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maximoffcarter · 1 year ago

Text

I'll be here.

Pairings: Casey Novak x Alex Cabot.

Warnings: Mention of shooting.

Summary: Casey Novak was censured after a Brady violation. She felt ashamed of what had happened so she decided to push everyone away. Little did she know that destiny had other plans, and she crosses paths once again with the one and only Alexandra Cabot.

A/n: A surprise fic on a random Friday? Yep, definitely😌 A soft (and angsty) Calex fic, there was an episode that helped me think of this idea (also we not liking Kim Greylek here as usual) and @saurgaeee also helped create this. Though yes...it does have angst. I’m slowly recovering and I had this in my drafts, so I decided to post it, and I promise the rest will come (eventually😭) and I’ll do an update of fics that are coming next week🫶🏻 Keep the requests coming you guys! Enjoy and leave your comments, reblogs, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻 (not proofread)

*not my gif*

Casey Novak had made it her mission to not let anyone intimidate her once she started in Sex Crimes. Going to Law School, the last thing she expected was to end up where she was at the moment. After working with Mary Clark, she really thought that she wanted to be like her and if she could stay with her, her life would probably be easier. Working in White Collar had definitely taught her a lot, but the things she learned in Sex Crimes were beyond her knowledge. Of course she knew it wouldn’t be easy, she knew what she was getting herself into, and after trying to talk to Branch the first time, she knew there was no way out, and to be honest, she didn’t mind. She knew the squad saw her as someone tough and that really didn’t care about the victims, but she did, she really did care for them, she cared about the case, she wanted to get them the justice they deserved, she’d do anything for them, even if it meant getting herself in trouble.

But the last thing she expected was to go beyond her limits and get to the point where she had risked her career for a case that still ended up going to the trash, no matter how they had handled it, she knew the case would end up going bad for them and there was nothing they could’ve done to fix it. And yet, she risked her job and her license, and here she was now; sitting at the bar after standing for an hour or so before the bar listening to them talking about the lack of professionalism that she had in this case, and that she was lucky enough to not lose her license, they were taking in consideration something that Elizabeth Donnelly had told them, and that was the only reason she was still given a chance to keep her license, but…she would be censured for three years. She honestly expected worse after the conversation she had with Elizabeth, she expected them to really take away her license, but thankfully they didn’t.

Now she was sitting at the bar thinking of all the decisions she had taken in the last few years, trying to figure out what she was supposed to do next. What was she supposed to work in? She was lost, she was confused as to why she let this happen to her; what was done, was done. She had to pay for what she did, even if the consequences destroyed her. The squad had tried to call her to find out what had happened, even Elizabeth had tried to call, but Casey couldn’t bear the thought of telling them that she was not coming back to SVU, someone else would tell them, they’d have another ADA. After five years of working with them, there would be a new ADA, and she really believed that she’d work with them until she couldn’t do it anymore. But this was on her, and no one else. She asked for another drink, maybe the fourth or fifth, she had lost count of them now, but she didn’t care. She had nothing better to do anyway. For a moment her eyes registered the whole bar, knowing this was a bar that the squad normally came to, and she hoped she wouldn’t find anyone here, but then her eyes landed on someone; a blonde. She frowned as she tried to focus her eyes, the drinks now getting to her. It couldn’t be, could it?”

“Casey Novak.”

Casey’s eyes widened a bit as Alexandra Cabot stood right in front of her. “Alex…you’re back.”

Alex chuckled softly as she nodded. “Yeah, well…I was missing New York and I thought that it was finally time to come back.” She grinned. “May I sit with you?”

Casey nodded. “I’m here on my own so…some company won’t hurt.” She grinned as she looked at Alex, resting her head against her hand. “So, Alexandra Cabot is really back.”

Alex nodded as she smiled. “Sort of.” She looked at Casey. “I’m helping McCoy with some cases right now.”

“Are you making your great comeback to SVU?” Casey smiled, even if it hurt her to ask the question.

Alex frowned. “Why would I? They have you.” She grinned.

Casey sighed as she looked at her drink and shook her head. “Not anymore, Cabot.” She finished her drink and placed the empty glass in front of her.

Alex looked at her with a confused look, completely lost. “What do you mean?”

“I was censured for three years.” Casey looked back at Alex with a serious look. “Brady violation.”

Alex tilted her head. “Case…”

“I did this to myself, Alex. No need to feel sorry for me.” Casey offered a sad smile. “Liz is right…I lost perspective.”

“She did this?”

“I mean, I’m sure Petrovsky talked to her, and then Liz decided that it was for the best. I’m sure she thought that if I got away this time, then I’d do it again, and she couldn’t allow that to happen.” Casey looked down at her empty glass and shrugged. “I deserve it, Alex. I shouldn’t have done this. And either way…things went bad.”

Alex grabbed Casey’s hand on hers, making her look back at Alex. “You did what you had to do, Casey. This job…sometimes we cannot help it, and we do the things that we think are right. And I’m sure you did this for a good reason.”

Casey shook her head as she felt her eyes getting teary. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now, Alex.” She whispered softly.

Alex sighed softly as she stood up, wrapping her arms around Casey, hugging her tightly. “I’ll be here, Casey. You’re not gonna go through this alone.”

********************

Alex had been quiet on her return to Manhattan, she had agreed with McCoy that she’d be helping him with some cases, ending up working in appeals. She had made sure that her comeback hadn’t been the big deal around the office or out of the office, still not ready to let the squad know that she was back just yet. She had heard that there was a new ADA, there were rumors going around her own office about Sex Crimes, and as much as she wanted to know them, she knew that there was no point in getting involved in any of that. She also knew that if Casey ever found out that they were talking about her and now getting involved in talks about the new ADA, would hurt her. Alex had spent most of her time checking in on Casey, after work, she always headed back to Casey’s, for dinner, for movie night, to go out to drink, anything that kept Casey busy. For the first four months, Casey had decided to give herself a small break and had decided to just spend some time for herself going to therapy, Alex being the only person to know what Casey was doing with her life. Alex had tried to convince her to not push away people, she knew that she hated the fact that she didn’t have anyone when she was away, but Casey made it clear that she was just not ready to talk to them.

Now, six months later, she was helping Mary Clark in whatever she was able to do. It was at least something and it would keep her busy and distracted. She had to admit that finding Alex that night at the bar had saved her in so many ways from drowning in her own sorrow, Alex kept pushing her and kept her from falling, and she was so thankful. Both women had created a routine that at first annoyed Casey a little because she knew that Alex just didn’t want to leave her alone and she wanted to keep checking on Casey every possible chance she had, but she loved it. She loved having Alex in her apartment, she loved having her company, she loved seeing how hard Alex tried to keep her smiling and laughing, even if that meant that she had to make a fool of herself…she loved Alex.

It was obvious before, when she was working at White Collar and heard about the famous Alexandra Cabot, she admired her. And then running into her every now and then, developing a crush had been impossible to avoid. Finally being able to meet her when she was back to help them with the Connors trial, and being able to spend some time with her, really did get her crush to be more solid and Casey wished every single day that she had been brave enough to say something but then, Alex was gone again. Now having her in her apartment every single day was a bit of torture as she didn’t want to say anything that could ruin what they were building. Casey definitely needed someone in her life, and that someone was Alex, and she was not about to lose her for some stupid feelings.

“Case?” Alex asked as she closed the door behind her.

“Living room!” Casey sighed as she typed something in her laptop, her brows furrowed as she stared at the screen.

Alex chuckled softly as she walked into the living room, smiling. “I suppose you got yourself a hard job?”

“Just doing some research and trying to put everything together to send it to Mary.” Casey sighed again and then looked up at Alex. “Was expecting you later.” She smiled.

“Well, I got done with work before I thought, so I decided to bring some take out and show up earlier.” Alex smiled as she sat down beside Casey, looking at her laptop for a moment. “I think I should hire you to do our research for us. At least for me.” She grinned, looking back at Casey.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully and closed her laptop, putting it aside. “Please don’t. I have enough with what Mary asks me to do to.” She huffed a chuckle and shook her head. “She’s so happy I’m working with her again, and I’m just wondering when it’s going to end.”

Alex tilted her head as she smiled. “It’ll be over before you know it, Case.”

Casey looked back at Alex and smiled. “I know.”

“And I’ll be here to see the day it happens.” Alex smiled as she placed her hand on Casey’s squeezing it tightly.

Casey stared at Alex for a moment, trying to form the words for her the question she wanted to ask. “Why are you doing this, Alex?”

Alex frowned. “Doing what?”

“Being here with me. Supporting me. Pushing me so I don’t fall. We barely knew each other before, and now…we spend every day together.” Casey smiled a little, trying to hide the fact that she was happy about it.

Alex smiled and shrugged. “I know I hated to be alone back when I was in Witness Protection. I know it’s a completely different thing but…I don’t want you goin through this alone, Casey.”

Casey nodded softly as she smiled. “Thanks.”

Alex took a deep breath as she looked down at their hands. “There could be another reason, though.”

Casey frowned as she stared at Alex. “Elizabeth didn’t ask you to look out for me, did she?”

Alex huffed a laugh as she shook her head, looking back at Casey. “No, she didn’t. She doesn’t know I’ve been seeing you, she just knows I’m back.”

“Then, what is the other reason?”

“I don’t think I can tell you. I…I don’t want to ruin what we have.” Alex offered a sympathetic smile.

Casey’s heart stopped for a moment as she stared at Alex, unsure of what Alex could mean but also hoping that it was what she thought. “Nothing could ruin it, Alex.”

“I’m not sure about that.” Alex looked back at their hands, sighing softly. “Casey…”

“Say it, Alex.” Casey said softly, her eyes searching for blue ones.

Alex took a deep breath as she stared back at Casey. “At first…it was because I wanted to be here for you. For you to not go through this alone. But…” she huffed a chuckle. “I always had this…crush…since the first time I saw you.” She grinned. “I was just never brave enough to say it, and then I had to leave again. And seeing you in that bar…I thought it was my chance.” She shrugged. “I don’t want you to think that I’m taking advantage of the situation, I mean…I really do care about you, and I don’t want you going through this alone and I-“

“I have feelings for you too.” Casey suddenly snapped, a faint smile on her face.

Alex frowned, unsure if she had heard Casey right. “You do?”

Casey smiled softly, thinking about what she could say next, but then she decided to do something instead of using words. She wetted her lips before she leaned in and placed her hand on Alex’s neck, bringing their lips together. Alex gasped softly, letting go of Casey’s hand, her eyes widened for a second, not sure what she was supposed to do now. Casey felt that Alex was not moving and thought that maybe she had made a mistake, so she pulled away, but before she could fully move back to her spot, Alex’s hands went to Casey’s waist and pulled her into her lap, her lips attaching to hers again. Casey couldn’t help but smile against her lips, her hands tangling in Alex’s hair while Alex’s hands went up and down her back, pulling her closer. The kiss was slow and tender, until Casey’s tongue teased Alex’s bottom lip, making her moan softly and giving her full access. They finally parted ways as air became a necessity, resting their foreheads against each other’s, smiling and chuckling.

“Bold of you to not use words.” Alex teased as she chuckled, looking at Casey as she smiled.

Casey shrugged. “Sorry, I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.” She bit her lip as she smiled, her hand stroking Alex’s cheek. “So now you see that you’re not ruining anything.”

Alex’s smile widened. “I know that now.” She sighed softly, her hand sneaking under Casey’s shirt and tracing patters in her skin. “Are you willing to try this?” She whispered softly.

“I’m in if you are.” Casey smiled softly. “I…have not been with anyone in years. I’m scared but…I do wanna try.”

“I won’t hurt you. We’ll figure things out together.”

Casey nodded. “We’ll figure things out together.” She smiled as she leaned in to kiss her lips again.

********************

“So, you’re our ADA temporarily?” Olivia asked as she leaned over her desk, crossing her arms as she stared at Alex.

Alex nodded as she smiled. “Temporarily. Unless until they get a new ADA.”

Olivia nodded. “I’m glad it’s you and not Greylek anymore.”

“Was she that bad?” Alex grinned.

Olivia sighed. “I mean…sort of? She did her job but…we couldn’t handle her.” She shook her head. “She talked badly about Casey.”

Alex sighed. “What did she say?”

“’Those days are gone since Casey Novak lied to a judge and got disbarred.’” Olivia scoffed. “She’s lucky I didn’t slap her. I was so close to it, but she left.”

“She’s lucky I wasn’t here.” Alex rolled her eyes. “No one talks about Casey like that.”

Olivia stared at Alex for a moment but nodded. “Yeah. She was out of line, and I failed to protect Casey…again.” She shook her head. “We should’ve protected her.”

“Liv, she did what she did for a reason, and if she didn’t want to drag you guys with her, it was her decision. It was out of your control.”

Olivia nodded. “I know.”

“Does Elliot know about this?”

“I don’t think we’d want to know what Elliot had to say about it.” Munch shrugged. “But we definitely didn’t agree with Greylek.”

“No one ever did. We played it cool for our own sake.” Fin shook his head. “Like Olivia said, we would’ve done something for Casey.”

Olivia huffed a chuckle. “No, I didn’t tell him. He’d have gone off.”

Alex shrugged. “It wouldn’t have been bad, you know?” She grinned.

Olivia chuckled. “Well, he doesn’t have to know about it, she’s long gone now.”

“I’d have definitely told Elliot.”

“Tell me what?” Both Olivia and Alex turned back to find Elliot just a few feet away from them, a frown on his face. “What?”

Alex stared at Olivia for a moment and hen back at Elliot. “Not my thing to say, but Olivia does have something to say.” She grinned as she crossed her arms.

Olivia looked back at Alex and sighed. “I-“ she turned back to look at Elliot and shook her head. “It’s really nothing.”

Elliot raised his brow. “Right…I don’t think I believe you.”

Alex sighed as she rolled her eyes. “Greylek talked shit about Casey, and Olivia was ready to slap her, but she escaped.” She shrugged.

Olivia slapped her arm playfully. “Alex! Seriously?”

“What did she say?” Elliot frowned again, walking to both women. “Did she insult Casey?”

Olivia sighed. “Not exactly, I mean…she made a comment about Casey getting disbarred and that things had changed around here since she was not here anymore.”

Elliot took a deep breath. “Was it just that time?”

Olivia shook her head. “No.”

“Ah, I see you have a new ADA. Alexandra Cabot is back.” Kim walked to them and offered a smile.

Everyone turned to look at her, not expecting to see her back. Elliot turned to look at her and sighed. “You thought it was okay to talk badly about Casey?”

Kim frowned. “Excuse me?”

“Casey was part of us. Whatever you had to say about her, we don’t care. You have no right to talk shit about her.”

Kim scoffed. “She did something illegal. She deserved to be disbarred.”

“She was not disbarred, I don’t know where you got that from.” Alex snapped as she stood beside Elliot.

Kim stared at both of them, scoffing again as she shook her head. “Well. It’s what she deserved after what she did. If they let her walk without any consequences, then she’d have done it again. If she wants to do that, she can be a defense attorney, because that’s what they do. Oh, wait.” She laughed. “She cannot do that, because she doesn’t have her license, right?”

“You bitch.” Alex said under her breath.

“You don’t even know why she did what she did. Was getting her office not enough for you? You gonna drag her name too now? What are you, a fifth grader who’s so insecure that you need to drag people down to feed your ego?”

Alex looked at Elliot. “She got Casey’s office?”

“I only said the truth. What are you so mad about? Are you sleeping with her or what? Do you miss your girlfriend here?”

Alex turned to look back at Kim, giving her the stare that would definitely kill her if she could. “I am sleeping with her! Is that a problem for you?! You think you’re so perfect to say those things about her?! She has the highest conviction rate, you bitch!” Olivia wrapped her hands around Alex’s arms stopping her from going to Kim.

Cragen walked out of his office as he heard his squad and the attorneys yelling at each other. “That’s enough!” Everyone stared at Cragen, calming down. He looked at Kim. “I think you should go.”

Kim nodded and looked at everyone. “I’m sorry.” She simply said before she walked away.

Alex sighed heavily as Olivia let go of her, running her hand through her hair. “I can’t believe her.” She shook her head.

Munch frowned and turned to Alex. “You and Casey?”

Alex’s heart stopped at the question, turning to look at everyone who were already staring at her. “Uh…what did I say? I didn’t-“

“You said you were sleeping with Casey.” Olivia raised her brow as she grinned.

Alex gulped as she nibbled on her lip. “I uh…” she clears her throat. “I don’t recall saying that.”

“Oh but you did.” Fin smirked as he nodded.

Elliot then turned to look at Alex, frowning. “You’re sleeping with Casey? You’ve seen Casey?”

“I- uh. I just had to stop her from talking, that’s all.”

“Right.” Munch laughed.

Cragen looked at Alex and sighed. “Have you seen Novak?” Alex turned to look at him and nodded softly.

“How is she doing?” Olivia asked softly.

Alex sighed. “Guys, I don’t think it’s my thing to say anything, I-“

“C’mon, Alex. We just wanna know how she is. She never answered us.”

Alex nodded softly as she looked back at Elliot, smiling. “She’s doing okay. And yes…we’re dating.”

Olivia smiled. “That explains it all.”

Alex huffed a chuckle. “We uh…we ran into each other when I came back, and from there, we just started hanging out daily.” She shrugged as she smiled. “From there, it just developed into a relationship, and we’re both happy. She moved in with me.”

Elliot smiled. “But she’s not ready to talk about what happened.”

Alex shook her head. “No. She’s not. But she’s okay. She’s working with Mary Clark, keeps her busy.” She sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”

“We get it. But let her know…that she’s missed.” Cragen nodded as he offered a smile.

Alex smiled softly. “I’ll definitely let her know that.”

Elliot walked to Alex. “Please…tell her that we’re here for her. Whenever she wants to talk?” He said almost in a whisper, a hint of sadness in his voice.

Alex smiled and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I’ll tell her that.”

********************

“You’re back.” Casey said softly as she smiled, opening her arms as Alex walked inside their bedroom.

Alex chuckled softly as she kicked her shoes off and crawled into bed, getting on top of Casey, and leaning down to kiss her lips softly. “Hi.” She smiled.

“Hey.” Casey smiled against her lips, placing her hands on Alex’s cheeks, and bringing her down for another kiss. “How was your day?”

Alex sighed as she laid on top of Casey, burying her face on Casey’s neck. “It was okay.” She grinned. “A bit hectic.” She huffed a chuckle.

Casey frowned. “Something happened?”

“Yep. We almost killed Kim Greylek.”

“Was that the ADA that replaced me and that you’re now replacing?”

Alex nodded. “Indeed.”

“Why would you do that? And who else was gonna kill her?”

Alex chuckled, sitting down so she looked at Casey but staying on her lap. “We found out that she was talking about you, some bad things. Elliot found out too.” She grinned. “He went off on her, and she fought back but…Elliot and I stopped.” She shrugged.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “Oh my god.” She chuckled softly. “Baby, whatever she had to say, it doesn’t matter.”

Alex shrugged. “I don’t want anyone talking shit about you. Whatever happened, no one should say shit about you.”

Casey smiled softly as she sat down, wrapping her arms around Alex’s waist and leaned in kissing her jawline softly. “You’re cute, you know that?”

Alex wrapped her arms around Casey’s neck and shrugged. “I know.” She smiled.

“I love you. Thank you for protecting me.” Casey smiled.

“I love you more.” Alex smiled as she kissed her lips softly. “Also…the squad wanted me to tell you that…you’re missed, and that they’ll be there for you for whenever you want to talk to them again.”

Casey sighed as she nodded. “I will. Eventually.”

Alex smiled, running her hand through Casey’s hair. “I know you will. I told you, there is no rush.”

Casey smiled. “Thank you.”

“Take a shower with me?” Alex bit her lip as she smirked.

“Are you telling me I smell bad?” Casey raised her brow.

Alex laughed. “I just want to take a shower with my girlfriend.”

“To save water, right?” Casey grinned.

“To save water.” Alex smirked.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “Right.” Casey wrapped her arm securely around Alex’s waist and moved to stand up with Alex still in her arms.

“Case!” Alex laughed as she wrapped her arms around her neck and her legs tightly around Casey’s waist, hiding her head on Casey’s neck.

“What? We’re gonna go shower.” Casey laughed as she stood up, her hands under Alex’s thighs to hold her and walking to the bathroom.

********************

“Do you know if Cabot is out of the trail?” Munch asked as he looked at Olivia.

Olivia shrugged. “Not sure, she said she’d come as soon as she was done, so she could be here any time soon.”

Elliot picked up his phone and yawned, shaking his head. “Stabler.”

“I’m sure they’ll find him guilty, there is no way they’ll let him walk free.” Fin sat on his chair as he looked at Munch. “Cabot wouldn’t let that happen.”

“We sure know she wouldn’t, but it’s not in her hands after all.” Munch shrugged.

“Wait, say that again.” Elliot got up and frowned, his chest heaving as he listened to what the other line was saying. He snapped his fingers at anyone who would look at him. “Call Novak.”

Fin frowned as he looked at Munch and then at Elliot. “What?”

“Call Casey!” Elliot yelled as he brought back his attention to the phone. “Where was this? Are you sure about it?”

Olivia frowned as she looked at both Munch and Fin grabbing their phones, and then she looked at Elliot. “Elliot, what’s going on?”

Elliot covered the phone and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “There was a shooting in a store. They were holding the people inside as hostages…”

Olivia shook her head. “What does that have to do with Casey?”

“One of the victims…was identified as Casey.” Elliot said almost in a whisper.

Olivia’s heart stopped for a moment as she stared at Elliot. “Oh my god.”

Fin sighed as he shook his head. “How are we gonna tell Alex?”

“Tell me what?” Alex walked to them and frowned as she saw the worried faces. “Who died?”

“Uh…” Olivia looked back at Elliot who was still on the call trying to get an answer to see if it was Casey or not.

Alex looked at all of them and shook her head. “Everybody forgot how to speak or something? What’s going on?”

“Elliot is in a call right now…there was a shooting.” Olivia said calmly.

Alex nodded. “Okay…aren’t you supposed to go investigate? You want me to do your job too?” She joked as she looked at Olivia.

“Alex…” Elliot whispered.

Alex looked at him. “What?!”

“They identified a victim. The name’s Casey.”

Alex stared at her for a moment, her heart sinking as she tried to process Olivia’s words. “What?”

“We don’t know if it’s her, Alex.” Elliot said as he looked at her.

Alex felt herself starting to panic, trying to take a deep breath. “Is there…where? Where did it happen?”

“They’re still trying to get the shooter out. They just know there are victims who were shot.”

“Anyone tried to call her?!” Alex stared at Munch and Fin.

“No response.” Munch simply said.

“Okay…uh…I’m…I’m going h-home.”

Olivia looked back at them and then at Alex. “I’m coming with you, let’s go.” She grabbed the keys and followed Alex to the elevator.

The whole ride they were both quiet, Alex trying not to panic as she looked out the window. She had tried to call her to her phone and to the house’s phone, but there was no answer. Casey had told her that she’d go out to buy some stuff and to see Mary, but when Alex called Mary, Mary had said that she had already left, and she hadn’t heard from her. She could feel Olivia’s eyes on her, and Alex tried her best to hold back tears. Elliot was right, they didn’t know if it was her. They didn’t know if it was her Casey. It could be anyone else, there were so many people called Casey. They couldn’t have known so easily that it was Casey who had been shot. There was no way to know, not if the cops were still outside trying to get the shooter.

“Alex…” Olivia whispered.

“How is it possible that they can’t fucking say anything? They call and they…they don’t have official information. And she’s not answering the fucking phone.” Alex snapped as her eyes started getting teary.

“Honey, you need to calm down. We don’t know for sure that is Casey.”

“What if it is my Casey?” Alex turned to look at Olivia, tears already rolling down her cheeks.

Olivia looked at her for a moment and then focused her eyes back on the road, sighing. “No. She’s too stubborn to just die and leave you, Alex.” She offered a faint smile.

Alex huffed a chuckle, wiping away her tears. “And she’s too stubborn to let me know if something happened to her because she doesn’t want me to worry.”

“She just loves you, Alex. She’d call if something was wrong.”

Alex nodded softly as she looked out the window again, trying to stop thinking the worse. Once they got to her building, they decided to take the stairs, too desperate to wait for the elevator. Alex got her keys out as fast as she could and almost kicked open the door, walking inside the apartment, she dropped her bag and started yelling Casey’s name.

“Case?! Casey, are you here?” Alex went into the living room, the kitchen and to every room.

Olivia’s phone went off, pulling it our of her pocket and answering. “Benson.”

Alex almost sobbed as she walked out of their room. “She’s not here, Olivia.” She walked to Olivia and stared at her, noticing that Olivia was staring blankly at the floor with the phone still in her ear. “Olivia?”

Olivia hung up and looked at Alex. “Alex…we need to go to the hospital.”

Alex shook her head, covering her mouth. “No…Liv. Please-“

“We need to go, Alex.”

********************

Turns out that to their bad luck, the shooting had happened in the store that Casey had decided to go to. She got shot and she had been unconscious the whole time, bleeding out, so once they got inside the store to get the victims out, Casey had lost way too much blood already, they had barely gotten a pulse, rushing her as fast as they could to the hospital. One of the cops had recognized Casey, but then was told to not confirm anything yet, even if they knew it was Casey. They pulled the bullet out, and Casey was now in intensive care…in a coma. Alex had tried to understand everything that the doctor was telling her, but she was lost, she couldn’t focus on whatever they were saying, she only wanted to see Casey, she wanted to be with Casey; her Casey. She had almost fought the nurses that didn’t want to let her go in to stay with her and Olivia had to talk to Alex to calm her down. But now here she was, sitting beside the bed looking at her girlfriend with a lot of cables on her. This was not happening, not Casey.

“Case…” Alex whispered softly, grabbing Casey’s hand, and bringing it to her lips to kiss it. “I don’t know if you can hear me. The nurse…I’m not sure if she told me to make me feel better or because you really can hear me. She said I could talk to you.” She felt tears rolling down her cheeks as she stared at Casey. “Casey…please, wake up. I need you to come back to me. I cannot lose you.” She sobbed. “We’re all waiting for you. I’m waiting for you. I need you. I…I was so happy when we gave each other a chance, I really thought that I wouldn’t be able to have that chance with you, and then you kissed me.” She chuckled sadly. “Remember? You…you kissed me, and god I was in heaven when you did.” She stroked the back of her hand and stared at it for a moment. “I already knew I was in love with you. I was scared to admit it because I thought it was too soon, but I just knew.” She looked back at Casey. “And I knew that I didn’t want to live this life without you. So please…please…come back to me.” She sobbed. “I need you, Casey.”

The squad tried to switch every now and then with Alex so she could have a break and go eat something or just to get some fresh air. But Alex didn’t want to leave Casey’s side, she wanted to be there in case she woke up, she just wanted to stay there the whole time. 2 more days passed, and they said everything looked good so far, but she just needed to wake up. Elliot had begged Alex to go home and get some sleep and that he’d be there, but Alex had been too stubborn and almost fought him that she would not leave the hospital to go to sleep. Elliot decided to drop it and they all decided to stay outside to let Alex stay inside for another hour. Alex talked to Casey, trying to tell her how the squad was a pain in the ass, but that they were so happy that they could see Casey again. Branch, Elizabeth, and Mary had paid their visits, also trying to convince Alex to go home, but they’d have to fight her to go home, so they didn’t push anymore. Alex laid her head on Casey’s arms as she stared at her; she missed her voice, seeing her smile, her laugh, she missed kissing her and holding her. She just wanted her Casey back.

“Alex.”

Alex opened her eyes, sitting up and looking at the door but there was no one there. She frowned as she tried to stretch, and then her heart stopped when she heard her name again. She turned to find Casey smiling at her.

“Casey…”

Casey smiled. “Hi baby.”

Alex’s eyes got teary, sobbing softly. “Casey. You’re awake.”

“Seems like it.” Casey chuckled softly. “I don’t even get a kiss?”

Alex chuckled softly as she stood up and carefully placed her hands on Casey’s face, kissing her lips softly, smiling against her lips. “You’re awake.” She chuckled softly as she rested her forehead against Casey’s. “I missed you.”

“How long have I been asleep?”

“2 days. Almost 3.”

Casey sighed. “I’m so sorry, baby. I wanted to call you but…”

“You got shot in that moment.” Alex whispered softly.

Casey nodded. “Yes.”

“You remember everything?”

Casey nodded again. “I do.” She sighed. “I’m so sorry if I scared you.”

Alex smiled sadly. “You didn’t just scare me.”

“What you mean?” Casey frowned.

“The whole squad is outside waiting for you. Branch, Liz, and Mary came yesterday.” Alex smiled. “They all waiting for you.”

Casey smiled softly. “They do miss me.”

Alex chuckled softly. “They do.”

“Can we wait a bit longer though? I just want to be with you.”

Alex smiled as she nodded. “Sounds good to me.” She leaned in and kissed her lips softly.

********************

“Hey! Look who’s here!” Elliot smiled as Alex and Casey walked into the squad room.

Casey chuckled softly. “Yes, I’m back on my feet. I’m just glad I didn’t need to wear a cane again.” She grinned softly as she looked at Alex, who had her arm wrapped around Casey’s waist carefully.

“Oh, that’s because I’m your cane? Very funny.” Alex chuckled.

Olivia smiled. “We’re just glad you’re okay, Casey. And to see you back here.”

Casey sighed. “Well, I’m still not back. You got this one for another while if she decides to stay and keep my place.” She grinned.

“Oh, the place you took from me first? How nice of you.” Alex smirked.

“Who would’ve thought, Novak and Cabot together. Can’t say I’m not in for it. I’ll be waiting for the wedding invitation.” Munch grinned as he laughed with Fin.

Alex blushed slightly, turning to look at Casey. “Uh…we’ve just been dating for a little over a year guys. Don’t get too ahead of yourselves.”

“You saying you don’t wanna marry me?” Casey raised her brow.

Alex cleared her throat. “Uh…I didn’t mean that. I-“

“Alex Cabot blushing and nervous. What do you do to her, Novak?” Fin teased, making the squad laugh.

Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “Cut it.”

Elliot laughed. “Hey, we were thinking about going to eat, all of us.” He walked to Casey and smiled. “You’re not getting rid of us again, Case.” He winked at her and then went ahead to grab his coat.

Casey sighed softly as she smiled, looking back at Alex. “Shall we?”

Alex nodded. “Also.” She saw the squad walking out and then turned to look at Casey, smirking. “I do wanna marry you, someday.” She leaned in to kiss her lips softly and smiled.

Casey blushed slightly and started walking with Alex still holding her. Everything had started like shit, but things had definitely gotten better, and she couldn’t wait for her future with Alex.

#casey novak x alex cabot #casey novak #alex cabot #alexandra cabot #svu fic #law and order svu #svu #casey novak fic #alex cabot fic #calex fic #calex

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darksonofsparda · 6 months ago

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Omg its another update post!/return notice

Look who isn't dead, hello. You may or may not remember me from last year as an active role player. I didn't want to take long to post this, but I haven't had any internet access for a whole year There's a lot of reasons why I disappeared for one year It's a pretty big read, but I ask that you please read below the cut, as its important, especially those who are still looking to write and ship with me.

I don't wanna make this too long, but its probably gonna end up long anyway. So a little bit into the year, while I put on a happy attitude, behind the scenes, I've been struggling. Lots of things were stressing me out irl and it was affecting how I talked to people. I started to notice myself becoming more easily irritable for stupid little things, and it kept happening more and more, I almost ruined a friendship with my attitude, and I've already ruined one with my actions, and I don't ever wanna do that again. The moment I finally realized this, I knew I just had to step away for a while, get my head back together and just fix myself. I've been writing on this website for over 10 years, about 13 or 14 now, and treating others with kindness and respect is something very important to me, had I not taken a break, I was afraid I would explode on the next person who barely upset me, and that is not the kind of person I wanted to be, or ever want to be. I'm not this toxic person, but I almost became toxic, and I had to stop myself by giving myself some distance from the internet. So taking some time away was much needed. I was able to get a better look at myself and finally see the person I wanted to be. While I still have some important things to do in life, I'm decided to come back. To be honest, I wasn't sure I was even going to return, but after A LOT of thought, I realized, there are still so many stories I want to tell with others, so many characters and ships i want to explore for all my muses. To save me some trouble, I'm gonna reblog this or repost this on my other active blogs. I'm coming back sometime next month, I'm not sure when exactly, but definitely sometime in February, by then I'll have internet again, and will be able to be here once more. That being said, I'm going to be spending the next few weeks reaching out to people. Ship partners and mains who I've interacted with. I know there are a select few number of ships and partners of mine that I will definitely be reaching out to, to find out who would like to continue certain threads with me and see who would still like to ship, especially if its a thread I've spent a lot of time plotting with you. I'd tag people, but this is gonna be used on all my active blogs, so I'll just reach out. I'm sorry I didn't come back sooner, but I just needed some time to feel isolated to kill all this negativity and toxicity that followed me. To those who remember me, I hope to continue writing with you and tell out characters stories, because there's always more adventures to get into. I understand if a majority of people both who I've yet to write with and have already written with want to drop our threads and move on, my break was very unplanned. But if you are one of those people who is still wanting to write with me, and give our muses a chance, than I want to take a moment to thank you for being here, especially the people who always stick with me despite my track record of sometimes disappearing without a trace. P.S: Since not everyone is on right now, this will reblog for one week, but spaced out in between so I don't clutter the dash. I look forward to continuing our muses stories, whether we've already started their adventures or if we have yet to do so, thank you. Hope to write with you all again soon. ~Chase

#oᴜᴛoғpʜᴀɴᴛᴏᴍbʟᴀᴅᴇs (ooc)#Man its been forever #I just can't leave tumblr rn #There's still so much I wanna write and explore with others #I'm feeling like a much better person now #And that means it's time to come back #I know I leave and return often #But I love writing too much to just quit

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dxfiedfxte · 6 months ago

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Omg its another important update/return

#tʜᴇbʟᴜᴇʙᴇʀʀɪᴇsaʀᴇmɪssɪɴɢ ( ooc )#It's been too long #I hope I wasn't forgotten #But I don't blame anyone if they did since its been a whole year #Lots happened but I still want to be here

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astrophileous · 2 years ago

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Love Bugs (Pt. 01)

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Female Reader

Synopsis: You and Derek Morgan have an arrangement. At work, your relationship is strictly business. Under the sheets, it's all about pleasure. Nothing more, nothing less. Until, of course, your feelings start to get involved. Your situation is complicated enough without the unexpexted predicament that suddenly befalls upon you. But with a maniac serial killer on the loose, will you ever get the chance to make everything right?

Warning(s): 18+ NSFW SMUT, oral (m receiving), fingering, unprotected penetrative sex, dirty talk, slight mdom/fsub dynamic, praise kink (?), dubious consent (only because both of them are kinda drunk), alcohol consumption, cursing (a lot of it)

Word Count: 3700-ish

Author's Note: sooo I used to write for law and order svu a long time ago on my old account, but I haven't really picked up fanfiction writing for a long time now, but this is definitely a first time for me writing smut so pls keep that in mind lol. that being said, I was absolutely APPALLED by the lack of derek fanfics on this platform, hence why I decided to take matters into my own hand and wrote this little piece right here :) this fic is gonna be divided into several parts and I'll try to post an update asap. the tw will be adjusted accordingly on each part of the fic. I'll also be making a masterlist for the whole series hopefully sooner rather than later. in the meantime, I hope you enjoy the story below and don't forget to drop a like/comment/reblog xoxo

Love Bugs Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist

Since the first time you met him, Derek Morgan was never less than 200 pounds of danger and charm, and he wore that fact with immense pride.

"I'm Derek," he offered smoothly, palm extended to shake yours the moment Hotch introduced you to the team.

"Nice to meet you," was your reply. His hand felt sturdy against your clammy one. "You can call me (Y/N). Or Beetle. Whichever works."

"Beetle?" Someone in the room interjected. You were pretty sure her name was Emily. "How'd you get Beetle from (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?"

"It's a childhood nickname. Kinda stuck." You shrugged. "It's a long story."

That was how everything started.

Flirtatious was Derek's second nature. You convinced yourself not to be swayed by the sweet nothings he kept on dropping wherever he went, especially when you began to understand more about his dynamics with Penelope Garcia. You were just another side quest in his little game, and Derek was merely eager to be the number one top player in the leaderboard.

But your heart, unfortunately, had always been much more vulnerable than your head.

And Derek Morgan, as you came to find out, was its biggest kryptonite.

"Hey, Bug." Derek had approached you after one particularly grisly case. The nickname he had chosen to adopt for you after a couple of weeks being on the team dripped easily from his tongue. "Drinks afterwards?"

"Sure. Who else is coming?"

"Just us two tonight, sweetheart." He winked.

You should have seen it coming.

You should have known that getting drinks late at night with Derek Morgan--alone--was going to be the start of your rapid downfall.

Derek Morgan was the kryptonite to your heart.

Yet then again, you always knew you were secretly a masochist.

"Okay, okay, back up a minute," Derek choked out in between laughter. "That's how you got the nickname Beetle?"

You were quite enjoying the sight in front of you. Twinkled eyes, carefree Derek, who was finally able to let himself loose thanks to the alcohol in his system. The smile lines on his face miraculously made him appear younger, and you could almost catch a glimpse of the young, ambitous football star he once had been before he began pursuing the life of law and justice.

"Yep." You nodded sheepishly, stirring the remaining liquor in the glass in front of you. "I didn't know, okay? How was I supposed to know that beetles can reproduce and multiply that much in the span of a couple of weeks? And frankly, I blame my teachers for failing to satisfy the curiosity of an eight-year old me."

"Alright. Blame the underappreciated heroes of this country, then. How were they supppsed to know you'd actually manage to cause a beetle infestation, Bug?" He pointed an accusatory finger at you. "Please tell me you got punished."

"I did. Mandatory volunteer work." Derek stared in disbelief at your answer. "Well, they wanted to suspend me, but my mother could be very persuasive."

"Meaning, she threatened to sue the school?" Derek raised an eyebrow, remembering the one time you told him that your mom was a lawyer before she passed away.

The rest of the night unraveled similarly. With more anecdotes shared and less sobriety kept, conversation with Derek flowed effortlessly. It felt like a swimmer being back in the water after a year-long sabbatical. Before the two of you realized it, hours had passed since you and Derek first stumbled into that bar, and the finale of an exhausting day had at last morphed into the premiere of a better one.

At Derek's insistence, he accompanied you on the taxi ride back to your apartment, ignoring the constant protest that you kept voicing out loud during the entire journey.

"This is absolutely unnecessary. I told you I'm fine," you grumbled as you staggered from the taxi towards your apartment bulding.

Derek caught up with you easily despite having to linger back to pay for the taxi fare. You stopped on the steps leading towards the front door, too busy fishing for your apartment key to notice that your balance had started slipping from your state of inebriation.

You laughed drunkenly when you felt yourself fall into a pair of strong arms. "Whoopsies. Sorry."

"Careful, Bug. Don't hurt yourself," Derek muttered softly.

Your whole body shuddered at the sensation of his breath on your ear. Derek had never felt this close before. Not even when you hugged each other goodbye or when you embraced one another after a close call in one of your cases. This time, his arms around you felt intimate. That fact alone managed to sober you up even if only for a fraction.

"Okay. I'm okay."

You scrambled out of Derek's firm but gentle hold, finally producing the offensive key from your purse before inserting it into the key hole.

"Thanks for taking me home. You didn't have to."

"I know." Derek raised his fingers, pushing away the strands of hair that had fallen over your eyes as a consequence of the passing wind. "I wanted to."

You stood there under the darkness, body nailed in place by a force far greater than anything you ever knew. Derek was looking at you with an unidentifiable gaze. One that seemed to burn brightly beneath his eyes, but warm and tender once they fell upon your skin.

The intensity was new. Overwhelming. It struck your core, stripping you bare of any defense left in both your body and soul.

Perhaps, that was exactly why the next words even managed to leave your mouth.

"You're pretty."

And God, he really was.

Derek Morgan was beautiful. All six feet and two inches of him. He looked pretty in the mornings when he slid a warm cup of hazelnut latte across your desk, and he looked just as pretty in the evening under the delicate strokes of moonlight.

At the sight of his amused beam in response to your sudden remark, you began to contemplate why anyone hadn't tried to claim him as the eighth wonder of the world.

"I'm pretty?"

"Very."

"I think you're prettier."

"Hm?"

Derek took another step forward, closing the distance between the two of you until the air you exhaled became the very one he breathed in.

"Good night, (Y/N)." The rare sound of your name out of his mouth made you shiver.

Derek exterminated the remaining gap between the two of you. For a second, your entire nerve endings stood in anticipation, waiting for the moment that his plush lips would touch yours.

They never did.

Instead, his kiss had landed on your cheek, viciously close to where the line of your lips started that you could almost picture how he would taste when you closed your eyes.

Derek started to pull away, but he never got further than a mere centimeter before you decided to take matters into your own hand and pressed your own lips to his inviting ones.

He tasted of alcohol and mint. But most importantly, he tasted of Derek. A distinctive sweetness that erupted the dormant butterfiles in the pit of your stomach. They began to soar freely inside of you under the influence of Derek's touch.

Your entire being was on fire. What started as sweet and alleviating soon turned into a contest of desperation. Before you knew it, you somehow had managed to unlock the front door and moved inside, all the way to the door of your own apartment.

When he nipped your bottom lip, you couldn't help but moan into the kiss.

"Fuck," Derek murmured against your lips after hearing the needy sound you just made. "Fuck me."

"I'm trying to," you said impatiently, scrambling to get ahold of his collar and brought his lips back to where they belonged.

Your ministrations screeched to a halt with Derek's hands around your wrists. "Hey. No, Bug. Stop."

Derek took a step back then, letting your hands fall back to your side. He never strayed far from where you stood against the wooden door, but even that tiny bit of distance was enough to make you crave more of him.

You needed to feel his body pressed up against yours, to have him incredibly close that you had no idea where he ended and you began.

"Derek, please..."

You should have been ashamed by how wretched your voice sounded, but you didn't care. You wanted him past the point of caring.

His smile was gentle and forlorn at the same time. "No, sweetheart. Not tonight."

Just like that, your heart plummeted straight out of your chest. "What?"

"Go inside, (Y/N). Get some sleep."

"No!"

Had it been any other day or any other person, you would have chastised yourself for your lack of propriety. But it wasn't any other person standing in front of you. It was Derek. Beautiful, kind, and courageous Derek. Your friend. Your kryptonite.

The oblivious owner of your heart.

"Don't go," you whispered. "Come inside. Stay with me tonight."

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

Your gut churned with dread. "Y-you don't?"

"Christ. I didn't mean it like that. Hey, look at me." He tugged a finger under your chin, forcing your eyes to stare into his dark ones. "You have no idea how much I want to. But you're drunk."

"So are you."

"Exactly my point."

"Derek--"

"I'm not gonna have you forget our first time in the morning just because you were too drunk to remember it, Bug."

The urge to chortle was almost unbearable.

Derek seemed to notice the comical mischief shining in your eyes. "What?"

"It's funny that you think I would ever forget the first time we fuck."

A breathy laugh rumbled out of his chest. "You're a menace, woman."

"A menace who wants you. Please, Derek," you started to whine. "I'm sober enough to give my consent. Hell, I could even recite the entire FBI oath to prove it if you want. You wanna see? I, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), do solemnly swear that I will support and defend--"

"Bug--"

"--the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic--"

"(Y/N)--"

"--that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same--"

You never did finish reciting the remainder of that oath.

The taste of Derek's lips on yours was an interruption you'd gladly welcome at any time of day. Through some sort of miracle, you managed to drag the two of you inside the safety of your apartment without ever breaking the kiss.

When it was time to come up for air, Derek's voice was raspy in your ear, "Sweetheart, I think--"

You didn't give him a chance to protest.

The kisses you peppered started on his neck. When your teeth gritted over his pulse point, Derek let out a low moan that vibrated through your entire being.

"Oh God..."

You continued showering kisses down his body, enjoying the way Derek had been bespelled by the magic of your touch. The buttons of his shirt came undone, and when you finally fell to your knees in front of him, you sucked hard on the skin where his abs met his pelvis.

"Shit. (Y/N), you don't... we don't have to--"

"For God sake, will you shut up?" You chuckled. "Did you not hear anything I said? Or should I just demonstrate how badly I want you right now?"

You took Derek's lack of further objections as permission to go ahead.

His buckle and pants came off pretty quickly. The next to go was his boxer, and the sight that greeted you afterward had your most intimate part gushing in excitement.

You wrapped your fingers around his hardening length. Tentatively at first, but the blissed out look on Derek's face only spurred you on even further.

"Is this okay?"

Derek gulped down before answering, "Yes."

You began to move your hand up and down, feeling Derek going stiffer and stiffer in your hand.

"Holy fuck," Derek cursed when you took his tip in your mouth.

He tasted divine on your tongue. It took a little while for your muscles to fully relax around his impressive size, but when they did, you began to bob your head back and forth, moving in tandem with the hand still wrapped around the rest of him that you couldn't fit entirely in your mouth.

"Yeah, just like that, pretty bug. You're doing so good," he panted.

Derek continued giving his praises, his words--along with his fingers in your hair--doing things to your body that had your thighs clamping down tightly. You began rocking in rhythm with the pace of your head and hand, trying to put pressure against the pulsing need inside your warmth.

"Fuck. Trying to relieve yourself, sweetheart? Sucking me off gets you all hot and needy, huh?" Derek moaned at the sight of you on your knees, teary eyed and full of him, writhing from the budding heat in the pit of your stomach.

You gave him one last suck before he pulled you up to your feet.

"Come here," Derek ordered before kissing you fervently.

He maneuvered the two of you from the doorway, following the direction to the bedroom that you had vaguely gestured at him. Once inside, Derek pushed you towards the bed while he threw his shirt onto the floor.

"You're naked," you mused in between giggles.

"And you're overdressed," he retorted. Your hands began to undo the buttons of your shirt before Derek's hand stopped them. "Let me."

He discarded your shirt in no time, your bra following not far behind.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered before leaving feathery kisses across your collarbone.

He started sucking on your nipple while fiddling the other one, enjoying the way your body reacted to every stroke of his tongue and every pinch of his fingers.

"Derek, please. I want to... I want--"

"Hm?" Derek paused his ministrations, keeping his hand busy by running it up and down your side. "What do you want, pretty bug? Tell me."

"I want you to touch me."

"I am touching you."

You whined. "You know what I meant."

With a chuckle, Derek left one last kiss on your breastbone before continuing his erotic journey southward. After sucking a mark underneath your belly button, he started fumbling with the button of your slacks.

"Fucking hell, sweetheart. You're soaked," he mulled out loud once you were free of the confine of your pants.

Even with your panties still standing as a barrier between Derek and your mound, you could feel every breath that Derek blew against your most sensitive part. There was no doubt surrounding the truth behind Derek's words. You could feel your wetness dripping down your thighs. It didn't exactly help that Derek had begun littering tiny kisses around your hip and pelvic bones.

When his lips made contact with your clothed core, the strangled moan you let out almost sounded animalistic.

"You taste so good," Derek said before diving in once again. "I could spend an eternity between your legs and die a very happy man."

"That's nice, but I don't want you to die just yet."

You tugged at his neck to bring his face back to yours, pressing both of your lips together in another heated kiss that had your toes curling inward.

"No more playing, please. I need you inside me right now," you rasped desperately.

"I still need to get you ready for me, sweetheart." Derek pecked your lips once more. "Why don't you lie back and relax, hm?"

Gingerly, you followed Derek's instruction. He made a quick work of removing your panties before his deft fingers began exploring your folds.

"So wet for me."

He inserted one finger at first, two, and then three inside your pulsing channel. It was a bit of a stretch, tight but not uncomfortable. Derek slid them in and out of you until you turned into a panting mess underneath him.

"Derek--"

He shushed you gently. "I know, Bug. I know."

He worked as if he was a musician and you were his favorite piece of instrument. The heel of his palm found solace on top of your bundle of nerves, drawing circles over and over again to the rhythm of his fingers inside of you.

Before long, you could feel the coil inside of your body snapping, sending your whole entire being shaking as you fell to the edge of a newfound ecstasy.

Throughout all of it, Derek kept his fingers sliding in and out of you, helping you ride your orgasm until your body had finally stopped spasming.

When you opened your eyes, you were welcomed with Derek's awed smile and warm eyes.

"Hi, gorgeous," you murmured breathlessly, still floating along the aftermath of your earlier pinnacle.

"Hey," he whispered back, kissing your temple with the most delicate of touches. "How are you feeling?"

"Blisfully sated."

Derek laughed at your overtly honest answer.

"Are you tired?" he then asked. "Because we don't have to do anything else if you feel--"

"Derek Morgan, I swear to God. If you try to talk me out of this one more time..."

His responding grin was mischievous. "Yes, ma'am."

After one last kiss to your lips, Derek started lining himself up with your entrance. The sensation of his tip pressing against you awakened the momentarily satiated hunger inside your lower belly. And when he finally entered you--slowly but surely--you could physically feel the air being punched right out of your lungs.

"Oh my God," you breathed out once he had filled you to the brim. "You're huge."

"And you're so fucking tight."

He pulled out his length until only his tip was left inside before driving back in with enough force to shatter your entire world. In no time at all, Derek had finally found a steady rhythm. Moving in and out of you while his lips and hands paid attention to the other parts of your body.

"Derek, Derek, Derek," you moaned his name endlessly, relishing every drag of his member against the pulsating muscles of your inner wall.

You could feel every ridge of him inside of you, along with every brush of kisses that he scattered all over your skin, every lazy drag of fingers on the curvatures of your body. All of your senses had been heightened around the presence of him.

"So fucking beautiful. Fuck. Such a good bug for me, hm? So desperate for my cock that you couldn't even wait to sober up."

The heat of Derek's words fueled your fire even further. You began to writhe underneath him, scrambling to make sure that every inch of you was touching every part of him.

"Tell me how good I'm making you feel," Derek ordered between his thrusts.

"So good, Derek. Oh God, you feel so good inside of me. Please, please, please."

Your desperation was the motivation he needed. Derek shifted you both until he was on his knees and your body lying halfway across his lap. When he continued to move again, the vigor of his pace nearly had you seeing stars.

"You feel like heaven, pretty bug. So tight and warm. Bet no one can fuck you as good as I do."

"No one, Derek. No one."

"Are you close, sweetheart? Hm? Tell me how close you are."

"I'm close. So close," you cried out. "I'm gonna... Derek, I'm gonna--"

As if he was reading your mind, Derek brought down his fingers and started drawing tight circles on your clit. All the while, he never relented the pace he had set inside your pussy.

"You wanna cum?" Derek groaned as he continued to nudge you further towards the edge.

You blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over, nodding your head frantically.

"Use your words, Bug."

"Yes, yes. I wanna cum. Please, Derek, make me cum."

And just like that, Derek sent a powerful thrust that had your toes curling, ears buzzing, and body shuddering.

Your second orgasm washed over you in big, tidal waves. A silent scream broken into desperate pleas and moans as you rode the high with Derek still inside of you. It didn't take long for him to follow behind. The sensation of you cumming around him became the very thread of his own undoing.

He spilled everything he had inside of you before his spent body fell into your arms. The air was heavy with the smell of sex and the panting of both of your breaths. You reveled in the aftermath of what just transpired, running your hands up and down the muscular back of the person responsible for your satisfied smile.

When Derek finally lifted his head up, he was adorning a smile identical to the one you had.

"That was--" you started, but struggled to find the right word to say.

Fortunately, Derek knew exactly what you meant. "Yes. Yes, it was."

He left a single kiss, then two, and three under your breast, before resting his chin back on the soft cushion of your abdomen.

"Derek?"

"Hm?"

You smiled at his tired hum. "You're sleepy, aren't you?"

"No," he replied, betraying the slight droop in his voice.

"That's okay. Go to sleep, baby."

You weren't even sure that Derek had heard your last statement, because not even two seconds later, he had started snoring softly against your skin.

Slowly as to not disturb the sleeping giant on top of your body, you pulled the comforter and tugged the edge across Derek's shoulders. Before long, you, too, were slipping into the deep slumber with Derek's steady intakes of breath as your lullaby.

Derek's weight on top of you was an anchor, one that you could have never dreamed of physically having outside of your hopeless fantasies. But Derek was real, and he was there with you in the comfort of your bedroom.

For a moment, everything was alright with the world. But then again, this was only the beginning of an unforeseen end. And as much as you wanted to convince yourself otherwise, you knew that inevitably, something was bound to go wrong.

You just hoped that when it did, you would have the strength to make it all right again.

#derek morgan #derek morgan x reader #derek morgan smut #derek morgan fanfiction #derek morgan fic #derek morgan fluff #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds x reader #shemar moore #love bugs

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jjunis-moved · 3 years ago

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ghosting — 43.5. angry emos forever

a/n: a lil bonus yntyun just to address taehyun's issue even though it wasn't too big of a deal!! idk i just wanted to WRITE. anw double update today, i'll post 44 later <3

warnings: mentions of toxic parents, bffies being cUTE, this hasn't been properly proofread bc ur girl is a mess ✌

word count: 1.4k

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if you like this fic, please consider reblogging the chapter to help with the algorithm! 🥰

You've always found comfort in Taehyun's arms. To you, he's home, he's safety, he's warmth. What you don't usually think about, though, is the fact that you represent the same things to him.

He's always trying to put on a front, act like he's stronger and bigger than any problems thrown his way, but behind his façade, there's a fragility that only those who are close enough can see. Moreover, he can lie to anyone but you, especially since the last heartfelt conversation you two shared, when everything became clearer and deeper between the two of you. So, even if he had maintained a good act through texts — which he didn't —, you would've noticed something was off as soon as he got home.

Thankfully, though, he agreed to go for a stroll with you, and you took the opportunity to buy snacks and some ingredients you could use for dinner later. After stalling for a while, the two of you came back to his house and prepared said snacks so you could take them upstairs and watch some random videos together on YouTube.

You still haven't asked him about whatever's going through his mind, you're just waiting for the moment when he'll be ready to talk about it. You don't wanna pressure him, just like he wouldn't pressure you. When it comes to him, all you need to give is a little love and a little patience, and eventually he'll open up.

And, truth be told, you're still a little shaken by your mom. Though you didn't break down in tears, which is something you definitely owe to Beomgyu and Hueningkai today, the conversation still irked you to the point of poking your anxiety and leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. You're still feeling a little fidgety, still making up scenarios in your head. What if your parents decide to show up at the Kangs' house? You highly doubt your dad would make a scene in front of Taehyun's family, but you know they'd find a way to drag you out of there, and you know the dynamic between you and your dad will change for the worse if you ever show up in front of him again. You're tarnishing his reputation as a father by not going back home, and you're sure his friends will find a way to gossip about him somehow if they haven't already.

When Taehyun lays his head on your shoulder and lets you run your fingers through his blond hair, though, you figure he might be feeling relaxed enough to maybe talk about it. Both of you are sitting on his bed, with your backs against the wall, and soon you hear a sigh escaping from his lips.

"Want another hug?" You offer, but he shakes his head.

"I wanna stay like this. Just wanna stay quiet for a little longer," he murmurs, probably sensing where you were going with that. He knows you better than the palm of his own hand, after all.

So you just quietly hum, while still twirling some strands of his hair between your fingers. A random movie review is playing on the screen of his laptop, which is set right in front of you, and both of you keep your eyes fixed there for the time being.

When the video comes to an end a few minutes later, you decide to try again.

"So…" You trail off, slightly nudging at him.

"It's really nothing, noona," he insists before you even get the question out, "I just… I'm stressed out. I don't think I did well on that test today, my head is just so full of other stuff lately and I'm tired."

Yup, you know all about that, because "stuff" is mostly your stuff right now. You know damn well you're bringing more weight on his shoulders and it's not fair.

"I'm sorry, baby," you mumble. "You shouldn't have to deal with all of this."

"No, I– I'm not blaming you. I wanna keep you safe, and you'd do the same for me. But it is stressful for both of us. We suddenly have to become actual adults, think about money and getting a job, and juggle all of that with our college stuff and all the pressure… It takes a toll on us. I know it's affecting you too and I don't want you to feel bad about it, I really don't. That's why I wanted to stay away for a few hours." He sits up straight, turning his body just enough to grab your hands and look into your eyes. "This is not your fault, okay?"

You twist your lips and nod slowly, taking it in. His point is understandable. He has the right to be stressed out, you're not a burden. You need to repeat that to yourself. You're not being a nuisance. It's not your fault. He's doing the same thing you'd do for him. You'd do anything in a heartbeat, and you need to let him do it for you too.

"No, don't do that. Don't start overthinking," he says softly and gently soothes the wrinkles caused by the way you just frowned without even noticing. "Please don't. I'm glad we're getting you to a safer place. We'll be happier when all of this is over, but let me sulk a little bit first. I deserve it too, you know?" He tries to joke about it, but you still end up pouting.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, noona. Come here." He lets go of your hands and pulls you into a tight hug. "Look, you're sad and stressed out, and so am I. You can sulk with me, and we can be mad. Hey, we can be 'angry emos' together or whatever it is that you would say."

You let out a soft chuckle and kiss his cheek, focusing on the energy he brings you rather than the one you've been carrying.

"Okay," you agree, "let's be angry emos together."

"Good. Now, how about you tell me what happened today?"

"Oh… Uh, my– my mom texted, she wants me to go back home and 'talk things out', and I had to cut her off," you sum it up. "It made me anxious, but Beomgyu kept me company, and then Hyuka stayed on Discord with me until you got back, so… it was bearable." You shrug it off. "I don't really wanna talk about it right now, though. I can show you the texts later, but for now, I just wanna stay with you and help you feel better. You can do the same for me, I guess."

Bringing it up right now will probably just get you anxious again, and you'd rather enjoy your time with him than waste it over something that you seriously need to get over. Your parents can't reach you right here, right now, so you're allowed to give yourself a break.

He furrows his eyebrows and silence falls for a few seconds, but in the end he doesn't insist on the topic. His arms let go of you and his lips leave a quick, gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Okay. But I'm here for you, alright?"

"And I'm here for you." You offer him your right pinky, and he links his own to it. "Angry emos forever."

Your best friend lets out a short laugh.

"I don't know about angry emos forever, but yeah. You and me forever."

"Hey," you start, with a smile sprouting on your face, "we could get Hyuka to come over and play some games with us, how does that sound? He deserves it, right?"

His lips mirror your smile almost immediately. Everything might be a huge mess right now, but at least you still have each other.

"Yeah. But let's just watch another video first, okay? I need to recharge my brain. Then we can invite him over and maybe tell him to stay for dinner with us and my family. It's easier to buy him with food than with friendship, to be honest," he proposes, leaving you with no choice but to agree. Sometimes the youngest of your little group thinks with his stomach more than with his brain.

After clicking on another movie review, he hooks his arm to yours and leans on your shoulder once again, and the two of you allow yourselves to just be there for now.

permanent taglist (open): @joti17 @shanice-1104 @soobin-chois @dear20cm @startlinejjuni @gorechoi @strawbrinkofdeath @etherealcherrie @en-boyz @todorokiskitten @ja4hyvn @yeppeudau @carayat @lvxbbh @dubaddunat @luvrjn @spiderlilyfics

ghosting taglist (open): @viscoolreal @msxflower @helianthes @whereisgyu @paragonofroyalty @m00nylup1n @b1u3hour @solarswonderland @rlajjunie @nshitae @beomgyugyu @bettyschwallocksyee @gyusteez @butterflx @nyangjjunie @zukkook @yaesflorist @theoskies @hwasatiny @sadcosmicdoggie @fallingforya @darrensos @jeondolly @neozon3nha @multifandomizer @spiderlilyfics @athousandandonefandoms @lordduckass

bold means i couldn't tag you for some reason!

#k-radio!#ficscafe #txt smau #beomgyu #beomgyu smau #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu fanfic #txt x reader #social media au #youtuber beomgyu #tomorrow x together smau #college au #frenemies to lovers #friends to lovers #*ghosting

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skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru · 5 years ago

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SFW ALPHABET A-Z

Gojo Satoru Edition 💙

note: I just want to thank everyone for making this blog hit 500+ followers. Never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have a writing blog and a one that is so supported and loved. I love everyone single of my followers and readers who took the time to read my content. English isn’t my first language so I struggle a lot when writing since I make a lot of typos and I barely have any writing skills. Even though I reread it to check I still manage to find some typos so I’m constantly editing, even my old posts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have no idea how happy each comment or reblogs makes me, I love reading what you guys think. I will continue to work hard for you guys and the jkk community! Please look forward to future updates my lovelies! ❤

A= Admiration (How do they admire you? What is their thoughts about you? What is their reaction in meeting you for the first time? Do they instantly like you?)

Gojou loves staring at you and he's not afraid if he gets caught.

Even if you're doing chores or you're laughing with the first years. You could of just woken up with messy hair, drool dried on the corner of your mouth and he'll still think you're the most beautiful person in the world.

When he stares at you it's as if the world slows down and everyone goes in slow motion. He'll notice the twinkle in your eyes or how you suddenly shifted to your right. As he's in a trace where his hearts flutters at the sight of you.

His Six Eyes will notice even the tiniest detail about you.

Even in a crowded room his eyes will immediately try to find your form. You're the first person he seeks whenever and wherever.

He likes to boast about you to everyone, especially his students. You're his lover and he's proud to have you.

To him, you're his equal, his safe haven. You're the only person he can truly let his guard down with. You love him not because "he's the strongest shaman" but just as "Satoru" and that's something he thinks about that makes him feel all warm inside.

You're his everything, he wouldn't know what would he do if he ever loses you. If Gojou truly loves you he will fully commit to it.

You and Gojou didn't exactly start off on the right foot.

You thought he was too arrogant and annoying.

While he thought you were weak and boring.

You quickly proved that wrong, and his perception of you changed. He would often tease you and find opportunities to spar with you.

You slowly started to grow on each other from rivals to lovers.

He's still annoying though.

B= Bestie (Do they act like best friends while dating? How comfortable are they with you?)

Why absolutely! You guys are lovers at the same time bestfriends.

Gojou is very comfortable around you. He's pretty confident man already but when he's around you there's no breaks for this man.

He will do the wackiest and craziest things just see you laugh and smile.

You both tell each other everything, such as recent turn of events or even student gossip. He loves to gossip.

You can expect him to wake you up at 2 am just to go to McDonald's while blasting music from the car while you both sing on top of your lungs.

Of course there will be moments where both have arguments or disagreements but they don't last long. They get solved pretty easily.

"Wanna get icecream?"

"Fine, but you're playing."

Gojou can be quite obnoxious at times and you're not afraid to let him know. He doesn't listen and still annoy you anyways.

But now you should be used to his antics and don't take them too seriously.

There is no such thing as a boundary for this man.

He can literally become your safe haven during sad times or hell as he tickles you until you cry.

C= Cuddles (How often do they cuddle? How are they when they cuddle? What cuddle position do they like best? Are they the Big Spoon or Little Spoon?)

If he could, Gojou would always want to be cuddling with you. Whenever and wherever you both are.

He loves the feeling of having you in his arms or him in your arms. His home is where your arms are. It's one of the moments where his Infinity isn't activated.

He wrap his long limps around you and bring you as physically close as possible so he can nuzzle against you or press kisses to you.

Whenever he's in a cuddling mood or he's feeling stressed he'll come to find you and pull you to the nearest chair. He'll have you sit in his lap while he embraces you tightly. He won't go until he's satisfied too!

He usually prefers to be the bigger spoon, he likes the idea that you're safe within his arms. Sometimes he'll just stare at you while you sleep, smiling to himself as he drifts off to sleep.

If you're both in bed you must cuddle! It's a rule he made up.

He doesn't being the little spoon either, he loves the feeling of when you playing with hair. He truly feels comfortable and vulnerable within your arms.

He can't decide with position he likes best, he just likes the feeling of your body close to his.

D= Domestic (Are they willing to settle down with you? Are they willing to do chores? What do you two do at home?)

Gojou never thought he would settle down. That is until he met you!

With his busy and dangerous lifestyle, he thought he would spend the rest of his days alone.

Being with him, is a huge risk. The higher ups or the enemies would use you as a bargaining chip.

After lots of convincing, that you'll promise to be by his side forever. You'll have his heart now and forever.

Gojou when he's at home...he's lazy. He'll be munching on some snacks, lying on the sofa while you hang the laundry.

Somedays he's tired from work, so you let him be but if he really isn't doing anything. Some threats work really well on him.

"If you don't don't do the laundry, you're sleeping on the sofa tonight!"

"Then I'm off to do it!"

Having growing up with servants, he's not used to doing household chores.

But he will try, because he doesn't want you take take on the full workload. Teach him, he's a fast learner!

At home, within your arms is where he feels safest. Majority of the time you two would be in contact with each other one way or another.

You're watching tv? He's sitting you with his arm around your shoulder. If you're cooking, he'll come and unexpectedly hug you from behind. This man craves your touch.

Watching movies or television is something you both do very often, you'll both be snuggled up together, while Gojou throws commentary here and there.

Cooking or baking is another thing you both do. Majority of the time you both rarely get to spend together due to Gojou's work schedule. Who ever arrives home first will have to make dinner. However, you two are both at home you both help each other make a delicious dessert or meal. Nothing like eating a home cooked meal together.

Playing video games together is a must! You're his player number 2. He's very competitive so if he wins, it's non stop boasting but if he loses he demands an immediate rematch. Mario Kart or Super Smash Brothers is some the common ones you both play.

E= Endeavor (Are they supportive in you trying to do something? Will they help you reach for it?)

Gojou Satoru is known to be your literal hype man.

He will be very supportive of you and what you're trying to accomplish. As long as it's not something like becoming a murder. He's gonna have to do a double take on that.

If you're gonna become a piano, he'll have a grand piano delivered straight to your home. If you're gonna become an artist, he will buy you the best art supplies.

As they say "live your life to the fullest" and Gojou completely agrees with that statement.

If you're trying to learn something new, he will be encouraging you. There are times where he can be a little but don't take it to heart. He just wants you to improve and sugarcoating things isn't always the best way to improve.

If you're feeling down but you're trying to achieve, he'll be there to comfort you and motivate you.

"Things won't always go your way, but I promise I'll be there to cheer you on."

If you're trying to learn a new skill, he might have a go at it too. He's a fast learner but if he doesn't or can't do something, he'll just blame it on the fact that if he does it then he's gonna become perfect so he chooses not to. It's just to save his huge ego.

F= Fights (How often do you guys fight? Who apologizes first? How long will the fight last? What is the reason behind the fight?)

You guys argue pretty often but they're mostly about trival issues. Like Gojou forgot to take out the trash or who cooks today.

If you both do fight seriously. It would definitely have to do with "work". Because of Gojou's busy schedule you're not sure when will he be back home or when he will be gone. If you both have very different schedules it would definitely lead to some misunderstandings.

If you realize you did something wrong you'll apologize to him right away. While he spouts things like "I told you so!" but he's only teasing.

If he realizes he did something wrong it'll take him a while for him to admit it. Depending on the seriousness of the situation his apology will differ.

If it's something trivial, he'll just pepper you with kisses while says sorry a hundred times.

If it's serious, he'll fully embrace you and apologize, straight to the point no needless words.

Trivial fights don't last long but serious one may take time. Depending on who's wrong or right.

Gojou is a stubborn person so even if he's wrong it'll take him a while to admit it. Maybe days or a week but no longer than that. After all he can't resist not being around you.

G= Guard (Are they protective of you? How protective are they? Are they willing to risk themselves to save you?)

This depends whether you're a shaman or a civilian.

If you are a civilian, he will be very protective of you. You don't have the ability to see curses so who knows what or when can hurt you.

He'll take sure to put lots of talismans and barriers around your home for safety.

Gojou due to his busy work schedule won't always be home or be around you. During these days he's worried sick about you.

He'll be sure to message or call you whenever he can to check up on you.

If he truly senses you're in danger, no matter what he'll go to you instantly. After that happens he'll more frightened of losing you and might resort to leaving you.

Despite how much he loves you, you're life is more precious than him. He can't risk that by being around you.

If you're a shaman just like him, he won't be as protective over you. He'll understand and trust that you'll be able to defend yourself.

He'll make sure to spar with you so that you won't lose in touch in fighting.

Even though he knows you can take care of yourself, in his heart he still worries for you. So he may or may not pop up randomly during your missions and exorcise the curse immediately.

You may end up getting annoyed or mad at him because you may think he thinks you're weak but that's not the case. He just loves you and worries about you.

Whether you're a civilian or shaman, Gojou will 100% risk his life to save you. He's lost so many people, he can't afford lose you too.

If you're out in public, he'll be sure to be holding your hand or have an arm around your waist. He'll glare at anyone who looks at you funny through his sunglasses.

Gojou has a massive presence so good luck to anyone who tries to approach you. They gotta get through him first.

H= Healing (What is their reaction in you getting hurt? Do they get hurt often? Do they help you patching you up? Or do they not know how to patch you up, and tries their hardest?)

Gojou hates seeing you hurt in anyway. Even if it's a tiny wound. It's kinda like if you're hurt he's hurt too. That's his way of thinking.

If you get injured during a mission, you can bet Gojou will be all over you.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"For the hundred time, yes..."

Despite your assurance that are fine, he'll still insist to take you to Shoko just to be safe.

If it's a trivial wound like you accidentally cut yourself or you stubbed your toe. Gojou will be the one to take care of the wound. He does have basic knowledge on how to treat wounds.

If it's a severe wound, he'll instantly bring you to Shoko. He'll teleport all the way from Hokkaido to Tokyo if he has to.

He doesn't know how to use the Reverse Cursed Technique but at the moment when you're dying in his arms he will try his best to.

He will literally become your human shield if he knows things are dire.

If he sees an enemy wound you, well it's gonna be game over for the enemy. Instant oblivion.

It is known that Gojou has his Infinity activated at all times, so he doesn't ever get hurt whether from missions or trivial issues.

Very rare but when he does turn off his Infinity he can get hurt but it's because he let's it happen.

He still gets sick from time to time because that's something his Infinity can't protect him from.

I= Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do you two often go on dates?)

Gojou as we all know is very affectionate and romantic person.

He's very cheesy and likes to tease you just to see you blush.

He can't keep his hands off of you, he has to be touching you even just by lacing your fingers together. He also likes to stand near you often behind you or right beside you.

Gojou goes all over Japan for his missions and he makes sure to always bring a souvenir home for you whether it's a little trinket or something you'll like. Definitely will buy sweets, he'll share just a little though.

You'll often be surprised with deliveries of bouquets at work addressed to you but not written from who but you know who it is.

This man is extremely rich, so you ever have an eye on something, he'll secretly buy it for you.

When you're cold, he'll give you his jacket or hug you to keep you warm. If you're feeling hot under the sun, use this man as your personal shade. He doesn't mind.

It's rare for the both of you to have day offs at the same time so it's always something special to him.

He'll either take you out shopping or a cafe date.

He loves going around Tokyo with you to different places and secretly takes pictures of you when you're not looking.

If you don't feel like going anywhere he's fine with just cuddling you while watching a movie.

Gojou just has a sense for you if you're feeling down or stressed. He'll instantly know and would try to make you feel better.

He can cook your favorite meal or even give you a massage.

He's not shy to show the world how much he loves you, everyone in the Jujutsu society knows about you two.

J= Jealousy (How often do they get jealous? Do they get easily jealous? How will they react?)

Gojou doesn't get jealous easily. He trusts you and knows the things you do and won't do. However, on rare occasions it does happen but he won't directly voice it out.

"I'm the strongest most handsome shaman ever!" But behind that he still has insecurities. It usually depends on the person you're interacting with. If he sees you getting a little too close to someone, he'll step inーcausally stepping in between the two of you. A hand around your waist around strangers and a full on back hug around people he knows.

If a stranger tries to pick you up, he'll swoop right in towering the poor stranger. He knows he's attractive and he knows show to use it.

"Pay attention to me (Y/N), not Nanami!.

"Satoru, we're talking the recent sighting of a grade 1 cursed spirit."

Afterwards he'll just be very whiny and needy, he wants your full attention on him and him only!

K= Kissing (Do they like kissing you? Are they shy or confident in kissing you?)

Gojou Satoru loves all forms of affection. Kissing being one of them.

Gojou has had experience with kissing so he knows what he's doing. One moment he'll be kissing you sweetly then it turns into a full blown make out session.

He's not embarrassed about kissing you in public. Despite the Japanese culture of being conservative of PDA. He won't be making out with you in front of the entire crosswalk but he'll give you pecks or smooches that last a moment or two.

Whenever he leaves for work, he'll always ask for his goodbye kiss or when he's back home he'll be eagerly waiting for your kiss.

Whenever you both pass by each other whether at home or at school, he'll press a chaste kiss to you.

His tongue is divine, he definitely knows how to use his tongue. You can bet he knows how to tie a cherry into a knot using just his tongue.

You will always taste something sweet lingering on him as you kiss him.

He doesn't have a specific type of kiss he likes, he likes them all as long as they're with you. Forehead kisses, cheek kisses, eskimo kisses you name it!

He will definitely will to try out all forms of kisses with you.

L= Love (Who drops the L-word first? Would they rather say it or do it?)

Love is a complicated feeling, Gojou hasn't felt that before with any of his past relationships.

That was until he met you. That's when he realized that what the feeling was.

You were cuddling in bed together, face to face. There was no talking just silence as the two of you stare deeply into each other's eyes. Only the light of the moonlight peaking through the curtains illuminating the room.

Gojou stares into your eyes with a soft smile on his face as he gently lays his hand on your cheek.

Your eyes held the universe within them, the universe that is you and it's staring back at him with so much love and affection within them. He feels the warmth spread throughout his body. He whispers softly "I love you..." as his own eyes reflect yours.

You gasp with eyes widening, processing the words he spoke. You feel your eyes well up in tears, as your cheeks warm. You place your hand over his and whisper back "I love you too.." smiling brightly at him.

That was the moment when he first told you he loved you, it was so genuine and raw.

Afterwards he'll always voice out that he loves you but of course he shows it as well. He'll call you beautiful while pressing a kiss to your forehead.

M= Marriage (How do they propose to you? What’s their ideal wedding like? Where do you plan it?)

Gojou is a very spontaneous man, I can imagine him doing it during the most mundane and random moments. Such as after you're both walking home from a date or maybe it's late into the night while you're both cuddling.

Maybe moments where you're hurt or if he almost lost you.

"Marry me, (Y/N)..."

It's just a spur of the moment kind of thing, when he's the most vulnerable. When he realizes "ah, I want to spend the rest of my life with this person..."

Gojou is pretty flexible with the kind of wedding he wants. He doesn't really have a dream wedding.

The elders of his clan would definitely bug him for a Traditional one as it is customary.

However, if you want a Western style wedding instead he will definitely go for it.

Mostly likely, you both will have two weddings one traditional and western.

Money is different not an issue with this man. Say the word and you shall receive. It's definitely going to be extravagant.

Whether you want to or not he'll find a way to splurge his money.

If the elders are opposed to your marriage you'll both will just have a private wedding, inviting the people closest to you guys.

Not marrying you because someone said no is not an option for him.

N= Nicknames (What do they call you? Do they call you these in public as well? How often do they call you in nicknames?)

Gojou has a variety of nicknames for you!

Ranging from the typical baby, babe, sweetie, darling and honey.

Or something more sweet such as princess/prince, my love, my dearest.

And there's those really cringey ones such as sugarpie, cupcake, my strawberry cheesecake.

He will literally call you by any dessert name.

"Hey, my kikufuku!" Yup, that's you.

If you're shorter than him you can add shorty, short stuff or munchkin to the list.

When he uses them usually depends on the situation. If he's feeling really affectionate or needy he'll be using the really sweet nicknames.

Sometimes he'll even come up with the most ridiculous ones as much as it embarrasses you.

Usually he'll just call you using the common nicknames. He will only use your real name during serious situations.

He's not shy about proclaiming you as his chocolate cupcake. Not even in front of his students or colleagues.

"Are you referring to (L/N) sensei?" "Bingo!"

You've tried to beg him to stop but the man doesn't listen.

O= Open (How open are they with you? Are they willing to share their secrets and past with you? Do they trust you?)

Gojou despite being a man who loves to talk does not like talking about his private life or his past.

It's very personal information to him and he doesn't want the information to fall into the wrong hands.

If anyone asks about it he'll either ignore the question or answer it very vaguely.

You would have to be someone has spent years by his side to be to attain that level of trust with you.

There are some things in his past that isn't easy to talk about, even though it doesn't bother him now. If you ask he will tell you about it briefly.

If it's information not regarding his secrets or his past, he doesn't sharing those details. If you wanna about his mission or want to check his phone, he will let you. He has nothing to hide except the secret pictures he takes of you.

He in return trusts you as well, but he won't pry into things you don't want to talk about.

If you manage to gain his trust enough for him to reveal personal information about him, don't break it. If you do, you will never be able to gain it back.

P= PDA (Are they into PDA? Do they often do it? Their reaction if you hold their hands or kiss them in public.)

Gojou is into PDA but he doesn't flaunt it as often as you think. He won't be making out with you in the middle of the school hallway but he will press chaste kisses to you.

He's not afraid to hug you or hold your hand around the faculty or students.

He won't do something inappropriate in public he likes to keep that in private. Through sometimes he will because he likes seeing you embarrassed while you desperately ask him to stop. Trying not to gain the attention of the people around you.

He also likes seeing the reactions of other people when he does display affection towards you but mostly he does it to see your cute reactions.

If you initiate hand holding with him, he will definitely hold your hand back tightly. If you kiss him, he'll be surprised but then he's quick to tease you about it.

"Oya, is my cupcake getting bold～?"

If anyone looks at you two with disgust he will yell out "you got a problem?"

He's not shy to show the world he loves you.

Q= Quirk (Do they find your quirks adorable or odd? Do they tell you or not? Do they have a quirk of their own?)

Nothing escapes his keen eyesight. He'll notice and remember a lot of your quirks even the ones you're unconsciously doing.

He thinks its absolutely adorable, like how you furrow your eyebrows in concentration how you pout when you're deep in thought.

All these little quirks make you who you are and he adores them.

Gojou will tell you about them of course, even if you try to deny it. If you don't believe he'll try to take a picture to show you which ends up making you really embarrassed.

"I can't help it, I don't even know that I'm doing that..." you whisper with a blush on your face.

Gojou has a quirk of fiddling with his blindfold or his sunglasses if he's wearing them.

Definitely a fan of putting his hands in his jacket or hands while he stands or walks. He doesn't like the feeling of his hands being empty.

R= Reliable (Are they loyal? How loyal are they? Are they there for you when you need someone?)

Gojou is a very honest and down to earth kind of guy. Of course, loyalty is something he firmly commits to.

Cheating is something he won't resort to at all costs. No woman or man is tempting enough for him to be swayed.

We all know he is a good looking guy, he's bound to attract suitors anywhere but he'll turn them all down. He already has you, why would he need anyone else?

There are times where you might feel insecure or jealous but Gojou will always be there to assure you not to. He'll do his best to comfort you, until you're smiling again.

"You're the only one I need..."

During these times he'll even share his precious sweets with you. He'll feed you cake while hugging you from behind.

Have faith in him because whenever you need him, he'll make sure to be there.

S= Solace (How do they comfort you? Do they immediately notice you being sad?)

Gojou just has sense whenever you're feeling sad, even though you try your hardest to hide it.

He just sees through your facade. He won't ask if you're okay when he clearly knows you'll try to lie about it.

If you're trying to avoid him, he'll either pin you against the wall or pull you into his embrace.

He'll be silent as he takes off his blindfold to stare deep into your eyes, how could you lie when those eyes are looking straight at you.

He won't ask you about what's bothering you but he will always be there to comfort you.

Gojou would pull you into his lap on his expensive chair and cradle you like child as he gently caresses your hair.

Ligerning forehead kisses is also he does to comfort you.

Gojou would also bring his sweets stash and slowly feed you some while he hugs you from behind. If you want food, he'll be glad to cook up your favorite meal.

He knows a lot of cringy and cheesy jokes, in which ends up with him laughing at his own jokes. His laughter is contagious so wouldn't be able to hold back a smile after that.

T= Turn-off (What do they dislike in people? What is their turn-off?)

Gojou hates the old way of thinking he finds in elders especially the elders of his clan and the jujutsu society.

He doesn't like anything anything serious or boring. If you're too uptight, he'll find a way to break that.

Another thing he hates is when people do something behind his back or say something behind his back. If you have something to say, then say it straight it to him.

Routine is another thing he dislikes, he's very spontaneous and looks for the fun in things.

He dislikes vegetables and anything bitter. He's a lover of sweets afterall!

Prying too much into his personal life, as proud as he isーhe doesn't like going around talking much about his private life or his past.

U= Umbrageous (Do they easily get offended by what you said? How will they react when you get hurt by what they said?)

Now if you mean playful gets offended then the answer would be yes. If you're seriously trying to offend him, he won't. He's not the type to take things like that to heart.

Call him an idiot, a narcissist, he will playful hold his chest in pain and whine to you while he pouts.

He'll even tease you back if he feels like it.

"Sorry, did you say something～?"

Even though he doesn't take insults to heart, if you use his past against him, he will take offense to it. His past is something he doesn't want to bring up so if you or anyone brings it up. That changes things.

He tries to keep the optimism but he's only human with emotions so there will be times you could offend him.

If you managed to offend him, he'll be unusually quiet as he dwells on your words.

He won't resort to anger but that doesn't mean he won't at times. That's when he's firing insults back you, blinded by rage. He will regret it afterwards though.

V= Vision (What do they imagine their future? What is their dream? Do they want to spend it with you?)

If Gojou truly loves you, he'll definitely would want to spend the rest of his life with you by his side. Somewhere where he doesn't have to be on guard and would always welcome him with open arms.

Yet at the same time he is afraid of the dangers that come associated with him. If you're a civilian he'll try to distance himself away from you. He's afraid one day when he's not around, someone might come after you. His world is completely different from that of a normal person's afterall.

If you work in the same field as him. He'll definitely be more reluctant to push you away, because he knows you can handle yourself. It lessens his worries.

Still life as a shaman is still as dangerous, you're putting your lives at risk every time you go on a mission. The thought of losing you scares him to the very core.

Despite that he still loves you and if can't be with you he would like to associated with you someway maybe as acquaintances or friends.

He dreams of a world without cursed spirits, where he can live a peaceful life, settle down and start a family with you.

In a world crowded with darkness he dreams of a single ray of solace that is you.

Someone that will stay by his side no matter how difficult it will be.

W= Wacky (What is their reaction in you doing something crazy? Will they join you or stop you?)

Gojou Satoru is a man child, he does the most ridiculous of things like wearing a skirt of a highschool student.

If you're the type of person who's just as energetic and wild as him, it's going to be chaos.

You both will pull pranks on the students and faculty. Poor Ijichi being one of your primary targets.

If you're the type of person who's more on the serious side then he'll be shocked by your suggestion.

But of course he's willing to join in whatever plot you have.

Gojou already gives the higher ups a headache, if you're added to the mix it's going to end up being a massive headache.

He lost count of the amount of times he got scolded by Principal Yaga.

He can come up with the wildest ideas and sometimes you will have to become his break.

Principal Yaga specifically asked you to keep him in check after all.

X= Xtra (Random Headcannon about them)

Gojou Satoru has a driver's license. In fact he even owns several cars.

Of course, they're all the expensive ones because he thinks they look cool.

Does he use them? Not that often, when you literally have the ability to teleport or have Ijichi to drive you around.

As you expect he's a fast driver, you will literally be griping your seatbelt for dear life. It looks like he's gonna crash but he won't. He just likes to scare you.

Of course there's a stash of candy and extra pairs of sunglasses in the glovebox.

Gojou is surprisingly a great cook. You would think being raised with servants he wouldn't know how to cook but he does.

He studies the recipe very carefully and cooks. It's as if he has a natural talent for cooking.

At first, you were pretty skeptical of his cooking but once you had of bite of his dish. You could feel the literal flavors explode on your tongue.

When it's his turn for him to cook, expect him to be wearing a cute apron while blasting music from his speaker.

He'll be singing and dancing in the kitchen.

Hug him from behind while he cooks and he'll melt right then and there. Trying to hide a blush from you.

Y= Yearning (Do they long for you? Will they find themselves missing you while you’re away? If so, how will they cope with it?)

Even though you haven't seen each other for a day he terribly miss you. Your just gives him warm and when you're not there he feels cold.

He goes on missions very often and they can last days or even weeks depending on the case. He'll try to update you as much as he can on when he could come home.

Even when he's in the middle of fighting cursed spirits, he'll find his mind wondering towards you.

If he's away from you, you'll be getting calls and texts from him quite frequently. He'll make sure to always greet you good morning or good night and ask how you are.

He'll always ask if you've eaten or not and asks you to send a picture of your meal to prove it to him. He needs to know you're being well fed.

If you think he talks too much he texts just as much. He'll even take random selfies of himself or something interesting he wants you to see.

If you send him a selfie or video he'll save that so fast and save that to his folder. So he can look through them whenever he misses you.

If it's a long mission, he might pack one of your shirts which has your scent so he could take a whiff to calm himself or cuddle as he sleeps.

After a mission if he's not tired yet, he'll video call you every now and then.

He'll try to come back as fast as possible because he doesn't feel complete without your presence.

Z= Zzz (Do they fall asleep easily? Do they move around while sleeping? What sleeping position do they like best?)

If we are talking about the past Gojou, maybe around his youth then no. He had difficulty sleeping because sleeping meant he's vulnerable to attacks.

This is why relies mostly on sweets to stimulate his brain because there are days where he can't sleep at all. His powers drain a lot of energy to keep up.

Once he could run Infinity automatically, he doesn't have any trouble sleeping at all. In fact, he passes out instantly once his head hits the pillow.

The man works hard and goes on tons of missions so of course he's bound to be tired when he gets home.

Gojou Satoru is 190 cm tall so of course he has a large king sized bed at home. He likes having a lot of space but he tends to move around a lot unconsciously.

There have been times where he has fallen off the bed as well.

If you're sleeping with him and want to prevent him from taking all the bed space, you both cuddle that way his limbs are locked on you.

His likes to sleep laying on his back while you lay on your chest or embracing you from behind as you both sleep on your sides.

It's very rare from him to snore but that doesn't mean he doesn't and when he does, it's loud.

However sleeping with him has it's benefits, if you wake up before him you'll be graced by the most angelic view. As he breathes softy while his long white eye lashes remain closed.

If he does wake up you will also be graced by his morning voice which is divine.

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojou satoru #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen gojo #sfw alphabet gojo satoru #jjk gojo #jjk imagines #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #500 followers event #skipps writes

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little-precious-baby · 5 years ago

Text

This 2020...

First of all, I know most of the people did this many days ago but I thought today was like the best for me to say goodbye to this year.

Not to mention that this year has been very difficult, not only for me but for everyone. A pandemic that brought us many changes of which many are not yet comfortable and is understandable. In my case, in this year I have been able to understand many things, I have suffered and had to face other problems, and of course, I enjoyed important moments with my friends and family. My first decision this year I remember was cutting off my bangs without my parents' permission. I was scolded for weeks, even months and yes, I accept that seeing that picture from the first day of the school year is going to haunt me for a long time but I don't regret what I did. Is not a secret that for many of my irl friends, I'm like a little child that needs attention because if you give me your back, probably I'll be cutting my hair or even doing something worse.

As for emotional and friendship issues... I have to admit that I broke friendships in a non-gentle way, there were also discussions over totally stupid topics and not to mention love issues that simply ended up being a failure—a waste of time, to be honest.

While it hasn't been such an easy year, there's something I still don't even regret doing: coming here to Tumblr. My previous account has many years to created here —probably in 2017— however, at that time I didn't try to search much as I got to do this year and I'm glad I did because I met great people. Sadly I doubt at some point to meet you in person, but I hope you keep in mind that you make my days happier with your comments or just being you. I hope our friendship continues and that you all don't get sick of me so easily. Also, I wish you all the best as I know each of you is talented and has the ability to succeed in your lives. <3

Uh, the paragraphs 👉🏼👈🏼

Also I want you to know that this isn't in an specific order and that I hope you don't feel bad with my words.

💙 - @latte-fairytaekwoon

How can I start this without you rejecting my love? <3 You were one of the first people I decided to approach. I remember reading one or two of your works and just thinking "Wow, she writes very well... I'm going to follow her; it's going to be fun and interesting." I was planning not to talk to you at the beginning, to be honest. My end in mind was just to read what you updated and since you were the third account with content I had decided to follow, I thought it was a good plan. But one thing led to another and I decided to talk to you —which you probably regret since I bother you a lot lmao— and yeah, that's how we met and still talk to each other. I also need to mention that whenever I tried to talk to you about my problems or things that overwhelmed me, you always knew what to say to me even if that included to scold me. You always made me come to my senses. Many times I mentioned to you that you were like a mother to me as you "gave me those vibes" but how can you not? While you don't usually show so much affection through direct words of "I love you" "I care you," I feel them when you advise me. It's going to sound too idk, but I really don't regret to met you, Kitty. This looks like a bible and words repeating over and over again but how to show you that I appreciate, admire and love you if I always try to let you know? At this point if you still think I don't care of you, you are dumb 💖 By the way, it's worth mentioning that you and I have a long path together and you'll continue to be attacked with my love, support and jokes. I love you, mom 😗💙

💖 @winterviolet1

To be honest, I feel bad for not remembering how we started talking... I don't remember if I followed you first or if it was the other way around but hey, let's look on the bright side, it was fun to have met you and come together to always annoy Sofie with Hongjoong gifs <3 I hope we can still be little demons together and please, PLEASE, stop killing me 💀 I love when you send me gifs of Jongho because wow, that boy is definitely a daddy and more when he dances —I refuse to deviate from the subject but he jdudbd— but yeah, he kills me even when he just smiles. My point is that when I see those gifs, I went into a state where my mind goes to places that is better not to mention and I blush because yeah, we talk about my bias isbdkddj and I also frustrate because I find myself unable to return the same treatment to you dkdnskd. Ps: Let me know when we'll be demons again <3

💖 @teeztheflag

Your reactions are idejdindd art I feel shy as I know I never got to create a bond big enough to make you call my friend or that you consider me your friend but hey, it was great to talk to you. <3

Atte: the Slyffindor Girl 💀

💖 @twancingyunhoe

ALLYSSA 🥺 Okay, okay, just mention your name and I'll get in cute mode. I remember following you, yet I hadn't dared talk to you much. The safest thing I'd ever said to you was "Hello! I walk by giving love and support!" for days later asking if you were going to adopt me to have adopted Gabby as my sister 🥺 You're a beautiful person who has such a big, beautiful heart that makes me soft. I know I haven't exchanged many words with you this past month, but I hope that's not going to affect the fact that you're important to me. Thank you for accepting me, giving me love and always being so pretty. <3 kith kith

💖 @tinkerbellwoo

You are such a gift to me diejsndis. Since the first time I knew you, you were very kind and lovely to me. You won a part of my heart with your kindness and yeah, I do remember going to your asks and just "Hey, here is a bunch of love from me to you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Also I hope we can be friends" kejebskssi. That was like my way to ask to be one of your closer moots because you were just so cool and I wanted to be friends with the wonderful person I saw had interactions with some of my moots. I'm sorry because I have time without actually having a large conversation with you and is completely my fault... I hope this new year will change that and I can talk more to you 🥺💖

💖 @yungidreamer

My older sister :( I'm so happy I had the opportunity to talk to you 👉🏼👈🏼 I still don't forget that you once used the dissapointed card with meeee, your little cute princess angel baby sister. I have cero regrets welcome you into my big, not normal, Tumblr family because yeah, probable we aren't the same but at the same time we are the same, if you know what I mean 👀 I hope we can have more conversations between each other because I know is very interesting to talk to you but at the same time I'm so shy :(

💖 @yunderland / @shangri-woo

How can I began this? Ksbsdusbs First, I need ti be honest. I do have my thirst times and well, I read many of your works in ghost mode 👉🏼👈🏼 I was kinda shy to just idk, interact kdidbdkd. Also I began to see you interact with Amelie and was funny and I began to think "What happens if I do try to be friends with her?" but also "What if she doesn't like how I am? I ccan be a bother some times...". And yeah, I was thinking that for maybe two days until I decided to make a move. I followed you and I said "Hi 👉🏼👈🏼 I saw you talking with Amelie... You seem like a kind and lovely person, mind if I try being friends with you?" skdbsudbdks. I. Will. Not. Regret. Talking. To. You. You are such a good person :( Every time we talk, you are just so attentive that makes me soft. Please, keeo being my friend :( even if you don't consider me as your friend :(

💖 @ursaurora

Well, I don't have that much to say because I just said hi while being in hiatus but hey, I really really like the idea of being friends with you. This doesn't stopped me to wish you a good New Year and hey, why not hoping to have a good relationship between each other? <3

💖 @illicit-roses

Rosa xkenskd you sidjdndid are isbddkdj a ksudkdid baby. Such a beautiful, sweet, kind and big hearted baby. I was also the first one to talk to you and I was the one that began being surprised by your words isbwkdz. Not to mention that I also got shy and touched by your words. In this year, I would love to be more close to youuuuuu <3

💖 @inkigayeo / @woo-san

Vivi, I don't know if you will read this so probably if you do, is because I told you in private kxjsksdnsk. I don't feel like remembering you how I began talking to you because you asked and I already told you that but something I for sure need you to know is that... I'm still very touched by your encouraging words to me. I think our first first conversation was about me being depressed and how I was feeling toward myself, then about my admission test that hey, you did amazing with your words. I remember I cried because yeah, I was anxious but you told me a great advice. And when I didn't do well on that an also began saying sorry to you for not doing well, you gave me anither good words that hey... How not be in love with Vivi? Vivi is just a Queen with a big heart and kindness to give to everyone :(( <3

💖 @atinyedits / @atinywrites

My lovely and beautiful Anrose kdbdkzkzd I remember I began to talk to you after I saw a post of Cottons talking about how you were such a fk rat brat and my first thought was "Hey, I want to be her friend" lol. And guess what? That's what I did isbszlxudbzk I went to your asks and I asked you if you wanted to be my friend and you accepted. We began talking and I began having this love to you idbesldjdbs. But something I do need to make clear is that I didn't thought you will be part of my Tumblr family as my mom kdjdsldudhs I still remember reblogging with an "you are married with Allyssa?! She is my mooooom" and yeah, you were welcome to a natural habit of a family who is thirsty 24/7 for Ateez or each other and yeah, such a triangle live attraction and the foughts you still have with my other mom kdisjsnd. But I hope you feel the love I have for you. Because I do love you and I trust you enough. Don't you remember how I send you photos of my body? I do feel insecure about it and still regret to be being called a Queen but yeah, I trust and love you enough, my Anrose <3

💖 @atiny-ahgase

Gabby, my sweetest sister 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 How can I began this? Well... Not to mention that I usually read your interactions with Zad and as I wasn't someone you knew, I was scared to talk to both of you. You because I was mostly shy and for Zad because I thought he was intimidating, funny, right? Well, I'm not sure if I do told you about giving you tons of love and support directly but I do remember adopting Zad as my brother and he telling me he had a sister and my first thought was "Hey, why I can't have a big sister too?" and then I began talking to you and with what I was welcomed? By tons of love and cute gifs of kisses and hugs. You make me feel lovved, Gabby. You are such an angel 🥺 Please, don't stop loving your baby sister Mei <3

💖 @shinyddeonghwa

Omg, omg, omg. I feel bad because I don't even know how I began talking to you T^T I feel bad to admit that I get confused between you and Treasure and ksbsizbdsis I think it was with you that I talked in Portuguese jzusnsks and if not, I'm sorry for the miss understanding ksisjs T^T but something I for sure remember if you trying to dom me and then getting flustered when that didn't worked and it was my time then isnwishsslsns I also need to mention that is always cute everything you do dkdbskzusks even how you talk to me <3 I hope our friendship can last for more time <3

💖 @sansbun & @choisans-dimples

Bun and Cass, the brat in denial 👀😗, the sweetest babies I have met. Two lovely babies that love cats and San. I think my first interaction with the both of you was because of the Tumblr family. Bun, I'm sorry for not talking too much to you. You are such a kind person and I would like to be closer to you in this new year. And for Cass, we talked more in discord but still wasn't that much :( But it was actually funny to see you fighting with Mari, it was cute nsisnslds. I hope both of you know that your auntie loves you so much <3

💖 @galaxteez

ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH <3

Our first conversation was something thirsty, I'm 100% sure about that. And how to forget how I always forgot to turn on to be anon siwnsibddk8dn. But I'm still sure you loved to see my asks while me being anon than when it was actually me because mine was just cute, giving tons of love to you when my anon... Well... My anon 😗 I know I have time without having thisty talks with you so maybe this new year will mark the difference 👀 <3

💖 @ateezstanlove

Ndyensiddhsihssjwj here is when my mind is having problems to remember how I actually met everyone and that's making me feel bad skdbwksjzns but something I can be 100% is that I tried really hard every day to make you feel all the love I can give. I still remember when I saw you were on hiatus and thinking about leaving Tumblr. Being honest, I was really sad but hey, you are here now to receive all my love and have those lustful thoughts about Wooyoung's thighs —I saw that, sis 😗. But yeah sksnqisndks. I love you and I hope we can have more time as sisters this year <3

💖 @ateez-little-star

Jas, the beautiful star in the sky 🥺 You were actually my first sister in my Tumblr Family. I still think is funny how I try really hard to baby you but at the end is in the other way, you end baby me skjssksisns 🥺🥺🥺🥺 How can I be more grateful to met you, uh? You always listened to my problems and I do considered a lot your opinions, is very kind to talk to you. I feel always loved when I talk to you. Also not to mention how I felt when during the night you left and when I searched you, you were gone. I was really sad and my first thought was "If she doesn't come back... She will remember me?" ksudisbskd but in days you came back and I was so happy :(( Please don't leave me again, Jas :( You are very soecial to me, my baby sis 🥺💖

💖 @hiatus-kittenmbb

Msisnsiddn MU AUNTIE HERE, EVERYONE. MSIWBSKDJDSBSB I want your love, cuddles, kisses and all the things you can give me and I'll make sure to make you feel the same, with tons of love <3 Not to mention how funny is to talk to you and all the times you told me to bother Kitty mom hahaha such a good and lovely relationship both of you have hahaha. Ps:Don't forget I love you so much, Auntie <3

💖 @hwastreasure

Mia :( I'm sorry because I don't have many things to say but at the same time I don't want you to feel sad about it. I remember I told you I will talk constantly to you and I didn't do it. Please forgive me :(( Can we try again and be closer now? :(

💖 @hongjoong-a-holic

SOFIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-.... Oh, no. My mistake. Let me try again. MY LIL LIOOOOOOOOOOOON GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR~. I don't have a lot of words how to describe the love and affection I have for you. You were always paying attention to me and giving me love —not to mention that you told me I needed to hug you just because you wanted nsisns and I say no lol— and that's cute sksnsksis. I also want to say that all those times that I do bother you with Blue about gifs of Ateez dancing sexily and those smuts and all that explication of sexuality... I have cero regrets! :D lmao. If you really thought I will say sorry about that, is a nono. I know you love it at the end lmao. But there is something I for sure need to be sorry... I know you were sad about me leaving ti be on hiatus and I still did but baby, I really needed to do it. I promise I'll be back soon. Very soon, just wait for me <3

💖 @hwaberrykiwi

Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam :(( I began to talking to you thanks to Jas that she asked me if I knew you and I said no and she just make me talk to you and guess what? I'm happy she did that because hey, I met an amazing person. And even if we didn't talked that much, something my heart will not forget are the words you told me when I said Uw as going on hiatus. I was really touched, I cried. I really did at the end but yeah. I would love to be more close to such a person with a big big heart <3

💖 @joongieblue

I don't even know how to began this because I think everything I need you to know, you already know it but at the same time I feel like I still need to say a lot :(( I don't want you to feel less as a person anymore... I know you said that way of thinking is because of your depression but baby, try to look at the amazing people who are with you, that cares about how you are and of course you are very important to them. You are very sweet and amazing as a person, let me tell you that I see in you a soft light. A very pure light that needs to shine bright in the sky but the darkness is making her feel like a insuficient and lonely light. Don't worry, things will get better soon. Trust me <3

💖 @seonghwa-is-babie

How can I began this without this looking awkward? 👉🏼👈🏼 I met you thanks to Zad and what I learned is that you were such a good, kind and shy boy but of course I still think you can be very intimidating if you want to. I'm sorry for not having a lot of conversation with you since I met you but I promise I'll try harder to be close to you. Of course, if you don't mind <3

🧡 - @seacottons

How can I began this?... The first time I talked to you, it was me trying to tease you really bad. I can also remember I told you to cald me kitten or something like that at that moment and the next thing we talked was about how I wanted to be adooted by you so bad isnsldks I don't regret doing all what you wanted me to do so you can adopt me because hey, you are amazing, wonderful as my other mom. Talking to you is like a way to calm my insecurities and stress I had during the day. You always giving love to me and even those cute hugs in the head you give or when you are too much sleepy to even type correctly iwjeneid you are such a baby :(( I'm still sorry for the time I called you a rouch, you aren't a bug... You are a beautiful, sweet, kind Queen I have the posibility to call mom. Not to mention that you are also my sweet, cool pumpkin —favorite— mom. Also, I can remember all those times you told me to bother or kick Kitty just because "she need it" dkbsskdjd the time you also wanted to disown me dibedidnzsj Leaving that topic to say cute things I love about you again is that... I'll be forever happy and gratefull with you. You gave me great advice when I needed them the most. You gave me a shoulder and a soft comfortable place to talk about my deep problems, my insomnia, depression, all of that. Thank you, mom. Thank you so much for letting me be part of your life and of course, youre mine. I will not share with Kitty <3

💖 @jongpleasure

My lovely, sweet and innocent twin ^^ lmao, we know we both are like really really twins. Our birthdays are very close, we both are Cancers, have the same bias that we share with each other because damn, he is really nice. But hey, is still very good to know you because you are talented, really really talented. The videos you create are wonderful and I am not saying that just because I know you, they are very good. The same with your fics, are amazing. You are an amazing writer, why you can't see that, uh? Want me to kiss your cheeks and hug you hard till you learn it? If you do want it, you are free to come to me and I'l give ut to you because msidbwks you are my lovely twin that I love so much. Have a great new year, I hope all your problems get resolved and you can noticed how you are talented enough to succeed and that you have friends in here that love you so bad. Kyra, my sweet twin I love so much <3

🕷️🕸️ - @yunhoshoe / @jonghoshoe

Aw, my baby prince Zad :(( The one I can trully see as a baby even when you are such a year younger than me. I want to protect you every time, even when I know I can't do that much virtually... So everytime I need to make me feel that I gave you all the love I can give and hope you can feel all the love I try to give you every time we talk. I'm still sorry for that time I make you feel uncomfortable with my missunderstanding about spiders and all of that... I'm also sorry for that time I send you gifs about dogs when you were scared of them... I'm really sorry, baby. Your big sister is dumb many times but hey, she is also still learning and want to give all she can to you. I hope this new year, we cab still be closer. Who is my little sweet, cute baby prince? Of course, you <3

💖 @xiuminswifeforever

I know we aren't that close, sadly. I follow you on twitter and here and everytime we talk is probably you being horny and wanting to have sex or somethung with your hmm... Is funny to talk to you and I know you told me that you are mostly in twitter and that was why we don't talk that much but hey, I would love to talk more with you. Want to try in this new year? <3

💜 - @yunhoiseyecandy

My sweet angel Violet :(( HoW I can began this? Kdsndid I don't remember very well how I began talking to you... Like I try really hard to remember how I began talking to you and my mind is in blank siwnsksus I'm sorry because of that but at the same time, is the good memories that are important to remember, right? How can I not be feeling grateful with the angel that with some kind words that came from her heart, made me a crying mess because of how touched I was? :(( There are many things I know I will not forget. That time I was feeling low beecause someone was just being very mean with me and you were protective, your kind words when I was just losing my mind and feeling all that pain inside and you helped me release that... For this year, I hope we can still be friends because you are amazing and I don't want to lose you :( <3

💖 @treasure-hwa

I feel really bad if I began saying this but I do want to say the truth and the truth is that I usually get confused between shinnyddeonhwa because you both had/have Hwa in their profiles and I know you both don't even write in the same way but idk, is easily for me to get confused, I'm sorry T^T Changing the subject, I really loved that time when we began talking in Portuguese and Spanish at the same time. Was really funny to even think how everyone would saw that ksjsnskdd Also I am very touched and happy when you roleplay with me... You are very sweet even while roleplaying and that makes me soft in such a way dksbskdid I would like to roleplay again with you, only if you want to any other time 👉🏼👈🏼 Also in this new year, I hope we can still be talking to each other for a long time, sister <3

💖 @cometoceantrenches

Not me being speechless every time I began writing a paragraph kwusnekdid also not me becoming your friend the second you asked me how was the relationship between Cottons and I 👉🏼👈🏼 But look at the good side, we are sisters now and guess what? I noticed how you have a big BIG heart and all the love you can give is just so cute when I receive it or just read it. I hope in this new year we can make new and memorable conversations together. Don't forget you have an special space in my heart <3

🤍 - @vocalyunho

Amelie, my sweet and lovely wife :(( How can I began this? I remember the first time I talked to you. I said your writing skills were amazing and that you were cute and I wanted to try being your friend. Not to mention that two days later I ask you to be my wife dkebdidbdkd But I don't regret that at all. I'm really happy I met you because every time I talk to you, I feel in a safe space... A place I can say how I really feel without being judged... And what do I receive every time I talk my problems out? Sweet words and advice :(( Amelie you are such a good girl, a good advicer and an amazing friend. Thank you so much for letting me be your friend. I know I won something big with your beautiful friendship. Also I know that you have problems and stress but hey, as you said, things hopefully will get better, we just need to be patient and wait. And don't forget that you can come to me everytime you want. I'll be here for you, Amelie. Anlso in this new year, I hope our friendship can grow bigger and yeah, why not trying to create new memories together? Remember you are Yunho of our 2Ho. Love you <3

💖 @sollyho & @ateezinmymind

Well... Maybe this will look like a very short paragraph but... I felt bad at the same time because I don't have that much to say... For sure, I'm happy I met both of you because during our conversations, I can deduce that I can trust you because you are lovely and all of that. What I regret so bad is that during this 2020, I didn't talked that much and that's why I feel bad for not writing something big but please, don't feel that I don't care about you because I do :(( i hope in this new year, we can talk much and maybe be close friends 👉🏼👈🏼

👑 - @barnesbabee

Queen Trixie 👉🏼👈🏼 Well, what I can say is that first, I love your humor keiwbsnd also that everytime you tive your opinion about something, you have valid points. This will sound stupid but I do really like to read when you post something. As I said some days ago in your dm, I really would like to be close to you but at the same time I do feel like that will not occur or will not happen that easily because I am not that cool and well, I don't know, I feel like I would be that kind of person you would dislike easily. Something I promised this year and will keep till this new year is the tonw of love I give to you and the support you need as a powerful queen. <3

💖 @multidreams-and-desires

My baby sis that I love so much, always taking care of me ane telling me how much you love me :(( this year was amazing. Probably our talks are mostly about problems or just giving each other love. I'm happy that I met you because you are always kind and of course you have also those thirsty moments that all our Tumblr family have —that's why we all get along, we are a bunch of people that have Ateez as their weakness lol. Also, I need to mention that in this new year, you need to know that I'll be giving you more love so just wait for me <3

💖 @msmadness99

Seven, my lovely Seven ^^ First of all I need to mention the iconic moment we both noticed we talked in Spanish after months of always talking on English lol. I know some of your insecurities about your writings and I still want to let you know that when I say that your works are amazing, well written and calls the attention easily, I'm being honest and saying that not as your friend, I say that as a fan of your works. I don't know who tells you or makes you feel insecure about them but hey, is amazing. Even those short things you write and don't get me started with Break Out serie siendjdbdkdys Every time you update, you make me have my heart in my throat kduebwdkd You are very talented, don't let others make you think other way. I love you, Seven <3

I think that is all 👉🏼👈🏼

I hope you all receive this new year with a smile and always being positive ❤️

I’m so grateful for your support and love this year. May you have a prosperous, happy and healthy New Year.

May all your dreams come true in 2021! You got this!❤️

#queue #Happy New Year✨#I’m so proud of all your accomplishments this year — and I just can’t wait to see what you do in the next.#In an extraordinary year I’ve been grateful for your extraordinary friendship…. thank you #You all deserve the best ❤️✨

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