#oodle clone script

[dukeofriven]

There’s a really stupid moment near the end of S01E20 of the Clone Wars where Obi-Wan and Ryloth’s ugliest child are about to be shot by a CiS tank and Obi-Wan can’t escape so he hugs the child close to him and waits to die and it’s a big powerful moment...

Except... Except Obi-Wan has super-speed and the tank commander is fucking monologuing and his hands are nowhere near the controls and Obi-Wan has SECONDS of screen time to do all sorts of Jedi shit and move the child away and the tank is comically slow and this is kind of my problem with Clone Wars in a nutshell. The Jedi are all-powerful until the moment the script requires them to be in peril, in which can they are always instantly in peril regardless of consistency with anything that comes before. For example: a Jedi can make a bunch of jokes while cutting through the eight droids that surrounded him. Then four droids surround him but now he’s ‘captured’ because the script says he is captured is - even though nothing has materially changed. He still has his lightsaber, all his Jedi powers, he doesn’t seem tired in any way, it is the same stupid, stupid battle droids as before - the only difference is now they are inexplicably dangerous and the Jedi has to be cautious. And the show does this again and again and again and it is why it rarely manages to make any scenes with Jedi v. droids have tension. Clones? Clones die all the time. Everything can kill a clone - separate clones from a Jedi and its non-stop peril on that screen. Sometimes clones just fall over dead in the background of scenes - struck down by fatal heart disease. Being a clone is hella deadly. But the Jedi themselves are always fine. Obi-Wan only has this moment with this hideous child and the very slow tank because the script says so. It can’t think of a way to actually alter his circumstances so that he is in peril, so he’s just in peril now. Even though I could dodge that goddamn tank round and I’m lazy and don’t have any powers. The tank is just that slow and the driver is that distracted. There’s oodles of time.

[cinna-wanroll]

What would Satine think of Ventress flirting with her man?

Recorded my response to this question, so I’ll put the original script under a cut  (Beware, it's very confusing but does explain more in-depth why I think this situation would happen the way it does, not what actually happens)

Here is my elaboration of the situation explained in that script:

There aren’t many instances I could see where all of them are together, but at the same time, I think it’s even less likely that Anakin or one of the clones would mention Ob-Wan flirting with another woman in front of Satine. (Not only are they good friends, but does anyone really want to be the bearer of that news? To Satine? Lol)

So the best I could come up with was some type of peace convention that Satine managed to drag the Republic and the CIS to. As the host and the moderator, she’s tasked with observing the going ons of the attendants and assuring everything is running smoothly.

So she stands atop a small round balcony, resting her hands upon the smooth golden rails and looking out at the akward gathering with an eagle’s gaze. Nothing slips past her attention, although her mind is... distracted with thoughts of the dashing knight that stands near the bar, and her heart lingers hopefully as she watches the once uncomfortable divide dissolve into comfortable chatter. Well, once everyone’s had a drink or two.

This, of course, means that everyone is now unashamed of their attraction towards Obi-Wan Kenobi, who gathers a rather large crowd with exciting tales of heroism. 

Bail and Breha Organa, senator Amidala, Anakin Skywalker, and Ahsoka Tano we’re the first audience members- followed by an intrigued grandpa Dooku and a few distinguished CIS senators. Ventress pretends to reluctantly follow, although in truth she is quite excited to get an excuse to mingle with Kenobi.

She wears a lethal and sharp-looking cocktail dress, with intricate hosiery that may or may not store daggers. But it shimmers on her slender form, her awkward movements looking fluid and graceful underneath the fabric. She’s not used to this kind of getup, feeling foolish and flashy, but Dooku insisted she present herself eloquently for once. She wears a jewel-encrusted choker and a deadly scowl, her blush being banished to the farthest regions of light-as-possible pink. The back of her dress is black lace in jagged patterns. 

So there she stands among the crowd, wearing her best sneer and slowly moving closer to Obi-Wan subconsciously. 

Unfortunately for her, this behavior is not lost on Satine, who still remains legal as ever, watching the witch becoming more confident with every swig of champagne she takes. 

Obi-Wan has told her of this Dathomirian before, describing her as ‘a graceful and powerful assassin.’ Tales had reached her ears of an ongoing banter between her Jedi and the lethal woman, which she had been sure to inquire the former about. 

He had only looked down and blushed for a moment, before explaining that the easy flirtation seemed to give him some sort of edge in their duels. But when he had looked back up and grabbed her hand, gazing intently into her eyes, Satine’s doubts were washed away and she didn’t bring it up again. She shouldn’t expect someone such as Obi-Wan to be restricted from flirting now, should she? He was a natural flirt, and a damn good one at that. After all, he’d somehow stolen Satine’s well-guarded heart. 

That didn’t mean she had to be happy about it though. 

So she watches with narrowed eyes as Ventress starts laughing maybe a little too much at something Obi-Wan said, and rests a hand on his shoulder. 

Oh, she definitely isn't happy about that. 

But Obi-Wan only moves slightly, taking a well-measured step away from the other woman, and returns gracefully to the story he was telling before. 

She doesn’t miss how he glances up at her and smiles almost imperceptibly. 

Ever the gentleman. Reassuring her that he wasn’t ever going to be anyone else's but hers. And she appreciates it, but if Ventress’ continued advances were making him uncomfortable as they were beginning to appear to, she isn’t going to let that slide. She isn’t going to let him sacrifice his comfort for politeness or manners, especially when it involves another woman.

But she also isn't going to humiliate either of them, so she tries to catch the witch’s eyes from across the ballroom. This time Ventress places her finger on Kenobi’s chest, trying to mouth off about something or other. 

The former nightsister glances up for a brief moment, to catch an imperiously glowering duchess very pointedly looking at Ventress’ finger. 

The meaning isn't lost upon her, but she’s pretty far from sober- just drunk enough to not care about what her master might think about her blatant��coquetry. Not to mention, Ventress is both possessive and aggressive, even when she isn’t intoxicated, so she doesn’t budge. 

Satine just internally sighs and withdraws from her spot, one hand tracing the railing of the curved staircase. 

Much like Ventress, Satine is also stunning in an elegant gown that looks like melted gold, her hands covered by silken white gloves. Her hair, which has grown out to her shoulders, is wavy and flowing, her blazing blue eyes catching every light in the room. She practically shines. She’s radiant and majestic, demanding the attention of everyone in the room. And she definitely doesn’t mind, especially as she catches Obi-Wan watching every move she makes.

She might even sway her hips just a bit more than is completely necessary. 

Obi-Wan’s breath catches in his throat as he watches her, entranced as her eyes linger on his. 

He tries to hide red that creeps up to his cheeks, lowering his face and pretending to cough. 

Satine approaches their group and all respectfully bow. She smiles softly and greets Padme and Ahsoka before coming up behind Obi-Wan, resting one hand on his shoulder as she stares down Ventress. 

“Hello, Master Kenobi,” she says, her tone almost patronizing. It has just enough edge to it that Ventress gets the message, but just enough kindness that she doesn’t necessarily have to worry about the tabloids talking about it the next day, or have it become a topic for gossip among the senators. 

Obi-Wan swallows and nods to her, pretending he can’t feel her breath on his neck. 

“Duchess.”

Ventress pulls away quickly, taking a slightly wobbly step back. 

Dooku tries his best not to smirk. He knows exactly what this is. It’s a dominance display, and this pacifist has just made his own apprentice back down. But that, of course, is Kenobi’s woman- a woman with a fire in her heart and eyes, and an undying, kind passion. Sassy, witty, strong. He pushes away a sense of pride and instead pulls Ventress back a few steps. 

He doesn’t want her fighting a losing battle, what with the way Kenobi is currently looking at the duchess. 

The count even catches a smug grin on Skywalker’s face as he leans over and whispers something to that pesky little apprentice of his that makes her bat him on the head. 

He tries not to think about how she would be his great great great grandpadawan. 

At some point, the group disbands and Obi-Wan and Satine retreat to one of the secluded garden gazebos and dance to the distant music. 

Satine doesn’t ask, but Obi-Wan eventually says, “You know I would never- right?”

She just smiles against his cheek, nodding, “I know, I just don’t want someone else touching you.”

He chuckles, “in my defense, she wasn’t- erm, kindly touching. At least, not when you walked up.”

                                            *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Maybe one day I’ll make this a full fic, but for now enjoy this summary fic thing. Sorry this took so long to answer :/ I hope you like it though! I loved imagining Ventress’ dress, although I probably didn’t describe it as well as I could have. I'm up pretty late writing this. 

Below I talk about some of the books and comics and my opinion on Obiress, it’s just a little jumbled because I’m much less precise with my language skills when I actually speak (and that’s not very much at all considering the fact that I’m not very precise in my writing either lol). 

Thanks for the ask Oodles!

_____ Because apparently Tumbr can’t make cuts work on asks_______

“I actually was thinking about this the other day, and I had this whole scene in my head.

I uh- I don’t really know why I don’t write this stuff out in fics- probably just because I feel like I’ve already done that, I’ve gone through the effort of imagining it in my head so it’s quote-unquote written, so I feel like I shouldn’t have to. I wish I could just project my thoughts into other people's minds, but unfortunately, that’s not possible as a human being.

So anyway what I was thinking was I was sort of imagining them at this big party because I think that’s the only way that Satine and Obi-Wan and Ventress would ever be in the same space.

I’m sure he’s told Satine in the past about Ventress, but the thing is is that I feel like in the comics that I’ve read Ventress is absolutely in love with Obi-Wan because he sort of helps her realize who she is a little bit better, but he’s not romantically interested in her in any of the comics at all to be honest. Although I think she more looks up to him, and that sort of throws me in the comics. Steers me away from you know, any romantic ideas between them. Yeah, I don’t think that they would ever be in a romantic relationship- in fact I am a big Quinlan and Ventress fan, but there is definitely- Obi-Wan absolutely flirts with her in the Clone Wars, there’s no denying that. I mean when you call somebody ‘my dear’ you’re obviously flirting with them. But Obi-Wan specifically stated that it’s for- you know it’s just— it’s like a game almost, to get into her head and whatever. So again I don’t personally think that it’s cannon at all, and I don’t support that ship, but I think Obi probably has told Satine about Ventress and who she is, as well as that, you know, he does flirt with her.

I don’t think Satine would care all that much until she saw Ventress maybe making a move or something or like any sort of advance towards Obi-Wan. I don’t even think that Obi-Wan would flirt with Ventress in a public area in front of a lot of people, and I definitely don’t think that he would flirt with her in front of Satine, and I feel like he would feel as though that would be disrespectful and I honestly don’t think he’s the kind of guy to do something like that if it’s not really needed at the moment.

So let’s say that they’re all at a big peace party for peace discussions and peace negotiations, and Satine happens to be there. I can see her standing at a distance while there’s sort of been like a crowd that forms around Obi-Wan, and Ventress happens to be in that crowd because it’s Obi-Wan.

Bail might be there, as well as Padme and Anakin and Ahsoka. There’s probably a couple other Republic senators, and then— not Dooku because I can’t see her flirting in front of Dooku especially, but I think, you know, some other separatist senators are there and they’re all sort of mingling. And you know they’re just there because, I don’t know, Obi-Wan just attracts people I guess, and they’re all chatting casually and sipping wine.

Satine’s to the side, looking off at the distance. She’s trying to be a moderator for anything, sort of overseeing the ballroom making sure that nothing’s getting out of hand and everyone’s getting along really well.

And then I picture that Ventress is sort of getting a little bit closer to Obi-Wan, taking steps towards him, or maybe the occasional pushing of a shoulder or something, and Satine sort of catches her eye across the ballroom and gives her the look like ‘you betta keep your hands off my man, don’t do it again if I see you do it again I’m gonna come over there.’ And you know Satine would be great at making that face.

But anyway, so then Ventress does it again, and I don’t think Satine would freak out- I just think that Satine wouldn’t want Obi-Wan to feel uncomfortable, and she doesn’t want anybody touching on her man because that’s not cool. Even if Ventress isn’t a threat, because I don’t think Satine would feel threatened at all, but she still doesn’t want anyone interacting with her mans in that way. So I could see her walking up purposefully, with like a confident stride and sort of making lots of eye contact with Ventress and then coming up from behind Obi-Wan and sliding her arms around his shoulder and all getting close and saying something like ‘hey babe’.

I think Obi-Wan would acknowledge Satine when she would walk up and do something like that, he would probably understand what’s going on at that point and I think Satine might try and drive him away from that area.

But I don’t think it would be a big deal honestly because I don’t think that Satine has any reason to feel threatened by Ventress.”