#self-directed learning
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Toddler - OCCI
Order, Concentration, Coordination, and Independence (OCCI) are foundational pillars that support each child’s natural development in a Montessori classroom. The image of two toddlers working side by side—each deeply engaged with different materials—beautifully illustrates these principles in action. Their focused attention and purposeful movements reflect growing concentration and coordination, while the peaceful coexistence at the same table demonstrates an internalized sense of order. Meanwhile, the surrounding children independently choosing and using their own materials highlight the classroom’s nurturing of autonomy. Together, these elements create a harmonious environment where toddlers thrive through self-directed exploration and respectful collaboration.
#hands on learning#self-directed learning#focus#autonomy#occi#order#concentration#coordination#independence#tma#montessori#private school#arlingtontx#arlington#texas#infant#nido#toddler#early childhood#preschool#kindergarten#elementary#education#private education#nontraditional#the montessori academy of arlington
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Uttam School – Empowering Self-Directed Learning in Girls’ Education
Uttam School for Girls in Ghaziabad encourages Self-Directed Learning to help students take charge of their academic growth. Learners set personal goals, assess their own needs, and engage in independent study supported by digital tools like Khan Academy and Open Door. The school integrates flipped classroom strategies to deepen understanding and promote active learning. This approach empowers students to become confident, curious, and lifelong learners, developing critical thinking skills essential for future success. For more knowledge, Visit: Uttam School Self -Directed Learning Page
#best cbse school in ghaziabad#best cbse school in ghaziabad for girls#best school in ghaziabad#school in ghaziabad#top cbse school in ghaziabad#top cbse school in ghaziabad for girls#top school in ghaziabad#uttam school#self-directed learning#girls school in Ghaziabad#personalized education#flipped classroom#independent learners#Khan Academy schools#holistic development#Uttam School
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Andragogy prioritizes self-directed learning, real-world relevance, and experience. Unlike pedagogy, it fosters autonomy and problem-solving. Its influence spans corporate training, online education, and lifelong learning strategies.
#adult learning#Andragogy#corporate training#education#experiential learning#learning#lifelong-learning#self-directed learning#teachers#teaching
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9 Rules of Ultralearning: Mastering ANYTHING Quickly
Say goodbye to outdated education methods and hello to a more efficient and self-directed way of learning. Start incorporating these principles into your life today and unlock your full learning potential.
Introduction Traditional methods of education are becoming increasingly outdated in today’s fast-paced world. With technology advancing and the market constantly evolving, it’s crucial to learn new skills quickly and effectively to stay ahead of the game. This is where ultra-learning comes in—a method of intense, self-directed learning that allows individuals to master a new skill in a fraction…
#effective learning strategies#how to learn new skills quickly#original content#self-development#self-directed learning#self-help#skill mastery#success#tips and tricks#ultralearning
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What's the project?
To learn, you have to do.
Go ahead: read the books, watch the videos, and take the courses. But at the end of all that, you need to take action. And the best way to do so is to have a project. I don’t mean a 3-panel trifold board school project that you dread so much you put it off until the night before it’s due. I mean a project that puts into action the stuff you’ve just learned. Something that fires you up. And…
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#learning#mastery#music life#project-based#project-based self-directed learning#robert greene#Robert Greene mastery#self-directed learning
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▬ The Vampire Ascendant 🦇🩸
"And just because you're a caring, benevolent leader, doesn't mean you can't treat yourself every now and then."
commission info: here
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion ancunin#astarion#ascended astarion#astarion fanart#bg3edit#astarion art#bg3 render#blender#3dart#3d render#3d artwork#myrender#3d art#ngl kinda went insane with this#spent half of the day just learning how fluids work and then baking and un-baking to get the perfect splash lmao#and then took photos of my self for the pose reference sdfdgdf#but yeah very happy with how it turned out because i had a moment of panic doing the lighting where i thought i took the wrong direction#but nah it all worked out in the end!
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I think a vastly underrated form of anti-capitalism/fascism/discrimination is radical self acceptance. Like just accept being “ugly.” Fuck beauty standards fuck beauty products fuck trends fuck diet culture fuck fitting in fuck “beauty is pain” mindset fuck “healthy things have to taste bad” fuck skin care fuck plastic surgery fuck filters fuck trying to appeal to beauty standards that profit off of your insecurities just exist outside of what the system demands of you. Leave your acne gain weight wear the same clothes forever learn to view what society deems as your “flaws” as an anarchist symbol of power and freedom
#just watched alexander avila’s new video essay n I’m feelin distinctly anarchist now lmao#the video wasn’t even about any of this it just instilled that feeling in me which I then directed at something else#I’m just so sick of trends lmao I wanna wear clothes that people think are weird and cringe#sick of capitalists profiting off of insecurities#I want people to learn more about fat liberation so they can fall into the radical self acceptance pipeline that fuels me now lol#this shit rules I love myself so much and my life is awesome outside of uncontrollable societal horrors#and those uncontrollable societal horrors would get a whole lot better if a bunch of people would get on the same level I’m at real quick#lyla's talking again#fat liberation#sort of
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biggest downside of not having many experiences or meeting many people is not having anything to feed into the art machine
#i think this is what i really mean when i say i dont have the artist's mind#i like drawing and am learning to enjoy how i draw#but beneath the lines i dont really know how to make anything meaningful#i wish i could experience the brain of another artist for this reason like#i didnt do much as a kid didnt watch or play many things didnt meet many people i read quite#a bit but nothing really stuck never learned much in school bc id always just draw#is this why i have nothing even now at 26 living almost the same life?#i cant cobble together a story or background for my characters i cant make stuff that Means anything#i always talk also about how i fear finding a partner bc my stuff is just 99% self indulgent sanity keeping work#idk what id make without the lonely#i dont even know what to make With the lonely but its all thats here#<- this part is only barely related but theres a connection there ykwim#talkys#ive never felt anything good or bad in either direction...not much to draw from ...#i know i dont NEED my ocs to have roles in a novel but it just gets embarrassing at some point#ppl take interest in talon and i cant put together anything interesting there's nothing in my brain#i cant connect threads i cant think outside of the box#alas! alas#i think its just always going to be one of those immutable things 😞 too late to rewire rhe brain#especially since the monotony and captivity is ongoing.#goodnite ^_^
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I'm currently reading FFS while waiting for UtR updates, and the difference between Nate in both series is such whiplash 😭😭
Yeah it's pretty intense.
I mean the main thing is... we just never see Nate properly at all in FFS. Not once. We only see him around someone he doesn't like, at a point in his life when he's already healed from most of his issues, and we never really learn anything much about him. And that was intentional, in a way, Nate and Efnisien butt heads so much because they remind each other of the things they like least in themselves.
But we never see Nate's PTSD, we never see Christian's abuse of him, we never see Nate being insecure with Janusz like he is in Underline the Blue. In that way, we kind of never get to violate Nate's privacy in FFS. He gets to maintain his own walls, his own autonomy, his own sense of self.
They're actually, to me, basically the same. Like some characters I write across AUs are very very different "people" to me (FFS Efnisien vs. canon Efnisien being the main one).
But Nate in both UtBlue and FFS for me is the same. You've just never seen Nate in UtBlue healed, with autonomy, believing he has a right to his own privacy, talking with someone he doesn't like very much. Just like we never see Nate in FFS broken, post-abuse, without autonomy, believing he has no right to his own privacy.
But we see a lot of the glimmers of it. From Nate's scathing self-talk, his constant judgement of Janusz which reads very similarly to how Nate judges Efnisien out loud, to his disdain for a lot of broken systems in the world, and his ability to switch off from things he often doesn't care for. All those things are there, they're all happening in his inner thoughts in Underline the Blue, and if/when - one day - we blow away the worst of his self-hatred, what will be left is the Nate from FFS, just you know, from his perspective, instead of the perspective of someone who doesn't like him.
#asks and answers#nate prince#underline the blue#falling falling stars#nate is one of those characters who really demonstrates#how perspective and narrative impact how a reader 'reads' a character#Nate in FFS doesn't give us vulnerability because *he doesn't want to*#and *he doesn't have to*#Nate in UtB has no choice#Nate in FFS in the same circumstances would read nearly exactly the same#but the circumstances aren't the same#and the POV isn't the same#nate's essential sulky / pushy / gentle personality are the same in both worlds#but in one he's being interpreted by someone who doesn't like him#(like Efnisien literally doesn't like him from the *first* moment he meets him)#and in the second he interprets himself#and janusz interprets him#we can still see Nate's snarky unforgiving voice almost identically in UtB as FFS#it's just in the former he's self-directing most of it#because he's too scared to judge most others with that same incisive wit#but part of his healing will be learning that he's allowed to do that#just like he's allowed to make it clear to Efnisien in FFS that he wants nothing to do with him#i have a lot of nate thoughts#administrator gwyn wants this in the queue
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Automechanic school is really fun besides the 50% of the day where I want to kill myself yknow?
#back at school and I am! sure here!#I just wish that the shop parts of class#had instructions?#like maybe a page of what steps I’m supposed to do to accomplish a task? perhaps what tools I need?#instead of a checklist of things I don’t know how to do????#it’s like self directed but also we won’t give you a map or a compass and also there’s sand in your eyes#rambles#personal I suppose#and like I KNOW THIS ISNT HOW A REAL SHOP WOULD BE#ITS JUST HOW THE CLASSES HERE OPERATE THAT REALLY DOESNT MESH WELL WITH MY LEARNING#BUT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR IT NOT TO FEEL LIKE ORVERWHELMING DREAD EVERY DAY WE SWITCH TO SHOP#AND IT HASNT STOPPED YET#anyways wheels huh?
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You know. Something I noticed about myself is that I enjoy learning to like something. In other words, sometimes I "force" myself to like something or sit through it until I start to actually genuinely enjoy the piece of media. Because, sometimes, it's less about "forcing" and really about training yourself to the direction and way you care about being. I care about seeing better females written in fiction, for example? Then I'll force myself to sit through a story that is well-done, even if it doesn't grip me immediately or even at all. And sometimes, it'll be something I enjoy fondly, sometimes it'll end up consuming my life and give me a new genre to suffer and die over, which is actually the worst. BUT THE POINT
#and NO. you are not a bad person nor am i claiming someone is if they don't do that#this is also how i got interested in characters as characters. though. ngl#I wasn't really interested in screaming about the characters as people. but so many of my friends were#so i just forced myself to engage with it and learn it. and it really has become something i enjoy doing#especially screeching about the nd-ness of some characters#same with some frmale characters. forcing myself to look beyond their fanserviceyness to do what people do with male characters#just in the opposite direction. instead of dumbing them down...making them more than their fanservicey idioticness#but i think I'm probably alone in this mentality 💀. which is fine#it's probably born out of some twisted belief of self-discipline. like how i need to drag myself to bible reading sometimes#but i DO care greatly about Christ and God. and it's become a genuine pleasure to do daily bible readings#even if I'll likely always need reminding#literary lemonade#lemon duck quacks#anyway. point is. because media is sadly a pretty important/influencial fixture in my life#it does me good to train my brain to enjoy stuff I didn't naturally latch onto until it does#this is also how i got into rpg(?) gaming. so clearly there are pitfalls of this discipline#it's also probably why i get sad when people don't try to enjoy things beyond what they obsess over because the brain really is malleable#but i reapect not wanting to try and just veggie out your brain. especially if media doesn't take a big chunk of time#anyway. thoughts brought about by things we were discussing in the discord#and really I'm stupid for this considering I'm the most undisciplined support of self-discipline there is 💀#i can hear my friends calling me audhd. I've only officially got the adhd!
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AM I A WILL WOOD REFERENCE
you like reading about psychology? like brain shit?? like neurological disorders?? like capgras syndrome?? like fregoli deuision?? like cotard’s delusion?? yeah right
#I’M SORRY FOR RESPONDING SO LATE 😭#mr capgras#mr capgras encounters a secondhand vanity#mr capgras encounters a secondhand vanity: tulpamancer's prosopagnosia/pareidolia (as direct result of trauma to the fusiform gyrus)#mr fregoli and the diathesis stress supermodel or: how i learned to stop worrying and love the con (an untitled track)#mr fregoli#self-ish#self ish#will wood#will wood and the tapeworms#wwattw#wwatt#will wood reference#asks!#cotard’s solution#am i a will wood ref?
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this is a bit random and not what i usually post (and as a result i am VERY nervous about talking abt this), but i figured i’d like to share my experience somewhere
i recently learnt the term ‘soulbonding’, and after a lot of looking into it and even more thinking i feel that this label is fitting even if i don’t consider myself entirely plural - it’s complicated to explain
it’s less that they’re in my head exclusively and more so that they’re just… next to me. i can feel the energy, if that makes sense? like, they’re just… there, with me. if you asked me if my main f/o was here i’d blatantly say yes, because to me he just is (and before you ask, he’s not the only one i talk with - there’s quite a few actually!!)
i’ve been like this since i can remember- maybe about 5? but i never had a word for it
the characters im bonded to don’t feel imaginary or fake or for fun - they feel like genuine people im connected to, and as far as i know they are
ever since i was little they’d have this little space for all of them to live in and they can go back and forth between my plain and theirs - that’s still how we do it. they come and go when they please, without warning (well, not no warning - my friends are polite)
but for so long i’ve felt like i was just some batshit insane person for being this way. but im not. im not the only one who feels this sort of connection
anyways i just thought that was neat, and now that i’ve learnt this about myself i feel a lot more comfortable with this aspect of myself
im v new to this, so feel free to direct me to some cool stuff in the community :)
#self ship#soulbond#soulbonding#are these the right tags? im not sure!#im a lost little creature rn so direct me places pls#and educate me bc i wanna learn more abt myself :D
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Hey y’all guess what?!? :) it’s time for a new episode of Bedtime Stories With PCE!!!
Who ordered some old man yaoi? That’s right, this one is set right after If Heaven And Hell Decide, with a sick Kyle, worried Stan, the best little immortal cat of all time, adding injury to illness, two middle aged men being massive fantasy dorks, all that goodness. Very sorry to my favorite arthritic ginger it will happen again, very sorry to his extremely concerned husband.
And y’all. I’m dedicating this to the Sickfic Queen herself, @alwaysinstyle who consistently kicks ass and gets stoked about style taking care of each other with me. Ana I love you so much and I’m so proud of you. All the people in your corner, we have you covered.
Also OFC the rest of the RANT homies have been subjected to random snippets of this over the past 2 weeks or so (jesus my sadsack ass needs to get some motivation back how has it been two weeks) but hey I will always be obnoxious when the mood strikes me and this long ass monstrosity is FINALLY done!!! Thank y’all fr for putting up with me.
Here’s •Well, That Would Be Pretty Odd•
A subtle knock at the door drew Stan’s attention and Kyle from uneasy rest. His husband’s head lolled exhaustively in his hand, still drained of energy and, according to the screen displaying his vitals, running a pretty high fever. Stan kept one arm protectively over him and turned to the door. “Yeah?”
The doctor entered, shutting the door behind her. “Hey, guys, how are we doing in here?”
Kyle pulled up slowly, clearly emotional, like he always got when he was sick. “Can I go home yet? Moose needs me.”
“Our cat,” Stan explained. “He’s worried he scared our cat.”
“I did.”
“Scared the hell out of your husband, too, sick as you are. It says on the chart you guys filled out that your blood sugar was low enough to potentially trigger a seizure. If he hadn’t acted as fast as he did, you’d be even worse off than you are.”
Kyle slumped back into Stan. “He always rescues me,” he murmured.
Stan felt like crying. “I’m your knight when you need me, dude.” He took a deep breath. “Okay, what’re we working with here? Stomach flu, dehydration, complications because of the diabetes, all that, right?”
“Right. Kyle, we have you on antivirals and fluids via IV for now, and I know you’re eager to get home-“
“-he hates hospitals-“
“-I hate hospitals.”
The doctor smiled kindly, even after getting interrupted. Stan liked her. “We’re keeping you overnight at least, but if your vitals are still stable and your fever is less than 102, we can send you home.”
Stan knew Kyle appreciated being the one addressed about his own health. This doctor could read the room, that’s for sure. Kyle nodded tiredly, eyes closed.
“How about when we go home? What’s the plan?” Stan inquired, tired as fuck himself but making an exception for Ky, always.
“Fluids, rest, anything with nutritional value that can stay down. Your friend in the waiting room mentioned orange juice as you guys’ go-to when Kyle’s having trouble with blood sugar? And he said you’re always diligent about keeping an eye on his health.” She was definitely addressing Stan now, since Kyle had clearly relinquished responsibility for the time being, knowing Stan had him covered. Hell yeah he did. “Any further complications; if you catch the bug too and can’t take care of him, another bad sugar drop or fever spike, and you guys come right back here. But at this point, it’s looking like this is something manageable from home, fingers crossed.”
And Stan had every finger crossed. He’d take care of Kyle, just like Kyle took care of him. Even if he was kind of scared as fuck, not having seen him quite this sick since maybe college. Or even when they were kids and he needed kidney surgery. He bit the panic down. Kyle was okay.
“Gotcha. I can spend the night? Spousal rights and everything?”
“You won’t convince him not to stay if you say no,” was Kyle’s muffled reply.
The doctor laughed. “I won’t make you leave. The last thing I want is either of you worked up, especially you, Kyle. If you need your husband with you to be comfortable-“
“-mhm-“
“-that’s not a problem in my book.” She tapped her clipboard with long fingernails. “There’s a call button on the bed if you need anything between the nurses checks, and I’ll tell your friend he’s free to go. He isn’t allowed back here, I’m afraid, but I can also let him know he can be the one to pick you up in the morning, if that’s what you two want?”
Kyle mumbled something that sounded like “like a good neighbor, Tucker is there” to the tune of the state farm insurance jingle. The doctor raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, he’s pretty delirious, alright.” A couple quick checks to Kyle’s IV line and heartbeat monitor, and she was gesturing for Stan to lay his half asleep husband back down. “You boys get some rest. We’ll keep you posted.”
“Thanks,” Stan whispered, letting Kyle nuzzle into his chest as she left the room. Once they were alone in the darkened space, he kissed him softly on the top of the head. Kyle was a space heater. But if the hospital staff wasn’t alarmed, they were okay. “I’ve got you, baby, just sleep.”
The next morning, Kyle improved enough to leave and discharge paperwork done, they faced the problem of actually getting the sick man home.
Stan waved off the nurse’s offered wheelchair and stubbornly picked Kyle up because like hell was he losing even a second of contact. That and he took pride in the fact that he was in his 40s and still able to carry his husband.
“Sir, there’s procedure…”
Kyle snorted from where his head was against Stan’s shoulder, coherent enough to be aware but still too weak to insist on, god forbid, trying to walk on his own. “Believe me, ma’am, there’s no way in hell you’re convincing this guy not to carry me. Losing battle, mark my worms- words.”
Someone needed to be home in bed.
The nurse sighed, clearly deciding it wasn’t worth argument. Thank God, because Kyle could out argue anyone normally, but he was fucking tired.
“Just sing me home again, Orpheus,” he murmured into his husband’s ear.
Stan laughed at the reference. “Alright, ma’am, so if we’re all set….”
“Yes, yes, you can go. Hope you feel better.”
Kyle only had a vague recollection of both Stan and Craig yelling at the hospital staff when they brought him in, which was kind of funny to think about. Craig didn’t get worked up about things easily, and Stan was as gentle as they came. But it was nice to know his friend and his partner were willing to act so out of character for his sake. He muttered a “hey, spaceman” in greeting when Stan lowered him into the back of Craig’s car, mid morning sun forcing him to keep his eyes closed.
Craig barked a short laugh, pulling from the parking lot when both his passengers were settled for the short drive. “Someone’s feeling better.”
“I’ll get him set to rights, kick the plague’s ass,” Stan said, softly kissing his husband’s still too warm forehead. “Thanks for picking us up, dude. And for last night.”
“No biggie,” Craig shrugged nonchalantly. “Someone had to keep a level head and it sure as hell wasn’t gonna be either of you.”
Well, he wasn’t wrong there. Craig was probably the least prone to getting over emotional person Stan had ever met.
Craig’s husband, however, was the exact opposite. Upon getting home and getting up to bed, Kyle could faintly hear the frantic voice of Tweek downstairs, bringing Moose back from spending the night over at apartment two.
Kyle was nauseous, not to the point that he had been, but nauseous all the same, waiting for Stan to be done retrieving their cat and filling Kyle’s water. He felt weak as shit, and sweaty, which was probably a reasonably good indicator of his fever coming down, but it fucking sucked. And he was going to need some soup or something in him soon so his blood sugar didn’t get so bad again, which was another thing that sucked, because why do flesh prisons require so much maintenance? Why did his body require so much to function.
He didn’t realize tears were flowing until Stan entered the bedroom, hands full with the water, a KMBS, and one of those bottled protein drinks that tasted like chalk. Moose was quick to jump up and pad softly over to him, big blue eyes so worried and sweet as he curled up beside him. Kyle’s two blue eyed boys.
The second of whom was setting the drinks on the bedside table. There was a straw in each, so Kyle wouldn’t have to move as much to drink. It made him cry harder.
“Shhh, dude, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Stan climbed onto his side and grabbed the juice, holding it to Kyle’s lips. “I know you don’t feel good, that’s okay. I’ve got you. Go slow, okay?”
Kyle complied, the sharp taste of salted orange juice helping both physically and mentally. Plus, it’s hard to drink something and cry at the same time, so his breathing was a little less sporadic. A few sips were all he managed before his stomach started rolling, and he shook his head. Stan understood, setting the cup down and pulling Kyle’s face into his chest. “Just sleep, baby. I’m gonna have to check your temperature and levels in about an hour, but just sleep until then, alright?”
“Mhm.”
Stan would take care of him. Kyle would put up a fight, when he had the strength to, but Stan knew from experience that he’d be ‘secretly’ loving being cared for.
The husbands had a couple favorite positions to hold each other in. They’d hold the other from behind, arms wrapped around and poised to kiss an exposed nape or shoulder as a reminder of their presence. They would entangle themselves like they were doing now, they’d let the other’s head rest on their legs, Kyle would perch himself in Stans lap or Stan would drape over him like a blanket. Holding each other was safe. And in this moment Stan wrapped protectively around his sick partner like it was his sacred duty, one hand cradling Kyle’s head from underneath, fingers gently rubbing his hair, the other arm tucking him firmly against himself, feeling Moose’s purrs vibrating where the cat had claimed his place against Kyle’s back, right below the place Stan’s arm was wrapped around.
Stan glanced at the nightstand clock, keeping watch for the next time they’d need to wake up for a check in. About an hour and he’d get the thermometer to make sure they were still headed in the right direction, check Kyle’s levels, make them both something for, well, he supposed lunch at this point, and call the clinic to let his coworkers know that he’d be out a few days for a family emergency. He’d have to let Kyle’s work know too, before his husband tried to go into school still unwell.
Fitfully, Kyle dozed, sweating in his sleep, which Stan knew damn well he’d complain about when he woke up, but personally, he didn’t mind holding a miniature sun, because it was Kyle. Overheated, but still Kyle.
It hadn’t quite been an hour, but the warmth was starting to concern him. He gently kissed the top of his husband’s head, encouraging him to stir.
“Dude, hey.”
Kyle let out a tired whine as indication that he was awake.
“I know, baby. I just need to check your temperature and then you can go back to sleep.”
“I can check my own damn temperature,” Kyle protested, rolling over onto his back when Stan relinquished his grasp around his beloved. He scowled. “I’m all sweaty.”
Stan chuckled lowly. Was he right or was he right. “Gimme a second.”
Upon getting the thermometer and finding that they were still going in the right direction, Stan relaxed slightly. He let Kyle check both his temperature and blood sugar by himself, because it wasn’t worth the impending argument and the last thing he wanted was to make his husband feel helpless. Fever was down, but he definitely needed something to eat soon.
“Dude, do you think you can handle something solid, or you wanna keep sticking with drinks?”
Kyle hadn’t puked in a while, so he felt like maybe something simple, easy on the stomach, would be okay. As much as he wanted to keep going with the safe option of juice and a protein shake, he wouldn’t get better without something substantial in him and he knew it. “I can try. No promises.”
“You don’t need to promise anything,” Stan insisted, leaning down to kiss him on the way out of bed. “But I have an idea, if you’re okay by yourself for a few minutes.”
“Moose is with me. I’m not by myself,” Kyle remarked with a sleepy smile.
Stan snorted and went to change into jeans, last night’s pajamas not exactly ideal attire for walking to the BBQ place a block over. Kyle was weird about food sometimes, but Brendan’s mac and cheese was a simple, safe, Kyle approved bet. He’d probably want it to get cold first like he usually did (weirdo), but sick Kyle was sort of a wild card. They’d see.
“I’ll be back in fifteen, dude, drink some water.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.”
Kyle heard the door close downstairs, slowly reaching for his water at the bedside, one hand resting on their cat’s head. Moose was stretched out along his side, fluffy tail dangling off the side of the mattress.
“You sleepy too, young nastyman?” Kyle asked, setting the bottle down and closing his eyes. Moose purred in response.
Apparently he’d drifted off again, waking up to the rustle of a takeout bag and a strong, smoky smell.
Kyle clapped a hand over his mouth. Ordinarily the smell of brisket and ribs wouldn’t bother him, but in his half asleep state, smelling meat on Stan of all people…
“…Dude?”
“FUCKING CHANGE!” Kyle screeched, staggering up to run to the bathroom, tears in his eyes because the bbq place smell all over his vegetarian husband was wrong and disorienting and he hated being sick and fevers made him sensitive and an asshole and-
Falling hard in front of the toilet, he felt his knee go out. The cherry on top of the fucking cake while his stomach tried to escape his body. Kyle cried out in pain, which was cut off immediately by a wave of sick splashing into the porcelain while he attempted to move and take the weight off his left leg, shaking and already crying because he was pissed and it hurt and he couldn’t catch a damn break. Dry heaving and spluttering, he collapsed tiredly into the alcove between the toilet and the cabinets, one trembling arm draped over the seat and the other hand clutching his knee, eyes shut tightly against the light and the nausea and pain.
“Ky, hey, hey, oh, fuck, baby, shit, did you twist your knee? Okay, you’re okay, hold on-“
Kyle leaned over to retch again, choking out “YOU SMELL WRONG” because that’s all he could manage between gasps.
Stan yanked his shirt off and threw it through the open door into the hallway, past where Moose was watching with wide eyes from the threshold. “Okay, I’m sorry, is that better? Here.” He gently eased Kyle’s hand away from his leg, carefully straightening it out. “God, yeah, it’s already swelling.”
“WHY do I have to LIVE IN THIS GODDAMN FLESH PRISON?!?” Kyle slammed his fist against the floor, frustrated beyond belief. Stan caught his hand before he could do it again.
“Shh, Ky, c’mon. You’re okay, it’s fine.”
Seeing his husband like this, sick, aggravating his bad knee mid vomit, broke Stan’s heart. But he had him. He had him and wouldn’t let go. Was that dramatic? Absolutely. But when the fuck was he not dramatic about Kyle’s health?
“THAT FUCKING STUPID ASS NURSE!” Kyle was yelling. “Sending me sick kids, thinking they were just trying to get out of class, that BITCH!”
“Baby, dude, calm down, man, breathe.”
“YOU’RE ONE TO FUCKING TALK!”
Alright, point to Kyle. Stan sighed as Kyle heaved over the toilet again, expelling nothing but water. They really needed to get something in him before he wound up needing the hospital again. Stan gently rubbed his husband’s back as he hiccuped and cried, clearly feeling betrayed by his body. A few minutes of heavy breathing, and Kyle was pulling back up. “I- I think I’m d-done.”
“Alright dude, I’m gonna get you up now, that okay?”
“Mhm”
Very, very carefully, Stan hauled Kyle from the floor, mindful not to move his knee too much and going slow in case of another bout of nausea. Moose trotted into the bedroom after his dads, obviously distressed seeing Kyle cry and immediately curling back up against the redhead when Stan set him down.
Stan was honestly a little nauseous himself, because Kyle’s frustrated tears never failed to make him emotional too. But he knew what to do here, he reminded himself. Fever was coming down, leg flare up was pretty routine, Kyle would rant it out if he had to and Stan would be his yes-man, and liquids were probably going to be the staple for the rest of the day.
He rolled up a throw blanket and propped it under Kyle’s leg, taking some strain off the irritated joint and kissing his husband’s kneecap when he did so. “You want ice, babe?”
“Yes I want fucking ice,” Kyle mumbled, arms draped over his eyes.
Stan could admit to enjoying taking care of Kyle when he fucked up his knee; pissed off Kyle was cute. “Aw, baby, I got you.” He grabbed the takeout bag from the nightstand too, not knowing if the bbq smell was lingering there too. “I’ll stick this in the fridge for when you want something solid, okay? How ‘bout another Ensure?”
Kyle grumbled something inaudible that Stan took as a yes. Poor thing was so upset. But he had every right to be, and Stan would never be annoyed at him for that.
Downstairs, he debated making his husband a smoothie, but the blender was loud, and his head probably already hurt from throwing up. Instead, he just grabbed an ice pack and a shake (strawberry, still gross but the flavor Kyle hated the least), taking the time to scribble out the nutrition information, just in case. That practice was pretty much habit at this point; he’d started ripping off or crossing out the calories on food for Kyle when they were fourteen, when his favorite person was recovering from his eating disorder, and even if he’d been more than fine for a longgggg time, Stan was prone to reverting to the past. When Kyle wasn’t okay, for whatever reason, food lore got crossed out.
“Dude, you up?”
“Mm”
“Shit, babe.” Stan knelt by the bed to carefully apply the ice, reaching a hand up to thumb away a falling tear. “You just mad?”
“Fucking pissed,” Kyle moaned. “It’s not enough that I have the goddamn plague?!? I have to have to fuck my leg up too? My parents are, like twice our age and even they don’t have fucking arthritis!” Kyle pointed two middle fingers to the ceiling as a ‘fuck you’ to god, which was actually pretty funny, but Stan didn’t laugh. That would only make his husband madder.
“Ky, c’mon.” Stan cupped under his head to kiss his cheek, relishing in the subtle smile that action brought. “And your parents didn’t shred tendons and refuse to do physical therapy.”
“I am damn well aware my goddamn arthritis is my own fault, Staniel.” But he sighed contentedly, adjusting the ice pack before leaning back against the pillows. “That helps. I’m sorry.”
Declaring the anger over for now, Stan climbed into bed beside him. “Don’t be sorry, dude. How’s your stomach?”
“I don’t fucking feel good.”
“I know, dude, can you drink a little water? We have to keep you hydrated.”
“It’ll just come back up.”
“Not necessarily.”
Moose crawled up between his dads, small furry head on Kyle’s shoulder, knowing he needed comfort. Kyle rubbed his face on the cat. “Babyman, did I scare you last night? I did, huh?”
“Dude,” Stan started, “he’s fine. You’re fine. We’re all fine. Drink something and don’t move your leg.”
“I didn’t shred my tendons, by the way.” Kyle protested. “I just tore some shit a little.”
“Enough that it’s a problem even now.”
“See, you get it.”
Stan laughed. “Quit being a dick and go to sleep, baby. You know you’ll feel better. I’m right here, dude, whatever you need.”
“I’m not being a dick, I’m being contrary.”
“Same difference.”
“Mm.”
God, poor Kyle, pissed off, sick, having a flare up on top of everything else. “Dude, what do you need?”
“Leg hurts.”
“We have a pack on it, dude. Maybe some ibuprofen? You should take some for the fever anyway.”
“It hurts.”
Stan started to gently rub his partner’s knee. “I know, babe. I know it’s hurting.”
“I hit it on the floor.”
“I know you did.”
“Fuck this shit.”
Kyle knew he was being a total dramatic asshole, but he didn’t care. God had fucked him over; he could be a dick. That made sense. “I’m mad, dude.”
“That’s okay.”
And no he didn’t have the right to be mad. Stan was being so sweet. Always. Any time Kyle’s meat suit betrayed him and he got upset about it, Stan was there, doting and adorable as ever. “I’m sleepy.”
“So go to sleep.”
“Something bad’s gonna happen.”
“Oh, dude.” Stan wrapped around him, carefully. “We’re not OCD spiraling. We’re not. A little rest, alright?”
In actuality, Kyle was too tired to argue.
It had to have been a few hours when Stan felt Kyle stir against his chest, swinging over to get out of bed… and promptly falling with a loud “FUCK!”
“Ky?”
“I FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT MY GODDAMN LEG!!!”
Stan sprang off the bed then too, getting on the floor beside his hyperventilating husband. “Dude, shhh, okay, okay, straighten it out.”
Sobbing, Kyle did. “D-don’t, freak, okay? I moved it weird, that’s all.”
“It’s fine, dude. Look at me. I’m not freaking out.” He was just doing a good job hiding it. Stan hated seeing Kyle cry, emotional, probably still feverish and nauseated, trying to get up in the middle of the night and falling on his knee, just the perfect storm of fucked up shit. But Kyle needed to stay calm, above all else. “What did you need, dude? Let me help you.”
“Water,” Kyle mumbled dejectedly.
“And guess what? You have me for that.” Stan carefully felt around his husband’s leg. “Can I turn a light on?”
Kyle responded by throwing up into the trash can, which had Stan gagging too. Fuck. Honestly, he was surprised he lasted so long without sympathy puking. “Hold on, baby.”
Stan rushed to the bathroom to empty his own stomach, somehow only just noticing that he still hadn’t put a shirt on from earlier. And Kyle hadn’t said anything about him wearing “outside pants” in bed, either, which was probably the best indicator of how sick he was.
Flushing down the panic induced vomit, Stan stood and glared at his reflection while he rinsed his mouth out, gulping a few handfuls of water from the sink. He had to keep it together. He needed a plan. Okay. Get Kyle back in bed, check his temperature and blood sugar, go downstairs to fill up his water and feed Moose, go from there.
Kyle had curled up on the floor back in the bedroom, and Moose had the zoomies. Stan sighed.
“Dude, okay, let’s get up.”
“Moving sucks ass.”
“I know it does, babe, but the bed is better than the floor.”
“Quit being right,” Kyle mumbled, allowing himself to be helped back under the covers. Stan snagged his readers from the nightstand, flipping on the lamp and grabbing the thermometer too.
“Okay, melmë, let’s see.”
Kyle smiled a little. “You look like a dad.”
“I am a dad,” he reminded him. Even if he’d bemoaned needing reading glasses and his body getting softer with age, his sentimental side was happy he had made it this far in life, especially with Kyle at his side. “Our son is bouncing off the walls as we speak. Open.”
Down to 100.3, thank whoever the fuck was up there. Maybe he should be thanking Kyle’s God, not having any attachment to one of his own. When he’d first started AA and found that part of the whole thing was putting things in the hands of a higher power, he had posed the question of what to do if you weren’t particularly religious to his sponsor. Mark had said “hell, put your faith in the doorknob if you want. Got you in here, didn’t it?”
“What’s the damage?” Kyle inquired.
“Definitely better. You want to check your levels or can I?”
Kyle slowly opened his eyes. “I got it, sweetheart, you’ve been doing so much.”
“Because I want to.”
“I’m difficult.”
Stan brought Kyle’s hand up to his lips and kissed it. “It so isn’t your fault that you got sick, or that you hurt your knee, or that you have diabetes. In sickness and in health, right?” Kyle’s fond grin only grew, and Stan decided to let up on the overbearingness. He snatched Moose up quickly on the cat’s next lap around the room. “I’m filling your water and feeding the dragon, okay? Be right back.”
So he had sweat out most of the fever, it seemed like. Judging by how sticky he felt, Kyle was fairly certain he was over the worst. At least in terms of the fucking stomach flu. His leg was a different story.
It was dim in the bedroom with only a sliver of moonlight slipping through the window, and the soft light from the lamp, but he could feel that he’d aggravated his knee pretty bad. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. The cartilage felt like it was grinding when he shifted. Kyle groaned in frustration, debating trying to hop over to the closet for his brace, but deciding against it, because Stan would flip his lid if he saw him standing. And considering what his blood sugar was at, being vertical was a bad idea anyway.
Said husband returned to the room. “I come bearing gifts for the king!”
Dork. Freshly refilled water, a KMBS, sleeve of crackers. Stan presented the juice. “Your elixir, melda târ. And-“ he beelined for the top of the closet, clearly having read Kyle’s mind.
“Thank you, my most dutiful and trusted of knights.” Kyle let him secure the knee brace, watching as those careful, strong, gentle hands worked, as Stan leaned down to kiss his leg when he was done. His Stan. His sweet Sir Marshwalker.
“Oh, shit, dude, are you crying? Does it hurt that much?” Stan was up by his face again. Kyle shook his head.
“It’s not that; I just- I really fucking love you,” he sobbed.
“Aw, baby, come here.” Stan climbed into bed and wrapped around him again, avoiding touching his husband’s stomach or leg. A little jingle of Moose’s collar announced their boy’s return to the bedroom, a tiny *prrrt* as the cat settled back at Kyle’s side. “You’re not as warm as you were, Ky, I think you’re getting better. That’s good, my love, you’re okay.”
“I’m okay,” Kyle murmured against him, damp eyelashes tickling Stan’s chest. “You still don’t have a shirt on.”
Stan laughed. So he had noticed. “You complaining?”
“You know I’m not.”
#gaywads#bedtime stories with PCE#for Ana my love#OrangeJuiceVerse#again idk how to tag this#style#them#south park#my shit#emeto tw#illness#chronic pain#whump#more bullshit#lmm voice: look at my son#look at this i learned something today ass bitch#i spy an elf king#fanfiction#my wriitng#sorry for all the vomit in this dude#also this shit#self indulgent#as fuck#PCE stfu abt OJV Kyle’s bad knee#here we goooo#yea the title is a direct throam reference and I’m not sorry
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If u voted third party u failed everyone your little ego thought you could save people who keep saying this election has no right to effect the entire world your right but actually think twice about the queer and non white minorities in your own country's if you actually cared Abt anything except for blaming people you don't even think about when you say the word "Americans" (especially if your white saying this) see how they are doing gn
#if you see whats happening in the us abd your first thought is to belittle every little thing instead of talking about the REAL injustice#that happens here ur useless and whats the point of even talking about it? what cause it only effects you? great!#our government doesnt represent us and never has it only works for itself and ill be damned to hear people hat dont wven know whats happeni#over here to literally say anything minorities are killed EVERYDAY like its illegal for us to be here and we have to hear white foreigners#tell us we are the problem get fucked and educate ur self#dont call yourself critizing anything when u cant even make the effort to educate yourself on the sheer amount of injustice people face her#if u could understand for just one SECOND how bad it was here youd actually learn we are in the same boat but no critical thinking isnt#directed to your actual enemyd just your easy target when ur blinded by rage#fucking pathetic
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it’s with depression that i fear i have to say, i think for a long time (too long really), zuko doesn’t reach out to his uncle during his retirement in ba sing se, not even for the much needed guidance he could use, because he considers it part of the exhaustive list of reparations the fire nation (and he himself) owes
#zuko: he deserves peace too that’s what this is all for#and you zuko? your peace? (he doesn’t know the meaning of the word in relation to himself)#i’m sure iroh reaches out often. lots of letters#but for one zuko’s swamped and pushing himself past his own limits with his responsibilities besides#and for two he’s just as guilty about his treatment of his uncle as his treatment of the gaang if not probably moreso really#it is of course horribly misguided and i expect iroh would eventually show up on his doorstep like you IDIOT boy of mine—!#but until then. zuko is in fact being a self sacrificing and self hating idiot#i also think this is largely true to his character because he has no idea how to uphold normal and healthy relationships#obvi particularly familial#and zuko always deals in extremes when it comes to everything he does#so rather than outright cruelty and insults….he swings in the opposite direction and overcompensates….#by shutting iroh out completely#and justifying it as ‘he deserves peace and i do not’#which is completely incorrect of course on all levels#but he’s still learning and his development arc doesn’t end at the finale of book 3#ebb and flow. like water one might even say teehee#idk if this is canon to the comics i’m not super familiar with them except for a few plot points and quotes#it just breaks my heart that zuko still doesn’t understand that it is harmful to withhold himself from people who care about him#than it is to supposedly protect them from knowing him and being close to him#he makes me so emo hes so emo i love him so much
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