#multiple selves

[side-shuffling-hyperfixations]

Imagining a meeting of the Raphs where they find out MM Raph has a giant bug for a new mom figure and they're like trying to seem chill about it because they're the older ones who want to keep it cool around the new guy but straight up if Scumbug actually came into the room, 2012 Raph would be out so fast

[sysmedsaresexist]

To the anon asking about my username...

There's a bit of confusion here, I'm going to answer many of your questions but I may not post the ask itself, hopefully it'll make sense :)

When I started my blog I was heavily anti endo and I specifically posted bad pro/endo takes, debunking or just laughing. To this day, most of it is still pretty hilarious. I wasn't focused on cringe, but totally crazy, out there claims that made zero sense and were flat out wrong. Check out my tags #shit endos say, #shit singlets say, and my newest tag, #shit anti endos say, I hope you have a laugh at a couple of them.

In my pinned post, you'll see the thing that started it all. A pro endo saying that sysmeds are sexist.

I would also like to know how they came to that conclusion. I'm right there with you. Also like you, I still have many issues with the pro/endo community. I believe CDDs are trauma based disorders. I post research pretty much weekly about it (check out #debunk and #research). I think endogenic plurality and CDDs are completely different things.

And you know what, my pro endo friends support me. We're all learning. I'm kind with my opinion, I'm open to talking about it, we debate, we share resources, we change our views and adjust based on new info.

This blog corrects misinformation from both sides, now. Some of it is worse than others. Antis can and do spread just as much misinformation as pro/endos.

What I would encourage you to do is start with the multiple selves theory. It actually developed right alongside Freud's theories on hysteria (which included early versions of CDDs at the time), and if Freud hadn't been such a perv, it might actually be much more well-known. It's a nonpathological theory on consciousness and philosophy. People have been describing this phenomenon for a very long time, "endogenic" is just the newest term for it. Here's a couple examples.

2015 - at any given moment in time, one or another of our subselves is in control and determines how we think and act.

1987

2012 - this one has so many links to other people talking about this theory

2023 - These results suggest that the normative principles by which agents have adapted to complex changing environments may also explain why humans have long been described as consisting of “multiple selves.”

2020

2010

Like I said, though, you can find this stuff as far back as the 50s with ease, anything older might take a bit more digging, but it's not a small or new theory.

I think an overlap in language has created a lot of confusion, but it's really not out of the realm of possibility for people to be more in tune with these parts of themselves. It's been documented for over a century outside of psychology, in other areas of research-- anthropology, philosophy.

I'm going to be honest, I don't think a single one of the headmate sale blogs are real. I think they're antis trying to start shit. Like maybe one out of every ten is actually someone misguided behind the screen.

Even CDD systems still incorrectly believe in core theory, endogenics picked it up from us and don't know any better. System resets aren't real, but there are real experiences that can FEEL like a reset-- try being patient and educating people. Ignore the others, because some people just can't be helped, and you're better off spending your time spreading good, accurate posts than arguing with people who don't want to learn anything.

I forget what I was saying.

Anyways, I'm a pro endo sysmed.

I hope you'll stick around and see what's going on.

[daily-vocaloid-rock-metal]

Today's entry is jigoku by Iruma featuring Hatsune Miku. It was submitted by Anonymous!

It is a VOCALOUD song.

The PV was illustrated by Tsukumo Nomo.

[multiplicationdivision]

Surfing at Edict’s Bay was odd ever since the Great Shifting.

So many odd things had changed, yet normalcy was quick to return.

It was like the Empire State Building had always literally been the tallest in the world, a country of minds emboldening it to stretch on for literal infinity. The catacombs now whispered with the undead, but the undead turned out to mostly just be creepy in the religious way.

The bat cave 100 miles north had shifted to embody the connection of bats to vampires in the populace’s perceptions, but a task force and a sizable amount of stakes had quickly gotten that shit under control.

Other surfing locals had sharks or stingrays.

Edict’s Bay had starfish.

The starfish had once been a problem on-native, but a cocktail of the local population’s view of cute little animals that could regenerate perfectly and a flavoring of the local biology department’s knowledge of the original species’s invasiveness and potent venom had yielded it. The oddly friendly yet reclusive Splitting Starfish.

Risk came and went and the Bay’s starfish’s migration was closely monitored, but nothing was completely knowable and the town’s surfers were always prepared for a little risk.

Today’s risk had been an unlucky one.

Just a single infested kelp had drifted past and pricked them all.

Eddie didn’t seem that bothered, taking his new twin in stride.

“Honestly feels surprisingly good” one of him said, the two-headed man relaxing on their board. “Can’t really complain when I’ve just acquired another of my best feature” the left bragged. “The guy’s already reading my mind I swear” the right said, using their left shoulder to push the left head tight against his in fast growing affection. It was no surprise the two had already sourced a few double headed wetsuits from god knows where, likely having made it custom for today.

It certainly had helped Luc, who had torn his previous wetsuit from the sheer force of his body widening. He’d been the only guy who’s been left nude out in the open as his venom rapidly got to work. One minute he’d been a nervous wreck of a guy, a moment later he was panting through half-shared lungs in sync with another him as they lay on the sand, a torn mess of wetsuit around them.

Luc seemed anxious about the whole thing, but an over enthusiastic echo of Eddie’s was helpful in reassuring. Hell Luc even started to quietly talk with his other half, the two discussing with little smiles that grew as the guy visibly grew to like his now shared body. Adorably stumbling around every now and then as the Eddie’s coached him through moving as one person, as if they had any more experience in it.

To be fair, Eddie did know a guy who’d been through this all before. Eddie’s best friend had purposefully double torso-ed himself with a quick trip to the tide pools and had filled Instagram of him enjoying his time with his new body mate, likely having infected his friend with the conjoinment obsession in the process.

Joey had the most drastic change of the tens of surfers affected. Just enough venom in his veins for a near perfect split, although the lifeguards had been long accustomed to the situation to have a vial of the venom on hand so the guy wouldn’t be force to share a foot with his doppelganger.

Now he sat in a strange tension with his clone, neither of them speaking to each other, yet both refusing to part.

“Fucking hate that you brought me out here Chuck” one of him said, the other almost agreeing before noticably stopping himself. The two were separately vocally against their new doubles, yet continued to orbit their counterpart. Going so far as riding squeezed on the same bike before returning in matching jean shorts and tank tops. Looking suspiciously exhausted and with more than enough red marks across their body to betray why they’d taken 3 hours to change.

Chuck himself was just enjoying the others experience it all.

“Feeling like finishing the process?” his other head asked, watching his surfer friends joke around as they repeatedly tested his to incorporate their now doubled group into a functioning dynamic.

“Eh, don’t really need another Chuck around”, he said, well aware of the 3 other hims lazing around back at home. A loosely guarded secret of his, mostly balanced between the slight embarrassment of being a person who repeatedly forgets to follow migration reports as well as being a person who is very relieved not to need to need to train anyone else for his shop.

It would probably break the thinly veiled illusion of him being super humanly fast at completing tasks were a two headed Chuck to switch places with his single headed duplicates.

Unless they quickly homogenized the others to their condition. They’d probably catch another starfish in a water bottle or something just in case the others were interested.

They would be.

It wasn’t long before one of the many identical lifeguards spotted the peculiarities of the group and got their half assed reports of the events. Made them each promise to stay far away from the starfish next time as if the lifeguards weren’t walking contradictions of the recommendation.

Like the guy hadn’t skipped each of them his number, being an idiot in the fact that his copies each had the same idea.

Chuck had been there and done that with one of those lifeguards, lord knows which, and it was likely only the Lucs would take the man up. An anxious man, but a ruthlessly horny one at that.

Chuck was just planning on staying in tonight. Probably pull a Joey and welcome his body mate with style. Likely get a few other Chucks in on the celebration, maybe welcome a few new Chucks in with the starfish he was definitley going to keep in a tank at home.

Once you adjusted to shit like this, it hardly hurt to escalate a little.

It was after all, the new normal.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

“There are three people in one person, one eight years old, another forty, the third one, one hundred and five years old. Picture this: those three people live in one room; they have nothing in common in terms of coming to agreement and sharing work.”

~ Gurdjieff, 'Paris Meetings 1943'

[thanks Ian Sanders]

[fisheito]

When all your housepets are biters

[bklily]

If I have to read another fucking comment about how "marichat is better than ladrien because in the former they can be their true selves with each other" I'm going to commit a federal crime with violent repercussions.

Ladrien is another peak side of the love square and I'm tired of pretending otherwise.

[syscest]

hey, I’ve been talking to people in my head but sometimes they feel more faint and sometimes they’re voices are less loud. They also have bad consistency, sometimes I make a deal with them and they completely forget it. They also don’t talk to me naturally, sometimes they comment on things but it’s not like there’s a hundred voices talking to each other, in fact, they barley ever talk to each other—only to me. They never/barely ever fully front and only co front. Do you think I am a system or is my mind just gaslighting me?

those are some serious criteria failures anon, i think we can rule out you being haunted by powerful ghosts - have you considered it might be plurality instead?

[kkoct-ik]

i kinda wish i had a reading list to plug for non-pathological multiplicity and the variance of human identity and sense of self...

[side-shuffling-hyperfixations]

March for Raph Day 7: Nicknames

“Play nice, Raph!” was his Mikey’s parting call as he left to give his counterpart a tour, to which Raph’s own doppelganger promptly scrunched his beak.

“What’s that face for?”

“…He called you ‘Raph.’” He spat the word as if it tasted funny. “Kinda rude not to call a self-respecting turtle by his proper name.”

“What, you tellin’ me you make the effort for a mouthful like ‘Michelangelo’ and ‘Leonardo’ every time?” His other self stared expectantly. He blinked back. “Even in a time crunch? Heat of battle? Casual hangout? It’s Raphael for ya every time?”

“Don’t wear it out.”

[kinsagi]

has anyone talked about MobiVill (Mobius x VillV HI3) and Ratiorine (HSR) or am I gonna have to wait for someone to think of it too

[multiplicationdivision]

Telophase

There were six injections required to complete a full mitosis.

Dean hadn’t been able to finish it all, as had his coworker, Rhett. The money his old boss had had dried up and that final essential injection had been forgotten. It left them stuck in just before full completion, sharing their bodies from the shoulders down with a brand new twin.

Dean and Rhett had been only convinced to even try it based on budget concerns. The past asshole had said duplicating his best workers would be better than trying to hire on more untrained trade school grads. He’d promised it would be easy. He’d pointed at his first batch of duplicated workers and had them extol its virtues. The Pats were a crew in of themselves, every happy to show off the benefits of triplicating your best worker.

Dean and Rhett had wanted to be Pat, to some degree.

The Deans were taking their troubles as they came. They were happy to get the process over with after the first day of sharing the body, but that was a dream long gone. They were less receptive towards a mirror self than Pat, butting heads (literally), from the start.

Even if they tried to finish it now, they had waited too long. It would just end in two Deans both with two heads.

Rhett had taught them how to deal. The man preferred the singular, considering his two heads a asynchronous whole. He flexed on them, acting as if he was built to deal with this shit with his two calmly handsome faces.

Dean had been nervous to masturbate with the other man sharing his dick. They had been awkward just pissing through the thing, barely getting over that even after weeks of their new existence. They hadn’t liked addressing their new state of being, one Dean primarily taking over as the other tried to fade into the background. It left the Deans tense and angry, left to whatever release wet dreams gave.

Rhett had convinced him to try it.

It was like having sex with a boyfriend for the first time. Either Dean unsure of what they wanted the other to do, despite years of knowledge on what they wanted. They had barely talked to each other despite weeks of sharing a body and negotiation was even more painful to overcome.

They’d gotten over it.

Masturbating with a shared body was better than the lonely shit they’d done before. Dean could relax as his twin took over their dominant hand, feeling the familiar rhythm that they’d done since they were teens. They’d diverged enough for it to be off though, just a little bit out of sync with what Dean expected. Just a little unpredictable.

Two brains pumping arousal into the same dick also helped a bit. Dean hadn’t even known he could get this hard, but his body continued to seem to find the blood to make it longer and longer. He didn’t even need to watch porn these days, both of his heads fixated on how long they could get their dick.

It was hard not to like your other self after sharing that every night. It helped them share everything else. Their favorite hat, who got to eat most of their dinner, who got to be the one with a cigarette or joint in their mouth.

Who got to suck Rhett’s dick after work.

Dean was still going to bash in his old boss’s head when he finally saw him again, but he was coming around to the idea of doing so as a team.

[thefastestclockintheuniverse]

Not bad for a dead girl.

[phightinghottakes]

Phighting fandom is fucking disgusting for bullying a darkheart selfshipper into attempting to commit I might genuinely leave this time

God..

[granulesofsand]

Us, shoving our backstory and all memories not from this week into a closet and standing in front of it, desperately trying to fit new roles and fleeing front when we can’t, constantly confused and in trouble because we are confused: This will surely have no consequences!

Us: *+1 new member*

Us: *surprised pikachu face*

[markiafc]

it still shocks me, even now. that a mainstream drama from the most (?) sanitized and bastardized age of c-dramas would be this real, true exploration of mahayana buddhism. of the pure land buddhist school 净土宗 specifically. my school of buddhism i was raised on, in real life! that in chinese buddhism, different schools are formed around sutras of choice. sanlun & the 3 treatise, tiantai & the lotus sutra, etc. and at the core of pure land buddhism is the heart sutra. which we explicitly see in the show when lxy needs guidance most, lxy renaming himself in reference to it and to the recitation mantra - recitation/chanting 念佛 being the primary practice pure land buddhism revolves around. it goes through all the main concepts with authenticity. it is truly unreal that this show exists and hits so close to home.