#possible pmdd
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your body isn't your own
#monkey d luffy#koby one piece#eustass kid#killer one piece#described in alt text#my art#my comic#secret modern au#art is concept ect#here i wanted to see how much i could implied with as little dialogue as possible. worked best in the first comic tbh#luffy is intersex in this AU now! (and a cis man) it's smth i had considered multiple time but never settled on until now because#i wasn't sure what to do with it but with how the plot evolved it makes a lot of sense and fixes some parts.#it's funny! he was meant to have some undiagnosed vague hormone disorder but i decided it's likely pms/pmdd (and maybe smth else#he's got a lot going on) and you kind need an uterus for that sooo.#genderwise he went through various flavors of gnc cis guy to genderqueer to ??? but now i'm thinking cis guy is best.#* VICE admiral btw. this what happen when you write comic past midnight
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i was gonna be productive today but then i sat at my desk and it was cold and my hands hurt and my pc is being slow and all of my motivation died
#(slowly chanting) mental illness mental illness mental illness#why would i do anything when the smallest thing makes me want to crawl under a rock and cry#i think its really funny that the possible solution to this is actually something i can never bring myself to have#(this being pmdd and the solution being hormonal birth control)#(aka the thing that sends my gender dysphoria into a compete spiral.)#(what do you mean you want to give me those hormones. i need the other ones.)#(ahhh ive made myself sad and dysphoric by accident)
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anxiously waiting for the rage that burns hotter than a thousand suns with a side of bottomless despair that's gonna show up at my doorstep in the next few weeks in a cute glittery box wrapped up with a pink bow
#pmdd#premenstrual dysphoric disorder#pms#premenstrual syndrome#undiagnosed adhd#(possibly)#mood swings#mental health#hell is a teenage girl
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Me: so can we like, yeet the ovaries? Health wise? 👀
The nurse practitioner: yes, we can yeet the ovaries
Me, being normal about it:
#personal#gender#dysphoria#needed to ask because pmdd is related to menstruation#but supplemental estrogen doesn't have progesterone in it#and it's the second one that it is rhe bastard#so now not only can i use surgery to avoid unwanted pregnancy i can also permanently remove the risk of pmdd#endometriosis is also possible#which is bad because endometriosis BUT it could explain my random ileus in 2021#and surgery can improve the situation#thankfully my symptoms basically stopped after i started testosterone so like i never really thought about it#until the pending AAAAA that is possibly losing hormones
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my snack recommendation is jícama with tajín but you have to let it sit for a bit so the jícama absorbs it. the flavor is so much better that way
#blog tag#i should get my ass ckecked for pmdd i've been eating an amount of food i didnt know was possible and i also want to dia
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I remembered Plushie Dreadfuls exist and lowkey I want these
#my posts#idk for sure if i have ocd and don’t want to like. co-opt it if it’s not official#but also my reasoning behind that lowkey might also be ocd thought processes so 😶#they’re also possibly making restless leg syndrome and pmdd ones so#i want them. but also don’t want to explain them to my mom#in order it’s ocd asexuality masking and insomnia
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#i need to be murdered in the sweetest and most violent way possible because living feels like a genuine mistake <3#(probably the PMDD/not eaten since 4/etc talking but FUUUUUUCK)
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It's wild how all the craziness in my head stops as soon as I start bleeding. Like I just feel calm and chill and totally fine like I haven't spent the last week spiraling out of control and wanting to ctrl alt delete myself 🥴
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Endo + extremely irregular cycles (that may or may not be PCOS but still waiting on that diagnosis) + PMDD is the fucking worst combo… I get 1 week or so in intense physical pain while bleeding, another week or 2 as a Functional Person, then an unknown number of ❔Mystery Weeks❔dealing with intense anxiety, cravings, breast tenderness, hypersensitivity, & volatile mood swings… and then it all starts over again!
#plus also the ADHD gets way worse during my luteal phase but I always forget that bit until it happens due to ya know the ADHD#anyway#lia’s hormones are out of whack and she’s upset#talking about oneself in the third person isn’t officially a PMDD symptom but should it be? possibly?#menstrual issues fucking suck#plus I can’t do certain hormonal birth control due to strong family history of blood clots#so I’m just wallowing in self-pity and hormonal fury at the moment
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sometimes it’s important to ask yourself: is my entire existence as a human being unsalvageably miserable and awful, or is it just 8-12 days before my period?
#m#pmdd#hysterectomy canNOT come soon enough 💀#have also just been informed that PMDD is possibly a complication of MCAS?#pulling the mask off of one of my physical/emotional issues & discovering yet again that it’s mast cell degranulation underneath 🙃
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god i think i wanna quit my job and do other regrettable things
#meows#there is so much shit in my head i wanna saw all my fingers off#should i bring up possible pmdd to my gp next week or will they not take it seriously because reproductive healthcare is a joke
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realized why i’m 🤏 close to yeeting myself: bout to get my period
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AAAAA I promise I will try to respond to people this coming week! I have been nonstop busy for the past two weeks with this game jam and other life stuff and trying to recover the tiniest shred of spoons in between while also fighting for my life against a relapse in my PMDD 😩 And now I have a spontaneous ear infection too aslkfjl Life really said "fuck that guy in particular"
But next month will be much better! Barely any work to do, lots of down time to recover, and if all goes well I should HOPEFULLY finally be on proper ADHD meds 👀
#also considering possible surgery options for my PMDD but nothing concrete about that yet#jun rambles
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unwittingly fucked up something massive in our database because no one ever explained to me the medieval studies major how a DOS-based system from the 80s does or doesn’t work for this specific thing and nobody is Mad and things can be Fixed but now I feel so so so stupid and useless
#accidentally overwriting literal decades worth of data seems like it shouldn’t be a possibility for a functional system but here we are#and this after a long day of being physically and emotionally drained for all the usual reasons but including an anxiety-inducing medical#appointment AND multiple calls from my finance guy#plus the PMDD plus the grief#wheeeeee we love it here#rare pic of me in the wild
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How do you say sorry for being pessimistic and depressing because your internal reproductive organs turn evil every so often without making things weird?
#sorry about earlier#pmdd does some fuck shit to your mental health#as if having violently painful periods wasn’t enough#also ran out of my psych meds a couple of days ago and haven’t been able to get a refill yet so that can’t possibly help
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me writing in my stupid journal i stupidly bought for my stupid mental health
#i have been sososo angry all day today and idk Why#well. ok. i know it’s pms/pmdd.#but idk what else could possibly have triggered it i’m never like this unless i don’t get any sleep#and tbh even then
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