#so I'll try to do that when i get home from work!

[godbirdart]

yknow i used to feel this a lot

whenever someone asked me to hang out i often wanted to decline and stay home, but recently i started scruffing myself saying "no, you need sunlight and human interaction. outside with you."; and it's been pretty great for my mental health since.

obviously if i'm tired and exhausted from work or haven't any meaningful Me Time in a while, yeah okay i'll take the day for me to rest and vibe. but if i wasn't planning on doing anything specific that day, yeah i'll push myself to go out with friends when they ask - even if staying home feels more appealing. declining plans over and over because home is more convenient and comfortable just rewards and reinforces isolated behavior, and in a world growing increasingly isolated socially, that can be disastrously detrimental to both your mental health and your social life. if you keep turning people down when they ask to hang out, if done over and over and over again they'll eventually stop asking simply because they've realize that the answer rarely if ever changes.

now, mental health absolutely plays a huge factor here. it can be overwhelmingly difficult to motivate yourself to go out and see the sunshine and friends when dealing with depression; but that's the insidious thing about it. depression traps you in a self-sabotaging cycle. it makes you stay home alone withdrawn from people, which then exacerbates your depressive symptoms causing you to stay home and withdraw even more. pushing yourself up and out to go see people, no matter how misery-inducing it may feel to get dressed and out the door, will do so much more for your mental health than any number of rest days home alone ever will. like a muscle, the more times you combat that discomfort and overcome the resistance, the easier it'll be.

when your brain is bemoaning "I don't know, that's scary..." you gotta combat it with with "who cares if it's scary? that's what makes it an experience!"

now, you don't need to push yourself to do big, grandiose social events. pushing yourself beyond your comfort level is crucial, yes, but you have to hold yourself to realistic proactive steps that work for you. you can start with small, casual hangouts. going for coffee. visiting a friend's home. having a walk around the park. something low-pressure that gets you past the threshold of your front door. whenever you're feeling that reluctance, that urge to hide away and hole up in a blanket burrito instead of socializing, fight it.

poor mental health can also make it difficult to communicate interest. sometimes you're just not up for something or just can't go, and that's normal! we're all people with individual lives and schedules! it's not realistic for anyone to be ready to hang out at any given moment. a mere "sorry, can't today" could come off disinterested even if you are indeed interested. instead, you could try:

"I'm not feeling up for [insert activity] today, but maybe could we go do [insert other activity] instead?"

"I can't go to [insert activity] today, but I want to! Could we do [insert activity] on [insert specific date] instead?"

these reaffirm your interest while also offering compromise / solutions, which is a lot better than just outright declining.

because it's related, i'd also like to add here: sometimes lives get busy and wind up in an initiation stalemate. people want to hang out, but they don't act on that intent. it ends up being a passive back-and-forth of "we should hang out sometime!" but never goes anywhere. more often than not people do want to hang out, they just can't on short-term notice. to tackle this you need to kill the phrase "we should hang out" and instead try:

"hey! wanna go do [insert activity] on [insert specific time / date]?"

not only does this initiate the conversation and communicate interest, it also offers the person an activity with a specific time or date they could then plan for if said activity interests them; and if they're someone that's got their own career or family stuff going on, planning is everything.

i absolutely relate to OP's post here, even now when my mental health is better than it's been in decades. i'm sure as hell not above some good ol' shitposting. this post was just a really good segue into talking about isolation oops

me when someone abruptly asks me if i want to go and do something fun together but the fun thing wasn't part of my daily plan:

[cherrysinner]

PAIRING: adult nerd!rafe x adult pervert!reader

SYNOPSIS: your stay at tannyhill doesn't start off well, yet somehow it ends up with you being sarah's bridesmaid.

TAGS: flashbacks. fluff. angst. rafe's pov. wc: 2.5k

SONG: favourite person - peach prc

THE ART OF REDISCOVERY

the worst thing about first loves is that you don't really realize they're just going to be your first love, and nothing more. most people think they're going to end up with their first love, whether it's their sandbox love, high school sweetheart, or even someone who never really reciprocated their feelings. but more often than not, it ends up not lasting. most of the time it isn't even because the love was no longer there. it can be that you just grew apart and feel like different people now, it can be extenuating circumstances, or it can be that you feel like you are thousands of miles apart, whether that's literally or figuratively.

as you laid in the guest bedroom of your first love's childhood home, with him only soundly sleeping a few rooms away, you could still remember how you both thought the same thing about yourselves. you'd thought you were the exception, instead of the rule.

you knew you and rafe were going to take different paths in life, but you'd hoped you'd get to walk them side by side. but life sometimes had a way of throwing curveballs at you.

rafe stared up at the same ceiling he'd spent all his teenage years staring up at, but none of his teenage thoughts had been nearly as grueling as the thoughts currently bouncing around in his mind. the last time he had been in this house was with you when you'd met his family, and now you were both back here again.

yet it was nothing like back then.

"fuck, i'm gonna miss you so bad, you have no idea." you mumbled through tears, sniffling as you hid your face in the side of rafe's neck. rafe let out a teary laugh, stroking your head as he pressed his eyes closed, "trust me, i know."

you pulled back, stroking his cheek, the boy's glasses slightly fogged up from tears. "i love you so much. promise me that we're gonna talk every day, and that if anyone tries to hit on you you're just gonna look them up and down and go 'eugh'."

"i promise." rafe said, and he meant it. he leaned down, capturing your lips with his, the grip on your waist tightening, pulling you into his chest as your lips moved together for the last time for a long time, both of you trying to convey just how much you didn't want it to be happening.

you pulled away, pressing your forehead against his, "i promise i'll love you forever." rafe whispered, and hearing those words broke your heart all over again.

"i should go." you pulled away with a sniffle, rafe reluctantly letting go with a sad nod. "call me when you get there." "as long as you'll do the same."

and when you turned and walked to your car, you couldn't bare to look back, knowing that if you did, you might not ever be able to resist turning back and running to him.

so you got into your car, and drove away. and as when rafe's figure started getting smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror, you had to resist turning back and running back to him.

but you could make long distance work. if anyone could make it work, it would be you and rafe, you smiled tearily, clutching the locket around your neck with one of your hands.

you walked into the makeup trailer with cat-eye-shaped sunglasses covering your eyes, giving everyone in the trailer a wan smile as you went to your usual makeup artist, the blue-haired woman smiling brightly at you, "hey gi- oh."

the makeup artist's sentence was interrupted by you taking your sunglasses off, the woman taking a look at your red-rimmed eyes and the eyebags decorating them. "rough night, huh?"

"you could say that." you said with a humorless chuckle as you sat yourself down on the chair, "don't worry, i'll make you look like you actually got some sleep." she said as she started to gather up stuff, looking through the makeup on the desk in front of you.

"so, you wanna talk about it?" clarissa asked as she was applying undereye patches under your eyes. you pursed your lips, swallowing as if swallowing down the words you were about to say would make them not a reality. "break up."

the blue-haired woman's brows raised, "what, you mean with mr. 'we're gonna be together forever'?" "that's the one." you tutted your lips, "what happened? do i need to call up some guys?"

you let out a soft chuckle, "no, it wasn't like that... it was for both our sakes. he's busy with his studies, i'm busy shooting, then i'm gonna be busy promoting, and then shooting something else..." you sighed, "maintaining a relationship where you can't physically touch someone while doing that all just felt too much, you know?"

"i'm sorry," clarissa pursed her lips, "but some things just aren't meant to last forever. but having a relationship that was as good as yours and lasted for as long as it did is rare. and it ending doesn't mean it failed, it just... ran its course." you nodded at her words, "but, you definitely need some cheering up. i'm taking you out tonight." "clar-" "no buts." "wasn't gonna say but." you grinned, "i was gonna ask if i can bring my roommate."

when clarissa turned away, you looked at yourself in the mirror and took in a deep breath, "i'm going to be okay." you whispered to yourself, putting on a calm smile, "i'm going to be fine."

you walked into the kitchen when the sun was already up, still clad in your pajamas and rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, taking advantage of finally having two weeks off from waking up at four in the morning, only to find that rafe was already fully dressed, perched up on one of the stools, reading a newspaper with an apple in his hand.

this rafe looked much different from the rafe you remembered. he had built up a bit more muscle, and unlike when he'd push his hair back with gel, he'd let it be, even having a slight stubble. he wore different spectacles, silver-rims changing to a darker color, a more mature shape. his skin—

you were startled by the sudden tsk of his lips, the man not even looking up from his newspaper at you as the words, "are you gonna get something to eat or just stare at me the entire day?" left his lips in a cold tone. you cleared your throat, avoiding looking at rafe as you felt your cheeks warm up.

"so, any exciting plans?" you asked with a cheery tone as you made your way to the coffee machine, "are you gonna see some old friends?" "stop trying to make small talk. we both know it's awkward." rafe rose from his stool, letting it scrape against the marble floor, looking at you for the first time that day, "congrats on the nomination." he said, but there was no joy in his tone of voice.

before you could respond, though, he'd let the core of the apple hit the bottom of the trash can with a metallic clang! and walked out of the kitchen. when you looked to the newspaper on the counter and saw even a sliver of your name, you scoffed, the newspaper joining the apple core in the trash can. you leaned back against the counter, bringing the cup of coffee to your lips.

this rafe didn't only look different than your rafe. this rafe acted different.

the moment you and rielle got back to your apartment from the night club, the girl was already putting music on all over again, already digging through the liquor cabinet.

"do you mind if i use your bedroom to call rafe?" you asked with a pleading grin, "go ahead. but if you two start having phone sex over there, just know that i'll be listening." "good, i'm into that." you laughed, pulling the bedroom door closed.

you plopped down onto her bed, searching for rafe's contact until you finally found it, hearing your roommate pop a bottle open in the other room. after a few rings, rafe answered with a groggy voice, "mmmhello?" he mumbled.

"guess what, guess what, guess what!" "tell me..." "i got it!!" you cheered. "got what?" you laughed at your boyfriend's sleepiness, "the part. the netflix show i've been telling you about? i got it." "mmm, that's good, baby..." "rafe, i'm gonna play the main character! on a netflix show! this is huge for me!" "'m sorry..." rafe cleared his throat, "i was up late 'n i just got to sleep. i am really happy for you, though. so proud of my girl. can't wait to watch it."

"shit, i forgot that it's almost five am there..." you groaned, "come on, celebratory shots!" echoed from the living room. you let out a sigh, "i'm sorry for waking you up." "it's okay. i always love hearing your voice." you chuckle softly, "go have fun with rielle. not too much fun though, no slumber party kissing." "we were thirteen!" you laughed softly, "i love you and i miss you." "i love you and i miss you too."

you hung up the phone and went into the living room, "you're getting your own showwww!" rielle whooped, holding up a bottle of tequila. you rushed to her, "to me getting my own show." you grinned, the two of you clinking your shot glasses together before tapping them on the table and throwing them back.

you were lounging by the pool in one of your bikinis, sunglasses covering your eyes, your speakers playing music at a low volume next to you, your mind feeling empty, your body feeling calm, for the first time in as long as you could remember.

until you heard the back door glass door slide open with a frustrated sarah rushing out, "no, jb, you don't understand! her not being able to make it ruins this whole thing!" she cried. you slid your sunglasses down your nose as you looked over to them with furrowed brows, "come on, it's just one bridesmaid! you've still got kie!" "no, but i have her dress, i have her bouquet, neither of those will be refunded, and even worse, we're gonna have to pick a whole new entrance song! the one i picked only works if my maid of honor and two bridesmaids walk before me! not just the maid of honor and one bridesmaid! it doesn't work! "

"sarah, i'm sorry, but annie couldn't really predict this." john b sighed, "we'll just find a new song, baby. i'm sorry." the man pulled his fiancée close, pressing a kiss on top of her head.

you wrapped a bathrobe around you before you got up off the sun lounger, heading towards the couple, "is... everything alright?" you asked, your brows furrowed as you looked between them. sarah sniffled, pulling slightly away from john b's grasp, sniffling, "yeah, sarah's just bummed because one of her bridesmaids called and said she couldn't make it." "and now we're gonna have to figure out a whole new entrance song, and probably use the bridesmaid's dress as kindling." sarah wiped at her eye with a sad chuckle.

you pursed your lips in thought before speaking, "i don't wanna cross any boundaries, and you can say no, but... if you need a bridesmaid, i could be one...?"

sarah's eyes seemed to brighten at your suggestion, "really? you'd do that for me?" "i mean, i've never been a bridesmaid, so i wouldn't know what to do, but if you-"

before you could finish your sentence, sarah had pulled you into a bone-crushing hug."thank you, thank you, thank you so much!" she exclaimed as she pulled away, "thank you, really. you're a lifesaver." "of course." "shit," sarah looked down at her apple watch, "you need to get to a fitting to make sure the bridesmaids dress will be ready before the wedding!"

"it's two weeks away, though." "yes, but they're gonna wanna make a bunch of alterations." sarah sighed, "if you go get changed now, i'm sure they can start off tonight." "alright." you chuckled softly, clearing your throat, "i'm gonna head inside."

when the door closed behind you, sarah turned to her fiancé, cocking her head to the side and narrowing her eyes, "you did well. i'm starting to think you're enjoying this." john b. cleared his throat, "i'm just... following your lead." "but the name we agreed on was anna. not annie."

"kook diva." john b mumbled before pulling his fiancée into a kiss.

as you rushed down the stairs, now fully dressed, you found no one around you except for rafe, "where are-" "they went wedding cake tasting." rafe cut you off, getting on his feet. "i'm your ride, unfortunately. again."

you twiddled your thumbs in your lap the entire ride to the tailor, your foot tapping at the floor of the car the entire ride, until rafe piped up, "can you stop?"

you turned to him with your eyes narrowed, tilting your head to the side. you'd had enough of his bitchy attitude.

"why? it's not your car anyway. if you're bothered by the noise then turn on the radio." you scowled, turning to look out of the window, missing the small upwards twitch of rafe's lips.

once he pulled up in front of the tailor, rafe cleared his throat, "alright, hurry up in there. i don't wanna wait in a hot car all day." you scoffed, "like i'm suffering alone." you crossed your arms in front of your chest, "you're coming in there with me, or i'm not going at all."

"are you serious?" rafe let out a sigh, only to receive a simple lift of your eyebrows in response that made your ex reluctantly leaving the car and walking into the shop with you.

rafe was sitting on a sofa outside the fitting room waiting for you, when you finally pushed the curtains aside with a wide smile, giving him a little twirl. "how do i look?"

he looked at you up and down, clearing his throat. "you look... fine."

watching you drive away from him felt like rafe was watching his entire life drive away right in front of him. so he closed his eyes, but kept waving at you, kept up the feigned smile on his lips. but every part of him regretted not coming with you.

when rafe saw you walk out of the fitting room in the pink dress, smiling widely at him in a way that made his heart pang, before spinning around, looking to you with your head tilted to the side, as if the seductive look on your face was pulling the words he wanted to say right out of his throat; gorgeous, sexy, beautiful, ethereal... only for the words he forced himself to let out to be heard, "you look... fine."

[lunescore]

Sevika x INCREDIBLY anxious reader like she cannot go anywhere outdie by herself(most likely due to past trauma) and physically needs to hold onto sevika whenever they're out, even if its just a string from sevika's poncho whenever sev needs to talk to someone important. But then somebody DOES get to reader when they're alone. And sevika goes on a bloody rampage when she finds out:P

Sevika x Incredibly Anxious!Reader

Sevika didn't expect you to be like this, she did see how you were anxious but not to this level. The rain pelted hard against the window as you sat in the middle of Sevika's bed, wearing her hoodie and hugging a pillow that smelled like her, rocking back and forth making the bed creak very slightly. Your face was tear streaked. You just wanted your Sevika to come back home fast.

Your bottom lip was jutted out as you texted her, “Do you love me?”

It took Sevika ten minutes before she sent in a reply text, “I'm bringing ice-cream.”

You smiled through your tears and typed fast with your fingers, “I love you 🎀”

Sevika was back in roughly an hour, holding ice-cream in one hand and draped from her other hand was her poncho. She was slightly soaked from the rain and her boots squelched with dried mud as she walked inside and kicked her shoes off at the door. She closed it behind herself and let out a tired groan.

“I'm back, baby.”

You waddled out of the bedroom, covered in blankets and wrapped your blanket-covered limbs around Sevika's torso. “Mmm, I missed you,” you mumbled incoherently and pushed your face against her chest. You could hear her pounding heartbeat from her chest.

Sevika chuckled before pressing a kiss to your temple. “Oh, sweetheart, we need to work with your attachment issues.”

“Can we not talk about this now? And can you stay in bed with me and never leave?” You pouted.

Sevika cracked into soft laughter before she picked you up easily with her mechanical arm. She walked into the bedroom, tossing you and the ice-cream onto the bed which you instantly grabbed, wrenching open the lid and licking your lips.

“I love you, you little menace.” Sevika threw her poncho on the back of a chair and kissed your lips, bending down.

“I love you too, cuddle bear.” You grinned.

But you both didn't sit down to talk about it. The moment the ice-cream tub was empty, you put the spoon down and leaned against Sevika's chest, yawning. “Sleepy?” Sevika asked as she stroked your hair.

“Not really.” You glanced at the window. “But the weather is perfect for napping all day.”

And with that you fell asleep in her arms, you felt so warm in her embrace and felt perfect. Later that night, Sevika needed to go out to run some errands for Silco again, she gently moved away from you to quickly pull on her poncho, glancing out of the window, checking for rain.

“Baby?” You muttered groggily and rubbed your eyes.

She looked at you, then sighed. “I'm sorry baby I need to go get some work done.”

“Wha…?” You reached out and ripped off a loose thread from her poncho. “I'll hold onto this then,” you reached back and grabbed her pillow, taking a deep whiff, “This too…”

Sevika ruffled your hair before kissing your forehead and grabbing her bag off the hook, “Alright, babygirl. I won't be long. I promise.”

“Mmmm…”

Then she left. The room's air felt stale. Silent. Quiet. You could almost hear your heartbeat because of the quietness of the room and you craved her touch already. What if something bad happened? You tried calling Sevika but she didn't pick. It had been a little bit since she'd left and you were rolling about it in bed trying to distract yourself by scrolling through your phone but it was barely any help.

You sighed, tossing your phone aside after the fifth time checking if Sevika had read your last message. Still nothing. The rain had eased into a steady drizzle now, tapping softly against the window like an annoying lullaby you couldn’t sleep to. The room smelled like her— leather, cigarette smoke, and the faint trace of her shampoo— but without her in it, everything felt… hollow.

You turned over and buried your face into her pillow, clutching the loose thread you'd plucked from her poncho like it was a talisman.

“Come home, Sev…”

You whispered to no one. Your eyes welled again but you stubbornly blinked them away.

You found yourself opening her contact and recording a voice message, whispering hoarsely, “I’m sorry, I know you’re busy. I’m really trying, I swear. I’m okay, I just miss you so much. Just… let me know you’re okay, please?”

You didn’t send it. You hovered over the send button. Then finally just deleted it. Curling back under the blanket, you tried to convince yourself to sleep. But every creak in the hallway made you perk up. And then—

The front door opened.

“Baby!?” You ran to her, almost slipping and falling but catching balance before you fling yourself into her arms. She stumbled but managed balance.

“Woah, bunny…” she caught the side of your face with her flesh hand, “What's up, baby? Are you okay?”

“I just missed you so much!” You buried your face in her chest, rubbing it just for safe measure as if she'd disappear but she stayed.

A deep chuckle and a pat on the head, “My sweet bunny. C’mere, let's go to the bedroom.”

You nodded and you both made your way back into your little comfort zone. Sevika pushed you against the bed till the back of your knees collided against the edge and you toppled down. You let her take control, your hoodie riding up slightly. She stuck her hands under your top, squeezing your bare waist before kissing you deeply.

Her legs moved in between yours and the kiss was intimate, loving and a silent promise of “I'm never leaving” and that's all you needed right now.

[izzacripple]

Girls like you run around with guys like me!

Sypnosis : being drunk and putting your ass in a dark alley wasn't on your new year's resolution list. But, oh well!

Warnings : ♡ stalker! sylus x reader

♡ non-con ♡ unprotected p in v ♡ no prep

Being pulled into a dark alley after 1 am while you have drunk your ass off isn't the most ideal situation, especially when you lost your bag somewhere around midnight in the bar, and you're 20 minutes from home at a sober pace, which translates to roughly half an hour in your current state.

Not that it really matters anymore; you've been yanked off by someone who's a lot stronger than you.

You open your mouth to scream but a hand forces its fingers into your mouth, making you gag. The other arm wrapped around your waist, and someone's lips on your neck.

You try to struggle, but between your intoxication and the muscles on this person, you wind up feeling weak and pathetic, not being able do anything to stop what's happening, and it makes a pit in your stomach; and just like that, you start weeping.

"oh, kitten," they coo, "there's no need to cry. i'm not gonna hurt ya," they insist, differing themselves by grinding their rock-hard cock against your ass, violating you. "Aww, you have gotten nothing to worry about. i'll keep you safe. Yea?"

Those are... weird words, coming from someone who's in the process of assaulting you.

"it seems your gag reflex is extremely sensitive, so fucking your mouth is canceled," they say, thrusting their fingers deeper into your mouth to make their point; spit covering their fingers, and if you were less drunk you might've bitten down. "fucking your ass is very tempting, but it's not like you prepared for me, so it would be kind of gross. you leave me with no choice, really." They sigh.

They yank your top and panties down in a single motion, keeping them around your chest and thighs, limiting your range of movement. The fingers tugged out of your mouth, and before you can think to scream, they're shoved into your tight dry cunt. You both groan; you, from the pain of not being prepared to take two fingers all at once, and them, from the anticipation of getting their cock in there sometime in the next few minutes.

"I haven't introduced myself yet! how rude of me," they say, pressing your body uncomfortably into a concrete wall. "you can call me Sylus. I'm the leader of Onychinus,” they brush your sweet spot and you moan uncontrollably, "oh, there? yeah, that's it, clench around my fingers you fucking slut. anyway, i work in the N109 zone. I sound like a criminal, but I make a lot of money. Plenty to keep you warm, a roof over your head, food in your mouth. aren't you glad i'm your husband now?"

This guy is a maniac. he's fucking crazy.

"going keep you, my love," he says, and you hear the sound of zipper opening behind you. "gonna give you everything you could ever need." you can feel his cock, rubbing against your now-wet folds; it's big, and you wonder if the uncomfortable preparation was enough. "you're gonna feel so good and make me feel so good," he whispers in your ear, before biting down on your neck and nudging his red girthy tip into your cunt.

You can hear his moans as he slides into you. he's ridiculously girthy, causing a new wave of tears to slide down your cheeks. He splits you in half with his cock and keeps going, teeth gnawing against your neck, a primal claim on your neck and in your pussy. He hits your bruised spot before he's all the way in, pleasuring you without any effort, and you can feel his smirk on your skin as you cry out.

He pauses, and though you feel like he should be done right now, like that's all the cock he has to force into you; you can't feel his hips against yours, scaring you. Some lunatic has you trapped against an alley wall, teeth against your throat, with a cock that reminds you of some monster-cock, all of it buried in your pussy. and he wants to keep you in these thoughts as he forces his way with you.

He releases his mouth from your neck, and it aches there, too, but it doesn't hurt as much as your actively protesting cunt. He just grinds his cock in, getting it as deep as possible. one of his hands travels down to your belly, and he chuckles in a low voice as he feels over the bulge his cock is making there. You've pretty much sobered up at this point, but his cock is making you drunk again, making you dumb.

"you're so perfect for me, my gorgeous girl," he breathes, and that's the only warning you get as he really starts.

You're forced into the wall as he fucks you, deep and hard, and you can feel every vein on his cock as he forces himself inside you, feels himself in your tummy. He pulls out a few inches and thrusts them back in, presses your hips into his, completely covers you with his huge body. "This foolish cunt, it's so tight," he gives you a hard thrust, making you spasm around him; he seems to remember you're not just a fleshlight, and then puts his fingers around your aching clit. "so- so fucking- good for me. meant for my cock. your stupid cunt needs my cock," he rubs in circles around your clit and you moan, clenching around his dick. "you desired this, didn't you? needed me to touch you. needed me to show you your fucking place. on my cock, forever," he hisses.

You don't answer, and he probably doesn't expect you to. All he needs you to do is lay down and take it, and you do, obediently taking his giant cock on every thrust. "mine," he pants into your ear, shoving his cock into your cunt, balls deep inside of you and staying there, grinding in circular motion as he copies the motion on your clit; his cock hitting all the right places in your pussy, and the never-ending rubbing on your clit sends you over, orgasming hard around him.

As much as you wish he couldn't tell, he feels it, can see your wet slick drip out around his cock. "slut," he whispers. "good. fucking. slut. cumming for me, doing so well. want me in you all the time, yeah" he continues his fast pace, "and who am i to keep that from you? doing you a favor, forcing myself onto you; couldn't keep your cunt off my cock if you tried. and you won't," he fucks a loud moan out of you, "because you know you need this now. need me just as much as i need you, need you to be my little cocksleeve, stretching so perfectly around me."

You felt weird, and the last thing that happens before you pass out is him forcing his tongue into your mouth while babbling about fucking a baby into you. Maybe when you'll wake up, all this will be just a dream.

[starconstruction]

Did someone say empty queue? Can I get former lover Hyunjin showing up completely unexpectedly to your wedding (she came as a +1 for a friend of a friend, not realizing that it would be your wedding). The two of you sneak off somewhere to talk things out, catch up. It was an amicable breakup, she went abroad to chase her dreams and you stayed around to maintain your stability. Tears lead to a hug, which leads to a kiss, a "I missed you", a "we shouldn't do this" but you do it anyway. It's closure, or so you think, until the "I love you" comes out before you can stop yourself, and she replies back "I love you too" a little too quickly

its her (but i wish it was you)

Hyunjin x Male Reader (smut)

smut tags: body worship, cheating, fingering, riding, creampie

really enjoyed this request, actually dropped all my other projects to get this one done. Thanks for suggesting, and I really hope its to your liking.

now I have Rabbit & Steel to play once more, while my queue is empty

Word Count: 4205

Today is the most joyful day of your life.

In just 4 hours you are going to be married to the love of your life, the whole ordeal was a sprint, a rush, borderline disaster. The catering cancelled last minute and another one accepted just three days before, the decorations had been delayed for so long you weren't sure they were going to arrive and the RSVP list was short until the last two weeks when suddenly everyone and their entire family wanted to come.

But, despite it all. You two had made it through, in all its collective glory. The wedding hall decked out in stunning arrays of baby pink veils, white lilies in ornate pale vases, the tables draped over in a similar shade of plain. It was exactly what you and Kahei wanted, sleek, modern and an embodiment of you two.

Now you were in the dressing room, trying to make yourself not look like a hurricane swept over you. You and your best woman, Jiwoo. She's always had the proper sense of fashion and that very brutal (although sweet) honesty to kick you in the balls when things weren't correct.

She was lounging in the plastic chair, wearing her own very stylish peach dress. Wearing it well, as per usual. "You look... like a bit of a mess Y/N." Jiwoo said with a gentle laugh. As to soften the blow of her harsh remark. "Come here, let me sort you out. Can't embarrass yourself on your wedding now."

You lowered yourself to reach her leaned back embrace, letting her hands fiddle around with your red bow-tie. She straightened it into something actually presentable. "I don't know how you still can't wear your clothes... It's been how many years since you've met me?"

"Every time I try to dress you berate me." You grunted, letting her sort out your black blazer as well.

"Because you dress like a dead rat." Jiwoo stated, tucking your shirt in. "There you go, actually wearing your clothes instead of looking like you slept in them. Good stuff." Her hand sarcastically smacked your back in praise.

"Clearly the dead rat stuff was working for me up until this point." You gave rightful snark, looking at yourself in the mirror, damn you looked good. Jiwoo was a life saver.

"Kahei clearly just has low standards, did you talk to Chaewon? She wanted you to help her choose music. Your wife-to-be has truly terrible taste." That sounded like her, a spotify playlist that would even make an experimentalist cry from ear bleed.

"Yeah, don't worry I would never let her music play. I can't afford the paperwork for however many therapists we'd need."

"Don't think there would be enough in this city, the therapists would need a therapist. You should go quickly."

"Yep, thanks Jiwoo. Lifesaver."

"Of course, I'll be helping myself to double the food as rightful compensation."

You were already out the door, paying no mind to Jiwoo's words, you already bought 4x more than you would ever need. She could have it, even take more home if she wants. Rushing to Chaewon's corner, Jiwoo didn't tell you where she was but thankfully her location just happened to be on. Continuing this blitz of a day where if a second was wasted you'd feel the ramifications.

You knocked on the door where Chaewon (likely) was. Thankfully she answered, wearing mint green. The dress code for this entire day was quite simple, wear whatever colour you liked. Everyone looked in their element, a good choice from Kahei. She had her phone in her hand, eyes furrowed in visible disgruntlement.

"How is it going Chaewon?" You asked.

"Urgh! I've been going through every 'good wedding music playlist' and its all bad. Classical music is not the vibe for this wedding!" She shouted, your indicator to discreetly kick that door shut before the entire venue heard you.

"Yeah? What is the vibe of this wedding?" Your curiosity was piqued, sitting down on the chair adjacent to her. Everyone had put so much effort into this. It nearly bought a tear to your eye.

"I don't know! It's just, neither you or her are exactly the classy type– I think? Not to offend." Chaewon looked in distress, panicking more than you were. Putting her head to the table in disbelief.

"It's fine, you're right." You pondered for a second. "I'm thinking it could just be easier to play something from your playlist? Best taste out of all of us." You offered, Chaewon's always been the aux, to the point half of your playlist is just hers. Kahei and you bonded over that to begin with.

You remembered meeting her like yesterday, three years ago. You, Chaewon and a few random people you met online got together to go do some fucking competitive bowling which sounds stupid. But it was a fantastic time.

One of those people just so happened to be her of all people and you hit it off like dynamite. Perhaps for some reasons you wouldn't like to admit, but the two of you went on a date not a week later to a pizza parlor. So all in all it was humble beginnings.

"Really? Mine? I mean– what if the guests hate it?" Chaewon stuttered.

"You are worrying too much, 60% of the people who are turning up already listen to your music."

"Yeah? What about the 40-"

"Chaewon." You centered her gaze, putting your hands on her shoulders. "Calm Down." Her face scowled a bit but then started to recompose, stress flooding out of her system at last.

"Right, yeah. Sorry, I'll make a playlist full of my favourites. Thank you, for coming here. You always solve things so quickly." She let out a sigh of relief, adjusting her blonde hair that had swept up in her stress session.

"No problem Chaewon, relax... We still have–" You took a reflexive look at your watch. "3 hours 22 minutes... plenty of time."

"Yep! I'm going to get to work, I'm sure you are needed elsewhere." That you probably were, seemingly needing to be in eight places at once.

"I'll see you later, don't go too hard on yourself."

"I won't, bye!"

That was quick, dismissing yourself once more. There was at least one more task– double checking all the food. Make sure it's all neat, not on the floor, usual stuff.

You approached the countless tables of bought food, someone had beat you to it. One less things to deal with, good. You can relax, at least a little bit.

"Y/N?" That voice.

Her.

Maybe you couldn't relax.

You turned around, there she was. Hyunjin, she looked different now, older. It's been so many years since you've seen her in the flesh, so many years since you've broken up, so many years since she left to pursue her dreams.

An entire kaleidoscope of emotions hit you at once. Sadness, joy, confusion, regret and relief. She looked so good in that yellow dress, covering her body in her favourite colour.

You've only just realised how long you've stood there in silence. Staring at her.

"Hyunjin?" Your voice was meek, shocked, taking a step closer.

"Hey..." She was not fairing any better, looking down to the left of you, not willing to make eye contact. Hyunjin's hand was nervously stroking her arm.

"Why are you here?"

"I was invited, happened to be in the country for a few months. Plus one for Yena. Kahei's friend, I don't know if you know her." Yena, Yena, the name rang a faint bell in your mind. You didn't know her that well, friend of a friend at best. Funny how fate works.

"I see, well–"

"Can we talk?" Hyunjin cut you off despite her timidness. "Privately, please."

"Of course." You wanted to talk more than anything in this current moment, to finally reunite with your friend after so many years. You racked your brain, Jiwoo likely had left to check on Kahei, your best bet by far. "Follow."

The two of you quickly sprinted, for as well as she could in heels. Opening the door before Hyunjin was in frame, it was empty. Thankfully. "Alright, here will do." You ushered her in, closing the door behind with a soft click. No distractions, just the two of you.

The room was tense, throbbing with the strongest, purest emotion. Hyunjin sat down, so did you. Neither one wanting to be the one that shattered the silence. You two still couldn't look each other in the eyes, the seconds passed, nothing. Your heart raced, struggling to breathe, you haven't felt like this since before you broke up.

You couldn't' take it anymore, the atmosphere was crushing you alive, one more second and you'd implode. "So, how's it been...? since yknow."

"I did exactly what we planned, left to go pursue those dreams of music. Spent a few years trying, I'd say I've been successful. So, at least it was worth something." That filled you with bittersweet pride, she worked for what she wanted. And why you two broke up in the first place.

"That's good, I'm glad to hear it. From our first date I knew you had what it took." Your words choked out, everything was hard to say under the currents of emotions threatening to drown you.

Why did you feel like this? Today was your wedding. You should be ecstatic. Yet you feel this much just by seeing her.

"The karaoke? Yeah, you certainly weren't winning rewards for your vocal cover of ViVid." She jabbed at you, like old times.

"Hey come on, It had only just come out, didn't have time to refine it." Despite your words neither of you showed positive emotion, inflections. It was just, still.

"Oh myyy gaWd yes, a real revisionist take, going to win so many grammys. Look, congratulations on getting married. I've heard she's a great person."

She was, being with you through thick and thin. Always sweet, always her.

But something felt off in her words.

"Thank you, she really is. I met her not long after you left, I still remember that day you left like it was yesterday."

That day was traumatic, it was just after Hyunjin decided what she wanted to do with her life. It was impulsive, there was an opportunity to take that she had to take. You both agreed with that, the two of you were in floods of tears. Sharing one last meal of instant noodles on the floor together, her head resting on your lap. That was when she chose to break it off since long distance wouldn't work.

It'd just cause you more pain.

You agreed, but that didn't mean it didn't feel like a dagger stabbing you through the heart.

"So do I! The minute I got on that fucking plane I couldn't stop crying, it took weeks for me to be able to get out of bed in the morning and actually function!" Her eyes started to coat with tears, falling down her cheeks.

"I. Hyunjin, I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I made the decision. I just.. wish you picked up my calls, we could have stayed in touch. You– left me on read. Why?" She locked her eyes with you, they were twinged in red. You leaned forward slightly, accidentally brushing her knee with your hand.

"I couldn't, every time I saw your texts... It reminded me of everything, I couldn't do it." Your eyes began to water as well, all that pain hitting you like a truck, still as forceful as all those years ago.

"You could have told me that... All those nights I spent looking up at the ceiling, wondering if you hated me. Wondering if you despised me for my actions." She sobbed. You couldn't stand seeing Hyunjin like this, it ate at you.

More than it should.

Your arms wrapped around Hyunjin's shaking form, soothingly rubbing her back with your hand. She leaned into your touch, head falling onto your shoulder. "Thank you..." She croaked in your ear.

"No problem." The scent of her bodywash filled your nose in this proximity, a gentle vanilla. That was always her favourite, an easy birthday gift. Every time, your bathroom was mostly full of the stuff. The nostalgia hurt, in a fond way.

"This was the part that made me struggle the most, not having you to hug me whenever things went wrong. When I was being suffocated, knowing that you were on the other side of the world, living your own life." Your stomach dropped, how could you have done this to her? You ran like a coward, leaving her to struggle. You struggled as well, but it hate to be your fault ultimately.

This breakup may have been amicable but it still makes your heart throb.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. What's done is done." It was certainly done.

Hyunjin pulled away, faces inches away from each other. It was sudden, unpredictable.

Her lips were on yours.

Your eyes widened in shock, she had her eyes closed. It was a small peck, but it was charged with bliss. She began to pull away. "God– I'm so sorr-"

You kissed her back.

Deeply. It was slow, passionate. Her lips tasted sweet, her breath like candy. Hyunjin pushed you in deeper, tongues dancing together. There was complete harmony, euphony.

Eventually the two of you broke away, "That was. Wow." She said, that kiss was just like the last one you shared, a sense of longing. You shouldn't want her, that kiss should have never happened. Kahei was getting ready for you, the hell was wrong with you?

"I've missed you, Y/N. So much, I'm so happy for you. But I miss you."

"I've missed you as well! A lot, more than anything." You replied, Hyunjin leaned against the table.

"I know, we could have each other one last time. Write off this chapter of your life, close the doors." Hyunjin offered, you froze.

You wanted her, way more than you should. But you couldn't, you were getting married in less than 3 hours.

"We shouldn't do this, we can't do this." You muttered.

"We shouldn't, no." She agreed, "But– I want you, badly. What Kahei doesn't know won't hurt her." That was true. What the deer can't see won't hurt them.

You gulped, no way you should do this. But the way she shined, like an old flame and you were the moth. She was truly alluring.

Fuck it.

You were caught in the moment, towering over Hyunjin's body as she leaned back to accommodate your embrace fully. giving her smooth creamy neck the attention it deserves, peppering it in open mouth kisses. Careful not to leave a singular revealing mark, she threw her neck back to give you further access. "Mmh, I missed your kisses." She let out a gasp.

You lowered to her collarbone, the last piece of skin not obscured by the sunflower yellow dress. Licking the flesh with just pure affection, worshiping her divine body. The faint pleasant scent of the earlier vanilla finding its way back into your nostrils. "Just perfect." You sighed.

"Take my dress off, neatly." You complied at once, hands daintily tugging off the straps that held the whole piece together. It began to fall down, letting her flawless skin get revealed inch by inch. It fell to the floor, Hyunjin elegantly kicked out of the trapping fabric. She got out of her luxurious heels, bare feet touching the ground. While you laid out her dress on the table.

Your jaw dropped. She was so fucking pretty, maturing in all the right places. An actual angel in your embrace. There was only two barriers left, guarding the most intimate parts of her body. Though such phrasing would do disservice to the rest of the picture. From her beautiful toned stomach to her gorgeous thighs. All of Hyunjin deserved attention.

That'd you give in spades. You were eye-level with her abs, making out with them. There was no words shared, they didn't need to be in this instance. Just a few moments of pure bliss. And that simplicity is appreciable.

"Let me get you out of that suit, I'll keep it neat." Hyunjin took your blazer off, resting it on the chair to your right, wasting no time before your bowtie and shirt came off next. She was careful to not let a single flaw come upon the clothes.

The rest disappeared in a flash, and now you were both standing in front of each other in nothing but your underwear. But you had a suspicion that wasn't going to be the case for very long. You slipped behind her back, unclipping her white bra. You dived right in, taking the pink bud in her mouth like where it deserved to be. Flicking your tongue against her buds, feeling them harden in your embrace. Fingertips carefully working on the right nipple.

"That's nice... fuck." Hyunjin moaned into the air softly, running her fingers through her hair, raking your scalp with her nails. "You always touch me so well." Her praise made you suck harder, spare hand pressing against her back.

When you pulled away, her white underwear weren't exactly white anymore. More so grey, a big wet spot formed as a direct result of your actions. "You look so pretty Hyunjin." Those words were irrelevant, she knew you thought that. But they felt right to say.

"Take them off, please." She whined, you compiled. The panties fell to the floor, then left there, her pussy was glistening in need. "Touch me."

Hyunjin gasped when your fingers rubbed her lips, coating them in her wetness. "So skilled, you always know how to touch me." You continued your work, sliding a finger inside. Hyunjin was tight, tighter than you remember. Squeezing around just the one digit like it was your cock.

"You are so tight..." You cooed, adding a second finger. You explored her depths, dragging your fingers against her walls in search of that spot. The one you've found before and found now. Instinctual memory, so to speak. She squealed an affirmation, you continued. Softly abusing her g-spot for the continuous streams of broken whimpers that leaked out of her slightly ajar mouth.

"fuck." You weren't certain who murmured that one. There was a shared revelry, wet squelching noises coming from your slow and insistent fingering of Hyunjin's warm cunt.

"We don't– mmh have much time left, come on. Fuck me." She purred.

"How do you want it?" You asked, pulling your fingers which were not completely drenched in Hyunjin's juices. Bringing them to your mouth as you tasted her by proxy, that taste you've siphoned from the source many a night. Still just as delicious as then.

"hm nostalgia's sake. Like our first time." You knew exactly where how she wanted it, falling onto the chair Hyunjin sat on, observing how she sauntered over. "Let me..." She pulled your underwear down just enough to reveal your erect cock. "Going to ride this cock, for the last time."

And as such, when Hyunjin lowered herself down onto your cock, the circular narrative had concluded. Ending and beginning in this intimate position, faces inches apart. Her breath a mist descending on your lips.

She sat on your lap, cock completely engulfed in her pussy. Her walls clenched around you, neither of you moved. The shared embrace full of emotion, what ones you couldn't be sure. "Mmh, that's good." Hyunjin gasped, her arms fell onto your back, sliding between the crevice of the chair to embrace you closer.

Your hands found her ass, taking handfuls of the pillow-like flesh. Squeezing into between delicate kneads, the two of you two taking more time than you had to afford. "F-fuck Hyunjin."

"I'm going to start to move–" Hyunjin began the two dance between you two, lifting herself up and down. You assisted to the best of your ability, but she was in control. "You feel so big..."

You didn't care how awkward it was, the way her lips looked shining and glossy in saliva was far too tempting to pass. Lips smacking against each other as she bounced up and down, two people in the moment slipping away.

Your breathing was getting faster, her breathing was getting shakier. The room was a muggy inferno, Hyunjin didn't necessarily look presentable anymore, hair being swiped and adjusted in every which way. But in all that imperfection, she still looked flawless.

"Just so perfect." You murmured softly against her neck, hand mirroring her placement as it rested on her back. Hyunjin's pace was sweet, inches going in and out of her inviting hole at the rate she decided. "You take every inch so, so well. Just keep going."

She realised time was not of the essence, a finite resource that was rapidly draining. Her speed increased, up, down, up, down. Hyunjin's crotch slammed against yours, the euphonious sounds of skin slapping rang out, a background addition to the chorus of sex.

"Ugh! Fucking hell... I, you make me feel so great, so close to cumming already– like this cock buried in me." The passion was reaching its climax, quicker than desired but it was a tight schedule.

Speaking of tight, Hyunjin was the fucking definition of tight, aided by the orgasmic pleasure being thrust into her. Taking advantage of how close she was you took one of her perky breasts into your mouth, continuing your affectionate assault on her body.

She clamped down with a whine, momentum coming to a screeching halt. Her head deflated, falling onto your shoulder. "Finish the job. I can't move." She chuckled, this angle was ineffective to stay at. So you took an opportunity, standing up. Keeping her in your embrace, slamming in and out of her tight pussy without regard for that same care you had the rest of the day. Just unbridled lust and desire.

You hammered into her, your orgasm was not much further behind. Just a few more eager thrusts and you'd join her, you kept at it. The final overstimulated whines out of Hyunjin's mouth into your ears, there was no second thought. Filling her with your load, spurt after spurt shot into her pussy and she took it happily.

"Sit there a second for me.." You laid her against the chair, she was breathing a mile a minute, there was not an ounce of that elegance you saw when she first arrived. Yet she still looked good–

Oh God.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Why did you do this? Kahei's waiting for you. Fucking disgusting.

Guilt clawed at every fibre of your being, you looked at yourself in the mirror with shame, you monster.

But you didn't look at her like that, "Here." You threw her a tissue, which she barely caught. "Thank you."

You two wiped down, throwing them into the bin and hoping nobody will check it. "I'll help you dress Y/N, if you've not changed I think it'd be super obvious."

"Yeah.."

You slid into your boxers, hastily throwing your trousers back on. Sliding into your shoes, putting the frame of your shirt on. Though that was as far as you could go, Hyunjin's dainty hands took the rest of the work from you. Buttoning each piece of the fabric together refined and elegant. Smoothing out any lumps.

"God, I love you." Your eyes widened, your heart raced. You couldn't believe you said that. You couldn't. There was no way.

"I love you as well." Now it was her time to widen her eyes, impulse was a powerful thing. Driving both of you to say the words that should have never been uttered.

Your mouth went dry, all saliva being gulped down in one. Hyunjin paused her movement, "And I know... Neither of us meant to say that, but it's true. We can't hide that."

She broke away from you, opting to get dressed in silence. Putting back on her dress, sorting out the hair to the best of her ability with just her hand. "Yeah."

"But Y/N, it's just not worth it. I'm not going to be in the country for more than a few weeks, don't do anything rash on feelings. You love Kahei, I can see it more than anyone else probably can. Be with her. Be happy."She couldn't help herself, going back in for another big hug. "Just know, I'll always be a phone call away, don't shut me out this time. Please."

The feeling of tears threatened to reemerge their ugly presence, threatening to spill all over your cheeks. "Y-Yeah. I'll, I'll call. We've been in here too long. Let's hurry." That was your excuse to grant miséricorde to the both of you. Hyunjin continued to help you out, making you look at pleasant as Jiwoo once did.

Your heart hurt with guilt, not just for Kahei but Hyunjin as well. How you've negatively affected two people's lives and one of them doesn't even know it yet. Looking at her in the eyes and lying to her will parrot your grief for years to come.

The two of you looked fine, like nothing ever happened. Emotionally though, that one was harder to ignore, hearts shattered into two. This wasn't closure at all.

It was misery.

--

stream Blooming Wings

[capn-twitchery]

i always try & wiggle events around so twitch & grace both experience it together. but i can't think about this one too long or i'll have to bite tbrough something

how do you make sure you don't lose eachother when time is warping all over the place?? what if you get misaligned?? gotta stay right by eachother's sides to stay at the same time. gotta hold onto eachother when you keep accidentally teleporting to random corners of the map so you don't get lost. gotta use eachother like an anchor

and then it teleports them to the avid horizon with 0 warning. but grace isn't alone this time, (even if he is panicking) & twitch is throwing their coat on him to keep him warm before he even registers where they are. nevermind that it doesn't really fit him anymore, and nevermind that he's protesting that twitch is going to be cold, they're already on the floor with the map trying to get him out of there immediately.

and then they end up in the palace honey basements. twitch has never been there before, but grace has, he'd recognise it anywhere, and he knows it's the worst place for twitch to be. but it's dark enough that maybe if he works fast, he can stop twitch from fully realising where they are. the air smells of honey, but maybe if he tells them to stay still & keep their eyes closed, if he keeps them talking & distracted enough not to touch the cell walls, just for long enough for him to get them home, then they'll be safe

[sunarots]

guys my age ━━━ sakusa kiyoomi

38. merry christmas ♡

"Can I talk to you?"

You look up at Hirano, who's clutching his glass so tight you're shocked it's not broken. After a pause, you nod and turn to Kiyoomi. "Hey, I'll be back in a second." You kiss his cheek before standing from your seat, taking your drink with you.

Hirano leads you through to the empty kitchen, where he takes a seat on one of the stools. "Um, I know things have been awkward between us but... I just wanted to say merry Christmas. It's weird not having you around," he says, tracing the rim of his glass with his finger. He watches you shift the weight between your legs anxiously, trying to think of what to say. "That's all."

"Merry Christmas," you say back, but you can't seem to move from your spot. "Um, did Miya get you anything nice?"

"Yeah, he got me a few things. This shirt." He gestures to what he's wearing before taking a sip of his drink. "How did meeting Sakusa's family go?"

"Oh, really good. He says they like me so I think I'm in." You set down your glass on the counter and push yourself up, admiring Meian's kitchen. "You want to hear something funny?"

Hirano hums, topping up his drink. "What?"

"I thought he hated me." As you speak, you play with the charm of the necklace he gave you. "Until we got home that night, I really did think he hated me and didn't want to be with me."

"I get that. You were going through a rough patch, and that's what everyone thinks during that time." He glances to make sure you're still alone before continuing. "Speaking of that night... Kaede. How have we not spoken about that yet?"

At the mention of her name, you push yourself off the counter and hurry over to sit beside him. "Oh my god! What even happened? Iichi was cheating? I mean, I called it and got called a slut but now isn't the time for I told you so, it's Christmas. But tell me everything!"

"Okay, so we were meant to be having casual drinks and meeting Mei's new friend. We think they're dating but just not ready to say- anyway! Iichi was meant to be working that night and couldn't make it. We get there and Iichi is sitting at a different table with another girl on his lap, tongue down her throat and a hand on her ass. Kaede goes apeshit, smacks the girl with her handbag, and the other girl jumps at her. She breaks Kaede's nose, and we got escorted out. It was crazy. She also forgives you for not being able to get us."

The more Hirano speaks, the more you push your eyebrows together. A heavy sigh slips out as you chug the rest of your glass before starting to top it up. "Um... Okay, I get that Kaede was mad but she attacked the wrong person. Iichi was at fault, not the girl. Also, she forgives me? For putting my boyfriend first over the people who have shit on me? That's insanely insulting." You set down the lemonade and look at your glass before taking one of the plastic shot glasses and vodka. "I'm not sorry."

"That's what friends do, y/n. We shit on each other. That's how it's always been," he argues, not caring about his volume.

You down the shot and pick up your glass, shrugging your shoulders. "Well, if that's what friends do... Maybe I don't want to be your friend anymore." Your voice is soft, part of you hoping he doesn't hear you as you slide out of the stool.

"What? Are you being serious right now?"

All you want is to get back to the table, where the people you feel comfortable with are sat. Instead, you turn back to face him. "I don't owe you anything, Hirano. Not after the way you all spoke about me. When I first said Iichi made a move on me, all of you called me names. I was a slut, whore, bitch, liar. I don't want to be friends with people who call me names and don't believe me. Not to mention how you all spoke about me when I first got with Kiyoomi." You flatten out your dress with your free hand, pressing your lips into a tight line as you continue back to the table.

Kiyoomi looks up as soon as you enter the room, all his focus on you. He frowns, resting a hand on the back of your chair as you sit. "Everything okay?"

You turn to face hime when Hirano enters the room with a scowl, shaking your head. "Um, kind of. I set a boundary so I'm a villain." You can't help but laugh, raising a hand to cover your mouth. "God, this is all so elementary school. I'm okay now, though."

Though he's not entirely convinced, Kiyoomi nods his head and gives you a fleeting kiss. "We can go whenever, okay? Don't feel any pressure to stay," he assures you, but can hardly finish speaking before you're arguing.

"If I have you, I don't need to go anywhere."

He rolls his eyes and sighs. "Thought you'd at least get me out of this." Lightly swatting his arm, you pick up a piece of chicken left on his plate and shove it in your mouth before he can argue. He laughs, wrapping his arm around your neck before pulling you into the conversation with Keiji and Bokuto.

"Do you like the necklace? Omi wasn't sure you'd like it and was really worried," Bokuto asks, resting a hand on Keiji's shoulder and leaning out of his seat to get a better look at the charm.

It's a thin chain connected a circle with vines, diamonds in the leaves. Though he swore it barely made a dent in his bank, you know if you if you were to buy it yourself it would leave you broke. Your fingers find it, carefully holding it up for them to see. "I love it. I'm so scared to break it that I never want to wear it, but I never want to take it off."

"It's beautiful." Keiji smiles, hand on Bokuto's knee.

As you release your necklace and reach for your drink, your eyes are drawn to a new piece of his own jewellery. Your hand flies out, nails digging into Kiyoomi's bicep. "Oh my god! What?"

Bokuto bursts out laughing at your reaction, leaning into Keiji.

"What is it?" Kiyoomi asks, looking between the three of you. It takes a moment for his eyes to fall to the ring, his eyes growing wide. "Congratulations!"

You mindlessly shift out of your seat to sit on Kiyoomi's knee, staring at the gold band in awe. It's then you spot Bokuto's, the excitement becoming too much. "You got married!?"

Bokuto starts laughing even harder, Keiji quickly following and trying to shield his face from everyone. "We did. Last night."

"Ya got fuckin' married?" Miya's out of his seat, running around the table and tripping over almost every chair on the way. He stops beside them and stares at the rings. "And ya didn't think to invite us? I'm so happy! And annoyed. But mostly happy!"

Your amusement grows along with theirs', hand over your mouth to try and contain it. "This is so exciting!" You wrap an arm around Kiyoomi's neck and lean into his side, his hand reaching around to rest on your thigh.

As questions are thrown at the couple, you observe them talk about it with such ease. You rest your forehead against Kiyoomi's and smile, catching the look you're getting from the other side of the table.

Though to everyone else, Hirano looks happy for the pair, you recognise the look he bears. Last time he had that look was a few nights before meeting Kiyoomi, where he'd just broken up with his cheating boyfriend. You and Kaede helped him pour glitter inside the man's car that same night. You turn to Kiyoomi once again and try to catch his attention.

"Can we go?"

masterlist. previous | next

summary. sakusa kiyoomi, middle blocker for the famous msby black jackals, is known for his clean reputation, never drawing attention to himself through scandals. ever since joining the jackals, he's kept himself out of the headlines unless over something good. that is until he drinks a little too much and finds himself in the news for going home with someone he doesn't know.

taglist (CLOSED). @kawoala @kozu-chan @mayyhaps @jayathelostdragon @vi0let-writes @lavender-pink-socks @kodzumicyy @alcyneus @fi-chanwrites @mdmraz @uhsakusa @sophiahearttss @jnfectedz @ascebel @glads-stuff @freakypickle @anonymity-222 @aldebrana @shozuken @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @followingmysunsposts @v3nusplanetofluv @wakashudou @sexylexy12 @nanasrkives @cloudtato @yuminako @soobinsbreadscrumbs @lover-no-lover61 @bloodb3nders @meikstv @sugacor3 @darling-eos @iheartamora @xerophyides @xiaoquanquans @oneanabillion @kitasricefarm @pookalicious-hq @idexmids @hantas-left-elbow @mo072806 @satanscornchip @faesix @lerrainesstuff @i7ghoul @goonforgeto @moonshoon @neuviloved @snoowply

[invega-sustenna]

Chat, I am so incredibly fucked.

My mom REFUSES to work. She is in a major depressive cycle from her bipolar type 2 and refuses to do her billing. She is a (wait for it...) psychiatric nurse practitioner, and while she has been seeing her patients, when she comes home, she refuses to do the paperwork that will get her paid.

She's done this for Two And A Half Fucking Weeks.

That's nearly 2k.

That's rent and utilities.

I just learned that she's been playing hookie tonight, and I don't know what to do.

Guys, I need your help now more than ever. I am not above begging. You want feet pics? I hate feet, but I will pose those arches like my rent is due. Because it is.

I can't afford to do sales right now, but any stone I have is on the table.

Base pay is $25. Do not fight me on this.

Chains/vertebrae/precious gems are all $10. Non-negotiable.

Semiprecious gems/stones that cost more than $20 per strand are $5

All other stones are $2-$3

Spacers or bead caps are a $2 for full usage

Alloy letters are $1.50 per letter. I cannot afford to continue doing sales of $1

Acrylics are still free.

If I missed anything, please DM me or send me an ask.

If I promised you a bracelet, I'm sticking by my word, but I humbly ask that you pay for shipping. I am so incredibly sorry. I feel so ashamed to ask that you pay for part of your gift.

Lastly, donations. Like I said, I am not above begging. This isn't rock bottom, but holy shit, does it feel like it. Anything helps. Even one coffee builds towards utilities and groceries.

I am so lost. It hasn't been this bad financially since I was a child, and my mother was on disability and my father refused to work. I don't want to go back to 1 and maybe half a meal a day. A week without electricity and stuck eating cold Spaghettio's out of a can. Without water for a few days so I'd have to piss in a bucket.

Please. Please help. Even if I can just take care of utilities and groceries, I'll personally talk to my landlord and try to find a way to word it for empathy.

I know this is a huge post, but I desperately needed the attention. Here's my ko-fi.

[bangficsx]

TWISTED TIMES

pair : jk x reader

genre : age gap, uni student, corporate girlie, yearning, apprehensions, smut, tender love, reunion.

note : I can't get these descriptions right so I'll leave it. Just go and read if you guys want. You can also find more of my works on wattpad.

CHAPTER 1

I didn't know I would end up seeing him again so soon. To be honest I didn't think I would ever get to meet him again in this life. I thought if I ever see him again it would be years and years from now.

But there he is, standing just a few metres away from me. We're shamelessly, dangerously staring at each other. His lips might be curved into a smile but his eyes tell a different story. I don't want to see it but I can't help myself from noticing it. After all, I knew him so well like the back of my hand.

"Hey," Miji startles me when she talks standing behind me.

"Oh my god, Hi, congratulations babe. I'm so happy for you guys." I hug her quickly and she reciprocates.

"How have you been? I've literally been so busy these past few months planning the wedding and buying a new house and setting it up and trying to get healthier I've lost touch with so many friends. I'm so glad you came. Jungkook's already busy with the guys huh? Look at him, all grown up." Miji says and I keep smiling.

She walks away after telling me to enjoy myself while I keep looking at Jungkook. He's gotten so much hotter in just a year. His sleeve tattoo is complete when I last saw him he only had a few of them. He has a second piercing on his lip. And he's so much more bulkier now.

Hoseok walks up to him and talks to him but he stays distracted and keeps glancing at me. Hoseok gets frustrated and turns around to see what has him so engaged. He smiles at me when he finds me being the centre of Jungkook's attention.

"Woah, haven't you two had enough of each other in two years?" He teases Jungkook.

I panic internally. This means Hoseok thinks we're still together. I have been living very quietly this past year by which I mean I ended up taking a fully remote position and working from my family's old countryside house.

It was such a nice escape after hustling everyday and partying every weekend for god knows how many years. At some point I realised that why do I do these things if they don't really add any value to my life. I was just wasting away my life while feeling empty inside and trying to just fit in.

Working remotely gave me so much more time. Living in the countryside meant a slower life and healthier habits. There wasn't much I could impulsively spend on. Staying close to nature recharged my soul. I was so filled with creative inspiration that I could work better too. And work didn't feel like a burden on most days. It was just a part of my day and I did so much more except working.

If he has changed, I think I have changed too. Maybe not as much as him. But I believe I'm a different person from the last time I saw him.

I met Jungkook for the first time when he shifted to my apartment floor in his senior year of college. I didn't even know he existed while he used to live just a few floors above me for two years.

But after a very exhausting long shift at work, when I wanted to reach home as soon as possible, when every muscle of my body was aching, and my stomach was grumbling, and my body was begging for rest.

Just when the elevator was about to go up, he came in carrying a stack of boxes blocking my view of his face. He tried to enter but one box fell down. Like a polite human being, I bent down and picked it up. I noticed another box was about to fall down so I took it from him.

And before I knew it I was helping him bring boxes from his old apartment while he told me about why he had to move. He thanked me a thousand times for helping him out.

Then he asked if I wanted to have some homemade rice cakes and before I could deny he had already packed a box for me. And it smelled so good that I couldn't even try to deny it.

And now that I had taken something from him. Like any other polite person I had to give back something to him. So when I made dinner that night and there was some extra I packed them in his box and went over to his place.

I rang the doorbell and waited for him to open. After almost a minute had passed by, he came, shirtless. I still remember how quickly my heartbeat went up, I got goosebumps, I know I would be exaggerating but I almost fainted.

Just imagine this absolutely gorgeous, huge man coming out shirtless in front of you while his body is still covered with water droplets here and there, his hair is slick and wet. And he's staring right at you.

"What brought you here at 10pm? I was scared to death about what went wrong." He sighed in relief as he watched me stand dumbfounded with the box filled with food in my hand.

"I just came to give this," I said slowly. I was panicking, feeling so embarrassed. When I looked up, he just smiled.

"You didn't have to do that. It could've waited till tomorrow." He said. He noticed me feeling uncomfortable with his partial nakedness.

"Sorry, I had to come out mid shower to open the door." He scratched behind his ear getting flustered.

"It's okay. I have to leave now. I really need to sleep." I said nervously and quickly turned around to walk away.

“It's too late, I can't hold you for too long. Do come over whenever you feel like.” He says because he wanted to be friends with his neighbour.

I walked back to my apartment, all I could see in front of my eyes was his naked chest, the way his pants were hanging low on his waist in just the right manner, how his biceps were flexing when he raised his arms and his broad chest and shoulders. Soon I came to my senses and realisation led to guilt about what I was even doing by entertaining such thoughts about a guy who was way younger than me.

He definitely didn't have such intentions towards me. He just saw me as the older neighbour lady. He might definitely not be thinking that I'm single at this age.

Still he was a feast to the eyes. If only I could get just one taste. But I know I'll never be able to afford that.

It wasn't that way for Jungkook at all. He hadn't even realised that I was older. He was attracted to me even before I knew he existed. He had seen me around. And he used to tell me how he really liked how I carried myself, how I talked, how smart I was. His words not mine. Things he had whispered to me when we used to lay in the same bed after having explored every inch of our bodies.

He had always wanted to get to know me. The nature of my work, my ideas, my experiences. He admired me at first then started feeling attracted to me.

He used to feel I was something he could never have. He used to think he was not enough to ever desire me. He saw me as this rich, mature, clever woman. Someone he could never have.

And now he stands there unrecognizable but somehow he still feels like My Jungkook. The one who loved me, who made me feel so seen.

I overheard him talk about how he is a consultant in a big 4 firm now. He has already travelled to four different countries in just six months. He is based in Korea. He got lucky to get a position here.

I almost tear up thinking about how he has achieved his dreams. I know how he worked for all of this. I saw him work on building his profile and studying for his entrance tests to get into a good business school. And I think he actually did.

I am so proud of him. It fills me with so much joy to watch this man he has grown to be. His suit probably costs more than my rent. He always wanted all of this. Nice cufflinks, watches, just things which tell people how hard he works.

I know he doesn't want to just show off. He's a simple guy at heart. It's just hard work that he's addicted to, hard work that he flexes. It's his hard earned money.

He wasn't born with a silver spoon. His parents barely managed to send him to school and he worked so many jobs and maintained a good GPA to get scholarships. I was always wondering how he never got burnt out.

Slowly, we walk closer towards each other, one step at a time. It's just us, nobody else can hear us. He smiles while our eyes are locked.

“Hey,” he whispers.

I look down, smile slightly. I just can't bring myself to smile at him. It's bringing back all those memories. All my doubts, all my fears, all my insecurities.

I can't help myself, can't stop myself from crying out. I quickly run before anyone sees me. He follows behind soon after.

It was a resort in Jeju where Hoseok and Miji were hosting their wedding. The wedding is supposed to take place tomorrow and today guests are just coming in and can enjoy themselves and relax with the various available amenities or just in the lap of nature.

I sit on a bench in the garden. Jungkook watches me from a distance. I know he feels awkward to have to comfort me. So he maintains his distance. I respect it too.

“Actually I think Hoseok and Miji have the idea that we're… still together,” He speaks hesitantly. Pauses.

“So they gave us one bedroom.” He adds.

“Fuck,” I mutter.

“I thought you may have told Hoseok.” I tell him. He denies the idea by shaking his head.

“We can't tell them on their wedding. It'll break their hearts.” I whisper. He agrees.

“It's okay. I just wanted to inform you before you get shocked. Let's pretend we're together for their sake. I'll take the couch.” He says as if it's so easy to pretend you love your ex. Easier said than done.

But I guess if you still have an ember of feelings for your ex, it shouldn't be that hard right?

[potahun]

Loosely, MXDZT S8E7 "Black Gold Heist" x Odonaru (or MitsuOdoNaru):

Backed by zero demand. except my own. To be very honest, I don't remember much of the Black Gold Heist plot anymore, so i'm taking liberties.

Also featuring:

Damon Gant, Chief of the MPD who knows the Director of Public Prosecutors Office, boss of Miles Edgeworth, very well.

Larry, who's been working in the syndicate for almost as long as Phoenix. He's not in as deep as Phoenix, though, and thus also gets more freedom. Currently in the process of scamming Edgeworth via email, which started almost as an innocent prank on Edgeworth's Steel Samurai forum, but Edgeworth is dishing out real money, purely out of solidarity for a "fellow Steel Samurai fan". Eventually, it starts to break Larry's heart a bit

Maya Fey, whom Phoenix saved in an incident involving the death of her elder sister Mia. A variant of Turnabout Sisters, where Phoenix is not yet studying law, doesn't have the means to save Maya in court. Bargaining with the syndicate gets Phoenix involved deeper and deeper in their circles, while Mia's case gets covered up and goes cold. Now 15 years later, Maya really wishes she could save Phoenix somehow.

Maya and Nick live together. At home, Phoenix is in Beanix mode. At work, he shaves and looks and smells good. Apollo doesn't want to know the kind of things Phoenix does. He doesn't count Phoenix's scars but he likes touching them, and Phoenix lets him.

The childhood friendship between Larry, Phoenix and Miles is unchanged, and so is the class trial episode and its impact on Phoenix, but they drifted apart after Phoenix got into trouble. Phoenix no longer feels worthy to see Miles.

Phoenix and Apollo have a situationship ever since working on the heist together, but Phoenix hasn't gotten over Miles and Apollo knows. Provoking Phoenix with a "I'll tell him" once, gets him Phoenix's pistol in his mouth before a grin and a "just kidding, it's not loaded." He doesn't try again. He never tells Miles. He himself doesn't know how he feels about Phoenix half of the time. Does he want to save this guy or punch him?

Phoenix drops by sometimes to see Apollo at work, both to signal to him where to meet for "work", and to tease him.

Apollo knows Miles from mere interactions at the bank... Because Miles Edgeworth drops by the front desk of the bank an unreasonable amount of times, even? One day, Apollo begrudgingly helps Larry set up an account for a fake identity, and barely an hour later, Miles comes to make a transfer to that very account, and he's horrified because my god Larry the grunt from my neighbourhood crime syndicate is scamming the district chief prosecutor. and now he helped him do that. jesus fuck

No matter how you think about it, you don't need to come in person that often to get money out, or make a transfer, or what not. Apollo has the gnawing sensation that Miles is here in the hope of finding someone or watching out for something.

Apollo suspects that there are more people in the bank who are involved in the syndicate and the heist, but he doesn't know why or who. Phoenix won't tell him.

There are also rumours, according to Miles, that the police is cracking down on the syndicate of the district and soon enough, they should feel the pressure. Something is brewing. Apollo doesn't like where he and Phoenix are placed in this picture.

Apollo started work at the bank just to save up for his law studies, but it really went downhill for him when the syndicate got to him, and now he doesn't quite know if he'll ever be out and free again, but he refuses to give up. He's not getting caught in this heist either. And neither is Phoenix if he has anything to say in it.

[tsukisangel]

late nights

characters ꕤ akaashi keiji, gn!reader

cw/tags ꕤ fluff but actually a little sad lmao, established relationship you and akaashi are married

wc ꕤ 936

you finish preparing dinner in perfect time. you smile at the clock. your husband should be here any moment now. you make sure to cover the food so that while you clean, and while he makes his way over, it doesn't get cold. you were especially excited because you didn't tell him you were going to cook. normally you cooked together. however, the final volume of the manga he'd been working very hard on editing was going to be published at midnight. he'd been so stressed and excited over it all. you wanted to surprise him with something nice. you knew he'd appreciate it. he liked cooking with you, so he might be sad on missing out, but he was always happy when you did things for him.

you finished cleaning and sat down, looking at the time on your phone. he should have been here by now, but he still wasn't?

you tried not to worry. it was the day the manga would get published. they were probably working a little late. which was fine. it was a good thing you covered the food!

fifteen minutes later, you received a call from him. this worried you.

you took a breath and answered it. "hey, keiji." you said softly, trying not to sound upset.

"i'm so sorry." he said immediately. "we're swamped, something went wrong, i have no idea what still, and i'm gonna be late. i mean i know i'm already late and i'm so sorry for that, love. i don't even know when i'll be home, hopefully soon. i'll call you with another update in a little bit."

you sighed a bit. "that's okay! i hope you figure everything out." you said.

"thank you. you're perfect. i love you." he said gently.

"i love you." you said quietly.

he was quiet for a moment. he knew you so well. you knew he could tell your heart was breaking at this news. you stared at the food in front of you. "i'll be home soon." he said softly.

"i'll be here." you let out a breath, and then hung up.

if he didn't call back in half an hour, you'd eat. you decided for now to set it all in the oven to keep it warm. then, you went into the living room. might as well keep yourself busy until then?

you actually ended up waiting much longer than thirty minutes. you waited an hour, and that was when he called again. you answered it hopefully. "so, how is everything?" you asked instantly. "how are you?"

he sighed. "i won't be home for a while." he said. your heart dropped. "you should eat without me. i'll call you when i'm on my way, okay?"

"okay." you said quietly. "good luck."

"i love you. i'm sorry."

"it's fine, these things happen." you said, sitting down at the table after grabbing your portion of the food. you could still surprise him with his! he wouldn't be that long. "i love you." he was quiet again. "the faster you go back to work, the sooner you'll be home."

"i know." he groaned softly. "i just-"

"i'm fine, keiji." you said sternly. "i will take my time alone to do things i can't do without you bothering me." you teased him.

he chuckled. "i do not-" you heard his name in the background. "i gotta go, love you."

"love you." you said quickly, and then he hung up.

you ate your food and busied yourself with your phone. he'd be there soon. everything was fine.

you waited, and waited, and waited.

akaashi looked at the time when he finally made it home and groaned. it was nearly one in the morning. the volume was published late, and he missed you bad. he assumed you were already asleep, so all he had to do was grab a quick snack, get undressed, and get in bed. he'd shower in the morning. he was exhausted enough.

he unlocked the door, stepping in and dropping his things off. he removed his shoes, dragging his feet as he moved closer into your shared home.

then he gasped, seeing you asleep on the table. he furrowed his brows and groaned softly. he felt horrible. he felt completely horrible. he went over to you, picking you up and carrying you over to the bedroom. you stirred in his arms, groaning a bit as he set you down in bed. "keiji?" you asked.

he nodded, kissing your head. "go back to sleep." he said softly.

you shook your head, sitting up. "dinner." you mumbled. "oven."

he furrowed his brows. "what?"

"made dinner. ate mine, but yours is in the oven." you yawned.

he froze. you made dinner, and he missed it. his heart shattered. he instantly engulfed you in the biggest, tightest hug he'd ever given you. "i love you so much." he said softly, holding you close. you hugged him back with a yawn, still too sleepy to really know what was going on. "i'm so sorry. i'm so so sorry. i'll make it up to you i promise."

"gonna get cold." you muttered with a whine at how hard he was squeezing you.

he nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. "go back to sleep. i'm gonna eat." he said as you lied back down. "i'll be in bed soon." you nodded, your eyes closing as soon as your head touched the pillow again.

akaashi went into the kitchen, opening the oven and getting the food you made him. he sighed, leaning his head on the table. what did i do to deserve you?

m.list

previous work (overwhelming love) | next work

[foster-the-world]

Add it to the list

I think we can't host guest because of baby boy. My friend and her teenage daughter are staying with us since this morning. He's up two hours past his bedtime (which is already a half hour late because of the summer time). He will not fall asleep. Now I'm very worried about his behavior at school tmrw. Only three more weeks left at this school and I need him to get through without any incidents.

I don't even know how I'm supposed to tell good friends they aren't welcome to stay at our home because our child is too poorly behaved.

Obviously we will make the best of what we can while they are here. But I think we have to say no in the future. Add it to the list of things I love (hosting) that we can't do. He can't really even handle people over for a few hours. We used to have people over all of the time for dinner nights. No more because his behavior makes it too stressful. It sucks for the girls who would love to have friends over. We can give him a screen to stare at but then we pay with worse behavior later.

We've been keeping him separate from the girls as much as possible. He loves them but his behavior is really only manageable/enjoyable when he's the only one at home. Last night my husband took the girls out to eat in Korea town - near their current camp so baby boy could have a calm night at home.

Most invitations we receive one of us takes the girls and one stays home with him. We are going to try and plan all of their after school activities so they aren't home on the same nights. We already mostly do that for the weekends. One of us takes him out and one takes the girls. I need to get more comfortable driving out of the city. That will mean I can take him on hikes more often.

Its depressing but need to come to terms that this is just what our life is. He's a wonderful kid that can't really be around other people in any sort of manageable way. He's fine when its just one of us and him at home. He still requires a lot of redirection but we have fun.

The therapist for myself was fine but she's made me realize there is no solution for his bad behavior. He can't help it. There's no therapy that's going to change it. There's no parenting lesson that will make us change it. We've tried. Nothing's worked. It just is what it is. Everytime I get my hopes up that he's maturing he regresses. Hopefully he'll be better as he ages. So far that hasn't been true. He's fine when's it just him and us at home. He's been doing okay at school. Will see how Kindergarten goes. If not well then I'll stay home with him. If well then that's also very lucky. Many kids can't do school so need to count our blessings that he is managing.

FB groups make me realize we aren't the only ones. Which is a comfort.

At least he's okay with my Mom here. She'll be here for a month. Very much looking forward to the help. At least he's okay when its just us at home. Not everyone gets that from their kid. He's very sweet. He just can't control his body.

Unrelated but feeling so bad for our friend that was in the building during the active shooter. I don't think he's doing very well. They are talking about back in the office on Monday. He's dreading it. I can't imagine.

[melinoestale]

I used to despise a few lovely gods because of a toxic relationship (happy ending, yay)

I just realised something about my religious journey that I wasn't aware of and definitely wasn't expecting to happen now. This is a trauma recovery journey for me, I'm about to open my heart here, so please be nice!

I started to worship the gods five years ago, but it took me time to build proper kharis and have the ability to communicate with them. The moment I started to get their messages back, I decided to join a community of pagan Spanish speakers.

I fell in love with a girl there, who said she also worshipped the theoi and other entities, which is totally fine. My relationship with my gods began to change the moment we became friends and even more when we started dating. She didn't believe in devotion, she began to tell me she was being attacked by some gods and that led me to see and treat the gods differently.

I truly believed some gods like Apollo or Zeus were the enemy just because of her. That's extremely disappointing to me, extremely sad too. I am so so so so sorry for believing in her to the point of allowing being pushed around towards the edge of my own religion.

We were together for two years and I ended up despising other gods like Hermes, but not as much as I despised myself. I broke up with her two years ago, best decision ever. The gods were actually warning me for a while, but I decided to ignore them on the matter because I was so manipulated at that point that I believed they were trying to hurt me. I'm talking about my closest ones like Melinoe or Persephone! My ex had "beef" with them both, specially with Melinoe because she said she had a lot of nightmares when we fought lol (thanks, Melinoe).

After the break up I ended up in therapy and taking antidepressants, hating myself and with a few mental disorders. I'm totally fine now thanks to my therapist :')

My relationship with the gods changed drastically after coming back home (I was stupid enough to move 2.5k km away from my family to be with her). I didn't pray, I didn't do offerings, I couldn't connect with the gods and I almost lost my faith for real. Until summer last year, so I spent like 9 months losing my faith.

Melinoe called me and when I say this I don't mean it like "I'm the chosen one, she loves me a lot, I am the best Melinoe worshiper in the world", no. I have a really strong kharis with her, my main practice dances around her as I'm a medium and I'm dedicating my life to death.

So she called me and she was like "girl, get up, it's time to work". I wasn't expecting her to come as I was pretty lost in life at that point, but I needed it so much. I was basically healed from some trauma caused by the relationship with my ex (such as my ED btw), so it was time to heal the religious ones!

The start was slow and there was a faith test that is so funny that I'll talk about it later but just so you know: I lost a plane in the middle of Belgium and I ended up in Paris for a night. That was the first time I prayed since I had lost my faith and it worked!

Melinoe and I started to work again daily and it was great! After that, I've been healing my relationship with other gods such as Hermes, Apollo and Persephone (my ex called her childish and threw dirt at her, so I doubt at that point too and could talk about the Queen in front of her). But my biggest issue was with Zeus :/

I have nothing against him, but my ex claimed he attacked her almost every night for two years (I was stupid to believe in her). But these past few DAYS when I think about him, I don't feel anger or disgust like I used to. I see him as he is now, finally.

I am healed from my religious trauma.

That was the last thing I couldn't make peace with, but now I feel calm around the idea of Zeus existence. It's so weird to say it and so weird that I was disgusted by him when he hasn't done anything to me. This is also a public apology to Lord Zeus!!! I know he's not mad at me because they really don't care about things like this, but anyway I feel so bad that I need to apologise :')

I'm sorry, king Zeus for all the disrespect, for the bad words, for supporting systematic the unkind comments of my ex girlfriend towards you and for not being able to see the reality. I'm truly sorry from the bottom of my heart.

I'm so happy right now after the realisation that I needed to share it and encourage people to heal from religious trauma <3

Thanks for reading, in case you've read it this far. Have a wonderful day, may the gods bless you! 🤍

[autism-autobot]

Flower of a Poisonous Seed Part 🎉100🎉:

Part 99:

TW: swears, fear of missing out, grief,

Nezha caught a glimpse of an orange floof with gray swirls on the windowsill as he and Li Jing drove up to the Demon Bull Palace.

He knew who the floof was, and was unbearably excited to be so near him.

Jing: *puts his arm in front of Nezha* If you try jumping out of this car, so help me gods!

Nezha: *scoffs* I wasn't gonna!

Jing: You had that look on your face like you'd jump into traffic if it got you there sooner.

Nezha: I would not!

Jing: Mhm, doubt it.

~~~

Wukong had been sleeping on the windowsill for Buddha knows how long so Nezha gently knocked on the window, just hard enough to wake Wukong up. Once he opened his eyes, Nezha waved at him which sent Wukong practically leaping to open the door for him.

And Jing, he definitely missed Jing too.

Yep.

SWK: *happy chirps and squeaks*

Nezha: I missed you too my darling!

SWK: *tail wagging intensifies* *lifts arms demanding uppies*

Nezha: *grunts as he picks up Wukong* Woah! You're doing amazing at gaining weight back. I'm gonna have to start working out more if I want to keep up with you. Great job Wukong!

Jing: Can we... go inside?

Nezha: Oh! Yes! We need to load your things into the van, don't we?

SWK: Yeah! We get to go home!

~~~

Demon Bull King was happy to assist with the luggage. Red Son was practically joined to Nezha at the hip since they greeted each other. The former was talking sporadically about the various camps he went to and all of the shenanigans he got roped into, whether he wanted to or not.

Wukong clung to Nezha's back, tied to him using Nezha's sash, trying desperately not to nod off again. It was well after dinner, about time for bed, but they weren't home yet so he couldn't let himself sleep!

Nezha: *holds Wukong's hand on his shoulder* Will you be coming home with us, Peony?

RS: No, I have work in the morning. Best to just stay here.

Nezha: Oh! You got a job while I was away? Or are you and your parents setting up the food stall again?

RS: I made a job for myself, and two others too! We're making mobility devices for cheap like I told you I wanted to.

Nezha: That's amazing! I'm happy for you. When are your working hours?

RS: It's not a rock-solid schedule, but we try to work four days a week. Tuesday through Friday.

Nezha: Will you visit us on the weekends?

RS: That's the plan!

Nezha: Thank goodness. I missed being with you too. Almost as much as Mr. Dreamland here.

RS: Aw, thank-

Nezha: Also you're grounded for that stunt you pulled with the dragons.

RS: Dang it.

~~~

*on the car ride home*

Nezha: *tries scratching Wukong's head only to be met with the feeling of the helmet beneath Wukong's floof bun* Oh. Forgot about the new accessory.

Jing: It's temporary... right?

Nezha: Yes, Wukong will heal given time. This is just to keep his skull from healing in a misaligned position.

Jing: Thank goodness. And every doctor has been treating him well?

Nezha: Yes, we've had no incidents.

Jing: Good.

Jing: You doing alright? I know this may be a lot to take in.

Nezha: *somberly* I'll be fine.

Jing: You convince very few with your words, Son. What's on your mind?

Nezha: I... I missed so much...

Nezha: I worked tirelessly to nurse Wukong back to health. So much so that it changed the entire course of my life! And yet...

Nezha: And yet I hardly saw the fruits of my labor of love. I missed being there for the tube removal, missed taking him to the radiologist and being with him for that MRI.

Nezha: The MRI that confirmed that Wukong is indeed healing in ways we never thought he would. Sure I made it to see the results of the scan but Ao Guang of all people was there for him longer than I was!

Nezha: *slamming his fists in his lap with each word* AO FUCKING GUANG!!!!!

SWK: *picks his head up* ????

Nezha: Nonono, shh, shh, shh! Go back to sleep dearest, it's okay!

SWK: *not convinced in the slightest*

SWK: *shares his blanket with Nezha* *lays his head back down*

Nezha: ...

Nezha: Thank you Mushroom. Sweet dreams.

*about five minutes of silence pass*

Nezha: Worst of all... I mean, look at him...

Nezha: I can hardly feel the bones beneath his skin anymore! That's not a bad thing, but-

Jing: You wish you had been there.

Nezha: More than anything!

Nezha: And yet it was under the Demon Bull Family's care that he made such improvements. He even had to start taking more medicine because his new weight deemed it not enough!

Nezha: Was I doing something wrong? Did I overlook something that was so obvious to them? *sighs* Gods... I hardly know where to go from here. Everything's changing.

Nezha: What do I do?

Jing: If I may give advice?

Nezha: *pessimistic* Sure, go ahead.

Jing: Whenever I needed to leave your mother behind to go do my duties, when I came home, I'd take her out to one of our favorite places and do the things we always love to do together. She always loved it.

Jing: Time may pass, but my dedication hasn't and I know you are the same.

Jing: Do the things you loved to do with her- him! With him... You married your best friend, did you not?

Nezha: Yes, yes I did.

Jing: A best friend, I believe, would never change so much that they wouldn't like you suddenly. And if they changed, so can you.

Jing: It's like a battle plan after a minor defeat. Regroup, rethink, communicate, research, replan. And then?

Nezha: Get back out there.

Jing: You two can adapt. You have already been through circumstances that would devastate most couples for years! If anyone can recover from a long time spent apart, it's you two. I may not understand everything about your dynamic but I know that much.

Nezha: Thank you, Father. I'll do just that.

~~~

Wukong bolted upright in his seat. The Li men were startled at Wukong's sudden wakefulness and hollering.

SWK: WE'RE HOME!!!!!!

SWK: WE'RE HOME WE'RE HOME WE'RE HOME-

Nezha: *covering his ears and smiling at his excitement*

SWK: *gasps* Have you eaten dinner yet? Did you get any sleep? I could make pasta while you kick your feet up and rest! You probably worked so hard during your training, you must be exhausted!

SWK: Don't worry, I'll get the luggage and make dinner for you. Peony made us new aids so you won't have to worry if you can't move much-

Nezha: *laughs* I'm okay! I may need to rest a bit but-

SWK: Don't worry, I'll fix up the bed for you!

Jing: Wukong, it's almost three in the morning. We had dinner and it's not time for pasta!

SWK: *leans forward to look at him* Every time is pasta time.

Jing: *laughs hysterically* If you say so, son.

~~~

True to his word, Wukong set up their bed just the way Nezha liked it. Jing refused to let him take the heavy luggage inside, opting to do it himself and using Wukong's pasta plan to distract him.

SWK: *from inside the house* Daffodil???!!! How do you turn the stove on???!!!

Jing: Maybe letting him handle dinner was a mistake.

SWK: *after trying repeatedly to turn it on* You know what? Fuck this shit, I'm microwaving chicken tenders!

Nezha: *laughs* Maybe not that many things have changed after all.

Jing: How often does this happen?

SWK: Where are the plates????!!!!

Nezha: At least once a week.

~~~

At five in the morning, the two were snuggling in bed, watching their favorite comfort shows and eating half-burnt half-frozen chicken tenders.

Guess today would be a voluntary nesting day. Neither one complained. As long as they were together, nothing else mattered.

~~~

Nezha: You're not making pasta!

SWK: I can handle it!

Nezha: NO!

Part 101:

Masterpost

@weaverpop @istopaskingmemate @ainnur @cutvdo @vivyainou @poisonblob @delighteddistractions555

Well guys, the end July is here!

*laughs evilly*

[somegrumpynerd]

Remaining kitties for the garden

Here are all the kitties who didn't make it to the website and their pet screens c:

^The regular kitties (The nothing option would make Error show up and just kinda glare at everybody lol and there would be mirror and paper bag options to see Dust and Horror again)

^The winter kitties (The snow option would bring out Blue and Dream, the christmas lights brought Fresh and the stocking was Ink)

^The special pairs (I don't think any of these made it to the polls lol but putting out a bed would bring Horror and Dust together, putting out a rainbow cushion would bring Color and Killer (this was how you would finally be able to pet him) and putting down comic books would bring Epic and Cross, who would finally purr when pet with his bestie)

[cupcakewebkinz]

You know, I was thinking about an idea I had then realized just how angsty it would be on one side and how much fluff it would be on the other and I'm curious about other people's ideas too ngl

So like, I was toying around with the idea of Shanon coming back to Gardenview and snatching up the loser lesbians and bringing them home with her to save from... Whatever happened. Shanon has no idea, she was never allowed to know, so she just has two VERY traumatized toons now. She'll know how to keep Shelly entertained and happy, she was ALWAYS with Shelly, but I highly doubt she'd know how to keep Vee in check at all.

Vee would probably quickly spiral into a mental crisis about it too, as now everything has been destroyed in her eyes. Nobody remembers her gameshows because they ended years ago, nobody remembers her because Gardenview closed years ago, nobody's interested in learning about her as she's outdated technology to them now. She'd be alone, only able to quiz Shelly now, but she's heard all her questions and knows all the answers by now. She'd probably start self isolating because she just doesn't know what to do with herself, lashing out at Shanon because she genuinely doesn't understand why people aren't fans of her anymore and wants to blame someone except herself. She would be such a wreck and probably have major beef with any new technology Shanon brings home because it replaced her in her mind. Vee is now just... Vee. She's not a celebrity any more, she's not loved by anyone except the toon handler who took her in and her now popular dinosaur girlfriend, and she would not have a clue what to do about it.

Shelly would most likely have the opposite problem, she looks like a living toon just wandering around like she's a common sight to see - of course people would notice! Kids would ask her about fossils and she'd happily tell them all about what she is and their minds would be blown by how much she knows, she'd probably be asked to play by kids who think she looks really neat and be dragged to the sandbox to 'fossil hunt' whenever Shanon takes them to the park. Shanon very much would hide plastic fossils in there too just to see Shelly smile, like she used to before her museum shut down. She'd be such an interesting sight to see that she'd get stared at, often asked what she actually is, and probably would be the talk of the town for a while. Eventually everyone would know that Shelly is just there to have fun, don't bother her too much, but at first everyone would be so shocked by a living breathing toon they'd swarm the poor thing! I'm sure Shelly would be just a little irritated by the constant unwarranted attention and stares, but so happy she's no longer forgotten.

Their roles would reverse is what I'm getting at here. It gives so much Vee angst to work with and Shelly comfort... I am brainrotting over this idea if that's not obvious