#not tagging as aaanti daaanzo ^^ that's implied in the last two tags

[n0-n1c]

Talk about Danzo pls teehee >:3

shimura danzo: ✨ the greatest villain who never got a therapy talk from naruto because he was sasuke's to kill ✨

ground rules:

"canon" is whatever. some anime fillers (like kakashi in anbu) are widely accepted as canon. there are also novels and later reveals i don't care about

nothing about the uchiha massacre makes sense because it's full of retcons. we could probably have several separate conversations despite everyone being armed with "sources". i'm not talking about it.

i shall not talk about a certain character who fills me with rage. you can guess who it is by their peculiar absence in this discussion

danzo didn't exist in part one of naruto. many important things weren't thought out (jinchuriki as a concept, most akatsuki members) which i don't blame kishimoto for. naruto is a serialized shonen manga after all. where was he during the konoha crush? probably sitting underground and weathering the metaphorical storm. the raikage's accusation that danzo was in kahoots with orochimaru and planned the crush together is very conspiracy-brained. there are so many reasons why it's just wild... why wasn't he scrambling for the hokage seat after hiruzen kicked the bucket? because he didn't exist. next question.

he was made as a foil to hiruzen, long after hiruzen left the story by getting shinigami'd. no, they weren't teammates, you're remembering that wrong. they were just rivals. tobirama's team had sarutobi hiruzen, mitokado homura & utatane koharu (aka the two old people who keep badgering tsunade). they happened to be on the same mission when tobirama gave up on democracy & got killed by a furry. their relationship is mainly hiruzen letting danzo get away with stuff. (the assassination attempt is anime-only.) here comes the problem: part one hiruzen is styled as a kind, wise, universally beloved grandpa who loves everyone in his village. part two is a failure who couldn't even take care of naruto the boy. i call this the dumbledore effect. the further and more serious you go, the more sinister this old figure becomes. is he manipulating our young hero? why didn't he stop this or that horrible thing he had to have known about? ...we were talking about danzo, right? well his bestie hiruzen let him have a whole anbu branch (with an evil underground lair). root also doesn't make much sense. another rant incoming? if your morally corrupt friend swears that his secret personal army is totally disbanded, you're an idiot for trusting him. don't blame danzo for root without dragging hiruzen to hell with him. oh wait. [different self-destruct seal activates] they won't be together even in hell!

i'm running out of breath but trust me, there's so much more 🔥🔥🔥 i just have to put it in readable sentences.

last time on danzo hour (previous post in the tag)

next time on danzo hour(s):

double standards

weaponized body parts and related ethics

shonen logic in ninja world

(*shudder*) ...powerscaling

anyone: feel free to send more asks, just prepare for slow answers because this is an art blog first (& something of a portfolio)