#probably constantly editing this to add things bc it doesn't feel right to be this short

[elumarin]

This is going to be a very long essay post about my trip to Alton Towers on the 27th and 28th of May, you have been warned. <3

(Roller coasters are my autistic passion™)

(This post contains my reviews of the rides at Alton Towers, getting stuck on Oblivion, and the story of the most amazing Smile Assistant ever.)

So!

Me and my girlfriend flew to England on the 26th of May, and stayed there until the last day of May which coincidentally is The Smiler's birthday! Sadly I didn't get to celebrate his birthday at Towers, but I still wish him a very happy (late) 12th birthday. I love him.

We stayed at a lovely Airbnb complete with a resident cat and dog (Chris and Angus my beloveds) which was around 40mins from Alton Towers by car. We got there via an Uber, and it was actually surprisingly affordable.

Anyway, on the 27th, we arrived at Alton Towers at around 9:00 before the gates opened. I had planned an actual route for me and my girlfriend to experience all rides in the most optimal order, but since it was a rainy day, we had to improvise A LOT.

First we ran (I ran, my poor gf tried her best to keep up while I dragged her along with me) to The Wickerman, which is my gf's favourite ride at the park. We waited for an hour for the ride to open, and although the opening got delayed a little, it was such a strong start to the day.

My review of The Wickerman:

About the ride: A wooden coaster manufactured by Great Coasters International (GCI) and opened on March 20th, 2018. With a drop of 22m and speed of 70km/h, it's the most intense woodie I've been on. (I've only been on two, though...)

Theming: AMAZING. The opening movie before the station is cinematic, and the concept of getting sacrificed to the Wickerman is such a blast. I love rides that have more sinister and cult-like themes, and The Wickerman delivers in that regard. The giant Wickerman structure is the most striking part of the theming, and I love him so much. Would definitely get sacrificed again.

Ride experience: Way more intense than I anticipated. The first few drops feel so good in the pit of your stomach, and the ride lasts way longer than you'd think. I was really happy that I could see some labels on the planks above in the tunnel before the station, I love the technical side of coasters so much. Anyway, cool ride, super smooth, comfy, and a lot of airtime during drops!

Overall rating: 9/10, between A and S if I'd put it on a tierlist. Such a fun ride!

Gf's stance: Her favourite ride in the park, and the last ride she did before we had to leave at the end of the second day. She calls it "puuvuoristorata (wooden coaster back in Linnanmäki, Finland) but amped up to the max" which is pretty fitting! She took the photo below and sent it to her friends with the caption, "is this a roller coaster or a cult?" lmaooo

After riding The Wickerman, it started to rain. I really, really wanted my first ride on The Smiler to be in good weather, so we deviated from my plan and headed straight for the X-Sector so I could ride The Smiler before it started to pour.

And boy.

The Smiler.

While roller coasters are one of my special interests, The Smiler is truly something special; it's (without a doubt) the most INTENSE hyperfixation I've ever had in my life, and it has lasted for almost an entire year at this point. I was literally on the verge of tears every single time I even saw a glimpse of its track, I'm not even kidding. It's just a roller coaster, I know, but... I love him so much. I have no idea why or how, but that roller coaster means the absolute world to me.

The queue times for that day were relatively short due to bad weather, and as a single rider, I got on pretty quickly. If I remember correctly, my first ride was in row 3, most left-hand side. It was pretty rough, I admit, and I didn't know when to brace myself during the ride yet. But nonetheless, I wouldn't change anything about that experience. It was so otherworldly, and it still doesn't feel real.

Did I actually ride The Smiler? Did I actually take pictures and videos in front of it?

Yes. Yes, I did.

My girlfriend waited in the shop and when I got off the ride, I was glowing. My gf's face was hilarious because once she saw all the merch in the store, she knew I'd be in grave danger. And yes, she was correct. I did spend 180€ on The Smiler merch on the second day... To name a few, I got a wallet, blanket, duvet set, shirt, and a teddy whom I guard with my life.

Before the actual review, I want to tell the story of the most based Smile Assistant.

The first day I rode The Smiler three times, and one of the Assistants recognized me every time I got on (I had a Smiler hoodie, bag, and a yellow skirt so a full-on Smiler outfit on) and I was so baffled every time. The second or third time I went on, he was working at the cloakroom and said, "Hello again" as he took my bag and I was just. So surprised that he recognized me.

On the second day, I went on The Smiler five more times, so eight times in total. The same Smile Assistant was working at either the cloakroom or entrance, and he recognized me again. Every. Single. Time. Without exception.

My girlfriend took pictures of me in front of my beloved (The Smiler) near the entrance. The Smile Assistant who kept recognizing me was working at the entrance at the time, and when he saw us taking pictures, he photobombed my picture and I got to take some with him! I could tell he was passionate about The Smiler and the park's visitors, and he also took pictures of me and my gf together in front of The Smiler.

After that my gf left (she doesn't like rides that go upside-down) and I went on The Smiler. The same Smile Assistant at the entrance stopped me and looked at me dead in the eyes, "Again???" which got a laugh out of me. I just nodded happily and told him that the ride was my favourite, and he was so shocked when I said that I had been on The Smiler six or seven times at that point.

He also asked what language my gf and I were speaking earlier. When I told him we're from Finland and it was our first time at Alton Towers, he was able to name Helsinki (the capital of Finland)! We love an educated king. It was a shame I couldn't talk with him for longer as a queue was forming behind me, and I did want to get on The Smiler as many times as possible.

Then, after an hour or two of riding other rides we couldn't ride the day before, I wanted to go back, ride The Smiler more, and finally buy some merch.

When I took my Alton bag FULL of Smiler merch to The Smiler's cloakroom again, of course the Smile Assistant from earlier was working there, and just shook his head when he saw me. I told him that I bought a lot of merch (the bag was filled to the brim) and he glanced inside, looked at me, deadpan, and started laughing as he put the bag on one of the racks. He looked genuinely impressed and I'll remember his face forever. Lmao.

He kept recognizing me over and over again, and when I went on for the last time just before 18:00, the ride broke down. I was full-on panicking and worried that I wasn't getting to ride one last time, but luckily the ride reopened eventually ten minutes before six o'clock! The same Assistant took my bag, looked at me with a lopsided grin, and that was probably the moment he decided I was THE Smiler fangirl.

My last ride on The Smiler dispatched at 17:58, and I could feel just how lucky I was. I even got front row for my final ride!

After my final ride, I lingered near the entrance just watching the last trains on The Smiler and burned every single detail of him into my mind. It didn't take long for the Assistant to come out to collect trash near the entrance, and he soon gestured me to come over to him when he saw me there.

He gave me one of The Smiler's cloakroom bracelets.

Number 7 for Secret Weapon 7, which was The Smiler's codename before the name was officially revealed to the public. I was so ready to burst into tears right then and there, but there was more! He mentioned that he had seen me and my girlfriend on The Wickerman earlier that day, and he gave me The Wickerman's cloakroom bracelet with the number 8 on it (for Secret Weapon 8) to give to my gf.

I still tear up when I think about that moment and that Smile Assistant. He recognized that I was a tourist, it was my first time in England, and a HUGE Smiler nerd, and went on his way to give me something OF THE SMILER. Technically not of it, but still, a cloakroom is part of the ride.

I was so in awe and he looked so happy to see my reaction – I probably looked like I had just been handed the entire world. And truly, I was handed the world. The Smiler means SO MUCH to me you have no idea, I felt so, SO validated.

I named my Smiler teddy bear after that Assistant. Luckily I was able to see his name tag on one of the pictures, and now my teddy is named after one of my favourite people in the world. I know he was just doing his job, but as an autistic girl with an INTENSE hyperfixation on The Smiler, I have never felt so seen in my entire life. Thank you, Smile Assistant. 💛

And now for the actual review!

My review of The Smiler:

About the ride: The first Gerstlauer Infinity Coaster, and the only Infinity Coaster to feature OTSR. Opened on May 31st, 2013, The Smiler broke the world record for the first coaster to feature a whopping 14 inversions. It still holds the record to this day. 85km/h, height of 30m, track length of 1170m, everything about him is perfect. I miss him so bad.

Theming: RAAHHHDJKSNDKS my favourite part of The Smiler. The fact he's a science experiment meant to brainwash subjects into Smiling Advocates is just *chef's kiss* ahhh. The colour scheme, THE MUSIC, The Marmaliser, the manic toothy grin of the logo's little guy... He's so perfect.

Ride experience: Just like I expected, The Smiler is now my favourite roller coaster EVER. It's perfect. A little rough to the point of a headache, but the overall experience is SO GOOD. My favourite part of any coaster is inversions, and The Smiler having FOURTEEN makes it a triple S in my tierlist.

When I rode it enough times and learned when to brace myself and how to position myself, it was so perfect. So, so perfect. The vertical lift hill is the comfiest lift hill ever. I did get a lot of bruises from the ride, but I wear them like badges of honour. <3

Overall rating: 100/10 and beyond. First few rides were a little uncomfortable, but after that, pure perfection. He has a tier of his own on my tierlist.

Gf's stance: Would NEVER come on The Smiler. Admires and enjoys the ride from the sidelines, and supports me and my passion for him. She even bought a Smiler shirt so we can match!

TL;DR: The Smiler has been my biggest hyperfixation EVER, and now that I've actually ridden it, my life feels complete. No kidding.

The picture I took below makes it look like he has some mad eyebrows. I love him.

And now for the rest of the rides! None of the others blew my mind or anything, so they'll be shorter than The Wickerman or The Smiler's.

My review of Oblivion:

About the ride: B&M dive coaster, the first in the world, opened on March 14th, 1998. Height 19.8m, drop 55m, angle 87.5°, speed of 109km/h.

Everything else: B&M babyy! Such a fun coaster. The drop is the ride, and it's so fun. The brakes at the end give so much air time it's unbelievable. We also got stuck on it the first time we were on! After the ride, we couldn't get off at the station because the automatic system wasn't working correctly. The operators had to manually open the restraints to let us out, and it was actually pretty fun!

We were stuck there for about 15 minutes, and I remember infodumbing to my gf about the ways they could open the restraints and what was wrong with the automatic system. And when I saw the wench they use to manually open the restraints, I'm pretty sure I screamed because I was so excited. All the ride operators had evacuation gear on; getting evacuated would've been so much fun, too. There also were engineers there at the station, and I really was in my element watching them work. I'm a nerd. 7/10.

My review of Thirteen:

About the ride: A dark ride manufactured by Intamin, it features a vertical track drop of 5 metres. Height of 20m, speed of 67km/h, and pretty rare booster wheel lift hills. Opened on March 20th, 2010.

Everything else: Seeing a booster wheel lift hill was pretty exciting! The first few drops were amazing, and the track drop felt new and fresh, but overall, it was pretty meh. The forest around the queue pen and theming was pretty cool, but I don't have much to say about this ride. 6/10.

My review of Rita:

About the ride: Another Intamin and a hydraulic launch! Height 21m, speed 98km/h. Opened on April 1st, 2005, and was originally known as Rita: Queen of Speed.

Everything else: HYDRAULIC LAUNCH. I LOVE THEM. The punch!! The forces!! The feeling!!! Ahhh. The rest of the ride is pretty boring, but the hydraulic launch alone puts Rita in A tier. 8/10.

My review of Nemesis Reborn:

About the ride: B&M inverted opened back in 1994 and retracked on March 16th, 2024, it's 31 years old! It's designed to fit partially into the ground to keep it below the treeline, and the surroundings make the famous B&M roar so loud!

Everything else: The first B&M I've ever ridden! I rode this after The Smiler, and I kinda wish I hadn't, because Nemesis was so boring compared to my man. I still had a fun time, I love inverted coasters, and the roar was music to my ears. Solid A nonetheless! And, Nemesis is adorable. I want a plushie of her. 8.5/10.

My review of Galactica:

About the ride: Another B&M! A flying coaster opened on March 16th, 2002. Height 20m, speed 75km/h.

Everything else: My first flying coaster!! ...I didn't like it too much. The sensation was new and pretty thrilling, but overall, it was really underwhelming and I didn't like looking at other people's shoes. The forces weren't there, and I was generally kind of bored. Still, it was a flying B&M, and I'm glad I rode it! 5/10.

My review of Toxicator:

About the ride: HUSS suspended top spin, a flat ride opened on March 15th, 2025.

Everything else: Meh. Just meh. The fast spins were fun, but I was just so bored. The theming was amazing though, and I wish there was more about the procedure. I saw a few posters about the symptoms and results, and it was such an interesting read. Still, a pretty boring ride. 4.8/10.

My review of Spinball Whizzer:

About the ride: Spinning coaster by Maurer Rides, opened on March 27th, 2004. Height 17m, speed 60km/h.

Everything else: I do not like spinning coasters or wild mice. It was pretty uncomfortable, and the restraints hurt my pelvis a little. A few drops felt amazing but the spinning is just not my thing. I don't get dizzy or sick, I just don't like it. It was pretty funny when I spotted the old Eggman sticker on one of the pillars and screamed "It's Eggman!!" to my gf who I also got into Sonic a few months before our trip. 4.3/10.

That was all the rides I experienced during my two days at Alton Towers!

I would've wanted to ride The Curse at Alton Manor and Runaway Mine Train, but we didn't have time and my priority was getting everything out of The Smiler.

The first day's rain nearly overwhelmed me because of my sensory issues, but I still enjoyed the day! The Smiler has my whole heart, and going up the vertical lift hill in heavy rain was an experience. It felt like I was getting lovingly smacked in the face lol.

Alton Towers is such a huge place that we got lost a few times, and I feel bad for my girlfriend's legs. And, to be honest, I feel bad for my girlfriend in general because she had to watch me be absolutely feral for The Smiler and bawl like a baby when we had to leave after the second day.

I have cried every single day at least once since we left. I miss The Smiler so much. I may have a problem... And I may be a little dramatic, but roller coasters and The Smiler are my autistic passions, after all.

Anyway!

I wanna go back. Take me back to Alton Towers. I want to see my man again. And chat more with the Smile Assistant. Those two days were the BEST days of my entire life, no doubt. I'm so thankful for my girlfriend for taking me there. <3

(The Smiler my most beloved rahhhhhh)

[ppbpencilcrayon]

Amnesty Sylvain Theory(?)

Ok so I was relistening to some amnesty episodes, (mostly 28 and 32 because I love making myself cry apparently) and I had some thoughts. I dont event know if the information I'm basing this theory off of is even 100% accurate but I'm gonna try to make this as understandable as possible because it's just gonna be me rambling for a couple paragraphs. I'm on mobile rn so I don't think I can put a keep reading thing so sorry, this is gonna get long.

Oh yeah and spoilers for up to episode 32

So here's what we know so far and I apologize if I'm getting some of these wrong.

Sylvain, the entity, is missing

Aubrey can hear the thoughts and memories of Sylvain's Interpreter who I cant remember the name of at the moment

Sylvain is missing because a while back some humans went to Sylvain and broke off pieces of the crystal

Aubrey can interact with the crystal, but instead of giving her energy like it does to other Sylvans, (is that the term? Or is it silphs? I cant remember) she gives energy to the crystal

The Flamebright Pendant has been passed down throughout Aubrey's family and is made of the Sylvain Crystal

Aubrey thinks her powers were what caused the fire the night Ned and Boyd robbed her house

Aubrey met Magic when she was trying to revive Deputy Dewey

Dani told Aubrey that recently she realized that she felt at home when she was with Aubrey

Naturally when given this information, some people have come to the conclusion "oh, Aubrey might be Sylvain" but I don't think that's the case. I'm gonna try and go over my thoughts on that and try to be coherent because my thoughts are very scattered as I type this. One big thing that I keep going back and forth on is how Dani told Aubrey that she felt like home. And she even specifies, not sentimentally, literally. There's probably a good couple of ways you could interpret that, but the way I've seen people interpret it as is "Subconsciously, you remind me of Sylvain". But that also doesn't make sense. When Dani is expressing her worries about which side of the gate to land on, she mentions that part of the reason she was having such a hard time with that decision was that Sylvain no longer felt like home.

But here's where my little theory(?) (and I put a question mark with that bc honestly I'm still not sure about it) comes in. What if Sylvain is in the Flamebright Pendant?

Ok, yes, I know, it's a bit of a reach bc for most of amnesty the flamebright pendant has been locked in the back room of the cryptonomica, but hear me out. (I would like to emphasize, there's a whole bunch of connections I'm just kind of bullshitting with no data to draw from so you might want to take this with a grain of salt)

My main reasoning is that if memory serves, Sylvain went missing the day the crystal got broken, so who's to say that she(?) didn't get trapped in one of the shards? And that shard hadn't just been providing the Little Family some luck, but also a little bit of magic that got passed whenever a family member passed the pendant down to their descendant? That could be why Aubrey's powers manifested that night specifically, not just the danger, but because her mother gave her the pendant. She wasnt wearing it, but maybe all it took was Mrs. Little vocalizing that, yes Aubrey was the next owner of the pendant. Then even after Ned took the pendant, that magic was still fairly linked to Aubrey, just not as strong.

The real question is, why would Aubrey's magic suddenly reactivate again at some random magic show? Mama. Mama, who is constantly working with the former inhabitants of Silvain. Mama, who has probably been to Sylvain multiple times. Whatever piece of sylvain is connected to Aubrey might be able to sense that? So her magic sparks again and she's brought back to Amnesty Lodge where there's even more Sylvain energy because not only is the gate right there, but Aubrey, without even realizing it, is closer to the pendant than she has been in years. So now that the connection between Aubrey and Sylvain is stronger than, probably ever, she's now starting to get more access, more control, over her powers.

Why does Aubrey have access to Alexandra's(?) memories? Maybe because they both have fairly strong connections to Sylvain, they have some amount of connection with eachother by association? (Another interpretation could also be Alexandra is Sylvain and Aubrey is the new interpreter?)

With the crystal stuff, I feel like maybe Aubrey is drawing her powers directly from Sylvain? And while the crystal is the battery, Sylvain is the energy source. The crystal only has so much energy to give out before it's drained, but Sylvain was its constant source. So that could explain why instead of giving energy, the crystal takes from Aubrey. (Of course this could be the crystal's reaction to all humans, we just dont know since Aubrey is the only one we've seen touch the crystal so far).

And finally, when Dani tells Aubrey she literally feels like home. I know what I already said but there's something else I didn't mention. The thing that Silvain provides that all of its inhabitants require to stay sane. Everywhere Dani has been, everywhere she has called home, as had that one specific similarity. It had to, or else all of the sylphs stuck on earth would have long gone feral. Whatever energy is given by the crystal and the springs by Amnesty Lodge. Dani also mentioned it was a recent thing. Aubrey getting her pendant back was also a relatively recent thing.

(Also I feel like they're gonna find some way to bring Sylvain back bc it would make sense that the big loose end of "where the hell did Sylvain go" is something that got tied up at the end and this seems like a good way to do it)

Congrats you've finally made it to the end of this absurdly long post. Next time I go on desktop I'll edit this and add that keep reading option.

TLDR: