an enabler and a narcissist. Doesn't care or just doesn't care to notice, and not hear out the school and parents about how Kevin was harming his classmates over anything he deemed wrong. Or what his parents deemed wrong. His mom didn't do anything about it. That fueled Kevin's belief that he wasn't doing anything wrong and it's just others outside his family being idiots; not believing in the needed maturity for children his age.

perceived his neglect as his parents making him more independent, making him a step ahead of others his age. Was taught how to do things himself so they wouldn't have to pay attention to him. Kevin's anger is a response to practically everything because his environment expressed emotions through anger, his parents violence towards each other and him if one does something “stupid”

Kevin's trauma response is with aggression and violence because it's the only way he could vent his emotions without being seen as weak, he still finding it good because of the maturity and independence he has but not knowing the damage inflicted, and growing resentment the more physical harm his parents do to him because “why aren't they happy with me?"

The violence and aggression is the only way he could vent because it's the only way for him to not be seen as weak and vulnerable and to be hurt again, and would rather hurt others before they hurt him no matter the intentions

When they divorced, Kevin's mom got custody and dad had to pay child support. Mom thought highly of herself and she deserved more for putting up with her husband. And Kevin. Kevin was growing up and getting in the way of her adult time. He'd take care of himself fine. She wouldn't have to care. Just ignore it, the problem would go away itself. Kevin's mom didn't care about how his behavior affected others, only caring when it affected her, then she'd beat and yell at him. Kevin hated adults for thinking he should be lower, less mature, how despite being older they just didn't get how him being unsupervised was benefiting him and they should teach their own. Then there was that day, where an argument with his mom was way, way worse. She was hurting him again, and didn't understand him anymore like she did a while back, and he couldn't take it this time.

I'd live by both their example and show her what I learned. The bitch didn't like it, though. When I retaliated by doing whatever I did, not remembering exactly but

I hurt her back

She too retaliated. Of course. What did you expect? The swipe of her claws getting me around my eye fucking hurts. The next day, I wasn't home anymore.

Playcare. Where Kevin gained a fear of something. Knowing his parents were still out there, not dead unlike the many orphans here who's parents had. They could possibly enter his life again. He don't know how they would come back but he doesn't want them to. They'd hurt him again and he wasn't ready for it like he always had been. The environment was overwhelming with its color, smiles open for a hope to win trust, the noise the kids made when they were happy with their toys.

When he was now “Doey The Doughman”, his mind wasn't in his favor. Eventually two people claiming to be.. parents, maybe his parents, couldn't hear really over the ringing in his head, were in the room with him. They wouldn't leave him alone. He was scared but didn't show them or else they'd see weakness and hurt. He hurt the parents, but they weren't just hurt.

<This is jumbled because I copy and pasted this from my DOC into this and tried to rewrite them into this, but since my draft didn't save.. twice, I decided to not put as much effort in currently. I swear the og was better->

Think of it as his past as Kevin's fanon version but when he's in Playcare he's starting to branch off of that where he's gotten more awareness on how "maybe what happened to me wasn't okay" but he can't drop those habits and is now wondering what's wrong with himself

Make it work

Joseph would've had a family like the Ayers but his mom died of a heart attack in 1982 when he was just four years old. Her death left his dad with not only struggling with her death but financially too. Over the weeks, months, years¿ it got worse, and while he was now eight years old, his dad would get progressively more absent from back-to-back shifts to support them with bills and food. He couldn't find any jobs that worked, so he stuck with his job at the Playtime CO Factory. The only things Joseph knew about his dad was work and sleep, yet he still craved attention. His dad loved him of course and wanted to be present for his son but it wasn't possible with the work schedule, so he gavs Joseph a mini Huggy Wuggy toy, which was its purpose. To be there to give children a hug when their parents weren't able to. Dad would try finding others to watch over Joseph while he worked. Switching from person to person led to Joseph forming insecure attachments which formed as clingy behavior

When things plummeted, he couldn't take care of them both properly anymore. Then, there was an idea. Playtime CO has an on-site orphanage, and perhaps, Joseph could find a better life there where he'd have everything he'd need. Joseph was a good kid, everything a parent would want in their child, and still at an ideal adoption age. He knew Joseph would beg to stay, so when the paperwork was completed, he claimed it was a “Bring your kid to work day” thing, like a trip, took Joseph to Playcare and once Joseph turned away to look at the Counselor and looked back, his dad wasn't there. Only the strangers that were blocking the doorway, talking and him unnoticed

I realized while writing their backstories that they're like polar opposites, so I decided to lean into that

I was thinking of why Joseph wouldn't get adopted despite being called by his dad everything a parent would want in a child and being an ideal age and the only reasonable thing I got it Joseph avoiding prospective parents because he hopes his dad would come back for him instead

And to get these out here

And a random thing I did when I was sick

[foxufortunes]

Hang on I'm having a Kevin Defender moment. Like I know the Kevin and Jean and the Nest situation is pretty polarising for a lot of people, but I do think we're kind of too harsh on Kevin about it sometimes. Like, you it's a bit weird that was never hear of how close he and Jean were in the Nest, but then you can rationalise that by saying a lot of Kevin's really harsh recovery (the "omg what have I do let me go back I need to go back and save Jean" period) was likely done off screen pre-Neil. And then, pre-Neil goes to the Nest, Neil wasn't actually that friendly with the Monsters. Most of what we hear of Kevin and the Ravens isn't from Kevin, it's from people like Nicky and Wymack. And let's be real, Neil probably wouldn't have cared even if he had been told about Jean, the boy's mind is very focused and Jean is not one of the things it's focused on. So that can all sorta be made sense of.

But then you've got TSC and the EC and what went down. And this is framed from Jean's pov so of course he's hurt. Kevin used him as a distraction to get out of the Nest in a desperate situation and because he revealed the secret of their both knowing French, and this put Jean in a worse position. Sure, but Kevin was begging to be helped. He was being beaten within an inch of his life and bones broken and his one reason for living destroyed. And maybe I read wrong or missed something, but Jean didn't help him. He tried to fix him up after sure, but he didn't help him. And, while it's fine to say that Jean couldn't step in because then he'd be beaten, why then think that Kevin shouldn't be any less selfish? His "if you ever cared about me, distract him" (I can't remember the exact quote off the top of my head) could just have easily been "you didn't help me when he broke my hand, so do it now". Because, let's be real, the books are very clear on this, if Kevin didn't leave the Nest, he would be dead by now. Exy is his only reason for living as much as it is Riko's. Without it, he wouldn't have survived. And that's not to say Jean doesn't have the right to be bitter and hurt by Kevin's actions, (these are two hurt, abused boys, they're going to be messy and angry as much as people like Andrew are messy and angry just in a different way) but that for a fandom who loves to insist their narrators are unreliable you sure do rely on them and take their view of things as true and accurate and the right way to feel a lot. They're all right and they're all wrong. That's what happens with messy traumatised people and cults.

[foxesandrabbits]

Not only Kevin's entire future with Exy, his one purpose, was crushed alongside his hand, but also, for a moment, his life was on the line too. And he was so scared, he spoke and plead in every language he knew, in hopes anyone would help him, and how soul crashing it must’ve been to know that no one would.

He asked Jean for help, not really understanding that he was damning them both by speaking french in front of Riko because that moment was it- he was going to die. But they both had their hands tied, not having full freedom to actually act the way they wanted. And how devastating is that? Asking for help, and not receiving it. Watching the person you love the most hurt, and not being able to help them. Both their lives at stake, both unable to do something about it.

At that moment, I think, was when Kevin fully recognized that no matter how Jean felt about him (even when Kevin made him break the rules, like teaching him french), there was always going to be a wall between them in the form of a raven. How he truly learned that Jean wouldn’t go with him that night even if he asked, why he used him, because he knew Jean couldn't allow himself to do it willingly, knowing he was betraying the Moriyamas, their cuts ran too deep for that to happen.

And oh, to see Jean for the first time since Renee rescued him must’ve been so excruciating, “bottomless guilt”, how easy was to be back in the nest tending each other's wounds, and how much he didn't want that to happen ever again.

Once Kevin learned how to trust himself, how to be a little less afraid, how to convince himself that there was more to life that what he had been taught, he truly saw Jean, this person that would have done anything for him, at one point.

Kevin couldn’t rescue Jean once, but he wasn’t going to let that happen again, so he made sure to give Jean the best chance he could find so he could have the same hope the foxes had given him. Even if it was without him.

[trialssam]

https://www.tumblr.com/trialssam/755982983333347329?source=share

Hi, I saw this post you reblogged and didn't want to derail it or give you/the op unwelcome notes to deal with so I thought it'd be better to ask this way. I felt like the post felt kind of contradictory and selective to me, and I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it?

First, I won't defend Dean keeping Gadreel a secret from Sam after Sam was possessed, that was wrong and it led to Kevin's death. Full stop, he was in the wrong for concealing that. But Dean didn't "let" Gadreel possess him... He told Gadreel that it was Sam's choice and didn't know the manipulative methods that Gadreel would use to get Sam's yes. He trusted Gadreel bc he thought he was Ezekiel and Cas told Dean that he could be trusted. Gadreel took advantage of his trust and he was the one who lied to Sam to get Sam's permission.

I'm also trying to remember when Dean violated Sam's body autonony other than keeping Gadreel a secret and I can only think of him and Bobby forcing Sam to detox in s4, but in the context of Sam being manipulated by demons and the way that the demon blood was affecting him, I think that can be justified (though I guess I understand if you don't agree). Either way, I think it's most directly comparable to Sam trying to rid Dean of the Mark of Cain, and the route Sam chose to do that did actively violate Dean's expressed wishes, resulted in Charlie's death and putting the entire world at risk of ending, which Sam knew was a risk... When Dean forced Sam to detox he was trying to save Sam and prevent the apocalypse, while when Sam cast the spell to remove the MoC he was trying to save Dean while knowing that it would cause unimaginable destruction and death. So in comparing those two similar situations, it seems to me like Sam was the one who was more reckless and willing to risk more because he couldn't live without Dean.

Also, in as early as Faith we saw Sam actively going against Dean's wishes to save him despite the method being incredibly suspicious and Dean not wanting to be saved that way. Sam saving Dean resulted in the death of an innocent person in Faith (it's not Sam's fault, the person would have died anyway, but now his death was on Dean's conscience when he didn't want to be saved like that in the first place), and in s3 Sam was on board with harvesting organs and frankensteining him and Dean to go on living forever just to save Dean from Hell.

Also in Mystery Spot, I'm a little confused how it was used it as an example of how he can live without Dean? That episode is supposed to show us that Sam will risk and do anything to keep Dean alive (kind of like the body part harvesting episode), to the point of possibly murdering Bobby on the suspicion that it was actually the trickster (he was correct about that, but he wasn't 100% sure so he did stab him knowing that he might be wrong and would be killing his uncle). So I just don't think it's a good example of Sam being less codependent than Dean, since the message of the episode is the exact opposite.

To be clear, I am not a Sam anti, I like him a lot. I just think that the show shows us time and time again that both Dean and Sam make reckless and harmful choices to save each other, and both of them display a lack of concern for the other's autonony over the course of the show. I don't really like the idea of arguing over which one incident was worse than the other, since ultimately that's kind of unquantifiable and they both make so many mistakes and both ultimately forgive each other. And the purgatory thing and the Gadreel thing are so different, if we want to compare one situation to another I feel like it makes more sense for the more similar situations like the demon blood detox and the MoC.

Anyway, hope you have a good day and I'm interested in hearing your thoughts!

Hey, Anon! I have an extended list of what Dean did to Sam that he thought it was right or that it was fair, but it wasn't.

• Dean DID let Gadreel possess Sam. Gadreel manipulated Sam when it was the time for Sam to say yes, but Dean LET him. What was even worse is that, after the possession, Dean kept lying to him, even when Sam thought he was crazy because he felt like there was pieces of time missing. Dean knew about Sam's story with possession, but he let it happen because he was desperate to not be left behind by his brother. Sam only found out the truth when the king of hell possessed him (after his body was tortured). Dean NEVER apologized for it. And he would do it again.

• Dean was the one who started the Apocalypse, but the narrative, the characters only blamed Sam. They both had the same goal: kill Lilith, then why only Sam got the blame? Dean left Sam in that panic room to die, Castiel let him escape, and instead of trying to talk to Sam, Dean called him a monster. Sam was manipulated by Ruby the entire time, so he was always at a disadvantage. When Dean went to hell, Sam was alone and grieving, and Ruby was there for him to give him what he wanted. But Sam learned from his mistakes, having THE arc of redemption in s5.

• I wouldn't discuss the Mark of Cain because that whole storyline was a JOKE. But anyway, Dean took the MOC willingly. He was becoming the worst version of himself. He was getting dangerous, and Sam tried talking to him to see the reason, but Dean didn't want to hear it. So Sam did what he had to do. And let's be honest here: Charlie caused her own death. She was dumb enough to leave the place where she was safe, to get killed. Dean never faced the consequences for anything related to the Mark. Different from the demon blood detox, Sam would never be cured by it because it was literally inside him. The Mark was only a curse that could be cured by a spell (the result wasn't nearly as bad as the apocalypse because the Amara storyline was pretty weak).

• In Mystery Spot, Sam was different because he was fueled by revenge, but he only "killed" Bobby because he knew it wasn't him. "You know why? Because you're not Bobby" and then stabbed him. And I'm not saying Sam doesn't have questionable decisions, but they're less harmful than Dean's.

• In episode Faith, when Dean was "saved" by that preacher, they both didn't know how that happened, but Sam believed Dean deserved to be saved, he always believed in Angels and in God, but he didn't know that it was a work from a reaper.

I'll never deny that they both were codependent on each other, but this codependency was unbalanced.

And I won't talk about the purgatory thing because I will not touch that can of worms again (too many years talking about it, and I'm so sick of it, lol)

Dean wasn't being selfless in "saving" Sam, every time he did, was for himself. Sam even said that to him in 9x13:

Dean always had this hero complex (and God complex bc it fits) that he SHOULD keep Sam alive, even when he doesn't want to, and that is a violation. Sam couldn't even keep secrets about HIMSELF from Dean, that he got punched in the face, like his life is not his own. Sam constantly thanked Dean for being there for him, and he always felt like he owed his brother everything, but you guys are 1st to judge Sam when he DOES something to save Dean and he doesn't as well, which is a hipocrisy.

To say that they're "equally" harmful to each other is not paying attention to their dynamics throughout the years. Dean always had the final word, even when Sam didn't agree with him, which it became worse in late seasons, and like Sam told him in s9, "I'll give you this much. You are certainly willing to do the sacrificing as long as you're not the one being hurt."

They ultimately forgive each other because Dean doesn't want to be alone, and I know he loves Sam, just like we know Sam loves his brother, but what choice does Sam have? He could never go on with the life of hunting without his brother. That's why it was so important for Sam to Dean to give him his blessing in 15x20 to stop hunting.

I hope you have a good day as well :)

[the-queen-and-the-king]

A little piece of paradise - 17

Summary: It's now time to celebrate Will's birthday, but also time for Emily and Aaron to keep their promise: they have to annouce to the team - already aware - that they're together. An harder step that it seems.

Characters: BAU team + Kevin and Will

Contents: a tiny bit of angst because our favorite idiots are so stressed, but it's pretty cool (again) + some smut at the end (don't sneeze, it's very short!). NSFW/Minors DNI

This text will be an AU with a sudden canon-divergence. I wrote it when I was rewatching the show, so many chapters will be directly related to some episodes of season 4. There will be 28 chapters.

PS : English is not my mother language so they are necessarily mistakes. Sorry about that.

___

Read on AO3 / lire sur AO3

___

As announced, JJ invited them to Will's birthday party two weeks later, and they accepted, not without some trepidation. They both knew they couldn't get away, as the two blondes were waiting for them with bated breath. No matter how much they reminded themselves that they'd only be revealing a secret that everyone knew, the process was no less complicated. For them, it meant exposing very intimate feelings that they had worked hard to conceal from those around them, in order to be able to live them to the full. No outside pressure, no insidious questions, no negative reflections from anyone. They loved each other intensely in their little bubble, and bursting it made them feel as if they were standing naked in front of a crowd.

That's why they reached their friend's house with a lump in their stomachs, a heavy silence hovering in the cabin of Aaron's car. Emily regularly sought the touch of her companion's fingers whenever he didn't need his hand to drive, and he never pushed her away. When he parked on the street nearby, she was overcome by a sudden urge to get the hell out of there. As she met her lover's gaze, she read the same impulse in it, which reassured her somewhat. Without consulting each other, they exchanged a tender kiss and then, still without saying a word, motivated each other to leave the vehicle and ring JJ's doorbell.

Nevertheless, it was Penelope who welcomed them and, with surprising discretion, greeted them and pledged her support for their task ahead. They thanked her shyly and she guided them to the other guests. Apart from Spencer, who hadn't yet arrived, all the team members were present, along with JJ's partner and their son, Henry. Kevin Lynch, the analyst's current boyfriend – and himself an FBI agent – was absent. Emily guessed that her colleague hadn't wanted anyone outside their closed circle to know, for which she was very grateful. The computer technician probably wouldn't have said anything, given that his relationship was just as illegal as theirs, but this limited the risk of a leak.

They mingled with the crowd, behaving as they always had until that day: avoiding contact, even furtive, and focusing their attention on those they weren't sleeping with. She could feel Penelope and JJ's eye pressure on her neck, however, which only aggravated her anxiety and made things all the more difficult for her. More than ever, she longed to snuggle into Aaron's arms and feed off his warmth and kisses. When his shoulder brushed hers as they circled the buffet, she had to summon all her strength not to give in to her desire for protection.

One thing led to another, and the hours flew by without them embarking on their evening mission. As the time came to eat the cake, Emily joined her companion, who had momentarily returned inside the house. She found him just as he was resting his phone on the hall dresser. He looked up at her as soon as he heard her footsteps, and a gentle smile stretched his lips. She immediately felt like kissing him but restrained herself for fear of someone coming up behind her.    

“Aaron, don’t you think we should do it now?”

His smile faded immediately.

“L… let's wait a little longer.”

“If we wait any longer, they'll all have gone home.”

Henry had already gone to bed, and once the cake had been eaten and the presents opened, the guests would leave one after the other. The window of opportunity was thus drastically reduced. Her lover sighed and retorted:

“… You’re right.”

She took the risk of grabbing his hand to reassure him as much as to reassure herself.

“Do you want to make the announcement or should I?”

They hadn't been able to make up their minds on the matter before they left and had found it unfair to toss the supplicant's coin. So, they opted for improvisation, with the braver of the two jumping in for the other.

“I… I'll do it,” said Aaron, in a stumbling voice.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

She tightened her grip on his fingers to congratulate him and again restrained herself from placing her mouth on his.

“I stay by your side.”

“I hope so,” he said with a half-smile.

“I love you,” she murmured.

“I love you too.”

He looked over her shoulder and came to kiss her. Their tongues intertwined for a few moments and a gentle warmth spread through her lower belly. The idea of sneaking into the nearest room to make love crossed her mind, but she reminded herself that the moment wasn't right for that. They parted, a little out of breath, and allowed themselves a few more seconds of connection, forehead to forehead. She could feel her companion's heart beating hard beneath her fingers. He was afraid as she was. She repeated that she loved him, and he did the same, then they disengaged and headed for the terrace.

In full view of the guests, Emily was tempted to step back. Beside her, Aaron suddenly tensed up. In other circumstances, she would have taken his hand again or run hers down his back to soothe the panic that must have overwhelmed him, but she couldn't afford to do that. Not now. She focused her attention on the benevolent trio of Penelope, JJ and Will smiling at the back of the crowd and hoped her neighbor would do the same.

“Excuse me for interrupting the festivities for a moment,” he began, raising a trembling hand to attract their friends' attention, “I promise I won't be long, but... uh... I... I had an announcement to make.”

He swallowed and had to take a breath to continue. Emily felt terrible for him and suppressed the tears that threatened to roll down her cheeks. They had discussed at length how they would present things, writing hundreds of drafts of their speeches, but none found favor in their eyes. They wanted it to be concise – so as not to prolong this unpleasant moment too long –, clear – so that there would be no misinterpretation and they wouldn't need to start again – and at the same time, they wanted to make it clear that if they had kept it secret for so long, it wasn't against the team, but for themselves. A complex task which Aaron bravely took on.

“Fir… First of all, you should know that if you weren't told earlier, it wasn't because we didn't trust you, but because... because we wanted to preserve our... privacy. And enjoy... just the two of us.”

“The two of you?” Morgan called out. “What do you mean?”

“Well... it... it turns out that... Emily and I are... a couple.”

“What?” croaked the ex-policeman, playing the surprise extremely badly. “I can’t believe it!”

“Derek...” taunted JJ, slapping the back of his head.

He spined to face her but met the dark eyes of the two blondes and gave up any idea of rebellion. An interaction that brought a smile to the lips of Emily and her lover.

“Congratulations!” exclaimed Spencer, raising his cup so quickly that he spilled some of its contents onto the grass.

“Personally, I'm very happy for both of you,” added Dave, imitating his cadet less energetically. “And I feel like saying: Mazel tov!”

“Thank you,” they answered in unison.

They looked at each other and saw the look of intense relief on their partner's face.

“Now, kiss!” exclaimed Penelope, startling them.

“What?” ranted Morgan, not at all enthusiastic about the idea.

“Yes! Kiss!” JJ ignored her, supporting her accomplice.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” chanted the four overexcited federal agents.

Emily turned her gaze back to Aaron, as embarrassed as she was. They weren't expecting this request. What they had just accomplished was already a huge departure from their principles, and to do more seemed insurmountable. Then she told herself that a brief kiss wouldn't expose them any more than that. Her companion must have reached the same conclusion, as he subtly leaned towards her. Their lips met with more force than they'd intended, but without breaking anything. Instinctively, she opened her mouth and so did he. And soon, what was supposed to be a furtive kiss converted into a full-blown blaze. They had been so frightened, so restrained from interacting with each other, that this intimate contact fueled their mutual desire.

The crowd at the bottom of the steps applauded and whistled enthusiastically, as their bodies imperceptibly drew closer together.

“Okay. Stop or get a room!” shouted Derek.

They burst out laughing before Penelope tapped the intruder on the shoulder.

“Well, that's all very nice, but I still haven't opened my presents,” Will pointed out with a smile.

“Ah, yes! The presents! The presents!” demanded the luscious blonde.

All attention then swung to the hero of the day, and the couple took the opportunity to hold hands. Emily seemed like she was breathing again. She now felt so light that she wondered why they hadn't done this earlier. Especially as relief brought another emotion. A strong, powerful, incoercible urge for the man standing beside her. She wanted to merge with him, on the spot, and regretted that this was not possible.

                Nevertheless, they soon found themselves alone in the kitchen. She pushed Aaron back against one of the pieces of furniture in the room and caught his lips with hers, her arms around his neck. He answered her call, his hands running from her shoulders to the small of her back before grabbing her buttocks. She went under his suit jacket to caress his torso through his shirt. She reached for the first button, and he threaded his fingers through the slit in her dress when…

“Don’t mind me, I’m just passing by.”

They flinched and whirled around, their hearts beating wildly.

“Dave?” said Aaron, spotting his mentor at the entrance to the room, bottle in hand.

“D… Dave. So… I'm sorry,” apologized Emily, pulling the fabric back into place.

“Oh, you do what you like,” he replied, opening the first drawer. “You are adults, after all.”

They looked at each other with the same sense of shame plastered on their faces. It was precisely because they were adults that they shouldn't have behaved like that.

“I… Can… can we help you?” her companion stammered, trying to look presentable again.

“If you know where the corkscrew is, yes,” he said, opening a second drawer.

“Uh… maybe… behind you… Aaron.”

It seemed to her that she'd seen JJ putting it away a few hours earlier. The giant stepped back from the cabinet against which he was leaning and opened the drawer to extract what the BAU elder was looking for.

“Here.”

“Perfect! Well, I’ll leave you to it, lovebirds.”

Dave thus left the kitchen, which was suddenly invaded by a profound silence, disturbed only by the cheers of the guests gathered in the garden. Then they went off into a fit of laughter that dissipated all the tension they'd built up over the past two weeks. Emily snuggled up against Aaron's chest and he placed a kiss on her hair. Hand in hand, they returned outside to enjoy the evening with their friends before slipping away an hour later.

                In the car, they didn't talk any more than they had on the outward journey, but the cabin was filled with a light atmosphere. Aaron had naturally placed his palm on his partner's thigh and, little by little, as they drew closer to their destination, moved up her leg, his fingers tilting more and more towards the inside of the muscle. A very subtle movement that Emily appreciated very much. The brazier in her lower belly had ignited and she hoped soon to be devoured by its flames.

                At a red light, she leaned towards him, and they kissed intensely. If they hadn't found themselves in the middle of a busy avenue, she'd probably have detached herself to come and straddle him. It wouldn't have been their first try in a car, and she'd had nothing but fond memories of their previous forfeits. Then the light turned green.   

“Reassure me,” she said, settling back into her normal position, “are you planning to make love to me on the way home?”

“More than ever.”

And he kept his promise. He led her straight into the bedroom, slid the zipper on her dress and took it off without any difficulty. Then he laid her on the mattress, kissed her lips, kissed the hollow of her neck, kissed her breasts, kissed her navel before removing her panties. With an expertise she knew all too well, he brought her to cum with his mouth and tongue in record time. Then he undressed in turn and came to lie beside her. They caressed each other, brushed against each other, pressed against each other until they merged together. Slowly, tenderly, delicately, he led the pace of their ballet, and a stunning orgasm had her trembling from head to toe. She shuddered again as he poured into her and collapsed in her arms, feverish. They fell asleep shortly afterwards, she curled up against his chest, a satisfied smile lighting up her face. The evening had been perfect.

___

First chapter >> https://www.tumblr.com/the-queen-and-the-king/771016298484334592/a-little-piece-of-paradise-1?source=share

Next chapter >> https://www.tumblr.com/the-queen-and-the-king/781793071144763392/a-little-piece-of-paradise-18?source=share

[astra-galaxie]

"Hopefully not! The next time a man puts a ring on Maddie's finger, I want it to be the real deal!" - Kevin O'Malley

Biographical information

Full Name: Kevin O'Malley

Alias(es): Kev

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Status: Alive

Age: 56 (season 4)

Birth: 1834

Race: Human

Nationality: Irish

Origin: Ireland

Residence:

Concordia, USA

Ireland (formerly)

Profession(s):

Production Manager

Automobile Mechanic

Past Profession(s): Assembly line worker

Family:

Eileen O'Malley (wife)

Maddie O'Malley (daughter)

Affiliation(s): Concordia Motor Company

Profile

Height: 5'8" Age: 56 (season 4) Weight: 189lbs Eyes: hazel Blood: A-

Kevin is a tall, muscular middle-aged man with slightly tanned, freckled skin, short, graying auburn hair, a matching beard, and hazel eyes. He wears a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, dark brown pants held up by forest green suspenders and brown work boots. Kevin also wears a gold pocket watch that he keeps in one of his pants pockets and a pair of goggles around his neck.

History

Kevin is an Irish immigrant who moved to Concordia with his wife, Eileen, a few years before Maddie was born. He worked at Concordia's automobile factory as an assembly line worker. The days were long, and the work was tiring, but the money helped put food on the table and kept a roof over his family's head, and Kevin would do it all over again if it meant keeping them safe, happy, and healthy. However, work robbed him of time spent with his family as he left home when the sun was rising and often stayed late working overtime to bring home extra money. It was hard making a decent living as an immigrant, even back when Kevin and Eileen arrived, and there was less of an immigrant population in Concordia back then.

However, as the years went by, Kevin's hard work and dedication to the factory paid off, and he was eventually promoted to Production Manager. With the promotion came better pay and more reasonable hours, but sadly, by this time, his relationship with his wife and daughter had become strained… He and Eileen had grown further apart, and their love was almost non-existent. They still care for each other but no longer love each other like they once did. As for Kevin and Maddie, they were closer to strangers than family…

As more time passes, Kevin and Maddie slowly begin to improve their relationship. But Kevin and Eileen mutually decided their relationship could not be salvaged. Still, they chose to remain married unless one of them met someone and wanted to seek a new relationship or a second marriage. Thankfully, Kevin and Maddie still had time and a wish to rebuild their relationship and become a family again. Finding a mutual interest in automobiles ended up being the first stepping stone in their quest.

Life soon stabilized for Kevin. He had a nice house, a good job, and a better relationship with his daughter. Though, sometimes, he could do without his wife and daughter coming to him to complain about the other… Well, at least they both trusted him enough to confide in him!

In happier news, Kevin got a front-row seat to witness Maddie's promotion to detective and got to be the first to hear the news that she'd been asked to join the Flying Squad. Kevin always knew his daughter would accomplish great things, so it was no surprise to him that she was invited to join the Squad. Of course, he couldn't have been prouder either since he knows how hard Maddie worked to earn her badge, and Kevin is happy she never gave up despite the naysayers. He's confident Maddie and her team will accomplish countless extraordinary things and hopes he'll hear all about them from her.

Events of Criminal Case

Season 4

The father of Maddie O'Malley, Kevin, debuted during an extra chapter (Hello Son, I'm Dad) following the events of Overkill. Eileen had visited him at work to rant about how their daughter had gotten engaged to one of her coworkers, running Eileen's plans to betrothed Maddie to Doctor Wharton. Kevin, unaware that Eileen had arranged for Maddie to marry a man even older than him, was furious. Sure, he would be overjoyed to walk Maddie down the aisle at her wedding, but Kevin wanted it to be when she was marrying her true love, not some stranger Eileen had found! After giving Eileen a piece of his mind and demanding she stop meddling in Maddie's love life, Kevin wanted to talk to his daughter's "fiance" and find out who he was.

(Of course, he knew the engagement was fake. Maddie and he may still be working on fixing their relationship, but Kevin knows she will never keep a romantic relationship a secret from him. At least not when it was to the point of marriage!)

So, after work, he rushed to the Flying Squad's airship docking station to catch Maddie's "fiance" before he left. Kevin had never met the Squad, but Maddie had spoken of her coworkers before, so he made an educated guess that the Squad's inventor, Charlie Dupont, had played the fake fiance. And luck was on his side as Charlie was the last member at the docking station, getting ready to leave after locking the airship.

But even though he knew the engagement was fake, Kevin couldn't help having a little fun teasing Charlie before revealing that he knew the truth. He was grateful that Maddie had friends she could trust and rely on to help her get out of an arranged marriage. While a selfish part of Kevin wished his daughter had come to him for help, he's happy that her friends helped her. (And embarrassed Eileen a little.) Charlie is a good man and friend for agreeing to play a fake fiance at the drop of a hat.

And when Maddie told Kevin weeks later that she and Charlie had officially begun dating, he was SO happy for his little girl. He knows Charlie will treat her well and make her happy. Kevin just hopes that when the time comes for the couple to really get engaged, Charlie will ask Kevin for his blessing first. Not that they don't already have it!

Story Information

First appeared: Hello Son, I'm Dad

Trivia

Kevin taught Maddie how to drive. Cars are one of their biggest common interest, and the two could spend hours talking about them

He tried teaching Maddie Irish Gaelic, but since he wasn't home often, they didn't have much time to practice. She knows some basic phrases but can't hold a conversation in the language. However, as the two grow closer and spend more time together, Maddie is slowly learning more Gaelic

While he now works in management, Kevin still keeps his mechanic skills up to date. He fixes any issues his or Maddie's automobiles have and loves getting a chance to get his hands dirty… Much to Eileen's annoyance!

As much as Kevin enjoys living in Concordia, he would like to visit Ireland with his family. Maddie always loved listening to her parents talk about their homeland, and Kevin hopes he can one day show her where their family came from and introduce her to other relatives

Disclaimer: Character design was created using Rinmarugames ! I have only made minor edits to the design! Background courtesy of CriminalArtist5

Links to my stories:

The Case of the Criminal (Ao3/Wattpad) Killer Bay (Ao3/Wattpad) Where in the World are the Killers? (Ao3/Wattpad) Murders of The Past (Ao3/Wattpad)

[sunny6677]

Cicadas: When October Sings. - BOOK 1

Summary:

Mysterious events begin to occur in a small suburban town Kevin lives in.

CHAPTER 3: The Picnic.

————

..after a few more long minutes of driving along the stretch of the gray road, the vehicle slowed, and we came to a stop.

The air outside was warm. Unbelievably warm, in fact. I felt it practically frown me the moment I stepped outside onto the sidewalk. The car had parked in front of a large bright green patch of field with a single tree in the middle.

Nearby was a small wooden building in the distance—which appeared to have no on inside judging by the fact that there were no cars parked in front of it. The sun beamed down onto its wood, causing the brown shade to shine brightly in the sunlight. And before the small, peculiar building that looked like it was gonna fall apart any second now—there was a strange statue of..

...

I glanced away, swallowing nervously. It was probably my imagination. That thing wasn't real anyway.

"Wooh.." Streber let out a sigh, wiping his knuckles against his forehead and sweeping off the sweat. He hoisted the basket into his arms as Ethan walked calmly around the vehicle, a smile curled on his face.

I saw Ethans gaze flicker toward me, and a melting hue of worry formed in them as he chuckled. "You alright?" He grinned, noticing a look on my face that I couldn't.

"..yeah. I'm okay." I huffed.

I tilted my head again, my eyes trailing over the gigantic statue faintly painted with shades of cyan and dark red.

Blinking, I asked, "..what's that for?"

Ethan tilted his head to the side a bit in return, glancing in the direction of the statue before letting a small laugh escape his mouth. "Oh.. I.. I don't really know. I know it's important to the people who really like that Stars Festival thing though."

"..stars festival?"

"..well.. it's actually called The Festival of The Stars. But it's not really that important." He shrugged, "It's just some little village thing that they do every year."

"Oh."

Come to think of it, I had heard about it. Some sort of festival that would always take place on one of the last weeks of October—it's dates would always kinda change though. I didn't know much about it aside from some of the dandelion blowing stuff and what not.

..either way, it wasn't really that important.

————

"..aaalllright.. just put these here.."

Streber mumbled aloud to himself—the warm air was somewhat overwhelming. The soft blanket he had laid out for us on the hill made it feel a little less bad though. Or at least like I wasn't gonna combust from sweating any second now. I was starting to swear I could see little ants crawling onto the blanket already, but I couldn't tell if it was that, or if it was little pieces of dirt.

Ethan watched from beside me, his slim phone in his hands as he looked up from the screen. And I couldn't really do much other than just observe as he laid out.. several items of food.

He laid out three wrapped, greasy looking sandwiches in rows—the ingredients within them slightly visible despite the fabric of the wrapper. I felt it's warm scent flow into my nostrils. My stomach nearly rumbled just from the sensation.

From beside them, he set down a yellow mustard bottle, along with a red ketchup bottle. Then from beside that, he placed a small box of watermelons and several other fruits. Meatballs. And.. good god, how much did he pack?

Either way, I knew I defintely didn't have to worry about starving. A part of me felt like he only packed this much just because I'm here. And I knew I was probably right about that. I knew him well enough to know he wouldn't pack so many things without any reason.

...mmh.. he really was a good friend.

Streber finally let out a sigh, grinning from ear to ear—"Alright.. there you go! Now we can eat."

————

..as expected, the food was good. Really good, to be honest. The grilled cheese he had packed for me was crisp on the bread, and just the right amount of flavor in the yellow melted piece of cheese in the middle. My stomach felt completely relieved of all it's hunger from before, and I let out a sigh nearly each time I took a bite. I really never had enough energy to eat stuff, but I couldn't really say no when it was him who made it.

Ethan on the other hand ate his sandwich in small bites. While Streber was chattering on loudly about.. something I wasn't really listening to, if I was being honest. It wasn't that what he was talking about wasn't interesting. I was just.. really hungry. I dunno.

A cool breeze was slightly streamj g through now. I felt the winds brush against me, making the beads of sweat on my face feel as if they weren't there.

It was about when I was nearly done with my sandwich that I heard a weird voice calling out.

"Heyyyyy! Streber!"

Streber blinked for a few seconds, snapping his round head in the direction of the sound. Seemingly, it came from somewhere beside me. So, I... just looked to see where it was. And when I did, I almost immediately got my answer.

It was a younger looking girl with orange-reddish hair tied into low pigtails, her face round and a grin made perfectly on her face. She wore a pastel yellow sweater around her skinny body. Alongside her was a woman with long dark blue hair, another girl with short black hair that went to her neck, and..

Well, I didn't need to describe them. I already knew them anyway. But I wasn't sure what exactly they were doing here.

That girl was Liv. I didn't know how Streber and Ethan had met her exactly, but she was a young girl who was currently living with them—about the age of eighteen to be exact. She was pretty chaotic and energetic from what I remembered of her. And anytime I saw her, she.. strangely smelt of mandarin? I didn't know why, but she did.

The woman with the dark blue hair was Aria, who was always really soft-spoken and somewhat awkward. And Confi, who.. well, honestly, I didn't talk to her that much. So I didn't really know what she was like.

There was a small orange vehicle parked behind the one Streber drove her, seemingly the one they must have driven in. After all, they.. were coming up the hill from in that direction. As Liv smiled rather eagerly while marching up the hill toward us, I couldn't help but wonder..

"..Uh.." Uttered Streber, a bit puzzled by their presence as well. "Hi? What are you guys doing here?"

"..yeah." Ethan arched a brow as well, a twitch of a puzzled smile worn on his slim face. "Didn't you say you were busy?"

"Well, we were." Liv huffed as she finally stopped on top of the hill, with Confi shuffling beside her, and Aria quietly walking up with a slight smile on the right side of her. Liv pouted, "But that mall we went to ended up being a little more crowded than we thought it'd be. Hmph."

"..eheheh.." Aria laughed gently, "It's—it's fine though. We decided we'd come here to visit with you guys since we didn't have anything else to do. You alright with that?"

Streber paused. His eyes trailed over them for a moment as the warm silence filled the air, and after a second, he finally gave a simple nod. "Uh.. well, alright! I'm okay with that. Just try not to eat too much, alright? I don't know if I packed enough for three more people."

"..might as well have.." I found myself mumbling with a slightly low tone. He didn't respond, not seeming to hear.

"Hah—yes!" Liv laughed rather loudly from where she stood, practically hopping foward toward the blanket. She shuffled onto an empty space next to me, giggling while moving up and down at a rather rapid rate.

Confi swiftly moved in silence, shuffling next to the last empty space near Liv. Streber moved a bit more closer to Ethan, leaving room for Aria to join in.

Aria let out a sigh. "Oh.. thank you. Eheh.."

Chuckling, she lowered herself near the space Streber had left empty, and made herself comfy as she shifted onto it. Streber flashed her a simple grin, beaming, "Yeah—no problem, Aria. Heh.. sorry if you don't get to eat much."

"It's okay." Aria denied reassuringly, "I.. kind of ate already anyway."

..I sat in slight quietness, holding the sandwich near my mouth still. The breeze blew against my hair, making me feel the trickles of my sweat down my neck, along with something that slightly brushed and brushed against my shoulder. I thought it might have been the wind, but even after a few seconds, it didn't go away.

I looked to the side. And... Livs face was practically right next to my shoulder. In response to seeing her round eyes, I slightly flinched. She gave a wide grin, tilting her head to the side.

"..can I have some of that?"

I stared. And slowly frowned.

"..no."

Bringing it closer to my mouth, I took a small bite out of it, seeing her only scowl in the corner of my eye from pettiness.

Well.. looks like we had three more people at the picnic now.

[marshmallowprotection]

Happy Birthday, @sapphireicecream!

"Why'd'ja call me Kevin?"

Page paid no mind to that little huff that escaped Luciel's lips. That was far from her mind as he searched for idle chatter to keep him as busy as he could be.

She knew that he wanted to look busy when they were this close to being spotted by others. Even if she went out of her way to visit him, there was always a chance they’d get caught by the sheriff. Disguise or not, the risk was worth taking in her mind. She wanted to see him, even if it was quite the trek to the church he visited now and again to get his faith back.

Instead, she just ruffled his hair with the same excitement she always would whenever he took off his hat. His hair was already naturally messy, curly as curly could be, but his hat did nothing but make him look more askew than he did before. It didn't bother her, though, nor did it bother him. That was as much as he knew about her smile.

He was happy every time she offered to fix it for him.

In truth, he could hardly care about presenting himself in a formal manner. People knew him as a criminal in most walks of life, and they expected no less from him than to see his knuckles tinted with faint lines of gunpowder, his cheeks kissed by the sun bearing down on him with lines of freckles to frame his smile, and his horse hot on his heels as he traveled from one damn carriage to the next, determined to make his mark.

She knew his goals as well as he knew hers.

There was hell to pay in the desert, and she was lucky, all things considered. Her name was not on his list to strike down.

She was far from his list, and he intended to keep her as far away as she could be from that list. He only targeted people who had more money than they knew what to do with—people who used their leg up on society to demean others and beat them down into they had not a single choice but to obey —and his darling Page was nothing like that.

Sure, she was no criminal like him, but that dazzling smile of hers could have been criminal given how easy it was for her smile to strike down the hearts of men, woman, and con-men alike.

Too bad she didn't know just how much power she had over him. She just kept that smile on her face as she adjusted his hat back on his head. As much as she wanted to look for just a moment longer at him without his hat, they both knew he couldn't stay for long to get his fill.

"Well, I certainly can't call ya' Seven when we're in public like this, unless you want a target on your back," she answered. "I think you want me to scream out and pretend I'm a damsel just so you have time to prove to me how you got that nickname."

He caught one of her hands before she could draw it back. He let his lips glide against her knuckles to her fingertips. "Ya' don't want to live yer' life on the wild side, then, huh?"

"Watch it, criminal, I'd almost think you wanted me to join ya' out there."

He shook his head. "Sorry, darlin'. I reckon more than anythin' I'd like ta' be your Kevin, if only 'cause it'd be easier to see ya'. When I'm with ya', I'm just that... just a Kevin... not Luciel... not Seven... just the typical guy who ain't never thought of misdeeds. I wonder if that'd be better for ya'."

Page nudged his hat down over his eyes with her free hand. "I'd rather be with Seven all day than Kevin. Seven's way more fun to tease."

[otsukare-katsukare]

one of the things that's so amazing about the honourary uce arc, watching it as someone who only came into this whole wrasslin thing around june this year through bits and pieces on youtube and dailymotion and old tumblr posts, is seeing how people predicted the storyline as it went along. cause, and i could be wrong about this but my impression tells me this is the case, this is a rare instance where wwe subverted expectations to greater effect? i now know how frustratingly common it is for them to subvert expectations in bad and nonsensical ways, but looking back at the responses to the bloodline story it's so fascinating!

there's the people who've been living with coward!heel!sami for nearly half a decade and who are convinced he's just using the bloodline for clout and is going to turn on them, or let them down bad enough that they drop him. there's the persistent belief in kevin's assessment that the bloodline 'couldn't care less' about sami, that they just keep him around for some laughs before they destroy him. as things develop, it's the certainty that if no one else, jey is going to do something horrific to sami, or get the bloodline on side against him. (in all this there's the gradual and then meteoric rise in appreciation for sami when a few months ago he was getting jeered to the tune of johnny knoxville's taser :'))) there are quite a lot of correct predictions about sami and kevin ultimately teaming up to take the tag titles off the usos, but very few who get the actual sequence of events right - assuming that kevin would be the one to rescue sami from the inevitable betrayal/beatdown from the bloodline, for instance.

but instead, the story was both more complex and more openhearted. there was no trick! sami might have been using them at first but he did love the bloodline like family. and the bloodline did love sami, even roman did, it's just that roman is incapable of expressing that love in any way other than possession and violence. the story was never cynical. when sami turned on them, it was literally his long-overdue face turn, and the beginning of the end of the bloodline's united front.

and now, knowing everything that led up to it from all the relevant characters' storylines, it feels even more beautiful and surprising. sami's story had been cynical for so long, literally his most emphatic butt of the joke moment coming right before his first promos with roman. his most sincere flashes came through storyline moments with kevin, since the two of them can't seem to tell a story without it immediately becoming fraught with 20 years of anguish and devotion lmao. and the bloodline's story had been deadly serious melodrama, but humourless, so why should anyone expect sincere wholesomeness from them? But you bring those elements together, especially with kevin in the mix, and it's no wonder they ended up with something so vibrant and entertaining and emotionally rich.

[kariachi]

Who wants some quick morning fic?

Another not-so-innocent victim of Ultimate Kevin.

~~

This one couldn’t be blamed on his condition. It wasn’t the fear and respect for the dead that had kept a thirst for vengeance at bay crumbling under the sheer power thrumming through him. It wasn’t the sense holding back bitterness born from years of hurt shattering as the dark gnawing that always sat in the back of his mind grew louder.

He’d been tracking her down before.

Of course it was the nice part of town. Not out where he and Argit had snuck about during the holidays, not in Gwendolyn’s neighborhood, but in that patch where ‘upper middle class’ met ‘lower upper class’. He’d be hard pressed to be surprised. Sorely tempted to set things on fire was more like it. That was impersonal though, didn’t send the message, and hunkered down in a nearby park, watching her pass without a care in the world, that message meant so damn much.

“You work at the shelter on Redwood, yeah?” There was a sweetness in watching her freeze, looking first to her silent dog, only becoming concerned now it noticed she was. Watching her paste a fake sugar smile on her face as she scanned the immediate area. Hunkered down in a cluster of bushes and trees, her eyes slipped right passed him.

“Yes,” she said, foolishly in hindsight. “Who is this? If you need a place to stay you’ll have to go there.” He bit back a humorless snort. No need to let her know where he was.

“Fuck that,” he said instead, “I’ve heard about enough stolen shit.” Something haughty passed over her face, sparked burning in his gut, before the mask came back on.

“We do try to curb-”

“And about the bitch who talks shit about the folks who come in.” She froze again, and he couldn't help the nasty, smirking way his lips pulled back from his teeth. “Tosses out the ladies when her shift starts, gets the guys banned if they bruise her ego.”

The woman turned frantic, looking from patch of foliage to patch of foliage, hand moving to her purse. Her dog sank low, starting to growl in response to her panic. There were worse than her out there. He knew it for a fact, knew it from experience. Even in this moment he regretted never getting the name of that bastard who’d caught him sparking in his sleep, thrown him back onto the street without his supplies, tossing insults as he did. And even that, he knew even back then, wasn’t the worst you could come across. But that didn’t make watching this one suffer any less sweet.

As if people’s lives weren’t hard enough without the likes of her taking up a spot someone kind could have filled.

With a speed she couldn’t have been ready for he slipped onto the path. Cut the lead on her dog and slapped a hand across her mouth in a single fluid motion. The dog bolted. The woman trembled.

“Let’s have a chat-”

[palettepainter]

EDIT: Lowkey kind of already attatched to Cuddly-

Changed his human name so he has a different surname, realised I accidentally gave him the same surname as Kevin

Also some funfacts about him that I either couldn't fit on his ref sheet or I just came up with and wanna share

-He acts a lot like Kissy. I like to hc that as the security Huggy is more intelligent then Kissy, or is at least better at making decisions in spur of the moment type situations. Cuddly is a lot like Kissy in the sense he is often curious, kind and on occasion timid

-Cuddly's bigger body experiment was a trail run to see how successful experimenting on especially young kids could work, and with Cuddly being marketed as the baby to Huggy's and Kissy's husband and wife dynamic in marketing, Cuddly wasn't given the same deadly features as them. He has teeth, but they're more like nubs, they're not as sharp as either Kissy's or Huggy's

-Not sure if I'll make this one cannon to him but these are living toys, anything is possible: had the idea of Cuddly having retractable teeth. Due to him being designed as the 'baby' to the Wuggy family, Cuddly was designed in mind to interact with the younger kids (toddlers and babys, kids no older then 6), and especially around babies Cuddly had to be designed carefully to ensure no accidents would happen. His gums can sort of fold backwards to hide his teeth

-As well as velcro hands and feet, Cuddly also has beans in his hands, feet and body, so there's a very soft thud to his padded feet when he moves about. The bow on his body is also made of felt and is attached to his body, this was to lessen choaking risks since he'd be around little kids and babies

-Since Cuddly spent a lot of his time around the younger kids, and young kids - especially babies - don't have a real grasp of fear at such a young age, Cuddly is in some ways the same. This can lead to him sometimes wondering off too far without actually realising how far he's gotten

-This one will depend if we ever hear Kissy or Huggy speak, but if Cuddly could talk, his speech would be very broken and it would take great effort in his part to pronounce even the most simplest of words. Since his bigger body counterpart experiment was a trail run, once the scientists were assured that Cuddly would proove to be a success, they didn't develop his vocal cords much, hence why he would struggle to talk

-As well as his vocal chords, his intelligence also isn't the greatest, hence why he is so curious in nature because he often genuinely doesn't understand things. He can understand people and toys fine, but overly complicated requests or shouting can lead to him sort of freezing up on the spot

-Like Huggy and Kissy have been shown to do in the game he can make little shrieking noises and often prefers this to talking

-Kissy and Huggy are canonically 18ft tall, Cuddly is much, MUCH smaller then them, and stands a bit taller then the average person at 6ft

-(these dates may be wrong I'm not good at remembering dates) Huggy's bigger body was created in 1990 so it's safe to assume that from a logical standpoint Kissy was created sometime after, then Cuddly. Cuddly was created sometime after the Rowen Stoll incident, by putting this child based toy around Huggy Playtime Co hoped to ease any suspicion or unease Rowen had created amongst the other workers

-The introduction of Cuddly greatly help ease Kissy's anxiety and anxious tendancies, and Huggy got to learn how to better act around small ones. Being a security measure Huggy is good with kids, but personally I like to believe Kissy excels with kids more than him

-Cuddly's bigger body is a far bigger success then the small toy versions of him, having him be at a closer height to a human made him less intimidating and daunting to little kids. Playtime Co made Cuddly an exclusive at Playcare to make the kids feel comfortable (this sadly though caused Kissy's anxious tendancies to return and for Huggy to go back to his viciousness when it came to handling security)

So uhm...I didn't plan to make more Poppy playtime OC's, but like...theoretically, if I DID...what would you guys think about that??

[anyathefandom]

My chaotic thoughts on To Those Fortunate Enough part 2:

@burned-lariat

Disclaimer: Let me start off with saying I should be ashamed with how much of a Wallace apologist I am. Like this man has gotten his son involved with the mob and his son has trauma now because of that and yet here I am saying "I can fix him!!"🛐

Dex basically said "I'm going to pin point how much you both fucked up as parents and you will deal but before I do that let me eat this burrito. Getting exsanguinated by your grandfather takes a lot out of a person🤷‍♂️"

At least he's eating, Wallace thought, The more he focuses on recovery, the less he'll want to dig up a buried hatchet.

"I'm not going to let it go."

Me:

Any stories I could've told him had to do with your family," Wallace retorted, "Talking to him about you meant talking to him about Helena. He'd ask about her, and then ask about his family through you both, he'd get curious and seek them out, and then he'd be gone for good. I couldn't just let that happen."

"You think so low of me," Dex sighed, feeling his heart ache a bit, "You honestly believed I'd be super curious about my mother's family when all I wanted to know about was my mother."

Me: I mean I get Wallace's pov of not wanting Dex to know too much about Irina when he was a child because kids are naturally curious and he most likely would've wanted to know about Irina and her side of the family that he hasn't met but I think when Dex got well into his teens he should've been given the whole rundown about the cassadines and who Irina is because he definitely deserved to know at that point. Like Wallace should know resentment would've been building up against his mother the longer he went without much information on her.

"Too damn bad," Wallace scoffed, "I know you're still bitter over me not telling you about your mother, and clearly you still carry some resentment over the past, but to accuse me of not caring about you, of not being as good of a father as I can be? That hurts. I love you, Dex, I always have. How could you treat me like this?"

Me: oof and this one those times though I can't stand beside Wallace because he's just dismissing Dex's feelings over the traumatic situations he's dealt with and if that hurt I know damn well it gutted Dex. Poor baby.😔

Okay so now their fighting about the past and this whole time I'm just going " It's time to call up Kevin because y'all need family ✨ Therapy ✨" their both doing a whole lot of deflecting and pointing fingers at the other so things are definitely not getting resolved between them at the moment. There's just so much heart and misunderstanding between them.😔

"There had to be another way. You could've convinced Helena to raise me as an assassin, you could've gone with us anyway. We could've had new identities, we could've been a family living somewhere else."

"Helena would've found us-"

"You don't know that."

"You don't know what she was capable of. Getting you out was the only thing I could do."

"You didn't even try. You just…caved to that woman and got rid of me. You didn't bother reaching out to me, you didn't attempt any escapes to reunite with me. You chose to stay in the compound because your fear of Helena meant more than your love for me."

Me: And this is why I said Wallace should've gave Dex the rundown on his mother's side of the family because if he knew all the things Helena has done he would've been more understanding of what Irina had to do to ensure Dex's safety.🙈

I just wanted my mom and my dad. I…I wanted you two to be around, to love me and care for me the way every kid deserves. Instead, I got a mother who was physically absent and a father who was emotionally absent. All your claims about doing what you did for me or to protect me mean nothing because at the end of the day, you both hurt me and I deserve to feel that hurt."

Me: Good for him for telling them that they hurt him and he deserves to process his hurt regardless of all the excuses they were giving him.

So now dex has passed out and irina is on her way to the hospital with him but Wallace basically said: I'll go check on my son in a minute first I got to go light sonny's shit on fire for putting my son on a meat hook"😂😭

[infinite-wanders]

Never Have I Ever

... HAD A GIRL STAY OVER (Part II)

Part I - HERE

{Devi's Version}

Devi sat on the benches by the pool, waiting for Paxton to finish practice.

It's not like she had anywhere to be. Eleanor and Fabiola walked by her today with just disappointment in their eyes. She desperately wanted to talk to them. It had been a crazy few days.

Ben had tried to kiss her - twice. Paxton actually kissed her! And then she finds out her mom is trying to move her to India. She couldn't leave without mending their friendship and wondered how she would make it right.

It amused her that Ben Gross had really tried to kiss her twice, followed by concern that he did that when he was still dating Shira. Devi had enough confusion in her life to delve into that, so she accepted his awkward apology to her earlier at the lockers.

"Paxton! A new school record for butterfly! Keep this up and you are a shoe in for Stanford," called out Coach Noble.

She looked up from her phone to see Paxton flying through the the water, a calming sensation washing over her. Ben now a distant memory.

Paxton was grinning at her as he climbed out of the pool. Admiration filled Devi as she mirrored his smile.

"Didn't know you were one to show off," she teased as he approached her.

"Just had the urge to push myself harder today," Paxton smirked, his shoulders doing that playful shrug.

Her cheeks flushed. She was fighting the urge to kiss him right there.

"Cool cool cool. Well... I'm gonna go wait for you in the car. Later, skater," she replied lamely, as she walked towards the door.

. . .

As they drove towards his house, her anxiety increased as the reality that she, Devi Vishwakumar, was about to be living with her crush, who kissed her just the other day.

"So fun thing about my parents, they uh like to sing Christian songs before dinner," Paxton said sheepishly.

Shit, shit, shit, she thought. How had it not dawned on her that she was meeting Paxton's parents for the first time. This was all too much for Devi. She felt like she was about to pass out.

"Are you okay?" Paxton asked, his face now full of concern. "They won't like try convert you or anything."

"All good, I'm chill. Just need some air," she replied with a small smile.

Quickly winding the window down, Devi felt less light-headed as she breathed in the cool air. She hoped Paxton believed her white lie, rather than see the panic that was taking over.

. . .

"Devi!" grinned Rebecca, as they entered the kitchen. A huge weight lifted upon seeing his sister's welcoming smile.

"What's poppin'?" Devi nodded back with a smile.

"I got into fashion school! Thanks so much for your help," Rebecca replied, surprising her with a fierce hug.

"Congratulations, though I'm not surprised. You're clothes were amazing!"

"Devi, it's so nice to finally meet you," smiled Paxton's mom as she dried her hands on a kitchen towel. "Becca and Paxton only have good things to say about you."

Devi blushed at this information. "I think they're both great too, Mrs Hall-Yoshida. Thank you both for letting me stay. Can I help you get anything ready for dinner? It's the least I can do."

"Please, call us Kevin and June," Mr H-Y pipped up. "Paxton's friends are always welcome here. Dinner is almost ready so just relax and take a seat."

"Okay, sure," nodded Devi, wondering which seat to take at the table. Her silent question was answered as Paxton pulled out one of the end chairs with a small nod and smile.

Devi's mind raced. Of course they'd think we're just friends. We've only kissed once. It didn't mean he'd want to be my boyfriend, especially after how Mom bitched him out the next day. He just felt sorry for my homeless ass.

As lovely as dinner was with the Hall-Yoshidas, it left her with a small ache, as it reminded her of family dinners before her dad died.

Rebecca and Paxton's banter reminded conversations between her and her mom, while Paxton's parents played the peacemaker between them, just like her dad used to.

They were about to have dessert, when she felt something brush along her leg, making her jump. She couldn't believe Paxton was playing footsies at dinner. Her eyes widening as they made contact with him.

"You all good?" laughed Paxton.

"For sure."

"Hey there, Jack," chuckled Paxton, as he held up a cat with one eye. "Looks like he likes you, Devi."

"Oh damn, you weren't joking about your cat," Devi laughed while trying not to feel stupid for thinking Paxton would be flirting with her infront of his whole family.

"So you've heard about Paxton and the Nerf gun incident. Let tell you about the time Paxt--"

"Let's not, Mom! Hey, I forgot to tell you I set a new record at practice today," Paxton blurted out in an attempt to stop her sharing an embarrassing childhood story.

"That's awesome, Pax," grinned Kevin.

"We're so proud of you son, but remember if you don't get into college that is totally okay too," smiled June.

Devi saw Paxton's face change at her comment.

"Coach Noble said Paxton should be a shoe in for Stanford," she blurted in support.

"You don't think I can get into college?" Paxton questioned June at the same time.

"You know that's not what we meant honey. Like I told Ms Warner, we value kindness over achievement," she said gently.

Devi could see the tightness in his smile as he nodded defeatedly.

"My mom threatens me with bodily harm if I get anything below an A," Devi joked awkwardly, hoping to ease the tension.

They all looked at Devi for a moment, then started to laugh. She smiled sheepishly, as the mood lifted, giving Paxton as small shurg as he smiled at her gratefully.

. . .

It was close to midnight as Devi lay wide awake in Paxton's bed. How could she sleep knowing she was in Paxton's room. She tried to insist that she was fine to stay on his couch in the garage but he wouldn't have it.

Devi wondered what kinds of music he liked as she stared at a Glass Animals poster pinned above his bed.

The walls were painted a calming sky blue. She decided to give up on sleep, and sat back up to take in her surroundings.

A pile of text books sat on the corner desk, almost like they have never been opened. Photos of his family were perched above, and she couldn't help but smile. Her favourite was of him laughing with an elderly man, she assumed was his grandfather.

That proud feeling surged again at the sight of his many swimming trophies displayed across the room. Devi couldn't help but cringe at the memory of when she cut her leg on one in the garage. It was almost comical for her to think she was ready to have sex with Paxton back then.

Her phone vibrated, distracting her thoughts.

What r u doing?

Holy shit, Paxton was texting her. Her heart raced as she fumbled to reply.

Nothing.

U want company?

Before she could reply she heard a knock at the door.

To be continued...

[jadelotusflower]

It’s Cold in that Fridge: The Case of Nakari Kelen

Since The Case of Mara Jade has been doing the rounds again, I’ve finally gone back to this post that has been sitting in my drafts for literally years. So let’s honour this absolute badass who deserved better:

Once upon a time, the Star Wars universe was but six films (and a tv series) in the story of the Skywalker family. But beyond George Lucas’ story was an absolute boatload of books, comics, games, and other materials that made up the Expanded Universe. When Disney purchased Lucasfilm and the rights to the Star Wars saga, everything in this universe was decanonised and deemed “Legends” - some aspects of this universe were retained or re-purposed, others sit in Disney’s figurative vault and will likely never see the light of day (and seeing how the ST turned out, maybe that’s for the best).

But this transition between Legends canon and Disney canon was not so simple, because the nature of publishing meant that there were novels approved during the time of Legends canon that would be released in the time of Disney canon. In particular, there had been the planned trilogy “Empire and Rebellion”, set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, with each novel from the perspective of one of The Big Three.  

Razor’s Edge (Leia) and Honor Among Thieves (Han) were released prior to the Great Canon Split of 2014.  But while the Luke-centric novel had been planned, it was not due to be released until well after the Split. So Heir to the Jedi (so called as an homage to the Legends progenitor Heir to the Empire) became one of the first books of the Disney canon.

What does this background have to do with Nakari Kelen?  Perhaps nothing, but I do wonder how the writing process was affected by the shift from Legends to Disney - was the novel a relic of the old EU with any reference the LFL storygroup didn’t like excised during editing, or was it a trendsetter for the new EU, a Sign of Things to Come?  

The most salient point being, of course, that Nakari Kelen - like so many love interests before her - was not allowed to go along her merry way at the conclusion of the novel, but was shoved into the fridge.

If there was one constant of the Legends EU, it was that Luke Skywalker’s love interests couldn’t catch a break. Mara Jade naturally lasted the longest relationship-wise, with almost twenty years of marriage to Luke before some bright spark decided she had to go (as per the aforementioned case study). But before Mara there was Jem, Shira Brie, and Gaeriel Captison (who came close to escaping the curse), and in the Legacy of the Force series they brought back sole survivors Akanah and Callista, only to kill them off for good too (and rather brutally, if I may add).

So perhaps when Kevin Hearne began writing HttJ within the confines of the Legends continuity, he was merely sticking to the status quo, or perhaps once subsumed by Disney they needed to make sure Luke's slate was clean (so to speak).  And I can’t put all the blame on Hearne since I don’t know whether it was his idea, or LFL mandated - but regardless it was a poor decision.

The root cause of fridging, imo, is limited imagination.  How best to cause your male protagonist pain if not kill off someone they love, or at least have strong feelings for? The answer is of course, easily. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The Luke Skywalker of HttJ is fresh from his victory in ANH, a lieutenant in the Rebellion: young, not dumb, and full of...

Nakari Kalen is an absolute Queen a civilian volunteer and crack-shot sniper who loans her ship Desert Jewel to the Alliance. Luke is immediately attracted to her, they bond over a mutual love of fast ships and leaving behind desert home planets, and engage in the inexpert flirting of two nineteen year olds while also risking their lives several times over.

I want to make it clear: I actually really like this book. It's a breezy read, almost serialised as The Early Adventures of Luke Skywalker, and is ofttimes genuinely funny. And credit where it’s due to Hearne, many of of the supporting roles in the novel are female. Other than Nakari, there's Soonta, the Rodian who gives Luke her uncle’s lightsaber, Sakhet the Kupohan spy, and the Givin cryptographer/math genius Drusil Bephorin. In a genre where male characters are often the default for these kind of roles, it was nice to see, but makes the regressive fridging of Nakari even more egregious.

Luke and Nakari make a good team fighting brain-sucking monsters and Imperials, but more importantly they have fun together - she encourages him to work on his Force skills, and he successfully moves objects with his mind for the first time (leading to Nakari adorably dub him "a little noddle scooter"). It's a very sweet, if brief, relationship, and a respite from the danger of the mission. They spend the night together (leaving the reader to decide exactly what happened behind closed doors), and share a kiss before splitting up to try and escape bounty hunters. No prizes for guessing what happens to Nakari immediately after she received the Skywalker Kiss of Death.

I assume there were two motivating factors for why Hearne and/or LFL couldn't let Nakari live:

1. If she survived, fans would wonder why she doesn't appear in ESB/subsequent material.

I recall this bandied about on forums back at the time of the book's release, and to that I say - so what? Fans are always going to wonder, and try to paper over the gaps in canon, to make up their own headcanons to explain any any perceived inconsistencies. It's certainly no reason to kill someone off.

It is in fact possible for two young people to have a romance that just fizzles, or doesn’t work out for whatever reason - it should not require great maneuvering or explanation. If Nakari doesn’t show up in the next book in the timeline, what about it? The reader is smart enough to assume she and Luke broke up, decided to just remain friends, whatever. But it seems that the only way for a female character to exit stage left is for her to die, which is bullshit.

And actually, there's no reason why she couldn't have shown up again. ESB and RoTJ cover a month and a few days, respectively, of Luke's life - just because there was no mention of Nakari doesn't mean she didn't exist at that time, whether or not she and Luke were an item. She could have made an appearance in a subsequent novel, or Rebels, or the comics - she could have become a recurring character, showing up when the Rebellion needed her, or - heaven forbid - even have her own comic/book/show! Her existence in Star Wars canon didn't need to begin and end with Luke Skywalker, merely to service his plotline and backstory and abandoning the richness of her own.

No, the only reason Nakari had to die was to facilitate this:

It was a blow to the gut, realizing what that sudden absence meant. I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but I had felt Nakari's life snuffed out through the Force, and into that void where she had shone anger rushed in - anger, and a cold sense of raw power and invincibility...I took a step to join in the hunt but stopped, breathing heavily, unaccountably sweating even though I felt so cold inside and the power of the Force roiled within me... I shook with emotion and power, and none of it felt the way the Force had before...I saw what kind of space it was , a black hole that would always be hungry no matter how much I fed it. I might never feel warm again if I didn't get myself under control.

Luke feels the dark side and is tempted by the boost of power it offers him, but immediately identifies it as dangerous and unnatural. I can understand why Hearne wanted to include this - it is a book of firsts after all: Luke's first solo mission, his first time using telekenisis, and ending with story with his first experience of the dark side makes sense. But it wasn't necessary, which leads to:

2. How to push Luke to touch the dark side without killing someone he has romantic feelings for?

Also, obviously, shite of the bull (or nerf, if you prefer). Even if this brush with the dark side was absolutely necessary for the novel's climax, there's any number of ways it could be achieved. At this point, Luke is fresh from losing important people in his life - Owen and Beru, Ben, and Biggs - lumping another death on top of that a narrative trick for Luke to react not only to losing Nakari, but the others as well. But it's cheap, the first card in the deck, and why not show a bit of imagination? Luke is young and inexperienced enough at this point that any number of things could be the catalyst - the whole book he's struggling with his growing powers, why not try and reach too far in the firefight with the bounty hunters, his anger and frustration with himself in not doing enough trigger the dark side temptation? It would work thematically and doesn't involve a fridging that ultimately has very little payoff.

Because Nakari is killed less than ten pages from the end of the book - afterwards Luke grieves, but ultimately chooses to honour her memory and be grateful for what he learned with her, recommitting to becoming a Jedi. It's all very surface level, and once again a female character's death facilitates a male character's development. Was it so imperative that Luke lost someone he cared about as part of this story? Sure, this was a time of galactic civil war, and it's far from unrealistic that these stories have a high body count, but who to make collateral damage remains an authorial choice, and in this case Nakari Kelen was (a) a female character of color, (b) a love interest of the protagonist - not just of this book, but the entire Original Trilogy.

I don't know to what extent (if any) race had to play in the decision. I'm sure there was a segment of the fandom absolutely livid that Luke Skywalker kissed (and maybe had sex with) a black woman. Was her death LFL hedging its bets, or demonstrative of the general lack of attention/respect they show their characters of colour?

In any case this was a chance to stand out from the old EU and it's fridge full of Luke's dead girlfriends, but instead they chose to introduce and kill off Nakari for the sole purpose of Luke's manpain and character development, and that's gross.

And then there's this:

A grisly yet reliable fact about custom bounty hunter ships is that you can always count on them to have body bags stashed somewhere for the easy transport of their kills. They often have built-in refrigerated storage, too.

NAKARI IS KILLED AND LITERALLY STORED IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS READING.

I really hope this was unintentional on Hearne's part, because yikes. He was halfway there, this book was full of interesting female characters who had agency - Drusil in particular was a delight with her super math and inability to understand human interaction. Nakari was full of life and fun - capable but relatable, showing a different side of the Rebellion and those that suffered under the Empire's rule. Fridging her in her first appearance is considerably more vile, because it reduces her to a footnote of Luke's story, a plot device to Help Him Grow, rather than a springboard to tell more of her own story.

Because Nakari was a compelling character ripe for spinoff potential. I would absolutely have read or watched her continued adventures, juggling missions for her father's Biolabs company and trying to aid the Rebellion, shooting her slug rifle and cracking wise, maybe even finding a way to amplify her mother's song Vader's Many Prosthetic Parts to really stick it to the Empire, or try and free the political prisoners on Kessel.

The old EU was made great by allies and enemies of Our Heroes showing up again to help or hinder them, and/or branching out into their own material. We fell in love with them, and followed their stories even as they diverged from the main saga, eager to read more about their lives.

Nakari Kelen never got that chance. In many ways, she exemplified what Disney Star Wars was to become: an exercise in wasted potential.