#sorry i've been inactive recently im getting ready to go to school :((

[victor-cartoons]

BELOVED MUTUAL COME HOME. IT'S US ROOKIE WE REALLY REALLY MISS YOU

Sorry kiddo(s).... I went out to get some milk

okay but in complete seriousness MISERABLE LIST OF EVERYTHING THAT MADE VÍCTOR BE INACTIVE ON TUMBLR AND NOW ON ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA (BRO IS NOT EVEN ACTIVE ON TWITTER) !!!

1 - In general it was easier to post on Twitter for some reason

I don't know, it's like, I feel this weird obligation here that posts have to be elaborate and have some brainpower (even if my posts don't seem to have a single brain cell in them) and somehow sometimes I got panic attacks interacting with people here, And while I'm still nervous about interacting with people on Twitter, it was somehow easier, and I made a new friend! Which was nice because he's profic and very interested in dark fiction!

2 - NSFW drawings

drawing a lot of nsfw stuff, so I couldn't post it here!!

3 - depressive episodes

Even if this year was the one in which I was able to better understand how my depression worked and finally take the first big steps to get my mind thinking about living and not assuming that death is approaching, I still have to take my time with depressive episodes in order to recover!

4 - Breakup with my ex, with whom I had a relationship of almost 4 years

Oh yes, I'm still dealing with everything. It happened on June 2nd and I'm still sorting my head out on how to feel and if I really want to talk to him again. It's too complex to summarize here, but let's just say that we tried to do what we could to save the relationship, but the last act of love was to end it.

5 - new friends

I created a discord server with two very dear friends!!! All of my Bluetank ideas that I usually uploaded here because I didn't have specific people to share them with, finally went to interested friends! It feels really good to do that, and with my recent breakup, I've been landing a lot on friends to, well, not lose my mind. Not to mention that if I didn't have all of them, I wouldn't be alive. and I appreciate them for that <3

6 - planning my future

Oh yeah, 17, that year where you finally get to plan what every adult asks you: What would you like to be when you grow up? I used to prefer being dead. I used to assume that by then I'd be long dead. But not anymore! Now I want to work hard for my future, to finish school. I know I'm ready and I want to have the strength to do it, and honestly, breaking up with my ex helped me wake up and realize that I should think fast, since my plans were with him. Now I'm giving my all to school because (if all goes well) I'm going to finish next year, and then I'll be able to go study and pay for a small place with a close friend! 2027 plan ™️

7 - school and bullying

ah yeah, bullying, how do I explain it, they do weird things like booing me or spitting on my desk before I get to school, sometimes moving my desk to just make it inconvenient for me, it's weird, I was always just ignored but now it really bothers me, but I'm coping with it, and I've already talked to the school officials. It makes me feel bad, but fuck them, we ball

8 - hiatus everywhere

Inactive everywhere!! All these negative things + finding out a friend was talking badly about me made me feel the need to isolate myself from social media a bit (I think? I'm a chronic online user, so this is very rare for me)

9 - I'm not drawing that often

And that's okay

10 - cookie run kingdom (what)

Yeah!!!! Started playing not long ago and I HAVE A NEW F/O!! a very strong one, It feels like he came to save me just when I needed him most <3

So... answering some questions aside, has the love for bluetank gone away?

NO!!! NEVER!!! IM THE BIGGEST FAN ALIVE AND I WILL LIVE FOR BLUETANK!! I CAN'T DIE IF THAT MEANS BLUETANK WILL NO LONGER BE ALIVE ON THE INTERNET!!

(not ironically I'm going to get the word bluetank tattooed on my fists... one day)

SO!!! THAT'S ALL!! Thank you so much for missing me, I miss this magical place too <3, I will try to upload every drawing I make.