#nct oneshots

[jaeyunverse]

the perks of having a hot best friend

pairing: lee jeno x fem!reader

genres: fluff, crack, mild angst, best friends to lovers, college au

wc: 14336

warnings: profanity, sexual jokes, jeno is shirtless in a scene phew, too many idol features SORRY i lowk lost track of who i’ve included. i think that is all but lmk if you find something else!

summary: having a hot best friend is nice until you start getting butterflies in your stomach every single time you look at them.

note: JAEYUNVERSE COMEBACK WOOO i’ve missed writing long fics so much omfg but i’m shitting bricks as we speak LOL it’s been a while since i’ve posted something big and i won’t lie i’m hella nervous. i rlly hope you guys enjoy this fic ♡ please don’t hesitate to give me your feedback! here’s to hoping my writing skills haven’t become as rusty as i think i have hehe :’))

masterlist

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐊𝐒 !

01. an abundance of freebies and discounts

Lee Jeno knew the power his smile held. 

All it took was one flirty laugh combined with those sleepy eyes of his for people to melt. Being the resourceful person you were, you utilised that talent of his to its full extent. 

“Can you go and flirt with the cashier so she gives us a free muffin?” 

Your best friend gave you a dirty look. “You do realise this is supposed to be your treat, right?” 

“I am paying!” you exclaimed. “Just go do your thing and make her feel generous enough to slip a free dessert in our order.” 

Jeno rolled his eyes, but you knew you’d won. You almost always did. “Fine, whatever. You owe me one though.” 

“I’m feeding you because I owe you one,” you pointed out. “This makes us equal.”

“How riveting. I have to work so the person who owes me doesn’t have to owe me anymore.” 

“We can argue about this for hours or you can haul ass to the counter and place the damn order. I’ll Venmo you the money the moment you’re back,” you promised. 

Sliding out of the booth, Jeno said, “You’re lucky you’re cute. If this were Jaemin, I wouldn’t be letting him off the hook easily.”

You stuck your tongue out at him and shooed him away. Narrowing his eyes, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you along. 

“Hey!” you cried. “Don’t take me with you! The flirting won’t have any effect on her if she thinks we’re together!” 

“Everyone thinks we’re together,” Jeno muttered and got in line behind an old man. “She checked me out when we entered the cafe, saw you arm-in-arm with me and gave you the dirtiest look to ever exist.” 

You snorted. “Liar. You might be an eye candy but you do not command such a high level of attention.”   

“I’m telling the truth!” he argued. “I would know because I was checking out the drink she placed on the counter. I was trying to figure out what the person’s order might have been to get something so incredibly delicious-looking. I saw her out of the corner of my eye.” 

“Oh.” You frowned and took a step forward when the line moved ahead. “That’s unfortunate. Should we go to another cafe and try our hand at getting something free there?” 

“How about you stop being such a cheap skate for once?”

Slapping his shoulder hard, you grumbled, “I have to bear the weight of my goddamn rent alone while you share yours with three others! I need to cut down on certain things, asshole.” 

“My offer to move in with you next semester still stands.” Jeno wiggled his eyebrows. “I’m a really good housemate; ask the others.” 

“You live with boys. The disgusting things you do don’t bother them because they do them too.” 

He closed his mouth and thought about it for a second. Then, “Touché.” 

You rolled your eyes, but before you could make another snarky comment, a pleasant voice interrupted, “Good morning. What can I get for you today?” 

Jeno averted his gaze to the girl standing behind the counter and let a lazy smile take form on his lips. You raised a brow and watched in amusement. 

“Hey there. Can I get a Strawberries & Crème Frappuccino with 1 pump caramel syrup, 1 pump hazelnut syrup, and 1 pump toffee-nut syrup? Java chips too, please.” 

The girl—Lia, according to her name tag—looked surprised to see him blatantly flirting with you right beside him. Maybe he was right about every stranger assuming the two of you to be together, though you couldn’t fathom why. “O—okay.”

“What do you want, friend?” Jeno stressed the last word. Refraining to roll your eyes a second time, you said, 

“Iced coffee without milk. Could you add some sugar to the brew? I prefer my drinks to be sweet.” 

“Of course,” she said and nodded once, unfazed even after learning of Jeno’s status as an eligible bachelor. 

Snorting under your breath, you whispered to him, “Lia doesn’t give a fuck. You’re lacking.” 

He scoffed and nudged you away. “No, I’m not,” he whisper-snapped. “Get out of here. You’re killing my vibe.” 

You deadpanned and gave him a don’t-bullshit-me look but retreated to your booth nonetheless. The last thing you heard Lia ask was: “Anything else?” 

You’d only been sitting and scrolling through your phone for a few minutes before a hand slapped a receipt on the table in front of you. 

Glancing up, you inquired, “What?” 

“Read the order.” 

Dropping your gaze to the piece of paper again, you picked it up. An appreciative frown tugged at your lips as Jeno slid into his seat. “You managed to get us a free muffin and a free bagel?”

“Don’t ever question my talents again,” he ordered and leaned back. Resting his arm on the cushion behind him and placing his ankle on his knee, his attitude was nothing short of a king’s. “I won’t tolerate any further slander.” 

“Uh-huh,” you muttered, utterly unimpressed. Though you admit, a smile threatened to break out on your face and you had to bite your lip to keep it from escaping. 

Jeno raised an eyebrow, as if waiting for something. All you did was stare at him, and when he realised you wouldn’t budge, he did an extremely horrible and high-pitched imitation of you that should have deserved jail. “Thank you sooooooo much, Jeno! If it weren’t for your flirting skills, I wouldn’t have anything to eat. You’re my one and only saviour, and I don’t know what I would have done without—”

“Order for Jeno!” Lia hollered. 

Said-boy flinched and clutched his heart with his hand. “What the… That was quick.” Clearing his throat, he turned his attention back to you, the tips of his ears red and his face flushed. “Whatever. I’ll be right back. Venmo me the bill amount.” 

You snickered and watched him get up. However, before he could move out of earshot, you called his name. “Thank you for your service.” 

Jeno glanced at you over his shoulder and did nothing but observe you for a moment. Then, a lopsided grin took form on his lips and he mock saluted. 

“You’re welcome.” 

02. gives good boy advice

“What are you doing here?” 

Pushing past you, Jeno strolled into your living room and plopped down on your sofa. “Is that any way to greet your best friend?” 

You rolled your eyes and closed the front door. Sitting down beside him, you placed your laptop on your lap again and resumed going through your notes. “I’m being serious. Were we supposed to hang out today? Because I cannot. I still have three finals left.” 

“No, we didn’t have any plans today,” he said, peering over your shoulder to check what subject you were studying. It was Economics. Horrible memories from the previous semester resurfaced and he shuddered before continuing, “Your text said you wanted to talk about something important?” 

You paused and glanced at him. “So you came over?” 

“Do you want me to leave?” Jeno frowned. “I thought it would be better to talk in person.”

He stood up and dusted himself off. Eyes widening, you grabbed his wrist and forced him back to his original position. “That’s not what I meant! I do want to talk to you but—it’s weird. I don’t feel like dealing with whatever has happened right now and I’m getting second thoughts about asking you for advice.” 

Concern seeped into Jeno’s face. “Woah, are you okay? You don’t have to explain anything right now. Just tell me one thing: do I need to beat anyone up? I’ve got a few gym buddies who are ripped.”

You huffed a laugh and placed your laptop on the coffee table. Crossing your legs, you turned to face him. Upon watching you get comfortable, your best friend rolled his shoulders back and did the same thing. 

“Before I say anything, I need you to promise me that you won’t laugh. Or make fun of me. Or call me an idiot.” 

“I won’t,” he answered immediately, though he wondered what issue warranted you to require his word. 

Taking a deep breath, you nodded. “YangYang asked me out a few days ago. I’ve always liked him, but not in a way that’s not platonic. I fucked up and instead of rejecting him right there, I asked him for some time to think it over and kinda led him to believe that I would say yes.”

Jeno raised an eyebrow. “How?” 

“I told him he’s my type,” you mumbled, cringing at the memories that came rushing back. 

“What?!” he exclaimed. “How the hell did you manage to do that?” 

“I don’t know!” you whined and buried your face in your hands. “He came up to me when I was in the library and asked if we could talk! I didn’t know he was going to drop such a bomb on me so I said yes. Then he started talking about how he’s always cherished our friendship and how he’s so glad to have me.

“I started suspecting where his train of thought was headed when he added a but to his sentence. He said he’s liked me for a while now and he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. I was flabbergasted once he was done! I’ve always viewed him as a good friend and I didn’t want to just turn his heart down!”

“So you told him he was your type?” Jeno asked incredulously. “I know I promised to not call you an idiot but you’re really fucking stupid, Y/N! It’s going to be hella awkward when the group meets up!” 

You groaned and closed your eyes shut, letting yourself fall on your back. “That’s not even the worst part.” 

Jeno grabbed your wrists and hauled you back up. His face was barely a few inches away from yours when he ordered, “Explain.”

Taking a deep breath, you continued. “I told YangYang that he was cute and my type but I wasn’t in a position to think about going out with anyone with still two weeks of finals left to get through. I thought he would drop it but he asked me if I would think about his confession after our exams and I felt terrible telling him the truth. So I said I would. Yeji called me last night and said she set me up on a blind date with this guy in her class. You know how fast word spreads here. YangYang is going to know I dangled him on strings only to go on a date with someone else!” 

“You’re going on a blind date? With whom?” 

You flicked Jeno’s forehead. “That’s not the issue!” 

“Well, I want to know!” he sputtered and slapped your hand away. 

“I don’t know! Frankly, I don’t care either. I made a bet with Yeji and I lost. Now I have to spend an evening with a random guy I don’t even want to seek a romantic relationship with.” 

Your best friend sighed in frustration. “This might be one of your biggest fuck-ups till now.”

“I know,” you said quietly and dropped your gaze to your lap in shame. 

“You’ll have to apologise to YangYang and tell him the truth. He’s a good guy and he doesn’t deserve any of this.” 

“I know.” 

“Hey,” Jeno said softly. You glanced at him to see he’d gotten up and was holding his out for you. “Come here.” 

You rose to your feet and let him envelop you in his comforting embrace. Burying your face in his chest, you whispered, “I never wanted to hurt YangYang. I don’t want to lose him as a friend.” 

“You won’t as long as you come clean and explain everything. Don’t insult him further by giving him more half-truths. Guys would rather know what’s the real deal than be lied to and find out from someone else. Not only is it hurtful, but it’s a huge blow to the ego.”  

Your lips curled in a small smile and you leaned back a little to look at his face. “Is this about your mom lying to you about the tooth fairy?” 

“Damn right it is,” he grumbled. “I gave an entire speech about her being my favourite person in the whole world. That’s not something you recover from easily.”

“It’s been 15 years.”

“It’ll take me another 15 to come to terms with the fact that I used to rip my loose teeth out and place them under my pillow when I needed money urgently.” 

You laughed and pulled yourself out of his arms. “I can’t believe I’m taking guy advice from you.” 

“Why?” Jeno exclaimed. “I’m a guy too! Plus, I always give good advice!” 

You giggled and plopped down on the sofa again. “I know. But you’re also Jeno. I’ve never thought of you as just a guy.” 

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.” 

“How about you sit your ass down and help me study now that you’re here? I made flash cards.” 

Snatching the stack from your hand, Jeno teased, “Oh, how would you survive without me?”

“I don’t have to wonder about that shit.” You grinned. “There’s no way in hell you’re getting rid of me anytime soon.” 

He laughed. “And thank fuck for that.” 

03. hugs always make you feel safe thanks to all the beef underneath

You were going to drag Jeno to the seventh circle of Hell. 

You couldn’t afford to go grocery shopping with him when you had a huge exam the next day. You hadn’t studied shit and were one “have you prepared for tomorrow’s final?” away from a mental breakdown. 

It didn’t help that Yeji had called you in the middle of the night to clear a doubt she had from a chapter you didn’t even know had been covered.

You’d been panicking ever since and it felt like you were going to get a heart attack at any moment.  

“Doritos or Lays?” 

“Kick to the nuts or knuckles to the jaw?” 

Your best friend tore his gaze from the rack of chips and eyed you warily. “I said I’ll help you study tonight.” 

“You don’t understand, Jeno!” you exclaimed and ran a hand through your messy hair, pacing in the supermarket aisle impatiently. “I’m going to fail! Fail!”  

Groaning, Jeno grabbed your arm and forced you to face him. He held your shoulders and looked you in the eyes, enunciating each word as he reiterated, “You’re not going to fail. We’re going to pull an all-nighter in the library, but we need to be stocked up on food before we do that.” 

You sighed painfully. It burned your eyes to just focus on anything—how the hell were you supposed to stay awake for another day and write a three-hour-long exam after that? 

“You could have come here without dragging me with you,” you muttered. “I could have been studying at home instead of wasting precious time.”

Jeno frowned. “Any more time in front of your laptop and you would have gone insane, Y/N. Your eyes are completely red.” 

“Oh, that’s not because of the screen time. I cried before you came to check on me.” 

Huffing a small laugh that bordered on exasperation, amusement and worry, Jeno threw a few packets of Doritos in the shopping cart before slinging an arm around your neck. You let him pull you against him and wrapped your arms around his waist as the two of you began walking. 

“Well, you needed to get out anyway. I don’t remember the last time I saw you leave your apartment.” 

“I stepped outside yesterday to play with the neighbour’s cat,” you said defensively. 

“Not good enough,” Jeno popped. “We’re going to go get a massage once we’re done shopping.” 

You stopped in your tracks and peeled yourself away from him. “The final is in twenty-eight hours!” you yelled, staring at him incredulously. “Are you fucking stupid?!” 

“So you have plenty of time to de-stress before you start studying again!” he chirped, paying no heed to your concerns nor the people who had heard your outburst and were giving you odd looks. “Trust me, I went for a massage before my final and I was so relaxed. It helped me to focus too.” 

“Jeno,” you uttered his name with barely contained impatience. “I don’t have time. I need to cover a lot of shit before I go and sit in the fucking examination hall.” 

“And I said I’ll help!” he repeated, sounding almost exasperated. Pushing the shopping cart forward again, he studied the shelves and continued, “You always do this, Y/N. You freak out before a test and act like the world is ending only for you to do super well.”

“Well—” you began, stumbling after him— “that’s just my coping mechanism! The more worried I am, the better I do. But I’m screwed for real this time!” 

“No,” Jeno popped, placing a 2-litre bottle of Sprite in the cart. “I’m not listening to you this time. Especially not after you stayed awake for three days straight for your midterm.” 

You sighed again. There was no arguing with your best friend. “How long is this massage of yours going to take?” 

“We’ll be back at your place in two hours max,” he reassured you, patting your head. You swatted his hand away and gave him a dirty look. “I think we have everything we need to make it through today and tomorrow.” 

“Why do we need such a big bottle of Sprite?” 

“Party at my place this weekend. There’s a discount so I’m buying in advance.”

You frowned. “Shouldn’t you be stocking up on booze?”

“The guys said I have an alcohol addiction,” Jeno said, getting in line at the billing counter. “Which is, like, totally untrue but you know I never back down from a challenge. I’m going to prove them wrong by staying sober for two weeks.”

“Sure,” you snorted. “You’ll just find lame loopholes or cheat when no one’s looking.”

A sly grin took form on Jeno’s lips. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and drawled, “I know what you do when no one’s looking.”

“Really?” You feigned a gasp. “You know I sneak over to your house and steal your food when you’re not there?”

His smile dropped immediately. “Wait, what? That’s you? Not Hyuck?”

“The food thief is me but the one stealing your sheet masks is Hyuck,” you admitted.

“He steals my masks?! The ones I buy are expensive as fuck!” Jeno exclaimed, betrayal seeping into his features. His hands fell to his side and his eyes turned distant. “I can’t believe he’s been gaslighting me into thinking I do an extra round of skincare when I’m drunk.”

You giggled and pushed the shopping cart forward once the person in front of you was done. Placing the contents on the billing counter for the cashier to scan, you revealed, “Hyuck saw me raiding your pantry when you were at the gym. He used that as leverage against me for weeks before I saw him stealing your sheet masks and was able to finally strike a deal—he turns a blind eye to my robberies and I turn a blind eye to his.”

“Why’d you team up with him?” Jeno pouted. “I thought we were best friends.”

You laughed incredulously. “Seriously? That’s what you’re focusing on? Not the part where Hyuck and I used your stuff without asking?”

“Well, yeah, I’m pissed you used my shit. But I guess I’m just a little more bothered that you guys teamed up,” Jeno said and shrugged, fetching his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. “Because, you know, coming together to make people suffer has always been our thing.”

You raised an eyebrow, slightly amused by how he was beating around the bush. “Are you saying you wanna team up with me to get back at Hyuck?”

Jeno grinned. “I’m gonna screw over that motherfucker so bad. You get off the hook, though, because you’re cute and I need your help.”

“You’re impossible.” You huffed and shook your head. Taking the bag of groceries, you said to him, “Text me my share and I’ll Venmo the money to you.”

“You could buy me an ice cream instead.”

“No,” you denied immediately. “We’re not wasting time on ice cream. Massage and then straight home so I can pick up my study material and we can leave for the library.”

Thankfully, Jeno didn’t protest. He drove you to your apartment complex and waited for you while you packed your bag. Then, the two of you were off to the massage place.

An hour later, you were done and forced to admit that the massage had indeed helped you. It felt like all the stress had left your body. Thinking about the final didn’t make you want to cry anymore and things were actually looking up now that you were rested.

You were able to retain the knowledge better and it was easier to understand the concepts. Jeno quizzed you and provided you with an endless supply of coffee throughout the night.

Right before lunch the next day, however, the panic resurfaced as you were revising your syllabus for the last time before your final at 3. You couldn’t seem to remember anything you had studied the previous night. 

You could feel another breakdown coming, but before you could hyperventilate, Jeno scooped you up in his arms.

You hadn’t even realised when he’d come back from picking up your food. One minute, you were trying to control your breath and the next, your face was buried in his hard chest.

You held onto his shirt as his hands rubbed soothing circles on your back and he rocked you from side to side.

“Shh, don’t cry,” he mumbled and kissed the top of your head. “You’re gonna ace the final like you always do. You were able to answer all the quiz questions, so keep in mind that you are prepared. The pre-exam anxiety is just clouding your thoughts. Everything’s gonna come back to you when you sit down to write, alright?”

Nodding, you clenched your eyes shut and bit down on your lip to keep a sob from escaping. Jeno’s presence kept acting like a tether for you. It always had.

Maybe he was right about the final. Maybe he wasn’t. But at that moment, engulfed in his warm, safe embrace, it felt like everything was going to be okay.

𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 !

01. having to deal with a narcissistic asshole. 

It was an especially sweltering day. 

You were being baked inside-out despite wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts, your hair tied in a messy high bun. Adding to your torment was your broken A/C. You’d requested your landlord to fix it several times but your efforts were to no avail. 

You would have kept bothering him incessantly and gotten the job done if you weren’t so intimidated by him already. 

Sighing, you eyed your bathroom. A cold shower sounded like an amazing idea. Jeno wasn’t supposed to come over to watch the movie for a while anyway. 

Deciding to cool yourself and get rid of the sweat sticking to your body, you entered the tiny bathroom. A high-pitched squeal left your mouth the moment you turned the shower knob and the cold water hit your skin. 

“Fuck,” you cursed and flinched, turning the knob the other way immediately. Your shitty apartment didn’t even have a valve to adjust the temperature—the water was either mildly hot or ice cold. Showering in summer was always a big problem.

“God, I don’t wanna keep doing this,” you mumbled to yourself and stepped into your room again. 

There was this… thing you’d been doing ever since you moved into this apartment. Whenever it was hot, you’d work out so you’d get more sweaty. That way, when you showered under the ice-cold water, it didn’t feel as unbearable. 

It was weird and there probably was no science behind it, but you didn’t care as long as it worked. 

So, you rolled out your yoga mat on the floor and began warming up. 

Within no time, your skin was glistening with sweat and your hair was damp. You were struggling to complete the last push-up of your final set when someone knocked on your door, causing you to lose your focus. Your arms gave out beneath you, and you collapsed to the ground. 

“Woah, it’s boiling in here,” Jeno pointed out intelligently. “And you look like you’re one move away from dying. God, I can’t even breathe Why the fuck are you working out with the windows closed? Are you stupid?” 

Groaning, you rolled on your back and watched your best friend as he moved to the windows and threw them open. “Hey!” you protested weakly and raised a trembling arm in a pathetic attempt to stop him. “I’m trying to do something!”

Jeno raised an eyebrow at you and grabbed your hand, hauling you up effortlessly. “Oh, yeah? Pray tell.” 

You crashed into his chest and rebounded, but he tightened his hold on you. His palm hovered over your back in case you lost your balance. Steadying yourself, you glared at him and snapped, “No. You’re gonna make fun of me.”

“I won’t!” Jeno laughed, his eyes crinkling. 

“Stop, you’re doing it already!” 

“Okay! Okay, I’m sorry. I really do wanna know what you were doing.” 

You eyed him for a moment, waiting for him to slip up and start laughing again. But Jeno’s face remained mildly curious. Satisfied, you explained, “Well, because I was feeling hot, I decided to take a shower. The water here is very cold, though, so I decided to work out in a closed room because that would make me even hotter. If I get in the shower now, it wouldn’t feel as cold because my body temperature has already increased, and the water would be sort of neutralised.” 

A beat of silence passed. And then, “I know I said I wouldn’t make fun of you—”

“Then stop talking.”

“But did you not realise you could have mixed the hot and cold water in a bucket?” Jeno continued, clearly still talking. “Or, I don’t know, come over to my place to shower?” 

“You live with three other men.” You deadpanned. “I was not going to shower in your apartment with Jaemin, Renjun and Hyuck there. Also, I don’t have a big enough bucket, so I will be buying one today,” you added, muttering the last bit. 

Jeno rolled his eyes. “God, Y/N, I would have kicked the guys out.” 

“What makes you think they would have listened to you?” you asked amusedly.

“Okay, true,” he agreed. “They would have listened to you, though. If there’s anyone who’s bossy enough to get them out of the house on a hot Sunday afternoon, it’s you.” 

“Are you calling me bossy?” 

“Are you going to shower now?” he deflected. “You stink.”

“Shut up!” you exclaimed and slapped his shoulder hard, but laughed nonetheless. Moving away from him, you kicked him off your yoga mat and said, “You opened the windows and interrupted my workout, so I don’t feel as hot anymore. I think I’m gonna exercise a little more so I don’t die of hypothermia in the shower. You can take my laptop and choose a movie till then if you want.”

“How about I work out with you?” Jeno suggested. “We can have our gym bros moment.” 

“I don’t wanna have a gym bros moment with you.”

“Why?” he whined. 

Flicking his forehead, you said, “Because I know you’re gonna turn this into a competition, and I’m not in the mood.” 

“Scared?”

“You wish,” you scoffed. “I’m tired from all the working out I did before you came, and I’m not going against you when you have that advantage over me.” 

“That still means you’re scared. Pussy.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you got into the position for a plank. “Get out if you’re going to keep being annoying and not contribute shit to our gym bros moment.”

“I knew you’d come around,” Jeno replied smugly. You practically heard the grin in his voice when he said that. 

You closed your eyes and laboured your breathing as you felt your abdomen begin to burn almost immediately. “Had to, or I knew you’d keep irritating me.” 

Opening your lids, you turned your neck to see if he was doing the exercise with you. 

Your arms gave out the moment you saw Jeno shirtless, his bulging biceps on full display.

“Damn, you lost quicker than I thought,” he commented. 

“Why are you naked?!” you demanded in a shrill voice. 

Still in position, Jeno only glanced at you like you were out of your mind. “I was wearing a hoodie, Y/N. Did you expect me to do a plank in that furnace?” 

“Yeah!” you exclaimed. To your dismay, your eyes kept drifting to his well-defined muscles no matter how much you tried to focus on his face. 

To make things worse, Jeno noticed. And smirked. “Stop complaining if you’re enjoying the view so much. It’s okay to admit you have a hot best friend.”

Flustered, you scrambled to your feet and looked at the ceiling. God, you felt like a stupid middle schooler. It was insane how much of an effect Jeno was having on you. What was weirder was that your mind was drifting to places it had never been before. At least where your best friend was concerned. 

“Narcissus has nothing on you,” you muttered under your breath, and tried to gather your bearings. 

“Besides,” Jeno continued, having not heard you. “I do send you pictures sometimes. I don’t know why you’re acting like you’ve never seen me like this.” 

“Your phone’s camera is fucked, Jeno,” you grumbled. “The photos you texted me didn’t capture half of what’s actually there.”

No matter what you hadn’t seen, you’d felt whenever you hugged each other. It didn’t take away your surprise upon seeing the 2440p quality visual though. 

“Is that disappointment I hear?” he taunted. 

“No!” you exclaimed and finally looked at him again. At the sight of his working muscles, you muttered, “Can we stop now? You won.”

“Ah!” Jeno dragged the word as if he had just stumbled upon a revelation. “You want me to stand up so you can get a better view of my abs? Got it.” 

Your eyes widened, and before you could deny his ridiculous accusations, he was towering over you. Wiggling his eyebrows, he gestured towards himself and flexed dramatically. 

“You’re an idiot,” you huffed, unable to help yourself. 

“Yeah? Then I guess an idiot just managed to fluster the shit out of you.” Jeno smiled and ruffled your hair. Bending, he picked up his discarded hoodie and shrugged it back on. “I’ll go and get you a bathing bucket from the supermarket around the corner. Don’t freeze yourself to death.” 

You rolled your eyes. “I won’t.” 

“Also, do you remember the shirt I forgot here all those months ago after I got wet in the rain? Can you find it so I can change into it when I’m back?” He frowned and looked at himself. “I’ll eventually toast myself if I watch the movie in my hoodie.”

“Sure, but you’re stupid for wearing warm clothes in summer,” you commented.  

Jeno gave you a dirty look. “Sorry for assuming your A/C was in working condition. Besides, you always want to cuddle when we watch movies, so I figured you’d be more comfortable if I was wearing a hoodie.” 

Your cheeks warmed at that, your heart stumbling a beat. What was wrong with you? You’d always known Jeno was caring and went out of his way to do nice things for you.

Typically, you’d have felt grateful for how thoughtful he was being. 

Now, though, you felt that and… something else that you didn’t really want to acknowledge. 

“Whatever,” you said instead, trying to sound dismissive. Pushing him out of your room, you continued, “I’ll find it. Just hurry up with the bucket.” 

A few minutes after Jeno was gone, a notification popped up on your phone. 

[jeno]: clearer picture that i clicked on jaemin’s phone for your viewing pleasure :”) 

You blinked in confusion and opened the photo that was attached below, your eyes widening the moment you saw it. It was a zoomed-in gym mirror selfie of Jeno wearing nothing but sweatpants and shoes, his muscular abdomen on full display. 

[you]: did you crop jaemin? 

[jeno]: ???? [jeno]: wdym……. [you]: the photo’s dimensions are weird [jeno]: oh [jeno]: what the fuck [you]: LMFAOOO [jeno]: STOP I DIDN’T WANT YOU LOOKING AT HIM INSTEAD OF ME I’VE GOT A BETTER BODY ANYWAY AND I’M GONNA BUY A NEW PHONE SO I CAN SEND YOU CLEARER PICS WITHOUT HAVING TO CROP THAT FUCKER OUT 

You bit down on your lip to keep yourself from smiling too wide. Right before you were about to type a reply, you received another text from your best friend. 

[jeno]: so are you gonna tell me what you think [you]: FINE you’re hot. [you]: happy?  [jeno]: euphoric

Finally laughing out loud, you shook your head. 

Narcissus had nothing on Jeno indeed.

02. female friends ask you to be their wingwoman 

You didn’t think you’d ever accompanied Jeno to a party without having someone ask you to set them up with him. 

“Please,” Yoo Jimin begged for what seemed like the thousandth time. “Yeji said he was single!” 

Sighing, you mentally cursed Yeji for inviting Jimin to Jeno’s party. “He is, but I’m not setting you up with him.” 

“Why?” Jimin demanded rather aggressively, making you wonder what it would take for her to quit nagging you. “Do you like him or something?” 

It took a concerning amount of effort for you to refrain from rolling your eyes. “I do not.” 

“Then what’s the problem?” 

“I don’t know, Jimin!” you finally burst and gestured at your surroundings. “Maybe I’m not too keen on helping you out because you followed me into the washroom and cornered me! Maybe I feel used because you’ve never shown much interest in me even though I’ve tried striking up a conversation with you several times before!”  

Jimin’s features softened, and she looked away. “You’re right,” she muttered, guilt and shame evident in her voice. “I’m sorry for jumping on you like that.” 

You immediately felt bad for snapping at her. Pursing your lips, you tried to cheer her up. “Don’t worry about it. You don’t need me to set you up with him anyway. I know we haven’t hung out much, but based on what I’ve heard about you from Yeji, you’re smart, funny and social. You have no reason to be nervous while approaching Jeno.” 

For some reason, you regretted encouraging Jimin to pursue your best friend. A gaping hole formed in your heart, and you wished she would go for someone else instead. 

“Thanks, Y/N.” Jimin smiled gratefully. “I know I’ve been a shitty person, but could you give me another chance? I’d really like to get to know you more.” 

And just like that, the hollowness in your chest was gone. You gave her a genuine smile of your own and said, “I gotta pee right now, but does lunch tomorrow work for you?”

Jimin’s eyes widened. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I forgot where we were.” Rubbing the nape of her neck sheepishly, she replied, “Lunch works. I’ll text you tonight so we can talk about it.” 

The two of you exchanged your goodbyes, and then she was gone. A few minutes later, you exited the washroom as well and headed back to the party. 

“I missed you,” a voice slurred in your ear. Arms circled around your waist, and a face buried itself into the crook of your neck. 

You laughed. “You failed the challenge, Jeno.” 

“Where were you?” he demanded in an almost whiny tone. “It’s your fault! I wouldn’t have lost at beer pong if you’d been playing with me.” 

Patting Jeno’s back in consolation, you replied, “I’m sorry you have zero self-control and commit to things you know you won’t be able to do.” 

Jeno peeled himself away from you and pouted. “You’re mean.”

“Thanks. Let’s get wasted together,” you said, but then added upon looking at his already tipsy condition, “Or I can get wasted, and your ass can keep me company.”  

“Don’t you think one of us should be sober?” Jeno asked as you pulled him along.

“I’m not gonna hold back from drinking!” you exclaimed. “Let me remind you that you were supposed to be the sober one today and make sure I didn’t do anything stupid. I’m blaming you if I get naked in the yard.” 

Thanks to the music that was gradually getting louder as you approached the main party area, you didn’t hear your best friend’s response. You tightened your grip on his hand when the crowd thickened. Wading your way through the dancing throng, you finally reached the table lined with alcohol and food. 

You chose a bottle of Romanov and popped it open, drinking straight from it. You’d barely taken a few gulps when Jeno snatched it from you and put it to his own mouth. 

Throwing him a dirty look, you picked up another bottle for yourself. “Do you wanna dance?”

“I wanna throw up.” 

“Suit yourself.” You shrugged and aimed for the dance floor. A smile crept on your face upon seeing Jaemin; you were not in the mood to dance alone. 

“Y/N!” he hollered when he noticed you. Stumbling towards you, he pulled you in a quick embrace. “I haven’t seen you in so long!” 

“Finals!” you answered. Jaemin nodded in understanding and ran a hand through his hair, taking a swig from his beer. “Do you wanna dance?” 

You grinned. “You know I do.” 

The next few hours were a complete blur. The bottle in your hand was replaced by more one after the other, and when Jaemin deemed you’d had enough to drink, he gave you a red solo cup filled with water instead. 

It felt good to finally unwind after the horrible few weeks you’d had. There was no academic stress weighing down on you anymore, and though you were low on sleep, you didn’t want to stop partying. 

You just wished you and Jeno had gotten wasted together. While you were having fun with Jaemin, partying with Jeno was a different experience entirely. 

Right as you were about to take a sip from your cup, you felt an arm being thrown around your neck. The touch was so familiar that you recognised who it was immediately. 

“I missed you!” you exclaimed. Jeno looked down at you with a grin on his face, a pair of black party glasses sitting on his nose. His hair was damp and fell over his forehead. Maybe it was the liquor in your system, but you could have sworn he never looked better. “Let’s dance.”

“Dance?” Jeno laughed. “Haven’t you been doing that for the past two hours? Don’t your feet hurt?” 

Frowning, you glanced at your legs. “They do!” you exclaimed, and looked back at him again, your bottom lip sticking out in a pout. Feeling tears beginning to pool in your eyes, you mumbled, “But I still want to dance.”

“How about we go on the roof instead? The stars look pretty tonight,” your best friend suggested, trying his best not to laugh at you. “I didn’t drink at all after you left me. I’m sober enough to take care of you now.” 

Your eyes lit up at that. “Wow, that’s such a good idea! You’re so smart, Jeno. I love you.”  

Jeno’s lips finally twitched up in a smile. “I love you too, silly.” 

Plucking the solo cup out of your hand, he offered you an arm. You looped yours through it with a soft thank you and leaned on him as he led you upstairs. 

The two of you entered his dark room, and Jeno shut the door behind him. Only when the loud music was muffled did you realise your head was throbbing.  

He unhooked your arms gently and grabbed a warm blanket off his bed. Throwing open his window, he jumped out on the flat roof and looked at you expectantly. 

You staggered behind Jeno and took the hand he was holding out for you. His other hand hovered over your waist as you climbed on the sill. 

Thanks to the alcohol in your system, your balance was non-existent, and your legs turned to jelly the moment they made contact with the roof. Fortunately, your best friend was there to catch you.

You bumped into Jeno’s chest instead of falling to the ground. He wrapped his arms around you and steadied you, laughing a little at your antics. 

“God, how much did you drink?” you heard him wonder to himself. You mumbled an incoherent response and leaned against the outside wall of his room, watching him lay the spread on the floor. 

The two of you usually climbed the ladder that led to the slanting roof at the very top of the house, but you reckoned the boy in front of you didn’t want to risk taking you up there when you were so wasted. 

Jeno sat down on the blanket once he was done and peeked at you over his shoulder, patting the space beside him. “Come on.” 

Pushing yourself off the siding, you stumbled to him, tripping over your feet a bit. You were able to keep your balance, though, and a moment later, you found yourself lying on the blanket next to him.

Your shoulders brushed against each other, the warmth from his body seeping into you. It was summer, but the night air was still chilly, especially now that you were on the roof. You were thankful for the protection Jeno offered against the mild cold. 

The music was blaring once again now that you were outside, and there were no barriers to deafen it, but the volume barely bothered you. Your eyes were on the stars, trying to identify the constellations.

“I see Orion right there,” Jeno said, pointing at the sky. You followed his finger, and sure enough, there it was. “And there’s Ursa Minor.” He moved his hand after noting that you had recognised Orion. 

“I don’t see it,” you muttered, blinking heavily to clear your sight. 

“Can you see Polaris?” he asked, glancing at you for a moment. 

You raised your hand and pointed it at a random star that was nowhere near the one Jeno was referring to. “There.” 

Jeno snorted. “You could spot Orion, but you can’t identify the brightest star in the sky?” Without waiting for a response, your best friend grabbed your arm and directed it to the right star. “That is Polaris.” 

“Woah.” You gaped and lowered your arm. “It’s so shiny.” 

Jeno laughed again upon hearing the child-like wonder in your voice. You stargazed often and always challenged each other to see who could identify the most constellations in a minute. He knew the night sky was familiar to you, but seeing you like this reminded Jeno of the first time he brought you to his roof and introduced you to his favourite hobby. 

“Do you want it?” he teased. 

Eyes widening, you turned your neck to look at him, your faces so close you could count his lashes. “Really?” 

“Really,” he said and pinched your cheek, unable to help himself. “I’ll get it for you.” 

A wide smile immediately broke across your lips, and you threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you!” you squealed. 

Jeno chuckled, a little surprised that you had practically climbed on top of him, and part of him was caged under you now. He didn’t mind the sudden intimacy. It had always been his love language; any sort of physical contact with you—be it comparing hand sizes or carrying you on his back—warmed his heart. 

Patting your head, he asked, “You want me to show you the rest of Ursa Minor?” 

“Yes.” You nodded into the crook of his neck and peeled yourself away from him, but your head still rested where his shoulder met his arm. 

Brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen on your face, he averted his gaze to the sky. “Polaris is the tail of The Little Dipper. Now we move towards the left. See the star that’s above the brightest? That’s Delta. Epsilon is above Delta too, but the distance between them is not as much as the distance between the first two. Zeta is below—” 

You tuned Jeno out. He was still showing you the stars that made up the constellations, far too invested to notice that you were no longer paying attention to what he was saying and were looking at something much more beautiful instead. 

You’d always known your best friend was attractive. You’d have to be blind to not notice his striking features—they were sharp with a certain softness around the edges. His face always stood out in crowds and demanded people’s undivided attention. 

Rightfully so, you thought to yourself as you admired his perfectly straight nose and the shape of his soft lips, diverting your gaze to his eyes. You’d always thought they were his best features. They were warm and open and felt like home. It deserves to be appreciated. 

“Pherka, Eta, Kochab and Zeta form a—”

“You’re prettier.”

Jeno glanced at you, your faces mere inches away and those beautiful eyes peering into yours with slight confusion. “What?”

“You said the stars looked pretty tonight,” you whispered. “I think you’re prettier.” You paused for a moment, as if rethinking your words. Then, “I think you’re the prettiest person in the world.”

A fond smile crept on your best friend’s face, and maybe it was because your ear was in the vicinity of his heart, but you could have sworn you heard it thumping loudly against his ribcage. Lightly bumping his forehead against yours, Jeno whispered back, 

“I think you’re the prettiest person in the world too.” 

03. it’s very easy to fall for them, especially when they’re always so sweet and caring

The first thing you felt upon regaining your consciousness was pain. 

Your skull was splitting apart, the little bit of sunlight creeping in through the closed curtains rendering you blind. Nausea was beginning to set in, but your body was so weak that you weren’t sure you could make it to the toilet in time. 

You should have never drunk so much. Not only had you not taken any proper rest after working yourself to exhaustion during your finals, but had also danced to the point you couldn’t move your legs. Heck, you couldn’t even remember much of the party. You recalled leaving Jeno behind to party with Jaemin, but everything after that was a huge blank slate. 

The toilet was far away, but you could try reaching the dustbin near the study table instead of just throwing up on the carpet. Groaning, you tried to push yourself up. When that didn’t work, you put all strength in your abdomen and threw yourself off the bed. 

A shockwave of agony passing through your body rendered you immobile on the ground. You moaned in pain and curled in on yourself, covering your mouth with a hand upon tasting bile on your tongue. 

The door was thrown open, and a worried Jeno gaped at you lying on his room’s hard floor motionlessly. “What the fuck?” 

“Dustbin,” you croaked with much difficulty, tears springing to your eyes. They hurt so much you wanted to rip them out. 

Your best friend moved into action immediately. “I kept the dustbin right beside the bed in case you got sick, you blind twat truck. Along with painkillers and water on the table.”  

You found it in yourself to glare at the boy, but he ignored you. Placing the waste basket in front of you, he helped you up. You gripped the rim as he gathered your hair in his hand and held it up to avoid it getting in the way of your vomit. 

Right before you emptied the toxins in your body, you managed to say to him, “How capable do I look to you right now, you stupid toe-licking grinch man?” 

Jeno rolled his eyes and rubbed your back with his other hand, patiently waiting for you to finish. Once your heaving stopped, you took the tissue he was holding out for you and wiped your mouth. You felt much better after throwing up but you were still so tired. 

“Come on.”

You swatted Jeno’s hand away and rested your back on his bed, tucking your legs under your chin. “Too much effort,” you muttered and closed your eyes, willing the headache to go away.

“I was going to carry you to the bed, Y/N,” he said in exasperation. 

“I just need a moment,” you whispered almost incoherently, wishing he would stop asking you questions when you had no energy to answer. “A moment and an Aspirin.” 

There was some shuffling, and then you felt a hand brushing your matted hair out of your face. “Here.”

You peeled your lids open to see Jeno crouched in front of you with water and the painkiller you had asked for. Taking it from his hand, you popped it into your mouth and gulped down some water. 

For a few moments, you tried to regulate your breathing and calm yourself down. Jeno could tell you were gathering the willpower and strength to climb back on his bed. He wanted to help, but you clearly didn’t want it. So, he just watched you silently struggle.

He should have been with you last night; he hated that he wasn’t when he had promised to be the sober half. As far as Jeno was concerned, Jaemin was going to get an earful about keeping tabs on how much his friends drank. Never in the two years of friendship had he seen you with such a huge hangover. 

“Fuck,” he heard you curse under your breath. You moaned in pain as you pushed yourself up on trembling arms and fell on his mattress. Sighing, Jeno tucked you in and pressed a chaste kiss on your forehead. 

“Sleep well,” he said and made his way to the door. “I’ll wake you up for lunch. Renjun is making grilled sandwiches.” 

Your eyes flew open again. Fuck. You were supposed to meet Jimin. 

“Jeno, wait,” you blurted, and he stopped in his tracks. “I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch, but I don’t think I can make it. Can you cover for me?” 

Your best friend leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest. “Which friend?” 

“Jimin.” 

“I thought she ghosted you.” He frowned. “Now you’re meeting her for lunch?” 

“No, you are meeting her for lunch. I don’t wanna be rude and cancel at the last minute. What if she already left?”

“It’s 10 in the morning.”

“Well, what if she turned down other offers because of the plans we made?” 

“She left an hour ago with Mark after passing out on the couch in Hyuck’s room last night. I doubt she’s had the time to turn down any other offers. Actually, I think she’ll be glad you cancelled. She looked pretty hungover when she left.”

“Why are you being so difficult?” you whined, wincing when the throbbing in your head responded to the sudden increase in the volume of your voice. “I’m only asking you for a small favour.” 

“I’m not being difficult,” Jeno defended himself and took a few steps towards you. “I’m trying to tell you that you may be overthinking this. Let me send her a text from your phone asking for a reschedule, and we can have some homemade lunch with the guys.” 

Sighing heavily, you averted your gaze from his and stared at the ceiling. “I just don’t wanna blow this. I think she’s really cool and I’d like to get to know her more. I’m good friends with everyone in our social circle except her. It’s awkward.” 

Jeno’s eyes softened at that. “Y/N, you’re not blowing anything. Rescheduling lunch because you both partied till you collapsed is not going to take away any points. Trust me.” 

Your best friend was right. You were overthinking this, but you didn’t exactly blame yourself. All your efforts to befriend Jimin had been futile till now. You didn’t want to do anything that could mess up the friendship that had begun to bloom last night. 

“Fine,” you finally relented. “Shoot her a text from my phone. I think it’s in my clothes bag—” you paused, your eyes widening. Lifting Jeno’s duvet in panic, you looked down at yourself. “Who changed my clothes?” 

“Ningning did!” Jeno answered quickly, the tips of his ears turning a bright red. He couldn’t understand why he was freaking out—nothing happened. 

You exhaled in relief, trying to get rid of the alien tingling feeling spreading throughout your body. Your cheeks were hot with embarrassment. “Okay. Well, my phone’s in my clothes bag.” 

Jeno busied himself, rummaging through your backpack that was on his bedside table. What you didn’t know, however, was that it was just a front for him to calm himself down. “Got it.” He waved the phone at you. “What’s your pin?”

“Your birthday.”

His eyebrows disappeared into his hairline, and a seed of warmth sprouted in his chest. A dizzying sense of affection for you washed over him, drenching him in happiness from head to toe. “Really?” 

You nodded and closed your eyes. Turning on your side to get into a more comfortable sleeping position, you buried yourself deeper under his sheets. Yawning, you mumbled, “Day-Month-Year with leading zeros.” 

“My password is your birthday too,” he said quietly after sending Jimin the text. “A lot of them are. It’s the easiest set of numbers to remember.”

You didn’t respond. Jeno didn’t mind. He knew you’d already fallen asleep. Keeping your phone on the table, he smiled sadly and stared at your resting figure in longing. “Everything about you is so easy to remember.”

Jeno closed the door behind him as he left, none the wiser about the fact that you were still awake and had heard everything he’d said, your heart beating so fast that you thought it was going to leap out of your chest. 

Your best friend left, completely unaware of the fact that you were now entertaining the possibility of being in love with him. 

𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒 !

01. the green-eyed monster you resent makes an appearance more than you’d like

You genuinely couldn’t believe your friend group and their seemingly never-ending social battery. 

One would think that after a long night of partying, a person would stay at home the next day and take some much-needed rest. Your friends, however, thought it was a good idea to meet up for dinner and decide what to do over the weekend. 

You didn’t bother to remind them of the wonderful invention that was group chats. 

“We should drive up to the beach,” Mark suggested, flipping through the menu. “Summer just started, so I don’t think there will be a lot of people.” 

All of you were seated in a round booth at the back of a diner Chenle said he frequented. You weren’t going to lie; you could see why. The setting was very homey, and the cushioning of the sofa was very cosy—you were almost sure you were going to fall asleep even before your food arrived. 

Ningning, who was sitting beside Mark, peeked over his shoulder to see what was listed. Minjeong said, “That’s stupid. The start of summer is exactly when beaches get overcrowded. Most don’t get to visit the ocean during the year, so they make a beeline for the beach as soon as break begins.”  

“True,” you heard Jeno say. He leaned back in his seat and put his arm on the cushion behind you. You resisted the urge to lean in. Taking a sip of his water, he continued, “Besides, we’re already going to Jeju Island for a week next month. I don’t think we should drive three hours to go to the beach right now.” 

“What about karaoke?” Jimin piped up. She was sitting on the other side of Minjeong, opposite from Chenle, who was on the other side of the table. 

“We don’t need an entire weekend for just karaoke,” Chenle pointed out. “We could do it whenever we want.”

“Well, what about—” 

“Hey, can I take your order?” a female voice that was a combination of annoyed, upbeat, friendly and polite interrupted Minjeong. The girl looked a little flustered at being cut off, but she cleared her throat and mumbled a small yeah, just give us a minute.

The waitress did not move, so all of you awkwardly picked up the menu cards and began flipping through them. 

“The usual for me, Yuna,” Chenle said, smiling up at her. To diffuse the sudden tension created in the air, he began making small talk with her as she waited. 

“What are you eating?” Jeno asked. He was closer to you now, his eyes scanning the contents of the menu card in your hand over your shoulder. 

You shrugged. “I don’t think I’m eating anything. I’m not very hungry.” 

Jeno’s eyebrows creased, and he glanced at your face in worry. “You haven’t had anything since lunch. At least drink something.” 

“It’s fine.” You dismissed him with a wave of your hand and pushed the card in his direction so he could order whatever he wanted. “I won’t be able to finish anything by myself and I don’t wanna waste food.” 

“How about we share?” he insisted. “You eat however much you want, and I’ll finish the rest. Don’t go to sleep on an empty stomach.” 

An internal battle began. While Jeno’s suggestion was sensible, you knew he didn’t like to share his food with anyone. You remembered a time when he had refused to go on a second date with a girl because she kept nibbling on his meal. You didn’t want him to do something he hated just for your sake. 

“Really, it’s fine,” you repeated. “You go ahead and—”

“Hey, Y/N,” Yeji called, making you divert your attention to her. “You wanna share a triple-decker chicken sandwich? Chenle said this place is famous all over town for that dish.” 

You had to admit, a triple-decker chicken sandwich did sound tasty. But you’d just turned down Jeno, so you didn’t wanna say yes to Yeji. Shaking your head, you once again said, “I’m not hungry.”

“Why aren’t you hungry?” Mark frowned, overhearing your conversation. The rest of your friend group looked at you in concern. Ningning asked, “Are you okay?” 

You groaned. The last thing you wanted to do was explain to everyone why you didn’t have an appetite. “I’m okay. I’m just not hungry because I had a lot for lunch.”

“That’s a lie,” Jeno commented unhelpfully, and you smacked his shoulder hard in retaliation. He winced, rubbing the area of attack. “Hey!” 

“Shut up!” you exclaimed. Taking a deep breath, you said to everyone with as little annoyance in your voice as you could, “Please just order what you want. I still feel a little weird after last night’s party, and I don’t think I can stomach anything right now.” Before anyone could reply, you added, “I’m going to the restroom. Be right back.” 

Yeji looked a little stunned, but she got up from her seat and let you leave the booth when you requested her to move. Locking yourself in one of the stalls, you clutched your stomach and curled in on yourself, closing your eyes. 

Your period cramps were especially painful this time. Maybe it was because of last night’s exertion, but your cycle was early too. Your stomach was in too many knots for you to even think about eating anything. 

The washroom’s door opened, and you heard soft footsteps trudging towards you. Knocking on the only occupied stall’s door, a female voice asked, “Is everything okay, Y/N?” 

“Yeah,” you croaked, feeling tears burning your eyes. “Everything’s fine, Jimin. I just have period cramps, that’s all.” 

“Oh.” There was silence for a moment. “I have painkillers. Do you want them?” 

Exhaling through your mouth, you wiped your moist cheeks and stepped out of the stall. “Sure.”

Jimin smiled at you reassuringly and handed you a wet wipe, looping her arm through yours. “Don’t worry. I got you.”

Your heart swelled with happiness and gratitude. You’d wanted to connect with her for so long, and it finally felt like you were getting somewhere this time. Maybe you were being overemotional due to your fluctuating hormones, but you wanted to pull her into a hug.

“Oh, also,” you started a little sheepishly, “I wanted to apologise in person about cancelling on you earlier today. I drank and partied more than I should have. I thought about sending Jeno to cover for me, but he pointed out that it would have been awkward for you to see him when you were expecting me.”

“Woah, wait!” she gaped and took a step away from you. The shock on her face surprised you for a moment, but the feeling didn’t last long. “You’re kidding me! You should have kept insisting, Y/N! A lunch date would have been the perfect way for us to get closer!”

“I don’t think he would have considered the lunch a date because he was just a stand-in for me,” you said awkwardly, and threw the used wipe in the dustbin. 

Jimin waved you away as you walked out of the restroom and back to your booth. “I mean, yeah, it wouldn’t have been an official date, but it would have given me the opportunity to ask him out on a real one.”

“Right.”  

You hated the way you sounded. You hated the way your stomach churned, and your mood dropped. You hated that someone was pursuing Jeno. You hated that you were being forced to play Cupid, all thanks to your strong refusal to admit your feelings and the friendship you wanted to build with the girl next to you. 

“Oh, my God!” Jimin exclaimed, too immersed in her own fantasies to have noticed the change in your tone and demeanour. “I can make up for the missed opportunity by sitting next to him right now! You wouldn’t mind, would you?” 

You did mind. The idea of her making a move on your best friend made you want to dig a hole and cry. God, you were being so pathetic. This was completely unlike you, and you despised the way you were acting. You had to pull yourself together immediately. 

Besides, it wasn’t like you were ever going to explore these newfound feelings you had for Jeno. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin your friendship. Forcing an encouraging smile on your face, you said, “Um, sure! That’s a really good idea.”

“Took you guys long enough,” Chenle commented once you returned. 

You raised an eyebrow. “Did you have any other places to be?” 

“I mean I was worried.” He rolled his eyes. “We ordered food while you were gone. You sure you don’t want anything, Y/N?” 

“Yep,” you said, popping the last letter. “Scoot over and make space for us.” 

Yeji got up again and stood to the side as Jimin, and you slid into the booth. “The two of you better not make me get up again. I’m not budging even if you need to take a big dump.” 

“Sorry,” you muttered, smiling at her sheepishly. Making yourself comfortable, you grabbed your glass of water and dipped a straw in it, idly sipping the liquid. 

Jeno’s gaze caught yours from behind Jimin’s back. He pointed at her with a frown on his face and mouthed, “Why is she sitting beside me?” 

You waved him away and turned your attention to the rest of your friends. “Please tell me you guys finally decided what we’re doing over the weekend.”

“We did,” Mark piped up. “We’re thinking of going to an amusement park and then a water park.”

Jimin frowned. “Won’t those places be crowded as well?” 

“We just need to accept that most destinations will be. Everyone’s on break, so it doesn’t matter where we go. There will be people everywhere.” 

You agreed with Minjeong. “Amusement park it is. Can we hit the bars at night?”

“It won’t be much of a trip if we don’t.” Ningning grinned. “You sure you want to go clubbing so soon though? You were completely wasted when Jeno called me to his room and made me change your clothes last night.”

Mark snickered. “Are you scared of changing your own girlfriend’s clothes, Jeno?”  

Silence. No one spoke. 

NingNing was staring at Mark incredulously, and Yeji seemed to be suffering through an extreme case of second-hand embarrassment. Chenle pretended to flip through the menu while Minjeong grabbed her phone and scrolled through the apps on her home screen in an attempt to look busy. 

Jimin whirled to face you so fast that you wondered how her neck hadn’t snapped. You couldn’t even dare to look at Jeno to see what reaction Mark’s words had evoked out of him. 

Laughing awkwardly, you asked, “Who said we’re dating?” 

“You’re kidding me, right?” Mark scoffed in disbelief. “You guys are so bad at keeping your relationship private. Everyone knows there’s something going on between the two of you.” 

“Is that true?” Jeno asked, but no one present at the table dared to meet his gaze. “Do all of you think there’s something going on between Y/N and me?” 

“I mean….” Chenle began, dragging the word out. “You both are very close. People who claim to be just friends don’t cross the boundaries you two step all over everyday. But we’ve never seen you kiss either, so we’re not sure if you’re dating secretly or…” 

“You guys are crazy,” you interrupted. “Stop speculating about our relationship. It’s weird.” Turning to face a very betrayed-looking Jimin, you enunciated, “Jeno and I are just friends. That’s all there is to us.”

“Yeah,” Jeno added, glancing at you. “Y/N and I will only ever be friends. There’s no way I would date her. I don’t find her attractive in a romantic way.” 

Feeling a knot form in your heart and anger bubble in the pit of your stomach, you snapped, “Same. Jeno’s not even my type. I wouldn’t get together with him if we were the only people left on Earth.” 

Your friends exchanged knowing glances, and poor Jimin, who was stuck sitting between Jeno and you, made an attempt to diffuse the tension. “Okay, guys. We get it.” 

“I’m not sure you do,” Jeno hissed, staring all your friends down. “I can see your damn faces. The only way you’re going to believe I’m not into Y/N is if I prove it to you by going out with someone else.” 

Minjeong began, “That’s not—” 

“No, he’s right,” you fumed. Under the table, your hand curled into a fist. “The only way you guys are going to get this stupid image of Jeno and me being together romantically is if we date other people.” 

“The two of you are overreacting!” Yeji exclaimed. “There’s no need to get so defensive! We were wrong for assuming, and Mark was an idiot for opening his fat mouth. I’m sure you both would have told us if there was something. We’re all sorry.” 

There was a chorus of agreement on the table. Everyone genuinely seemed to be apologetic—except Mark, who was glaring at Yeji and looked mad for being called an idiot. His eyes met yours, and a sheepish smile took form on his lips. 

You huffed a small laugh and shook your head, but your heart was still in knots. There was a certain hollowness in the pit of your stomach. You felt sick and anxious. 

Did Jeno really have to say all those hurtful things just to convince your friends about your platonic relationship? He didn’t need to sound so offended and make your mutual denial a competition. 

Sure, you were the one who had declared there would never be anything more than just friendship between Jeno and you, but he didn’t have to cross the line by saying you weren’t appealing to him. 

Besides, you’d said what you’d said for Jimin. You didn’t actually mean the words that left your mouth. Considering the emotions you’d been feeling recently, it would be a lie to claim you didn’t hope for a different sort of future with Jeno. 

It didn’t matter anyway. A romantic relationship between the two of you wasn’t practical. Your best friend had never so much as hinted at wanting something more. 

In a twisted way, you were glad he said those wounding things. You needed to be pulled back to reality.

“Hey, Jeno,” you heard Jimin say once the food arrived and everyone started eating. “I was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch and watch a movie sometime this week?” 

Bile rose to your throat. You hoped to God he would say no. You didn’t care if you were being a shitty person; you didn’t think you could take any more of this torture. 

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

Your eyes were trained on your glass of water, but you didn’t need to look at him to know he was surprised. As much as you hated eavesdroppers, you couldn’t stop yourself from wanting to learn where this conversation was going. 

“I am.” Jimin chuckled nervously.

Jeno didn’t reply immediately. The rest of your friends were engaged in their own discussions with the people sitting next to them. The table wasn’t silent by any means, but the only things you could hear were Jimin waiting for his answer with bated breath and the pounding of your heart in your chest. 

Then, “I would be honoured.”

Oh, you were most definitely going to throw up.

02. you fall for them

You hadn’t talked to Jeno ever since dinner with your group.

He hadn’t reached out to you, and you hadn’t tried to contact him either. You’d received a text from Jimin the next day about the specifics of her date with Jeno. They were supposed to meet up for lunch at a restaurant near your college campus and then go out to watch some sappy rom-com. 

He didn’t even care for rom-coms. You’d begged him to watch one with you countless times and he’d always turned you down. Part of you wondered if he knew Jimin was updating you about everything and he was purposely pulling this shit to get back at you. 

But you dismissed the notion immediately. No way were you so dense and self-centred. Maybe Jeno genuinely was into Jimin. 

Your phone began ringing, and you rolled over on your bed, blindly searching for it on your bedside table. God, you hated being woken up in the middle of your afternoon naps. It almost always guaranteed a headache. 

“Hello,” you said groggily, your throat raw and dry. “Who is this?” 

“Oh! Did I wake you up?” It was Jimin. She sounded upbeat. Your heart sank. “I’m so sorry!” 

Pushing yourself up, you rubbed the gunk out of your eyes and made your way to the window. The darkness made you bump into the corner of your study table, and you bit down on your lip to keep a yelp from escaping. Hobbling, you threw the curtains open and said, “No worries. My alarm was just about to ring. How was the date?” 

Laughter bubbled from the other end of the phone line. “It was cool! He is a really good guy. No wonder everyone is head over heels for him. He opened the door for me, didn’t let me spend any money even though I asked him out, was an excellent listener, called me pretty and beautiful, and drove me back home. Oh, God, and the eye-contact? It made him a hundred times sexier.” 

Seems legit, you thought to yourself. Jeno had always been a gentleman. The other girls you’d set him up with had pretty much given you the same feedback. Part of you felt relieved that this date hadn’t been any different than the others he’d been on. 

Except the rom-com part, of course. For the life of you, you couldn’t figure out why he would agree to something he hated. 

“Ah, I’m happy for you, Jimin!” you exclaimed, trying your best to mean what you said. Your own words tasted like ash on your tongue. “Are you guys going on a second date?” 

“I’m not sure, to be honest. He said he had a great time with me, but when I tried to ask him out again, he just hugged me. That took me by surprise, and I kinda just forgot.” She laughed. “I know good dates usually end with a kiss, but the fact that he didn’t go for one didn’t bother me.”

“Oh,” you mumbled. Sitting on the ledge of your window, you asked, “That sounds nice. Do you think you’ll try asking him again?”

The last thing you expected her to say was no. And the way she said it… she didn’t sound sad or upset or disappointed. She sounded like herself. She sounded the way one would when they talked about the weather. 

It confused you. Didn’t Jimin just say the date was really good? She sounded so happy and delighted. Why was she backing out now?

“I—I don’t get it,” you sputtered. “I thought you were into him. I thought you had a great time today. Why aren’t you going to ask him out again? Did something else happen—?”

“Calm down.” She chuckled. “Nothing happened.” 

“Huh? Then what’s the problem?”

“Nothing happened,” she repeated. “That’s the problem. I like Jeno. He’s attractive, funny and caring. He’s everything a girl would want in a guy. But there was no spark between us. I had a great time with him, but hanging out today didn’t feel any different than usual. It felt like I was hanging out with a good friend, not with a potential romantic interest.

“I was looking forward to exploring what I felt for him. Turns out, it was just physical attraction. It also turns out that he wasn’t into me at all. If it wasn’t obvious the night we all went out for dinner, it was glaringly clear today. I think part of the reason he said yes was that he didn’t want to hurt my feelings,” she added. “The other—major—part was that he’s in love with someone else, and I would rather die than be a homewrecker.”    

“Oh,” you said again. You didn’t know how to respond to that. What did she mean Jeno is in love with someone else? You didn’t dare focus on the last part of what she’d said. You didn’t dare hope that the person she was referring to was you. “Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out between the two of you. I’m sure you’ll find someone else easily. You’re a delight. Anyone would be lucky to date you.”

Jimin laughed again. “If you weren’t in love with Jeno too, Y/N, I would have thought you were into me.” 

It took a second for the words to register, but when they did, you felt your heart drop to your stomach. Forcing yourself to laugh, you croaked, “Whatever do you mean?” 

Saying that was a mistake. You should not have asked her to elaborate. She was going to make you come to terms with your feelings, and all the time and effort you’d spent denying and trying to get rid of them was going to go down the drain. 

Before she could speak, you made a static sound with your mouth. Then, you pretended that the connection was really bad. “Wha—hear—you. Try—back. Hell—?” 

You hung up before Jimin could call you out on your bullshit. A moment later, you saw a text pop up. 

[jimin]: that was soooo unsubtle  [y/n]: idk what ur talking ab!!!!!!! [jimin]: sure [jimin]: also a tiny heads up [jimin]: i told jeno to stop being a pussy and an asshole so he’s on his way 2 ur place now [y/n]: WHAT THE FUCK [jimin]: i’m going 2 pretend u said thank u [jimin]: don’t forget ab our dinner date tmrw [jimin]: have fun <3 

It was crazy how the bell rang almost immediately after you read the last text. You wondered if the timing was planned and that Jimin had told Jeno to wait till she gave him the go-ahead. 

You trudged to the front door and took a deep breath before opening it.

“Hey,” Jeno mumbled with a small smile. His hair was ruffled, as if he had run his hands through it several times. “Can I come in?” 

Biting the inside of your cheek, you nodded and moved out of the way to make space for him to step inside. He shoved his hands inside the pockets of his jeans and stood awkwardly. 

“You can sit,” you said, feeling the corners of your lips curl up in amusement. 

He sighed and wove his fingers through his strands again. “Not before I apologise for my behaviour. I was completely out of line that day,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I didn’t mean them.” 

“So you don’t think I’m unattractive?” 

You meant to tease him, but the next thing you knew, he was standing toe-to-toe with you, a desperate and guilt-ridden expression adorning his face. “God, no. You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I only said that because… because I knew it would hurt you.” 

Jeno was standing too close to you. You could barely breathe, much less think. But that didn’t stop you from asking, “Why would you want to hurt me?” 

He didn’t answer for what felt like an entire minute. He only kept staring at you, an internal battle raging inside him. Then, he let loose a breath of frustration and moved away. He refused to look at you, and your patience kept slipping with each moment that passed. 

Right when you thought it would snap, Jeno spoke up, “It hurt me when you said you and I would only ever be friends. I know how stupid it sounds, but it really did. For years, I’d been pining after you and hoping that maybe we could be something more in the future. I felt like an idiot when I realised wouldn’t ever view me in that light. 

“You got so defensive when Chenle said all our friends were suspicious of us being in a secret relationship. I couldn’t help but wonder if you felt disgusted at the idea of us being together. I got angry at myself for being naive and said those horrible things without even realising.” 

You didn’t know what to say. This was the second time you’d been rendered speechless in the past thirty minutes. It was one revelation after the other; you were having a hard time keeping up.

“You—you like me?” you stuttered. 

Jeno laughed humourlessly and looked you dead in the eyes. “I love you, Y/N.” 

“No.” 

“Yes.” 

You took a step back. “No, no, no, no—”

“Yes,” he pressed. “I’m sorry that I do. I know this changes everything, but I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I just—”

“Why would you go out with Jimin if you… if you love me?” you whispered. 

“Partly to see your reaction and partly in an attempt to get over you,” he admitted. “It didn’t work. I just—I just couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire time I was with her. I felt so guilty for saying such terrible things because I couldn’t deal with my emotions and come to terms with reality. I’m really sorry, Y/N.” 

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I’m sorry too.”

“You don’t have to apologise for not loving me back—”

“That’s not what I’m apologising for,” you interrupted and walked towards him until your abdomens were touching. “I’m apologising for not seeing it sooner. I’m apologising for encouraging Jimin to ask you out even though it killed me. I’m apologising for denying my feelings time and time again. I’m apologising for saying we would only ever be friends. The last thing I want is for our relationship to be platonic.” 

Jeno was barely breathing. “What are you saying?” 

“I’m saying I love you too, Lee Jeno,” you mumbled and stood on your toes, cupping cheeks with your palms. “I’m saying I want you to kiss me.” 

The words didn’t register immediately, but his lips were on yours the moment they did. 

Jeno’s arm snaked around your waist, and he pulled you closer. His hand grabbed your neck from behind, and he tilted his neck to the side, deepening the kiss. 

Your breath hitched in your throat. All you could feel was him. Your nerve-endings were short-circuiting, and pure adrenaline was coursing through your veins. You didn’t think you’d ever been as satisfied and euphoric as you were right now.

Jeno’s lips slotted with yours perfectly. You smiled to yourself upon realising he tasted like chocolates. Your best friend always ate a piece before any event he deemed to be very important. He claimed they gave him good luck. 

Letting go of one of his cheeks, you grabbed the round collar of his shirt and pressed your mouth harder against his. The nights you’d spent wondering how kissing him would feel and then hating yourself immediately for having such thoughts amounted to this. 

You didn’t want to hold back. 

But you had to ask him a question. It didn’t matter how stupid or ridiculous it was; you wanted to know the answer. So, you broke the kiss and inquired with your body still tangled with his, “Why the hell did you agree to watch a rom-com with Jimin?” 

“Really?” he asked exasperatedly. “You wanna talk about Jimin while we’re making out?” 

“I wanna know why you watched a rom-com with her when I’ve been begging you to watch one with me for so long,” you corrected. 

Jeno was silent for a moment, as if contemplating whether or not to tell you. You raised an eyebrow. “Well,” he started, blowing out a breath. “She told me you set her up with me, and it pissed me off even more. I knew she’d tell you all about our date, so I suggested we watch a rom-com. I knew you’d be riled up once you realised.” 

You snorted. Who knew? You weren’t actually being a self-centred narcissist when you suspected the same. “You’re an idiot. I was already riled up you were going out with her.” 

“Oh, yeah?” he teased. “Why’d you encourage her in the first place then?”

“Honestly, at first, I thought I could use you to further my friendship with her,” you admitted. Jeno scoffed in disbelief. “Yeah, I know. That was kinda shitty of me. But when I realised I was falling for you, I pushed her to pursue you in an attempt to convince myself I was not into you. That obviously backfired and did the very opposite. I was horribly miserable. I wanted to shoot myself everytime I heard her gush about you.” 

He smirked. “She gushed about me?” 

“Oh, get over yourself.” You shoved his shoulder playfully. “How’d you end up here after your date? Jimin texted me that you were coming.”

“Tough, but I’ll try.” He laughed. “She was probably able to tell how disinterested I was. After the date when I dropped her home and hugged her instead of kissing her, she just confronted me and asked if I was in love with you. Then told me to not bother answering because it was obvious. She said she didn’t want to get in the middle of us and threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t come here to make amends immediately.” 

You grinned. “Oh, the things I would have done to witness that scene.” 

“It was scary.” Jeno frowned. “She hit my shoulder really hard when I said I was in love with you and called me an idiot for going out with her. I think she was angry at herself too for being oblivious to our situationship. It was one of the weirdest dates I’ve ever been on.” 

“Jimin actually said she had a great time with you. She told me it was nice.”

“Really?” he asked, sounding surprised. 

You placed a chaste kiss on Jeno’s mouth. “Hmm, I wonder how good the best date you’ve ever been on would be then.” 

He chased your lips and kissed you back deeply. Caressing your cheekbone with stars twinkling in his eyes, Jeno said, “I guess we’ll know when I take you out.”

“No way, are you officially asking me out on a date, Lee Jeno?” you asked, and let out a fake gasp. 

“Damn right I am,” he declared. “I don’t want the amusement park trip with our friends to be our first day out as a couple. Do you wanna grab some food tomorrow afternoon? We can go to the trampoline park before that.” 

You smiled softly. “That sounds wonderful. But,” you added. “No more flirting with restaurant staff for free food, or I’ll go ballistic on you.” 

Jeno laughed, and you thought it was the most beuatiful sound you had ever heard. His chest rumbled with the force of it, his eyes creasing to look like small crescent moons. Slipping his hand into yours, he squeezed once. 

“Wouldn’t even dream of it.” 

note: THANK U FOR READING TILL THE END WHAT ??? loads of hugs and kisses :’)) also i know i said this before but posting after a rlly long time has lowkey made me anxious LOLL i think i could have done better with the fic esp the end bc it’s a little rushed. honestly speaking i am ready to move on to my next wip and i don’t wanna spend more time rewriting this one :(( i still love this piece though and i would definitely love to hear your thoughts amigos!! stay healthy and hydrated <33

thank you to mira for coming in clutch and helping me out with the plot when i was stuck + giving me her honest opinion! thank you to dori too for reading parts of this fic and giving me her opinion as well! i love you both :D

taglist: @notbeforelong​ @w3bqrl​ @rikiflowers​ @mochisnlix​ @allorysayshi​ @hiqhkey​ @angel-hyuckie​​ @j4kesworld​ @timetoten​ @vantxx95​ @sweetjaemss​​ @ahnneyong​ @jennaissantes @sunshine-skz​ @baekhyunstruly​ @ja4hyvn​ @ily-cuz-i​​ @kdyism​ @keemburley @n0hyuck @luvenshiti @donutswithjaminthemiddle @mosviqu @deobitiful @jeonnyread @pjofics @venusprada @matchahyuck @tbzussy @babyksworld @bockhyun @rbf-aceu @ablackbtsstan @tamakofever @naemakkuri @sadgirlroo @fariylixie0915 @pradagukkie @babyjenono @hibernatinghamster @jaemnationnn @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @carelessshootanonymous @nctzennikki09

[sxcret-garden]

Haechan ღ Painted with You [M]

ღ NCT Dream Haechan x fem!reader ღ feat.: short mentions of Renjun & Jeno ღ words: ~15k ღ genre: college AU, fwb to lovers, exes to lovers, fluff, slice of life, slow burn, pining, reader is a little dense, angst, humor, smut (switch!Haechan (but sub-leaning), oral (both receiving), hair pulling (idol receiving), unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, some begging, fingering, handjob, edging, orgasm denial (idol receiving), dry humping) ღ warnings: alcohol consumption, depiction of anxiety and reader feeling burnt out, mentions of unhealthy coping mechanisms

Desc.: You and Donghyuck were a couple back in high school, each having your own reasons for dating the other, but ultimately what you seeked out in each other was a distraction. Now that you meet again five years later, you both come to realize that the connection between you is still there, and eventually it’s crystal clear that the people you’ve become won’t be as easily separated as back then.

Author's note: aaaa I've had this in my drafts for sooo long avoiding to proofread it cause I wasn't happy with this at all... so now I finally came back to it to edit a bit and I think in the end it turned out quite okay^^ I hope you guys like it 🫶

There’s a hint of victory in the smile he gives you when you sit down next to him. Like he knew it would come to this - that you’d get bored of exchanging mundanities with the others and eventually find yourself drawn to him as your only escape. And it’s not like you didn’t know it too, it was clear from the moment you greeted each other with a hug that lasted shorter than it should have, and at the same time felt more familiar than you wanted it to. Yet his stance is inviting as he turns his whole body towards you in his seat, and the curiousity in his eyes is apparent.

“Long time no see,” he says, and it comes out softer than you would’ve expected it to. And he probably had the same thought, because he’s clearing his throat now, talking more firmly as he continues, “What have you been up to?” The last time you’ve seen each other was at your high school graduation ceremony, and since then it’s been almost five years. Which, as your former class president Renjun had decided, was about enough time to gather for a reunion. 

“Well, you know. This and that,” you try to avoid an answer, but of course he wouldn’t let you off the hook so easily. He knows you too well for that.

“Come on,” he snorts. “You can tell me. My time wasn’t spent in a purely productive manner either.”

“You probably spent about 3 years total on just playing video games…” you say with a grin playing on your lips, and you make him huff in disbelief, before his expression as well returns to a somewhat mischievous smile. 

“Now that was just tactless,” he says, straightening his back now. “I quit uni to go to work, and then started again with a different major. So now I’m a freshman!” He gives you a peace sign with his hand, sounding a lot prouder about the fact than he should’ve been.

“Feeling like 19 again?” you joke.

“Yes! Everyone automatically assumes I’m their age,” he explains. “But then I tell them I’m older, so I can make them work for me!” An exaggeratedly mischievous laugh follows, and you can only shake your head at his shenanigans.

“You haven’t changed at all,” you say, turning away and facing the bartender working just a few seats away. Originally you were all going out for dinner and nothing more, but when some girls suggested paying a nearby bar a visit, nobody could refuse in the face of getting some booze into their veins. Maybe you aren’t the only one who’s getting fucked over by life.

“One margarita,” you raise your hand and order, then you add, directed at Donghyuck, “Anything for you?”

“Just soju.” And so after placing both your orders, he adds, “Still can’t drink the adult drinks?”

“Excuse you, it has alcohol in it, so it is an adult drink. But if you’re asking if I still hate bitter stuff - yes I do.”

“I see… anyway, I’m not letting you get away without properly answering my question.”

“Too bad,” you respond. “Well…” And then you hesitate. You remember what it was like between the two of you in high school. When you were dating, each for your own reasons and certainly not because you had feelings for each other. But he still felt like a friend you could entrust your deepest feelings with - you knew each other like the back of your own hand. And yet, you find yourself hesitating in the face of five years passed by without a word from the other. It wasn’t like you had a fight or broke up on bad terms. It’s just that you both agreed it would be better not to see each other again, for reasons that seemed smart at the time. But now that you’re looking at the person he’s become and how much he seems to have grown up, you’re not sure anymore what those reasons even were.

“That bad?” Donghyuck interrupts your train of thought as he raises an eyebrow at you, and when you shake your head a short laugh escapes him.

“No, just… I’m also still in university,” you say. “I had to take a year off, so I’m trying to finish everything now. It’s not going great though.”

“Oh…” he looks away, directing his gaze at his hands that he’s hiding in the sleeves of his knitted sweater. “Are you managing though?” And that’s when you suddenly feel the past and the present connect - the way he immediately becomes serious when the situation calls for it, just like he has always done, makes you feel safe to keep speaking, and to keep your heart open, just for a bit.

“It’s… difficult,” you admit. The bartender sets down your ordered drinks, causing another pause, and you acknowledge it with a nod. “I’m trying not to do too much, but you know what’s it like living here.”

“Yeah,” he says. “That fucked you over before, didn’t it?”

“Yeah.” You fall silent after that, but not for long. Your conversation partner is Donghyuck after all, he wouldn’t let an awkward silence get too long.

“I have changed… by the way.” You raise your eyebrows at him as he speaks those words, letting the sip of your cocktail slowly trickle down your throat.

“Have you?” you ask. “Well, I mean… you’ve grown up.”

“Oh?” Suddenly seeing him straightening his back as he’s overjoyed, you can’t but giggle at the way his face is graced with a beaming smile now, but he glosses it over with a cough and a sip of his soju.

“But you sure are still the same guy,” you add, a nostalgic smile on your lips. 

“I guess,” he agrees, his features softening. Another pause falls upon you as you give your cocktail another taste, and this time it’s you who breaks the silence. Continuously chatting, you’re starting to feel a little tipsy from the sweet beverage after a while.

“I heard you got a girlfriend?” Donghyuck huffs, a wide smile meant to hide a bitter feeling appearing on his face.

“Yeah…”

“What about her?” you pry, sensing something off.

“Dumped me,” he simply says, then pointing across the room and at Jeno, one of your former classmates. “For that guy.”

“Ouch.”

“It’s whatever,” he shrugs it off, pouring himself another glass and offering the shot to you instead. “You sure you don’t want any?”

“I’d rather have my own drink, thanks.”

“Alright. Then cheers.” He downs the shot, grimacing at the taste, and when he sets the glass back down, he adds, “I don’t get why she went for him anyway. I bet it’s cause of all that muscle he got.” You can’t help but chuckle at his words, and you hit his upper arm playfully.

“You should hit the gym too and then see if you can get her back.”

“Very funny,” he replies dryly. “I’d rather die.”

“Understandable…” you reply, taking another sip of your drink as well. “So… you’re probably glad I finally came to you.” Donghyuck shoots you a questioning look and you explain yourself. “For a distraction. Like in the old days, you know?”

“Ahh…” He merely lets out a sound, before staring at his empty shot glass. 

“You’re not doing that anymore?” you assume.

“I guess.”

“Yeah… me too,” you say. “Or like… I stopped using people for it.”

You were dating back then, that’s true, but you wouldn’t go as far as to call yourselves high school sweethearts. You were both going through some stuff - for him it was a breakup with his first love, for you it was just life itself. When you were both at your lowest you started talking properly, and it soon became clear that you both wanted nothing more than to escape. And so you formed an alliance - as you used to call it, to everyone else you simply said that you were a couple now. You did behave like a couple, but just for the rush. The first time you held his hand you felt nothing, but when you made out secretly in the backyard of your school instead of attending class, that’s when you were overwhelmed with excitement. It was a stupid idea, you know that now too, and it only worked for so long. You spent the summer of your junior year together, meeting up almost every day and talking, and eventually distracting yourselves by making out secretly in your or his room. And then your final year came, and as you started seeing yourselves forced to take life a bit more seriously, you gradually met up less, until you both agreed that breaking up would be the best decision, so that you could focus on your studies and try to get into a good university. At least for your part, you still have mixed feelings when you remember that day. Because you know you made the adult decision, but at the same time you always end up thinking back to what fooling around with him felt like when you have a bad day now, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss it at least a bit. But you found other distractions - obsessing over tv series, finding just the perfect kind of music to drown out your feelings, and sometimes, whenever you could find a good excuse to drink with friends, alcohol. Though you’re being careful with the latter, just as you are now. One drink is usually enough to help you relax a bit and not pay all the things stressing you out so much thought.

“So when are we gonna start writing your redemption arc?” you ask nonchalantly, and he raises an eyebrow at you. “Your ex.”

“Stop that, for real,” he says, and the way he remains serious tells you your joke wasn’t well received.

“Sorry,” you utter.

“It’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah.” He’s playing with the glass in his hands, thumb rubbing along its edge as he keeps staring at it, and you take the last few sips of your drink, before you too start spinning the cocktail glass around between your fingers.

“Actually…” Donghyuck speaks up, now throwing you an entirely different look. “How about we get out of here. Maybe we could both use a distraction after all.”

“But-”

“Just for today.” You stare at him blankly, blinking once, twice, then a third time. This sounds like a bad idea, but at the same time you know you’re probably not gonna see each other for the next five years, just like it was for the past five. So what would be so bad about taking his offer now?

“Alright,” you say eventually, having made up your mind. “My place? It’s nearby.” His lips are parted slightly as he watches you jump out of your seat and put on your jacket. As the air around you changes, so does the look in his eyes, and a moment later he gets up too, his arm wrapped loosely around your waist while he holds the door open for you as he walks you out of the place.

“You really have changed,” you comment as you’re sneaking out, so none of the others would notice, and you giggle at your unnecessary secrecy once you’re past the entrance to the building.

“I can be a gentleman too!” he insists. “Of course a high school boy wouldn’t think of that.” You catch the pout that forms on his lips as he adds the last part, and you inevitably laugh, pointing at his face.

“But you’re also really still the same.”

You decide on going to your place, as it’s nearby, and you take a taxi there. Though you know this is only going to be a one time thing, neither of you seems to be in a rush. You take the elevator to the sixth floor, grinning at each other in silence the entire ride - maybe because this reminds the both of you a bit too much of the way you used to sneak off together all the time back in school. But once you arrive at your apartment, the atmosphere between you somehow changes, and as you’re walking over to your little kitchen to offer him a drink, he stops you, wrapping his arm around your waist. His touch is firm now, and he comes to a halt when he’s standing right in front of you, closer than a friend would, but leaving more distance between you than a lover would, and keeping his voice lowered, he asks,

“So… are we going to go right to the distraction part? Or do we need to pretend that we still need to warm up to each other first?” You find him staring at your lips, then returning his gaze to your eyes as he waits patiently for your response. And you don’t manage to come up with anything smart to say to him, so you simply take a step forward, wrapping your arms loosely around his shoulders, and you kiss him. His lips feel soft, just like you remember them, melting against yours perfectly. Yet there’s a firmness to his kiss that feels new to you. He used to always kiss you with eagerness, too much of it at times, impatient to feel more of you and for you to take control. It was no secret between you two that he actually quite enjoyed being put into his place by you, and now that there’s no such intentions apparent behind the way he moves his lips against yours, you find yourself having your breath taken away by the time you part. 

“You really did grow up well…” you mutter, barely an inch apart. “Did your ex teach you to kiss like that?” 

“Watch your mouth, Y/N,” he mutters darkly, another side of him that’s not exactly new to you, but one that you haven’t seen a lot in the past. And then he simply brushes his lips against yours again, softly and with care, quite in contrast to his sharp words. “I don’t wanna ruin this with thoughts about people I don’t know anymore.”

“Right…” you whisper, and before you can add a mumbled apology, he presses his lips to yours again. In between short kisses that inevitably leave you longing for more, he steers you closer to the wall behind you, until he has you trapped against it. Your shoulders meet the cold surface gently, and as you’re slowly getting to know this different side of him, you feel yourself being swept off your feet like he never knew how to. 

One of his hands resting on your waist, his fingertips creep towards your hip as you’re sharing an open mouthed kiss. A moan escapes you when he presses you up against the wall closer, and as he slowly parts from you, you can see the playful grin showing on his face now.

“You changed too,” he comments, and again he closes the distance between you without giving you a chance to question his words. Your hands finding their way up into his short hair, your fingers get tangled with the strands and you carefully tug at them as he deepens this kiss as well. He’s kissing you slowly as you let him have the lead naturally, and as you keep making out like this, you eventually find yourself burning up whole under his touch. He moves from your mouth to your neck eventually, and you lean your head back with a deep sigh as he begins scattering hot kisses all over the area. His hand that’s been propped up against the wall now finds the back of your nape to support you, and when he comes back up, he whispers a question,

“Do we keep going like we used to? Or do you wanna go all the way this time?” Drunk on his kisses, you pull him in for another one on the mouth, and as you part you mutter,

“We’re not kids anymore. Let’s go all the way.” You step aside and he lets you, and you reach for his hands to walk him over to your couch. Giving him a push, he lets himself fall back onto the sofa, leaning against the backrest as his curious gaze never leaves you. “Don’t need this anymore…” you mumble as you pull off your shirt and throw it somewhere onto the ground, and then you crawl into his lap to straddle him. His hands find purchase on your hips immediately as he looks up at you with warm eyes. You cup his face in your hands and you lean in, capturing his lips in a teasing kiss. Sinking your teeth into his bottom lip, you lure a breathy moan out of him, and wanting to hear more, you keep kissing him like that. Feathery touches that would for sure make him want more eventually become overshadowed by you rolling his hips on top of him, and with each time he lets you hear his voice you become more eager. It’s almost as if you’ve become the one who can’t wait, and he’s the one acting with patience.

“Never knew you could turn me on this much,” he mutters as you pull back, moving your hips at a leisurely pace. You can undoubtedly feel the bulge in his pants, and it’s certainly not leaving you unaffected.

“I grew up too, Hyuck,” you say, and then you bury your face in his neck. You kiss a trail up to the spot right below his ear as he leans back, and his hands wander up your sides and to your back when you start nibbling on his skin. 

“Mhm… you did, hm?” he answers. He finds the clasp of your bra and undoes it, and as the piece of clothing slides down your arms, you sit back so he can take it off you and fling it to the ground as well, somewhere in the general direction of where your shirt should be. He holds onto your sides as he takes in the sight in front of him, and as he draws closer to connect his lips to the skin on your chest, you can hear him saying,

“I know I never told you this as a boy but you look beautiful. I really regret not saying that to you.” He kisses his way up from the valley of your breasts to your throat and then back to your mouth, and just before he can connect his lips to yours, you whisper,

“It’s fine. I might’ve actually fallen for you if you had done that.” You laugh, and he does too, but his grin has a different meaning to it than yours.

“Don’t say that. We don’t want anything unfortunate to happen.” Connecting his lips to yours, he runs his tongue across them to ask for permission to enter, and without protest you let him deepen the kiss.

“Now you’re the one who said it,” you mumble a response in between kisses. “That’s a stupid thought anyway.”

“Right.” His fingertips dance south along your spine, and he eventually tugs at your pants as a sign that he wants those off as well. And so you peel yourself out of his hold, and while you’re discarding your jeans, he slips out of his shirt, and both clothing items land somewhere on the floor, soon to be forgotten. He makes you lie down flat on the couch as he crawls on top of you, and when he leaves a trail of small kisses up your torso, one of his hands finds its way to your hips, thumb hooking under the fabric of your panties.

“These too,” he says. “I want these off too.” You give him the okay to take them off as you comb your fingers through his hair once, and as soon as he’s gotten rid of the last piece of clothing on your body, he lowers himself to let his lips draw a map of your figure. Feeling his warm hands against your sides, you let out a sigh as you lean your head back and you close your eyes for a bit, just enjoying the way his kisses feel against your skin. Your hands fly to his hair again, and you find yourself massaging his scalp as he’s slowly going down on you. You let him lift your legs up onto his shoulders eventually, and when he buries his face between your legs, you can’t but let out a small moan. Tongue lapping at your folds, he hums at your taste, and then he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking on it gently. 

“That feel good?” he asks, slurring his words a bit, and you nod, tugging at the strands of hair between your fingers.

“Yeah. Keep going…” And so he does, alternating between teasing you with his lips and the tip of his tongue, and when he retrieves one hand to slide his fingers inside you, he comments,

“So wet for me, hm?”

“Y-yeah…” You can unmistakably feel the knot in your stomach being tied tighter with every single touch of his, and when he pumps his fingers in and out of you at a frustratingly slow pace, you find yourself begging for more. “Faster… p-please…” Donghyuck simply hums at your plea, before he obliges, curling his fingers inside you just a little faster. Gradually picking up on speed, the way he flicks his tongue against your clit along with the waves of pleasure that run through your body with each time he hits that sweet spot inside you make you slowly lose your mind, and you let him know just how good he’s making you feel by moaning in tune with his movements.

“Don’t stop… please don’t stop…” you mewl as you look down on yourself to find him already gazing back up at you, observing all of your reactions closely through half-lidded eyes. Just a few more repetitions and he’s throwing you over the edge, making you clench around his fingers as you throw your head back with a moan. “Fuck…” you mutter after he pulls out of you carefully, and he crawls back up to kiss you on the lips. You can taste yourself on his tongue as you share a lazy kiss, and once you part, you place your palms on his chest to push him off you.

“Your turn,” you simply state as you sit up and you make some space so you can comfortably kneel in front of the sofa. Getting the message, he hurriedly rids himself of his pants and boxers, and when he sits down in front of you, you don’t waste another second to wrap your fingers around his length. Giving him a few strokes, he’s fully hard in no time, and he watches as he leans back, enjoying the attention.

“You really have no patience anymore, huh,” he mutters, and you lick your lips before returning his gaze.

“Want me to torture you a bit? Make you beg for it? I can do that too.”

“I can beg if you want me to,” he retorts, the confident expression not being wiped off his face so easily, and you decide to keep that piece of information in mind. Just in case. But for now you’re not planning on making him wait - he’s right, you’ve become impatient, and you’re dying to know what kind of sounds you might lure out of him with his dick in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his tip a few times, watching him part his lips slightly as he lets you hear a deep sigh and a praise directed at you. “That’s right…” he mutters, and when you take his tip into your mouth fully, he lets you hear a moan so sweet, you swear you could cum just from the sound of it. Slowly bobbing your head up and down and having your hand that’s wrapped around his base follow those same movements, you enjoy the way he keeps moaning at your ministrations, until eventually you hum in approval and he whines from the pleasure.

“Fuck…” A curse escapes him when his tip hits the back of your throat and you gag a little, and you find yourself amused at how easy it is to make a guy whine as soon as you have him in a position like this. You go painfully slow, but he takes all of your teasing, and just when you start feeling bad for him because of how desperate his moans are, you speed up, making sure to take him in as far as you can. 

“Shit, Y/N…” he calls out to you. “Wait-”

“Hm?” You come up at his words, letting him slip out of your mouth.

“Wanna cum in your pussy…” The request makes you grin.

“So demanding…” you mutter, shooting him a challenging look.

“Please…” he tries to convince you, his pupils shaking as he’s awaiting your answer. But you’ve already made up your mind on how you’re going to proceed, and so you merely throw him a grin, before taking him back into your mouth. He throws his head back at you sucking him off at a faster pace now, probably in a mixture of frustration and pleasure, and as more curses fall from his lips along with your name, you know he’s close. You hum at his desperation and at the way he’s twitching in your hand while he’s bucking his hips up into your touch, and the next time you’re sinking all the way down on him, he cums with a moan. You try to swallow everything as he releases into your mouth, and when you let go of him you lick your lips to get the rest of it too, all while he watches with a hazy mind. And then you crawl into his lap, leaving a trail of kisses down the side of his throat, and eventually you say,

“Why not both?” You grab his face in one hand, gaze falling to his lips, and before he can say anything you kiss him to cut off his train of thought. “We have so much time tonight…” you mutter against his lips in between kisses, and he merely lets out small moans at your words. “We can do all the things we want. But let’s move somewhere more comfortable first.” And so you hurriedly walk over to your bedroom, Donghyuck pushing you against the mattress as soon as you’re there, and he doesn’t waste a single second to kiss you again. His lips nipping at your collarbones, you throw your arms around him, until finally you switch positions again, and you end up sitting on top of him, sinking down on his hard cock and biting your lower lip from how good it feels to be filled up like this.

“Fuck…” Now it’s you who’s cursing, fingers intertwined with his as you’re pinning his hands down to keep yourself stable. You know he’s drinking up the sight in front of him as you start slowly riding him, and the way he looks at you only turns you on more. 

“Shit, you look so pretty like this…” he mumbles, completely taken aback, and he sits up, freeing his hands to hold onto your sides instead. “Can I kiss you?”

“You’re asking that now?” you chuckle as you wrap your arms around his shoulders and he lets out a short laugh as he too realizes how ridiculous his question was.

“You’re right,” he mutters, leaning in. “Then I’ll just kiss you whenever I want.” A rush of heat courses through your body as he presses his lips against yours, and you roll your hips on top of him just a little faster.

“Please do,” you whisper, barely audible, before Donghyuck closes the distance between you again. You take your time making out, until both of you feel that you’re coming close again, and with one hand between your bodies, he starts rubbing your clit for you as you keep your pace.

“I’ll help you,” he whispers, unable to take his eyes off your face as you’re both completely drunk on the other’s touches.

“Mhm…” you moan, chasing your own high on top of him. You’re the first one who comes undone, digging your nails into his shoulders and burying your face in the crook of his neck as your high shakes you.

“Don’t stop, Y/N…” His words sound desperate, and you do your best to keep moving despite feeling the overstimulation building up. He has both his hands on your back now, and you let out a moan when you feel him dragging his nails down to your hips. “Shit…!” Spitting out a curse, he releases inside you, and finally you come to a halt. You stay in your positions for a while, waiting until your heartbeats have returned to a normal pace in each other’s arms, before you both lie down side by side, out of breath and grinning at the other.

“Didn’t think you’d get that good without me…” he mutters a comment.

“Hey!” you shout playfully. “What was I supposed to do if you just disappear on me like that?”

“You didn’t contact me either,” he tries to defend himself, but you both know it was him who stopped replying to your messages, even though your conversations were already scarce after graduating. For now you decide to say nothing - your mind filled with bliss from what your night out ended up turning into, you wouldn’t want to ruin the mood. Instead, he’s the one to break the silence.

“Wanna keep going?” he asks, scooting over closer to you and making you lie flat on your back, kissing a trail down your jawline and placing a hand on top of your stomach. “I wanna keep going,” he adds, more silently, as his fingers are already wandering south.

“Alright,” you mutter, your hand up in his hair again as he drags his fingers down your folds, dipping inside once and then coming back up to your clit to draw circles onto it. “If I walk weird tomorrow it’s your fault,” you add, laughing.

“You just made me wanna see that,” he jokes back, before pressing a kiss to the side of your throat and letting his fingers take care of you.

You keep in touch after that, texting each other throughout the day - even on those days where you barely find the time or energy to be social, you’ll at least send some memes back and forth - and meeting up whenever you both have some free time. It really feels like you’re continuing right where you had left off five years ago whenever you find yourselves unable to stop laughing because of your own bickering, or when you’re sitting side by side, having a more serious conversation and simply offering an open ear to the other. And at the same time something about the way you treat each other has undoubtedly changed. Of course you both grew up and you’re more mature than you were as high school students, but it seems there’s something else lingering in the air during every interaction you have, you just can’t really put your finger on what that is. 

You also keep meeting up to have sex. 

“So? What does that make us?” you ask a question into the dimly lit room, staring up at the ceiling. You’re both lying side by side on his bed, the sheets beneath you messed up as evidence of what you’ve been doing, and the chilly air in the room hitting your skin lets you cool down a bit.

“What? This?” Donghyuck asks, turning his head so he could look at you.

“Yeah,” you respond. “We’re not just friends if we’re constantly hooking up, are we?” Your words are accompanied by a chuckle, meant to tell him that you’re not being as serious as you sound. Or maybe you are, but mostly because your other friends keep asking where you’re sneaking off so frequently these days, and why you don’t seem to have the time to meet up with them anymore. And everytime you tell them you’re seeing a different friend, a part of you feels like you’re lying. Maybe that’s because they’ve stopped believing you too, and they keep urging you on to finally admit that you’re dating someone. But you’re not dating Donghyuck, right?

“Fuckbuddies?” He rolls onto his side, head supported by his hand, and he gives you a mischievous look.

“I guess,” you say, and after some consideration you add, “My friends keep asking who I’m meeting all the time. They think I have a boyfriend.”

“Well, what does it feel like when you kiss me?” You’re too stunned to speak for a moment, not expecting him to pose such a serious question.

“I mean… you’re a good kisser?” You grin at him, rolling onto your side as well so you could face him, and as you’re drawing near, he’s already reaching out to capture your chin between his thumb and index finger.

“That’s all?”

“I think so.” He lets his lips brush against yours, puffy and reddened from making out earlier, and you feel warmth wrap around you. You also feel safe with him, but that’s not exclusively related to him kissing you, so you don’t feel the need to mention it.

“Then I can’t be your boyfriend,” he mutters when you part.

“So friends… with benefits then?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, great,” you say, letting yourself fall onto your back, sinking into the mattress. “I can’t go around telling my friends that I’m seeing a fuckbuddy.” Your friend giggles beside you.

“I mean you don’t have to,” he says. “If it’s easier to explain, you can just pretend you’re seeing a boyfriend. I don’t mind.”

“I wonder…” you mumble, more to yourself than to him. “Then they’ll want to meet you, so… anyway.” You sit up, letting your feet dangle off the side of the bed. “I’m kinda hungry. You wanna order something?”

“I’ll make us some ramen. But we should shower first.” He sits up as well, and when you throw him a look over your shoulder, he cocks his head to the side, giving you another grin. “Together?” You laugh at his suggestion.

“You just want another round in there, don’t you? We’re never gonna get food in that case. I’m going alone.”

“Awww…” he whines in defeat and it makes you smile. You crawl closer to him, placing a peck onto his pouting lips.

“We kiss an awful lot for fuckbuddies, though,” you remark, and then you get up.

“I don’t think we’re kissing nearly enough…” he mumbles an answer. Amused by his words, you shoot him another glance, and then you trot off to the bathroom. 

“You free Friday night?” You glance at your phone screen when it lights up to quickly read Donghyuck’s message that you just received, and as you let out a sigh, you return your focus to the notebook in front of you. Skimming through your handwritten notes from the lecture you visited every wednesday afternoon a year ago still gives you anxiety - you’re not sure what more you’re supposed to study than this and the materials displayed on your laptop screen, and yet you don’t feel nearly prepared enough. You’re in your last semester - or at least you’re planning for this to be the last one - and you finally forced yourself to register for the exam you keep postponing because you horribly failed it the first time. The worst part is that it’s an oral exam, so no turning back once you’ve answered (or not answered) a question, even if a better response comes to you later on during the exam. And you hate that, because you know your brain tends to black out in stressful situations, and panicking while you’re supposed to recite your knowledge on a complicated topic doesn’t exactly help with that. You tear your eyes away from the materials eventually, taking another sip of your coffee and then picking up your phone off the small round dinner table in your flat.

“Sorry, I don’t have time then ㅠㅠ” You press send, and it doesn’t take long for your friend to reply.

“On the weekend? I’m busy Saturday but Sunday is fine!!”

“I don’t think I can make time until Tuesday. Sorry. Difficult exam coming up…”

“Then you should take a break!! I’m sure you’ve been studying all day” He’s not wrong with his assumption, but still you can’t bring yourself to set aside a few hours to fool around with him. You wouldn’t be able to relax and truly get the exam off your mind anyway, so you refuse again, even if it hurts you.

It’s been like this for a while now. The last time you’ve seen Donghyuck’s face was almost three weeks ago - after that university and sending job applications have taken up all your free time, and the few hours you had in between to rest you simply spent alone in the comfort of your own apartment, feeling too exhausted to even consider making plans with someone else. You know it might do you good to get out more for other things than going to uni, but at the same time you know you simply don’t have the energy right now - or you would’ve already scheduled a meetup with friends. It sucks, and you’re hoping for some space to breathe in between your schedules sometime soon, but at the same time you know you will be busy with uni until your graduation, and from then on you’ll be busy getting accustomed to work and proving yourself there. And the more you think about it, the more it starts to dawn on you that things will likely not change in the near future, and that somehow the life of a freshman and that of a senior don’t really match well at all.

But you brush those thoughts off for now. The last thing you need right now is a distraction, and so you get back to revising the contents for the exam.

And then comes Sunday afternoon, and you can feel the panic coursing through your veins as if you were about to suffocate from it any second now. You’ve always had some kind of exam anxiety, but it’s never been this bad, and you have absolutely no idea what to do with it except endure and hope that tomorrow will pass quickly. That’s when your phone buzzes to let you know you’ve gotten a message, and what you see when you open the chat room tips you over the edge. 

“This would’ve been more fun if we had watched it together~” - along with a picture of a laptop screen showing the credits of a movie, the interior of Donghyuck’s flat showing in the background. Your hands are shaking as you read his message, your head spinning because suddenly the stress and a feeling of helplessness overwhelms you. You end up doing the first thing that comes to mind - you call him. He picks up after the first ring.

“Jealous?” he teases you, and you stay quiet, your words suddenly stuck in your throat. Hearing only your ragged breathing, he sounds serious when he continues talking after a few moments of silence. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“What’s up? Wanna talk about it?”

“...the exam…”

“Ahh… you’re freaking out because of it?”

“Y-yeah…” Tears well up in your eyes, but you fight hard to keep them from falling. You know if you start crying now, chances are you won’t be able to talk properly in order to explain yourself to him. “I studied everything but I don’t feel like it’s enough… I have no idea how I’m supposed to pass tomorrow…” A sob escapes you at the end of it, and Donghyuck doesn’t hesitate to answer,

“I’ll come over. Just wait for me and hold tight, I’ll be there in 30.” 

And so that’s what he does. He doesn’t even give you the time to refuse when he hangs up, and sure enough roughly 30 minutes later he’s at your doorstep. Putting down his bags and taking off his shoes, the first thing he does is pull you into a tight hug.

“Come here,” whispered against the side of your head as he’s already holding you close, he hugs you until he can feel some of the tension leaving your body. When he finally lets you go, he picks up a paper bag he brought with him, holding it out to you and you take it from him. “I bought them on the way. I thought you could use some comfort food.” A glance inside the bag reveals a box decorated with the logo of your favourite bakery.

“Oh my god… thank you!” you exclaim, and you give him another hug as he lets out a bit of an awkward laugh.

“Ah, it’s fine, it’s nothing. Let’s have these while we go over your materials together, okay?”

“Huh?” You take a step back and raise your eyebrows at him.

“I came to help you study. So you can kick ass tomorrow!” Throwing a fist in the air in a victorious gesture, you cringe a bit at his childlike enthusiasm, but at the same time you feel thankful. Like you had been in free fall for the past days and finally someone came to catch you.

“Okay,” you accept his offer to help, and then you walk over to the small table in your living room where your laptop and your notes are scattered all over. Briefly organizing them, you skim through them together, and when you’ve reached the end of it, Donghyuck starts asking you random questions related to the topic that he can come up with. And with every question that you manage to answer, you feel just a little calmer, until you’ve gone through everything several times and it’s long dark outside.

“You’re gonna do well tomorrow,” the guy sitting next to you tells you, throwing his hand up in the air to do some stretching and you do the same, your body aching for a bit of movement after sitting down for hours. 

“You think so?”

“Of course!” He seems almost offended at you doubting yourself now. “Look at all these things you memorized perfectly! You’re gonna be just fine.”

“You’re right…” you mutter. “I do feel more confident now.” Yet, you let your head hang.

“But…?” he asks.

“But… I know by the time the exam starts tomorrow I’ll be so nervous, I might forget everything…” He reaches for your hands, taking them into his and giving both of them a gentle squeeze as he looks intently at your face.

“Then you think about how well you just did and how long we just spent repeating everything you studied. With this much preparation, there’s no way you would fail.” You know that realistically speaking, that’s not necessarily true, but you decide to believe him for now. Putting trust into his words puts you at ease, so that’s what you’re going to do.

“Alright,” you say. “It’ll be fine.”

“Of course it will,” he says, laughing as if he had not a single doubt about it.

“But…”

“Another but?”

“It’s almost 2am,” you say.

“Oh.”

“Wanna stay over? It takes you ages to get home if you have to take the night buses, right?”

“It’s fine, I’ll just take a taxi,” he replies, adding, “I don’t wanna stress you out more by staying over.”

“No, I-” All the times you felt yourself forced to turn down his invitations to meet up during the past few weeks are suddenly fresh in your memory, and eventually you manage to say, “I’d actually be thankful if you could stay over… you know… keep the bad thoughts away…”

“Sure…” he responds, and growing very quiet suddenly, he gets up to wrap you into another hug. “I’ll stay.”

You each take a shower and get ready for bed, him throwing on some of his clothes you had lying around at your place anyway, and when you get under the sheets together, it feels different than usually when you sleep in the same bed. Neither of you has any thoughts about having sex for a change, and instead he simply pulls you close to let you rest your head on top of his chest. You wrap an arm around his waist as you listen to his heartbeat, already feeling sleepiness overcome you as you snuggle up to him and you can feel him drawing mindless patterns onto your skin. You feel a sense of peace and safety washing over you when your eyelids simply fall shut, and as you fall asleep you almost don’t register the way he presses a soft kiss onto your forehead.

When you open the email telling you that you got a C on your exam, the first thing you can think of doing is letting Donghyuck know. 

“I passed!!!” You send him a message, and he surely doesn’t let you wait too long for an answer, along with a little sticker of a bear wearing a gold medal and giving a thumbs up.

“I told you so!!”

“It’s all thanks to you,” you write. “We need to go celebrate! Drinks on me.”

“Sounds good~”

With a broad smile on your face you put your phone into the pocket of your padded jacket. It has become cold outside, and there’s a thin layer of snow on the streets from last night. It’s the beginning of December, and before Christmas and new years you’re still going to be very busy. You have two job interviews coming up, have to prepare for your final exams and in between you should find some time to work on your dissertation. Still somehow you’re confident that you would easily be able to find a date where you can go out for your little celebration with your friend, but when you run into him on campus a week later, reality hits you right in the face.

“Y/N!” Donghyuck calls out to you as he spots you among a bunch of other students, and you fall behind to briefly talk to him.

“Oh, hi,” you say, not having seen him at all.

“You still didn’t reply to my messages,” he remarks and you immediately pull out your phone, indeed finding that you’ve left him on read two days ago.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you apologize as you remember that you clearly had the intent to respond to him, but then very obviously failed to do so. “Ah, if we can meet… today?” 

“Yesterday,” he corrects you. “But I guess that didn’t happen…” You can unmistakably see the disappointment in his expression, even though he’s doing his utmost to hide it, and you furrow your brows at the sight in front of you. 

“I’m sorry… I must’ve forgotten to reply while studying or something,” you say, unable to look him in the face. “You know, finals coming up.”

“Yeah… I’m studying a lot too these days,” he says, quickly adding, “But I guess as a senior it’s only natural that you’re even busier than I am.” His words sting for some reason, but it’s not like he’s wrong. Truth be told, you’ve been studying every free minute for the past few days, and in between you had a job interview that you don’t have the best of gut feelings about. You were so busy that you barely manage to have three meals a day, and yet you feel guilty about not being able to make time for him.

“I’m really sorry, Hyuck…” you say and he mutters an “it’s okay” as an answer. “But it’s not, is it?” To that he merely glances to the side, showing a sorry smile. And right then you have an idea. “You know what?” As you reach out to take his hand into yours, he raises his eyebrows at you, taken by surprise by your sudden action. “Let’s set a date right now. Then we don’t have to worry about me forgetting to reply or something.” 

“But… that won’t change the fact that you’re super busy…” he reasons, but you cut him off.

“It’s fine, I should be able to spare at least a few hours,” you say, opening your calendar app on your phone and scrolling through the days until exam week starts. “How about next Friday? Friday night sounds like a good time for a little study break and having a celebration instead.”

“S-sure.” You barely notice how he’s atypically dumbfounded at your enthusiasm, only focusing on the fact that you finally found a date to see each other again.

“Great! My place or yours?” you ask, already typing it into your phone.

“Mine… you wanna bring the drinks? Then I’ll take care of the food,” he offers, now taking his phone out as well, probably to put the meet up into his calendar as well.

“Sounds good,” you say in a rush. “Then I’ll see you Friday! Sorry, but… I really have to go now. I was gonna study some more at the library - you coming too?”

“Ah, no, I… have class in half an hour,” he explains briefly, and as you wave your goodbyes and you’re already running off, you fail to notice how his shoulders are suddenly slouched over and there’s a hint of disappointment in the way he looks at you as you’re walking away.

You sigh as you stare at the email you just received, and you immediately regret even checking your mailbox in the middle of studying in the first place. You got rejected for the last job you applied to - but at least you should be thankful that they let you know about it in the first place, right? After all, the last two companies didn’t even do that much after your interview with them. You gulp, trying to swallow all the disappointment bubbling up inside and attempting to shove it back down to where it came from, and then eventually you cross your arms on the table, resting your head on top and you close your eyes for a while. Another sigh escapes you, and you feel the weight of your responsibilities lay heavily on your shoulders. You’re trying not to beat yourself up over not having found a job for after your graduation yet - you know that everyone’s struggling with finding employment these days. But you really don’t want to take on a job you’re overqualified for, or one that’s not in your field of studies at all. You’ve already made too many compromises because of this, like being willing to move to another city for your job, or expanding on what type of positions you’re applying to. And still, nothing. It’s starting to get to you, even though you hate that it is, and even though you had told yourself to focus on your exams and your dissertation first and foremost. But all of these things stacked on top of each other have led you to lose your spark a bit, and there’s no denying you’re starting to feel burnt out. 

You tell yourself it’s fine, it will pass and eventually your life will get less stressful again. But for now you can feel that you’re at your limit, and you could really use some comfort.

“Right,” you mutter to yourself, lifting your head and looking at the date displayed in the bottom corner of your laptop screen. “Only a few hours to go. Then I can see him.” It’s Friday afternoon, and so you take a deep breath and bring yourself to study some more, before you can finally go to Donghyuck’s place, spending a full evening not having to think about any of this. Burying your head in your books and your lecture notes, you end up not realizing how fast the time is passing, and next time you check the clock, it’s already past 7. 

“Oh god…” you quickly pick up your phone, seeing that your friend already sent you a message asking where you are. You were scheduled to be at his place at 7, but somehow you completely lost track of time.

“I’m so sory I didn’t realize hwo late is is. Ill hurry!!” You type up that message as quickly as possible, ignoring the typos as you send it, and then you jump out of your seat to get ready. 

It’s almost 8pm when he opens the door for you and you apologize first thing as you hand him the tote bag with the alcohol you had promised to bring.

“Ah, but you thought of the important stuff,” he says with a forced smile, trying to brighten the mood a bit before he invites you in and you kick off your shoes and take off your coat to follow him inside.

“I’m really really sorry,” you say once again when you’ve made yourself comfortable on his couch. “I was studying and suddenly it was already this late…”

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck says as he carries over two glasses from the kitchen, handing you one of them. “We’re both busy, it’s not like I don’t understand.”

“But you’re upset.”

“A little,” he admits without looking you in the eyes, and when he continues talking, he does his best to sound cheerful. “But let’s not let that ruin the entire evening. We were both looking forward to today, right?”

“Yeah,” you say. “You won’t believe how glad I am to finally be here,” you add, and you feel the way your body relaxes just by being near him. You earn yourself a bright smile for that comment, before he lifts up the glass in his hand.

“I found the recipe for this a few days ago and wanted to try it,” he says. “I thought it’s your style.” You find a few ice cubes swimming in the beverage he handed you, along with a slice of lemon. The color is a dark shade of yellow at the bottom, and completely transparent at the top, and you nod at the presentation.

“It looks good,” you say. “I’ll try it. Cheers!” Each taking a sip, you agree that you like the taste, and the guy sitting next to you on his sofa explains,

“The recipe says you should put a bit of mint in as well, but… I didn’t have any.”

“I think it’s good the way it is… but, I’m starving. Let’s order food?”

“Me too,” he answers, getting out his phone. 

You order takeout, and while you eat and drink, you watch a movie that you’ve both been wanting to see for some time. You end up chatting here and there during less interesting scenes, and even though you enjoy the movie overall, you enjoy talking to him more. Eventually, as your eyelids begin to feel heavy, you rest your head on his shoulder and he lets you, and you don’t think anything of the peaceful smile he gives you upon feeling you so close to him. He puts one of his hands on top of your thigh, mindlessly rubbing his palm up and down, and by the end of the movie you can’t deny anymore that his actions are affecting you. Credits still rolling, you turn your head to face him, and wordlessly you kiss him, his lips melting against yours. You part for a mere second in which you put your hand behind his neck, and as you let yourself fall against the backrest of his sofa, he hovers above you, distance closing again. 

“Hyuck…” you breathe his name when you part the next time. “Need you…”

“Let’s go somewhere more comfortable,” he mutters into a sweet kiss, and then he gets up, taking you by your hands to pull you up along with him. As soon as you step into the bedroom you pull him in for another kiss, and you stumble backwards as he steers you towards his bed. He barely lets you lie down when he’s already on top of you, kissing you more deeply. Tongue running across your lip to ask for permission to enter, you allow it without hesitation, and you moan at the way he kisses you slowly but passionately. 

“I’ll take care of you,” he says after parting, “just lean back, okay?”

“Okay…” you answer and he lets his fingertips wander down your clothed body. Undoing the button of your jeans, he unhurriedly slips his hand inside them, and he watches you intently as his fingertips brush against your soaked panties, his voice sultry as he teases you, “So wet already… I didn’t know you were that desperate for me…” Before letting you answer, he leans in to place a lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth, starting to rub up and down between your folds slowly.

“I thought I’d go crazy without this…” you confess, arms wrapped around him and one hand up in his hair. You play with his locks as he teases you, and you whine, “More, please… don’t make me wait even longer…”

“What do you want, baby?” he asks, and then he buries his face in your neck, leaving kisses there as you throw your head back.

“Anything… even if it’s just your fingers, please just get me off…” you beg, only now realizing just how desperate you really are. Donghyuck gulps at your words, and he kisses his way up to your jaw and along it, until his lips are hovering right above yours.

“Tell me how badly you need me…” he mutters, pushing the fabric of your underwear aside so he could touch you directly. “I wanna hear everything.” As he starts rubbing small circles on your clit his lips go back to tending to your neck, kissing and nipping on the sensitive skin and making it that much more difficult for you to form coherent sentences. Still you can’t but do as told.

“So bad… need you so bad,” you mewl. “I tried to get off so many times, but nothing feels as good as when you touch me…” He hums at your words, granting you a finger dipping inside your pussy for just a moment in return and gasping at just how wet you are.

“I’ll make up for it,” he says. “I’ll make you cum so good.” You whimper, and then you instinctively buck your hips as his finger ghosts above your entrance. You hear him curse through gritted teeth at how needy you’re becoming, and blood rushes to your head from the thought alone that your state could turn him on so much as well.

“Please… just give me your fingers…” you whine, and to your surprise Donghyuck doesn’t drag out his teasing for longer. And so you cry out when he pushes inside, pumping in and out of you while watching your every reaction to his touch. “Fuck…” you hiss, already seeing your high approaching from far away. “I’m not gonna last long…”

“It’s okay,” he coos over you. “Wanna feel you cum around my fingers… can you take another one?”

“Y-yes… yes please…” you say mindlessly, only being able to think about how you want to feel him more. The stretch is bearable when he pushes into you with three fingers, and when he presses his thumb against your bundle of nerves, fingering you skillfully, you think you’re about to lose your mind. “Fuck… yes… don’t stop, please…” you mewl as he slowly picks up speed until he can see the bliss on your facial features. At this point all you can do is moan his name and dig your nails into his shoulder blades as you cling to him, bucking your hips in chase of your orgasm. 

“Shit, you’re so pretty…” you hear him mutter under his breath as he marvels at the sight in front of him, and next thing you know your whole body is shaken by the force of your high. You whine as he fucks you through it, right until your last aftershocks, and then you simply close your eyes as you lay back on his bed, feeling the exhaustion from the past weeks taking over you. Licking his fingers clean after pulling out of you, he then captures your chin between his thumb and index finger to make you look at him.

“What do you want me to do next?” he asks, his words sounding maybe even sweeter than usual to your ears, and you blame it on the way your mind is still in a haze from your orgasm. You think about it for a short while, and in the end you simply snuggle up to him closely.

“Let’s just… stay like this for a while,” you answer. “If that’s okay with you… I think I just need to be close to you.”

“Sure…” Donghyuck mutters, a bit taken aback by your response that must’ve come very unexpectedly to him. However, he doesn’t hesitate to put an arm around your frame, making you feel safe in a warm embrace. “That good?” he asks, and when you nod he presses his lips against your forehead, lingering there for a while.

You don’t move, not knowing how much time is passing while you’re merely listening to the other’s breathing and enjoying each other’s warmth. At that moment, you wish you could stay like this forever, but as you close your eyes and begin to relax, all your thoughts from the past weeks about your situation with him catch up to you one by one. Deep inside you know it can’t stay like this. And the longer you’re dragging this out, the more clearly you can see just how unfair this is on him. And so eventually, you don’t see any other plausible course of action to take next than to start talking.

“Thank you… for being by my side,” you mutter. Your hand having found its way into his, you’re playing with his fingers, eyes focused on that. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you lately… really.”

“Of course!” he responds, moving back a bit to get a proper look at your face. “You know I’d do anything for you.” You chuckle at his exaggerated words, letting go of his hand and ruffling his hair instead.

“I’m glad to have met you again,” you continue. “But… I’ve been thinking, you know? And I don’t think we can go on like this.”

“What…?”

“Just… I’m only gonna get busier, you know…?” The exact moment that he sits up, his comforting touch being torn away from you as he stares at you with disbelief on his face, you inevitably begin to feel like you fucked up. But you started this now, and there’s no way you could dig yourself back out of this mess, so you decide it’d be for the best to just see it through and be honest with him. “You know that I could never pay you back all that you’ve done for me… Hyuck.” You call out his name, but he barely even reacts with nothing but a blank expression in his eyes. You could’ve sworn you’ve never seen him this pale. “I’m gonna graduate, Hyuck. You’ll still be a student when I start working. Hell, I might have to move somewhere completely different if I don’t find a job in this city soon. And once I do find employment, I’m gonna have to work my ass off to prove my worth. I won’t have time to fool around like this anymore…”

“Fool… around…?” he repeats, speaking slowly, as his expression suddenly reflects a hundred complicated feelings. “Fool around… was all this is to you?”

“I mean… we’re friends too, obviously-”

“Y/N,” he cuts you off, and the way he says your name stabs you like a knife. “I have feelings too, you know. You can’t just…” A bitter laugh escapes him. “You’re going to tell me that it’s better if we didn’t see each other anymore, aren’t you?”

“No!” you immediately refute. “I mean-... look, we can stay friends, but I don’t know how much we’ll actually be able to see each other-”

“Friends?” he repeats in utter disbelief. “You don’t realize it, do you?”

“Realize what-”

“I’m in love with you, Y/N. I love you.”

“What…?” That is all you manage to reply to his confession. You really did never notice it, and so this comes as a shock to you. You realize that maybe him saying he’d do anything for you wasn’t an exaggeration at all, but you didn’t think he’d keep this fuckbuddy thing up if he had feelings for you all along. As if he had read your mind, he says,

“I’m sorry… I-... I didn’t want to tell you like this…” he speaks, his head hanging low now. “Not when I know you have a thousand other things to worry about, but… I just couldn’t… you said all these hurtful things. I don’t think you know how much hearing all that just now hurts.”

“I-,” you begin, but you don’t know what to say. You stare at him in utter disbelief for a moment, and then all of a sudden, from one second to the other, you feel like you’re going to suffocate if you don’t get out of here as fast as possible. “I… I can’t do this right now.” You get up off the bed and zip up your jeans. Your head is in chaos and your emotions are all jumbled up, but the one thing you can clearly feel is the anger burning in your veins. You truly are upset that he dropped such a bomb on you just before exams start and you need a clear head more than anything. “I’m going home… sorry,” you mutter under your breath, and without another look back at the guy who can’t do anything but watch as you’re slipping out of his grasp once again, you walk out of the door.

“Good luck for your exams” You let out a sigh as you finally delete the notification of the message Donghyuck sent you four days ago as you’re on your way to uni for your last exam. It’s Friday noon and you can’t wait for all of this to be over, the beginning of winter break feeling like you’re finally about to reach the safe shore after you’ve been almost drowning for weeks. 

You didn’t talk to Donghyuck for the entirety of the week - of course, or you would’ve long answered his message that he sent you on Monday. But you couldn’t bring yourself to, you didn’t even dare open the chatroom. Instead, you had focused on the necessities to get you through this week: sleep, eat, revise everything you studied, be on time for your exams, rinse and repeat. And now that it’s already the last day of this nightmare, you can’t wait to simply crash into bed once you arrive home tonight. 

It’s true that you’ve been feeling the relief after every single exam you finished, like some of the weight was taken off your shoulder with each time you walk out of a lecture hall. And yet you still feel the tiredness in your bones, but there’s something else tugging at your limbs and trying to make you stop running from one task to the other. However, you don’t let it. Too big is the fear of what you might find if you do stop and have a look, so you force all thoughts out of your mind that have nothing to do with your exams. And today as well your mind is empty when you take your seat and you’re handed the paper you’re supposed to fill out during the next one and a half hours, trusting your memory and your ability to recall the correct answers you have studied to each question.

As you’re leaving the lecture hall, finally done with the last one of your exams, somebody calls out to you. You turn your head to find one of your friends catching up with you, greeting you with a lively expression on her face.

“We’re finally done,” she says. “Now we only need to wait for our final paper to be graded and then we’re free!”

“Yeah,” you respond, trying to sound cheerful but inevitably failing. You’re just tired at this point, and no matter how relieved you are that exams are over, you can’t bring yourself to be happy.

“What’s with you?” your friend asks, concern in her voice. “Do you have to redo one of your exams?”

“No, no, it’s nothing,” you assure her, but she doesn’t buy it. 

“There’s something up with you. Did studying take that much out of you?”

“I guess,” you reply as you walk down the hallway with her, but then you hesitate. “Actually… nevermind.”

“Hm? Y/N, what is it? You’re being really weird.” She steps in front of you, making you halt on the spot, but eventually she keeps walking. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t pressure you to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“...it’s about a friend,” you admit finally.

“A friend?” she repeats. “Did something happen to them?”

“No, just… we just haven’t seen each other much lately, and… yeah.” You lower your head and she steps closer.

“That must be a very good friend if you miss them so much,” she states, matter of factly, and that’s when you feel a stab right to your heart, putting you in physical pain.

“Right…” you mutter. Without you realizing, Donghyuck’s presence has painted your ordinary days in a color of hope, wrapping you in a feeling of safety whenever you’re with him and making you become way too comfortable around him. And now that it’s come this far, you don’t know how you’re supposed to scratch off all that paint anymore. The thought alone makes you feel sick to the stomach - you shouldn’t have been such an idiot. You knew where this would lead, and that you wouldn’t have the time to fool around with him anymore once you’ve graduated. A feeling of deep regret overcomes you. 

You shouldn’t have said yes when he suggested leaving your class reunion together.

When you get home that day, you finally let yourself feel the full consequences of the past weeks filled with stress and you crash into your bed immediately. You haven’t planned to go to sleep this early, but at some point you simply find yourself drifting off, and the next time you open your eyes it’s Saturday morning. 

Your body aches as you force yourself to get out of bed, and when you open the curtains and the sunlight blinds your eyes, you curse existence itself. You trod over to the bathroom, wash your face, and after finding yourself unable to look at your reflection in the mirror, you return to your little kitchen to get yourself a simple breakfast. Finishing it while scrolling through social media on your phone, you then get yourself back to your bed, plummeting down on it and grabbing one of the books stacked atop your bedside table that you never found the time to finish while uni has kept you occupied. You open it on the page you had left off weeks ago, and after fighting your way through roughly two and a half paragraphs, you give up and you put the book back to where it’s been resting untouched until now. Your mind just won’t let you focus on this now, so you pick your heavy body up off the comfortable sheets and decide to take a shower first of all.

Things continue like this for the next few days. Even though exams are finally over, you just can’t find it in you to rest properly. Neither going out to have fun nor staying at home and having some quality alone time sound appealing to you, and soon enough you figure out why. No matter what you do or where you are, there’s this constant pain in your chest dragging you down, because time and time again you find yourself impulsively wanting to tell Donghyuck about your day, or even just sending him a funny meme you found on instagram. But you can’t. In a way this reminds you of five years ago, when you started spending less and less time together in high school and then eventually broke up with each other. You recall finding yourself in situations like this back when you started college as well, wanting to tell him about something fun or exciting that happened but feeling unable to, because it’s already been months since you had last talked. However, there’s one significant difference between then and now. 

Then, you merely found it a shame that you couldn’t freely text him or talk to him anymore. But you had moved on, finding new friends to talk to about those same things. Now, it’s like someone had torn a chunk of yourself out of your chest, and you’re slowly bleeding out as your nervous system prevents you from doing anything at all, signaling you that there must be a more urgent matter to take care of first. And only once you come to understand that this matter has to do with nothing other than Donghyuck himself, that’s when something finally connects in your mind. Your days have been painted with his colors, but maybe you’re not supposed to get rid of all that paint. Maybe you’re simply supposed to embrace it, because after all those years he’s become someone who’s just right for you. And maybe he’s become someone you can even come to love.

No, he’s already someone you love, you just never realized it.

Without thinking, you open your chatroom with Donghyuck, his last message still unanswered, and you start typing.

“I need to see you.”

“Now.”

You stand on his doorstep, taking a deep breath. Donghyuck had texted you back eventually, offering to meet at his place, so that’s where you are now, nervous to ring the doorbell. It was you who suddenly decided to come see him, so why are you so hesitant?

Another deep breath, exhaled shakily, and you reach out to press the bell button. Maybe 10 seconds later, the door opens, and when Donghyuck mutters a greeting with a distant expression in his eyes, it’s like a slap to your face.

“Come in, I guess,” he says as he’s already turning around, and you do as told. Taking your shoes off, you follow him a few steps inside, and shooting you a cold look, he asks, “What do you need to talk about?”

You’ve never seen him like this. Even when you broke up at the end of high school there wasn’t such a dark expression on his face. At that moment you have no idea how to shake off the guilt anymore, and so all you can do is let the words burst out of you.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for doing this to you.” He watches you with a look over his shoulder and you let your head hang, hoping he isn’t aware of the way tears are welling up in your eyes. “I can’t imagine how much I must’ve hurt you.” You add those words through gritted teeth, afraid of a sob suddenly making its way past your lips if you’re not careful.

“Then why are you the one crying?” he asks, staying surprisingly calm.

“B-because…” You gulp, and figuring that it’s too late anyway, you lift your chin to look at him and you use the sleeves of your shirt to wipe the tears from your eyes. “Because I’m an idiot. And I don’t want to see the person I love suffer.”

“Y/N…” he breathes your name before turning around fully to face you. He steps closer, but still keeps a good distance between you two. “You rejected me only a few days ago…”

“I know.” Your words are merely a whisper now. “Because I was scared… the future seems so overwhelming that I kept thinking I don’t have space for something like this. But… that doesn’t mean… that I didn’t still fall in love with you.” Silence follows, the only sound disrupting it being the soft sigh Donghyuck lets out before he finally closes the distance between you.

“Can I… hold you?” You nod at his question and you let him come closer, until you find yourself safely wrapped into his embrace, his warm breath tickling your neck as he buries his face there. 

“I’m so sorry for how I acted… you must really hate me now…” you mutter, and you’re almost startled when your friend lets out a laugh as he’s holding you.

“Yes, because I always go around hugging my enemies like this,” he says with a tired yet cheeky grin on his lips, and seeing that expression on his face suddenly washes all your worries away.

“Right…”

“It’s okay, Y/N… I know you had a rough time. I shouldn’t have confessed to you so suddenly either,” he apologizes, but you immediately shake your head, vigorously.

“No, don’t say sorry! I… I kind of get it… that it had to get out,” you say. “Especially after I said all those hurtful things to you.” He brings one hand up to your cheek, brushing his knuckles against the skin there and as his eyes scan your facial features you can unmistakably see how much he adores you. It makes your heart soar, and you part your lips as your gaze falls to his mouth.

“Y/N,” he calls out to you. “Does that mean… I can ask you to be my girlfriend now?”

“Sure…” you mumble, the urge to feel his lips on yours clouding your mind. “And when I’m your girlfriend… can you kiss me then?”

“Of course,” he chuckles, and he takes a tiny step away from you so he could take your hands into his, intertwining your fingers. “Y/N, would you be my girlfriend?” You can’t suppress the smile that creeps onto your face as you listen to his question, and you nod.

“Yes, please,” you answer. “Let me be your girlfriend.” And then he kisses you, slowly and carefully, and this time you aren’t confused on what those feelings he’s pouring into this kiss are. This time you know that it’s all the love he has for you, and you let it wrap you into a veil of warmth and comfort, feeling safe with him.

“I love you,” you mutter in between kisses, and eventually your hands find their way up into his hair. You kiss him back as you comb through it, and when you hear him whisper those same words back at you in between kisses, you once again can’t control the smile on your lips. You part to look at each other, finding an unmistakable desire for more behind his gaze, and so you begin moving as you connect your lips to his again.

"I'm sorry..." you mutter in between kisses, as you're steering him towards the bedroom, and he lets out a sigh against your lips in response. "I want to make it up to you."

"You don't have to," Donghyuck mutters with his hands on your waist, and you reach the bed, positioning yourselves so you could have him sit with one swift push against his chest. Crawling on top of him as he merely looks up at you, eyes half-lidded and lips slightly parted while he awaits your next kiss, he's already completely drunk on you.

"Then see it as me taking care of you?" you whisper, reconnecting your lips to his. Your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and him having his hands securely placed on your sides for stability, you merely keep kissing like that. Unhurriedly, because now you both know there's nothing rushing you anymore, nothing that would tear you apart.

"I love you." He mutters those words as you part, and when you open your eyes you can see him already nervously peeking up at you. You can't help but smile endearingly, cupping his cheek with one hand before you lean in for another sweet kiss to his reddened lips.

"I love you too, Hyuck," you say just when you pull back, and you let your fingertips wander down his upper body. Watching his face closely for his reactions, you pull his shirt off him, tossing it to the floor, and then you add, "Lie down for me, baby. I'll make you feel good." It comes as a surprise even to you to see him obey so quickly, and you let your palm glide down the bare skin on his chest and abdomen as he lies back. And then, when you reach for his wrists to pin them against the bed right next to his head, you can see a slight but still apparent blush creeping onto his cheeks, and he lets out a sound that's somewhere between a groan and a quiet whine.

"Fuck, you make me go crazy," you mutter as you press another kiss to his puffy lips, and when you sink your teeth into his bottom lip he moans into your mouth, the act alone sending heatwaves through your body. You instinctively roll your hips on top of his, earning yourself another small mewl from him, and then you trail kisses from the corner of his mouth to his throat. He leans his head back to give you better access, brows furrowed as he sighs in contentment. Forming his hands into fists, he digs his nails into his palms and whines some more as you continue grinding down on him, and the way you feel him grow underneath you turns you on as well. And then eventually you let go of his wrists to work your way down, peppering kisses all over his chest as he immediately throws his arms around your body, holding onto you tightly. 

"Hyuck..." you call out his name as you sit up briefly, and then you continue trailing nips and kisses down his body. "Let me hear you." He curses as your hand ghosts above his core, watching you with an expectant gaze in his eyes. You pull down the sweatpants he's wearing, and then his underwear, both just enough so his hard length is exposed. You wrap your fingers around him, and you kneel above him now, one of his thighs positioned between your legs, so you could get a good look at his face as you start to slowly jerk him off. 

"Look at me," you demand, and he does, the blush returning to his cheeks.

"Faster..." he mutters, barely audible, and you teasingly ask him to repeat himself. "Faster, please..." he begs through gritted teeth, and when you tighten your grip on his shaft just a little bit, he responds with a moan. "Can't take it..."

"Are you gonna let me hear more of those pretty moans?" you question, lips quivering in anticipation.

"Y-yes..." You don't know if your mind is tricking you or if his blush is growing just a bit darker as he answers, but either way you begin to move your hand faster, having him whining underneath you as he throws his head back. You watch with your lips slightly parted, and it's not like you've never seen him like this before, but there's just something about the way he gives himself up to pleasure when you have him in this kind of position that always gets you going. You move your hips in tune with the speed at which you get him off, grinding your clothed core down on his thigh, and he pushes his leg up just a bit to give you more friction.

"Shit..." you hiss, pleasure clouding your mind, and Donghyuck reaches down to wrap his fingers around your hand, guiding you into a faster pace. You collect the precum leaking his tip and use it as lube to glide down his length more smoothly, and as you can see on his face that he's about to lose himself to the sensation, you mutter a warning, "Don't cum yet."

"But-" he whines, and you take your hand away just before he can reach his high. "Y/N..." he desperately whines your name and you lean in to press a soothing kiss somewhere onto his chest, and then another one against his cheek.

"I wanna have you cumming inside me," you whisper, and when you sit back up you quickly rid yourself of all your clothes, in the end helping him out of his pants as well. You crawl on top of him, your hands placed on his shoulders for support, and you let out a curse as you roll your hips against him, his tip rubbing against your folds. And once again he whines, pressing his eyes tightly shut and digging his nails into your hips. 

"Just fuck me already..." he breathes, but you have other plans.

"Be good and I will, baby," you coo as you repeat your motion without letting him slip inside you. He begins to squirm underneath you, visibly fighting to suppress his orgasm, and you swear you could cum from the sight alone. "Fuck... you're so fucking hot like that, Hyuck..." you mutter through gritted teeth, his repeated whines sounding like music to your ears.

"C-can't... hold back..." And once again you stop the stimulation just as he's about to cum, and with a frustrated groan he throws his head back into the mattress, dragging his nails down your skin. You reach for his hands, and as you intertwine your fingers you pin them above his head, and you can't but coo over the desperate look he gives you, and the way his cheeks are reddening again.

"You gonna cum right when I take you in, aren't you?" you ask, smirking at him after pressing a kiss to his forehead. "So desperate for my pussy..." And he can't do anything but whine at your words, because you both know you're right, and him denying it would just make him look stupid. "Then cum for me, baby," you mutter against his lips as you seal them with yours, running your tongue along his mouth to deepen the kiss. You sink down on him, taking in his size with ease, and the second you start rolling your hips he releases inside you as he moans into your mouth. Heat rushes through your veins when you part and you sit up, letting go of his wrists and combing the fingers of one hand through his disheveled hair instead. 

"Didn't think you really would cum the instant you're inside me," you mock him, earning yourself another whine from him. "And I bet you're also gonna be hard again in no time if I keep this up," you mumble, rolling your hips on top of him slowly. "Such a sucker for when I'm in control, huh?"

"Yeah..." he breathes out, and you unexpectedly feel your heart swell at his answer. Usually he'd be fighting back by now, trying to battle you for dominance or at least being bratty, but today you really just have him at your mercy unconditionally.

"Is it because I finally said that I love you?" you conclude, as if he had heard your thought process.

"Huh?" You run your fingers through his hair again, and then you lean in for another deep kiss.

"Do you like it that much when I play with you like this, or are you being good because you're scared I'll leave if you're not perfect for me?" Donghyuck stares at you for a while as you sit back up, the blush on his cheeks fading, and when he finally reaches out to you to press your body against his for a tight embrace, he answers,

"No, I trust you. And I kinda like it when you sometimes use me." A storm of emotions washing over you, you bring some distance between you and him slowly, and after mustering his genuine expression for a while, you reach for his hands once again.

"Don't touch me," you order as you put them back into their place above his head. "And don't cum until I tell you to. If you wanna be my little toy you gotta be good, alright?"

"Alright." He gulps, taking you in as you're sitting on top of him, starting to ride him with one hand sliding down your body, fingertips reaching your core to give yourself some extra stimulation. Eyes dripping with honey, he keeps his hands in place, and the more you can feel him growing inside you, the more you can also see him struggling to keep his composure.

"Fuck, you're so sexy," he mutters eventually, and you hum a praise to signal him to keep going. "Feels so good... wanna be good for you..."

"That's right..." you mutter, your eyelids fluttering shut as you bounce on top of him, rubbing circles onto your clit. You position yourself so that everytime you sink down on him his tip would graze that perfect spot inside you, and along with listening to his words and the way his voice starts shaking from the pleasure has you seeing stars soon enough.

"U-use me, please... wanna feel you cum on my cock..." he sputters, and you moan at his pleas.

"Doing so well for me, baby... shit, nobody could ever make me feel as good as you..." He whines desperately as you keep your pace slow, in hopes of bringing him as close as possible to the edge as you're racing towards your own high. "Hyuck..." you mutter his name, your voice trembling. "Cum with me." Another moan falling from his lips and you feel yourself shaken by your orgasm, clenching around him as he spills inside you a second time. 

"Shit..." With a curse you collapse on top of him, finding him wrapping his arms around you in a comforting motion, and you add, "You were amazing." He nuzzles his face into the side of your head, lips brushing against your temple, and once you've caught your breath a bit you give him a proper kiss. "I'm sorry... for trying to push you away like th-" Donghyuck puts his index finger across your lips, shutting you up in the process, and with a soft smile he shakes his head.

"Stop apologizing," he says. "It's okay now. Let's focus on the future, and how we can build it together." His hand cupping your face and his thumb brushing against your cheek make your heart skip a beat, and you simply nod.

"You're right," you respond, and you lie back down on top of him, nestling into his chest. "If we just have each other, we can make it through anything."

[ronjunnie]

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[haechrry]

Who's bad? | L.DH

PAIRING: Lee Haechan x Fem/reader (mentions of other idols)

GENRES: Strangers to enemies to lovers, smut, fluff if you squint, a lil bit of angst, humor (i tried, bear w me)

WARNINGS: Alcohol consumption, explicit smut, language, sub/dom (more like switch*) dynamics, sexual tension, dubcon, unprotected sex, haechan monster cock agenda idc idc, creampie, fingering, oral (f/m receiving), nipple play, dirty talk, pet names, begging kink, praise and degradation kinks, impact play, breath play, overstimulation (f/m receiving, but, hyuck's receiving more lets pretend ur surprised), dacryphilia, squirting, haechan is mean n down bad at the same time. Minors do not interact.

SUMMARY: Lee Donghyuck saw you while you were on your working hours, with a pretty frown on your face, and decided to shoot his shot disturbing the peace of your mind. But one thing was sure: he found something to sink his teeth into, and you were on the same page as him.

WORDS COUNT: 11.7k

PLAYLIST/SONG: Bad - Michael Jackson

[author's note is at the end!]

"We're closed."

"No, you're not. I still have a few more minutes left."

A thud rang through the walls: exasperated, your forehead slammed into the shelf in front of you, where various cameras and lenses were placed immaculately.

It was ten minutes before the closing of the shop, you were mentally and physically tapped out, so dealing again with people wasn't part of your plans for the evening. You were on the verge of freaking out on a daily basis, but that day was more stressful than usual, 'cause there would be a big event in the city, hence you had to serve a crew who were in charge of filming the occasion. And of course, they were demanding.

"It's part of human decency not to show up at closing time." You weren't afraid to fight back, on the contrary it made you feel satisfied if it were a debate you could easily win.

"And I don't care. I just need a new battery for my camera, then I'll head out." The man did in fact not care, 'cause before you could blink he was right in front of your very eyes, in all his height, staring down at you. He must have figured out where your voice came from.

It wasn't his fault, he forgot to check the battery status of his camera as time passed, in consequence it burned right after he took the last picture he needed. But you didn't need to know that, you weren't his friend and it's not like he was that keen on explaining himself, especially to strangers. So he kept staring with his unflinching gaze waiting for you to finally move and get him what he wanted. In which he was, obviously, pleased; it was part of your job, you could not fail in your duties even if you didn't like the attitude of a customer.

And you didn't like at all the man's behavior, your left eye was trembling with anger.

Not saying a single word though, you retraced your steps, directed to the section where you could find the cameras' batteries, and picked some of them, not sure which camera he had.

You went back to the cashier's desk, expecting to find the guy already there, if he was a little bit perceptive. You found out that he was in fact, perceptive. If your best friends were there, you would've asked them if they could slap the living shit out of you, 'cause there was no way you actually thought so low of a stranger, you weren't usually like this.

"Just pick the one you need and then please, go away." Your voice sounded exasperated while watching him picking the right battery, so he said nothing, at least he seemed to have understood you were really tired and not able to deal with him. A small 'thank god' resonated in your head while you were putting his things in your shop's bag, and handed it to him, with a circumstantial smile plastered on your face.

"That's what I said earlier after all, Miss.Happiness. And nice bump over there, on your forehead." A wink before he could vanish after the sliding doors. You were wrong, and he was already gone.

Again, you slammed your head on the countertop.

"I'm telling you 'Ning, he walked in like he was the owner of my shop. Pretentious and everything, you know how I hate that shit." Out of breath, you kept walking down the street, right where the event would be held.

It was your day off of the week, this is why you were strolling around, with one of your best friends on a call, and also 'cause this was one of the roads that led faster to your house.

"But I swear to god herself, I was this close to pulling out his vertebrae one by one, and use them to play fucking hockey in my fucking backyard." The tone of your voice went from angry to calmer than two seconds before, 'cause maybe now, you were too distracted by your surroundings.

Several teams were working fast in front of your figure: there were those who were setting up the stage, others the street, which was decorated with various electric cables covering the asphalt, and the trees were decorated too with small lights and colored ribbons. Videocameras were placed on both sides of the stage and in front of it, for different perspectives. So many led spotlights for distinct purposes.

Everything about that deeply fascinated you.

"He was also pretty. Don't pry, this is why I refrained myself 'Ning." Your distraction made you lose the control of the tongue. And even your thoughts. 'Cause yes, he was indeed a good-looking man: the way his black hair fell on his forehead, right on top of his piercing dark eyes too, caught the air in your throat, and it made you to freeze on the spot without a single thought in that head of yours the day before.

Not to mention his deep voice and his tanned skin, the latter got you the urge to trace every inch of it with your own hands, if not lips. You didn't know yet, but if there was one thing you surely knew, it was that his eyes were exactly on you. In that exact moment.

The necessity to disappear in a split second far exceeded any other desire you ever had, but it didn't seem like it was too much to ask, because soon enough an electric cable got in your way, causing you to fall down and make out with the road. Maybe you should have done what was written on the ban sign, which was not to get too close.

You even saw him moving from his position to approach you.

"I'm fucked." Groaning in pain you quickly stood up, fixing your now dirty clothes. You heard Ningning saying a 'you wish, bestie', before you could close the call.

How outrageous.

"Was the asphalt telling you a secret or what?"

"Okay, first of all I saw money on the ground and I wanted to pick them up. Second of all, fuck you, you basketball hoop." A finger pointed at his chest.

It did feel good going for his throat now that you didn't have to be professional for your job.

"This explains for sure why you panicked when I noticed you. Did I, perhaps, make you flatter, pretty girl?" He smirked while crossing his long legs to lean against the barrier behind him.

You surprisingly took your sweet time to let your gaze embrace his full body in the meantime he was talking, understanding what he was actually saying, but you decided to briefly ignore him.

It wasn't your fault if he was dressing prettily, the black skinny jeans were literally hugging his long legs, enhanced by the suede boots he was wearing, and the white shirt was doing god's work. You shook your head and took a few steps away from where he was standing in all of his glory.

"Are you Ryan Reynolds?" You crossed your arms to your chest.

"Damn, I wish."

"Keanu Reeves?" You tried again looking him deadly in the eyes.

"Of course not?"

"Lee Dongwook?"

"...Are you slandering me?" He spread his arms exasperated.

"Then watch your mouth, nameless boy, I know the game you're on." You grimaced.

"Donghyuck. And believe it or not, you know nothing, doll."

He was no fun.

It was as if an iceberg suddenly had taken his place; his glacier tone remained in your mind for a while, and you kept following him with your eyes until he returned to his previous spot, now with his camera's lace around his nape.

You couldn't lie, he was sexy as fuck, but you truly couldn't understand what was that. You guys had just a little to a nonexistent conversation in these two days, and it was mostly insults and cold comebacks, so you didn't understand why he was trying to hit on you. It wasn't like you weren't attractive enough, indeed quite the opposite, but guys like that were known as troublemakers, and you'd rather be a snippy bitch than to get hurt for this kind of game.

Sighing, you decided it was time to go home and rest before it was too late, the next day would still be a working day for you.

You only hoped these three weeks would pass quickly, 'cause it was bright as the sun that you had to see Donghyuck every day.

Donghyuck. You tasted the name on your tongue. That motherfucker had a pretty name too.

Ningning were on your left, Yeri on your right, and Chenle and Renjun were walking in front of you. According to Chenle, staying on the same line as Ningning would lead them into a fight. You'd swear they'd get together sometime soon, they were just momentarily blind.

You and your friends were coming back from the shopping centre, now heading to your house for a sleepover, so walking down that street was necessary if y'all didn't want to add another ten minutes to your little trip.

"Please guys, act normal, we're getting close to where he works for the event." Days prior you ended up freaking out in your best friends group chat about Donghyuck, telling them how confusing and unnerving he was, 'cause in one moment he was flirty, and in the next one he was cold as a mint popsicle forgotten in the freezer for years. Let alone his look, they had to put up with you 'cause you couldn't stop drooling all over him. So they insisted on seeing him.

"You're talking like we can embarrass you, come one now, Y/n." Chenle gave you a side eye before he could turn around again as you watched him in disbelief.

"Renjun? Chenle?" A distant high-pitched voice called the names of your friends. Confused you all turned towards the direction of it, and you almost gasped audibly.

"Yo, Haechan!" The three of them exchanged a nod of acknowledge, followed by a handshake as if they were companions of a lifetime.

"Miss. Happiness. Do you still have the money you found on the floor last time?"

You mouthed him a 'fuck you, giraffe.' and he fucking smirked at you for the second time in these last days, then he greeted the girls as if it was nothing and returned to the boys for a chitchat.

"And now what the fuck he means by Haechan?!" You whispered in panic to Yeri and Ningning, while the both of them just laughed and shrugged you off. Of course they couldn't know.

A few moments later, they finished their gossiping and Renjun and Chenle returned to where you girls where standing waiting for them, luckily it was late afternoon so you didn't have to wait under the scorching sun in the middle of the summer.

Donghyuck seemed to get you were a close friend of his two best friends, so he actually got convinced and before he could get back to his work, he explained to y'all how he ended up working in such place: two of his other buddies, Johnny and Kun you recalled, were searching for some help for the event they were working for, and he happened to be good with the camera, so he accepted the offer also because he wouldn't mind working with his friends.

A stark contrast from what he seemed to be. You really didn't know anything about him, and you knew it was wrong to judge a book by its cover, so maybe you should given him a pass and had fun without overthinking things too much. In the end it shouldn't have been anything too serious.

"Don't tell me he's the Donghyuck you told us.. and what kind of money was he talking about?" Renjun just let his eyes come out of his sockets as he bumped into you with his shoulder. You groaned like you were in actual pain, not wanting to remember any part of that.

"I fell in front of his eyes a week and a half ago, and at that time I just came up with a lame excuse, saying I didn't fall but found money on the ground, instead." You whined while looking at your feet kicking a tiny pebble. "Don't ask me anything else, this is awkward enough." A loud laugh and various 'always the same' 'you're so clumsy' and a 'so gawky' emerged from the small circle of your friends, and they were on a thin ice 'cause you almost smacked every one of them.

"I can't believe he actually gave you his government name. He won't even let us call him like that."

"Renjun's right, i think he's hitting on you for real, Y/n."

"Yeah, okay, but I don't understand why he's doing this?" You gawked at the boys in front of you like they had two heads each and their body was united together, but again, no answer as they shrugged you off before entering your home and make themselves comfortable.

You guys were dispersed around your living room, now chugging on your beers while debating on which game to play or what movie to watch together.

"If Y/n wins at rock paper scissors, we'll watch again John Wick with her, if only one of the three of us wins instead, Y/n's gonna try to give Haechan a chance and be friend with him." You scoffed at Renjun. And to say you thought he was the only one on your side.

Un-fucking-believable.

Your competitive spirit kicked in, and at their signal you threw your choice. Scissors. You cheered on your victory swinging your fists in the air while your feet were stamping on the carpet. Yeri just threw paper, Ningning scissors too, and Renjun the same as Yeri.

One moment.

Your cheerings came to a stop, and Chenle gave you a sympathetic look.

"I lost, didn't I?" Emotionless voice, as you couldn't believe what you saw.

"Yeah."

"...We can still watch John Wick together, Y/n." Your wails were the only sound echoing in the room, as you sat down on your couch already searching for your favorite movie on your streaming platforms.

Would have been the fucking bare minimum, assholes.

"Chenle, I'll take Daegal out every day for a month." You prayed him with your eyes from your spot in the middle of the movie.

"Not happening."

"I'll do the chores at yours for the rest of the summer."

"Appealing."

"So it's a yes?" Your voice was exuding hope.

"No dice."

Goddamit.

Another week passed.

You were taking easy the whole Donghyuck-Haechan situation, and though it may seem strange, you were trying to be more loose around him. Starting by smiling and waving in his direction, or making small conversations when you had to go through the street where he was working, he noticed that, and seemed to admire it, since he always greeted you back, and from time to time he too took the initiative, which you treasured heartily.

One day he even unexpectedly came to your shop to give you coffee, making you at a loss for words. No one had ever done such a thing for you, and the coffee was just perfect to say the least.

"I just tried to guess what your favorite coffee was, so I went to the cafeteria down the road earlier, and bought you one." He would've said smiling at you. Not a smirk, or a lipped smile. A full smile. And his smile was so- it made the air inside your lungs dissipate, basically.

Aside from that, you actually spent willingly the rest of that morning with him in your store concentrate on the different cameras and their lenses. He was so endearing wrapped up with the things you loved too.

God, what the hell was that.

You soon found out that he was undoubtedly an amusing, witty and smart person. Quite the opposite of the façade he put on when you first met, the sleazy flirt was still there, but the cold surface was starting to melt down, if not it was already melted completely.

Donghyuck didn't know either why he wanted to mess up with you that bad, it was like his gut feeling told him to do so in the exact moment he saw you roaming with that cute frown on your delicate face around your store, so he went for it. In simple terms, that philosophy was his ride or die, he just did not expect you to act in the same way as him. The way you fought back that day made a strike in his mind, and jokes on you if you thought that Donghyuck would have let you go.

After he bought you the first coffee that day, he kept doing this everyday, and he made sure to buy a coffee for himself so he could drink it next to you in your store, and if it wasn't the coffee in the morning, it was a packed lunch in his break from work. The boy always asked you how was going your day and if you needed anything.

Eventually you ended up opening a little and telling him more about yourself, like how you as the owner of your store was the result of your passion for photography, except you couldn't use a camera, and he genuinely laughed at that revelation, finding you adorable and telling you in exchange how he made photography one of his hobby and sometime, his job too.

It went like this, it was as if you two had made a pact: you told him a fact about yourself, and he in return told you something of himself. His persistence was what you got convinced that giving in wouldn't hurt no one, and also 'cause his presence started not to be so bad as in the beginning.

Fucking Renjun.

And this is exactly how you got at the event that day. In the long run everything was ready for the occasion, so the day the show would go on the air had arrived, and you were close to being ready to go.

Yeri and Ningning came to your house early that afternoon, they said they would get ready with you, so there you were, sitting on the floor of your room while putting some make up on, mascara and lip tint were generally your pieces de resistance, so you opted for them for the night not wanting to exaggerate.

Ningning was roaming enthusiastically in your closet 'cause based on what she said your outfit should have made an impression on everyone, to whom you raised a brow.

"I'm definitely not wearing that." This time both of your brows was raised to the roof, scowling at her for good measure.

"'Ning it's a music show, not a pool party, that skimpy dress looks like a fucking bikini." Yeri deadpanned frowning and you almost launched at her and kissed her on her pretty full lips. Maybe you should've done it.

"Can we make out?" Your eyes were glowing like a light stick while looking at her, but soon your vision went black.

Was that a pillow? Your pillow bed?!

"No."

What was the meaning of your life if you couldn't even kiss your best friends? That was the most atrocious thing in the whole world.

Sooner or later the three of you got dressed in time, settling on for just summer dresses 'cause you all realized it was still hot even though it was nighttime, and the lightweight fabric in contact with the evening breeze, was doing wonders on your skin while walking down the streets, slowly reaching the set up venue.

You all stopped at a stand, fortunately on your way, to get a drink and you didn't know why, but you were in the mood for a piña colada, so you settle on it for the night. Yeri, Ningning and you, once arrived, perfectly found a spot where you would've had a good view of the stage but at the same time not being in the middle of the crowd, y'all didn't want to sweat.

There was a good atmosphere, for someone who had only seen the preview, there was to say that everybody had done a good job with the location, and as a matter of fact, a few photographers were around you to capture the foremost moments.

Hoping to go unnoticed by your two friends, you searched for Donghyuck knowing that he was there to work, and even just seeing him for an instant would have been enough for the rest of the festival.

Little did you know.

After a while you indeed spotted him, you supposed he was taking a rest in the staff's section and he too was sipping on his drink while chatting with his colleagues; as might as expected the piña colada didn't affected you that much, your blood alcohol level was nonexistent, but you still felt the sudden desire to go and greet him and let him know that you were there too.

"Girls, I'm just gonna say 'hi' to Donghyuck," you shouted over the music and the crowd loud noise, pointing a finger behind you in Donghyuck's direction, "I'll be back soon!"

They gave you a thumbs up and vanished in turn into the throng, leading to who knows where. You eventually updated the girls on your start of friendship with him, and they were strangely happy about that, Renjun and Chenle instead, limited themselves to wink and smirk at you, patting your shoulder in the end.

You reached the brunette guy over where he was standing with a cup of alcohol in his hand, and poked his left side with your index, definitely surprising him. Donghyuck always thought you were actually an introvert and didn't like these kind of places, but seeing you there with a drink in your hand and a silly smile on your face, took him off guard, but he greeted you back and returned your smile, kissing the back of your free hand too.

What a gentleman.

"How's going your night, Hyuck?" You grinned as you took a sip of your drink while looking at him up and down, he looked good that night, even with a slight layer of sweat on his forehead. You caught sight of the dampness also on his neck and on the portion of his tonic chest left uncovered by the unbuttoned shirt, but afraid that he could've realize what you were doing, you quickly looked away, and 'cause you did not want that view to distract you again too.

"Actually, I think it's going much better now, you know?" Donghyuck found endearing your grin and he smirked at you sizing you up, finding you extremely cute for his own sake. "Who are you trying to impress? Me, perhaps? 'Cause it's working, doll." He took advantage of the loud music to get close and hear you better, so close that he could count your upper and bottom lashes, and you could see his dark irises being illuminated by the spotlights, and able to feel his sweet breath gently hitting the lower part of your face. Your body tingled at the sensation, but suffice it to say, you didn't mind at all.

"I thought you got tired of flirting for nothing? Be easy on yourself, Hyuck." You scoffed and purposefully rolled your eyes at him, trying to hide the amused smile by taking a second sip of your piña colada.

You guessed you were starting to get again under his skin with your bitter remarks, but honestly? It was too fun. Plus, he didn't give weight to it 'cause in those three weeks he pretty much figured out that your character were calling for someone who would match it, someone with the same fiery energy, and he knew that people who didn't respond cheekily to a person like you, could be a big turn off. You were just like him. That's why he always had a ready answer for you. He wanted to let you know that he could be a good candidate for you, but you were- oh so hard to read.

He wouldn't give up on you though, if he was knew for something, apart from being the epitome of ENTP, it was surely for his determination.

You'd be his at the end of this circus.

"I may go easy on myself, but I for sure won't go easy on you, baby girl." He winked while pointing at you.

Was he recreating Rihanna's meme?

"Donghyuck." Your voice was stern while you were trying so bad to keep a straight face.

"Too cheesy and cringe?" He asked flatly, and you simply nodded.

"Noted." And he clicked his tongue.

When all was said and done, he searched for a couple of chairs for you and him; it was an event were the public could watch standing, so there weren't many chairs out there, but luckily he managed to find one there in the staff's wing and he offered it to you.

"You're working Hyuck, you're definitely more tired than me." Shaking your head you declined his offer, gesturing him towards the said chair, but he instead poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue closing his eyes for a brief moment and opening them again to look at you poker-faced.

If you didn't know any better, you were actually this close to suck him fucking dry, you cleared your throat to distract yourself, in panic you tried to compromise, "Okay! Okay what if- what if you sit, and I sit on your lap?" You looked at him tentatively, and he simply snickered, sitting down on the chair and manspreading.

Juicy thighs on full display.

Someone up there must have hated you to her content. At that sight, you started praying in every language you knew.

"C'mere, my sweetheart, I don't bite. Or I do bite, if you prefer." He patted his covered thighs with his slender hands waiting for you to sit on him, and gaining a little more of boldness, you confidently sat sideways on his lap. You grimaced snorting loudly at his comment, taking another sip of your piña colada, realizing you almost drank it all.

"Will you ever actually stop?" You weren't annoyed by his words, actually his way of sweet-talking to you was what you got all wound up.

You realized that the night was taking a turn from the moment he placed his free hand on the small of your back. You quivered under his dark gaze feeling even smaller than you already were near him, while goosebumps were starting to be visible on your arms caused by his slight touch.

Nonetheless, you were capable of feeling his warmth through the fabric of the dress. He placed his camera on a tiny counter for the occasion near him, where lenses cameras and lights were scattered around, and before he could do anything you heard him whispering seriously this time:

"Your own eyes are betraying you, Y/n. Stop making a fight, your talk is cheap." Thank god you were sitting on him, otherwise you wouldn't have heard his deep voice. He simply responded flatly before he could set one hand on your jaw, lightly squeezing your cheeks together so to make your lips pout, your heart and stomach dropped, making you breath heavily, not to mention the literal feeling of your face growing red at such a simple touch and a few words certainly said with no care.

How embarrassing of you.

And things got worse when you felt him leaning in, capturing your lips with his.

You physically felt your breath get stuck in your throat, fingers fidgeting not knowing where to put the hand without the drink in, deciding to just put it on the base of his neck, intertwining your fingers with his short but still long enough hair on his nape.

He deepened the kiss by angling his head to the side, brushing your bottom lip with his tongue only for him to part your mouth with the latter and settle within your soft lips, tasting in the meantime the flavor of each other's drink you were previously drinking. You pulled away reluctantly, you feared that kiss took you to the moon in the true sense of the word 'cause your lungs were begging for a breath of air, but you knew it was an exaggeration and it was your mind's fault for your body to react like that to him.

And did he say your name or was your brain tipping over the edge?

"How did you know-" You said out of breath biting your bottom lip, in hope to taste him again.

"Your best boy friends can't keep their mouths shut. Blame them, pretty." He said in amusement. One of his hand was now caressing your bare thigh, where the edge of the dress did not reach, as if you didn't have enough chills along your spine.

You promised yourself to have a tiny little talk with both of them later.

Now you were just pondering whether or not to kiss him taking the initiative, but before you could answer you found that your lips were on his again, kissing him fervently, with your other hand clutching his shirt, to get even closer to him than before.

You started to feel heady again and the sudden awareness of the ache between your legs started to kick in. The only way to find relief in that moment was to clench your thighs together, hoping to go unnoticed, but that idea went out of the imaginary window in your head as you felt him nudging at the back of your right thigh.

The hand previously on your skin, went up on your ass, kneading it shamelessly for everyone to see, and you almost leaked through your panties at the mere thought of doing the deed in public, but the need to have him laying under you on your comfy mattress got the best of you.

"Hyuck-" you breathed out on his lips, parting slightly from him, watching him with your pleading eyes, silently saying to do something.

"I know baby, I know. Show me the way." Hearing your breathy and delicate voice saying his name like that got him weak in the knees. He didn't think twice before caving in, so he literally followed you like a lost puppy while you were dragging him down the road to your house, trying to be as discreet as possible.

Technically, he was still on his working hours, but practically he didn't give a damn.

You let him in, and without any hesitation and zero effort you were pressed against your door with your legs wrapped around his waist.

What did he need that small waist for? For another people to grab it? Whore.

Well, in that case you were circling it with your legs, but you certainly wouldn't have wasted the opportunity to grab it with your hands thereafter.

You apparently weren't the only thing pressed, 'cause you felt him again against your core this time, and the pressure just felt amazing, but it wasn't enough.

You parted from his swollen-kissed lips to say that your bedroom was down the hallway to your left, he nodded in response and began to make his way through your house with you still anchored in his arms.

You didn't waste your time, and in a matter of fact your plump lips were leaving lazy kisses along the line of his sharp jaw, leading to his soft spot under his right ear, and ending your journey on his collarbones, gently biting his sun kissed skin every now and then, feeling his breath cut off in his throat and gasping under his nonexistent breath when your teeth were sinking into his flash, making you grinning devilishly. Pointless to say you were determined to hear more sound like those coming from him.

He kicked open your room's door with one of his foot, not caring to close it shut 'cause he looked like he understood you lived alone, and no one could have unintentionally disturbed or interrupted you.

Surely a gift sent from god herself.

Donghyuck threw you without grace on your bed, making himself at home between your now parted legs, the consequence of being sprawled on your sheets was that your summer dress collected around the curves of your hips and the straps of your dress were no longer on your shoulders, but hanged loosely on your arms, leaving you in a vulnerable state right in front of his eyes, not being totally covered. It wasn't uncomfortable though, to tell the truth you even spread more your legs wanting him to be comfortable, wanting his eyes fixated on you, and it was not long in coming.

He felt his cock being restricted in his jeans, and by that you were able to see its outline and you could witness it was massive, to say the least. You gulped down the saliva that had formed on the back of your throat, asking yourself if it was even going to fit, deciding that the pain would have been worth it.

You curled your index in his pearl necklace bringing him down with you so you could reconnect both of your lips and make your tongues dance together, all while his hands were working frenetically trying to take your dress off.

He completed his quest the moment the latter went over your head, tossing it somewhere on the ground, making him stop above you and looking down at you with stars in his eyes, as if he had never seen anything more beautiful than you under him. 'Cause yes, he did think multiple times about how you could have looked without your clothes, he couldn't lie, but he would never have imagined such a view.

"Good fucking lord, you're so beautiful even like this." He stayed still staring at you for a little more, just to take in your appearance and memorize you in his mind, he then descended on you so he could have kissed languidly your neck and alternately leaving little hickeys behind his wet trail until he reached the valley of your breast, blueish and reddish spots rose on your skin making a little work of art to only you and the man all over you to see.

"I bet you'll be even prettier with my head between your legs and your pussy stuffed with my fingers." And the fact that you weren't wearing a bra? Fucking out of your mind, 'cause that sent Donghyuck head over heels for you. You were so wild, just like him.

And his cock were throbbing in his now tight jeans, but we don't talk about it now, he was already in pain enough. You squeaked at his implication, your body already trembling in anticipation. Still too intoxicated with only his close presence you didn't know if you were sober enough to receive more, but whether you were ready or not that was your fate for the night.

Not that you complained.

He kept faith to his words and before you could register what he said in your mind, his face were at the same level as your pelvis. The tip of his nose traced the edge of your panties, going painfully slow down to your slit, pressing for a moment his button nose on your clit under the light fabric, making you stutter his name under your breath.

You felt him grinning against the most sensitive part of your body, and not a second later he flattened his tongue on your lower lips, going slowly down towards your covered entrance, dipping in slightly for him to feel your arousal leaking through your panties. You were heavily breathing at that point, waiting anxiously for his next move, which immediately arrived.

Donghyuck wasn't exactly a patient person, so the said next move was him removing your panties with his teeth, slowly dragging them all down your legs and throwing them away on the floor to keep company to your dress that were laying there. His large hands found their place on your parted thighs now with your centre exposed, and he fucking whined at the sight of your glistening folds.

"Do something, Hyuck, please." You tried to wiggle under his firm touch, but he squeezed the flash of your thighs, making you whimpering loudly. His lips formed an 'O' when he caught your hole clenching around nothing while you whined.

"So, here I have a fucking greedy pain slut." He mumbled, and with that he dipped his head between your shaking legs. "Dear lord, you're so pretty even down here, how's that possible." You know he was talking to himself, but you couldn't stop the heat rising up to your face, and just wailed out lowly, throwing your head back on your pillows. You didn't complain, you were eager to feel him on you, and when he actually attached his lips to your core, you completely lost your mind. He trailed roughly in the middle of your puffy lips with his wet muscle, going forth to the entrance and back to your neglected clit, sucking firstly and hard on the little ball of nerves, and then on both of your lips.

"You taste so sweet, so, so sweet." At that your hands flew to his hair, gripping onto them for dear life while your moans reverberated off the walls, you heard him whimpering again, the vibrations clashing against your centre made you gasp and brought him even closer while your thighs clamped around his head, putting him in a headlock position. You'd swear you even saw him fucking grinding on the covered mattress at your action.

He was eating your pussy like a starved man.

"It seems that-" a gasp escaped you, making you arching your back off the bed, interrupting your speech, "I'm not the only pain slut here-" your mouth fell agape feeling Donghyuck easing his tongue past your entrance. You were starting to get addicted to his mouth, at that point. He stopped at your sensitive bud, lapping at it and sucking it in his mouth, in a repeated move, putting in the middle languid kisses that went straight to your core, and as if it weren't enough he pushed two of his fingers into your drenched pussy, his knuckles almost disappeared when he went all the way up to your g-spot.

Always straight to the point.

"You saw nothing, just concentrate on my mouth and my fingers, babe." You thanked god you didn't have roommates, 'cause his name moaned, whimpered, and whined, was the only thing you could hear all over your house.

The tension in your stomach started to build nearly immediately, as you were writhing under him, he was just good at that shit and you guys were only at the beginning of the foreplay.

"Haechan-" just slipped out of your mouth, and a harsh slap came in contact with your bare ass, leaving the red and the 3D print of his hand on it.

"Call me like that again, and I'll stop." And fuck, you did not want that to happen at all, damn you were already thinking about the second round-

"Shit- no, I swear I'm sorry, you feel too good, so good- Please Hyuck, I'm sorry just don't stop-" you were embarrassingly babbling, on the verge of literally sobbing because of the near first exploding climax of the night. You knew he was showing you pity as he returned to his actions, not before giving you a warning look, and you bit your lip while looking at him with your already fucked out gaze, hands still gripping hard his hair.

Independent woman my ass.

"Cmon Y/n, don't run from me, I can feel you squeezing my fingers, I know you wanna cum," He kept pushing in and out his slender fingers at a quick peace, making you gasping shakily whenever he curled his fingers upwards your spongy walls. "You can do it pretty girl. Go ahead, make a mess on my fingers." That was your last straw.

You cried out while squirming and twisting when the knot in your stomach snapped. And as you were calming down it felt like you were combusting on your spot, laying lifeless on your sheets trying to give your lungs the oxygen they lost along the way. If he gave you this mind blowing orgasm as your first, you didn't want to imagine how the upcoming ones would be. You were thrilled.

Donghyuck's next target was clearly your cleavage, he didn't say it out loud, but his eyes spoke for him, you could see the eagerness they were holding by simply looking at your chest covered by goosebumps while you were still breathing deeply through your nostrils. In his eyes you were mouth-watering just lying on your blankets in that already fucked out state.

But he had to wait because much to his surprise you were pretty fast at recovering from foreplay, and in just a couple of minutes you were face-to-face to him, in the same position as him on your knees, now wanting to have your fun with him. After all, he as well, deserved his part.

"I think we're playing an unfair game here, don't you think, Hyuck?" Dismissively you pointed the nail of your index finger on his chest, letting it slide down his torso, pressing gently against his shirt.

"What do you mean by 'unfair'?" Voice slightly strained as he was busy following your lips with his gaze.

"I mean that your clothes are still on, but mines are on the ground, don't you find it unequal?" You pouted while looking at him with your doe eyes, trying to be as persuasive as possible.

"Yes, I think you're more than right, actually." His words couldn't come out of his mouth faster than that, and you snickered in amusement at him. He were already so vulnerable, for fuck's sake.

"So, if I do this," you proceeded to unbutton the rest of his shirt, sliding it down past his shoulders and his wrists, "you don't mind, mh?" Your voice was sugary.

"Do as you please, I'm down with everything," he whispered on your mouth while you still were at his height on the bed, "just, don't tease."

You chuckled at him while you hooped a finger into his waistband bringing him closer, clashing your noses, "You better stick to your words. If you're fine with whatever, just sit back and enjoy your time."

What were you, the voice ad who tells you to enjoy your time watching the movie at the cinema? What the fuck Y/n.

You shrugged off your own ridiculous thoughts, and done that, you placed both of your hands on his firm pecs, not too muscular, not too scrawny, just to die for. Of course, for your standards. Hands started to drop down his torso, brushing and flicking on his nipples in the way, making him hiss, and he even tried to capture your wrists in his hands to stop you, but you gave him in return a dour look, so he stopped mid-air quickly mumbling an 'I'm sorry', and you pecked his lips as a reward.

You kept on pecking him, but each time you changed directions of your lips, moving slowly to the corner of his mouth, to his jaw, along the side of his neck, to his bony collarbones, and then down his abs, peppering his soft flesh with small kisses, and with kitten-licks in between. This, while your hands were still caressing him, coming down with you as you moved.

You eventually and finally reached his pants, not halting your movements and simply taking off his belt, absentmindedly placing it there on the bed, while his pants were quick to reach the pile of your clothes on the floor. You set down on your elbows, now facing his cock still restrained, and that's where you heard Donghyuck's breath getting heavy, but you plainly smirked up at him aware of your next moves.

You actually didn't waste your time and pulled down his boxers in one move, which took him off guard, making you chuckling. His member slapped proudly against his lower stomach, it reached his navel and you almost salivated at the only sight.

"Oh god, Hyuck you're so big-" you muttered under your breath and with that you simply wrapped your hands at its base, wanting first to slowly stroke him, tasting the waters. "I'm gonna deep-throat you-" you said without even thinking about the fact that he was literally so big that he would have split your throat in a half, probably because, in fact, you didn't care at all about that particular.

He choked on his saliva, placing one hand in your hair trying, but not trying at the same time, to stop you, "What- wait, I mean yes- oh my god, just-"

You shushed him by licking his leaking tip, going down the length of his shaft and reaching his balls, then you went back at the tip, and wrapping your lips around it your head started to bob up and down with a slow steady rhythm.

You heard him cursing in a soft tone, while his grip on your hair thighed, and you hummed contentedly at the slight pain on your scalp. At your hum you felt him twitching in your mouth, so you hollowed your cheeks around him and went all the way down his length, feeling him in the very back of your throat. Your gag reflexes were irritating you, but you fought them back and as a result tears started to form in your waterlines, feeling them at the corner of your eyes and down your cheeks afterwards.

He cooed at you, snickering proudly while your hands were squeezing his thighs for support, "Am I, perhaps, too big for my baby? Should I pull out?" You shook fast your head in a 'no' motion, looking up at him with your wet eyes, wanting to demonstrate to him that you could do it, that you wanted to do it at every cost.

And so he brought you closer with his hands on the back of your head, your nose was now touching his happy trail, and with his massive cock now buried in your throat, even if you were trying so hard to breath through your nose, you were never been happier than that.

"Fuck- you're so warm, stay still for a moment." he grunted while exposing his veiny neck, you started to feel like you were about to faint due to lack of air, but nonetheless, you felt again the stickiness between your legs.

He eventually released you, and you were able to breathe again, briefly gasping for oxygen waiting for your lungs to be full again, and as a matter of fact you were back to sucking him dry.

You hollowed again your cheeks around his shaft while your tongue were flat on the underside of his length, this time stopping bobbing your head where you were the most comfortable, repeating your motions until you saw his stomach contracting and him almost curling on you, while gasping for air, and you understood he was close to his climax. So you brought your hand to his balls, massaging firstly them together and then separately, and apparently that was his last straw, 'cause before he could warn you he was already releasing himself down your throat.

You peered at him through your wet lashes and noted he had his eyes screwed shut and his mouth wide opened, his cock still throbbing in your mouth, so you waited for him to come down on heart before you could pull off of him with a loud and wet pop, swallowing everything he gave you.

"I actually hate you." He said still breathing heavily, fixing you hair in the meantime.

"No, you actually don't." You grinned ear to ear and went up at his height again, throwing your arms around his neck while licking your lips, tasting again his release.

"How was it?" He asked you smugly.

"How was it what-"

"My cum."

"Donghyuck!" You yelled exasperate, putting your face in the crook of his neck.

"I'm kidding!" He kissed tenderly your exposed temple.

Your cheeks were burning at his action, but you were quick to change your positions so he couldn't see that. You pushed at his shoulders, making him to fall back on your blankets, head on your pillows, and bed eyes looking up at you, watching you attentively.

"I know you're not, you horny fucker." You straddled his lap, hands on his lower abs, and now with both of your legs on both of his sides, you just sat back, feeling his cock under the curve of your ass. And that made you smirk devilishly, 'cause it made you realize you were right on top of him, "Screw that, I'm the fucker apparently."

He raised an eyebrow at you, "Idea is not acceptable."

You raised back an eyebrow at him, "Idea is very acceptable," you wiggled your ass on his already growing erection, "Go tell your dick."

Grinding his teeth in annoyance he felt indeed his cock twitching under you, "You're being incorrect, princess and the pea."

You rolled your eyes at him, "You could have stopped at the 'princess', thank you very much."

"Stop being a brat and fuck me, you need an invite or?" He crossed his arms behind his head watching you with a defiant smile.

"How the tables have turned." You scowled at him, your hand reached down in between your bodies lifting yours up, to place the said hand on the base of his length, lining the tip at your entrance.

"Yeah, and I'll turn 'em again later."

You ignored his snark remark, even though his words were echoing in your brain like a nursery rhyme, and you just eased down onto him, letting him fill you up to the brim. You winced at the stretch, both his length and girth were ripping you apart, but you didn't complain at all.

"Fucking hell. I can fucking feel you in my stomach." You said with a faint voice, proceeding to moan rolling your head back, staying still for a moment, adjusting to his size.

You slightly lifted your ass up, leaving only the tip inside, still feeling full, just to smack it loudly against his tonic thighs trying to remain as quiet as you could 'cause you wanted to hear him, even if you wanted to scream out loud thanks to him who was reaching places you didn't know existed, causing you to violently clench around him and repeat your moves.

"Shit- Y/n you're so greedy and for what," as if he didn't know. He grunted, gripping your hips so forcefully you feared he would find the pieces of your flesh in his hands, but that pain only wounded you up even more, in fact, you felt yourself dripping into his shaft, the wetness helping your movements to get more smooth, and that made him hiss through his teeth, closing shut his eyes while whimpering.

Greedy for you, dickhead. You truly wanted to reply, "Your brobdingnagian dick makes me greedy, Hyuck." You opted instead, moaning shakily when he accidentally met up with your hips while you were going down.

"Never say that again." He tried to keep a straight face, but he soon realized that it was like boiling the ocean. Impossible.

After he closed his mouth, well, opened his mouth, to stop talking and letting out his moans mixed with his whimpers, you started to move off of him and on again, this time faster, making your boobs bounce up and down in a rapid motion. He was salivating at the view, and his hands were quick to make it to them, holding onto them for dear life, kneading like they were pizza dough, registering in his head that they even fitted perfectly in his hands.

He was waiting for this, to make you his, since the first time he saw you.

He was looking, trying at least, at you with so many emotions and feelings in his eyes that he couldn't even comprehend what they were exactly. Could you be more perfect than that?

Well, he figured it out that yes, you could be more perfect than that, in the exact moment you stopped bouncing on him, and started to fucking grind on him. Moans and curses words were spilling out of your mouths almost at the same time, both of you started to get louder. You felt him twitching more repeatedly than before, signaling you that he was reaching again his climax, and you were on the same wavelength if it weren't for the fact that you were restraining yourself from being only one step closer to that.

"I'm close- I'm fucking close Y/n, slow the fuck down-" A white ring of your slick around the base of his cock, now sliding down his balls and onto the mattress. He babbled out of his breath, not noticing that he was pinching your nipples between his fingers while he was holding your mounds, making your core tighten around his erection.

"And why would I do that?" You whined while your nails were digging deeply in his chest, unhurriedly sliding down his stomach and pelvis, leaving vivid red marks behind. If you were to be marked, he had to be too.

"'Cause I want- fuck- I want you to- cum first." You literally felt him trembling under you, and you tsked at him, how could he say such a thing if he was literally on his last legs? That's what he made you obsessed with him when you guys first met.

"Lightning never strikes twice," you clenched around him again, "this time, you cum first, pretty boy." and apparently it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

His legs folded under you making them crash into your back, while he was messily thrusting up into you to catch his own release. You physically felt him shooting his cum into you, filling you up as you never were in your whole life. Now it was his turn to lay lifeless under you, taking in deep breaths.

But you didn't give him much time to recover, you were still trying to reach your climax, which it was closer than you thought.

You regained your movements, grinding on him with your clit now in contact whit his pelvis, but it wasn't enough, so you brought your hand on it, and began to stroking it with your middle and ring fingers, the movement made your head fall back, resting on the knees of the guy who were stuttering under you, gripping your thighs as his life depended on them while watching you touching and getting yourself off, using him. You just were so hot in his eyes.

"Y/n-, Y/n stop, I'm gonna- gonna come again if you don't stop like," he gulped down while he whined like a baby deprived of his pacifier, "right fucking now- oh my god I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying-" he kept blabbering and stuttering, at that point you couldn't even understand the fuck he was saying, but you swear you saw tears at the corner of his eyes, and evidently, that was it for the both of you, 'cause he filled you up again with his load in no time while you were crying in your turn on top of him, this orgasm hitting you harder than the first one that had you almost sobbing.

You clashed down on him, with your damped skins in contact, and usually it would disgust you, but this time you noticed it actually didn't bother you at all while Donghyuck was caressing your back. You stayed cuddled like that for a while, just the right amount of time to regain control of your lungs.

"Well, that was a long ass ride." You chuckled breathlessly, playing with his necklace.

"You fucking overstimulated me." He pinched your side, making you yelp and you tried to run from his fingers, but to no avails, 'cause he was caging you with his legs so much stronger than yours.

"What can I say, it's hazards of the job." You said nonchalantly while looking up at him with a smirk on your face. He was glowing, and he was so pretty, dear lord.

"I'm gonna stifle you."

"Is it a threat or a promise?"

"Actually," he began calmly, connecting your mouths on a slow kiss, savoring the saltiness of your tears on both of your lips, licking your bottom one, dancing briefly with your tongue afterwards, and in the meantime both of his hands went down on your ass, kneading and taking his own time with it. He must have really liked it, and you smiled in your shared kiss. "It was a fucking promise." You forgot he had to continue his sentence, and with his radical change in his voice, everything surprised you, 'cause you really thought you were done for the night. But again, you were oh so wrong.

He suddenly flipped you on your stomach, making you land on your knees and elbows on the blankets. But he wasn't happy about it, he pushed your blades down so your chest would be pressed against the mattress, with your ass up. Again, he wasn't content and pushed down on your lumbar spine, making you arch your back and stick out your ass even more. That satisfied him.

Thank god you were an ex artistic gymnast.

"Hyuck wait- I can't do it anymore-" you gasped in fear. He was actually unpredictable, and that was one of the many proofs.

He prodded the thick head of his cock at your entrance, sliding it into you by one or two inches while chuckling fiendishly, "You can, and you will. You will be nothing but my personal cumdump, yeah?"

He shoved his length in you so hard that you jolted forwards, a hiccup already leaving your mouth, feeling stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey. He threw back his head grunting like a wild animal at the feeling of your warm and still wet, from all of his cum, walls around his dick, "I'm gonna fuck you that brattiness off of your pretty face, doll."

Breathing through his teeth he started to build up his own pace, making you jolting forwards with each of his deep thrusts. In that position you could feel him reaching your cervix, hitting your g-spot as he kept going past it every time, causing you to stutter his name numerous times as you felt again your tears rolling down your cheeks, they didn't stop like the first time, they kept flowing and your mascara was soon ruined, staining your skin under your eyes, on your cheeks, and even under your chin as they grouped together. You were a babbling mess under him while he started plunging into you at a inhuman rate, feeling weaker and more alive simultaneously at every bump of his hips against your ass.

"You- You fill me up- so well Hyuck-," your right cheek were pressed against your sheets, not even trying to look at him 'cause you had no strength, you were just mumbling nonsense every now and then, "you're so good for me." Your intent was to say that he was good to you in that moment, not that he was the person good for you in general, but you guessed your mind disagreed, 'cause you didn't even corrected yourself, not wanting to in the slightest.

He landed forcefully a palm on your asscheek, leaving again another print on it, and he kept going like this: a slap that sent you into the next century on each asscheek until you were, in the true sense of the word, sobbing like a newborn, staining your blankets under you with your tears and saliva.

He was chasing his own release at this point, again, and that sent you a shiver along your spine at the anticipation, 'cause that meant he was about to be overstimulated once more, given the fact that you were yes on the verge of literally squirting on him, but it wasn't still your time, and that made you grin like crazy.

Donghyuck noticed you smiling to yourself hoping to go unnoticed, but you failed, and that rose curiosity in him, he didn't pry, but that made him place his left hand around your throat, bringing you up towards his sweaty chest. He was putting pressure on both of the sides of it, cutting off the blood pressure and giving you the feeling of pain and pleasure caused by the dizziness in your head.

"Told you it was a promise, slut, didn't I?" He whispered to your ear, brushing it softly with his plump lips, making your nipples stiffening in pleasure. You tried to nod at his words, wanting to give him an answer, but he fucking laughed at you, nibbling at your lobe while his other hand outstretched to your neglected nip, rolling and flicking it between his thumb and index finger.

Next time he would suck on them like they were his favorite lollipops.

"Answer me properly, doll." His deep voice went straight to your core.

"Y-yes, Hyuck-" you tried to say, gasping next for a little more of air, "you- you told me."

"You're such a good girl." The pet name made you squirm in his arms, your walls clenching around him multiple times as you whined out a plea. You were right there, but he beat you to it.

"Oh fuck- I'm coming-" his pace slightly stuttered "I'm gonna fuck you full of my cum again-" and with that, he emptied himself into you, filling you up deliciously in that position. You almost felt his cock in your throat again while he was still throbbing inside you.

You wouldn't be surprised if you could see his bulge through your stomach.

"You didn't come." He stated while looking at you sternly, "but that's not a problem. Whores like you get rewarded if they behave."

You mewled at his degradation, tightening once again your pussy around his cock, making him hiss and curl up towards you, but that didn't stop him. He kept fucking you setting aside the pain mixed with pleasure he was feeling, whimpering praises and degradations in your ear. You didn't know what to do anymore, your mind was in a hazy state and he hitting your spongy spot didn't help either.

Sniffles and moans were leaving your lips again, "Hyuck- I'm-" you tried to warn him, but the knot in your belly broke again and abruptly, not giving you time to realize it was really squirt, how you supposed earlier, that came out of your body.

That, was a result of how badly he could mess up with your body and mind. And you liked that.

Your incredibly amount of slickness drenched everything around you, including you and a content him. And with that he came again, too overstimulated for his own likes, but he wouldn't have complained if he had the chance to witness that afresh.

"Do that again but on my face please."

"Next thing I'll do is kicking you in your ribs."

He mocked you high-pitching his voice, but he proceeded to pull out of you with his finally softening member, and he dragged you down so you could lay your head on your pillow right in front of him, face-to-face still soaking all wet and breathless, your bodies screaming at you for a shower and a couple of glasses of water.

He plonked his free arms around your torso, bringing you closer to him, your chests and noses now touching softly, you giggled while looking in his eye, finding him already looking at yours with a silly expression on his face, was all that sex enough to make him a different person or what, he was literally calling you a slut seconds earlier. You shook your head, still smiling like a fool, and you pecked at his lips, lingering for a little longer on his lips you were starting to love excessively.

He pecked at your lip this time, biting softly your bottom one before he pulled apart, "Cat got your tongue?" An eyebrow raised at you.

"Shut up before I pee on you." In amusement you rolled your eyes at him, while standing up, heading trembling to your bathroom.

"Actually, you already did tha-"

"Lee Donghyuck!" You screamed from outside your door with your hands in your hair, stressed (not really) again by his antics.

He made a little run to catch up with you, swiftly picking you up much to your surprise, carrying you bridal style.

"Let's take the aftercare in the shower, my love." He grinned down at you while you steadily held onto him.

Your eyes went out of your sockets, making you choke on your own saliva, "your what?!"

"Nothing!"

And your hand tugged on his hair, making him yelp out of pain.

The next morning the ringing of a phone, echoed between the walls of your room.

You were a light sleeper, that was why you heard the phone firstly, but you noticed it wasn't your ringtone, so you quickly kicked in the shin the man that was sleeping next to you in your bed.

You thanked god again, 'cause you remembered to turn the AC on before you and Donghyuck could fall asleep as soon as you came back from the shower last night. And yes, that implied that the guy was sleeping soundly anchored to you, and without the AC on, you surely would have gone to sleep in your backyard.

"Donghyuck." You grunted in a hoarse voice.

No response.

You shoved him with your leg out of your bed, letting him hitting the floor, and he cried out in pain, again.

"Your phone." You simply said to him, and with that you saw him sprinting towards his jeans lying on the floor in front of him, searching frantically for the device in his pockets with his messy hair in all the directions, making you almost laugh at him.

"Hello?" His voice was hoarse too, so he cleared his throat while rubbing his eyes to wake up at least a little bit.

"No, I- Johnny I can explain-" he said hurriedly, "actually, I can explain to you, but don't tell Kun-" it was funny watching him walking around your room in panic, trying to save his own ass with his friends, with his hirers.

"What do you mean he wants to fire me?!" He squealed with his free hand in his hair.

His dick was dangling with each of his movements, making you try to suppress your laugh in your pillow.

"But- he can't! Well no, yes- I know he can-" he wails walking in circle, "but I'm the best among all other employees even if I disappeared from work last night-" he tried to sugarcoat his friend, but it was ineffectual. The call ended, and a cute pout appeared on his face. You sweared you could've kissed it off of him under different circumstances.

"Now I am jobless." He said puffing his cheeks, throwing himself on the bed, precisely on you.

You dramatically gasped for air while patting his head, which it was on your chest, and he was looking up at you, still with that pout on his lips.

"Now all I have left is my girlfriend." Now, you were gasping for air for real, 'cause that took you off guard, but not in a negative way. You actually took a moment to think about the man on top of you: aside from the first meeting went all the way down, you indeed realized that he was the only one, not counting your best friends, that were able to take your bull by the horns. He always had something up his sleeve to make you laugh and flatter at the same time. The way he took care of you, even with small gestures, made you fall for him quickly, plus his fun and witty ass was a relief for your monotonous course of life, so maybe he would put a twist to it.

"Ask me properly Lee Donghyuck." You feigned annoyance at him, when instead, you were more than on a cloud-nine.

"Y/n," he took a moment to elaborate his thoughts, he already screwed up his job, he didn't want to screw up with you too. "Could you give me the honor of calling you my girlfriend?" With his eyes full of hope he kept staring at you, with his heart pounding in his ears. He was about to faint from the anxiety, he could feel it.

"Of course I'll be your girlfriend, you silly dumbass." You never smiled so widely in your whole life, and placing both of your palms on his cheeks, you kissed him like time didn't existed, making his ear flush both for your final response and the breathtaking kiss.

Needless to say that you guys stayed a little longer on your bed, kissing like teenagers do in high school.

"Hey," he tried to say casually after sharing the last kiss.

"Oh no."

"I was thinking-"

"Oh no." You repeated dramatically, like something catastrophic was about to happen.

"Can you not?!"

"I'm sorry, it actually surprises me that you can think," you raised your shoulder, curling his already curly hair in your fingers.

"Now I think I'm just gonna go non-verbal on you."

"I was kidding baby, go ahead," your tone softened.

"Could you hire me, perhaps?" He said with a hopeful and devilish smirk.

Again, you took a moment to think about his offer, and you in fact needed one more hand at work, 'cause you were all alone in there, and sometimes you really wished you had an employee to help you out with the stocks in the back, o simply in the store sharing your tasks with one another. And having your boyfriend working and staying with you everyday? It was like a dream came true.

"Hell, no."

You just were as bad as him.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: hi! this is actually my first fic ever, which has been on my mind for far too long, so i thought it was time to publish it. even tho i was (still am*) too insecure to do that fr, my obsession with haechan motivated me to do so ((mj's absolutely one of my favorite artists, so i couldnt help but choose one of his songs as a title for my first hyuck's fic)). Also, my mental health's at it again so i considered writing to distract myself from it at least a little bit, hope you can appreciate my efforts! Plus ik it's pretty basic-, but w time ill def get better at this! An honorable mention n a massive thank u goes to my bae @mrkis , i wouldnt be here without her. I love you a lot dude, im being ffr. Feedbacks n reblogs r highly appreciated! Hoping yall enjoyed ur reading♡.

[thatsatricky1]

𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 | 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Y/n didn’t have a lot going for her, rising student loan debt, a shared dodgy apartment and a shitty bank job that didn’t pay well. Could her life get any more downgraded? Apparently it could, in the form of a group of well known bank robbers deciding the bank she worked at was the perfect and simplest heist they could do for a change.

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Lee Jeno x Reader

𝐖𝐜: 2k

If there was one thing both Winter and Y/n could agree on it was they did not get paid enough working at the Bank. The fact the two of them had gotten a job there had surprised them up until they’d actually started working there and then they realised just how horrible it was.

Most banks these days had one or two counters for actual human interaction, with more ATM’s littered against the walls for non-human interaction. Which was what people preferred these days.

However the bank Winter and Y/n managed to snag a job from was an old bank, with only one ATM which wasn’t even located in the building but outside it on the wall. Inside however was like going a step back in time where it was lined with ropes heading to five separate counters.

Today like any other day both Winter and Y/n were behind their separate counters helping one customer after the other. Customer service was and will forever be dreadful yet the two women sucked it up, they had student loan debts and rent hanging over their heads like most young people.

Y/n glancing up at the large built in clock against one of the lobby walls noting it was nearly time for break. Though turning her attention back on the ranting old lady she knew it would end up being a while before she’d get to head into the staff room.

“Ma’am like I said before, unfortunately you’ve already taken out your limit for this month.” Y/n repeated her words she’d already explained in much more detail to the elderly lady twenty minutes ago.

She did on one hand feel sorry for the elderly lady since she wasn’t getting much monthly from her retirement money, though that happened a lot more frequently these days and would only get worse as the years progressed. Y/n didn’t even want to think about her own retirement pay later on in life.

But that empathy was slowly draining from her when the elderly woman went from ranting on how unfair it was to blatantly disrespecting and dissing her. The fact she was catching strays from the elderly woman for something not in her control made Y/n want to slam her own head against the wooden counter but instead rolled back her shoulders to keep up proper posture.

After another ten minutes the elderly lady finally left the line to head outside, unsuccessful in getting more money. If it was up to Y/n she’d have shoved money into the woman’s hand and sent her on her way thirty minutes ago, but again, she needed to keep this job.

Y/n glanced over at Winter’s counter, wincing at seeing a guy wearing a business suit waving his arms animatedly. That toupee he was wearing did nothing to hide his obvious receding hairline and hair loss.

The person walking up to Y/n quiet enough she didn’t pay him any attention, too focused on watching Winter dealing with the toupee business man.

Y/n head only turning to face in front when a low voice cleared their throat.

“Oh fuck.” Was all she could mumble out with the sight in front of her. He was wearing a white balaclava with two black spikes on the top, that may or may not have been cat-like. But it was the logo patch ironed on it that caught her attention.

Dream.

A notorious group that surfaced one year ago known for bank robbing. Yes, in this era, day and age that was still happening. Usually unsuccessfully but this group had been doing it perfectly well without getting caught.

The group goes from big bank heists to small ones in different areas all around the place. No proper method, pattern or strategy being linked to them. And they just so happened to decide that this bank was their newest stop.

The person raised an eyebrow at Y/n’s choice of wording and quite tamed reaction most likely from shock. She noted he wore blue-greenish contacts and some of his white bleached fringe was pushed down by the balaclava.

A loud bang sounding out through the room followed by screams. Customers and workers alike going down to the ground. Only then did Y/n connect the dots; it had been a warning shot fired by another guy wearing a similar balaclava.

Her eyes drifted towards the chaos but a click of fingers brought her gaze back to focus on the one in front of her.

He grabbed a piece of paper sliding it through the small gap in the window pane glass separating the counter, a safety precaution the bank had installed years ago.

Her fingers sliding the paper closer to her side unfolding it to see what was written on it.

‘Cash’ That’s all that was written on it.

Refraining from making a face she looked up at the guy before glancing over at the other counters seeing four other people with balaclavas already getting cash from each counter.

Scrunching up the paper, she moved below the desk to grab the pay out box. They had one box at the counters for up front pay, but her attention focused on the button below her desk.

The emergency call button they had installed two years ago. Only being able to afford making one of them which so happened to be her counter for the day. Y/n had been pretty sure a panic button legally had to be installed on every counter in banks but she’d bit her tongue on that one when she’d first gotten to know the bank.

Of course it was her desk that happened to have the panic button, how on earth was she supposed to nonchalantly press it. She wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t even work, their boss cut corners on check ups all the time. She was pretty sure that button hadn’t had any attention on it since the day it was installed.

Grabbing the pay up box she stood up placing it on the counter moving to unlock it ignoring the gaze on her face. Starting to take out the money in stacks.

Hands fumble after the third stack a few falling down, Y/n shooting the guy a sheepish smile moving to bend down slightly one hand grabbing the cash while the other pushed down on the panic button. She could only hope that thing actually worked.

Fully standing as she continued to stack the cash before pushing them through the small hole entrance of the glass panel. The guy moved his hand to swipe the money into a material duffle bag. His gaze drifted up to hers once more.

“That’s all I have in my till, maybe you should have come by an hour earlier before some widow took out a pay out life endurance bill.” Y/n blurted out half because of nerves but also because she never quite knew the appropriate thing to say in serious moments.

The guy's eyes twitched slightly as if amused by her words before he gestured his head to the side, Y/n following it to see her work colleagues behind their counters moving out being led towards the centre of the lobby.

Taking the hint she moved towards the counter’s small hip height door leaving the little safety nook, moving to walk over to the crowded middle area of the lobby.

Not even a second by the others before Winter grabbed her hand tugging her down next to the rest of them.

“Did you?” Winter cryptically asked out her finger making a moving motion which took Y/n a second to understand before she nodded.

Y/n moved her head slightly to look over at two of the masked guys heading towards the back with her manager. In a weird way she was satisfied in seeing her boss look like he was about to shit himself after all the overtime, pay cuts and unfair things he’d done to herself and other workers.

Twenty minutes in, Y/n had noticed the other four masked men had taken turns walking around them, making sure no one left the small circle they’d formed in the middle of the lobby. Occasionally they’d gesture to one or another person to give them something, mainly jewellery, watches, wallets, purses and other valuable items.

The guy from before walking up standing over Winter and Y/n, looking them over as if to see if they had anything worth pocketing. Y/n holding back a comment on how unlikely it was seeing as their stuff was in the staff room.

But she did note his gaze seemed to go over Winter but stayed stuck on her. He gestured with his free hand tapping on his ear. Y/n only staring back before Winter nudged her.

“Your earrings.” Winter whispered in a rush not wanting things to go south.

Y/n shoot her a look since her earrings were just casual short thick metal loops. She’d bought them on a whim at a market years ago for cheap. They weren’t expensive and definitely weren’t valuable.

Though she still moved to take off all four of them, handing them over into the guys waiting palm. He looked down at them, fiddling slightly with them before moving to slip them in his pocket rather than putting them in the bag.

Right then the two guys from before walked back out from the back of the bank with duffle bags slung over their shoulders, the bank's manager nowhere in sight.

With that they all started to get ready to leave until the familiar sound of sirens flooded the air still at a far away distance. The guy nearest scrunching his eyebrows at how that happened, the police station would have been too far away to hear the one warning shot and they’d confiscated all phones right at the start.

Though his eyes drifted towards Y/n, tilting his head recalling when she’d crouched to grab some cash she’d dropped. A muffled laugh leaving his mouth. She’d pressed a panic button. He’d thought for sure along with the rest that this old place wouldn’t have one.

Jeno couldn’t exactly say he was impressed, a lot of the time the panic button got pressed during their bank heists. But he did think this one would be stuck in his head for a while.

Jaemin silently patted his chest to get his attention, nodding his head towards the back gesturing that they were leaving. Slinging his duffle bag over his shoulder he glanced one more time at the two women nearby before they left.

The six of them getting into the van as Renjun who’d been waiting had pulled up at the right time for them, not even giving time for Mark to close the door properly, tires squealing as he drove off.

Jeno leaning back in his seat peeling the balaclava off, chucking it to the side somewhere before shoving his hand into his pocket pulling out four metal chunked earrings. Rolling them around his fingers in thought.

“I’m guessing that’s for your personal collection.” Donghyuck scoffed out unimpressed, his head shoved over the back seat gazing at what was in his friend, Jeno’s hand. He preferred more expensive pieces over bland metal or at least something with a splash of colour.

“I like them.” Jeno hummed out noticing the wear and scratches on them. Gaze moving to the window where the back bank slowly got smaller and smaller.

“We really don’t get paid enough for this shit.” Y/n grumbled watching the police finally enter the building, her shoulders slumping at the fact it was one middle aged man with a very unkempt moustache and a scrawny looking trainee.

“You‘d think the bank robbers would have been doing us a favour if they had at least broke an arm or leg of ours for insurance purposes.” Winter chimed in wincing when the trainee tripped over his own foot.

“New job?” Y/n offered out.

“New job.” Winter confirmed in a more of a sigh.

Hope y’all liked the preview it was a bit rushed, the actual oneshot is gonna be really really long so prepaid yourself for that lol.

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @rotinyzen @wonyoungmywife @snflwrhaerecs4u @thegreenlynx @serinebsblog @delululi @bubusebu @hanniehq @molensworld @morkiee @marvelahsobx @kaciebello @kgneptun @bluedbliss @haechansbbg @officiallyjaehyuns @bunnychui

(If you want to be tagged in my Nct Dream writing/works comment, inbox or message me)

Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed. Don’t forget likes, reblogs and comments are always encouraged and help keep writers like myself motivated to continue our works.

𝐊𝐩𝐨𝐩 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭:

⤻ Click here.

[mrkerina]

Growing up ; na jaemin

— (childhood friends au) in which he did everything for you growing up.

Pairing — Na jaemin (nct) x fem!reader

Word count — 3067

Content — Five stages of your life where Jaemin’s acts of service came through, warming your heart and etched deeply in your memories.

Author’s note — Yums one month gap between this and my previous post, not bad. Anyways, this one has a combination of many scenes from books and dramas. Enjoyed writing this one ngl, acts of service is my second favourite love language.

As a child, we all made many mistakes. We fell, we learned our first steps, our first words, all together with our parents that stayed by our sides. For y/n, however, her parents had never been there for her. It was always that one little boy with big eyes and a kind heart that stayed with her every step along the way.

The rain poured, every droplet hitting the ground with a loud thud. The strong winds blew with a powerful passion. “ Jaemin! Let’s go play in the rain!” The 6 year old girl squealed, pulling the other 7 year old along by his arm. He reluctantly followed along after her relentless whining, despite worrying about her getting sick later.

The two stepped outside to their backyard, the sound of rain drops thudding on the roof resonated through the atmosphere. Y/n giggled as she immediately took off into the pouring rain and jumped on puddles of water, watching how the water splashes surrounded her.

“Be careful, don’t get hurt!” Jaemin warned. He stayed back in the shade, not really wanting to get himself drenched but still keeping an eye on the girl who played excitedly. Her eyes sparkled in delight as she stuck her palms out to let the water drip on her palms.

“Look Jaemin look!” She exclaimed while splashing the droplets of rain she had collected up in the air. She was so immersed in showing it off to her best friend, that with a small step to go closer to him ended up causing her to slip and lose her balance. It was an immediate instinct for a 6 year old to start crying, her knee had been scraped and there was a throbbing pain coming from it.

The boy jerked in reaction, springing into action. He immediately went up to the girl despite not wanting to get drenched before, but her cries were all he could focus on. He draped one of her arms around his shoulder, with the other around her waist, lifting her up on her feet. The boy had to drag the girl back inside with the limited amount of strength that he had.

He gently placed her on the couch before scrambling around to get the first aid he had seen his mother use on him before. He cleaned up her wound while she continued to let out painful wails. He gently blew on her scraped knee before placing a bandage over it.

Without a word, he went into his room and took a pair of shirt and shorts that she had left behind the last time she came. The crying girl only looked up when she noticed his outstretched hand, she could see the worry in his eyes through her tears. “Go change your clothes before you catch a cold,” he said.

That was one of the many times she vividly remembered, his soft and concerned gaze, his actions that spoke to her louder than the few words others ever could say. Not a single blame towards her or nag that he had “told her so”. Not a single sign that she was a waste of his time, just those pure eyes that looked at her caringly. That was only the beginning of many other instances. The soft and caring nature of the boy clashing with the clumsy and playful one of the girl.

⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉

You sat at your study table, focussing on your study materials. Your final examination is coming up, the one that determines which university you would go to. It was a dream of yours to follow Jaemin’s footsteps, to enter the same university as him albeit a different course. It was hard, considering you were lacking behind while he flourished and went to one of the top universities in the country.

You were under a lot of pressure, feeling so stupid as you tried to make sense of the basics. Mathematics had never been your strong suit, numbers had just never made sense to you.

Staring at one question for 30 minutes, not even knowing where to start much less what the question was even asking for. Your frustration was growing, one hand in your hair while the other gripped the pen tightly. Tears began to gather in your eyes which you rapidly blinked back.

You jumped in surprise when there was a sudden knock on your door, interrupting the quiet atmosphere of your room. Snapping out of your stress-induced daze, you quickly wiped the remaining wetness in your eyes before speaking. “Come in!”

Jaemin’s head was the first to peek through before he opened the door wider and stepped into the room. “How’s it going Luna?” He spoke as he walked in with a chocolate cupcake from your favourite bakery in hand.

Your eyes widened in shock – by the fact that he was right in front of you in your room and that he bought you the cupcake you love so much. Ever since university had started for him, the two of you had been seeing each other less since he had moved out to live in the dorms at his university.

“What are you doing here Jaem?” You questioned in shock, standing up to give him a hug. You were genuinely excited and happy to see him, but you couldn’t muster up enough energy amidst your solemn mood.

“I’m just here to check up on you.”

“Mhm, as you can see, I’m fine so you can leave…yeah you can go.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at her weird behavior. In any normal circumstance, she would be elated to see him, jumping around the room and all that. Definitely not kicking him out at the first moment he steps in.

Instead of leaving, he sat down on your bed beside your study table. “Oh for this question you should find the derivative then equate it,” he explained as he pointed towards the math question that you were stuck on. It was as if that one sentence cleared the mental fog in your head, understanding the question requirements better.

And that continued on for the next few hours, just with the 19 year old boy patiently teaching the girl without any complaints.

“Thanks Jaem, I think that was the most productive session I’ve had in a while,” you spoke as you munched on the cupcake. You felt better, really. You could understand the concept more and didn’t feel as stupid as before.

He simply nodded before grabbing a tissue from your bedside table. One hand came to grip your chin while the other gently cleaned off the chocolate stain at the corner of your lip. Your heart felt like it stopped for a moment, blood rushing up your neck and to your cheeks.

“W-what you could have let me do it myself.”

“But I like doing things for you.”

He threw the tissue away as he spoke with a neutral expression on his face. That was one thing you disliked about him — how he could make your heart flutter with the things he does and says and yet act like it's the smallest deal in the world. You shook off the feeling, knowing he probably doesn’t feel the same. Your lips stretched into a thankful smile, feeling really grateful that you had someone like him by your side.

“I’m really glad that we’re friends, Jaem.”

“Me too, Luna.”

⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉

“So why do you always call me Luna?”

The sun shined down incandescently in the middle of the clear blue sky. The two were walking together around the university during their 2 hour break with drinks from the cafe in hand.

After endless hardwork and sleepless nights, with the help of Jaemin’s guidance of course, you had actually managed to get into your dream university and course. It was fulfilling but tough nevertheless. All that matters to you now is the fact that you could spend more time with him — just like you have been doing ever since you came out of your mother’s womb.

Jaemin hummed at your question, not answering as he continued to sip on his coffee. “That’s a secret,” those were the only words he said which made you groan in frustration. You always brought up the same question every time you get reminded of it, yet you would get that same reply to no avail.

“Will you ever tell me why?”

“Possibly.”

You rolled your eyes, walking ahead of him. You didn’t get far before he pulled you back by your ponytail. “Are you showing me attitude now kiddo?” He shook his head and sighed. “I didn’t raise you to be like this.”

You stuck your tongue out at him before giggling at how ridiculous it was. “I’m only a year younger than you. Now can you let go of me?” You said as you tried to use your free hand to get his grip off your hair. “Hey that hurts,” you winced, using the only weakness of his that you knew — you being hurt in any way.

He immediately let go. “I’m sorry, are you okay?” He asked with a tinge of worry, raising a hand up to gently massage your head.

“I was just joking, catch me if you can!” You exclaimed, giggling as you ran off.

Jaemin could only sigh as he watched you running off in the distance with a bright smile lighting up your face. One of his own occupied his lips, looking at you endearingly. He chased after you, going along with your antics although rather begrudgingly.

That night, Jaemin had requested for you to meet him at the rooftop garden of your dorm. Stars lit the sky like snow-flakes in the night, the moon casting a glow down that added a spark to the normally ordinary garden. The boy looked at his feet, biting his lip nervously with the box grasped tightly in his hand.

Awaiting for your presence felt like minutes turned into centuries, Jaemin could barely breathe through the rapid beat of his heart. The moment you came in sight with the usual bright smile of yours, he calmed down slightly.

“What’s up Jaem? Why did you call me here?” You questioned once you reached him. You looked around the area, not really seeing anything special. Glancing at the boy, you noticed the slightly nervous expression on his face, his hair slightly messy from running his hand through it.

“Um I don’t really know how to go about this, I know you know I’m more of an actions over words type of person,” he started, looking into your eyes intently. “You ask me why I call you Luna all the time, it means my moon. Because no matter how dark the nights got, you were always there to light it up, guiding me through. Everything felt okay when you were with me, one smile and it felt like my entire day had been made.

His words warmed your heart, you felt tears welling up in your eyes listening to him.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like you. I like that you’re clumsy so that I can take care of you. I like that you’re always smiling like I hung the moon up when to me, that’s what you do for me everyday,” he let out a breath, opening the box that he had gripped onto so tightly, revealing the moon shaped necklace inside. “Can I be your boyfriend?”

Your words got stuck in your throat, so instead you nodded profusely, wrapping your hands around his neck to hug him. Jaemin chuckled, wrapping his arms gently around your waist.

“The necklace is really pretty.”

“Let me put it on for you.”

He unclasped the necklace as you held your hair up. The warmth of his hands radiated on your neck, his breath fanning your earlobe which sent a shiver down your spine. He fastened the necklace tightly before you let go of your hair. He arranged it neatly in the middle, the silver jewelry sparkling in the night.

“Pretty,” he breathed out. “The necklace and you.”

⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉

It was your graduation day. You felt slightly moody that your family couldn’t make it. With both your parents being doctors, they rarely had time to come around for milestones in your life. It left a void in your heart, the lack of parental love from them.

What made it worse was the fact that your boyfriend had something on today so he couldn’t make it either. The one person who held a special place in your heart.

The day felt more draggy than usual, waiting for your name to be called as you watched everyone go up on stage to collect their certificates. A frown occupied your lips as you robotically clapped along with everyone else at the right time. “Next student is y/n,” the MC announced. You forced a smile on your lips as you walked up on stage.

It was all a blur. Grabbing the certificate, smiling for the camera before walking down from the stage. Did you seriously work your ass off just for this moment? It felt meaningless.

As everyone dispersed to take pictures with their respective families, you stood in a corner. A soft, longing smile stretched on your lips as you looked around. Despite the predicament with your own parents, it felt nice to watch others get to have the kind of love that you didn’t receive.

“Ding dong, a chocolate cupcake delivery for y/n?” A voice spoke from behind. You turned around so quickly as a gasp escaped your lips upon seeing the boy before you. You ran up to him and jumped with your hands wrapping around his neck. Jaemin managed to use his other free hand to hold you up, the other clutching the cake. “Happy graduation, my Luna,” he chuckled.

“I thought you weren’t gonna come,” you spoke into his neck, frowning slightly at the thought. Jaemin placed you back down on your feet, moving your loose strands of hair behind your ears to see your face clearly.

“Silly, how can I miss your graduation?”

“I don’t know. I j-just thought that..” you trailed off, feeling yourself choke on your own words. “I guess I’m used to my parents not showing up so I don’t expect anyone else to show up for me…”

He grasped your chin, tilting your face up to look at him. His eyes were filled with warmth, a softness painted in them that embraced you in a tight hug. “Don’t ever think that way because you have me. I’ll always be there for you, no matter what.”

Your heart warmed at his words, you felt such an overwhelming sense of endearment for the man in front of you. Standing on your toes, you placed your lips softly against his. The boy tilted his head slightly, deepening it as he leant down so that you felt more comfortable. One hand cupped your cheek while the other wrapped around your waist tightly.

The way you felt with him could only be described as one thing — home.

⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉

The next few years went by in bliss. The bond between you and Jaemin only grew stronger as the days passed by, your love for him felt so overpowering that you felt so alive.

You finished the last touch of decorations in the backyard of the house that the two of you lived in before heading back inside. You anxiously sat on the couch in the living room, waiting for Jaemin to come home from work. Counting every second that passes, you bit the inside of your cheek — a nervous habit that you had.

Your heart was racing so fast that it felt like you were having a heart attack. When the sound of keys clinging resonated throughout the house, you instantly jumped on your feet. Rushing to the main door, you greeted the boy who had just entered.

“How was your day?”

“Good. Why are you sweating so much? Are you feeling alright?” Jaemin asked, noticing the sweat beading down your forehead the moment he looked up.

“Y-yeah I’m fine. Can you follow me to the backyard for a while?” You requested as you helped him take off his coat and hang it at the rack. Jaemin raised an eyebrow in question but obliged and followed behind you.

Opening the door to the backyard, it revealed a series of fairy lights twirling around the bushes, shining on the trail towards an empty area in the middle. You continued to drag Jaemin down the aisle right till the middle.

“Wow you did a nice job decorating the place, love.”

“Thanks, but that’s not what I brought you out here for,” you started, breathing in and out three times to calm your nerves before looking up into his eyes. “I remember the first time when you helped me. I childishly played in the rain and fell while you were there to pick me up and care for me when no one else was there. I slept over at your house a lot and rarely went home, I think that was because I found my home in you,” you paused, catching your breath. “You’ve always been the one to do things for me growing up. I wouldn’t even have made it into my dream university without your help,” you chuckled.

“But for once I thought I would repay you by doing something for you instead,” your voice wavered slightly at the end. You got down on one knee, taking out the box from your pocket. You opened it, revealing the moon shaped diamond ring inside. “I know this might be against the typical stereotypes of the man proposing to the woman but,” you stopped, your palms sweating from nerves.

“Will you marry me, Na Jaemin?”

Tears fell from his eyes, the love he felt for you was suffocating, controlling his every breathing moment. “Yes! Of course I will, Luna.” He said before crouching down to your level and pulling you to him in a kiss.

The two broke off their kiss — only to put the ring on him of course. The delicate moon on his finger, a symbolism of the love that they shared.

“I love you, to the moon and back.”

[chocojae]

𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘  — jeong jaehyun (teaser)

summary ▸ jaehyun had always thought that parting ways with you would have made his messy life a bit easier, but why is it that he so often finds himself all lost and your absence only makes his heart clench in loneliness? inspired by ▸ forever only — jaehyun

genre ▸ idol! Jaehyun x female reader | exes to lovers au | angst | fluff

word count (teaser) ▸ 667 estimated word count (fic) : 4k

release date ▸ tba

warnings (teaser) ▸ profanity

network ▸ @kflixnet​

JAEHYUN SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT WAS A BAD IDEA.

He should have known that cleaning his apartment on a sunday morning just because he wanted to be “productive” and get his shit together would make things worse for him.

He stares awfully long at the lavender coloured album titled “her”, which he had found on one of his shelves, sitting pretty and eating up dust. He gulped harshly as memories of you flooded his mind.

With his hand practically shaking, he mustered up the courage to flip to the first page of his once loved album, pupils dilating as his eyes landed on the first pic of you under a street lamp, the soft light illuminating your features and thus enhancing your appearance. You were smiling for the camera, pearl whites on full display.

He remembers that day vividly; when you both pretended to be strangers in your own hometown so that you could get lost in the familiar streets— a simple excuse to be in each other’s company for a little longer.

You were wearing a white top paired with a denim skirt, hair gently blowing with the breeze. Jaehyun stared at the photo a little longer than he would like to admit. You looked beautiful, as you always did.

He doesn’t understand. It was he who had suggested parting ways since his schedule was taking up a toll on him and the relationship just added to it, but then again, why is he the one who so often finds himself lost and subconsciously wishing your warmth would return to him, engulfing him like a cozy blanket?

Jaehyun’s not sure either. But what he is sure of, is the fact that there might be a tiny part of him that still longs for you. 

It’s been a little over two months since your break up with Jaehyun. And now the sweet memories you left behind seem to have left a sour taste on his tongue. 

Jaehyun sighed as he slumped back on his bed, the album falling on his chest with a soft thud. His orbs blankly stared at the white ceiling above. He misses you.

Hell, he had missed you the day he had shown up at your apartment door just to call it off, and he had hated how you knew his intentions before he could have uttered a single word.

The last kiss you shared at the door, the tears that flowed down those pretty eyes of yours as you held onto him tight, knowing that he is going to leave you; all those haunted his mind, playing like a broken tape.

Jaehyun thought he would finally get the much needed rest after the break up, but as each day passes by, he just found himself being more relentless than he was before. He admits he was selfish. He was selfish in calling off the beautiful relationship because he was too tired with his schedule to spare you some time. 

He opted to give up, and not fight. He should have moved on from you, it was supposed to be easy after all. But here he is, seeing you in his dreams, in his everyday life and as soon as he inches closer to touch you, it all vanishes — it turns out to be an illusion.

His heart gets filled with deeper longing. He wants you back and it drives him crazy. Jaehyun isn’t supposed to be a coward, but he became one when he let you go, and now he became a greater one when he chose to not accept that he in fact, still loves you.

luna’s note ▸ here is a preview of what i am currently working on! i have always wanted to write this fic since forever only came out but after seeing an english cover of this song in feb (i think) my brain was finally ready to work.

if you want to be added to the taglist of this story please send an ask or comment under this post ♡ 

you can find my posted works here and more fic ideas here!

© chocojae 2023

[neolovesneo]

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.

skater!mark, nurse!reader, elderbrother!johnny | fluff | best friends to strangers to friends to lovers au

note ; requests are open!! + im back i guess?? i said the same thing last year august but then i disappeared again lol,, anyways enjoy this mark fic thats been in my drafts for god knows how long </3

taglist ; @soobin-chois (lmk if you'd like to be added to my taglist!)

tw: mentions of blood, broken arms, and a hospital

Summer, 2011. (12)

"Coming through!" Johnny dramatically bellows down the halls, using his arm to swat anyone out of his way. "Injured individual making his way to Biology, get out of the way!"

Mark's face flushes bright red at his brother's antics, groaning as he kept his eyes on the ground. "Dude, will you stop it? I can walk through the crowd myself." he mumbles.

It's not like Mark can't walk either; it was just a broken arm from a nasty skateboard fall last week. Which was mainly Johnny's idea - he somehow persuaded Mark to attempt an ollie on the staircases.

Keyword: attempt.

"Yeah, yeah," Johnny huffs, stopping as they arrived outside Mark's classroom. "That's what you're saying now, and you'd go home and whine to Mom later about how I didn't 'take care of you like an elder brother should'."

The younger is about to protest but Johnny rolls his eyes, opening the classroom door and lightly pushing Mark in.

"Just be careful. Don't blow anything up, see you at lunch!"

And with that, Johnny speeds off to his own class, a blurry figure rapidly sprinting down the halls.

"Bye!" Mark calls, waving stiffly with his left hand.

"Oh my God Mark, what happened?"

You're facing the Canadian with wide eyes of surprise and concern when he turns around, jaw dropped.

"Fell down the stairs on my skateboard last week." he sighs, clambering onto the high stools of the Biology classroom. "I landed on my elbow, and I broke the bone all the way till here."

Your gaze follows his finger's motion, jaw dropping at the horrifying image of your best friend breaking almost his entire arm. "Did it hurt? Did you sit in an ambulance? Did the doctors give you any candy?"

Mark scoffs, awkwardly moving his casted arm. "We're twelve, Y/N. Big girls and boys don't get candy anymore."

You hum in realization, but Mark leans in to whisper after a while.

"The X-ray machine was kinda scary though," he whispers, looking left and right suspiciously, not wanting anyone to overhear. "Looked like a gigantic door handle."

You grimace at this, staring weirdly at Mark. "So they used a door handle to take your X-ray?"

"What? No!"

Mark facepalms, shaking his head. "Didn't you say you wanted to be a nurse when you grow up?" he asks suspiciously, frowning at you. " Kinda stupid of you to think that doctors use door handles to take X-rays."

You gasp dramatically at his words, squinting at him. "You were the one who said it looked like a door handle!" You retort, waving your pencil around as if it'd prove your point.

Mark scoffs at this, swatting your pencil out of his face. "I said it looked like a door handle, I never said it was a door handle. Basic English, Y/N."

A slight flame begins to burn in both of your glares, angsty puberty hormones starting to set into action.

"Oh yeah? Well I'm not the one who failed Engli-"

"Mark and Y/N! Stop talking or I'll make you stand outside!"

The sudden boom of your Biology teacher, Mr. Kim, prompts the two of you to immediately shut up, back to sitting as still as statues.

He glowers at the two of you for a moment before turning back towards the whiteboard, starting to explain about the day's topic.

"Sorry for calling you stupid." Mark mumbles quietly after a few awkward minutes pass by, softly nudging your arm. "I didn't mean it."

"I'm sorry for getting mad." you reply guiltily, patting his casted one in return.

"Wanna sign my cast after class?"

Your eyes light up with excitement and you nod readily. "Sure! Can I draw a star? How about a flower? Ooh, or maybe a-"

"Mark and Y/N, outside right now!"

Oops.

Spring, 2023. (24)

"Y/N, you're needed down by Ward 802, got a guy in with a broken arm."

You nod quickly in response and sprint off towards the said ward.

Having worked as a full-time emergency department nurse for the past year, broken arms had become the ordinary for you.

If anything, they were one of the easiest situations to deal with in the emergency department everyday. Well, as long as they weren't pierced through the skin, with blood everywhe-

Mark Lee?

You freeze in surprise when you tug the curtains open to see the all-too-familiar figure laying there, another nurse already working over his limp arm.

His head of curly, black hair turns to face the door, eyes wide like saucers the moment he sees you.

"Y/N?" he squeaks.

Your mouth dries up as your brain tries to calculate how long it's been since you've seen him, the start of him moving out of Canada for college slowly dragging your friendship apart till it seemingly no longer existed.

And now he's right back here in front of you, almost exactly the same as he was when he left.

"Mark? What are you doing here?" you mumble, stunned.

He chuckles dryly at this, jerking his head towards the direction of his arm. "I think you already know."

The nurse working over his arm sighs, shaking her head as the last roll of bandage wraps around his cast.

"Is he your friend? You need to tell him to be more careful," she scolds as she ticks something off a chart. "This is the third time I've seen him in here!"

Mark can only smile guiltily in admittance as the nurse leaves the ward, mentioning to you how a quick debrief on what to do with his injury will be enough to dismiss him.

"So," he starts, sitting up. "Long time no see! How have you been?"

"I need to tell you about your broken arm first." you interrupted sheepishly, holding up his X-ray. "Let's see. You've broken your ulna from here to her-"

Now it's Mark's turn to interrupt you as he gently pushes his X-ray away.

"Y/N, I've broken my arm like, over ten times. I know the drill." he insists. "How have you been?"

Looking right into his eyes, the countless years of lost contact and drifting friendship does nothing to your memory. His eyes were just as wide and sparkly as they were when you were kids, and his hair was still as dark as his bedroom when you slept over and exchanged secrets in whispered giggles.

"Hello? Earth to Y/N? How have you been?"

His question snaps you out of your thoughts, and the boyish glint in his intense gaze makes your heart skip a beat.

It doesn't help that your stupid little crush on him comes rushing back too, and you can only hope Mark doesn't notice the way your face starts to flush red.

"Well... I missed you." you started, voice trailing off as you avoided eye contact. "It's been years."

"What happened to your promises of calling and keeping in touch?" you asked quietly. A dull pain starts to settle in your heart as it recalls the days where light blended into darkness, and darkness blended into light while Mark was thousands of miles away.

Mark winces at your question, awkwardly scratching his head. "Well, can I be honest?" he mumbles, now focused on picking on a loose thread off his T-shirt.

Your head shoots up, nervous and excited to hear what's been holding your childhood best friend from keeping in touch the moment he stepped foot out of your home country.

"Yeah, be as honest as you want to."

Mark nods, taking in a big breath as you notice the tip of his ears turning red.

"Well, I really liked you." he admits, grinning sheepishly as he kept his gaze glued to the floor.

"And when I left Canada, I wasn't sure if I'd ever be back on a long-term basis, so I decided to just give up on you. I didn't want to act on an impulse and end up hurting the both of us."

You blink in surprise, the truth bringing a sense of relief and yet a slight sting of pain.

"But don't you think that completely not talking to me would hurt me too?" you suggested. "I really, really, really missed you Mark."

The shift in your tone prompts him to look up at you, his eyes glazing over when he notices your pink ones. He reaches out for your hands, and it takes you right back to the past.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to do with my feelings." he mumbled, eyes earnestly looking at you.

"Well, for the record, I liked you too, you know." you sniffled, brushing away a tear.

Mark sits up straight. "You did...?" he questions in disbelief.

You hummed in reply.

It was never anything serious, but Mark had your entire heart in the palm of his hands for those few years. You still remembered the times where his bright smile and soothing voice was all you could think about, squealing happily in your bedroom after each time you hung out together.

You bask in the bitter sweetness of the memories until Mark gets your attention.

"Well, how about now?"

"Now?" you echoed in disbelief.

Mark nods, doe eyes wide and staring into you so deeply that you squirmed shyly.

"I uh- I..." you sputtered, aware of the warmth rushing to your cheeks.

"We can get to know each other again first." he suggests. "What time does your shift end?"

You take a quick glance at your watch, glad for the break from Mark's intense eye contact.

"My shift ends in two hours. Maybe we can meet again some other day? I think you need to get some rest."

Mark shakes his head. "I'm fine! Don't worry about it." he breezes. "How about pizza after your shift? I can come pick you up."

You chuckle at his idea, gently nudging his casted arm.

"With this bad boy on your arm? I don't think you'll be able to do any driving for a while, Mark."

Stubbornly, Mark continues. "Then can I have your number? We can plan a date."

The word 'date' sends adrenaline rushing up to your mind, and your heart races as you fumble for your phone in your pocket.

"Wait, can you just write it down for me?" Mark interrupts.

"Sure." you agree, trying to play it cool as you pull out a marker from a nearby drawer.

You were expecting a piece of paper or whatnot, but Mark sticks out his casted arm instead.

"Huh?" you mumble, confused.

"Your number." he says casually. "Write it on my cast."

The scratch of the marker against the white bandage fills up the silence of the room as you do so, unlocking another core memory as you recall doing the same thing ten years ago at school.

"Remember when you signed my cast in sixth grade?" Mark chuckles, as if he had read your mind. "Kinda funny to see us doing the same thing ten years later."

You smile at his words, warmth blooming in your heart at the memory.

Maybe things will work out with Mark, even after all these years.

© neolovesneo, 2023.

[basicallywhiterice]

half-ripe feelings (johnny suh)

johnny suh x reader. 803 words

college!au. inspired by sour grapes - le sserafim

johnny wraps an arm around you as you nurse your ice cream, his eyes periodically flitting to the parlor door.

"sorry," he apologizes sheepishly, the thousandth time today, and you wave him away. it's almost comical now, how he happened to dive at the wrong angle during his volleyball rally on the green, how it happened during the 15 seconds you walked by. one volleyball to your shoulder later and you're here--it probably isn't even going to bruise, your wounded ego mending every second he focuses his attention on you. really, that is not the worst he can do. it would help if he would stop looking at the damn door.

"wasn't your fault," you remind, giggling despite yourself when he pulls you in closer. his smile is bedazzling; bewitching for perpetuity if he puts in an ounce more; casual just like the rest of him. you rant about your portfolio for next week's poetry competition and he listens. he jokes about his roommate's cooking setting off the fire alarm and you laugh at doyoung's misfortune. he pays for you long after your ice cream melts into a sweet puddle, and he holds your hand this time through the door.

the summer heat has faded into a breeze with less bite by the time you step outside. you're a few blocks away from the intersection where he can split to go back to his dorm, and you realize you don't know when you'll next see him, if this semester will be anything like the last.

is it worth a repeat? sneaking in to his much nicer room, sneaking out before the sidewalks crowd. round and round you spin on yourself while he rises with the day, easy as the leaves turning orange.

you wrack your brain for what to say to buy you more time to decide, and you decide on the nearest truth. "it was weird not seeing you in the library this summer. campus felt a little too quiet."

"really, you think so?" he beams at that, like he's been waiting for you to say it all along. "I missed you."

"missed you too."

and you did. so did he, but he missed a million versions of you--the conversationalist, the comforter, the convenient call. you missed only him.

that is the fundamental difference between the two of you, you think as he chatters in a comfortable lull; why he keeps coming back, why you keep letting him. no harm, no foul. you cannot alter the flow of time, but you can choose how to decorate it nonetheless, and you will be a lovely memory if he will be a good friend, you decide. lovely indeed.

at the stoplight, he turns toward your apartment's direction.

"i'll walk you back to your place," he says, smirk suggestive he might not leave. a good friend, you decide, and your smile is not nearly as brittle as your resolve.

"wow, doyoung kicked you out this early in the semester?"

his smile twinges a little, and you weigh apologizing--for what, you're not really sure--before he laughs it off, the sound a little forced. "yeah, he has one of our math friends over right now. it's just--we kind of got into an argument before this. she likes him, she deserves someone better."

the twist in his face twists your stomach a little. "someone better... like you?"

"no, what?" and he looks so perplexed, you feel a little dumb. "no, no, it's not like that. she was one of my first friends here. and--you know I love doyoung, but he's gotta get through this semester, work through some stuff first. she's, like, looking for a boyfriend, you know?"

you nod, and he's tense the rest of the walk back; you wonder if he said too much, if you said too little. i'm looking for a boyfriend too, you want to remind. but it's not his fault. it never is with him and you, you suppose. you've never had the nerve to tell him outside of the sound of your heartbeat when he's kissing you.

you invite him in, and he almost looks relieved, but he declines for the gym. and when you call out to him before he turns away, you decide to spare him the cognitive dissonance.

"you're a good friend. she's lucky to have you. doyoung, too."

he smiles at that, and you try to think of his smile when he leaves--not that you only know doyoung by chance, when he came back early spouting drunken poetry, mark on accident, brushing past him in a crowded doorway one morning; not that you will walk by him, day after day, and he will never run over this way ever again; not that you deserve better, when johnny suh could be better if only he wanted to try.

[nqctar]

✿ yuta nakamoto as your cg !

pairings: cg! yuta nakamoto x little reader. genre: sfw age regression, fluff. warnings: no major warnings apply. brief (non-sexual) usage of "daddy."

유타 / cg!yuta nakamoto x little reader ♡

dni: you sexualize age regression.

requested by anon!

so when you first told yuta about being little he was like

"hmm okay.." and left.

and you had no clue if he was okay with it or not.

but then he came back with like eight stuffies and a colouring book!

as a cg, he's more on the quiet/observant side.

lets you do your thing, and checks in on you if you haven't been yelling or making some other random noise in a while.

this does NOT mean he won't play with you.

yuta will absolutely have a tea party!!

you hand him a tiara to wear during the party & he starts smiling because of how cute you are.

takes the tea party seriously, maybe a bit too seriously.

"don't drink it yet, baby. it's still too hot."

if you're near/next to him, you're 100% gonna be holding hands or pinkies.

also really loves cuddling, sometimes he'll just pick you up no matter what you were doing & hold you.

very calm! doesn't get mad.

you're his baby, why would he get mad at his baby?!

this means you really never end up in time out, though all he has to do is give you 'the daddy glare™' and you're immediately done throwing a fit.

VERY protective of you, makes you hold his hand while you're in public, tells you to stop running even if you're just speed walking.

always has bandaids with him just in case.

did i mention that he loves cuddling?

gets you to slip into little space by being all-

"if only my little baby was here to cuddle me..."

& then you hide your face because of the nickname!!

makes you something before bedtime, usually hot chocolate

WITH EXTRA MARSHMALLOWS!!

if you end up falling asleep on him while you're on the sofa, he's definitely not moving

he doesn't wanna disturb his baby!

so he just wraps his arms around you and whispers an "i love you," while playing with your hair

oh & he always makes sure you have your paci before falling asleep!

thinks it's the cutest thing ever when you wake up with your paci and stuffie. teases you about it the next morning, which makes you blush and hide your face.

"why's my pretty little baby hiding their face, hm?"

"could it be... no! you aren't feeling shy, are you?"

you giggle and tell him to stop

as for titles you call him, he's fine with daddy. sometimes it's yuyu.

no matter what, you're his pretty baby :(( <3

[tyonfs]

stargirl interlude

PAIRING ▸ na jaemin x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut, influencer au, strangers to lovers

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, mc and her friends are a little shallow, tbh i wrote this because of jaemin’s tits, dirty talk, sexual content, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), kitchen sex, oral (m. receiving), oral (f. receiving), lowkey dumbification, body worship, ft. one night stand with jeno 

SUMMARY ▸ and i shouldn't cry, but I love it, starboy / i just wanna see you shine 'cause i know you are a stargirl

PLAYLIST ▸ stargirl interlude by the weeknd, lana del rey • alien superstar by beyoncé

WORD COUNT ▸ 5.9k words

TAG LIST ▸ @leeknowsredeyeliner​ @geniejunn​ @sehunniepot​ @jjaeyoonoh​ @subhyuck​ @jenoluuvvs​ @jaemboi64​ @otchae​ @n0hyuck​ @hyuckinx​ @domhyuckie​ @justhereforimagines​ @daegalfangirl​ @soobin-chois​ @lmkworld​ @baekhyuns-lipchain​ @its-taeil-time​ @produmads​ @kaislinging-slasher01​ @neomorning​ @learnthisfeeling​ @glitching-wren​ @carelessshootanonymous​ @thiccfullsun​  

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ jaemin is finally not an asshole. everybody say congrats jaemin.

THE WALK OF SHAME.

The distance from Lee Jeno’s apartment to yours was approximately 0.6 miles. If you walked fast enough, it would take you around ten minutes to get back home. Meaning, that was ten minutes spent doing the Walk of Shame at nearly three in the morning.

Of course, the whole point of being an e-girl was to keep up an unattainable internet persona. You wanted to be a star, and what better way than to weaponize your good looks? Your entire brand was posting revealing pictures of yourself on Instagram and Twitter, maintaining a “gamer girl” image. Sort of like Belle Delphine, but you hadn’t stooped low enough to start selling your bathwater to strangers on the internet. You were a lone flower on the edge of a cliff—so high up that no one could reach for your stem.

Except Jeno, apparently, after you caved and met him in person tonight.

You and Jeno followed each other on Twitter a few months ago. Despite attending the same college, you two hadn’t ever met in person before. He was a popular YouTuber, so there had been rumors flying around about his sudden interactions with you. Your influencer friends were trying to grill you for more information, but you sincerely had no idea where Jeno’s sudden interest in you came from. After you posted a picture of you in pink lace lingerie complete with Hello Kitty clips and pigtails, Jeno had finally slid into your DMs.

jeno: i’d rather spend the night with you

(In response to the caption on your post: spend the day with me?)

As one would expect, things escalated from there. Jeno was hot, you were horny, and he conveniently lived 0.6 miles away from you.

In short, you got good dick. Jeno started with one hand wrapped around your neck and the other snaking its way between your legs. You were satisfied, especially because the streamer didn’t try to dap you up after railing you on his gaming chair, the wall, and then his bed. You two made some small talk afterward, and then you headed home. Prince Charming could not be fucked to give you a generous ride back to your apartment.

You pulled out your phone to look at your face in the camera app. As expected, you were a mess, but you touched up your lipstick and blush with the few makeup products you stuffed in your purse. Then, you called your best friend, Lee Donghyuck, who had been flooding your friend group’s group chat with messages for the past hour.

“Dude,” you started as soon as he picked up. Donghyuck was in the middle of taking his headphones off to put his AirPods in, running a hand through his tousled hair. “Jeno walked me to the door and made me walk home by myself.”

“No fucking way.” Donghyuck laughed. “That’s what you get for hooking up with a guy who plays Val.”

Ah, yes. Featured on Jeno’s YouTube: streams of Valorant, League of Legends, and Overwatch. There were the occasional indie games he was requested to play, too. The only one you semi-watched and commented on was Little Nightmares.

“The dick was incredible,” you told your best friend, “but he’s not cuffing material.”

“Not like you care about cuffing anyone.”

“Yes, I do!” you objected. “I’m boyfriend-hunting, Hyuck. Think about how much attention I’d get if I started dating a hotshot influencer.”

“You should date Mark Lee, then. Everyone’s thirsting over those e-boy TikTokers now. Or maybe Liu YangYang. Heard his body count’s high as fuck.”

You rolled your eyes. “His body count’s high because no one goes back a second time. Plus, I think YangYang’s finally in the talking stage with someone.”

“Good for him.” Donghyuck yawned. “Anyway, I’m going to bed soon since I finished editing my Maldives vlog. I’m still pissed you didn’t come with us.”

You rolled your eyes. Donghyuck, Yoo Jimin, Choi Beomgyu, and Uchinaga Aeri had been giving you shit for backing out on the trip the five of you had been discussing for a few months. There were just too many things going on in your life at the time, so you told them you wouldn’t be able to make it before tickets were purchased. Of course, your absence made several of your followers question if your friend group had a falling out, but you all decided not to address pointless rumors.

“I’ll come along next time when I’m not broke,” you assured. “I’m at my apartment now, so I’ll talk to you later. Bye-bye, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck threw up a peace sign before hanging up. You tucked your phone in your back pocket as you tried to fish out your key card from your purse.

However, there was a problem: it was missing.

“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself, sitting down at one of the benches outside to dig through your purse. You swore you hadn’t taken it out, so it definitely wasn’t at Jeno’s place. The only possible explanation was that you dropped it on the way or left it inside your apartment.

Screw these auto-locking doors.

You were royally screwed.

Fast-forward to twenty minutes later. You were still sitting at the same bench. This time, your head was in your hands and you were shivering like a chihuahua. It was dark, save for the flickering streetlight above you. You had even resorted to texting Jeno, asking him if you could go back to his place and spend the night. It was downright embarrassing, but it was your last resort. Jeno, however, seemed to have been asleep due to his lack of response.

A guardian angel was sent your way, though, in the form of a cute but tired-looking college student with a bag of groceries in hand. Kind eyes, but he looked far too exhausted to smile genuinely.

“Do you need to be let in?” the boy asked, gesturing toward the apartment entrance. He had his key card in hand, and you nearly jumped to your feet.

“Uh, yeah, but…” you trailed off. Even if you accepted his offer, you wouldn’t be able to get into your own room.

He handed you his brown Essentials hoodie he had draped around across his shoulders. “Cold?”

You wondered if your shivering or hard nipples gave it away. Surely, it had to be your nipples showing through the skimpy one-piece you had on. You never would have dressed like this if you knew Jeno was going to make you walk home yourself.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, taking the hoodie from him and slipping it on. It fell past your thigh and smelled good—a non-offending mix of pine and detergent. “Uh, but even if you let me in, I can’t get into my room. I lost my key.”

“Oh.”

You folded your arms across your chest. The boy beside you ruffled his fluffy brown hair, and you were wondering why he hadn’t gone inside the building yet. Maybe he was waiting for you to find some other place to go, or maybe he wanted his hoodie back.

“Have you tried asking the RA?” he asked.

“I can only get a card replacement in the morning.”

“Can your roommate open the door?”

“Don’t have one.”

“Got a friend who’ll let you stay at their place?”

“Asleep.”

“Significant other?”

“I’m single and my dick appointment made me walk home alone.”

You didn’t realize how bitter you sounded until you saw the shocked look drawn across the boy’s face. You felt sorry for dumping that on him, but you were getting way too frustrated about your lack of options. You didn’t even have a roommate you could call for help since you opted for a single.

He cleared his throat before shyly offering, “Uh… I guess you could stay at my place for the night, if you want. I can sleep on the couch.”

Your cheeks heated up. You were no stranger to random kindness from men, but perhaps you were just grateful for his proposition since you were running low on options.

“That’d be great,” you said. “Thanks.”

You followed the boy into the apartment building. He introduced himself as Na Jaemin, an animal science major in your same year who was president of a club that raised guide dogs for blind people. It was comforting to hear, so your anxiousness over this stranger luring you in to murder you in cold blood was slowly letting up.

He unlocked the door for you, letting you into his apartment first. You looked around to see a quite ordinary looking living space with a few posters and polaroids hung up on the walls. There was a border collie curled up in a dog bed in the corner of the living room, and Jaemin was being extra careful to make sure he didn’t accidentally wake him up.

He set the plastic bag down, which you found out was dog food that he picked up from a friend. It definitely made a lot more sense than him shopping for groceries at three in the morning.

“You live alone?” you asked for the sake of making small talk.

“My roommate graduated a semester early,” he replied. “I’ve been living on my own, just like you.”

“Doesn’t it get lonely?”

He turned the question back to you, asking, “Do you get lonely?”

You shrugged as you sat down on his couch, sitting stiffly at the edge of the cushion. “When you get so much attention online, you kind of need the privacy.”

“Oh, I see.”

No more questions asked.

Jaemin retreated into his room for a moment before returning with a pillow and blanket in hand. He tossed them beside you on the couch and met your gaze.

“Bed’s ready for you whenever,” he said. “The bathroom’s inside my room, if you need to use the shower or anything. Let me know if you need any clothes to sleep in.”

Your face was heating up like a furnace, but you were glad he couldn’t see how his words were affecting you. You flushed with embarrassment when you noticed Jaemin’s eyes flicker past your neck. He probably thought his gaze went undetected, but you noticed. Suddenly, all you wanted to do was pull his hoodie high enough so that the hood hid the hickies Jeno left across your skin.

“I can just use your hoodie,” you replied. “Thanks.”

Jaemin managed a small, tired smile. You took that as your cue to get out of the living room so that he could pass out in peace. So, you headed into his bedroom and stared at his tidy bed, wondering if he had frantically fixed his sheets for you.

Since you already felt like you had asked for too much, you decided to skip your nightly shower and head straight to bed. It was hard to sleep in a stranger’s bed, though—no matter how pretty he was.

You were used to kindness. It normally came in a package deal with being attractive. Bees flocked to honey; humans flocked to beauty.

This feeling, however, wasn’t something you were used to. Genuine kindness with no ulterior motive was almost foreign, which was upsetting to admit. You weren’t sure how to sort out your feelings, but all you knew was that Jaemin’s eyes had stars in them, and you were tempted to lose yourself in them.

You woke up to an empty house.

Even the dog had abandoned you.

To be fair, you weren’t exactly an early bird. You woke up at around 10:30 a.m. naturally, and then spent an extra thirty minutes trying to muster up the willpower to get out of bed. Of course, you spent that time updating your group chat on your whereabouts.

gigi: 15k isn’t that insane?

gyu: holy shit gyu: you have to do it

karibear: gigi i will literally kill you and then resurrect you to kill you again if you don’t

gigi: check out the deliverables tho gigi: [File Attachment]

hyuck: instagram story highlight? the fuck? hyuck: a tiktok should be enough. more people check tiktok than ig now anyways lol

gigi: right???

karibear: OK BUT FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS

y/n: just caught up. I think you should do it for the $$ gigi

gigi: GIRL where have u been

gyu: i told you she probably overslept

gigi: BUT I SEE HER LOCATION ON FINDMYFRIENDS gigi: SHE IS NOT HOME

y/n: i may or may not be in a cute guy’s apartment

karibear: shut the fuck up

y/n: stop he’s REALLY cute y/n: dare i say cuter than jeno

hyuck: stfu ur kidding

gyu: well?? did you sleep with him? gyu: give us all the details

y/n: no i couldn’t find my key after coming back from jeno’s and was locked out of my apartment y/n: so this “na jaemin” appears and lets me sleep over at his place for the night  y/n: he took the couch AND let me sleep on his bed y/n: jeno could never

gyu: aww that’s actually rlly sweet

gigi: can’t find him on ig ://

karibear: no social media presence?? karibear: idk if that’s hot or a red flag

hyuck: probably both 💀

y/n: um good thing red’s my favorite color

karibear: omfg karibear: do u actually wanna fuck him karibear: send us a picture of what he looks like

y/n: idk if he’s even interested in me like that y/n: but idk i also want my internet famous trophy boyfriend :( y/n: idk if this guy even has a social media presence  y/n: still a starboy in my heart tho <3

hyuck: keep your eye on the prize bbyg hyuck: fame is fleeting so milk it while you can

You figured Donghyuck had a point. You were an internet celebrity (to some extent), so, in terms of marketing, it would be wise to push the “unattainable” image you cemented. Dating someone equally as unattainable would make you look even more desirable.

However, you were starting to lose all rhyme and reason when you walked out of the bedroom to see a plate of eggs and toast waiting for you on the kitchen counter.

A post-it note was right next to it, reading: I’m out walking the dog. I made you some breakfast if you’re hungry but you don’t have to eat it. Door auto locks so just make sure you close it whenever you leave. Here’s my phone number if you need anything. +82 x-xxxx-xxxx - Jaemin

You decided to update your group chat.

y/n: change of plans y/n: i’m making starboy mine

When Jaemin returned home shortly after you discovered his note, you were sitting on his couch, knees tucked to your chest as you forked down the waffles he made. Before you even looked up to greet him, you heard his dog yapping excitedly, hurrying over to sniff you.

“Oh, you’re still here.” He looked genuinely surprised, though he didn’t object. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, really well,” you admitted. Curious, you tilted your head and let your lips curl into a knowing smile. “Are you high?”

Jaemin stiffened up. “Uh, a little. Is it that obvious?”

“I just noticed your eyes look sort of dazed.”

You hadn’t expected it, but he almost sounded embarrassed to be caught. “I’m not like a… a full-on stoner or anything.”

“Hey, no judgment,” you replied, holding up your hands in surrender. “I was just gonna ask if I could get high with you, too.”

After visibly relaxing, a more confident grin dawned on Jaemin’s face as he handed you his pen. You couldn’t help but feel smug as you accepted it gingerly.

About a couple hours later, you and Jaemin were blazed out of your minds. He had offered you an edible shortly after you took a hit from his pen, and it kicked in an hour later for you and Jaemin. There were no words exchanged for a while, but then you two started to converse, although you couldn’t trust that anything you were saying made sense.

You weren’t big on flirting. It was a skill you only put to use when absolutely needed, and this was one of those instances. You figured this was the perfect opportunity to get close to Jaemin. Even though you could tell he was a really, really great guy, and you didn’t want to rush things with Jaemin, there were a few factors that were making you throw your morals to the wind.

For one, you were high and getting incredibly horny.

The other factor was that Jaemin was the hottest man you had ever seen (and you had encountered a lot of attractive men).

“So,” he started, “you’re, like, an internet celebrity? Like a TikToker?”

“I started on Twitter,” you explained, “but, yeah, I’m famous on TikTok, too. But there’s a good chance you’ve never heard of me.”

“Really? Why?”

“I’m known for more, uh”—you let out a nervous giggle—“risqué stuff, if you wanna see.” When he nodded eagerly, you took out your phone and opened Twitter to show Jaemin your account. Right off the bat, there was a mirror selfie of you in lingerie and cat ears. Because you were feeling bold, you added, “And the guy who made me walk home alone? He’s a famous YouTuber named Jeno.”

Something seemed to click for Jaemin when you mentioned Jeno’s name because it was the only thing that snapped him out of whatever trance he was in. He had been looking at the photo of you so intently that you were wondering if he was checking you out or spacing out.

“I think I’ve watched some of his gaming videos,” he said before handing your phone back to you. “He just… kicked you out?”

“Pretty much. At least he made me cum once.”

“Just once?”

You held your breath for a moment. With those two words, Jaemin made the atmosphere all the more tense, and you felt like you two were suspended in time. Although you weren’t sure if he said that to challenge Jeno or not, there was still a strange implication in his words. It left you wondering if Jaemin could treat you better.

“Yeah,” you replied in a quieter voice. “Just once. With my help, too.”

“That’s fucked.” Jaemin reached for his pen to take a long, slow drag. He held it in his lungs for a moment before he parted his lips to blow the smoke out. “And you dressed up so pretty for him.”

Either Jaemin was a secret dark horse when it came to smooth talking or the weed was making him horny, too. Whatever it was, his comments made your cheeks burn.

“I bet he’d be pissed if he found out I ended up in your bed after.”

The animal science major flushed at your words, growing even more shy when you giggled at his reaction. “I mean, I guess so, but we didn’t, like… I mean, we—”

“I was kidding,” you assured. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t say that unless something actually happened.”

Jaemin nodded quietly, falling back into silence for a while. You were worried that you had made the conversation awkward, so you sunk back against the couch and willed yourself to come down from your high. Maybe the weed was a bad idea. Maybe you were just getting ahead of—

“So, you wouldn’t be opposed if something were to happen?”

The question took you off-guard, and you had to process Jaemin’s words for a few moments before you sat up to look at him. There was no shame or shyness drawn across his face this time. Just pure curiosity. (And perhaps a hint of longing which was most likely brought on by the weed.)

You shook your head with a hum. “No, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I think you’re cute. You seem really sweet, too, like letting me sleep over and making me breakfast.”

Jaemin smiled brightly, beaming ear to ear before he ducked his head shyly. You were surprised that he was so sheepish given his godsent looks. He had to have heard these compliments about a million times now. There was no way you were the first person to recognize his looks.

“I’m not good at this,” he admitted.

“Good at what?”

“Um, hitting on girls,” Jaemin said. His hand flew to rub the back of his neck as he added, “Cute girls.” After another beat, he let his head hang and then let out a groan. “Sorry, I don’t have a filter when I’m high.”

“Jaemin,” you cooed, scooting close enough so that your knees were touching. You placed your hand on his thigh, which made him finally look you in the eyes. “I’m pretty bad at flirting, too, so I hope this is working.”

The corner of his lip hitched up, amused. “Yeah,” Jaemin murmured, his eyes unfocusing as he leaned in close, “it’s definitely working.”

Your nose brushed against his experimentally before Jaemin pressed his lips to yours. It was gentle and innocent, but then Jaemin turned his body to face yours, and his hands started roaming your body. Your waist, your back, your hips—not an inch was neglected while he felt you up. You let slip a hum of delight, and that encouraged Jaemin to slip his tongue past your lips.

He didn’t use too much tongue, which you appreciated. There was something too sloppy about guys who used too much tongue, but Jaemin had an excellent balance between precise and hasty. And he did this thing where he would pause to suck on your tongue and then your bottom lip, which you really appreciated.

You let a whine slip, and Jaemin gripped your waist tighter. You figured he wanted you on his lap, so you threw one leg over his thigh and straddled him. It was like you were in a trance with how receptive you were, and you only wanted more when Jaemin pulled away to kiss down your neck. After minutes of nipping, sucking, and relishing your whimpers, he was satisfied with the bruises littered across your skin.

Jaemin seemed frustrated by how big his hoodie was on you, so he tugged at it until you pulled it up and over your head. After discarding it to the side, his lips found yours immediately after. The pads of his fingers slipped past the hem of your shirt to dig into your skin, pulling you flush against his body.

You were sure you could kiss him for hours, but your attention was slipping away when you felt his boner underneath you. The very least you could do was offer to help him out.

You pulled away to catch your breath, and your voice was no louder than a breath when you offered, “Let me suck you off.”

Jaemin blushed a little, and you bit back a smile because how could someone be so forward and cute? He was not innocent in the slightest, but he somehow got flustered so easily.

His voice came out strangled when he said, “Please.”

You carefully peeled off Jaemin’s shirt, admiring his muscles as you revealed his bare skin. He had to work out regularly to get a build this good, but you didn’t expect him to be this ripped. It was almost second nature when you started kissing down his chest, smiling when you heard his happy sigh.

When your kisses reached his stomach, you started tugging at the band of his sweatpants. Jaemin carded his fingers through your hair to keep you where he wanted to, and you were pretty sure all his blood was rushing to his cock with how much bigger he got. You tugged his sweatpants down to his knees and kissed up his strong thigh, looking up at him through your lashes. You wanted Jaemin to know just how drunk you were on his body.

Jaemin helped you tug down his boxers, too, and you swallowed hard when you saw how huge he was. His cock sprung up, and you were almost worried that you wouldn’t be able to take all of him in. While you were tying up your hair, Jaemin gave his shaft a few pumps, rubbing his thumb across the precum that beaded his slit.

A few strands of your hair got in your face, so Jaemin brushed them back and held your hair in his fist, undoing your ponytail so that he could tie back your hair properly. He looked down at you expectantly, cradling your jaw while you were mentally preparing yourself to take him. You flattened your tongue and ran it along the side of his cock, licking right where his vein was. Jaemin let out a groan almost instantly, and you looked up to see his eyes burning molten hot with desire.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he growled, gripping the back of your head.

His cock was throbbing, aching for you to take more of him in. So you slid your tongue over his head before hollowing your cheeks to suck him in. Jaemin gritted his teeth and tilted his head back, muttering some profanity that only encouraged you further.

You went slow at first, drawing out each bob of your head so that you got used to his size. You couldn’t go all the way down on him without his head hitting the back of your throat, making you gag a little before you started to properly take him down your throat. Jaemin started thrusting his hips into your mouth, urging you to go faster. You weren’t sure if that meant he was going to cum soon, but you sped up regardless.

“Fuck,” Jaemin rasped out, watching you with absolute admiration in his blown-out eyes, “I’m gonna cum.”

His grip on your hair loosened, as if he was ready to let you pull off of him, but you looked up at him with a mischievous glint in your eyes while you sucked harder. You wanted him to cum in your mouth, and he seemed to get the message because his moan was cut off by his orgasm.

You continued to suck on his cock while he came, swallowing without hesitation. Jaemin thrusted shallowly inside your mouth, his husky moans making you pull off him to lick a long stripe down his length.

The two of you just stared at each other for a moment, catching your breaths and watching each other’s chest rise and fall. Then, Jaemin leaned in to cup your cheek and kiss you once more. He didn’t even care that he was tasting himself on your lips, but he just needed more of you.

“Let me return the favor,” he said once he pulled away. Before you could respond, Jaemin scooped you up in his strong arms. You held onto his biceps, gasping when he held your bottom firmly. “I promise I’ll make you feel really good.”

Jaemin set you on the cool granite surface of the kitchen counter, and you were glad that he kept the place clean. You would have felt gross if it was any other man, like Jeno’s grimey kitchen counter littered with dirty dishes, but you were too wrapped up in your own lust to care about moving to Jaemin’s bed.

Being high made you so sensitive that every touch from Jaemin left you trembling. As he undressed you, you couldn’t help but shudder and gasp whenever his fingers brushed over a sensitive area. He seemed to take notice, which you observed by his small smirk. As soon as Jaemin got rid of your garments, leaving you naked, he sucked in a sharp breath.

“Gorgeous,” he praised, leaning forward to take your nipple in his mouth. He sucked on the supple skin eagerly, making you moan and grab at his shoulder.

You let out a gasp when Jaemin grabbed your other breast in his hand, squeezing firmly and running his thumb along the nipple. After he decided he showed your chest enough attention, Jaemin started kissing down your stomach until he reached the apex of your thighs. He trailed kisses along your pelvis, peppering more along the top of your thighs, and you used your elbows to balance your weight on the counter. You were surely going to collapse if he kept going.

“Jaem,” you whined, “don’t tease.”

He smirked as he parted your legs even further, humming inquisitively at the sight of your soaked cunt. He lifted both of your legs and settled them on each of his shoulders, and you sucked in a sharp breath to prepare yourself.

Jaemin dipped his head and ran his flattened tongue along your folds, and god, you were floating high up in the clouds.

After some strokes of his tongue, Jaemin stiffened his tongue to lick deeper, parting your slit so that he could ravage your cunt. You couldn’t do anything but cry out his name, begging for more and more. Your engorged clit was soon aching for attention, and you became a complete mess as soon as Jaemin’s lips found your little ball of nerves.

Soon, Jaemin was holding your hips down as he ate you out like a man starved. You had never experienced pleasure so intense, and you were finding it hard to believe that the meek boy you met last night was this bold. Your fingers were tangled in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer even though his face was practically wet with your arousal.

“I-I’m close,” you breathed out, and your hips were struggling to grind down to meet Jaemin’s tongue. You wanted more—no, you needed more.

“I know,” he whispered against your thigh, and before you could beg, he snaked his tongue in your entrance, allowing your walls to clench and unclench around his hot muscle.

He used his fingers to rub your clit in small, tight circles, all the while eating you out so vigorously that you couldn’t even think about anything except Jaemin. How good he made you feel. How lucky you were to be under him.

You were drowning soon after—drowning in utmost bliss. A toe-curling orgasm shook your body, leaving your back arching against the kitchen counter. You couldn’t even process how loud your moan was until Jaemin was shushing you gently, abusing your clit throughout your orgasm while his other hand was clamped over your mouth.

“Shh,” he cooed, almost mocking you. “The walls are thin, doll.”

You nodded, looking up at him with glazed-over eyes. You just needed to focus on anything to keep you at bay, to keep you from being pulled under the current of your climax.

“Gonna carry you to the bed, okay?” he told you, and you nodded without a second thought, letting him princess carry you to his bedroom.

As soon as he laid you down gently, Jaemin leveled his cock at your entrance, running his head along the folds of your cunt. You were already exhausted from your previous orgasm, but you were still eager to feel Jaemin inside of you.

“I’ll go slow,” he assured, teasing the tip of his cock inside you so gently that you were about to fall apart. You had no more than an inch inside of you, and your walls were already clenching hard around him.

Your eyes rolled back when he pushed deeper inside you, and then soon he was bottoming out, and you could feel his thighs pressed against yours. The cry that left your lips and the groan that escaped his nearly sounded like a melody in your eyes. Each wave of pleasure made you feel like you were traveling light years past several galaxies. Stars pinpricked your vision, but you could make out Jaemin’s face among the collisions of supernovas.  

“I can’t,” you whimpered, unable to form proper, coherent sentences. “Fast—go faster.”

Something primal glinted in Jaemin’s dark eyes, and started ramming into you while holding your hips tight. His head dipped to ravage your neck, kissing and sucking as he pleased while his cock hit that perfect spot that made you see white spots in your vision. You felt a ripple of pleasure shoot under your skin.

And something else must have snapped in Jaemin because he started spewing absolute filth in your ears, and lord, was it making you lose your mind.

“I’m the best you’ve had, aren’t I?” he asked with brimming confidence, opting for sharp and precise thrusts.

You half-nodded, your cheek pressing against the pillow as your nails raked down Jaemin’s back. But Jaemin didn’t appreciate your lack of words.

“Come on, Y/N,” he pressed, “say it.” He pressed his lips to your ear and nibbled on the shell. You squirmed when you felt his hot breath fan your neck. “C’mon, I haven’t fucked you dumb already, right?”

You managed to cry out, “Y-yes, Jaemin! I’ve… I’ve never felt this good.”

He cupped your cheek and rubbed gently with his thumb, smiling down at you so kindly that it felt condescending. “Yeah? You gonna cum for me, then?”

You felt those ripples of pleasure intensify, and soon they were rising to a crescendo. You felt like you were being split apart on Jaemin’s cock, and it didn’t help that he refused to slow down before you orgasmed. You bucked your hips against him, eager to chase the pleasure that was just in your reach.

And, after Jaemin pressed his lips against yours, all of the stars in the night sky collided and exploded into nothingness.

You felt your orgasm tear through you, immobilizing you with blinding pleasure. You gasped and gripped the sheets tightly, praying that you could hold on for dear life. Jaemin slowly fucked you through your orgasm, your clenching walls bringing him to pull out of you and let his cum spill onto your stomach.

Jaemin let out a shaky sigh of contentment, and he quickly returned to your side without giving himself time to recover. Instead of basking in post orgasm glow, Jaemin aided your ongoing climax by rubbing your clit in slow, torturous circles.

“I got you,” he crooned, pressing gentle kisses to your cheeks. “I got you, doll.”

You were a whimpering, moaning mess underneath him, and you couldn’t think of anything but Jaemin as you writhed. After a few more aftershocks of pleasure (all thanks to Jaemin, of course), you finally started returning to your senses. It was possible that Jaemin had actually fucked you dumb.

He hurried to his feet to clean you up. It was a stark contrast from how he acted in bed, but your heart melted when he made sure you got enough water before he tucked you in bed. No guy had ever taken his time with aftercare for you, so you were starting to feel like being kicked out of Jeno’s apartment was a stroke of luck.

Later, he moved to lay down next to you, kissing the top of your head as he slid in. You wrapped your arm around him and you two were eventually a mess of tangled limbs.

“Can I stay?” you asked, somewhat nervous that he would ask you to leave soon.

“Of course,” he replied, easing your nerves with a gentle smile, “you can stay for as long as you want.” You cuddled close to him, burying your face into his chest, and then you heard him ask, “How do you feel?”

You smiled. “Like a star.”

[jaeyunverse]

the death hoax

pairing: na jaemin x fem!reader

genres: superhero/supervillain au

wc: 1060

warnings: profanity, mentions of death, jaemin and y/n are morally grey characters (??) but i’m not sure if that’s how they can be described

summary: na jaemin was supposed to be dead, except he’s standing at your door with a favour he wants to ask of you.

note: this was originally written for enhypen but i thought of switching things up!

masterlist

“Aren’t you supposed to be dead?”

“I’ll die after I cash in that favour you owe me.”

Rolling your eyes, you opened your door wider and allowed Na Jaemin to come inside. Noticing the large suitcase rolling behind him, you raised an eyebrow.

“Is that why you’re here?”

He didn’t answer immediately, instead taking his sweet time to survey your apartment. Appearing satisfied, he turned to face you and said, “Kind of. You don’t seem surprised to see I’m alive. Why?”

“Because I know you wouldn’t die at anyone else’s hands,” you answered and plopped down on your couch. “I know you want me to kill you someday.”

He blankly stared at you for a moment. Then, a mischievous smile broke out on his lips. “True.”

“Besides,” you said, surfing through Netflix to find a good movie to watch. “Your cover story was horrible. No way did Torch manage to burn you alive. He can’t even wash his ass properly.”

“Maybe my fake death would have been more believable if you hadn’t faked yours first,” Jaemin pointed out and took a seat beside you. Removing his shades, he continued, “You’re the only superhero capable of beating me. Our battle would have gone down in history as one of the greatest.”

Averting your gaze from the television, you glanced at your nemesis to find he was already looking at you. “Electricity manipulation versus elemental control,” you mused. “I can’t lie, I’ve seen better in movies.”

“Well, there’s my immortality and your self-regeneration to consider too. I can’t die, and you can’t be killed. That would have made one hell of a fighting sequence.”

You paused, thinking about it for a moment. “Yeah, you’re right. We could have made BuzzFeed’s Top 10 of the Century.”

“Top 3.”

“Now you’re just pushing it.”

Jaemin gave you a pointed look to which you shrugged. Sighing, he said, “I won’t beat around the bush. I’m here to ask you for sanctuary.”

“You wanna live with me?” you deadpanned.

“Till I can find a new planet to move on to, yeah.”

He must have seen the uncertainty on your face because he clarified, “I don’t want to stay on Earth anymore. My home is gone and there’s little one can do to make the next several thousand years of their life more interesting. Exploring the universe to search for ways to strip myself of my immortality seems to be a productive way of spending my time.”

“You got bored of terrorizing Earth so you copied me and faked your death. Then you came to my house so you’d have a place to stay while you planned the remainder of your life and hunted for ways to die. Did I get it all right?”

“I can’t possibly plan my entire life; it’s too long. All I want to do right now is decide what my next destination should be. Hopefully, it’ll lead me to the weapon I seek. And if you’re still alive by the time it comes into my possession, I’ll return and you can deliver the death blow.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m flattered, but you know what I mean.”

“Come on, Y/N, say yes,” Jaemin urged. “You owe me a favour.”

You eyed him skeptically and weighed your options.

Lee Jaemin, better known by the public as Thunder, was a supervillain. You, Phoenix, on the other hand, were a superhero. He was an immortal from a planet that had long been destroyed by extraterrestrial forces which were now extinct, while you were just a human (okay, part-human) from Earth.

Under normal circumstances, the two of you would have been arch nemeses. He was the bad guy who had to be defeated, and you were the representation of all that was good.

Except, you didn’t want to be good. Being gifted with powers wasn’t something you had asked for. Much to your displeasure, you’d been given the responsibility to protect the human race against all sorts of evil from the moment you showed signs of elemental control and rapid self-regeneration.

Over the course of your work, you’d realised not everyone was worth saving. Faking your death to escape your duties may have been completely selfish, but you didn’t give a flying fuck. You’d done enough.

Besides, the other superheroes could take over for you—Torch, apparently, already had.

Lee Jaemin had proved to be an unlikely ally. During the times he wasn’t causing havoc, he was a fun person to be around. He seemed to share a lot of your notions and views—something you’d found rather shocking at first.

No one except you knew the truth about him. As far as the world was concerned, he was just an ill-fated super from Earth who had lost his way.

“Before I say anything,” you began, “why did you fake your death? You could have just disappeared.”

“Closure,” Jaemin replied. “The residents of your planet needed to know I was gone for good. I didn’t want them to wonder when I would come back—to fear the kind of horrors I was planning in my absence.”

You snorted. “Weird to see you being considerate after causing so much pain and suffering.”

“No.” Jaemin’s eyes darkened. “I never wanted to hurt innocents. They were just casualties. Sacrifices for the greater good.”

This was definitely not part of the many notions you shared. “Maybe that’s what the people who invaded your planet thought,” you bit back. “Maybe they thought your kind was just an obstacle standing in the way of their greater good. Maybe that’s why they had no qualms exterminating everyone you cared for.”

Jaemin’s jaw clenched, electricity beginning to cackle at the tips of his fingers. “Do you or do you not accept my request, Y/N?”

You stared him down. “On one condition: you take me with you when you leave. I’m done here.”

“I’m not forming the fucking suicide squad. Besides, you’re only human.” If he was surprised, he didn’t show it. “You won’t make it.”

Letting a small smirk tug the corner of your lip upwards, you answered, “Did you forget what you said, Jaemin? I can’t be killed. You’ve witnessed the things I’m capable of. If there’s anyone who can make it, it’s me.”

Jaemin tilted his head to the side. Scrutinized you. Thought about the pros and cons of bringing you along.

“Deal.”

[pearlesscentt]

home

jaehyun x reader, 773 words, fluff

nights like this, you want nothing more than to forget about the day you’ve had and sleep peacefully in the comfort of your boyfriend’s arms. however, nothing has been on your side at all lately. so there you were in the living room, the fleece blanket draped on the backrest of the sofa was soft against your cheek as you stared through the window. 

scenes from earlier that day played in your head as you continued to watch the city ahead: from the alarm that didn’t ring, your phone that was only halfway charged because it got unplugged the night before, the coffee you spilled on your supervisor’s shirt then the fear of losing your job tomorrow shortly followed, your forgotten umbrella when it rained, the team dinner that you were forced to attend ending a little too late, and the long, exhausting bus ride home.

it was 2:37 am, and the sparkle that filled the cityscape from hours ago was long gone. You were watching an unremarkable view with nothing but grey and fluorescent lights. with a sigh, you scanned the room around you. 

the record player perched on the ikea side table caught your attention, it still had the roberta flack and donny hathaway record on it. it was from a couple of nights ago when you and your boyfriend, jaehyun, were dancing and giggling to it as the both of you were preparing dinner, you smiled at the memory. then you remembered the weekend the both of you moved in: him calling out to you from the kitchen to show you a sloppy ‘i love you’ written on the cupboard with a paintbrush before covering it with sage green paint, and you, replying with an even sloppier heart on the living room wall that was soon covered in eggshell white. 

an overwhelming feeling filled up your chest and the heaviness on your shoulders weighed down on you. there was the restlessness from the day but it was being overcome with a sense of relief that you get to be in a place like this, so you let the tears in your eyes well up. this sight will never get old and you will always love coming home to every little thing in here, no matter how long of a day you’ve had.

you were unsure of how long you’d been sitting there when the creak of the bedroom door distracted you from your thoughts, it was followed by soft footsteps. you bit your bottom lip to suppress a sniffle and quickly wiped your cheeks with icy hands.

"i'm sorry, did i wake you?" you croaked.

"just got cold," he mumbled.

"come here." you reach your arm out to him as he took a seat on the spot next to you. his chestnut hair was so disheveled that it resembled a bird's nest and you couldn't help but smile at the sight of it. "i'm sorry for waking you up."

he pulled you into him with a gentle tug. "there's nothing to apologize for," he whispered against your hair.

the knots of tension on your shoulders started to unravel as jaehyun started to trace circles on your skin, so you closed your eyes and let yourself get engulfed in the warmth of his arms. all the worries and pent-up exhaustion melted away with every beat of his heart that you could hear and feel underneath you. it was soft and steady. it meant comfort and assurance.

you wanted to apologize again for everything — for not being able to sleep, for waking him up, for making him feel cold, for the flood of tears, for this sight that you never intended for him to see — but he just held you. his touch unwavering and certain, telling you that it's okay, that he's there with you, that there's no need to hide because you're home.

jaehyun is the familiarity of the song humming from the record player sitting atop the side table he spent all afternoon trying to build. he is the serenity of the sage green kitchen cabinets and the lightness of the eggshell white paint on the walls. he is the fleece blanket haphazardly thrown on the sofa, always there within arm’s reach ready to keep you warm. you weren't sure how he did it; how he managed to take the forms of all the things that remind you of home.

but there you were at that moment, with all the exhaustion of your previous days and the uncertainties of days to come, irrevocably and undeniably sure of one thing — that if home was a person, it would be him.

nct masterlist | navigation ── reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated !

© 2022 PEARLESSCENTT. please do not steal my works.

[winwintea]

Blame it on my Disney Wish! WayV Series (hiatus)

PAIRING ▸ wayv x fem!reader 

GENRES ▸ romance, fluff, crack, angst, acquaintances to lovers, disney park au, college au

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, sexual jokes, alcohol consumption, chenle gets bullied a lot, kun also gets bullied a lot, everyone gets bullied a lot, 

SUMMARY ▸ kun takes the boys to disney world, funded by his sugar daddy chenle. however none of them were prepared for you to tag along, more or less even be affected by that cliche disney magic. but hey, maybe dreams really do come true? 

TAG LIST ▸ at the bottom (send me an ask here if you’d like to be added! + those tagged will be in the tag list of all chapters of this series!)

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ welcome to my first ever fic? this is a “choose your own route” kind of series, so no need to read in order! i’ll be updating one chapter at a time, finishing off all chapter 1’s before i move onto the chapter 2’s. this originally started off as a crack fic idea that turned into a romance. thank u for taking the time to indulge in my silly fic. i’m very into disney parks so this was very fun to write. PLEASE ALSO READ THE PROLOGUE BEFORE READING THE CHAPTERS!

PROLOGUE

▸CHOOSE YOUR SUITOR

▸ QIAN KUN

01. lover’s quarrel 

02. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

03. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

04. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

▸ TEN

01. walking is for losers

02. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

03. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

04. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

▸ DONG SI CHENG

01. never beating the ‘fainting princess’ allegations

02. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

03. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

04. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

▸ WONG KUN HANG

01. please stop lore dumping

02. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

03. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

04. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

▸ XIAO DE JUN

01. 2 idiots 1 braincell

02. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

03. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

04. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

▸ LIU YANG YANG

01. google search: wikihow to look cool in front of a girl with pictures

02. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

03. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

04. [CHAPTER NOT FOUND?]

[noramoons]

renounced | x.dj

summary: your life as the eldest child in the royal family is simple: follow everything you’ve been told, without complaint. the game is easy—until you meet xiao dejun, who shows you that you may not have to play their game at all.

pairing: prince!xiaojun x gender neutral!royal reader

genre: angst with a happy ending (?)

wc: 4k

rating: T/15+

warnings: unspecified time period, historical inaccuracies, brief mention of religious analogies, implied suggestive content, language, not proofread (😧)

a/n: happy xiaojun day! :D (me, finishing a fic on time?? 🤯🤯) hope u enjoy this little one-shot. i’m sure there are MAJOR historical inaccuracies for the politics depictions in this - feel free to leave any feedback or concrit you might have!

This is the last time.

It's like a mantra. You repeat it to yourself, over and over, starting the sentence over with every other stairstep you reach.

This is the last time. It has to be.

Of course, you said that the last time, too.

Prince Dejun has been a fixture in your life for nearly as long as you can remember. And for a long time—you hated remembering.

His family's kingdom had brought yours to the brink of annihilation in war—a long, terrible, stupid war that your nation had been comically unprepared for. The Xiao family had industrialized their military years before your father's generals even began to think about the idea, studying and honing in their technological advances to the point that when they finally brought their army to your doorstep, your father had no choice but to kneel. Can it really be called war if the other side never even stands a chance?

You had hated Xiao Dejun, then. Hated the very idea of him and his entire family. Hated that they had been so generous as to allow your family to stay in their palace for a month while yours was being rebuilt, him and his brothers running through the halls with gleeful abandon while you and your younger siblings had to restrain yourselves at all times. You always had to be poised and patient, silent unless spoken to—the perfect guests for who you saw as little more than your captors.

It was several years later before your father's advisors began whispering again, hushed murmurs that gradually tumbled their way down to your eavesdropping ears—not of war this time, but of the future. Of building future alliances with the very nation that had nearly decimated your home.

And you, as the eldest child, were the perfect sacrificial lamb.

You had felt just as much, too, the night of your first outing with the prince. You would be supervised, of course, but you still found yourself unable to shake the feeling as the servants dressed you quietly, whispering to each other when they thought you couldn't hear. Like they were preparing a stuffed pig for a feast.

You'd dreaded every step down the main stairwell of your newly rebuilt home, clinging to the marble railing that you were sure was just as cold and unforgiving as the prince waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs (Completely unlike the way you are currently racing up a flight of stairs, heart growing lighter with each step).

You had been surprised, then, when Dejun had taken your gloved hand in his—it turned out he was warm flesh and blood, after all.

He'd engaged in perfectly polite, yet expected small talk all throughout the main entryway and into the gate outside. It wasn't until you reached that first step outside, the furthest you'd been away from home in months, that he had squeezed your hand and dropped his voice into an octave that sounded much more familiar to the Dejun you had seen briefly in his home.

"Do you trust me?"

You were taken aback by the question—but you certainly weren't a liar. "No."

He'd laughed at that—a light, airy sound escaping past his lips that you thought had no right to come from a devil. "I thought as much. I would've been surprised if you'd said so." Something glinted in his eyes. "Can you give me a chance to change your mind?"

What on Earth was he talking about? The two of you were only supposed to wander the gardens until dusk—that was what your governess had said. "Why would I do that?"

A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth—you thought, for an absentminded moment, how seemingly perfect his teeth were. What a strange thing to notice. "Because it'll get us away from the eyes of your governess." 

Your own eyes widened. "What are you talking about? I—" I hadn't even noticed she was out here, you'd wanted to say. You had spun around, looking intently for somewhere she must have been hiding—she couldn't have been that inconspicuous if Dejun had noticed her already.

He'd squeezed your hand again, warm fingers still intertwined with yours. "I spoke with the stablehand before coming to call on you. He said he would leave a horse tied just outside the gates." He paused. "It's up to you, of course. Your Highness." He dropped your hand only to cross it across his chest in a mock serene bow, and you had bit onto your own tongue, hard, to keep a laugh from escaping you at the sight.

You had tried to weigh the consequences in your mind, but the thought of freedom was just as alluring as it always had been under the watchful eye of seemingly everyone else in the palace you'd grown up with. Even if it came with a price of momentary companionship with Xiao Dejun.

"We..." you had started. "We have to be back by sunset. No later."

He had grinned and taken your hand, running with you close behind, helping you mount the horse when you did, in fact, find one tied just outside the palace gates—and giving you the first taste, if only for an hour, of what real freedom might feel like.

You were chased down by your governess and a slightly bruised stablehand before the sun had even begun to set, but you and Dejun had talked, lying on your backs in an empty field miles away from the palace, for what felt like hours. It was then that you learned he cared practically nothing for politics, that he had no plans to be king the way his father had ruled. You discovered, through a series of conversations, that he wanted so much more for his life—to not be tied to something he hadn't chosen for himself. You'd never forget for the rest of your life how his eyes shone that evening, how they sparkled as he listened to you, and how he talked about the life he wanted with such excitement. He wanted to learn how to walk across a trapeze, or become a traveling musician, to sail across the world with a band of pirates—he wanted to at least have options. To be able to choose something for himself, something that was only his.

That glass facade you had built in your head of him shattered. He was so, so much like you, in every way you had never imagined.

Your governess gave you an earful when you were dragged back to the palace that night, but you could barely find it in yourself to care. Dejun had planted a dangerous seed in your brain—the idea of getting to choose.

While your father wasn't entirely pleased with the events of your first outing with Prince Dejun, his advisors still believed it would be a beneficial match for the future of the kingdom—so you were allowed to continue your courtship with the prince.

With every meeting, you found your affection for the worldview he had given you growing. You were allowed to let yourself want for the first time. You wanted the ability to choose what you did with your life. You wanted to see what the rest of the world looked like outside of your room in the palace.

You wanted Dejun. And he wanted you, too.

But perhaps that grasp of freedom was something you didn't deserve. After all—at the end of the day, there wasn't truly any aspect of your life's path that you chose yourself. Even the idea of freedom was ludicrous. Everything was preordained for your life by the same gods (who you had been told since birth) that had put your father on the throne—to say or do otherwise was simply unthinkable. Heresy. A refusal of everything you had been put on this planet to do.

It had clearly been too long since you had any reminders of that fact—and so your father's advisors, moods changing like the tides of the ocean, provided you with one.

Your kingdom and the Xiaos found themselves in a trade standoff—the Xiao kingdom had the grain your kingdom so desperately needed after his soldiers had burned your farmlands down to the soil, but your father's advisors refused to pay what the Xiaos were demanding. They could get grain and cattle at a much lower price from the Qian kingdom to the south—not nearly as militarily advanced as the Xiaos, but a longtime ally of your father's, and a royal family with a son your age.

One too many insults were exchanged between families over tense negotiations—and so your courtship with Dejun was called off. Replaced with a hurried engagement to the prince of the Qian family, a man you'd never met.

And yet—you couldn't burn the roots of what Dejun had planted in you. Now more than ever, you wanted that freedom Dejun had promised you. You wanted the ability to lash out about this choice made for you, to scream at your uncaring father who only saw you as a political pawn to be used for the betterment of the nation.

But what could you do? You had been raised in a calculating way—everything you did was politics. Every choice you made was a stepping stone for your future—and not just yours. The future of your family, your lineage, your nation rested on your shoulders as the next in line for the throne. Who were you to just cast that aside? Run away with nothing but the hope Dejun would follow you? Would he follow you?

There was still a positive outcome, albeit a small one—you learned that while your relationship with Dejun had been broken for you, your kingdom's alliance with the Xiao family was not entirely lost. It was damaged enough to not want your families permanently intertwined, but not enough to go to war again—or more importantly to your circumstance, not damaged enough that their invitations to your family's yearly galas with the surrounding kingdoms had been rescinded.

A full year passed by the time your family hosted another gala, and it took all the self restraint you had mustered within you to not rush across the ballroom and hold him impossibly close to you when you finally, finally locked your gaze onto Dejun again for the first time in a year. You saw the way his eyes lit up when he saw you from the top of the staircase—the same way you had seen them shine all those years ago, when he had first introduced that damned idea of freedom into your stupidly impressionable mind. You wondered if anyone else in the ballroom could hear how loud your heart was pounding.

It took almost the entire evening, dancing with several other princes and high-ranking officials (the ones your advisors had informed you to charm for potential future alliances) before you were finally able to drag Dejun out of the ballroom, unnoticed, and into a nearby corridor.

You stared at each other for a moment. Then two.

Dejun whispered your name, as if saying it too loud would shatter the moment you've given him.

"I've missed you," you said. Ever the careful, political one—you'd ached with how much your mind and soul had missed Dejun, but you couldn't tell him that. What if he didn't feel the same? What if he didn't want to be seen with you, now that you were engaged to someone else? What if—

He leaned across, cupping your cheek in one hand and pressing his lips to yours in one singular, fluid motion.

Once again—Dejun had presented you with an opportunity you hadn't even thought of yourself. You had seen a door at the end of a hallway and thought it to be the only exit—and Dejun had shown you how to escape through a window.

The next two years of galas were the same—on one night a year, you'd entertain guests for hours, dancing until your feet were sore and mind swirling as you tried to remember everyone's name and affiliation and rank. None of it mattered once everyone retired to their guest suites, preparing for a long day of travel tomorrow, and you were free to slip away and spend the long hours of the night, unnoticed, with Dejun.

Each time, you heard a rock at your window as you were preparing for bed, and each time, you knew what it meant. You'd look outside to see a shining pair of eyes in the darkness, holding a single candle and beckoning you to follow. You'd end the evening as far away from the palace as you could get, tangled in Dejun's limbs underneath the moonlight, the two of you only pulling your cloaks back on and hurrying back in giggles when the first rays of morning sunlight were beginning to rise.

It's what you're doing now—heart racing as you ascend the final stair and make your way to the balcony before you. But this time will be different, you know. It has to be.

You're getting married next month to Prince Kun. You should have cut this tryst off before it even began—you know it will only continue to cause you and Dejun both heartache and suffering. And from what you hear, his own father's advisors have been hard at work finding an engagement for Dejun. It won't be long before you're both encumbered with marital duties.

All of this is at the tip of your tongue to tell him—and then he turns around from the balcony railing.

The moon frames his dark hair like a halo, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he sees you walking towards him—and oh, gods, how could you ever tell him anything of the sort? When he's running a soft hand through your hair and he's pulling your lips to his, when you're closing your eyes against him and letting him glide a hand down to the small of your back and press his chest to yours—when you're tasting freedom on his lips, how could you ever take that away? 

But the thought still haunts you when you're lying on your back beside him, miles away from the palace and watching the stars glitter in the sky above you. You know why neither of you have discussed the fact that you're engaged to Kun, that you'll be living in a palace in an entirely different kingdom after next month. Admitting that you need to have a discussion, after all, feels like admitting that this has to end.

Dejun stirs beside you—you had thought he was asleep. You turn on your side to look at him.

He smiles when he sees your face, and you can't fight a smile from tugging at your own lips. How can you give this up? "This is it," he says, suddenly, and you feel your stomach lurch—of course he'd be the one to acknowledge this. "Isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" you say, quietly—but the quiver in your voice betrays that you know his meaning all too well.

Dejun reaches across and intertwines his fingers with yours, bringing your connected hands up to his lips as he kisses each fingertip. "Did you want to never discuss it? To lie with me here, and then never see me again?"

You frown. "Of course not. But I don't exactly know how—"

"Run away with me," he says suddenly. "They'll never find us. We can go to the ends of the earth."

You laugh at how abrupt he is. "They'd find us, Dejun. Your father owns the greatest military in the world, and my father has spies on every inch of this continent. We'd never make it across either border."

He's insistent. "We have to try. I told you, all those years ago, that I want to be able to choose something for my life, something that's only mine. It's you, Y/N. I don't care where we are or what we're doing—I can't stand to be apart from you anymore."

His words strike your heart like daggers, but you still shake your head slowly—grabbing the hilt and driving the daggers in further yourself. "It's too late. Don't you see? It's not just my family that's depending on my choices now—the Qians are too. I can't turn my back on this anymore by just running away."

"And who decides that?" He shoots back. "None of this has been up to you. Don't you think you deserve a chance to choose a life for yourself?"

You don't know why it's never occurred to you before. It's a fantasy—all of this. Ever since the moment your courtship with Dejun was called off years ago, you've been in a child's delusion. The real world calls now, with all of its accompanying rules and responsibilities—you have no place allowing yourself to stay in this illusion anymore. There has to be another universe, a different life where the two of you were smart enough to never do anything this stupid, but it isn't this one. There's no substance to you and Dejun. "And in that life, I would do what? Continue to be a once-a-year tryst to you? Do you..." You take a sharp breath. "Do you love me, Dejun?"

He looks like you've stung him with your words—maybe you have. "You know how I feel about you, Y/N, I—"

"Can you say it?" Part of you is screaming internally for giving him an ultimatum like this, for probably ripping away the only respite you've ever had from your life in a cage—but you know that if you don't do it, it'll be done for you. Just like everything else.

"I..." he trails off, and you find yourself utterly afraid for what he might have said—because it might have convinced you.

And then he inhales again. Clenches his jaw. "Goodnight, Y/N."

Your heart sinks, but you swallow down the self-induced disappointment. "Goodnight, Dejun."

You don't think either of you sleep much that night. You watch the sun rise on the horizon hours later—beautiful, cheerful shades of pinks and oranges that are a perfect contrast to the knots of worry you can feel brewing in your stomach.

As you and Dejun hurry back (in silence) to the south side of the palace, you begin to slow at the gate behind the gardens. In the past, you've always stopped here to say your goodbyes before heading back into the palace on your own separate ways, as to not arouse suspicion.

Dejun never stops. He never even begins to slow down his walking pace. Instead, you watch him walk past you, through the gardens and into the side door into the scullery—and now you really can't shake this feeling that you've made a massive, unchangeable mistake.

You remember how much you once hated him—how to even hear the name Xiao Dejun made your stomach twist. Now, you think, you'd give anything to hear his name announced in the same room as you. And it may never happen again.

The month that follows your engagement with Qian Kun goes by in a blur. The wedding preparations, the attire, the food for the guests—it's all chosen for you, anyway, so why should you care? You silently mourn the loss of all things good and routine in your life that you'd come to cherish before—including Dejun.

The wedding itself is a different experience—mostly because you don't feel like you're even really there. Everything is just as you had rehearsed the day before; your father walks you down the aisle in full royal regalia. You stand beside Kun and recite your perfectly memorized vows. You touch your lips to his.

It’s a game, all of it—and you’ve been told every move to play.

You don't eat much at the reception, and your new husband seems to notice. He asks if you're not feeling well, if you need to leave early—and as much as you know you need to stay to keep up appearances, to maintain the alliances your father's advisors have so carefully crafted for you with this marriage—you can't help but nod yes.

Kun is too kind for his own good, you think. He briefly shows you around the royal wing of your new home, where you'll presumably be staying for the rest of your life, before opening the door to the bedroom at the end of the corridor. You expect him to follow you inside, so you're surprised when he moves to open the door again to leave.

He turns around, a small smile of understanding on his mouth. "I'll see you in the morning, Your Highness. When you're feeling better." He hesitates for only a brief moment before adding, "You don't have to keep up appearances around me. I hope you know that."

You don't know that, in all honesty—but you smile and nod gratefully anyway.

You let yourself sit in the silence of your room for a long while, comfortable with it in contrast to the loud reception you can still hear ongoing downstairs. You think about calling for help on undressing out of your royal wedding attire, but the thought of being alone is still far more appealing, even if it takes you an hour to get out of all these layers.

You've only undone two buttons when you hear a thump on the floor, right below the open window. It's a rock, you realize in disbelief as you bend down to take a closer look. You hold it under the candlelight, and you finally recognize the familiar scrawled ink across the surface.

I love you.

You lean over the window, heart pounding so loud you can hear it rushing in your ears—and you see him. He hasn't even dismounted from the horse he must have ridden to the castle on, one hand still clutching the reins, other hand waving in the air to catch your attention.

Dejun's face lights up when he sees you, and you suddenly feel that same lightness in your chest the instant you see it. Like you'd never even left his side.

You grab the candle on your nightstand and bring it by the window to see him better, and it's then that you begin to hear what he's been saying—not yelling, thankfully, to ensure any wedding goers won't hear. But you don't even think you'd mind now, as you lean further out of the window and finally hear it from his own lips.

I love you.

You think about what he said only a month ago, an echo of the things he'd said to you when you were younger. That you deserve to choose.

You think that while there is a lifetime where you were smart enough to never do anything this stupid, there must also be another where you are brave enough to run away—to be in love, to choose with your own mind to leave behind everything you've known for each other. For something that you both know would last.

Maybe there's a part of you that thinks that lifetime can be this one—that they're one and the same. That some part of you still longs to be that foolish, and that brave.

You cup your hands around your mouth and call down to him—your answer to tonight's unspoken question.

I love you too.

a/n: feedback is always welcome through reblogs, comments, and messages 💛 thank you sm for reading!

taglist: @petrichor-han @kangroo-chan @ot7lonelylover @lilacdreams-00 @mainexiii @awkwardnesshabitat @lotus-dly @elizabeth11moreno @nerdysl-t @seung-scrittore

[stayshineee]

Forget Me Not

pairing: bf!mark x f!reader

genre: angst

words: 680

a/n: hey guys! i was feeling a little angsty so here's a oneshot after a long break :)

What do people hear when they die? Is it the waves crashing on the shore? Or is it bells chiming in the wind? Or do they hear nothing at all?

The first thing I remember hearing is a voice singing. I'm not sure what song it is but I can feel an overwhelming sense of comfort, as if I'm being wrapped in a warm hug. Home. The voice feels like home.

Then as quickly as it appeared, it vanishes. I look around and all I see is white. I blindly attempt to move forward but no matter how fast or long I run, I don't budge from where I am.

Suddenly, the scene changes and I hear the voice again. Only this time, he's standing in front of me and calling out a name.

"Y/N! Y/N! haha come on stop that tickles hahaha! Y/N! "

Y/N? Who's Y/N? Why does my heart feel heavy hearing that name?

I'm sure he's still laughing, I can hear the mirth in his voice but I still can't see his face. I rub my eyes, yet when I open them he's still faceless as before but now I can see him walking on the beach, dancing in the rain, and nodding his head to the music from his headphones. It's strange.

The more the images, the more I feel like an intruder. As if I'm a stranger watching the highlights of someone else's life on repeat. And yet the sound of his laughter continues, as though he's telling me it's okay to watch.

All of a sudden, there's a loud crash and everything stops.

Silence.

And then I hear the screaming and crying. The sounds of despair cut through the silence and sends chills down my spine. My stomach churns and my ears ring. Then I hear the voice again. Only this time, it isn't laughing.

It's crying.

"Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! Nurse! Doctor! Somebody get the doctor! She's waking up!"

I slowly open my eyes but quickly shut them again. Why is everything so bright? Slowly, I blink my eyes open and look up to see shadows hovering around me.

"Ms. L/N ! Y/N L/N, can you hear me?"

I slowly look up to see a man in a white coat looking at me. He lets out a relieved sigh, as if he's happy to see me. He tells me that I am in the hospital because I was in an accident and have been in a coma for a 3 months.

3 months? I've been asleep for that long? My chest tightens as I register the gravity of the situation and I feel the tears pricking at my eyes. However, before I can succumb to the turmoil stirring within me, two arms wrap around me.

"Y/N I 'm so glad you're okay, I was so scared that you wouldn't wake up. I missed you so much."

The voice is shaky, as though he can't believe I'm here sitting in front of him. He hugs me tight, like he's scared that if he lets go I'll disappear.

After a couple of seconds, he pulls back and I finally get a look at him. His hair is as blue as the ocean. He's gazing at me so softly, and he's smiling, as though I handpicked the stars and put them in the sky. When I peek closer, I can see the unshed tears shining in his eyes.

I can feel his hands on mine, firm and soft. Gently stroking them, as though I'm the most precious person in the universe. Carefully, I pull my hands out from his.

He freezes and shoots me a worried glance.

"Y/N, what's wrong? Is something hurting?"

I look at the boy in front of me and see a complete stranger. With no recognition in my voice, I whisper.

"Who are you?"

Silence. I gaze around the room and see everyone staring back at me with shock. Then a boy with soft brown hair and pink highlights comes forward.

"Y/N, that's Mark, your boyfriend. You've been dating for 4 years."

xoxo

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