#my name is doom and I approve this message

[ahnaiee]

⋆｡°✩ Constellation Discovered ⋆｡°✩

PRETEND BOYFRIEND !

⋆｡°✩ ;; Xavier, Rafayel ⋆｡°✩ ;; You ask them to pretend to be your boyfriend. Just for a day.  ⋆｡°✩;; Part 2: Zayne, Sylus, Caleb here!! ⋆｡°✩ ;; Modern AU! No such thing as evols and such.

XAVIER

It started two days ago. You had chatted Xavier late in the afternoon, while he was doom scrolling on his phone.

two days ago.

you: hey, xav, this is random but you: can i ask for a favor?

Xavier: ? sure. What is it?

you: can you be my boyfriend?

Xavier drops his phone on his face.

you: Pretend!!!  you: Pretend Boyfriend!!

Xavier stares at your next message. okay. Ouch. Just a bit. Getting a message like that, while having a crush on your apartment neighbor, friend, movie night buddy? But he replies.

Xavier: … what do U mean?

you: okay, hold on I’ll explain it on call. 

Present.

An invitation to a wedding to a cousin that you can’t exactly make excuses for since according to them “You missed so many family gatherings” (on purpose), that you haaavve to make up for it by coming to their wedding. 

And you NEEDED a plus one. Code word for boyfriend so they could stop badgering you over your love life.

And so, you asked Xavier, your friend, your apartment neighbor, and also the only person you could think of to ask that as a favor. 

Over facetime, you were basically begging for him to agree, anyways. 

(“PLEASE, Xav. I’ll do anything!! Just pretend to be my boyfriend for a day, just for the wedding, and then we’re good!” He gives you a skeptical look. You smile sheepishly.)

He agreed. Xavier couldn’t help it– not when you threw him the puppy-eyed look. He folded SO quick, so easily. If Jeremiah was here, he would laugh at his face. 

So now, here you are, sitting in his car, dressed up so pretty and so beautiful that when he saw you, Xavier froze on the spot and had to fight back the blush that colored his face. 

“Xav? Hello?” You wave a hand over his face, and he snaps back into reality, turning to you. “Yeah? Sorry, spaced out.” 

You give him a look, but shrug. “Okay… Anyways, I have the venue location.” You show him the address, “Do you know where? I can set up Maps…” 

“Nah, It’s good. I got it.” and he starts the car. If you found him hot at that moment, that is something you will unpack after the wedding. 

The way there is you giving him a rundown of everyone in the family– who to avoid, who to tolerate, and who has your approval of “chill and will call back if ever”. He takes it like a champ, nodding and asking questions and mentally taking notes. 

“And if they ask about us?” He glances at you, and you smile. Xavier wants to kiss you right then and there. He holds back. Pretend boyfriend, he reminds himself.

“Just say we became friends and then boom, romance.” You shrug. “We don’t have to go overboard in the story. We’ve been friends for a while so you can answer whatever other questions they can have. Can you wing it, if ever?” You turn to him and Xavier nods. 

“Yeah. I’ll… I'll try.”

“Okay. I’ll try to not leave you alone. I don’t want you meeting the…” You shudder. “Terror side of the family.”

Xavier chuckles. “We’ll be fine.”

It was not fine. The moment the reception began, Xavier was bombarded with pushy aunts, curious cousins, and teasing uncles. And you.. Were nowhere to be found. 

To be fair, he can see you on the other end of the venue, but you were also surrounded by family (that you like), and Xavier really doesn’t want to disturb that wide smile of yours just to deal with the family you don’t like. So– just to see  you smile, he manages. 

But then he sees someone, a guy,  you haven’t mentioned take his place next to you. He squints, a frown on his lips. Who is that? 

His question is quickly answered by one of the aunts chattering to her husband. “Isn’t that Ryle?” 

“Hm?” The uncle to look over in your direction. Xavier tries to keep his attention to them. “Ah. Yes. The guy who liked [Name] before she moved away?”

“....” Xavier’s frown deepens. 

“Wasn’t he her ex? Why is he here?” Xavier freezes, and he eyes the guy closely, watching his every move from across the room. Ryle is standing too close to you, smiling and laughing along with your group and his jaw tightens.

“Ah, he’s friends with the groom.” The aunt shrugs, and the conversation shifts over to the bride and the groom but Xavier tunes that part out, his eyes zeroing on you. 

You, so pretty in that dress and that guy named Ryle moves closer to you and rests an arm over your shoulder. You make a face, one that tells him of how uncomfortable you are and— 

He doesn’t know how he got to the other side of the room so quickly, but he smiles politely to your cousins who excitedly greet him. You meet his gaze, wide eyed and confused, but you smile and he can feel his chest tighten at your smile. 

“Xavi.” His smile turns genuine, and he can see Ryle (said in disgust) give him a look when he maneuvers you away from him so he can hold you to him. His hand is on his waist and he pulls you to him, and you let him, Ryles arms dropping away from your shoulders in the process. “What brings you here?” 

Xavier smiles, “I missed you.” 

That got a barrage of squeals from your cousins. One comments, “Oh my god, [Name], maybe you’ll be next in the wedding calendar!” and another goes “Awsh, I wish my boyfriend was that sweet.”

You flush at Xaviers words, and at the comments, lightly punching him. “I was gone for ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes too long.” He’s not even pretending at this point, even though you think that he’s a good actor, and you huff out a laugh. You miss the way Xavier gives Ryle a suspicious side eye, pulling you farther from him. 

“[Name]?” Ryle forces out a laugh, eyes flickering from Xavier’s hand on your waist to you.“ Who’s this?”

You smile, polite and strained, and Xavier subtly glares at him. “My boyfriend, Xavier. Xavi, this is Ryle, an old friend.” 

“Ah, ‘s that so? It’s nice to see you, Ryle.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Ryle gives Xavier a dirty look, and he returns it, proceeding to give you a kiss to your cheek as if to prove his point. 

That does it, and Ryle looks away from you two, quickly excusing himself from the group.

Xavier grins in victory, and glances at you. 

You’re red, eyes wide as you look at him, but you couldn’t break the facade now, could you? So you play it off with a smile and a laugh, opting to instead deal with the squeals of your cousins at his action instead of questioning his actions right then and there. Xavier watches you smile with them, and he internally decides that maybe this pretend boyfriend isn’t it. 

Because he’s too jealous for his own good, you are too pretty for him.

Yeah. Xavier thinks as he stares at you, unaware of the soft look on his face. I don’t think pretending is good for me anymore. 

At that moment, he decides to confess on the way home. 

Pretend boyfriend? Yeah- no. 

He’d much rather be your actual boyfriend. 

RAFAYEL

The moment you asked him in the middle of him working on an art piece, he turned to you and grinned. Wide. 

“You want me to be your boyfriend?”

You roll your eyes. “Pretend. Pretend boyfriend.”

“For how long?”

“A day.” You pause. “Maybe. I don’t know if my parents are going to make me stay longer than I should, so let's say two? Or three.” You turn to Rafayel, eyes pleading. “Raf, please say yes I’m going insane. If I go to that family gathering without a boyfriend again, I’m going to be subjected to 10 aunts, 10 uncles and at least 15 prissy cousins asking me why I’m so single. And I would go home with a stack of cards with their “suggested” boyfriends I can get. Like?? Can they get out of my business?”

That makes him laugh a bit too loud, and he gets a punch to the arm for that. 

“Ow- Ow!! Okay, okay! Yeah sure. I’ll be your pretend boyfriend for how long you need me to.” 

You beam. “Really? Oh my God, thank you SO much, Raf. I promise I’ll make it up to you when this is over.” In your excitement, you pull him in for a tight hug, smile so wide it hurts the muscles in your face. 

You miss the reddening of his ears, and the fond smile that graces his lips.

“Yeah. You better.”

You glare at him and Rafayel just laughs.

It’s a family gathering, one where you had to give Rafayel of your aunts and uncles, cousins. He made a list. A LIST. You gave him an A+ for effort. There was even a quiz night where you gave questions about them and he answered them. Got them all flawlessly. 

Dedicated pretend boyfriend here! The gathering was held at a family member's house, and you told him to dress semi-formal. “They tend to go all out in gatherings like these, so you have to be in semi-formal, or something.”

Rafayel nods, “Alright. What color are you wearing then?”

“Eh?” You blink at him. 

He blinks. “I mean, we can go matching? Won’t that help the act?”

“Oh. Right. Yeah.” You ignore the fluttering in your chest. “Uhmm, just a blue dress, I guess? With a ribbon.”

“Gotcha.” 

You give him a look, “You don’t have something to match that, right? You really don’t have to go through lengths just to match my outfit.”

Rafayel just grins at you, boyish grin, eyes crinkling, and you want to punch yourself in the face for thinking he looked cute. “Nah. I want to match with you.”

Oh fuck all, you want to kiss him.

You’re kind of regretting asking him to be your pretend boyfriend, because you're pretty sure falling for him in the process was not the plan.

“I don't want to be here.” You grumble to Rafayel. He’s dressed in a dark blue formal top and white pants, matching your light blue and white dress with a cute white bow pulling your hair up. He chuckles, eyes crinkling at you. “[Name], we haven’t even entered yet.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to meet those people! I mean really, Sarah? She’s going to be on my ass for the rest of the night. She hates me for some reason and I lost all the care to even think about why.”

Your pretend boyfriend just laughs, winking at you “Don’t worry, cutie. I’ll do my best to get her off your ass.”

You blush at the nickname but you give him an appreciative smile. “Thanks, Raf.” 

“Babe.”

“What.” You blink. He grins at you, wide and innocent. 

“I’m your boyfriend, right?” He pokes your side. “You’re supposed to call me babe.”

“Right.” You huff. “Okay, babe.” He grins at that, and extends his arm. “Shall we go in?”

You make a face, but nod. “Yeah. Let's go in.”

It’s been okay for the first hour. Introductions were made, and Rafayel was flawless in answering all the questions, you nearly fold and silently wish he really is your boyfriend. The problem arises an hour later, and you were whisked away from Rafayel’s side to talk to your close family. The ones you actually like, and he stays back at the couch, wanting to give you some privacy to catch up with them.

Unfortunately, he senses someone head over to him, and he feels the couch dip. He glances at them to check if the person is here to talk to him and– 

“You must be [Name]’s boyfriend!” Damn. Okay. It's a cousin. Dark hair, high pitched voice, fake smile– ah. Sarah. Rafayel nods, and smiles wide and sweet. “Yep! That’s me.” 

Sarah gives him a rundown gaze, and his smile tightens but he nevertheless appears friendly. She gives him a smirk, tilting her head at him. “Really? What do you see in her?” 

His smile drops and he furrows his brows at her. Irritation and annoyance begins to stir in his chest. “What?”

She continues, tone innocent, but motives certainly obvious. “I mean, like, her? Really? You could do SO much better.” She eyes him, smiling sweetly. “Did she pay you to be here, or what? I wouldn’t put it past her to do that.” 

That does it, and Rafayel’s face hardens.

“How dare you say that about her.” His voice is harsh. “You may be her cousin or whatever, but you do not have the right to say that about my wonderful girlfriend.” His gaze is serious, and it's obvious that he’s ticked. 

Sarah blinks, and nervously chuckles. “Whaat? C’mon I was just stating facts–”

“No. [Name] is a beautiful woman, self-made and confident and I am lucky that she even looked in my direction.” Rafayel doesn’t pause, nor slow down, completely annoyed with the rude insinuations that she made. “She is an amazing woman and an amazing girlfriend. It’s no surprise that you’re jealous of her.”

She gasps, brows furrowing as she tries to retort, but Rafayel continues. “And if you think I’m going to sit here and listen to you rudely insult my girlfriend, then you are very wrong, Karen.” 

Sarah turns red, and she stands up from the couch, furious. “My name is Sarah!” And she turns and stomps away. 

He just watches her with furrowed brows and a frown, before signing back into the couch.

“Wow.”

The shocked tone of your voice makes him jolt up and he turns to see you standing right behind the couch, eyes wide with drinks on both hands. “I’m… wow, Raf. Thats….” 

He covers up the surprise with a grin, “Hey cutie. When’d you get here?” He pats the spot on the couch next to you

“Since Sarah asked if I paid you to be here.” You blink, and take a seat next to him while handing him the drink. 

“Oh yeah. She’s a bitch.”

You laugh. “Yeah. I don’t like her…” You trail off, eyeing Rafayel closely, and he hums, smiling as he tilts his head. 

“What��s wrong, cutie?”

“.. Did you mean that?” You quietly ask, fingers curling on the handle of the cup nervously. “I mean, like, you were very passionate about defending me and…”

“Hey.” Rafayel taps your knee, getting you to lift your gaze. Your breath catches at the serious look in his eyes and he brushes a hand to your cheek. “I was serious. You’re an amazing woman, [Name]. I really was lucky that you even looked in my direction before, hell, you decided to be friends with me.”

You flush, but he continues, “And anyone will be lucky to have you as a girlfriend.” 

A shy smile curls on your lips, and you point out his words, “Look at you? Raf, why would you even think that? I mean, you were a hotshot back in college and…”

His thumb caresses your cheek, and you feel your heartbeat beat a bit faster… then he pulls away and grins at you. You blink, he winks, “I’ll tell you later. We still have an act to play, cutie. Though maybe after we talk later, it won’t be an act, yeah?”

You gape at him, mind racing as you process the meaning of his words, then you flush a bright red. 

Rafayel laughs, you hit his shoulder lightly.

©ahnaiee [do not repost, copy, translate, or modify]

[fandaniel]

@campanellacat hello bo @isabelopaque hello katie. welcome to my lecture about a guy from a mmorpg that i really love that most fans of said mmorpg do not like. this will be multiple paragraphs because IS NOTHING EVER SIMPLE!!!!!! ffxiv spoilers. all that.

to cover some basic set up, fandaniel is a fragmented soul of a man named hermes who lived thousannnnddds of years ago and hermes is humanoid but not Human. he is apart of a ancient race of giant creatures that possessed great magical ability and could shift forms easily. all animals and creation was made by this race, but there was a system in place where every creation would go through approvals and testing before just being set out into the world.

heres the thing. hermes was the overseer of all this testing, he was a very kind man who struggled with the peoples understanding of what was 'living'. often times if any creature presented any problem, a wing damaged, aggression, you name it, they were meant to be killed. people saw creatures they made as creations, if it did not benefit them, better their collective society, it was to be thrown out. as well in this society, there was a lot of social taboos, mostly around being a individual. everyone dressed the same, to express discomfort out of term was socially not. great. for their world is to be perfect.

hermes with this issue of life and what is or isn't living and if there is anything better out there, made meteia, a secondary magic that was highly responsive to emotions. the meteia is a hivemind of birds that can travel into space, read peoples emotions and minds instead of using words. their job is to explore the universe, find any life, how they life, and report back. he let one meteia live with him, he gave her free will to leave, feeling bad about keeping her pinned to earth. her name is meteion! she reports the findings of the other meteias :3

things are fine, he makes meteia in secret (scared of people finding out he is Questioning the world around him), and he keeps on testing creatures on a big sky island with a bunch of other researchers. but then his teacher who took a higher role in government wants to pass on, in their race, death is a choice made by people who think their job is completed, for their soul to be recycled into something new. this idea of Wanting death really fucks with hermes and he tries to deny the role, if he took it, his friend would die. peacefully, but he felt there was so much more in his life he could do.

also, the role is called fandaniel. if you worked in government in this society, you were called the role you are instead of your name. why its called fandaniel?? i dont know. just a reference to final fantasy xii and as far as i know has no connection to xiv.

also there is some time jumping stuff, timeline stuff in a 'this always happened this way' thing. but your character from the future goes to the past to learn what the fuck fandaniel (hermes) did to doom the world in the future sooo much. it is also generally odd because hermes is. as i will use a photo from the lore book.

hermes is very sweet, quiet, even a bit shy and clumsy at times. compared to fandaniel. (i forget if i took a picture of this but its about the words on the wiki)

after telling a few companions you find while trying to research hermes, you tell them basically i dont know What he did but he is probably going to destroy the world. so. they confront him and hes like huh?? and shortly after meteion starts getting a message from the other meteia. she starts panicking, running away, even trying to kill herself before she can report her message. but everyone tracks her down because what the fuck is your bird doing hermes 🫵 but then hermes runs off with her because theyre 10000% going to fucking kill her.

so you track him down where he ran with her, and the meteia start listing off their report. all life is dead, they felt every emotion of every creature dying out there, plague, famine, war, etc. the meteia tell him there is no meaning to life, there is only death in the end. and everyone outside of him is like hermes. we need to take your bird to be studied. and thus he freaks out, he chains up everyone, letting meteia free to try to kill the world. in his eyes, it was a test of humanity's will to life, just as he did to every creature, it was humanities turn to be tested. he erased everyones memories (including himself, important because he sees it as his right as a person to fight) besides two who got to run away before so.

seeing himself as a failure, not knowing the whole story, he believes genuinely that he killed meteion. its very clear he views her as some kind of daughter. he takes the role of fandaniel, feeling terrible about them coming there to give him that job and seeing him at his worst.

long story short, world gets reallyyyy fucked. the other person who isn't the player (who goes back to the future to give humanity a chance to fight back now knowing what it is attacking them) has to split the world into many, splitting most everyones soul into many smaller souls.

fast forward a few thousand years, hermes soul was one of the souls that was split up into many. he exists as a lead scientist of a highly advance society named the allagan empire. but the issue here is that his society has regressed, there was no motivation, people were cruel for fun, testing on each other and not advancing their empire. to find reason, to find that answer for why we live, he brings back the dead emperor of allag, who tells him there is nothing after life, there is no meaning. the empire fails no matter how hard-- now named amon-- tries to fix it.

one of the people who's soul didn't get split up and lose their memories confronts him, basically, if he assumes his souls role as fandaniel, then he can continue his work, be immortal. and well. he gets aaaall his memories back (including all the stuff with meteion and erasing his memories in the past) and it fucks him up badly to know he doomed the universe and he had no idea how to fix it! nihilism roots deeply. he sees his purpose, the purpose you set for him thousands of years ago, he is the bringer of the end of the world.

once all the other guys who would stand in his way get killed off, he sets his plan in motion. basically, strike as much fear and chaos as possible, make giant scary towers, kidnap people to harvest their emotional negativity, let meteia kill them all. he acts incredibly deranged, unreasonable, he is just like This.

but truly he can't lie to his own nature. there is small hints that he isnt All about this in how he interacts with others. he is a liar to himself. he sees himself in the past as not himself, but a man who ruined his life, doomed to repeat this cycle again and again if he doesn't erase everything. death is a gift in his eyes i believe. and he knows no one will agree with him, and god, he really doesn't want you to agree with him. show him hes wrong. fight back. he has so many chances to stop you but he just doesn't because he wants to know the outcome. a researcher and academic on every level.

and yeah he kills himself in the end but NOT IF I CAN HELP IT!! hes fine. i think the thing that tops this off is that the short story where hermes is unaware of meteion but cant find a answer he is Hopeful even.

plus when you meet him in the afterlife after he kills himself and you fight him again, he is coming to terms that he is just Wrong, he doesn't want you to ever agree with him, or even empathize with him views.

WHATEVER. I LIKE THIS FUCKING FREAK!!! LAYERED!!!!

[cosmotic12xii]

@weirdsillycreature pls dont ignore me im reuploading this because i think my request and message is somehow not visible for you because asstumblr can glitch and making bugs so very sorry for disturbing you but i cant do anything

"We have a lot of troubles with patients right now. Most of them are just unstable, uncontrolable. We was we sure that we could hand the whole mental hospital with ourselves, but now the other situation.

One gentleman named Valentine Butcher that previously sent a big numbers to support our asylum, is wrote me a letter when he was arguing about how he was wishing to help mentally disabled people even for free for last time and why we should approve him to work at/with us. And at the end of letter he placed his phone number and wrote that we can call him if we need new helpers. This is was timed well.

He was really polite while talking with me, even too polite. We are agreed that he will come to the hospital and show me his psychology and treatment education documents, and then the question about admiting him for this job will be closed.

As you can see, he was been accepted... On his fully responsibility is only one of the patient for now – Abie Kessil, but he is also should take a care for the other ones...

• About Abie himself, he is quiet but anxious. To be honest, I don't know, what happened to that guy, he seems to be not just scared, but really doomed here, so I deciced to gift him an plush bunny, that he's carrying with himself in every place he's going, and he even talked to me for a little bit, said that he likes animals and plush toys. He also started sleep better even without medicaments. I think Butcher would be easy with him...

But OK, so, I think I need to say, that I'm actually feel something weird about Valentine. I'm happy, that this man is got job, he is such a positive person, but it's just this suggestion was, roughly speaking, sudden. He was supporting our deal, but never working in it, before this he was a buisnessman and working as him for 9 years, after the time he sent money to us passed 6 years, but he deciced to work as caretaker for unstable people with himself now? Why? What is the reason of this? I'm just interested.

But so this is good deal. Maybe, we'll consider the variant to start founding professional doctors and nurses by announcement".

this all written by albert if something

spoiler valentine is actually an horrible in psychology and thinks that mental illiness are maded up just for justification so hes gonna act like the patients are pretenting to be poor and he would try to make them comunicate and making things that is dangerous for them and saying like you mr patient is normal NOOORMAAAL instead of treat them lmao and his documents are professionaly faked

Profile:

Name: Valentine Butcher:

Age: 44 years old:

Gender: Male:

Species: Human:

Nation: American:

Characteristics: Stubborn, dumb, caring, trustless.

Interests: Phillosophy, theorizing, science.

cccan he be iiin yyyour rrp univversse kkkanddie chchan

[lordgeneralsix]

Erik taking his revenge on Hans for Henry killing Istvan, a life for a life, obviously is something we all think about for angst reasons for both couples, as we should. The parallels are very important.

but I think we are all sleeping on Erik hurting Henry’s other living family, picking away at them until Henry is just as alone as Erik is. I mean you can do so much with that. Erik killing Henry’s family (like Istvan killed his). Erik wreaking bloody revenge on the father who failed to raise Henry (the opposite of the pseudo father/mentor Istvan) Erik going after John, after any survivors of Kuttenberg, after the members of the Devil’s Pack, taking out everyone Henry has fought along side, before finaly going after Theresa (all that remains of Skalitz) Samuel (the brother who Henry so dearly wanted, the last piece of Martin, the sword for the Son, I have Erik and Sam thoughts, as a Sam Whump Enthusiast I approve this message) before finaly going after Hans. And as the killings get closer and closer to Henry, the cracking of his psyche as more and more deaths are on his name.

Henry has other people to love. Erik had Only Istvan. But the more you have, the more you have to loose.

damn, that's fucked up and true........ :) on one hand I definitely feel like erik is too hellbent on getting henry or his lover first, and I'm not sure he'd stand a chance against the devil's pack on his own (a whole other thing too bc it's def possible depending) but my god would it be crazy to see him try (I am rooting for him sorry guys)... it's like I said,, he'd burn the world and then himself, no one is safe now that the only person who made the world bearable is gone. I do love erik but watching him go ballistic in a hypothetical kcd3 would be a religious experience actually. thank you for the food<3

(but my writer brain is torn between wondering if this is the path he's doomed to stay on or if there's any space for... well I don't want to say redemption but something... he doesn't deserve the life he got ykwim. plus they kept him alive for a reason and its going to haunt me lol. thinking thoughts about that and many other things. a whole other conversation when they develop further)

(also I would love to hear your erik and sam/other sam thoughts, feel free to send em here or dm me if you feel comfortable w that)

[onioety]

Okay!!! I'm fucking around with searches on the thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com's computer. I'll keep this thing updated with everything I find!!

(Disclaimer: typing names several times can change the outcomes)

List below!!

-BILL: either jazz triangle YouTube video or a Wikipedia link to eye triangle dollar bill things.

-MCGUCKET: cottoned eye Joe video on YouTube.

-MABEL: stickers will get sticked in the lab until 'lab now fully mabelized' appears on the pc's screen.

-DIPPER: Note from Bill asking him to stare 13 hours at the sun to develope powers to see 'special sun ink'. If you keep clicking, more notes appear saying you're on the right path. Gradually, the notes will get black (you're blind)

-STAN: HERE ME OUT THIS ONE IS MARVELOUS. The first searches will lead you to eBay and different random objects related to Stan (8 ball, rings, compression vest, hat, bow...). If you keep going you'll be able to see this (I love Stanley he's my baby):

Here you can take a look at a TON of random Stan-related things. Special mention to one of Stan's fear being having very small fingertips. I'll never be over it.

-DIVORCE/BREAKUP: THE FUCKING O'SADLEYS SIGN. I'M.

-BOYFRIEND: the romance book.

No because maybe there's more to this... 'there's three sides to every story'. Yes, triangle, love triangle, it's a very good pun. But we had Ford's POV in Diaries 3 and Bill's in the book of Bill. Thinking thoughts.

-GIDEON: sweat resistant bolo ties search on Google.

-TRIANGLE: ')' and 'tri harder'

-ALEX: flannel search on google

-PORTAL: 'portal.exe has been deleted. I bet you could build one'

-GRAVITY FALLS: 'never heard of it'

-FORD/SIXER: 18th y.o Ford's hand radiography. Weird something written I cannot really tell?? H8T0? HBT0? HBTO? H8TO?

-WENDY: 👌

-SOOS: some notes written down by him. Claims that when looking at the book everything glitches and he just sees 'HE'S UNCORRUPTABLE'.

-PIÑATA: video of a girl punching a Bill-shaped piñata.

-ABUELITA: vacuum cleaner commercial spot on YouTube.

-Any insult: soap image, angry message. They do not approve us.

-LIES: okay I find this specially important because the book is very introspective and gives out a lot of info about Bill but we all know he's an unreliable narrator. He rants about post-truth, scientism and superstition (very cool and interesting philosophical topics if I may say). But it's specially interesting when it comes to understanding Bill and his mindset. Lie until what you want becomes true, which can't. Lie until you can't remember what's a lie and what isn't. Reality is doomed, if you can't physically escape, do so in your mind. Lie until you aren't lying anymore. Reality is a compendium, and ultimate construct, a truth of lies, a possibility among endless. Lies are truths

-GOD: video of an axolot swimming with a Bill figurine made out of rock.

-HEY NERD: advertisement

-EVEN HIS LIES ARE LIES:

SORRY: Old picture of Fiddleford and Stanford back in college :(

ONE EYED KING: fucking morse code. Took me some minutes to catch it: -./.-/../-/.../..-/.-/..-.

Resulting in: NAITSUAF. If you enter this word as a new code, you'll see a page with a contract and terms of service to sell your soul. It has a code that translates to: 'you're now twenty one grams lighter'.

[snarkformysanity]

Twilight Chapter 6

So, we open this chapter with a bit of a recap of what happened last chapter. Then, Jessica is interrogating Bella about Edward sitting with her at lunch.

“You know, I’ve never seen [Edward] sit with anyone but his family before. That was weird.”

There's always got to be some sort of exceptionalism to the way the love interest treats the protagonist. Their interest is never allowed to be unremarkable. Because she's just that special, you see. And if his interest wasn't exceptional, then we might run the risk of it not being their One True Love (bc as we know you only get one, ever), and we simply cannot have that.

[Jessica] seemed annoyed; she flipped her dark curls impatiently—I guessed she’d been hoping to hear something that would make a good story for her to pass on.

And the girl-on-girl hate! Can't forget that.

Bella mopes about Edward not being there, while everyone else talks about their upcoming trip to the beach. We also get yet more girl-on-girl hate, this time from Lauren towards Bella. Because she's jealous that Bella sat with Edward, obviously. It's always because they're jealous of our poor, put-upon protagonist. Bella hates her right back, though, so we get hatred all around!

That night at dinner, Charlie seemed enthusiastic about my trip to La Push in the morning.

Aww, look at Charlie, trying. He doesn't know he's a parent in a YA book, and they are doomed to always be useless. They just Don't Understand. To make sure he stays useless, Bella makes sure to tell us that she's not going to tell him about her plans to go to Seattle with Edward, as she's certain he wouldn't approve. This, Bella, is why they'll never find your body. And is also an awful message to be sending to teenage girls. But, YA is absolutely stuffed full of awful messages.

Bella casually asks Charlie what he knows about the place Edward said he was camping.

“It’s not a very good place for camping.” He sounded surprised. “Too many bears. Most people go there during the hunting season.”

See, if the book hadn't been so heavy-handed with its hints up until now, this one could have been a decently subtle hint that something wasn't quite right with Edward. Alas.

The next day, it is indeed sunny, and Bella goes to meet the other kids from school, secretly hoping Edward appears. He does not. We get even more girl-on-girl hate from our Mean Girl troupe and more of Bella shoving Jessica in Mike's face even though he's clearly not interested in her.

We get a very lengthy description of the beach.

Mike kneeled by the fire, lighting one of the smaller sticks with a cigarette lighter.

A cigarette lighter strikes me as an odd choice to light a bonfire with. You've got to basically have your hand in it for the flame to reach, and the kindling will go up pretty quickly, no? Surely a long lighter with a handle would be safer? Also, why does Mike have a cigarette lighter? Does he smoke?

Oh, I see, he's lighting individual sticks and then placing them in the larger fire. Still.

Some of the other kids want to go to the tide pools.

It was a dilemma. On the one hand, I loved the tide pools.

Do you, Bella? It's the first we're hearing of it. All your complaining before was about how Forks uniformly sucked, with 0 redeeming features. You can't just go declaring stuff like this now. At least, not if you want us to be invested in your "dilemma", that is. The other half of the dilemma is of course how she's clumsy and will fall in, mostly so she can remind us that Edward asked her not to fall in and thus shoehorn his name into the chapter some more.

But, Bella decides to go, and we get some descriptions of the tide pools.

I was completely absorbed [watching the pools], except for one small part of my mind that wondered what Edward was doing now,

Bella, he's not even here. Please. You're allowed to just think about the fish for a bit. But, apart from that, not much else happens at the tide pools.

When we got back to First Beach, the group we’d left behind had multiplied.

Love triangle starting in 3... 2...

As we got closer we could see the shining, straight black hair and copper skin of the newcomers, teenagers from the reservation come to socialize. [...] Angela and I were the last to arrive, and, as Eric said our names, I noticed a younger boy sitting on the stones near the fire glance up at me in interest. [...] the boy who noticed me was named Jacob.

Yes, there he is, the other side of our love triangle, one of the most-decried tropes to have been popularised by Twilight, I think. I don't need to tell you all the books that copied it. It may have even been required to be published in YA at the time, with how tacked-on some of them felt. But, this one has fallen well out of fashion now, to the extent that it kinda feels too far in the other direction imo - there's no semblance of competition/doubt about who's going to end up together, but books still want there to be tension, so the pair just simply Cannot Be Together for vague and ill-defined Reasons. If they even bother giving reasons, instead of just assuming the Forbidden Romance trope will carry itself with no explanation. Looking at you, Crescent City.

And then, Bella has positive things to say about another girl! Mostly that said other girl (Angela) doesn't talk to her, which is... something.

And I was thinking about how disjointedly time seemed to flow in Forks, passing in a blur at times, with single images standing out more clearly than others. And then, at other times, every second was significant, etched in my mind. I knew exactly what caused the difference, and it disturbed me.

Disturbs me too. If you ever find yourself measuring time based solely on the absence or presence of another person, it's time to step back a bit, I think. Make some more friends. Get some hobbies. Touch grass. All that good stuff. This reeks of co-dependence and they haven't even admitted they like each other yet.

...Lauren and Tyler occupying themselves by the CD player...

Ahhh, the 00s. I had a CD player. It's actually probably still at my parents' house, come to think of it. Wonder if it still works...

Then, Jacob comes to sit next to her so we can kick off the love triangle proper.

His skin was beautiful, silky and russet-colored;

And here we find an example of a common trope that Twilight *doesn't* fall into - describing POC skin tones with food analogies. It used "copper-coloured" before as well, which is also not a food. Credit where credit is due, I suppose.

Bella didn't recognise who Jacob was (the son of Billy Black, her dad's friend), because he was the youngest of the children and Bella used to hang out with his sisters when she visited Forks instead (well, was made to hang out with his sisters - can't have any actual female friends, after all).

She and Jacob chat for a bit, and while it's nice to see her have an actual conversation with someone (and it's even a vaguely natural-sounding conversation, unlike her talks with Edward), it is pretty much entirely small talk. The only thing worse than participating in IRL small talk is being forced to participate in fictional small talk by proxy. There's also more random mean-girl-ness from Lauren, which is pointless. Well, not completely pointless, she brings up the Cullens so that the werewolves Quileute boys can react Badly.

“The Cullens don’t come here,” [the unnamed leader] said in a tone that closed the subject,

The tone might close it, but the words sure don't. Being cryptic makes people want to know more about something, not less. And, of course, that's just what happens with Bella. And thus, she hatches her brilliant plan to get information about Edward out of Jacob.

I hoped that young Jacob was as yet inexperienced around girls, so that he wouldn’t see through my sure-to-be-pitiful attempts at flirting.

Notably absent is any indication of why she needs to go about it this way. She hasn't asked him anything yet, so it's not like he was refusing to answer questions or anything. She just... randomly decides she needs to seduce him into telling her. Presumably just to get the love triangle going.

Naturally, it works, of course, despite Bella's attempts to assure us it will be pitiful. Everyone loves Bella Sue, after all. We get a detailed description of just how she goes about seducing him, too. But yeah, it works, and he agrees to tell her about why the Cullens aren't allowed on the reservation.

“Do you like scary stories?” he asked ominously. “I love them,” I enthused, making an effort to smolder at him.

All I can picture is Bella trying to smoulder like Flynn Rider, and it makes the scene 300% better ngl.

Jacob starts telling her about Quileute legends.

“Well, there are lots of legends, some of them claiming to date back to the Flood—

Random tangent - flood myths are actually super, super common in many cultures all around the world, way too common to be a coincidence. Some theorise that it may be part of a broader common human mythology, over a hundred thousand years old, buried deep in all our psyches. Cool stuff.

“Then there are the stories about the cold ones.”

Dun dun dun!

“Werewolves have enemies?” “Only one.”

For clarity, he's talking about the legend-werewolves, not the actual werewolves (yet). But, yeah. While I'm 99.9% sure Twilight didn't start the whole vampies-vs-werewolves thing, it definitely popularised it in the immediate aftermath. Shadowhunters have a similar thing, for example.

But, yes, Jacob spends far too many words telling Bella that the Cullens are vampires, and that the reason they can't come to the reservation is because of a treaty his great-grandfather made with them.

“So do you think we’re a bunch of superstitious natives or what?” he asked in a playful tone, but with a hint of worry.

I mean, superstitious natives is kinda bad enough trope-wise (even if they're right), but with the whole turning-into-wolves thing, the Quileutes are playing the Magical Indian trope completely straight. Maybe not as bad as, say, House of Night, but it's still there. Not being (or appearing to be, at least) racist wasn't as trendy in the 00s as it is now. Though I'm pretty sure this shit still hasn't died. Just better disguised, usually.

Mike and Jessica come to collect Bella, and she and Jacob part ways.

“You should come see me in Forks. We could hang out sometime.” I felt guilty as I said this, knowing that I’d used him.

Well, at least she admits it. Not that there'll be any consequences for it, of course. The love triangle doesn't count. And speaking of love triangles:

But I really did like Jacob. He was someone I could easily be friends with.

This is the reason it's such an annoying trope, apart from being overplayed. There is always, always an obvious winner, and the other one is only there for the sake of the trope. Jacob has been friendzoned before it's even really begun, so how are we ever supposed to really see him as a threat to Bella/Edward? Same deal with Clary/Jace/Simon in TMI, and Katniss/Peeta/Gale in THG. About the only love triangle I've seen done well was in the Trylle trilogy by Amanda Hocking - both guys get a pretty fair shot there, and the deterioration of her relationship with the loser was both realistic and natural-feeling.

But, yes, Bella leaves with Mike and Jessica, and that's the chapter.

[butchmariuspontmercy]

Hi! So, I'm thinking of using your webweaving on "Doomed from the Start" in a paper I'm writing for my Lit PhD, which is on fatalism and trauma and tragedies occurring with teenage girls. I wanted to get your approval; Also, if you feel comfortable, what's your full name? You can just message me it so that I can cite the source properly lol

omg!!! of course, go ahead!! what an honor :3. i’ll message you

[sulphuryasecretcloset]

What if... Family Portrait

(Excuse me while I DIE because the art deity @cacodaemonia​ was so incredibly kind to create a What-If version of the Fearsome Four pic that Davarax took before he was ripped away from them. Well, here you have the Devoted Dad, Mama Bear, and their Fearsome Five! The cuteness, the adorableness, the PERFECTION is killing me! Davarax’ and Dulcy’s smiles (his slightly slanted grin and her big happy one, aaaah) and their hair (I worship the floof!) and their eyes (So kind, how??) and their armour (sessayh!) and... *flails* All of it!! And sweet, adorable, big eyed Corin, still a little more timid than his rambunctious siblings... PERFECT, I SAY! And to think this is what Corin could have had... Well, in the What-if, this is what he does have!)

A hundred years ago, I promised Davarax’ POV when Dulcy was kidnapped. Apologies for the unforgivably long wait, but I hope the fact that it was meant to be four pages and ended up closer to thirteen can make up for it a little?

-

What If... we saw it through Davarax’ eyes?

Davarax lowers Zurf to the floor with his grip on his wrist instead of slamming him to the ground like he usually does after managing to flip him over. Letting go, he then backs up, lifts his hands into the air to acknowledge the roar of approval from the other seven Mandalorians present in the training room and nods at the mix of praise aimed his way and the mockery flying Zurf’s way.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Belitz calls out, gesturing for everyone to settle down while he walks towards Davarax. “What was that, Davarax?”

Grinning, Davarax starts backing towards the exit. “That? That I believe was a win.”

“Since when do you coddle your opponent?” Belitz demands to know and follows, trailing after the scent of possible juicy news like a Corellian hound. “What’s up with you?”

“I’m not allowed to be in a good mood?” Davarax drawls, still grinning, still backing up.

“I’ve experienced you in a good mood.” Belitz states. “This is not you in a good mood. You in a good mood is merely spraining bones instead of breaking them. This? This is something else. What happened?”

Davarax snorts amused. He will die before he tells them anything.

“It’s that woman, isn’t it? The outsider.” Pagyle shouts from the other side of the room. Her voice soaked with glee. “She’s got you soft.”

Finally reaching the exit, Davarax does an extravagant bow. “I win. I leave. See you tomorrow, losers.” And then he flees, laughing out loud at the wave of questions and suggestive howling that follows him.

They are right and they are wrong. Wrong, because Davarax ‘is’ in a good mood. Extremely good mood. Honestly, he’s drunk on happiness. And his sparring partners are right, because he does owe the glow in his chest and the smile on his lips to Dulsissia.

Davarax can’t stop himself from bringing up the memory of her looking at him with open affection, the sensation of her fingers braiding with his, as well as the lazy bliss of just having her close and feeling her breathe. And that was just the memories from last night.

He’s never felt anything like this for anyone before. He’s never met anyone like her before.

Over a year with him on a different planet and yet Dulsissia had waited for him. Davarax doubts she knows how much her messages had helped him through that year. She has no idea how many times he replayed those holos during the moments when the darkness curled up in his chest from missing her and his other three kids so much he could barely breathe. How he dreaded what he would come back home to. Every day he woke up thinking that would be the day he learned he’d lost her.

Davarax had believed her when Dulsissia said she’d wait, but life happens and he wouldn’t have blamed her if she had found someone else… but she didn’t. She kept the children safe, handled life in the Covert like she’d grown up there and welcomed him back like she had missed him every bit as much as he’d missed her. If anything, it seems like her feelings for him were even stronger.

It gives him hope. Maybe one day, please let it happen, he’ll be able to defeat the demons from her past, rebuild the trust Macero Valentis had shattered, and take his helmet off for her.

Davarax’ happiness lasts until there is a knock on his door, hours later as he’s about to get ready for the day’s training session with the children, and he opens it to find Corin and Din looking up at him with almost identical anxious facial expressions.

“Is… Is my mom here?” Corin asks in a thin voice.

Davarax frowns. “No?” It’s late afternoon, a time she usually spends with her son, and he hasn’t seen her since she left his room last night. “Why are you asking?”

Corin fidgets. “Me and Din were working on a project with Barthor. Mom was supposed to come pick me up, but she never showed. A-and when we went back to my room, she wasn’t there either.”

Unease instantly coils around Davarax’ heart. There is no way Dulsissia would forget picking up Corin. She wouldn’t. If something came up, something so serious it couldn’t wait, she would have asked Davarax or someone else to bring a message to Corin and make sure he was okay.

Something is wrong.

-

Corin and Din already look horribly nervous and as Davarax doesn’t want to upset them further he keeps his thoughts to himself. He clears his throat and tries to sound calm. “Okay, listen…” Davarax tries to think and not just react. “I’ll ask around. She probably got caught up in something.” He considers his options and gestures the boys inside. “You two wait here. Okay?”

Sniffling, Corin seems to be very much aware of the seriousness of the situation and simply stands there, head lowered, until Din places his arm around him and leads him into the room.

Davarax takes a step out but pauses to look back at the boys. “And, uh, don’t touch the weapons.” While he trusts them, he also can’t ignore the fact that there are explosives in his room strong enough to send them all to Mandalore That Was.

Din nods. Corin merely sniffles again.

Davarax rushes towards the people he knows Dulcy has the most contact with. Decco hasn’t seen her all day, neither had the next one he asks, but then he gets his first lead.

“I think she went above?” Ayah says, shrugging. “I saw her walking down the hallway with that basket of hers this morning.”

This makes the unease grow stronger. Davarax stalks towards the stairs and enters the city above to set course to where he knows she usually sets up her little stand to sell her cookies.

The sun is shining over Nevarro, the HUD lists the temperatures uncomfortably high, so it shouldn’t be surprising that few people are walking around, but it still fuels Davarax’ unease and makes him wonder if something had scared people indoors. He pauses for half a second when he turns the corner and sees she’s not there. Dulcy is not in her spot. There’s not a single soul in the street. His heart drops. Cold sweat starts to break out at the back of his neck. She’s not there! But, his eyes focuses on the ground, but there is ‘something’ there…

Walking over, Davarax kneels down. He reaches down and brushes some sand away so he can pick up what had caught his attention.

It’s a piece of a cookie.

Staring at it, Davarax swallows down his ever increasing sense of doom and forces himself to look around on the ground. He sees more pieces. Like someone had dropped a bag of them on the ground and then stepped on it. His heartbeats feel like punches inside his chest. Fear. Raw fear. What had happened here?

“Are you looking for the nice cookie lady?” A voice asks.

Davarax looks up and sees a scruffy mercenary standing a small distance away, leaning against the wall next to him and munching away on a cookie with the few teeth he has left. Davarax stands up and drops the piece he had been holding. “Yes. Have you seen her?”

The mercenary nods, chewing thoughtfully. “She was her earlier.”

“Did you see where she went?” Davarax asks.

“The Imp took her away.” A different voice replies. It’s another mercenary. She has a small bag of Dulcy’s cookies hanging from her belt, next to grenades and what looks like small bones. She has more teeth than the other guy. A lot more teeth. Sharp ones.

“What Imp?” Davarax presses on, refusing to acknowledge how panic is starting to set in. He’d told Dulcy she was safe. He’d told her not to be afraid of going into the city because they’d know if Valentis showed up. Had Macero Valentis taken her away?

“An officer.” The first mercenary replies. “He had a whole bunch of those stormtroopers with him. Nothing we could do.” A slight frown settles between his eyebrows. “Seemed like she knew him.”

Davarax closes his eyes, forces himself to stay calm despite being horrified and enraged at the same time, then he exhales and opens them again. “Did you see where they were going?”

“The army base.” The second mercenary informs him. “I hope you find her. She’s nice.”

Thanking them, Davarax heads below again and finds the one responsible for supervising the information coming in about the Imperial movement on the planet. It is another test of his willpower when he learns that he wasn’t warned because he’d told them to keep an eye out for someone who asked around about Dulcy and Corin or the arrival of a man by the name of Macero Valentis. No one had asked around about Dulcy and Corin,  and Davarax had said nothing about a Vecon Valentis. They also inform Davarax that Vecon Valentis’ ship had left in a hurry hours ago.

Seething, Davarax barely resists unleashing his anger on these idiots, who probably weren’t too concerned about the safety of an outsider, and he stalks off to the one with the power to do something about this nightmare.

His sister.

-

Stepping into the Forge, smacking his hand on the button to close the door, Davarax does not kneel down. His heart his thumping like crazy. Dulcy is okay. Yeah, she’s okay. Dulcy is tough. She can handle herself until he can get to her. Please let her be okay. She has to be. Davarax yanks off his helmet. “The Imps got Dulcy.”

His sister pauses in her work, the golden helmet turns and her expressionless t-visor looks at him. “I was just informed.”

Davarax takes a step forward. “We have to go after them.”

There is a moment of silence and then she lowers her hammer and sets it aside. “No.”

Blinking, Davarax did not expect that answer. Okay, she had not been thrilled about Dulcy from the second he’d brought her home, finding her weak and whimsical, but he’d taken it for granted that she’d resent Imps taking someone under her protection. “Why not?”

“She’s an outsider.” His sister replies. Her voice is as emotionless as her helmet. “She’s not a Mandalorian. She’s not a Foundling. She’s not of this Covert. I will not risk the lives of our people for her. That is not the Way.”

Now Davarax is the one who needs a moment of silence and then he finds his voice again. “What about her son?”

“The boy is your Foundling.” Is the flat reply. “According to your reports, he shows promise as a fighter.”

Davarax nods thoughtfully, knowing there is no way he can change her mind. She’s not someone who changes her mind. He should know. “I will make arrangements that he’ll be taken care of if I don’t return.” He turns to leave.

“Where are you going?” Now there is a hint of sharpness in her voice.

Davarax stops, stares at the door and tries to sort out what he’s feeling. It’s like there is an imploding star inside his chest. It’s hard to breathe. “I’m going after her.”

“You are not.” That is an order.

“I am.” Davarax turns to face his sister again. He can’t lose Dulcy. He won’t. He refuses!

“You are staying here.”

“Or what?” Davarax snarls viciously, stepping forward, hands clenching and pure rage burning in his eyes.

She lifts her hands and removes her helmet. Her dark eyes and strong cheekbones, her hair that mix of brown and red, so similar to their mother she could be her twin. There is no mercy in her gaze. “You are staying here, brother. You are not going after her. She will lead you to your death.”

Davarax does not back down one inch. She was always meant to be the one to follow in their parents footsteps and he was to be her general, but this is an order he will not obey. “I love her vod. There is only one way you can stop me and you know it.” She is going to have to beat him unconscious and he will fight her with everything he’s got. “Try it!”

Her eyes narrow a tiny bit. For her, that is a huge red flag, revealing just how angry she is. Despite her detachment to most things, Davarax knows she loves him. She lets him get away with so much, stuff no other Mandalorian would dare to try under her rule, and she will knock him out if she thinks it will save his life.

But he will never forgive her if she stops him from saving Dulcy, his heart and future, and his sister must know this because she simply puts her helmet back on and turns away from him.

She won’t stop him, but he’s on his own. It hurts, but he’s not surprised.

Davarax puts his own helmet back on and walks out of the room.

-

Davarax is shaking. His head and his heart is in complete chaos.

He’s dreading what Dulcy is going through. Guilt is ripping him apart. She’d trusted him and now she is being brought back to the man who had almost ruined her and her son. Macero’s temper must be terrible, judging by how terrified she’d been when she thought he’d found them due to that lone stormtrooper, and Davarax can barely breathe when thinking about what the man will do to her if he gets his hands on her.

Davarax fights air into his lungs. Focus. He cannot undo what has happened, he needs to focus on what he can do. He needs his weapons and he has to explain to Corin what has happened and...

Davarax marches back to his room.

“Uncle Vecon…?” Corin goes pale as a sheet. His eyes fill up with more tears and his little frame start to tremble. “He’s… He’s going to take mom back to father. And he’s going to be sooo angry…”

“Hey.” Davarax takes a gentle hold of his shoulder and makes the boy look up at him. “Corin, listen to me, I won’t let that happen. Understand? I’m going to get your mom back. I promise you.” Corin looks up at him with complete trust despite the fear in his eyes. So young and yet painfully aware of the horrors his father is capable of. “You promise?”

Davarax nods, struggling to hide how much he wants to kill Corin’s father. The Galaxy would be a better place with one less monster in it. He pulls the boy in close and hugs him. “I promise.” And he fully intends to keep that promise. “But for me to do this, I need you to do me a huge favour.”

Nodding, Corin absently wipes a runaway tear from his face. “Okay.”

“What do you need us to do?” Din asks, ready to be Corin’s support pillar and Davarax feels a stab of pride as well as affection for the boy. His brave Foundling. Despite the horror he went through himself not too many years ago, Din doesn’t hesitate to support his friend. Like a true Mandalorian.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.” Davarax doesn’t want to mention the possibility he might not come back at all. They are worried enough. “I need Corin to stay with… a friend of mine until I get back.”

Din lowers his gaze, knowing Davarax is not talking about his parents as they have made it clear they do not like outsiders and consider Corin very much as one. “I’ll… come along. Make sure he settles in.” “Thank you.” Davarax says. He’s not entirely thrilled about what he’s about to do, but it’s his least bad option out of a bunch of worse options. “Corin, let’s go by your room and pick up some stuff for a couple of days. Okay? We have to hurry.” Corin nods, meek and affable. He’s horribly pale and looks heartbreakingly shaken, but he is holding himself together despite having lost the person who means the most to him. He’s stronger than he knows, Davarax muses. One day that boy will grow up to be a powerful warrior.

They pick up some clothes and Corin’s datapad. Davarax notices a small pile of Din’s clothing lying on a chair in a corner and wonders just how much time the kid spends with Dulcy and Corin. Then they make their way down the hallway and head towards a door he really does not want to approach.

Davarax pushes the button to signal his presence. He doesn’t want to use the comm system and risk being shut down.

Nothing.

Sighing, Davarax pushes again. He doesn’t have time for this. Every second wasted means that Valentis guy dragging Dulcy farther and farther away and closer to her former husband.

Finally the door slides open and Davarax forces his spine straight. “I need a favour.”

A heavy silence follows before there is a slight shake of a blue helmet as if to reboot his brain before he’s able to speak. “You. You are asking Dez Vizla for a favour?”

Corin and Din exchange looks behind Davarax and he can almost hear what the kids are thinking. Why on earth would he bring Corin to Dez Vizla?

Well, Barthor’s parents would never agree to take him in. Neither would Din’s parents. And while the Saxons would say yes, he’s not entirely sure Corin would survive that. Decco’s illness causes days when she has no energy and might soon end her days all together. The Fighting Corps are constantly on the move and its members have no stability for a child. Dez Vizla may be an uptight and pompous jerk who likes to talk about himself in the third person and unfortunately treats his son like an adult instead of a child, but he rarely leaves the Covert, guards his wards with his life and will never turn his back on a Foundling in need. Plus, in his quarters, Corin will also have Paz to look after him day and night. Hopefully the stay won’t be for too long, but at least Corin will be safe and cared for.

“I need you to look after Corin for a bit.” Davarax says, trying to sound calm and confident.

Dez snorts a haughty laugh. “What?” He shakes his head again, still struggling to believe what he’s hearing. “You want… What?”

“Dulcy got snatched by Imps. They took her away.” Davarax explains in a tight voice, trying hard not to upset Corin. “I’m going to get her back.” He switches to Mando’a and hopes Corin doesn’t understand what he’s saying next. ”This is serious, Dez. I need your help. Keep him safe?”

Dez stares at him for a while, entirely still and unreadable, before he finally sighs and takes a step to the side to let Corin enter. “Get inside, boy. Now.”

Corin freezes, panics, and looks up at Davarax. As expected, he responds badly to Dez’ rough personality. Davarax is about to speak but Din beats him to it.

Din gives Corin a light nudge. “I’ll come with you. It’s okay.” He sends Dez a challenging look.

Dez snorts again, amused by the glare, and gives a nod. Fine. Din can come too.

Relieved, Davarax sees the two shuffle into the Vizla quarters and tells himself it won’t be the last time he sees them. He’s going to get Dulcy and then they will all be together again.

-

Davarax grabs his weapons and as many grenades and explosives as he can before he sets course for the Razor Crest. His heart is still thumping so hard he can almost feel it battering against the inside of his breastplate.

If Macero Valentis is a monster, his brother might be too. What if he has hurt Dulcy? What is she thinking about right now? Does she think Davarax has abandoned her or does she find comfort in the knowledge that he’ll come for her? Is she afraid? She’s tough, no doubt about that, but courage is not the absence of fear. Only a fool would not feel fear at times. And the mere thought of her being afraid burns Davarax’ heart like acid.

Lost in a hurricane of thoughts and emotions, Davarax doesn’t hear the voice calling out his name and is a bit startled when someone grabs him just as he’s about to step outside of the Covert. Snapping his visor over, Davarax is surprised to find Paz there.

“Is it true?” Paz says, breathless and agitated. “Dulcy’s gone? The Imps got her?”

Davarax exhales. “Yeah…” He has to gather himself and appear calm once again, not wanting to worry Paz either. “But I’m going to get her back. Don’t worry. You just make sure Corin is okay.”

Paz gulps for air as his agitation increases. “I’m coming with you.”

“What? No.” Davarax blinks when the boy bolts by him and stalks out of the Covert. “Paz! Paz, get back here.”

Marching towards the Razor Crest, Paz doesn’t slow down. “I’m coming with you!”

Davarax curses and trots after him, trying to persuade him to go back. Paz makes it all the way inside the ship’s cargo hold before Davarax loses his patience and grabs his arm.

“Paz, I don’t have time for this!” Davarax makes Paz’ visor focus on him. “Dulcy is in serious trouble. These Imps are dangerous.”

“I can fight!” Paz snaps back at him, his voice both angry and shaking.

“I know you can fight.” Davarax reassures him, a little impatiently. “But you are not coming with me. Go home, Paz. Look after Corin. And the others. Go!”

“No!” Paz shouts, but his next words are soft and broken. “She has to come back. She has to.” He struggles to keep speaking. “She’s always so nice to me. To all of us.”

“I know…” Davarax whispers. Paz had been abandoned by his birth mother all those years ago and now he is ready to rush into battle and get himself killed to avoid losing Dulcy. The only woman who had cared enough to act like an actual mother to him. “I’m going to get her back, Paz. I promise. But I have to go now.”

“I’m going with you.” Paz repeats in a stubborn reply.

Sighing, Davarax knows more words are pointless. While the helmet hides Paz’ face, he knows the boy well enough to hear in his voice and read from his body language when he’s too determined to be persuaded otherwise. “Go home, Paz.” He tightens his grip on his arm and drags him out of the ship, kicking and screaming.

Paz’ fury is frightful and Davarax is fairly certain if the boy had a weapon; he would have shot Davarax when he lifts the ramp and blocks him out of the ship. He might not forgive Davarax for this, but he will be safe and alive. And that is what Dulcy would want too.

Dulcy…

-You and Corin are safe here, he’d told her.

She had trusted him when he’d said they’d know if there was danger nearby. He’d told her those words because he’d believed them too. He’d failed to take idiocy and dislike towards outsiders into consideration. The idiots hadn’t meant for any harm to come to her, they just didn’t put any effort into the safety of an outsider.

She’s okay. Dulcy has to be okay. Davarax will get to her long before Macero Valentis does. He will. He won’t fail her, or the children, not as long as he breathes. Davarax had given up on having a family of his own beyond what time he was allowed to spend with his treasured troublemakers and he had settled for being a provider for other families instead, but then Dulcy entered his life and everything changed.

Davarax’ hands shake as he starts up the Razor Crest, driven by red hot fury at the ones who had taken Dulcy away and cold dark despair at the thought of her surrounded by enemies.

He’s going to get her back.

-

Going after the Imp ship is part guessing, part experienced calculations and part luck. There is no way for Davarax to know their exact route or destination as he has no clue where Macero Valentis is currently located, but he knows which routes are most commonly used by Imps ships as he tends to avoid them like the plague and he has contacts to ask along the way.

It feels strange to deliberately enter areas where he is bound to meet Imp ships.

Constant attacks has left the Imp army jumpy so there are a couple of ships who take his presence and him scanning them the wrong way. The Razor Crest has to make a run for it several times and ends up with scorch marks on her hull, but that’s not enough to make Davarax stop.

He can’t.

Eventually Davarax manages to lock on to the one moving against the stream of Imp ships and with single-minded determination as if there is some place it needs to be and as fast as possible. He can’t be sure, but his heart tells him he’s found his prey and Davarax always trusts his instincts.

Unaware of baring his teeth like a furious beast and the muscles in his neck and shoulders tensing up, Davarax can only register one thought: the hunt has begun.

Food and sleep have become a distant memory on this trip. When did he eat or sleep last? Yesterday? The day before? He can’t remember and Davarax doesn’t care. He simply keeps pushing the Razor Crest and himself to catch up with the Imp ship before it reaches the clutches of Macero Valentis.

Eventually he does catch up with the ship.

Others tend to shake their head at Davarax’ attachment to the Razor Crest, but he knows what she’s capable of and how to us her strengths in ways that his enemies never expect. People underestimate his ship all the time and Davarax hopes they continue to do so – as it makes his victories all the more sweeter and drastically reduces the risk to his life and his ship’s safety.

When the Imp ship slows down, for whatever reason, Davarax goes for it.

Setting loose two decoys with signals meant to impersonate much larger ships than the Razor Crest, Davarax gives a powerful boost with his engine before powering down and hoping the forward momentum will bring him to where he needs to go; the landing dock on the Imp ship’s left flank.

It’s a move he’s only done twice before and he succeeded once, but Davarax decides to risk it.

Dulcy is right there. In that ship. And Macero Valentis is not, or there would have been a second ship to accompany them. There is still time to get her back.

The Razor Crest does not fail him. She slides through the darkness, under the Imp ship’s radar and drowsy attention, their arrogance brought on by them thinking themselves superior in every way can be quite helpful, and once she’s powered back up it only takes the gentlest of nudges to make her move up to where she can latch on to one of the boarding docks.

Davarax is on his feet before the attachment to the other ship is deemed secure by the Razor Crest’s sensors. Three blasters and an unseemly amount of explosives join his arsenal hidden in his armour.

It’s time to put all of his concern and anger into his weapons.

He goes for stealth at first. He needs to know where they are keeping Dulcy. And while Davarax knows he’s a skilled fighter, he’s just one man and this ship is crawling with soldiers. He needs to be clever about this and not let his anger rule him.

He’s told Din countless times to control his anger instead of letting his anger control him, and this is one of those situations where that could be the deciding factor of the outcome of the mission.

A drowsing guard is yanked around a corner and asked for information, but the guy isn’t much help and is left hidden inside a service closet. He is soon joined by two more.

It’s the fourth guard that finally gives Davarax the answers he is looking for.

Dulsissia Valentis is indeed on this ship. They are keeping Dulcy two levels below this one, in the last cell on the left side of the prison corridor. And there are plenty of guards.

There is no way he can get to her without being detected.

Davarax lets the guard fall to the floor and draws his blasters. Controlling your anger also means to know when it is time to let it loose.

It’s time.

-

It kind of becomes a red haze after that. Davarax makes his way through the soldiers and guards, using blasters and grenades and his flame thrower to remove them from his path, and every step brings him closer to Dulcy.

Nothing will stop him.

Nothing.

He plants several bombs in strategic places, aiming to injure the ship’s engines and computers as well as draw attention away from himself. Once that is in place, Davarax moves towards the door leading below and gets ready.

Davarax triggers the first two bombs. The ship shakes and groans and he heads below to face the minor army placed there to guard their precious cargo.

The first Trooper he sees standing there spins around at the sound of him and freezes with surprise.

Davarax fires his blaster and moves on to take down the next before the body has hit the floor. He triggers more bombs.

The ship’s siren starts blaring. It howls its long and loud warnings on all floors.

After that, blaster shots hits Davarax’ armour, shrapnel from enemy grenades and his own stabs at him, fists and bots do their best to hurt him, even a blade or two slices through his jacket, yet he keeps moving forward. He won’t stop unless he’s dead.

A well placed grenade takes out the light on the entire level, but instead of darkness his HUD has to adjust to the backup-lights flickering on and off as it appears the electrical system itself has taken damage.

Endless amounts of guards try to stop him. All of them visibly confused as they were under the impression that they are being invaded by a large group of enemies and all they see is one Mando. They soon are too dead to appreciate the lesson Davarax is teaching them: do not mess with a Mandalorian’s family.

Davarax removes a couple of soldiers trying to kill him with a well-aimed grenade and he turns a corner to see what he’s been looking for; the prison corridor.

“He’s here!” Someone shouts in the distance.

“Thank you for pointing out the obvious.” A voice snaps. “Don’t just stand there! Stop him!”

More soldiers rush forward to protect the owner of the voice.

Davarax removes obstacle (soldier) after obstacle (more soldiers), ignoring everything except his mission. He’s so lost in his anger and battle-haze that he’s not prepared for when he suddenly sees her there. Barely visible through the smoke and blaster shots sent his way, there is no mistaking her.

Dulcy.

Some obnoxious Imp officer is standing next to her, his one hand grabbing her arm and the other holding a blaster muzzle to her head. The officer looks scared. She does not. Her eyes are wide with surprise, yes, but her mouth softens into the faintest of smiles. Her hair is almost as wild as Raga’s and for some weird reason she’s wearing a fancy teal dress that probably costs more than the Razor Crest.

It would have eased Davarax’ anger, soothed the fire inside him, quenched his thirst for blood, seeing her standing there… if not for the blooming bruise on her face. There is a startling discolouring of the delicate cheekbone he’d trailed light fingertips over in a wordless display of love not too long ago...

Unbridled rage explodes inside Davarax. He’s going to rip Vecon Valentis apart!

Completely indifferent to the shots fired at him, Davarax merely keeps stalking towards Dulcy and the soon-to-be-dead-Imp, killing anyone who gets in his way. He’s so angry he can barely breathe. How dare they hurt her?!

-

A trooper jumps out of room next to him, blaster raised, but Davarax slams his elbow into the helmet so hard it shatters. He then pulls out a vibro-blades and throws it through the air and takes down the one guard left standing next to Dulcy and the Imp officer.

The red lights are still flashing, sirens are blaring, there is thick smoke in the air, and Davarax is finally standing in front of Dulcy and Vecon Valentis. The Imp now looks downright terrified.

“Don’t, Mando.” Vecon warns. “I will shoot.”

“Not if he kills you first, Vecon.” Dulcy says. She’s keeping her gaze locked on Davarax, unfazed by Vecon’s threat and the pain of her bruised face. His brave Dulcy. His heart. His light.

Not bothering to even look at Vecon, Davarax grabs the man’s hand holding on to the blaster and squeezes and twists it until he drops the weapon with a pained yelp. He’s mesmerized by Dulcy’s complete lack of fear and solid faith in him. She even uses the moment Davarax disarms her captor to break free and spin around to stand next to Davarax instead.

“Tell Macero I’m never going back. He will never see his son again. And to leave me alone. And if he comes after me or my family again, I won’t ask nicely to be left alone. I will kill him.”

‘My family’. She said ‘my family’. It might be wishful thinking from Davarax’ side, but her choosing those words instead of just saying ‘me or my son’, it almost sounds like she means… him and the children? The anger deflates as wild hope floods Davarax instead and he glances over at the amazing woman next to him.

Dulcy is glaring at Vecon, who is bending over into an awkwardly twisted position due to the grip Davarax has on him, and she looks magnificent; beauty and fury. And there is no hesitation or trace of softness in her threat. She means it, she will kill Macero, and Davarax loves her even more.

“Tell him yourself.” Vecon sneers.

Davarax is distracted, entirely focused on Dulcy, and he pays the price. The Imp moves and a sharp pain follows as he drives a blade into Davarax’ side. Grunting, Davarax reacts instinctively; he draws his blaster and shoots.

Vecon Valentis is dead.

Dulcy doesn’t care. She seems indifferent to the man being killed and her being deprived of the chance to do it herself as payback for her bruised face. All she focuses on is getting to where the blade is planted deep in Davarax’ body. “Oh. Oh no. What-”

They have to leave. Now. The blade hasn’t done lethal damage but Davarax knows he won’t be able to fight for too long with this kind of injury. Blood-loss will weaken him. He yanks the blade out and grabs her arm to redirect her frightened gaze to his t-visor. “We have to go.”

She nods, a little stunned but ready to get out of there. Good.

Picking up Valentis’ blaster, he hands it to her. “I need you to cover my back, Dulcy. Can you do that?” Blood is seeping through his underarmor and a burning pain is spreading. No time to deal with it as more guards are on their way for sure. He needs her help if they are going to make it.

She nods again. Worried, pale, but determined. She’s got his back. Just like he knew she would.

He loves her so much.

Together, they move, battle and make it back to the Razor Crest.

Stumbling into the cockpit and over to sit down in the pilot seat, Davarax brings the engines online and detaches them from the Imp ship as quick as possible. The bombs he’d set off earlier was to confuse the troops onboard and Davarax hopes they have caused enough damage to the engines for him and Dulcy to make their escape.

The Razor Crest does a slow turn, rolling over, Dulcy buckles herself into her seat, and with a strained shake of her entire hull; the Razor Crest gives a mighty kick and races off into the darkness.

-Run, Davarax pleads the ship. -Run as fast as you can, old girl. If that beast recovers enough to come after us, we’re all dead. So I need you to run with everything you got. Run!

And, again maybe it is his wishful thinking, Davarax swears he feels the ship give an extra burst and her speed increases even more as they race towards safety.

-

Only after forty three minutes and seventeen seconds of pushing the engines to the limit of what they can take, plus non-stop checking the radar to see if someone has decided to chase them and finding nothing, only then does Davarax dare to ease up and let the Razor Crest slow down while he leans back and exhales.

Adrenaline and stress leaves his body while exhaustion moves in.

This is also when Dulcy unbuckles herself and appears by his side to with an anxious expression on her beautiful face and her hands hovering a little undecidedly over his torso as if she can’t decide where to touch.

Her own bruised face appears forgotten to her. Davarax feels how guilt viciously collides with the relief of having her back. He reaches out, pulls Dulcy close and hugs her tight. “Are you okay?” Her bruised face is bad enough, more than bad enough, but what if… He will never forgive himself if...

“Yes, but you’re not.” Dulcy replies, too relaxed to be lying and she tries to push him away. “You’re bleeding. You’re hurt, Davarax. I have to-”

Feeling her in his arms, alive and warm and there and forgiving him his failure, Davarax couldn’t care less about his own injuries. He can’t even feel them. All he can feel is her. All he cares about is her. The thought of letting her go after nearly losing her forever hurts. “In a moment.” Davarax’ throat is snared up so tight he has to whisper. “Please.”

And his heart shatters entirely when this incredible woman shivers, once, then wraps her arms around him and hugs him back. Davarax eases her over to sit on his lap where she curls as close to him as she can manage and he holds her as close as he dares.

He’d nearly lost her. This fact will haunt him for the rest of his life; a life he cannot imagine without her. She brought him out of his half-existence, comforted his children when he was unable to and Davarax had started to wake up in the mornings with hope instead of guilt and weariness.

Despite the ordeal she has been through, Dulsissia ignores her own hurt and says that they need to tell the Covert Macero will come for them so they can flee, but Davarax isn’t too worried. They have fought all kinds of governments before and won. He alone had taken on a Destroyer and gotten away with it today, just imagine what his entire Covert could do to a man stupid enough to challenge them.

Dulcy is not convinced, but they compromise and then her focus shifts to his injuries and that is something she will not compromise on. It’s odd to have someone care. Nice, but odd. He’s always tended to his injuries himself.

She fusses about his wounds and notes how Vecon held the blade all wrong to do fatal damage. His girl knows how to stab someone properly. His heart glows with pride.

Dulcy refuses to use the cauterizer and tries to order him out of the pilot seat. As much as he loves her authoritative voice, Davarax declines. He needs to keep an eye on the radar, just in case.

Another compromise is made and she ends up sitting on his lap while tending to his injuries.

It’s no big surprise when she asks about her son.

“Scared out of his mind that he’ll never see his mother again.” Davarax sighs, running his hand along her arm in an absent-minded caress. “When we get closer to Nevarro, I’ll try to reach him.”

“And the rest of the kids?”

That actually makes Davarax laugh a little “I had to physically wrestle Paz off the ship when he heard I was going. If he had a blaster, he would have shot me.” His hand rounds her shoulder and moves up her neck to cup the side of her face. “They’ve all been desperate to get you back. Like me.” It feels almost too good that she’s back. He did it. She’s here. He didn’t fail her again.

“I’m sorry.” Dulsissia mumbles, gently patting down the edges of a bacta patch on his stab wound. “I didn’t see him before it was too late. And then I just wanted them away from all of you.”

“Hey.” Davarax takes a gentle but firm grip on her wrist, halting her movement, making her look at his visor. “This was not your fault. This was all them. You have nothing to apologize for.”

Dulsissia doesn’t look convinced. “Maybe not. But the fact remains that without me stumbling into your life, you wouldn’t be bleeding right now.”

“Without me barging into yours, I wouldn’t be sitting here, that’s true.” Davarax replies, gently caressing her wrist. “I wouldn’t be with you. My days wouldn’t bring happy memories instead of feeling guilty all the time. I wouldn’t come home to my kids smiling instead of crying, hiding away while being terrified for their lives or without a voice because they have been screaming themselves hoarse.” His hand moves up to brush the back of his fingers across her bruised cheekbone, feeling the guilt gnaw at him again. “That’s worth more than bleeding for, cyare. That’s worth dying for.”

Closing her eyes, Dulsissia takes a hold of his hand and moves it down to press her lips to it. “Other than the love I felt for my son, I didn’t know what love was until I met you.” She shivers. “Don’t talk about dying because it feels like tempting fate and I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

“Then, maybe, if you feel like that, would you…” Davarax says, tensing up a little. He had asked her to marry him and she had said no. It’s just… He wants them to be together, forever, so badly. He wants to be able to take his helmet off in front of her. He wants to kiss her lips and feel her hands on his face. He wants her to see his smile and how happy she makes him. He wants… What he wants doesn’t matter. As tempting as it is to ask her to at least reconsider, he won’t. He had asked and she had said no. Davarax is going to have to respect that.

Dulcy kissing his hand snaps him out of his thoughts just before she asks; “Would I what?”

Davarax exhales and lets go off his dream. He then tilts his head and tries to divert the conversation. “Would you let me compliment you on the dress? It’s lovely. And really brings out the colour of your eyes.” Vecon Valentis might have been a jerk, but looks to have had a sense of fashion.

Laughing, Dulsissia shakes her head and goes back to focus on cleaning and bandaging him up. “Thank you. I kind of like it myself. Impractical, but pretty. I was thinking about keeping it.”

“I think you should.” Davarax drawls, toying with the thin shoulder strap to distract himself as well. “Definitely.”

-

When Davarax finally manages to contact the children over the comm system, it’s both a relief and painful torture. Relief in that Corin gets to talk to his mother, hear her voice and know she is safe, same with the other children, but Davarax is also tortured by guilt upon hearing their distress and knowing he is to blame. He had said Dulcy was safe and she had been ripped away from them.

His heart aches the most, however, when Dulcy, his sweet Dulcy, makes sure she hears the voice of every child to reassure them all, like the amazing mother she is. It makes him want to collect every neglected child in Galaxy and bring them to her so they can feel happy again too.

In the five hours it takes for them to return to Nevarro, Davarax persuades Dulcy to return to his lap and merely drowse in his arms until they land. It feels so good to hold her. He will happily share her with the children when they get back home, but for these hours, knowing everyone is safe, he will allow himself to be selfish and savour every second where it is just the two of them.

Stepping inside the Covert, Corin is in his mother’s arms before the door has closed behind them. The boy is clinging to his mother with desperate determination, eyes squeezed tight and his entire frame shaking. Dulcy is struggling to keep from crying and she’s stroking and kissing his dark hair, his cheeks and his forehead. It’s the kind of open affection that Davarax can only dream about...

Which means he is not prepared for Din running over to wrap his arms around his waist and burying his face to his stomach with a half-choked sound. His grip is frightfully strong. Surprised and humbled by the rare display of affection, Davarax runs a gentle hand over Din’s hair. While Din has eagerly soaked up every hug and encouraging pat Davarax has given him, this is the first time he has initiated a hug. It almost feels like Din had been equally scared of losing him as Corin had been about losing his mother. That… It’s…

Glancing over at Dulcy, trying to blink away the fog that appears to be assaulting his eyes, Davarax sees Raga and Barthor have joined Corin in her embrace. It seems wrong that Din should have to settle for him so he gently ushers the boy over to Dulcy as well and loves her even more at how quickly and naturally she includes Din with the others.

It would be perfect if only… Davarax’ heart sinks as he sees Paz standing there alone, arms crossed,  older than his years. He’s not been the same since the battle at the new Covert. It’s a part of growing up as a Mandalorian, but it still hurts to witness. Yet another thing he can’t protect them from.

Lost in thought, Davarax is then again not prepared as Dulcy unleashes Corin, Raga and Barthor in his direction and they all throw themselves at him with gusto. Davarax grunts at the impact when Raga actually jumps at his chest, Barthor smacks into his left hip and Corin to his right, Din’s arms goes back around his waist, all of them grabbing a hold and hugging him. Din laughs while Davarax staggers a step backwards and tries to pet each head, support Raga to prevent the little space-monkey from falling and not dislodge any one of them at the same time.

Dulcy walks over to stand in front of Paz. “No hug?”

“Kids first.” Is the stern reply.

She simply pulls him close, hugs him even closer and whispers something. Something that has Paz relax and hug her back. That woman must surely be a Jedi witch…

But Davarax doesn’t get to linger on the sight or speculate on her magical powers as he’s quickly distracted by Raga climbing up to perch on his shoulder and he has to support her with one hand while Corin decides to hang off his other arm, using him like a swing like he’d done during their initial meeting back on that smoke-covered planet. Din actually laughs.

“Maybe we can head inside?” Davarax asks, his voice a little strained under the children enthusiastically mistaking him for a playground.

Dulcy looks over at them and smiles like the angel she is. “Yeah, let’s go.”

-

They walk towards Dulcy and Corin’s room. She reminds him of the need to warn the Covert about the danger of Macero Valentis, but Davarax is in no hurry to see his sister just yet. And Davarax does not believe for one second that Valentis could be a threat to the Covert. If the foolish man was to try to attack, they would eat him alive.

Inside the room there is a whirlwind of exchange of information. Dulcy is as curious about how Davarax had been able to find her as the children are about what had happened to her. Corin gently touches the bruise on his mother’s face with agonized tenderness.

“It still sucks that Davarax had to go alone.” Raga states angrily. “He even had to defy ‘her’ to do it!”

Startled, Davarax doesn’t want Dulcy to know he’d raised his voice to his sister. “It’s late.” He states, stealing their attention away from Raga’s words. “You kids should head home.”

There is nothing but disappointed faces among the children, but there is one who looks downright… depressed. “Can…” Din clears his throat, shifts his position awkwardly. “Can I stay here tonight?”

Corin nods. “He has bad dreams, mom. He dreamt the droids got you.”

Davarax’ heart clenches. He knows how tormented Din has been by the memory of how his birth parents had perished. He’s seen the raw fear in him whenever the boy sees an android. And when Dulcy sends him a pleading look, Davarax isn’t difficult to persuade. Sighing, he nods and starts to contact Din’s Mandalorian parents via his vambrace. “I’ll ask them” And they will say yes. He won’t settle for anything else. The boy needs a little cheering up after all this.

That triggers a landslide of requests to stay as well. Davarax adores those kids for how Raga meekly promises to behave and Paz finally reverting to his real age by demanding to stay if she gets to stay, yet Barthor’s quiet resignation awakens the anger in Davarax.

“My mom will never let me sleep over.” Barthor scoffs with bitter conviction.

Davarax feels his eyes narrow. “Want to bet?” Barthor is one of his kids. If Barthor wants to join the sleep-over, then Barthor will sleep over as well. He is just about to press the final button to contact Din’s parents when his beloved witch strikes again.

“How about… we all spend the night in Davarax’ room?”

Davarax’ face snaps up to stare at her. She couldn’t have surprised him more if she’d slapped him across his bare face with a fish. “Say what now?” Nobody said anything about them sleeping over in his room, with explosives in every corner and the memory of Dulcy’s soft whimpers in his bed.

Din lights up with utter delight. “Oh, can we?”

Davarax clenches his jaw, Dulcy gives him the sweetest smile of fake innocence, and he folds with a heavy sigh. As if he can deny her or these kids anything. “Just… let me talk to your parents first.”

As expected, Din’s parents give their permission without much trouble. They trust Davarax.

Davarax fears he suffers permanent hearing damage after connecting with the Saxons and quickly blurts out his question.

There is a moment of silence before Raga’s mother states: “Anything she breaks, I’m not paying for it.”

“It’ll be on me.” Davarax replies, and then she starts screaming at either her husband or her sons and he just shouts his goodbye and disconnects.

Dez is a problem because of course he is. That man thrives on being difficult, especially around Davarax. If Davarax states something obvious, Dez will disagree just because he said it.

“A sleep over? Are you kidding me? My boy has put on the helmet. He doesn’t do kid stuff like that. I will not have you make my son soft, Davarax.”

“Dez…” Davarax has to take a deep breath and not lose his temper. “It’s a sleep-over. All his friends will be here. Don’t be such a hard-ass. Let the boy have some fun.”

“We are Mandalorians. We don’t do fun. Fun doesn’t make you into a great warrior.”

“A little fun never harmed a kid. He’s a kid, Dez. Helmet or not, he’s still a kid. Let him have this.”

“He should be training.”

“He is training. Every day. That boy is dedicated and you know it. He’s among the best fighters I’ve ever seen. Let. Him. Have. This.”

They bicker back and forth for a while and eventually Davarax manages to wear down the cantankerous man by a combination of nagging and bribery. It’s worth it when he can give Paz the thumbs up to show he’s allowed to stay as well.

And yet Dez Vizla is nowhere near as frustrating as Barthor’s parents. There is no room for negotiations, no compassion or empathy, just a stubborn ‘no’. Davarax tries everything. He flatters, he tries to bride, he tries to reason with them, he even gets dangerously close to pleading, but it doesn’t work. They won’t budge. They will not allow their son to have one simple sleep-over.

And that is when Davarax turns mean. Dangerously mean.

Thirty seconds later, he can give a very surprised Barthor a thumbs up.

-

That is how they end up gathering all there is off mattresses and blankets and pillows and march over to Davarax’ room. After hoarding and hiding away his weaponry, Davarax helps to arrange their haul all so his kids can be comfortable before he steps up next to Dulcy. “The kids are set. You take the bed. I’ll, uh…” He scouts for where he can fit on the floor, have a good view of the door in case of danger and be close enough to the kids to keep an eye on them as well.

“You and me are sharing the bed.” Dulcy states, as if it is the most natural thing in the world and her words doesn’t hit him in the gut like she’d fired a slugthrower. “The bed is for old people. Like us.”

“I said I was sorry.” Barthor groans. “Let it go.”

“Never.” Dulcy snaps, then she sends Davarax, who can’t stop staring at her, a puzzled look. “What?”

What? She’d just said they would share a bed, a bed with sinful memories, with the kids in the room and she’s asking him ‘what’?? Davarax shakes his head and looks over at the kids again to calm his stuttering heart. She can’t be that oblivious, can she? Well, he can handle this. He can-

“And would you mind taking the armour off?” Dulcy continues to torture him. “You can, inside the Covert, right?”

Closing his eyes, wondering what he’d done wrong to deserve this sweet punishment, Davarax manages a tiny nod.

He handles it like a champ. Davarax removes his armour, settles himself on the bed closest to the door to keep an eye on it and the children to ensure they are safe. Din often has nightmares and might need calming down, though he currently looks quite comfortable between Corin and Paz. Davarax got this. He can handle this.

Dulcy curls up next to him and rests her head on his chest.

He… He’s got… got this…

After a while, Dulcy lets out a soft laugh. “You’re going to have to breathe eventually, you know.”

“No.” Davarax declares. She’s too close and too tempting for him to dare to breathe.

Dulcy giggles and that catches Corin’s attention. He pops his head up and asks what is so funny. If only he knew. Of course Davarax’ evil witch isn’t content with tormenting him solely by being this close to him. Oh no. She hoists herself up on her side and places her hand on his stomach. Her fingers dig gently into the fabric of his shirt and making it slide across his skin in a deliberate caress. “Nothing, baby. Go back to sleep”

Oh. Oh, this means war. Davarax reaches down and grabs a good handful of that divine behind of hers. He grins and savours her strangled squeak like the finest battle trophy.

Corin’s head pops up again. “Mom?”

“It’s fine, Corin.” Dulsissia takes revenge by prodding two fingers next to one of Davarax’ wounds

He jolts with a muffled grunt. Oh, she is really pushing her luck right now...

Corin’s head goes down again.

Davarax’ takes a firmer grip on her behind, hitching her abruptly closer, so she places a hand to an unharmed area on his chest to push herself away. Davarax counters by using his other hand to grab the one she has to his chest and removing it before pulling her even closer. She squirms to free herself while they both struggle to muffle their laughter. Davarax can’t believe this is happening. He wasn’t this childish even when he was a child.

Paz’ helmet comes up and he lets out a very annoyed; “SHHH!”

Davarax and Dulsissia both withdraw their hands amidst quiet laughter.

“Sorry.” Dulsissia stutters through choked giggles.

“Yeah, sorry.” Davarax adds, struggling hard to silence his own snickering.

Grunting, still very much annoyed, Paz lies back down again.

As the laughter calms and a warm peace settles in instead, Dulsissia finds Davarax’ hand. She takes it, lifts it up to hold it between their chests, and smiles as their fingers begin their slow, pointless dance of just touching and braiding and feeling like they had done that very special night.

Looking at her face, seeing the warm affection in her eyes, the flush in her cheeks and the trust in her features, Davarax considers just how lucky he is. How the smallest change in the past might have lead both him and Dulcy on very different paths. How he could have never known the happiness he’s feeling now.

Coincidence or fate, he doesn’t care, it had brought him and Dulcy together and nothing is ever going to tear them apart.

Not his sister.

Not Macero Valentis.

Not even a nightmare of a mercenary who specializes in collecting trophies...

[robininthelabyrinth]

Unfettered (aka NHS goes feral) - part 3 - previous parts: on ao3 or tumblr pt 1, pt 2

-

Lan Xichen had the strangest feeling that something was going to happen.

He wouldn’t pretend that he had a touch of foresight – life had shown him the hard way how completely he lacked any sorts of skill in that direction– and there was nothing altogether unusual about anything that had happened in the past few days of the war. Lan Xichen was helping with so much more now than he had during the Sunshot Campaign, when he’d been able to be a little above it all as a mere courtier or a single but powerful scouting force, thanks in large part to his sect’s then-existing weakness and Nie Mingjue’s utter brilliance. Nowadays he had to deal with the endless drudgery of war administration: the clean-up before and after battles, the mechanics of feeding and supplying all the cultivators in their front lines, planning their next move and the next after that…

Nie Huaisang had received a message and stormed out, looking annoyed, but that wasn’t new, either.

There were many demands on his time, after all. Nie Huaisang might not have much experience at war on a personal basis, having largely (and willingly) been sidelined during the Sunshot Campaign, but he was a sharp study and an excellent judge of people. He managed their generals – selected for merit without any attention to what sect they were from, if any – with an iron fist that rivaled his control over his own disciples, and on top of the war there was also his extensive network of spies, his constant scrutiny of their supply lines, his supervision of internecine disputes between the sects…

The divisions between us will be the first place Jin Guangshan strikes, he had said – snarled, rather – at the last meeting between sect leaders, taking to task men twice his age without so much as the blink of an eye. I want this petty bullshit between you resolved, now, and I don’t care how many generations you’ve been fighting over it. If you don’t fix it, I’ll fix it for you, and I assure you that neither of you want that.

They’d resolved it.

After all, Nie Huaisang was right: no one wanted him to step in.  

It was a little ironic, Lan Xichen thought. The entire war had started because of Jin Guangshan’s lust for power, his desire to be called Chief Cultivator – a term Nie Huaisang denounced, as Nie Mingjue had before him – and now it was Nie Huaisang to whom the cultivation world deferred without question.

People were afraid of him.

It still seemed a little ridiculous to Lan Xichen, as if at any moment someone would step in and say that it was all a joke that they’d all been taken in by. That Nie Huaisang was still the excitable little roly-poly puppy he’d always been, Lan Xichen’s good friend’s little brother: stubborn and cute and smarter than he pretended to be, interested in nothing but his art and his fans and his clothing, lazy and indolent and unabashedly happy in a way that had brightened Lan Xichen’s day to see, every time.

He wasn’t, though. And it was Lan Xichen that had helped make him into what he was now.

During his travels, he’d heard cultivators in the field referring to Nie Huaisang as the Pallbearer, obliquely calling him the virtuous mourner as if he were a death-god whose name should not be directly uttered lest it draw his attention – it wasn’t anything Nie Huaisang had accepted as a personal title, utterly inauspicious as it was, but if he didn’t take one soon, he’d be stuck with it. If he wasn’t already.

People were simply uncomfortable calling him Nie-er-gongzi the way they had before, and Lan Xichen didn’t blame them one bit – the Nie-er-gongzi of the past was unrecognizable in the man of today.

But neither could he blame Nie Huaisang for refusing the title of Sect Leader Nie as long as his brother still had a single spark of life in his body.

Nie Mingjue…

Lan Xichen missed him terribly.

He knew he didn’t have the right to – Nie Huaisang had made that clear enough – but he did. He missed his old friend, with his confidence and his kindness and his goodness. He missed having a confidant who esteemed him and who trusted him, who shared everything with him without a moment’s hesitation, who always tried his best and honored those who did the same.

He’d once, and only once, caught a brief glimpse of Nie Mingjue after everything had happened: he’d been in bed, pale as death, face quiet and slack and peaceful in a way it never was, with doctors surrounding him. At the time, they were working furiously to save his life as Nie Huaisang paced furiously outside the door, refusing food and only drinking enough water to replenish the tears that streamed endlessly down his face.

That had been early on, before they’d realized Nie Mingjue had lapsed into a deep coma from which there was no telling when or if he would awake and, even if he did, in what state he would be left in. That had been before Nie Huaisang had banned Lan Xichen from the Unclean Realm…banned everyone, really, hosting them anywhere else he could rather than allow them anywhere near his brother when he was vulnerable.

Before he’d slowly started giving up hope. Before they all had.

It’d been years, after all. Surely if Nie Mingjue’s indomitable strength could heal him, it would have done so by now?

Of course, even if Nie Mingjue did eventually wake up, it wasn’t as if Lan Xichen would get his friend back the way it had once been. Nie Mingjue had always been righteous to the point of rigidity, willing to make the hard choices to punish those who had done wrong no matter their identity, and Lan Xichen had failed him so thoroughly, so completely…

Guiltily, too, he knew that if Nie Mingjue woke up, he’d undoubtedly step up as general once more, coordinating everything the way he had during the Sunshot Campaign – and that meant they wouldn’t need to rely on Lan Xichen’s assistance anymore.

Nie Huaisang had made that clear, too.

Whoever had raised his ire by sending him that message that had pulled him away from their work together…well, they’d better have a very good excuse. Nie Huaisang hated to be interrupted, his temper as short as anyone in his family’s had ever been, and his tongue was more poisonous than Jiang Cheng’s.

Lan Xichen would know, being its most frequent target.

Nie Huaisang had never forgiven Lan Xichen in his part in preserving Jin Guangyao’s life, and lacking the actual assassin to rend to bits, he had grimly decided to make do with the accomplice. He needled Lan Xichen at every instance, taunting him with his failures and deficiencies, making nasty jibes and underhanded remarks that cut deep – and Lan Xichen deserved every single one of them.

Back then, it had been Lan Xichen who had hesitated, refusing to believe the truth. Refusing to believe that his then (and, perhaps, still) beloved A-Yao could ever do such terrible things of which he had been accused, either at his time in the Nightless City or the assassination of Nie Mingjue – he had pushed back, prevaricated, insisted on investigating more, finding out more…in the end the truth had come out in all its ugly wretched filthy glory and the only thing his foot-dragging and indecisiveness that he’d pretended was a devotion to justice had gotten him was Nie Huaisang’s endless disdain.

The worst of it, though, wasn’t the humiliation or the insults, nor his feelings of failure and guilt.

No, it was the way his foolish heart raced at how Nie Huaisang looked now, with all restraint a distant memory – the sharp Nie features on his delicate face turning from blurred to clear as the childhood fat on his cheeks melted away; the intelligence that flashed in his eyes, now unhidden by any pretense or indifference; the utter brilliance in the casual way he rattled off orders, effortlessly taking command without permitting any backtalk; the way he moved, a mixture of the martial general and a dancer’s grace; the way everything about him perfectly fit to Lan Xichen’s taste –

He really was a fool.

He had a crush on you for years, Lan Xichen reminded himself. Nie Mingjue even told you about it, he’d even approved of it back then if only you were interested, and yet you pretended you knew nothing. But now, now when he hates you, despises you, sees you as little better than a worm to crush beneath his heel, now is when you finally choose to see what’s always been there?

He hadn’t said anything to Nie Huaisang about it, of course. There wasn’t any point when Nie Huaisang already thought of him in the worst possible terms – weakling, willfully blind, murderer – and he could easily imagine how it might go, if he ever tried anything.

(“I heard some soldiers say that I resemble Jin Guangyao,” Nie Huaisang had mused one day, his hands locked behind his back as he looked down at their troops training in the field. His voice was cold as ice and sharp as a blade. “Though there’s some disagreement as to whether it’s my face or the devious turns of my mind that bring up the comparison. I thought I’d ask you, Zewu-jun, you being the expert and all – am I a good replacement? A suitable stand-in? If I smile at you enough times, will you do whatever I say without question, the way you did for him?”

I would already do anything for you, Lan Xichen had thought at the time, full of sorrow. In a way that goes well beyond what I felt for him. But even if I told you, you wouldn’t believe me, would you?)

No, it was clear enough to Lan Xichen that his father’s blood ran strong in him, dooming him to only love where he was not loved in return, and to finally realize the strength of that love only when it was too late.  At least it seemed that Lan Wangji had escaped that fate with Wei Wuxian, their earlier misunderstandings aside.

A moment later, as if summoned by his thoughts, the man himself appeared.

“Oh, Zewu-jun, there you are! Have you seen Nie-xiong?” Wei Wuxian asked, popping his head in through the door. Lan Wangji was a few steps behind him, waiting patiently as he always did – he was always patient with Wei Wuxian, gentle in a manner that reminded Lan Xichen of the way he sometimes cared for the wild rabbits back at the Cloud Recesses.

They hadn’t spoken much, of late. Lan Wangji had understood Lan Xichen’s weakness and had not held it against him, but that didn’t mean Lan Xichen had forgiven himself, nor did it lessen the sting of shame he felt over events he felt must have lost him the respect of his younger brother, no matter how Lan Wangji denied it – it was easier to focus on matters of war.

“He was called away suddenly, I’m afraid,” Lan Xichen said. “He left a few shichen ago, but he said he’d be back in time for dinner.”

“Dinner has already passed,” Lan Wangji said, his voice neutral – an obvious reprimand for Lan Xichen for having not noticed, shaded with concern over the way Lan Xichen didn’t always eat the way he should. He wouldn’t be hurt by it, he practiced inedia the way they all did, of course, but that didn’t mean he should miss meals if he didn’t have to. “He has not yet returned?”

“Not that I’ve noticed. But if it’s that late, he should be back soon. Do you need him for something urgent?”

“As urgent as anything else in this war,” Wei Wuxian said with a shrug. “If you see him, let us know.”

“Why do you assume I’ll see him first?” Lan Xichen asked, a little amused, but Wei Wuxian blinked at him as if he’d said something foolish.

“He always comes to you first,” he said. “Hadn’t you noticed?”

Lan Xichen’s breath caught briefly – no, he hadn’t noticed, and his mind immediately started to race, his heart growing warm…but no. He only was being foolish again. As the army’s courier, its administrator, Lan Xichen was the obvious person for Nie Huaisang to contact if he wanted to get his plans spread out to everyone as soon as possible.

There didn’t have to be anything more to it than that.

“So when he arrives, if you could just tell him –”

“No need,” Lan Wangji interrupted. “He is approaching.”

A few moments later, and it was clear from the footsteps that Lan Wangji was right, as always – when Lan Wangji was younger, Lan Xichen used to tease him about having the ears of a bat, capable of detecting everything, and sometimes he really thought it might be true.

They waited, and the door opened, and Lan Xichen instinctively turned away as Nie Huaisang let himself in, not wanting to see those hard eyes turn even harder, the instinctive sneer that rose to Nie Huaisang’s lips at the sight of him that it always took him an extra moment to suppress.

“Nie-xiong?” Wei Wuxian asked, his voice rising a register in his shock. “What happened?”

Lan Xichen turned back at once, suddenly cold all over in terror. Had Nie Huaisang been injured? Some ambush, some attack, or worst of all a garrote made of guqin string the way he’d so foolishly taught A-Yao – but no, when he examined him with his eyes, Nie Huaisang looked hale as always, but for the redness and swelling around his eyes.

He looked for all the world as if he’d been –

Crying?

And yet Lan Xichen knew that Nie Huaisang hadn’t wept in years. One could probably accurately say that Nie Huaisang hadn’t had any expression in years, nothing that wasn’t a sneer or a grimace, maybe at best a smirk. What could have caused him to do so now…?

Nie Huaisang shook his head and unexpectedly – smiled.

A real true smile, his eyes curving into crescents and wrinkling at the corners, his cheeks glowing pink and his teeth flashing just like when he was younger and more innocent and smiled like that all the time. A smile of the sort that Lan Xichen hadn’t appreciated when he had it, the sort he’d thought was lost forever.

Lan Xichen’s heart stopped in his chest.

He wished he could stop this moment, too, to keep it with him for the rest of time.

“It’s da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said, beaming. “He woke up.”

Oh, Lan Xichen thought. Oh.

Oh no.

[2manyfandoms2count]

Sleepless in Paris

I ended up not posting anything Ladrien in June when I'd planned to do something, but then I saw the last prompt of @ladrienjune (Speechless), and since it tied in with an idea I had a couple of weeks ago... Here you go!

Established Ladrien, Adrien receives a text from his girlfriend and overthinks its meaning. Thankfully Ladybug comes and clears things up.

Loosely based on a quote from Le Discours, a novel by Fabrice Caro.

Read on AO3

---

Adrien, we need to talk.

Adrien read the message over and over again, like an overworked student stuck on a paragraph whose meaning just won’t register.

He tossed his phone aside and lied back down, rubbing his eyes as he did so.

Oh, how much he regretted ever getting Ladybug a private phone so they could communicate. It had seemed like a good idea after their third close call, when she had almost swung into his room like she owned the place (and maybe she did, she was his girlfriend, after all, anything was possible), in the middle of an impromptu piano recital his father had requested. Thankfully, the false notes he’d made upon seeing her almost crash into the window had covered any sound she’d made as she changed course, and made sure his father and Nathalie’s attention was on him, and not on the red blur just outside.

She’d laughed so prettily when she’d unwrapped the box and noticed that he’d painted little black dots on the back of the red phone case. She’d insisted on paying him back in kisses and sweet nothings. Even if he’d wanted to, he wouldn’t have been able to refuse; his girlfriend was convincing like that.

Yes. Those had been the good old days.

The ones when the messages he received from her didn’t come as a blow that made his stomach tie into knots and question if he was going to be okay (although that might not have been entirely true; the feeling he’d gotten when he’d read “I love you” on his screen, written down, not just whispered between two makeout sessions or before she left, a permanent trace of her feelings, could definitely have fit that description, but the difference was that he’d questioned if he was in heaven, then).

The timestamp of the message read Monday, 4:36pm. He’d managed to type a “when?” at 5:58pm, which she’d seen at 5:59pm. Nothing since. That was new, too. Even messages that didn’t require an answer always got at least a couple of emojis in reply.

It was now Tuesday, 6:12am, and he hadn’t slept a wink, dissecting the five words, twenty characters, like they were a long lost spell that could fix hunger on Earth.

The first thing he’d noticed was the full stop. That didn’t bode well - even he knew that nobody ended a text like that these days.

Then, the comma. A pause. Not great either, in the context of a relationship.

Especially when it came before a “we need to talk”. He didn’t need to have seen many romantic comedies to know that this was probably an end of the line warning.

Even his name was a sign.

Adrien.

Not “my prince”. Not “my love”. Not even “my Adrien”, like she’d taken to calling him recently. Just plain old boring Adrien . Until the message had arrived, he hadn’t realised they’d been on a downward slope, but maybe he’d been too busy burying his head in the sand to notice. Maybe deep down, he’d known that it wasn’t viable.

That Ladybug, basically a goddess among men, had no business being in a relationship with a commoner like him, however much she tried to fool herself by calling him her prince. Adrien. The more he read it, the more emphasis he put on the second syllable. Ad- rien . Ad rien. Towards nothing. Maybe she’d known they were doomed from the start, that they had no future, but she’d tried anyway.

Maybe he was reading too much into it and the lack of sleep was making him delirious.

Whatever the outcome, he supposed they’d had a good run. He’d cherish all of the moments they’d spent together.

Actually, he thought, sitting up again, maybe that was what she needed. Maybe he could change her mind if he reminded her of all their good memories. There was no way she couldn’t be convinced, or at least persuaded, by his plea. He hadn’t gone six months playing a double game of putting on a fake insensitivity mask over the one he wore with Chat Noir's to avoid her seeing through him, when she deserved to be showered in compliments at every moment of the day, for it to end this way.

He loved her.

He picked up his phone again and pressed the dial button.

One tone. Two tones. Three.

Adrien suddenly remembered the time, hastily hung up, and facepalmed audibly, making Plagg roll over in his sleep and hiss.

“Sorry,” he whispered, before turning his attention back to the phone.

If his call hadn’t woken her up, then his mistake would be the first thing she’d see when she did.

This was bad. It wasn’t like he could go delete the evidence. He didn’t know where she lived, and since he doubted that she slept while transformed, there was no way to track her. Which would also be bad, he reminded himself, but maybe this emergency would justify it.

Anyway,  he couldn't cry over spilt milk, but maybe he could escape. Just move somewhere, preferably on the other side of the world. He could change his life, his name (actually, could that alone change the outcome of their relationship? If he changed it before planning anything, could they pick up as if nothing happened, and would the timeline be fixed? He wished he’d thought about it before calling her), and raise hamsters in the mountains. What he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him, right? And then he could live happily ever after in the sweet, sweet illusion that despite them being miles apart, he still lived in a world in which he was Ladybug’s boyfriend.

He didn’t know if he preferred the idea of her never coming after him, or her seeking him out, even if it was to deliver bad news, but it didn’t really matter. The plan sounded good. Foolproof.

He hopped off of his bed and pulled a suitcase out of his closet. He’d always wondered why his father stored them there when it really seemed like an unnecessary temptation, but at least it was useful now.

If he was to start over somewhere, he needed to leave Adrien behind. The guy was a train wreck anyway, but unfortunately for him, a train wreck people would want to find, when he just wanted to be left alone to mope.

No more white shirts, then. They were too recognisable. He found a collection of dark hoodies at the back of the closet and stuffed them in the bag, along with t-shirts (they’d be hidden under his hoodie so he could keep those), a pair of jeans and some shorts.

He came back into his room and put his suitcase on his bed, scanning his surroundings for other essentials. His eyes landed on the fencing cup he kept his Ladybug pictures in. He’d definitely need those. It would help maintain him in his illusion. He also needed his Ladybug pyjamas, which he kept hidden since he wasn’t sure his father would approve of them. They’d be perfect for his new life.

Plagg stirred on his pillow. Before Adrien could ask himself whether it was reasonable for the small god to come with him, there was a knock on the window, and he froze. He turned around slowly; Ladybug stood in the window frame, looking glorious in the soft dawn light. He noticed she was holding a small paper bag in her left hand. He was sure it could fit everything he’d ever gotten her.

“Going somewhere?” She frowned, hopping inside before he could even move.

Adrien stared at her, before guessing he’d better bite the bullet. “Well I just figured I’d rather not stick around if you’re going to break up with me.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

He watched her face fall and started to doubt his conclusion.

“Break up with…” she muttered slowly, as if tasting the words, before shaking her head. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Adrien, we need to talk.” He airquoted. “I get it, it’s fine. I’m-”

“Adrien, I’m not here to break up with you. At all.” She shook her head again and took a step forward. “What would make you think that?”

“Adrien, first of all,” he stated.

“Your name?...” She tilted her head inquisitively.

“You used to call me my Adrien. Or sweeter stuff.” He pointed out.

“Oh Kwami.” She shook her head, trying to repress a smile, although the blond didn’t notice.

“And then don’t think I didn’t notice you being less present lately.” He waved a finger at her, feeling himself blush. He knew his accusation was a tad hypocritical; sure, their date hangouts in the previous few weeks had been less frequent than they’d been at the beginning of their relationship, when she’d drop in practically every day, but they’d also been full of Akumas and photoshoots, what with his father’s new collection dropping. She’d managed to beat him to his room most days, hanging out around the windows as she waited, which had made it very difficult for him to sneak back in.

But on the occasions they had seen each other, she’d also seemed more lost in her thoughts than usual. Nervously wringing her hands together while they chilled in front of a movie, despite him soothingly raking his fingers through her hair. Being even more elusive about what was going on in her life, if that was possible. Looking at him with determination in her eyes, opening her mouth to speak, only to close it and shake her head with a sigh.

“I’m really sorry about that, my love .” She gave him a pointed look as she took his hand. “I’ve just been thinking a lot lately, about you, me, our relationship. How, you’re right, it might seem like we’re spending less time together to you , but…” she trailed off, biting her lip.

“How could that statement have a but ?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Well, um, I had this sort of crazy idea, because we’ve only been dating for six months and it’s totally not like I ever imagined us getting married and having three kids and a hamster or anything…” she mumbled nervously, and Adrien felt his heart flutter in his chest. “Anyway, I’ve been trying to get a hold of Chat Noir all night to check that he approves the idea, and also because I feel like it’s kind of an unspoken agreement that unless it’s an emergency and it really feels right, we’d do this together first, but he’s not replying and I was awake and you were awake and I thought…”

“Okay my… Lovebug, breathe.” Adrien’s caring boyfriend instinct kicked in as her rambling gave him confirmation that their relationship wasn’t in immediate danger, and he placed his hands on her shoulders, taking a deep breath to show the example. She mirrored him, and they breathed in sync for a couple of cycles, until he was satisfied that she’d stopped hyperventilating. He lead her to his couch and helped her sit down.

“Croissant?” she asked shyly, presenting him with the bag she’d brought. A pastry bag. Not a bag with his belongings. He really needed to stop jumping to conclusions.

“You know me so well.” He smiled brightly as he took one of the baked goods. They were still warm. The croissant didn’t last long in his hands. “Anyway,” he gulped down the last bite, “if you don’t mind me asking, what was your miraculous idea?” He smiled at himself, proud of his pun.

“Well, I was thinking that I could reveal my identity to you,” Ladybug replied, daintily wiping the corners of her mouth with a tissue.

It was a good thing Adrien was already sitting down, else more than his jaw would have ended up on the floor.

“Your… Your identity. Reveal. To me.” He asked seriously, hoping his words would make sense to her. It was better than remaining speechless.

“Yes, I am considering it,” she laughed. The sound made his brain tangle even more.

“Why?” He croaked.

“Well, as I said, it would enable us to spend more time together.” He raised his eyebrows, but she didn’t elaborate. “And I don’t know, I feel like it would be right. You’ve got something, Adrien.” She smiled tenderly.

“I… I do?” He felt himself blush.

“It’s just a croissant crumb, there, let me get it for you.” She leaned forwards and kissed the corner of his mouth. The contact jump started his brain.

“Ladybug, this is serious.” He backed away slightly. “Why me?”

“Fine.” She sighed. “Well, you're my boyfriend, but I know you a lot better than you might think. Before you say anything, no, I can’t tell you why yet, I need to speak to Chat Noir first. But there is something about you, Adrien. I feel like I can trust you. With this. Because of course I trust you otherwise.”

Adrien looked down at his hands and twiddled his thumbs, pouting as he thought.

“Adr- Sunshine? Is everything alright?” Ladybug placed a concerned hand on his thigh when his silence stretched to a slightly uncomfortable length.

“When you talk to Chat Noir, and he agrees to your plan…” He looked up and met her gaze.

“If,” she corrected him, but he waved her interruption away.

“...Will you guys reveal your identities to each other? Will you ask Chat Noir who he is under the mask?” He felt almost feverish as he searched her eyes for a hint of the answer before she could speak.

“Um, yes, I guess that’s how I saw the discussion going.” Ladybug frowned. “Are you concerned that it will change our relationship somehow? Because I promise it won’t, I-”

“Oh Bluebell, it definitely will, but not in the way that you think.” Adrien pecked her lips, a mischievous smile spreading on his as he pulled away.

“Oh?” Ladybug blinked a couple of times. Adrien tried to hide his smugness at her speechlessness.

“Yep. You see, I’m one hundred percent paw-sitive your dearest partner will agree to your plan.” He grinned, watching the realisation dawn on her face.

“How hard was refraining from making cat puns in the past six months?” Ladybug finally sighed, a small smile tugging at her lips.

“Very, my Lady.” He pouted. "But not as hard as refraining from kissing you on patrol."

“Maybe you can help him pay up all the Camembert he owes me for sitting through him ranting about all the missed opportunities,” Plagg called out, making her jump slightly. Adrien rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, you were right, your plan really will allow us to spend more time together!” His face lit up like a kid's on Christmas morning.

“You don’t know the half of it.” Ladybug shook her head, before looking back up at him, an indecipherable look on her face. “Need a lift for school?”

“That’s all you’ve got to say?” Adrien looked at his girlfriend with kitten eyes, disappointed that she hadn’t held up her side of the bargain.

“Well, it’s time to go if you don’t want to be caught by your bodyguard.” She shrugged, stood up, and extended a hand toward him, the twinkle in her eye the only tell in her poker face.

“Ladybug…” He whined, pouting.

“What, Chaton?” Her smile finally broke free. “It’s very literally on my way. I can drop you off at your seat, and then walk to mine… Right behind you.” She booped him on the nose.

Once again, Adrien was thankful he was already sitting down.

As she carried him to school, Adrien decided sleep was overrated. Sometimes reality was the best dream of all.

[sevlgi]

can I hold on?

requested: yes

group: blackpink

pairing: jisoo x fem!reader

genre: angst, questionable fluff

contents: idol!au, conflicted jisoo. based on this reaction. 

warnings: infedelity

synopsis: Jisoo doesn’t know what to do when you tell her you’re cheating on someone with her, but she can't help but hold on to whatever sliver of love you have for her.

a/n: none

word count: 2.4k

When you ask to take her out to a nice dinner place to talk about something important, Jisoo isn’t quite sure what to expect.

She isn’t paranoid enough to think you’re breaking up with her, not in the slightest-- you aren’t the type to fight at all, never mind in the past couple of weeks, so breaking up wouldn’t make any sense. And of course, it isn’t abnormal to go on fancier dates in nice restaurants, especially not when you’re nearing your 6th month anniversary together, but it’s the texts flashing across her phone screen that worry her.

Jisoo’s fingers tighten on the sides of the device as she stares at the messages, foot tapping impatiently on the floor of the taxi. The car ride should be relaxing with the green of well-groomed trees and shiny glass buildings outside the window, but her heart thuds in her chest with a heavy rhythm that betrays her nerves.

Y/N [6:11]   hey, jagi, what do you think about going to a restaurant tomorrow?

Y/N [6:11]   there’s something important to talk about.

In her experience, ‘needing to talk’ never bodes well. While dating you, she’s also discovered that you’re a straightforward person who never phrases things so vaguely. With all the factors combined, Jisoo is nothing short of frightened about what could possibly merit you bribing her with an expensive lunch.

The sounds of her heels clacking against marble floors rings too loud in her head as she walks into the restaurant. No one pays any mind to her, even with the black mask and sunglasses she wears to protect her identity. “Um, reservation for Y/L/N?” she tells the receptionist. When he picks up a menu and beckons for Jisoo to follow, she does; she doesn’t hear a single thing that he says, though, still focusing on what you could possibly need to tell her.

Did something happen with her family? Is she in legal trouble? What about money? No, Y/N hasn’t asked for money before, that’s a dumb thought-

“Hey, Jisoo!” you call out, standing with a smile and breaking her fixation. Jisoo can’t help the grin that takes over her face and the warm, fluttery feeling in her stomach. “It’s really nice to see you.”

“Good to see you too,” she sighs and accepts the hug you offer. As always, you pull a chair out for her before sitting down yourself. “Soda at a fancy restaurant? You’re out of your mind, Y/N Y/L/N,” Jisoo jokes when she sees the glasses of bubbly liquid. 

You look just as beautiful as always, a little done-up to match the atmosphere of the restaurant. When the idol sitting across from you takes off her disguises, you grin at the sight of her face. “Since when are you a high-class lady who’s too good for soda? I’m disappointed, jagi.”

Laughter escapes the both of you; this is nice, the familiar light banter that Jisoo’s used to. She wants to stay like this, not descend into the awkward, heavy silence that she knows is coming. In an effort to delay it, she asks, “So, what do you want to eat?”

“Uh, how about the pasta? Carbonara, maybe?” you suggest, scanning the menu with your lips pursed. When she doesn’t respond to you, you look up with a small smile. “Hey, Jichu-yah, did you hear what I said?”

“What? Oh, yeah, spaghetti sounds good,” she answers distractedly, scanning the menu again. “I’ll get some salad and soup, and we can share the pasta.”

“Carbonara, not spaghetti,” you snicker, dodging the napkin she tosses at you. “You’re distracted today. Something going on at work?” You raise a hand to order, completely at ease. Honestly, Jisoo hates that she’s suspecting ulterior motives; you could easily have meant that you needed to talk to her about another nice date you’ve planned, or an event you want her to attend with you. Yeah. That’s probably it.

Right after the waiter bows and leaves with your order, though, you sigh and lean forward a little bit, forearms against the table and your voice lowered. “While our food gets here, we should probably talk.”

“About what?” She tries to sound nonchalant, but probably fails miserably. Jisoo’s never been the best liar, at least not with you. 

You’re silent for a second, probably trying to find a gentle way to break the news (Jisoo still doesn’t know what it is). Every second that passes only prolongs the doom settling like a cloud above the two of you; after what seems like an eternity, you settle with something that’s horrifying to hear nonetheless. “I… I’ve been lying to you.”

When the brunette doesn’t say anything, focused on schooling her expression, you’re forced to continue, “It’s really hard to explain, but I’ve been dating someone else.”

“You’re cheating on me,” Jisoo rephrases, her voice already hollow. It’s the worst possible scenario, one that she didn’t even bother to evaluate in all her anxiety, and she doesn’t know what to do.

Shaking your head vehemently, you protest, “No, that’s... that isn’t it. I haven’t been cheating on you, but I’ve been cheating on her. With you.”

Her mind racing a mile a minute to try and understand what the hell’s going on, she stammers, “Wait, what? What do you mean you’ve been cheating on her with me? Who?”

You bite down on your bottom lip, probably hard enough to bleed, but you answer, “Her name’s Sumin. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years, but we were having problems when I met you. And I knew you wouldn’t approve, so that’s why I didn’t--”

“Of course I wouldn’t! You… you’re a cheater!”

Her words seem to hit you like a physical slap; Jisoo almost expects to see a red hand mark across your face when you flinch. You then sink into your hands, fingers tangled in your hair. “I guess I am. But I love you, Jisoo, and that part’s real. The problem is that I also love Sumin.”

Jisoo can barely believe what she’s hearing. All this time, you’ve managed to fool her into believing that you’re honest, that you’re a good person and that you truly love her. According to your words, maybe you do, but she can’t believe a single word out of your mouth when you’ve been lying all along.

The guilt hits her like a train. She’s been helping you break the heart of your other girlfriend, even while she doesn’t realize it. It’s easy to put all the blame on you and claim ignorance, but how would she feel, if someone did this to her?

Shitty, obviously.

The logical answer, Jisoo concludes as she leans back in her chair, is to break up with you right then and there. You’re cheating on someone else with her, which is terrible enough, but how does she know you won’t do it again, to her the next time?

Still, the brunette wants to believe that you have something real together. There’s no way that everything she feels for you, the things you’ve made her feel, are all a lie. Her heart might be misguided, but it can’t be completely blind… right?

“I understand if you’re going to break up with me.” Jisoo startles as you speak again; trapped in her own thoughts, she almost forgot that you’re sitting across from her, never mind that the two of you are at a restaurant at all. You look admittedly remorseful, fiddling with your hands like Jisoo knows you do when you’re nervous. “I’m sorry about all of it, lying to you-”

“Stop,” your girlfriend sighs, holding up a hand. “I… I’m not breaking up with you.”

“You’re not?” you look as shocked as Jisoo herself feels, even as the words keep pouring out of her mouth.

“No, I’m not. I want to believe we have something, Y/N, something that’s worth fighting for. I want to believe that you love me just as much as I love you.”

You reach for her hand, nodding quickly. Hurt etches in your brow when she moves away, but you promise, “Of course I do! I swear I do love you, Jisoo.”

“Okay,” she exhales, running her hands through her hair. “I mean, that’s something. But you do realize, I can’t continue with you like this. I’m not going to help you eventually break Sumin’s heart.”

A sigh escapes you, deep and wearisome, when you realize the implication behind her words. “Oh. You want me to choose.”

Jisoo finally reaches over to squeeze your hands, shaking her head. “Not choose. I want you to realize what you need to do on your own, and hold yourself accountable for all the hurt you’re inflicting on Sumin. I want you to fix this before you can earn my trust back as well.”

She watches you scrunch your eyes up and press your palms to your forehead. “If you don’t want to be with me after this, I won’t blame you. I’ll respect any decision you make, but you can’t be with the both of us.”

You open your mouth to say something, but the waiter arrives with your food, and Jisoo thanks him with a smile before turning back to you. “Let’s just enjoy our food, okay? And then I’ll give you time to make things right.”

As soon as she’s back in the dorm with no one around to watch her, Jisoo slumps to the floor of her bedroom, her back against the door and her face in her hands. She tried her best to be strong for you, to not show how shaken up she was by the whole situation, but it’s inevitable that she breaks down.

How could you lie to her like that, and use her to hurt someone else? How could you make her fall for you while you had someone else the whole time, someone you had history with and loved for years?

Jisoo never wants to hurt people. She’s not that kind of person to wish pain on anyone, no matter what they’ve done to her; when she thinks of Sumin, all she can think of is someone innocent. Someone who doesn’t deserve the mess that you’ve created, a mess that Jisoo herself has also been dragged into.

It isn’t her fault, not in any way, but she can’t help but think that it is. It’s her fault for not seeing the signs and not recognizing that you weren’t being honest with her.

In the end, it’s her fault for helping you destroy the heart of someone else and refusing to see the signs. It’s her fault for being selfish and wanting to hold on to whatever small sliver of love you feel for her, and it’s her fault that you need to make a choice that you shouldn’t have to.

Dammit, Jisoo. Tears slide down her cheeks, and she wipes them away as she collapses onto her bed. It’s wrong that she wants to be the one you choose, that she wants you to give up something that’s such a huge part of your life. You’ve been with Sumin for years, but if you really loved her, would you have gone for Jisoo at all?

And more importantly, can she hold on to you any longer? If you choose her, how can she trust you again?

You don’t reach out for weeks, and while that should mean you’re fixing your mistakes, Jisoo’s incredibly worried about you. Some dark corner of her brain whispers that something’s happened to you, or that you’ve run away to avoid making a choice.

Needless to say, she’s thinking too much.

When she finally receives that long-awaited text in the middle of practice, Jisoo wants to drop everything to run back to you, even if it’s foolish. Instead, she calms herself down enough to read your message impassively, the beat of AAIYL thrumming under her feet. 

Y/N [11:43]   Jisoo, are you in practice?

She’s almost disappointed by the message as she scans it over. None of her questions have been answered, and none of her stress has been relieved, either. 

“Jisoo unnie, we need to practice,” Lisa calls out, sounding apologetic but also understandably impatient. Their members watch while talking quietly, nodding when Jisoo raises a hand in response. As quick as she can, the brunette fires a response back before stuffing her phone back in her bag and standing:

Jichuu [11:45]   yes, I’ll call you when I’m out.

Despite her efforts, practice is too difficult to focus on, and her members can easily tell. Jennie’s the one who calls for an end to it. “Okay, I think we’re all a bit distracted, let’s just stop for today,” the second-oldest smiles, clapping her hands together. 

Immediately, Jisoo grabs her phone, the only thing she needs, and bolts out of the practice room. Your number is still #1 on speed dial, and she presses call when she’s out of earshot. Before anyone picks up, though, she sees you, standing in the building’s lobby, and only gets to see your surprised expression for a second before she wraps her arms around you.

You hug back quickly, nose tucked into the crook of your girlfriend’s neck like always. The position’s familiar, and it’s so, so comforting.

“Hey, Y/N,” Jisoo breathes when she pulls away. She searches your eyes, trying to see if you’ve made a decision. “Have you…”

“Yes,” you answer, a smile on your face. There’s a smudge of eyeliner under your eyes that tells the brunette that you didn’t make the decision lightly. “I… broke up with Sumin. I explained everything to her, and I want to be with you. If you’ll take me back.”

Even after waiting for you this long, Jisoo hesitates to say yes, and you can see her apprehension in her eyes. After weeks, she still doesn’t know what to do, but she bites her lip and answers, “I will. But you need to know that I don’t trust you, at least not completely.”

You nod, hands resting on your girlfriend’s waist. “I know. I know, Jisoo, but you’re giving me a chance, and that’s enough. I’ll win your trust back again, I promise.”

“Okay. I’m rooting for you, Y/N,” the brunette exhales, resting her head on your shoulder. “Don’t let me down.”

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Sheryl Martin

Sheryl Martin (aka Sheryl Nantus) joined the online X-Files community very early on in the run of the series. She has 229 stories at Gossamer, some of which are also at fanfiction.net, where her X-Files story Little Helper is the first story ever at the site! She's well known for her Dragon series (at Gossamer) posted from 1995 to 2000. I've recced her story Family Matters here before and have other favorites too, like The Game. Big thanks to Sheryl for doing this interview.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

Well... I met my husband through it, so I'll never say a bad word about it! For those who don't know - when I originally started posting fanfiction, it was on the Usenet group alt.tv.x-files.creative newsgroup - and you could only post small segments at a time. I got a few emails back, fan mail from readers who enjoyed my writing.

One of them was from a lovely young man who really enjoyed my stories, and Jackie St. George - an original character I made up. (Yes, classic Mary Sue, but different in that she did NOT want to hook up with anyone!) I answered him back, as a good author should, and he wrote back and... We've been together since 1993 and married for over 20 years, so I'd say I'm pretty happy with the fandom experience. ;)

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I practically lived on ATXC and Usenet - I was running on a cheap Mac, using the Toronto Freenet to zip in, grab email and post, then duck out. I was dirt poor - no AOL for me, no university email or web page! It's hard to imagine, but back then it was hard to get online if you didn't have money. The Toronto Freenet gave a free, easy way to pick up email and get online - but only for a short amount of time. When a generous fan asked if they could put up a Geocities page for my fanfic, I was thrilled - there was NO way I could have done that.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

A husband! And a chance to cut my writing chops on creating stories and characters without fear. The fandom was fantastic in giving feedback on what they liked and didn't like, letting me improve my writing skill with each story.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

Dana Scully. A tough, inspirational woman who took no guff. She stood her ground when many people, I think, would have broken and either sold Mulder out or abandoned him. Damned inspirational.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I wanted more than what I saw on the show - I imagined what would happen after the episode ended, what they'd be doing or saying. Or filing paperwork... ;)

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I still get fan letters every now and then from readers - I'm still enjoying the show in various ways, the videos and the recent "revival".

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I wrote fanfiction for Stargate SG-1 among others - my most recent being for The Orville and Agents of SHIELD - but XF has always been my first love. I've never engaged with fandom as much, I think, as with XF - which is odd, considering we were at the start of the social media craze.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I've got so many... The Widow from Into the Badlands, Rita Farr from Doom Patrol (the new series), Sara Lance from Legends of Tomorrow... I love seeing strong women on the screen, doing what women do without throwing it all away for a man's approval.

Yeah, I'm like that.

;)

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

We've got so much XF in the house that I can't! Books, action figures... *laughs* And I follow GA online, so they're never too far from my mind. We still make references back to shows when we see something on the television. ;)

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

Not really - I'm too busy doing original fiction and reading original fiction, sorry. But I do dip over to AO3 every now and then to get inspired with some random fanfic from the shows I'm enjoying.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Jeepers... it's been years... I loved Cincoflex's stories, but can't bring a title to mind. And Paula Graves, may she rest in peace. We chatted a bit not long before her passing. [Lilydale note: Paula Graves is Anne Haynes.] Heartbreaking to lose her at such a young age. :(

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I do still love, despite all the bad writing, the Dragon series. They're part of what let me become a better writer, with all the practice.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I doubt it. But never say never...

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

The occasional one, as I said above - The Orville, AoS. But I put my energy into original fiction, as you can see - over twenty books published online, from various publishers.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Anywhere and nowhere. Usually just sitting and staring into space until something tweats at me, begins to whisper in my ear...

What's the story behind your pen name?

Don't have one.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

Positive - more so from my mother, who noted I found a husband through it. *laughs* Some of them still don't "get" fanfiction, and that's okay. All they know is that I write. :)

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

AO3 has my more recent works, and of course I've got one of the oldest stories on ff.net! My website is www.sherylnantus.com where you can find my original works.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Glad to see people are still reading and enjoying it, twenty-plus years after the fact! Keep on boosting the signal, and keep believing! :)

Take care and stay safe!

(Posted by Lilydale on October 20, 2020)

[khoicesbyk]

The Royal Romance.

A/N: I’ve decided to go into my own little TRR world and create an AU. This will be fun! So; Talley Ho! *in my Sherlock Holmes voice*

Rated: Explicit. | Contains sexual content and strong language. (You know? The usual from me. 😁) | Bolded and/or italicized words are conversations and thoughts of the characters. | Main Characters: King Marquise Rys (LI) and Queen Shanelle Dawkins (MC) | All Characters and names: (except MC and certain original characters, created by me) are property of Pixelberry.

Current Word Count: 1,500 words. (more or less. I stop counting after editing and re-editing. 🤷🏾‍♀️)

Song And Story Inspiration: NOLA-August Alsina | Away From Me/Control-Puddle Of Mudd

Prompt Time! Using @wackydrabbles prompt #76 “You’ll Feel Better In The Morning”. It’ll be in bold in black.

Tag List: @lifeaskim @choiceslady @secretaryunpaid @bebepac @pixie88 @txemrn @glaimtruelovealways @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @choicesfannatalie @hopelessromanticmonie @shanzay44 @wackydrabbles @choicesficwriterscreations

I AM UNAPOLOGETICALLY NSFW! READER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED AND ENCOURAGED!

If you’d like to be added to my tag list. Just reblog or DM me and I will gladly add you. 😁😘

Chapter 21.) Shadow Of The Crown.

(This is from My King’s POV)

Here I sit with a drink in my hand while staring at the documents on my desk. One is the hotel blueprints I showed Tariq and the other is the Royal decree of debt collection for Lord Winslow. All both needed was my signature and a few lives would be turned upside down. But could I really do it? Could I be that heartless? Short answer: yes! Long answer: hell yes!

They deserve it after all. They’re coming after me and what is rightfully mine. They’re coming for My Queen. And they would have succeeded had that idiot not sent handwritten messages to me and Shanelle. I have always been afraid of becoming somewhat of a dictator like my father and my grandfather before him. But, now I understand why they ruled the way they did. Their enemies stopped at nothing. And clearly mine aren’t either.

Sure, their challenge for the crown and throne doesn’t bother me. But what does bother me, is them thinking that they’re going to undermine or intimidate My Queen. I can’t have that. I have to protect and shield her from them. That’s my job as her fiancé and her future King. I serve her before I serve my people.

They pushed me to this point. I don’t want to be this way. But if I’m gonna be honest, I actually like being selfish. Making them fear The Crown and it’s unbridled power is quite satisfying. I now understand why my father enjoyed it so much. He loved when nations feared him as much as they respected him. He always said it helped to know who was weak and who wasn’t. Just like now.

And sure, the court won’t like my decisions should I decide to make them, but then again that damn court doesn’t like anything that specifically makes them look bad. As long as I fall in line with what they want, they’re happy. My happiness and sanity be damned. Which is why I fight so hard for Shanelle. I want them to see her as the queen that she will be for all of Cordonia. But their stubborn determination will never let that happen. They’d much rather I be with someone like Duchess Kaitlyn or better yet, they’d rather I’d reunite with Madeleine.

Poor Maddie truth be told we were doomed from the start. Not just because I couldn’t get over My Queen but, we just weren’t compatible. And it didn’t help that she was still somewhat in love with Leo. Yet and still we tried to make it work. But the court and their whispers of an heir needing to be produced the minute we returned from our honeymoon, became too much. I do think she was a great queen. But with her endometriosis, she could never have children. And with no true blood heir, our marriage failed. I don’t hate her and I sincerely hope that she doesn’t hate me. She was a queen for Cordonia, not for me. I need a queen for me and I found her in My Goddess.

She is everything I could ever ask and pray for in a woman. Which is why this whole ordeal is so frustrating. I found the queen that I need and want. And the court has their noses turned up at her. Instead they’re actually leaning towards the Duchess and her idiot of a fiancé. Preposterous to say the least. They’re worried Shanelle would bring the country to ruin. But they have no idea how much ruin this kingdom would be in if the parliamentary vote goes in their favor. And when and if it does, they’ll be sorry.

All of this makes me thankful for whiskey because without it, I’d be out of my mind. It’s also making my current decision making a lot more fun. So do I or don’t I? I know the risks that I’m taking by signing these but a clear message has to, no…a clear message needs to be sent.

But what would she think? How would she feel or respond? Will she understand my decision? Now I have no delusions. I know that she’d be furious with me, but I’m only doing this for her and her protection. I see the way the vultures in the media treat her. Like she’s a fresh carcass for them to scavenge upon.

And while I’m proud to see that she is doing a fantastic job in her lessons with Regina, she’s still vulnerable in the eyes of the court. I realize that but I also know that she is a brilliantly resilient woman and I have full confidence that she will make a great queen.

That’s why I choose her. Her resilience. She doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit. The way she faces, challenges and takes down adversity is awe inspiring. She makes me a better king and a better man.

But the more I think about it, the more I lean towards approving the documents in front of me. Because I know that they won’t stop until she leaves me and Cordonia forever. And that will be the moment that I become the dictator that it was rumored my father was.

Many in the court whispered that he changed after my mother’s death. Which is partially true, he became suspicious of our enemies and certain allies and with good reason.

Many in the court didn’t like or necessarily agree with my mother. They opposed her being for and about the people. They wanted her to be about maintaining the court and its image. That wasn’t my mother. Like Shanelle, my mother was not a native Cordonian but my father loved her. Dearly. And much to the courts objections, he married her and eventually they had me. They were happy. He was happy. Until she was stolen from us.

My sweet mother. I miss her so much. I just want to hug her. I want to hear her sing to me. I want to see her smile again. I want to tell her how much I love her. Don’t get me wrong, I love Regina and will move heaven, hell and earth for her. She’s been good to me and my brother and she was a saint to my father. I do love her but it’s just not the same.

The way the court treated my mother is how they treat My Goddess and as a king and especially as a son, it’s infuriating. Both are beautiful, fierce and compassionate. My mother would’ve loved Shanelle. And much like Regina, she would’ve done everything that she could to convince the court, that she’s the one. My mother was young and vibrant when she was killed.

I’ve known for years that it wasn’t accidental. But I never knew who murdered her or why, but I vow that I will find out and when I do I will crush her murderers.

I can hear her beautiful voice in my head.

She would be disappointed with me. She would say, “my son, I know that you want to protect your fiancée but this isn’t the way to do it. I raised you to be better than this.”

And she’d be right she did. I am better than this. But I am also a king. My rule is being challenged. So I must do what I have to do as king to protect myself and My Goddess. Which is why these documents sit on my desk. This is how I protect us. What people don’t understand is that being a king is not just a title, it is a responsibility. I am responsible for the health, prosperity and safety of my people and especially my queen.

And what kind of king would I be if I can’t and don’t live up to my responsibilities?

And sure I could just brush off Duchess Kaitlyn and Tariq as nothing. And I really should but I don’t want to. I want them to fear what I can do. All with the swipe of a pen. And well this kind of power is delicious and it makes me understand who my father really was as king.

So if I sign these I will be the dictator that many in court said my father was. And honestly, especially now that I’ve thought about it I don’t care. I’m at my limit and this keeps me from plummeting towards having public executions just for the hell of it.

I can hear both my mother and My Goddess tell me not to do this. They’d say “Marquise you’re upset. You’re not thinking clearly. This decision isn’t who you are. Go get some sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.” And they’re right I will as soon as I sign these decrees. And sure, Tariq and Lord Winslow will hate me. But that’s what happens when you cross me.

And with the stroke of my pen it’s done.

Long Live The King!

Forever I shall reign!

[lendmyboyfriendahand]

Artanis (who would never be known as Galadriel) and Maedhros lived apart after they married. It wasn’t out of anger; they simply had very different interests and duties. Maedhros ruled Himring, a proud fortress resisting Morgoth’s forces. Artanis dwelt in Doriath, becoming acquainted with here long separated kin and learning enchantment from Melian. Maedhros came to Doriath occasionally, to meet his in-laws who ruled the continent, and Artanis spent most summers with him in Himring, returning to Doriath long before the cold winter winds blew in. The arrangement suited them well enough for several decades.

Until King Thingol heard rumors of what had transpired in Alqualondë, and summoned the children of Finarfin to answer for it.

Then Angrod spoke bitterly against the sons of Fëanor, telling of the blood at Alqualondë, and the Doom of Mandos, and the burning of the ships at Losgar. And he cried: 'Wherefore should we that endured the Grinding Ice bear the name of kinslayers and traitors?'

'Yet the shadow of Mandos lies on you also,' said Melian. But Thingol was long silent ere he spoke. 'Go now!' he said. 'For my heart is hot within me. Later you may return, if you will; for I will not shut my doors for ever against you, my kindred, that were ensnared in an evil that you did not aid. With Fingolfin and his people also I will keep friendship, for they have bitterly atoned for such ill as they did. And in our hatred of the Power that wrought all this woe our griefs shall be lost. But hear my words! Never again in my ears shall be heard the tongue of those who slew my kin in Alqualondë! Nor in all my realm shall it be openly spoken, while my power endures. All the Sindar shall hear my command that they shall neither speak with the tongue of the Noldor nor answer to it. And all such as use it shall be held slayers of kin and betrayers of kin unrepentant.'

Artanis began packing.

Thingol said, “I meant to forbid your brothers, who command soldiers and sought my aid in war alongside murderers, not you, who have stayed in peace and listened to my wife’s instruction.”

“I am at least as guilty as my brothers. Indeed I am more so, for I fought at Alqualondë.”

“WHAT?! You killed our people, and yet have lived here under my roof, letting me believe you an innocent when truly you were a murderer?”

“I took up a sword and killed my kinfolk, but I have spilled no Telerin blood. I saw the Noldorin soldiers massacring the sailors, and I killed my father’s people to save my mother’s. As well, I would not dwell in a land that declares my husband an enemy.”

“I cannot understand why you married someone who slaughtered our people.”

“I do not understand many people’s reasons for marrying, but they remain wed all the same. My husband and I have a good deal of common ground. I would appreciate some privacy now to pack, as by your own royal decree, I must leave this place.”

~~~

As soon as her uncle left, Artanis stopped packing and focused her thoughts. Though Maedhros was far away, they could reach each other through the bond of their marriage if they wished too.

Dear, do you have a moment to talk? It’s important but an hour’s delay will make no difference. They always began their touches lightly, so that if Maedhros was in battle or Artanis was being tutored by Melian, they would not be startled.

Today though, Maedhros responded immediately. I do. What do you wish to discuss?

Several things. For one, I would like to spend the next year with you at Himring. I understand enough about how Melian preserves Doriath now that I would like a practical chance at it. If I am there at planting, I can make seeds last at least another month into autumn, and through the driest summer.

I would be very happy to see you, and for you to improve the March. When shall I send an escort to Doriath?

An escort from Doriath won’t be necessary.

Even I don’t travel unaccompanied, I’m not trying to curtail you with guards. Celegorm’s the only one foolhardy enough to ride alone. They’ll report to you and take your advice on route, if you wish to detour to see family or natural features.

I know that. I mean that my brothers and their households will also be leaving Doriath. They’re bound for Dorthonion, but our paths lay together as far as Aglon. That’s a safe enough place for us two to meet.

I suppose it is. Maedhros paused. Though tone was hard to convey over such distance, he seemed to be picking his words with care. Is there a particular reason you’re all leaving Doriath at once?

You are not the only one with idiot brothers. Artanis sighed. No, that is unfair. My uncle Elu heard rumors of the Kinslaying at Alqualondë, and attributed the crimes to all Noldor. Angrod refuted the accusations, with great detail as to where fault lay. Uncle Elu is still mad at my brothers for keeping the secret, and has barred them from Doriath for a time, though not forever.

Oh. I am sorry that you lost another home due to my actions.

I was not specifically barred. But I felt a need to make a point of solidarity, with them and with you.

What does the King of Doriath sentence me to, if his blameless kin are cast out?

All Noldor not of my family are outright banned from Doriath. Anyone who speaks Quenya will be seen as approving of the kinslaying, throughout all Beleriand. None of the Sindar will admit to understanding it, and any Quenya overheard will be treated as an act of aggression.

That is a lesser punishment than it could be. Do you know when this will take effect? Not all of my soldiers have learned Sindarin, there’s been little need as the land around Himring was uninhabited.

I believe he is sending messengers, and those who keep speaking Quenya after they hear the message will be considered in contempt. This all happened just this afternoon, so I expect he’s still figuring out details.

[ao3feed-tododeku]

The Big Black Hole of Doom

The Big Black Hole of Doom by Monkeygirl77

MidoriyaIzuku has added TakamiKeigo, KatsukiBakugo, IidaTenya, and 12 others to ‘group chat’. MidoriyaIzuku has changed TakamiKeigo to Brother Birb Brother Birb: Baby Birb, what is this? MidoriyaIzuku: The Big Black Hole of Doom Brother Birb: …… MidoriyaIzuku: Imma change everyone's names ‘cause I can *cracks knuckles* MidoriyaIzuku has changed MidoriyaIzuku to Baby Birb Brother Birb: I approve, carry on

Words: 4176, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Todoroki Shouto, Takami Keigo | Hawks, Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou, Iida Tenya, Uraraka Ochako, Ashida Noriko, Kaminari Denki, Yaoyorozu Momo, Tokoyami Fumikage, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yuga Aoyama, Asui Tsuyu, Hero Public Safety Commission, Other Character Tags to Be Added

Relationships: Midoriya Izuku & Shinsou Hitoshi, Midoriya Izuku & Takami Keigo | Hawks, Midoriya Izuku & Todoroki Shouto, Shinsou Hitoshi & Takami Keigo | Hawks, Midoriya Izuku & Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Midoriya Izuku & Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko & Takami Keigo | Hawks, Midoriya Izuku & Tokoyami Fumikage

Additional Tags: new here, Please be nice, Midoriya Izuku is a Dork, Midoriya Izuku is a Problem Child, Midoriya Izuku is a Little Shit, Let Mido Say Fuck!, Sassy Midoriya Izuku, Hacker Midoriya Izuku, sorry - Freeform, But Midoriya Inko's bad parenting, Villain Midoriya Hisashi, Sensei | All For One is Midoriya Hisashi, Midoriya Hisashi's Bad Parenting, Midoriya Inko's Bad Parenting, Hawks Adopts Sad People, Well - Freeform, Children, Teenagers?, You know what I mean, Adopted Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Adopted Midoriya Izuku, Adopted Todoroki Shouto, Adopted Shinsou Hitoshi, Somewhat, its a work in progress, for everyone but Midoriya, Gamer Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Gamer Midoriya Izuku, Gamer Shinsou HItoshi, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, at 4am, Parental Takami Keigo | Hawks, Older Sibling Takami Keigo | Hawks, Big Bro Hawks, its my thing right now, my fave thing, hawks and deku are my fav right now, Older Sibling Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Todoroki Shouto is a Little Shit, Sassy Todoroki Shouto, Hawks is so done with them, but he still loves them anyway, The Nest, Takami Keigo | Hawks Acts Like a Bird, Midoriya Izuku thought he could fly because he was adopted by a bird, Jumped off the roof of Hawks agency, spoiler: he cannot fly, Angry Hawks is a Scary Hawks, Sassy Shigaraki, All For One is an asshole, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Not done be Hitoshi, Soft Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko is a Little Shit, Shiggy is not a bad guy, His moral compass is a bit fucked up, but he is still a good cookie, Supportive Bakugou Katsuki, Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku Friendship, bad words, Cause Bakugo has a potty mouth, Group chat, Chatting & Messaging

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29251068

More Izuku Stories

[randomfandomimagine]

Games With Trish: The Last of Us Part II

Granted, I didn’t actually play this myself but watched my brother play it instead. Still, I’m kind of glad he had the controller because the game looks so difficult and scary. Overall, I absolutely adored the game and it has so many good things. For that reason, I’ll say the bad things first since there are very few.

I know this game was very controversial, but this is my personal opinion and thoughts, not facts. Let me know your opinion if you want (as long as you’re kind and polite, please!). 

Long rant and spoilers under the cut!

Bad things

I have two main things to complain about in the game: the violence and its heavy emotional charge. Now, I don’t necessarily hate them because not only does it make sense that it’s a violent game taking place in a post-apocalyptic world where it’s kill or be killed, but it also goes along with the message of hate and revenge the game wants to tell. 

Still, the game gave me a lot of anxiety and I didn’t enjoy it as much as I could have for this reason. I averted my gaze a few times (when they break Yara’s arm being one of them) because it’s so brutal. I’m also a very sensitive person, so each time we played it was so tense and sad that I ended up exhausted. Every time a character died it was so harrowing... Abby’s Day 3 was so intense that I was a little overwhelmed, and Yara’s death was like the final straw and we had to take a break from the game. Characters also die so quickly, which is realistic, but it didn’t give you enough time to react before you were thrown into another scene or shootout. Between how frantic some scenes are and how brutal or tragic, I had to ask my brother to pause it a few times. The game really doesn’t give you a moment to breathe. That’s it, that’s my only complaint about the game. Now on to the good things.

Characters

First of all, and always my favorite thing about any story: the characters. Ellie is my all time favorite character, and even if I don’t agree with her choices and actions in this game, I can still empathize with her and love how complex and deep she is. She’s just human, and she is traumatized, so she does some questionable things.

Obviously, Troy Baker’s and Ashley Johnson’s performances are flawless, but Druckmann’s dialogues and writing is so... human. The characters interact like real people, they are spontaneous and natural, they have intimate moments of love, anger and a wide range of emotions. These characters fidget, frown, smile and have a myriad of human gestures (also improved with the amazing, mindblowing Naughty Dog graphics) that make them feel real. You can feel the emotion pour out of every gesture, every look, every expression.

I know Abby is also a controversial character but... I adore her. Of course we are meant to hate her at first, but the more time we spend with her, the more I grew fond of her even if I missed playing with Ellie. I couldn’t help but to admire Abby’s brute strength and bravery, even when she faces her fear of heights. When she tells her story, you understand her motivations as much as her actions hurt. Joel (like every character in this game and every person in that world) was not a good person, no matter how much we love him. Besides, at the end of the game it’s hard not to feel for Abby. She loses everyone as a direct result of her own revenge that she very much ends up regretting. When Ellie finds her at the end, it was hard to even tell that was Abby, I literally didn’t recognize her. So it was nice knowing that she found redemption and got her happy ending with Lev, her new family.

The side characters are all amazing. I was especially fond of Lev and Yara (Lev is an adorable little boy that must be protected, I just wanted to hug him) from Abby’s part and Dina and Jesse from Ellie’s part. I also loved Owen, Nora, Manny, Alice... everyone. Even Mel, who seems a bit more bland in comparison, has a defined personality. 

The plot

It is so well written, it makes so much sense, coherently and thematically, that I don’t understand some complaints. It’s also so compelling! People complain that Joel’s death made no sense and was just for shock value? It was a direct consequence of his actions at the end of the first game when he killed lots of people and literally doomed humanity out of selfishness. I still love Joel and I’m glad he saved Ellie, but this can’t be denied. Besides, the game deals a lot with the consequences of the characters’s actions, so it makes perfect sense to me.

Everything that happens in the plot and the story has a point. You kill lots of people as Ellie to avenge Joel, but then you get Abby’s point of view and grief the loss of those same characters. The game tries to make you feel for every person, which is why they all have names and their friends call out to them when they are shot. The main goal of the game was to get you to feel empathy for the ‘bad guys’. The point was that there are no good or bad guys in this story, only people with personal perspectives. Ellie and Abby are just two women who felt they were in the right. And in a way, they both were.

I just think the plot was coherent, with lots of interesting things, twists and surprises. Overall, it was realistic. There were no deus ex machinas, no crazy expectation subversions (because the twists were well established) and to me it felt like everything that happened had a meaning, as heart-crushing as it could be.

The themes

Now, this is one of my favorite things about the game. I read that Druckmann said that Ellie and Abby would have been friends in another life, and I agree. They are two sides of the same coin, or two different moments in the process of recovery from trauma and grief. 

Abby got her revenge and is dealing with the consequences of it, with the guilt and the rejection of those that don’t approve of her hate and resentment. When she got her revenge, she didn’t feel better (in fact she felt worse) so she does something good to change that. She literally returns to Yara and Lev to make amends for killing Joel, and in it she finds a new family. In the end, Abby actively choses not to do bad things anymore (even to the point of refusing to fight Ellie) and let go of that hatred.

Ellie is in the first stages of grief, needing to look for Abby until she kills her for what she did to Joel. There are some hardcore visceral moments that show the dark side of revenge, like when she finds Nora or attacks Mel and Owen. Even when Abby lets her go she still can’t forget about Joel’s death. It was a nice respite in the farm with Dina and JJ, but her guilt and PTSD don’t leave her and she has to go again. She is literally going through what Abby already lived, hence why she tells Ellie ‘I’m not doing this’ when they meet at the end of the game.

Ellie and Abby were on the same path even if they started on different places. Abby had done terrible things for Isaac as a Wolf but finds redemption when protecting Lev. Ellie mostly wanted to live a happy life until her father figure was taken from her. They meet common ground at some point and then go on their own paths again, which is why the game didn’t end on the theatre.

The first Last of Us was about love, but Part II is about hate. It speaks about how hatred and revenge never end, an eye for an eye and everyone will end up blind. The characters have to make conscious choices to avoid it ruining their lives even further and that’s why the ending is so good. More on that later.

Little things

The setting is incredible, it feels lived in and sometimes it’s absolutely gorgeous. Every place has a history and some of them are just so cool. The musem with the flashback of Joel and Ellie was one of my favorite places, as well as the aquarium. Also, the part of the game where you go to Ground Zero? Terrifying! I was freaking out only watching my brother play, and I’m impressed that they managed to make it feel so dark and ominous. It’s brilliant that they thought of putting something like that in the game, as scary as it was.

The game has so much attention to detail, from how you always find alcohol and scissors in places like kitchens or bathrooms to how accurate the animations are. I was blown away when I saw the trailer with how you crawl under cars and cock the guns and everything, and the game has so many details like those.

Even the AI was insane, NPCs have dialogues if you let them speak and they are so smart. They turn around in the middle of their walking, like real people would, and make it extra challenging. I was so impressed with the AI.

The music was phenomenal as usual. The score just pulls the correct emotions out of you, whether it is making you feel the adrenaline with the drums or feel nostalgic or just make you sad with the guitar.

The ending

Finally, the ending. I think many people didn’t like it, but to me it was perfect. I was so convinced that either Ellie or Abby were going to die, or both! I was relieved that they both lived, and in a way that made so much sense. To me it was a satisfying end to everything that had been set up, a coherent end to all the themes and the message that the game sent. Revenge is bad, let go of that hatred or it will consume you.

Ellie can’t kill Abby. She spent so long thinking about Joel in his last moments, about how she was helpless and couldn’t save him, and that fueled her anger and hatred. Her survivor’s guilt from the first game only got worst when it meant seeing her father figure die. Still, when she is about to kill Abby she thinks about him in a different way. She sees him fondly, with his jacket and coffee and playing guitar. She doesn’t see him bloody and dying as he was that dreadful day. That’s why she doesn’t kill Abby. 

Abby and Lev find Santa Catalina after everything they went through. IT’s Abby’s ‘reward’ for not going after Ellie again after what happened with Owen, Mel and everyone. They get their happy ending together as a family: Lev can be himself and feel safe even with everything that he loss, Abby can start forgiving herself for her guilt and honor both her father and Owen by returning to the Fireflies. She was lost in the darkness but found the light. It’s also symbolic that she isn’t as buff or has her long hair because she’s letting go of the reason why she had them.

Ellie lost everything. She couldn’t let go of her hatred and in doing so she was left completely alone, which was her worst fear. She risked everything and the only thing she had left, which was Dina (the representation of a happy life) is gone. It was also heartbreaking that she couldn’t even play guitar (as a guitar player myself and music lover, that hurt me profoundly) because she lost her fingers as a consequence of her attempt at revenge. 

I saw theories that Dina was actually waiting for her somewhere else because Ellie was wearing her bracelet, and I hope so too. It seems strange that Dina would abandon her dream of living in a farm if she was staying with Ellie, but I still want to hold on to that hope. I shipped those two so hard, and I really want Ellie to have a somewhat happy ending.

The last few minutes were beautifully tragic. Bittersweet. Ellie is alive, but leaves everything behind, all of her belongings (including Joel’s guitar) in order to move on. It was the only way she had to let go of her grief from Joel’s death and start a new life instead of repeating the vicious cycle of revenge. Just... powerful and moving.

Amazing lines and scenes

My brother knows me well and he said that my favorite scene would be the one in the museum with Ellie and Joel, and it probably is. It feels like a continuation of the first game and it’s a sweet father-daugther (parent-child and found family tropes are my weakness) moment in which Joel tries to make Ellie happy with the nerdy things he knows she loves. 

I also adore all the moments between Ellie and Dina. They are adorable and they just feel like a real couple, caring about each other and joking and flirting. 

All of the flashbacks were emotional and amazing, but my favorite is probably the last one. When Ellie tells Joel that she wants to forgive him? When he says ‘if I had another chance I would do it all over again?’ I’m getting choked up just thinking about it. I think that’s actually my favorite scene in the game.

Another one of my favorite lines was ‘hey, you’re my people’ from Abby to Lev. It’s so important and such a turning point for Abby, because if it weren’t for Lev she might have killed Ellie and Dina in the theater. She cares so much about him that she keeps going. And that line is the first moment we really see how much that kid meant to her.

Final thoughts

This was probably the longest rant I’ve written here, but The Last of Us was already my favorite game and Part II only topped it for me. The few bad things are greatly overpowered by the countless good things. The game just left a mark on me and I will never forget how it made me smile, laugh, gasp, cry, cringe in fear and overall... just feel in a way nothing had ever made me feel before.