#man what are they putting in these cookies…

[dear-ao3]

??? saph what happened on sky sports?? i’m ALWAYS missing out on the nico rosberg lore drops smh

SO

during the insanely long rain delay in spa into martin brundle and croftys commentary box wanders one (1) nico rosberg (he was aparently there commentating at sky italy this race and i guess got bored during the delay and looked for other people to bother? idk they never really addressed Why he was there). and he sasses them a little and says some classically nico rosberg things BUT THEN they start talking about the departure of horner because you know that was a Thing that Happened Recently and nico says, i shit you not:

nico: "do we know if zak brown and toto wolff are also missing christian horner?"

and i am sitting on my couch and suddenly my jaw drops to the floor because Nico Rosberg has brought up a Rivalry to none other than David Croft Live On Air. the Same David Croft who said the infamous "everything but a lover" line. and this is only ending in One Way.

so crofty speaks.

crofty: "i think they probably are. because every rivalry needs two parts to it and lets face it. christian and toto were head to head rivals for many years and zak this year, last year, has kind of replaced toto in the rivalry....your yin needs a yang nico i would say on that one. so in most respects i think they probably are."

and i am still sitting with my mouth hanging open because now it is only a matter of Time before lewis gets mentioned.

nico: "its like senna and prost."

YOU MEAN THE OTHER INFAMOUS RIVALRY OTHER THAN THE ONE THAT YOU WERE A PART OF, NICO???? THIS IS GETTING INTO DANGEROUS TERRITORY

nico: "who suddenly when prost retired senna went damn, i hate that guy but i actually want him to be here. and they became best friends afterwards."

and didnt....prost....tell you nico that you need to talk it out with lewis......wasnt this a conversation that was had.........And Also Youre Still Saying All Of This To David Croft, King Brocedes Pot Stirrer. and remember the last time nico was in the commentary box, crofty made fun of him for eating cauliflower for breakfast. so. anything was possible here.

crofty: "your world championship win in 2016."

me, sitting on the very edge of my seat, mouth open, eyes wide

crofty: "would you look back on that so fondly now if it hadn't been lewis hamilton that you had beaten? your teammate? and your main rival at the time?" nico, very softly and realizing he has backed himself into a corner: "no of course not....that was a big part of it for sure and uh you are right in that sense. " crofty: "so do you miss lewis now"

DAVID CROFT. YOU INSANE MAN, i think as there is a slight pause.

nico *laughing and stuttering incoherently like he somehow didnt expect this* crofty: "well you just asked the question!" nico: "im okay. im okay."

which, was not the question. at all.

but thankfully david croft, as i said earlier, is an insane man and also a shit stirrer and were in the middle of a rain delay so i can only imagine that that is what possessed him to say this:

crofty: "are you still next door neighbors?"

very long pause. i begin to wonder and not for the first time if david croft is writing brocedes fanfic himself.

nico, sounding like he has been caught taking cookies out of a cookie jar: "we...we uh still live in the same building yeah.....we catch up from time to time. but we have a very nice, uh, neutral relationship."

???????? what in the Hell is that supposed to mean?????????

which was a question that martin brundle aparently also had because:

martin, laughing: "a very nice neutral relationship??" nico: "um, uh, moving on...?"

but rest assured, shit stirrer david croft was not done yet. he needed to keep his viewers entertained as we were nearly an hour into a rain delay where the only thing keeping people watching were the glamor shots of charles leclerc and the red bull garage drinking tea.

crofty: "has he still got your safe? was it....wasnt it when you first moved in you put your safe in his apartment?"

there is an old story that i think it was lewis had nicos watch for awhile because he had his safe box or something and nico somehow managed to get it back after he won the championship, but i have no source for that story so you will just have to take my word for it.

nico: "no. other way around. he put his safe in our apartment." crofty: "yeah. you looked after it for a bit." nico: "yeah yeah. i was considering whether i should kind of forget where i had put it when he next asked for it but then i did give it back."

which. wild things to admit to live on air.

then! in case you were worried that crofty didnt have anything else. martin jumped in.

martin: "when i was driving for mclaren and you two kids, you were karting, you came in and terrorized the motorhome. you were so annoying as kids you and lewis, running around the place. causing havoc. ive always wanted to tell you that actually." crofty, laughing maniacally: "and there you were trying to have nice quiet moment." martin, evilly: "well me and nico have a neutral relationship." crofty: *laughing even harder* martin: "as of now anyway." nico, somehow missing the point entirely but also sounding very excited to recount this story: "the worst was the hotel rooms we left behind."

me and the rest of the world watching this probably sitting in the exact same place of shock wondering how theyre still talking about this and also wondering what other insane lore nico is about to drop because we Know that he and lewis shared hotels when they were karting and left them a disaster and also one time wrestled under a sink.

nico: "cause we shared a hotel room for two years. and we would have, like, wrestling, wrestling competitions *laughs* in the hotel rooms. they would not look good...they would not be on their best afterwards." crofty: "bit of rock and roll on tour *pauses* sometimes i love a rain delay. because you get the sort of information you never actually expected to get when you came into work that day. more of this to come."

which, first of all, understatement of the year thank you crofty. second What The Holy Ever Loving Fuck. and third: THEY STILL WERENT DONE

some five minutes later martin i think it was interrupts and is like oh look we've been sent a photo! and the photo in question was. this:

and nico says:

nico: "i just got that yesterday." crofty, in slight disbelief probably that his diabolical brocedes plan is working: "someone just sent you that?" nico, very excited to tell the story: "we were always on holiday together. you know, we were best friends at the time. but here was us actually at my parents house quadding. flat out quadding. always with an engine, full speed on everything. and lewis was. Proper Nuts. like he was nuts. completely" crofty, spurring him on: "really?" *laughing* nico: "i remember once we were jet skiing together i was on the back of him on the same jet ski. oh my god, i made, i had such a big shunt. i flew off in the biggest way. and then we went with two stand up jet skis, and i was watching him go off this giant wave from the ferry and he did not lift. he was- i'd never seen someone go so high airborne, and then he came crashing down and he knocked open his chin when he smacked down onto the jet ski as he landed. *laughs* just completely!" crofty: "oh!" nico, gleefully: "so hes lying there like half unconscious and i had to go and like check that hes okay, his chin was cut open. complete nut case." crofty: "honestly you two, it a wonder you ever made it to formula one and settled down and concentrated."

and then crofty started immediately talking about the race restart leaving all of us viewers with A Whole Lot Of Questions. because. what the hell. what had possessed nico rosberg other than the usual insanity.

then nico also revealed that he has recurring nightmares still about not getting into the car in time for race starts in f1. and then he was back off to the sky italy box:

crofty: "nico rosberg we must let you go. thank you for coming to join us, this has been a fascinating hour, we've gone into territories i never thought we would. before you go though, little prediction ahead of the race. who do you think now, in these conditions, is looking the best placed?"

understatement of the year, thank you crofty.

nico: "umm...lando norris. he has the best car, hes on a high mentally also coming off the win in silverstone, great qualifying yesterday so, uh, the favorite is 100% lando norris but he has some amazing wet weather drivers right behind him. so anything can happen. thank you very much it was a pleasure. i am off to speak some italian now."

which of course cursed lando because as we all know, anyone who nico says is going to do well (aside from lewis) get somehow utterly fucked over in a race because he just has that power. and lando of course got passed by oscar on the opening lap then locked up and went off three times in the late stages so he couldnt close the gap enough to get oscar back. and lewis, who started form the pit lane ended up p7. nico rosberg strikes again.

[grignardsreagent]

what happens when your husband comes home from work after a long day?───────────────────────────────────────────

pairing: toji x f!reader  content: non-curse au, fluff, smut! by the end- piv sex, breeding, petnames, food play, kitchen sex, tummy bulge, they're both incessantly in love w one another. mdni!!

⭑ ๋꒷꒦︶꒦︶꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒦꒷ ๋⭑

being married to toji was one of the best decisions you ever made. he was everything you could ever wish for — may it be making you feel loved, holding onto every word that left your mouth like it was a lifeline, or working a little extra some days so that he could take a leave whenever you guys wanted to spend time together. 

life before you wasn’t any less 'comfortable' in its materialistic aspect, but with you came a reason to come back home; his house didn’t feel like an overpriced shelter, it felt like home now. something he always dreamt of having– the comfort, the smell of freshly cooked stew, the cookies you made that he loved. 

he felt like living was worth it after you. it wasn’t just sweat and toil, sleep and repeat anymore. it was filled with love and you, now. he wouldn’t have it any other way, and you felt the same– you loved the man to the ends of the world, ensuring that he felt it the same way he made you feel special. 

sometimes, you would come home early from work just to make his favourite for dinner. the other times, he slipped in early so you came back to a perfectly spotless house (you’d lowkey banished him from the kitchen when he somehow managed to set a fire while boiling water, so cooking was off the table for him). 

today was no different; you kissed him goodbye in the morning when he left for work. he didn’t know you had a leave today, but you wanted to surprise him, so you decided to lie to him and say that you’d punch in a bit late for work. when he left, you took it upon yourself to cook his favourite food. tweaking another one of your cookie recipes to make it a little different, a little better than the last time. you weren’t a michelin chef and sometimes the beetroot that you thought would go with the pasta didn’t exactly turn out so well– but he was there, there to make you feel okay and not disappointed in yourself, there to eat it all with you appreciating that you took out the time and energy to put in effort to make something different for the two of you. he was always there. even when hospital work got hectic and all you wondered was if being a doctor was even worth it, if saving lives was genuinely a goal or a security stunt, he was there to hold onto you, whispering sweet things in your ear while his fingers drew soft circles on your tummy. 

you’d told him about your interest in neuroscience and baking once, and ever since then, he’d do little things to encourage you to do something that interested you. always supportive of any idea that you talked about on the dinner table, or while dozing off on his chest. he truly appreciated you. and this was your way of showing it to him, that you did feel him making you special, that you appreciated him and his presence in your life just as much as he did. 

done with the dinner and cookies a bit earlier than expected, you decided to take a nice long shower and picked out your pink lacy moomoo that never failed to make you feel pretty and cozy. 

as you were turning the shower off, you heard noises from outside the bathroom– scared, you quickly put on your moomoo and peeked out like you were in a spy movie, just to see toji right outside, “took you long enough, ma,”

you gasped, “what the heck? don’t scare me like that, what if i was indecent?? when did you even come?”

he chuckled, still waiting for you to fully come out, “i’ve seen it all, since when did we start worrying about decency, doll? reached home a few minutes ago,” 

stepping out of the door with wet hair and all, you hugged him, “missed you, baby, how was work?” 

soon his arms wrapped around your form, picking you up, your legs wrapped around his torso as he said, “same old,” nuzzling in your neck while his arms held you tight in place, “missed you too, ma, why didn’t you tell me you had no work today?” 

“wanted to surprise you, take me to the kitchen, pretty please,” you mumbled while clinging onto him, breathing in his scent, and god, did you feel full already. he was so big, so warm, making you feel so jittery even after 4 years of marriage. it never felt monotonous with him, always something different, and you lived for it. 

kissing up his shoulder and neck, you bit his ear as soon as he planted you on the kitchen counter, earning an eyebrow raise from him, “careful, ma, work was stressful today, don’t wanna start something ya can’t finish.” 

you looked at him with mischief swirling in your eyes, “i always finish,” you pecked him on the cheek before changing the subject, wrapping your legs tighter around him, pulling him closer, just to give him a once over of your day, smiling lightly, “i stayed home, lounged a little, made your favourite and even tweaked out the cookie recipe a little, wanna try?”

and god, he looked at you with such adoration, your heart burst. “'course, i wanna,”

picking a cookie up from the cooling tray beside you, you offered it to him, just for him to take a bite right from your hand, and - pure. bliss. he looked like he just got the sloppiest, nastiest head of his life, eyes rolling back as if he couldn’t face the world after having one singular bite. he looked so damn sated and fucking criminally hot even while munching on a cookie like a caveman, it felt unfair.

opening his eyes, he looked at your giddy expression, and without wasting a second, he tilted your chin up with his hand and landed his lips on yours catching you in the most tantalizing kiss, all teeth and tongue. you could taste the chocolate and the cookie on his tongue. he wasn’t kissing you, this was emotional healing, a mental awakening, a i-love-you-so-insanely-much-thank-you-for-making-life-so-much-better-and-for-the-most-earthshattering-cookiegasm-ive-ever-had. “kiss the chef”? fuck no. he was devouring the chef, one hand fixed on your waist, pulling you closer than ever, while the other had gone from gently tilting your chin to your neck, firmly wrapping his fingers around it while he kissed you like his life depended on it. you couldn’t help but whimper when he finally opened his eyes to look at you as he bit and pulled your bottom lip a little. 

face flushed. lips swollen. eyes blown.

finally able to catch your breath, you grinned, “i’m taking that you liked the cookies, babe.” 

not letting him answer though, you pulled him down by his loosened tie, almost kissing him but deflecting just when he was about to go in for it. you did it again, then again, giggling every time he looked at you like you were personally wronging him, depriving him of something so important. and he could only grumble, well, not realistically, because you both knew that if he wanted to, he could make you stop with your antiques and kiss the living hell out of you again, but he liked indulging you, playing with you, hearing you giggle. 

“ma, you pull away again, and i’m not gonna be sweet bout this anymore,” he huffed while his tie was still in your hands, pulling him down to your face level, “yeah? what’ll you do, baby?” 

and with that, his eyes caught sight of the freshly made chocolate glaze on the counter, right behind you. 

he brought the bowl a bit closer, dipped two of his fingers in it, gathering an ample amount on them and bringing the fingers to his mouth, licking them filthily, eyes on you, while you stared at him with parted lips, thighs clenching, the grip on his tie loosening a little. 

and just as toji felt your grip loosen, his hand on your waist brought you closer. the remnant of the chocolate and saliva on his fingers now dangerously close to your mouth, tempting you to suck, and so, without a singular thought, you did. 

you wrapped your mouth around his fingers, looking up at him while sucking on them so utterly determined, toji’s gaze was transfixed on you and the way you sucked his digits clean while looking at him like he was some sorta candy. 

he muttered a low fuck before gently latching his fingers in the space below your tongue to pull you in closer for another awfully breathless kiss. 

and before you knew it, you were left in just your moomoo, panties on top of the pile of toji’s clothes who insisted on keeping your moomoo on while fucking you on the counter itself, saying something along the lines that you look like his pretty doll in the moomoo. he was kissing your neck, hands roaming all around your body, feeling you up, groping you as he pleased while whispering filthy praises like, “you wanted to get fucked like this, baby?”, “you plan this? first, make me damn near cum with your cookies, and now with this wreck of a pussy?”, “aren’t you my good little cumdoll, baby?” 

he was so utterly out of it, tugging at the front knot of your moomoo, making your tits pop out, “fu-fuck no bra?” he groaned as he smeared a glob of chocolate over them, taking in the sight for a while before diving in to clean it all up while his cock hit the spot so good, you saw stars. 

“nnghh- baby, please,” you whimpered when he bit your nipple, not really knowing what you were asking for. 

he looked up at you, equally wrecked, the usual smirk long gone, all you could see was a pussy-drunk toji, eyes glazed, with pink ears, “yeah? tell me ma, whaddya want?” still maintaining a solid rhythm hitting it so deliciously, your hand grabbed onto his hair, pulling him closer to kiss you. 

you gripped his hair, pulling onto them– making him feel so utterly gobsmacked- god, he loved it when you pulled onto his hair like they’d personally offended you, like you would rip them apart, he moaned- moaned into your mouth saying, “what do you think about me making you an actual mama, doll?” 

and suddenly the world stopped, your eyes rolled back, arching into him even more as your legs wrapped around him tighter, your grip on his hair hard, as your climax washed over you so intensely at the thought of him breeding you, carrying his child and god, the rush of hormones, the adrenaline, his hand on one of your tit squeezing just right , the other went down your clit, rubbing fast and teasing circles on it while his thrusts got harder and rougher.

you moaned while nodding eagerly as the waves of the sudden climax came over, but toji still kept going, overstimulating you, while you urged him to cum in you right then, “jiii- wanna make you a daddy, come on, breed me, baby, pleaseee?”

“yeah? gonna fill you up right-” he shuffled his hand down from your tit to where he could feel the bulge of his cock over your stomach, “-here, baby,” pressing down on the bulge to stimulate you even further in your already hazed state. 

“you gonna take it, baby? all of it? make me a daddy, yeah?” 

“mmhmmmm,” you whined while kissing his neck and licking up his earlobe, whispering, “cum for me, daddy,”

that did it. you felt him convulsing from sheer pleasure as he came in you, ropes and ropes of his release painting your walls, dick twitching inside you violently as his arms wrapped around your waist tightly, holding you in place, nuzzling into your neck, mumbling, “love you, ma.”

⭑ ๋꒷꒦︶꒦︶꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒷꒦꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒦꒷ ๋⭑

a/n: thank you for reading till the end!! this was smth lol lwk self-indulgent skdjds. im new to writing smut so, im sorry for any mistakes!! i hope yall enjoyed mwahmwah<3

────────────────────────────────────────────

do not plagiarize.

[vxnillabxn]

Heyyyy ! How are you ? 😄

Can I request a Sylus one shot (I don't know if you really write about him since there's A LOT of Zayne 😅) with MC/Reader having endometriosis and having extremely painful periods and just can't move at all ?

(I have that and it sucks. I'm not the type to cry when I'm in pain but for that, it's just... Ugh.)

Anyway, I hope you're doing well, take care of yourself, drink a lot of water and focus on your wellbeing !

Here, have a cookie 🍪😁

See yaaaaaaa !

𐙚˙⋆.˚ sylus x afab!reader ꒰੭

𐙚˙⋆.˚ hurt/comfort! ꒰੭

𐙚˙⋆.˚ sfw, period implied! ꒰੭

𐙚˙⋆.˚ do not translate/copy/repost! ꒰੭

﹙♡﹚oh, love! i can only imagine how painful that must be, and i truly hope it gets more and more bearable with time :(( i gotta admit... i went a bit too far, and i don't think this is a one-shot anymore, but rather something comforting for you, and for anyone who might need it! i do write for all of them, so feel free to request again, too~ ♡ aaaand thanks for the cookie, have some warm boba tea! 🧋ᡣ 𓈒⋅ ⩊ ⋅𓈒ྀིა

your body alerted you days prior, as it always did. and while some signs were subtle, some others were extremely painful.

you hated feeling like this; you hated only enjoying some pain-free days during the month, and suffering the rest of them.

the worst part?

that the pain didn't whisper only for you to hear.

it screamed.

it was perceivable, noticeable.

it was in the way you could barely move from room to room, in the way you clutched your body, in the way you couldn't even lie down peacefully.

so even when you tried to convince yourself that this was going to pass, your body internally fought and turned against you, making that sense of hope disappear.

and sylus obviously noticed.

he is an educated man, so he knew beforehand how bad periods could get.

however, he always asked you directly what your personal experience was, and how the condition affected your body and overall health.

when you were finally relaxed, he would ask what he could do to help you during those hard times.

he knew that asking you while you were suffering could make things even worse or exasperating, and he wanted to be prepared to do exactly what you asked him to.

after all, it is your body, you know it better than anyone else, and even when he had memorized every single inch, you still had the last word.

always.

so, in those days when you felt overwhelmed by the pain, and wanted nothing but to feel numb, or… stop feeling altogether, he would only link his pinky finger with yours.

he'd sit beside you, watching, never speaking.

not wanting to put more sensations on your body, not wanting to oversaturate you with his warmth or his coddling.

he only wanted you to know that he was there, that he wouldn't let anything happen to you, even when the pain —that same pain that came every month with no fail— felt fatal.

on the days you absolutely couldn't take it anymore, when you needed comfort after enduring so much, he would hold you close and move you gently, always careful not to add pressure where it hurt.

he would lay you down and curl up by your side, just to cover your lower belly with his big, warm palm.

his other hand would gently caress your cheek, as his lips met yours in soft, loving kisses over, and over again.

if you wanted to hear his voice, he would praise you; and it would always come in whispers near your ear, so he could make sure your attention was on him, as you focused on how his breathing tingled, how his voice sent shivers down your spine, and how warm his body was.

if you wanted to distract yourself with noise, so you could shift your mind elsewhere, he would play background music just for you.

serene, instrumental, no sudden changes in tempo, no sudden drops.

just a melodic symphony to ease your nerves; as serene as the love he could give you.

finally… when the pain finally started to subside the slightest bit, he would make sure to praise you and your body for being so strong, even when it is okay to cry or feel it out.

you're only human, after all.

no one should have to endure such pain, and no one should have to pretend nothing is wrong.

because something is.

yet you bore it, all these days, weeks, months and years.

and when he praised you, it came in lingering, wet, open kisses, from your lips down to your abdomen.

over your clothes or under, it was up to you.

but he made sure every inch of skin was loved, praised, maybe to offer you strength for the months ahead.

or maybe just to remind you that even when you felt drained and defeated, you still nourished yourself… and found your way back on your feet.

so, when your pain screamed, making its presence noticeable…

sylus would quietly shut it down with his reverence and love towards you, whether curled up close or simply sitting by your side.

[goddamnitmahtin]

Dami's Teddy Part 4

Years passed as years tend to do. Alfred watched the boys grow into men and slowly one by one move out of the manor. Young Master Dick was forging a path of his own in Bludhaven and he was nothing but proud. Young Master Jason was still fighting but he had his own family now, youngsters under his own wing in Crime Alley. It wasn't so full of crime anymore, the alley's name now just an homage of what it once was before the young master set his mind to helping restore the area. Young Master Tim was retired from field work after a very nasty cold took out his immune system. He was however CEO of Wayne Enterprises and he was doing very well. Young Master Damian had put down his swords in favor of schooling, graduating top of his class in high school. He was on his way to university to pursue his dream of being a doctor soon.

In the same way that the boys had grown, the ladies that frequented the house had also turned out to be extraordinary women. Young Miss Barbara was now going back to school, taking night courses in technological engineering. She was doing work for Young Master Tim and he wanted to be able to legally pay her so she was finishing up some courses so she had the specks to be legally hired on at WE. Young Miss Cassandra was currently travelling in a touring production of Giselle and she sent post cards often. She seemed to be enjoying it. Young Miss Stephanie was no longer attached to the hip of Young Master Tim as she had gone through some self discovery and she was currently travelling with Young Miss Cassandra as they were romantically intertwined nowadays.

The only stagnant figures in the home were Master Bruce who seemed to have been in enough supernatural events that he seemed to have stopped aging, Alfred who looked just as much of an old man as he had before and Danyal which remained unchanged. Alfred was beyond happy to see the children growing into who they were meant to be as he saw them less as employers and more as his own grandchildren. They were the family he chose after he retired and he was beyond happy to know that they had all made their own way and were happy and healthy. Alfred was an old man now and was willing to admit that they were all very dear to his heart.

Alfred stopped seeing Danyal so often once Young Master Damian fully started to acclimate to being in the manor. Once the world around him died down enough for the boy to breathe, he didn't hide behind his own pride and started to bond with the family. He didn't need Danyal to hold anymore when he was alone. He became self assured in his place withing the home just as Alfred hoped he would. However it meant that after a while, the dynamic duo became a dynamic uno.

Danyal still came to see Alfred of days that the bear had the energy to try and move but for the sake of Young Master Damian, Alfred made sure the teddy was returned to the boy's room before he returned from school. They were still good friends but it wasn't an often occurrence that Alfred got to hear his inanimate friend's tenor voice box. They made the most of it baking together most times. If the manor suddenly had cookies or lemon squares it was most definitely because Danyal and Alfred were having one of their secret meetings to catch up. Danyal often updated Alfred on Damian's life like if he was more stressed recently or if he was dealing with a new moral quandary Danyal was helping him through. Danyal had his own place on the shelf where he sat in the young master's room and Alfred thought it fitting for such a sophisticated bear.

Today was not one of those days were Alfred was graced with the presence of his dear friend. Damian was holed up in his room, having just graduated high school. After the many sleepless nights that Danyal told him the boy had, he was most likely finally getting the rest he deserved no longer needing to worry about finals. It left Alfred alone to stew in his own thoughts as he finished up his duties for the day.

"Hello Alfred." he heard a familiar voice say as he wiped up the dining room table.

"Hello Rachel," he said in return, offering her a smile. Alfred was aware that the titans were visiting the manor for the week. It had happened before but never for very long. However Young Master Dick seemed to have a case that he and the titans wanted to work with Master Bruce on. Alfred was proud of the progress the two were making in their relationship. Young Master Dick was coming home more often and the fighting was less. It was nice.

"You don't mind having more mouths to feed for the week do you? Garfield has quite the appetite," the young woman chuckled at her own joke about her boyfriend.

Alfred gave his own chuckle in response, "After years of feeding Young Miss Cassandra, I think I can handle it."

"I was told that you knew which room he and I were allowed to use for the week?" Rachel fiddled with her fingers, a nervous tick she never seemed to have grown out of even after all this time.

"Indeed I do," Alfred said in response, finishing up the table, "I can show you if you'de like." He stood up and looked to the young woman. She had grown up well. She was more confident than she used to be but her underlying anxiety still remained. As she matured so did her power, growing within her as Young Master Dick had explained once. Alfred understood why that would give someone a great anxiety.

"Yes please," she said, following as Alfred began to walk with her to the stairs. While the dining room was on the lower level of the house, most of the bedroom occupied the second and third floors of the manor. The room that Alfred had cleared for Rachel and Garfield was on the third floor near the bedroom that Young Master Damian had moved into in order to see the stars better at Danyal's request a few years ago.

The two of them passed the young master's room quietly as to not disturb him. At least that was the original plan.

"Wait-" Alfred turned to see Rachel standing in front of Young Master Damian's door, wide eyed as she stared at the ivory handle.

"Is something the matter?" Alfred asked. He had never seen her act in such a way outside of a work environment. It was a face she made when something supernatural was happening that she herself did not do. Alfred felt his heart sink slightly.

"I can sense it- a soul," Rachel muttered as she reached for the handle of Young Master Damian's door, "It's trapped-"

Alfred held out an arm in front of the polished wood, "Please refrain from disturbing my young master's rest." He made sure to use a tone that was soft but authoritative. He knew what poor Rachel was sensing but something in Alfred didn't want to acknowledge it. Didn't want to think about it.

"I- I'm sorry, forgive my rudeness," Rachel spoke softly, seeming surprised at her own forwardness. She retracted her hand and took a step away.

"It's quite alright, though I ask it not happen again," Alfred let his tone relax once more as he finished walking the young woman to her room.

Then he went to the Batcave.

Part 3.5

[noxemma]

Parts 1&2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 |

--- As promised, here's a longer part! Thank you all for being so patient and nice in the comments (stop that, I might get used to it lol). Also a dash more of Bal for the one person who asked for it 😂

--- Dean does fix his shirt, blushing with embarrassment and then with awareness as he feels Cas' eyes roaming across his skin and tattoos. Once he's deemed presentable and Cas has also pulled on a shirt, a polo this time instead of the button up, they head down through the casino following signs for the buffet. The place is crowded with people and Dean is just starting to worry that they'll have to call Gabe and get directions when a small hand slips into his. He startles a little but reflexively grabs it. "We're over here! Dad, can I sit between you and Mr. Dean?" Jack asks brightly, grinning ear to ear. "If that's alright with Dean, I don't see why not," Cas responds, smiling over the child's head at Dean as Jack forms a human bridge between them and leads the group toward their table.

"What am I, Jack? Chopped liver?" Sam teases, tickling Jack until he's giggling and fleeing behind Gabe. "I got to eat with you a couple times yesterday, and this morning!" Jack groans, sticking out his tongue to show he's joking. "Fine, I guess that mean's I have to sit next to you, Gabriel." "Actually, I believe that seat is reserved for me," Dean recognizes the man and the accent from brunch but can't quite place his name. "Bal! You made it, good. I needed reinforcements, as you can see, I'm out numbered," Gabe sighs dramatically. "Indeed. I don't believe we met. Balthazar, cousin from across the pond," Balthazar introduces himself to Sam. Sam returns the introduction and handshake and then everyone disperses to find food. Jack starts off with Cas and then somehow latches onto Dean, wanting to try everything he's putting on his plate. By the end, Dean is juggling two plates full of food and a cup of coffee while Jack uses both hands to carry his cup of juice. "Oh, there you are! Jack, you can't wander off like that! Sorry, Dean. Here let me help you," Cas apologizes, swiftly relieving Dean of one of the precarious plates. "Dude, seriously, no problem. Although, your dad is right, Jack, you have to let him know where you're going," Dean reprimands, though his stern face melts away when Jack stares back up at the two of them with wide eyes. Dean locks eyes with Cas, looking for help as he starts caving in to the puppy eyes, only the concern has already melted from Cas' face leaving nothing but love so deep that, if Dean hadn't been sure he was making the right decision before, he is now. Dinner is an oddly wonderful experience, so different from the other meal he shared with Cas' family. Gabe and Balthazar tell jokes and embarrassing stories of when Cas was younger and Dean joins in with his own of Sam. There's laughter and good-natured arguing and Dean helps Jack cut up his meat and he can't help the warmth at how normal it all feels.

It feels like family, Dean realizes as Jack grabs his hand and begs him to come get dessert with him and Cas. They're watching Jack debate every single option of cake, pie, and ice cream when Cas tells him, "He likes you, you know." "What's not to like?" Dean teases before getting serious when Cas rolls his eyes. "I like him too. Jack's an amazing kid. You've done a great job raising him. Have you- What are you going to tell him, about, you know ... us?" "I-" Cas starts but no more words follow. Dean watches his eyes go wide and helpless and he can't bear to see Cas panic again. So, when Jack finally comes back, thrusting a slice of cherry pie into Cas' numb hands while he grips his bowl of cookie crunch ice cream, Dean just blurts it out. "Hey, Jack. Would you be okay if Cas and I got married? Like tomorrow?" Jack comes to a full stop, nearly dumping ice cream over the edge of his bowl. "It would be pretend! Just to help your dad out, kind of like what I'm doing by being his date, only for a little longer," Dean rushes to explain. Jack stares at Dean for a few seconds, with the same unnerving intensity that Cas does sometimes, making Dean question whether the trait is inherited or learned. "Would you move in with us? And would Sam come over to visit?" Jack asks when he finally speaks and begins walking again. "Uh, yeah. Would you be okay with that?" Cas stares at both of them, fingers gripping the plate of pie so tightly as he watches the scene play out that Dean is a little nervous he's going to shatter the dish. Jack thinks about it for a moment, face adorably twisted in concentration, before he nods. "Yeah, I think it will be fun, like a long sleep over party," Jack says before turning to pull on his father's arm excitedly, "Ooh ooh, can I be the flower girl?" Cas locks eyes with Dean, still teetering on that edge. "Of course you can, unless Sam wants to fight you for it." Jack sets off as fast as he can for the table to question Sam. Dean laughing his ass off as Sam whips around to glare at him.

It isn't until he's sitting down that Dean realizes he never got any dessert for himself.

"Shoot, I didn't get any pie. I'll be-"

"I'm sorry, Dean. I think this was the last slice," Cas says, wincing.

"Oh," Dean tries not to act too disappointed, pastes what he hopes is a believable smile on his face. "Ah, no worries."

"You, you can have it if you want. I really don't need it."

"No, no. It's okay. Jack got it for you, I can go get a slice of cake or something," Dean responds, ignoring the way Sam is staring at him like he's lost his mind.

"Sam's face seems to indicate that you aren't being honest," Cas deadpans, too damn observant.

"Pie is kind of sacred to Dean," Sam offers up.

"Traitor," Dean grumbles.

"What? He should know about your weird obsession if you guys are going to be married," Sam snarks back.

"Married? I'm sorry, did I miss something?" Bal asks and both Gabe and Sam start filling him in when neither Dean nor Cas make any move to.

"I have an idea! Mr. Dean, you switch seats with me, then you and Dad can share the pie! 'Sharing is caring,' right, Dad?"

"Um, that's right, Jack. I, uh, we could- I wouldn't be opposed to sharing if you don't mind, Dean."

Dean and Jack complete their little game of musical chairs and Dean finds himself shoulder to shoulder with Cas, each of them taking turns eating bites of the pie and ice cream.

It feels too close to daydreams and fantasies Dean has had before, too close to that something that feels like its missing in his life.

He's just about to excuse himself to the bathroom as the warm bump of Cas' thigh and shoulder become too much when Jack tugs at his shirt sleeve and leans in to whisper into his ear.

"Why is it pretend? Don't you want to marry him for real?"

Dean's stops cold, the happy sounds of the table muffling. Because, yeah, he realizes, he kind of does want to marry Cas for real. Even if they never become a real couple, he wants the cuddling and the shoulder to lean on when things get tough, he wants someone to be there when he gets home from work, wants to be the one waiting up to greet Cas too. He wants more late-night conversations illuminated by Baby's dash and starlight, he wants holding hands. He wants more too, but he'd be content with just this.

The ache that follows the realization seems to bury itself into his very soul, etching these desires and the secret bigger want into each of his ribs, marking him as forever changed by this blue-eyed man. "It's kind of a complicated adult thing, but, hmm. How do I explain this easily?" Dean whispers back, thinking for a moment before slowly saying, "It takes two to want to make something real, Jack. Does that make sense?" Jack nods slowly, but his brows are pinched. He's just opening his mouth to say something when several things happen at the same time. First, the fork clatters from Cas' hand and he reaches underneath the table to place a death grip on Dean's knee. Second, a voice Dean is really starting to hate calls out "You must be Jack!" Third, every head at the table swivels toward two figures approaching them. Dean instinctively wraps his arm around Jack, pulling the boy in close to protect him. "Dad, who are these people?" Jack whispers to Cas, eyes never leaving the pair as they stand awkwardly across the table, ungreeted by anyone. "Jack. This is-" Cas starts only to be cut off by Naomi. "I'm Grandma Naomi and this is Grandpa Chuck." Dean has to actively suppress the urge to growl. "Oh, so these are the assholes who sent people to kidnap us," Sam stage-whispers to Gabe, eliciting an indelicate snort from Bal and a glare from Naomi which Sam returns full force. Dean couldn't be prouder, smiling at Sam when he winks at Dean. "Eh-hem, yes, well. We do apologize for that. We were just so excited to meet you, Jack," Naomi says, voice sugary sweet. "You made my dad, worry. That's not very nice," Jack states firmly, but then he seems to lose bravado under the weight of both the Shurley's stares, "but the plane ride was kind of cool." Chuck looks like he's going to add something, but Dean cuts him off. "Hey, Sam. You wanna take Jack up for bed? I'm sure he's tired after today and we have some stuff to discuss with the Shurley's." Sam nods, jumping up from the table. Jack looks up to Dean who nods. The boy wraps his arms around Dean in a hug before sliding off his seat and giving Cas one as well, then scampers off to grab Sam's hand, only dignifying the fuming 'grandparents' with a wave.

"I'll go help him. Bal, you want to stay? They might need a witness and I'm not exactly impartial," Gabe announces. "I suppose I can, if both parties are amenable to that suggestion?" Bal agrees staring between Cas, Dean, Chuck, and Naomi with raised brows. He takes their silence as agreement, moving chairs so that Naomi and Chuck can sit across from them while he sits at the head of the table. "Right, we are in public, so let's do try to keep this civil." Cas' hand is back on Dean's leg, holding on with more emotion than shows on his face. "Chuck, Naomi. I assume you've come to a decision?" Cas says coldly. Instead of responding, Chuck sets a stack of papers on the table. Bal reaches for them when neither Cas nor Dean do, reading through the pages as the other four at the table continue to stare at each other with open hostility. "Well, everything looks to be in order and legitimate. Don't worry, I do know what I'm doing, I am actually a licensed solicitor, though I stopped practicing because it was far more tedious and less exciting than I expected it to be. The short of it is, Cas will marry Dean tomorrow in place of Michael and Abagail. You will remain married for no less than two years. During that time, major holidays will be spent with the Shurley's as well as mandatory attendance at a few key publicity events such as the charity gala and the annual investors' banquet. If you agree to these conditions, they will relinquish all custodial claim to Jack. The agreement is, of course, null and void should any of the stipulations be violated." "Anything in there about Cas' trust fund," Dean can't help but ask, only realizing after the words are out how it might make him look like a gold-digger. "No. I thing we've compromised enough on this agreement without lining your pockets as well. Plus that Gabriel supplements Castiel's paltry income already," Naomi sneers. "Besides, we know you two aren't really engaged. Michael overheard Dean earlier, confessing to the farce on the phone, in public. I also believe he heard you say, how did it go, oh, yes you were going to 'get a little extra padding' for your brother's tuition fund."

Do not strangle Cas' parents, do not strangle Cas' parents, Dean chants to himself, his hand going down to grip Cas' tightly. At least not before Jack is safely Cas'. "Cas?" Dean whispers to Cas, praying he hasn't royally fucked the man over with his big mouth and his pride. "Fuck. I'm sorry. I was on the phone with Sam and-" "Those terms are acceptable. I wasn't interested in my trust fund when I left at eighteen and I have no interest in it now other than the collegiate education it could have funded for Jack, but we'll be fine without it." "You will have to continue to pretend to be in love. I'm sure Balthazar can confirm for you that one of the stipulations is no scandals or negative press revolving around your marriage for its duration. We need this to promote a ... diverse and family friendly brand in order to get an edge over our competitors, at least for the next few quarters," Chuck drones, Dean not really listening as he realizes that Cas said yes to marrying him even though his parents know it isn't real. There's more said, more slights and jabs thrown, but Dean doesn't hear any of it. He barely remembers signing the documents along with Cas. No, the next thing he is actively aware of is standing outside of their hotel room with Cas, having parted ways with Bal in the elevator at some point. "Dean? Are you alright?" Cas asks as he swipes his keycard and opens the door. "Yeah?" "That's very convincing." "Hey," Sam whispers, meeting them by the door. "Jack's passed out on the bed. I made sure he brushed his teeth, though he didn't have pajamas to change into. How'd it go?" "Dean and I are getting married tomorrow, late afternoon. I apologize, but I'm going to have to cancel class on Monday. Chuck and Naomi want to do a formal dinner reception to do damage control with the press, one of several stipulations for giving up custody. Here, you can look over the documents," Cas answers, handing Sam the copy of the agreement that they'd received. "Oh, wow. You're really doing this," Sam utters as he glances through it. Cas shifts beside him and Dean finally snaps out of it. "Yeah. We are," he agrees, reaching out to grab Cas' hand and squeeze encouragingly. "Alright. Well, goodnight, Cas. I guess we're going to be brother-in-laws after tomorrow, good thing there's only a couple more weeks left of the semester. I don't expect any special treatment alright and, uh, congratulations." "Of course not, Sam. And thank you," Cas replies awkwardly. Sam slides past and opens the door, turning back to look at Dean. "Well, you gonna grab your stuff?" Dean stares at him, confused as to what the hell he's getting at when he follows Sam's pointed look toward the bed where Jack sprawls over the side Dean had occupied the previous night. "Oh, right. Uh, I guess I'm bunking with Sam tonight. It kind of works out I guess, can't see the bride before the wedding and all that," Dean teases, trying to mask the disappointment he feels. "Are you implying that I am the bride or you are?" Cas quips back and Dean's stomach does somersaults because he's sure he sees Cas' shoulders slump a fraction, convinces himself there's a hint of mirrored disappointment in Cas' eyes.

"Depends. Which one of us do you think would look better in a dress?"

Dean grabs his bag and toothbrush, pausing in the doorway even though Sam is yawning and tapping his foot in the hallway. "Uh, goodnight, Cas. Guess I'll see you in the morning?" Dean says, unsure of what he's fishing for or why he's stalling. "Goodnight, Dean," Cas murmurs, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek, "Sleep well." --- Dean doesn't sleep well. He rolls over for what has to be the eighteenth time and still can't get comfortable in the twin bed. Sam's light snoring from the other bed only makes it worse, taunting Dean that sleep comes so easily and gently for his brother. After another half hour of staring at the ceiling and feeling like he's going out of his mind, Dean gives up and rolls off the bed. He quietly pads to the bathroom and sits on the closed toilet, keeping the lights off so he doesn't wake Sam. He pulls out his phone and opens the short text thread he has with Cas. He begins typing, then deletes everything. "You can't text him at two twenty-seven in the morning, that's just cruel. He's had enough to deal with today without me adding my stupid insomnia on top of it all," Dean chides himself. He gets up from the toilet and wets a washcloth with warm water, hoping maybe that will help him relax enough to sleep for at least a few hours. He's just about to lower himself onto the bed he's beginning to hate when he feels his phone vibrate. Castiel Novak (Hot Prof): Dean? Why are you still awake? Dean: Trouble sleeping, but that's normal for me Dean: Why are you awake? Dean: Worried about tomorrow? Dean curses himself for sending off so many texts and nearly has himself convinced that he'd imagined Cas' first text when his phone vibrates again. Castiel Novak (Hot Prof): No. I mean yes, there is some lingering anxiety about tomorrow's, well I suppose it would technically be today's, events. However, I was not lying earlier. I also have trouble sleeping. Dean smiles at his phone, at Cas' carefully typed paragraph and he is seized by the urge to see him. He tries to think up any excuse before landing on one that's actually viable. Dean: Hey, since you're up. I left my suit in your room. Mind if I run up and grab it? Dean bites his lip and clutches his phone as he watches the little ellipse dots blink for a frustratingly long time that he knows is probably only a few seconds.

Castiel Novak (Hot Prof): Of course. I'll bring it to the door for you. It's all the green light Dean needs, springing from the bed, stopping only long enough to throw on one of the fancy robes and slippers from the bathroom before he's out the door. Dean tries not to be too pleased by the fact that the hotel door opens almost as soon as he appears in front of it, tries not to come to the conclusion that Cas was waiting for him. "Here you are, Dean," Cas says, his voice extra gravelly. Dean leans against the door as he accepts the hanger with his suit on it, needing to support his weight with something other than his suddenly wobbly knees. "Thanks, Cas." "Of course, Dean." They stare at each other, each waiting for some signal. A door banging shut somewhere further down the hall jolts Dean out of his stupor. "Okay, well I guess I should get back to my room. Try to get a few hours and all that. Big day today. I'm getting married, you know," Dean says dopily, fully blaming Cas' presence and lulling voice for causing him to relax and finally feel the pull of sleep. "Is that right? You know, I just so happen to be getting married tomorrow too." "Yeah? Must be a lucky guy," Dean says wistfully, forgetting reality for a moment. Cas tilts his head and grins, a sweet I'm-trying-not-to-smile-but-can't-help-it grin. "I'm pretty sure I'm the lucky one. Dean hums and finally manages to find the will to push off from the door. "Goodnight, Cas." "Goodnight, Dean." Dean gets all the way down to his and Sam's room before the stupid smile falls from his face and panic sets in as he pats at the robes pockets. "Son of a bitch. No, fuck. C'mon, tell me you weren't that stupid, Winchester." But Dean comes up empty, staring at the door that remains locked, his key sitting on the bedside within, left in his foolish haste to see Cas. Dammit. Either I wake Sam up or go down and try to get another key, although Gabe paid for the room so I don't know if they'd give me one, Dean ponders his options, biting his lip. Or ... Dean pulls his phone out. Hovers over his text thread with Cas, then sighs and swaps over to his favorites and jabs his thumb angrily at Sam's contact. The call is surprisingly picked up after just one ring. "Hey, Sam. I'm an idiot and locked myself out of the room, can you open the door? I'll buy you some fancy omelet or coffee tomorrow to make up for interrupting your beauty sleep." "Um, Dean?" That is not Sam's voice. Dean knows it isn't, even though he's sleep deprived and the phone speaker is shit, he knows that's not his brother's voice on the other line. "You're locked out of your room?" "Fuck, shit. Sorry, Cas. I didn't mean to bug you again. I must have hit the wrong button. Uh, don't worry about it. I'll figure it out, you go to bed, okay?"

"Dean, I'm the one who texted you first, remember? And, you're not bugging me. I, um. If you didn't want to wake Sam, you could, I mean you know how ridiculously big the bed is in here, I'm sure that the three of us could fit. Or, well, if you're uncomfortable with that I guess I could call Gabe and ask him to get a spare room key," Cas stammers, going from in control to unsure in seconds. "Uh, thanks. That would be- I'll, um, I'll be up in a second." Dean's once again feeling warm gooey feelings as Cas opens the door before he can even lift his hand to knock or text. "Here, I'll put this back in the closet," Cas offers, taking the suit from Dean. Dean waits for Cas in the darkness, letting him lead the way to the bed. Cas gets in, gently nudging Jack away from the middle, leaving a small space for Dean on the edge. Dean slides onto the mattress, lets out a breath he was apparently holding when he feels the heat of Cas next to him, feels the reassuring press of his chest when Dean turns on his side to be the little spoon so they can fit more comfortably in the space left over from Jack. Dean lets out a sigh, of relief and contentment, not realizing until this moment that he hadn't been able to get comfortable in the twin bed downstairs because one perfect night in Cas' arms had apparently ruined sleeping alone. What the fuck are you going to do for the next two years? I doubt Cas really wants you sleeping with him after the wedding, you might be moving in but that doesn't mean you get to invade every aspect of the guy's life. Dean bats the worry away, pins it in a corner of his brain to deal with later when he isn't happily cuddled up next to Cas. "Dean? Are you- Is this comfortable?" "'m perfect, Cas. Never wanna leave," Dean murmurs before finally drifting off to sleep as Cas' arm gently drapes across his waist.

@colorlessjay @destielfangirl24 @chokinghazardchirp @o-birdseed-o @examishbookwyrm @planterflush @t0asssty @dead-sirens @hate-babe-27 @profanitybasedfun @azriel-rodas @ghost-in-the-light @kwazle96 @icarus-falling-down @beingbluee @sassa-v @demons-i-get @greeneyedgrasshopperandhisangel @hereswhatimyellingabouttoday @sesquipedalianisms @sadundefinedbread @nyc-pizza-rat @bluetiger3000 @thefantasyvoid @marita2503 @indigo-dear @thecaffeinatedcatlover

[dreamyblanket]

If it’s not too much to do, can u draw wind archer cookie with y/n cookie please?

I'm brain rotting over deceit legendarys atm

[clumsypuppy]

horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago

[asavt]

A little idea while I work on something else involving these two that hopefully I am able to get out soon.

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

swings bat at hornets nest dot png

consistent characterization of pb is that if youre conventionally cute she will like you and pull you out of danger but if youre kinda offputting or ugly she will let bad things happen to you in front of her and she might even openly blame you for them

[glitch-frogy]

Wip

Really trying to render with direct colors instead of a overlay

Hehe nothing here [=

[b0nelessdoodles]

my gf showed me mignon and i have not been the same since i swear i have only listened to touch for the past week now i am mentally ill

anyway, espresseleine au

[swiiivet-screamathon]

Whenever I add ship tags to any of the waffled posts I make it clear that its for reach as I assume those people would like to see more interactions of their ship components and not because it was explicitly intended as shipping-- though you can view it that way if ya wanna lol i am not stoppin anyone from takin it in that direction

[ilovetv99]

thinking about the idea that asgore is next on the chopping block for central figures in chapter 5 and the theory someone posted about the forgotten man being more present in chapter 5 (on monday i harvest the wheat)... and i realized the first two times you get eggs and can put them in the light world they are places asgore is in (his fridge in the shop + the grocery store)... much to think about

[the-silver-tree-knights]

mod has done a cardinal sin

we removed his weapon

oh my god please he looks so wrong

[fairymint]

to be fair it depends on the character! plus it's like, OC/self insert so i am starting from...? scratch??? semi canon? but i don't wanna like make a pokemon team for every goddamn canon i have so it has to come naturally i guess. it can't be work.

most of my verses are within their own fandom, so AUs are nicer for me for verseless characters like oc, I think

from the 3rd verse and on has been me kinda relaxing upon my creative drive, though...like trusting people to like it or whatever you'd call it. idk i still have coffee mania going-

[grinchwrapsupreme]

being super normal about White calling Billy "a dreamer"after the events of Maybe No Go