#my brain is kinda jumping around from thing to thing bc i'm getting sleepy and i'm having a hard time deciding on stuff

[fatelcved]

i got the urge to lore dump now, especially after what i brainstormed last night, but i'm just... where do i start

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Barty's study group and the horny headache

Barbie dolls: Barty x gn! Reader

Word 1.1k

Summary: you have a headache and are horny so you beg your boyfriend to give you a handy

Warnings: Barty is reluctant at first but you ask him very nicely and he agrees I don't know if that's improper consent, I don't explicitly say what genitalia you have, you like Barty's ass, Barty has a stick and poke, regulus and Pandora kinda embarrass you two just a lil, I blueball you guys idk dude write your own porn ig, you get sexual favors while having a headache, you ask barty to give you a hand bc you want to go to sleep idk I'm sleepy just read it or something, thats it I think

Your day was going well, too. Then you got a splitting headacche. You could feel it behind your eyes. You just needed to lie down in a dark room with no sound but your own breathing. Now that you actually were buried under blankets, you realized you needed more than that. 

You weren’t even in your own bed, you were in Barty’s bed. You were waiting for him to get back from his last class, his history professor seemed to drag on past dismissal. You couldn’t keep your eyes open, they kept drooping. You slipped just under concious but you couldn’t sleep with the pain shooting through your brain. 

The dark room wasn’t the only thing you needed, you yearned for your boyfriend’s hands. One good handy and you knew the ache behind your eyes and between your legs would go away. You waited patiently under his blankets, slipping through sleep like a ship through waves. 

Eventually, his door did open. Barty moved to the side of the bed, setting his bag down and toeing his shoes off. He leaned down and pecked your forehead, pulliing you out of your half sleep. He was telling you about his class as he undressed from his uniform. None of the words registered in your head but you were able to comprehend his shirtless body. He pulled on an old ratted t-shirt that he stole from Regulus, who stole it from Sirius. You sat up on your elbow when his thumbs dipped into the band of his pants. 

“-Know, I told him. He didn’t listen. This is why I hate group projects. No one does their part, which includes my part. I’m not doing that stupid-“ You lost track of his words again as he pulled his uniform slacks down his thighs. You stared at the back of his thigh. A small stick and poke Evan just barely slipped out from the bottom of his boxer briefs. ‘Eat me’ just under the curve of his ass. He leaned over to the legs of his pants off his ankles, giving you a better veiw of his ass. Barty straightened up and started pulling on his pajama pants, jumping once they traveled over his knees. When the pants reached his hips again, his words reached your ears again. 

“-don’t study. I don’t know why they invited me.” Barty turned around to face you, tossing his tie on top of his trunk. He raised an eyebrow at you. “You okay? You don’t look so good.” Barty said, reaching out to press the back of his hand to your head. You groaned and flopped back into his blankets. 

“Headache.” Barty hummed. He pressed his knee into the mattress reaching out for you. Barty kissed you on your cheek. 

“You want me to get you something? I can’t stay long I’ve got that study group. I really think Regulus and Panda just want to copy off of me.” He said, whispering his last line as a second thought. You sat up on your elbow again, knocking your head into Barty’s neck. 

“Do you have to go?��� You asked. Barty groaned. 

“Oh, I know. I know, but they want me to come so it might be an intervention. Plus, I don’t want to stand them up. It shouldn’t take long before I’m back and I’ll give you all the headache cuddles you want.” Barty said, pulling you up into a sitting podition and rubbing your back. You scooted closer to him, sitting along the edge of the bed. Barty slipped his knee down, running his hands up and down your forearms. You shook your head, pressing your chin into his stomach. 

“I don’t want cuddles.” You whispered. Barty looked down at you, shrugging his shoulder. 

“Well, what do you want? A thousand dollars?” Barty joked, letting out a laugh. You shook your head: too horny and tired for laughs. You rubbed the side of your face into his shirt. 

“I want you, Barty.” You looked up at him, staring into his eyes. “Please, skip study group and tear my pants off with your teeth.” You said, slipping your hands behind him. You ran your hands over his ass, feeling the hems of his boxers. You missed seeing his stick and poke. You widened your eyes and Barty. Barty tossed his head back before looking back down at you. 

“Oh, baby. You know I would if I could. I can’t stand them up.” Barty said, one hand finding your cheek and the other rubbing your back.  

“Don’t stand them up, just be late. Please I need you and your pretty hands. It’ll be real quick. I just need you to get me off so I go to sleep and my headache goes away.” You said, digging your fingers into the flesh of his ass. Barty huffed out his nose, gently caressing your cheekbone. 

“You’re using me as a pain killer, no way I’m doing that when you’re all delirious from sleep,” Barty said, trying to comfort you by rubbing your arms. You let out a sound that Barty would call a whine, though you beg to differ. 

“Am not. I’m just crazy horny and also can’t sleep. It’s a win-win-win situatiion.” You muttered in Barty’s shirt. You realsed his ass from your hold, gently rubbing it to soothe the pain that probally followed your tight grip. 

“See. You’re so delirious you said one too many wins.” Barty said, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You buried your nose into Barty’s stomach for a second before pulling back. 

“No. I get an orgasm, I get to go to sleep, and you get to give me a handy. Which I know you love.” You said, dragging your hands to the front of his body and pushing the hem of his shirt up just a little. You pecked his happy trail, looking up at him. Barty pessed his lips together in a pout. You dropped his shirt and tipped your chin into his stomach again. 

“Please?” You said, blinking your eyes up at Barty. Barty groaned and tilted his head back. 

“I suppose Regulus and Pandora could wait a few extra ten minutes,” Barty said, before slipping under the covers with you.

You were right of course, it only took a few minutes and Barty was getting up to get a washcloth. You were alreading slipping into sleep by the time he came back, cleaning your body while you fell alseep in his covers.

After washing his hands and kissing your forehead goodbye, he left for a study group. Pandora and Regulus were not surprised that Barty was late, they were honestly expecting it. His excuse was that you had a headache and he had to bribe the healer to give him a potion to relieve your pain. When Regulus asked if the potion worked at dinner. You raised a brow, falling into silence. Barty cleared his throat and tapped his head. You caught on, agreeing and saying it worked wonders. The potion really did help. 

[awellboiledicicle]

Basically The Government went "well we havent had a war since like the revolution, but there are monsters all over that are wrecking shop. We should do something."

And bc I am me, that something was initially "capture a monster for study" but it poofed when they tried to get tissue samples. And because I was heavy into resident evil, this ended out in "put the rocks in humans, see what happens".

They eventually got to the point where they figured out you could grow a baby around the gem and it'd result in a like, actual person. It took a lot of very impressive beakers and large tubes of colorful liquids. The mental montage was impressive and backed with royalty free ringtones for some reason.

Jump cut to kid being steven in gem glow age.

So the kid is a little girl named a serial number. She has a bloodstone gem that basically functions as her heart. And her education was minimal but present, mostly because her handlers felt really goddamn skeevy about this kid just like. Existing in this kinda shitty military housing in the middle of nowhere by a lab, only getting to train to fight monsters.

And no my brain didn't remember guns bc I think sleepy me decided they didnt exist. Eh.

So the thing with Boo, as she decided her name was, is that she figured out she was a job really early. She was a project. A wrench that they had to feed, if you will. Partially because she heard her mother stand in talking about how creepy she was on a smoke break. How, because she didnt have a heart, they weren't sure she had a soul etc.

So Boo went a bit off the rails re: losing her goddamn shit. Which happens when a child had super powers due to an ungodly amount of energy from her gem and bioengineering. I'm talking kicking over trailers, throwing cars, and smashing things. And then being captured and put in government time out.

The government knows the gems are Around, and honestly they found out about steven because greg still claimed him on taxes and was in the files as "dude they actually talk to".

So Greg and the Gems both get alphabet soup agents showing up and asking a lot of questions. They only get anywhere with the gems because Garnet paused halfway through telling them to fuck off bc she Saw Boo. And while she didnt personally know Bloodstone she is Not About To Let This Stand. Also steven is in the background playing video games with amethyst and she didnt wanna have that conversation. Greg meanwhile isnt an idiot and figured there was a reason and finds the agents leaving the beach house.

Pearl? Not thrilled. Because Garnet said "bring us the child" and stared the agents into going "we will talk to our people". Pearl heard the words "highly volatile" and knows damn well this kid didnt come from a gem that wanted this vs Rose and steven. Garnet comments that she doesnt think Rose would have let it stand, and she had to do something. They could keep her in the temple if they had to etc.

Cut to a week later and Boo flipped out again, and rolled the truck she was being transported in by kicking a lot. Got to Beach city to fanfare of Mayor Dewey having to cordon off the Beach bc the DOD has no chill. Meanwhile the gems are expecting a.. well a corrupted gem the size of a small human. Basically. Then out of the paddy wagon comes this jacked 13 yrs old girl with a buzz cut, cuffs, and 0 idea why she is there. There are no monsters.

Amethyst is disappointed bc tbh she expected.. not this. Boo meanwhile is like. Staring at her gem like !!!!!!! Bc the only other gem thing shes ever seen was her or monsters.

She basically doesnt talk till they get home (steven is with Greg atm) and just kinda. Breaks the cuffs and spends like the whole time Pearl and Garnet are giving her the CG rundown.. petting the couch.

She met steven and cried. He then was told she was going to be a crystal gem too and he hugged her and she cried more.

Her main issue was like.. mostly the anger. A lot the anger. And then slowly kinda getting jealous of Steven for like. Having so many parental figures that love him. And being a healer. Like the gems and steven come to view her as part of the family, and same with Greg bc jeez the similarities between his upcoming and... that. But she wasn't.. she wasn't steven. She couldn't do anything but destroy. She could make a shield with enough work, but yeah.

Around one of the more tense arcs Steven asks about Boos mom and it doesnt go great.

Basically a "At least you know your mom's you're mom! I dont know if I was even born! I was MADE! You have three moms! And a dad! I'm a weapon! You're gonna do great things, and I'm here because itd waste money to kill me!" Thing.

So she and Amethyst got to have their own little moment and trip to the kindergarten. They break things and feel better. Yay.

Basically I thought about it again and the only reason like. Uncle Andy survived was Greg asking her not to throw him into the sun. She also loves Connie to death. It's super goddamn weird to see her parents. But it's ok. She mostly hangs with connie when steven does.

Future would involve "we're going to therapy" being repeated loudly until it happened.

Anyone wanna hear about the ~edgy~ su dream/au I had like pre-Single Pale Rose?

It involved gem experiments being done by humans and an extremely feral gem-human hybrid that liked breaking things and also Also backflips.