#sam's vampire dr

[girlberrie]

ONLY   A   VAMPIRE   CAN   LOVE   YOU   FOREVER   .   .   .

 𓏲𝄢    vampire reality introduction. blood and horror awaits!!!!!!!!

People die all the time.

They die in the hunt, they die from fever. In rare cases, they die because their body is old.

People don’t come back from the dead. And yet─

In Ida’s scarlet heart, which is not meant to beat anymore, she knew home to be the tent she shared with her mother father and three brothers. She knew home to be her and her witch mother finding herbs for the healing tent. She knew home to be the warm and strong arms of her father as he readjusted her archery form once more. She knew home to be her irritating her three brothers again just to have their attention and their annoyed yet loving looks. She knew home to be her girl, her love, as she bounds over and jumps in Ida’s arms after Ida comes back from a hunt. In her somehow-beating heart, she knows that she has to leave home sooner or later.

Because witches live long but not forever. Vampires, however, do.

But in her grieving of a mortal life, Ida chooses to give herself time. She grows tense when she thinks of leaving. She grows quiet when she considers the loneliness. She avoids thinking about the blood of others that now lay in her veins─moving through them and bringing a flush to her face as if its hers, as if her own blood that her scarlet heart had pumped since she was a mere baby wasn’t drained from her years ago. And so she grieves and knows that she has infinite time─a lifetime that will not end unless the world ends, a future forever uncertain─and she does not think about the fact that her home will forever be her only grave.

And its such a strange thing, being the dead walking. Your bones to never creak, your heart feels like it never beats─as still as air is at the eye of a hurricane─even though it must, and your veins carry the blood of dead creatures and is always hungry for more blood that almost shimmers and sings in its promise of pleasure.

And there is a silence that howls beneath your ribs─the absence of life clear despite the thumping of your heart─like a candle suddenly snuffed out, the smoke still there floating, the wax hardened in place─something sharp and almost-divine and withered lingers at the place where life bloomed like flowers in the spring sun, and you get tired of the silence. You wish to hear your insides speak and make sound but it stubbornly keeps quiet. And it is a punishment in return for the eternal dark gift; to hear nothing but the outside, to have no peace in the sounds of yourself and your body. Your heart beats yet you could never hear it yourself, your lungs expand and you breathe and yet it is as quiet as a predator stalking its prey in the woods─it is like pretending to be human has been made impossible. Because the dark gift doesn’t like to be denied─it is erratic and cruel and hungry─a thudding hunger that sets fire to your veins and extends your fangs… it is a strange thing laced with poison for those unaccepting and the only thing that aches is remembrance of a mortal life.

And you are untethered in a way that makes the word home sound strange. The lack of the deadline is felt. You feel like a mortal turned unrightfully divine─

And the sun has turned its back on you.

And Ida used to chase the sun. They would call her the sunchaser and laugh at her when she would whine about the red spots burnt onto her exposed skin. Now she is a creature of the night, never to feel comfort under the rays of the sun, never to feel its kiss on her skin, never to take in its beautiful rise and its colors. And now the sunchaser has lived centuries and she could never find a beauty, a celestial body rightful to take its place in her scarlet heart… only her girl, her lover, her eternal love’s shining hair does she equate to the beams of the sun─and sometimes she doesn’t even know because she has started to forget how the sun would turn her blind for seconds just because she wished to look at it directly.

Ida knows she left home, her first grave in the tents, with her witch mother and archer father and irritated three brothers because she left the sun with them too.

Ida has been dead for centuries and now she finds herself in Rome, pretending to be the human girl she once was─bright and occasionally irritating and spontaneous. She finds herself in Rome and looking for that eternally familiar face of her lover, who had left her at that home in the tent with her mother and father and three brothers because she had been impatient with Ida, because she had accepted the untethered nature of a vampire much easier than Ida had.

Come to me, her lover had crooned into her mind, and Ida obeyed with ease─her mother and father and three brothers long dead and her untethered as she should’ve been three centuries ago. And now she finds herself in Rome, looking for her lover, trying to be the carefree girl she once was─even though she is now a phantom and myth that walks under the beams of the moon, even though she can not be a sunchaser any longer, even though she is no longer naive and fragile─but she is a killer in nature and her body is quiet in its attempt to be the apex predator and she has been dead for centuries.

And her lover, who took to being a creature of the night much better than Ida, who never truly changed─an adventurer and impatient as always─walks among the people of Rome like she is nothing different, waiting to be noticed and be seen. Luckily for her, Ida would know her by the way the moon makes her skin shine iridescently, by the way she holds her arms when she walks, by her scent─because their love has never been ordinary. It has always been a wild beat of their hearts and now it is their only thread still shimmering with life─the only thing about them not blood-stained and fierce. Their former home is a grave and their love is the remaining ashes, and yet they’ve found it to be gentle and bright, and it bloomed in their distance that spanned two centuries… it has never been clearer that they are each other’s companion.

And that is enough for Ida to find her in the thousand faces walking the marble streets of Rome at the dead of night. And after that, with their eternal companionship renewed as two untethered vampires who have eyes for only the other, starts the rest of their life.

      i actually don't know whatever tf happened here. i struggled so hard with this one. i may come back a rewrite it one day. and i PROMISE its not as depressing as i made it sound here……………i can only write poetically if there is angst………….i promise i don't hate myself…………….yeah. but basically i'm old asf and i have my beautiful lovely amazing gf as my immortal witch companion. also i'm a witch i didn't know how to incorperate that here so i just didn't. yay. that's all. bye hope you enjoyed....... ALSO ALSO ALSOOOOOO: big ib @kerryshifts (her previous marauders dr intro) bc is amazing. ok that's actually it now

[userarmand]

sam is an assad as the doctor truther 👀 [x]

[queenoftheimps]

From the TVLine article on the renewal:

....guys I know we've been joking about the immortal badass Sam Beckett all week but are they actually fucking confirming this Irish playwright sonuvabitch is gonna survive this weekend

[humanperryfic]

KINGS OF HEARTS

(A VamPerryshmirtz AU Halloween doodle that went a little overboard)

(look I know it's a few days after Halloween but it's still Halloweekend so it counts)

AU thoughts:

so clearly they're both vampires in this AU. but they are Very Different vampires.

perry was turned in his mid-thirties in the late 1700's

he works for the VOWCA, the Vampires Organization Without A Cool Acronym, as one of their top agents

VOWCA generally works to (1) fight vampire hunters (2) keep vampires from being known too publicly and (3) kill the covens of evil vampires that threaten (2)

it's kinda like a good-guy coven of badass vampires

they've even got like their own livestock farm so their agents can avoid killing normals and not starve to death

side note livestock blood tastes horrible to vampires but morals yk

the rest of the flynn-fletchers are Also vampires

except they were turned in the late 70's and VOWCA rules say you gotta be a vampire for 50 years before you can join (something about being used to being a vampire)

so perry's protecting them from a distance, keeping them alive until he can bring them in

and of course he gets assigned to fight dr. doofenshmirtz.

who is a pathetic wet cat of a vampire. turned at about 45 between world wars, immigrated to the US to attempt to take over some small midwest american town and form his own coven but using inators instead of the vampire powers he's still kind of uncomfortable using

this clearly has not worked.

at all.

he married charlene in the late 60's, who had no idea he was a vampire until he got SUPER hungry, accidentally drained her too much, and turned her to keep her alive

which she divorced him for (fair tbh)

oh and she was pregnant at the time so Vanessa is like...mostly vampire but still a little human? like, extreme garlic allergy, faint but visible in mirrors, sun sensitive but won't burn, extended lifespan but not immortal, can drink blood but also gets some energy from human food

she looks/acts 16 but is actually about 48 real years old (so ages at about 1/3 the speed)

anyway charlene is part of one of the really dangerous vampire covens.

and heinz is still just trying to take over the tri-state area using stupid inventions.

he's not like. vampire type evil. he's very canon-type evil.

perry sees him for the first time and is like. VOWCA sent me to fight this guy?

he sticks around to see if he gets dangerous but after a while he realizes that as long as perry is there to thwart his inventions, dr doofenshmirtz just isn't that evil

he looks scary, sure, but that's at least partially just him being kinda malnourished and terrible at taking care of himself

also fighting him is kind of a break from being dangerous and shooting other vampires with silver bullets

and despite everything. they get close.

the antagonism grows into fondness.

it's the same story as always, because it's still them

heinz falls first, perry falls harder

and eventually perry is the one to formally ask heinz out (there's some sort of formal ritual thing since they're both vampires- perry's a lot older of a vampire so he knows these things, which freaks heinz out a little bc he's trying to impress perry)

during their first date perry gets word that the flynn-fletchers are in trouble and the two of them run to go save them

heinz is the one that inators the evil vampires away and perry is like "if i were a less respectable vampire i would literally marry you right now"

too bad vampire courtship is a formal Thing

and because the flynn-fletchers were able to defend themselves pretty well they're allowed to join VOWCA early

phineas and ferb take to it disturbingly easily, candace is less easily persuaded since she still wants to be a Normal Teen, but once she realizes Vanessa is also basically a vampire she's like "alright fine"

linda and lawrence learn some self defense and basically just keep running the antique store

and eventually heinz winds up going "good" and joining VOWCA. which is basically a reverse proposal in vampire terms.

it's a damn good thing perry was planning on marrying him anyway <3

[big-tiddy-goth-ghoulfriend]

has anyone made an AMV of Sam Reid's Lestat set to "2econd 2ight 2eer" by Will Wood yet or do I have to do all the fucking work around here (I do not in fact make AMVs and I said that for comedic effect; if you like IWTV and make AMVs I highly recommend checking out that song.)

[unkenpfuhl]

I am pretty sure that Raglan James will return, because they teased body switching but I am not really that exicted about the character. The vampire Sam would be a cool Cameo for Rockstar Lestat, since Sam is a DJ now. I personally really like Real Rashid and hope he comes back. This show can have one well-adjusted human and it should be Real Rashid. I am also really intrigued by Dr. Bhansali. I want to know more about the vampire doctor.

[cyclopsarts]

I found an oc challenge and decided to join in tho I don’t know who made the original since I’ve seen a lot of iterations of this (also yes I changed hardest to draw oc with funnest because all of my main ocs aren’t really hard for me to draw)

[peraltiagokid]

Me with Chenford scenes, I started watching after seeing an edit of the April fools episode, let's say I waited a loooong time to see that

It also happened with any other shows I watched

[girlberrie]

me and her.!/!,!,!.?.!.!?!?!!,&$,&,

[fandom]

TV Fictional Characters

The Pines & Friends supremacy continues.

Bill Cipher | Gravity Falls

Alastor | Hazbin Hotel

Anthony J. Crowley | Good Omens

Aziraphale | Good Omens

Stanley Pines | Gravity Falls

Stanford Pines | Gravity Falls

Lucifer Morningstar | Hazbin Hotel

Evan Buckley | 9-1-1

Mabel Pines | Gravity Falls

Dipper Pines | Gravity Falls

Dean Winchester | Supernatural

Edmundo Diaz | 9-1-1

Charlie Morningstar | Hazbin Hotel

Fiddleford McGucket | Gravity Falls

Lestat de Lioncourt | Interview with the Vampire

Louis de Pointe du Lac | Interview with the Vampire

Castiel | Supernatural

Eddie Munson | Stranger Things

Armand | Interview with the Vampire

Steve Harrington | Stranger Things

Daniel Molloy | Interview with the Vampire

Will Graham | Hannibal

Colin Bridgerton | Bridgerton

Penelope Featherington | Bridgerton

Tommy Kinard | 9-1-1

Hannibal Lecter | Hannibal

Zuko | Avatar: The Last Airbender

Rhaenyra Targaryen | House of the Dragon

Edwin Payne | Dead Boy Detectives

Leonardo | Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Alicent Hightower | House of the Dragon

Danny Fenton | Danny Phantom

Charles Rowland | Dead Boy Detectives

Donatello | Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Aemond Targaryen | House of the Dragon

Vox | Hazbin Hotel

Husk | Hazbin Hotel

Sam Winchester | Supernatural

Spock | Star Trek

Twilight Sparkle | My Little Pony

Rafe Cameron | Outer Banks

Katara | Avatar: The Last Airbender

Jax | The Digital Amazing Circus

The Fifteenth Doctor | Doctor Who

Aegon II Targaryen | House of the Dragon

Spencer Reid | Criminal Minds

Sokka | Avatar: The Last Airbender

Aang | Avatar: The Last Airbender

Fluttershy | My Little Pony

Michelangelo | Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The Tenth Doctor | Doctor Who

Adam | Hazbin Hotel

Dr. Gregory House | House MD

James Wilson | House MD

Donna Noble | Doctor Who

Pinkie Pie | My Little Pony

The Fourteenth Doctor | Doctor Who

Raphael | Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Mike Wheeler | Stranger Things

Rainbow Dash | My Little Pony

Will Byers | Stranger Things

Stede Bonnet | Our Flag Means Death

Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir | Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

Edward Teach | Our Flag Means Death

Megatron | Transformers

Joel Miller | The Last of Us

Rarity | My Little Pony

Marienette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug | Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

Arthur Pendragon | Merlin

Agatha Harkness | the Marvel universe

Ellie Williams | The Last of Us

James T. Kirk | Star Trek

Optimus Prime | Transformers

Cooper Howard | Fallout

Sherlock Holmes | Sherlock

Ruby Sunday | Doctor Who

Daemon Targaryen | House of the Dragon

Luz Noceda | The Owl House

Helaena Targaryen | House of the Dragon

Bobby Nash | 9-1-1

Anthony Bridgerton | Bridgerton

Claudia | Interview with the Vampire

Rose Tyler | Doctor Who

Loki Laufeyson | the Marvel universe

Sun Wukong | Lego Monkie Kid

Niko Sasaki | Dead Boy Detectives

Sally Jackson | the Percy Jackson universe

Jacaerys Velaryon | House of the Dragon

Rio Vidal | the Marvel universe

Nightcrawler | the Marvel universe

Simon Petrikov | Adventure Time

Rosie | Hazbin Hotel

Izzy Hands | Our Flag Means Death

Howard "Chimney" Han | 9-1-1

Ahsoka Tano | the Star Wars universe

Omega | the Star Wars universe

Mobius M. Mobius | the Marvel universe

Wallace Wells | the Scott Pilgrim franchise

Hunter | the Star Wars universe

Gambit | the Marvel universe

This is a returning list! Yay!

There are some great Gravity Falls Communities over here, in case you're interested 👀

[dessarchive]

DR IDEAS. A COLLECTION.

the list below is based off of my current list of drs and i thought i’d share to give others more ideas! i will be updating this often because i often have ideas for drs but i can’t say how often that will be. happy shifting!

KPOP (join an established k-pop group, create your own, redesign the lore of your faves, make the group or just yourself the opposite gender, make joint groups, switch members, script members out, switch the generation of the group, whatever your heart desires)

aespa, billlie, bts, enhypen, fromis_9, girls generation, girlnextdoor (sister group of boynextdoor), illit, ive, le sserafim, loona, monster high (based off of monster high), newjeans, powerpuff girls (based off of the powerpuff girls), p1harmony, rescene, secret, stray kids, tripleS, twice, winx (based off of winx club)

FAME (act in a movie, television series, or film, sing on stage or be a backup singer, dance on stage with your faves or be their choreographer, become the it person of a certain decade, become a world renowned artist, become the next nba player, interview your faves, create the next big book that will live on for generations, play your favorite video games as a living)

actress, artist, author, band, basketball player, ballerina, celebrity interviewer, ceo (favorite brand, an app, music), choreographer, director, drag queen, fashion designer, figure skater, gaming youtuber, influencer, katseye, lifestyle youtuber, mukbang youtuber, nepo baby, olympic medalist, royalty, singer, soccer, supermodel, teen fame, travel vlogger, victorious secret angel

TV SERIES/MOVIES (add yourself into the plot, remove the plot and live a chill life, fight off evil, have the perfect love story, be best friends with barbie, be barbie and have her many many careers, have a talking pet…. be a talking pet…, be a mermaid, vampire, be friends with or be the sidekick of superman, batman, iron man, etc)

13 going on 30, the 100, accidentally in love, a.n.t. farm, alvin and the chipmunks, the amazing world of gumball, the aristocats, a series of unfortunate events, austin & ally, avatar, the babysitters club, back to the future, barbie, barbie's life in the dream house, barbie mariposa, barbie in a mermaid tale, barbie thumbelina, batman, best friends whenever, beverly hills chihuahua, boo bitch, bottoms, boy meets world, bride wars, brooklyn 99, business proposal, camp rock, captain marvel, cat in the hat, cheaper by the dozen, coraline, criminal minds, curious george, deadly class, derry girls, descendants, despicable me, diary of a wimpy kid, dog with a blog, eternals, euphoria, fantastic beasts, footloose, franny's feet, frozen, freeridge, garfield, gilmore girls, girl meets world, good luck charlie, gravity falls, h20: just add water, hannah montana, happy feet, harry potter, heartstopper, high school musical, hocus pocus, home alone, hotel transylvania, how the grinch stole christmas, i am not okay with this, icarly, jessie, kc undercover, kickin’ it, komi can't communicate, lab rats, law & order, lemonade mouth, let it shine, lilo & stitch, little miss sunshine, little rascals, little women, mako mermaids, metal lords, moana, modern family, mr. popper's penguins, my babysitters a vampire, night at the museum, the office, on my block, outer banks, peanuts, percy jackson and the olympians, phineas and ferb, pirates of the caribbean, pixie hollow, the polar express, pretty little liars, princess diaries, the princess and the popstar, ratatouille, riverdale, the santa clause, sam and cat, sesame street, sex and the city, shake it up, shameless, sharkboy and lavagirl, sisterhood of the traveling pants, smallville, smurfs, space jam, spider-man, spongebob squarepants, spy kids, starstruck, stranger things, strong woman do bong soon, the suite life on deck, the summer i turned pretty, the thundermans, teen beach movie, the teenage mutant ninja turtles, toy story, twilight, victorious, wicked, wizards of waverly place, zoey 101

VIDEO GAMES (there’s so many more i can’t think of)

animal crossing, hogwarts legacy, life is strange, minecraft, roblox, uncharted

MISCELLANEOUS

a certain decade or time in history, all women paradise (i love women), animal kingdom, atlantis, angel, babylon, baker, better cr, boarding school, dragon academy, dream college student, eternal childhood, eternal summer, farmer, idol school, marine biologist, new colors paradise, santa’s elf, small town, studying, summer camp, teacher, time traveler, vampire, waiting room

[girlberrie]

oh oh OH you ate this up . lestat and mary??!!!!!very very compelling duo. your writing is amazing as always. i am starstruck.

I’M CRUCIFIED LIKE MY SAVIOR.

. . . the night breathed like a living thing when she first entered his world—a whisper of silk against marble, the faintest tremor of a pulse beneath pale skin. mary moved through the gaslit fog of paris with the quiet certainty of one who knew darkness intimately, though she had not yet learned to call it by its true name. her gloves were stained with ink from writing letters she would never send, her throat adorned with pearls that caught the moonlight like scattered teeth. lestat noticed her immediately. how could he not? in a room full of shrieking aristocrats and perfumed courtesans, she stood apart—a portrait half-finished, all shadows and muted color. he had meant to drain her quickly, this delicate thing with her head bowed over a volume of poetry. another pretty corpse in a city that swallowed them whole. but when his fingers closed around her wrist, she did not scream.

instead, she drove a hairpin into his palm with such precision that black blood bloomed between them like an obscene flower. "how curious," he murmured, licking the wound clean as she stood frozen, her chest rising and falling too fast. the scent of her fear was intoxicating, but beneath it—something richer. something like recognition. she should have run. any sensible creature would have. but mary simply straightened her skirts and said, very softly, "do that again and i'll take your eye next time."

what followed was not courtship, not exactly. it was something far more interesting—a game of chess played with human lives as pawns, a dance where each step brought them closer to the edge of some terrible understanding. lestat showed her the underbelly of the city, the places where blood ran thicker than wine. in return, mary taught him the art of silence, the way a lifted brow could cut deeper than any blade.

they were hades and persephone rewritten for a modern age—no abduction, no weeping mother, just two predators circling each other in the endless dark. lestat, resplendent in his damnation, would have dragged her screaming into the underworld if he thought it would amuse him. but mary had already been living in hell long before they met. her transformation was not a fall but an awakening, the shedding of a skin she never realized was suffocating her.

the first time she killed, she wept—not for the life taken, but for how little it cost her. lestat held her as she shook, his lips pressed to her temple in something almost like reverence. "welcome home," he whispered.

years unspooled like a ribbon dropped from a tower window. they haunted opera boxes and graveyards, trading secrets like schoolchildren trading marbles. sometimes they fought—vicious, beautiful things that left entire ballrooms in ruins. once, she left him buried in a lead coffin for three days just to prove a point. when he emerged, furious and starving, she was waiting with a glass of burgundy and a smile that showed just the tips of her fangs.

"ma reine des ténèbres," he sighed, pressing a hand to his heart as if she had wounded him. the title stuck.

on the eve of the new millennium, they stood on a rooftop watching the city burn below. mary's hair had come loose from its pins, whipping around her face like smoke. "do you ever wonder," she asked, "if we're the villains of someone else's story?"

lestat grinned, all sharp edges and wicked light. "oh darling," he said, pulling her close as the first bombs fell, "we're the villains of everyone's story." and in that moment, with the world ending around them, she knew—no myth would ever do them justice. they were something older, something hungrier. not gods, not monsters, but simply themselves: perfectly, terribly alive.

[sunarryn]

DP X Marvel #32

It all began when Dr. Jasmine Fenton—Jazz, to the brave and traumatized—walked into the Avengers Compound in five-inch block heels, a blood-red blazer, and a clipboard with everyone’s most damning psychological profiles printed in 12-point Times New Roman. She had been hired because, quote, “the last six therapists either quit, cried, or developed their own hero complexes.” SHIELD had gone through the best and brightest the world had to offer. They even tried a Wakandan empathy AI once. It cried. The AI cried.

So when Jazz Fenton walked in, armed with a dual PhD in clinical psychology and trauma therapy, the last thing they expected was that she’d personally know what hero trauma looked like. But she did. Her baby brother was a half-ghost interdimensional guardian who once got hit by a nuke and walked it off. Her parents were mad scientists who tried to dissect him. And her godfather was an immortal corporate vampire with a crown kink and a habit of kidnapping. She had seen things. She understood. And more importantly, she didn’t care. She wasn’t here to coddle them.

“Dr. Fenton,” Steve Rogers greeted politely that first morning.

“Please, call me Jazz,” she said with a smile that made even Natasha lower her coffee. “Or Doctor Fenton if you’re about to lie to me.”

Tony Stark made the mistake of raising an eyebrow. “Oh? What are you gonna do, psychoanalyze me into submission?”

She flipped to his file. “‘Severe abandonment issues, destructive self-worth tendencies, martyr complex buried under layers of narcissistic deflection, sleeps three hours a night, probably cries in the shower—’”

“I don’t cry in the shower!”

“That is because you don’t shower, Mr. Stark.”

That shut him up.

From that day onward, fear fell over the Avengers Compound like a thick, fragrant fog of anxiety. Jazz was everywhere. One moment she was on the roof with Clint discussing his grief over Budapest, the next she was in the lab with Bruce making him cry, and the moment after that she had Loki in handcuffs—not because he was arrested, but because he asked for them.

“I just think maybe I’m too attached to the idea of being hated,” Loki muttered, slouched on the therapy couch.

“You are,” Jazz replied, checking her notes. “You’re addicted to conflict because you’ve built your identity on being an outsider. Every time you’re offered genuine affection, you self-sabotage. You’re not a villain, you’re just a lonely youngest child.”

“I—” Loki blinked. “That is horrifically accurate. And incredibly offensive.”

“Cry harder, Sparklehorn.”

Thor, meanwhile, loved her. Adored her. Followed her around like an emotional support golden retriever with lightning powers. He kept trying to give her things—golden goblets, fur cloaks, an entire goat—until one day she casually picked up Mjolnir while fixing a crooked painting and everyone screamed.

“How the fuck—” Sam Wilson shouted.

“Why can she do that?” Peter Parker asked from the ceiling.

“Therapists shouldn’t be worthy!” Tony wailed. “It’s not natural!”

Jazz shrugged and handed the hammer back to Thor. “I was forged in the fires of Midwestern neglect and ghost radiation. You think Odin can break me? Try surviving your brother getting publicly disemboweled by a government robot while your parents take notes.”

She had no chill. None. She was the only person who called Wanda out on her grief projection, made Bucky talk about his repressed ballet skills, and forced Steve to draw a family tree so she could scream “YOUR ENTIRE FRIEND GROUP IS CODEPENDENT.”

“Group therapy!” she declared one Tuesday.

“No,” said literally everyone.

“Too bad. Show up or I will personally guilt you in front of the media using your own trauma receipts.”

And they did. They came. They came because they were afraid.

Tony sat with arms crossed. “This is stupid.”

“Tell that to your inner child.”

“I don’t have one.”

“Exactly.”

Clint sighed. “This is worse than Budapest.”

“Everything is worse than Budapest,” Natasha replied.

Wanda blinked slowly. “I think I just astrally projected my own anxiety. It’s hovering above me like a raincloud.”

Jazz didn’t even blink. “Let it hover. Let it watch you cry. Maybe it’ll finally grow up.”

Civil War? Canceled.

No one dared fight each other under Jazz’s watch. When tensions began rising between Tony and Steve over the Sokovia Accords, she locked them in a soundproof room with juice boxes and didn’t let them out until they hugged it out like the emotionally repressed golden retrievers they were.

“I will tranquilize you both,” she warned through the door. “I have the darts and the upper body strength. Don’t tempt me.”

They made up within the hour.

At one point, Nick Fury tried to get involved. He barged into one of Jazz’s sessions like he still ran SHIELD.

“What the hell kind of therapy involves throwing knives at a target while crying?” he demanded.

Jazz, unfazed, handed him a stress knife. “Want to try?”

He did. And then immediately rebooked weekly appointments.

By week four, the compound was transformed. Hulk was journaling. Peter was actually doing his homework. Wanda was learning healthy coping mechanisms that didn’t involve mind-controlling entire suburbs. Clint and Natasha were having pillow talks about emotional vulnerability. Even Loki was crocheting.

“Do you know what I’ve done?” he whispered as he stitched a duck.

“I’ve read your file,” Jazz said. “And your Tumblr tag. You’re not special.”

“I am special—”

“You’re traumatized, sweetie.”

Meanwhile, Tony—still deeply suspicious—began following her around trying to find proof she was a Hydra sleeper agent. What he found instead was her absolutely unhinged family.

“You’re related to who?” he asked over coffee one morning.

Jazz sighed. “My little brother is Danny Phantom, ghost-powered superhero and part-time physics major. My godfather is Vlad Masters, ex-billionaire and full-time supervillain with a complex. My parents are Jack and Maddie Fenton.”

Tony blinked. “The guys who duct-taped a rocket to a lawnmower and called it science?”

“The very same.”

“No wonder you’re like this.”

Jazz nodded. “Exactly. I was forged in chaos and trauma. Now I’m here to fix you.”

“I don’t want to be fixed.”

“Too bad. I’ve already started rebuilding your psyche.”

“What does that mean—”

“Check your inner monologue. Notice how it’s stopped calling you a worthless meat puppet?”

Tony screamed.

Even Doctor Strange, who allegedly had the answers to the universe, found himself in a corner drinking tea and rethinking the way he suppressed his emotions with sarcasm and facial hair.

“You’re not mystical, Stephen,” Jazz told him. “You’re just emotionally constipated.”

“I literally astral project.”

“Cool. Now try emotional projection. Maybe apologize to Wong.”

“…Wong is asleep.”

“Wake him up.”

By month two, even the press noticed. The Avengers were glowing. Smiling. Making eye contact during press conferences instead of brooding like middle school theater kids.

“What changed?” a reporter asked.

Tony grabbed the mic. “Her name is Jazz Fenton and she scares the hell out of us.”

Steve nodded solemnly. “She made me cry six times in one session. I told her about my dad.”

“She made me draw my feelings,” Clint added.

“I finally cried about Pietro,” Wanda whispered. “In public. It felt amazing. I think I vomited emotions.”

“Dr. Fenton helped me write a song about my grief,” Thor said proudly. “It’s a power ballad. With goats.”

And then came the incident.

The one time the Avengers tried to disobey her. Sam and Bucky had been arguing again. Loudly. And somewhere in the chaos, someone dared say, “It’s not like Jazz can stop us.”

Wrong.

So, so wrong.

Jazz calmly walked into the sparring room, confiscated Bucky’s knife mid-twirl, took Sam’s wings with one hand, and sat both men down with the force of divine intervention.

“You two,” she said in a voice that made the walls tremble, “are not enemies. You are trauma-bonded enemies-to-friends-to-exes-to-besties. You are a trope. You are a fanfiction tag. You are not about to regress into kindergarten slap fights because one of you forgot the others’ favorite breakfast order.”

“…He forgot my birthday,” Sam muttered.

“Because he has memory trauma! You have it too! You both need to go on a spa day and cry it out in a hot tub like normal people.”

And they did.

They actually did.

The day Jazz left for a conference—just one day—the entire compound fell into shambles. Loki started monologuing again, Peter accidentally built a sentient AI who wrote poetry about death, Wanda started glowing red again, and Tony tried to weaponize emotional damage via sarcastic limericks.

The moment she came back, they all lined up like chastised children.

“What did I say about emotionally projecting without supervision?” she asked.

“Don’t do it,” they chorused.

“And?”

Peter sniffled. “We missed you.”

“Damn right you did.”

Jazz smiled, terrifying and fond, and flipped her clipboard. “Now. Who wants to talk about their mother?”

And the Avengers, Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, sat down.

Because nothing—not Chitauri, not Ultron, not even Thanos—was scarier than the therapist who could lift Mjolnir and your deepest childhood wound in the same breath.

Dr. Jasmine Fenton was the real hero. And everyone knew it.

[wafflehouseyuri]

Never seen any of the boys like at all but pls pls pls Eric kripke make Jared’s superhero character some sort of vampiric something named blood freak bc if Jensens superhero name comes from one of deans most shameful traits (the “daddy’s little soldier” of it all) they should do the same for Sam! Alas if this logic is applied to misha his superhero would just be named like dr faggot or something

[littlebatgames]

The voices of Vampire Therapist

Hi Tumblr! I'm Cyrus Nemati, creative director at Little Bat Games, where we're making Vampire Therapist. You might know me as a voice actor. I voiced Theseus, Dionysus, and Ares in Hades, so as you might imagine, voices are my thing.

When I started designing Vampire Therapist, I wanted to create characters not only had deep narrative depth, but that would be challenging and rewarding to voice. I voice protagonist Sam Walls and his mentor, Andromachos. Writing a game about therapy is really tricky, so being able to jump in revoice lines was a huge benefit for the game!

I also voice two of the therapy clients in the game, Dr. Drayne and Edmund Kean. Dr. Drayne is the kind of challenge any actor delights in, having three very distinct characterizations that have to seem natural, whereas Edmund Kean is the Shakespearean actor of his time.

As much as I'd like to save money, I couldn't voice all characters in the game, but I'm very picky about voices and needed a cast of the absolute best I could find. So I got them.

If you've played Hades 2, you've heard Sarah Grayson or Selene. Or maybe you know her from Gone Home or Tacoma? But I needed her ability to alternate between the very light and the very dark for murderous vampire content creator Meddy.

To play Isabella d'Este, a real historical figure and esteemed patron of the arts during the Renaissance, I needed someone with a sense of the theatrical and some excellent comic timing. For that, I turned to a very old friend, Kylie Clark, who comes much more from the theatre tradition that video games... which she doesn't play at all. Until Vampire Therapist!

For our fabulous goth bartender, Crimson, I needed the epitome of cool, sexy, and tantalizingly mysterious. You might know Francesca Meaux as Eurydice from Hades, but she went to some unexpected places to play Crimson!

I did say I wanted the best of the best, right? Vampire Therapist is a super low-budget indie, but if I'm going to fill a club with quirky, sexy goths, I need range, and for that, I got Matthew Mercer. Yeah, that Matthew Mercer. The Critical Role one. The one from Baldur's Gate 3. The one from all your favorite video games. How could I do less? He's playing Reinhard the sexy goth and Ciaran the goth priest in Vampire Therapist.

You can see the work we've put into every aspect of Vampire Therapist. I think you're going to find that it's unlike any game you've ever played.

It'll be out on July 18th, and you can wishlist it on Steam now!

And on GOG!

[av-shiftz]

⛧ Things to Script for your Supernatural DR ⛧

BLOODHOUND - you can smell when your enemies or things you are hunting are nearby

THINK QUICK - you have very fast reflexes and are always the first to think of a quick, logical solution

SOUL REAPER - you and your loved ones can never die on a hunt, only of old age

WICKED WITCH - hex bags never work on you, and backfire onto the sender

HOLY WATER - you are immune to turning into a supernatural species such as a vampire or werewolf

TRUTH SERUM - you have a way of knowing when someone is lying to you or dodging around the truth

SQUEAKY CLEAN - somehow, you always luck out, and your motel rooms are always clean and sanitary

ANTI POSESSION CHARM - you can never get possessed by a demon or any entity

BLESS OF HEALING - your bruises go away very quickly, and your wounds heal in a short time as well

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS - Sam and Dean don't snore (trust...)

BLOODY MARY - you never get your period during an inconvenient time (ex. on a hunt, not at home)

AT HOME LUXURY - If you live in the bunker, script that it has an extra space with your favorite amenities (ex. pool, hot tub, sauna, gym)

FENDER BENDER - your vehicle can't get wrecked (for those high paced chase moments)

ILLUSION DIFFUSION - you can tell when someone is astral projecting and when they are actually there