#so this is sorta a vent post
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"I don't follow dnis" fuck off, if you can't respect someone's personal boundaries go to hell.
#respect dnis its not that hard#i'm saying this bc so many proshippers have been interacting with my posts and Its really starting to piss me off#inkwell vents#sorta vent#anti proship#anti proshitter#fuck proshitters#fuck proshippers#antiship
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some more johann and min stuff
johann belongs to @bunnygirllover45

#✎ᝰ blue’s oc#vent oc#original character#yandere male#yandere oc#gift sorta#specfically a bday gift#i also wanted an excuse to draw johann brushing min's hair#but anyways#happpy bday chrona :D#i was surprised that u posted that today was ur bday#so i wanted to wip smth up
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Why were you so disappointed by Rhythm of War?
This has been sitting in my askbox for years. I've taken several cracks at answering, only to get frustrated with the subject matter and burn myself out every time. I didn't like Rhythm of War. More than that, I didn't like it in a way that tainted my enjoyment of the entire series. And despite what it may seem, I don't actually enjoy discussing things which I don't like. I always want to talk from a place of good faith. Which is why now that my feelings towards the series are a little more positive, I think I can finally answer this.
I'm going to try to stay away from specific plotpoints and story beats for this post, because my goal isn't to nitpick (if for no other reason than it would take a week to write this post), I'm just looking to talk about my overall impressions. I think that might mean the only spoilers here will be structural? idk, if you haven't read Rhythm of War yourself then you should probably do that before looking for other people's opinions anyway.
I liked Way of Kings when I first read it. I didn't love it at the time, but I liked it. Certainly enough to keep reading once I'd finished. One thing that made me a bit uncomfy, however, was the war against the Parshendi. They were this unknowable enemy which the book was not interested in knowing. An inhuman army. Their main purpose was to kill Kaladin's friends, or else be killed by Dalinar's armies. And yet the Parshendi, and the parshmen in the form of Shen, did show hints of personhood. And so it bothered me how Dalinar spoke so casually about how the Alethi had decimated their numbers, how the others used the war as a means to amass wealth and power. (It didn't bother me in a "this is a bad book" way but in a "these characters are bad people" way.)
One of my foibles as a reader is that when a book is very clearly treating one side of a conflict with more humanity, I tend to be a bit predisposed towards the other to account for that. And with the Alethi clearly being the invading party and superior military force, there was also some underdog favoritism. I didn't really like how the book treated the Parshendi. This is to say that going forward, the singers would be more important to me than any other through line.
So imagine my delight at reading Words of Radiance and meeting Eshonai, one of the Parshendi, who even gets her own point of view sections! They were no longer being treated as a faceless mass, we were getting to see things from their perspective as well. And it became plain to see the damage the Alethi had done to them. I couldn't really bring myself to root for Dalinar or really any of the humans against the listeners. I couldn't even bring myself to like most of these characters. I still enjoyed the book but once it became clear there wouldn't be a peaceful conclusion, let's just say that I wouldn't have wept for Dalinar and Adolin if Szeth had managed to off them. Like everyone in the book, I assumed that going forward all the parshmen would be turned into evil voidbringers in the everstorm and that the listeners were mostly dead. Except for Rlain, and Eshonai because I'd read or been told that book 4 would be Eshonai's book and thus had assumed she was fine. (Oathbringer spoilers, she was not fine.) So ultimately it was still a bit of a downer way to end the book.
So imagine my delight at reading Oathbringer, where for the first time singers were being treated as people, full and real people, and where the human characters could no longer ignore or dismiss them. We met Khen and the others, common singers who were sympathetic and just wanted freedom from bondage. We see Venli grapple with the loss of her home. We see Leshwi and Moash connecting with and understanding one another. We learn of a history where singers were the original inhabitants of the planet. Parallel to this, Dalinar is having a truly excellent character arc about confronting one's past actions and acknowledging them to move forward and do better. I loved Oathbringer, for some years it was my favorite book, and I was excited as hell to see what came next. At the time, it seemed to me that there is a clear direction the story is going. Two books about needless war, and then a third where the main cast is forced to acknowledge the personhood of their enemies. This was so cool, all of my feelings from the previous installments were being validated, the characters were going to have to face what they've done in the past and outgrow their militaristic mindsets, I was so sure of that.
Imagine my disappointment when that does not even remotely resemble the direction the story went in Rhythm of War. RoW presented a clear, straightforward “us vs. them" narrative, where every character was totally fine with killing singers. Characters aligned with the singers were either flattened into wholly evil versions of themselves (Moash) or were expected to turn on their side in favor of the humans (Venli.) Because clearly there was no reason good people would be on the side that's all former slaves trying to stay free. Maybe there's some sort of accord or understanding between Navani and Raboniel that I might have found meaningful if the seeds of mutual understanding weren't already there in Oathbringer and then apparently ignored for a year by all the characters.
I have a lot of issues with how the listeners are handled in these books. (Here's some elaboration.) Following OB, I had thought that all my concerns were going to be addressed. Following RoW, I knew they never would be.
Which is my main complaint, because that's the thread that matters most to me in this series.
I have a lot of other Things as well. Gonna just talk about a few big ones.
One outsized source of disappointment that may seem a little petty, and which probably is, is that I felt mislead by the premise of the book. It had been announced that this book would center Venli and Eshonai, and I was unbelievably hyped for that. That did not really turn out to be the case. The purpose for their backstory chapters felt less about exploring them as people and contextualizing their arcs, and more about filling in gaps of world history. In the main plot, Venli was a POV character and she certainly played a role, but honestly not a very important one overall. To me she felt like a side character in her own book. I don't think it's controversial to say that the main character of RoW was Navani. A lot of people really like Navani and are happy about that. Unfortunately I'm not one of those people, and I found it all the more difficult to enjoy her when it felt like it was coming at the expense of some of my favorite characters.
This particular gripe somewhat comes down to preference, obviously everyone prefers to read about characters they like more than those they don't, and it can go both ways. (For instance, on a craft/technical level RoW is probably the superior book to W&T, but I liked the latter a lot more because of my stupidly outsized attachment to Szeth and Nale.) But I do think there's something of a real criticism in how the book would rather focus on the feelings of a queen rather than those of a genocide survivor, and how the former's are given significantly more weight and import. It ties in with my main criticism, I think.
And then there's how human/human racism had also been wholly cast aside as a plot point. Jasnah fixed slavery so that's resolved, and the only person who still cares about structural racism is the evil bad bad evil villain Moash/Vyre, who is now wholly irredeemable and who you're allowed to totally write off because he's sold his soul to Odium. I've already talked a lot about this. Other people have already talked about this, probably better than me. The writing was actually on the wall for me in OB, but again, RoW was when I fully accepted that this was never going to be addressed.
There's something else that probably deserves its own discussion rather than being quickly tacked on at the end here, but here we are. This book changed how the series approaches war.
In WoK, war was very clearly portrayed as a bad and inglorious thing. It was brutal, it was painful, those at the bottom died cruelly and unceremoniously and pointlessly while those at the top turned a profit. Every day was a new horror. The enemy were never evil, they were always just more people forced to go through the same thing. Through the next couple books, it felt to me that even if the characters had accepted war as necessary, there was still a tragedy to it. Conversely, in RoW (and W&T) war is basically a series of boss battles, in between which our protagonists can kill dozens of footsoldiers with barely a thought in the same way WoK had criticized.
Final note on all this, it sucks how we have no perspectives from the former-slaves-singers demographic. Those guys are really thrown under the bus, and seemingly get no self-determination now or ever. It was a glaring problem to me in RoW. Conscripted and enslaved humans and singers probably have just as much ground to form mutual understanding as a fused and a queen. (In fact they already had. In Oathbringer.)
In essence, RoW disappointed me because it left me with the distinct impression that none of the series's most important through lines (well, most important to me) were going to be resolved well. I liked W&T, but I haven't revised my opinion very much about the overall handling of these topics across the series. Maybe one of the reasons I was able to enjoy W&T so much more was because I no longer had such high expectations.
#sorry i sorta need to get this stuff off my chest to unpack my feelings about the series.#i hope posting this out of the blue doesn't come across as too mean spirited. my sensitivity reader DID sign off on it.#(that is a joke. although i do let my sister look over any 1000+ word posts ahead of time. and i would respect any disapproval from her.#but normally she just tells me i'm allowed to be more forceful in my opinions without qualifying them or apologizing all the time. pfff.#the reason i've been hesitant to write any especially spoilery w&t meta is mostly because she hasn't read it yet.)#discourse#asks#hey anon if you're still here after all these years. thank you.#at the time i was kinda fishing for an ask like this bc i wanted to vent but it felt mean to do so unprompted#of course this was still really hard to write. mostly because every time i tried i completely spiraled.#the version of this post that was sitting in my drafts was honestly a lot better than this one. in basically every way. except.#except it was nearly the same length and all i'd gotten to was the oathbringer paragraph#below which was a stupidly thorough outline of my itemized complaints#you KNOW i don't care about brevity but my god that would have taken forever to write and finish#and i did not want to spend that sort of time with a book i didn't like. which i would have had to do to get all my planned citations#sorry past self. you were clearly writing from a place of much more passion and that made your work better than mine. and yet.#so as i said. i'm only writing this bc i now like the series enough to talk about it again. sincerely not trying to be a hater.#side note: if any of you have thoughts/opinions about the shift in the way war is used in these books. i would love to hear them. lets chat
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No TV Guide so instead we're going to play a fun game
Identify the meme (Easy Mode):
#Sorta vent in the tags lol proceed with caution#I've been gathering assets for that August behind-the-scenes project#Currently finished assets is sitting at ~20 but several of those are repeats/will be compiled into one post#So all told only about 1/3rd through#Slightly behind the curve but considering it's not even next month yet lol#Anyway - game is get it right and win a 👏#Get it wrong and possibly inspire me to add to my list and get it right another time lol#As for the TV Guide - I think I might In Fact be burnt out and That's what's been going on#I am not lacking for motivation or ideas or desire - I have those in spades#But I'm repeatedly banging my head against Something and I need to listen to it :/#I can't even jokingly say ''ew'' about it because like - that's my brain's ''No''#Gotta listen to a no it's very important to respect a no#Tried its no-thank-you bite of Task and it just can't - doesn't seem to be a matter of ''Just practice and it will improve!''#This is one of those ''I'm Trying and it's Not Working No Matter What'' which calls for a backing off#Which I Hate Haha...... But if it's burnout then I gotta do it#I wanna complain about it so bad but I'm Trying to teach my brain that it telling me when something's wrong won't result in Negativity#It's so hard!!!!! I don't like it at all!!!!!!!!!!#Hegh. Struggling lately#Things Difficult and having to hold boundaries pretty hard - doing it but The Cost lol#That's what therapy's for I suppose lol#And doing things that are fun and enjoyable - like memeing#S'good and silly and fun so I'm gonna do it#Little bit of practice here and there - genuinely trying new things for novelty and challenge#Without going too far and overdoing it lol - that's the goal anyway
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the age old question of do i want to fuck that fictional old man or do i want to be the daughter the narrative never gave him?
#i...#dont have a good explanation for why this is a battle in my mind#other than that i dont even like men irl so like these feelings dont make sense anyway#but having to choose is hard because i am NOT comfortable with the answer being both#this is about gravity falls but it applies to other fandoms as well#gravity falls#would anyone like to guess the old man?#jokes on you its all of them#one at a time of course (with the fuck part I think they could all be my father figure at once and it not be weird)#whats weird is i have a dad#who was there for me my whole life#so like#where did this shit come from#stanford pines#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#i dont really wanna fuck fiddleford but like... i feel like he and i are very similar so he gets to be included#i too have crippling anxiety i wish i could just erase even if the cost is my sanity#thats why i dont let myself get drunk or high#teehee#these tags are a mess#vent#sorta#relatable#more like debatable#heyo#anyway#text post#not art#fandom stuff
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Random MHE lore drop!
Valentine was the reason Leshy unintentionally quit smoking (or at the very least only smoking once in a blue moon) it's a lot more common to see him with a lollipop rather than a cigarette after the lamb gets adopted into the family!
#art stuffs#cotl leshy#cotl lamb#cotl my happy ending au#im kinda sorta projecting onto the wyrm again (shocker i know)#not going to get into detail 'cause it's personal but do know that I don't smoke#so kiiiiiinda vent post...?#kinda sorta but not really
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sometimes i wonder what its like to be the exact opposite of how i currently am.
#sorry for the sad posting#i should go over to my vent blog but it hasn't been helping lately so i've sorta given up on it#i know its irrational but i feel like im all alone haha#sighs#its fine#ill be okay#the silly cookies bring me enough joy to keep pushing through the days#at least for now
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Hey, just a headsup.
I, the mod, am very mentally ill. My brain actively works against me and my relationships with others 24/7. Always under the assumption that people do not like me. Tolerate me at best. Or do not like talking to me. This causes me to go radio silent for hours if not days at a time.
When this happens, please know it is not YOU. its me. You did not anger me, i still enjoy your company, i do not hate you. My brain hates myself and works against anything positive i might have. It is not you. It is me. Please do not think i am ignoring you because i dont like you. Unless i tell you and talk to you like adults that i do, i do not hate or dislike you or your asks or anything.
These silent strikes are when i cave into my own thoughts. Please do not think i think ill of you. I dont. When these happen, Ill get to threads when i finally feel like im rotting in bed too long, i feel better for the moment, etc- it just takes me some time.
#mod talks#sorta a vent. yeah. ig that counts.#please do not feel forced to talk to me. do not feel like you HAVE to talk to or comfort me. ill get over it.#i am a weird person and a freak at that. i know people dont like that personality. so i distance when the thoughts come around#so i dont annoy people. again. do NOT force yourself to talk to me if you get worried. ill be fine eventually.#its fucking two in the morning why do i post sad shit at night.
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#marguerite rinaldi#daisies#oc#vent art#eyestrain#sorta#nebdraws#this was from a while ago but i never posted it oops#i don't really do painterly stuff so this was fun to play with
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Now that the youtube algorithm is blessing my videos I feel like I need to take advantage of it and post something new, but I don't have anything I've been working on and I work too slow to start something now and I hate storyboarding (like, I dislike it so much it's one of the reasons I gave up on animation as a career option) so I don't even really have the time to make something short and silly, so now I feel kinda shitty that I'm missing this opportunity.
#mine#not tes#like my tes stuff never does that well right when i post it and that sorta feels bad so i kinda wanna ride off of this attention#but ugh im just missing it. so whenever i do finally post something again itll flop like everything else#ughhhhhhhhhhh#vent#I tried storyboarding something today and all it did is put my in a horrendous fucking mood (like always)#and now my whole day has been ruined UUGGHHHHH
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am i
#this. was vent art but like i like how it looks herw so im posting it. and it got me feeling a bit better iguess#idk man I keep doubging who i am..Im me but i'm also not! Im all the characetrs Ive liked but Im also just. me#i'm someone but. barely#uh#yeah#fursona#eyestrain#derealization#sorta
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Do you guys just ever feel left out by your friends?? Like everytime my friends go out they never invite me to go with them. It feels like they don't even want me around most of the time, Like i just don't fit with them, Sometimes i wish i wasn't autistic mostly for this reason.
#ender's tag#ender's talks#vent?? sorta#idk i just saw a post of one of my irl friend that she went to a comic con {that i couldn't go bc of family issues} and had fun and it made#-me rlly sad...Like i'm happy she was able to go but she could've asked me if i wanted to go with her y'know#{she already knew i wanted to go there but couldn't btw}#so idk...#but even with my other friends they never invite me to anything#can i even call them friends atp??#idk#i think it's because i'm autistic#they probably see me as different and won't even try to be friends with me#i think#it's always been like this...I hope it'll get better in the future. maybe when i'll be an adult i will find friends?? will i ever?#i mean as of now i have my f/os but it's not the same#so yeah idk what to think#txt post
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Hhhhhhhhh I LOVE being chased out of my house first thing in the morning, without even being fully awake
#not skeleton stuff#rambles#vent post#kinda sorta#i woke up and a 911 call was being made#it happened so fast
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Ive been hoh since i was around 6, my hearing fluctuates and theres been times where ive been almost completely deaf. I got hearing aids at 10 and that was it.
I never learnt sign language. I never saw any deaf people on TV. I never met any deaf people due to living in a very rural area. I felt so isolated, especially since i had no one to relate too.
I desperately want to see more hoh/deaf representation, i want kids to learn sign language at school pleaseeeeeee
#Sorta vent?#Sign language is so cool im so sad i didnt start learning sooner#Bsl#hard of hearing#Hoh#deaf#Me posting
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just a heads up, if you get a dm from nobugdev, this person is trying to scam you and will tell you to kys r slur (then deleted the specific kys message before I could screenshot it lol) when you tell him you don't want to be paid under federal minimum wage :)
this is just a small sample of the lovely conversation I had with this guy. it didn't last long because I didn't actually plan on taking the commission, and wanted to give this guy a wake up call as to how shitty it is to expect a grown ass adult to work for a wage that can barely buy a single candy bar in our current economic climate.
I've had an influx of scam artists and underhanded clients like this in the past 2 years, partially which I blame on AI art making ppl undervalue every creative profession out there. I'm fucking exhausted from having hours long conversations with someone only for them to tip toe around the fact they think my art isn't even worth a single grocery trip. not to mention people think artwork can be mass produced by a human like a machine now- it is not possible to do 10 cleanly lined images in "an hour or two".
even when I was working as a caricature artist, I was paid a base hourly rate on top of tips and was given much more time to work on black and white illustrations than what this guy was offering me. I usually block immediately and move on, but I'm tired of putting up with this type of shit on a daily basis.
tl;dr: know your worth artists, don't let these scumbags try to force you to do what is essentially sweatshop labor!
do NOT take this weirdo's commissions, even if the diary of a wimpy kid art style is simple you shouldn't be charged under federal fucking minimum wage for that type of illustration!
#not art#sorta a vent / rant post#I'M JUST TIRED YALL#SERIOUSLY SO TIRED.......... I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO TELL AT LEAST ONE PERSON#HEY THIS IS UNREASONABLE FOR FUTURE REFERENCE NEVER FUCKING DEMAND AN ARTIST TO DO THIS AGAIN#AND LO AND BEHOLD OF COURSE I'M CALLED SLURS AND AND DEGRADED FOR BEING JUSTIFIABLY IRRITATED FOR BEING OFFERED#P E A N U T S FOR WORK I'VE BEEN DOING MY WHOLE LIFE#ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#negative#vent
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; w ; i said i was gonna be productive and get stuff done today but then i got overwhelmed and took a three hour nap and im not sure if its too late to take adderall or not
#i mean on one hand its not like i have to get up at any certain time or anything so....#i guess its fine?#but also im kinda sorta trying to FIX my sleep schedule rn#not#WORSEN IT#gosh diddly dangit. fudge and beans. jeez louise. man.#personal#txt posts#vent#i really need to make some food to eat#but to do that i should really go to the grocery store#but to do that i really need to do my laundry#thats tOO MANY TASKS
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