#self-acceptance

[akindplace]

depriving yourself of anything you need won’t help you in any way. it will only leave you feeling uncomfortable, stressed, hungry or even sick. you’re not making yourself stronger by denying your needs. needing anything is not a sign of weakness or selfishness. it’s not morally wrong to have needs, even if they are different than others. you don’t have to earn things, your life should not be about self-sacrifice. this is not martyrdom. you don’t have to suffer so much to prove you need anything, or to earn anything. this is your life and your body. don’t be ashamed of meeting its basic needs.

[burnt-by-marigolds]

Why I think it's important that Astarion embraces the shadows

You know it's funny, at first I thought I was trapped by the shadows – cursed to live in them forever. But in time, I realised that darkness is as much a part of me as my fangs. This is only a curse as long as I refuse to embrace the shadows. So I decided I would.

I love how the choice between ascending and forgoing the ritual is designed: ascension grants an immediate reward (and thus presents an alluring temptation), but requires mass slaughter; letting go of the power comes at a personal cost, but saves lives and gives victims a second chance. If it was any other way, there would be no story in this choice; no dilemma, no conflict, nothing memorable.

I also think it’s crucial how in the spawn route, we see Astarion not only in high spirits (When I look at my future, anything and everything feels possible now), but also grieving. While he doesn’t regret his choice, he does feel sorry for his personal loss – which is natural and valid. And while I love that we can promise him to look for another way to walk in the sun again (after all, the Forgotten Realms are full of wonders – and the whole Multiverse even moreso), I also consider the narrative of him coming to terms with his condition (without giving up hope) much more real – and very important, at least to me.

I’d like to talk about two layers here: the more literal one, and the more metaphorical one.

The more literal one is pretty straightforward: we all have our limits in life. Some of them, we’re born with; some come up along the way; and other still are forced onto us. My first thought is neurodivergency or chronic illnesses, but I’m sure other people can name many more examples. You take medications or you go to therapy (pursuing the sun), but at the same time you just have to accept these things are a part of your reality, beyond your control. 

The more metaphorical layer makes me think of the Jungian shadow.

As some of you probably know, the Jungian shadow is the suppressed part of the psyche. It’s the facts about ourselves that are too painful or uncomfortable to acknowledge, facts we are unaware of, or facts we don’t like about ourselves and associate with shame. They make us behave in certain ways, often without us understanding why. And the more we sweep all of this under the rug of unconsciousness, the stronger the shadow becomes, constantly holding us back or making us repeat certain patterns (sometimes maladaptive) over and over.

(I’d like to emphasise that the shadow isn’t inherently “evil” – for example, we may suppress a trait or a behaviour because it’s culturally viewed as unacceptable, not because it’s objectively bad. The shadow is simply what lies uncovered, and may encompass useful and positive things as well.)

You probably already see where this is all going.

When Astarion says he has accepted the shadows as a part of him, he basically says he has learned to love himself just the way he is, without the need to become some better, idealised – and unattainable – version of himself. He has learned he is enough even with all the “less savoury” aspects – and it's clear it makes him feel free and more in control of his life.

Don’t hate me, but I think it’s more important than him literally walking in the sun. And let me reiterate – the point isn’t to forsake the sun entirely. Searching for it is an important endeavor – it symbolises making the word a better place. But I do believe accepting the shadow(s) is crucial to healing and an important first step towards any other goals.

This is who I am. In all my glory, for better and for worse.

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

[quotelr]

Embrace your diverse, prismatic colors! They make you uniquely you!

Amy Leigh Mercree

[feminiel]

It's when you embrace yourself that you realized you belong to something larger.

[the-healing-mindset]

You are a unique, special person and there will never again be another of you in existence in this world. You are a one-off. A rare and precious gift to those fortunate enough to know and love you. As such, you are unmeasurable and priceless.

Dr. Harry Barry - Self-Acceptance

[iseetheworldinmetaphor]

“The neurotic, no matter whether productive or obstructed, suffers fundamentally from the fact that he cannot or will not accept himself, his own individuality, his own personality. On one hand he criticizes himself to excess, on the other he idealizes himself to excess, which means that he makes too great demands on himself and his completeness, so that failing to attain leads only to more self-criticism. If we take this thwarted type as we may do for our purpose, and compare him to the artist, it is at once clear that the artist is, in a sense, the antithesis to the self-critical, neurotic type. Not that the artist does not criticize himself, but by accepting his personality, he not only fulfills that for which the neurotic is striving in vain, but goes far beyond it. The precondition, then, of the creative personality is not only acceptance, but it’s actually glorification of itself.”

—Dr. Otto Rank on Art and Artist, found in Anaïs Nin’s Diaries, Volume One

[thepersonalwords]

Without appreciation (for yourself, others and life itself) there is no growth

Rasheed Ogunlaru

[unwelcome-ozian]

[womenusingwords]

A New Leash on Love

The details… Title: A New Leash on Love Authors: Jaime Clevenger & Aurora Rey Publisher: Bella Books Editor: Heather Flournoy Publication date: November 14, 2024 Available formats: ebook, paperback  Print length: 294 pages Genre: contemporary romance Trope: return to hometown, friends to lovers, high school crush Themes: holiday romance, family, small town, Colorado, family business,…

[akindplace]

This is your reminder that your worth is intrinsic to you being alive right now, and it is not something you have to earn

[chimaerakirin]

Blue Pink White

In honor of Pride Month, I present an MDNI exploration of gender.

A Quirk Did It. Tomura is now stuck in a girl's body, and he's not happy about it. Mostly because of course he wouldn't be, but also because he's slowly realizing he doesn't always hate it. Genderfluid Tomura, genderfluid/nonbinary OC. Slightly more angsty in places than I usually get. I did my best on the research, y'all, but I don't know anyone to ask for personal experiences. If I've misrepresented something, it's entirely by accident and please let me know.

TW: Don't think any this time.

CW: Actual smut this time ya'll. They be lesbians right now. Mentions of anal.

<- Ch1 - Ch2 - CH3 - Ch4 ->

MDNI MDNI MDNI

Exploration

When they finally return to the bar, it's with a black plastic shopping bag with no logo, to gyudon in the kitchen and approval at Tomura's outfit. Spinner especially blushes when he sees the Kindred gender-signal choker. Tomura flatly refuses to do a fashion show when Toga begs, saying that the League can see the other 'she day outfit' on another she day.

Eventually, Tomura and Shiran retreat to their room, and Tomura all but collapses on the bed. "That was exhausting," she whines, rolling sideways and curling up. "Is it always like that?"

Shiran pauses in the middle of unbagging the new clothes."What, shopping?"

"Being a girl." She pauses. "While shopping."

Shiran laughs. "I'll tell you a secret. A lot of women don't like shopping either. I prefer searching online and then only going into the store if I can't get delivery. I just go along with Toga for solidarity and she likes trying things on in person."

"I noticed." Tomura fiddles with her new choker for a minute. "Do you think your he days are exhausting though?"

"Mmm, tricky question. They used to be. First it was because I didn't know what was going on—"

"Been there, done that, T-shirt didn't fit."

She snickers. "No shit. Anyway, I think I was about… fifteen, sixteen when I worked it out? I did have slightly better resources."

"And wasn't discouraged from using them," Tomura mutters.

Shiran is, other than Dabi, the last of All For One and Garaki Kyudai's 'twisted seeds,' a villain attack arranged to kill her parents and fake her death after her Quirk was identified in one of the latter's clinics. Pirate Copy was of great interest to All For One, but even greater interest to the Doctor after it was determined that she wasn't a threat to the Quirk Thief's power but was useful in duplicating Quirks for Noumu production. When Mocha was completed and Tomura was slashed by Stain the day after his bullet wounds from the USJ were done healing, she was attached to the League as a medic. But the Doctor hated working with the ignorant and unimaginative, so she was provided with a proper education. Tomura, on the other hand, was only given a rather restricted curriculum and anything outside that was left to his own carefully stifled curiosity.

"True, and as ever, fuck Ass For One for that. So, I worked it out as a teenager, but it was still kind of exhausting on non-she days because I didn't have any support."

"And when you got support?" Tomura hasn't felt the kind of relief she experienced with everyone's acceptance this morning any time that she can remember, although the reactions when Tiresias first hit him comes close.

"That's the tricky part. Joining the League actually kicked it up a notch at first, because I wasn't used to it. Happiness can be just as draining as misery, you know. But I adjusted, and now one day's about the same as another, as far as… gender energy, I guess, goes."

Tomura's quiet for a minute, while Shiran finishes detagging, folding and stacking the new clothes. When she goes to set them in the box with the fem underwear, Tomura clears her throat. "Could… could you put them in the dresser?"

She pauses. "All of them?"

"All of them."

She smiles and starts shuffling the stacks in the drawers around to make room.

"Do you ever have dysphoria?" Tomura asks. "You were looking it up before…"

"Not… usually?" Shiran frowns thoughtfully. "I'm usually okay with my body. Neutral at worst. I occasionally wish I didn't need the strap-on to have that kind of fun with you, but physically I don't really stress that much? I do have social dysphoria though, a little. I appreciate that everyone around here remembers to check my pins and treats me accordingly. It was a little icky in the beginning when people forgot."

Tomura twitches. "When we catch Tiresias… Would you like to try the Quirk out?"

She closes the dresser drawer and goes to sit on the bed next to Tomura. "I think I would."

Tomura swallows, cheeks flushing. Imagining Shiran with a real dick, imagining Shiran using it on her, or even on him… "I… I think I'm ready to try more than kissing now."

Shiran's lips are soft on hers, fingers gentle on her shoulder and in her hair. "How much more?"

"As much as I can stand," Tomura whispers.

Shiran kisses her again, then stands up, picking up the black plastic bag that hasn't been unpacked yet. "Dress down as much as you're comfortable with. I'll be right back."

Tomura shuffles uncertainly for a minute, then kicks off her shoes, hangs up her hoodie, and scrubs her makeup off using the special wipes Toga included in the kit. Her hair is untied and finger-combed out. She leaves the rest on, she's not usually patient but she doesn't want to rush this so it's better to have speed bumps, and sits back down on the bed.

A few minutes of running water and crackling plastic later, Shiran comes back holding a a plastic box. She sets that down next to the bed, then takes her seat next to Tomura and turns to face her. "How do you want to be treated tonight?"

Tomura's face burns. "Like a virgin. Seduce me. Teach me."

"Your wish is my command."

The incoming kiss is as soft as before, but warmer, somehow. More teasing. Shiran's tongue flicks across the seam of her lips, once, twice, a third time before Tomura lets her in, and she makes a tiny sound as her girlfriend nips lightly at her bottom lip and sucks it into her mouth.

Kissing isn't really that different, Tomura decides. The only real change is from her lips not being chewed as thin, so there's more surface to feel with. (She kind of hopes the damage doesn't come back when she gets the chance to use Tiresias' Quirk again.) So she moves into kissing back fairly quickly.

After a few minutes, they're quite close to sitting in each other's laps, and it's mainly physics that prevents that. When Shiran trails down her jaw to her throat, Tomura pulls her closer and whimpers at the gentle scrape of teeth on the skin just below her choker. So Shiran does it again, tongue swiping across the marked skin to soothe the sting.

"You okay, baby girl?" Shiran asks, and oh that feels good to hear.

"More please," Tomura whispers. Shiran plucks at the collar of her shirt and she nods.

Gently, Shiran finds the hem of Tomura's shirt and lifts it up above her hips, sliding a hand underneath to caress across the skin of her waist. At the same time, her collar is pulled to the side, exposing her bra strap, and Shiran kisses her way across Tomura's collarbone until she gets to the thin band of fabric. A finger hooked under that moves it to the side, just a little, and Tomura reaches for the bottom of the other girl's shirt.

Shiran catches her hand and pulls it away. "No, baby girl. Let me make you feel good."

Hands roam over Tomura's torso, one up her ribs under her shirt, and the other paired with a hot mouth along the top half of her chest. Her skin tightens, and the smooth fabric on the inside of her bra is suddenly very rough, making her whimper when the shoulder strap is plucked again and the whole structure is shifted.

"Let me worship you."

Shigaraki Tomura is not shy. Introverted yes, but not shy. And especially not body-shy, even when the sight of herself (or himself, as it usually is) in the mirror makes her flinch. There's something about the way Shiran pulls her shirt up over her head that makes her want to cover herself anyway.

Shiran's mouth goes to hers again, and they spends another several minutes tasting the inside of each other's mouths while Tomura adjusts to having hands on her skin. Then a thumb slips under the bottom edge of her bra and she jolts. The scrape of fabric is almost unbearable, and she squirms until the bra is threatening to slip out of place.

"Shiran, please," she whines. "'S too sensitive…"

Shiran puts both hands squarely on Tomura's chest, trapping cloth against flesh, and starts to knead. It's an improvement, but at the same time it's also a torment, and she whines again.

"Pleeease, need mooore…"

"All right, all right."

With a smirk, Shiran slides both straps off her shoulders and uses the slack to tug the band and cups down off her breasts. They don't spill out. She's not big enough for that. But her nipples, already on the stiff side, peak up even more at the sudden air exposure, and she glances down in mild fascination at the slight change in shape. Shiran looks at them too and smiles.

"Oh Tomura… They're so pretty. Look at those perky nipples, I love them." Shiran places reverent hands on Tomura's breasts and starts to massage, feeling the shape of the curves with only the lightest brush of her thumbs across the sensitive points. "Can I kiss them?"

Shiran loves it when Tomura does that to her. She wants to know what it's like. She nods, and the ensuing press of soft lips sends a spark of electricity running through her. After the kiss comes the lick, and she rubs her thighs together. After the lick comes the cool puff of breath, and she shivers so hard that Shiran undoes the hooks at the back of the bra so she can set it aside. Then Shiran opens her mouth and closes it around one of Tomura's nipples, and starts to suckle.

Oh, Tomura thinks distantly. That's why she likes it so much.

The heat of Shiran's mouth is replaced by cold air, then by the light pinching of fingers, and Shiran starts sucking on Tomura's other breast instead. Each pulse of pressure sends another lightning spark to the small storm between her legs, and each time she catches a glimpse of her chest as Shiran switches her attentions back and forth, she sees her nipples getting pinker and pinker, the way the other girl's do when Tomura plays with them for a while. Finally Shiran lets go and gives several soothing licks, then raises her head to look Tomura in the eyes.

"You okay, baby girl? You're making such pretty noises…"

Tomura nods jerkily. "K-keep going… And take your shirt off, I wanna see you too…"

Shiran strips off her shirt and her bra in one go, then places a finger against the center of Tomura's chest and pushes until she's laid out on the bed. One hand on her thigh slips up under her skirt and rubs gently on the fabric of her tights. "How do you feel here?"

Tomura tries to shift closer to the touch. "Kinda like when you're being a cocktease and I have to sit there with a hard-on for an hour before we can escape the rest of the League. Except really really wet. I think these panties are probably wrecked."

"Oh, they probably are." Shiran shimmies the tights down her legs, then peeks under the skirt. "Oh baby, you're fucking soaked."

"Then do something about it."

"You're getting more confident. Good." Shiran loosens the buckles on her skirt and pulls it off, then peels her panties down and nudges her legs apart. "You're pretty down here too, baby girl. Did you give yourself a trim this morning?"

"Uh-huh…" And it was almost as nerve-wracking as confronting her reflection.

Shiran strokes the narrow patch of short gray hair before inserting a finger into the folds beneath it. "Did you do this too?"

Tomura squirms at the sensation. It's distinctly different from having his dick touched, but just as good. "A little. Wasn't ready to try anything for real."

"Do it now then. I wanna see you explore your pretty little pussy. Find your clit and show it to me."

Tomura takes a deep breath and slips a hand between her legs. She spends a couple of minutes familiarizing herself with the dips and folds of her flesh, edging a finger shallowly into her entrance, then moving back up to where she knows her clit should be. She finds it almost immediately, and nearly arches off the bed at the first touch because oh god that's a lot, it almost hurts there's so much feedback. She retreats immediately, swallows, and cautiously creeps closer.

"Something wrong, baby?"

"I… I don't think I can touch it directly," she whispers. "'S too much."

"It's like that for some of us. Don't worry, just find what works for you, and tell me when you've got it."

She obeys, circling the too-sensitive bundle of nerves from a safe distance and slowly closing the gap. She figures out quickly that she has to touch just above her clit, but not directly on it, for the best results, and swipes back and forth like she's working the analog stick on a game controller. A knot of tension builds in her gut quickly, but as she chases it it stays frustratingly just out of reach. She brings her free hand to her chest and pinches one of her nipples, a quick tweak in time with the movement of the finger between her legs. The extra stimulation is enough, and the knot snaps, leaving her whining and quaking from the hips outward.

"Good job, baby girl," Shiran praises. "Can you keep going or do you need to recover?"

Tomura twitches her finger against her clit experimentally, then nods slowly. "I can keep going."

Shiran reaches out with both hands and spreads her folds open. "So pretty… All right, show me what you did that worked best."

Tomura blinks, then uses her upper hand to tug the top edge apart and starts to stroke her clit again. "L-like this… Right, ah, right here…"

"The hood," Shiran informs her. "Basically the same as the foreskin. Can you guess the next step?"

"Fingering?"

"Nope." Shiran smiles and leans in close. "I'm going to go down on you now."

With no further fanfare, she drops her head to Tomura's pussy and starts to lick. There's only a brief foray into her entrance, a quick but thorough tracing of the dips and folds, then Shiran plants her mouth on the exact spot Tomura just showed her and uses her tongue to mimic the action that Tomura's finger was performing just a minute ago. She's gentle, careful not to overwhelm, but the wet heat and texture are just that much more intense, especially with the occasional brushes of the stud in her tongue, and Tomura crashes over the edge with a sharp moan.

"You taste so good, Tomura, and you come so prettily." Shiran crawls up over her body and kisses her with slick glistening on her lips.

Tomura knows that taste. She loves that taste. Knowing that this time it's her own taste is almost enough to make her come again. "Fuck me," she whispers.

"Fuck you how?"

"I don't care. Finger me, give me the dildo, the vibrator, give me both and use one in my ass, anything, just please fuck me." She gasps as a finger slides into her cunt. A second one is added and she almost sobs at the sweet intrusion. "Yes, please…"

"So tight, baby," Shiran croons. "Let me warm you up and I'll give you as much as you can handle."

The fingers inside her flex, scissoring apart the way they do when she's prepping him for pegging. Then she starts to stroke along the front wall and Tomura moans loudly because oh god that feels almost exactly like when she hits the one spot in her male body's ass.

"Right there?" Shiran asks. She nods, then almost starts to cry as Shiran pulls out and leans off the side of the bed. "How big do you wanna go?"

"Ahn?" She hears the sound of rummaging in the box. "Oh, um… My size?"

Shiran pauses. "You sure? Might be a lot to start with."

"If you can take it so can I."

"All right, but I am not giving you this in the ass tonight." Shiran comes up with a silvery gray silicone shaft and holds it up for her to see. When Tomura nods again, she kneels between her legs and presses the head of the dildo to her pussy. "Tell me if you need to stop."

"Give it to me."

The broad tip breaches her entrance slowly, and her eyes prick with tears at the sting of the stretch. Shiran was right, it is a lot to start with. She doesn't care though. She wants to feel the things that she's made Shiran feel.

And slowly was not how Tomura fucked her their first time. She grabs for the dildo, putting her hand over Shiran's, and drives it into herself all at once.

It's not a lot. It is in fact too much. Her cunt burns as it's forced open too wide, too fast, and she lets go of the toy's base to fall back on the bed and gasp for breath.

"Tomura! Why? I told you—"

"I did this to you," she chokes out. "'S fair. Needed to know."

"No you didn't…" Shiran sighs. "All right, give yourself a minute. But if you do that again I'm going to hide this one so you can't try to sit on it."

Tomura just breathes for a minute. When the pain starts to fade, she starts to play with her nipples, teasing them until the burn turns to a pleasant sort of heat. "I know better than that," she mumbles sulkily. She shifts her hips and bites her lip. "Mn… It's good now…"

"Dumbass…" Shiran hops her leg to sit next to her and leans down to kiss her on the lips as she takes the dildo by the base and starts to thrust with it.

…Tomura was wrong. This isn't that much like getting fucked in the ass at all. The biggest similarity is in that spot Shiran found with her fingers, but it isn't getting hit the same way, so while she's definitely enjoying herself, it's another case of chasing the edge while it runs away, and she moans as much in frustration as in pleasure.

"It's okay, baby girl," Shiran whispers. "Just relax. Let go. Play with your clit if you need to."

"B-but, nng, you don't need to…" she whines.

"I did in the beginning. You just didn't realize you were doing it for me." Shiran brushes her thumb across the curve just above Tomura's clit. "With the bone ridge here, you hit my clit with every thrust. Then we both got better at it and I learned to come just from your dick."

"I wanna come from your dick," she mumbles. The mental image hits her like the shinkansen. Shiran with a cock, hard and thick, smooth hot skin ridged with veins, flushed red and leaking at the tip. Shiran's hard cock, railing Tomura in the cunt, filling Tomura's ass, spraying sticky white cum across Tomura's tongue for her to swallow, for him to swallow even— The dildo plunges into her again and for a second she forgets it's just silicone, and she cums all over it with a wail.

"Iiiigh think I just did," she slurs with dazed wonder.

"Did what, Tomura?" Shiran asks, slowly pulling the dildo out of her.

"Came from your dick…" She flails a bit, then rolls halfway to face Shiran and wraps an arm around her, pulling her close for a snuggle. "'S real in my head. It's a very nice dick. I wanna suck on it…"

Shiran kisses her deeply. "I'd love to have you suck my dick. Just as soon as we've got that Quirk, okay?"

"Okay."

"How do you feel?"

"Mmm… Sore, but really good…"

"You done for the night then?"

"Almost…" Tomura stares up at her. "Plug me, please? Wanna do anal again soon but it's been a while."

"All right." Shiran leans over her for the box again and grabs one of the mediums. "Lie on your side."

Tomura obeys, folding her legs up toward her chest, and shivers as cool polished metal rubs against her cunt. When it's all slicked up, the blunt tip presses against her rim. The stretch is a little harder than normal, but not as hard as taking the dildo was, and the plug pops into place after a few minutes of careful work. The feeling isn't quite the same, but she clenches around the plug experimentally and moans softly at the familiar tease of nerves. "I missed this…"

"So did I." Shiran climbs over her and stands up, grabbing the dildo, then holds out her hand. "Come on, lets go clean up."

Tomura takes it. "Want me to fuck you with that in the shower?"

Shiran smiles. "Absolutely."

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

[quotelr]

Option A:Spend your life trying to get others to accept you.Option B:Accept yourself, and spend your life with others who recognize what a beauty you are.

Scott Stabile