#so i'm like 'a new name will not make things different'

[clockwayswrites]

Birdritch, part 49

masterpost. please no editing or concrit <3 I'm on new medications for my apparently fibromyalgia and maybe lupus and they're kicking my ass with fatigue and brain fog. I didn't want to make y'all wait too long though if I could help it. <3

The ornate grate cracked and splintered under Danny’s talons—hands—talons. He was sharp and soft and feathers and skin and none of it mattered. He would become the Void itself if it would mean saving his hummingbird.

The thing beyond the grate struggled even as one arm—leg—claw pinned it to the ground. It struggled, but Danny did not relinquish his grip, even as he lashed out at the next thing. Those unnatural things—no longer living but beyond the call of death—the stench of them bit at Danny. Their blood boiled on the stone ground. Their horrific not cores shattered under his grip.

He ended them.

He would end all of them for what they had taken.

He had their scent now. They would not escape him. He would hunt down every last one of them for even daring to think that they could lay a finger on one of his people. He would show them the Death that now watched over Gotham. And he would end them.

The things were relentless. They threw themselves at certain death without hesitation. The ones that made it past Danny’s arms—legs—claws tore at his skin. Their gold talons cut into him. His green blood splattered on the stone ground. His screams shattered the air.

But he was relentless too.

He cut through creature after creature after creature. And then…

…and then he found something living.

There was no not core to crush under his claws, only flesh and bone and lungs. It was done before he even registered the difference. Good.

A second living screamed in the corner, curled and clutching at a golden mask. Phantom stalked closer.

“False bird. Liar. Thief! You took what is mine. For what?!”

“Th-the Court of Owls rules Gotham from shadowed perch!” the masked thing stuttered. Ugly, hysterical laughter bubbled up under their words. “Take care, beware, or we will send a Talon for your head!”

“It is my talons now that see over Gotham!”

The laughter bubbled up in one last gurgle of panicked life and then was gone.

In the quiet of the cavern, the only sound drips and drops, there was a wheeze.

“Hummingbird,” Danny whispered.

He rushed towards the sound. Extra limbs disappeared, his form shrunk, his other faded as he moved—fell away like molted feathers. He had a hand again—though tipped with talons and dusted with feathers—as he reached out and touched Tim’s pale cheek.

“Hummingbird?” Danny asked, the name a quiet payer. “No, no, no… Tim, sweetheart. Baby bird, you have to keep breathing. You have to keep living.”

His fingers fluttered over the knife stuck through his humming bird’s chest. The thing that Tim’s life was bleeding out around. The thing that was taking what little time Tim had left…

“…time. Time! Tim, come on sweetheart, hang on, okay? I’m going to… I’m going to fix this. Just stay alive.”

Danny turned and carved a scar through the air, splitting reality into swirling green. He ripped the portal open, large enough that as he carried Tim through it, cradled so carefully in this arms, that nothing bumped or jarred.

It would be alright, they just needed more time.

[bobbiereynolds]

Thunderbolts Preference: Finding Out About Sexual Trauma

A/N: Idk. I try to move on, but sometimes I can't and idk what to do with it besides writing. It's nice, putting it down, even for a little while. Stupid lol. I'm always here if anyone wants to talk 🖤🖤🖤🖤

THUNDERBOLTS REQUESTS ARE OPEN / The Boys version

Bucky sort of assumed what happened. Not every detail, but it's not unheard of in these kinds of situations. The brainwashing, the handlers, the "renting" for your special skills, etc. He doesn't talk about it, but he's been in similar situations. You're reactive when people touch you, pushing them away, maintaining your space. You want to be with Bucky, you love him, but everything holds you back and makes you panic. He reminds you he'll go at your pace, that he could never grow angry or impatient. He wants you to feel safe. You confide in Bucky, late one night, that you fear, despite what you know, that Valentina will do the same thing. She would offer you to people on a silver platter and never look back, never stop until you escaped, whatever that meant. He assured you he'd never let that happen, but you've been promised before. Whoever is in charge, whoever puts together these teams, they always want more than they have. They get greedy, wanting more than what they have, and they'll do anything to get it. He makes sure you're looking at him when he promises, no matter what, it will never happen again. He doesn't bring it up to Valentina, but he warns her not to overstep with you. She, for once, follows orders, but she doesn't like it.

Alexei hurts. To think someone could do that to the person he loves, the person he worships, makes him see red. Immediately, he is angry. Vengeful. He wants names. He wants to hunt them down and make them pay. He is a super soldier, after all, he could do some serious damage. It's not uncommon, this kind of reaction. Whereas it's typically annoying and you end up comforting the other person, calming them down, Alexei is different. He realizes his reaction was unhelpful and apologizes instantly. His anger should not cloud the emotions you're feeling. He is no stranger to these sorts of stories. He's heard about the from the Red Room, from Lena, but also other experiments, other lab rats and assassins and so-called heroes. They take advantage of their subjects in every way possible. After you tell him, he's a lot more careful about touching and asking what is/isn't okay moment by moment. If something or someone triggers you, he's the first to talk you down, to hold you when you want him to and to give you space when you need it. Together you're trying to navigate this new relationship with old wounds. You're frustrated by yourself, by your fear, but Alexei assures you: there is nothing wrong with you. Nothing.

Yelena does her best to calm you down. It all came rushing back after a training session. Someone grabbed you, held you down, and it made you feel back in time. You fought them off, screaming at them, becoming hysterical, before storming out. You hide in your room, unable to calm yourself down. You know you're being ridiculous, that they never meant to hurt you, to do what they did, but you couldn't help it. Yelena has seen this happen tons of times. First with her peers in the Red Room, but even after. People in your line of work, your profession, have histories. She knocks gently before letting herself in. Your eyes are bloodshot and you can't stop crying. Normally you'd shut everyone out, but this time you allow her to be here for you. She loves you, you know this, therefore she would never judge you, even if you feel like you're being "crazy". She speaks softly, reminding you to take deep breaths, her hand in yours, squeezing it to bring you back to reality. She's careful with how much contact you two have. She doesn't want to hurt you any more. That's when you tell her and, in return, she tells you her own past. She wants you to know someone understands. She promises not to tell anyone, knowing how others can look at people differently. You thank her a million times, but she shrugs it off. No big deal, not for someone she loves.

Ava notices you've been having a lot of nightmares, especially since you got together. Now that your relationship has moved from platonic to romantic, you're jumpier. You avoid her even though you hate not seeing her and avoid questions like the plague. You admit to her, very quietly in the dark, another night without sleep, that you were sexually abused. That you thought you put in the work and moved on and everything was fine, but it wasn't. It's not. Being in a new relationship puts you on edge. You know she would never do what they did, she would never hurt you, but you can't help but worry. Panic and fear run your nervous system. Every time she tries to go in for a kiss or a hug your brain screams at you to run, to get away. Ava is more than understanding. She admits she might've thought it was that, or at least something similar. She makes sure you're looking at her when she tells you she would never, never, hurt you like that. That she wants you to feel safe in your relationship. If that means doing things differently, moving slower, avoiding certain triggers, then that's what you'll do. Together. You don't have to worry about Ava telling anyone, she knows how hard it was to talk about in the first place. She loves you. That's the most important thing.

John thinks you're being cold. And maybe you are, but you have a valid reason. It's your third date and you haven't reciprocated anything. He leans in to kiss you and you freeze, making up some excuse before leaving. You avoid him in the tower and maintain a distance that causes a lot of hurt. Finally, he goes to you and says, not a kindly as he thinks he is, that if you don't like him, if you hate him, then just say so, but stop dragging him around and playing with his feelings. His tone is angry and his voice was raised, even slightly, but enough to make you panic. Very quietly, unable to look him in the eye, you admit that you do like him, you like him a lot, but you're petrified. Scared of what? He asks and that's when you tell him. Not all the gory details, but enough to show him you weren't trying to hurt him. You make him promise not to tell anyone and, for once, he has a seriously expression. Immediately he apologizes and tells you how much he likes you. If you don't want to date him, that's okay, but if you do, he wants you to know he'll go as slow as you need. He doesn't want you to be scared of him, or dating in general. You feel like you don't deserve a second chance, but when you tell him you'd like a redo of your dates, he grins like an idiot. Whatever you need, whatever boundary you need to set, he'll do it.

Bob, underneath, falls apart. On the outside he is caring and thoughtful and (unfortunately) riddled with anxiety. Underneath all that, he hurts for you so much. He knew a lot of people in life, but also various rehabs and support groups and group therapies, that had been sexually abused. It's not as uncommon as people might think (hope). Your relationship is still new. It was only a few days ago you called him your boyfriend for the first time. You are so sorry, you wanted to be open from the start, but it's not easy to talk about and you didn't want to scare him away. He tells you you have nothing to apologize for, that he would never, ever think of you any differently because of what happened. He doesn't ask for the gory details or anything, but from then on he is careful as to when he shows his love/affection and how. He's constantly checking in and asking if xyz is okay. The first time you set that boundary you're terrified. Terrified you'll hurt him, or that he'll get angry, or that he won't listen, but Bob would never do any of those things. He's receptive and patient and doesn't care what your relationship looks like, only that you're both comfortable. That you're both happy.

[itti-the-mouse]

i'm gonna dissect this one piece by piece.

"Specific kind of sad" get real. argument dismissed. i disagree. we're moving on. that sounds a bit harsher than i intended but whatever, i'll get it eventually.

you're right, you never said those words in that order. what you said instead was this:

which is the same thing, but without the baggage of the word "generic" attached to it.

simultaneously, i don't believe this refutes my claim that a different sad song could have been used, nor that a new song using the legend leitmotif could have been made instead.

so, "Several Use Cases"; yes, the song could in fact be used for several different scenarios; it's somber and could be used for a myriad of somber moments.

but it hasn't.

if we believe that the title of the song isn't enough (which i believe it is), then the title is still relevant in the third instance, because it is relevant in the other 2, in which the song is playing for a girl talking about how she feels/felt lost.

there's also this tweet by toby fox, which showcases a rendition of lost girl over an image of Susie, Noelle, and Ralsei. those three characters, as of chapter 4 are the characters the song as played for.

they're the lost girls (as a comment on my other post put it)

but i want to continue this part of the argument further, because all of the sudden i have the sudden desire to prove that it's not the title of this song that's important, but rather that song titles are (or can be) important in general.

Rouxls Kaard's battle theme is titled "It's pronounced 'Rules'", a title that makes no sense unless you consider the meta aspect (IE - that no one who played the game could pronounce his name right back when it was just chapter 1)

there's a song in undertale called "it's raining somewhere else." it plays when sans speaks with us in mtt resort. a song in deltarune chapter 4 plays during the rain, it's titled "the place where it rained" and features identical piano chords to Raining Somewhere Else, but lacks sans' leitmotif.

people are, of course, using the titles of these songs to make a connection to undertale, and/or as evidence that the sans we see in deltarune and the sans we see in undertale are the same person.

and i don't think using the song title as evidence in this instance is silly at all.

then again, the raining songs only play once.

but i personally believe that because the titles of songs are important, or can be important, that the use of the title Lost Girl as evidence of transfemininity when it is played for ralsei, regardless of leitmotif or whether or not the song has played before, despite the fact that the previous uses of the song also provide evidence in favor of the theory do to playing for lost girls, is also not silly.

if the song did play for some other sad moment, or for a provably cisgendered guy, then i might be more willing to believe that the use of this song's title as evidence is shaky, but it hasn't. it is a song called Lost Girl, that plays for lost girls.

ones last thing; circumstantial evidence is still evidence. and saying "it's circumstantial evidence" like an ace attorney villain is not exactly a good position to hold in my opinion ^^;

thankies :3

Transfem Ralsei Masterpost!

this post will have been in the drafts for a while before i post it. it's a post detailing all of the times i could find in my most recent playthrough when ralsei gave off serious transfem energy.

bare in mind that this is only all of the transfem ralsei moments that i could find! if you know something i missed, feel free to add it!

even with that in mind, this is still a pretty long one, so get ready for a ride.

Chapter 1

fun fact! when i first played, i actually gave her the white ribbon because she had lower max HP than "me" (Kris), and was rewarded with this dialogue, where she asks if we think it makes her pretty.

yes. i think you're pretty. i also love you so much i might explode, but we'll worry about that later.

i feel like the use of the word pretty instead of cute is important.

i'm counting this. like, you can't just call a local "boy" an egg multiple times and not expect me to count it.

IT'S IN QUOTES

this was in response to us drawing a schematic for a sexy machine, but... come on.

i've been pranking kris and their allies by showing the wrong equipment to them to get all the dialogue. this was susie's reaction to the Dainty Scarf. my reaction to that, was, of course, "what's a doily?"

So i looked up "doilies" and

ah! i have seen these before, but i did not know their name. it may seem a little silly to count the material a scarf is made of as evidence of transfemininity, but i always considered these things feminine.

and then, there's this...

possibly THE most important scene in chapter 1

i feel it worth pointing out that it was susie who convinced her to take off her hat.

she's so pretty...

but more importantly, this is her first step out of the closet. finally brave enough to show us what she really looks like. with susie's help.

and so many of us, cruelly, told her to put the hat back on. that she looked better when she was hiding her true face.

and i am so... so sorry.

there's more to ralsei taking off her hat. ever since she made this first step, she has, (assumedly) inadvertently entered an unending war against the very game itself.

Chapter 2's fireworks...

the Battle UI...

and the legend of tenna...

continue to depict Ralsei with her hat on, despite the change, and progress, she's made. But when we're actually looking at her, we can only see her real face.

i will get back to ralsei's hat when it becomes relevant again in chapter 4. for now, we'll briefly step into...

Chapter 2

chapter 2 doesn't have as much as chapter 1, but what it does have is pretty big.

The Mannequin:

(oh, the stammer. somebody free her...)

now, i can potentially see the argument that simply thinking that the dress the mannequin wears is cute doesn't mean anything, but even if you do think that; the dress itself is important, and [this] post goes into detail why. reading that post is now homework, you have to read it before you can continue reading this one.

now that you're back we can continue. next is, (and everyone reading this knew this one was coming) during the acid tunnel of love, when prompted to say that it's nice that ralsei is ralsei...

this is how she responds.

regardless of context, this is bursting with transfem energy.

also there's this

...pipis.

not sure if that counts for anything, but i figured i might as well.

they're even called eggs.

Chapter 3

this is her choice of action when introducing herself to the audience. a very specific bow; a curtsy. a very interesting choice!

which could mean nothing. anyway, look at this new armor i got!

there are 3 different colors of ribbons in the game (so far). the white and pink ribbons can be combined at the smithy to make the twin ribbon.

the last one is the blue ribbon.

thanks to the twin ribbon, all of the colors of the trans flag can be worn at once!

her reaction shortly after learning that susie switched controllers.

(i also tried with all my might to get her to wear the 2nd bow on this board. but no matter how hard i tried, i could not throw her onto it...)

Chapter 4

let's take another brief asside to talk about ralsei's hat.

ralsei's hat was taken away by the wind, lost to the sky, we will never see it again.

she will never be able to hide her real face again.

she will not ever be able to step back into the closet. there is no turning back. we can only move forward now.

this is who she is now. she's accepted it, so have the lightners, and all of the people of castle town. if there's someone who can't accept that, then i don't think i trust them.

EGG MENTIONED

---

okay! so, posts have an image cap of 30, and i'm getting close to that, so i have to wrap this up.

we HAVE to talk about ralsei's room.

there's something about the way this is worded... this weird "purpose" talk. it calls fourth certain feelings, brings to mind certain images. this desire to be useful to others for nothing in return seems all too common in transfems. including myself.

in this same conversation, she asks kris if having feelings is selfish. okay, that's not the exact wording

she says it like this, and the way she interrupts herself, it feels like she's "correcting" herself by striping herself of individuality. making herself smaller.

she is so trapped inside herself, and her roll as the "prince" that anything she does that deviates from that roll is percieved as "unnatural"; a problem that needs to be hidden and locked away.

i feel it's important to mention that it is once again primarilly susie who helps ralsei take these steps.

she was the one who told ralsei to drop that mysterious cloak.

she was the one who told ralsei to drop her diguise.

she was the one who told ralsei to eat the cake.

she was the one who told ralsei to get nice things for herself.

and she's gonna be the one who tells ralsei that she doesn't have to be a prince.

that room has one more, decisive, piece of evidence.

it's not an action taken, or words said. it's the song that plays.

Lost Girl

i... cannot stress the sudden rush of emotions when i heard this playing there. it stopped just being a headcanon to me at that moment.

the naysayers can't exactly keep saying "he's just a gnc guy" after that and expect me to take them seriously.

there's... more, actually. that i'm not able to fit in this post. i've pretty much hit the image cap. but the ending of chapter 4 also hits pretty hard.

[mizaryrottmnt]

"I lost it"

TW: Loss of a child / perinatal mourning

"She was alone. In the bathroom. She stared at a spell and a magical symbol drawn on the palm of her hand in complete silence. A quick glance at her reflection in the mirror in front of her was all she could manage before reciting an incantation.

After a minute, the symbols on her hand glowed for a moment, giving her a glimmer of hope before disappearing in front of her. And she understood immediately what it meant. Because it wasn't new. But this time was different. Because her body was telling her that she was indeed pregnant and that their first test with Draxum had been successful. They were excited, happy as never before. But it didn't last long because... Today, she had lost it. She had lost that little hope. Again.

And she was motionless. She couldn't move except stare at her reflection in the mirror. And the voice continued in her head, whispering:

Your fault

Your fault

Your fault

Your fault

Again...

And again...

And again...

Until someone opened the door and called her name in a calm voice.

Donatello.

Her pillar, her rock. If he weren't there, she would be gone.

And she could have hurt herself when her body lost its energy and fell to the ground. He caught her and sat them down together on the ground, calling her name softly even though he was so worried about her.

"Unity? Are you okay? Should I call Leo or Drax-

"...Lost..."

"What?"

"I lost him... Donnie, I lost him. I lost him. I lost our baby. I-I killed them! In m-my body! I did it!" I-"

she said as her breathing became too rapid and ragged.

"Stop! Shh... Stop, please... You're not at fault.

"Stop! Shh... Please stop... You're not at fault. "I-Without this body... You could have..."

"I don't want this without you. It's not 'me' without 'you'..."

He let a short silence pass. Before he had to say it.

"It's okay... Unity, it's okay. I don't blame you. I love you."

And those words broke his heart like a piece of ceramic tile falling from an already shaky building. Tears instantly flowed from his eyes and his body began to tremble violently. He hugged her tightly and whispered sweet nothings. The kind of words you say when you're helpless and want to try everything anyway. Because Donatello loves to fix things. But his wife's fragile body... He can't. He simply can't help her. It's "useless." And as the days go by, he can only look at her and hope she hasn't shattered into a thousand pieces... Like today.

"I'm trying..." Donnie, I assure you, I'm trying. Every potion, every magic trick... Every artifact. But it doesn't work. I'm defective. I'm...

He cut her off right after that.

"No. Please, no, never say you're defective again. It's not true. You're perfect. Just the way you are."

"But I-"

"You don't have to carry this burden alone, shooting star... You don't have to be perfect with me. You're not one of my tech projects." You are my partner."

As he speaks, listening to his beloved being so broken, so sad, tears begin to roll down his cheeks too. And he holds her tighter in his arms. As she continues to cry over her pain. Their loss.

Tonight, he will carry her until she falls asleep in their bed. He will watch her sleep and make sure she gets more than six hours of sleep. Because he knows she needs it. She needs rest. She needs peace. And maybe he does too."

~~~~~~~~~~~

It's a part of the story of them I never showed. Before having Stella and Vincent, they tried for 5-6 years. Unity's body is really weak next to Donatello's so most of the time she could be pregnant or it didn't end well. It was a sad moment of their life. And this one I just posted was one of the hardest. Because it was the first time she had a baby this long (almost a month). It just crushed her harder this time.

But after that and almost stop trying, they finally had Stella, and just before her birth, Vincent (remember he's adopted)

Special thank you for @d-choppy who helped me a lot with this drawing<3

[alisonwritesimagines]

Motherly Visit ~Batmom Imagine~

Summary: You miss your son as he spends time with his new team.

Author’s Note: I've never seen Young Justice but I'm binge watching it now and I have thoughts.

BatFamily Masterlist

Reader’s Pronouns: She/Her

Warnings: none

Do not repost this anywhere!

"Another mission done! Time to hit the showers," Wally said happily.

"Um M'gann, did you leave the ovens on or something?" Artemis asked as they could smell food the closer they all got to the kitchen area.

Everyone got into positions as they walked over to the kitchen area.

"Wait! Stand down!" Dick yelled as he stood in between his team and the stranger who stood in the kitchen. She didn't seem fazed over the fact that the teenagers were about to fight her.

"Who is she?" Kaldur asked.

"She's my mother," Dick said.

"Your mother?" Zantanna and Artemis asked in shock.

"Well more like adoptive mom," Dick said before turning to you. "Mom?! What are you doing here?"

You stood in a fighting outfit that Bruce had made for you that came with a mask to cover your identity. You had told him how much you missed Dick since he had gone on missions that made him gone for days. So you didn't expose who Dick was, Bruce had made a suit and mask for you. And Dick knew who you were from when you showed him your outfit excitedly so you can visit him when you can.

"I've missed you. You keep missing dinner a lot so I figured I come here and cook for you and your friends," you explain like it was nothing.

"Mom," Dick whined.

"Don't you mom me. Now, why don't you all shower and dinner will be ready," you tell them.

"Thanks Robin's mom!" Wally smiled happily. "Also, hi! It's great to see you again."

"It's nice to see you too Kid Flash," you greeted.

"Thank you," M'gann said.

"Of course! I made Robin's favorite," you smiled.

The teens were more than excited to get to know Robin's mom who showed up out of no where. So when they sat at the table with the food ready, they were more than excited to ask you questions about Robin.

"What's Robin's secret identity?"

"When did you adopt him?"

"Are you married to Batman?"

"I can only answer two of those questions and that is, yes. I am married to Batman and I adopted Robin. But I'm not a crime fighter. I'm more of behind the scenes person," you explain.

You knew how Bruce was with identities. So you knew not to expose your son. While Bruce and Dick fought bad guys in Gotham, you helped out with the city by creating programs for those affected by villain attacks.

You knew that many of the villains were victims of corruption in society. So you made rehabilitation centers for petty theft criminals and have job opportunities ready for them for when they were ready. It had worked with Plastic Man who helps you with the rehabilitation centers, convincing others to choose a different path.

"I don't have a cool job like my husband or son but I do make sure they eat and sleep. Otherwise, you wouldn't have them here," you say.

"That's true."

"So, what's the most embarrassing thing Robin has ever done?" Wally asked.

"Oh my goodness. Where do I even begin?" You laughed.

"Mom, if you love me, you won't do this to me," Robin said, looking at you. You laughed again, ruffling his hair.

"He's a good kid though. And a little too smart even at home. He's been grounded a lot for getting to smart with me," you say, giving him a look.

"I am Batman's sidekick," Robin shrug in defense.

"I know," you say.

"This is really good," Zatanna complimented on the food.

"Thank you, Robin's mom," Connor thanked.

"Is there a hero name we can call you?" Rocket asked.

"You can call me... Batmom!" You say happily after thinking about it.

"It suits you," Dick smiled, giving you a thumbs up.

"So Batmom, will we be seeing you again anytime soon?" Wally asked.

"If you kids would like me to, I can visit every once in a while."

"Yes please!"

"If you kids ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask. Batman has asked me to make sure the ones who aren't from Earth adjust well to fit into Earth's society so that's why I'm also here. Not only do I miss my son, Batman asked me to help you kids out."

"We don't need a babysitter," Connor tells you.

"Batman begs to differ," you say, giving him a look.

"So what do you have plan?" Kaldur asked.

"One of them is team bonding. Help strengthen your trust with one another. But I've thought of some fun ideas towards team bonding. The second is more of trying to get you kids to relax. I understand being a hero is stressful so that's why I have fun ideas that would help you kids relax like movie nights, beach days, and more."

"Wow really?"

"Yup. You all may be heroes, but you also have to remember, you're just kids as well. When you get older, you'll understand," you said.

“Did Batman put you to this or did you get bored at home?” Your son teased.

“Both. I wanted to be helpful and when the moment came to help my son and his team, I took it,” you smiled at him.

“Well I’m glad you’re here, Batmom,” M’gann says.

“Me too! Now, make sure you kids get some rest. Tomorrow will be the first day of team bonding,” you tell them.

“And what do you plan on having us do?” Connor asked.

“A game of Volleyball,” you smiled. "And winning team gets to choose what pizza we get for lunch."

"Do we get to pick our teams?" Dick asked you.

"Nope! I get the fun in doing that," you smiled.

[tagged-by-trauma]

After everything

After a shared past that turned out bad, you meet again decades later and finally realize what you both want. Pairing: Pedro Pascal x plus size!reader Warnings: friends to lovers, hurt comfort, language, mentions of bullying, Pedro fucking up in high school, guilt, tears, slight argument, happy ending, np proofreading Word count: 2.3k A/N: Thank you to the lovely @being-worthy for sending me this idea! And I'm just hoping things will turn on the brighter side for you!

The high school was loud with the chatter of other students, some discussing the nearby exams others talking out the teachers they hated. The halls were full of the ones who were new here, still trying to find their way and coordinate in the building, even though it was the end of the year already, the bullies looking at them with their piercing eyes.

You were there once. Completely new, the hallways unfamiliar, too much classroom, and definitely too much bully. Not the best stand-up for someone like you.

You were never that typically beautiful girl with a body that could look like a model. Your curves were more prominent, you didn’t have a flat stomach and your cheeks were fuller. You only used makeup to hide the imperfections on your face, the cheap products doing a poor job. Maybe that’s why they started bullying you one day. Because you were too out of the crowd. Too new.

Too big for the bullies to notice.

It started with words. Mostly about your looks or the fact that you were new. But these words soon turned harsher, spitting venom about your family and different threats. Luckily, none of these verbal actions turned into physical ones thanks to a saviour.

Well, he wasn’t a saviour, but you called him that way anyway.

He was just a normal boy, one year older than you. He happened to walk by when the words were yelled at your way and he stepped in, shielding you, giving some not so beautiful words for the famous boys and too spoiled girls. They walked away without giving you another look, their faces turned to the ground, hands in their pockets. He introduced himself not long after.

Pedro.

Well, he actually introduced himself as Peter, but when you started to hang out with him more and more, he told you his actual and full name, and the reason why he just says Peter to everyone who meets him for the first time. You talked about hobbies, interests, and he told you how he liked drama, films, and his dream was becoming a worldwide famous actor one day.

The years turned into friendship, but you felt more.

You started falling for him.

And you weren’t sure you could land without hurting yourself.

And when he invited you to the prom you didn’t hesitate to say yes, even though you were a year younger. You immediately started panicking, trying to look for a dress that would look good on you, trying on different makeups that would make your face slimmer or more beautiful. In the end, you settled for a dark blue velvet dress and a more natural look for your face. And during the preparations, you decided that you would tell him your feelings.

And soon the evening of prom came.

You were just getting ready, looking at yourself, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear when the knock came on your door. You picked up your purse before opening the door and glancing at him.

He was wearing a simple black suit, his dark hair combed back, and you caught the way his eyes travelled down your body before it met again with yours.

“You,” he stopped for a second. “You look really beautiful.”

You blushed at his compliment, your eyes flicking to the ground.

“You don’t look bad yourself either,” your voice was barely above a whisper, and you watched as he lifted his hand to the back of his neck nervously. He thanked you and held out his arm which you took and started walking to the school.

But you couldn’t prepare yourself for the turn the night would take.

Everything was going alright, you were dancing with him to almost every song, his dance moves surprising you, and when you needed a break you both went to the drink stand with sweat clinging to your bodies. Way into the night you excused yourself, the need to use the bathroom growing stronger with every passing minute.

Even though the prom was the biggest one in the history of the school, there was no one in the bathroom and you couldn’t be more grateful for that. You looked in the mirror, pulling your makeup from the purse to fix it, your hair falling over your eyes. You wanted to tell him your feelings, but you were too afraid. Too afraid of rejection, too afraid that he would laugh at you. But he wasn’t that type of guy, he wouldn’t do that to you.

With newly found energy, you left the room minutes later, the song getting louder and louder as you walked closer to the big hall. You bumped into some students who escaped the dance floor to talk to each other, and you apologized every single time when you saw their eyes piercing a hole in your skin.

You walked into the big hall, the music blasting from the speakers, your eyes glancing around to find Pedro in the crowd of students. But the cheerful expression fell from your face when you spotted him on the dance floor with a girl grinding on him, his suit jacket forgotten somewhere. And the most painful wasn’t this. He was kissing her. Hungry, desperate, his hands pulling her closer with every move.

The time seemed to freeze in that moment; the music fading and being replaced by the loud ringing of your ear. All thoughts flew out of your mind, only the image of him with her remaining. You felt the hot tears in your eyes, your vision blurring with every passing second.

You remembered the times he comforted you after a bad day, pulled you into the same arms that he was holding her. The times he calmed you down after a bad argument with your family, the shared cuddles on the couch, the hugs, the memories coming back to you suddenly.

You knew that you shouldn’t feel this way, not like you were together or anything. But you still felt betrayed, and you dismissed the idea of telling him your feelings.

For once in your life, you felt like you were enough for someone. You brough out the best of you, putting on the most beautiful dress you could find, but you felt like an idiot for trying to be someone that you’re clearly not.

In that moment the girl pulled back and leaned into his neck and he just smirked before his eyes scanned the hall and they fell on your body. His smile immediately faltered, and the dark brown orbs showed guilt and remorse. He quickly pushed away the girl and started walking towards you, but you just shook your head and left the hall as fast as you could.

Your steps were fast, the uncomfortable heels clicking loudly on the ground as you dodged the curious students, but you didn’t care. You heard his voice behind you as he called out, but you didn’t stop, instead you picked up your pace, your sobs and tears finally breaking out of you.

“Please, it wasn’t what it looked like,” his voice was desperate, and you finally came to a halt, the beat of your heart too quick and your breathing too heavy. You turned around, his form blurry a few feet away from you.

“You don’t have to explain anything, Pedro. It’s not like we’re together or anything,” you tried to calm yourself down, you voice sounding unfamiliar to your own ears. “You do want you want with whoever you want.”

“But you want to.”

“What?”

“You want to be together, right?” his question and the mention of a relationship with him pierced painfully through your heart, and you shook your head dismissively, pursing your lips.

“I don’t know what I want anymore,” you murmured unsurely, and you saw how he stepped toward you even more, but you stopped him with one look. “Just… I need some time right now, please.”

He nodded slowly, his own eyes shining with tears too in the glow of the streetlamp. You turned away from him and started to walk away when his voice hit you and your whole body stiffened.

“Did I ruin our friendship?”

Your friendship. The friendship that you built with him since the very first day you met. The friendship that turned your world upside down. The friendship that turned to love on your side.

“No. I think I did,” you whispered loud enough so he could hear, and without waiting for his answer you continued to walk, never looking back at him. He was in disbelief behind you, trying to go after you, trying to explain that it wasn’t your fault, but he changed his mind and stared at the spot where you stood just minutes ago.

That was the moment he knew. The moment he realized what he really felt.

And the moment he really fucked up.

—-—

Months went by without talking. He eventually graduated; you stayed back for the last year. After high school you started studying law trying to block out that night you last saw him. Of course, you were walking with open eyes, curious about his career as an actor, but you never looked out for him.

And neither did he.

—-—

You watched the screen of the TV as he strode over in it, the mustard-colored cloak swishing behind him. Oberyn Martell. Game of Thrones. His first more serious role in his career.

You were proud of him, happy that he reached his goal, and you were hoping this was only the beginning. You really did, the memory of him living rent free in your mind, the glint of his eyes as he told you about his dream while holding you.

—-—

The corner café was almost empty at this time in the morning as you stepped inside. Just a few people were standing in a line in front of the counter, waiting for their usual morning coffee impatiently. You quickly stood behind the last person, your phone in hand, looking through your emails.

The que moved fast and within ten minutes you were standing in front of the barista who brought you your usual, too familiar with you and your order at this point. She placed the little cup before you, but a voice distracted you.

“The lady’s order is on me,” his voice was low and gravelly, too familiar. You turned around immediately to protest, but the words stuck in your throat as the same dark brown eyes stared into yours that looked at you guiltily that night. More exhausted, older, but the same glint was there.

“Pedro,” your voice came out as a whisper, the disbelief prominent in our tone.

“Hey,” he smiled at you, his lips slightly pursed.

“What—” you were cut off as he stepped beside you and picked up the cup after he put down a few bills. You just looked at him like he was a ghost and walked with him to one of the tables like it was natural, like you did it every day. Before you could pull out your chair, he did it, and you returned his smile as you sat down.

“It’s good to see you again.”

“Yeah, it’s been quite some time,” you said, your voice quite in the even quieter place. “Decades.”

“Well… I wanted to look for you. Years after I left high school, I tried to reach out for you, but I was too afraid to do so. I just felt like I didn’t deserve it.”

“Why?”

“Because I fucked up that night. Like really fucked up and—” before he could finish, you cut him off.

“You don’t have to explain anything, Pedro. I told you that night too and I’m also telling you now. At least, you enjoyed yourself, that’s the important part,” your voice sounded sad, but you quickly composed yourself, taking a sip from the hot beverage.

“I didn’t.”

You raised your eyebrows at his short answer, the look in his eyes apologetic, the smile falling from his lips as he took on a more serious expression.

“I didn’t enjoy it, not when I saw how it made you feel,” he hesitated before he continued. “I was young, dumb, and confused. I did what I did because I thought I could forget you like that, but I didn’t. Instead, you haunted me with the hurt look in your eyes.”

“Pedro,” you tried to warn him, but he didn’t pay attention to it.

“I realized in that moment that you also had feelings, but I was a coward to not tell you back then. So, I’m telling you now. I’m not expecting you to forgive me or have the same feelings for me, but…”

“Yeah, it hurt me seeing you with someone else, but I think I never stopped loving you. I couldn’t stop. I just needed some time to think,” you smiled at him softly, and he looked at you with those puppy dog eyes that he did back in the comfort of the school library. “And when I saw that you achieved your dreams, I was too scared to reach out too. Too afraid that I would just be a burden for you after everything.”

“You could never be a burden to me, you hear me? Never,” he said with confidence, his hand finding yours on the table, enveloping it in his much bigger ones. “So, this means we could try?”

He was hopeful, and you were too. Maybe something in your life would turn out good.

“Yes, but just small steps at first, alright?”

He nodded, the boyish grin returning to his face, and he squeezed your hands. You didn’t really hear what he said after that, but it sounded like a thank you coming from his mouth.

And it felt like a new beginning for both of you.

[lexwritesgayshit]

My current project is the same project I've been stuck on for like 8 years, my supernatural/horror urban fantasy wip Lost Things. Only it's changed so much over the years that I'm back to the brainstorming stage, figuring out all these things about characters I thought I knew. It's been really interesting to see how their character traits and narrative goals have shifted as I've changed as a person.

Summary: Sylvia is an ex-vampire, freshly and violently tossed back into the human world. She's drawn to a blink-and-you'll-miss-it cafe that is a safe haven for people who experienced rejection from society — some human, some not. There, she meets Corinne, a character whose name I still don't consistently spell the same. Corrine is a siren who's recently "gotten out" of an abusive relationship after her ex-fiance dies under mysterious circumstances. Sylvia has nowhere to live, so Corinne invites her to move into her new, two bedroom apartment.

Sylvia has to adjust to the emergence of her chronic illnesses (that she still had as a vampire, but due to vampire biology, some symptoms didn't present the same or where repressed). She struggles with finding her place in humanity and deciding if she even wants to be a part of it (ye olde depression/SI for this sad bitch). Corinne is dealing with her emerging PTSD symptoms after being in survival mode for so long. And her ex-fiance, Max, is not going to make it easy for either woman to move on. He comes back as a poltergeist to wreak havoc on their lives, and together they have to find a way to support each other, defend their home, and figure out what it means to get a second chance at life.

It's a sapphic story with a slow building romance between Sylvia and Corinne; however, I want to write it in a way that makes their romance secondary to their friendship. Like, it's there, it happens, but it's a subtle, budding relationship that exists largely in the background. Their growth as friends will be more significant. I may, in the end, decide to toss the romance altogether. There's this mentally among many readers that romance must be present for a story to be considered a queer story, and if there is a romance present, it has to be fully formed. The characters have to prove that they're falling in love, usually through grand declarations or physical intimacy. You rarely see romantic sublots that are subtle, let alone respected for their subtlety by modern readers.

I want to be able to pull it off without readers saying, "the romance isn't developed enough." Of course it isn't. It was never the point. *shrug*

Edit: also, Sylvia does blood magic now. It has some interesting pros and cons, given that she now also has POTS.

(Oh jeez, I even spelled Corinne's name two different ways in this post)

help me get active on Writeblr again. Reblog this and tell me about your current wip.

[fictionadventurer]

Scattered Emma thoughts:

I've never understood people who didn't like Emma. Never related to Austen's suggestion she was writing a heroine "no one but myself would like." But this time around, during the Robert Martin debacle, I found myself close to hating Emma. She's such a snob! Harriet would have been fine without her, but Emma is making her worse!

I got mad at Mr. Knightley, too, because he seems too mean to poor Harriet. She's got decent-enough sense if Emma could just leave her alone. The girl's young! Robert Martin's not stupid. There's got to be something to her. Give her a break!

I do love that Emma and Mr. Knightley can fight with each other. Emma can go toe-to-toe with him. They can have their different opinions and aren't afraid to talk freely about them. They're on surprisingly equal footing.

Overall, I find that Mr. Knightley is a hero who is much more appealing to me now than he was when I was in high school.

Mr. Woodhouse's name being Henry seems very off-brand for Austen. He does not fit the archetype!

Emma's position as aunt to several nephews and nieces is much more relatable now that I'm an aunt with several nephews and nieces. The dynamics with her brother-in-law also feel so real--like the irrational resentment of his lack of accommodation for Mr. Woodhouse. That's the kind of thing that can happen when you try to fit someone new into a family circle.

For the first time, Isabella and John Knightley are registering as characters. That's always the best thing about returning to a much-adapted book--you get to see all the characters that tend to get cut or minimized in adaptations.

[simply-wlw-kpopstan]

14. Strangers

⚠️ Kidnapping (idk what else but Def let me know in comments if you think it's a trigger to mention)

The next day, you act like nothing happened, like you hadn't spent hours with Sophia in your bed. Like her moans and gasps weren't embedded in your brain from now on. The positive thing is that Megan never asked about the smell when she came home, even though you knew she could smell it. Sophia's perfume was everywhere in your room, in the whole apartment even. You may have washed up and changed your bedding but there was nothing you could do to hide her scent. Megan just gave you a look but didn't speak. Instead, she talked about her day, and you were thankful she did. The same couldn't be said about Manon this morning at work.

"Come on, I know something happened. I was out late last night and imagine my surprise when I saw Sophia leaving your apartment all disheveled." She smirked as she set up her bar, refilling bottles and preparing her needed extras like cutting lemons and limes. " I've never seen her with tousled hair or frazzled-up clothes and yet both are the case when she walked out. Almost looked like a walk of shame."

"It was nothing." You shrugged as you installed a new keg underneath the tap. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"That you and Sophia did something! I know you two did! Was it like a heated kiss? Make-out session? Or did you two get Freaky?" she wiggled her eyebrows. "I'm putting Sophia on the spot next time I see her so don't worry about being treated differently by me. You both are getting an old-fashioned interrogation by me."

"How sweet," you finish connecting the tubes and test out the tap by filling up a test glass, the beer runs smoothly out of it and into the glass, the right color and texture, and you nod to yourself. "Sophia and I.... We're complicated. We've been fighting since we were kids and yesterday some stuff got brought up. It's between me and her. I don't know what happens now but we both agreed that whatever happened didn't mean anything."

"So something DID happen," she grins.

"Keep it to yourself, please? And I mean really to yourself. No talking to Dani, Lara, or Yoonchae. You walk to the faucet and wash your hands after cleaning the glass.

"what about megan? Does she know?"

"I haven't talked to her about it but I'm sure she does. There's no way she didn't smell Sophia's scent throughout the apartment. She has a very distinct one that's easy to catch. I don't know many people who use baby cologne."

"True, but she smells great at all times, though."

"Yeah, she does." You look up after saying it to see Manon grinning, "Don't even say it."

She holds her hands up in defence when the front door of the bar opens and two hooded figures walk in. Neither you nor Manon recognized them, and you shared a look, "Can we help you?"

"Just stopping for a drink. We're on a trip and decided to stop for a refreshment." One of them stepped closer and took off their hood. "My name's Nate, this right here is my sister Eli. I believe the sign said open?"

"Yeah, we are. just not used to people coming in this early or new faces." You give them a smile, "What can we get you?"

"A club soda for me," Nate said as he walked up to the bar and sat on a stool close to the tap. His sister followed, reluctantly taking off her own hood.

"I'll take a coffee"

"Any preference as to what coffee?" Manon asked as she walked up to the machine, ready to make whatever got said.

"A black coffee is fine"

"So what brings you to these parts?" you ask them as you fill a glass with the sparkling water and some ice cubes before setting it down before Nate on a coaster.

"Just passing through, we were going to spend the weekend, but your town doesn't seem to have a hotel or inn." Nate smiled politely, "Not big on outsiders here?"

"Well, we're not used to strangers. No point in opening a business that wouldn't survive. We do well on our own. Healthy little community, but that's about every small town."

Manon finished the coffee and put a packet of sugar, along with a cookie and a little cup of cream on a plate before handing it to Eli, Here you go." Unlike her brother, she doesn't say anything.

"You have quite the town if I do say so myself. Do you have a jeweler? My sister's necklace broke and we'd like to get it fixed somewhere." Nate swirled his glass before taking a sip.

"No jeweler but we have an antique shop that can help you out. He fixes all kinds of stuff so I don't think a necklace will be too much trouble for him. Where do you come from? Are you far from home?"

" We're travelers. Never really stayed at one place for too long to call it home. We like to hop from place to place. Enjoy the scenery and the little things. So, if you don't have a jeweler, how do you get your stuff? I mean rings, necklaces, earrings, you want to know if it's real gold or silver when you buy it, don't you? "

" Louis, the guy from the Antique store, has a collection of some jewelry with certificates if that's important to you. Online shopping does exist too, so it's not like we don't have our accessories in this town."

"Right, of course. Long live the internet right? Plenty of things to find and buy." He looks sideways at his sister, "I apologize for the lack of communication from her, she's a bit shy."

"No problem, some people are talkative, others aren't. The beauty of the bar is that you don't have to chit-chat if you don't want to. So where are you headed next?"

The door opens and Yoonchae walks in with a bag of stuff. She eyes the two strangers for a second before she walks up to the side and places the bag on a stool. " I brought those sketches you asked for," she hands Manon a couple of papers and waits patiently for the feedback.

"These are great! This place could use a boost and this is just what we need. Thank you, Yoonchae," she smiles, and you walk closer to see a few designs of new menus, logo, and a new window stencil.

"Think you'd be down to paint that on the Window yourself?" you look up at the young raven-haired girl.

"Sure." Her eyes drift to the two strangers again, and she leans closer over the bar, "Who are they?" she whispers.

"No idea, keep your eyes open for now alright? They say they're just passing through but just to be safe. Let us know when you see other new faces." Manon replied softly.

You throw a quick glance back to see the two siblings staring at the three of you, "Something's off about them. Think they're hunters?"

"Seem a bit too young. They stick out too much and we know they usually send more advanced hunters on recon." Manon muttered.

"Need me to inform Sophia?" Yoonchae asked quietly.

"No. Not yet. They could be telling us the truth for all we know, just keep a lookout for other strangers. Search for a car, too. They say they drove here. If you find it text me and I'll come to you to unlock it, we'll search the car together while y/n stalls." Manon glances out the window as the town square is remotely quiet. " Be Careful"

Yoonchae nods and takes her bag off the stool. With a quick goodbye, she's out the door and walks past the window. A quick glance inside and a small smile before she disappears around the corner.

"Problems?" Nate's voice fills the empty space once again.

"Not at all. Just planning some redecorating, got to check all the schedules and stuff. Business talk is hardly fun to hear while you sip a drink so we're used to talking on the low." You offer a small smile, "Anyway, I believe we were on the topic of where you're headed next?"

"wherever the road takes us"

"No destination can be fun. What was the last town you were in? Was it good?"

"Rather remote. More like a camping ground, met some interesting folks though. Nature lovers." Nate smiles. You can't help but see the small smirk on Eli's lips at the mention of the last place they visited. "Are you a Nature lover?"

"It has its beauty, very calming to take a stroll in nature. Fresh air, the birds. If you're quiet enough, you see all different kinds of animals. What's not to love about it?"

"Exactly, very beautiful. I've noticed you have quite a big forest down the road. Perhaps we could pitch a tent there for the weekend, right, Eli?" He looks at his sister and the unspoken tension sends a shiver down your back.

"You'd have to get approval from the town's council first. Our forest is protected, and there are some rare birds and small animals that we don't want to scare off. The next town has a wonderful B&B. I'm sure you'd rather sleep under a roof and in a comfy bed than in a tent."

"We don't mind," Eli speaks up, "I like the quiet. I prefer remote places, fewer troubles to do what you please."

Something definitely is up with these two but you can't prove anything. Manon is right, they don't have any of the qualities of a Hunter, but then again, times can change. There are different groups out there and they probably have different work styles. If this is a new group poking around, nothing good will come from it. When Manon gets a text, she sends you a look, and you know that Yoonchae has found the car.

"I'm gonna take a quick break, you want anything to eat?" She pockets her phone and steps from behind the bar to the door, acting like nothing happened.

"I'm good. Take your time, it's just these two anyway, so no big deal." You wave her off. She follows the path Yoonchae had taken when she had left, leaving you alone with the two newcomers.

"Always this quiet at this hour?" Nate asks.

You turn your head towards him before nodding, "Yeah, we usually open at 4, set up everything, clean the floor, tables, and bar. Around 6 o'clock people start coming in. We're never really full unless there's a special occasion in town, then everyone likes to gather and have a drink in here."

"Why don't you have a drink yourself? On me"

'' can't do, I'm on the clock. "

"Not even a water or a soda? Iced tea? Coffee? "

"Nope," it was bullshit, but he didn't need to know.

"Alright then, no drink." he smiled and stood up, "We'll be heading out then." he shrugged into his jacket and pulled out his wallet to pay. "What's my debt?"

"$5,30."

He nods and takes out the money. A five-dollar bill and then some spare change. You patiently wait for him to search for the right coins when you notice a pendant in between the mess of spare change. It's an old school silver coin, one that probably belonged in a museum instead of a wallet of some guy.

"Interesting coin. Collector?"

He smiles and holds it up, "It's a family tradition. It's made out of a silver bullet. Here," he holds it out with a smirk, "come on, grab it, it won't hurt you.... Will it?"

"I can see it from here."

"Afraid of silver?" Eli grins sinisterly, "They always are. It's a token in our group. The first silver bullet you kill with gets turned into a coin. A reminder of your first-ever wolf."

You take a step back and everything starts to spin, your head feels dizzy and you can't even see straight at the moment. You hear the laughter of them both, footsteps trailing closer and the burn of the coin against your palm," another wolf to add to the list." Nate's voice comes from your right, and you try to push him off, but you stumble.

"Don't even try, I've opened a bag with some wolfsbane. You're not even in the right state to fight back right now. Your little friend isn't here to save you. You're coming with us.'' Eli snaps," Now be a good dog and don't resist, it'll only be worse for you if you do. "Something gets pushed into your mouth, a small bud and a hand against your mouth prevents you from spitting it out, "swallow it"

"Eli, we have to go. Stop toying with her and get her out of here through the back." Nate's voice seems far away as you get tugged in a direction.

"But she hasn't -"

"Now!" The tension in Nate's voice betrays their urgency. Perhaps they know they're made now. That Manon will be back soon with reinforcement or perhaps they're on a clock.

"Fine." The hand leaves your mouth, and you spit whatever it is out. "You're going to pay for that dog."

_____________________________________

Manon runs back as fast as she can to the bar once Yoonchae finds the silver bullets and wolfsbane but she's too late. She bursts through the door and the place is empty, the glass still on the counter along with the coffee cup. No trace of you either. She walks in slowly, looking for even the smallest piece of evidence, when her eyes land on a small speck on the ground.

She squats down and picks it up to see a small bud of wolfsbane. Hunters are in town and they took you away. You were kidnapped. It feels like time stands still as the realization hits, the sound of the door opening and footsteps entering behind her.

"What happened? Where is y/n?" Dani's voice comes from behind Manon but the witch just shakes her head.

"They took her."

"Manon," Megan's voice sounds through the room, and she doesn't even know how many people came in. She doesn't care because guilt is eating at her.

"I shouldn't have left her. If I had stayed she would-"

"No. You can't think like that. Y/n wouldn't want you to." Megan says, "We'll find her and get her back. She's strong, she'll hold on for us to come and get her."

"Not with wolfsbane around to weaken her. She's as good as harmless with it just being in close range of it. The smell alone can weaken a wolf greatly. " She stands up and turns to show the bud she had picked up. "It's damp, wet. They probably tried to make her eat it."

Megan and Dani stand at the door staring at the small piece between Manon's thumb and index finger. "What will it do then?"

Manon looks at Megan, "If I step closer to you right now, you'll get weaker. The closer it gets, the worse the effect. If you eat it? Your body will reject it. You'll throw it up and depending on the kind of wolfsbane they have? It could poison and kill you. This is the normal kind, easy to find. But you'd still throw up and get so sick you'd feel like you're dying. I don't know all the types or even every effect but I do know that y/n is in great danger."

"Then we tell everyone about what happened and start a manhunt for those two. Yoonchae saw them so she could draw a sketch of them." Dani frowns, "We'll find them and they'll pay."

The door slams open, nearly flying off its hinges, and Sophia stands in the opening. Her eyes gleaming red as she looks over the place. Her chest heaves up and down, if she were human it would probably be from the running. Manon knew better though. Sophia's furious and holding on to strands of humanity so as not to trash the whole town in search of you.

"Is it true?" Sophia's voice holds a certain undertone nobody has ever heard before, "Hunters took her?"

"Yes. A sibling duo, Nate and Eli. That's what they called themselves but I don't know if it's their real names. They used wolfsbane."

"They broke the treaty. If they want war, they'll get war." With that, Sophia disappeared from the doorway.

Silence overtakes the room as nobody dares to say a word. Nobody knows what to say. Dani just walks up to Manon quietly and grabs the small bud of wolfsbane from her fingers," I'll try to locate them. With this being harmful to wolves they're out of commission for the search. You focus on trying to figure out and look into different kinds of it. When we find y/n she's going to need your help to cure her. Take a minute okay? Megan can help you, be each other's rock for now. You'll need each other."

masterlist | next

[curiouspupsicle]

A Love Letter to Fan Fic Readers💕

Yep, I spend a lot of time showing my appreciation for fan fic writers. But let's face it, without readers there would be no fan fic community either. Reading a recent Tumblr post by a writer in a "dying fandom" (their words), made me want to celebrate the many wonderful readers who have no intention of writing their own fics. But who show up day after day to read, comment, and share the fics they love. So let me tell you what I love most about fic readers:

They help a writer see their work through new eyes. I can't tell you how many times a reader's comment has led me to flesh out an idea more or come to a new understanding of something I've written.

Readers let writers know they're not screaming into the void--that their work means something to others. Even readers who don't comment increase the hit counter, an anonymous reminder to writers that their words are being read.

They connect the community together. When I see the same reader's names in comments or kudos, I'm reminded that this is a community. And folks we see over and over in different settings are like neighbors.

They share their favorites with others. It's lovely to see a comment on social media where a reader writes, "I loved that." Or, "I second the recommendation."

Readers give up their precious time to read fics. Let's face it. No one's paying us to read fics. And there are plenty of practical and enjoyable ways to spend our time. But readers prioritize reading fics.

They help all of us find new things to read. Getting a critical mass of people reading a fic helps put it in front of more eyeballs.

As long as there are readers, we'll continue to have writers. So thank you, readers. You're a wonderful part of fandom. You make it a lovely place to spend time. Did I miss any of your reasons to appreciate fan fic writers?

[jewishvitya]

I’ve been consumed once again by my YoI obsession after like five years. Any fic recommendations?

ooooooh welcome back!!

I don't know what you like!! I don't know what you've read. Canon compliant? AU? How different from the source? Long or short? Fluff? Angst?

Please feel free to be more specific! I'd love to share more! Until then I'll give you my usual list.

my favorite current ongoing fic (and one of my all time favorites in general) is a call to motion by @stammiviktor. this author is incredible, everything she touches is lovely to read. Seriously.

I also love Call the Nightingale by whatsup-buttercup. And Stay Close To Me - a really cute magical oneshot. I love many of their fics. Even just seeing their name in my inbox is great, if a new fic's tags tell me it's not for me, it still makes me feel like maybe rereading an older one.

most of my favorites aren't new, good chance you've read them.

Unsinkable, a Titanic AU. Don't let that scare you. In my opinion it's incredibly well written, and I keep going back to it. I love what the story did with Yurio as well.

I love most Viktuuri fics by thehandsingsweapon, but my favorite is a silver splendor, a flame. It made me cry a couple of times, both the first read and when I reread it. the tags are scary, but the story is happy, with a very painful moment in it. So decide if you want to read it. If you're not up for that angst, moods, states of grace, & elegies is also beautiful. Historical, royalty, and just. Lovely. This writer's fics have a very specific feeling to them that I love.

Zanka is a historical fandom favorite for a very good reason. It's a courtesan AU, author chose not to warn, and it can get dark before it gets better. And this is a theme but I enjoy most fics by this author.

sixpence's Blackbird is one that everyone I know who read it loves, but I remember the oneshot I read a long time ago, in the spaces between, made me smile with cute post-canon language learning moments for Yuuri in Russia.

I recommended life, love and language to a friend not long ago. mostly Viktor learning Japanese.

I also recommended and all this devotion folded into me by @crossroadswrite. this author is brilliant and hilarious, pick almost any of her other stories if you want to laugh. this one is more emotional. and it's beautiful. I hope I can get myself to paint all the lovely pictures it put in my head.

A Howl's Moving Castle AU, just like starlight by astrolesbian. This fandom has several HMC AUs, this is the first I read I think, and I really liked it.

Stargazer by Fahye. A beautiful space royalty AU, with royal Viktor falling in love with a talented Yuuri. I love the sport the author made for it.

all the types of dating by igneousbitch - a really funny geology professors AU. It's adorable and the humor is fun.

I felt like I'm being so repetitive with recs so I took a bit writing this out because I wanted to skim through fics I loved back when I read them to see if I still like them enough to recommend them.

Instead I'm just rereading Lessons in Love by fangirlandiknowit. It's cute. Skater Yuuri, retired ballet dancer Viktor, tiny skater Yurio as Viktor's son. I'm not a childfic person but when it's Yurio it works sometimes.

Maybe this will get me out of my reading slump and I'll be able to recommend newer things!

[olderthannetfic]

Finally writing up my notes. Toddlers, man!

Episode 1 thoughts (Mildly spoilery for later in the series):

I had forgotten that the intro explicitly says that DFS killed SGD. No wonder I had that impression for the first part of the series. I remember being surprised that everyone, including LLH, thought his subordinates had done it, not that he had physically done it himself. It makes sense that the intro, which is narrated by the puppet show storyteller, is wrong. I'd just forgotten.

The next thing I'd forgotten was this:

DFS's top women must be dead by this point unless the show just messed up its own timeline or there are more survivors than I remember being implied. Frankly, it's implied there are zero, but we know there's at least one because we meet her. As usual, the popular understanding of these figures and the actual reality are different. But if these aren't the survivors, just how many crack squads of women does DFS have anyway? This front row is all ladies, but the next chunk of crowd seems to be men, so they're definitely some kind of leaders. You can hear them yelling too. It's been included very intentionally. (A lot of crowd yelling in sound libraries is men, men, and more men. I suspect that's true in China as well. And those voices stand out anyway. This is something the editor put in with thought.)

I had also forgotten the terrible hairline makeup to hide the wig edges in the boat fight. Atrocious! I completely did not see it before.

"How does it feel to bring them here to die?" Ouch.

I keep forgetting that it's LXY's forces who are attacking. The way it's filmed with DFS' spilling through that gateway makes it look like they're the ones breaking in when they're actually probably just coming from an inner courtyard to an outer one.

The camera is so wacky at the beginning. The intrusive editing and camera movement tricks go away pretty quickly, I think? I don't remember them from later on.

Man, I swear, half the languages out there have a word that gets translated as 'waist' that we just do not use like that in English. We'd say that guy had a lower back injury or something. Also, I'm interested to note that laundry uses hammers. Ye olde laundry is hard work!

--

Do they only induct five new detectives per year, or is that just this time? I had to pause like 20 times to get this subtitle, which lasts for like 2 frames:

The big thing to note in this scene is just how dumb FDB's pseudonym is.

FDB's name is: 方多病

The fake name he gave for the tests was: 袁健康

In the subs, it's written as 袁, but that sounds like 圆, so FDB went from [square + always sick] to [round + healthy].

Really, dude? Really?

Well, at least he's proved he belongs with LLH! Can't you morons pick aliases that are a little farther from your names?

Damn... they are really hung up on LXY. Reminds me of martial arts class. Normal to teacher-loves-me-best cult in like two sessions. It's interesting to see the contrast at this point in FDB bullshitting with his little wooden knife and the very real emotional impact on the leaders of Baichuan Court. He's honestly being kind of cruel.

You wish, FDB. You wish you could see that... um... sword.

You know, I suddenly feel much less sorry for FDB in the rest of the series. The stupid, soft little voice! What a smarmy con artist!

I had forgotten that Baichuan had mortgaged their manor to FDB's mom. That's why she's able to keep them from admitting FDB and where the threat to turn it into a pigsty comes from.

I'd also forgotten that he was specifically skipping the "general examination" to go to this test. And he'd just found out about the engagement. I somehow thought it was a longstanding thing, not a new plan. Wow, this really was his last chance to escape being a bureaucrat.

What a meet cute! This genre is so full of dudes noticing someone being bullied in a tavern and intervening.

Poor little LLH. So defenseless! (Very slick how he shoved himself off the table to "accidentally" land on FDB's.)

I love his hammy acting in this part. You can really tell what's the baseline show acting and what's the character trying to act.

It's interesting how FDB can instantly recognize the thief. Has he memorized every wanted list? (Probably.)

Ah, and now, this:

FDB is totally riding high on being a ~hero~ saving a hottie even if he probably didn't mean "Spend the night with me" quite like that.

And LLH definitely didn't mean it like that. Of course, if he'd been nice, that probably would have been the end of it instead of FDB imprinting on him.

Oh! I had definitely forgotten this: the thief calls LLH "Huahua". I was wondering what diminutive actually made sense in fic. Granted, LLH rolls his eyes every time this guy speaks, but I don't think it's because of the name.

Do we ever find out how the "recipe book" got into the hands of this clan of bandits turned legit? The thief says they stole the Shi clan's book that he was after 5 years ago, but he doesn't know anything about LLH's book.

Awwww, the pouty baby!

Pettiness soulmates!

Classic.

LLH really does just inspire people to shove him against things, though in this case, not by the neck. FDB says that he's empty inside and his dantian is weak. Is that because he's hiding or because he's fucked up? I'm assuming it's the former in this particular case since FDB doesn't sense anything odd.

Maaaan. The goofy sound effects are really prominent here. I can't believe how much was packed into just the first episode!

For MLC's second anniversary, iQiyi has it up for free for a while. Anyone want to join me as I rewatch and take notes for future fic? (iQiyi, Youtube)

I wish I could stream it for people, but between my horrible internet and a toddler, it is not to be, so instead, I'm doing it the timezone-friendly way.

More thoughts on episodes 1-4 when I finish rescuing that pile of books from small, grubby hands and actually sit down to watch.

[canongf]

i am forbidding myself from restarting my island because i have worked so hard to catalogue and collect diys and miles and bells and i do not want to let them go. but. i am considering changing my theme...

[harocat]

Shoutout to Cdramas* written by women, we love you Cdramas written by women.

*And one Taiwanese drama.

What are your faves that aren't on here? Let me know so I can watch them. 👀

[bugismymiddlename]

Bryn, I understand but I can't agree. It for sure does erase their arcs and I've already stated why. Will of course will always need Mike, but he was letting go of the fact that he will never have a chance to be with him. That's what I meant. I'm sorry if I'm sounding off with this because I am having struggles right now, and I'm trying to calculate this entire thing, but yeah, that's what I mean. And also, you may have big names defending you, but that doesn't mean that is the Duffers' intention. Mike and Eleven's relationship has been operationalized and prominant, that's what makes it more likely and more plausible. Mike and Eleven's relationship is more well-established, Mike liking Will back in the last season after countless milestones of Mike and Eleven's relationship would feel like a sudden shift in the character. Mike is a loyal character, lying to Eleven for years of their whole relationship contradicts what his character stands for. And the comparison was used for the soul purpose of showing how Will developed these feelings. Mike has been a soul presence in Mike's life during his struggles, that's how his feelings were developed. And it is shown through all of the times Mike has been there for Will. And sure, I might have used it to prove Mike doesn't like Will back as well and not all stories are the same, that doesn't make it completely wrong. For all we know, Mike is still clueless and presumably doesn't consider a romantic relationship with Will.

Byler was built up as a friendship and a one-sided love for 4 seasons and that is the difference, it wasn't built as a fully romantic relationship like the others. The show supports the freaks and outcasts - Will gets that support and shelter from his mother, his brother, family friends, the party, etc. Not just Mike. What Will seemingly strives for right now is his bond with Mike still being the same even after he comes out because that's what matters to him. Everyone gets that shelter, Will is no exception, he just gets that shelter in a different way. What would contradict the theme is Eleven getting betrayed by the one boy she loved the most and has treated her like a human when she saw herself as anything but. That wouldn't be sheltering, that's heartbreaking and messed up.

You don't have to stop your theories, I just don't like when certain people take the theories and put them as what is actually going to happen.

And that's not even what rubs me the wrong way. Why in the world would you build-up a couple for the entire show of your series, making it look like the two of them are deeply in love and would do a whole lot for each other, just to have them break apart in the end and the other to find someone else? That doesn't feel right, and it for sure feels like a betrayal to anyone who has been invested in Mileven since day one. That IS bad writing. Because Mike had all the opportunities to break up with Eleven and get with Will and that'd be it. But they have gravitated towards each other at the end of every season and NOW at the last season you change it? That doesn't make sense at all. Switching to a new dynamic after having it for so long is complicated, especially at the end. It's best to keep it the way it is for the story's consistency.

Again, if Byler happens, that's the Duffers' story. That's what they want. That does not eliminate the fact that it crush a bunch of us, that's what I meant by the post. Sorry, again, I'm still trying to articulate, so sorry it I look off but that's just me.

So....quick hot take. And I'm gonna touch a couple of spots when I say this.

If Byler does happen and the Duffers please Bylers and they get what they want, something tells me it's not exactly because of "it's just the story they want to tell". I know it's not MY story, but since it is being showcased for fans like me to see and give my opinion on, I will. If Byler becoming endgame really was the story they want to tell, then it would genuinely just be a bad story and if you've been with me since the small start of my account, you already know why. And that's not on us, that's on the Duffers. If they listen to Bylers or if they genuinely wanted Byler happening, I'm not gonna sit here and just be called stupid because the Duffers are the ones that decided to tell a bad story.

People have high hopes for Mileven being endgame when they really shouldn't because that's what people SHOULD expect from everything we've seen so far, but with all of these theories of Byler and being pushed onto people and getting people into believing it and going towards it, especially because Byler has a bunch of these big names and people in lawful, psychological, "important" roles in their "community", people are obviously gonna look forward more into that and look at it even more and slowly lean more and side into it. If you perfer Byler more than Mileven while also knowing that it's chances at happening are severely low then that is a whole othet conversation. But if you firmly believe it's happening, then I honestly have nothing else to say other than my own opinions, showing other people's opinions I find and facts that I've found from valid sources.

Something tells me that Byler's chances at happening can increase from people's constant berating hurling at the Duffers. People actually send them death threats over Byler VS Mileven and it's mainly from giant demographics of Byler shippers all over the globe that watch the show. They tag the official Stranger Things account and put the most vile, nefarious writing within the message or post. It's frightening, and if I was a writer, I'd probably be a little scared to tell my own story too after that, and if that's what happens with the Duffers and they put Byler, then that's probably a factor as to why Byler would be endgame.

Again, like I said, because some of you only like to read parctially of what I say, if the Duffers decide to go with Byler on their own terms, then that's fine and it's their own story, but that doesn't just eliminate the fact that the writing is not a cup of tea for the narrative. It erases tons of character developement that they originally made before the 5th season and contradicts all of what the show had stood for since they started, and that's just really sad to think about especially since this season is the final. But again, it's their story and it would honestly be nothing we can do to change the narrative they want to make no matter how bad we want it, even though I really do hope, at least to me, they make the right decision and put Mileven in the highest spot for endgame based off of the last seasons, especially with the monolouge.

And before you say "Mike used Will's words in the monoluge", let me do a quick analysis.

The purpose of the van scene was for Will to let Mike go after realizing the depth of Mike and Eleven's relationship, and Mike's deep love for Eleven. In seasons 2-3, Will sees a lot that Mike talks about Eleven all the time and is noticing this thing with him where he is constantly in a worried, disturbed mood when anything gets in between them, and that's how Will is slowly coming to terms with the revelation that Mike is seriously in love with El.

The "crazy together" scene that Bylers love so much, is Mike telling Will about Eleven and how much he feels like he's going crazy only because he can feel her in the void. With this, Will is seeing a first glimpse of how Mike feels about this mysterious girl that saved his life.

"Just...please don't tell the others, okay? They wouldn't understand"

"Eleven would..."

"She would?"

"Yeah....she always did"

- Mike and Will, season 2

Mike brings up Eleven because Mike knew for a fact that Eleven would've understood Will's problems with seeing creatures and supernatural activity from the Upside Down, especially after witnessing Eleven's determination of helping Mike find his best friend in season 1.

And just a little imput that Will's romantic feelings for Mike developes from Mike's willingness to help Will out during his time with the Upside Down and the Mind Flayer. Mike's determination and commitment to help Will out of these unusual circumstances, changes Will's views of Mike from platonic to romantic. But it's clear that Mike hasn't reciprocated these feelings because he's still pining after his girl.

Proof of this is that a guy, a Mileven, had stated this exact same argument under a video where he had said that he was helping this girl who was in a wheelchair and continued to help her out day after day. His willingness to help the woman with her situation made her feel romantic feelings for him the more she saw him by her side, but unfortunately for her, he didn't necessarily bring back these feelings. This is the exact same situation for Mike and Will, as Mike only sees Will in a platonic sense, simply wanting to help his best friend through tough adversities.

Another realization Wil gets is how hard it is for Mike to express his feelings and how he truly feels about Eleven until people test him with their illogical beliefs. In season 3, in the cabin scene, when Mike slips out that he loves Eleven and can't lose her, Will is getting another look at how Mike sees Eleven and how much he cares and is worried for her in his love for her. This is after Will and Mike's rain fight, where Will had once complained about Mike constantly trying to focus on Eleven more than playing with his childhood friend. And now with this new information, Will finally sees why, and obviously feels a sense of envy from it as we see in season 4. He just wants his best friend but he seems wrapped up in his girlfriend, especially now since his girlfriend is now being hunted down by the military and needs help.

When we now reach the van scene, Mike is voicing his insecurities on how he feels like Eleven wouldn't need him anymore, which comes from the impact of Hopper's consistent limitations on Mike and Eleven's relationship, Max's manipulation of Eleven, everyone's judgemental views of their relationship, Eleven's stress from the situation happening around her, the struggle with expressing his feelings, and it all feels like Mike is the reason because everytime he expresses how much he loves her, something bad happens, all in the while of having his self-esteem already low from seeing the way his parents interact, how we know he was treated by young girls his age before the events of season 1, and seeing Eleven become more and more independant everyday and leaves him with the fear that she might just want to go to somebody that matches up to her level instead of a "dumb nerd who just got lucky a superhero landed on his doorstep".

But Will already just how much Mike feels about Eleven, that he's scared of losing her to the idea that she may just end up thinking that she's too good to be in a relationship with him, especially in a world where he knows the man is supposed to be the one to save the woman and not vice versa. But Will had another idea. Even whilst using Eleven to cover up his own feelings as well, he's already stated just how much Eleven hasn't been mentally the best since losing Mike, and we already know that love is the one thing that heals her, and she mostly gets it from Mike, and Will knows that from everything he's seen and heard. Will knows just how much Eleven needs Mike just like how much himself needs Mike as well, and he's not selfish enough, envious enough, to just take that away from her, and most importantly, from Mike.

Hearing this, Mike realizes just how much he means to Eleven and unknowingly, to his best friend too. The new information brings a sene of confidence into Mike as he dwells on Will's words, now knowing how important he is to his girl and that his insecurities were valid and understood, because he is afraid of losing her and he is afraid of her not needing him anymore, but she will always need him when it comes to the love she ever so needs from him and the care she ever so wants from him, because he is her rock.

Using this confidence and this new understanding, Mike speaks his mind to Eleven and shows her just exactly how he feels. And it saves her, it saves everyone, and as the script says, it felt like Mike's words were a giant, euphoric hand that pulled her up to the surface, entrusting her strength, using that same robustness to defeat her arch nemesis. And they move on to the next, giant chapter of their lives.

Thanks for reaching the end. If you've read this all the way through, feel free to share your thoughts.

(Slight) Proof:

[paxbe]

eeeeh idk how i feel about the murderbot tv adaptation guys, it's just not hitting right for me.

i will continue to give it the benefit of the doubt and see where they take the rest of the season but i feel like the showrunners have made a weird choice to make the whole vibe more silly and low stakes and as a result every character, including murderbot, comes across like incredibly incompetent and kind of pathetic?

i've seen some discussion about whether you think the show's versions of the characters are 'cringe' as being some kind of litmus test. but to me i think the way the show itself frames its characterisations of the characters is what's adding the cringe factor.

instead of having a bunch of great characters who have different perspectives and backgrounds and motivations etc. that audience can see parts of themselves in but also that drive the plot forward and tell us more about the world they're in, it feels like the show has stripped all the characters down to caricatures or quirks and then makes them seem almost apologetic about it? like all the time? kind of like the characters themselves are embarrassed and the point is that we're supposed to laugh at them for being weird. which i guess there is some element of that in the book, but it was usually always at murderbot's expense and instead in the show it feels weirdly mean spirited.

idk i feel like somehow i'm being made fun of as someone who loved the books and liked that the characters are all really different and sometimes that was beneficial and sometimes that's a challenge but all the time that's just how they are and the narrative didn't apologise for it and that's the whole point, y'know?