#nothing to it when you know what you're queueing...
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daydreamgoddess14 · 2 days ago
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The Reading Rooms
Previous weeks Masterlist
Always remember to heed the warnings posted by the individual authors. What I'm happy to read may not be what you're happy to read, so I take no responsibility if you find something you're not into.
And finally, Tumblr is a community. Reblog, gush like you've never gushed before - I promise you, the authors below will love it, and love you for it! We write because we love to, but we share our work because we love the community of it. If you read something you like, let the world know! 💕
The List
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Another busy week! Handed in my assignment - nothing like the last minute, right?! Posted TWO new chapters of Strategic Interests and a spicy one-shot - I'll Do That Thing based on a gif I couldn't stop watching (you can blame @sunday-bug for that one!) which completely blew up. Fun! I'm currently working on Strategic Interests chapter 7, For Your Consideration - January Part 2 AND another spicy one-shot. Apparently it's a new thing where I write sex acts I've never written before. Why not, it's good to try new things! 🤭
I also read some amazing stuff this week, and thanks to @azriona, I discovered how to properly use the queue so I can stop clogging up ya dash when I'm on a reblogging spree!
Bucky Barnes
It's been a Bucky week.
The Celibacy Challenge by @sunday-bug was so much fun, I too would have to nope out of every room and I would cave SO fast 😅
I'm SURE I'm behind on reblogs for Declassified but Chapter 12 landed just as I needed something to read before bed last night and it was AMAZINGGGG!!! My love for Kelsey is only challenged by my need to shake her right now, @dreamwritesimagines!
Sergent's magic mouth by @buckyseternaldoll. Please. Anything. I'll give anything. Also by Elle,
I love it when @societyfolklore blesses us with a short and sweet bit of filth. So good to us 🙌
@navybrat817 said the words 'Bucky is hot and fucks like a God' and we all nodded with our entire bodies - Back It Up
@buckysleftbicep wrote a dad's best friend Bucky fic and... good god, it's so hot - daddy's best friend. As was little black dress, clearly I am feral this week. I feel like I'm gonna look back on these lists and go, whooooh yeah that was a horny week, y'know?
In fact, I'm sticking with Lily here, I realised I accidentally reblogged a reblog - so sorry, love. Swipe Right was so, so quietly beautiful 😭
@whitedarkmoonflower gave us the gorgeous Good morning and I would like to incorporate that and also Sweet Surrender into my morning routine please and thank you.
Saturdays with Bucky would be a dream. ngl. Loved this @buckybarnes82!
The Desperate to Devoted series by @buckets-and-trees was amazing!!
I will always rescue you by @firelilyfox was super sweet and lovely!
Happy Father's Day by @wildflowersandvibranium - this was the most adorable Father's Day everrrrr!!! Bucky is SUCH a girl dad, you cannot convince me otherwise!
The Suit Problem by @salty-tang - this was so hot and yessss, I can definitely see him ripping through those suits!! I've added the masterpost to my reading list AND it's so good to see another Congresswoman fic! 🙌
She Looks Nothing Like Me @writing-for-marvel - as a curvy girlie, I really felt this one! So, so lovely 🥹🥹
@buckybarnesfic BBF wrote their first fic!! About a stuffed dick!! Go read it, you will NOT be disappointed!!
A smutty talk you through it by @crowsofdarkness - no notes, just me begging, actually.
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Ok, I've been neglecting my longreads - the 8/9/10/11k(+) fics that are all sitting in my drafts begging to be read. I've also just rescued a bunch of fics out of my likes so I can get to those for next week!
Phew! LFG!
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supes9 · 10 months ago
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"I'm gonna take that promotion, I guess."
"Well, engineers have their bad days, too..."
🚨 SUMMER OF 51’s (2024) 🚨            ⮑ Day 16:  Change Your Mind
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doodlingwren · 10 months ago
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Hiatus
I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.
Thank you for your patience ❤
Wren
#EDIT: I've deactivated my IG for a bit because it wasn't helping at all. I'll be back there but I need time#wren text tag#somehow issues from mid July/early August have managed to get worse. Like I'm not even surprised bc I'm used to it but GIRL . What the fuck#“it's finally summer”+“can't wait to draw!” * gets 3 hiatus in a row * maybe drawing or summer isn't really meant to be 🤨🤔#I hate having to log-in to post a hiatus message and then dissapear again when I'm supposed to post my doodles n have fun#Feels like one of those jesters that appears at luncheon to entertain the royal court and then they go missing for the rest of the month#bc I'm trying very hard not to hide in my shell + having a bit more presence here to post my artwork#and somehow I fail at both like fucking heck. How can you be so bad at this.#but in short I won't be here to answer stuff and being silly or whatever people expect me to do#because if you're here for the silly stuff. MAN. I'm am sorry but I don't feel silly at all.#Somebody once said “the horrors are never ending yet I remain silly” but I forgot the “remain silly” part#And if you're here for drawings. I don't even have time and I don't feel like drawing at all. Idk which one is worse#The bakery hangs up the “closed today” so people know they have to go to buy bread somewhere else. Same here. But it won't last a day#idk why the bread analogy. Guess I'm a birb after all#this is also the closest thing to a vent post I will ever write and I managed to say nothing at all. Vagueposting about vent. Good job Wren#tw: vent#tagging in case somebody like me needs to have some tags filtered#the hiatus will go on also a bit longer because the last few weeks my mental health suffered a lot and I know my limit#also this post was queued. If I see I can still be active before publishing I will delete it otherwise see for yourself#also queue doesn't work ig like I programmed this for 9 pm hopefully it will be up by then and not any other random time
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rhalgrsrightfist · 5 months ago
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ᴛᴀɢ ᴅᴜᴍᴘ 𝟏
☀⊱••• ⸺ dys an sohm in,rohs an kyn ala na! ⧼ ooc ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ bow down,overdweller! ⧼ submission ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ (hear) answer (look) answer (think) answer together. ⧼ answered asks ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ children of the land,answer this: ⧼ ask prompt ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ gobbies gonna rise up,boom like thunder! ⧼ promo ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ broken,faded,how long have i waited. ⧼ queue ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ come and play,for the night is bright and you can sleep when you're DEAD! ⧼ dash games ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ we are the dreamers. ⧼ dash commentary ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ pa-paya,paya pa-paya paya pa-paya! ⧼ crack ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ rise with me,rise with me,rise with me (RISE UP!) ⧼ self-promo ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ i'll be your idol,your only one. ⧼ video ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ o wide open midnight sky,please carry my voice aloft. ⧼ my art ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ oh i have awaited you patiently all this time; past every fate. ⧼ closed starter ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ foward and back and then forward and back and then go forward and back,then put one foot forward! ⧼ thread ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ for this journey's end is but one step forward to tomorrow. ⧼ thread end ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ flee from what you do not see. ⧼ dni ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ our song of hope,she dances on the wind higher,oh higher! ⧼ music ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ one brings shadow,one brings light; one more chapter we've yet to write. ⧼ wip ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ in monochrome melodies,our tears are painted in red. ⧼ art ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ come play with me,darling; you'll bе surprised! ⧼ open starter ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ deep inside we're nothing more than scions and sinners. ⧼ introspection ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ authors of our fates orchestrate our fall from grace. ⧼ one-shot ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ thou must live,die,and know. ⧼ psa ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ well come and well met,my brave little spark. ⧼ pinned ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ good king moogle mog,good king mog! ⧼ meme ⧽ ☀⊱••• ⸺ silent steel breathing,breathing. memory writing,reading. ⧼ saved ⧽
#☀⊱••• ⸺ dys an sohm in,rohs an kyn ala na! ⧼ ooc ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ bow down,overdweller! ⧼ submission ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ (hear) answer (look) answer (think) answer together. ⧼ answered asks ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ children of the land,answer this: ⧼ ask prompt ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ gobbies gonna rise up,boom like thunder! ⧼ promo ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ broken,faded,how long have i waited. ⧼ queue ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ come and play,for the night is bright and you can sleep when you're DEAD! ⧼ dash games ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ we are the dreamers. ⧼ dash commentary ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ pa-paya,paya pa-paya paya pa-paya! ⧼ crack ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ rise with me,rise with me,rise with me (RISE UP!) ⧼ self-promo ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ i'll be your idol,your only one. ⧼ video ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ o wide open midnight sky,please carry my voice aloft. ⧼ my art ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ oh i have awaited you patiently all this time; past every fate. ⧼ closed starter ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ foward and back and then forward and back and then go forward and back,then put one foot forward! ⧼ thread ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ for this journey's end is but one step forward to tomorrow. ⧼ thread end ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ flee from what you do not see. ⧼ dni ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ our song of hope,she dances on the wind higher,oh higher! ⧼ music ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ one brings shadow,one brings light; one more chapter we've yet to write. ⧼ wip ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ in monochrome melodies,our tears are painted in red. ⧼ art ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ come play with me,darling; you'll bе surprised! ⧼ open starter ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ deep inside we're nothing more than scions and sinners. ⧼ introspection ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ authors of our fates orchestrate our fall from grace. ⧼ one-shot ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ thou must live,die,and know. ⧼ psa ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ well come and well met,my brave little spark. ⧼ pinned ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ good king moogle mog,good king mog! ⧼ meme ⧽#☀⊱••• ⸺ silent steel breathing,breathing. memory writing,reading. ⧼ saved ⧽
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kaiyunsim · 4 months ago
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serendipity —
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pairing : spider-man!jake x gn!reader
summary : a late night studying session with shinyu results in a weird stalker following you home… but wait, he’s webbed to the wall..? by… SPIDER-MAN? what’s even weirder is that you find yourself running yourself running into the hero more often and begin to see some similarities with… jake sim?
warnings : FLUFF, very very oblivious reader, jake is SUCH a loser here (i crave a loser bf guys… he’s just a nerd), jake is popular, shinyu as a friend of the reader
a/n : omg everyone thank @writhyv for getting me back to writing for jake ! ALSO for getting me to write a hot loser jake (i love it very much) GIFT FOR HIM !! thank u pook ilysm.
queueing… : serendipity - laufey, sweet - cigarettes after sex, safety zone - leehi, blue - kai (not yung kai)
— wc : 7.5k — not proof read —
jake sim is the kind of guy who could ruin your entire life without even trying.
he’s the hottest person you’ve ever seen in real life. like, actually hot. perfect hair, perfect smile, broad shoulders under whatever hoodie he always throws on like he didn't just accidentally win the genetic lottery. he’s popular in the way that feels effortless, always surrounded by people who seem to orbit around him like he’s some kind of sun.
the whole school loves him. teachers, athletes, the kids who sit in the back of class and never talk. jake sim could probably trip and faceplant in the middle of the hallway and people would still clap for him.
the only weird part is that he’s also… kind of a loser.
you don’t really know him, just know of him. he’s in a few of your classes, close enough to be a familiar face but not close enough for either of you to actually talk. if anything, he’s just background noise in your life, one of those people who exists on the edge of your universe without ever really crossing into it.
except sometimes, every now and then, you feel like he’s acting a little… strange around you.
not that you think too hard about it. probably nothing.
the first time it happens, you don’t even clock it as anything weird.
it’s in english class, some group discussion where nobody’s actually talking, just pretending to think really hard about the book none of you actually read. you’re flipping through the pages when you feel someone staring.
you glance up, and there he is. jake sim.
he’s sitting diagonally across from you, elbow propped on the desk, eyes locked on you like he’s trying to figure out the meaning of life or something.
you blink at him.
he blinks back.
and then, like he just got caught committing a crime, he whips his head down, pretending to scribble something in his notebook with the intensity of someone writing their final will and testament.
...okay. weird, but whatever.
the second time, it’s in the hallway between classes.
you're digging through your locker, minding your own business, when you hear someone clear their throat behind you.
“uh—hi.”
you turn around.
jake sim is standing there, clutching his textbook like it's a lifeline. up close, he's even hotter, sleeves pushed up to his elbows, hair falling into his eyes.
he's also… kind of red in the face?
“hey?” you offer, confused.
he opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, then immediately shuts it again.
“never mind,” he mutters, spinning on his heel and walking away so fast you'd think the hallway was on fire.
...what the hell was that?
it keeps happening.
little moments that should probably add up to something if you actually paid attention, but you don’t, because jake sim is jake sim, and you’re just you.
he stumbles over his words when you ask to borrow a pencil. drops his entire water bottle when you accidentally brush past him in class. one time, you catch him fully tripping over absolutely nothing when you make eye contact with him across the cafeteria.
but for some reason, your brain just files it all away under wow, popular guys are weird sometimes and moves on.
if anyone ever asked you what you think of jake sim, you’d probably just shrug and say he’s nice.
you don't know that he’s been in love with you since sophomore year.
you don't know that every time he tries to talk to you, his brain completely shuts down.
and you definitely don’t know that the same guy who turns into a stammering mess around you spends his nights swinging across the city, cracking jokes and saving people as if confidence is something that comes built into the suit.
the third time you actually talk to him is in chemistry class.
the teacher pairs you up for some experiment, something involving measurements and burning stuff, and jake ends up at your table, tapping his pen against the notebook like he’s trying to act casual.
"can you pass me the beaker?" you ask.
he freezes.
his eyes flick to the beaker, then to you, then back to the beaker like it's a bomb he’s been assigned to defuse.
"...yeah," he says, voice cracking on the single syllable.
you don’t think anything of it, just reach for the beaker when he hands it over. your fingers brush against his, and he drops it.
it clatters against the table, rolling onto the floor with a loud clink.
"oh."
jake looks like he wants to melt through the floor.
"it's fine," you say, bending down to grab it. “at least it didn’t break” you joke to lighten to mood.
he doesn't move, just sits there gripping the edge of the table like it’s the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth.
you offer him a small smile when you straighten up, placing the beaker back on the table.
"chill," you joke. "it's not that serious."
jake visibly short-circuits.
"chill," he echoes, like it's the first time he's ever heard the word in his life.
if someone told you jake sim had a crush on you, you’d probably laugh.
guys like him don’t go for people like you.
guys like him date cheerleaders or instagram models or the kind of girls who know exactly how to flip their hair and laugh in that effortless, pretty way.
not people who half-ass their homework and accidentally fall asleep during history lectures.
definitely not people who would rather have deep conversations on rooftops than go to parties.
but what you don’t know is that those are all the exact reasons jake likes you.
he likes the way you always stick your tongue out a little when you’re concentrating. he likes how you always hum to yourself when you think nobody’s listening. he likes how you talk to everyone the same, never acting like anybody’s above or below you.
he likes you.
and it’s ruining his life.
"do you think jake sim is... weird?"
shinyu raises an eyebrow. "weird how?"
you frown, trying to find the right words.
"i don’t know. like... awkward? around me?"
he snorts. "he's awkward around everyone."
"not really."
shinyu pauses, eyes narrowing like he’s finally catching onto something you've been missing this whole time.
"...wait." he leans in. "do you seriously not realize he's into you?"
you blink.
"what?"
"oh my god." he gape at you like you're the dumbest person alive. "he's had a crush on you since, like, forever."
you genuinely laugh at that, because there's no way.
right?
meanwhile, across the cafeteria, jake sim is currently choking on his water because he saw you glance in his direction for half a second.
sunghoon pats his back, looking vaguely concerned.
"bro, you have superpowers, but you can't even talk to your crush?"
jake coughs harder. he’s so, so doomed.
you don’t try to stay out late. it just happens.
sometimes it’s because you lose track of time, caught up in the city’s glow. sometimes it’s because you’re walking home after a long study session, brain fried from trying to shove too much information into it at once.
tonight, it’s the latter.
shinyu yawns next to you, stretching his arms over his head as you both step out of the library. “i swear, if i have to look at one more page of notes, i’m throwing my entire textbook into the river.”
“you say that every time,” you point out.
“and one of these days, i’ll actually do it.”
you snort, tugging your hoodie closer around you. it’s late enough that the streets are quieter than usual, the hum of distant traffic the only real sound. most of the shops have already shut down, save for the 24-hour convenience store at the corner.
shinyu pulls out his phone. “should i call a cab?”
“nah,” you shake your head. “i’ll just walk.”
he frowns. “are you sure? it’s kinda late.”
“i always do this. i’ll be fine.”
he hesitates, clearly debating whether or not to argue, but eventually sighs. “alright. text me when you get home, though.”
“yes, mom.”
he rolls his eyes, flicking your forehead before heading off in the opposite direction.
you stuff your hands into your pockets and start walking.
your route home is familiar, same streets, same flickering streetlights, same little shop windows reflecting the glow of the city back at you. you don’t feel unsafe. if anything, you like walking at night. there’s something peaceful about it, something that makes the world feel a little softer around the edges.
but then—
you hear footsteps behind you.
at first, you don’t think much of it. there are always other people out and about. but as you keep walking, the sound stays steady, just far enough behind that you can’t tell if it’s a coincidence or something else.
your stomach twists. ‘who the fuck is walking around the same route as you at 2am..?’ you think to yourself.
you glance over your shoulder.
a man. mid-thirties, maybe. hood pulled up over his head.
the moment your eyes meet, he quickly looks away, pretending to check his phone.
your heart beats a little faster. you’re probably overreacting.
but then you turn the corner, and the footsteps turn with you.
you pick up your pace.
so do they.
your chest tightens. okay. okay. you’re not imagining it.
you scan the street for other people, but it’s mostly empty. the nearest open shop is too far ahead, and the alley you just passed is—
wait.
your stomach drops.
you didn’t even hear him move, but suddenly, he’s not behind you anymore.
he’s right there.
you barely have time to react before he grabs your wrist, grip too tight, breath too close. “hey—”
before you can even think to scream, something flies past you—fast, sharp.
and suddenly, the man is yanked backwards.
one second he’s gripping you, the next he’s pinned to the alley wall, struggling against thick strands of white webbing wrapped tight around his torso.
your breath catches in your throat.
what.
your brain barely has time to process it before—
“hey,” a voice calls.
you turn, heart still pounding.
and standing there, perched casually on the edge of a lamppost, is spider-man.
your mouth goes dry.
he hops down, landing lightly on the pavement, head tilting slightly as he glances at the guy still stuck to the wall. “yeah, i don’t think so,” he says.
the guy grunts, struggling uselessly against the webbing.
spider-man sighs. “not your best move.”
you just stare.
you know who he is, obviously. everyone does. but knowing about spider-man and actually seeing him in front of you are two entirely different things.
he turns to you. “you alright?”
you blink at him, mind still catching up. “uh.”
he tilts his head. “i’ll take that as a yes?”
“y-yeah,” you stammer, clearing your throat. “yeah. i’m fine.”
“good.” he gestures vaguely toward the guy. “i’ll leave him here for the cops. but, uh—maybe don’t walk alone this late?”
you exhale sharply. “yeah. got it. solid advice.”
spider-man lets out a soft chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck.
for some reason, that tiny, almost shy gesture is what actually makes your brain start working again.
because up until now, he seemed untouchable, fast, sharp, the kind of person who moves like he already knows the next ten steps ahead. but now, standing here, he’s shifting his weight slightly like he’s not sure what to do with his hands.
and for some reason, that makes him feel real.
“do you, uh,” he starts, then hesitates. “want me to walk you home?”
your stomach flips.
“oh,” you say. “you don’t have to—”
“i don’t mind,” he says quickly. “just to make sure you get there safe.”
you bite your lip. you really should say no. he’s probably busy, and you don’t want to take up more of his time.
but also.
spider-man just offered to walk you home.
what kind of idiot would turn that down?
“…okay,” you say finally.
you can hear the smile in his voice. “okay.”
when you finally get home, he hangs back by the streetlight, watching as you unlock the door.
“thanks again,” you say, turning back to him.
he nods. “anytime.”
you hesitate.
“…do you do handshakes?”
he lets out a soft laugh. “not usually.”
“oh.” you lower your hand, a little embarrassed.
but before you can pull it back completely, he reaches out and bumps his knuckles against yours.
it’s such a small thing. so stupidly small.
but for some reason, it makes your heart stutter.
you glance up at him, but he’s already moving, gripping the edge of the nearest rooftop, hoisting himself up with an easy strength that makes your stomach flip.
and then, just before he disappears—
“goodnight,” he says.
your breath catches.
and then he’s gone.
you collapse onto your bed the second you get inside, phone buzzing with a text from shinyu.
shinyu: you home yet? you: yeah shinyu: good
you hover over the keyboard for a second, debating.
and then—
you: hey. what do you think of spider-man?
his reply is instant.
shinyu: idk. kinda cool? you: ...yeah.
you stare at the screen. your heart is still racing.
and for some reason, all you can hear is his voice.
stupid voice with that stupid accent you recognize but look over.
it’s become a thing now.
you didn’t plan for it, but somehow it has.
spider-man keeps showing up.
at first, it’s just the occasional late-night save, that charming but awkward conversation at the end where you thank him profusely and he gives you a weird little knuckle bump before disappearing into the night.
but then...
you start seeing him more.
you start to notice that he seems to be where you are, just when you need him.
it happens AGAIN one night when you’re walking home after another late study session with shinyu.
you’re tired. drained. your brain feels like mush, and shinyu, though he’s usually the one full of energy, seems to be on the same wavelength.
"i swear," he mutters, "if i see one more page of equations, i’m going to just… yeet this textbook into the nearest river."
you snort, nudging him. "don’t tempt me. i’m kind of considering it myself."
you both chuckle, but it's tired. the kind of tired where you can’t even muster the energy to fake your usual enthusiasm.
the streets are quiet again, just the sound of your footsteps echoing in the night.
and, as usual, that familiar feeling creeps in, like you’re being watched.
you brush it off. it’s probably just a shadow, the way the streetlights flicker and make things seem closer than they are.
but then, in the distance, a small rustle.
you freeze for a second, but quickly continue walking, convincing yourself it’s nothing.
you turn another corner, and then, there he is.
spider-man.
you blink, more than a little surprised.
“oh, hey,” you say, trying to act casual. "what's up?"
he’s leaning against the side of a building, arms crossed, but when you notice the way he’s watching you, you can’t shake the feeling that maybe he’s been here for a while.
he straightens, suddenly looking a bit... embarrassed? "uh, nothing much. just making sure you're alright."
you blink, a little confused. "i’m fine? why wouldn’t i be?"
he gives a small shrug, like it’s no big deal. "you know, just being careful. you’re walking kinda late, and i’m... well, i’m always around."
you raise an eyebrow. "you just 'happen' to be around whenever i'm out late?"
he looks sheepish. "yep."
you stare at him for a second.
“are you stalking me?” you joke, but it comes out a little too serious.
his eyes widen, and he starts shaking his head quickly, scratching at the back of his neck. "no! no, of course not. just... making sure you're safe, y’know?"
you chuckle softly, rolling your eyes. "right. sure."
he seems to relax when you don’t push it further. “anyway, i could walk you home if you want. just in case, you know?”
you shrug. it’s not like you mind. "okay, but only because you’re weirdly persistent."
he grins, clearly relieved. "wouldn’t dream of letting you walk alone."
it’s an awkward, quiet walk. mostly because spider-man doesn’t seem to know how to start a normal conversation. his silence is comfortable, though, like there’s no need to fill the space. just walking with him feels nice.
by the time you’re at your front door, you’re laughing over something dumb that shinyu had said earlier. you feel strangely at ease.
"thanks for walking me home," you say.
he shrugs. “it’s nothing. just doing my part.”
you smile, heart skipping a beat. "goodnight, spider-man."
"goodnight," he replies, his voice soft. then, as usual, he’s gone before you can say anything else.
the routine builds quickly after that.
it becomes normal to see him around whenever you’re out at night.
he always seems to be around, sometimes just dropping in for a casual chat, other times swooping in to rescue you from the occasional shady character or two.
but it’s the quiet moments you start to cherish.
there’s one night where you and shinyu are hanging out on the rooftop of your building, talking about life as you always do. the sky is clear, the stars twinkling, and it feels like a moment frozen in time.
shinyu is sprawled across the floor, pretending to sleep, while you’re sitting with your legs dangling over the edge, arms resting on your knees.
“so,” he says suddenly, breaking the silence. “what’s the deal with spider-man, anyway? you two talk a lot now.”
you freeze for a second, eyes narrowing. “what do you mean ‘talk a lot?’”
he raises his hands in mock surrender. “i’m just saying. you two have some weird dynamic. are you, like, dating or something?”
you laugh it off. “what? no! it’s just... he’s, uh, nice. i don’t know, he’s just been around when i’ve needed him, that’s all.”
shinyu sits up, raising an eyebrow. “oh, really? just ‘happens’ to be there. that’s cute.”
you roll your eyes. “he’s cool, okay?”
he gives you a knowing look. “if you say so.”
before you can respond, you hear the familiar sound of whoosh above you.
spider-man drops down onto the roof, landing lightly beside you with an easy smile.
“hey, guys,” he says casually, like he hasn’t just flown in to join the conversation.
you smile at him, your heart fluttering a little. “hey, spider-man.”
shinyu squints at him, grinning. “so, we’re just hanging out, huh? that’s cool. do you want anything to drink?”
spider-man looks at him in confusion. “huh?”
“i mean, you’re here now. should we get drinks?” shinyu gestures to the corner store below. “i’ll go down and grab something. you want anything?”
spider-man glances at you first, and then back at shinyu, his expression unreadable for a moment.
“uh, sure,” he says, his voice a little uncertain. “i’ll just have whatever you’re getting.”
shinyu gives a little nod before standing up and heading down the stairs to the convenience store.
you and spider-man are left alone again.
the air feels different this time, like the space between you has changed. you both sit there in silence for a moment.
he clears his throat. “so, uh... how’s the studying going?”
you laugh softly. “honestly? i want to burn my textbooks.”
he chuckles. “yeah, i get that. same.”
you glance at him, curious. “you study too?”
he shrugs, looking awkward. “well... when i’m not being, you know, spider-man. i try to keep up.”
you nod, smiling. “cool. you seem smart.”
he looks away, rubbing the back of his neck. “yeah, well, it’s all kind of a... blur, y’know?”
you laugh again. "yeah, i know exactly what you mean."
and suddenly, you realize something.
you’re actually... comfortable with him.
not just the whole superhero thing, not just the awkwardness, but the person behind it. you don’t need to be on edge around him.
and somehow, that makes you feel both lighter and a little strange.
later, shinyu returns with drinks, and the conversation picks up again. spider-man relaxes a little more, though he still seems a bit fidgety.
you can’t help but notice how, even now, when he’s around shinyu, he still doesn’t seem to know how to act. there’s an ease to his awkwardness that’s almost endearing.
shinyu teases him a little, asking if he’s ever had to take his suit off after a long night of “saving people” and spider-man just shrugs awkwardly, mumbling something about the suit being “perfectly breathable” as if that’s the most casual thing in the world.
it’s a weird dynamic, but it works.
and for the first time in a long time, you don’t feel quite so... lonely.
when it’s time to leave, spider-man walks you home again, which is literally downstairs.
you’re still laughing from something shinyu said, but when you glance over at spider-man, you notice him looking at you more seriously than usual.
“you okay?” you ask, surprised by the shift in his mood.
“yeah,” he replies, his voice quiet. “just... it’s nothing. just wanted to check on you.”
you smile softly. “you do that a lot.”
he shrugs. “it’s my job, right?”
and even though he says that, you can see the hint of something more. something deeper.
you’re not sure what it is, but you feel it.
you smile to yourself, wondering if maybe you’re starting to understand him a little better.
when you get to your front door, you wave goodbye, but this time, he doesn’t leave immediately.
he lingers.
“goodnight, spider-man,” you say quietly.
“goodnight.”
he’s gone before you can blink.
and you can’t help but feel like there’s something he’s not saying. something important.
you’re at school, sitting with shinyu during lunch, lazily picking at your food as the two of you chat about the usual, homework, annoying teachers, and how much you’d rather be anywhere else.
and then, somehow, the conversation lands on him.
"so, spider-man," shinyu says, taking a sip of his drink. "you never really told me. what’s the deal with that?"
you blink, caught off guard. "what do you mean?"
shinyu shrugs. "i mean, you guys talk a lot. what’s he like?"
you pause, considering it. "well... he’s nice. kind of awkward, but in a cute way. and, i don’t know, i feel like i can actually talk to him, you know?"
shinyu raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. "so you like talking to him."
"obviously," you say, rolling your eyes. "he’s funny, easy to be around, and—"
you pause for half a second.
shinyu waits.
"... and?"
you shrug, acting like what you’re about to say is no big deal. "and he’s kinda hot."
it happens instantly.
a loud choking sound from the table next to you.
you both turn your heads.
jake sim, golden boy of the school, is currently dying.
he’s hunched over, violently coughing, his drink abandoned as he tries to catch his breath. his friends, some of the other popular kids, are just watching him, either concerned or mildly entertained.
"bro, what is wrong with you?" one of them asks, patting jake on the back.
jake wheezes.
you stare at him, blinking. "... you good?"
he looks up at you, eyes wide, mouth slightly open like he just realized he made a scene.
"uh—yeah! yes! i’m fine!" he blurts out, too loudly.
you and shinyu exchange a look.
"uh-huh," you say, unconvinced.
jake quickly grabs his drink again, pretending like nothing happened, but you can see it, how his ears are red, how he’s suddenly so focused on stirring his drink with his straw like it’s the most interesting thing in the world.
weird.
shinyu, being shinyu, decides to push it.
"wait, you were listening to us?" he says, grinning.
"no!" jake says, way too fast. "i wasn’t listening! i just— i mean— i heard something, but it wasn’t on purpose—"
he stops himself, as if realizing he’s making it worse.
you stare at him, trying to figure out what his deal is.
jake sim is, objectively, very attractive. everyone at school knows it. he’s the kind of guy who could probably get away with murder just by looking at someone the right way.
but right now?
right now, he looks like a glitching NPC.
shinyu smirks. "so, which part made you choke? the part where spider-man is easy to talk to, or the part where he’s hot?"
jake makes a strangled sound, like he just swallowed his soul.
"i—" he starts, then stops, looking deeply uncomfortable.
you narrow your eyes at him.
"wait," you say suddenly, realization hitting. "do you know spider-man?"
jake freezes.
his eyes dart around the table, as if searching for an escape route.
"i—uh—no?" he tries, but it sounds more like a question than an answer.
"that was very convincing," you deadpan.
"thank you," he says automatically. then, realizing what he just did, he groans and drags a hand down his face.
you just stare at him.
what is up with this guy?
shinyu snickers. "dude, you’re acting real suspicious right now."
"i am not," jake says, still looking very much suspicious.
you and shinyu both just keep staring at him.
jake, unable to handle the attention, suddenly stands up. "gotta go!" he announces, grabbing his tray and practically sprinting away from the table.
... what.
you blink. "okay, what was that?"
shinyu just laughs. "no clue, but that was hilarious."
you shake your head, still baffled.
jake sim is weird.
that night, like clockwork, spider-man appears.
you’re outside, walking back from the convenience store, a bag of snacks in your hand when you hear the familiar thwip of a web.
you don’t even flinch anymore.
“oh, hey,” you say as he lands beside you. "you’re early tonight."
spider-man, who seems slightly fidgety for some reason, clears his throat. "uh, yeah. just happened to be around."
you nod. "right. as always."
there’s a beat of silence as the two of you start walking.
then, spider-man casually goes, "sooo... you think i’m hot?"
you freeze mid-step.
"what—"
he panics immediately. "i mean—! not that i heard you say that or anything, but like— well, let’s say hypothetically you did say that, and hypothetically i overheard—"
you narrow your eyes. "did you overhear?"
he hesitates for a full second before blurting, "no!"
"uh-huh."
he coughs. "but if you did think that— i mean, just out of curiosity, uh... what part exactly were you talking about?"
you stare at him.
he shifts, looking way too eager but also like he might die on the spot.
you decide to mess with him.
"i dunno," you say, pretending to think. "maybe the mask? keeps things mysterious."
"mysterious," he echoes.
"or maybe the whole... ‘hero of the city’ thing," you continue. "kind of hard not to find that attractive."
"oh," he says weakly.
you glance at him.
his shoulders are tense. he’s definitely blushing. even through the mask, you can tell.
you bite back a grin. "why do you ask, spider-man? you interested in what i think?"
"wh—no! i mean— i guess? maybe? i just—" he stops mid-sentence, suddenly frustrated with himself.
you laugh. "wow. you get flustered really easily."
"i do not," he lies.
you grin.
he’s so bad at this.
but... it’s kind of cute.
he clears his throat, clearly desperate to change the subject. "so! um! anyway! totally unrelated question—"
"uh-huh?"
"—but, like... have you ever thought that maybe you already know me?"
you blink. "what?"
he shrugs, trying to sound casual. "i mean, like, what if i wasn’t just spider-man? what if i was, i dunno... someone you see every day?"
you frown, confused.
"... but you’re not," you say simply. "i’d recognize your voice."
spider-man pauses.
"oh," he says.
like he just remembered that’s a thing.
you keep walking, completely missing the way his entire body slumps.
"why?" you ask, glancing at him. "are you secretly my math teacher or something?"
he lets out a weird, awkward laugh. "pfft. no! definitely not. that’d be, um. weird."
you snort. "right... mr. lee..?"
spider-man sighs, clearly realizing this isn’t going anywhere. "never mind," he mutters.
you just shrug. "okay. anyway, are we getting snacks or what?"
he perks up instantly. "yes! let’s do that."
he’s back to normal.
but inside, jake sim is screaming.
when you get home, you fall onto your bed, thinking about the conversation you just had.
weird.
he was acting weird.
but it’s probably nothing.
meanwhile, somewhere across the city, jake is lying face down on his bed, aggressively kicking his feet like a teenage girl in a romcom, absolutely mortified.
his friends are still roasting him for what happened at lunch.
he’s never going to live this down.
rooftops are underrated.
shinyu agrees.
“this is the best place to complain about life,” he says, stretching out on the rooftop ledge. “no teachers, no school stress, just the city and the stars.”
“and potential death if you slip,” you point out.
“adds to the thrill.”
you laugh, taking a deep breath as the cool night air brushes against your skin. it’s peaceful up here, the hum of the city below feeling distant, almost like background noise.
this is your favorite part of the night, escaping the weight of the day, letting yourself exist without expectations.
shinyu, lounging beside you, throws a crumpled snack wrapper at you. “so. be honest. do you think mr. lee is actually grading our essays or just randomly handing out scores?”
“random,” you say immediately. “there’s no way he read mine. i wrote a whole paragraph about how pigeons should have jobs and still got an A.”
shinyu nearly chokes on his drink. “what?”
“i was sleep-deprived, okay?”
“bro.”
you grin, nudging his shoulder. shinyu’s dramatic laughter echoes in the open air, and for a second, it feels like nothing else matters.
but then—
thwip.
a familiar sound.
you don’t even flinch.
shinyu, however, does. “bro,” he says, staring at the figure that just landed on the rooftop. “your weird little superhero friend is here again.”
spider-man straightens up. “hey,” he says, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie over his suit.
“oh, great,” shinyu mutters. “now i have to third-wheel whatever this weird thing is.”
you roll your eyes. “it’s not weird.”
spider-man, beside you, shifts. “wait. what’s not weird?”
shinyu smirks. “you and them.”
spider-man nearly trips over his own feet. “what?”
you laugh. “ignore him, he’s just being annoying.”
“i’m just saying,” shinyu teases, standing up and stretching, “i feel like a chaperone. anyway, i’m heading home before mr. lee assigns another test. try not to die.”
you wave him off, watching as he climbs down the fire escape.
the second he’s gone, spider-man sighs dramatically. “your friend is kind of scary.”
“he’d love to hear that.”
he chuckles, shaking his head. “so. you just hang out on rooftops for fun?”
“why not?” you shrug. “it’s peaceful. no school, no responsibilities, no—”
you shift slightly on the ledge—
and your foot slips.
for a split second, your stomach drops.
but before you can even process it—
strong hands grab your waist, pulling you back to safety.
your breath catches.
you don’t even have time to think before you’re pressed against him, his hands still firmly holding you, your faces way too close.
your brain short-circuits.
spider-man tenses.
his mask hides his expression, but you can feel the shift, the sudden awareness of just how close you are.
your hands are gripping his arms, his hands are still on your waist, and for a moment, neither of you move.
the air is thick.
his breathing is a little uneven.
he’s calm on the outside, but inside?
jake sim is losing his mind.
because oh my god.
he is touching you.
holding you.
you’re close enough that he can see every little detail, the way your lips part slightly in surprise, the way your eyes flicker down for a second before meeting his again.
he’s panicking.
but he cannot show it.
so he clears his throat, trying to sound casual. “you, uh. good?”
you blink, snapping out of it.
“oh. yeah. thanks for—” you gesture vaguely, still hyper-aware of his hands.
spider-man nods, though his brain is still buffering.
he should move.
but his hands don’t move.
why aren’t they moving?
he’s gripping your waist like you’re going to fall again, like he has to keep holding on, and it takes everything in him to not scream.
you tilt your head.
“... you okay?”
"me? oh! yeah! totally fine! absolutely not freaking out or anything!”
you squint at him.
"... you sure?"
"yep! totally! one hundred percent normal behavior happening right now!"
he still hasn’t let go.
you raise an eyebrow.
he realizes he still hasn’t let go.
"oh! right! my bad!"
he snatches his hands away like he just touched fire, stumbling back a step.
you blink at him.
he looks like he just had an out-of-body experience.
"... you’re acting weird," you say.
"no, i’m not!" he says, voice cracking.
you stare at him for another second before shrugging. "okay."
you sit back down like nothing happened.
spider-man stands there, physically trying to reboot.
the next day at school, jake sim is a mess.
he is so weird about it.
you don’t even notice at first, too busy going about your day, but then, little things start adding up.
like how he keeps running into walls.
or how he drops his books every time you walk by.
or how, when you pass him in the hallway, he does a 180-degree spin and walks the other direction like he just forgot where he was going.
it’s like he has no motor skills around you.
and the worst part?
everyone notices.
"bro, what is your deal?" one of his friends asks after jake nearly trips over thin air.
jake just groans, aggressively rubbing his face. "i don’t wanna talk about it."
his friends exchange a look.
"you’ve been acting weird since yesterday," one of them says. "what happened?"
"nothing!"
"are you sure?"
"yes!" jake says, too fast. "i’m totally fine! absolutely normal! definitely not thinking about anything that happened on a rooftop last night!"
his friends blink.
"... what?"
jake.exe has stopped working.
"i gotta go," he says, shoving his books into his bag and sprinting away before they can ask any more questions.
meanwhile, you, completely oblivious to his entire breakdown, sit down with shinyu at lunch, happily eating your food.
"hey," shinyu says, nudging you. "you notice how jake’s been acting extra weird today?"
you pause mid-bite. "huh?"
"he keeps running into things. i think you broke him."
"... what did i do?"
shinyu shrugs. "no clue. but it’s hilarious."
you glance across the cafeteria.
jake is at his table, looking stressed.
you don’t think much of it.
meanwhile, jake is sitting there, gripping his drink, replaying last night’s moment in his head like a broken record, absolutely suffering.
there’s something weird about jake sim.
not in an obvious way, he’s still the school’s golden boy, still effortlessly good-looking, still surrounded by people who seem drawn to him like he has his own gravitational pull.
but ever since you started talking to spider-man, something feels... off.
and the more you think about it, the more you realize...
jake and spider-man are kind of similar.
not in every way, obviously.
spider-man is cool in a nerdy, awkward way. jake is just awkward.
spider-man is confident until he’s flustered. jake is flustered until he’s more flustered.
but there are little things. things that stick in your mind and refuse to leave.
the way they both stutter when they’re flustered.
the way they both react too strongly when you mention something embarrassing.
the way spider-man somehow always reacts to things you say about jake sim a little too specifically.
you wouldn’t normally care.
except now you do so you decide to test him.
the opportunity presents itself in the middle of lunch.
shinyu is ranting about his math teacher, and you’re half-listening, half-watching as jake sits at his usual table across the cafeteria.
he looks tired.
his friends are talking, but he’s zoned out, poking at his food with a fork like it personally offended him.
for once, no one is paying attention to him.
so you turn to shinyu and casually say,
"hey. you ever think jake sim is kinda... spider-man-y?"
shinyu blinks. "what."
you shrug. "just saying. they kinda act the same sometimes."
"what kind of reach—"
you don’t get to respond.
because across the cafeteria, jake, mid-bite into his sandwich, freezes.
like, completely.
his jaw locks, his eyes widen slightly, and for a second, he just sits there, bread still between his teeth, looking like he’s buffering.
it’s only when one of his friends elbows him that he starts moving again, slowly, mechanically, chewing like he suddenly forgot how food works.
you watch this unfold with mild amusement.
shinyu squints. "okay, that was weird."
"right?"
you decide to take it further.
"also, if you really think about it, their voices are kind of similar," you add, casually sipping your drink.
jake, still trying to recover from his sandwich malfunction, visibly flinches.
his friend frowns. "dude, are you good?"
"mhm!" jake squeaks, before quickly stuffing more food into his mouth to avoid talking.
his ears are so red.
shinyu glances between you and him. "...did you just break jake sim?"
"interesting," you say, watching as jake forces himself to act normal, failing spectacularly.
very suspicious.
that night, spider-man shows up like always.
you’re sitting on your usual rooftop spot, legs dangling over the edge.
he lands beside you, slightly out of breath.
you tilt your head. “you good?”
"yep!" he says. "totally! just... busy day."
you hum.
"...sooo," you start, watching him closely, "something really funny happened today."
spider-man tenses. "oh? uh. what?"
you grin. "i was talking to shinyu about how jake sim kinda reminds me of you."
he flinches.
"oh?"
"yeah," you say, leaning in slightly. "you both get flustered really easily."
"what? no, i don’t!"
you raise an eyebrow. "you’re literally flustered right now."
"no, i’m not!"
you squint.
he shifts uncomfortably.
"also," you continue, "you have the same little mannerisms sometimes. like how you rub the back of your neck when you’re nervous."
his hand immediately drops from the back of his neck.
you stare.
he stares back.
"...okay, that was suspicious."
"what was?"
"that!"
"what?"
"you just—" you gesture vaguely. "you’re acting weird."
"i’m always weird!"
"true," you admit.
he sighs in relief.
but you’re not done.
"also, your voice kinda sounds like his."
"what?!"
"just a little," you say, watching him panic. "not enough for most people to notice, but still."
"n-no it doesn’t!"
"you sure?"
"positive!"
you hum.
"you definitely don’t have anything you wanna tell me?"
"nope! nothing at all! absolutely nothing weird happening here!*"
you squint.
he is sweating.
interesting.
jake sim has fought criminals, dodged gunfire, and swung through the city at terrifying speeds—
but this is the most nerve-wracking thing he’s ever done.
because tonight, he’s going to tell you.
he’s going to take off the mask, look you in the eye, and say it, 'i’m spider-man. i’m also jake sim. and i like you. a lot.'
he’s been rehearsing it in his head for days.
except now that he’s actually standing on the rooftop where you usually meet, waiting for you, his brain is short-circuiting.
what if you get mad? what if you feel betrayed? what if you never want to talk to him again?
he groans into his hands. this was a terrible idea.
but he can’t back out now.
not when he hears footsteps coming up the fire escape.
his heart nearly leaps out of his chest.
okay, okay. just act normal. wait, no—don't act normal, you’re always awkward. act... slightly less awkward. you can do this. you got this.
he takes a deep breath.
the door creaks open.
he turns around, already preparing himself—
and then immediately panics because—
oh god. that’s not you. that’s shinyu.
shinyu blinks. “oh.”
jake freezes.
shinyu squints. “what are you doing here?”
"nothing!" spider-man blurts out. "just—y’know. being spider-man. normal superhero things. ha ha."
shinyu looks so unimpressed. "right."
jake is internally screaming. where are you?? why is shinyu here instead?? he was so ready.
shinyu leans against the rooftop railing, arms crossed. "so. waiting for someone?"
spider-man stiffens. "uh—no! no, just... hanging out."
shinyu hums.
spider-man shifts uncomfortably.
there's a beat of silence before shinyu smirks. "you’re totally waiting for y/n, aren’t you?"
spider-man chokes on air.
"what?!"
shinyu laughs. "dude, relax. you guys seem close, that’s all."
spider-man doesn’t know what to say.
shinyu keeps going, teasing. "you like them or something?"
spider-man malfunctions.
because the answer is yes, so much yes, oh my god yes, but he cannot say that.
so he just stands there, absolutely flustered, failing to form a single coherent word.
shinyu raises an eyebrow. "wait. do you like them?"
"WHAT? NO. HAHAHA. HA." spider-man's voice cracks.
shinyu stares.
spider-man stares back.
the silence is deafening.
then shinyu grins.
"oh my god, you totally do."
spider-man groans and buries his face in his hands. this is a disaster.
shinyu laughs. "don’t worry, i won’t tell."
"thank you," spider-man mutters, still dying inside.
shinyu pats his shoulder. "good luck, loverboy."
and with that, he leaves, completely unaware that he just ruined the big reveal.
spider-man sighs so hard.
he’s going to scream into his pillow when he gets home.
jake sim has been so, so careful.
for months, he’s balanced both sides of his life perfectly, being the popular golden boy at school while keeping his very obvious crush on you a secret, and being the confident, quick-witted spider-man who gets to talk to you without turning into a human error message.
but all of that completely shatters in a matter of seconds.
and it’s entirely his fault.
it’s late, and you’re heading home from another study session with shinyu.
your backpack is slung lazily over one shoulder, and you’re lost in thought when suddenly—
"HEY!"
a voice yells from the alley beside you, and before you can react, a blur of red and blue drops down from above.
spider-man.
except something is off.
because he’s standing in front of you... maskless.
his wavy hair is messy, his expression is panicked, and his wide brown eyes lock onto yours in sheer horror.
… jake sim.
"JAKE?" you yelp.
"OH MY GOD." jake grabs his head like he just realized he left the stove on. "OH MY GOD, I FORGOT MY MASK. I—I THOUGHT I PUT IT ON BUT I DIDN’T. I JUST SWUNG DOWN WITHOUT IT—OH, THIS IS SO BAD—"
he starts pacing in frantic circles, muttering a meltdown under his breath. "stupid, stupid, stupid—how do you forget your MASK? how did i even think this was a good idea? i should just move to another country—"
you’re just standing there, staring at him, processing.
spider-man is jake sim.
jake sim is spider-man.
it all clicks.
the awkwardness. the stammering. the similarities you swore you noticed but ignored.
you slap a hand over your mouth, because instead of being shocked, instead of yelling or freaking out—
you start laughing.
"you’re kidding." you wheeze. "you’re actually kidding."
jake stops spiraling and looks at you like you just started speaking another language. "wait. why are you laughing?"
you’re losing it. "because this makes so much sense now. oh my god. jake."
he goes so red. "don���t say my name like that while i’m wearing the suit, that feels illegal."
but you can’t stop laughing. "i can’t believe i didn’t put this together sooner. you—oh my god, you were literally short-circuiting in front of me at school while having full-on conversations with me as spider-man."
"please," jake begs. "please let me live."
you wipe a tear from your eye, catching your breath. "wait—hold on—" you inhale, trying to compose yourself. "so… does that mean… you had a crush on me this whole time?"
jake freezes.
his entire body locks up like you just hit him with a paralyzing spell.
you raise an eyebrow. "jake."
he doesn’t move.
he doesn’t breathe.
"jake," you say again. "do you—"
"OKAY—" he blurts out, exploding into motion. "yes! yes. i like you. a lot. i have for a really long time. and i know this is probably the worst way for you to find out but—"
you take a step closer.
he shuts up immediately.
he’s still rambling in his head, though, oh my god, they’re looking at me, they’re getting closer, what does this mean, am i going to die—
and then—
you kiss him.
it’s soft, quick, and so unexpected that it completely short-circuits him.
his brain blue-screens.
by the time you pull away, his soul has left his body.
"you just—" he breathes, voice barely above a whisper.
you grin. "you like me."
"YOU JUST KISSED ME."
"yeah." you tilt your head. "you gonna do something about it, spider-man?"
jake.exe has stopped working.
he just stands there, mouth opening and closing, until finally—
he just groans into his hands. "oh my god, i am so in love with you."
~
ty for reading and enjoying !
enha taglist : @minoouz
perm taglist : @s0shroe @minoouz
2K notes · View notes
hollyhomburg · 2 months ago
Text
Hold your Breath (Count to Seven)
(Pack alpha Hoseok focus, Background ot7 x reader, Omegaverse, Forced Caretaking, Omega scarcity au)
୨୧‧₊˚ Summary: When a performance keeps pack alpha Hoseok from tending to his sick omega, he struggles to contain his rage (and looks back on all the reasons he has to control his anger).
୨୧ ‧₊˚ Word Count: 16.6k
୨୧ ‧₊˚ Tags: Omegaverse au, omega scarcity, forced caretaking, idol au, Pack alpha hoseok x omega! m/c, Sicfic, Angst, Hurt/comfort, Background ot7 x reader, eventual Brat! m/c, Implied chronic health issues, themes of trauma, Hoseok has PTSD from enlistment, healing, Past Medical mistreatment, past neglect, Eventual smut, brief smut, Brief allusions to omega obedience training, Brief Dom! Hoseok, Breif Sub! m/c + Jk, referenced Dom Jimin + spanking, non-chronological storyline
୨୧ ‧₊˚ A/N: This was inspired after i got /dreadfully/ ill after seeing HOTS in march. i've been writing it for a good long while i guess! i'm open to adding more to the story if i'm inspired but as of right now it will only be 5 parts. Please enjoy it and let me know what you think! this story also does go non-chronolgocially, if we organize it by chronology this is actually the middle. basically it goes 3 < 4 < 5 < 1 < 2, but i think you'll enjoy the flashbacks of how they got togeather!
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The sound of the audience and the rumble of screams and shouts are still ringing in Hoseok's ears as he exits the stage. The roar of the lyrics are a hum filling his veins. Adrenaline pumps through his system better than any drug or instinct. More addictive and more natural to him than breathing.
He’s sweat tacky in places he’d rather not name and yet despite this night- a show, the dance of performer and performance, the validation that comes from the screams of many waiting fans- despite all of that- Hoseok's still not calm. Hoseok's still not satisfied.
He yanks his in ears out, nearly tearing at the wiring the second he's clear from view. Not even bothering to put his microphone in its correct case as he moves, breathless and hurried in the direction of the dressing room.
A stagehand tries to help him, but after clocking the rage and aggression rolling off of him they think better of it and lower their gaze as he passes, practically curling in on themselves.
He's on alert, aggression a hairpin trigger just waiting to be pulled below his skin. Almost hoping for an outlet. The still lingering roaring cheers of Alphas, a good number of betas, and a sparse select few omegas ferry him as he cuts through the sea of staff.
By all metrics the show had gone well. He's not angry because he stumbled or because someone messed up the queue for the cube again. This performance had gone perfectly. It has nothing to do with why he's about to snap and punch someone. Maybe bite them. Maybe tear them limb from limb- yeah his alpha likes the sound of that. But none of this, none of this is what makes his blood hot in his veins.
That honor belongs to his omega.
You’re not just his, of course, you belong to the others too. But he’s pack alpha, so they all belong to him to some degree. The pups more so, his peers, Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi- less. Being a part of a pack is more like belonging to matching a set and less ownership.
But not anymore. You're Hoseok's. In every way that matters. You're his.
It's hard to believe, but Hoseok was not always so possessive and exacting as a pack alpha. He never had to deal with any of this- the instincts and the near-feral need that comes with them before the pack became fractured. Broken in a way that can’t be fixed by words and promises. Leaving Hoseok's alpha to pace back and forth the inside of his mind like a monster caged and understimulated.
Hoseok wishes he knew what he was giving up when he enlisted.
Not that knowing would have changed anything. But at least then he'd have been prepared.
Hoseok has seven pups and seven packmates registered to his pack. four alpha's, two beta's, and one precious omega. He's never been without his pack for so long and before 22 months ago they'd never been apart for more than a few weeks. Enlisting posed new challenges, some that Hoseok thought he'd be better at handling by now.
But adjustment takes time. Healing takes time. It doesn't matter how many times he repeats that to himself. Nothing ever gets easier (You might disagree).
The military wasn't easy. They didn't go easy on Hoseok.
He'd never been one alpha among the many, never had his rage cultivated and honed as a weapon to be used and wielded by his superiors. Hoseok learned he was good at being angry- good at melding his body and his alpha together as one- it's only now that Hoseok's out that he's struggling to detangle his sense of self from his alpha.
He'd never been without some sort of pack structure. At least not in so many years. He'd presented with Namjoon and Yoongi- had dealt with their instincts and learned how to settle his own alongside them. A good thing too because a few years after when Jungkook and Taehyung had come along. Young and wide-eyed and entirely unprepared for anything like presenting- they'd needed a pack alpha to help settle them. Someone to guard and mind their instincts, to take care of them, to push when they needed pushing and get them to bend when otherwise they might break.
But war is different. Rage- Hoseok is learning, Is a particular monster that doesn't go down easy.
Of course they'd never been completely broken as a pack. Even now Yoongi is home in the pack house still doing his daily service and coming home at the end of the day. The last time Hoseok had been home (nearly 5 weeks ago before the start of the tour). Yoongi was still struggling; Hoseok saw signs of it everywhere.
His camo jacket wasn't in the house even, it's in the garage where he leaves his boots. Takes them off before he even sets foot inside. separate lives and separate alpha's. There are pack house slippers set up by the door. 16 slippers, 8 sets, color coordinated. Kept meticulously clean like the rest of the house. Namjoon's coffee mug left by the coffee maker, Tae's scarf laid over the chair. A still life painting. hints of the pack left undisturbed. As if they'd just popped out for a moment and where coming back later.
Maybe Hoseok should have realized it when Seokjin was discharged, how you and Yoongi had gone radio silent for 6 hours. How much more communicative Seokjin was after and how every day after he told Hobi how much he couldn't wait for the pack alpha to come home. A new edge to his tone. Hoseok should have suspected something was wrong.
Now that Hoseok's home, he knows. Jin had it easier. Jin's a beta Jin doesn't have a monster in the back of his mind constantly out for blood.
He knows that Yoongi's still not used to buying less than 8 people's worth of food at a time after so many years of cooking and shopping for 8. That he struggles to fall asleep at night- too used to the press of warm bodies around him. Now Hoseok knows that Sometimes when Yoongi wakes in the morning, his hands shake. Instincts and body unsettled.
Hoseok knows, for the first 6 months of his service, his hands shook in the morning too. Call it psychological dependence or physical addiction- Hoseok doesn't quite know what it is. Although Hoseok expects that had more to do with you.
Alpha's can grow dependent on omega's after all. It's no more addictive than a cup of coffee, and yet,
And yet…
In his worst moments, Hoseok wonders what the pack would do if they didn't have you.
If you hadn't have asked, Hoseok wouldn't have let you come on this tour, would have never dragged you across the globe from city to city and would never have taken you from Yoongi. But the fact of the matter is that Hoseok is...it's not that he's not handling this well exactly but...but...
But you'd pouted, and Hoseok (notoriously weak for your every whim and desire) had predictably melted. (He'd been a little oblivious to the thankful looks shot at you over his head, he'd missed the way that Yoongi had cornered you just before the start of tour, how he'd folded himself across you.
"I'll get him back, you know I can be persistent."
"I know, I'm just worried, he's so...unhappy." Yoongi finally settled on. Even if you're both aware that that's not quite it. "You know how I hate it when you push yourself.")
But trauma changes people, it affects everyone differently. Hoseok had changed.
Now Hoseok regrets letting you come even more. When he checks his phone he doesn't have a single text from you. Not a 'good luck on the show.' Or an 'I'll be watching alpha' or anything. Which is not like you. Hoseok shouldn't be so surprised. You're probably sleeping. You're probably just resting like you should be. He'd ordered you to rest last night.
Exiting the stage, Hoseok does try and settle himself. Pausing in the darkness listening the the shouting of the crowd, slowly becoming a murmur and rumble. 60 thousand footsteps trudging towards the exit.
He spends a few moments standing there, staff around him waiting on bated breath, waiting for him to move. He's at least practicing his breathing exercises even if his body still feels like a weapon poised to attack.
When Hoseok closes his eyes, he sees each member of his pack as a pinprick of light against the map. Five dots clustered across the ocean back in Korea, one here close by, and one on the other side of the world.  7 dots and 7 breaths.
Seokjin is in France for an event that left him looking glittery and bejeweled. But he's existed as little more than sinful pictures and soft check-ins on Hoseok’s phone. His phone buzzes, but Hoseok keeps his eyes closed and breathes before he looks at it.
Those check-ins are the only way Hoseok stays sane these days. The updates from Jimin and Jungkook- shots of the dinner they make for the thousands of other recruits. 30 gallon pots of honey potatoes. Recordings of Namjoon's military band. The few promos that Taehyung is allowed to shoot- although he out of all of them is radio silent most weeks. Hoseok knows it's just because he's military police and has a higher clearance than them- even though Hoseok's technically a sergeant- but still-
Taehyung is a shifting wolf, he has different expectations than the rest of the pack.
Hoseok isn't in the military anymore. He's just Jung Hoseok. Only Hoseok could never be just Jung Hoseok- no matter what universe you put him in.
As long he knows exactly where and what his pack is doing the instincts are a little bit easier to bear. As long as he knows when Yoongi's going to come home, when Seokjin will be done with his photoshoot or recording session or this or that and is ready there waiting at the front door for a scenting or a brief nibble at their throat. Hoseok's instincts stay mostly in check.
Mostly. It's easier if Hoseok gives in, just a little bit, to what his alpha wants.
Hoseok's alpha wants more than Hoseok can give him right now, Hoseok's alpha wants blood, wants to tear this stadium apart and hunt across the city, tearing through anyone that steps in his way until he gets to you.
They haven’t all been together in so long his body is almost used to it. His body has adjusted. It’s been months now but there is still aggression that lurks under his skin, alpha constantly roiling to get out out out out. To get back to his pack, to drag them back by the scruff of their necks to the pack house and place them gently in your nest where they belong. Damning laws and discharge dates and all associated consequences.
The truth is that Hoseok's alpha doesn't know what to do when they're not together. Will keep him awake, will keep him from eating or resting. He'd heard that enlistment time could be dangerous for pack alphas, that many don't survive their 18 months without going feral at least once. Hoseok had skimmed by the skin of his teeth.
In many ways, the fight between man and alpha is like a dance, Hoseok’s alpha asks for obedience and Hoseok gives him his body but not his mind when he can help it. He runs and moves, and puts every ounce of discipline and dominance into his dance. His moves are always mastered, never shaky.
Hoseok's not sure he'd know it if he went feral.
When he'd been announced as pack alpha back just after their debut, there had been more than one article that questioned why the sunshine of the group, the ever-smiling and genial member, neither the largest nor the tallest was made pack alpha.
But size has nothing to do with it. Now, no one wonders. After seeing him perform solo on the stage they bought and paid for with their youth and hard work. After seeing him and what he can do no one questions him. Hoseok made discharge look effortless, no one would ever guess. No one would ever wonder.
Other times, Hoseok's alpha asks for more than Hoseok can give without showing it. Like tonight.
The only thing that made their military service at all tolerable was the fact that for those 6 months when the 6 of them had been in active service- at least Yoongi had been able to come home to you.
There’s a text from him on Hobi's phone and he's not asking about the show. Yoongi always watches the live stream and usually texts him the second he's hot off the stage. Asking about how it went even though he saw it. Namjoon might be the group leader but Yoongi has always felt a bit more like Hoseok's second in command.
Hoseok has no doubt that Yoongi saw right through him tonight, saw the furious crispness to his movements, and was able to tell how close he was to breaking. Hoseok doesn’t doubt that the other alpha checking his phone every few minutes. Anxiously waiting for Hoseok's response.
When Hoseok is certain he has enough control over his body that the text isn't going to make him trash the backstage area. He checks his phone.
Yoonie (10:32pm): How is she? Any news? Has her condition gotten any worse?
Yoonie (10:33pm): I know you're probably already considering it, but you know traveling isn't healthy for omega's long term. She needs her routine. You should consider sending her home.
Yoongi has gentler instincts and always has. But even he can't stay settled when their omega is sick. Yoongi also wasn’t taken away from you for a year and a half and taught to kill so Hoseok thinks he’s allowed to be a little on edge.
Hoseok shouldn't feel so fragile and so volatile. He should feel better. This is nothing compared to how it was right after he got back.
Yoongi's not the only one who's texted, the rest already have using their precious 30 minutes of phone time a day to check in. Most of the time, Hobi tries to time his updates to accumulate before they wake.
Jin gets it, Jin understands. Even though he's a beta. His text came through just before Hobi got on stage.
Jinnie (7:05pm): Let me know if you want me to change my flight.
They’ve been separated for a year. There was only Jin’s discharge and then his that they’ve all been together for. They all keep in regular contact and that’s not difficult. They check in and text daily and call weekly. But it's never enough.
As a pack with a registered omega they’re offered some allowances by the government. They get more days off and leeway if one of them gets sick or injured (like last month with Taehyung- Hoseok’s little alpha, bundled close in the nest, face tucked under your chin, so achingly still. His newly big body oh so carefully placed so that he wouldn’t strain his cracked rib.)
Alphas don’t have a better reason to fight than for omegas and recovery rates are always always higher if an alpha has been scented by an omega. The boost to their immune system alone is enough to make omega’s necessary for the war effort. The government even employs some omega's and compensates them greatly for their service as scenters.
The pack would never think about going to a government omega, not when they’ve got you at home.
As a bonded pack there’s no use, it wouldn’t work the same (and Hoseok would never offend you that way). But there’s less time given if more than one alpha is out. It’s one of the few reasons why Hoseok went in first so that he'd be able to help them all adjust when the time came.
He never expected to be the one to have trouble with it. To struggle to turn his instincts off now that they've been turned on.
The people around must be able to tell that Hoseok’s on edge, and the crowd too. Their cries reached a feral pitch, the same shouting that still vibrates the stage beneath his feet. Rage rolls off of him in waves as he stalks back to the dressing room. Smile and grin and smirk falling from his face.
They must be able to smell it on him underneath all the smell of the show, the gunpowder and fire from Hangsang, the roil of steam from sweet dreams, all irrelevant.
This is what they’ve all been waiting for for what feels like years, a chance to be on the stage again, a chance to perform. This is only the beginning leg of the tour and there are still kinks to work out and problems to solve. The logistical nightmare of moving staff and stage across multiple countries never ends. Hoseok is used to this. Hoseok is comfortable here.
He keeps telling himself that.
But right now, Hoseok can't think about it. He can't think about anything else but you.
Because you're sick.
~-~
Omegas are so rare that not every pack can have one.
Only those who can supply an above-average standard of life usually get one. Both prize and packmate. They're more common in celebrity and chaebol circles. Having an omega in your pack is the ultimate sign of success and wealth.
Some packs even have two, especially if the omega's have decided they're nestmates. But Hoseok can't imagine needing more than you.
A disease two generations ago wiped out nearly 90% of omega's. The sickness left only the most looked after, the most cared for unscathed. But those that were alive by the end of the nearly 10 year period scrambled to cope. To this day the omega population still hasn't recovered in any meaningful way. They make up only about 1 in every 100 individuals worldwide, less in Korea.
Most omega’s go through a very rigorous courting period if they're going to belong to a pack at all, only the richest and well-esteemed packs can covet one for for themselves. The rest of the world survives off of government-sponsored nesting and scenting services. There are even government agencies in charge of omega’s. Each omega gets an id card and a social worker. Hoseok hasn't had to talk to yours in years. Omegan Health Services or the OHS that tracks any omega that might have come into contact with the virus and quickly disseminates antivirals and vaccines.
You have to get yours every few months. Hoseok makes sure you never miss your appointments. Usually, he spends the following day confining you to the nest, immune to your restless squirming and your insistence that you're alright, just a little tired. Resistant to his insistence that he carry you where you need to go, that he fuss over you.
Luckily- the rest of the pack gangs up on you after your shots too. Namjoon puts your bandaid on the inside of your arm and Yoongi soothes your stomach with bone broth and light food to support your immune system. Each spoonful blown at, your lips dotted with reassuring kisses between bites. Jungkook and Taehyung usually wrap themselves around you like a living blanket to keep the shivers at bay. Nosing into your spine.
Only Hoseok and Yoongi usually attend your appointments. They're a little too intense for the others. Sometimes Jin comes. But he's the most likely to burst into tears and then you end up comforting him instead of the other way around.
Hoseok is usually good up until they actually put the needle into your skin. He'd broken a chair the first time he'd seen it. Gripping the wooden arm so hard as he heard your intake of pain that it had splintered under his hand.
There's a genetic component to being a pack alpha. Jungkook has the gene too. Hoseok has always been a little stronger, a little more resilient than the others.
Hoseok has only ever missed one of your appointments. Last year, the year Hoseok was enlisted for your shot. You'd spent weeks telling him he didn't have to take a day off for it (he'd been saving all of his leave for his packmate's ruts and your heat, but even then Hoseok knew he was going to have to miss one or two.) You said you'd be fine, that the shot wouldn't be too bad, you've had them before after all.
Only you hadn't been alright, you'd had to be hospitalized for it. It wasn't all that uncommon, omega's have weak immune systems and yours has always been particularly fragile.
Hoseok hardly remembers it. The static through the line, he'd hardly been able to hear Yoongi's voice over the roar of his heartbeat through his ears. An emergency call from Yoongi, something about an allergic reaction, anaphylaxis.
He'd have gone awol if his commander hadn't granted him emergency leave. His brain hadn't stopped roaring until he'd draped himself draped across your hospital bed after making an 8-hour car ride in 6 hours. Beret off, spilled and fallen onto the floor, face crumpling the second Yoongi rose from your opposite bedside.
"Namjoon will be here in an hour, she tried to stay up for you but the medication they had to give her made her drowsy."
Hoseok hadn't been able to speak, to respond to him. The sight of you in the bed. Small looking. The cannula. Supplying your body with oxygen because it's not getting enough. Everything screaming at Hoseok's instincts wrong wrong wrong. Fight protect keep safe.
Hoseok was terrified.
They'd given him a tranquilizer to stop him from pacing outside your door. Apparently its a normal occurrence in the relatively empty but well maintained omega's only wing of the hospital. Guards watch him with nervous expressions as they patrol the halls.
After that, he'd been a little more susceptible to Yoongi's gentle request that Hoseok should come sit by your bedside table. And what started as sitting turned into nuzzling into your hand turned into closing his eyes for just a moment.
You'd been rubbing your hands over his shaved head by the time he'd woken. He'd been so sure he'd been dreaming it, but Your honey voice is so soothing after hearing nothing but shouting to work harder and run faster you're so weak private Jung, can you even hit the target for weeks and weeks that it felt a bit like a lullaby to hear his own name spoken so gently, with such tenderness.
"Hobi, Oh Hobi. You didn't have to come all this way for me."
~-~
This is thankfully not that. Thankfully you're sick with just a cold and not the virus. But Hoseok doesn't take any sickness lightly. Not when it comes to you.
Modern medicine has come a long way, but still not far enough. Omegas are so rare a good portion of the population even abandons the idea of having an omega entirely. They’re not exactly a necessity for beta’s but for alphas- it’s a different story.
Hoseok can feel the hum of scent deprivation under his skin. The itch unlike any other. Hoseok cannot smell you on him, not his clothes or his skin. Nothing beyond the smell of sweat and alpha annoyance. Through any other performance, he’d at least have the scent of his pack on him. But not tonight, not until June when everyone will finally finally be together.
You’d been sleeping through the morning when he left, and he’d been reluctant to wake you on account of how you’d fallen asleep last night- or hadn’t. You’d been sniffling and coughing the whole night away. Hoseok had kept watch over you through it all.
What had started as a brief tickle in your throat around lunch yesterday (an easy meal- vegetables for Hobi and a tad bit of meat for you, fed from his own chopsticks, every brief shake of your head met with a disapproving look that you have long stopped disagreeing with. Hobi knows how much you are to eat, there's no reason why you need to worry your pretty little head about anything). Had developed into a fever and a few minutes of terror while they waited for the test to develop.
You've never gotten the sickness before but Hoseok knows how it would start; a feverishness like heat, then tiredness. And then all of a sudden you'd go to nest and wouldn't get up again without medical intervention. Might not get up at all. Might stop breathing- might-
He repeats it to himself again. That you're not sick with it. That this is just an ordinary cold. He has no reason to be so on edge.
The fans tonight could tell there was something wrong. Could spot it. Hoseok knows they're wondering if it's you. You aren’t a secret, but you are a private matter. A person that only the pack and the staff know by name. There have been pictures and speculation. They don't hide you but your last name is not public knowledge. You keep your face hidden almost constantly when you know you’re going to be spotted with them.
You are not someone to be jealous of but to be jealous for. You are not someone to be stalked or photographed. What they ordinarily tolerate out of necessity, they never do with you.
But alpha's are not always good at controlling their instincts. There have been incidents, not always because of them or their lack of control either. Jungkook had almost come to blows with an alpha who dared to sniff in your direction just before Jungkook's enlistment, a month or so after Hobi's.
~-~
The flash of the cameras are dizzying. There's a hush that falls over the room as you and Jungkook enter, before the roar redoubles- twice as loud as before.
You're mostly used to it by now, but still some things- like Jungkook close behind you, his big hand on the small of your back make it easier to tolerate. The press of people on either side of you is stifling, press and fans, guards and security. There's only a few moments of claustrophobia from the car to the showcase.
You hold your breath, and Jungkook stays close. It would be easier if your other alphas were here, but you're getting used to having them far away, to having them only on your phone or during evening phone calls. It's been enough months that Hoseok has stopped apologizing for leaving you and Namjoon has started making promises of all the things you'll do once you're home.
But still, sometimes you wake in the nest in the morning, big and empty of bodies, and feel so lonely it aches.
It will be worse when Jungkook goes. You know it will. Which is why you're tagging along today, why you've tagged along to schedules you'd normally avoid.
Sometimes you don't believe what hoseok says, the way that the world talks about omegas, they say you're more delicate, you're more breakable. Most of the time, you don't believe it.
Other times, like this, your anxiety rushes at you, and their touch becomes the only teather you have outside of the fear, the nervousness, the pounding tumble of your heart that ached for confined soft spaces, warmth and enclosed safety. A nest.
But you do away with your instincts today, in favor of staying close. A few more weeks, you only have a few more weeks until Jungkook goes and you don't want to waste a single minute.
One moment you're in front of Jungkook, walking almost instep with him as he leads you through rows and rows of security. You know what you'll look like in magazines later, wide eyes perched over a mask, hat with bunny ears flopping. Swallowed whole by a jacket, small next to your alpha. That there will be articles and breakdowns of your every movement.
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Being an omega can get a little frustrating. You're not the only one scrutinized this way, most omega's that mate with public figures are the topic of the tabloids. You'd flopped against hoseok's chest the first time it happened, "they only saw my forehead! how are they talking about skincare routine when they don't even know?" he'd just pressed his forhead against yours, nuzzling your nose playfully.
"I hate to tell you that you should get used to it but- the press are just kind of like that."
Most of them keep their distance. tipping their head as you pass. it doesn't make you weirded out or nervous, it just is this way. You take off your hat and mask the second you're clear of the doors and fans, about to turn and say something to Jungkook. You don't see the dark figure at the end of the hall leaning forward ever so slightly.
But Jungkook does.
it happens so quick you can't even blink, one moment you're stumbling, turning to say something to him, a security gaurd reaching out to steady you- The next moment you're holding Jungkook back around his waist, blood on his knuckles and a growl on the air.
More than one security guard and staff gets between you and the other alpha. He spits blood on the floor. Some of it hits your legs.
Your ears ring, and you can't hear anything as Jungkook shoves you behind him. Two other security guards have to hold him back. Hands shaking out of their hold.
They'd still been shaking, as he used a wet wipe to clean the blood off of your legs after.
You just don't sniff at an omega without permission, let alone reach to touch them. Let alone an omega with a pack.
"Jeon Jungkook! No! Bad!"
You don't like using their full names, never have, it's always pet names with you. Hoseok can already hear the gentle velvet of your voice crooning softly, "Hobi, are you okay? Do you want to come lay down in my nest for a bit? Can you come here alpha? I want to scent you."
You are the only person for whom his instincts bend. You are the only person he ever willingly takes orders from. The fight worn out of his body at your simplest request.
Hoseok takes Emergency pack alpha leave precious and dwindling by the month, just to handle the situation again. But disciplining his pack takes precedent.
A tidy settlement had kept the situation from leaking to the press, although Hoseok could hardly blame Jungkook for acting aggressively. His head had hung the entire time Hoseok been home. Jungkook doesn't like disappointing the pack alpha. Especially not now, when they don't have days and weeks of proximity and routine to get back on even ground. Not when Hoseok only has 24 hours, and has to leave in the morning.
It only takes one touch for Hoseok to bring him to his knees. A hand on the back of his neck the second they're clear of the outside. The pack house, dusty and mostly empty. Jungkook's mouth has been running wild since Hoseok first walked into the company building. Apologizing to anyone who would listen.
But Hoseok hadn't accepted the apology until they'd been in private.
"Do you know why you're sorry Jungkook?"
You're sat across Hoseok's lap for it, sniffling slightly. Soothed by the rhythmic brush of his hand down his back, your cold nose pressed against his throat. He hadn't even bothered to change out of his uniform before this. Jungkook is on his knees between Hoseok's parted thighs. Inches from you and kept at a distance by sheer obedience. Hoseok admires Jungkook's restraint. Not every alpha could resist nuzzling into an omega's thighs, especially one so close.
Hoseok knows his weaknesses. Jungkook is also a good alpha. Hoseok's most obedient one. But even then he's not even looking at Hobi when as he kneels.
Jungkook looks at you and blinks back tears. Hoseok wants to lick at the alpha's pretty canines, wants to press your faces together and make you kiss. Make it messy just for him. He redoubles his hold on you. holding you tighter. You lap at his scent gland, trying to soothe yourself, nearly suckling at the skin of his throat.
"For offending our omega and...for putting her in danger?" Jungkook's hands slid down Hoseok's calf muscles, but Hoseok just tipped his feet wider. Giving Jungkook more room.
The ball of your foot pressed against Jungkook's shoulder, undeterred, the younger alpha only tries to nose up your leg. Hoseok nudges between his legs with his boot and Jungkook makes a noise- somewhere between a whine and a growl.
"Look at me. not at her." Hoseok keeps him still, and yet- there's only seconds before Jungkook's attention is diverted from the pack alpha's face to yours.
"And how did you do that? How did you put her in danger? Tell alpha."
"For Fighting? For hitting him?"
Hoseok is quick to reassure him with a hand on his chin, rubbing across Jungkook's cheek. "No no no, you did that perfectly. Alpha is so proud of you for defending our omega like that, try again."
"Because" Jungkook is having a hard time stringing his words together with Hoseok's boot pressed to certain places. But that's the point. Hoseok owns all of him like this, the sole of his rubber boot pressed against his knot, gently pressing it snug between Jungkook's body and the unyielding weight of his dominance. The other alpha pants openly. Hoseok can tell that it hurts. Can tell that Jungkook likes it to by the way his mouth opens in a soundless groan.
"Because I did it infront of her?"
"Yes. And why was that bad?"
"Because stress isn't good for omega's? They're too fragile for it." That Jungkook does not say shakily. He, like Hoseok, knows it in his bones that he speaks the truth.
hoseok is perilously weak not to reward him.
"That's right. Good boy. My smart boy. Pull your pants down for alpha and show me your knot." Jungkook pushes into Hoseok's hand like a puppy, letting out a shaky relieved breath at the words. You squirm a little, stilling when you feel Hoseok's hands go firm on your waist. A wordless command to keep still and stay where alpha wants you.
Jungkook rushes to comply, eager to be good. cock popping free, hitting his toned stomach with a light plop. Resting his chin on Hoseok's knee once he's finished.
He waits. You squirm. Looking at him over your shoulder and then at Hoseok. blushing furiously. unnerved by jungkook's complete obedience. Like you're struggling not to give it to.
You rub your nose up and down the column of his throat like you're trying to soothe yourself. "M' not fragile." Hoseok pulls back to peck your nose, humming and willing to play along. His hands on you are gentle, almost too gentle.
"Of course you're not. My sweet little pup. You’re so so brave, you didn’t even cry for that long and alpha is so so proud."
He adjusts his gaze to Jungkook, who has resorted to clinging to Hoseok's legs again for comfort. Pretending he's not rutting his hips in tentative circles and making a mess of Hoseok's pant leg. Eyes teary and worked up. Teeth half bared in aggression like he wants to submit completely but can't quite will himself too. his alpha bubbling up.
"It was just...Scary." You say, quiet and soft. And when you reached down to touch Jungkook's hair, Hoseok lets you.
Jungkook sags into the touch. He chases your scent gland taking deep grateful lungfuls of the scent there. lips parted against your skin. The ache between his thighs forgotten. Teeth almost pressed and bared. But he wouldn't dare nip at you, not when you're sat in Hoseok lap.
This time when apologies dribble from his lips, Hoseok feels like he means it. "I'm sorry- I'm sorry. I won't do that again in front of her- I didn't mean too-"
Hoseok presses his shoe against Jungkook's cock again, This time there's no fabric guarding the harsh dig of the leather and tred from dimpling Jungkook's skin. The alpha yelps. Thighs shaking with the effort it takes him to stay still. Body going rigid.
When Hoseok takes his shoe off, there's a bit of white wet liquid, staining the dark leather. Hoseok's smile is near feral.
"All will be forgiven, Don't you want to show hyung how good you can be? I think you owe our pup a little stress relief Kookie." Hoseok simply shifts you in his lap. Draping one leg over either knee. Fingers dipping between your legs, low. Fingers parting warmth and sweet. Jungkook's blubbering cuts off.
"All you have to do it open your mouth and apologize."
~-~
Jungkook had been sorry, for almost inadvertently pushing your capabilities. The whole world treats omega's like this- like they are inherently fragile.
You are someone that the fans would never shove or push at. It's generally considered a taboo to be rough with omegas at all and more than one idol has had to issue a public apology after tugging their omega's hand a little too roughly at the airport or through crowds of fans.
At least outside of private matters. Behind closed doors, it's more up to what the individual omega wants. At least that's what Hoseok's learning with you.
It's also considered the bare minimum to provide for your omega an extravagant life. That at least- Hoseok does not struggle with. It's easy to spoil you, instinctual almost. To protect and provide and please.
All in all Hoseok is more straightforward that you might expect, he'll give his pack everything so long as they hold nothing back in return.
Being on tour with him means you can try things you wouldn’t ordinarily eat and go places you wouldn’t normally go. To art museums and shopping districts for pretty little diamond studded collars and comfortable designer nesting supplies. Café's for famous desserts shaped like flowers and figs, and even the exclusive omega section at Fao Schwartz.
The packages for that have already been sent back to Seoul where they no doubt fill the entryway of the pack house. Probably carefully unwrapped and organized by yoongi, still in their silk bags on the border of your personal nest at home. A custom-made monstrosity that Hoseok had made for you and Yoongi designed that cost a small fortune.
But Hoseok had no qualms with him spending the pack's money on that. Not even back at the beginning of your courtship and relationship. Nothing but the best for you.
But delicate requests for room service and delivery from a restaurant you’d wanted to try with a promise for more at the next tour stop are now forgotten. Everything is forgotten now that you're sick.
He’s aware he’s been followed, his manager, a bodyguard, a makeup Noona trail behind him as he stalks in the direction of the dressing room. Where his clothes are, where he can get his things and leave. He can feel the rage polishing his canines already.
It makes his grin wider, teeth sharper in the privacy of darkness. Hoseok is snarling at the shadows, the toothy grin crazed as he finally makes it back to the dressing room. Tearing off his jacket popping the buttons and ripping the hem of it in the process.
It can be fixed before the next performance. Hoseok would rip 100 jackets to get home to you even a second quicker.
Unlike usual, no one offers him congratulations and he doesn’t offer any thanks or encouragement. His hands shake as he bends down to undo his shoes, all but yanking them off of him. His necklaces get tangled around his fingers, 7 of them- one for each packmate, and the second he starts to tear at them. Someone reaches for him- to stop him.
Hoseok turns and nearly lunges at Mr. Lee.
Hoseok imagines it perfectly, teeth sinking in, popping through skin and blood. The image is so visceral that Hoseok almost confuses it with reality. The familiar iron tang on the back of his throat what his instincts demand.
He stops himself just narrowly before he can get to his throat. He loses a growl. A sound so bone chilling that no one dare moves a muscle.
Only pure familiarity keeps him from actually biting the other man. the fact that Hoseok's alpha has sort of identified him as someone safe. But the scent of alpha aggression in the air makes everyone, even the lowliest stagehand, pause where they’re gathered. Hoseok bares his teeth and breathes. Struggling to contain himself.
Mr. Lee doesn't flinch, doesn't even raise his eyebrows at Hobi, looking at him with that same impassive expression. Not intimidated in the slightest by Hoseok snapping his teeth.
His hand smooth over the necklaces. He lets go of Hoseok gently.
Honestly, he should be more careful, they were gifts from the pack. The pack like matching their clothes, their shoes, their jewelry, and matching pack items are fairly common, especially in larger packs.
Hoseok in particular likes to have one thing from each of them on his person at most times, especially when he's traveling. Especially since he hasn't given any of them mating bites yet (none of them could stomach the idea of doing it before service). A little memento to keep them close. The biggest necklaces are from Yoongi and Namjoon and the smallest one is from you. Each of them cost no small sum, they're monetarily valuable as well as sentimental to Hoseok.
Hoseok doesn't thank Mr.Lee as he holds his breath, counts to seven, and goes back to taking them off, this time more gently without yanking at the clasps hard enough to bend the metal. even though he's breathing heavy. even though his hands are shaking. Hoseok struggles but there’s already someone behind him undoing the clasps and finally, it feels like he can breathe.
“Sorry. I’m fine I’m fine just-” Hoseok scrubs his hand across his face. Holding the necklaces in one hand. The diamonds sway. long strands handing towards the floor.
“Can I change in the car?” Hoseok is not asking, even if it’s phrased as a question.
With the way Seejin is looking at him, Hoseok knows the answer, and that he doesn’t want to say it. “Fine just- hurry.” Everyone knows why he's on edge, why he’s off.
Everyone here is well acquainted with the pack's omega.
The first few shows you'd ever attended, you'd been quite the distraction. Falling asleep in Namjoon's lap during his makeup. tugging on Jungkook's shirt while he was getting dressed, playfully feeling Jimin's hair while he was warming up and cutting off his notes. Unwilling to let any of them go on stage without being scented. a reminder as you lingered in the wings of the stage, in their peripheral vision that made even Hoseok stumble.
Occasionally you still attend their concerts to remind them of the power you hold, that as much as you give in to their impulses, they're also beholdent to yours. The leash goes both ways.
You're a little bit of a legend among the makeup noonas, managers, and bodygaurds. Because before enlistment and before any of this, before you’d been theirs, you’d been here working alongside them- a member of the support staff.
~-~
Omegas aren’t officially banned from working, not in any legal or governmental capacity.
Every few years some asshole petitions the current government to put some ban on them working and demand they remain registered to one alpha and one alpha only as is natural. But in all reality, the world could not survive without omegas at least taking some modicum of independence for themselves.
A good number of them appreciate their freedom. Just not you.
Hoseok doesn't like to consider the world where there are no working Omega's, a world where they aren't allowed to help. Now that he's seen the military, and seen what it's like when alphas are taken outside of their normal routine and pack structure and put all together. The idea is even more unsettling.
Without omega's, alphas would break out into all-out war.
Hoseok imagines The rage. The quiet of devastation of murder out of necessity. Alphas already have a hard time restraining their instincts even with an omega. Every few weeks there are stories of some alpha going feral on the news. Can you imagine going 8 weeks without being scented? That sounds terrible. I don't think I'd last 4.
Omega’s are too gentle to do most jobs that aren't specifically designed for them. Omegas are sensitive, in need of protection from just about everything. No fear is too small, not fear of thunder or fear of darkness. Anything that can lurk can be killed, and alphas will kill for omegas. It’s a culturally accepted fact.
No alpha can maintain their instincts for long and keep them under control without an omega scenting them docile at least once a week, it's biological, a necessity as much as drinking water or eating. For beta's its slightly less- they get more snapish than feral. they need it maybe once a month.
Hoseok has still seen seokjin's hands shake, has still suffered through more than one sleepless night with jimin. His body and his brain fighting his instinct to stay awake.
There are modern solutions for age old problems of course. Before you the pack subsided the same way the rest of the population did. There are upscale scenting parlors on just about every street corner in the city, private institutions designed with open air booths or similar to cafes that pay out omega's handsomely for a little acess to their wrists or if they're feeling particularly brave- their throats.
Most priced too expensive for the average person to afford, let alone a couple of broke trainees drunk on foolish dreams. There are alternatives for most of the population. Synthetic omega scent (that always smelled too chemical to Hoseok) available for purchase at every convenience store. Fortified drinks with omega pheromones that sort of work that keep you awake when you need to make deadlines. Yoongi used to overindulge in them.
If you're willing to pay extra, you can even buy something that's actually been scented by an omega. They have boutiques for it.
Although very very few packs can have an omega- most idol companies at least employ one designated omega scenter. They’re becoming more and more popular. A perk, similar to a 401k or unlimited PTO. See you don't need to worry about who will scent you next. See, if you're having a bad day or need help pushing through, we have what many don't.
And still- despite their necessity. Not all societies worship omegas. In certain pockets of the world, omegas are thought of as spoiled and lazy. Some are even kept secret to keep their freedoms, their omegan instincts suppressed until later by medications.
Either consensually or non-consensually in your case. You hadn’t known, not until you were well into your teenage years and nearly a legal adult, that you were an omega. Your instincts remained mostly dormant (and what didn't stay dormant you neglected). sometimes you still struggle to understand what your omega wants.
The others just think you're a little more spirited than a regular omega. But Hoseok knows. Hoseok's alpha has always been able to sniff it out.
Hoseok's blood still boils when he thinks about what your parents did to you. They did it in the name of protecting you but still. He'll still rant if given the opportunity (as long as it doesn't set you on edge). Hoseok's ranting is usually met with understanding from the other alphas and chagrined comfort from the betas in his pack.
The alphas understand that the anger never really goes away. But Seokjin and Jimin are different. They get a little spooked when Hoseok shows how truly angry he is.
Jimin usually exits the room when the others decide to indulge hoseok when he wants to hash it out again. He and Taehyung and Yoongi and Namjoon will find themselves in Yoongi's studio with a twelve-pack or they'll hit golf balls off the roof of the company building when the restlessness of unmet anger really tares at them. Hashing it out yet again until the rage has quieted to a dulcet murmur and Hoseok feels like writing songs about it again.
But not now. Hoseok can't calm himself down right now- Not right now when you’re back in the hotel room running a fever. A fucking fever.
You can’t blame Hoseok. He’s protective of you for a reason. It’s not only the omega plague that has him concerned but…your general health.
It's been harder to resist the temptation to worry since after his military service. Without all of them here to temper his anger and calm him down, Hoseok's alpha has been running a little wild. Bubbling up under the surface. Constantly close and whispering in his ear.
You even thing you see it come out on stage sometimes. Sometimes when he commands the crowd or asks them to roar for him it feels almost like he's using alpha voice with them.
You’d noticed the shift in Hoseok the second he’d come back. The second he took off his uniform for the last time after 18 months. His instincts were closer to the surface than ever before. He was so quiet. So silent. None of his usual electric energy, none of his quiet sureness that you were so used to.
Hoseok hates to admit it and hates it when anyone brings it up, but military service had changed him (and not in a good way).
It’s a good thing he has you- if it wasn’t for you- Hoseok doesn’t know if he’d have been able to find his way back to himself.
~-~
Coming home went something like this:
His eyes were wide through the live, open and unsure, a dazed look, almost shell shocked. Trembling with the new weight of old feelings. The position is familiar but the anxiety at his every move being watched- is unmatched. Like Jamais vu. How did being in front of the camera get so scary?
Hoseok used to be so good at this- at being an idol. They used to do this all the time almost without thought before enlistment. Are his movements too jerky? Can the fans tell that he's about to burst into tears? Can they tell? do they notice?
Is Hoseok not good at this anymore?
Leaving his station had felt like walking away from a nightmare only to find himself still asleep, somewhere between a night terror and a sweet dream. Because you were there in the van. You were there. A small body that nearly collided with his with how fast you pushed yourself to grab him the second he'd opened the door, A hand on your back and Hobi's neck, Yoongi close behind.
The cameras had only gotten one picture. Small arms wrapped around his waist and a blurry profile of a face pressed into his stomach.
Now, he listens to the sound of Yoongi prattling to Jin in the kitchen. sitting on the edge of your bed in the packhouse trying to decompress. there's an invitation to shower off the scent of the barracks before dinner that remains unfulfilled. The air smells like garlic and gochujang. the tang of ssamjang too. Smoke and fire. hoseok still hasn't undressed.
But Hoseok just sits on the bed. Hoseok can't move, lead weights attached to his extremities. Frozen there. Listening to the three of you and scenting the air.
the whole house smells like you, Jin, and Yoongi. just the three of you. none of the other alpha's, not Jimin. Hoseok never thought it would smell strange to him. Never thought that it would smell even a little unfamiliar.
Yoongi is all tangerine goodness. Bright and fragrant just on the edge of ripeness. Jin is soft as a peach, sweet and gentle. But You- oh you-
You smell like warm berry jam and nighttime summer air. Something drippy sweet and dark. Like the hint of sunshine and warmth and like syrup moving slow. Those early summer evenings where you can still smell the sun on the air even though it's already set.
Hoseok breathes it in through his teeth, Gritted. On edge. Alpha close under his skin.
Jin's teasing and Yoongi's low murmur fill the air around your bird chirps and squeaks, even when he falls silent. Absorbing it all, adjusting. It's only been a few hours. Only a few. Hoseok should cut himself some slack for not immediately being chipper and lighthearted.
Yoongi sounds relieved and excited even from here. There’s expensive champagne to celebrate (Hoseok hardly tasted his glass when he downed it, trying to calm his nerves) and a home-cooked meal that Hoseok has been looking forward to for months.
He hears the murmurs too, Yoongi breathing heavy, tense. Words he thinks Hoseok can't hear. "He's so skinny hyung, I saw him take off his jacket and I could see every tendon."
"I know, I know, but he's back now, he's safe, that's all we can change now. At least it's over for him."
"But the others."
"Baby I know." A quiet whine, a chirp. "don't you worry your little head about it darling, you just sit there, would you like to try the first piece? it's almost done. You don't need to save it for alpha, he'd want you to have it." It takes everything in Hoseok not to storm into the other room and feed it to you himself.
Hoseok knows what he looks like, knows that he's skinnier than normal, that he looks underfed and somehow more muscular than before. starved for something that isn't food maybe. the military keeps alphas well fed but not satiated. feeds them enough protein and wolfsbane to make them stronger and yet more susceptible.
But in the meantime worry and anxiety have eaten away at him. His cheeks are hollow and his thin birdlike bones look like they've been wrapped with corded muscle. You'd squeezed them appreciatively earlier, the same as you had with Jin. And Yoongi's eye roll had been hassling. But even the other alpha smelled pleased.
"Yah what am I going to do, if they all come back like this it's going to be me and you against the world pup." You'd giggled, and Hobi had delighted you by letting you hang from his arm.
hoseok couldn't explain why when he looks at you he feels like crying. you're wrapped in your most comforting clothing, an old sweatshirt of his that he hasn't worn in two years and has a new hole at the hem like you've worn it every day in his absence. Giggling softly as you try and hang. Yoongi's hand twitches like he's sort of ready to catch you incase you teeter.
"You're so strong now! Bet you're stronger than Jungkookie even! you can lift me all the time not just when you wanna show off!"
"He could always lift you pup," Jin had crooned looking down at you, a head taller, stooping to drop a kiss on your forehead. His knowing smirk light and teasing. "Hobi just feels like lifting you is more for him than for you so he resists, kind of like how I feel about hugging- like this."
Jin has the longest arms but for what he can't reach Yoongi makes up for. The second he reaches around you and Hobi- Yoongi mirrors him. Both of them are in sync and Hoseok mistimed. off beat. Missing a step. Yoongi and Jin squeeze both of them pushing their chests together and trapping both you and Hobi in a Yoonjin sandwich.
Hoseok can feel how gently they do it. going slow so as to not aggravate his instincts. His alpha cocks his head, unused to the careful affection. They keep squeezing until both of you devolve into giggles and until Hoseok is laughing for real. Unbidden, face crumpling towards the end.
The pack house is part of a gated community. Insulated from the public eye by high walls and a guarded gate. It’s a mixture of modern Western architecture on the outside and traditional Korean wood tones and airy skylights on the interior.
Everyone has a bedroom although they more often than not find themselves scattered in pairs or trios. When the pack doesn't have a schedule to attend to the following day and your health allows for it- they pile into your bedroom heaped all over each other. Unworried about sleeping in uncomfortable positions or needing to wake up everyone to pee.
It's adjacent to your nest room and the kitchen on the ground floor- because you were as equally as prone to bumping into things and tripping as Namjoon. The pack couldn’t bear the idea of you having to go up and down the stairs every night.
You could call them overprotective and you would be right. Your comment about Hoseok carrying you wasn't just teasing. You're lucky your alpha's keep you on such a long (and thankfully metaphorical) leash.
Many many omegas find themselves in more controlling situations than you do. Monitored, and kept safe by personal bodyguards or packmates (often times beta's or lower ranking alphas whose sole job in the pack structure is to protect and guard the pack's omega).
The closest thing you have to that is Jungkook and Taehyung. You don't think it's that over the top. In some parts of the world omega's occasionally disappear. Snatched from street corners or stolen from nests in the dead of night. Usually just after the presentation when they haven't found a pack yet to keep them safe.
You're lucky that the pack only sometimes ask to carry you up and down the stairs. You're lucky they don't have the habit of 'omega wearing' as some more traditional all-alpha packs do. No one's kept omega's like that- as little more than pets- in generations. You don't live in a country that requires omegas to wear a collar when they're out in public.
But still, sometimes it's hard not to be protective. You're used to most of it, every time that you so much as pick up a butter knife someone's shushing you and taking it from you. When you bend down to tie your shoes someone is already on their knees before you. Your jacket is always zipped for you, mittens always on, scarf tucked. Whenever you try and put a shirt over your head someone is aiding you. You've lost track of the times that you've heard them say "let alpha do it."
Jimin doesn't even ask, he just glares and puts his hands on his hips if you struggle too much. Surprisingly stern when you feel like you want to squirm or struggle. He's one of the very few packmates whose not uncomfortable landing a swat over your behind or making you write lines.
Jimin is very very particular about the rules. there are others that apply to the rest of them like 'no staying at the studio over night' and 'pt once a week, no butts' and 'no skipping meals for practice' but there are other ones specifically for you that go a little over the top.
Rules like I will tell my packmates when I'm feeling overstimulated and I will not go places in public alone without someone there to protect me. I will not behave in a way that puts my physical wellbeing in danger even inadvertently. If I go into omegaspace I will go and get someone no matter what they're doing because I cannot be left alone unsupervised.
Other things too like- when i feel needy i will not touch myself like a greedy little pup when I have 7 healthy packmates to fuck me. When I want a knot I will not demand it but ask for it nicely and say please and thank you. I will not take out my plug after breeding until Jiminie or Hoseokie or Namjoonie has told me I can. When I want bruises during a spanking or a settling I will clear it with every alpha first starting with Hoseokie and then Yoongi and Namjoon, then Jinnie, and Jungkookie and Taehyungie, only then will Minnie take you over his lap.
And you'll say please and thank you.
You're getting a bit ahead of yourself. Jimin is a very very particular beta. You miss him so much it aches. You miss all of them so much it hurts you, manifests as a physical ache in your temples or under your ribs. A breathless furious need to burrow away where no one could see you. unsafe without your familiar cadre of packmates.
Most of the ways that they take care of you are completely innocent. A tangle in your hair is hardly there before someone asks you to come sit between their thighs, brush in hand. You rarely ever have to sit on your own, a rotating schedule of who gets to have you in their lap during meal times. You haven't picked out your own clothes in years- someone's always there to do it for you.
At least not before enlistment.
After enlistment, you'd learned to do alot for yourself again. With Yoongi home in the evenings, it wasn't quite as lonely as it could have been but still-
It's the little things, that you'd struggled to accept at first that you ended up missing the most. It's insane to you now how you used to live before. That you were used to being independent and uncared for.
Maybe the truth is you don't hate all of it. It was so much nicer than being hissed at and shunned. You don't hate it when you fall asleep in the car or the couch and Namjoon or Hoseok carries you to your bed. You don't hate it when you're in public and someone is always gripping your arm or hold your wrist and guiding over every uneven doorway or step down. holding the back of your head when they guide you to bite. You don't mind the "hold my hand pup" or "Someone's too small for that, let alpha do it."
It's strange sure, but it's a little true. even when you don't want to admit it.
It's strange when Seokjin blows on your spoon of soup before letting you take a bite. When the alphas growl at you if you linger too close to someone who's not them- But it makes you feel comfortable and cared for in a way that you weren't always used to.
Treasured. That's the word for it. You're their treasure. You don't cringe about it when you remember anymore. (The truth is that the pack has made you a bit spoiled now. You don't resist their babying nearly as much as you used too).
It had felt like something of a game at the beginning. You asked for things to see if you could and they fulfilled it, only to shrink before what they actually wanted to give. But eventually you got so used to them handling everything that even when you'd squirmed and struggled and called too much you'd trusted them enough to let them push- and you'd eventually given in.
Maybe you'd be more used to it if you were born an omega (you were born an omega, you try to remind yourself. It just feels like you weren't sometimes).
Now their bedrooms are spaces that you haunt when you miss them. when they're home there are still moments when they each need their own space to either sleep without temptation or decompress after their busy schedules. It serves no one if they always wake each other up by leaving early for filming, or practice, or meetings.
The only bedroom that’s fit with a bed big enough for all of them is your bedroom, more out of necessity than anything else since your bed is the defacto favorite. You’d tried for a normal bed when you’d first moved in but found it quickly overrun and too crowded by packmates. Giving you the largest bedroom was something Hoseok insisted upon.
His own bedroom is now across the courtyard next to Yoongi’s, hardly used. Last time Hoseok checked, Yoongi had taken to storing some of his recording equipment in there, had propped the old bed up against the wall to make room for a pseudo recording studio. Before enlistment Hoseok rarely spent a night away from you, only if you were sick again and if he had an early schedule and didn’t want to wake you- and even then- he'd just rather steal away to someone else's room rather than sleep on his own.
The packhouse is arranged in a big rectangle with an open-air courtyard at the center. The soil there is crammed close with as many plants as Namjoon can stuff there. Tended to by staff twice a week now that the alpha isn’t home regularly to look after his precious camellia and cloud-pruned spruces. The cherry tree sits stubby, blooms just tempting to burst but not here yet. by spring time a small patch of grass will sit studded with clovers and small flowers, a spot for you to lounge in the middle of the day and curl up like a cat in a puddle of sunshine.
Hoseok and Yoongi are on the other side of the courtyard adjacent to the entrance. close to it just incase anyone tried to enter. The rest of the pack is upstairs. In their various bedrooms scattered between the workout room and entertainment center a larger studio space and a tiny art room where taehyung stores his canvases.
Now, Hoseok sits in your empty bedroom. Trying to decompress. Emphasis on trying.
It's hard when every time he shuts his eyes a new memory assaults him. It's hard to stay present. Hoseok knows his breathing is getting more and more ragged the longer he spends alone. It's so quiet here in the pack house. Hoseok's alpha doesn't like it.
Hoseok closes his eyes and a gun goes off. The feeling of a gun in his hand is heavy and impersonal. Hot and sweaty beneath his fingertips.
He opens them and sees your striped red and pink robe hanging by the door, side by side with Taehyung's green and yellow one. Yours warn and his brand new but both of them purchased on the same day. Taehyung just hasn't been here to use it.
He closes them and a sergeant is yelling in his face. Prodding his shoulder with their finger until his body moves. Hoseok can feel the growl in his throat threatening to burst.
Hoseok opens his eyes and notes that you've dropped one of your heated stuffed animals on the ground, that it's rolled half under the bed, he retrieves it and sets it on the bedside table.
Hoseok blinks again and Hoseok must not be composed enough. He must lift his lip because they're yelling at him to drop and give 50. But it's better than being on night watch for a week. Better than sleepless nights spent staring into the darkness and snow, not better than your bed here, plush and soft, smelling like good summer evenings.
Hoseok undresses in the barrack bathroom shoving the second someone comes too close, body-calling threats before he's even turned to see who it is. Hot water is better than the cold that digs into Hoseok's body like it's something with teeth and claws.
On night watch near the northern border. His fear plays tricks on him, you can only look into the darkness for so long before your mind plays tricks on you. You can only hunt monsters and play at being a killer before you start to feel too real.
Hoseok takes a deep breath and counts to seven.
Tonight is supposed to be full of his favorite things. Marinated crispy beef and seafood that smells rich and buttery on the air, music playing low. Things that Hoseok hasn’t been able to indulge in in months.
Like Yoongi’s cooking and your head in his lap after. Winding down and going slow. Easy slowness warming up to it so that Hoseok can start to get used to living again. He'll go back to work tomorrow with Jinnie because he doesn't have time to waste but with this and everything else. He'll adjust.
Hoseok doesn't have to be asleep tonight by the zero hour and doesn't have to be up tomorrow morning for early drills. He can sleep as long as he wants and He's not going to be able to enjoy it at all. Not while he's so keyed up.
He tries and does his best. Breathing in and out to calm his heart rate, decompressing in the half-darkness of the bedroom. It feels a bit too much like a shrine. There in the corner is Taehyung's record player collecting dust, and there on the shelf is Jimin's cologne.
Jimin doesn't always like to hide his scent, lightly floral, something delicate like roses or lychee, fruity and divine for a beta. You like to press your face into his throat hard enough to make Jiminie giggle. Hard enough to tip him over. He's prone to exaggeration. But when it comes to others outside of the pack Jimin prefers to hide his scent with a light layer of cologne, pushing it just a little more subdued, a little more masculine.
Scents are up to everyone's preference, and a fair amount of betas wear scent blockers and Jimin prefers to keep his scent for only the pack to indulge in and enjoy.
Namjoon's bonsai tree sits in the nook by the window, clipping shears and a pair of reinforced gloves (because the pack can't even let you handle scissors without worrying a little). A piece of Jungkook's artwork hangs above the bed. something that was sort of a courting present for you, it's mostly artful splatters but when you look at it in just the right light- it almost looks like a pair of eyes. Pieces are everywhere but no pack.
All of it, all of those months of discipline and control are gone now. Done and over. Everything is in frightening detail. His civilian clothes sit folded, his jacket off in just his undershirt now.
You scented them. Hoseok can smell it even without bringing it to his nose. Everything feels a little too sensory, a little too close. Like Hoseok is too aware of his body and how different his surroundings are. He closes his eyes because he can't bear how strange his life all looks.
Hoseok knew he had to be the first alpha out, he knew that this would be difficult. That it would be hard for the others to adjust and that it would be beneficial for them all if the pack alpha came home and got settled first. Hoseok can't imagine any of his alpha pups feeling this way, can't imagine Taehyung or Namjoon or Jungkook feeling like this. So tremulous, so fragile, and yet so volatile.
There are no barked orders, there is no rigorous schedule here. Just the scrape of a wooden spoon across a pan and the quiet comfort of home (but hoseok still feels homesick). Jin's creaky laugh, and the burst of champagne. The shuffle of slippered feet across the floor too.
You’re talking to them in the kitchen, can hear Yoongi ask if you need help carrying Hoseok's champagne glass to him- a silly thing to say. but instincts are a little silly sometimes. Hoseok swallows back a lump in his throat at it.
It's not like you’re strangers again, he's had nightly phone calls and daily texts and a night or two of leave a month. It’s only been weeks since he last saw you. But keeping it together for a day before he goes back to the day-in-day-out rigor of the military is different than coming home for good.
This means more, this is different. Hoseok isn't going back. He's never going back.
He holds his breath and counts to seven, then 14, then 21, 35, 49, until he's half gasping.
Hoseok feels the need to catalog everything, the curtains pulled against the window. when did you stop sleeping with the sunlight?Your slippers by the door, new. The plates in the kitchen green instead of white. What happened to your old ones? When did you stop wearing bunny slippers and start wearing matching kitty ones with Yoongi? What more has Hoseok missed by not being here?
The scent of omega anxiety is on the air, scared and nervous. You’d been feeling all those things this morning when you’d woken. Hoseok can smell it on the bed. A nightmare? Have you been having nightmares? Is that what it is?
That’s not all Hoseok can smell, the dewy sweet scent of omega slick lingers too. Slightly stale. The spicey tang of another alpha’s arousal also tingles at Hoseok's nose. Yoongi’s and Jin’s if Hoseok breathes deep, tracing the fresh scent of tangerines and peaches, a pure scent that deepens. Soothing, a balm to his nerves and likely yours.
Whatever solution the others found for your anxiety was the intimate sort. Hoseok can tell.
Just like he can tell that someone had stripped the sheets, had taken your clothes- drenched with the scent of omega arousal, out of the basket in the corner and taken it out, probably to keep Hoseok from scenting it, probably to keep Hoseok from being on edge.
but instead of making him comforted, it just makes him feel like a failure.
Failure, failure of a pack alpha. what kind of alpha is he that he can't even handle a hint of a nightmare? He’s angry, and not at you or at Jin or Yoongi, but at the situation. At things he can't change.
Hoseok can't hear your light footsteps. Can hear them get closer and closer and closer until you're a silhouette in the doorway, lingering, unsure. Catching him like this, sat on the edge of the pack bed, legs parted, head in his hands.
Hoseok opens his eyes; a shadow cuts across the light that streams in, and he flinches before he can stop himself.
“Hobi? Are you alright?” You take a step closer to him and he tenses. You notice, stopping in your tracks. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Hobi-" you make to take another step closer and he lets out a sound, neither a hiss nor a whimper, neither a warning growl nor an invitation to come closer. Threat and protector blur.
For a second Hoseok's unsure if it's safe for you to be alone in the room with him.
“Stay back for a second pup, I’m sorry I’m just-” He takes off his beret, running his hands over his spiky hair. You probably thought that Hoseok went to shower minutes ago, not that he'd just be sitting here. “This is a little overwhelming.”
"What is? Us? Should we-" Hoseok nips it before your emotions have the chance to spiral.
“No. Not you- never you. Just-" he exhales shakily, trying to tame his racing heart rate. No matter how many times he tells himself there's no reason to be so on edge, Hoseok just can't will himself to relax.
"Is it being home? Being out?” Being free. It goes unspoken but Hoseok hears it and feels it regardless. He never imagined freedom to feel so stifling. To feel so unsure about his next move that he can't even make himself get up off this bed without worrying that he's going to lose control.
“No, it’s my instincts. I feel…” he trails off, resting a hand over his heart and hissing through it. You take a step back; his closed eyes shoot open and he lets out a growl. A real one. You freeze.
The tension is so thick in the air Hoseok could cut it with a dull knife. Do not let the omega escape, sweet omega, pretty omega, omega under your thumb. Protect devour provide devour, please.  His instincts are practically howling out in his ear. Loud, drowning out your words, the concern.
There is a furrow between your eyebrows, Hoseok wants to smooth it out and then bite your cheeks, round and flushed. Why are you blushing?
It takes him a second to answer. He registers you've asked him another question but he can't even hear it over the roar of his heartbeat.
“Sorry. Feel like I’m going crazy.”
“Oh you- oh Hobi. You’re alright. It’s over. We’re gonna be okay.” He hums skeptically when you say it. Blinking rapidly. He hopes its so dark you don't see the glassiness to his eyes. He doesn't respond right away. Can't.
It’s a reminder he’ll need again. He's going to need to hear you say it about a dozen times over the next week. You'll repeat it to him whenever his instincts get like this; whenever they go a little feral. A little haywire. He's not sure if he wants to burst into tears or stalk across the room and pin you to the wall.
It takes a second for Hoseok to work up the courage to be honest. A few seconds where you wait, swaying slightly in the doorway. You're wearing a matching pj set, the top has little iridescent buttons that catch the light like the eyes of a sea creature. The object of his every frustration and all his desires. The confession lurches from his chest, feels like a knife, and feels near violent. 
“I’m worried I don’t know how to be gentle with you anymore. They made me so- I’m worried I’ve forgotten. I don’t- I can’t-”
“What do you want to do right now? Tell me what you need.” your tone leaves no room for his anxiety and Hoseok realizes that his breathing has gone jagged. Hoseok is barely contained, teeth bared, alpha going wild at your scent. This time when you step closer, his alpha lets out a growl purr. A pleased sound, a soothing one. Tempting you closer. His legs are splayed, and a few more steps and you'd be standing in between them.
Hoseok’s hands are fisted in the sheets. He doesn't know if he can hold himself back. “Pup- I don’t, I can’t- i'm going to attack you-”
“Alpha.” Your voice cuts through the bullshit. You step closer and this time he doesn’t flinch away. You set your hand on his knee. Gentle. Barely touching. “What do you need alpha? What are your instincts telling you to do right now?”
He surges forward, stopping himself at the last moment. Your back against the door, swathed in shadow, a column of light flat across his face. Nose to nose with you. He grips your cheeks instead of your throat. You don't flinch and you don't sigh. Your reaction is immediate. Pushing into his touch. Hoseok's whole body is trembling with the effort it takes to stay gentle.
Hoseok hisses through his teeth. “My instincts are telling me you don’t smell like me anymore. That I need to bend you over this bed and make you mine from the inside out. Then take you out there and do the same to Yoongi and Jin until everyone's mine again. I want to devour you until there's no question who you belong to- until the whole world knows you're mine.”
He breaks off with a contemplative hum, and you realize how much his muscles are trembling, the dark tilt of his eyes as he stares at you, the dilation to his pupils. It’s faint, but it’s there. The physical strength it takes to hold himself back- you can't imagine.
he rests his forehead against yours. and his hand tightens to a fist on the wall. He lets your face go to skim his hand down your throat, feeling your pulse. Beating out a 120 tempo against his fingers. Then to your waist. Only a fool would mistake his touch for anything but claiming.
If you ran, Hoseok would catch you. You kind of want to do that, to run and have him hunt you down. You wouldn’t get far probably not even to the doorway. You imagine him taking you right there right where Yoongi and Jin could see.
They'd probably just tease you both and keep cooking.
Hoseok's hands smooth up and down your sides, from your spine to your ass. You let him touch. You're his in every way that matters anyway. You don't react or at least you try not too. You jump a little, when he squeezes, hissing appreciatively. His fingers continue to touch, to devour, slipping lower, palming, between your legs from behind.
He brushes something sensitive and you jerk. He growls. "Stay still omega."
"Trying alpha it's just-"
He undoes the buttons one by one on your top, hands surprisingly steady until it falls away from your shoulders. Hoseok nuzzles. Dark hair tucked beneath your chin as he mouths at your scent gland, hot breath dusting your skin. You're not worried or shy, Hoseok has seen all of you. You stay still until you feel the press of his teeth, jerking.
He squeezes your hip, reassuring you. The tension dissipates just a little.
"I’m so tired,” he laughs, and it sounds sad even to your own ears. He pulls back away from your skin, lips glossy and he rubs his hands over his face and then his hair. Your body burns when his hands leave your skin. It looks like it takes him real effort.
He leaves you there, standing half undressed by the doorway, shucking off his own shirt as he goes, setting it on the bed. Back to you.
There are bruises on his spine, up and down his back from a heavy pack or the strap of a gun you're not sure. You stumble forward, still half winded to touche them. Hoseok's body stills when he feels you come close.
You trace over them softly. Hoseok's breathing is so measured you know each breath must take herculean effort.
There have been so many weeks of teasing that have led up to this. Picture after picture, you pouting asking for your favorite alpha home. Pictures that Hoseok dared only open in the privacy of the bathroom that left little to the imagination. A shot of Yoongi's head between your thighs, a shot of you nesting in next to nothing. Virtual bait and blood in the water to Hoseok's hungry alpha more than willing to take a bite. All to give him something else to think about during that home stretch.
You wrap your arms around him and press your bare front to his warm back.
“I'm so tired that I don’t think I can be gentle, and I want to be gentle with you. I can’t not be gentle with you. I don't think I could do it without loosing control.” His fingers are mostly gentle as they pinch your cheeks, making your lips pout out. It's a little goofy.
Your eyes already look shiny, and he almost jerks when he registers the scent of slick on the air.
“Then don’t be gentle.”
“Pup.” There's a warning in his voice and he looks visible startled when he turns around. He pulls back until you let go of him, turn around. but you're not dissuaded easily, arms loose until he grabs your wrists. no matter how hard you pull you can't get them out of his grasp. but that's sort of the point.
You let Hoseok hold you, let him keep you still, a teasing smile on the edge of your lips. He huffs after a second, palms sliding up to your elbows. "You're gonna make me get more grey hairs."
"but you love me anyway?"
Hoseok nods. "but i love you anyway."
“if you can't be- then don't. Don’t be gentle, I don't care.” You’d tilted your head to the side. “Please alpha.”
Hoseok is a weak weak man. Hoseok cannot hold himself back from you. Not today. Hoseok proceeds to do exactly that, hunting and running and all. you smile and bolt, and hoseok bends to his instincts just this once.
You don't make it farther than the doorway.
Sprawled and giggling. Somewhere along the next few minutes, the sound of Seokjin and Yoongi cooking quiets, they listen but they don't interrupt. You try to push, try to fight but it's futile. it's all a game. Giggling all the while and it's like candy and conquest.
Hoseok's mouth runs wild like this- instinctual and driven.
"Is it too big for you little pup? Poor little omega stuck on a big knot, making you feel all full. Don't worry, alpha will fuck you until you're used to it again, until you feel empty without it. Keeping me warm and snug, is it too much? Don't cry, alpha will make it better. Alpha will keep you safe."
By the end of it. You'd been dazed and boneless, little more than a puddle of whimpers and whines. He had carried you tender and knotted to him in the direction of his pack. Instincts driving him to show (Hoseok is little better than a pup bringing his packmates a stick. See? See how good I bred omega, see how good I knotted her. She smells good and I made her this way for you. If he had a tail it would be wagging behind him.)
Dinner and celebration traded for a different sort of meal. Hoseok sits with you in his lap at the kitchen island. Yoongi dries his hands slowly from the sink and curses low when Hoseok holds you under your thighs, back to his chest. Spreading you for him.
"Fuck- I forgot how it looks like when you knot her it's so-"
It will take a good hour for Hoseok's knot to go down. Until then, the pack will play with you as they see fit, completely at their mercy, just the way that Hoseok likes you.
You always get a little bit more suggestible when you're knotted. Hoseok likes to think that you don't let them do everything they want to you when you are knotted but…you sort of do. While you're more than comfortable telling them off and showing off any wandering hands normally (and there are alot of wandering hands) you're almost docile when you're knotted to Hoseok.
Being knotted to the pack alpha is a bit of an invitation. Hoseok has watched the others jerk off over your chest like this, has watched them go between your legs and lap and suck to their heart's content, seen them kiss and suck until your eyes have rolled back. He doesn't mind. It doesn't make his instincts feel threatened. It feels good.
But only if Hoseok lets them. Maybe that's why you let them do it because in these moments, your bodies are locked together- you belong solely to Hoseok.
Hoseok's nose traces over your spine, over the nape of your neck. His alpha likes it very very much. The other alpha's like it too.
Now Yoongi eyes the spot where you stretch around him, the place you go pink and dewy, licking his lip and adjusting himself in his pants. Hoseok knows there's not a thing in the world he wouldn't give up for this.
Hoseok reaches between your legs. You whine when you feel him touch you, eyes fluttering against his throat, but Hoseok tips his fingers into your dewy folds, parts your lips and shows them. "opened right up, cute little cunt. Your whole body is lax, head full of mango colored cotton. the haze of pleasure just a little too much, a little too much to sort out your desire to please from everything else.
distantly you can hear yoongi's deep chuckle. "Your knot is the same size as mine. It looks like this when you do it too."
Yoongi's dark eyes are unreadable. The room smells like smoke, the burners are turned off, but no one is plating any food. Hoseok didn't even bother to undress just pulled down his pants enough to get his knot free. But you're nude clutched against his chest. Clothes torn up in the other room. Bite marks up and down your body.
Jin coos and looks you over. Hoseok feels…satisfied when the beta purrs in approval. The sight of it going straight to his head judging from the way his peach scent ripens on the air.
"It's different, it's different when it's yours."
You jerk once Jin comes close, his long fingers skimming places Hoseok can't see, buried against the back of your neck, mouthing at your nape hungry still. "Sensitive" you shutter but your pleas remain mostly ignored. a whine escapes your pressed lips and a furious blush lights down your midline. Jin keeps touching you. Hoseok wraps his arms around your middle to stop your squirming. Keeping you still so that the beta can do what he wants with you.
"Alpha bit me there too." You mumble against Hobi's throat, shifting restlessly from whatever Jin is doing. Shifting more. "Jinnie- I'm sensitive,"
You nearly flinch, but Jin's thumb presses. "Oh here? Right here?" Hoseok's teeth dip into the nape of your neck and you go boneless. Hobi laps at the pink skin when he pulls back. you pant openly, incapable of letting out more than whines.
"Let Jinnie see what alpha did to you pup." Jin drops to his knees to look closer and hobi holds you wider.
When he looks up, he makes eye contact with Hobi before you. His smile goes a little teasing.
"This little spot right? It's a very cute little spot, I understand why Hobi bit it."
Hoseok's nose traces your ear. "Don't act like it didn't make you cum." you sniffle but nod. Hoseok's knot throbs at your simple obedience. the way that you agree. It makes Hoseok want to bite you more if it's even possible. He laps at your throat some more to ignore the temptation.
"Oh? Alpha was mean? Let Jinnie kiss it better."
~-~
You end up ordering takeout. Yoongi burnt the meat too bad to be edible.
Later there is this; you cuddled up on his chest, nearly nude, wearing someone's boxers as shorts as you often do post-breeding. You claim it helps you feel closer to your alphas and although stealing clothes is pretty typical of an omega. Jin still teases, "you're not even wearing ours; those are Jungkook's."
Yoongi had stood up, pawing for his phone. "I'm gonna send him a picture- he's gonna love-" Yoongi's fingers pause on your hem. a shocked laugh bursting from his throat. "Hobi you literally left teeth marks on her ass."
Hobi's arms go firmer around you and he's about to apologize when you beat him to the punch. "I like it. If anyone gets angry tell them not to because I liked it. Makes me feel-" You shimmy and hiss at the ache in your body. "Makes me feel like I'm yours again."
There is a lump in Hoseok's throat, and his instincts go just a little more quiet. He's so fixated on that that he hardly hears your next reply, the teasing tone of your voice.
"And besides Jungkook's boxers are so much softer than yours."
"Yah-"
"You little brat." You shake against Hoseok's chest with the force of his laughter. And jump when yoongi reaches out to pinch the bruises. yoongi hadn't cum more than once earlier, and hoseok knows that although the other alpha is the least deprived out of all of them- he's still needy, still a little wound up by seeing it earlier.
They make eye contact over your head and Hoseok feels a little satisfied when yoongi looks away first.
"Fine, be like that, I'm gonna wash all my sweatshirts then and you won't have any left for your nest."
Your expression had gone suddenly panicked, "but- but-"
Now your bellies are full from takeout because Yoongi had actually ruined dinner- granted he had good reason to be distracted. Hoseok feels properly worn down, properly settled, there's still a tiny bit of anxiety in him, and his alpha still looms awfully close. But he knows that won't really go away for a good long while. Not until the whole pack is back here and safe. The doors locked and the windows shuttered.
Yoongi gets up when you ask for water, and Jin gets up when you realize you've neglected to put on your eye cream. Both strange things. In any other world Namjoon and Jimin would have done both of those things for you.
He might just confine them all to your bedroom for their first week back. His alpha likes the idea of that. You purr softly against his chest, and Hoseok holds around you with that same gentleness that he'd been craving earlier, finally capable of it with you smelling like him and the others too. They had only done the bare minimum of cleaning themselves up with lazy swipes of a damp cloth.
With three packmates wrapped around you, Hoseok under you, cheek resting over his heartbeat to listen, Yoongi against your back, and Seokjin at your front Hoseok finally feels like it's enough. You're safe like this. Nothing could ever hurt you.
Not even himself.
A concerning number of bruises trace up your thighs that Hoseok will apologize and worry over tomorrow. Even though you've told him you don't mind them- that you even like them. Everything can wait until tomorrow, healing included. Hoseok finally gets the courage to ask.
"When I came into this room, it set me off. I can tell you were anxious this morning when you woke up. What was it? Was it me?" He has to crane his neck to catch your expression and how your face goes from stricken to polished in a second.
"It was nothing, we handled it." Seokjin tries to smooth over it. But Hoseok’s warning growl cuts him off.
You trace mindless patterns over his heart, and your purr peters off. "I had this weird dream; it was a nightmare and just weird." You pause, looking up at him. Your expression is so calm that Hoseok doesn't believe it for a second. "In the dream you hated me, or at least really didn't like me." Hoseok's hold on you goes just a little tighter like his alpha is offended by the very idea of it. "There was glass everywhere and Tae was wearing pink."
Yoongi speaks, and Hoseok knows he's taking it seriously just trying to make you feel better by being a little silly."That's not that weird, Tae wears pink all the time."
"Only when he steals Jin's clothes."
"Did you know he got ketchup on the last one? I swear these kids-"
You peak up at Hobi tentatively. And he can tell that you're still a little upset by the dream. "Don't worry- I think by the end of the dream we loved each other and anyways-" You kiss his jaw, pecking at it and a lazy growl builds in his chest, spent cock twitching below you. His appetite is insatiable even after three rounds. Once on the floor, and again on the kitchen table. And again here.
"It didn't make any sense; Yoongi was a beta in it and Jinnie was an omega like me." you trace circles over his heart. "It was a bit ridiculous."
Jin ducks low pressing a kiss to your forehead, “yeah, as much as I love you being an omega I don’t know how you handle all of us pawing at you like this. I’d get like so overstimulated. And you’ve told me how sleepy you get.”
“Yeah, it is a little annoying, needing more sleep than you guys do to like. Function.”
"And like I could ever be anything but an alpha." Yoongi looks a little fragile, a little threatened by the dream. Hoseok wonders what else was in it if the other alpha is so on edge. Because there must have been more. “I can’t imagine not having instincts at all.” Jin pinches him and Yoongi jumps.
You don't have to look to know Jin's rolling his eyes. “Yeah like not growling and not nosing after anything that smells even a little bit sweet is such a curse.”
“You didn’t seem to mind it when I was nosing at you yester-“ Yoongi is interrupted by a pillow to the face, feathers fluttering down as you giggle against Hobi's chest.
Hoseok ignores the bickering, still watching you. "What was I in your dream? Was I an alpha?"
"Yes, but you weren't mine." You scoot closer to him, wiggling like just the weight of your body isn't enough to get close enough. Hoseok has a feeling that in a few minutes, you're going to start tugging at the hem of his boxers and ask to cock warm him to sleep. Some nights your omega just doesn't like any distance between you and your pack alpha and now that you have him back you don't want to let him go even a little bit. You could use a plug- but your omega wouldn't like it now that you have the real thing.
(omega plugs are fairly standard, alot of packs make omega's wear them to sleep or when they go out. A physical reminder to the omega soft minded and a way to ensure they're docile. There are even fancy ones that log body temperature, dampness and location. Sending notifications to the alpha's phone and information like rem sleep and lengh of orgasam. The pack has never needed one of those with you.)
Now though hoseok wishes he had some sort of insight into what you're thinking as you rest your cheek on his chest and look up at him. frowning and thinking hard. hoseok's thumb rubs over the nobs of your spine, up and down.
“You kind of hated me and you were so sad. I couldn’t do anything about it. That's what made me anxious- the idea of you being sad and not being able to fix it.”
You turn to nuzzle into his shoulder. The movement is so routine, so normal it almost looks like breathing. Hoseok's heart hurts from it. Your scent smells a little disconcerted, a little worried. Like just the memory of the dream is enough to set you on edge. “Like I said it was a nightmare."
Hoseok just holds you tighter, dragging his cheek along the top of your head. His scenting is a little overkill given the circumstances. any alpha in a 3 mile radius would be able to tell it's him that's claimed you.
"Yeah," he says, voice rough and quiet. "Sounds like a nightmare to me too."
~-~ Stay tuned for the next part ~-~
Notes:
sometimes i feel like i frame certain scenes like i'm not like- writing a story so much as vissually looking at a tv and describing what i'm seeing. this is one of those fics that very much felt like that.
i feel like this story is more of a true story vs a plot. i've made no secret of the fact that what i really like about fanfiction is making a world that you can sink your teeth into- and i feel like this one- this universe with pack alpha hoseok is like- ugh so drippy. like i truly hope you leave reading it and feel frustrated that you're not there- even though not all of the things described in it are good. for that reason i think there's less plot in this. like i just want it to be something that envelops you- not necessarily something that progresses although there definitely is plot to it.
i toyed alot with the idea of having there be shifting wolves in the one. i put that little tidbit in with taehyung just incase i fell like touching on it here. but honestly i may not have enough time.
i think one of the scent fortified drinks that yoongi drank too much of in their trainee days was probably "omegabull" or "omegaster" idk i didn't put it in because it felt too goofy. my favorite redbull is cranberry flavor :) maybe i'd smell like cranberries if i was an omega?
okay so- the pack's scents in this- i know it's not mentioned all that much in the first chapter- but!!! their scents for hoseok and the m/c are what their scents would have been had they not been abused in bily- this universe is sort of a foil of the other one. but yeah- hoseok would have smelled like mangos :( i know not everyone will read bily who reads this so! i tried to make the allusions to it less on the nose than in the first draft.
tbh that little bit with the plates being new, this is a. a bily refrence because remember how yoongi breaks them when she leaves? yeah this version of yoongi also broke dishes when the pack left. BUT ALSO- i do think i wanna touch a bit more on yoongi and her's time alone togeather. i like the idea that in every universe, they have their moment where it's just the two of them.
the scene at the end is just hoseok: ready to pounce on the m/c scared of himself and the idea that he could hurt her meanwhile the m/c: thats hot.
the moment where he says "the object of his frustration and all his desires' is a nod to bridgerton because i was re-watching it and loving it.
if we're being honest i think that beta's might be intersex in this universe, do i really really wanna write jimin and her rubbing their pussies together? yeahhhhhhhh, am i actually gonna write it??? probably not.
538 notes · View notes
nateezfics · 11 months ago
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hi love! may i request how ot8 would react to your skirt being a little cheeky at the amusement park?
love your work and hope you're doing well 🩷🩷
❝ wearing a short skirt on your amusement park date ❞
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: ̗̀➛ ateez’s reaction to you wearing a short skirt on your amusement park date. 2.3k words.
: ̗̀➛ ateez; boyfriend!ateez. established relationship. fluff. smut (suggestive).
: ̗̀➛ warnings: minors do not interact! suggestive sexual content. mentions of sexual themes. possessiveness. public displays of affection/arousal. tbh there’s nothing explicit so there’s really nothing to warn about lol. strong language. fem bodied!reader. intentional lower case and small font.
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hongjoong
god, you tested his patience. you really knew how to flirt your pretty little fingers around all his buttons, never fully pressing them but being so dangerously close to doing so. always just enough to make him tense and the prominent vein on his neck to pop a little.
hongjoong was in the queue right behind you as you stepped onto the ride. your absurdly short skirt fluttered as you did so, and from his position he was able to see the little pink panties you wore underneath...and so was everyone else, including the ride attendant who gawked at you like a deer in headlights. you plopped down into the cramped seat, blissfully unaware — or you just didn’t seem to care — while hongjoong had to mentally count to ten to keep himself from turning on that guy for even daring to look at you. though, he supposed it wasn’t all his fault; you were the one who decided to wear a fucking mini skirt to an amusement park.
“you know,” hongjoong began, settling himself next to you on the ride. “i really question your reasoning for wearing that.” He tugged at your skirt just as you both brought the bar over your laps. your thighs looked so pretty all exposed, mental images of your panty clad ass flashing in his mind, and hongjoong really wished that dumb ride attendant would stop throwing glances your way.
you smiled which only served to aggravate him more. “it’s such a cute skirt and i haven’t worn it yet! plus, it’s so hot outside today,” you reasoned with him while you watched others pile onto the ride. hongjoong scoffed.
“you sure you didn’t just wear it to drive me crazy?” he gripped your thigh tight, his fingers just under the hem of your skirt. “you think you’re so cute, huh? but let’s see how cute you are once i get you home.”
the ride jerked to life and began to move, his grip remaining firm. you smiled internally. your little plan worked, just like you knew it would.
seonghwa
seonghwa loved being close to you. he did, really. but it was so hot out today, and within the concretes and metals and crowds of the amusement park, it was scorching. your body was sweaty against his own. as much as he loved being near you, it was too hot for it. but you decided to wear one of the shortest skirts you owned today of all days, and he stuck close behind you to keep you from flashing anyone.
“hwa,” you whined as you both waited in line for the next ride. the sun was beaming down on you. you shuffled in place uncomfortably. “can you like, give me some space here? it’s hot as balls out here.”
seonghwa didn’t move an inch. he stayed in place, his taller form close behind you. you both probably looked ridiculous to everyone around you; they were all probably thinking you were that kind of couple. “sorry, can’t do that. not when you’re on the verge of flashing everyone in this damn park. what made you think wearing a mini skirt to an amusement park was a good idea?”
you huffed. “i don’t know. i just wanted to!” you tried to step forward, but two hands kept you firmly in place. “hwa, it’s really not that bad.”
“baby, one gust of wind and everyone can see your ass. and personally, i’m not too keen on everyone getting a view of you like that.” the queue moved, and you both shuffled a few steps forward.
“i’m wearing underwear —”
“god,” seonghwa groaned, his hands tightening on your hips. he was even closer now than before, his front pressed flat against your back. he dipped his head to whisper in your ear. “either you deal with me like this, or i’m taking you home and ripping this skirt off you. understand?”
you nodded slowly, a little taken aback by his words. that second option didn’t seem like that bad of a choice….
yunho
yunho wasn’t keen of your skirt at the beginning of your date, and he certainly wasn’t fond of it now as he watched you throw your leg over the carousel horse. your skirt was so short, and as you straddled the horse it did little to cover your ass. he took a second to appreciate the sight of your panties peeking under what your skirt couldn’t quite cover, but then he noticed the people behind you were also appreciating the view.
“you’re going to be the death of me,” yunho whispered to himself as he got on the horse behind you, much to your confusion.
“there’s a free horse right here,” you said, pointing to the horse next to you where he should have been. you looked at him over your shoulder, and you caught the dip of his gaze.
“i’ll sit here. this spot’s got a…good view.” his gaze lingered on your ass for a moment as he hoped his larger frame could block you from the sight of those behind him. he groaned inwardly when you wiggled your ass; his dick twitched and fuck it this was not the time or place for this.
you giggled when you realized, unbothered that you’d flashed more than just your boyfriend. you noticed the bob of his adam’s apple before you turned to the front again. even as the carousel began to spin, you felt his eyes remain on your backside.
yunho was thankful when the carousel stopped and the two of you were off, but his pants felt a little more snug than they had before the ride. he grabbed your smaller hand and lead you towards the park exit, not giving you any other choice but to follow him.
“yunho, where are we going?”
he didn’t even look back. “home so i can get you out of that fucking skirt.”
yeosang
yeosang was not one to say much about your outfit choices, even during times like this when you were skipping around the amusement park in what appeared to be the shortest skirt he’d ever seen you wear. he was walking behind you, struggling in silence, eyes glued to your backside even though he tried so hard not to stare.
you whirled around with a beaming smile. “yeosang, let’s go ride the ferris wheel!” your skirt twirled when you turned to face him; you undoubtedly just flashed everyone around you. yeosang was really going through it.
“uh, okay, baby. let’s go ride it.” yeosang was thankful the ferris wheel carts were enclosed. the last thing he wanted was you hoisted in the air for the whole park to see under your skirt. but inside the cart, you really must have wanted him to suffer when you plopped yourself right on his lap.
“fuck, baby, what are you trying to do to me?” his low voice was raspy, a groan slipping out when you shifted in his lap to make yourself more comfy. he felt himself starting to get stiff, and getting a hard on on a ferris wheel was not ideal.
you faced him and smiled; you looked so innocent, but there was a mischievous gleam in your eyes that he couldn’t miss. “i’m not doing anything, yeo.”
yeosang let out a sound that was a combination of a scoff, groan, and laugh. “bull shit.” his palms were grazing your thighs and traveling upwards, fingers dipping under your skirt. he swallowed hard when you gasped, the sound going straight to his dick. “god, i can’t believe you. i hope you’re planning on helping me out here, right?”
san
“and we have a winner!” the amusement park employee handed san the prize he’d won, a large plushie just about the size of his whole upper body. san was quick to hand it to you, laughing at the way you struggled to hold it.
in your excitement, you twirled around, your newly won plushie squished in your arms. but your skirt, a bit too short, flew up and gave a quick flash of the pink panties that lied underneath. “san, i love it! what should i name it?”
san laughed nervously, quickly drawing to your side and smoothing his hands over your hips to keep your skirt down. “i’m glad you love it, but baby,” he practically whined at you. “you can’t be out here twirling like that. you wanna flash the whole park?”
you giggled, snuggling your plushie tighter. “sorry, sannie.”
san smiled and kissed the top of your head. “silly little baby in your tiny skirts. i think you’re trying to mess with me.” his hands stayed on your hips while he fought the temptation to reach down and grope your ass.
“maybe a little,” you admitted with another giggle. “but i knew you’d like it, so that’s why i wore it.” you felt excitement bubble in your belly when you saw the way his gaze darkened a little.
“oh, i do like it,” san agreed. “but i think everyone else here does, too. and i can’t have others looking at you like this. so, how about i get you home, yeah?”
mingi
mingi had lost count of how many times he’d seen your ass so far today. not that he could complain about that, but he was certainly confused as to why you decided to wear a mini skirt to an amusement park. “baby, you keep messing with your skirt, but it’s not gonna get any longer.”
you huffed at him while you pulled at your skirt. you were regretting your decision making skills currently. was the outfit cute? yes. was it practical for the occasion? no. but you didn’t want to admit defeat; your boyfriend would be way too smug. “it’s fine, just needed a little fixing.”
he watched you very obviously grow frustrated with your short skirt, and a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. “oh yeah? I bet you won’t last much longer until you’re begging me to give you my jacket to cover up.”
you put your hands on your hips. “i bet i’ll be just fine.”
mingi chuckled as he closed in on you. “fine. but if i win, that skirt’s coming off as soon as we get in the car.”
your heart leaped in your chest at the meaning of his words. even though it was enticing, you still didn’t want to admit that you were dumb for wearing this skirt. so you tried not to fiddle with it for the rest of the day, tried to act unbothered that you were giving everyone in the park a free view of your undies. but you eventually had enough, and soon you had your boyfriend’s denim jacket wrapped around your hips, a signal of your defeat.
mingi brought his lips to your ear when you both got in the car later, his hand traveling up your thigh. “skirt off, baby.”
wooyoung
“woo, get some pictures of me in front of the ferris wheel!” you handed your phone to your boyfriend and ran to get in front of the ferris wheel.
wooyoung knelt down to get the best angles, but as he snapped photo after photo, all he could focus on was how short your skirt was. and every time you changed to a different pose your panties flashed as your skirt moved. “well, if you’re goal is to show off your panties in every single picture, i’d say you succeeded.”
you frowned and rushed to take your phone from him. you swiped through the pics and he was right, your panties could be seen in every shot. you sighed. “well, it’s because of the angle. you were crouched down the whole time. it’s like you wanted to get shots up my skirt, you perv!”
wooyoung laughed. “it’s not me! it’s that little mini skirt of yours. maybe you should have worn something a little more appropriate for the occasion.” he laughed some more when you playfully swatted at his arm.
you couldn’t help the way your cheeks grew warm. you gave him your phone again and walked back towards the ferris wheel. “okay, get some more pics. but this time, no pervy up the skirt shots, alright?”
“you look too fucking good in that skirt. can’t make any promises, baby.” wooyoung gave you a wink before snapping some more photos.
jongho
jongho was judging you. hard. and not because you were in a short skirt, but rather because you looked way too damn good in it. and you were in an amusement park, one of the last places to be wearing something so short. other men were staring, thinking they were being sneaky with their glances, but he caught them. it was making him feel a little aggravated; not with you, but with the way he needed to have you but couldn’t because you weren’t at home.
you walked hand in hand with your boyfriend as you searched for the next thing to ride. “we haven’t done the carousel yet. wanna go ride that?”
there was a mental image of you straddling one of the carousel horses and jongho tensed. “you sure that’s such a good idea?”
you looked at him in confusion. “why wouldn’t it be?”
“well…” jongho peered down at your skirt, and you got the hint.
you smirked. “oh. does it bother you?”
he cleared his throat. “it does,” he admitted. “but in a ‘you’re driving me insane and i have the sudden urge to take you home’ kind of way.” his grip on your hand tightened.
you giggled as you looked at him. he looked tense, and it was so obvious how affected he was. all because of your skirt. “we ride this ferris wheel then go home. deal?”
jongho groaned. “deal.”
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notes from nat: this request is so perfect for the summer time. thanks for sending it in, anon! hope you enjoyed!!
taglist: @abiaswreck @charreddonuts @hongthoven @httpseungmxn @itza-meee @jungkookieprincess @jaerisdiction @lilie-dctl @mjyungi @marievllr-abg @maltesejjong @mylovelymito @nebulousbookshelf @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 @staytinyinmybpack @svintsandghosts @thesafecafe @wolfgurl2600-blog @5starduca @yyaurii
networks: @kflixnet @wonderlandnet
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© nateezfics. do not plagiarize. do not repost. do not translate.
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sunaluv · 2 years ago
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'IS SHE TAKEN?'
in which someone asks your man if you're single
feat: ran, gojo
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RAN
the club setting was filled with more excitement tonight. don't get it twisted, any club or event hosted by the haitanis was guaranteed to be the event of the day, good vibes, hot people, and lots of money to be made. but when one of the brothers was actually present at the club? something about their aura seemed to bring out the vibes in people.
ran's hooded gaze watched adoringly at you across the club, the setting bringing nostalgia to the first time you met. ever the social butterfly you were, accepting another phone number from one of the girlfriends you made tonight. the other members of the roundtable looked at one another, wondering if the haitani brother was even present.
"no wonder you're so distracted, boss," the man next to him nudged him with his elbow, to which ran side-eyed him. "she's a looker, d'ya think she's single?"
your boyfriend appeared neutral as he let the guy ramble on about how hot you were, and what he would do to you given the chance. he missed the harsh roll of ran's eyes. if he didn't know you were spoken for, he would make sure this guy knew by the end of the night.
as if on queue, you waved bye to your new friends and started to make your way to the table. eyes followed your figure as you passed, but that was to be expected when the prettiest girl at the club walked past.
"hey, sweetheart," his soft lips pressed against the crown of your head. "you alright?"
"i'm good! a little tired though," you let out a deep sigh, melting into his arms. "these heels have been killing me..."
wordlessly, his large hands had your ankles in his lap, undoing the buckles on your heels and rubbing tender circles into the irritated skin.
he smirked at the relieved sigh that left your lips. "my buddy here has something to ask you, sweets."
the man next to you seemed to go silent since your arrival at the table, the consequences of his actions just hitting. a deep breath followed by a gulp as he wiped his damp hands against his slacks. he almost flinched when your hooded, yet dominating gaze met his own eyes, but after remembering who and where he was, he gained his composure almost as quickly as it left.
"nah 'ts nothin'," he waved his hand. "just a passing thought, is all..."
others both around the roundtable and those dancing near it tried not to make it obvious that they were watching the exchange going down. they found themselves pitying a character who would not deserve it, under different circumstances. but, as discussed, the haitani aura seems to throw things off of balance.
if he didn't want to talk, ran would do it for him. "he wants to know if your single, claims he could give you a lay better than your man could,"
your eyes left the man, instead looking over your boyfriends face in silent communication.
'you and i both know he can't'
'...i know, my love, just humor me every once in a while?'
'you're such a character sometimes, haitani'
'you love it though'
eyes darted between you, awaiting your response, thus his sentence in anticipation. he didn't know what telepathic language you were communicating in, but he was glad to not hear his fate get discussed right in front of him.
"i'm very flattered, but i have a boyfriend, sorry." your response was dry towards him, but the gaze you held with ran was anything but.
catching wind of what was about to happen, you excused yourself from the table, leaving a kiss on the corner of rans mouth, whispering a 'be good' in his ear before leaving.
whatever happened after your departure was not your business, after all.
GOJO
"hey man," a hand belonging to an unfamiliar man clasped on satorus shoulder. "do you know if the girl you came here with has a boyfriend?"
you had dragged your boyfriend to one of your friend's parties, much to his dismay. he's sworn off drinking after geto's blackmail folder started getting a bit thick, meaning there was nothing fun to do other than socialise, but he didn't want to after people flocked to him for the wrong reasons.
so now he was maybe the only sober one in this lively scene, which leads to the current events.
he spoke your name for clarity. "uhh, I'm not sure. you can go ask her if you want. ill even put in a good word for you."
has this man been a fraction more sober, he would've questioned why the blindfolded man's smile was so wide, or why he was so willing to help, but alas, this was a party and alcohol was supplied.
"thanks, dude! you're such a lifesaver."
satoru almost felt bad for the guy. he was practically buzzing whilst traversing through the sweaty bodies in search of you. he felt bad until he remembered how bored he was before this happened, he has to put himself first sometimes.
after a couple stumbles, reroutes and a rest break, they had finally found you in your angelic beauty, laughing with a group of girls he didn't know.
he thought it was quite cute how the guy seemed to become more shy at the sight of you, and satoru couldn't blame him. had he been someone more normal, he would act the same in your presence.
one of the girls caught sight of the pair by the entry and gestured you towards them. your face softened slightly at the sight of your six-foot-something boyfriend and his... friend?
"hey toru," you smiled, before looking at the other man. "who’s this?"
satoru said nothing, slapping the guy a little too harshly on the back before stepping back. the floor was his.
"hey," he breathed out, before introducing himself. "i saw you come in with your friend earlier, and just wanted to know if you were seeing anyone?"
your heart rate picked up, but not for the reason the guy was hoping. why was gojo like this? did he enjoy seeing you suffer?
he obviously did as when you looked over your shoulder to the said man, he gave you a big, encouraging grin with both thumbs up. the audacity.
he had thrown you to the wolves and left you to fend for yourself.
"uhm..." you breathed, trying not to shatter the poor guy's heart. "i have a boyfriend, unfortunately. sorry."
"what do you mean, unfortunately!" satoru mocked you from behind the guy. "I'm a total catch, right?" he turned to the guy. "right??"
though delayed, the guy had finally come to the realisation he had been punked by the man who egged him on the whole time. his face burst into a deep shade of red, apologising profusely before rushing back into the crowd.
"you're such an ass, gojo."
"the last name huh?" he scratched the back of his neck. "I'm in for it arent i?"
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tritoch · 7 months ago
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the warrior of light as a game-breaking force of violence
there's a moment, relatively early in dawntrail, that establishes succinctly how out of place the warrior of light (as the savior of eorzea and main character of four successive final fantasy game plots) is in what is essentially the story of fresh new final fantasy protagonist wuk lamat. and it sets up quite nicely how the framework of fantasy video game conflict pulls the warrior of light forever towards violence as the expansion goes on.
spoilers through 7.0 follow
consider wuk lamat's kidnapping and rescue. bakool ja ja holds his blade to wuk lamat's throat, taunting you. his lackeys line up against your party in neat little ranks suspiciously reminiscent of a classic final fantasy encounter screen.
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and it simply does not matter to the warrior of light. you stride right through their combat setup because you are beyond that by now. the warrior of light has absolutely no respect for the "we are about to do ATB combat" lineup. the camera even jumps the line for you in one continuous rotating shot, crossing the axis of action as though to emphasize through the disruption of visual convention how far outside the game's boundaries you are.
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this is how far you are above the problems of dawntrail's first half. you cannot even be bound by the normal rules of cinematography and video game combat. everyone else here lined up for a good old-fashioned scrap and the warrior of light said haha nope actually. i'm going to stroll through here like a god of war astride this tiny battlefield. your henchmen cannot even raise a hand to me. i don't even have to engage in violence directly anymore. my mere presence is enough.
in fact, not only can bakool ja ja's henchmen not raise a hand to you, he's not even worthy of your direct intervention. he kidnaps wuk lamat and steals her keystones and frees valigarmanda and kidnaps hunmu rruk and none of it warrants the warrior of light so much as raising a finger. he's wuk lamat's recurring villain, that's not your problem. you're just here to take in the scenery.
zoraal ja spends his whole life aspiring to be thought of as his father's equal and a worthy successor to the dawnservant as the "resilient son." all it takes for gulool ja ja to acknowledge you as a warrior on his level is like a five minute sparring match. the acknowledgement from gulool ja ja that zoraal ja hungered for his whole life and would eventually go full cyborg supervillain to get via regicide is something the warrior of light receives casually in a throwaway line after their level 93 solo duty on the way to more important plot conversations.
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it really seems for a second, in the first half of dawntrail, like you are strong enough and the problems simple enough for this to be a clean and easy adventure. bakool ja ja? power of friendship'd. mamook? successfully reintegrated, no worries about the crimes against humanity. rite of succession? handily won. nothing can stop you. even duty finder queue times have been conquered: you can do all your duties with trusts now.
all of which only makes it better when the second half has sphene ask you and wuk lamat directly: could your strength have been enough to save alexandria? could you have found a different way?
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i know some people get very annoyed we don't intervene in the gulool ja ja fight. now personally i think if you see arthur and mordred squaring up it's rude to intervene, but beyond that, it simply wouldn't have mattered. by the time zoraal ja's forces arrived in tuliyollal, alexandria and tural were already on a collision course and doomed to conflict. your hands alone could never have averted this conflict. sphene was always bound to do what she did—and certainly a gulool ja ja without his reason would not be any more inclined to peace than wuk lamat and koana were.
there's a great little moment just before living memory where estinien, champion at reading the room, is like "okay so if thancred and i stay here that frees up you up, aibou, to do what you do best and save the world and have epic fights. woo!!!" and immediately afterwards you basically have to apologize to alisaie because part of the sort of unspoken premise of this whole trip in the first place was that you were, finally, not going to plunge into mortal peril to save the world. you were finally going to take it easy. you were finally done with that. and she has to sort of ruefully be like nah it's fine bro. i was trying to get you to take it easy and not do insane risky world-saving violence. but y'know these things (interdimensional invasions) happen.
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by the time you reach the very last trial, all pretense that the warrior of light could have ever been beyond these problems has vanished. you were, very emphatically, not strong enough to hold onto all that was dear without sacrifice. gulool ja ja and otis and cahciua died. yyasulani was irreversibly changed, physically colonized and culturally decimated by another dimension. you systematically shut down each part of living memory, and all its friendly, charming, loving ghosts, with your own hands. with your own clicks.
not even the vaunted strength of the warrior of light is enough to overcome sphene's inexorable logic of conflict. and so, in the end, she plucks you out of the crowd and says, explicitly for reasons of your strength, that you are going to have to do a boss fight now. you are going to have to kill her and you are going to have to do it in a proper 8-on-1 trial, and she forces you to affirmatively state that you understand you're going to kill her.
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did you think you were above it all? did you think you could get away from here with your weapon undrawn, with your hands clean? that for you and you alone the logic of conflict comes undone? wrong. wrong. wrong.
your strength cannot redeem you, says sphene. your friends cannot make these sacrifices for you. if you would play the hero then you must play the hero. no half-measures.
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back to the duty finder with ye.
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ciciyup · 1 year ago
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Yandere! Apollo X Fem! Human reader headcanons.
cw: Little nsfw, obsession, possessiveness, dark themes, cheating? (I don't know how I should categorize it, but it's not a direct hoax), angst, kidnapping, forced marriage.
🏹 a/n: This is the first yandere! What do I do, I hope I did well. I was feeling quite inspired so I think a little story formed as well.
━━━━━━✧ 🦢 ✧━━━━━━
Apollo has never been one to worry, he is the epitome of beauty, no other God in the pantheon was as beautiful as he was. Being surrounded by women and men who are not only there beside him, but also queue for his attention, is something Apollo enjoys, attention and all eyes on him was something he loved.
He doesn't need to lower himself and have less, he must have all the best, that includes the most beautiful people, which was not a problem. Nymphs, goddesses and even mortals, rained down on him in droves, although the latter could not matter less to him.
Sometimes, among the millions of mortals that inhabited the earth, Apollo chose those who could stand out the most and had a unique beauty to take them with him. Sure they had always been adventures, he had fun with them, but that was all.
On one of his many trips around the earth he found you. He saw you picking oranges from a large tree, carefully storing them in your basket that was almost full. You were... Perfect. Your hair moved in time with the pleasant breeze of the day, your eyes were brighter than the stars, your smile could heal sore eyes, your voice was like hearing the singing of angels. You were so beautiful.
He didn't care much about you at first if he had to admit it. You seemed very common, very normal, just another mortal woman, however, something made him go to you. He didn't need to do much, just introduce himself and talk nonsense. You were nothing but nice and kind, you offered to help him find his way if he was lost, you asked him if he was hungry and offered him an orange.
He just looked for silly excuses to make more time and get to know you better, he lamented when you told him that your family was waiting for you and you couldn't stay. He watched your form as you left his vision until you were lost, your beautiful floral dress disappearing into the crowd and being replaced by sad shades of colors from people walking on their own path.
What made you so special? Was it the way you were so kind and modest with everyone else? Was it the way you saw things? Apollo, not having enough, kept seeing you regularly on different occasions, strangely always appearing out of nowhere when you were alone in some places or doing your own tasks. At first, it didn't seem strange to you, you thought it was just a coincidence, which made Apollo take advantage of your naivety even more.
Apollo thought you would fall at his feet as soon as he saw you, he wouldn't even need three days to leave you enchanted, but then it happens and he hits reality. He discovers that you are not interested in him in the slightest, at least not in the way he wants. You don't even worship the gods, you're not interested in them, you don't bring offerings or pray to them like other mortals. You don't lose yourself in him, you don't beg for attention, you don't adore him, you just see him as if he were just another man and that made Apollo's blood boil.
So when Apollo proposes to you and to go with him, you politely decline, feeling flattered, but refusing because you don't love him and you don't feel the same way. Apollo's face contorts, his brow furrows quickly and he tries to hide his inner side as best he can. His ego felt hurt, was he rejected by a mere mortal?
You move on with your life, Apollo seemed to have taken it well and wasn't upset, that's what you believed after he left. When you think everything is fine, he arrives silently to take what is his, what belonged to him from the beginning. No more games, there would be no more facades of the just and understanding God, he lets the true face of the coin come to light, then you don't have time to react.
He takes you, sees you walking towards your house and surprises you there. Your basket falls with a thud and the fruit falls scattered all over the floor, but no one else was there anymore.
Upon arriving at his kingdom, Apollo introduces you to it as your new home, showing you all the places keeping you close, holding your wrist so you wouldn't run away, even though there was nowhere to run, you were too far from earth and you wouldn't be coming back, he would make sure of that.
You resist for a long time, you don't want to talk to him or look at him or kiss him or touch him, you don't want his presence. Apollo doesn't want to be mean to you, he really doesn't, but your impertinence pissed him off, and when you didn't learn things there were consequences.
He pushes you into a room after you refused to sleep with him in what would be your shared room, the room was cold and almost empty, it had a mirror and a small couch, it didn't seem to be very frequented by anyone, since you could even see cracks in the walls. He dared to leave you there for almost four days, without seeing you even once, without leaving you food or water or any other basic resources, and when he decided to see you, believing that you had learned your lesson, he found you on the floor of the room almost dying.
You were pale, your lips dry, you could barely move, your stomach hurt from the lack of food and your throat was crying out for some water.
As he carried you to his shared room and laid you there, as he watched you eat the food voraciously and drink more than six glasses of water, as he watched you rest covered by the finest and warmest blankets on his bed, yes, now you would learn that things would be his way, you had no say in any decision, you would only focus on him.
And even after you became his beloved, faithful and devoted wife with the finest jewelry and the most beautiful dresses, he would remain the same, not even for you would he change. As you sat on a rock in front of the beautiful landscape of the place thinking about everything he had taken from you, Apollo was no less than a meter away from you in the hot springs with the nymphs at his side, each one laughing and talking to him, hugging and tracing his chest with their thumbs at the slightest opportunity. He relaxed with each one, every now and then, ignoring your presence, ignoring your pain.
Still, he refused to let you go. He didn’t care about silly nymphs, they were just for hanging out and feeling adored, if he didn’t have you he had nothing. He wanted you by his side, in the hot springs, on another throne next to him, in meetings with other gods, he wanted you.
It was only a matter of time, he would fuck you so hard you would carry his child and then he would finally have you with no chance of escape. He would take you every night in his marital bed and fill your belly until it was full and swollen, he would bury himself deep inside you to fill you again and again with his seed and he would claim you. You were his. You were from the first moment he saw you.
━━━━━━✧ 🦢 ✧━━━━━━
🏹 a/n: I didn't think I would like it so much but in the end I really liked the result. I wrote it in less than two hours, although it is revised I am sorry if there are any errors. I was thinking of doing more yandere! For other characters, I like the theme. I have ideas for the next one so wait for it (⁠。⁠・⁠ω⁠・⁠。⁠)⁠ノ⁠♡
—cici🏹
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ramp-it-up · 9 months ago
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Knock You Down
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Knock You Down Materlist | Part II
Summary: James Bucky Barnes is an avowed bachelor and one night stand artist. But when he meets you, he finds out that sometimes love comes around, and it knocks you down.
Word count: less than 2K
Pairing: Art Dealer (mob boss) Bucky Barnes x Reader
A/N: This fic was in part inspired by Seb Stan's latest pics and this press run 🫠, and partially inspired by an old song by some problematic people, lol. This is the result. As usual, I am Basil Exposition, so this is broken into parts. Part II is already in the queue and will be posted on Friday, 10/11.
Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Read at your own risk. Slow burn, cursing, mutual pining, Bucky the player, wild thoughts, kisses on the hand and the cheek. No sex!
I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘
I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
-----
"Won't see it coming when it happens. But when it happens you're gonna feel it, let me tell you now."
Bucky always scoffed at Steve’s advice. He and Sam never understood his solitary bachelorhood and his one night stand lifestyle.
The truth was, he hadn’t met anyone who held his interest enough to warrant a second date, much less anything beyond one casual hookup. So, he never made promises that he couldn’t keep, and most women said they were down for that. 
Even if they were lying to themselves.
At 42, James Buchanan Barnes was too dedicated to his business, ostensibly as an art dealer, for a serious relationship. The truth was that he dealt in many things, and that was why his business needed so much attention. 
His life and everyone’s around him depended on it. 
Bucky Barnes wasn’t going to get caught slipping.
In love or in business.
—---
The first time you met James Buchanan Barnes, on what you thought would be a random Monday afternoon, he appraised you in a way that shook you to the core, those ocean blue eyes looking into your soul. You felt as if he were evaluating a piece of art as he gazed at you across his desk. 
You couldn’t know that he felt the exact same way. 
His eyes never strayed from your face as he shook your hand, but he’d noticed every bit of you as you entered his gallery, Rebirth. You were more stunning than any piece of art that he’d ever curated in the space.
While nothing like his normal type, you made Bucky feel as if he’d been so wrong about so much in his life the moment you entered his orbit. He had to get to know you to find what he’d been missing.
This afternoon you were a sight to behold and serving body. Although you were covered from neck to shin in an elegant sheath dress, the high, wrapped waist was giving all of your bounteous curves up to whoever glanced at you. And you had heads turning.
Steve, Sam, and even Natasha craned their necks to watch you as you entered Bucky’s office. And he could have sworn that Nat’s neck was at a 90 degree angle as she watched you leave her desk just outside his door.
You were fine as hell.
Bucky was entranced by dreams of handling your curves and making you smile at him forever.
As Bucky dreamed, you admired the man in front of you. Tall, dark, and handsome, Barnes wasn’t a young man, but the gray in his beard and the crinkles around his eyes made him that much more attractive. 
Even more attractive than in the paparazzi pics of him with various young models and actresses of the moment, waifs and ingénues with whom he was never photographed twice.
You just knew you were safe from any advances from him.
You thought.
“Enchanté, Ms. Y/LN. It is a pleasure to meet you."
Bucky lowered his head as he greeted you, a slight bow and extended his hand to his desk. You noticed the tattoo that started on his hand and seemed to go up his sleeve and went in the direction he pointed.
"You know, you are quite tenacious. I don’t take many meetings with potential buyers. But all of my people told me that I should.”
The silk of his voice, the unexpected tenor of it, and the way he took your hand made you shiver at the aura of experience that he gave off.
The word Daddy floated around in your mind for a moment until he invited you to sit.
You had to concentrate on the business at hand, that of negotiating for a piece of art for the Art and Culture Center in Brownsville, of which you were the director. The purchase was made possible by benefactors to commemorate a deceased Brownsville artist who became famous, then forgotten, during the Harlem Renaissance.
“You’ve made it past Ms. Romanoff, my gallerist, Mr. Wilson, my business manager, and Mr. Rogers, my gallery director, Ms. Y/LN. What makes you think that I’m going to give you a different answer? Letting that piece go for the price you’ve proposed is not a good business move.”
“You can’t afford to miss out on this opportunity, Mr. Barnes. Yes, you will be taking a loss on the artwork, but you will be on the ground floor of a major rediscovery. You will be known as one of the few who helped to resurrect the brilliance of the artist Howard Benson. You can be the Alice Walker to his Zora Neale Hurston.”
And that is when Bucky leaned back in his chair, astounded at your shrewd calculation.
“I love the way your mind works, Ms. Y/LN.”
You smiled and settled back into your chair, causing Bucky to shift in his chair. He wanted to be buried in you. He appraised and decided that he liked the pout that changed your lips almost as much as the smile that initially greeted him when he replied, “But that price is still unacceptable.”
You raised an adorable eyebrow at him and rose to the challenge that he lay at your feet ready to tangle with the inimitable James Barnes. The conversation stretched from early afternoon to dinner time, making you suspect that Barnes was drawing it out for some reason. You matched him, point for point, until it was dark. But he yielded no ground.
The conversation was intellectual foreplay: art history, sociology, american politics. And it was the most stimulated you’d been in a while. 
You could do this all night.
Your phone buzzed and you looked down. There were several text messages and emails lighting up your screen. You’d been in deep with Barnes for hours. It was after 6 pm. It seemed like only minutes. You noticed that it was only you and Bucky left in the gallery and rose to excuse yourself, albeit reluctantly.
“Oh! I’m sorry to keep you so long. I’m sure that you must have plans.”
You’d done your research and you knew that there was probably someone little more than half Barnes’ age waiting for him. When you searched social media, there was a sighting or spotted every month or so of Bucky and a young, beautiful woman.
You reached for your coat, but Bucky was behind you in seconds, taking it from you and helping you put it on. You shivered at his breath at your throat and his hands on your collarbone as he draped the lapels over your neck. His deep chuckle made your stomach flip. He saw right through you.
“No one is waiting for me but my cat, Alpine. How about you, Ms. YLN? Anyone waiting for you in Brownsville?”
“Not tonight. No.”
Why in the world were you doing the sultry whisper thing? This man didn’t want you. 
Did he?
You cleared your throat and you felt dizzy when you looked up and saw how close he was standing to you. Those eyes and the smile that graced his handsome face had you warm, but the way he licked his lips had you spiraling.
Bucky pushed down a mild sense of panic that someone might be expecting you some other night, but that was irrational. Competition never ever entered his mind when he talked to other women. 
What was happening here?
“Well I would consider myself extremely fortunate and would be honored if we could continue this conversation over dinner.”
—-
The way James Barnes turned your meeting into a dinner date had your head spinning, but the wonderful conversation and easy, light hearted banter eased your mind. As soon as the first course was served at your table at dinner at Bohemian, he agreed to your initial price.
From there, once the terms were settled, the conversation turned to more personal questions, each of you sharing the stories of your life in your town, his childhood in Romania, your childhood in Brooklyn, and lots of funny stories.
At one point early in the night, Bucky stopped you from calling him Mr. Barnes.
“Please. Call me James. Or you could call me Bucky. My Friends call me Bucky. For my middle name, Buchanan. Bucky is short for Buchanan.”
Bucky found himself rambling. He had not been this nervous in a while.
You looked at him quizzically. At that moment, he would give you anything you were about to ask of him.
“Do you have a lot of friends? I mean, do a lot of people call you Bucky?“
Godamn, the husk in your voice, those lips, those eyes. Everything about you was about to set him on fire.
“I have a few who are in my close circle. Natasha, Steve, Sam. They and a very few others call me Bucky. Most people I speak with call me Mr. Barnes...”
You nodded slowly, licking your lips, making Bucky feel it in his cock.
“Then I will call you James.”
He got your subtle meaning. You wanted to be different. 
And you were. So very different.
After almost five hours of the best conversation and laughter, he proposed another time for you two to meet before the week was up, on Friday. He had made it clear at dinner that now that business was concluded that he wanted to spend time with you.
Friday night would be a date, the second one at his insistence.
You debated that fact as his driver took you home, even up until he walked you to the door of your brownstone.
He leaned against your doorframe and checked you out as you retrieved your keys from your purse. When you turned and caught him looking, you gasped, causing him to straighten up and move toward you, eyes dilated.
“It will be our second date,” you conceded.
Bucky’s mouth curled into a smirk as he grabbed your hand and lifted it to his mouth. Your soul burned as he pressed his lips to your palm. It was like the hint of a drug in your veins and you wanted so much more.
“What made you change your mind?”
That voice. Did you have a voice kink? Good lord.
You flushed, both at the images that were racing through your mind, and at the arbitrary three date rule you’d made up a while ago. Why was that again?
You cleared your throat.
“Because of the way you are looking at me, James. And the fact that you just kissed me.”
“Is this a kiss?”
“Ummhmmmm.”
You hummed as Bucky raised his eyebrow and your hand again. This time, he brushed his lips against your wrist and inhaled the perfume lingering there. You were about to melt.
Bucky didn’t even know what he was doing. The next step in his mind was to open his mouth and consume you, but he opened his eyes and spied you looking at him in that way, and he knew he had to stop. He didn’t want this to be like all of his other conquests.
He straightened up, but didn’t let go of your hand, entangling your fingers together. 
“You are correct, Y/N. In my mind, this is a date. I am interested in you, for more than just your taste in art. I hope that this is the first date of many.”
You were bowled over at his straightforwardness. It was not what you were used to. This was a man, not a boy in mens clothing.
“I appreciate your honesty, James.”
You went on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, your lips lingering on the black and grey stubble so close to his lips. You turned around, giving him a view of your backside as you opened your door.
“And your ambition.”
You gave him that smile again with a wink, and your “Goodnight, James,” floated up to him on cloud nine.
——-
Let me know if you liked it!
Part II here.
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fushiguro-megloomy · 7 months ago
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request: [modern au] headcannons for childhood friends to lovers  pairing: viktor x gn!reader tags: nothing bad, very sfw, fluffy notes: ill be so for real with you i feel like i'm very weak at doing headcannons ;-; but i tried. i hope this is what you were looking for anon <3 divider from enchanthings-a
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You’d known Viktor for as long as you could remember, his house across the street from yours. As a curious kid, you’d often linger while he tinkered with small projects, asking questions. Your friendship really solidified one summer when your bike broke, and Viktor fixed it with surprising enthusiasm. To repay him, you let him ride on the handlebars while you scooted him around the neighborhood.
He's absolutely critiquing your work before the teachers even get their hands on it. Sitting beside you at your desk clump, thick eyebrows pulled together and scribbling little “???” or just straight up “no” in the margins of your handwriting. You always glare at him but you're secretly grateful. 
He's observant, if you were hungry or tired he would wordlessly slide snacks onto your desk. He's not the best with social queues, but he knows when you're upset and he'll hover around you awkwardly until he blurts some random fact or sarcastic comment meant to distract you.
He's easily jealous, but in the way that he gets pouty, throwing himself into projects and denying anything is even wrong.
Definitely getting into squabbles all the time bickering like an old married couple
He's always gave you something handmade for your birthday. You still have it all. He's not big on his own birthdays but you always bring him a homemade cupcake.
This is not an original thought but he's definitely a gossip, ESPECIALLY as you grow into teen-hood. Not outwardly, but still he would unleash all his unfiltered opinions onto you, and his face definitely gives him away when he's silently judging someone. Mans got a wicked side eye.
Viktor had taken over his parents’ garage as his workshop, and it quickly became your second home. Most of your free time was spent perched on a stool, watching him work or pestering him with questions. You fell asleep there so often that he eventually squeezed a secondhand couch into the tiny space, insisting you needed somewhere more comfortable to crash.
You're each other's first kiss, but it doesn't happen until senior year. You're in his garage, complaining about never having kissed someone and he's like alright so let's kiss??? Things spiral from there.
“I mean, what kind of tragic story is that?” you grumble, tossing a pillow at him. “Eighteen and never kissed anyone. I’ll be the cautionary tale for future students.”  Viktor chuckles softly but doesn’t look up from his work. “I don’t see what the rush is. It’s not as if it matters.” “It matters to me,” you insist, sitting up. “Don’t you want to at least know what it’s like?” He stared at you for a moment, then let out a sigh, setting his tools aside. “Alright, then.” You blinked at him, confused. “Alright what?” He stepped closer, hands slipping into his pockets as he looked down at you. “Let’s kiss.” Your heart skipped a beat. “What?!” “You’re complaining about it, so, we kiss, you stop worrying about it, and we both move on. Simple.” His voice was steady, but the faint pink rising to his cheeks betrayed him. “You’re serious?” you asked, sitting up straighter. “Unless you’re too scared.” That did it. “I’m not scared,” you snapped, standing to face him. “Good,” he murmured, leaning in just enough for you to feel his breath against your lips. “Then stop talking.” Before you could come up with a retort, his lips pressed against yours, soft and careful. It was brief but left you reeling, your heart pounding as he pulled back. “Well?” he asked, tilting his head. “That should suffice, no?” You stared at him, dumbfounded, before bursting into laughter. “Yeah… yeah, I guess it’ll do.” He smirked, turning back to his workbench, though the tips of his ears were unmistakably red. “You’re welcome.” It was just a kiss, you told yourself. But as you sat back down, touching your lips absentmindedly, you couldn’t help but wonder why your heart was still racing.
©lilsworks 2024
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supes9 · 5 months ago
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Roy + Johnny + Taking Care of Each Other ❤️‍🩹
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kaiyunsim · 2 months ago
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dangerous —
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pairing : neighbor!taesan x gn!reader
genre : fluff
summary : what do you do when you get a text from your neighbor in the middle of the night asking to head outside? answer it. who knows what’s to come? no one. but one thing is for sure. it’s not going to be a normal night
a/n : this is the last one guys !! hope u enjoyed 19.99 :)) very fun to write and lots of love to everyone reading <3
queueing : dangerous - boynextdoor, say - keshi, flamin hot lemon - jaehyun, rendez-vouz - baekhyun
[19.99 masterlist]
— wc : 3.8k — not proof read —
you’re brushing your teeth when the first pebble hits the window.
at first, you think it’s nothing. probably just the wind or a tree branch or a cat being annoying again. but then it happens again. a sharper sound this time. too precise. and you freeze with your toothbrush halfway to the sink.
you shuffle to your window and peer out into the dark.
han taesan is standing in your yard.
no. more accurately, han taesan is standing just outside your yard, leaning casually against the fence like he owns the street, like he didn’t just pelt your window with two small rocks. his hoodie is up, shadowing his face, but the flashlight in his hand flicks on and off twice. deliberate. like a signal.
you blink. and then blink again.
because han taesan is the neighbor you’ve always kept a healthy distance from. he’s the reason the neighborhood group chat has three different emergency threads. he’s the kid who climbed onto the school's four-story roof last year just because someone dared him. he’s always getting written up. always being talked about. always loud, always laughing.
but tonight, he’s quiet. tonight, he’s looking directly at you.
you don’t move. he shifts slightly, then pulls something out from behind his back.
a sign. well, it's a napkin, but it works as a sign. he holds it up, and in bold, messy marker it reads:
come with me. just for a bit.
your heart skips.
you’re not the type to sneak out. not the type to say yes to things like this. you’re the “text me when you get there” kind. the “curfew means curfew” kind. your phone is already in your hand, screen glowing with the drafted text you were going to send to your mom about finishing homework and heading to bed early.
you look back out the window. taesan grins and pulls out another napkin where he starts scribbling onto it once again.
you’ll regret it if you don’t.
the grin gets to you more than it should. it’s not cocky. it’s a little hopeful. a little excited. like he’s waiting to share something no one else gets to see. like he picked you.
you sigh. your thumb hovers over the text message. you think about deleting it. you think about shutting the window. you think about how weird tomorrow might feel if you go. and like a ghost possesed you to be different tonight, you delete the draft and throw on a hoodie.
you leave the light on to make it look like you’re still in your room. your heart is pounding in your throat. this is ridiculous. this is so dumb. you’re halfway down the stairs before you even realize you're moving.
you make sure to take out the batteries from the door alarm and open it but the front door creaks. you wince. freeze.
nothing.
you slip outside and shut it again, as slowly and silently as possible. the porch light is off. the night is cold and still and too quiet. every crunch of gravel beneath your sneakers feels like a siren.
taesan is already walking backward, waving you toward the end of the street.
you jog to catch up.
“you actually came,” he says, eyebrows raised.
“you threw rocks at my window,” you whisper back, still out of breath.
“and you came,” he says, like that’s proof of something. “i’m impressed.”
you roll your eyes. “what is this, exactly?”
taesan shrugs, flashing the flashlight briefly at your feet. “just something i want to show you. it’ll be worth it.”
“is this the part where you reveal you’ve been hiding a stolen motorcycle in your garage?”
he grins wider. “nah. that’s next week.”
you laugh before you mean to, and he catches it. his gaze lingers on you for half a second longer than it should. you pretend not to notice.
the neighborhood looks different at night. each house is a sleeping giant. windows glowing softly. no cars. no noise. just the two of you, cutting across sidewalks and hopping fences like fugitives.
“we’re gonna get arrested,” you mutter.
“technically,” he says, “we’re just walking.”
you glance over at him. “most people walk on the sidewalk.”
“most people are boring.”
you duck as a red dot from a camera catches your gaze. taesan hisses a laugh and grabs your wrist, yanking you behind the nearest hedge.
you land too close together, knees bumping, breath tangled.
you don’t say anything. neither does he.
the light eventually shuts off.
“okay,” you whisper, barely audible. “maybe this is kinda fun.”
“told you,” he says. “but it gets better.”
“what is this place, taesan?”
he looks at you, serious for a moment. “it’s where i go when the rest of this place feels too small.”
you stare at him.
he scratches the back of his neck, suddenly sheepish. “that sounded cooler in my head.”
you nod slowly. “nah. it was kind of cool.”
he perks up again. “yeah?”
“don’t push it.”
you keep walking, this time side by side.
the thrill is still there, tingling just beneath your skin, but there’s something warmer now too. a weird quiet comfort in the way your steps sync. in the way taesan hums softly when there’s no conversation. in the way he sometimes looks at you like he can’t believe you’re still here.
“so,” you say after a while, “do you do this often?”
“sneak out? yeah.”
“no, convince innocent bystanders to join your criminal antics?”
“not really,” he says. “you’re kind of a first.”
you glance at him.
he doesn’t look back.
instead, he points ahead to a chain-link fence.
“almost there,” he says.
you don’t know where there is yet, but you know one thing for sure: you’re not turning back.
not yet.
you’re halfway across a playground you didn’t know still existed when taesan suddenly veers left, hopping a low fence like it’s muscle memory.
you follow, breathing harder now, adrenaline buzzing under your skin in a way that makes you feel alive and reckless and a little bit stupid.
“we’re really far from my house,” you say.
“you mean our house,” he corrects, turning around with a crooked grin. “we’re neighbors, remember?”
“yeah,” you mutter. “this feels like the kind of bonding experience that ends with a demon being summoned.”
he laughs, loud and bright in the empty dark. it echoes between the old school buildings as you both duck into a narrow path between chain-link fences.
“you always this dramatic?” he asks.
“you always this mysterious?” you shoot back.
he considers this. “i try not to be. people make assumptions when you stop explaining yourself.”
“so you just stopped explaining?”
“i got tired,” he says, voice quieter now. “and my friends moved away. it’s easier not to miss them if i don’t talk about them.”
you glance at him. there’s something different in the way he walks now. slower. not just because the path narrows, but because he’s remembering.
“this the part where you tell me about your tragic backstory?” you ask, teasing, but softer.
he snorts. “nah. just… there used to be five of us. every friday night. we’d sneak out, go exploring, steal snacks from the convenience store if we were brave enough. we called it ‘operation getaway.’”
you raise a brow. “wow. that’s so dramatic.”
he nudges you with his shoulder. “shut up.”
“i’m just saying,” you grin, “sounds kind of adorable. were you, like, the fearless leader?”
“duh,” he says, then adds quickly, “i mean—no. maybe. i don’t know.”
“taesan,” you drawl. “are you sentimental?”
he stumbles over a crack in the pavement.
“what? no,” he says too fast. “no way.”
“you totally are.”
“i’m not.”
“this is your secret memory lane. you’re taking me to your old hangout spot. you’re sharing stories about your childhood gang—”
“okay shut up, you’re ruining the moment.”
you’re laughing when he shoves you lightly, and he’s laughing too, except it sounds more like relief. like he’s glad you didn’t run at the first sign of something real.
you climb up a slanted dumpster and hop down the other side, landing next to him in a hidden alley you didn’t even know existed. it smells like asphalt and wild mint.
“how do you know all these weird paths?” you ask, brushing your hands on your hoodie.
“been running through them since i was twelve,” he says, glancing around. “they don’t teach this stuff in school.”
you pause, realizing you’ve been walking for a while now, and not once have you felt lost.
“now, where are we going?” you ask.
he smiles. “you’ll see.”
you roll your eyes. “vague. mysterious. definitely suspicious.”
“all the best things are,” he says.
you keep walking, but something changes.
at first it’s small, a flicker in your peripheral vision. a low hum. the kind of noise you don’t notice until it’s been going on for too long.
you glance behind you.
a car. old. paint chipped. headlights off. moving way too slow for a place with no stop signs.
you squint. taesan hasn’t noticed yet. he’s ahead of you, already halfway through a shortcut behind someone’s backyard. but when the car creeps past again, this time from the other side of the block, you speak up.
“hey… that car’s weird.”
he stops mid-step. turns. his eyes scan the street, sharp now, calculating.
“which one?”
you point. it’s gone again.
his jaw tightens. not dramatically. just enough that you notice.
“it’s probably nothing,” he says, voice level. “somebody getting lost.”
but he’s looking around more now. less joking. more alert.
you don’t ask questions. not yet. you just fall in step beside him again, a little closer this time. and when you reach a side street with no streetlights, he reaches out and takes your hand.
just like that.
no big deal.
except your fingers are burning where they touch.
“shortcut,” he says, tugging you into the dark between two buildings. “we’ll cut through here.”
you don’t argue.
your shoes scuff against broken pavement, and his flashlight flicks on, just long enough to catch your footing. it smells like rain and something else, dust maybe. you can hear your own heartbeat louder than your steps.
“you okay?” he asks quietly, still holding your hand.
you nod, even though he’s not looking.
“yeah.”
you’re more than okay. you’re terrified, and excited, and fully aware that you’re wandering through alleys with a boy you barely know but somehow trust anyway.
and then, as you turn the corner, he stops. you almost run into him. he’s staring up at a narrow fire escape tucked between two brick walls.
“this is it,” he says.
you follow his gaze. “what is?”
he grins. “our rooftop,” he says. “c’mon. don’t wimp out on me now.”
you eye the ladder. it looks… less than safe.
“you first,” you mutter.
he’s already climbing.
you wait until he’s halfway up before starting after him, hands trembling with cold and adrenaline.
when you reach the top, breathless and heart pounding, he’s standing there—arms spread like he’s welcoming you into a secret universe.
and what you see takes your breath away.
city lights stretch in every direction. soft, glowing. like someone shook glitter over the world and let it settle in the cracks. the wind brushes your face. it’s quiet up here. peaceful. far away from everything.
“taesan…” you say, voice small.
he glances over. “told you it’d be worth it.”
you don’t realize how hard you’re breathing until your back hits the cool rooftop, and the stars spin a little above your head.
“oh my god,” you gasp, laughing between breaths. “we almost died on that ladder.”
taesan collapses next to you with a dramatic sigh. “worth it.”
you turn your head. he’s grinning again, eyes squinting up at the sky, hoodie bunched at his elbows. you’re close enough that your arms touch, and the heat from his skin is louder than the wind.
“so,” you say after a beat, “this is your big secret spot.”
he hums. “yep.”
“it’s actually kind of... amazing.”
“you sound surprised.”
“well,” you grin, “i was expecting like, a junkyard. or maybe a haunted gas station.”
“jeez, you just hate me i guess,” he deadpans.
you nudge his shoulder. he doesn’t nudge back.
instead, he says, quieter now, “i thought you weren’t gonna come.”
you glance at him.
his eyes are still on the sky, but his voice dips, softer around the edges. “i had the sign ready and everything. would’ve felt dumb just standing down there.”
your chest squeezes. “so you planned that?” you ask, raising a brow.
he side-eyes you. “no.”
“taesan.”
“okay maybe.”
you laugh, and he smiles like he can’t help it. there’s something different about this version of him. less troublemaker, more boy with too much heart and nowhere to put it.
you sit up, the city stretching behind him like a dream, and for a second, just a second, you wonder what would happen if you leaned in.
he’s looking at you.
you’re looking back.
his hand brushes yours, light as static.
you close your eyes, move closer
and then—
“oh hell no.”
you both jolt upright.
from the opposite side of the rooftop, two shadows emerge, both climbing over the edge like it’s their usual entrance.
taesan groans. “you’ve got to be kidding me.”
“bro,” the short one says, stepping into the light, “you knew we were coming tonight.”
“i forgot!”
the second boy, a much taller, with round cheeks and wide eyes, waves cheerfully, like he hasn’t just interrupted the moment of the century.
“hi!” he says brightly, to you. “you’re not part of the usual rooftop squad.”
“not yet,” you mumble.
“don’t be nice,” taesan grumbles, standing. “you just ruined the vibe.”
“you ruined the vibe by being early,” the short one fires back. “we had a whole timing plan!”
taesan sighs like this is a very old argument.
“y/n,” he gestures between them, “this is riwoo, angry, dramatic, and woonhak, baby of the group.”
woonhak beams and does a little wave again.
you can’t help it, you whisper to taesan, “he is the cutest.”
taesan just groans louder. “don’t encourage him.”
woonhak plops down like this is his house and you’re the guest. “you guys bring snacks?”
“do i look unprepared?” taesan mutters, already pulling a bag of chips, two rice cakes, and a bottle of melon soda from his backpack like some kind of urban picnic magician.
riwoo raises his eyebrows. “you brought donuts? for them?”
“shut up,” taesan says, tossing the pack across the rooftop. “you can have half.”
“i want a rice cake,” woonhak chirps.
“you’re lucky you’re cute,” taesan says, handing it over.
you watch all this unfold. three boys on a rooftop at midnight, bickering over snacks and spots on the concrete, and suddenly, the night feels warmer. this is the side of taesan no one gets to see. the one who keeps old traditions alive. the one who remembers to bring enough snacks for everyone. the one who laughs like he means it.
you end up sitting between woonhak and riwoo, passing the soda back and forth as stories start to spill out. ones about rooftops and ruined bikes and the time taesan broke a pipe trying to slide down it like in a movie.
“he landed in someone’s pool,” riwoo says, deadpan.
“i was aiming for it!” taesan insists.
“you broke your arm.”
“yeah, after the pool part. technically still a win.”
you’re laughing too hard to respond. your face hurts from smiling.
taesan glances at you, eyes crinkled. there’s something in his gaze you can’t place, soft and searching, like he’s trying to memorize the sound of your laugh.
you look away, heart thudding louder than before.
somewhere in the distance, a dog barks. a train hums. the city never really sleeps. but for once, it feels like the world’s paused just for you.
you tilt your head back. above, stars scatter across the sky like glitter spilled on black velvet. below, you can see the town, tiny houses, sleepy streets, the faint glow of your porch light still on.
you think about curfews. about rules. about how this night wasn’t supposed to happen. and then you think about how glad you are that it did.
the sky is turning that pale, impossible blue, like someone pressed pause on the night right before it gave up.
you walk slower now, hoodie sleeves pulled over your hands, the rooftops and alleyways behind you, your house still just out of sight.
it’s not the kind of slow that comes from being tired. it’s the kind of slow that says please don’t end yet.
taesan’s quiet too. not in a bad way. just thoughtful. he kicks a pebble down the sidewalk, his hand close to yours but not quite touching. you want to say something. you don’t know what.
instead, he says, “you ever stay out this late before?”
you shake your head. “never.”
he looks over. “so… i was your first time?”
you scoff, elbowing him. “don’t make it weird.”
he laughs, but it’s soft. tired. fond.
you turn onto your street and the quiet shifts. not peaceful anymore. heavier. because from here, you can see it.
your porch light is on.
and the light inside the living room, off when you left, is now glowing faintly behind the curtains.
your heart drops to your knees.
“shit,” you whisper.
taesan stops next to you. he sees it too.
you both just stand there for a second, frozen like deer in someone else’s headlights.
“okay,” he says finally, breath visible in the morning chill. “don’t freak out. could just be uhh—like, someone got up to pee. lights got left on.”
“yeah,” you say. “totally. because my family just loves wasting electricity.”
you take another step. then another. your yard is a war zone of betrayal. every twig looks louder. every shadow feels like an accusation.
taesan nudges your fingers with his. not quite a hold. just a reminder he’s there.
“don’t worry,” he says, too gently. “if you get caught… i’ll take the blame.”
you blink at him.
“taesan.”
“i mean it.”
“that’s the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard,” you whisper, but you’re smiling. kind of. it’s tight. terrified.
you reach the edge of your driveway and crouch instinctively. like you’re in a spy movie. or about to commit a very boring felony.
taesan follows your lead, ducking behind your mom’s flowerbed.
“okay,” you mutter. “plan?”
“i distract. you sneak in. climb up that janky trellis like you’re in mission impossible. easy.”
“you do realize i’ll owe you for life if this works.”
he shrugs. “worth it.”
you glance toward the house.
the window to your room is slightly cracked open, just like you left it when the nights got too warm. but that means you didn’t close it. which means someone might’ve noticed. might’ve gone to check.
your throat is dry.
“i’ll go first,” you whisper. “if it looks bad… run.”
he frowns.
“i’m serious,” you add. “don’t make this worse than it is. just—run.”
he hesitates. but nods.
you creep across the yard. one foot. then the other. the grass is damp. your hoodie feels too loud. everything is glass and you’re walking with a hammer. you reach the side of the house. make it to the window. fingers wrap around the wood. you glance back—
taesan’s crouched low, watching you. he gives a tiny thumbs-up.
you roll your eyes and start to climb. it’s harder than it looks. the wood creaks. your foot slips once. but you make it, window ledge, fingertips, finally swinging one leg over—
and then it happens.
the creak.
that one stupid floorboard by your desk. you always forget. it always betrays you.
your heart stops.
you freeze, mid-step. barely breathing.
down the hallway, something moves.
a shadow.
a person.
you hiss—“go!”—at the window, barely loud enough, but taesan hears.
he’s already moving. but he doesn’t run. he hesitates. stares up at you one last time. something flickers in his eyes. regret, apology, maybe just goodbye. and then he bolts.
vanishes behind the neighbor’s hedges like he was never there. you’re alone now. and the shadow’s getting closer.
the house is too quiet after the storm.
you’re still standing in the hallway when the words settle in the air like dust:
“you’re grounded for a month.”
you don’t argue. you just nod. what would you even say?
the silence that follows is somehow worse. the kind where you can feel someone’s disappointment before they even say it. like static in your bones.
you mumble something like “okay,” something like “goodnight,” and shut your door behind you.
your room is dark except for the bluish light bleeding through the window. you can’t bring yourself to turn on the lamp. the adrenaline’s gone now, but your heart is still racing like it doesn’t know the night’s over.
you’re not even sure what you’re feeling.
regret?
not exactly.
fear?
kind of.
mostly it’s just… him.
taesan.
his hand brushing yours. his laugh on the rooftop. the way he ran when you told him to, but didn’t want to.
you sit on the edge of your bed and realize your fingers are clenched around something.
it’s a note, on another one of those stupid napkins. you forgot he gave it to you, folded into your palm like a secret before you climbed the trellis.
it’s crumpled now, smudged from your grip, but you unfold it anyway.
his handwriting is messy. like him.
“if we get caught, blame me. but if it’s fun, you have to admit i was right.”
you close your eyes. you don’t even hear your phone buzz until the second time. you dive for it.
taesan: did you make it?
you bite your lip. thumbs hover over the screen.
you: define “make it.”
you wait. your heart is loud again.
taesan: define “regret.”
you almost laugh. almost cry. your fingers tremble as you type, curling under the covers like the walls can’t hear you.
you: i don’t.
a pause. then the three dots again.
taesan: knew it.
you roll onto your back and stare at the ceiling. your cheeks hurt from how hard you’re trying not to smile. you don’t know what this is. you just know it matters.
it’s past midnight when you hear it.
click.
soft. quiet. outside your window. you pause your music and sit up. it’s nothing. probably. a squirrel. the wind. you peek through the blinds anyway. and there he is.
taesan.
hoodie up. hair messy. standing at the edge of your yard like a dare you forgot to take. he sees you and holds something up.
a napkin.
scribbled in sharpie, crooked but clear:
“worth it?”
you stare at him, press your forehead against the cold glass, and nod.
taesan’s grin splits across his face. cocky. blinding. he doesn’t stay.
just throws you a wink and disappears again. back into the dark, like a secret the night let slip for just a second.
you crawl back into bed and keep the napkin. fold it. press it into your notebook. write the date in the corner.
because later, when you’re older and the world feels a little less magic, you’ll want to remember this:
the rooftop.
the laughter.
the near-kiss.
the sprint through shadows.
the moment your heart cracked open at the worst possible time.
you got caught. but you also chose it. and that kind of feeling?
that’s worth everything.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
tysm for reading :>
series taglist : @somber-reads @saritahwang
bnd taglist : @bxnedo
perm taglist : @s0shroe @minoouz @the0p @mon2sunjinsuver @solkver @lov3lyaaru @tanghuyuj
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purplereina11 · 2 months ago
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In a match where the scoreboard tells only half the story, a fierce on-pitch rivalry between you and football royalty, Alexia Putellas, evolves into something electric — something unspoken, but deeply felt. Between the lines two players lock eyes, trade touches, and blur the line between competition and connection. What begins as a game becomes a gravity neither can resist.
Part 3: 36 hours in Munich Other Parts
Word Count: 8k
⚽️
You’re in the locker room, post-session. Freshly changed but, pulse still settling, water bottle half-drunk and rolling somewhere near your bench. Everyone’s moving slow — stretches, recovery gear, shower queues. Typical post-training lull.
But you’re pacing already packing away, quicker than normal, you normally linger for longer. You sit finally. Jacket half-zipped. Legs twitchy, breath short, heart doing sprints while your teammates are winding down.
You check your phone for the sixth time in two minutes. Still nothing. Still soon.
“Alright,” a voice cuts through behind you. “Who is it?”
You look toward the voice. Georgia. Leaning against the wall, towel over her shoulder, one brow cocked. You blink. “What?”
“You’re all… shifty.” She waves a vague circle around you. “Nicely-dressed, hair down. You keep checking your phone like it's gonna grow lips.”
You try to brush it off. “It’s nothing.”
Georgia doesn’t even flinch. “Liar. Spill it.”
You stare at her for a second. You weren’t going to tell anyone. But something about her tone — casual but not cruel — makes your chest loosen. And you need to say it out loud. Just once.
You sigh, grab your other boot, and sit. “She’s flying in.”
Georgia pauses. “She?” You assumed Beth would of blabbed by now.
You swallow. “Alexia.”
That name lands like a stone in a calm pool. Georgia blinks once. “Putellas?”
“Yeah.”
She’s staring now. Like full-body-turn, jaw-slightly-dropped, towel-falling-off-the-shoulder staring. “For… ?” she tries.
You sigh a hand going through your freshly washed hair. “For a day.”
Her mouth opens. Then closes. Then opens again. “As in…”
You shrug, but you can’t help the way your face warms. “Yeah. As in that. She followed me after the home game against Barca, after the away game, that's when she first started DM'ing me" You smile at Georgia's mouth hanging open.
"Saying what?"
"Football stuff mainly, about the games, but after the last game at Wembley, she asked if she could come here to see me. I said yes.”
Georgia whistles low. “Bloody hell. You’re actually—” she stops herself. “Wait. Are you nervous?”
You nod, fast and helpless. “I feel like I’m gonna throw up.”
She laughs, loud and bright. “You scored a free kick at Wembley in front of ninety thousand, but you’re sweating because the Queen of Barcelona herself is flying in for a sleepover?”
You put your hand out, "You say it like they're not both just as equally massive" You groan, head in hands. “Why did I tell you.”
Georgia grins. “Because you needed to.” She slaps your back once, warm and steady. “She’ll have a nice time I'm sure. And you're interesting when your social battery is full. Just don’t overthink it.” You look up. Georgia’s still smiling — not teasing now. Just sure. “Go get the girl from the airport,” she says. “Don't over think it, just take it for what it is, it's her idea to come here so let her lead what it is"
You roll your eyes. But you’re nodding too. Because yeah — it’s real now. She’s coming. And you have to be ready.
“Meado knows about mine and Alexia’s conversations, she doesn’t know about her coming. If you know, you need to freak out about this when I’m gone”
⚽️
The car is parked just beyond the pickup loop, engine idling low. Your hoodie’s half-zipped, one hand gripping the steering wheel, the other drumming nervously against your thigh. You’ve been here twenty minutes early, but you’d never admit it.
Your phone lights up with a text.
Alexia: Just got my bag. Coming out now.
You swallow hard.
You glance in the rearview mirror, tug at your hair, check your reflection. You don’t even know why — it’s her, you’ve already been through matches and mud and bruises together — but somehow, this is different.
It’s real. And quiet. And outside the lines. The terminal doors slide open again. A few people walk out. Not her. Another group. Still not. Your fingers tap faster.
Then there she is. Alexia. Dressed in all black, sunglasses pushed up into her hair, duffel bag over her shoulder. She walks out calm, casual, that familiar captain’s posture in every step. But her eyes are already searching.
And the second she sees you, they soften. You watch her approach through the windshield, heart thudding so hard you’re sure she’ll hear it before she even opens the door.
She pulls it open and slides into the passenger seat with that impossible grace, dropping her bag between her feet. You look at her.
She looks at you. And for a second, neither of you says a thing.
“Hey,” you breathe, voice barely above the hum of the engine.
“Hey,” she says back, softer.
You both smile. It’s awkward and perfect and so much. “I can’t believe you’re actually here,” you say as you pull out into traffic.
She leans back in the seat, eyes still on you. “I told you,” she murmurs. “I didn’t want to miss you.”
The city rolls past in a blur of grey and gold. Low sunlight spills across the dashboard, and the soft thrum of music — something wordless and warm — fills the quiet between you.
You’re both a little awkward. Not painfully so. Just… cautiously new.
It’s strange, this version of her — in your passenger seat, seatbelt clicking into place, fingers drumming lightly on her thigh. She’s looking out the window, but keeps glancing at you when she thinks you won’t notice.
You notice. “Airport was easy, then?” you ask, just to fill the silence.
She nods. “Very. One person tried to sneak a photo. But I gave them the look.”
You smirk. “The full ‘Putellas Death Glare’?”
“Level three only,” she says, mock serious. “Mild warning.”
You laugh under your breath, relaxing a little. Her accent’s thicker in person, softer in a car. You don’t know why that makes your stomach twist the way it does.
She glances at you again, a little longer this time. “It’s weird,” she murmurs. “Hearing you talk without a crowd around us.”
You smile. “You’ll get used to it.”
You make it through another light, and the silence stretches — still easy, but expectant.
Then suddenly — you freeze. “Oh shit.”
Alexia blinks. “What?”
You wince. “I forgot to tell you something kind of… important.”
She turns in her seat, curious. “What did you forget?”
You drum your fingers on the wheel. “I have a dog.”
Alexia blinks again. Then a slow smile tugs at her lips. “That’s what you forgot?”
“Well, yeah,” you say, already cringing. “I just—I meant to tell you. I’m not one of those people who spring dogs on people. He’s sweet. I swear.”
She’s laughing now — full, rich, effortless. “You make it sound like you’ve got a bear waiting at the door.”
“He’s just… enthusiastic,” you say, biting your lip. “His name’s Teddy.”
Alexia tilts her head, teasing. “Named after?”
“Teddy bear. Don’t judge me.”
She holds up both hands. “No judgment. But I can’t believe you didn’t lead with that.”
You glance at her. “Still time to turn around, you know.”
She smiles wider, looking straight ahead again. “I came here to see you,” she says softly. “Teddy’s just a bonus.”
And just like that, the nerves quiet. Just a little.
⚽️
You pull into the parking spot in the street, heart suddenly faster than it was on the pitch at Wembley.
Alexia’s quiet beside you, seatbelt undone, hands folded in her lap. But you feel her eyes on you as you kill the engine and sit for a second longer than necessary.
“This is it,” you say, finally, looking up at your loft apartment on the third floor
She nods. “Cute street.”
You grin. “Cute flat.”
She smirks. “Cute dog?”
You shoot her a look. “He’s trying his best.”
You both laugh as you get out. The early evening air is cool, the sky dipping into that soft lilac blue. You grab her small bag from the boot, and as you unlock the door, you hesitate.
“He might bark.”
“I can handle it,” she says, smiling.
You push the door open. It takes exactly one second.
Teddy barrels around the corner, all paws and excitement, nails tapping on the floor like a drumroll. His tail is going wild, and he’s already launching toward you when he spots the new presence behind you.
Alexia steps in, closing the door behind her. Teddy freezes. Then bolts straight for her.
You open your mouth to intervene—“Teddy, no!”—but before you can, Alexia’s already crouching down, calm and soft.
“Hola, precioso,” she murmurs, holding out a hand. And Teddy melts.
Tail wagging, head pressing into her palm, tongue ready for her cheek like she’s his long-lost soulmate.
You blink. “Well,” you mutter, “traitor.”
Alexia looks up at you, grinning as she scratches behind his ears. “He has taste,” she says. “Clearly.”
You lean against the doorframe, watching her — hair falling into her face, Teddy now rolling onto his back like he’s never known loyalty — and something in your chest settles. Warms.
Alexia stands, finally, brushing dog fur from her knees.
“Welcome to Germany,” you say, quieter now.
She doesn’t look away when she answers. “Thanks,” she says. “It already feels like a good idea.”
And for the first time all day, you believe you can relax. Because she’s here. This is just the beginning.
You toe off your shoes by the door, glance back to find Alexia standing just inside, Teddy still sniffing reverently at her shoes like he’s found royalty. Her bag’s at her feet, her jacket draped over her arm.
You clear your throat. “Right—um. Tour.”
She smiles like she’s already charmed. “I’m ready.”
You lead her into the main space — open-plan living room and kitchen. The walls are clean, but lived-in. A few photos on a shelf — one of the squad after a cup match, another of you and Beth pulling stupid faces at the camera. A soft throw blanket is half-fallen off the back of the couch. A candle you forgot you lit earlier is still flickering on the coffee table.
“This is the, uh—living-slash-existing space,” you say, gesturing vaguely. “Teddy thinks it belongs to him.”
Teddy immediately hops onto the couch, circles twice, and settles like you’ve just proven his point. Alexia grins.
You lead her into the kitchen, flicking on the under-counter light. “I don’t cook much, but the kettle works. Coffee pods are in here.” You tap a cupboard. “Mugs — there.”
She opens it, scans the shelves. “All mismatched.”
You shrug. “I collect them. Kind of.”
“I like it,” she says, softly. “It feels like someone lives here.”
You duck your head, smiling.
You show her the bathroom next — small, clean, stocked with too many hair ties and one towel you warn her not to use because it’s definitely Teddy’s now.
And then the hallway. Two doors.
“That one’s mine,” you say, thumb over your shoulder. “The other’s yours while you’re here.”
She doesn’t hesitate. Just peeks inside. A double bed, made neatly. Fresh towels folded at the foot.
She steps inside. Smiles softly looking around more.
You clear your throat. “I didn’t want it to feel weird.”
“It doesn’t,” she says. “It feels like you thought about it.”
“I did,” you admit.
It slips out quieter than you mean it to, but you don’t take it back.
Alexia meets your eyes. “Thank you. For having me.”
You nod toward the room. “Make yourself at home, yeah? My place is your place.”
She steps a little closer. Not much. Just enough that you feel her presence like a hum. “I already feel at home,” she says.
And the way she says it. It makes your chest ache. In the best way. You raise your eyes when they moved away from hers, "I'll um, leave you to unpack" you take a step back, "Teddy" you call, he appears around the foot of the bed, "Come" you give Alexia one final look and you walk back down the hallway.
She smiled opening her bag as she heard you chatting away to Teddy about getting him some treats, asking for various tricks from him.
⚽️
You tried to cook. You really did. But somewhere between boiling the pasta and burning the garlic, you gave up and ordered takeaway. Alexia didn’t mind. In fact, she looked almost relieved.
Now you’re both curled up on the couch, watching a show on a streaming app neither of you are paying attention to, warm plates in your laps and the soft, flickering glow of your fairy lights stretching across the ceiling.
She’s in one of your hoodies now. You hadn’t meant to offer it — just handed it over without thinking when she mentioned how cold planes make her feel.
It swallows her in all the right ways.
Teddy’s curled at your feet. Loyal again. For now.
“Okay,” she says mid-bite, glancing at you. “I need to know something.”
You look over, wiping your fingers on a napkin. “What?”
She gestures with her fork. “Do you actually like this pasta place, or is it just close?”
You fake a gasp. “You don’t like it?”
“I didn’t say that,” she says, trying to hide her smile. “I just—your face when you handed it to me said, ‘This is the best I’ve got, but I know it’s not the best in the world.’”
You laugh. “Alright, yeah. It’s proximity-based love.”
She hums thoughtfully. “Respect.”
The TV plays something forgettable in the background — neither of you are really watching it. The kind of background noise that just fills in the edges of something far more focused. Like the way she’s sitting. One leg folded beneath her, turned just slightly toward you. Or the way you’re watching her mouth more than listening to her words.
She puts her plate down on the coffee table, wipes her hands, then leans back. “You were nervous,” she says suddenly.
You blink. “When?”
“Earlier. At the airport. In the car.”
You roll your eyes. “Was it that obvious?”
She smiles, soft and real. “A little.”
You look down at your plate, then back at her. “I just… didn’t want it to feel weird.”
Alexia tilts her head slightly. “It doesn’t. You make it easy.”
That catches you off guard. You blink once, then set your plate down too. The silence stretches. But it’s not awkward. It’s warm. “I’m glad you came,” you say.
She leans her head back against the couch, eyes on you now in that slow, deliberate way she does everything. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” she says.
Alexia is fiddling with the sleeve of your hoodie — pulling at the hem with her thumb like she doesn’t realise she’s doing it. She’s not really looking at you. Not often. Just quick glances. Then back down. Then away.
You’re talking about random things. Easy things. Football. Training. Travel. Things you are confident you have in common.
She tells you about a weird airport coffee she had in Zurich. You tell her about the time Teddy accidentally got locked in your bathroom for 20 minutes and emerged looking personally betrayed.
And every now and then, there’s a pause that lasts a little longer than it should. But neither of you fill it. You just let it be. Eventually, you nudge your leg gently against hers. “You’re quiet.”
Alexia shifts. “Am I?”
You smile. “A little. For someone who just flew here to hang out with me.”
She huffs a quiet laugh. It’s barely there. “I’m just…” She trails off. Shrugs. “I’m not good at this part.”
You tilt your head. “What part?”
She stares at the coffee table like it’s got answers. “The talking part.” You wait. She finally looks at you — really looks. “I know how to show up to a match,” she says, voice low. “How to lead. How to win. That makes sense to me. But this?” She gestures between you. “This is…” She doesn’t finish.
You finish it for her. “New.”
She nods. And for a second, you think maybe she’s going to stand up, shift away, hide behind something safe. But she doesn’t. She just sits there. Awkward. Present. Willing.
You offer a small, understanding smile. “We don’t have to figure it all out tonight.”
She exhales, a little lighter now. “Good. Because I didn’t bring a tactics board.”
You both laugh. Softly. Easily. She doesn’t say anything else for a while — just leans back again, arms crossed over her chest now, head tilted slightly in your direction.
Eventually, she mumbles, almost like it’s for herself, “I’m glad I came too.” You nudge her foot with yours, with a gentle smile.
Alexia’s sitting sideways on the couch, one leg tucked under her, the other stretched out slightly, your hoodie sleeves pushed halfway up her forearms. You’re close, but not quite touching.
The conversation’s slowed to a hum — soft music talk, playlists, half-confessions about guilty pleasure songs. She mentions a Catalan band you’ve never heard of, and while she’s scrolling through her phone to find a song, your eyes drift downward.
And then you see it. A couple of faint lines on her knee. Pale, clean, but unmistakable. The scar. You pause. Not out of shock — you knew. You remember the coverage, the months out, the comeback.
But seeing it? That’s different. It’s not just a story now. It’s her. She notices your eyes drop. And for the first time all night, she goes still.
“Yeah,” she says softly, not quite looking at you. “That’s… that.”
You meet her eyes again. She doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t hide. But there’s something guarded in her voice. Like she’s used to people staring at it, asking about it, expecting something from it. You don’t ask. You just nod once, gentle. “Looks like strength,” you say, matter-of-fact.
Alexia’s brow furrows, unsure if you’re serious. But you are. She shifts slightly — not closer, but more open somehow. Her hand moves instinctively toward her knee, fingers grazing the scar once, like she’s reminding herself it’s still there.
“Sometimes it feels like I left a part of myself in there,” she murmurs. “The version of me from before.”
You let that hang. Then, quietly, “The version of you now scored against me. Twice.”
She huffs a breath. “Only one actually went in.”
“Still counts.”
She glances at you — and her smile is tired, genuine, laced with something like gratitude. Not for the words. For the way you didn’t try to fix it. Just saw it. And stayed.
The playlist she queued has faded into a quiet acoustic hum — soft, wordless, like it knows it shouldn’t interrupt. The light in the room has gone warm and low, one lamp casting golden arcs over her face as she leans back into the couch, knee still bent, hand still ghosting near the scar.
You don’t speak. You wait. And eventually — slowly — she does.
“I didn’t think I’d come back,” she says, voice low, eyes fixed on the ceiling like it’s easier not to look at you. “Not really.”
You blink, still, letting her keep control of it.
“Everyone kept saying I would. That I’d be fine. That I was strong, that I’d be back in a year. But inside…” She swallows. “I didn’t feel strong. I didn’t even feel whole. I felt… like I’d been cut out of myself.”
You shift just slightly. Not closer — not yet. But enough to let her know, I’m here. She breathes, slow.
“I’d watch games and feel like I didn’t belong anymore. Like I’d already been replaced. And I didn’t want anyone to know how scared I was because… I’m not supposed to be scared. I’m her, you know?” She finally looks at you now. “La Reina” You meet her eyes, steady. She adds, barely audible, “But I felt like glass.”
The words hang in the room — fragile, but not broken. You nod once. Then say the only thing you really believe in this moment. “I think you’re better now.”
Her brow pulls, confused. “What?”
You lean back, resting your head on the couch, looking up like she did. “You’re smarter. Sharper. Your passes don’t just thread — they cut. You’ve got control most people don’t even understand. And there’s a weight to the way you move now, like you know exactly what it costs to step back onto the pitch.”
You turn your head to her again.
“I’ve watched you before. Really watched you. You were always brilliant. But now?” You shrug. “You’re something else.”
Alexia stares at you, mouth parted slightly — like no one’s ever said it that way. Not like that. Not to her. She doesn’t say thank you. She just shifts — this time closer. Not dramatic. Just enough. Her shoulder brushes yours. Her knee bumps your thigh. And she lets out a breath that sounds a little like relief. “Thank you,” she murmurs eventually, eyes back on the scar. And then, softer: “I’ve never said that stuff out loud.”
You nod. “I know.” The quiet returns — not heavy this time. Comfortable. Like something sacred just happened, and you both know it.
She’s close now. Arm resting lightly against yours. Your hoodie sleeves bunching at her wrists. The scar still visible — but no longer raw. You glance down at her, the way her gaze has softened since she spoke, how her edges feel less guarded, like your living room gave her permission she didn’t even know she needed.
You swallow once. Think. Then speak. “You know… when I moved to Germany, people said it was career suicide.”
Alexia turns her head slightly, brows faintly drawn. Listening now. Not out of politeness. Intention. You stare ahead.
“Agents stopped calling. Interviews dried up. One coach — someone I used to really trust — told me I’d disappear. That I’d ‘fade out quietly.’” You huff a laugh, but there’s no humour in it. “I hadn’t even unpacked yet.”
Alexia is silent. Not interrupting. Just there.
“I’d scroll through social media and see all the squad updates, the camps, the conversations I wasn’t in anymore. And I thought… maybe they’re right. Maybe I peaked.”
You pause. Swallow.
“I started believing it. Like I was a mistake that was just waiting to happen.”
Alexia shifts slightly, her arm pressing into yours, grounding you.
“But then,” you continue, voice quieter now, “I played. I worked. And I kept showing up. And slowly… something changed. Not in them. In me.”
Alexia tilts her head. You glance at her.
“I stopped playing to prove people wrong,” you say. “And I started playing like they didn’t get a say.”
There’s a pause. And then—so soft you almost miss it—she says, “I noticed.”
You look at her. She’s watching you now — full on. Not blinking. Not shrinking. And when she speaks again, it’s steady.
“You didn’t disappear. You became better.”
You smile, but there’s a knot in your throat. Because you know she means it. And you never expected to hear it from her. Alexia leans her head back against the couch, her body still relaxed but her voice dipped low again.
“I know what that doubt feels like,” she says. “And I know how heavy it is to prove yourself to people who already made up their minds.”
You nod. “It’s exhausting.”
She murmurs, “And lonely.”
The room goes quiet again. But this time? Not lonely. Just two people sitting in a space neither of you were sure existed — honest, open, real. No spotlight. No pressure. Just you and her. And the ache you’ve both come back from.
⚽️
It’s late.
So late the playlist stopped a while ago. So late the city outside your windows feels like it’s on mute. You both stretch at almost the same time — that lazy, reluctant movement that means okay, maybe we should sleep but neither of you want to break the quiet just yet.
You stand first. Alexia follows. She’s still in your hoodie, tugging it down slightly, bare feet padding across the floor as you walk her to the guest room — side by side in a hush that feels warmer than anything words could’ve done.
You pause at the door.
She turns to face you, one hand on the doorframe. Her hair’s a little messy now, eyes slightly glassy with exhaustion. Her voice, when it comes, is soft and almost shy.
“Thanks for tonight.”
You smile, slow. “Thanks for coming.”
She nods, then looks down like she might say something else. But she doesn’t. You step back slightly, hands in your hoodie pockets, eyes flicking to hers.
“Goodnight, Alexia.”
She looks up at that. And for a second — just one second — the look on her face says everything else she didn’t say. Then she nods, once. Barely a smile. But it reaches her eyes. “Goodnight.”
She slips into the room. You don’t linger. Just turn toward your own — quiet footsteps down the short hall. You push the door open and Teddy. Right there, already curled up in the middle of your bed. One eye open, tail thumping lazily against the duvet like, about time.
You smile, rubbing the back of your neck as you sit on the edge of the bed. Your phone buzzes on the nightstand. You pick it up.
Alexia: Sleep well. You talk less than I thought you would. I liked it.
You stare at the message for a second, then type back:
You: You talk more than I thought you would. I liked it too.
Teddy sighs dramatically. You laugh under your breath. Then switch off the light. And for the first time in a long time, you fall asleep not needing to prove anything. Because she’s here. And you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
⚽️
You wake to the smell of coffee. And the distinct sound of Teddy betraying you. You roll out of bed, hair a mess, hoodie tugged low over your hands, padding barefoot into the kitchen where—There she is.
Alexia.
Still in your hoodie. One sock on, one foot bare. Mug in hand, eyes still puffy with sleep, standing at your counter while Teddy leans against her legs like he’s never loved anyone else.
She glances up when you walk in, and her smile is soft. Unbrushed. Unfiltered. Real.
“Morning,” she says, voice husky.
You squint. “How’d you find the biscuits?”
She holds up the mug in salute. “I’m elite. And you left a post-it that said ‘left cupboard, top shelf, if teddy won't leave you alone'.”
You grin. “I knew past-me had potential.”
She turns back to the counter, pouring more water into the kettle, while Teddy attempts to wedge himself between her and the cabinets, tail sweeping the floor like a metronome.
“You realise he’s using you,” you say, grabbing a clean mug.
“He can use me all he wants,” she says, reaching down to scratch his ears. “He’s warm.”
You watch her — the way her fingers slide under Teddy’s collar, the way her mouth twitches when he tries to climb into her actual lap. It’s not a moment. Not a capital-letter Event. But something in your chest aches anyway.
Because she looks right here.
You grab the eggs, start cracking them into the pan. She pulls down two plates without being asked. Neither of you talks much. Just a few sleepy comments, heads bumping once as you both reach for the cutlery drawer.
When you sit across from her at the little kitchen table — plates steaming, dog underfoot — she catches your eye as you tuck your leg up under you. She doesn’t look away. Not for a while.
You hold it. You hold her. And the smile she gives you. It says I see this. I feel it. I’m here.
After breakfast, you throw a hoodie over your tee, pull on your trainers, and rattle Teddy’s lead. He loses his mind, of course — spinning, barking, pawing at the door like it personally wronged him.
“You wanna come?” you ask, glancing over your shoulder at Alexia.
She shrugs. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
She throws on a coat of yours on hook, slips into her trainers, and follows you out the door — hair tied up, sleeves rolled down, sunglasses perched on her head like she forgot the sun lives here too despite the cold.
You walk through quiet neighbourhood streets, Teddy darting side to side, nose in every hedge. You and her? Side by side. Not touching. Not saying much. But every now and then, you catch her watching you. And when you glance back— She doesn’t look away.
You loop around the quiet end of the park, the noise of the street fading behind you, and find your bench — tucked under a tree just starting to bloom, a little weathered, sun-warmed. Teddy bounds ahead, lead dropped loose in your hand, tail sweeping in wide arcs like a painter’s brush.
Alexia sits first, arms wrapped around herself like she’s trying not to take up space but still wants to stay close. You drop beside her, leg stretched long, hands resting over your thighs.
For a while, you both just sit. Watching Teddy. Letting the quiet settle.
Then Alexia speaks, voice dry. “You really weren’t kidding about him being enthusiastic.”
You glance at her. She’s staring at Teddy, who’s currently rolling in something deeply questionable on the grass. You sigh.
“Yeah but he’s loyal.. until someone has better snacks anyway.”
She snorts. “I didn’t even have snacks.”
“Exactly,” you say, nudging her foot with yours. “He’s just shallow.”
She smirks, then leans back a little, adjusting the sleeves of your coat again. “He’s got taste, though. He likes me.”
You raise a brow. “Are you calling yourself a snack?”
“I’m not denying it.”
You laugh — sharp, sudden, surprised. And it makes her smile wider “You’ve got this whole mysterious captain thing,” you say, squinting at her. “But secretly, you’re kind of cocky.”
She tilts her head, smug. “Only when I’m right.” You roll your eyes, but your grin’s too soft to mean it. There’s a pause. Then, more gently “I like this,” she says, not looking at you now — just forward, at the dog, at the path.
You shift, the warmth of her words settling low in your ribs. “This?” you echo.
She nods. “The quiet. You. Teddy. This bench.” She pauses, then smirks again. “Even your coat.”
You laugh, quieter this time. “You make it look better than I do.”
“I know.” She meets your eyes then. And the silence that follows doesn't last long until you're leaning into each other laughing about it.
You clear your throat, picking at a thread on your sleeve, when the little old lady that you see everyday was eyeing you with annoyance, "So, um… are you always like this when you’re off the pitch?”
Alexia blinks. “Like what?”
You shrug. “A bit smug. Surprisingly funny. Secretly soft.”
She narrows her eyes, mock offended. “Secretly?”
You smirk. “I mean, the brand is very serious captain with cheekbones that could cut glass.”
Alexia hums. “Cheekbones and a scar. Very dramatic.”
“Oh, absolutely. You’re one trench coat away from being a Bond villain.” That gets a real laugh — full-bodied and sudden. She leans her head back against the bench, still smiling.
Then, “You make this easy,” she says, softer now. “Being here.”
You glance at her. And for a second, it’s all there again — the pitch, the free kick, the weight of it all.
But here, it’s light. You bump your knee gently against hers. “I’m glad you came, Alexia.” She doesn’t look away this time.
“I am too.”
You stretch your legs out in front of you, glancing sideways at her — Alexia, sitting there so casually now, one foot tucked beneath her, face tilted toward the sun like she’s been here a dozen times instead of just once.
You reach down to pat Teddy’s back as he wanders close.
Then glance at her.
“Do you like clichés?”
She lifts a brow. “What kind of question is that?”
You shrug, casual. “Like, romantic comedies. Grand gestures. Saying the same dumb things everyone else does. Standing on famous streets pretending you’re having an authentic experience.”
Alexia leans back, lips twitching. “You’re stalling.”
You grin. “Maybe.”
She squints at you now, playful. “Okay. Ask me properly.”
You turn toward her fully, arms folded over your chest like you’re about to deliver something serious.
“Would you like to do all the ridiculously cliché tourist things in Munich with me today?”
Alexia’s head tips slightly to the side, considering.
You keep going.
“I mean the whole deal — the Marienplatz selfie. Pretending to care about the Glockenspiel. Giant pretzels. A walk through the Englischer Garten where I’ll tell you lies about German history I definitely make up.”
Her smile creeps in slowly — then fully.
“I want lederhosen photos.”
You gasp, dramatically. “That’s advanced cliché.”
“I’m committed.”
You laugh. “God help us.”
She leans in slightly. “Only if you wear them too.”
You groan. “I’ve made a mistake.”
“You offered.”
You hold her gaze for a second, heart kicking a little louder now beneath all the lightness.
And she’s still smiling.
But there’s something genuine behind it.
Like maybe, for the first time in a long time, she’s just saying yes to a day that doesn’t come with pressure, or cameras, or expectations.
Just you.
She nudges your knee with hers. “So? We going or what?”
You whistle for Teddy. “Marienplatz, prepare yourself.”
⚽️
You start with Marienplatz. Because of course you do.
The crowds are already gathering under the watchful clock of the Neues Rathaus, phones out and necks craning toward the tower. You know the Glockenspiel starts at eleven. You’ve seen it a dozen times. It’s slow. It’s slightly underwhelming. But you still pretend like it’s sacred.
“People clap after this?” Alexia murmurs beside you, watching a small bronze knight rotate in a slow, juddering circle.
“Every time,” you whisper back. “It’s powerful.”
She gives you the driest look you’ve ever seen and it almost takes you out.
You snap a selfie right there — her unimpressed expression next to your exaggerated awe. It’s perfect. You don't even check it before saving.
From there it’s Viktualienmarkt — where you insist on finding the most absurdly oversized pretzel possible. Alexia watches you barter with a vendor and somehow ends up paying instead. She splits it with you anyway. You walk through the stalls like locals, even though you're both definitely not.
You buy her a little pin shaped like a beer stein. You stick it to her jacket pocket. “Souvenir,” she says.
You end up in the Englischer Garten by early afternoon, the kind of place where the trees stretch wide and people picnic like they’ve got nowhere else to be. Teddy loses his mind over a pigeon and nearly pulls Alexia into a fountain.
You don’t let that one go quietly. “Two time Ballon D'or, and you still couldn’t hold the line.”
“It was a very fast pigeon.”
You laugh until you’re leaning against her, shoulder to shoulder, catching your breath while Teddy runs victory laps around you both.
At the beer garden, you sit under the shade of chestnut trees, and Alexia orders something she can’t pronounce while you pretend to translate and definitely make it worse.
She tries white sausage and doesn’t hide her reaction.
You raise a brow. “Too real?”
“I can mark out midfielders. I can’t defend this texture.”
You toast anyway.
Later, you wander without purpose — through side streets with painted shutters and ivy-streaked balconies, past musicians playing under archways and little kids holding balloon strings tight to their wrists. Alexia keeps her sunglasses low on her nose, watching it all.
“I get why you like it here,” she says.
You glance over. “Yeah?”
She nods, then adds softly, “You fit here.”
It sticks.
You end up near the river as golden hour starts to take the edge off the buildings. There’s a stone ledge overlooking the water. You sit. She leans back on her hands, face turned to the sky.
“Okay,” she says finally. “This was... fun.”
You grin. “You sound surprised.”
“I am. I didn’t think cliché could feel like this.”
“Like what?”
She glances at you. Her expression doesn’t change much — but her voice does. “Easy.”
You don’t say anything for a second. Just smile. Then bump her knee gently with yours. “Think we earned ice cream?”
She tilts her head. “Is that part of the cliché package?”
“Obviously.”
You walk back into the city with cones in hand, Teddy leading the way again, tail wagging like a metronome keeping time with your steps.
And somewhere along that walk — maybe crossing a street, or brushing hands as you trade bites of each other’s flavours — something soft settles between you.
Not tension. Not expectation. Just understanding.
⚽️
You swing by the flat first — the front door barely closed before Teddy flops dramatically across the hallway floor like he’s survived something immense.
Alexia kneels down beside him, ruffles behind his ears, and says, “You’ll be alright without us.”
He sighs like he won’t.
You both change quickly — nothing fancy, just different hoodies, fresh faces, the kind of casual that looks better on her than it has any right to.
The bar you pick is a local one — tucked into a side street off the main square, part wine bar, part café, part 'we might have regulars but we won’t pretend to know your name unless you want us to.'
You take the corner table. The lights are soft and golden, the walls cluttered with mismatched frames and shelves of wine bottles. You order a bottle of white you’ve had before — one you hope she’ll like — and a snack board that arrives faster than expected: warm bread, cheese, olives, salted almonds.
She looks around, impressed. “You bring all your international friends here?”
You raise an eyebrow. “Only the ones who knock me out the champions league.”
“Fair,” she says, hiding a smile behind her glass.
You’ve barely had a sip before you reach into your bag and pull out a battered Uno deck.
Alexia blinks. “You brought cards?”
“They have them as you walk in. I’m competitive,” you say, shrugging. “And brave.”
She laughs once, short and sharp. “You’re going to regret this.”
“I’ve already accepted that.” You deal. And it begins.
It starts civil. Friendly. Smirks over skips. Light jabs when she stacks draw twos. You both pick at the snack board between plays, hands brushing occasionally as you reach for the same olive.
But by the second game, It’s personal.
She slams down a reverse like it’s a tactical sub in a final. You pull a draw four from your hoodie pocket like a weapon of war. She narrows her eyes. You lift your brows, mock-innocent.
It’s deadly serious. It’s ridiculous. And you’re both grinning like you haven’t stopped since this morning.
The bar starts to fill in slowly, but your little corner stays quiet — like a bubble you haven’t noticed growing around you. Just you, her, your wine glasses catching the light, and a stack of discarded cards that tells a very messy, very entertaining story.
Somewhere between games, you pause — mid-sip, watching her draw her hand.
“Are you always like this?” you ask. “Lowkey evil under all that calm?”
She looks up, unbothered. “Only when provoked.”
You laugh, leaning back. “Remind me not to cross you again.”
She smirks, eyes flicking up at you over her cards. “You already did,” she says, laying down a wild card.
The round ends. She wins.
You groan dramatically and throw your cards onto the table. She raises her hands in mock celebration, then quietly steals another piece of cheese from your side of the board.
“You know,” she says casually, chewing, “This might be the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”
You blink. She doesn’t look up right away — just flips the deck over and starts reshuffling it absentmindedly.
But you’re watching her. And there’s no doubt in your mind. She means it.
⚽️
The walk home from the bar is slow. No rush. No real conversation either. Just a lot of little smiles. Shoulders brushing sometimes. The city quieter now — streetlights pooling in soft circles at your feet.
When you reach your building, you both slip inside quietly, Teddy greeting you at the door with a sleepy grumble and a thump of his tail.
You toe off your shoes, hang your jacket, glance over at her — and then, impulsively:
“Wanna see something stupid?”
Alexia blinks. “Not usually the way someone convinces me to follow them, but… sure.”
You grin.
You lead her through the flat — past the living room, into your bedroom. Teddy hops onto the bed like he’s reclaiming his kingdom. You move to the window — the one you always leave cracked just a little — and unlatch it the rest of the way.
You glance back at her.
She’s standing with her arms folded, watching you like she’s bracing for something truly ridiculous.
You duck out first — onto the sloped bit of roofing just beyond the window, socks scraping softly against the tiles. You crouch low, then stand carefully, balancing with practiced ease.
You turn and beckon. Alexia just stares. “You’re kidding.”
“Nope.”
She steps closer, looks out.
The drop’s not that bad. 22 feet, maybe. But the tiles are slick with dew, and there’s no railing, no barrier, no sensible adult supervision.
“This is wildly unsafe,” she mutters.
You just smile. “Come on. I’m not gonna let you fall.”
She glares at you, muttering something in Catalan that sounds very judgmental. But you can see it — the twitch at the corner of her mouth. She’s not really mad.
She’s just concerned. Which somehow only makes it better.
After a few more seconds of muttering under her breath, she sighs dramatically, steps up onto the ledge, and eases herself through the window with surprising grace — a little unsteady at first, reaching for your hand instinctively.
You catch it. Steady her. “See?” you say, squeezing her fingers lightly. “Easy.”
“Still stupid,” she mutters.
But she doesn’t pull away. You lead her a few steps up — careful, slow — until you both settle onto the slightly flatter part of the roof, side by side, legs pulled up to your chest..
She finally looks up the whole city stretches out in front of her.
The rooftops curve into the skyline, lights twinkling like fallen stars. The dark river cuts a lazy path through the buildings. A few stray sirens whine in the distance, but mostly it’s just quiet. Wide and open and impossibly still.
Alexia exhales — a soft, almost disbelieving sound. The corners of her mouth lift. And whatever worry she had before melts off her shoulders.
“Okay,” she says, voice lighter now. “Maybe it’s worth the risk.”
You bump your knee against hers. “Told you.”
You sit like that for a long time — no rush, no plan. Just the two of you, the city breathing around you, your hands close enough to touch if you dared.
Every now and then, you glance over and catch her watching the lights, the horizon, the night itself like she’s letting herself believe she could belong to something this simple.
The climb back in through the window is quieter than the climb out.
Alexia moves slower now, heavy with the kind of tired that comes after a day full of laughter and nowhere to be but here. She drops softly into your bedroom, feet padding across the floor, hoodie sleeves pulled down over her hands again.
You follow behind, closing the window gently behind you.
Teddy’s already curled up on the bed, barely lifting his head to acknowledge your return. He gives Alexia one approving thump of the tail. You’re not sure if it’s for coming back safely or for still being here.
You rub at the back of your neck, eyes a little hazy, wine long gone.
Alexia stands in the doorway to the guest room now, hand on the frame. Her expression is soft — not sleepy exactly, just settled.
She looks at you. And it hits again — this moment. How simple it is. How much it means. You lean against the wall across from her, arms crossed loosely, smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.
“I’ll make sure you don’t miss your flight in the morning,” you say.
She smirks faintly. “You better.”
“I’ll set three alarms.”
She lifts an eyebrow. “Four.”
You laugh, quiet and tired. “Pushy.”
She shrugs. “Punctual.”
The pause that follows isn’t awkward. It’s full. Of all the things neither of you are saying right now. But it’s okay. You already said so much.
She shifts slightly, head tilting. “Today was…”
You nod. “Yeah.”
She doesn’t finish the sentence. She doesn’t have to.
You step forward, and without thinking, you pull her into a light hug — not long, not heavy, but enough. Enough to feel the warmth of her hoodie, the steady beat of her breath, the soft slide of her hand as it rests briefly on the back of your head.
You pull back just a little. She’s still close. “Goodnight, Alexia.”
Her eyes flicker — tired and unreadable, but warmer now “Goodnight.”
She steps into the guest room and closes the door behind her with a gentle click. You exhale.
Teddy stretches across your bed with a groan like he just ran the city.
You flick off the hallway light, pad back into your room, and crawl beneath the covers.
The room is dark now. But your chest is full. And your alarms are definitely set. Tomorrow she leaves.
⚽️
The alarms buzz you awake just after six.
Teddy barely lifts his head as you stumble into the kitchen, yawning, the world outside still caught between night and day.
Alexia’s already up. You find her sitting on the edge of the couch, tying her sneakers — hair messy, hoodie slung loose over her frame, backpack by her feet.
She looks up when you walk in, and there’s a small, tired smile waiting for you. “Morning,” she says, voice thick with sleep.
You hum a reply, rubbing your eyes. Neither of you rush.
You load Teddy into the backseat. He whines a little, sensing something is different. The drive to the airport is quiet — warm coffee cups in the holders, the radio playing something soft neither of you bother to change.
She leans her forehead against the window once, watching the fields blur into concrete. When you pull up to Departures, you leave the car idling, glancing over at her.
She’s already unbuckling her seatbelt, but neither of you move right away.
The city is waking up outside. You’re wide awake here. Alexia shifts in her seat to face you. “This was…” She trails off, the words sticking again.
You smile, small. “Yeah. It was.”
She fiddles with the ring on her finger.
You grip the steering wheel lightly. “You’ll make your flight.”
She nods. “Thanks for not letting me oversleep.”
You bump your shoulder against hers gently. “Thanks for making it hard to say goodbye.”
That gets a real smile — tired, fond, a little crooked. She opens the door, stepping out into the sharp morning air. You get out too.
You meet her around the back of the car — not rushed, not dramatic. Just standing there, with a sea of taxis and early travelers moving around you like another current you’re not ready to step into yet.
She shoulders her bag. You jam your hands into your hoodie pockets.
Then — simply — she steps closer. You think she might hug you. You think you might need her to.
But instead, she reaches up — slow, careful — and hooks one finger lightly around your hoodie drawstring. Tugs it once. Soft. Playful.
“Text me when you get home,” you say, even though you’re already sure she will.
Alexia nods. “You too.”
And then — because she knows when to let things stay perfect — she turns and walks toward the entrance. You watch her weave through the doors. She doesn’t look back. Not until she’s just inside, bag slung over one shoulder, ticket in hand. Then she does. Just once.
She finds you through the glass — through the crowd and the noise and the press of the world. She smiles. Small. Sure. Enough.
You lift a hand. She does too. Then she’s gone, swallowed into the current of the airport.
You stand there a moment longer, breath fogging in the chill, Teddy’s nose nudging your hand.
You pat his head. Then you climb back into the car. And drive home, to grab a few more hours of sleep before training.
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shouyuus · 3 months ago
Text
send me one + a character and i'll write you a drabble
─── 翔陽 INFAMMABLE BRIDGES
shouyou; 1,600 words; sfw, fluff; childhood friends to lovers; 5 times shou remembers + 1 time that you do
he has never been the forgetting kind -- not as a child, when, after the first time you told him you thought daisies were prettier than roses (who likes roses anyway? not you, eughck), he'd shown up at your door with dirty nails and a fistful of road-side daisies. his missing-toothed smile had been wide as a yawning horizon, bright as the first strip of lemon-yellow sunlight on a summer's day.
he's never been the forgetting kind, not as an middle school student -- even though his grades have always been nothing short of abominable, he's never forgotten that you prefer .7 lead over .5 because it's better for doodling in the edges of your notebooks.
"c'mon shou, you gotta focus if you wanna get into a good high school!" you tap your pencil against his mad scribble of illegible notes even as he whines, peering up at you with those honey-warm eyes.
"but its sooooo haaaard," he drops his face to the table, turning to pillow his cheek to the pages of the notebook, uncaring of the fact that when he picks his face back up, it'll be lead-stained. you fight back an exasperated grin, reaching out to wipe at the dark smear.
he pauses for a second at the familiar warmth of your touch. you drop your eyes back to your workbook page, resuming your work. you don't see him reach up to brush his own fingers along the place where your fingertips had touched.
later that night, with the pair of you sprawled out on your couch, flipping through channels till he settles on the sports channel, showing reruns of the local high school volleyball championships, shouyou turns to you with bright eyes and asks --
"hey! if i win the olympics gold medal for volleyball one day, will you marry me?"
you blink owlishly at him, momentarily distracted by the over-eager announcer as they exclaim over another apparently spectacular spike made by a guy named the little giant.
you shrug, "sure -- if you ever get olympics gold."
he's never been the forgetting kind, not as high school student, a even though you're cities apart now -- he shows up at your culture festival, sweaty and out of breath. you blink at him from behind the takoyaki stand, the smell of slightly burnt dough singeing your nostrils.
"s-shou! what're you --"
"s-sorry i'm l-late! h-had to bi-bike across the mountains --" he pants, propping his palms on his knees, careless of the alarmed looks of the other students still queueing up for their takoyakis, "but i d-didn't wanna miss your takoyaki stand!"
you stare, slack-jawed, wracking your brain for when you'd told him (but of course you had; you tell him everything, don't you?).
someone nudges you and you jerk out of your reverie, hurriedly flipping the takoyakis in your pan, grimacing slightly at the burnt backs. you give the queueing customers an apologetic smile as you scoop them out and drizzle them in sauce.
shouyou waits the entire 45 minutes it takes to get to the front of the line, grinning as he hands over a crumpled bill and asks for two servings. you cock your head, but he reaches over to flick at your sweat-beaded forehead.
"one's for you, duh!"
he's never been the forgetting kind, even though you know he spends all his time practicing, and it's hard, being 3rd years, what with uni apps to worry about and careers to consider.
he shows up at your door at 11:54pm, his hair tousled, his cheeks kissed pink by the cold. his breath frosts the air between you as he shoots you a bright grin and holds out a bouquet of flowers (your eyes linger on the tiny white daisies scattered throughout the bouquet like so many handfuls of lost stars).
"congrats on getting into u tokyo!" he pushes the flowers into your hands, glancing up at the darkened sky just as the first flakes of snow start to fall. you purse your lips, staring down at the flowers, a soft laugh creeping up your throat as you take half a step back to let him in.
"thanks, shou -- but you didn't need to buy me flowers, or anything -- and i know you're training for nationals --"
he shakes his head, stepping into the genkan and patting at the snow in his hair. you giggle, reaching up to dust at his shoulders, wondering vaguely when he'd gotten tall enough for you to have to reach up --
"course i did! not every day your b-best friend gets into the best university in all of japan!" he laughs, but when you join in with a soft giggle, he quiets, looking at you with those dark, steady eyes. you don't ask him why he'd stuttered over the word best friend -- it's what you are (though something inside you clunks)... because that's what you'd always been.
he's never been the forgetting kind, not as an adult, halfway across the world, two oceans keeping the pair of you apart. your phone rings early on a wednesday morning, and you scrub at your eyes, frowning as you swipe up to answer.
"shou? what's wrong? why're you up so late --?"
"happy birthday," he says, his voice still gravely from sleep.
warmth pools in the depths of your belly as you slump back onto your own bed, throwing an arm over your eyes to shield you from the first rays of unforgiving sunlight streaming through your window. you don't try to fight the grin that spreads across your lips as you whisper a soft --
"thanks."
a beat of silence crackles across the line.
shouyou clears his throat; it's a marvel, really, how much a few years a couple thousand miles can change the sound of a person's voice -- roughen it up around the edges, deepen it till it unspools something tucked inside you, or perhaps, it had always been his to undo -- and you'd just been waiting for him to reach out and do it.
"isn't it like... 1am in germany? don't you have a game tomorrow?"
"yep, but... still wanted to be the first one to wish you happy birthday." you can almost hear the light-bending gravity of his smile, all cheek and teeth and half-moon eyes.
you sigh, nodding, before you remember he can't see.
"well, you are -- you always are."
he hums, barely stifling a yawn. you crinkle your nose.
"go to bed, shou. i'll call you before your game tomorrow."
"okay," he says, and you hear the faint sounds of sheets shuffling as he settles back into his blankets. you roll onto your side and stare at the array of small trinkets he's brought back for you over the years -- a volleyball keychain, a tiny crow plush, a christ the redeemer statue from rio, an eiffel tower snow-globe from paris.
"i love you." he says. and there's no hesitation, no buildup, just a simple statement of fact. you sink deeper into your pillow, your cheeks awash with heat.
"yeah... i know," you whisper, pulling your blankets up over your head like you used to when the pair of you were still young enough to build blanket forts in his living room, giggling over stolen cookies and a flashlight clutched between chocolate-sticky fingers.
"good," he says, with a contented sigh.
"sleep, shou," you say. and he hums again, laughing. the sound rocks through you, soft and sweet as a rising tide, coming home to shore.
"yeah, gnight."
you've never been the forgetting kind, not when it's the most important day of his whole life (though he might argue, later on, the pair of you tangled in the sheets of his hotel room, his arm banded over your stomach as he nuzzles his face into your cheek, that the most important day of his life was when he first met you) --
"shou!"
he knows its you even before he turns to see you, the sound of your voice carried above the roaring of the crowd as he wipes at his face with the already soaked bottom of his jersey.
he turns just in time to catch you as you bowl into him, careless of the massive bouquet of flowers clutched in your arms, now squashed between you as he hoists you up with a joyous laugh.
he kisses you in front of the entire crowd, and you let him. of course you do.
later, when an interviewer asks you what it's like to have an olympic gold medalist as your boyfriend, you cut her off to say --
"fiancé."
she blinks, cocking her head, looking bewildered, even as shouyou jerks back, staring down at you, mouth agape.
the interviewer looks between the pair of you before asking, "sorry, did i hear that right? the pair of you are engaged?"
you shoot her a toothy grin, "yep!" before turning to grin up at an utterly shell-shocked shouyou with, "i promised i'd marry you if you ever won an olympic gold, remember?"
at this, shouyou's whole body softens, slackening as he tips into a fit of full-bellied laughter, pulling you into him for another sweet kiss, one that has the interviewer glancing away for just a second.
"yeah... yeah i do... god, i can't believe you remember that!"
you roll your eyes, giving him a playful shove, "i can't believe you forgot."
he shakes his head, "i didn't. i never did. i just..." he trails off, smiling helplessly down at you.
you lean up to give him another little peck on the lips.
"well, no going back on it now, shou."
shouyou nods, turning back to the interviewer with a bright smile, "nope, wasn't ever planning on it."
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