#like - she's fully open to yasuke whenever

[aparticularbandit]

I think the scene I'm going to add to Monday's chapter - not the one I kept thinking about over my trip because I cannot remember what it was, but one I've been thinking about for far, far longer - is the Kyoko Kirigiri Is Ace And So Is Virgin Junko Enoshima But They Are Different Flavors conversation.

So that will be. fun.

[prodbyduusei]

Ac Shadows Review:

The Hype:

after begging ubisoft for YEARS!! to give us an Ac game set in japan?? we finally got what we wanted and they didn’t disappoint. the combat?? fire. stealth?? phenomenal. open world?? amazing. character customization?? *chefs kiss*. i have close to 300hrs in the game and most of my time was spent getting lost in the world of shadows. exploring every nook and cranny. fighting any enemy that was in my way, customizing naoe and yasuke. i was so immersed, i didn’t wanna put the controller down.

what i love about shadows:

◦ The Stealth:

the stealth is truly game changing, we finally have the option of not only going crouch?? but prone also. and on top that, when we hide in the shadows, enemies can’t see us. we can throw shurikens or kunai at certain light posts to create more shadows, which in turn gives us more room to sneak up on our enemies. speaking of the enemies, they’re very attentive to what goes on around them. especially when knocking out lights, which reminds me of the splinter cell games. i was a big fan of splinter cell conviction, so the fact they brought in elements from that game, to this one(shadows)is a great addition to an already great game. they even gave us the option to make sneaking around harder. by putting the difficulty to expert, enemies are a lot more aware of their surroundings. which means, that building you’re on top of?? they can see you and will react accordingly. so you can’t just run around pouncing on unsuspecting guards. you need to really think about your next plan of attack. on expert mode mind you. any other difficulty you’re pretty much free to jump on every enemy in your line of sight without much thought.

◦ combat

the combat is really good, but on expert difficulty?? that’s when the combat really shines. on normal mode, your opponents are jus…meh. however once you switch it to expert?? they become extremely aggressive and will even do things they normally dnt do on lower difficulties. i wish ubisoft would’ve implemented chained combat from ac3. that would’ve made the combat even more satisfying. there’s nothin wrong wit shadows combat, it jus needs some oomph. like, naoe’s fighting style for instance, depending on your weapon of choice?? she holds her sword backwards, so after she kills one guy, she throws her sword at another guy and uses, either her kusarigama or tanto to kill the next guy. that right there would make shadows combat much more engaging. i really hope ubisoft implements some type of chained takedown or chained combat.

◦ naoe/yasuke

i love naoe/yasuke. i love how you’re able to switch between the two, it would’ve been cooler if we were able to switch between characters on the fly. sumn similar to gta v. whoever wrote yasuke needs a raise, they could’ve easily put him in, for the sake of “oh he’s black”. no. they actually fleshed out his character, whenever you see or play as him. he lets the player know what he’s thinking. how he’s feeling. but naoe?? revenge, revenge, i want revenge…vengeance. like ight batman we get it. but more on that later.

◦ open world

So as I stated before the open world is pretty coo, the parkour is fire, but it is heavily underutilized in the open world, due to not much tall buildings or areas for you to utilize like in previous titles. the only time the parkour shines?? is when you’re climbing a castle or following those trails that lead to treasure. and you can’t go through woods or climb mountains in this game, unless ubisoft wants you to. it’s like they made a beautiful world, with a beautiful parkour system yet limited us for what exactly?? if that’s the case remove the open world from ac shadows. i really wish they removed the rpg element from this game and allowed us to fully explore the world and reword us for doing so.

you can sometime see ronin walking about, looking for yasuke or naoe, while i dnt mind seeing them out and about. it would be coo to see groups of them searching for you. not just on streets, but in cities, small towns, castles, forts etc etc. i’m not sure what made them decide to make every guard non hostile toward you. in every ac game, every guard hates the sight of you lmao. maybe they didn’t have time, but i hope with further updates or even a major overhaul we’ll get that.

more things i love, but i’ll keep it short, i love the character customization, building your own hideout and the option to engrave perks on your outfit/weapons. i really hope they give us an additional engraving, therefore we could really get crazy wit creating different builds.

ight, so everyone knows what i love about shadows, let’s get into what i dnt love about it.

what i dnt love about ac shadows:

◦ inconsistent stealth

hopefully it doesn’t sound like i’m contradicting myself, but as much as i love the stealth in this game?? there are times when it’s extremely inconsistent. one minute i’m hiding in shadows, getting ready to pounce on a enemy and for some odd reason?? i’m spotted. mind you i jus entered the castle or fort and someone has already spotted me. it dnt even be guards on the ground or in the surrounding area. it be a guard that’s far off somewhere. i even remember fast traveling to a castle one time, before i could get inside?? i’m already spotted. but not from the guards. by a random who again HASN’T EVEN SEEN ME!! it happens way too often and i hope it gets patched soon.

now as i mentioned before, if you put the difficulty for stealth on expert, enemies are more attentive…which means buildings aren’t all that safe to be on. i’m currently playing on normal difficulty. i’m creeping through a fort, taking my time pouncing on unsuspecting enemies. i get on top of a building and somehow…some way, the guy sees me. mind you we’re far away from each other, so how does that even happen. another instance of the stealth being inconsistent, again i’m sneaking through a fort, taking my time pouncing on guards, after i get through killing them?? the guard sees a dead body, but here’s the thing tho, i went into a photo mode—jus to see if it was noticeable and guess what?? YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE HIS BODY!! it’s like even on lower difficulties the enemy Ai will get smarter at random and start pullin bull moves, like seeing a dead body that’s not even in their pov or seeing me from a far away building. they dnt even respond to me whistling at times. they’ll react, make it seem like they’re gonna investigate and jus stop altogether. i feel like ubisoft intended for the stealth to be harder, but instead gave us an option—only for the enemy Ai to still be super smart.

◦ wonky controls

i won’t harp on this for long but the controls in this game is absolutely irritating. i’ve found myself turning the game off more times than i can count, for this reason alone. like there will be times where i wanna jump to the other side of a building, but instead of doing that?? naoe will just come to a complete stop. if not completely stop?? she’ll jus glitch out of the map and now i have to restart the game. because for some reason, naoe can’t jump to said building or go in the direction i want her to go in. what’s even worse, is that there’s no dedicated jump button. in every single ac game there’s a jump button. you know, a button for us to do a lil hop. or a button for us to jump on rooftop ledges or jump in general. nah that’s been completely removed. to make matters worse you can’t even change the controls to your liking. i dnt like the default controls, so i tried changing them to my liking, but in doing so it messes up the way ubisoft wants you to play. why can’t i change a few controls without them interfering wit the original controller input?? huh ubisoft?? why can’t i change sprint from L3 to R2 and the controls work fine afterwards?? give us the option to change the controls without it interfering with the original control input. i know i said i wouldn’t harp on this for long but geez man.

◦ scouts/guided mode

i’m not gonna hold you…this part of the game pissed me off. i played the entirety of shadows with guided mode off, which dnt get me wrong…made my experience much more immersive. however the scout system is horrible. i see the idea but it can be better. in its current form, they’ll tell you “he’s at location A, was in location B, he’s south from location B”. so i’m thinkin ight bet, let me look south of said location. ain’t there…whole time they mean he’s down the fucking street. like ubisoft…ubisoft. if you’re gonna get creative and implement a mode where you have to actually look for your target/targets?? make it simple. all you have to do is this. if my target is in yamashiro and i’m using scouts?? jus do this “target was in yamashiro. he was at the painting school. he’s somewhere in taisha shrine”. boom. simple. instead of sending us on a wild fuckin goose chase, sayin he’s south of so an so. whole time he’s really at this location. again the idea of the scout/guided mode isn’t bad, jus make it better. improve upon it.

◦ kunai assasination

i dnt like the kunai assasination perk. even tho they “fixed” it?? it still doesn’t work most of the time. jus have it be a skill you need to unlock and press r1/rb to throw a kunai. y’all had it right in ac mirage.

◦ the story

okay so i’m finna rip into the story, what some you guys are mainly here for. as much as i love ac shadows?? i absolutely hate the story, now yasuke’s part of the story?? phenomenal. naoe’s?? i jus dnt get it. how do you turn yasuke into a character wit depth, but make naoe a one note, one dimensional character?? i get that ac shadows is about revenge and forgiveness but it could’ve been far better than what we got. especially with TWO playable characters. we never find out what’s in the box, i dnt even think the game tells us who the shinbakufu was. jus 11 people for us to kill and for what?? over a box that they refused to show the player. if they would’ve shown us from the Onyro’s pov?? the first guy you kill?? that would’ve gave us, the player, all the more incentive in getting it back. but no. apparently the true story or ending is hidden behind the “claws of Awaji” dlc. speaking of the ending it left a bad taste in my mouth. again yasuke story ended beautifully. but naoe’s jus ended all of a sudden.

if ubisoft would’ve gotten rid of the non-linearity of shadows?? and gave us a traditional linear story, with an open world?? like red dead 2 or ghost of tsushima?? i believe ac shadows, the story, would’ve been much better. dnt get me wrong i’m extremely thankful they gave us the freedom of tackling the story any way we want. but it was extremely confusing. i remember i started a mission set to kill one of the shinbakufu, only to then start another mission. all because i had guided mode off and was lookin for some tea guy. so by me lookin everywhere for him?? it led me to a different mission, killing a different person. completely throwing me off. ac shadows should’ve had one main antagonist and split the rest for naoe and yasuke to kill. making their worlds intertwine with each other. instead of naoe getting tricked by the main antagonist to kill oda nobunaga, yasuke coming in to prevent the killing blow and by the power of friendship they’re best friends.

the side quests didn’t help the story much either and dnt even get me started on the romance options. what was the point of giving us people to romance?? what was the point of giving us side missions, that weren’t really side missions?? most of them were “kill this amount of bandits. kill this amount of ronin” wit the occasional traditional side quest, but it was alright at best.

◦ naoe/yasuke

as i mentioned before, i really love naoe and yasuke, wit yasuke being my favorite. even though i spent majority of the game playing as naoe. i stated how they made yasuke a deep and interesting character. whereas naoe?? sadly one dimensional and they can easily fix that, hear me out:

i believe ubisoft should do a complete overhaul of ac shadows, jus like how CI Games did with lords of the fallen. make ac shadows linear instead of non linear, bring back story sequences. show us what’s inside the box once the onyro take it from naoe.

yasuke story is about a man forgiving himself for the things he did and also wanting to protect those who can’t protect themselves.

naoe story should be about a woman so fueled by revenge, she loses sight of what’s important to her, after learning she killed junjiro dad, after learning how he hated her, wanted to kill her, but ultimately decided to learn mercy and forgive her?? she breaks the pattern/cycle of revenge and decides to focus on what’s important. which is building a relationship with junjiro, keeping those in which she cannot replace and protect people from the corrupt. which then ultimately ties in her and yasuke. they’ve had things taken away from them, they’ve had bad things happen to them also, but together they realize what truly matters, what it means to be a shinobi/ronin, an assassin/samurai.

instead of using meditation points as a means to give us flashbacks into her story?? have different mission sequences give us flashbacks. during a meditation activity, we find out naoe was kinda troubled after killing someone who was invading her village. so in a mission sequence, after she kills, lets say the horsemen?? it takes her back to when she froze after killing her first person. so in the present time, she’s frozen, panicked—she finally snaps out of it and the mission or story proceeds. you can still have meditation points, but have them serve as a means to teach her stillness, patience, teach her that her trauma is not her fault. boom. not only is naoe a character with depth like yasuke?? the overall story of ac shadows is that much better.

◦ outro/yapping

ac shadows is an amazing game with a lot of potential that can easily be improved upon, once ubisoft let go of the rpg, non-linear gameplay and focus on giving us, the players, a story focused game?? It’ll be that much better. i give ac shadows a solid 9/10. if they ever do a complete overhaul like lords of the fallen did?? i’ll give it a 10/10.

[magioftheseas]

Sonia & Yasuke

Summary: Sonia Nevermind’s FTEs in the SDR2 Protagonist Matsuda Yasuke AU. FUCK YES. A slightly divergent take on the originals.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Language. Brief discussions of cults and kidnapping.

Notes: Sonia was neck and neck with Tanaka for the poll and I was going to do hers soon anyway, so I just went ahead. Sometimes, life just shakes out that way. I really do love Sonia so much. The bias is strongest for Sonia, so I really hope I did her justice. Only the best for our kween. (Btw, the formatting for this couldn’t fully carry through so some stylistic choices on Ao3 are absent here.)

Read this fic among others HERE

Main story is HERE

Commission? Donate?

He supposed he had been in an antsier mood than usual. In one hand, he read his manga. In the other, he played with and twirled around a pen. He’s practiced enough that he doesn’t need to look. It’s just something for his other hand to do. Something that would, ideally, work off some jitters.

He had almost been too worked up to read. Unfortunately, he’s still having a hard time trying to get into the book. He can’t tell if it’s because the story is dragging itself or because he’s just not in the right headspace. What a nuisance.

He catches the pen between his knuckles, tapping the end against the table. A surprised gasp. A round of applause. Matsuda glances over his book to meet the beaming face of a certain princess. Even in a hotel this cafeteria this tacky, she shone like a precious jewel.

What a nuisance. Except—

“So impressive, Matsuda-san!” she squealed. “You truly have fury skillz, yo!”

I guess of all the people here, she’s the most tolerable.

“Impressive, huh,” he mused. “I could probably twirl a scalpel, too.”

“Ooh!” Sonia clasped her hands. “Matsuda-san! Will you perform?!”

“No.” He shook his head. “I’m not going to risk cutting my fingers just to show off. I’ll twirl the pen some more.”

“Oh, I understand...” Quieting, Sonia still watched him twirl with intent eyes. It’s like he’s center stage at an opera house. Sonia hums and her fingers even twitch along. “Matsuda-san, such talented fingers... I truly do applaud you.”

Matsuda flipped the pen, catching it before it fell to the ground. Sonia let out another gasp and clapped some more, giggling.

“Bravo, bravo!”

Jeez. She’s so likable that it’s sickening.

It’s almost like he wouldn’t have a choice in the matter should the two of them become friends.

I guess...there are worse relationships to be forced into. Even if I already have a headache.

Still, the mood couldn’t help but be lightened whenever Sonia laughed. Scary.

--

His fingers were a bit aching, and holding a cold drink alleviated some of the stinging. Sonia, ever the prim and proper young lady with her mouth shut, simply sipped tea from across the table. The picture of elegance. Even in a cafeteria this tacky.

But it’s not like any location short of the azure sky and sapphire ocean could do someone like her justice.

“This island truly is sublime,” Sonia hummed. “The weather is always so serene, and the ocean is as blue as it is endless! Truly! It’s a perfect resort, wouldn’t you say, Matsuda-san?”

“I don’t know if I’d go as far as to say perfect,” he replied. “There’s a little too much fucking walking. I’m not big on sweating.”

Even if big hospitals had fancier equipment, I still hated having to rush back and forth.

“To be more contained can have its benefits,” Sonia agreed good-naturedly. “Still, I must say I am quite happy with what we have.”

Matsuda hummed right back.

Happy...

“Situation could be better,” he said. “Would really fucking love if we weren’t being held hostage by a homicidal fucking bear.”

“Indeed,” Sonia agreed solemnly. “Quite regrettable.”

Matsuda waited for her to continue, but she merely took another elegant sip. Still the picture of calm. Sonia’s eyes do flicker open and it’s then that Matsuda takes notice of the color. They’re a clear, soft green. It’s a unique shade. One he thinks he’s only seen in...

“As long as no murders take place, everything will be alright,” Sonia spoke with conviction. “What happens next...will depend on our own inclinations and choices.”

I shouldn’t compare them too much.

“That’s a reductive way of looking at it,” he said. “Even if we have the resolve, I don’t doubt that our hands are going to be forced.”

Sonia slammed her cup onto the table. It cracked just the slightest bit.

“Then, we should cooperate with one another so that we can return home as quickly as we can,” she said sunnily. “Matsuda-san, I trust you to tell me any ideas you may come up with. I shall do what I can.”

“Well...” Matsuda directed his stare towards one of the security cameras. “We’d first have to come up with something to do about those.”

“If we simply shattered them, we would get punished severely,” Sonia recalled, lamenting as she did. “We would have to act... And perhaps...”

She dropped into lower mumbles that Matsuda couldn’t make out. Perhaps out of precaution, in case they were being recorded. Matsuda watches her sink deeper and deeper into thought.

Even she can’t be serene and optimistic all the time. She’s still managing better than anyone else here.

“Do you understand, Matsuda-san?” she asked, tone serious. “Or must I repeat myself?”

“If you did, it’d have to be a little louder, so it’d be better if you could write it down discretely and pass it to me later,” he said, sighing. “It’s a little too risky discussing anything out in the open.”

Sonia clapped with glee.

“A handsome remark! This is why I know I can rely on your intelligence and wit, Matsuda-san.” She gave a few nods of approval. “It might be better for our moral to chat amiably for now.” With a dazzling smile, she then inquired, “Is there anything you’d like to ask of me?”

Matsuda blinked at her.

“Not really.” I am curious about one thing. Given the circumstances, it’s best to hold off on that. “What about you?”

“There is something! That I AM quite curious about!” Sonia exclaimed, suddenly excited. “Who has captured your heart? And who do you plan to settle on?!”

Matsuda stared.

“...?”

His head tilted in confusion, so Sonia went on to explain.

“This situation—it is similar to The Summer Story of Seven Men and Seven Women, wouldn’t you say?! The standard practice, then, is to start wavering and swapping partners!”

“The...J-drama?” he asked, no less confused but Sonia was more incited regardless.

“No just the J-drama, the legendary J-drama! The original trendsetter! Starting with an upbeat tone... Before shifting to surprisingly serious!” she swooned. “I couldn’t believe my eyes, and yet I couldn’t look away! Momoko’s feelings...! Wow, so intense!”

“Uh-huh...” Matsuda’s eyes rolled back. “Well... I’m not sleeping with anyone on this stupid fucking island, so it’s not going to be that similar. That, and there are more guys here than girls to begin with...”

“That is true!” Sonia gasped. “Someone will have to be unlucky! I wonder... Who it will be...?”

Didn’t I just say I wasn’t going to...? Not to mention some of the guys flat-out wouldn’t be interested. Although I don’t think that’ll keep someone from being unlucky, huh...

It looked like he wouldn’t get in another word in edgewise.

This still isn’t going to fix the declining birthrate.

At least Sonia seemed to be having a hella time theorizing. Matsuda just let her...do that.

--

“I managed to find a couple of books on Novoselic,” he said, setting the stack of books on the table before a sparkly-eyed Sonia. “Since we don’t have the internet, this was the best I could scrounge up and even then I don’t know if they’re all that accurate.”

“Oh, Matsuda-san, I would have told you anything you needed to know!” She does take one of the books. “That said, I recognize this author. You can trust them! Oh, but this one...” She takes another, frowning. “If I recall... No. You should not trust this one at all. In fact, I would burn every copy of this book.”

“I could kind of tell from the tone,” Matsuda hummed, setting it apart and pushing it far away. Sonia’s frown was still a deep mar on her face. “So, these books are accurate?”

“As I have said, Matsuda-san, I do not mind telling you about my country,” she said, smiling again. “Or! Is this courting? I’m afraid I will have to sadly decline, much as this feels like something out of a J-drama...”

She says while looking disappointed in herself...

“It’s more that I thought you should know what other people are writing about your country,” he said. He paused. “Ah, I guess that was pretty presumptuous of me.”

“Not at all!” Sonia shook her head. “Awareness and control of the media are essential! Not to mention you have informed me of quite the pressed issue! I will have to take care of it when I return...is what a responsible, attentive ruler would say.” She sighed. “Sadly, I will have to inform others and hope for the best.”

She has said in the past that she’s more of a figurehead than a leader.

“That’s a part of being young,” he remarked. “Don’t let it get you down too much. Just prepare for the future to the best of your ability.”

Sonia does giggle at that.

“Matsuda-san... Sometimes, you remind me of the male lead in a J-drama.”

“No comment.”

She laughs again. “In my humblest opinion, the best J-dramas are the ones aimed at women between the ages of 20 to 34. Just before Japan’s economic bubble burst! You would not believe how many times I have seen I Will Arrest Your Eyes! Why, when I first arrived in Japan, the first thing I did was run across the Spain-zaka!”

As fascinating as that all is, what gets my attention is...

“Hold it. Were you calling me mature or were you suggesting that I speak like an old man?”

“You certainly do have a worldly weariness to you, Matsuda-san,” Sonia went on to sigh. “Broody and broken down by life... While it would be attractive on the screen, it is worrisome and exhausting in person.” She perked right back up. “But have no fear! For a fairly dreamy maniac will someday come into your life! And the two of you can partake in the ritual entrapped within the blizzard!”

“I hate the cold,” is Matsuda’s only reply to whatever the fuck all of that was.

“Then when will you cuddle under a blanket in the nude?!” Sonia gasped, aghast. “Will you do so at a different temperature?! Is the blizzard not necessary after all?!”

“First off, you’re referring to a cliché rather than a ritual,” Matsuda said, waving his hand. “Shouldn’t the fact that it was happening during a damn blizzard tipped you off? Not every couple is going to go to the fucking mountains.”

“So...” Sonia quieted. “It is not like the Makango?”

The Makango? Matsuda remembered. Ah, the Makango.

“We don’t have anything like that as far as I’m aware,” he said. “Mind you, I’m...not aware of much...”

Thinking about this gives me a headache. Actually, it really, really fucking hurts right now.

“I see...” Sonia pursed her lips. “So peculiar. Oh!” She blinked, realizing. “Matsuda-san, you look pale.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles, rubbing his forehead with a wince. “I think... I’m gonna check out.”

“You should check out what’s wrong with you!” she exclaimed. “Do better for yourself, Matsuda-san!”

“...right.”

On that note, there wasn’t anything else to do but stumble out.

--

It’s another calm day at the library. Sonia, however, snaps up immediately when Matsuda walks inside. It’s scary how alert the princess is, but that was probably a good thing considering her situation. Matsuda sighed, waving and taking in how she lit up and eagerly saluted him.

He also takes notice of the book that Sonia had been reading. The cover—looks quite gruesome.

“How are you feeling?” Sonia asked kindly. “You are not in pain, yes? Matsuda-san?”

“I’m doing fine,” he said, stretching as he makes his way over. “I’ve been dealing with headache after headache since I got here, so I’ve gotten used to them.”

“I see,” Sonia murmured, downcast and sympathetic. “I will trust you to your own mechanics.”

“Devices,” Matsuda corrected without thinking as he seated himself. “Anyway, I’ll be reading. Don’t mind me.”

He does pull out a manga he brought with him—the library was just a better environment for reading than the cafeteria hence him making the trip. He cracks it open, but he doesn’t get very long to enjoy it. He gets maybe five minutes before there’s a nudge at his side.

He ignores it, but Sonia elbows him with enough force that he nearly yelps. With a now throbbing side, his gaze drops to see a folded-up piece of paper tucked between Sonia’s delicate fingers. Her nails are perfectly manicured yet polished to give off the illusion of natural beauty.

Hm.

He takes the paper, unfolding it and—

What do you know about the occult?

Sonia is feigning innocence. She’s scarily good at it. If not for the flicker of her intense stare to his, he wouldn’t have suspected a thing. That...and his side still...stings. Seriously the princess had a bony fucking elbow.

“Princess. What the hell is this?”

“Shush!” she ordered and he dutifully shut his mouth without a second thought. Sonia looked around discretely, lowering her voice as she leaned in to whisper into his ear. “Any information you have on cults would also be appreciated, Matsuda-san.”

No, seriously, what the fuck?

He does try to make sense of it. If Sonia felt the need to convey these questions inconspicuously, then, maybe—?

He takes out a pen and writes down his response. He hands it under the table for Sonia to read.

Do you think our kidnappers are part of a cult?

“Oh!” Sonia gasped. “I never thought of that! What a fascinating theory!”

Guuuuuuess not.

“If it just interests you, you don’t have to be so fucking secretive,” he griped. “Just ask me outright like a normal fucking person.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she apologized quickly. “I truly didn’t think the way I was conducting myself was...regal. They pass notes like so in the dramas. Is that not normal behavior, Matsuda-san?”

Oh.

“I...no, actually...” Matsuda shrugged helplessly. “I...guess that is in fact a way high schoolers communicate sometimes...”

I haven’t gone to a normal high school...or a normal middle school for that matter.

“It is quite—unheard of if not prohibited for a princess to have such interests,” Sonia sighed. “But even if it is forbidden, my heart still longs for more when it comes to the subject of Freemasonry! Oh, but it’s purely academic!” She looks quite serious as she insists, “I could never dream of conspiring against the government.”

“A lot of people do find that stuff interesting,” Matsuda said. Sonia lit up only to deflate when he added, “I don’t think it’s that deep.”

“No?” Her head tilted. “You think it...kiddy?”

“In a way,” he admitted. “Cultism comes about through societal failings and instability. Political turmoil, lack of education, paranoia, peer pressure... People long for a sense of community by nature and they’re drawn to a charismatic figure who knows how to prey on the insecure and vulnerable. People just want someone else to tell them what to do, what to think, like fucking children and obviously, obviously, they get taken advantage of by the worst fucking types...”

Sonia’s eyes were wide.

“Oh! Matsuda-san, have you been in a cult before?!”

Matsuda immediately jolted. For some reason, he broke into a sweat. For another, his head hurt so much that he wanted to shut down then and there.

“...Matsuda-san?”

He needed to grip his hand and will them to stop shaking.

“...I... No.” He shook his head firmly, digging his nails into his arm, would’ve raked them through the flesh if not for the sleeve of his coat. “It’s, uh, just something I read one time.”

“You are looking quite pale,” Sonia remarked worriedly. “I apologize, Matsuda-san. I—think we should drop the subject for now. I do not wish to cause you untoward pain any longer.”

She draws back from him as if he’s too fragile to be near. It’s seriously annoying, especially when not only does Sonia look stricken with guilt, she also looks lonely.

“I...” He swallowed. “While I don’t think much of it, I do think it’s important to understand. It isn’t productive to just...dismiss it wholesale.”

Sonia does perk up.

“I agree,” she says, albeit tentative as she does. “To dismiss a different sense of values due to ignorance is foolish. Such ignorance leads to bloodshed. And—it is important for a member of the royal to expand one’s knowledge.”

He nods.

“I just...” He wants to bite his tongue clean off. “I guess it’s a sore subject for me...”

But w̴̟̹̠͐̿̋ḧ̶̟́y̷̘͓͛?

“I understand.” Sonia nodded back. “I apologize.”

“It’s fine,” he said. “Just...do what you can to guide your people right.”

With that, he gets up.

“Sorry,” he said, acting on autopilot now. “I need to go.”

He doesn’t look back.

--

“Oh, Matsuda-san!”

As usual, Sonia looked delighted to see him.

“What a pleasant surprise!” she exclaimed, every word dripping with sincerity. “Come, come! Sit with me! There is much I wish to discuss with you!”

“Yeah?” The closer he comes, the more she can see her stack of books. Quite a few of them have been shoved away, but the other titles—there actually seemed to be a couple of romance novels and recognizable manga. “What about...?”

Those are titles that have been adapted into TV dramas.

“The friendship between men and women as depicted in Turn On The Heart,” she explained. “If you do not know that title, then will a different J-drama suffice? Perhaps one of these?”

She offers one of the manga. Her intentions are clear, and he truly appreciates the gesture—but he’s read that title. It was one of the worst fucking things he ever skipped through. The love interest in it was just scary. And he was a spoiled rich brat. Urgh.

But the princess really isn’t that bad. She’s really trying to get along with me. Not a lot of people have done that unless they wanted in my pants or something.

He’s not so fucking full of himself that he’d assumed a goddamn princess would be interested. That, and he’s conscientious of that shit to begin with. Sonia was just friendly, not flirty.

“I do mostly read manga,” he said. “I guess I could recommend a title or two that’s been adapted?”

I haven’t watched a lot of dramas actually. I’ve had them going on in the background, but that’s...

His sharp eyes do notice the titles that Sonia had pushed away. They were various studies on cults throughout history. And an anthology on ghost stories.

“Matsuda-san.” When Sonia spoke, her tone was low. She stood up and bowed, making him jump. “I wish to sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart! If I could, I’d throw myself at your feet! Alas, it’s improper for a princess...! I’m so fucking sorry!”

“Wow.” He didn’t even know how to respond. “If this is about what happened last time, it’s fine. It’s water under the bridge. I...”

I actually—don’t remember what happened. I ended up taking a lot more pills than I should’ve.

“Still!” Sonia exclaimed, shaking her head. “I asked you a very inappropriate question! It was quite uncouth! Thus—I wish to make out with you for it!”

“You don’t have to do that,” he said, meaning it figuratively and literally. “It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?!” Sonia’s frown deepened. “I... Despite my status, here I would like to be equals, Matsuda-san. Is that not possible?”

Equals, huh.

“When I came to Japan, I thought I could be considered a normal girl,” she said, and it sounded like a confession. “Perhaps...that had been...immature of me.”

It is immature, Matsuda agreed with as he bit his tongue. It’s beyond fucking immature. Even if you learn the language and go along with trends, you live in a fucking castle, Sonia. That’s not normal at all. Normal people are one bad fucking month away from losing everything they care about. It’ll take more than a damn month for a monarchy to topple. Especially one that’s absolute.

“If you insist so much, can I ask you a question?” He studied the way she perked up. How annoyingly eager she was to hear it. And how he—“It’s not going to be a pleasant one.”

“As long as it is about my personal inclinations or government secrets, I am willing to speak about it,” she told him, smiling sweetly.

She really was so painfully sweet sometimes.

Ä̷̮̖͇́̅̅͝ ̷̬̎̽c̴̨̛̥̳̙̔̈̊ͅo̵͕̤͠ṃ̵̻̒ͅp̸̭͕̽͝l̸͍͈͎̀è̶̛̝̫̒͗͝t̸̗͒̂̐e̴̛̳͔̾͐ ̵̧̼̐ô̸̞͇̖͋̽̀́ͅp̵͉̘͗̅̍͝p̴̖̙͑̊̒̆o̸̧͙̹̘̠͂s̴͈̀̕ị̶͇̅͛͝t̶͉͊e̴̲͈̩̫͠ ̴͔̺͔̙͗́̓̓̋f̶̺͂̚͘r̴̛̘̾͝o̶͍̭̯̖͐̐̓͛m̶̳͑̋—̷̱̘̩͙͓̇͒̏̋̉

“This isn’t your first time being kidnapped.”

It hadn’t been a question, despite himself. But a statement. A statement that drained all that sweetness from Sonia’s face, leaving behind calm stoicism. She looks so at ease and unshakeable that Matsuda could draw several conclusions if he wanted to.

But it seems tacky to make assumptions about what were traumatic experiences, regardless of those involved.

“I’ve read up on your country and there were reports of the royal family being abducted by insurgents,” he said, keeping his voice level. “It hadn’t mentioned those affected by name...but you were among them, weren’t you?”

“Yes,” Sonia spoke as if she were untouchable. “I was.”

“No wonder you’re so damn calm about all this,” Matsuda went to remark. “It’s not your first time. And...quite fucking frankly, this is literally the Bahamas of hostage situations.”

“Haha, I do not think we are in the Bahamas, Matsuda-san,” she replied, casual—but still with that flaring distance. “I believe we are in the middle of the Pacific, rather.”

...hah.

“That’s not important,” he snapped. “What was important was... Clearing the air, so to speak.”

“I see.” Sonia agreed with him like he’d kill her if she didn’t. “Then, have I been to your satisfaction, Matsuda-san?”

Matsuda stared at her. He reached out, and she didn’t even flinch. Not even when he snapped his fingers in front of her. Impressive, honestly.

She’s completely shut down.

“Do you want to talk about dramas? I kind of enjoyed Hana-Kimi.”

Sonia blinked, and it was like nothing happened at all. Especially with how she went back to smiling as she always did, dazzlingly open and amicable.

“I haven’t heard of it! Please tell me all about it!”

“If I remember correctly there were like, four adaptations, the first Taiwanese and the most recent a K-drama, actually, so...”

The two of them chat lightly like this for a while. Like a normal pair of high schoolers.

--

“Greetings, Matsuda-san! I have read the illustrious Hana-Kimi! And! I enjoyed it!”

“Good to hear...”

“There is much I wish to discuss about it!” Sonia exclaimed, but there was something strange. Her smile was so wide it looked strained. She was wearing more makeup than usual, especially on her cheeks and around the eyes. “I would also like to hear more recommendations, so...”

“Rough night?” Matsuda asked, and Sonia shut her mouth.

For a second, Sonia looked lost before she gave a weak laugh.

“Ahaha, I should’ve known that Matsuda-san would not be fooled. You’re quite sharp, after all. It’s one of the reasons I admire you.”

“Did you want me to pretend nothing was wrong?” Matsuda huffed. “I’d rather you not have to force yourself around me. With how shitty my attitude is, I’d be a hypocrite if I expected everyone on their best behavior....especially in this situation.”

“Truth be told, I do not mind it,” Sonia murmured. “In a way... I find it refreshing. Around Matsuda-san, I can just scream at the top of my lungs—Jesus Fucking Christ Bastard Of A Fuckity Fuck Bitch! And you wouldn’t bat a tongue-lash!” She took a deep breath. “That said...if we are to discuss further. I’d prefer we do so in my cottage.”

“Fine by me,” was Matsuda’s immediate response. That was all there was to it.

Without another word, he followed Sonia to her cottage. She led him inside, and the interior was so fancy that he felt like he’d be stoned if he didn’t remove his shoes right away.

Polished floors, elegant rugs, ivory silk sheets, and plush furniture—even a damn chandelier hanging about them... It at least looked like the inside of a high-end hotel suite. Even the way plants were arranged from the ones hanging from the wall to the potted plant in the corner and the vase on the table by a wide-screen television felt so prestigious and artful.

“Would you like a seat?” Sonia asked, indicating a loveseat that definitely costed more than he could get selling his ass on the street for a week. He sits down on it anyway. It’s annoying supple, and he can’t help but relax. Sonia is giggling at him, “I apologize for any messes. I am still getting a handle on cleaning as it were. And the shower.”

The rug had been a little damp under his feet. She must’ve accidentally flooded the floor. He should probably help her wash it so that it didn’t contract mold, but... There were more pressing matters.

Sonia clearly wanted to speak to him, but she was just standing there. Fidgeting and wavering.

“Nightmare?” he guessed. “Homesickness?”

“Both,” Sonia replied, chuckling a little. “As well as—that conversation we had earlier...weighing on my mind...”

Matsuda clicked his tongue but said nothing. Gave Sonia the time to take a deep breath.

“Back then, I was not permitted to show fear for my people’s sakes,” she recounted. “I was, after all, a princess before a person. But here... I do not know what I should do. Must I wait in silence for rescue? Shall I allow myself to scream and cry?” She was fidgeting. No, she was trying to distract herself from how badly her hands were shaking. “Say, Matsuda-san... You are...quite intelligent. And you never—you do not sweet talk. Tell me...what I should do.”

Matsuda stared at her. She kept her head bowed.

“Fuck if I know.” Matsuda sighed loudly. “Like holy shit, why you think I’ll know what to do? That’s illogical as fuck. You’re just being a coward by forcing someone else to make the decisions, princess.”

“I am aware,” she whispered.

“I’m not Togami,” he said. “I’m not going to seize control and tell everyone that it’s going to be fine. I’m...”

...not going to lie about that shit.

“I thought not.” Sonia laughs again. It’s almost an ugly sound. Scratchy and unbalanced, completely unbefitting and yet—perfect in this situation. “Matsuda-san, you may have the signals of a legendary hero... But, in reality, your scowling face is too remarkable.”

...

...

...

...

...

...

What the fuck did that even mean?

“The legendary hero of legend,” Sonia reiterated with the utmost seriousness. “The only fault with that—is your face, Matsuda-san! It’s not just remarkable, it’s beautiful!”

What the FUCK is she talking about?

“I would still like to take you with me to my kingdom, once we escape from here,” Sonia went on. “Even if you are not a destined one, you would make for a wonderful advisor and companion. I wish to continue our conversations—and even if it is cowardly, I also wish to look towards you in times of need.”

What the fuck is going on?!

“I...” He’s confused. He’s so hopelessly confused. And yet... And yet... “I heard the medical practice in your country is nothing to sneeze at...so I can’t deny being interested.”

“Splendid! Then—let us continue working together, Matsuda-san!” Sonia clapped her hands. Another dazzling smile, an even more radiant laugh. Just like that, she was back at peak princess. “Ho, ho, hey!”

“Hey, hey, ho...”

Despite that, there’s a lot unsaid. We haven’t really talked, either. We’re just pushing on with forced optimism, filling our heads with empty reassurances and promises in the hope that it’ll be enough to carry us through.

It could very well be. In a situation like this, keeping ahold of one’s morale was pretty fucking prudent. Even if he and Sonia knew shit all about how to lead, they had no choice but to keep stumbling and scrambling. Hoping for the best.

Sometimes... That’s all we really need.