#stack your roster
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rayroseu-reblogs · 7 months ago
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wait i just realized something,,,, are they going to release crowley ssr on december?? broooo dont make me choose between knight sebek and crowley 😭💔💔💔💔
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freshthoughts2020 · 5 months ago
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#Nike LeBron 22 “What The Monopoly”#Tweet#Share#Email#More#In this Article#Nike#Rank 1#adidas#Rank 3#Salomon#Rank 22#Best Sneaker Releases January 2025 Week 3 RIOT Skateshop x Nike SB Dunk Low Taqwa Bint Ali x adidas Adistar Pose & Megaride Mary-Jane Air J#Fans of American football were just treated to an exciting weekend that included four high-stakes matchups in the NFL’s Divisional Round al#brands are picking up the pace#as evidenced by this week’s stacked roster of footwear drops featuring entries from Nike#Salomon and Jordan Brand. Before we let you know which 10 launches to look forward to#let’s look back at what news caught our eye this past week.#Word of a new Cactus Plant Flea Market x Nike Dunk Low — the “Swamp Sponge Dunk” — excited sneakerheads despite little information being ma#Jordan Brand had its premium Air Jordan 1 High OG “Xuanwu” limited to 3#399 pairs pop up and catch the eyes of collectors. We also got a first look at what to expect from this year’s Air Jordan 5 “Grape” release#It was a solid week for adidas collaborations as not only did Song for the Mute reveal its upcoming Taekwondo Mei and Adizero PR projects#but HAL STUDIOS® showcased its Intimidation Low collection as well. Another standout from the fashion week fun was Pharrell revealing the L#which seemingly draws from both his old Ice Cream Boardflip design and the Nike Cortez. Salehe Bembury also joined the mix#treating us to a first look at his work with PUMA. Rounding things out#Ye unveiled the YZY BL-01 and teased new YZY SL-01 colorways.#With all of the past week’s top headlines revisited#let’s dive into what drops to expect from the sneaker space this week#starting with RIOT Skateshop’s take on the Nike SB Dunk Low. Once you make your way through all 10#be sure to hit up HBX to shop for shoes that are available now.
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earlgreylatte · 4 months ago
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Nicknames and Pet Names
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Peter Parker: ‘Bug’! I can you two calling each other ‘bug’ and ‘bug boy’ respectively. Definitely has a roster of petnames depending on the mood; ‘sweetie’ to comfort you, ‘champ’ to make you laugh, ‘pipsqueak’ to tease you, etc. Definitely has squished your cheeks and called you ‘chipmunk’ before. Of course, nothing beats your name for him.
Johnny Storm: Don’t let him see you do something embarrassing because he won’t let you live it down. Trip in front of him once, and he’ll be calling you ‘stumbles’ for the next year. Also likes using loveydovey names like ‘firefly’ and ‘good lookin’. ‘Hotstuff’ and ‘boo’ are also some of his favourites, and probably what he refers to you as on his Instagram posts.
Matt Murdock: No one, and I mean no one, says ‘sweetheart’ like he does, whether he says it when he’s comforting you or when he’s about to go down on you, it is so insanely attractive. Definitely a ‘yes dear’ guy. He definitely has a nickname to reflect your nature/dynamic to him, like ‘sunshine’, ‘angel’, etc.
Wade Wilson: Revoke his right to use pet names!! It’s like he wants to give everyone diabetes with the names he comes up with. Hit him so he never calls you ‘pussy cat’ again. ‘Sugar plum’, ‘Carebear’, and ‘Angel face’ are his more tolerable ones. Probably stacks pet names on top of each other, creating an actual Frankenstein of mushiness.
Clint Barton: ‘Birdie’ or ‘dove’ definitely. Less into pet names, and more into making nicknames, I think, but definitely throws around ‘babe’ or ‘angelface’. Definitely makes up a teasing nickname based on your alias if you have one.
Scott Summers: ‘Honey’ or ‘dear’ because he is literally a wife guy. I can see him call you ‘peanut’ somewhat awkwardly when you two first get together. But ‘honey’ really does suit him, the type to rub your arms comfortingly while whispering sweet nothings.
Kurt Wagner: Mein gott, German time! ‘Engel’, ‘Schatz’, ‘liebling’, etc, are his go to. Also refers to you as his heart, his light, and the like because he wants you to always know how much you mean to him and all the ways you’ve changed his life for the better.
Logan Howlett: We all know ‘bub’ is his go to, but he definitely calls you ‘doll’, ‘bunny’, and ‘lovely’. Anything that points out the juxtaposition between how…pretty you are and how…Logan he is. Could also see him going for someone mousy, which of course would come with its own array of nicknames.
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Masterlist
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fvsm4x · 5 months ago
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Manwhore Roommate - gojo s.
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synopsis. After a string of failed attempts to find a new place to live, you reluctantly agree to share an apartment with Satoru Gojo—a cocky, flirty, and insufferably attractive guy known for his endless roster of hookups and carefree lifestyle. From the very first day, his personality clashes with your grounded, no-nonsense demeanor. You’re determined to keep things strictly platonic and avoid getting caught up in his games, but Gojo thrives on breaking rules
+ warnings/content. Roommate! Satoru Gojo x fem! reader - roommate AU - gojo is a manwhore - pinning - MNDI/mature themes - suggestive - teasing/touching - reader is described to have an big ass - gojo is annoying - eventual smut - not proofread
+ wc. 9 k
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The apartment smelled faintly of old takeout, worn leather, and something warm and musky—like cologne. Not an overpowering scent, but the kind that lingered, deeply embedded in the fabric of the place. You paused in the doorway, fingers tightening around the handle of your suitcase, staring at the chaos ahead.
The living room was barely holding it together. A hoodie—black, probably expensive—was slung haphazardly over the back of a couch with stuffing poking out of one armrest. The coffee table was an explosion of clutter: unopened mail, a stack of coasters that clearly weren’t being used, a half-empty bottle of water lying on its side. Sneakers were scattered like an afterthought near the door, and one single sock lay abandoned under the TV stand.
You inhaled slowly, letting the air out through your nose. “So…this is it?”
Behind you, Satoru Gojo leaned lazily against the doorframe, the picture of smug satisfaction. He didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed about the state of his apartment. If anything, he looked like he’d just scored some kind of victory.
“Welcome to Casa Gojo,” he said with a grin, spreading his arms wide as if presenting a five-star hotel. “Cozy, huh?”
You gave him a flat look. “Cozy isn’t the word I’d use.”
He laughed, shameless and loud, brushing past you into the living room. “Don’t worry, you’ll warm up to it. It’s got character. Charm. A certain je ne sais quoi.”
“It’s got a mess,” you muttered under your breath, dragging your suitcase inside.
Gojo either didn’t hear you or pretended not to. He was already in the kitchen, yanking open the fridge. The door creaked ominously as he surveyed its contents, completely unfazed by the questionable state of the shelves. From where you stood, you could see a carton of eggs that looked suspiciously close to their expiration date, a pizza box taking up an entire shelf, and…was that a single slice of cake just sitting there, uncovered?
“You hungry?” he asked, grabbing a soda and cracking it open with one hand. “We’ve got, uh…” He leaned in for a closer look. “Eggs. And, uh, mystery leftovers. Oh, wait, there’s pizza.”
“I’m good,” you said quickly, already regretting this decision.
-
You never imagined your life would lead to this—standing in the doorway of Satoru Gojo’s chaotic apartment, wondering if you’d made the worst decision of your life. Just a few weeks ago, things had been fine. Stable, even. You had your own one-bedroom apartment—a tiny but cozy space that you’d worked hard to afford. Sure, it wasn’t perfect. The shower had a slow drip that your landlord swore wasn’t “worth fixing,” and the heating was practically non-existent in the winter, but it was yours.
Then the pipe burst.
You’d come home after a long day to find your kitchen under several inches of water. Your landlord, of course, didn’t pick up your frantic calls until hours later, and when he finally showed up, all he could offer was a half-hearted apology and a shrug. “It’ll take a couple weeks to fix,” he’d said. “Maybe more. I’ll call someone.”
“Where am I supposed to go in the meantime?” you’d demanded, trying to wring water out of your socks without screaming.
He’d just looked at you blankly, as though it wasn’t his problem.
The next few days had been a blur of packing, moving what little you could salvage into storage, and hopping between temporary places to stay. Your best friend let you crash on her couch for a while, but she lived with her boyfriend, and you felt like a third wheel every time you stayed too long. Hotels were an option, but they were expensive, and your savings were already taking a massive hit. Every apartment you found online was either laughably out of your budget or in parts of the city you wouldn’t visit during daylight, let alone live in.
You were running out of options—and patience—when a mutual friend brought up Satoru Gojo.
At first, you thought it was a joke.
“Gojo?” you’d asked, incredulous. “Satoru Gojo? The guy who can’t take anything seriously? The guy who’s practically a walking HR violation?”
Your friend had laughed. “I mean, yeah, that’s one way to describe him. But his old roommate moved out, and he’s got an extra room. Rent’s dirt cheap, too. He could probably use the help.”
You’d bristled at the idea immediately. Satoru Gojo was infamous—not just for his looks, which, fine, you could grudgingly admit were objectively attractive, but for his personality. He was the type of guy who could charm the pants off anyone—literally. A shameless flirt, perpetually smug, and somehow always the center of attention, Gojo wasn’t exactly what you’d call roommate material. The thought of sharing a living space with him sounded more like a punishment than a solution.
But the more you thought about it, the more you realized you didn’t have many other choices.
It wasn’t like Gojo was a bad person—annoying, yes, but not bad. And the friend who suggested him had insisted that, beneath all the arrogance, he was actually pretty decent. “Besides,” they’d added with a grin, “it’s not like you’re gonna fall for him or anything, right? You’ll just be roommates.”
You weren’t so sure. You’d heard the stories—how Gojo had serenaded someone’s girlfriend at karaoke, how he’d once flirted his way out of a parking ticket, how he never seemed to take anything seriously. But your savings were dwindling, your patience was running thin, and no one else was offering you an affordable place to stay.
So, against your better judgment, you’d dialed his number.
“Yo,” he’d answered after the second ring, his voice casual and teasing, as if he’d been expecting you. “Calling to confess your undying love for me? Finally?”
You’d rolled your eyes so hard it almost hurt. “No, Gojo. I need a place to stay. Someone said you’re looking for a roommate.”
“Oh?” His tone had shifted slightly, curiosity laced with amusement. “And here I thought you hated me.”
“I don’t hate you,” you’d replied through gritted teeth. “I just don’t like you. Big difference.”
He’d laughed, loud and unbothered. “Well, lucky for you, I don’t need my roommates to like me. I just need them to pay rent on time and not steal my snacks or. So, what do you think? Wanna shack up with the great Satoru Gojo?”
You’d hesitated, gripping your phone tightly. The logical part of your brain screamed at you to hang up and find another option, but logic didn’t have a flooded apartment and a rapidly draining bank account.
“When can I move in?” you’d asked finally, your voice resigned.
“Tomorrow, if you want,” he’d said, sounding far too pleased with himself. “But, uh, fair warning—my place is a little messy. I wasn’t expecting company.”
“How messy are we talking?”
“…You’ll see.”
-
Now here you were, standing in Satoru Gojo’s living room, suitcase in one hand, a growing sense of regret in the other. The place wasn’t just messy—it was alive with chaos. The kind of chaos that didn’t just happen overnight but had clearly been cultivated over weeks, maybe months.
Gojo sauntered back into the living room, his soda can dangling from his fingers as he leaned against the counter separating the kitchen from the rest of the apartment. He tilted his head at you, a crooked grin tugging at his lips.
“You look tense,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. “What’s wrong? Not a fan of the open floor plan?”
“It’s not the floor plan I’m worried about,” you muttered, eyeing the lone sock under the TV stand. “Do you even own a vacuum?”
“Sure do,” he said, pointing to a closet near the hallway. “It’s, uh…in there somewhere.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “Do you ever use it?”
He grinned, shameless. “Why bother? You’re here now. I’m sure you’ll whip this place into shape in no time.”
“Excuse me?”
“Relax, I’m kidding,” he said, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “Mostly. But hey, it’s not so bad, right? It’s got character.”
“Character,” you repeated flatly, glancing around at the cluttered surfaces, the mismatched furniture, the pile of laundry peeking out from behind the couch. “Right.”
Gojo didn’t seem the least bit bothered by your disapproval. In fact, he looked like he was enjoying it. His blue eyes sparkled with amusement as he watched you take in your surroundings, his grin never wavering.
“Come on,” he said, pushing off the counter and gesturing toward the hallway. “I’ll show you your room.”
You followed him reluctantly, dragging your suitcase over the uneven floorboards. The hallway was narrow, lined with a few framed photos that looked like they’d been thrown up haphazardly. One was crooked, and you resisted the urge to straighten it as you passed.
“Oh, heads up—the walls are kinda weird. My old roommate had this thing for, like, anime posters or whatever. I didn’t bother taking them down.”
“Great,” you muttered,
“Here we are,” Gojo said, stopping in front of the last door on the left. He pushed it open with a dramatic flourish, stepping aside to let you in. “Home sweet home.”
You stepped inside and stopped in your tracks.
The room wasn’t bad, exactly—it was bigger than you’d expected, with a decent-sized window and a closet that didn’t look like it was falling apart. But the walls…
Gojo hadn’t been kidding about his old roommate. The walls were plastered with posters—bright, garish, and all of them anime-themed. Characters with oversized eyes and gravity-defying hair stared back at you from every surface, their poses dynamic and exaggerated. One corner featured a particularly dramatic sword-wielding figure, while another was dominated by a group of girls in school uniforms mid-pose.
You blinked. “What…is this?”
Gojo leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, clearly trying not to laugh. “What? You don’t like anime? My old roommate was a big fan.”
“This isn’t a room,” you said, gesturing at the walls. “It’s a shrine.”
“Hey, don’t knock it. You might learn something.”
You turned to glare at him, but he was already laughing, the sound echoing down the hallway.
“If it bothers you that much, you can take them down,” he said between chuckles. “Or leave them up. Maybe they’ll grow on you.”
“I’m taking them down,” you said firmly, setting your suitcase down by the bed.
“Suit yourself,” he said with a shrug, straightening up and heading back toward the living room. “Dinner’s on me tonight, by the way. Consider it a ‘welcome to the madhouse’ gift.”
“Generous of you,” you called after him, already making a mental list of everything you’d need to clean, fix, and replace.
As his footsteps faded, you sat down on the edge of the bed, letting out a long sigh. The apartment was a mess, Gojo was insufferable, and you were pretty sure the next few months were going to test every ounce of patience you had.
But at least it was a roof over your head.
For now, that was enough.
-
You spent the rest of the afternoon settling into your new room. The posters came down immediately, but not without a fight. Whoever had put them up had used enough tape to secure a small building, and by the time you’d peeled off the last one, your fingers were sore, and you were pretty sure you’d taken a chunk of paint with you.
The bed was another ordeal. The mattress wasn’t terrible, but the sheets Gojo had left on it were…questionable. They smelled faintly of old laundry detergent, with an underlying note of cologne. You made a mental note to wash them tomorrow and just threw your own blanket over the top for now.
The rest of the room wasn’t much better. The closet door creaked ominously when you opened it, and the lightbulb in the ceiling fixture flickered every time you turned it on. But it was manageable. Barely.
As evening rolled around, you finally emerged from your room to find Gojo sprawled across the couch, a gaming controller in his hands and the volume on the TV set way too high. Some kind of fast-paced shooting game flashed across the screen, the sound of gunfire and explosions filling the living room.
“Hey,” you said, stepping into the chaos. “What happened to dinner?”
“Huh?” He glanced over his shoulder at you, one hand still expertly working the controller. “Oh, yeah. About that…”
You narrowed your eyes. “Don’t tell me you forgot.”
“Forgot? Never.” He grinned, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “I ordered takeout.”
As if on cue, there was a knock at the door.
“See?” he said, pausing the game and hopping to his feet. “I’m a man of my word.”
You rolled your eyes but followed him to the door, curious about what he’d ordered. When he opened it, a delivery guy handed over two large bags of food, the smell immediately filling the apartment.
“Hope you like ramen,” Gojo said, setting the bags down on the coffee table and plopping back onto the couch.
You eyed the bags suspiciously. “That’s a lot of ramen for two people.”
“Is it?” He pulled out a container and handed it to you with a pair of chopsticks. “What can I say? I like to keep my options open.”
You sat down on the far end of the couch, making a point to keep some distance between you. The ramen, at least, smelled incredible, and you had to admit you were starving.
“So,” he said, between bites, his voice annoyingly casual. “First impressions? How do you like living with me so far?”
You gave him a look, setting your container down on the coffee table. “Do you want the truth, or should I sugarcoat it?”
“Truth,” he said, grinning like he already knew what you were going to say.
You leaned back, crossing your arms. “Your apartment is a disaster. You’re loud, you don’t clean, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to regret this decision within a week.”
Gojo didn’t look remotely offended. In fact, he looked downright entertained. “Wow. rough. Just the way that I like it”
You groaned, picking up your ramen again. “I don’t know how anyone puts up with you.”
“Oh, plenty of people put up with me, if you know what i mean—” he said, winking. “But you’ll see. By the end of the month, you’ll be begging for more of me.”
“Don’t hold your breath,” you muttered, though you couldn’t help but crack a small smile despite yourself.
Dinner turned into a strange, semi-comfortable routine faster than you expected. Gojo, despite being an objectively messy person, was surprisingly good company when he wasn’t actively trying to annoy. The conversation shifted effortlessly between lighthearted topics—like his absurd stories from college—to things you didn’t expect to discuss with someone you’d just moved in with.
“So, why’d you move out of your old place?” he asked suddenly, leaning back on the couch with his half-empty ramen container resting on his stomach.
You hesitated, chopsticks frozen in mid-air. “It’s not like I had much of a choice,” you admitted, poking at your noodles. “My landlord is incompetent, and my kitchen turned into a swimming pool. Not exactly livable conditions.”
Gojo raised an eyebrow. “No kidding. And he didn’t offer to put you up somewhere? Like, isn’t that his job?”
You snorted. “You’d think, right? But no. He told me to ‘figure it out’ and just…disappeared.”
He shook his head, muttering something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “asshole.” Then, after a moment, he said, “Well, his loss. Now you’re here, and let’s be honest—you’ve upgraded.”
You gave him a pointed look. “This is what you call an upgrade?”
“Obviously.” He gestured vaguely at the cluttered living room. “I mean, come on—free entertainment, great company, world-class ramen delivery and if you want— someone to keep your bed warm.“ he smiled at you,“What more could you ask for?”
“Clean floors,” you deadpanned.
“Touché.”
He grinned, unfazed, and reached for the TV remote. “Alright, you’ve earned your place on the couch. Let me properly welcome you to Gojo’s world.”
“What are you doing?” you asked warily as he scrolled through a streaming service, the remote clicking in rapid succession.
“Movie night,” he said matter-of-factly, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s tradition. New roommates get to pick the first movie. Consider it a rite of passage.”
You opened your mouth to protest, but he cut you off with a dramatic gasp. “Wait—don’t tell me you’re one of those people who’s never seen Star Wars. Or, God forbid, Lord of the Rings.”
“Relax,” you said, rolling your eyes. “I’ve seen them. And I’m not watching them with you.”
“Fine, fine,” he said, mock pouting. “Your call, then. But choose wisely. This moment sets the tone for our entire roommate relationship.”
You sighed, leaning forward to grab the remote. “No pressure or anything.”
Eventually, you settled on a movie—a rom-com you’d seen a hundred times but couldn’t resist—and to your surprise, Gojo didn’t complain. He sprawled out on the couch like he owned the place (which, to be fair, he did), one arm draped lazily over the backrest, the other digging into a bag of chips he’d somehow produced out of nowhere.
“This is cute,” he said about halfway through, his voice dripping with faux sincerity. “Do they fall in love in the end? Kiss in the rain? Ride off into the sunset?”
You shot him a glare. “If you’re going to talk through the whole thing, I’m turning it off.”
He held up his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. No more commentary. Scout’s honor.”
But, of course, he didn’t stay quiet for long.
By the time the credits rolled, he’d managed to make at least three sarcastic remarks about the leading man’s haircut, two unsolicited critiques of the soundtrack, and one entirely unnecessary comment about how he would’ve handled the grand romantic gesture at the end.
“For the record,” he said as he turned off the TV, “I could totally pull off that rain scene. Probably better, actually.”
“You? Running through the rain for someone?” You laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t buy it.”
“Hey,” he said, feigning offense. “I’ll have you know I’m a very romantic guy. People line up for the Gojo Experience™.”
“I don’t doubt that,” you said, grabbing the empty ramen containers to take them to the kitchen. “But romance and whatever it is you do are two very different things.”
“Oh, you wound me,” he called after you, his voice light and teasing.
In the kitchen, you rinsed out the containers and stacked them neatly on the counter, trying not to think too hard about how easy it had been to banter with him. It was strange—living with someone like Gojo, who seemed to thrive on chaos and charm. You’d expected to be annoyed, and you were. But there was something oddly comforting about how effortlessly he filled the space.
When you returned to the living room, he was still lounging on the couch, flipping through his phone. He glanced up as you walked in, a lazy smile spreading across his face.
“Not bad for a first night, huh?” he said.
You shrugged, suppressing a small smile. “I’ve had worse.”
“Don’t worry,” he said, sitting up and tossing his phone onto the coffee table. “I’ll grow on you.”
“I wouldn’t count on it,” you shot back, heading toward the hallway.
His laughter followed you all the way to your room.
As you shut the door behind you, you couldn’t help but feel like, for all the chaos and noise, this arrangement might not be as terrible as you’d thought. Maybe.
But oh. How wrong you were.
The morning started off deceptively quiet. When you emerged from your room, the sunlight streaming through the blinds made the living room look almost…peaceful. The kitchen was spotless, the couch was miraculously free of clothes and clutter, and the faint aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air.
For a brief moment, you thought Gojo might’ve actually cleaned up his act overnight.
Then you saw him.
He was leaning against the counter, sipping coffee like a walking ad for morning perfection. His silver-white hair was damp, his loose hoodie hung just right, and his sweatpants rode low enough to remind you he probably didn’t own a single pair of fitted jeans. He looked like someone who just woke up that hot—not a single ounce of effort needed.
“Morning, sunshine,” he said, flashing you a grin that was as disarming as it was infuriating.
You ignored the way his voice sent an unwelcome shiver down your spine. “Do you ever not sound smug?”
“Nope. It’s part of my charm.” He smirked, leaning back against the counter. “Coffee?”
You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. “You made coffee?”
“Of course. What kind of host would I be if I didn’t caffeinate my lovely new roommate?”
“The kind of host who leaves his socks on the coffee table,” you muttered under your breath.
He pretended not to hear that, holding out a mug. “Come on. One sip, and you’ll see I’m full of surprises.”
Reluctantly, you accepted the mug and took a cautious sip. To your utter annoyance, it was good. Like, really good.
“You’re welcome,” he said smugly, reading your expression.
You gave him a pointed look. “Don’t get used to this dynamic. I’m not falling for your weird, ‘charming’ roommate routine.”
“Who said anything about charm?” He tilted his head, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’m just being myself, baby. If that’s irresistible, it’s not my fault.”
You nearly choked on your coffee. “Did you just call me baby?”
“Hmm?” He feigned confusion, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, sorry. Roomie. Same thing, right?”
“No, it’s really not,” you said flatly, setting your mug down.
„By the way, just a heads-up—I have someone coming over later.”
You frowned. “Someone?”
“Yeah, you know. A friend.” He smirked, the word friend dripping with suggestion.
You set your mug down on the counter. “You couldn’t even wait a day?”
“Hey, don’t judge me,” he said, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I’ve got needs. And besides, You knew from the start—this is who I am.”
You stared at him, incredulous. “I moved in less than twenty-four hours ago, and you’re already—”
“Relax, it’ll be fine,” he interrupted, brushing past you to grab a bag of chips from the cabinet. “You won’t even know we’re here.”
By the time his “friend” arrived that afternoon, you were safely holed up in your room, pretending to be engrossed in a book. You had already resigned yourself to enduring Gojo’s antics, but as the knock sounded at the door and his voice rang out in greeting, you felt your stomach twist.
Her laughter echoed through the thin walls—a bright, bubbly sound that grated against your already frayed nerves. You couldn’t make out their words, just the ebb and flow of conversation, the occasional rise and fall of her giggles mixing with Gojo’s smooth, low voice.
They moved to the living room, and the indistinct murmur of their voices grew louder. It was maddening—like trying to tune out a conversation happening right outside your door. You couldn’t tell what they were saying, but the rhythm of their tones was unmistakable. The lighthearted teasing, the easy banter—it all set your teeth on edge.
You clenched your book tighter, trying to focus on the words in front of you, but your eyes kept darting to the wall as if you could somehow will the noise to stop. It wasn’t your business, you reminded yourself. You didn’t care what Gojo did with his spare time, or who he brought over. It didn’t matter.
But when their voices softened, becoming more intimate, you felt your chest tighten with dread. The murmurs grew harder to distinguish, and soon, all you could hear was the faint rustle of movement and the occasional low chuckle from Gojo.
And then the real noise began.
At first, it was subtle—the creak of the couch, a muffled laugh that was cut short, followed by a sharper sound, like something hitting the floor. You froze, dread pooling in your stomach.
When the rhythmic creaking started, punctuated by the occasional muted groan, your heart sank.
No. No, no, no.
You pressed your hands over your ears, as if that would somehow make it stop. But the thin walls of the apartment offered no escape. Every sound seemed amplified—the shifting of weight, the faint hum of voices, the occasional laugh that broke the tension.
“Unbelievable,” you muttered, tossing your book onto the bed and pacing the room.
For a moment, you debated knocking on the wall or even storming out there to put an end to it. But the thought of interrupting whatever was happening made your skin crawl. Instead, you grabbed your headphones, shoved them over your ears, and cranked up your music.
But it wasn’t enough. No matter how loud you made the playlist, the creaking and muffled sounds seemed to filter through, like an itch you couldn’t scratch.
When the noise finally stopped, you yanked your headphones off and slumped back onto your bed, letting out a heavy sigh. The room felt unnaturally quiet now, as if the apartment itself was holding its breath.
The front door opened, followed by the woman’s voice, light and cheerful.
“Thanks for today,” she said.
“Anytime,” Gojo replied, his voice dripping with charm. “Drive safe, gorgeous.”
You cringed at the sound of the door clicking shut and the silence that followed. A beat later, you heard Gojo’s footsteps padding toward the kitchen.
Summoning every ounce of patience, you stepped out of your room, determined to at least get a glass of water. You found him leaning lazily against the counter, a smug grin plastered across his face.
“Well, look who’s finally out of hiding,” he said, his tone dripping with mock innocence.
You ignored him, walking to the sink and filling a glass with water.
“Rough day?” he asked, clearly enjoying himself.
You slammed the glass down on the counter and whirled around. “Seriously, Gojo? Can you not keep it down? I could hear everything.”
His grin only widened. “Everything, huh? Guess I should’ve warned you about the acoustics in here.”
You glared at him, crossing your arms. “You’re impossible.”
“Aw, come on,” he said, stepping closer. “Don’t be mad. If it makes you feel better, I’ll keep it quieter next time.”
“Next time?” you snapped.
“What can I say?” He shrugged, his eyes glinting with mischief. “I’m a people person.”
You rolled your eyes and turned to leave, but his voice stopped you.
“Hey, for what it’s worth,” he said, leaning casually against the counter, “you’re more fun to talk to than she was.”
You froze, your face heating. “Don’t even try it.”
“Try what?” he asked, his tone playful. “I’m just saying, if you ever want to hang out, you don’t have to hide in your room.”
You glared at him over your shoulder. “In your dreams, Gojo.”
He chuckled, watching you retreat to your room. “Every night, sweetheart.”
You slammed the door behind you, but not before you heard his soft, self-satisfied laugh echo through the apartment.
A week passed, and life in the apartment settled into a grudging rhythm. You’d managed to avoid another direct confrontation with Gojo, though the memories of that first encounter still made your skin crawl. You convinced yourself you could manage this arrangement if you just kept your distance and stayed in your lane. To his credit—or maybe just your luck—he hadn’t brought anyone else over since that mortifying incident.
The apartment remained mostly quiet, aside from his occasional antics: music playing at odd hours, the clatter of snacks in the kitchen when you were trying to focus, and Gojo humming to himself as he wandered around like he owned the place.
But living with Gojo wasn’t just about tolerating the noise. It was about tolerating him. His overwhelming presence. His insufferable teasing. The way he seemed to enjoy pushing you just far enough to elicit a reaction, like a child poking at a caged animal for fun.
Case in point: the morning you stepped out of your room to grab breakfast, still half-asleep, only to find him lounging on the couch, shirtless, with a bag of chips balanced precariously on his chest.
“You know,” he said without looking up from his phone, “it’s rude to stare.”
You blinked, your brain taking a moment to catch up. “Excuse me?”
“Don’t worry,” he said, flashing you a lazy grin as he finally looked at you. “I get it. I’m irresistible.”
You narrowed your eyes, resisting the urge to smack the smugness off his face. “Or you’re just in my way,” you shot back, walking past him to the kitchen.
He craned his neck, following you with his eyes as you moved. “Feisty this morning. Didn’t know you had it in you.”
“Maybe because I’ve been trying to avoid you,” you muttered, rifling through the cabinets for your coffee mug.
“Aw, you wound me,” he said, clutching his chest dramatically, which sent a few chips tumbling to the floor. “I’ve been nothing but welcoming to you, and this is how you repay me?”
“Welcoming?” You scoffed, finally finding your mug and filling it. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”
He grinned. “Of course. Didn’t you feel welcome when I made breakfast last week? Oh wait, never mind—you hid in your room.”
You ignored him, stirring sugar into your coffee and silently counting to ten. He thrived on attention, and you weren’t about to give him the satisfaction.
“Hey,” he called again, his tone turning almost conversational, like he wasn’t intent on annoying you. “Do you ever, like, not wear sweats?”
You glanced down at your oversized hoodie and joggers, then shot him a pointed glare. “Do you ever, like, mind your own business?”
“Ouch,” he said with a mock wince. “Just saying, you’ve got potential. Might even clean up nice if you tried. You‘ve got an big ass.“
You rolled your eyes so hard it was a miracle they didn’t get stuck. “Good thing your opinion means nothing to me.”
His laughter filled the space as you grabbed your coffee and headed toward your room, your patience wearing thin.
“Oh, come on,” he called after you, his voice taking on a teasing lilt. “You’re not even going to hang out? What kind of roommate are you?”
“The kind who values her sanity,” you shot back without missing a beat.
His laughter followed you as you reached your door, hand on the knob, ready to escape his relentless teasing. But as you glanced at the clock on the wall, a realization hit you. Your eyes widened slightly.
You turned on your heel abruptly, nearly colliding with Gojo, who had apparently taken the opportunity to stand and stretch—still shirtless, of course. His smug grin faltered for a second as you stopped dead in your tracks.
“I’ll be late today,” you said quickly, sidestepping him to set your coffee down on the counter.
Gojo tilted his head, his grin returning with full force as curiosity flickered across his face. “Late? You? Didn’t think you had a social calendar.”
You rolled your eyes, opening the fridge and pretending to look for something. “People can have plans, Gojo. Even me.”
“Plans?” He leaned against the counter, his tone dripping with mock surprise. “Wait a second. Are you… going somewhere exciting?”
“I don’t owe you an explanation,” you replied, focusing intently on the fridge shelves as if the milk carton was suddenly the most fascinating thing you’d ever seen.
His eyes narrowed slightly, amusement dancing in them. “You’re being cagey. That means it’s something good.”
You grabbed the milk with more force than necessary and shut the fridge door with a pointed look. “Or maybe I just don’t want to deal with your incessant need to pry into my business.”
“Touché.” He chuckled, watching as you began pouring milk into your coffee. His voice softened slightly, the teasing edge giving way to something more casual. “But seriously, where are you going? Work? Errands? Hot date?”
Your hand faltered for the briefest second. It was the tiniest movement—so small you hoped he didn’t notice. But the sharp glint in his eyes told you he absolutely had.
“Just out,” you said, keeping your tone neutral. “Don’t wait up.”
Gojo raised an eyebrow, straightening from his lean. “Out, huh?” He crossed his arms over his chest, the picture of exaggerated skepticism. “You’re not denying it’s a date.”
“I’m not confirming it either,” you shot back, grabbing your coffee and brushing past him toward your room.
“But you didn’t deny it!” he called after you, his voice full of glee. “Come on, who’s the lucky guy? Is he tall? Handsome? Rich? More charming than me?”
“Literally anyone is more charming than you, Gojo,” you replied dryly, not even turning around.
His laughter followed you down the hall, loud and unbothered. “Oh, you’re killing me, sweetheart! At least tell me if I should warn him about your sweats obsession!”
You slammed your door shut before he could say anything else, but his laughter still echoed faintly through the walls.
Inside, you set your coffee on your desk and let out a long sigh. Gojo was insufferable. But even as you tried to focus on getting ready, his teasing words stuck with you.
It wasn’t his business, you reminded yourself. He didn’t need to know about your date—or the nerves twisting in your stomach at the thought of it.
Still, as you changed out of your usual oversized hoodie and joggers, you couldn’t help but wonder how Gojo would react if he saw you now.
And for reasons you couldn’t quite understand, you hated that the thought even crossed your mind.
The minutes ticked by as you debated between two outfits: a casual but flattering dress or a sleek, semi-formal ensemble that screamed confidence. You settled on the dress, deciding it struck the perfect balance—nothing too over-the-top, but enough to make an impression.
You checked your reflection in the mirror, smoothing down the fabric nervously. Your hair was styled neatly, and you’d even put on a bit of makeup—not something you usually did unless the occasion called for it. This definitely qualified.
Gojo didn’t need to know the details of your plans. Still, his voice echoed in your head, taunting and teasing. Hot date, huh? You clenched your teeth and took a steadying breath, determined not to let him get to you.
Stepping out of your room, you found Gojo still sprawled on the couch, now munching on what appeared to be a chocolate bar. His phone was perched on his knee, and he scrolled through it lazily, not even glancing up when you walked past him.
For a second, you thought you might actually escape without another comment. But then his head snapped up, his sharp blue eyes locking onto you like a predator catching sight of prey.
“Whoa,” he said, sitting up straight and letting his phone drop onto the cushion. “What is this?”
You froze mid-step, your heart sinking. “What’s what?”
“This,” he said, gesturing broadly at you. “You. Looking like that.”
You crossed your arms, trying to appear unfazed. “It’s called getting dressed. Some of us do it properly.”
He smirked, standing up and sauntering closer, his eyes raking over your outfit—not in a leering way, but with an exaggerated flourish that made you bristle. “Are we sure this isn’t a completely different person? Because you clean up way better than I expected, Roomie.”
“Gojo,” you warned, your voice clipped.
“Relax.” He grinned, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m just saying you look… nice. Stunning, even. Makes me feel all tingly. The kind of nice that makes me wonder who you’re trying to impress.”
You stepped past him, heading for the door. “It’s none of your business.”
“Oh, it is my business,” he said, following you like an oversized shadow. “If you’re going on a date, I have a responsibility as your roommate to make sure this guy’s good enough for you. Do I need to give him the talk?”
You snorted, pulling on your shoes. “The talk? What are you, my dad?”
“Worse,” he said smugly, leaning casually against the wall near the door. “I’m your roommate. I see all the little things he doesn’t. Like the fact that you leave your underwear all over your room—”
You glared at him, your cheeks flushing,“Wh— were you in my room, you pervert?!“
He smirked, but you quickly turned around and grabbed your bag, not letting him ruin your mood. “Don’t wait up.”
“Oh, I won’t,” he said, his grin turning sly.
“Wait—,” he started, his tone light but laced with something almost mischievous, “if you are going on a date, you know the rules, right?”
You rolled your eyes, ignoring him. “There are no rules because it’s none of your business.”
“Wrong,” he said, pushing off the wall and stepping closer, his grin widening. “Rule number one: if the guy so much as breathes wrong, I’m allowed to deck him.”
“Gojo—”
“Rule number two,” he continued, holding up two fingers as if this were a serious negotiation, “if he breaks your heart, I’m always here to fix it.”
You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. “Fix it? What, with chips and bad jokes?”
His grin turned downright devilish, and he leaned slightly closer, his voice dropping just enough to send a shiver down your spine. “Not exactly what I meant, sweetheart. But if you know what I mean… well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
Your face burned instantly, and you glared at him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a flustered reaction. “You’re disgusting.”
“Hey, I’m just offering my services,” he said, backing up with a mock-innocent shrug. “I’m a giver like that.”
You threw your bag over your shoulder and turned toward the door. “Thanks, but I’ll take my chances with the real world.”
His laughter followed you, low and teasing, as you pulled the door open.
“Don’t come crying to me when the real world disappoints you!” he called after you. “But seriously—don’t let him screw this up. He’s lucky to have your attention, even if it’s temporary.”
For a moment, you faltered, caught off guard by the unexpected sincerity buried in his words. You glanced back at him, but the cocky grin was already back in place.
“Goodnight, Gojo,” you said, stepping out and shutting the door behind you.
As you walked away, his last comment replayed in your mind, a mix of genuine care and infuriating arrogance. You hated how easily he got under your skin. And worse, you hated that part of you couldn’t quite stop thinking about it.
-
The date had started out decently enough. He’d been polite when he picked the restaurant, complimented your outfit, and pulled your chair out for you when you arrived. For a brief moment, you thought this might actually turn out okay. Maybe, just maybe, you’d get through the evening without regretting every decision that led you there.
But it wasn’t long before the cracks began to show.
He started checking his phone a few minutes into the conversation. At first, it was subtle—a quick glance here, a soft buzz there. You told yourself it was probably work, something urgent that couldn’t wait. But as the evening progressed, it became increasingly obvious that it wasn’t. His chuckles at the screen, the way he tilted it away from your line of sight—it all screamed disinterest.
Still, you gave him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was nervous. Maybe he didn’t realize how much it bothered you.
But then came the comments.
“You don’t seem like the type to like action movies,” he said, after you mentioned your favorite film. His tone wasn’t curious or surprised—it was dismissive, like he already had you pegged as someone who wouldn’t understand explosions and car chases.
“Wow,” you said, forcing a polite smile. “What type do I seem like?”
He shrugged, smirking as he leaned back in his chair. “I don’t know. Rom-coms? Something light and fluffy.”
You bit back the urge to roll your eyes. “Right. Because girls only like light and fluffy things.”
He laughed, completely missing the edge in your voice. “Hey, I didn’t say that. But, you know, it’s not a bad thing. It’s cute.”
By the time dessert arrived, you’d had enough. His phone buzzed again, and this time, you didn’t bother hiding your irritation.
“Do you need to get that?” you asked, your tone sharper than intended.
He glanced up, finally noticing your expression, and smiled sheepishly. “Nah, it’s nothing. Just some friends in a group chat. You know how it is.”
“Right,” you said flatly, setting your fork down. “Well, don’t let me keep you from your important group chat.”
For a moment, he looked genuinely confused, like he couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong. But then his confidence kicked in, and he leaned forward with a smug grin.
“Come on,” he said, his tone dripping with self-assurance. “You have to admit, I’m a pretty great catch. You’re lucky I’m even single.”
You blinked, stunned by the sheer audacity of his words. “Lucky?”
“Yeah,” he said, laughing like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I mean, how often do you meet someone like me? Smart, successful, good-looking—”
You stood up, cutting him off mid-sentence. “Thanks for dinner,” you said, grabbing your bag. “But I think we’re done here.”
“What?” He gaped at you, his grin finally faltering. “Wait, you’re serious?”
“Completely,” you said, throwing some cash onto the table for your share of the bill. “Good luck with… whatever this is.”
You didn’t wait for a response. You turned on your heel and walked out, leaving him sitting there, stunned and silent.
By the time you got back to the apartment, your irritation had morphed into something else—a mix of regret, exhaustion, and the dull buzz of the wine you’d downed at dinner. You’d stopped at a bar on the way home, hoping to wash the memory of the date away, but all it had done was make your head spin.
You fumbled with your keys at the door, muttering under your breath about arrogant men and wasted evenings. When you finally managed to unlock it, you stumbled inside, kicking off your heels with a groan.
The living room was dimly lit, the soft glow of the TV illuminating Gojo, who was sprawled on the couch in his usual carefree manner. A bowl of popcorn sat in his lap, and he turned his head at the sound of the door opening.
“Well, well,” he said, sitting up slightly and smirking at your disheveled state. “Look who’s back. And drunk, no less.”
You glared at him, wobbling slightly as you made your way to the kitchen. “Not now, Gojo.”
“Oh, I think now is exactly the time,” he said, following you with a smirk. “Let me guess—date didn’t go so well?”
You grabbed a glass from the cabinet, filling it with water and drinking deeply before slamming it onto the counter. “You could say that.”
He leaned against the doorframe, watching you with that infuriating grin of his. “What happened? Did he turn out to be a secret serial killer? Or worse—a guy who calls movies ‘content’?”
You snorted despite yourself, grabbing another glass of water. “Worse. He thought he was God’s gift to women.”
Gojo let out a low whistle, shaking his head. “Ouch. Tough break, sweetheart.”
“I don’t need your pity,” you muttered, brushing past him toward your room.
He caught your arm gently, stopping you in your tracks. “Hey,” he said, his voice softer now, his usual teasing tone replaced with something almost genuine. “I’m not pitying you. Just saying you deserve better.”
You looked up at him, your vision slightly blurry, whether from the alcohol or the sincerity in his words.
“I know I do,” you said quietly. “But it’s not like guys like that are exactly rare.”
He frowned, his grip on your arm tightening ever so slightly. “Then maybe stop wasting your time on losers who don’t know what they’ve got.”
You snorted, pulling your arm free, as you entered your room. “Oh, right, because the perfect guy is just going to fall into my lap?”
Gojo grinned at your sarcastic remark, that infuriating spark of mischief lighting up his eyes. Before you could process what was happening, he moved quickly, closing the distance between you in a couple of long strides.
“Gojo, what the—”
Without warning, he gave you a gentle push, and your knees buckled, sending you backward onto your bed. You landed with a soft bounce, your protest cut short as he followed, dropping down beside you in one smooth motion.
But instead of stopping there, he shifted lower, placing his head directly in your lap. His face nestled against your thighs, his hair brushing against the soft fabric of your dress.
Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding in your chest. “Gojo!”
He tilted his head to look up at you, his grin widening as though this were the most natural thing in the world. “What? You said you were waiting for the perfect guy to fall into your lap. Here I am.”
You stared at him, half in disbelief and half in a panic at the heat creeping up your neck. “Get off me!”
He didn’t budge. Instead, he made himself more comfortable, his arms casually draping across your waist like he belonged there. “Why? Your thighs are pretty nice. You’re comfortable, and I’m saving you from wasting time on all those losers out there.”
Your hands hovered uselessly in the air, unsure whether to shove him off or cover your face to hide the blush spreading across your cheeks. “You’re insane,” you finally managed, trying to ignore the way his breath tickled your skin.
“And you’re cute when you’re mad,” he murmured, his voice dipping into something softer, almost teasing, as his head shifted slightly against your lap.
Before you could snap back, he turned further into your thighs, the movement deliberate, nuzzling deeper as though testing just how far he could push you. Your breath hitched, caught between outrage and something you didn’t want to name.
It wasn’t until you felt the warmth of his breath, hot and steady, against the thin barrier of your panties that you froze completely. The realization hit like a jolt—your dress had ridden up when he pushed you onto the bed, leaving the bare skin of your thighs pressed against his face.
“Gojo,” you said, your voice coming out sharper than intended.
He didn’t immediately move, his lips quirking in a way that told you he knew exactly what he was doing. There was an unmistakable smugness in the way he exhaled, a low hum vibrating against your skin.
“You smell nice,” he remarked lazily, his words sending a shockwave of mortification through you.
Heat flooded your face “You’re disgusting!”
He raised his hands in mock surrender. “What? I’m just being honest. You should be flattered.”
Before you could fire back, he leaned in again, catching you completely off guard. His tongue dragged a slow, deliberate line up the fabric of your panties, the warmth and pressure sending an involuntary shiver down your spine.
Your breath hitched as your hand shot out, fingers tangling in his hair. You yanked, forcing him to pull back slightly. “Gojo—what are you doing?” you muttered, voice barely above a whisper, your cheeks burning hot enough to rival the sun.
His eyes locked onto yours, half-lidded and teasing, as his hands rested firmly on either side of your thighs. “Satoru,” he corrected, his voice low and smooth. “Call me Satoru.”
You couldn’t tell if it was his tone or the way he said it, but something about the moment sent your thoughts scattering. His gaze, piercing and unrelenting, didn’t waver as you tried to form a coherent response.
“Satoru,” you repeated, the name slipping out more out of shock than agreement.
He hummed in approval, the sound vibrating through him and straight into you. “See? That wasn’t so hard.” His grin softened, still playful but laced with something heavier, something you couldn’t quite place. The weight of his gaze was nearly unbearable.
“What are you doing—?” you asked again, your voice catching in your throat. Your eyes stayed locked on his, searching for any hint that he was joking, that this was just another one of his games.
Instead, his expression softened further, the teasing edge of his smirk shifting into something far more deliberate. “Remember what I said before you went out?”
You frowned, confused and thrown off balance, but before you could respond, he reached up. His hand closed over yours where it was still tangled in his hair, his touch uncharacteristically gentle as he pried your fingers free. You let him guide your hand down, watching in stunned silence as he brought it to his lips.
The kiss he pressed to your knuckles was warm, lingering, and shockingly intimate. The sensation sent a jolt through you, your breath hitching as his lips brushed against your skin.
“‘If he breaks your heart, I’m always here to fix it,’” he murmured, his tone lower now, almost a whisper, like the words were meant for you alone.
His eyes stayed on yours, and for once, they weren’t filled with amusement or mockery. There was something raw there, something that made your stomach twist painfully, though whether it was from unease or… something else, you couldn’t say.
You couldn’t find the words to respond, your voice caught in your throat. Your heart hammered in your chest, and your head felt too foggy, too clouded with alcohol and the heat of his touch.
“So…” he said after a moment, his thumb brushing lightly over the back of your hand, tracing absent patterns into your skin. “What do you say? Will you let me fix your heartbreak?”
His smile returned, slow and deliberate, but it wasn’t as infuriating as before. This one was softer, almost tender, though it still carried that maddening confidence that was so inherently him.
The room seemed to shrink around you, the air growing heavier with every passing second. You felt his free hand move, his palm sliding to rest against your thigh. His touch was steady, the warmth of it searing through your skin.
You knew you should say something—anything—but the words wouldn’t come. Your mind was spinning, and it felt like all the blood in your body had rushed to your face. Every instinct screamed at you to pull away, to break whatever spell he was weaving.
And yet, before you even realized what you were doing, you nodded. It was subtle, hesitant, but unmistakable.
His smile widened, a glimmer of triumph flashing in his eyes. “Good answer,” he said softly, his hand squeezing your thigh just enough to make your pulse quicken.
You swallowed hard, your breathing uneven as he leaned in closer, his face still pressed near your lap, his thumb still tracing lazy circles into your skin. Your thoughts felt muddled, trapped somewhere between disbelief and the hazy warmth spreading through your body.
Somewhere deep down, a small part of you screamed to stop this, to regain control of the situation. But in that moment, with the alcohol clouding your judgment and his touch grounding you in ways you couldn’t explain, you didn’t move.
You barely had time to register what was happening before his hands found your shoulders, gently pushing your upper body back against the mattress. The soft give of the bed beneath you made it impossible to resist as he shifted your position, leaving you staring up at the ceiling.
His movements were deliberate, slow enough to let you protest if you wanted to. But you didn’t. You felt the brush of his hands against your thighs, warm and confident as he worked your dress higher, inch by inch, until it bunched at your waist. The cool air hitting your skin made you shiver, and you became acutely aware of just how exposed you were.
Your damp panties were now on full display, the fabric clinging to you in a way that made heat bloom across your face. A small voice in your head begged you to snap out of it, to push him away and demand he stop. But the alcohol’s haze dulled that voice into a faint whisper.
The you from a week ago would be screaming at you right now. She’d call you an idiot for letting this happen, for giving him this satisfaction. You knew Gojo—he’d never let you live this down. Tomorrow, he’d smirk and tease, and you’d be left trying to figure out why you hadn’t stopped him.
But none of that mattered right now. You were too drunk, too tired, too overwhelmed to care.
Just this once, you thought. You’d let him have this one, even if you knew it was a terrible idea.
His fingers slid over the damp fabric of your panties, his touch cold enough to make you shiver but firm enough to send a spark of something foreign racing through you. He pressed his palm against the growing wet patch, massaging gently, as if testing your reaction.
“So wet,” he murmured, his voice low and almost reverent. His thumb brushed over the edge of the fabric, dangerously close to your bare skin.
Your breath hitched, and you bit down on your lip to keep from making a sound. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, your gaze glued to the ceiling as his words hung in the air, taunting you with their boldness.
You should have stopped him. You knew you should have. But instead, your body betrayed you, your hips shifting just slightly into his touch. It was all the encouragement he needed.
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a/n: get cockblocked loser ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜
© fvsm4x : do not translate, plagiarise or steal my work.
2K notes · View notes
elikajinnie · 6 months ago
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hii! hope ur doing good I have some ideas in mind hear me out demon sunghoon where he fell in love with reader and tries to protect and keep an eye on her and sunghoon tries to disguise himself as a human to get closer to her will do anything to protect her and love her, buttt what if reader discover’s his true identity. It could be incubus sunghoon BUT ITS UR CHOICE, Hope ur doing good :333
The Incubus's Touch - P.S
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a/n: i hope you like it <33
P: Incubus!Sunghoon X Fem!Reader (Recommended age 18+)
Warnings: Murder, Violence, Obsession, Teasing, Possession, Seduction, Hurt/Comfort, Temptation, Stalking, Suggestive Content, Mature Content.
Wordcount: 10.2k
Synopsis: Working at the old campus library was fun—except for one rule: never enter the basement. Yet, one day, you found yourself there, holding an ancient book. You read a few words, and now strange things are happening, and a mysterious new student won’t leave you alone. Who—or what—did you awaken?
a/n: i got some inspiration from a new book im reading called The Devil Makes Three by Tori Bovalino - i would recommend it if you can handle slowburn.
now playing: woo by rihanna | sins (let me in) by kanii | temptation by ashley sienna | dont mess with my mind by emo
reblogs and commentary are welcomed <3
--
When you first decided to get a job close to campus, you weren’t expecting much. In fact, you didn’t have many choices at all. Most of the cafes and shops near the university had already filled their rosters for the semester, and every rejection you received only added to the growing knot of anxiety in your chest. As the weeks passed, you found yourself growing desperate, spending late nights scrolling through job postings that seemed to disappear before you could even send in an application.
It wasn’t until one quiet afternoon in the campus library that your salvation arrived.
The campus library had always been your sanctuary—quiet, calm, and filled with the smell of old books. It wasn’t unusual for you to spend hours tucked into one of the corners, surrounded by towering shelves of books and the gentle hum of the air conditioning. The librarian, Mrs. Choi, had gotten used to seeing you there almost every day, to the point where she’d started greeting you by name when you walked through the doors.
That day, she had approached your table while you were hunched over your laptop, your screen open to yet another fruitless job search.
“Still looking?” she’d asked, her voice soft but knowing.
You’d sighed, leaning back in your chair. “Yeah. It’s been… rough.”
She’d nodded thoughtfully, her gaze drifting toward the stacks of books waiting to be shelved. Then, after a moment, she’d said, “How would you feel about working here? As my assistant?”
You’d blinked, thinking you must have misheard her. “Wait, really?”
“Really,” she’d said, smiling faintly. “It’s nothing glamorous, but we could use an extra set of hands. And you seem like the kind of person who’d do well here.”
You didn’t need to think twice. You’d eagerly accepted the offer on the spot.
The job, as it turned out, was exactly what you’d needed. Sorting out books, erasing stray pencil marks and doodles from pages, sitting behind the counter to check books in and out, cleaning shelves, making sure the computers were turned off at the end of the day—it was simple work.
You quickly fell into a routine. Most days, you worked quietly alongside Mrs. Choi, who was as patient and kind. Other times, you found yourself alone.
There were small challenges, of course— like figuring out the library catalog system, dealing with students who were less than gentle with the books, chasing down overdue returns—but they were minor in the grand scheme of things.
It wasn’t the job you’d imagined yourself doing, but it turned out to be exactly what you needed.
But there was one simple rule she had given you: never enter the basement alone.
At first, you thought it was strange. The basement was just a storage space, wasn’t it? A place to keep old supplies, forgotten books, and maybe some outdated equipment. Why would it matter if you were alone or not?
You got your answer the first time Mrs. Choi took you down there.
It had been a quiet afternoon, with only a few students milling around the library. Mrs. Choi had handed you a list of supplies needed to repair a torn book—a delicate process that required some old tools and adhesives she kept locked away downstairs. She led you to a small, unassuming door at the far corner of the library, almost hidden behind one of the towering shelves.
The moment the door creaked open, the atmosphere changed.
The air was heavier, colder. A faint smell of mold hit your nose immediately, mixed with something metallic that made you wrinkle your nose. The single light bulb at the top of the stairs flickered, casting shadows that danced along the narrow stairwell. You hesitated, but Mrs. Choi gave you a reassuring look and motioned for you to follow.
“I know it’s not exactly inviting,” she said with a small smile, descending the stairs, “but the supplies we need are down here. Just stick close to me.”
You nodded and followed her, but the deeper you went, the more uneasy you felt. The basement wasn’t just dark—it was suffocatingly so. The walls were lined with shelves cluttered with dust-covered boxes, forgotten stacks of books, and unidentifiable objects. The floor beneath your feet was uneven, cracked concrete, and your steps echoed in the silence.
And then there were the hallways.
You hadn’t expected the basement to be so sprawling. Hallways branched off in seemingly every direction, twisting and turning into darkness. Some of them were so narrow you’d have to walk sideways to squeeze through. Others disappeared entirely into shadows, the overhead lights either burned out or nonexistent.
“This library is older than the campus itself,” Mrs. Choi explained as she rummaged through a shelf near the end of one of the hallways. “The basement used to be part of an old archive building before the university bought the property. They’ve renovated the library a dozen times over the years, but the basement? Well…” She trailed off, gesturing to the decaying walls around you.
“Out of sight, out of mind,” you muttered, wrinkling your nose at the sight of a particularly large spiderweb on the wall.
Mrs. Choi chuckled softly. “Exactly. What the students can’t see won’t hurt them—or so the administration likes to think. Just be glad you don’t have to come down here often.”
You nodded, but your eyes kept drifting to the dark hallways. There was something… off about them.
“Mrs. Choi?” you asked, your voice quieter than you intended.
“Hmm?” she replied without looking up.
“Why don’t you want me coming down here alone?”
She paused, her hands stilling on the box she’d been searching through. For a long moment, she didn’t say anything, and you felt a chill crawl up your spine. When she finally spoke, her tone was casual—too casual.
“It’s easy to get lost,” she said, turning to you with a faint smile. “The layout down here doesn’t make much sense, and it’s not exactly safe to wander around in the dark. The last thing I want is for you to trip and hurt yourself.”
Her explanation made sense, but the way she avoided your gaze left you unconvinced. Still, you didn’t press the issue. You helped her carry the supplies back upstairs, relieved to step back into the library.
After that, you made a point to follow her rule. The basement was creepy enough with someone else—there was no way you were going down there alone.
At least, not until the night you had no choice.
It happened a few weeks later, after a long shift that had stretched past closing time. Mrs. Choi had gone home early, trusting you to lock up on your own. Most of the evening had just been returning books to their shelves, tidying up the counter, shutting down the computers—but just as you were about to leave, you noticed a small stack of books on the repair desk.
You froze, staring at them. Mrs. Choi had asked you to fix those earlier in the week, but you’d completely forgotten. The supplies you needed were downstairs—in the basement.
You hesitated, debating whether you could just leave it for tomorrow, but you knew Mrs. Choi was counting on you. Sighing, you grabbed a flashlight from the front desk and made your way to the basement door.
You hesitated at the door, keys in hand, as a quiet, uneasy thought crossed your mind: Just leave it for tomorrow. But Mrs. Choi... She was counting on you. The supplies were just downstairs. It’d take five minutes at most.
With a resigned sigh, you unlocked the door.
The heavy, creaking groan of the hinges sent a shiver down your spine as the door swung open. The familiar smell hit you immediately: damp, mold, and that faint metallic. You reached for the light switch, flipping it on without much thought.
Nothing happened.
You froze, your hand still on the switch. You flicked it again. And again. Still nothing.
You swallowed hard, telling yourself the bulb had probably just burned out—though you couldn’t remember a time the light had ever failed before.
“It’s fine,” you muttered under your breath, bringing the flashlight you’d brought along up. The bright beam cut through the darkness as you clicked it on, illuminating the narrow staircase in front of you. You took a shaky breath and began your descent.
The further down you went, the colder it became.
The air felt heavier here, pressing against your skin like a warning. You tried to focus on the flashlight’s beam, watching it bounce against the cracked walls and uneven steps. It helped, a little. But not enough to shake the growing knot of unease curling in your stomach.
When you finally reached the bottom of the staircase, you paused to look around. The beam of your flashlight swept across the basement, revealing the same maze of shelves, forgotten boxes, and darkened hallways you’d seen before. But tonight, it felt different—almost unfamiliar.
A shiver ran up your spine. You adjusted your grip on the flashlight, forcing yourself to move.
“Okay,” you whispered to yourself. “Get the supplies and leave.”
You turned toward the shelf where Mrs. Choi always kept the repair tools. They were usually right there—neatly stored in a small wooden crate on the middle shelf. But as you shone the flashlight over it, you froze.
The shelf was empty.
Your heart skipped a beat as you quickly scanned the area. No crate. No tools. Nothing. You crouched down, checking the lower shelves, even though you knew they’d never been there before. Still nothing.
“Where…?” you muttered, your voice barely audible over the sound of your own breathing.
Maybe Mrs. Choi had moved them? That was possible, right? She was always reorganizing things. You straightened up, your flashlight flicking from shelf to shelf, moving to step back, you were about tt turn to check the other shelves nearby. That’s when you heard it.
A faint sound, just on the edge of your hearing. A soft creak, like the sound of a door easing open—or maybe a floorboard shifting underfoot.
You froze, your flashlight trembling slightly in your hand.
“Hello?” you called out, your voice louder than you intended. It echoed through the basement, bouncing off the walls and disappearing into the dark hallways. No response.
You told yourself it was nothing. Maybe just the old pipes settling, or your own footsteps disturbing something. But as you turned back to the shelf, another sound reached you.
This time, it was softer—quieter. Like the faint rustle of fabric.
Your stomach dropped.
You swung the flashlight toward the nearest hallway, its beam cutting through the dark. Nothing. Just more shelves, more shadows. But your instincts were screaming at you now, telling you to leave. To get out of there.
"Okay, nope," you whispered to yourself, backing away from the hallway, your flashlight trembling slightly in your hands.
That’s when you heard it.
A hum.
Soft, almost melodic, like someone humming a lullaby just out of earshot. It floated through the air, carried on a breeze that shouldn’t have existed down here. The sound wrapped around you, tender and strangely inviting, tugging at something deep inside your chest.
You froze, the flashlight beam flickering as your grip loosened. The hum grew louder—not in an overwhelming way, but in a way that seemed to sink into your bones. It felt… warm.
Where were you again?
You frowned, the thought slipping through your mind like water through your fingers. You couldn’t remember. The dim basement around you blurred at the edges, the walls dissolving into a hazy glow. The tight knot of fear in your stomach melted away, replaced by a slow, pleasant warmth that spread through your body.
The hum wrapped around you like a blanket, comforting and wonderful, coaxing you to close your eyes and just… relax. The cold, damp smell of the basement faded, replaced by something sweeter. Flowers? No… vanilla, maybe. Something that reminded you of home.
You let out a soft sigh, your muscles relaxing, the tension in your shoulders fading. Your flashlight slipped from your fingers and clattered to the ground, but you barely noticed.
Everything felt so perfect.
You wanted to stay here forever.
But then, just as suddenly as it had started, the hum stopped.
And everything crashed back into focus.
The warmth in your chest was gone, replaced by a sharp chill that clawed at your skin. The sweetness in the air vanished, leaving behind the bitter stench of mold and metal. Your surroundings solidified, and you realized you were no longer standing where you’d been before.
You were in a different room.
The walls were smooth and gray, completely different from the crumbling concrete of the basement hallways. The shelves were gone, replaced by nothing but cold, empty space. The air felt heavier, colder, and every breath you took made your chest ache.
Your flashlight was nowhere to be seen, but a dim, pale light seemed to seep into the room from nowhere and everywhere at once.
The hum was gone, but the silence it left behind was worse.
You turned in slow circles, your heart hammering in your chest. The room was small, with smooth, gray walls that loomed over you, stretching upward into darkness.
“Hello?” you called, your voice trembling.
It echoed back to you, warped and distant, as if the room was far larger than it seemed.
The warped echoes of your voice faded into the suffocating silence of the room, leaving only the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears.
How did you even get here?
You couldn't remember. Your mind was still foggy, fragments of warmth and that eerie hum lingering in the back of your thoughts like an unfinished dream.
Did you walk here?
You felt like you were missing pieces of yourself, as if part of your memory had been swallowed whole.
You were about to take a tentative step forward when something deep inside you shifted—a strange, unnatural pull. It wasn't a sensation you could describe easily. It was as though a string deep within your chest was being tugged, pulling you toward something.
You froze, your breath catching as your eyes followed the invisible tether.
In the center of the room, sitting on a low, ornate stand, was a book.
Your heart stuttered. Had that been there before? You were sure it wasn’t. You would have noticed it immediately, wouldn’t you?
The book seemed to glow faintly, its crimson-red cover almost pulsating, like it was alive. There were no words or symbols on the front, just smooth, worn leather that seemed impossibly pristine for something that felt so… ancient.
You swallowed hard, your feet moving toward it as if on their own. Each step felt heavier, your instincts screaming at you to turn around, to run, but you couldn’t stop.
When you finally reached it, you hesitated.
It was smaller than you expected, almost delicate, as though it shouldn’t have belonged in a place like this. Despite its vivid crimson color, the book radiated a strange sense of calm—like it wanted to be touched.
Before you realized it, your fingers were brushing against the cover.
It felt smooth, almost unnaturally so, and surprisingly light when you picked it up. You turned it over in your hands, the edges soft and perfectly bound, as if the book had been untouched for centuries. But on the back, something caught your attention.
A pink heart.
It was imprinted into the leather, subtle, making it look almost playful.
You huffed, confused and almost annoyed by how strange it all felt. Turning the book back over, you slowly opened it.
The pages inside were blank.
Every single one, clean and untouched, as though the book had never been written in. But when you turned to the first page, something stopped you in your tracks.
There was writing.
It was delicate, inked in looping, elegant script that seemed to shimmer faintly in the dim light. The letters were strange, unfamiliar, but they seemed alive, as though they were moving ever so slightly, shifting and breathing on the page.
Latin, your mind supplied, though you couldn’t remember ever studying the language.
You tilted your head, curiosity overriding your fear as your eyes traced the unfamiliar words. They beckoned to you, pulling you in deeper. Before you even realized what you were doing, your lips parted, and you read them aloud:
"Qui me legit, fiat noster ligamen aeternum."
Nothing happened.
You stared at the book, waiting for some dramatic effect—a rumble, a flash of light, maybe a ghostly apparition—but there was nothing. Just silence.
You let out an annoyed huff, rolling your eyes. “Great. Real spooky,” you muttered under your breath. Closing the book with a snap, you placed it back on the stand, wiping your hands on your jeans as if to rid yourself of its texture. “What a waste of time.”
Turning around, you glanced around the room again, your frustration growing. It wasn’t like you had time to deal with creepy books in creepy basements. You still needed to get out of here and figure out why the supplies weren’t where they were supposed to be.
Then, you saw it.
A door.
It was open, just wide enough for you to slip through. You frowned. Had it been there before? It must’ve been—how else would you have gotten in here? Still, something about it didn’t sit right with you.
Was that where you came from?
You shrugged. Probably.
With no other options, you headed toward it, slipping through the opening, the faint creak of the hinges echoing unnervingly.
And then you were swallowed by darkness.
“Of course,” you muttered, groaning. Without the flashlight from earlier, the darkness was thick and impenetrable. You could barely see an inch in front of your face, and the faint light from the room behind you did nothing to help.
Fishing your phone from your pocket, you switched on its flashlight. The beam wasn’t as strong as the flashlight you’d been carrying before, but it was enough to see the area around you.
The floor beneath your feet was uneven and cold, a mixture of dirt and cracked stone. You shone the light around, trying to get your bearings. The walls were damp and covered in spiderwebs, and the faint scent of mold and rust lingered in the air.
Where even am I?
You took a tentative step forward, the beam of light from your phone trembling as you moved.
The hallway kept stretching forward, narrow and seemingly endless. The farther you walked, the more the walls seemed to close in around you, the air growing colder with each step. Your phone’s light flickered once, then again, making your pulse spike.
“Don’t you dare die on me,” you whispered, gripping the device tighter.
The light steadied, and you exhaled a shaky breath, your footsteps faltering slightly.
Something felt off.
The air was too still, the silence too absolute. It was the kind of quiet that made you feel like you were being watched, like something was lurking just beyond the reach of your light.
You shook your head, trying to focus. “Get it together,” you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper. “Just find the exit.”
But as you took another step, something caught your attention.
A sound.
It was faint at first, almost imperceptible, but it grew louder the more you listened. A soft, rhythmic tapping, like footsteps… or fingers drumming against a surface.
You froze, the beam of your phone’s light shaking as your hands trembled. The sound echoed faintly through the corridor, coming from somewhere ahead of you.
“Hello?” you called, your voice cracking slightly.
No response.
The tapping stopped.
You waited, holding your breath, your ears straining for any hint of movement.
Then, suddenly, the tapping started again—this time behind you.
Your stomach dropped, and you whipped around, the flashlight from your phone sweeping over the hallway you’d just walked through. It was empty.
Completely, utterly empty.
You took a shaky step backward, your heart hammering in your chest. The tapping grew louder, faster, coming from all around you now, echoing off the walls in a maddening cacophony.
“Stop it,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “Just stop!”
And then it did.
The silence that followed was deafening, almost worse than the sound itself. You took another step back, your pulse racing, and suddenly the floor beneath you gave way.
With a startled cry, you fell, the phone slipping from your hand as you tumbled into darkness.
You hit the ground hard, the impact knocking the air from your lungs. Dazed and disoriented, you lay there for a moment, your head spinning and your body aching.
When you finally managed to sit up, you realized you were no longer in the narrow hallway.
You were back in the room.
The light was gone, replaced by an suffocating darkness that seemed to stretch endlessly around you.
And in the center of the room, sitting on the stand where you’d left it, was the book.
But this time, it wasn`t red.
It was black.
And it was beating.
You screamed, the sound raw and terrified as it echoed around the room. Your knees buckled, and you collapsed to the ground, trembling uncontrollably. Your body felt impossibly heavy, as though some unseen force was pressing down on you, rooting you in place.
Frantic, your eyes darted around the room, searching for a way out, for anything to explain what was happening. But the darkness seemed alive now, shifting and writhing just beyond your vision.
And then, you felt it.
Hot breath, impossibly close, brushing against your ear.
Your breath hitched as warmth spread through you, pooling low in your stomach, and you hated how your body betrayed you, reacting to something you couldn’t even see.
Then came the lips.
Soft, feather-light, trailing along the curve of your neck. The sensation was so vivid, so real, that a groan escaped your lips before you could stop it. Your body arched instinctively, leaning into the phantom touch, even as your mind screamed at you to fight it, to run, to do something.
“Shh,” a voice purred, its tone soothing. “There’s no need to be afraid, my sweet. You called me, remember?”
Your heart raced, and your hands clenched into fists as you tried to regain control of your body. “What… what are you?” you managed to choke out, your voice barely above a whisper.
The presence behind you chuckled, the sound low and intimate, like a lover’s laugh shared in the dark.
“I’m yours,” it said simply, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “You read the words. You invited me in. And now… we’re bound.”
You shook your head, tears welling in your eyes. “No, no, this isn’t real. This can’t be real.”
“Oh, but it is,” the voice replied, amusement lacing its tone. “You wanted something, didn’t you? Why else would you open that book? Why else would you speak those words?”
The weight on your body eased slightly, enough for you to shift and try to crawl away, but the darkness coiled around you like a living thing, keeping you in place.
“You don’t even know what you’ve done, do you?” the voice murmured, almost pitying. “Poor thing. You were so eager, so curious. And now…”
A hand—cold yet burning—brushed against your cheek, tilting your head up toward the stand where the book still rested.
“…you’re mine.”
The room seemed to pulse with those final words, the darkness tightening around you like a vice. Your vision blurred as panic clawed at your throat, and the last thing you saw before everything went black was the book—its pages flipping wildly on their own—glowing faintly with a sinister crimson light.
You woke up with a sharp gasp, your body jolting upright like you’d been shocked awake. But as you looked around, you realized you were lying in the middle of the hallway.
Your phone was on the floor beside you, its flashlight pointed up at the cracked ceiling.
It was a dream?
You laughed, breathless and shaky, running a hand through your hair as you tried to calm yourself. “This is insane,” you muttered, your voice trembling. The laughter didn’t last long—it felt hollow, a desperate attempt to convince yourself that what you’d experienced wasn’t real.
You snatched up your phone, and scrambled to your feet. Without wasting another second, you sprinted down the hallway, the weak beam of your phone’s flashlight bouncing with every step. You didn’t care where you were going anymore; you just needed to get out.
The hallways twisted and turned, stretching endlessly, and every shadow seemed to claw at you as you ran. It felt like hours—like the labyrinth was mocking you, refusing to let you leave.
But finally, somehow, you found your way back.
The dim light of the main basement room greeted you, and your breath hitched as your eyes landed on something you hadn’t expected to see.
The box of supplies.
It was sitting on the shelf, exactly where it was supposed to be.
Your heart pounded in your chest as you stared at it. The same box you’d been searching for, on the same shelf you’d checked before.
How had it gotten here?
You didn’t dare question it. Not now. Not after everything that had just happened.
Without hesitation, you grabbed the box, clutching it tightly in one hand while you snatched the flashlight off the ground with the other.
Then you bolted.
Your feet thundered up the stairs, your pulse roaring in your ears as you raced for the exit. When you reached the top, you slammed the basement door shut and locked it, your hands shaking so badly it took you a couple of tries to get the key to turn.
The moment it was locked, you pressed your back against the door, your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath.
You glanced down at the supplies in your arms, the mundane, ordinary contents almost laughable now after everything you’d been through.
But as you stood there, something cold prickled at the back of your neck.
You turned slowly, your eyes drifting toward the library’s main floor.
Everything was still. Silent.
And yet, for a brief moment, you could’ve sworn you saw a figure standing in the shadows between the shelves.
Watching you.
You blinked, and it was gone.
This was crazy. Absolutely crazy.
You forced yourself to take a deep breath, shaking your head as you clutched the box tighter. You were just tired, that was all. You hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep in days, and the stress of balancing school and work was clearly catching up to you. Yeah, tired. That’s all this is, you thought, repeating it like a mantra.
Ignoring the lingering unease prickling at the back of your neck, you made your way to the counter. The two ripped books Mrs. Choi had left were still there, waiting for you. You dropped the box down with a thud, grabbed the tools you needed, and got to work.
Your hands trembled at first as you smoothed out the torn pages, applying the adhesive carefully. You focused on the process—cutting, pressing, and smoothing out the repair strips—letting the repetitive actions calm your frayed nerves.
This was normal. Fixing books. Doing your job. Nothing weird about that.
Minutes passed. Then longer. The books were almost done, and for a moment, you felt like you could breathe again.
But then, just as you reached for the last tool in the box, a soft tap echoed through the library.
Your hand froze mid-reach, your eyes darting toward the source of the sound.
Tap… tap… tap.
It came from the direction of the shelves, slow and deliberate, like someone tapping their nails against wood.
Your chest tightened as you stared into the rows of books, the library was dark now—darker than it should’ve been. The overhead lights seemed dimmer, casting distorted shadows across the shelves.
You swallowed hard, trying to convince yourself it was nothing. Maybe it was the building settling, or the heating system kicking on. Don’t be stupid. You’re just scaring yourself.
Still, you couldn’t help but call out, your voice wavering. “Hello?”
No response.
The tapping stopped.
You stared into the darkness for what felt like an eternity, your heart hammering in your chest.
Then, just as you were about to turn back to the books, a book fell from one of the shelves.
The sound was deafening, the thud reverberating through the library like a gunshot.
You jumped, your breath hitching, and spun toward the source. The book lay open on the floor, its pages splayed out like wings.
You didn’t want to go over there. Every instinct in your body screamed at you to stay behind the counter, to leave it alone.
But your feet moved on their own, taking slow, hesitant steps toward the fallen book.
When you finally reached the book, you crouched down, your hand trembling as you picked it up.
Your fingers brushed over the embossed title, and your stomach dropped.
It was the same book you’d seen in the basement.
You gasped, clutching the crimson book tightly as your eyes darted around the library. Maybe this was some sort of prank? Someone could have grabbed the book from the basement and planted it here to scare you.
“Hello?” you called out again, but the library was still empty, silent.
Your breathing quickened as you scanned the shelves, desperate to catch a glimpse of anyone—a student pulling some cruel joke, or maybe Mrs. Choi coming back to check on you. But there was no one.
You hurried back to the counter, your heart racing, and turned on the computer. Your fingers fumbled as you brought up the CCTV footage, the small screen flickering to life. You scrubbed through the past hour, watching yourself walking back and forth, grabbing the box, and fixing the books.
Nothing.
No one else had entered the library. The hallways and shelves were empty. It was just you, moving around, completely alone.
Well… almost.
You paused the footage, your heart sinking as your eyes locked onto a shadow. It was faint, barely distinguishable, but for one brief frame, something seemed to linger in the corner of the screen. Not a person, but… something.
It was gone in the next frame.
“Nope. Nope, nope, nope,” you muttered under your breath, slamming the monitor off.
You looked at the crimson book sitting on the counter, its cover gleaming faintly under the dim light. It felt wrong—its very presence seemed to thrum.
Without thinking, you grabbed it and tossed it into the nearest trash bin, making sure it landed deep under crumpled paper and leftover scraps.
“There,” you said to yourself, your voice shaky. “Done.”
Forcing yourself to focus, you went back to finishing the torn books, your hands working faster than ever. As soon as the repairs were complete, you shoved the box under the counter and hurried to turn off the lights.
The library plunged into darkness, the faint moonlight filtering through the windows barely enough to guide you as you locked the doors behind you.
You didn’t realize how late it had gotten until you stepped outside. The campus was quiet, the lampposts casting long shadows across the pathways.
You tightened your coat around you and began the walk home, your footsteps echoing loud. Every so often, you glanced over your shoulder, unable to shake the feeling that someone was following you.
But the path behind you was always empty.
Still, the unease stayed with you, like a cold weight settling deep in your chest.
When you finally reached your apartment, you locked the door behind you, double-checking it twice before collapsing onto the couch. You stared at the ceiling, your mind racing.
Maybe it was nothing. Maybe you were just tired, your imagination running wild after a long day.
Before you knew it, sleep had overtaken you. The exhaustion from the long day weighed down on your body like a blanket, pulling you into unconsciousness almost instantly.
But the peace of sleep didn’t last long.
You found yourself in a dimly lit bedroom, one you didn’t recognize. The walls were draped with dark curtains, and the air was heavy with the faint scent of roses. You sat up slowly, blinking in confusion as you tried to make sense of where you were.
“How did I…?” you murmured, your voice trailing off.
Before you could process anything, a voice, smooth and rich like velvet, broke the silence.
“My, you’re even more beautiful up close.”
The words sent a shiver down your spine, equal parts alluring and unsettling. You whipped your head around, searching for the source, but the shadows in the room seemed to shift and dance, obscuring whoever was speaking to you.
“I’ve been waiting for this moment,” the voice continued, closer now, almost right beside your ear. “To touch you… to feel you…”
You gasped as a pair of lips suddenly pressed against yours, soft but demanding.
Your initial instinct was to pull away, but the sensation was overwhelming. Your mind grew hazy, a strange warmth spreading through your chest as the kiss deepened. It felt so intoxicating, so magnetic, that you couldn’t help but melt into it.
Your heart pounded in your chest, your thoughts scattering like leaves in the wind. The kiss was unlike anything you’d ever experienced—it was all-consuming, as though the very act of it was pulling you further into the dream.
You felt hands brush against your skin, feather-light but firm, holding you in place.
You tried to pull back, but the hands held you steady, the kiss turning more possessive. The warmth you’d felt earlier now burned, searing through your veins as if something was being poured into you.
Panic swelled in your chest, but just as you were about to scream, the room spun violently, and everything went dark.
When your eyes shot open, you were back on your couch, drenched in sweat. Your chest heaved as you gasped for air, your fingers clutching the fabric of your shirt.
It was a dream. Just a dream.
But the lingering warmth on your lips, the faint ache of the kiss, told you otherwise.
And as you glanced toward the door, you froze.
The crimson book was sitting there, completely untouched, resting on the floor as if it had never been buried at all.
Your blood ran cold.
You scrambled to your feet, your heart pounding as you stared at the book. How was it there again? You knew you’d buried it deep under the pile of scraps.
“Nope. Not dealing with this,” you muttered, your voice shaking but resolute.
You grabbed the book, your fingers brushing against its smooth, cold cover. A strange, pleasant warmth crawled up your arm at the contact, sending shivers through your body. For a fleeting moment, it felt good—too good. Your grip faltered as a soft sigh escaped your lips, unbidden.
No.
Shaking your head fiercely, you tightened your grip and turned toward the window. Without hesitating, you threw it open, the cool night air brushing against your flushed face.
With all the strength you could muster, you hurled the book out. It spiraled through the air before landing with a dull thud on the damp grass below.
You leaned against the windowsill, watching the book. It lay there, unmoving.
Relief coursed through you.
“That’s it,” you whispered. “Stay there. Stay gone.”
Slamming the window shut, you locked it, double-checking the latch before stepping back.
You needed to clear your head, to shake off the strange sensations still crawling under your skin. Heading to the bathroom, you stripped off your clothes.
The shower hissed to life, steam rising as the water warmed. You stepped under the stream, letting the heat cascade over you, washing away the sweat and fear clinging to your body.
You closed your eyes, taking deep breaths, trying to convince yourself it was all in your head. Just a bad day. Just a stressful, weird day.
You squeezed your eyes shut, the sound of the water beating against your skin filling your ears as you focused on your breathing. It’s fine. It’s just your imagination. Nothing weird is going on. You’re tired, just tired, you repeated in your mind.
The water seemed colder now, even though the temperature hadn't changed, and a shiver ran down your spine. You’re overthinking it. Just get out of the shower and relax, you told yourself, but your hands felt heavy as you reached for the soap.
Just as you were about to wash your face, a soft tap echoed from somewhere beyond the bathroom door.
You froze, the motion of your hands stalling in midair.
Tap... Tap...
Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes darted to the bathroom door.
It was all too familiar. You couldn’t breathe, your chest tightening as the sound echoed louder in your mind.
No. No. It’s just the house settling. Maybe it’s the pipes. Just the pipes.
But the words felt hollow in your mind, the fear building with every passing second. The taps grew louder, clearer, almost closer.
You turned off the water quickly, your heart hammering in your chest. You stood there, motionless, listening, waiting for the sound to stop.
But it didn’t.
And then a creak. Just slightly, but enough for you to hear.
You gasped, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around yourself as you backed away, your legs shaking. Your mind screamed at you to leave the bathroom, to get out of the apartment, but you couldn’t move.
Then, before you could react, the door opened, just a crack.
There was nothing on the other side.
Just the empty hallway beyond.
But you knew. You knew it wasn’t right.
You slammed the door shut and locked it immediately, your breath ragged. The air in the bathroom felt stifling now, the walls pressing in on you, the space shrinking.
Your hand trembled as you reached for your phone, desperate to call someone, anyone.
But the screen flickered as soon as you unlocked it. The text on the screen was warped, unreadable. You stared at it for a moment, your stomach dropping. Something wasn’t right with your phone either.
A sharp, guttural whisper curled through the air, a voice so low you barely caught it.
The voice was so faint at first, you thought it was just a figment of your imagination, a trick your mind had played in the silence. But then it came again, clear and sharp, wrapping around your senses like a heavy fog.
“Come closer...”
It was soft, smooth, but there was an undeniable edge to it—laced with something... something tempting.
You froze, the words swirling in your mind. It wasn’t your own voice. It was deeper, resonating through you, the very air around you thick with a strange pull. Your chest tightened, and you felt something shift within you, an involuntary tug deep inside your stomach, urging you forward.
“Just one touch... just one kiss...”
The voice slithered, curling into your ear like a lover’s whisper, and something about it stirred the air around you. Your body was heating up, your skin prickling with a strange energy you couldn't explain.
You swallowed hard, your breath quickening as you stared at the mirror, trying to make sense of what was happening.
That’s when you felt it—an undeniable heat at your back.
It burned, searing through you like something alive, something that wanted you. Your breath hitched, and you spun around in a panic, expecting to see someone behind you, but the bathroom was empty, the space cold and silent.
But the heat didn’t fade.
It lingered, crawling across your skin like a heavy presence, sending shivers up your spine. There was no one there, but the sensation of being watched was there. Your body tensed, the warmth spreading through your entire body now, suffocating you, as if someone was right there, pressed against you, whispering into your very soul.
“It’s just us now…”
You glanced into the mirror once more, and there it was again—the figure. This time, it was clearer, its shadowy outline just behind you, impossibly close. The reflection wasn’t yours—it was someone else, standing so close that the hairs on your neck stood on end.
You gasped, heart pounding, but the figure didn’t move, didn’t make a sound. It simply stood.
The heat intensified, and the whisper grew louder, more insistent, as if it had taken root in your mind.
“Come to me... you know you want to...”
Your pulse raced. The pull in your chest was growing stronger now, as if your body was no longer your own, as if it was being drawn to something that wasn’t just a dream anymore.
The room began to spin, and you had to grip the edge of the sink to steady yourself, feeling dizzy as the desire to obey, to give in, washed over you. But as you fought it, something else caught your eye in the mirror—something that made your blood run cold.
A pair of glowing eyes pierced through the shadows, locked on you. And they were hungry.
You staggered back, heart slamming against your ribcage, and in the corner of your vision, you saw a fleeting glimpse of something—something moving, shifting in the dark.
No… You wanted to scream, to run, but your body wouldn’t move. Your limbs felt like lead, and the heat had become unbearable, pressing into you, dragging you toward it.
With a strangled breath, you finally tore your gaze away from the mirror, blinking furiously to rid yourself of the image. But the voice didn’t stop. It echoed inside your mind, growing louder.
“We’re bound now... there’s no going back…”
You tried to pull away, tried to break free of the suffocating heat and the unbearable pressure, but you couldn’t move. It was as if invisible hands were holding you in place. Your body, already trembling from the overwhelming sensations, was paralyzed as the touch slowly traveled up your arms.
It was light, ghostly, like fingertips grazing over your skin—soft, but burning with a heat that sent a shiver down your spine. You couldn’t stop it. You couldn’t. The sensation slid up to your shoulders, your neck, curling around you.
The moment it brushed your throat, the pressure seemed to increase, suffocating you. The touch lingered there, just under your jawline, fingers gentle yet firm. And then, before you could think, before you could react, you felt something else—lips.
A kiss.
But not from anyone you could see.
Your eyes snapped shut, your breath shallow as the kiss deepened, warm and intoxicating. It was urgent, burning, and wrong, but in a way that felt too good to resist. You tried to move, tried to pull back, but the invisible force held you in place, pushing you further into the kiss.
It was there, all around you—this overwhelming feeling of being wanted, of being pulled into something. Your heart pounded painfully in your chest, fear and desire mingling into a sickening cocktail. The sensation of lips on yours, it felt alive, like the very essence of the kiss was drawing something from you.
A low, satisfied murmur vibrated against your lips, and something deep within you shivered.
No… stop, please… You tried to scream in your mind, but your body didn’t obey. You couldn’t pull away from it.
You were being pulled into it, held captive by something invisible, something that wasn't human. But what? What was kissing you, claiming you like this?
The answer felt just out of reach, like a whisper that barely brushed against your mind, too faint to grasp, too slippery to hold onto. The sensation of lips—too warm, too alive—pressed against yours again, and your strength began to wane. It was as if every breath you took was being drained, pulled out from you with each passing second. You felt weak, too weak to move, too weak to even think.
Your body, once full of fear, had gone completely limp, like a ragdoll strung up and held in place by an invisible force. The pressure around your throat tightened, suffocating, but you could do nothing to fight it. You couldn’t scream. You couldn’t even blink—all your energy was consumed, sucked away by whatever was holding you captive, by the kiss that wasn't a kiss.
You could feel your mind slipping, like your thoughts were dissolving into the heat, into the darkness surrounding you. The invisible force—was it a presence? A shadow?—held you in place, guiding you, manipulating you, as if you were a puppet and it was pulling your strings.
But still, the sensation of being claimed lingered, you tried to focus, tried to break free, but it was no use. Every attempt only made you feel smaller, more powerless, like you were losing yourself bit by bit.
Was this what it wanted?
Your body didn’t feel like your own anymore. It felt... distant. Detached. Like you were a spectator in your own skin, watching as the thing—whatever it was—wove its tendrils around you.
Just as the world around you seemed to fade, a distant whisper echoed through the fog of your mind:
"Mine now."
The words wrapped around you like a heavy chain, pulling tighter and tighter until you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t even feel the floor beneath you anymore.
You were slipping away, your body fading into nothingness, held together only by the force that had claimed you.
"Mine forever."
--
When you woke up, it wasn’t like any other morning. You felt... tired. Groggy, and exhausted. As you stretched, you looked around the room, everything exactly as you left it, nothing unusual. It felt normal.
When you arrived at school, you couldn’t focus. The lessons droned on, but your mind kept wandering. You couldn't shake the feeling from last night. There was a gnawing curiosity deep inside you, a need to know what had happened, to make sense of it. You couldn’t just ignore it—your body wasn’t the same.
You pulled out your laptop in the middle of class, and you typed furiously. Your fingers flew over the keys, searching for any explanation that made sense, some kind of rational answer.
You found nothing but chaos.
The results were all over the place: demons, rituals, ghosts, whispers about curses and creatures from myths, things you thought only existed in horror stories. At first, you dismissed it. This can’t be real, you told yourself. But the deeper you went, the more it all seemed... possible.
And then you found it.
Incubus demons.
Your stomach twisted as you read more. The descriptions, the encounters—everything fit too perfectly. A demon, often seductive, one that could manipulate dreams, feed off your energy, entwine itself with you in the most intimate of ways. It would drain you slowly, filling you with warmth, with need, until it had you completely. Some even said an incubus could bind you to them—forever.
You felt a shiver creep down your spine. Was this what had happened to you? Could it be real? Could the thing you felt, the presence that had been with you, be an incubus?
The deeper you read, the more it made sense. The powerlessness, the way you felt unable to stop it, to resist. The hunger, the overwhelming desire. You couldn’t imagine it. You couldn't dream it.
You were still lost in thought as the bell rang, signaling the end of class. You gathered your things mechanically, your mind still reeling from the unsettling information you had uncovered. The words about incubus demons echoed in your head, each sentence making you feel more and more trapped.
As you packed your bag, your hand brushed against something unfamiliar. A cold chill ran through you, and your stomach dropped. You froze for a second, staring at your bag with a creeping sense of dread. Slowly, you opened it, and your eyes widened.
The book.
The crimson-red book. The one you had thrown out the window, the one you’d left behind—it was here, in your bag.
Your heart hammered in your chest, your fingers trembling as you touched the book. It was impossible. How could it be here? You distinctly remembered tossing it out, watching it fall to the ground outside your window. You’d even seen it land on the grass—it couldn’t have just come back.
A deep sense of dread filled your chest as your fingers slowly curled around the cover. You could feel the pull of it again, that same suffocating desire that called to you, whispered to you.
You quickly closed the bag, as if hiding it would make it go away.
How... how was this possible?
Your mind raced, trying to piece it together, but there was no logical explanation. The book had been thrown out. It shouldn’t be here.
And yet, it was.
You couldn’t shake the feeling that you weren’t in control anymore.
Something was toying with you.
You had just sat down in your next class, trying to focus, but your mind kept wandering. How was it possible? What was happening to you? You barely noticed when the seat beside you shifted, and someone sat down, pulling you out of your spiraling thoughts.
You turned your head instinctively, and your breath caught in your throat.
He was... stunning.
Tall, with sharp features and thick eyebrows that gave him an almost commanding presence. A few moles dotted his face, and his eyes were dark, almost mesmerizing, in a way which made your heart race in a way that felt unnatural.
But what really made your stomach flutter was the fact that you’d never seen him before.
Was he in this class?
You racked your brain, trying to recall if you had ever noticed him in the hallways or anywhere else on campus, but nothing came to mind.
He seemed to notice you staring at him, and a sly smile tugged at his lips. He leaned a bit closer, as if he didn’t mind the attention at all, his voice smooth and confident when he spoke.
"Hey, you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."
You blinked, caught off guard by the casualness of his tone. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine."
He chuckled softly, and you felt a strange sensation wash over you, like he was exactly where he was supposed to be. It was unsettling, but you couldn't quite pinpoint why.
"I'm Sunghoon. Park Sunghoon," he said, his smile widening slightly.
You blinked again, now fully aware of how close he was. "Oh, uh, nice to meet you."
You forced a smile, but your heart was beating too fast. There was something about him, something that felt off—but also familiar.
Why did it feel like he already knew you?
The class went by as usual, the minutes dragging on in a haze. Sunghoon didn't speak much after you introducing yourself, but every now and then, you'd catch him glancing at you, his dark eyes glimmering with something you couldn't quite place. You tried to ignore the unease creeping up your spine and focused on the lesson.
By the time class ended, you were relieved to be able to leave. You needed some time to clear your head.
--
When you arrived at the library, you clocked in and slid behind the counter, but quickly growing bored, you leaned forward and opened the computer, deciding to look up something to distract you. You typed in "demon books," half expecting it to pull up some weird conspiracy theory, but to your surprise, a result popped up. There was a book, right there in the archives—on demons.
Your curiosity flared. This was what you needed.
You grabbed a pen and jotted down the shelf number before heading to the stacks. When you arrived, your eyes searched the shelves, scanning for the number you’d written down. There it was—just out of reach. The book you wanted sat high on the shelf, taunting you. You stretched on your toes, reaching as far as you could, but it was no use. You could feel the frustration rising as you considered your options.
As you were about to give up and turn away, a hand shot up from behind you, effortlessly reaching the book and pulling it down.
You turned around, heart skipping a beat. There, standing just behind you, was Sunghoon. He held the book you had been struggling to get, his expression unreadable.
“Need this?” he asked, his voice casual, almost too smooth.
You blinked, your breath catching in your throat. Something about the way he said that sent a strange shiver down your spine. It was as if he knew exactly what you were searching for, as if he had been waiting for you to look it up.
“Thanks,” you said, taking the book from him, but your hand brushed against his for a moment longer than necessary. A jolt of electricity shot through you, and you quickly pulled your hand away, your face flushing.
“No problem,” he replied smoothly, his eyes twinkling. “Figured you needed a little help.”
You watched him disappear into the rows of books, and the unease from earlier returned, settling deep into your bones.
--
You don’t even realize what you've walked into, do you? Your deliciousness is like a siren's song, luring me in, and I am a lost soul, destined to follow. I've got you now, and I won't let you go. I'll devour every last piece of you, leaving no part untouched, for you're a feast that I'll savor forever.
Your beauty, it's like a spell, casting a shadow over my heart, and I want to take and take, until you give me everything, for I crave the taste of your soul, the essence of your being.
I think of your skin, smooth as silk, and how it feels under my touch. I imagine the taste of your lips, sweet like nectar, and how they'd satisfy my every craving. I envision your body, and how it yields to my every caress.
I'll trace the map of your body with my hands, my lips, and my heart, marking every inch as my own.
I'll feast on your lips, kiss by kiss, until my soul is satiated. I'll drink from the well of your desire, quench my thirst, and be nourished by your passion. I'll explore the depths of your pleasure, discover the peaks of your ecstasy.
And when I've had my fill, my sweet, I'll still want more. For you're an endless ocean, a bottomless pit of pleasure, and I can never quench my thirst. I'll always want to dive deeper, explore further, and discover more.
--
You stared at the book in your hands as you made your way back to the counter. And once you sat behind the counter, you placed the book down in front of you, the sound of the pages flipping echoing softly in the quiet library.
You opened the book, the musty scent of old pages filling your nose as you began flipping through it, scanning the words and images. Each page was filled with descriptions of various demons, their powers, their origins, and their terrifying abilities. But you kept your focus, searching for the section you had come here for.
Incubus demons.
When you finally reached the right section, your heart pounded in your chest. The words jumped off the page, unsettlingly familiar. It was like the book was confirming everything you had felt and the more you read, the clearer it became that this was no coincidence.
Incubi, it said, were demons who thrived on energy—specifically life force. They were known to seduce their victims, using dreams, lust, and an overwhelming need for intimacy to drain them. They were powerful, manipulating their prey until they were completely drained, their energy absorbed by the demon.
But what caught your eye was the last part.
"Once an incubus claims someone, it forms a bond—one that cannot be easily broken. The victim becomes a vessel, their soul linked to the demon’s for eternity."
You froze, a cold shiver crawling down your spine. Eternity. Was that what had happened to you? Had you unknowingly made a pact with something otherworldly?
You could feel your pulse quicken as your mind raced. Had you been claimed by the demon? Was it already too late to turn back?
You closed the book abruptly, the sound of it thudding against the counter loudly. You couldn’t breathe. Your stomach twisted, and for a brief moment, you thought you might collapse right there.
Just then, you heard a voice, soft but clear, cutting through the storm of thoughts in your head.
"Are you okay?"
You looked up, startled, and saw Sunghoon standing there, a stack of books in his hands. His eyes were searching your face, brows furrowed in concern.
"Uh... yeah, I’m fine," you stammered, trying to act normal. But you could feel the flush creeping up your neck, the words of the book still fresh in your mind. You quickly gathered your composure and grabbed the books from him, trying to distract yourself from the overwhelming feelings swirling inside you.
You ran the books through the system, scanning the barcodes one by one, all the while acutely aware of how close Sunghoon was standing.
As you glanced down at the books, you couldn't help but notice the titles—all of them were romance novels. It felt... strange. You glanced back at Sunghoon, trying to read his expression.
"Romance, huh?" you said, attempting to make small talk as you finished scanning the last one. "Didn’t peg you for someone into these kinds of books."
He chuckled softly, a low, smooth sound that made your heart skip again. "I’m not really. But, you know, sometimes it's good to pretend."
You blinked, unsure if you were reading too much into the comment. His smile didn’t help—he always had that air of mystery, like he was saying something and nothing at the same time.
"Thanks for helping with the book earlier," you added, trying to steer the conversation back to something neutral. "I appreciate it."
He shrugged, grabbing the books from on the counter. "No problem. Just looking out for you."
The way he said it sent a chill down your spine. It felt like more than just a casual statement. Like he knew something you didn’t. Something you didn’t want to know.
You tried to push the feeling down. You had to stay focused. "Anything else you need?" you asked, attempting to keep things professional.
Sunghoon just smiled again, that strange glimmer in his eyes never fading. "For now, no," he said, his tone teasing. "But I’ll be around."
--
When your shift finally ended, the night had already settled in, the streets now cast in shadows. You clutched your bag tightly as you walked, each step feeling heavier than the last.
Eventually, you found yourself at the bridge, standing on the edge, the water below reflecting the lights.
You opened your bag, pulling out the crimson red book, the one you had tried so desperately to get rid of. As you held it, you could feel something radiating from it—a pull, tempting you to keep it, to keep following.
You shook, unable to tear your gaze away from the book, as if it were alive, trying to draw you into its dark power. What had happened to you? What had you gotten yourself into?
A cold sweat broke out along your spine, and for a moment, you thought you might lose control. With trembling hands, you lifted the book to toss it into the water, ready to rid yourself of it once and for all.
But just as you were about to throw it off the bridge, you heard a voice behind you, low and rough.
"Hey," the voice called out, sending a shiver down your spine.
You froze, heart pounding in your chest. Slowly, you turned around.
Standing there was a man—a stranger. His features were sharp, his eyes narrowed in a way that made your stomach turn. There was something off about him, something unsettling in the way he watched you. His gaze was degrading, as if he had already sized you up.
"What's a pretty thing like you doing out here alone?" he asked, his voice slithering through the air.
You instinctively took a step back, clutching the book tighter in your hands, there was no mistaking the way his eyes lingered on you, his stare lingering a little too long.
His lips twisted into a grin, and it made your blood run cold. "You don't look like you're in a hurry to leave."
His tone, that smile—everything about him screamed danger, your heart thudded loudly in your chest as you fought the urge to run, but your feet felt rooted to the spot.
Your breath caught in your throat as the man took a step toward you, his hand reaching out with an unsettling determination. This was it. He was going to—
Suddenly, there was a sharp thud, and the man was thrown backward, crashing to the ground with a pained grunt.
You gasped, startled, and watched in disbelief as a familiar figure stepped besides you.
Sunghoon.
Without hesitation, he lunged at the man, throwing a fist that landed with a sickening crack against the stranger’s face. The man tried to scramble to his feet, but Sunghoon was relentless, his fists moving with precision, each punch landing harder than the last. You could hear the force of each strike, the sound of flesh hitting bone. The man barely had a chance to defend himself, crumpling beneath the force of Sunghoon’s blows.
You couldn’t tear your eyes away, transfixed by the brutal scene before you. There was something terrifyingly powerful about Sunghoon right now, his movements were swift and calculated, as if he were punishing the man for something more than just the assault on you.
Your hands shook as you held the book tighter to your chest, you didn’t know why, but it felt like it was alive, pulsing in your grip.
The book was vibrating, faintly at first, but then stronger, almost as though it was purring, responding to the violence — to you.
You ignored it, trying to focus on what was happening in front of you. Sunghoon wasn’t stopping, his anger mounting with each punch.
The man on the ground groaned, clearly dazed, unable to defend himself. Finally, Sunghoon stopped, standing over the man, his breath coming in heavy, measured gasps.
"You shouldn’t have done that," Sunghoon said, his voice low and dangerous, his gaze unwavering. He turned to look at you, eyes locking with yours.
You were still frozen, your heart pounding in your chest, and you couldn’t make sense of it all. The way Sunghoon was acting, the way he looked at you—it was like he wasn’t the same person you’d met in the library. This was someone else.
"Are you okay?" he asked, voice softer now, though there was still a sharpness to it.
You nodded, though your voice felt stuck in your throat. You couldn’t even find the words to thank him, or to ask why he’d come out of nowhere to help you. Why was he here?
Sunghoon glanced down at the man on the ground, his expression unreadable, before he turned to you again, taking a step closer.
"You’re safe now," he said, his voice more comforting this time, though the intensity never fully left his gaze.
Your hands trembled as you clutched the book tighter, trying to shake off the strange feeling it was giving you.
Sunghoon’s gaze lingered on you for a moment longer, his eyes scanning you before he helped you steady yourself.
“You’re okay,” he repeated, his tone lighter, he glanced at the book in your hands, and that smile of his grew, just slightly, as if pleased.
He led you away from the bridge, the cool night air now feeling heavy around you. His presence beside you was comforting, but at the same time, you couldn’t ignore the sense that he was guiding you in more ways than one.
You looked up at him, and he caught your gaze, his smile widening ever so slightly. "Seems like you’ve taken quite the interest in that," he said, his voice soft but with an edge you couldn’t quite place. "You’re holding it tightly."
Your fingers ached as you continued to clutch the book to your chest, your heart still hammering from the encounter. You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, too overwhelmed by everything that had happened.
"You shouldn’t have to worry anymore," he said, his voice lowering. “You’re safe now.”
Then why did something not feel right? Sunghoon was far too calm, too understanding. As if he already knew everything—everything that had been happening to you.
The way he looked at you, like he was watching, waiting for something.
And for the first time, you realized something that made your stomach twist in unease.
He wasn’t just helping you.
He was guiding you.
--
The moment you stepped through the door of your apartment, you immediately noticed it. The book was still pressed against your chest, and for the first time, it felt almost suffocating. You hadn’t even realized how tightly you had been holding onto it the entire time—your knuckles white. It was like it had become a part of you, and that realization twisted something deep within your gut.
You couldn't stand it anymore.
Without even thinking, you hurled the book against the wall, your heart racing as the impact caused it to thud loudly, the book sliding to the floor. The sound echoed in the quiet apartment, and you could feel your breath catch in your throat, as if your body had finally caught up to the chaos inside your mind.
For a moment, there was silence. The book lay on the floor, the cover staring up at you, as if mocking your decision. But you were too exhausted to care anymore. Too worn out by everything that had happened.
You stumbled fowards, your legs giving way, and before you knew it, you were sinking onto the couch. Your mind was foggy, too tired to think. Your body ached, your head pounded, but the exhaustion was overpowering. The last thing you saw before your eyes fluttered shut was the book, sitting on the floor.
And the only thing you could think of as you drifted off was how you felt that it wasn’t done with you yet.
--
You felt so... relaxed? It was like your body was weightless, wrapped in warmth and comfort. The air was thick, almost too hot, and the bed beneath you felt too soft, like sinking into a cloud. You opened your eyes slowly, blinking at the unfamiliar ceiling above you. A grand queen-sized bed stretched out beneath you, luxurious sheets tangled around your legs.
Your head was still foggy, like you were waking from a deep, dreamless sleep. But the discomfort of the heat around you was immediate, and you instinctively pushed the covers away, trying to breathe through the thick air.
That’s when you felt it.
A weight on your body, pressing down, holding you where you lay. Your breath hitched as the sensation of someone’s lips—warm, urgent—pressed against yours. The shock of it made your chest tighten, and you gasped, eyes wide as you tried to push the figure off of you, only to find you couldn’t move.
A voice, soft but laced with something darker, echoed in your mind, almost like a whisper, “Give in.”
Your body stiffened, the words familiar yet chilling. The lips on yours were insistent, coaxing you into submission. You couldn't understand—how did you get here? Why was everything so warm? And why did you feel this strange pull?
The kiss deepened as your breath quickened, and the moment your hands tried to reach above you, they tightened their grip. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t think.
You wanted to push away. You wanted to scream. But you couldn’t. You were trapped in this sensation, helpless.
You felt so good. So pleasant. Every part of you hummed with a warmth, an overwhelming comfort, like sinking into the softest dream. But with it came an exhaustion, a draining weariness you couldn't fight.
As the lips moved from your mouth down to your jaw, trailing soft, slow kisses, you felt your body go limp beneath them. You tried to stay alert, to keep your mind sharp, but the sensation was too much. The warmth, the pleasure, it was like it was melting you from the inside out. Your energy, your strength, seemed to vanish with every kiss, every press of lips against your sensitive skin. You couldn't fight it. It felt too good.
A small gasp escaped your lips as they moved lower, their touch leaving a trail of warmth on your neck, then your collarbone. The sensation was both soothing and dizzying, like you were drifting between wakefulness and sleep. You felt so tired, but the pleasure pulling you under kept you from fully giving in.
Your heartbeat thudded in your ears, quickening with each new kiss, each lingering touch. The sound of your breath was louder than the rest of the world, but even that was fading. You could barely hold onto your thoughts, the desire to move, to push, slipped further and further away.
And then you realized—there was nothing you could do. You didn’t want to.
You felt something deep inside you stir, a craving, a hunger that matched the pull of the lips against your skin. You were being drained, yes, but it also felt like it was what you needed.
You closed your eyes, surrendering to it. You let your body go, let the exhaustion wash over you, let yourself fall into the warmth of the kiss. You didn’t even care where it was leading anymore.
You felt your body give in completely as the lips on your neck paused, lingering there, and you could hear the soft hum of approval, a low sound of satisfaction. And just like that, it was too late to resist.
As you surrendered to the moment, the hands, ever so gently, pushed your shirt up, exposing more of your skin, as the heat in the room seemed to rise.
The lips, now free to explore, trailed kisses down your stomach, his tongue teasing the sensitive skin there. His hands slid down to your waist, he squeezed gently, pulling you closer, and you felt his body press against yours.
You didn’t want to fight it anymore. Your body was giving in, responding to him, reacting in ways you couldn't fully comprehend. It was as though you were caught in a web, leaving you breathless and wanting more.
His lips moved from your neck, tracing the sensitive line of your jaw before they found your lips again, kissing you. The kiss was hungry now, deeper. You felt his hands tighten around you, as though he couldn’t get close enough, as though you were the only thing that mattered in that moment.
And somehow, it felt... right.
You felt so hazy, your mind clouded by a warm, soothing fog that made it impossible to think clearly. Everything was blurred, all thoughts slipping through your fingers like sand. The weight of your body felt distant, like you were floating. You couldn’t move your limbs, couldn’t even feel them anymore.
The only thing you could focus on was the feeling of the lips that pressed gently against yours, warm and insistent. Every time they left, it felt like you were waiting, craving the return of that contact. And when they did, you kissed them back instinctively, your lips parting slightly to welcome them.
"Let go," it murmured softly, the sound of it like silk against your mind. "Enjoy this. Let the pleasure take over. You deserve it."
You shivered, feeling the warmth of the words settle deep inside you, pushing aside any lingering doubts, any hesitation. The voice continued, coaxing you, convincing you that this feeling, this moment, was all that mattered. That you didn’t need to resist, that you could simply surrender and feel everything without fear.
There was no fight left in you, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you felt completely at peace. You didn’t have to think, you didn’t have to worry— just the feeling of being taken care of, loved, and wanted.
You closed your eyes, lost in the comfort, the warmth, and the voice that guided you deeper into the haze.
--
You woke up suddenly, your mind heavy, still clouded in a haze, and found yourself lying on the couch. You blinked, trying to shake off the fog, and as you looked around, everything seemed perfectly normal.
One thing wasn't normal, though. It was the warmth, the sticky, almost suffocating heat clinging to your skin, like honey trapping you in its sweetness. The sensation was odd, and it was paired with an exhaustion that weighed you down, a tiredness so deep you could barely keep your eyes open.
You managed to sit up and push yourself to your feet, dragging yourself to the bathroom, needing to see your reflection, needing to understand what was happening. The mirror greeted you with an unexpected shock.
Your neck and collarbone were covered in marks—deep, almost bruised-looking impressions, some faint, others dark, like someone had pressed their lips into your skin too hard, leaving their mark. You barely recognized the face staring back at you. Your cheeks were flushed, the kind of flush you’d never get from just a long day, and your eyes looked distant.
You kept staring at your reflection, eyes wide in disbelief, and slowly pulled your shirt off, but what greeted you beneath your clothes made your breath catch in your throat.
Handprints. Dark, unmistakable imprints stretched across your waist, your hips, and even down to your thighs. It was like someone had gripped you there with force, leaving their mark on your skin, as if they couldn’t resist claiming every part of you.
You stood there, frozen, trying to make sense of what you were seeing. The more you looked, the more it seemed to confirm your theory.
An incubus had done this.
But the memories were murky, like a dream fading in the light of day. You couldn't remember the specifics, but the evidence was undeniable.
You were cursed.
The thought sent a shiver through your body. There was no other explanation. It was all pointing to something beyond your control, something that wanted you, that had claimed you.
But what did it want from you? Why you?
The mirror reflected your confusion, your unease, and your disbelief. Your hand instinctively reached up to touch the marks, your fingers brushing lightly over your skin. Each touch sent a wave of heat through you, a reminder that something was still there, still affecting you, even when you had no idea what was really going on.
--
Days passed in a strange blur after that. Each time you tried to focus, tried to pull yourself together, the exhaustion dragged you down further. You couldn’t remember when it had started, when your body began to feel like it was no longer your own, but it was now a part of your reality. Every night, you’d find yourself drifting off to sleep, only to wake up once again in that grand bed, under the same warmth, your body burning.
The familiar sensation of lips on yours, the heat of his hands—each kiss drained you, leaving you weak and confused. It felt as though the very life force was being sucked out of you, but you were too tired to resist. Too tired to care. The next morning, you would wake up again, just as exhausted, with the marks on your skin deepening, the imprint of his touch still there. You tried to push through the haze, but it felt like you were walking through quicksand.
And then there was Sunghoon.
He was there for you in ways you couldn’t explain. It started small—offering to walk you to class, making sure you ate something, checking in on you when you seemed too tired to function. You didn’t fight it. You were too exhausted to.
You would often find yourself slumped at the counter, fighting to keep your eyes open, and there he was, showing up with something to drink or a comforting word, offering you a brief respite from the overwhelming fatigue that seemed to cling to your every movement. You didn’t realize at first that you were relying on him, leaning on him without question.
But Sunghoon didn’t mind. In fact, he thrived in this new dynamic, in your dependence on him. He reveled in the way you’d look to him for comfort, for answers, for protection. You didn’t know how much it fed into his desires, how much he enjoyed being the one to offer you care, to have you rely on him completely.
And you? You were too tired to notice. Too lost in the fog of exhaustion, the haze of what was happening to you.
But.. the more time you spent with Sunghoon, the more you began to notice the oddities that you’d once brushed off. He was always there, always watching, always making sure you were okay. But something about him felt... off. It wasn’t just his constant attention—it was the way he seemed to know exactly what you needed, before you even asked for it. It was the way his gaze lingered on you just a little too long, his smile a little too knowing, like he was seeing something in you that no one else did.
Then, there was the issue with his past. Sunghoon never spoke about it. When you asked about his family or where he grew up, his answers were vague, brushing off the topic with a quick change of subject. No traces of a life outside of the moments he spent with you.
It didn’t make sense. You had seen him around campus, so you knew he wasn’t a complete ghost. But there were no photos, no friends tagging him on social media, no history to trace. He was just... there. As if he had stepped out of nowhere and appeared in your life, and now he was all you could focus on.
Something about him felt wrong, and the pieces were starting to fall into place. But you couldn’t stop yourself from leaning on him, allowing him to take care of you. You didn’t know what to think anymore, especially since you were so tired, so lost in the fog of exhaustion that you couldn’t tell if your thoughts were your own or if they were being influenced by something else.
So, you decided to test your theory—to see what would happen if you suddenly started ignoring him. It wasn’t easy. Sunghoon always seemed to find a way to be around you, whether it was sitting next to you in class or showing up at the library while you worked. But you were determined. You stopped texting him back, avoided his gaze, and made excuses to leave whenever he tried to engage you in conversation.
At first, he didn’t seem bothered by it. He would simply smile when you dodged him, as if he already knew why you were doing it. That unnerved you more than anything else. It was like he could see right through you, like he knew your thoughts before you did.
But as the days went on, his demeanor started to shift. His smiles became tighter, his gaze colder, and the once-comforting presence he exuded started to feel suffocating. He wasn’t following you outright, but every time you turned a corner, you’d catch him in your peripheral vision—leaning against a wall, walking just a few steps behind you, always near enough to remind you that he was there.
One night, after a particularly long shift at the library, you came home and collapsed onto your couch, exhaustion washing over you. The moment you closed your eyes, you found yourself back in that bed again.
But this time, there was a whisper. A deep, seductive voice you hadn’t heard before.
"You can’t ignore me forever."
Your eyes snapped open, your heart pounding. You were back on your couch, drenched in sweat, and your hands were trembling. You instinctively gripped the edge of the couch as you tried to ground yourself, but the tremor in your fingers betrayed how shaken you really were. The room was quiet—too quiet. It felt as though something was watching you, just out of sight.
Your gaze darted toward the windows, scanning for any sign of movement, but the curtains were still drawn shut. Slowly, you reached for your phone on the coffee table, wanting the comfort of a light, a distraction—anything. As the screen lit up, you noticed the time. 3:03 a.m.
And then you saw it.
A single notification. It wasn’t from anyone in your contacts, just an unknown number. You hesitated before opening it, dread settling in your stomach like a lead weight. The message read:
"Stop running."
You dropped the phone as though it had burned you, the clatter breaking the suffocating silence. Your breaths came shallow and quick as you stared at the device, afraid it would light up again.
No. This had to stop.
You pushed yourself off the couch and stumbled to the bathroom, your legs weak beneath you. Splashing cold water on your face, you tried to steady your breathing.
You gripped the edge of the sink, your knuckles turning white as you leaned forward, staring at your pale reflection in the mirror. Your breaths came shallow and uneven as you tried to process everything.
It didn’t make sense—none of it did. But your thoughts kept circling back to Sunghoon. His perfect timing, his uncanny presence, the way he seemed to know more than he let on.
Your throat felt dry as you swallowed hard, forcing yourself to say it.
“Sunghoon?”
The sound of his name echoed faintly in the small bathroom. You waited, holding your breath, your heart pounding louder and louder in your chest. Nothing happened.
For a moment, you felt ridiculous, like you were spiraling into paranoia. You let out a shaky exhale and closed your eyes, trying to collect yourself. But then, just as you started to relax, you felt it.
A heat began to radiate behind you, warm and heavy, pressing against your back like a presence. The air shifted, and before you could react, a soft whisper brushed against your ear.
“Did you miss me?”
Your eyes snapped open, wide with terror, as you froze in place. The mirror reflected nothing behind you, but the heat remained, and the voice lingered, teasingly low and intimate.
“Y-you’re not real,” you stammered, gripping the sink tighter, refusing to turn around.
The voice chuckled, soft and amused. “Oh, but I am. You called me, didn’t you? Thinking of me? Dreaming of me?”
A shiver ran down your spine as the warmth seemed to creep closer, pressing against you like an invisible embrace. You gasped, your knees threatening to buckle under the weight of whatever was behind you.
“I-I wasn’t—”
“Liar,” the voice interrupted, a trace of playfulness in its tone. “You’ve been looking for answers, haven’t you?”
You felt something brush against your shoulder, light as a feather but enough to make your skin tingle. Your breathing quickened as the sensation spread, leaving you dizzy and disoriented.
“Stop,” you whispered, your voice shaking.
But the voice only hummed in response, low and pleased. “You can’t run from me. You’ve known that all along.”
“I never wanted this!” you shouted, your voice trembling but firm, defiance breaking through your fear. “I didn’t ask for any of this!”
The air around you grew colder, and suddenly a hand—a firm, invisible grip—wrapped around your throat. You gasped, your hands flying up instinctively to claw at nothing.
“Oh, but you did,” the voice purred, smooth and dark, vibrating through the room. The grip on your throat tightened just enough to make your pulse race, but not enough to harm you. It was a warning.
“You put this on yourself the moment you read the words in that book,” the voice hissed, hot breath fanning over your ear. “Qui me legit, fiat noster ligamen aeternum. Do you even know what that means?”
You shook your head frantically, tears pricking at your eyes as you struggled against the phantom hand holding you in place. The voice chuckled, low and condescending.
“It means, ‘Who reads me, let our bond be eternal.’ You invited me in.”
Your breath hitched as the words hit you like a punch to the gut. The book. The book in the basement. The words you read aloud.
“That’s not possible,” you whispered, your voice cracking. “It’s just a stupid book. It—it can’t be real!”
The laughter that followed was sharp, almost mocking. “Oh, it’s very real. And now, so am I.”
In the mirror, the reflection began to change. The shadow behind you shifted, growing more defined, more solid. Your eyes widened in horror as the silhouette morphed, taking shape, and then—
There he was.
Sunghoon.
Your heart stopped. You couldn’t believe it, but there was no mistaking him. The sharp jawline, the intense gaze, the faint smirk curling his lips. It was him.
Sunghoon stood behind you, his hand still firmly around your throat, his touch searing and impossible to ignore. His other hand came to rest lightly on your waist, and you shivered under the weight.
“Surprise,” he murmured, his voice dripping with amusement as his eyes locked with yours in the mirror.
“No,” you whispered, shaking your head, panic rising in your chest. “This— you’re not—”
“Not what?” Sunghoon interrupted, tilting his head as he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “Not human? Not the man who’s been taking care of you? Or not the one who’s been in your dreams, night after night?”
You couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move. The pieces were falling into place, but they painted a picture you didn’t want to see.
“You were so lonely,” Sunghoon continued, his voice softer now, almost tender. “So desperate for someone to understand you. And I came to you, didn’t I? Gave you exactly what you needed.”
His hand on your waist tightened slightly, his grip on your throat loosening just enough for you to take a shaky breath.
“But you’re scared now. Why?” he asked, his tone almost teasing, as if he already knew the answer. “You’ve enjoyed this, haven’t you? The attention, the way I’ve made you feel.”
“No,” you choked out, your voice barely above a whisper. “You tricked me. This isn’t what I wanted.”
Sunghoon’s smirk widened, his reflection in the mirror impossibly calm, his eyes glinting with something dark and dangerous.
“You can lie to yourself all you want,” he said, his tone almost pitying. “But you can’t lie to me.”
“We’re bound now, you and I,” he whispered, his voice soft but laced with finality. “You can’t run from me. You can’t hide. And deep down, you don’t want to.”
You stared at him in the mirror, your chest heaving, your mind screaming for you to fight back, to do something, anything. But your body betrayed you, frozen in place as Sunghoon’s reflection smiled, dark and triumphant.
His grip tightened around your arms as he suddenly spun you around effortlessly, your back slamming against the cold countertop. A sharp gasp escaped your lips as the impact sent a jolt through your body, and you found yourself face to face with him.
Only... it wasn’t entirely him.
Your breath hitched, eyes widening as you took in his appearance. Sunghoon was still the same—his sharp features, his impossibly handsome face—but now, his true form was on full display.
Two curved, jet-black horns protruded from his head, his ears were pointed, inhumanly sharp, twitching slightly as though attuned to every sound you made. A pair of massive, leathery wings stretched out behind him. His skin held a faint reddish tint now, and his eyes...
They weren’t what you’d grown accustomed to.
They were blood-red, burning with an intensity that made your knees weak.
As your gaze traveled lower, you caught sight of a sleek black tail swishing behind him, the pointed tip moving back and forth like a serpent poised to strike.
“Like what you see?” Sunghoon asked, his voice low and smooth, laced with amusement.
You couldn’t answer. Your lips parted, but no sound came out as you stared up at him, utterly frozen. He leaned in closer, the heat radiating from him making it even harder to think, to breathe.
“You should’ve known,” he murmured, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. “You should’ve felt it. I’ve been hiding in plain sight this whole time, waiting for you to figure it out.”
“Sunghoon...” you finally managed to whisper, your voice trembling as you tried to push him away, but your arms felt like they were moving through water—slow, weak, powerless.
He chuckled, a deep, resonant sound that sent heat flooding through your chest. “Still clinging to the illusion, huh? Poor thing.”
His hand came up to cup your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek with an almost tender touch.
“This is the real me,” he said softly, his voice dripping with dangerous charm. “And now that you’ve seen it, there’s no going back.” His wings shifted slightly behind him, the sound making your stomach twist in unease. His tail flicked once, curling against your leg in a way that made your skin crawl—and, to your shame, sent a strange warmth pooling in your chest.
“You’re lying,” you said weakly, your voice barely audible. “This isn’t happening...”
Sunghoon tilted his head, his expression softening just enough to make it even more unsettling. “Lying?” he repeated, his voice almost offended. “Sweet thing, everything I’ve done has been the truth. You just didn’t want to see it.”
He leaned in, his lips hovering just above yours, his red eyes locking onto yours with a hypnotic intensity. “But now you can’t ignore it, can you? You can’t ignore me.”
You gasped, your body trembling as his tail coiled tighter around your leg, holding you in place. “You belong to me now,” Sunghoon whispered, his voice final. “And nothing will change that.”
You clenched your eyes shut, your entire body trembling as you willed it all to disappear. You thought maybe—just maybe—if you denied it long enough, it would go away. That he would go away.
But it didn’t work.
Instead, you heard his low, amused chuckle. The sound was rich and dark, crawling into your ears and embedding itself into your mind.
“You can’t escape me,” he murmured. And before you could protest, his lips crashed against yours, stealing your breath and overwhelming your senses.
The kiss was searing, a fire that burned its way through your body and left you paralyzed. It wasn’t soft or careful—it was commanding, leaving no room for resistance.
Sunghoon...
Sunghoon was an incubus.
Your mind screamed at you to push him away, to fight, but your body wouldn’t listen. The warmth from his lips spread through you like molten lava, making you weak, making you feel... good. Too good.
You tried to turn your head, to break the connection, but his hand gripped your jaw firmly, holding you in place as he deepened the kiss. His lips moved against yours with a skill that made your knees feel like jelly, and the heat radiating off him felt almost suffocating.
When he finally pulled back, your head spun, your breaths shallow and uneven. His glowing red eyes locked onto yours, and you could see the satisfaction etched across his face.
“See?” he purred, his voice dripping with confidence. “You’re not resisting me.”
You shook your head weakly, trying to deny it. “You’re not... I won’t...” you stammered, but even as the words left your lips, they sounded hollow.
Sunghoon leaned down again, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, “You already gave yourself to me the moment you opened that book.”
Tears pricked the corners of your eyes as you struggled to comprehend his words. You’d read the words without understanding what they meant, unknowingly binding yourself to him.
“You belong to me now,” he said, his voice soft but firm, his hand trailing down to rest on your waist. “No running. No escaping.”
His tail flicked lazily at his side, as if he were toying with you, enjoying your fear and confusion.
“I’ll take care of you,” Sunghoon continued, his tone shifting to something almost... tender. “You won’t need anyone else. You won’t want anyone else.”
You clenched your fists, trying to fight against the pull he had on you, the way his words seemed to seep into your mind like poison.
“What do you want from me?” you finally managed to ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
“I already have what I want,” he said simply, his hand tilting your chin up so you couldn’t look away. “You.”
His hand slid up to your throat again, his grip firm but not enough to hurt—just enough to remind you who was in control. You gasped, your heart pounding in your chest as he leaned in, and before you could think or protest, his lips captured yours again.
This time, the kiss was more intense. It was intoxicating, a dizzying, heady sensation that left you feeling drunk and high at the same time, though there wasn’t a hint of nausea.
Instead, you felt consumed, like your body and mind were being submerged in a warm ocean. His lips moved against yours with a hunger that left you breathless.
Your hands gripped the edge of the bathroom counter behind you, trying to ground yourself, but the heat only grew. It curled in your stomach, spread up your spine, and flooded every corner of your being.
Sunghoon’s lips left yours only briefly, his breath hot against your skin as he kissed down your jaw, tracing a path to the sensitive spot just beneath your ear. “You feel it, don’t you?” he murmured, his voice low and teasing.
You couldn’t respond, your head spinning, your body trembling. Every word he spoke seemed to sink into your skin, fusing with your very being.
He chuckled softly, his lips brushing over your ear. “No one else can make you feel like this. No one else can take care of you like I can.”
When he finally pulled back, his red eyes burned into yours, glowing with satisfaction.
“Say it,” he said softly, his thumb brushing over your pulse. “Say you’re mine.”
You hesitated, your lips parting, but no words came out. Your mind was a swirling mess of emotions, torn between the primal pull he had over you and the small flicker of defiance still burning in your chest.
Sunghoon leaned closer, his smirk returning as he tilted your chin up slightly. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “You’ll say it soon enough.”
With that, he released you, stepping back just enough to let you breathe, though the heat still clung to your skin like a second layer. Your knees felt weak, your body trembling, and you gripped the counter to keep from collapsing.
“Rest for now,” he said, his tone almost affectionate. “We’ll see each other again soon.”
And with a flick of his tail and a low hum of satisfaction, he vanished, leaving you alone in the dimly lit bathroom, your body still warm and your mind reeling from what had just happened.
--
It didn’t take long for you to realize that Sunghoon’s persistence wasn’t just some fleeting infatuation—it was something far deeper. When an incubus claimed a human, it seemed, their desire turned into a relentless obsession. Sunghoon took every opportunity to have you, to pull you into the haze of his presence, leaving you breathless and weak in his wake.
In the library, you were shelving books in the far corner, but then, you felt it—the familiar warmth crawling up your spine. Before you could turn, his hands were on your waist, spinning you around and pressing you against the shelf.
“Sunghoon—” you started, but your words were cut off as his lips crashed against yours, desperate and hungry.
The books nearly toppled from the shelf as his body pinned you in place. His hands slid down to your thighs, gripping them tightly before lifting you up effortlessly, your back pressed to the shelf. His kisses left you dizzy, your hands clinging to his shoulders for balance as his lips trailed down your jaw, his voice low murmurs.
When he finally pulled back, you were breathless, your body trembling. He smiled, his red eyes glowing faintly. “Couldn’t help myself,” he whispered, his voice thick with desire.
In the kitchen, you thought you’d have a moment of peace as you cooked dinner, but of course, he appeared again.
You didn’t even hear him approach before his hands were on your waist, lifting you effortlessly onto the counter.
“Sunghoon!” you protested, but your voice wavered as his lips found yours, silencing any resistance.
His hands gripped your thighs, spreading them slightly as he stood between them, his kisses consuming. The heat of the stove was nothing compared to the fire he ignited in you with every touch.
“You taste better than anything you’re cooking,” he teased against your lips, as you shivered under his touch.
Even in class, he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off you. At first, it was subtle—a hand resting on your thigh under the desk. But his touch was anything but innocent. His fingers pressed into your skin, his grip firm enough to leave an imprint through the fabric of your jeans.
One day, you made the mistake of wearing a skirt to class. His reaction was immediate.
His eyes darkened the moment he saw you, his gaze lingering on your legs with a hunger. The skirt seemed to drive him wild, and he didn’t bother to hide the want in his eyes as he took the seat beside you.
During the lecture, his hand found its way to your thigh again, his fingers tracing slow, deliberate circles on your bare skin. Every touch sent shivers up your spine, your pulse quickening as his grip tightened slightly, his thumb brushing dangerously close to the hem of your skirt.
“You wore this for me, didn’t you?” he whispered, his voice low and teasing.
You didn’t answer, your face burning as you tried to focus on the professor’s voice. But Sunghoon wasn’t letting you off so easily. His hand slid higher, just enough to make you squirm in your seat.
By the end of class, you were a mess, your legs trembling as you tried to stand. Sunghoon, of course, looked perfectly composed.
But one event made you realize just how far Sunghoon's obsession had gone happened unexpectedly.
You had just finished getting ready, dressed to go out to the club, your outfit on point, and your makeup perfectly done. You were about to put on some music for the drive when suddenly, you heard a soft hum from behind you.
The sound was so familiar, so calming that you couldn’t help but pause. The familiar haze crept in, clouding your thoughts. Before you could even process what was happening, you felt a shift in your surroundings. The next thing you knew, you were no longer sitting in the front seat of your car but instead found yourself in the backseat, sitting on Sunghoon's lap.
“You going somewhere?” he asked, his voice smooth, leaning back, his eyes filled with contentment. He seemed to be enjoying the view of you on his lap, your body pressed against his, all dressed up.
You were about to move off, muttering to yourself about how utterly stupid this situation was.
However, before you could push him away, Sunghoon's hands went around your hips. He pulled you closer, his body pressing into yours, and then, with a sudden thrust, he lifted you off his lap.
The movement was unexpected, and it caught you off guard. You let out a surprised squeal as you found yourself being moved to lay down on the backseat. Sunghoon hovered over you, his body pressing down on yours, his eyes filled with a fiery passion.
You were on the brink of speaking, your mind filled with thoughts you wanted to express, when suddenly, Sunghoon's lips crashed down on yours, silencing your words in an instant.
His lips, soft yet demanding, devoured yours, a perfect blend of tenderness and dominance. Sunghoon groaned into the kiss, a deep, raw sound that reverberated through your core. His hands found their way to your waist, his fingers digging into your skin. And as his kiss deepened, you felt him wrap your legs around his hips. You could feel the heat of his body, the solidness of his muscles, and the intensity.
You felt a sudden urge to pull away, to regain some sense of control and composure. With a gentle push, you tried to create some distance between you and Sunghoon. But Sunghoon, ever attuned to your every move, wasn’t about to let you escape so easily. As you tried to shift, reaching for the car door, his hands swiftly grabbed your waist, his strong arms pulling you closer. His chest pressed against your back, and you turned your head, your breath quickening as Sunghoon leaned over, his face now inches from yours.
His voice, soft and teasing, broke through your thoughts. “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, his tone low, almost playful.
You couldn’t find the words to answer, but you could feel the heat rising between you.
Sunghoon, sensing your hesitation, nuzzled his face against your neck, his breath warm against your skin. The soft touch of his lips traced a path along your neck, sending a jolt of warmth through you. You shivered at the sensation, unable to stop the flutter in your chest.
"Sunghoon..." you breathed, trying to push him away again, but his hands tightened around your waist. He didn’t let you move, holding you there.
He chuckled softly, his lips brushing against your skin as he spoke. “You want me to slow down?” he teased, his voice amused.
You swallowed hard, feeling the heat between you both. The car, once cool, now felt stifling, the air thick. You glanced over at the windows, noticing that the glass had fogged up, the condensation creeping in.
A soft sigh escaped your lips as you tried to focus, but it was hard with him so near, his breath warm against your neck. You could feel him pressed against your back, his hands still holding you close.
“Sunghoon,” you whispered again, your voice barely a breath, caught between uncertainty and desire. You shifted slightly, trying to pull away, but he gently tugged you back, his lips hovering just above your ear.
“Why resist?” His voice was soft, almost a whisper, but there was an edge to it, a quiet demand. His lips brushed against your earlobe, sending another shiver down your spine. “We both know you don’t want to.”
The fog on the windows seemed to grow thicker, the air growing warmer with every passing second, as if the space between you was becoming smaller.
You didn’t answer him right away, just closing your eyes for a brief moment, trying to clear your mind.
But Sunghoon's voice broke the silence as he gazed at you. "You look perfect," he said, his eyes roving over your body, taking in every detail. "So delectable, it's as if you're offering yourself on a silver platter."
His hands, which had been resting on your waist, slowly slid downwards, tracing the curves of your hips with a gentle touch.
"I want to ruin your makeup," he said, his voice low. "I want to mark you as mine, to leave my touch on you."
His hands, which had been gently caressing your body, suddenly tightened around your hips. With a swift movement, he flipped you over, and you found yourself lying on your back, staring up at him with surprise.
"I want to look at you," he said, his voice low and intense. "I want to see your beautiful face, your eyes, your lips, as I kiss you."
His lips, soft yet demanding, pressed against yours, a perfect show of passion. His hands roamed freely, tracing the curves of your body. He cupped your face, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks, a gentle caress that sent a rush of pleasure through your body.
Guess this is what happens when you get claimed by an incubus in love.
a/n: well.. i have no other words. this had been sitting in my drafts for awhile so, yeah :)
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nhmkhnh · 1 month ago
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heartbeats & half-court shots.
pairings: jock!ellie x brainiac!fem!reader
preface: when a jock can’t help but fall for the quiet genius across the campus, every game turns into a play for love.
author's note: alright I'm back, with another typical dynamics haha! enjoy!
wrn: lowercase, messy.
navigation.
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ellie williams wasn’t a literature major, but she swore the girl sitting two rows in front of her in psych 101 had rewritten the entire definition of beauty. and intelligence. and everything that made ellie forget how to talk like a functioning human being.
she wasn’t even supposed to be in this class. joel had told her to pick up something “easy” to pad her gpa, but she had taken one look at the course registration and slammed “psych 101” the second she saw your name on the roster.
you weren’t flashy. you didn’t talk much unless it was to ask questions that had the professor raising his eyebrows like he wanted to write down your words. but you had that quiet charm—the kind that drew eyes without asking for them. and ellie? ellie had been down so bad since week one.
so today, when you walked past her table in the campus café with an armful of books and your laptop tucked under one arm, ellie stared just a little too long. which meant she saw it—your favorite pen—slip off the top of your stack and clatter onto the floor behind you.
ellie was on it like a hawk.
she snatched it up, barely resisting the urge to sniff it like a weirdo, and jumped up from her chair like she’d been called to serve.
“hey—uh, you dropped this!” she called, jogging after you.
you turned, and she almost tripped. god, that soft smile you gave her should be illegal.
“oh,” you said, brushing hair from your face, “thanks. i thought i heard something fall.”
ellie handed it to you. but she didn’t stop there.
“you dropped this… queen,” she added, a sly grin crawling onto her face.
your brows lifted, but instead of laughing at her, you actually smiled wider.
“smooth,” you said, gaze flicking down to the pen, then back to her. “did you come up with that on the spot?”
“born ready,” ellie lied.
you chuckled. “i’m impressed.”
you said it so casually, but ellie nearly exploded. blood rushed to her ears. she shoved her hands in her hoodie and nodded like she wasn’t dying inside.
“see you in psych,” you added, and turned away.
she stood there for a solid ten seconds after you left, staring at the pen-shaped gap in the air where you used to be. then she whispered to herself:
“…holy shit, it’s working.”
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ellie was not failing psych 101. but she was not acing it either. not like you.
it wasn’t that she didn’t study. she did. in the locker room after practice. at the dining hall with one airpod in. she even tried those dumb tiktoks that played frequencies while you read. none of it stuck. her notes were 60% doodles of you and 40% semi-legible chicken scratch.
so when the professor casually announced a pop quiz next week and you groaned under your breath—ellie saw her moment. god had opened a door, and ellie was sprinting through it.
you were sitting on the quad, earbuds in, textbook open, a coffee cup tucked beside your knee like it was a limb. the sun hit your face like some kinda romcom filter. ellie nearly choked on her protein bar when she spotted you. but she wiped her hands on her sweatpants and approached like it was nothing.
“hey, einstein,” she greeted, shading her eyes and squinting at you. “studying for the quiz?”
you pulled out one earbud. “unfortunately.”
“cool, cool. you wanna quiz me?”
you blinked. “huh?”
ellie cleared her throat, then flopped onto the grass beside you, cross-legged like she belonged there. like this wasn’t the most nerve-wracking thing she’d done all month.
“you know,” she said, nudging her knee into yours. “i figured…you’re smart, i’m hot—we make a good team.”
you looked at her, head tilted slightly. “you’re hot?”
ellie grinned. “so people tell me.”
you laughed, soft and warm, and ellie felt it hit her like a wave to the ribs.
“…fine,” you said, flipping a page and scooting just a little closer. “what’s the difference between operant and classical conditioning?”
ellie stared at you blankly for a beat.
“okay, maybe we need to start… a little further back.”
you burst out laughing, the kind of full-body laugh that made people turn their heads, and ellie felt like she’d scored the game-winning goal.
“oh my god,” you wheezed. “you’re hopeless.”
“nah,” ellie said, cocky again. “just giving you an excuse to keep talking to me.”
you gave her a look. “you don’t need an excuse, ellie.”
she swore her heart dropped right out of her chest.
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it started with a hoodie. not ellie’s. yours.
she’d been sitting at her usual bench after gym—drenched in sweat, headphones around her neck, sipping some godawful green smoothie—when she saw you across the courtyard, shivering under a tree. wind tugged at your sleeves, and you kept rubbing your arms like you’d forgotten how not to be cold.
ellie’s brain? gone. her legs? moving before she could stop them.
she bee-lined it to her gym bag, ripped out a hoodie that definitely still smelled like her deodorant and training sessions, and speed-walked to you like she was delivering a care package to the pope.
“hey,” she said casually (read: breathlessly), holding out the hoodie. “you look like a sad, cold baby bird.”
you blinked. “what?”
“i said—uh—cold,” she repeated, cheeks pink now. “here. take this.”
you stared at the hoodie, then at her. “won’t you be cold?”
ellie shrugged. “i’m built different.”
that got a smile out of you. you took the hoodie—hesitated—and then slowly tugged it over your head.
ellie blacked out a little.
it swallowed you. her name on the front. her scent everywhere. you were literally drowning in her, and somehow you still looked ethereal.
“how do i look?” you teased, turning your head to the side.
ellie pretended not to choke. “it’s giving… girlfriend behavior.”
you raised a brow. “oh yeah?”
“uh-huh,” ellie said, smirking now to cover her panic. “like… you borrow all my clothes, steal my fries, beg me to carry your bag—classic girlfriend shit.”
you tilted your head. “you want me to be your girlfriend, ellie?”
silence. ellie.exe stopped working.
you were grinning, teasing, but her whole body short-circuited like you’d just confessed to marrying her tomorrow.
“only if you’re cool with dating a sweaty gym rat,” she finally managed, voice cracking at the end.
you laughed, stepping closer until you were eye-level.
“i’ll think about it,” you whispered, before walking past her, casually, like you didn’t just end her entire career.
ellie didn’t move for five minutes.
she told jesse she saw god that day.
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it started off innocent. ellie just needed help. you were a genius. easy math.
except it wasn’t math. it was psychology. and ellie didn’t want help—she wanted you. but asking you out felt like skydiving without a parachute, so she did what any emotionally repressed jock would do.
she called it a “study session.”
“you free tonight?” she asked casually after class, nudging your arm with her elbow.
you glanced over, already suspicious. “for what?”
ellie cleared her throat. “y’know. studying. the quiz is coming up. i could use a little… tutoring.”
you snorted. “you want me to tutor you?”
“hey, i’m coachable.”
you hummed, pretending to think it over. “fine. my place?”
ellie almost choked. “y–yeah. sure. cool. no big deal.”
it was a very big deal.
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she showed up to your apartment looking like she’d rehearsed it five times. hair down. flannel open just enough to show a sliver of collarbone. two coffees in hand. (one was yours. she spent ten minutes texting dina about your starbucks order to get it right.)
“thanks,” you said, taking the drink. “you’re sweet.”
“only for you,” ellie replied before her brain could catch up.
your eyes lingered on her a second too long.
you sat cross-legged on your bed with your laptop open. ellie sat beside you, very aware of how close her thigh was to yours. she tried to focus. she really did.
but you smelled like coconut shampoo and lavender lotion and you kept leaning in to explain concepts in a soft little voice and every time your shoulder brushed hers she nearly blacked out.
“ellie?” you said after she hadn’t answered in a full minute.
“huh?”
“you’re staring at me.”
“i—i’m trying to understand reinforcement schedules,” she lied.
“really?” you asked, turning slightly, resting your cheek on your hand. “because i’m pretty sure you’ve been looking at me for the last twenty minutes.”
ellie’s soul left her body.
she opened her mouth. closed it. considered jumping out your window.
you laughed softly, then nudged her foot with yours under the blanket.
“it’s okay,” you said. “i don’t mind when you stare.”
ellie forgot what a textbook was.
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ellie was not in her right mind today. she hadn’t slept. she’d had an energy drink the size of her head. and you were wearing that outfit—the oversized sweater, the cute little skirt, the lip gloss that made her want to bite a desk.
so naturally, she did what any sleep-deprived jock with a hopeless crush would do:
she walked straight up to you and dropped the dumbest pickup line known to mankind.
you were at your locker, swapping out books, earbuds in. ellie tapped your shoulder like she had something urgent to say.
“hey,” she said, breathless. “emergency.”
you blinked, tugging your earbud out. “what?”
“i just—i need you to know,” ellie panted dramatically, “i have two brain cells. and they’re both in love with you.”
you stared at her.
she stared back, hands on her knees like she’d just run a mile.
silence.
then you burst out laughing.
like, hands-on-the-locker, eyes-scrunched, full-body laughter. students turned their heads. ellie grinned like an idiot.
“ellie, what the hell was that?” you managed between giggles.
“peak rizz,” she said proudly. “did it work?”
you didn’t say anything. just looked at her with that same amused, sweet stare and then leaned in—real close—and whispered:
“maybe i’ll let one of your brain cells take me out sometime.”
ellie made a sound that could only be described as feral.
she fist-pumped the air the second you turned away and accidentally hit a locker so hard it echoed through the hall.
jesse texted her 0.3 seconds later:
“yo?? why did i just hear a whole concussion outside chem lab??”
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ellie was pacing. in the dining hall. like a psycho.
she saw you sitting alone with your little fruit cup and your leg bouncing and your airpods in like some perfect, unattainable indie movie girl, and suddenly all her usual rizz evaporated. she had nothing.
not a single brain cell willing to help.
so she did what any disaster lesbian would do.
she googled pickup lines in the hallway.
jesse watched her from afar like he was witnessing a slow-motion car crash. “you’re insane,” he said. “i’m in love,” ellie hissed, typing “funny but hot pickup lines lesbian” with one hand.
ten minutes later, she marched up to your table like she wasn’t about to risk every ounce of her dignity.
you looked up. smiled. “hey.”
ellie slammed her tray down and sat across from you, eyes wide, breathing like she’d just run suicides.
“do you—do you believe in love at first sight,” she blurted, “or should i walk by again?”
you blinked.
ellie blinked back.
“…you okay?” you asked slowly.
ellie pointed at her chest. “heart. yours. take it.”
you snorted into your drink. “ellie.”
“i’m serious,” she said, leaning forward. “i’m already planning our future. we’ll have a cat named mozzarella. we’ll fight about paint colors. you’ll win.”
you tried not to laugh. “i think you’ve had too much caffeine.”
“i think you’ve had too little me.”
you died.
right then and there. full-on laugh, head thrown back, fruit cup forgotten. ellie had never felt more victorious in her entire life.
and then—then—you reached over and plucked a grape from her tray.
“you’re lucky you’re cute,” you said, popping it in your mouth.
ellie stared, slack-jawed. she didn’t even like grapes. but now they were her favorite fruit.
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it was game day. ellie was locked in—fully focused, headphones in, cleats on, pacing like a wolf in the tunnel. until—
you walked in wearing her team colors.
not just any colors. her number. on your cheek. in glitter. and her name on your back. in bold black letters.
she actually stumbled. tripped on air. almost faceplanted into the locker door.
you smiled all innocent. “hi, captain.”
ellie grabbed the wall. “you—are you trying to kill me?”
you twirled once. “do i look good?”
“you look like my future wife,” ellie muttered.
“what?”
“you look good,” ellie shouted a little too loudly. “like—very. very good. like i might forget how to play soccer and run in circles kind of good.”
you laughed, stepping into her space. “maybe i wanted to distract you.”
ellie narrowed her eyes. “that’s foul play.”
you smirked. “you gonna card me?”
“i might have to bench myself instead,” she muttered.
and then—god help her—you tugged the collar of her jersey.
“next game,” you whispered, “let me borrow the real thing.”
ellie blinked. “the—my jersey?”
“or your last name,” you said sweetly, then walked off like you didn’t just set her whole soul on fire.
ellie just stood there.
a full minute later, the coach walked in, slapped her on the back, and said, “jesus, who turned you into a tomato?”
ellie didn’t answer. she was too busy texting jesse:
bro. she wants to wear my LAST NAME. i’m gonna throw up. she’s gonna marry me. this is it.
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it was quiet.
dead quiet.
and ellie? ellie was suffering.
not because of the exam. not because of the overdue essay. no—because you were sitting across from her in the campus library, hoodie falling off one shoulder, lip tucked between your teeth, reading with those cute little glasses on.
and every time you looked up, ellie would pretend to be writing something. she wasn’t. she was drawing hearts in the margins of her notebook like a 13-year-old at a sleepover.
you glanced up again. caught her. again.
raised an eyebrow like, you good?
ellie immediately held up a random flashcard to cover her face. it said: "operant conditioning is…" (she did not know what operant conditioning was.)
you giggled.
she peeked over the top. “i—uh—i’m studying,” she whispered.
you smirked. “really? because you’ve highlighted the same sentence three times.”
ellie looked down. the page was glowing yellow. “okay maybe i’m… distracted.”
you leaned forward across the table, chin in your palm, voice soft: “what’s distracting you?”
ellie’s brain fried like a cheap toaster. “you. it’s you. you’re distracting me. you’ve been distracting me since the first time i saw you laugh in bio and i can’t focus on neurons when all i want is to hold your hand in the student union.”
you blinked. ellie blinked.
that was supposed to stay in her head.
“oh my god,” she whispered. “i—i blacked out. did i say that out loud?”
you nodded slowly. “every word.”
ellie pushed back from the table, fully ready to fake a fire drill just to flee the building.
but then—you reached out.
touched her hand.
and smiled.
“meet me here tomorrow?” you asked. “same time?”
ellie swallowed. nodded. nearly choked.
and when she got back to her dorm, she texted dina in all caps:
BRO I ACCIDENTALLY RIZZED HER IN THE LIBRARY IT WORKED?????? SHES COMING BACK I THINK THIS IS WHAT TRUE LOVE FEELS LIKE
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group projects were hell.
ellie hated them. she hated presentations, she hated color-coded slides, and she really hated wearing a button-down shirt like some kind of presentable human being.
but you?
you were thriving.
all calm and smart and perfect, typing fast on your laptop and explaining things with that teacher voice that made ellie want to combust. you even said “we should keep it concise for flow,” and ellie nearly proposed on the spot.
so naturally… she picked a fight.
“i mean,” ellie said, sprawled across her chair with a lollipop in her mouth, “we could do it your way, or we could do it the cool way.”
you didn’t look up. “is the cool way the one where we fail?”
jesse snorted.
ellie pointed her lollipop at you like a sword. “ma’am. i’ll have you know, my cool way once got me a c+.”
“that explains so much,” you muttered, typing.
ellie leaned in. “okay, you wound me. but that’s fine. i like a little pain. makes me feel alive.”
you looked up. finally. raised an eyebrow.
“do you flirt like this with everyone you disagree with?” you asked.
ellie smirked. “only the ones i want to marry.”
jesse audibly choked on his coffee.
you blinked. slowly.
ellie blinked back. stared. gave you the most stupidly confident look known to womankind.
you tilted your head. “if we were lab partners, you’d contaminate the whole experiment.”
“if we were lab partners,” ellie shot back, “i’d mix our dna.”
you stared.
ellie licked her lollipop and winked. “mitochondria’s the powerhouse of my feelings for you.”
you pressed your palm to your face, but you were laughing. and red. like so red. and when you handed her your notes later, there was a tiny heart next to her name.
ellie stared at it for twenty minutes.
she kept the paper in her backpack. still has it. probably framed it.
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it was raining.
hard.
the kind of rain that turned sidewalks into rivers and drowned out every thought in your head.
you were standing under the bus stop awning, soaked through, breath fogging in the cold. and then—you heard her.
“hey!”
you turned.
ellie sprinted up, hoodie plastered to her skin, chest heaving, soaked curls sticking to her face like she’d run through the whole damn storm just to get to you. (which she had.)
you stared. “ellie?! what the hell—”
“i need to say something,” she cut in, voice too loud, too urgent.
“ellie, you’re drenched—”
“i like you.”
you froze.
“i—no—i’m in love with you, okay? i tried the whole chill thing, i tried being smooth, i tried pickup lines and study sessions and pretending i didn’t stare at your mouth like it’s the only thing that makes me believe in god—” ellie was rambling now, hands flailing, voice breaking. “but it’s you. it’s always been you. every time you smile at me, i forget my name. every time you laugh, it’s like my entire brain just short-circuits. you’re—fuck, you’re everything.”
you stared at her, breath caught.
ellie swallowed. “and i know i joke a lot, but i’m serious. if you told me to walk across this whole campus barefoot just to hold your hand, i’d do it. i’d run. i’d run faster than i did just now, and i nearly ate shit in front of two frat guys and a goose.”
you blinked. “…a goose?”
“irrelevant.” ellie stepped forward, eyes shining. “all that matters is you. so, please. just—say something. or kiss me. or slap me. i’ll take anything.”
a pause.
the rain roared.
and then—you stepped into her chest. pulled her by the soaked strings of her hoodie.
and kissed her.
hard. soft. all at once.
ellie made a sound like she'd just flatlined and came back to life. her arms locked around your waist like you were the last solid thing in the world, like she could finally breathe. your fingers curled into her hair, and she just melted into you, every part of her soaked and shaking and alive.
you broke apart, gasping. foreheads pressed.
“i like you too,” you whispered.
ellie blinked.
then laughed.
then kissed you again, grinning like an idiot.
and when jesse passed by ten minutes later and saw you two making out under the storm, he just shook his head and muttered, “goddamn. finally.”
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AHHHHHHH THANK YOU TO ALL MY DARLING GIRLS ATTENDED TO MY TED TALKS TODAY!! LOVE U ALL! <33
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jjwolves · 9 days ago
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POST PRODUCTION ・・・・・・・・・
What: 5 Headcanons of Tenna X Reader
Who: Tenna, from Deltarune (By Toby Fox)
How Much: ~1500 Words, ~8 mins
Credits: Image Banner -> Toby Fox, Divider -> @strangergraphics
Warnings: None
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Tenna is a textbook overworker and near-constant entertainer. He is often seen giving 200% effort to just about anything he does, and that includes courting you. Before you were even sure that he was interested, he was haphazardly leaving binders full of minigame ideas lying around, some of which were... suspicious. Sometimes you'd take a peek when he was out of the room, and they'd all be related to things you had mentioned liking in passing. Like fish? There's a crudely-drawn blueprint for a fishing minigame. Did you once say that you always enjoyed those carnival games where you throw a ball to knock a stack of bottles over? It's present in the roster, verbatim. You pretend that you weren't doing anything when Tenna returns in a hurry and grabs one of his binders off the table before urgently hurrying off. You don't think you'll tell him, just to spare him the potential embarrassment. "No need to hold in a LAUGH around me! I know I'm funny!" If only he knew.
Tenna often runs around trying to please you when he's not busy with his show. He always brings you coffee in the mornings--despite his showman flair, it is not smooth nor cute. It is frantic. He sprints to the cafe and bursts inside, leaning on the counter from exhaustion as he orders a coffee with the cadence of a man begging for his life. "Yes--yes, they like it with that lavender foam on top, they say they don't when I ask because it costs more that way, but I know they like it, I KNOW these things, please HURRY UP THEY'RE GONNA BE BUSY ALREADY IF YOU DON'T BREW FASTER! DON'T... DON'T YOU KNOW I OWN YOUR CONTRACT?!" He swipes it out of the hands of the Shadow Man working the counter and bolts to where you are, not noticing that he's slowly shrinking as he starts to doubt his timing and his memory. It was lavender, wasn't it? By the time he reaches you and skids to a stop, he's shorter than half your size. "H-hey, looks like I caught you just in time! I got a coffee for you." When you thank him and ask him how he knew exactly what you liked, he lets out a long sigh of relief as he slowly regains his size. "That's what you got two weeks ago, obviously. Oh, is this a memory game? I'll have you know I'm highly skilled!" You tell him that if he wants to get you a coffee, he doesn't have to pay extra for that sort of flavoring... You'd be happy with whatever he got for you. In fact, you'll get him one next time. "...Is that so. Ha! OK! Well! I'll take you up on that! Anyways, heh, the show's not gonna run itself!" The Hope-O-Meter is filled to the brim with fireworks.
TV Time's host is pretty horrible at hiding his adoration for you, yet at the same time, he'd never come out and confess. You think it's probably because he's worried that you'll say no (you wouldn't). His underlings feel kind of bad for him and try to clue you in as if you didn't already know. In passing, a Shadow Man tells you, "Da Boss really likes ya, if it wasn't obvious already. I don't really see why, but I'm into flatter folks anyhow. Either way, he's never gonna tell ya, so you may as well rip da bandaid off. Or make his day." You start thinking about how to best return his affections without scaring him away. He's obviously terrified of rejection, so you'll have to be subtle about it. As you walk away, lost in thought, a nearby Pippin chatters with the Shadow Man who encouraged you. "The boss is alright and all, but he can be a little scary sometimes, can't he?" The Shadow Man nods. "Yeah, but he's on his best behavior when they's around. I think we'll be in da clear once they's together."
You call Tenna to tell him to meet you in person so you can share some ideas that you came up with for his show. Little did you know, he was just ending a game show segment when you called, his antennae intercepting the signal you sent out. He paused for a moment before offering a comedic aside to the crowd. "When I said 'phone a friend', I didn't mean me!" The audience let out a short bout of laughter as Tenna listened to the signal. He gasped. "Oh! This call is--Them. They want to meet... with me?" The crowd responded with a conspiratorial "ooh". Tenna turned to the crowd and blushed. "Hey! Um, thanks for the vote of confidence, folks, but show's over! I gotta get going! Thanks for tuning in to TV Time! OK, see you next time!" After an animated wave, the show's host was quick to draw the curtains and leap off the stage to go meet with you. You're set up at a table when Tenna finds you, and he's eager to settle his giant body into the a chair which is hilariously small by comparison before twiddling with his thumbs anxiously. "It's so good to see my GREATEST fan again! I'm kind of surprised that you remembered my frequency." Of course you remembered! You also mention that you saw his show today and that it was as riveting as it always was. Tenna seemed to glow a little brighter and fill a little more space after you said that. You then, perhaps in a moment of mischief, asked why the crowd thought it was so funny that you were calling him. "W-wha? I mean, pheh, how should I know!? They're WILDer than TV Times's WILDest prizes, that lot! My fans, ever hungry for RIVETING drama! They're obviously a little... heh, mistaken? On our... relationship?" Tenna gritted out the last part like he was testing dangerous waters. You said that the audience didn't sound mistaken at all as you reached out and squeezed his cartoonishly gloved hand. You liked him a lot. It's why you wanted to see him today. "You--you're not saying--you're--your hand--whoah mama!! You're not saying...?!" You are. You think you're in love with him. He has no idea how to react to you returning his affections. He's elated. He's terrified. "I'm reeling from the feeling!! I--I still don't have those minigames for you done yet! What am I doing?! I bet I'm looking so glooby right now! And the video game isn't ready for you yet, and I still have to--" You shush him and say that he doesn't need to prepare all this stuff to get you to want to be with him. He just needs to bring himself. Tenna gingerly takes your hands in his, which are huge compared to yours, as his screen flickers off with seriousness. "...Okay! Okay. Just myself..." A pause, and then an anxious whisper. "I really want to believe that I can do that."
So, you and the host of TV World are dating now. A lot of it is old hat; even though Tenna acknowledges your sentiment that he's good enough on his own, he's very much a textbook people-pleaser and overworker. You don't work for him, nor are you really a cohost for him, since he asked you if you would want to be and you said no. Before he could shrink, you specified that nobody could do a better job than just him, and he seemed to be OK after that. Still, you tune into every show that he does, and you swear you're not a narcissist, but you're pretty sure you keep finding Easter Eggs referencing you just about everywhere. If you have a favorite accessory you're always carrying around, expect it to appear in some form within a TV Time bumper. Tenna often uses brief asides to allude to you and lightheartedly brag about "winning" you. "Isn't love a WONDERFUL thing?! (I would know, after all!) Luckily, that's the subject of this next quiz: Romance! I'd be a bad host if I didn't know the answers, wouldn't I?" (Which is hilarious--aren't you the one who got lucky?) If you have a theme song, the show's little jingles have your motif in them. And if you ever show up as a contestant? There will be bias--safety nets which don't exist for the others and made-up rankings that Tenna ad-libs on the spot. "I've never seen a score so high! You get... Gamma Rank! I know you don't get paid, but if you did, you'd deserve a rays! Anyone? Anyone?" At the end of the show, the truth is that you won the greatest prize of all, and the love that you both scored is enough to give Tenna the strength to just... be. You both find each other perfect, no post-production needed.
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A/N: The day has come to post something unrelated to ENA. A return to form is in order, no worries; I just wanted to make something for this guy. I like him. I... relate to him? I'd be down to write more for him... Honk.
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cuteandhughesy · 5 months ago
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Love Looks Pretty On You ╰┈➤ JK8
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summary: dating one of the members of the new jersey devils roster was frowned upon, and breaching that rule could result in the loss of your job—however, when johnathan kovacevic comes into the picture, the rules seem to fade away
[word count] 15.5k
warnings: NSFW! workplace romance | forbidden relationship | coach!reader | suggestive dialogue throughout entirety of the fic | shameless flirting and teasing | fluff | lil bit of angst | kissing | alcohol | smut | phone sex | (f + m) masturbation | oral (f receiving) | protected p in v | suggestive themes | read at your own discretion
a/n: based off this lovely request! this is a player i’ve never written before, and before this request I wasn’t too familiar with (just his name and the team he plays for) so i’m so happy to have learned and now share! but i’m actually really happy with this, so I hope you love.
🎵 love looks pretty on you by nessa barrett, glitch by taylor swift, cry your heart out by adele, stuttering by jack & jack, fantasy by mariah carey, back for you by one direction, + heavenly by cigarettes after sex
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part1: job of your dreams
you toy with the long stick of liquid eyeliner, biting the most sensitive part of your inner lip as you contemplate your next move. your eyes dart back to your own reflection, examining your usual makeup look that you'd just finished. is winged liner too much?
today is the first day of your new—dream—job. a job which before jessica campbell paved the way to woman leading jobs in the nhl, you never imagined you'd achieve...but here you are—in your bathroom, minus 1 hour until you needed to show your face at prudential center and contemplating if you wanted to add a small black wing on your eyelid.
you want to come off sophisticated and put together, and you can't decide if liner is the perfect way to showcase that...or the complete opposite. you look down to the drugstore branded stick, and with a rough sigh, you slot it back in your drawer—nestled between other coloured pencils you're always hesitant in using and a stack of blotting sheets you always forget to grab before heading out.
you leave your warm bathroom without another glance at the mess of makeup left on your bathroom counter, hastily making your way through the hallway and towards the kitchen—you still need to get your coffee ready. the sound of your feet padding along the hardwood has you cat, hazelnut, chirping sweetly, jumping off the back of the couch in favour of weaving through your legs.
you almost trip, and you curse gently. "hazy, baby, please—i'm nervous enough already? the last thing I need is to fall and break my nose beforehand."
she blinks her wide green eyes at you, and obviously that's as much as an answer you're going to get out of your sweet kitty. you sigh, carefully walking around her and to the previously brewed coffee pot. to keep with the professional vibe you're hoping to give off, you opt for a sleek black travel tumbler, filling it dangerously high with decaf—although the chances of you leaving it in your cup holder is so high, you could've chose a rangers branded tumbler and it wouldn't of really mattered.
you fasten the lid, turning and meeting the eyes of hazelnut—who's now sitting comfortably on your kitchen island, her striped tail wagging happily. you give your cat a nervous, closed lip smile. "wish me luck!"
and in some twisted way like your cat can understand you, she meows once, a slow blink of her eyes following. it has the nerves bubbling in your stomach settling down ever so slightly, and you finally feel like you can drag yourself out the house.
just before you open the door, you double back and speed walk back into your mess of a bathroom, pulling the top drawer back open and grabbing not only your blotting sheets, but the eyeliner as well—throwing them both into your purse.
the drive to the arena was filled with your own personal ferris wheel of nervous anticipation and self deprecation—accompanied by your cheesy pop playlist full of tate mcrae, the wicked broadway soundtrack, and everything in between. you're so focused on not only the road ahead, but with the thoughts of how you'll make the best impression on the men that you'll be helping coach.
the professional hockey players that you'll be coaching. it's so surreal, and just as exciting—so much so that you're not even positive it's completely sunk in, despite the butterflies in your stomach reminding you every single minute.
by the time you pull into the parking lot, you're only just realizing you left too early—the practically empty parking lot and time on your dashboard undeniable evidence as such. you turn off your engine, unbuckling your seatbelt with a deep breath. you fall back into your seat, attempting to get a grip on your sweaty limbs and racing heart.
"fuck it." you chime, digging through your purse while simultaneously flipping your visior down—the mirror lights shining in your face. you grab the eyeliner, and with another sigh, you begin lining your lashes, creating the smallest wing. you pull back, and surprisingly enough it looks really good—good choice, you think to yourself.
"okay," you smile, "now just the other side." talking to yourself has always been your favourite pass time, as clinically insane as that may seem. there's no friend—or critique—like yourself, and sometimes you needed you to tell yourself things—like the choice to bring your eyeliner for example...smart.
you drop the felt tip to the middle of your lid, and slowly begin dragging it outwards. you're pretty sure your tongue is poking out as a concentration method, and you can only hope none of your new team members are around to see the way your face is contorted.
a soccer ball smacks against your window, making you jump. the tip of your eyeliner follows the line of your face, a thick black line going all the way back to your hairline. "shit!"
shocked, and still flustered from the sudden scare you whip around to look through the driver's window in an attempt to see what the fuck just occurred. a battered soccer ball rolls away from your tires, back in the direction it came from. your eyes follow the pattern, slowly trailing the line until you're landing upon...oh it's a man.
a man who is jogging towards your car with a sheepish expression on his face. you open your door and quickly get out of the car just as the man stops in front of you—his guilty expression not yet letting up.
he's actually quite handsome, you think. beautiful tawny skin with a hint of dark stubble lining his sharp jaw and chin. he's also tall, like intimidatingly so—it has you feeling tiny in comparison.
"i'm so sorry," he starts, voice gravelly in a way that has your stomach swooping. "soccer has never been my sport of choice...for obvious reasons." the man gestures between the now still soccer ball and your open car door, a small, but hesitant grin taking over his face.
if you were angry before, you're not anymore—any remarks dying on your tongue at the sight of the attractive man in front of you. you clear your throat twice, blinking to regain focus—this is the last thing you needed to be thinking about on a day as big as this one. you're not sure exactly what to say, but you know the words that leave your mouth next aren't the right ones. "yeah, soccer sucks."
his eyes twinkle with amusement, his grin growing slightly. behind you, a small brunette with killer curves and a phone in her hands calls for him. "johnny, can you at least throw the ball back! i'm missing prime content—wait, luke come back!" the girl in question attempts getting luke hughes, an nhl player you're well familiar with, to participate in whatever video she's filming—clearly one that involves the soccer ball between you and johnny.
he picks up the ball before tossing it back in her direction, which another player who looks like dougie hamilton catches. johnny turns back to you, eyes following the black line on your face. "you've got makeup..." he trails off, gesturing to the area on his own face.
you gasp slightly, memories of only moments ago when you'd totally not only messed up your eyeliner, but your face makeup. "fuck," you curse hurriedly, darting back into your car and pulling the mirror as close to yourself as it can go. you're in an awkward position, half in your car while your ass juts out.
johnny clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he attempt to draw his eyes away from your backside—your ass and thighs that are perfectly hugged by the heather gray slacks you're wearing.
you lick your thumb, swiping the liner—but it only makes more of a mess. "double fuck." you pull yourself out of your car, turning back to the 6"5 god behind you. he's blushing now, eyes not quite meeting yours as he attempts to calm himself down—johnathan doesn't think he's ever been this turned on from dress pants in his life.
"do you have a napkin? or maybe some tissue?" you ask him, seemingly unaware of the tension in his shoulders and flickering gaze.
slowly, he shakes his head. "no, I don't, i'm sorry." his face falls as yours does. he hates the way your clear disappointment makes him feel...fuzzy. johnathan steps closer, his mouth opening as he tries to finds his wording. "but, I can help...If you want. ill just use the sleeve of my sweater, I can wet it and clean you up..." his eyes twinkle, an awkward chuckle leaving him. "you can even lick the sweater if you prefer."
you look up at him with what you can only describe as a combination of amusement and disbelief. johnny has already pulled his black sweatshirt over his fist, closing the distance between you with one large step. "you can lick it, I don't mind."
he's kind of relived that you don't want to lube up his sweater with your spit, because then johnathan would be really turned on. he nods, wetting the edge of his sweater before bringing it up to the side of your face, gently wiping away the mess of eyeliner smudged along there.
despite how odd this whole interaction is, you can't help but feel rather enamoured with the mystery man—a man who obviously plays for the new jersey devils, or at least works for them. but based on his stature and the size of his quads peeking out from his athletic shorts—you're thinking it's the former.
his eyes are filled with nothing but concentration as he wipes away the makeup off your skin, his sweater soft against the side of your face as he works. you watch as his tongue pokes out the corner of his lips as he focuses, and that has a smile blossoming on your face.
"okay," he begins quietly, using the other side of his sleeve to dry your skin. "you might want to double check that, but I got it all off—well, my sweater did." johnathan laughs that awkward rumble again, and you can't help the way it makes your heart leap.
so much for being professional.
"thanks." you hum, smile growing. "i'm y/n."
he breathes in something that feels like relief, shoulders dropping slightly as the tension he'd been feeling earlier begins dispersing. "johnathan."
your brows pull in confusion, but your grin stays. "that girl called you johnny, is that what you prefer I call you?"
"you can call me anything you want." the words slip from his tongue before he can think them through, and johnathan hates the way his cheeks flush at his own words—but he loves the way your cheeks do.
"okay," you hum, turning to grab your purse from the passenger seat of the car. you take a glance in your visior mirror, and surprisingly he did a really good job at fixing your makeup—the wing is a little wonky but all the men you'll soon be surrounded with won't notice...you hope. you stand up straight, shutting the car door with an echoing thump.
the parking lot has begun filling up, various hockey players and team members making their way inside—most participating in the game the admin girl had set up by the entrance.
"i'll call you johnny then." you hum lowly, adjusting your purse on your shoulder as you begin making your way towards the entrance doors—heels clicking the pavement as you do. considering you're actively meeting and speaking to one of the guys you'll be coaching, slapping on the faux confident personality came as second nature.
it's not that you weren't confident in your job ability to coach these professional athletes—you were more than prepared and qualified for such. but, you've never been super confident in your personal life, especially when it has to do with attractive men who you really shouldn't be forming an attraction for.
regardless, you glance over you shoulder—eyeing his frozen stature and slightly agape mouth accompanied with an amused, flushed expression. "you coming, johnny?"
your question seems to snap him out of whatever daze he'd been trapped in, blinking three times quick as he begins moving, catching up to you with two strides—honestly, screw tall men with their long limbs! or maybe you just want to actually screw them...you can't decipher that right now.
much to johnathan's dismay, as soon as you enter the building, you are swept away by a member of staff, leaving him to stand awkwardly by himself for a fleeting moment until he realizes what the fuck he's doing. before the devils on ice practice today, they'd all been called in early for what keefe and fitzgerald described as an 'introductory meeting'—whatever that means.
it's not long until he's walking through the threshold of the large room, finding most of his teammates and various members of staff already in there. some sitting and chatting, while others haven't yet taken a seat, but instead stand beside the long rectangle tables as they discuss whatever they might be discussing.
johnathan takes his seat beside brett pesce and curtis lazar, greeting his teammates with a closed lipped smile and quick nod, stretching his long legs out underneath the table. they make small talk as the rest of the team filters into the room, following suit and finding various spots throughout the room to take their seats.
it's not 10 minutes later that the head coach and general manager of the team join them—smiling politely as they come to a stop at the front of the meeting room. fitzgerald clears his throat, and although the room has begun quieting down at the authority figures presence, it completely silenced as he begins to speak. "thank you all for coming so early, we appreciate your time for such a special meeting."
special? johnathan thinks, frown tugging at his lips. what's so special about this meeting?
the GM continues, an easy expression on his sunkissed face. "as you know, we've been looking for a new fit for our open assistant coaching position behind the bench. sheldon and I wanted to make sure that this person was not only qualified, but was fun, exciting and above all knowledgeable...." he trails off, smile growing. "with that being said, id like to introduce you to our newest member of staff: assistant coach, y/n y/l/n."
it's then that johnathan notices you—you and your ridiculously faltering pants and sexy eyeliner. he swallows nervously, eyes darting around the room like he's done something wrong. he hasn't, so he's not sure by it feels that way. he should've known that you and your new, pretty face had something to do with the introduction meeting sprung on the team.
beside him, brett snickers. "how are we supposed to focus with that talking to us?" his words are hushed and slow, brett's eyes never once leaving your figure as you begin introducing yourself to the room.
that comment makes johnathan feel the upmost angry, and suddenly he feels very inclined to punch his defensive teammate in the jaw. but, he thankfully doesn't. what he does do though is narrow his gaze, shrugging his shoulders roughly. "learn."
johnathan doesn't wait for brett's reply before turning his attention towards you, catching the tail end of your introduction. he kind of feels like a sleaze anytime his eyes wander over your body, studying the curve of your hips and the round, full display of your breasts under your high necked cotton top. it also doesn't help that he knows what your ass looks like bent over, or how he knows that you smell like peaches doused in brown sugar—that he knows how your skin feels underneath his spit covered hoodie.
a low groan rumbles in johnathan’s chest—thankfully it’s not loud enough to draw the attention of any close teammates, because he really doesn’t want to explain that. subtly, he adjusts in his seat, palming his semi-hard bulge as if he's trying to tell his dick to cut it out. you're acting like such a douche, he thinks.
you stand on the other side of sheldon keefe, half listening as he goes over some minor details before the start of ice practice. you can't help the way your eyes wonder, analyzing the new faces of various players you'll soon be coaching. jack hughes, who looks tired and like he'd rather be anywhere else this morning. then there's curtis lazar, who is the complete opposite of the middle hughes brother—eyes wide and alert as he nods along to his head coach.
then like a magnetic pull, your eyes find johnathan's—or rather, johnny. he's not looking at sheldon like his table partners, but instead his gaze lingers on you. immediately you feel warm, interlocking eyes and not wanting to look away. the faintest smile pulls at the corners of his mouth, so faint that you're not sure if it's happening or if you're imagining it.
he's stupid hot. like so hot your entire body is on fire. it's dangerous and wrong—it's tempting. not only is he easy on the eyes, but he seems sweet and slightly awkward. which is the perfect combination to have you falling. subtly, you raise an eyebrow at him in silent question.
johnathan blinks, looking away from you. just before you can feel embarrassed about the situation or feel like you read him wrong, a more prominent smile pulls at his lips, eyes flickering back to yours in a fleeting moment.
you're in trouble.
for the entire time you're on the ice, even when you're going through drills and giving words of encouragement as well as discipline, you can't help but find johnathan through the sea of various faces staring at you.
it's truly like a magnetic force, and your body feels drawn to his—even though you've barley talked to the guy. you know interpersonal relationships with the athletes is frowned upon, especially when you're in a coaching position. the hiring staff made sure you were well aware of that before you were hired.
to which you told them it wouldn't be a problem—but now here you are, watching the sweat trickle down johnathan kovacevic's neck as he catches his breath with some other players next to you. and you're almost annoyed at yourself, because you really like this job, and the guys are all so welcoming and kind—well, to your face at least, and that's honestly all you can ask for.
you don't want to risk your dream job for some silly little heat of the moment crush—you can't. but as you get home a few hours and a tour of the arena later, snuggled on the couch with hazelnut beside you and a slice of cold leftover pizza in your hand—you're googling him. you dive into articles and video interviews that when he speaks in them, your belly twirls around in excitement.
but you know you're fucked when you start scrolling through his google pictures, mentally taking note of which ones are your favourites. your cat keeps giving you looks, like she knows you're doing something you shouldn't be.
but you just can't help it—stupid magnetic pull.
the next day comes with a little less stress, and a lot more excitement. you go through your morning routine with steady hands, and a content smile. todays schedule looks a little different than yesterdays, as today you'll actually be put to the test—coaching alongside keefe, colliton, and mcgill during a game.
you head to your local gym before lunch to get in a workout—hopefully burning all lingering nervous thoughts and energy out of your system. after a few hours out of the house, you make your way back home, feeding hazelnut some blueberry salmon treats before hopping into the shower.
as you dress yourself for the game, you don't contemplate anything—you know the exact outfit and makeup style you want and unlike yesterday you're leaving the black eyeliner behind. you're taking the mess up yesterday as a sign, and that you're better off looking professional without the black wing lining your eye. but then again, it's the reason you met johnathan—which, yeah you can't stop thinking about him.
but you can't start thinking about how you can't stop thinking about him or you'll spiral into a panic—which isn't ideal—so you're avoiding that itch in your brain for now. you make sure hazelnut has an appropriate portion of biscuits and water before heading out, driving to the arena.
it goes by in a bit of a blur, with various interviews and introductions that you needed to complete as the new assistant coach of the new jersey devils—which is still so surreal, and the cameras, athletes and smell of the ice rink is even more. soon enough the lights are dimming, and the beginning chords of the national anthem begin.
you try your best to stay straight faced and forward, but keeping your eyes from wandering is something you have no control over. the stands are packed, which is an electric feeling—but even with the buzz of the crowd and the various athletes in front of you, there's only one face you're seeking out.
your gaze lands on him, trailing over the number 8 on the side of his jersey and the tail end of his last name on the back. johnathan looks really good in red, you think—it complements his tan skin and dark hair almost perfectly. speaking of his hair, the curly locks are in a disarray, wet from the water he'd poured on his head during warmups, and frizzy from the towel he ran over his head afterwards.
he takes a deep breath, his cheeks puffing out as he exhales. johnathan shakes his limbs out before resting his chin on the end of his hockey stick. like he can feel your stare, his eyes flicker towards you, and your heart almost stops as your eyes lock.
he squints almost playfully, the smallest grin on his face as the anthem comes to a close. you blush, the overhead lights flickering back to life as the first period begins. johnathan fully turns in your direction, but his eyes find one of the trainers—calling for a fresh set of gloves.
the sleeves of his jersey are rolled up just enough for you to ogle his arms—veins under damp skin that look so tempting…you want to run your tongue along them. your breath hitches just as he catches the new gloves, eyes landing on you once more.
johnathan was well aware of your wandering eyes, not matter how subtle they were. it has him feeling giddy in the best way, and just before he takes his seat, he winks at you—so fast and soft that he's not even sure you've seen it.
but you did, and you force yourself to look away before you get caught. fuck the risk, you need him.
part2: wandering eyes and fluttering hearts
it's seems that the universe has plans for you and johnathan kovacevic—you can't tell if they’re positive or negative yet...but you know it's got something up its sleeve.
not only do you have to fight your urges to pounce on johnathan during work hours—like meetings, practices and games—but it also seems like you're running into him everywhere, and your desires for him are growing stronger every time you spot him out and about. whether he's letting his hand brush against your lower back as a playful greeting in the frozen isle of the grocery store, or seeing you in the lineup of a cafe and tapping his card before you have the chance to pay for yourself—none of it is helping.
johnathan is ridiculously kind, and an even better listener—you've learned such in the now two months you've been with the devils. where as some of the players aren't always friendly, and snap in frustration at you (even if they're not mad at you specifically), johnny was different. it's safe to say you've developed an embarrassing crush on a man who is technically below you on the professional scale. you know it's wrong, and you know you're his superior, but you can't help the way you feel—despite the ethics of it all.
and johnathan doesn't care either—he's been nonstop thinking about you since your wild, makeup smudged eyes met his through your cars window. everything about you is tempting and exhilarating, and he's not sure how much longer he'll be able to keep his hands to himself. the way you seem to look at him with a certain twinkle in your eye, and blush anytime he comes in close to ask you a question, isn't doing him any favours—it seems like most days end now with his large hand wrapped around his throbbing cock, stroking himself to relive the tension you bring him.
the best tension imaginable.
he's not sure what the rules are when it comes to interpersonal relationships within the nhl, but johnathan doesn't care because he'd be willing to never even look at a hockey puck again if it meant he got to kiss your lips even once—he's down bad.
just before your third month of employment with the devils, johnathan cracks. it's late at night, too late for him to still be awake when an early morning practice awaits him—but he can't find himself to sleep yet, not with thoughts of you running through his head.
the bottom of his phone rests against his bare chest as he thumbs through his list of contacts like he's on autopilot. johnathan pauses as he reaches your name, thumb halting on the gray contact icon. just the thought of your pretty lips framing your smile has his dick twitching in his pyjamas pants. johnathan sighs.
all the players had the coaching staffs numbers, so it's not like it was only johnathan who obtained your contact —so reaching out would be that crazy, right? he groans to himself, running his free hand through his tousled dark hair. johnathan only contemplates for a moment longer before opening a text thread. "fuck it."
he readjusts the cellphone in his hands, typing out a message. 'are you awake?'
johnathan clicks his tongue, deleting it before he can hit send. he shouldn't be giving into his temptation like this, especially as an athlete who practices control. it's too late, and probably too risky. he drops his phone to his chest, letting his eyes flicker shut—trying to calm his instincts.
his phone buzzes.
'hey' it's your number staring back at him—and he knows that because he's been memorizing the seven digits for the 25 minutes he's been contemplating texting you. but here you are, lighting up his lock screen with your simple greeting.
across the city, you lay in your own bed—too hot and too awake to focus on anything other than your phone. you gnaw your lip as you await for a reply—if johnathan is even awake to see it. you know there's a morning practice, and the chances of him even noticing your message tonight is slim. just as you plan on turning off your phone, it vibrates with an incoming message.
'is this a you up text?' you can practically hear his rumbly voice through his text, a smirk pulling at his tempting mouth.
you breathe a laugh—one that is tinged with nerves. you were risking a lot by sending that that message, and you're well aware of how much shit you could get in—but what's so wrong about a hello? your skin has been on fire for weeks at the mere thought of johnathan, and you're finally willing to do something about it. no matter what.
you quickly send a reply. 'is that what you're hoping for?'
johnathan re-reads your message three times, and each time his blush deepens, travelling down his taunt chest. 'not telling' he sends back, and before you have a chance to reply, he types another message. 'I was about to text you.'
you gulp gently, a million questions plaguing your mind. 'oh yeah? about what?'
at this point, johnathan knows he's in too deep to start acting coy and secretive now—there's no point of pretending he doesn't want you, no scratch that, need you. 'about having dinner thursday night. my place.' it was the perfect opportunity to spend time with you—thursday night had no games and no weird evening practice or meetings. it was free. for both of you.
you and johnathan both know having dinner somewhere out in jersey was too risky, because anybody could see you and put two and two together. the chances of getting caught by fans or teammates is too high. so him suggesting dinner at his place was making your belly spin—even though it was seemingly the bare minimum (but let's face it ladies, what man even gives the bare minimum anymore).
'if I say yes, can we order in ramen?' you tag a playful emoji on the end to showcase some playfulness. your eyes don't leave the bubbles that move along the bottom of your screen, a soft grin on your face as you wait.
'i'll order anything you want, y/n.'
it's two antagonizing days of anticipation, both you and johnathan doing your absolute best at acting as nonchalant as possible—pretending like you haven't been sending flirty texts and borderline risky snapchats to one another (an app that you both had to download because you're both acting like horny teenagers) for the last two days.
when thursday comes, you're practically buzzing with excitement. after a meeting in the late morning, you get home and take an extra hot and long shower—double washing your hair with an expensive shampoo, exfoliating and shaving every inch of your body.
you lounge around in your housecoat until you have to start getting ready—two hours before you're supposed to head to johnathan’s apartment. you opt for your usual makeup and natural hair, and you decide on your favourite jeans and black long sleeve—keeping it casual, but still cute.
hazelnut blinks at you from her spot on your closed toilet seat, a tiny purr leaving her stripped body. you pause the last flick of your mascara wand, eyeing your cat. "what? should I change?" she blinks again, and you smile like a crazy person. "you're right, I think it's perfect."
your cat chirps like she agrees, and it makes you laugh, coating your lashes in the final coat of your favourite mascara. "okay hazel baby," you start, eyeing your small collection of fragrances. "which perfume gives off i’m sophisticated but also I want to have sex vibes?"
her head cocks to the side, and you sigh. "sometimes I forgot you're not human," you reach out and give her a few affectionate pats. "johnny is going to be so surprised when he finds out I talk to my cat." you mutter to yourself, eyeing the perfumes once more. before you can overthink the decision and ultimately be late for your date, you spray yourself with your usual perfume—praying that it's a scent that johnathan loves.
the drive to his apartment only takes about 15 minutes, the traffic not too much considering it was an uneventful thursday evening. the security guard lets you through the gates after you told him you're a visitor—the sweet old man must've got a heads up from johnathan about your arrival.
you park in the first available spot, unbuckle your seatbelt and send him a message, 'i'm here, should I just come up?'
not even 10 seconds pass before he answers. 'i'm on my way down to get you' you smile as you read johnathan’s text, opening your car door and stepping out into the clean but stuffy parking garage. it's not a minute later you hear him call your name, the sound of his voice sending a pleasurable shiver down your spine. you grin as he approaches, "hey."
his smile mimics yours. "hey yourself." before he can decide against it, he pulls you into a quick, but sweet hug, squeezing your waist affectionately—and you go easily, your grin growing ever larger as your engulfed in his chest. he pulls back, "you look really nice...wow."
you watch as johnathan’s gaze wanders over your body, like he can't decide if he wants to undress you with his eyes or simply just admire you clothed. it has your belly swooping, anticipation tingling your body. "thanks, johnny." you hum lowly, taking the time to let your own gaze wander him.
johnathan looks so handsome—a crisp black shirt, and light wash jeans wrapping around his large thighs so deliciously. much to your embarrassment (or maybe your liking), he catches your stare, and a deep smile settles on his face at you clearly checking him out. "let's go upstairs."
you nod, slightly dazed and already turned on, letting him slide his fingers between yours and pull you in the direction of the elevator. the tension between you is undeniable, and the flirtatious glances you keep giving each other on the ride up to his floor are almost embarrassing. you're both so infatuated with one another, and you haven't even been close to kissing yet.
johnathan opens his apartment door, and the smell of soy sauce and steamed vegetables hit you—your stomach lowly rumbles and your mouth begins watering at the thought of food. he gestures for you to enter first, and he follows behind, shutting the door with a soft click. "the food was early, i've been keeping it warm in the oven—hope that's okay."
his apartment is really nice, with dark furniture and exposed brick. it's definitely a man cave, but not in a single, frat boy kind of way—but a sophisticated, busy manly way. you run your fingers over a dark green throw hanging over the back of the leather couch, a small playful grin pulling at your lips as you shoot him a look over your shoulder. "you know johnny, you're not supposed to leave the oven unattended."
he's in the kitchen, and because the apartment is mostly open concept—minus the bedroom—you can see him perfectly. johnathan opens the oven door, a breathy laugh leaving him as he takes out the various takeout containers. it's definitely not healthy for a professional athlete to be eating salty, delicious japanese cuisine, and if you were a meal specialist, you'd be frowning. but you're not! so you're not complaining.
"guess im just a risk taker." he hums, placing some of the ramen broth next to the cooked broccoli container—popping the lids off both.
you walk towards the island, leaning against the counter top to watch him work. you practically ogle his body as it moves—muscles shifting and contracting under his shirt so temptingly. you remove the lid off the spring bean take out container, a small grin on your face. "i'm hoping so ."
all the food is on the counter now, and that leaves johnathan to grab some dishes for the both of you—opening the cupboard beside the microwave and grabbing two sloped bowls and match plates. "are you always so confident?" he questions, placing them on the counter in front of you. he pulls open one of the drawers on his side of the island, pulling out two of each utensil. "like I don't know, you always seem to know exactly what to say...it's hot."
you blush, his compliment laying heavy on your heart. you take one of the bowls, loading some of the vegetable mix into it. "no actually, my confidence is mostly fake." he hums in surprise, spooning some beans into his bowl. you continue, "like i'm confident in my job, but when it comes to things like this—like you—I gotta fake it."
johnathan’s brows furrow while he contemplates which meat he wants in his ramen. "what?! like me? what does that mean?" he shoots you an amused look, before inevitably choosing beef and adding it into his bowl.
you laugh once, rounding the island to better reach the small styrofoam container of green onion. "yeah, I don't know you make me...feel things."
"what kind of things?" he questions lowly, the sound making your head spin. johnathan knows damn well what you're insinuating, and as soon as you say the words out loud, he may pounce.
you put some liquid into your bowl, completing the ramen bowl. you break apart one of the many pairs of chopsticks—there's enough food on the island to feed the entire team and some, so the twenty odd pairs of chopsticks don't come as a surprise. you twirl the utensils through the coil noodles, "i'll tell you later."
johnny barks a laugh, a nod following suit. "okay, fine." he watches as you bring the noodles to your mouth immediately, and he stops adding broth to his bowl. "just be careful cause it'll be really hot-"
his warning is cut short as you jump, your mouth hung open as you attempt to fan the hot food in—so hot that the steam is pouring from you like a dragon. "fuck, oh my god." you curse through the mouthful of burning noodles. you can't believe you didn't think to give it a minute before shoving the food in your mouth, and now it's so hot that you can't even chew the food without pain. you're left to only fan yourself and wait.
johnathan abandon’s his bowl on the counter, walking towards you in two quick strides. a curse falls from his mouth, "okay, hold still." he instructs you firmly, but yet softly—large hands enveloping your head as he holds your face. slowly, as if to not startle you, johnathan begins blowing into your mouth, his breath coming in fast bursts that help cool the food in your mouth.
he's so close to you and his touch is so gentle that you can't do anything but blink at him dreamily, watching as he cools the food in your mouth like it's nothing. a moment passes, and his blowing stops. "better?" johnathan questions, pulling back just enough to gauge your reaction.
you nod, slowly starting to chew the significantly less boiling hot noodles in your mouth. he smiles gently, and drops his hands from your face almost reluctantly—already he misses the warmth of your skin under his touch.
thankfully the rest of dinner goes smoothly, and you blow on every single bite loudly before attempting to put it past your lips—which has johnathan laughing in amusement, sometimes even joining in on cooling your food, which should not be so hot, but it is. you're almost tempted to burn your mouth again just so he will hold you and blow into your mouth once more.
you're not even surprised at how well you and johnathan vibe and communicate—somehow it just all makes sense, and that really doesn't help the crush you have for him. after finishing your two bowls of ramen and johnathan’s three, you both clean up, easy chatter flowing between you. it's refreshing, and feels so right—you almost forget that it's wrong. 
soon enough you find yourselves in his living space, sitting on the shaggy rug you claimed you needed to feel—your backs resting on the worn leather couch. you've got your knees bent towards your chest, balancing a wine glass between your two fingers and the top of your knee cap—looking over at johnathan as he laughs at the tail end of your story.
"okay wait," he smiles, eyes twinkling with the upmost amusement. "so your best friend just threw them on his lawn?" he questions, searching for confirmation that, yes, he did hear you correctly. he shifts, turning himself even further in your direction—so close that you can feel the heat of him against your side.
you nod, your own smile softly gracing your face. "yup, 20 boxes of instant mashed potatoes that turned into mush during the rainfall." he laughs once more, finding the story about your best friend and her revenge plan against her ex amusing.
"oh wow, remind me to never mess with her." johnathan teases, taking a sip of his mulberry wine. you follow suit, bringing the thin rim up to your lips and taking a gulp—the flavours spicing your tongue just the way you like. you've always had a hard time turning down wine, especially when a guy who looks like johnathan kovacevic is the one offering it. worse case, you'll just stay the night.
his eyes flicker with something you can't decipher, swallowing his sip of alcohol as he eyes you. "so what about you?"
you swallow, brows pulling in question. "what about me?"
"ever instant mash potato a guys lawn?" he asks with a tempting, playful smirk.
you laugh, placing your now empty wine glass on the rustic, chest style coffee table—the sound a gentle clink in the otherwise quiet apartment. you shake your head, "no, i'd be too scared of getting caught."
he purses his lips softly, brows coming together to create a small indent above his nose. johnathan hums quietly—the sound so charming you almost pass out. "I think you're braver than you think, y/n."
oh, you think—breath catching in your throat. johnathan’s eyes on you are too much, but somehow not enough. you can't decide where to look, your eyes darting all over his face to try and drink in as much of him as possible.
johnathan's breathing changes, his lungs working overtime like he can't quite catch his breath—the way you're looking at him having him feel nothing but breathless. his tongue swipes along his bottom lip, gaze finding your plump, wine stained lips.
he blinks, turning away to place his wineglass next to yours—there's a sip left in his, but he doesn't care to finish it. "you should probably go," johnathan mumbles, eyes finding your lips once more. "otherwise i'll end up doing something stupid like kissing you or..." he slowly trails off, taking a deep breath before he meets your wide, glossy eyes.
"or what?" you prompt, tone all hopeful and quiet.
johnathan hums deeply, the sound shooting signals straight down to your core—you clench your legs together to soothe the ache you've been feeling since you got here. he licks his lip again, slow and deliberate. "...or undressing you."
you almost whine—it's pathetic and johnathan finds it so unbelievably hot. you flush even deeper than the shade the wine has left you, and you slowly bring your lip into your mouth, nibbling on the edge. "maybe I want you to kiss me...and undress me."
he practically moans. "y/n...you can't say that unless you mean it." his words are almost like a warning—an out of the tension building between you. johnathan is giving you the opportunity to walk away, and not break the rules because of him—no matter how bad he wants you to. johnathan's fingers twitch as he desperately tries to keep to himself, watching you through half lidded eyes as he waits your response.
but you don't want an out—you want him. slowly, you shake your head, legs sliding down and away from your torso. the stretch is nice, but it does no favours for your throbbing core. "I wouldn't unless I did." you whisper, pushing up and onto your knees. gently, but confidently, you swing your leg over his lap and sit on him. johnathan's jaw goes slack, watching through his lustful gaze as you move.
he can't take it anymore—he needs to get his hands on you. johnathan's palms slide up the sides of your thighs, squeezing the flesh through your jeans. subconsciously you begin moving your hips, leisurely grinding your clothed core over his. your breath hitches, forehead resting against his. "I need you, johnny."
that's all it takes for johnathan to attach your lips together, kissing you like he's been wanting to since he first saw you. it's like your mouths are made for one another, perfectly moving and caressing and sliding around one another's like you've been doing it for years.
his hands slide to cup your ass, giving you a firm squeeze before he helps grind you over his clothed core—not once stopping the bruising, messy kiss you're engaged in. his lips feel so good it hurts, and if you were to die in that moment you wouldn't be upset. your hands card through his thick strands of hair, scratching his scalp in a way that his him sighing into your kiss.
suddenly, johnathan pulls away, leaving you to whine in disappointment. his glazed over eyes flicker open at the same time yours do—eyes locking. "i've been dreaming about this—about you." he says through heavy breathing, fingers flexing against your lower back.
"you have?" you ask through a moan, your covered clit perfectly sliding over his hardening length.
he nods, leaning in and pressing a hot kiss against your jawline. just when you think he'll stop, he moves farther down, littering kisses against the line of your jaw until he reaches your ear. "I want to please you." johnathan whispers before nipping at your lobe.
you sigh, pawing at the hem on his shirt. "please." you lift the item of clothing completely off, exposing the expanse of tan, defined muscles that you've only ever had glimpses of before this moment. you jaw goes slack, fingers absentmindedly racking down his pecks and abs. "oh my god, you're so hot."
he laughs once before kissing your lips firmly—a wordless thank you. johnathan's hands slip underneath your shirt, dragging it up and off your body like its second nature—leaving you in your polka dot bra. "shit, been dreaming of these too." he mutters, palming your tits. "you've been driving me crazy for weeks with these tits, baby."
all you can manage is a moan, hips moving on their own accord as you chase the tension building in your core. a whispered plea leaves you once again, and it has johnathan gripping your backside tightly and sifting you onto your back, skin melting into the soft, shaggy rug.
you exhale shakily, fingers fisting the carpet right next to your head as johnathan begins trailing kisses down your sternum, and further towards your belly button. "that feels good." you say, hips twitching under torso.
johnathan lifts his head, eyes twinkling with playfulness as he locks his gaze on your face. "can I taste you?" you nod eagerly, and his smirk shows once again—one of his hands fiddling with your button until it pops open. johnathan sits back on his heels, and you shiver at the lack of his body heat on top of you—but as he begins sliding your jeans down, exposing your damp paintes, you quickly forget about anything but that.
he shutters, licking along his lips as he locks in on your skimpy underwear. you bite onto your bottom lip, but your smirk isn't even hidden by that. "I need you so bad, johnny." the sight of your almost shy grin has him faltering, fingers itching to get you naked—and he does, hooking his fingers through your underwear and pulling them away from your wet core.
johnathan can't wait any longer, laying flat so his face is mere inches away from your throbbing pussy—licking his lips at the sight of your arousal pooling and slowly dripping onto his rug. "fuck, you're soaking wet for me, baby."
your hips jump upwards, desperate for some friction. you don't think you've ever been this turned on in your entire life, and for god sakes all you've done is a little amateur dry humping. johnathan's words further rile you up, and you can't help but whine out like a cat in heat.
"that noise," he breathes, spreading your legs even further apart with his large hands. "keep making it." johnathan doesn't give you a chance to answer before he's licking a firm strip up your folds, spreading your arousal with his tongue.
"oh...fuck." you curse, eyes fluttering with bliss and pleasure, johnathan repeating his movements in a lapid, expert manner. his long fingers flex on your thighs, digging into your flesh to continue holding you open—giving him the most range on pleasing you.
he sucks your clit into his mouth before swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud—a movement that has you approaching your peak quicker than expected. you breath hitches, nails digging into the rug. "oh, fuck i'm close."
johnathan moans against your clit before dipping back to your entrance, thrusting his tongue into your sopping hole—a squelching noise echoing through the room. he doesn't let up, and it has you reaching your peak, a frantic 'i'm cumming' leaving you in a hurry as your walls spasm on his tongue.
your ride our your orgasm while johnathan licks against your clit lazily, sending jitters through your body. it's ethereal, and so fucking good—you can't decide if you want to scream or sob. your eyes blink open, finding him hovering over you once more. "you okay?"
you hum blissfully, hands running over johnathan's arms and unapologetically squeezing and feeling his biceps. "better than okay." you watch him smirk briefly, his fingers tilting your chin up in an affectionate way before sliding back and caressing your jaw. and like the sex god he apparently is, his thumb parts your lips, rubbing along the surface before leaning in and kissing you.
you could be kissing for only 2 minutes, or it could be 20–time has completely slipped away from both you and johnathan as your lips move along one another. you can feel his hard length through his jeans, pressing against your thigh like a rock—you can also feel your own arousal building back up, dripping down your ass like you're some pornstar.
you disconnect your lips, pulling back just enough to talk. "I want you to fuck me." reaching towards his belt, you begin fiddling with the buckle, the metal clinking together as you unfasten it.
he kisses the corner of your mouth. "I must be dreaming."
you smile, tugging his zipper down. "you're not." johnathan assists you the rest of the way, briefly standing so he's able to completely rid of his jeans. just before he tugs his boxers down, he curses lightly—smile never wavering. "hold on, baby. need a condom."
you get the pleasure of watching him jog into his bathroom in the retrieval of protection—his ass looking mouthwatering under his fitted black briefs. without even thinking logically, your hands slide down your body until you're finding your wet folds, gathering your arousal and bringing it to your clit—circling the bundle slowly.
johnathan finds you like that, condom wrapper half torn in his hands. "you can't do that baby," he groans, "i'm already dying here."
you giggle, the sound broken by a moan at a powerful circle around yourself. your breath hitches, eyeing his almost completely naked body like you're an animal. "take your underwear off, johnny."
he's already in the process of removing the last article of clothing on himself as you ask, releasing his angry, heavy cock from the restraints of his briefs. the sight of him—the sheer size of him—has you gasping. johnathan drops back down between your legs, pulling the condom over his aching length.
you help guide him to your entrance, breathless as his tip brushes your slick folds. johnathan's eyes find yours, "you sure?"
too pent up to speak, you nod—eyes filled with nothing but need and aching, desperate to finally feel all of johnathan. and with that, he eases his entire length into you, stretching you perfectly—your walls molding around him like you're made for him. you let out a choked whine, watching his cock disappear into you. "oh fuck."
he bottoms out, balls resting against your ass—twitching as your gummy walls flutter over him. you can feel him in your stomach he's so deep and long—it feels like he's everywhere. "god, you feel so fucking good." johnathan babbles, already drunk on your pussy. he can't wait a moment longer, and begins thrusting, sliding in and out of your pussy easily due to your leaking arousal.
you're both so horny and worked up and only a few minutes of deep, passionate thrusts, messy kisses and hushed affirmations, that you're both growing close to your respective releases. you're whining like it's the only thing you know how to do, wrapping your thighs around johnathan's torso and he ruts into your hole—stabilizing yourself as best you can. it's a bit difficult when you feel like jello, but it's so good that you're not even caring.
"I can—oh fuck—can feel you fluttering baby, you gunna cum?" he breathes, the rhythm of his thrusts begin to falter as he nears his first orgasm of the evening. but he holds on, focusing on your spasming hole and pleasure pulled face.
you nod, jaw slack. "so close."
johnathan pushes even deeper into your pussy, which you didn’t think was possible, but he does it—tip kissing your cervix with every delicious rut into you. his hand finds yours, and he interlocks your fingers together—grounding not only himself but you to the moment.
"please don’t stop," you mewl desperately, grip tightening around his warm hand as you find the tipping point of your orgasm. "i'm cumming." and you do, walls clamping down on his cock as your reach another toe curling release.
johnathan's brows furrow in concentration as he focuses on your orgasming pussy, groaning as he thrusts into you three unrhythmic times. "holy shit, me too, fuck." his seed shoot into the latex, hot spurts of cum filling the condom wrapped around him.
you smile at the feeling, pressing a firm kiss against the front of johnathan's strong shoulder—nipping his skin with your teeth playfully.
he grins, still nestled in your warmth. "stay with me tonight."
you don't need to be asked twice, and soon enough you're being ushered into the spacious shower of johathan's apartment—the two of you washing one another in the most intimate, soft way. you're completely ruined for anyone else, and now you'll never be able to stay away from johnathan. the way he looks at you, dressing you in his clothes for bed while you're hair is still wet and face flushed—it's something you'll never forget.
you fuck again in bed, riding him slowly as breathy moans leave you both. you're not even fully naked this time, johnathan's college shirt pulled up and over your hips as he holds onto your love handles, helping you slide up and down his length. you both fall asleep in a breathless, tangled embrace—soft conversation and adorning smiles shared before you both let your eyes flutter closed.
part3: kiss it better
from that moment on you're pretty positive you're falling for johnathan kovacevic. the morning after your date, you both wake up frantically, afternoon practice sneaking up on you. just before you left, all tangled mess of hair and mascara stained eyes, johnathan grabbed your wrist gently, tugging you close to him. "can we do this again? I don't just mean the sex..I mean the dating and talking and everything in between."
to which you responded with, "yes please."
for the next few months you and johnathan find yourselves in a very secret relationship. you're going on dates late after games, lounging in his apartment or your apartment until you both fall asleep. hazelnut approves, and you think she likes your boyfriend more than she likes you. johnathan is always sending you flowers, and ordering you food when you're cranky—which obviously makes you emotional and clingy. you watch each other's favourite movies, and you're the queen of stealing his clothes. and oh my god the sex.
johnathan is like ridiculously good when it comes to pleasing you—kissing, sucking, licking and pounding all the right spots until you're on the verge of tears. sex with him is addicting, you don't think you had as much intercourse since like...ever—not even when you were a horny driven teenager.
johnathan will never get tired of your flushed skin and pulled face—jaw fallen slack while you whisper johnny over and over like a prayer. he is as obsessed with you as you are with him—if not more so. he's only had two serious girlfriends between meaningless hookups in his lifetime, and neither of them felt like this.
it has the both of you getting a little...risky, to say the least. your gazes linger on one another for just a second too long while you're at work, johnathan stands close while in huddles, and his fingers brush the back of your hand in passing almost every time—it's dangerous but neither of you can help it.
2 months into your forbidden romance, you're both dressing (in separate homes, unfortunately) for the new jersey devils charity gala—an event where everyone dressed in beautiful gowns and/or sharp suits to mingle, participate in raffles and raise money for charities.
johnathan was expecting you to look phenomenal based on the mere fact that you always do, but when you walked into the decorated rink, covered in a soft cream silk dress that dipped low down your back—leaving little to the imagination—he just about ripped it off you right in the middle of the bustling room.
you knew you were in trouble by the way your boyfriends gaze followed you throughout the first hour of the evening, tongue swiping his bottom lip or biting it in an attempt to not run over to you and destroy you. it also doesn't help that you want him to, god damn you feel like you're in heat looking at johnathan—standing with staff and teammates in a perfectly tailored suit, sipping some champagne like a slut.
so from across the room when he gestures for you to follow him, you listen easily. it's only a few antagonizing minutes later when your boyfriend is pulling you into a coat closet, lips finding yours instantly in a heated exchange.
"you look fucking edible." johnathan groans against your mouth, hands running over your body and squeezing your flesh through the silky dress. he nips at your jaw, igniting breathless laughter from your heaving chest.
you drag his face back to yours, pressing your lips to his once again. the kiss isn't only hot, but it's risky, especially in the closet that holds all the jackets and personable teams of team and staff members. but as johnathan drags your dress up one leg, slipping his hand underneath the cream silk—your mind goes blank. two long, strong fingers brush your exposed core, spreading the sticky wetness that's pooling between your folds.
he curses lowly, the tip of his middle finger prodding your entrance—but then, the door handle rattles, curtis lazar's voice growing louder as he begins opening the door. you and johnathan pull apart, jumping to opposite sides of the room and pretending to look busy—stifling through various coats and jackets.
thankfully, curtis saw nothing and is to aloof to the tension lingering between his teammate and assistant coach. from that moment, you and johnathan both know you need to get a grip, and if you're not careful, your reputation and relationship will be destroyed.
so with that in mind, you both make sure while you're at work, you're strangers. johnathan doesn't look at you, and you don't let your gaze linger on his. and this crisp tuesday evening, surrounded by thousands of fans packed into the prudential center, it'll be no different. you're his coach, and johnathan is strictly a player to you. period.
everything is normal—how it should be, really. well, everything expect the lingering turning in your stomach and heat warming your skin uncomfortably. you've not been feeling the best today, and there's been a constant queasy feeling in your belly since you got out of bed.
you've done your best to try and ignore it, brush it under the rug until it goes away—but it's proving to be persistent, and as the hours tick by your symptoms are getting worse. you know you probably should've called in, but you didn't—and now your feeling dizzy watching the players skate past the bench.
a deep exhale leaves your lungs, eyes darting to the foam covered floor beneath your feet. the crowd has your head pounding and ears ringing—this isn’t good. your stomach feels like a shaky roller coaster on the verge of turning upside down and ruining your day.
the lights are impossibly bright as you look back up, and that's when you know something is wrong. weakly and with dwindling vision, you shuffle closer to sheldon, subtly nudging his side. "I think i'm going to be sick."
his brows raise, turning his full attention to you—keeping his face neutral as to not raise suspicion. "you've been pale since you walked in here—please, go get checked out. i'm getting worried, and I don't need us to be distracted."
you attempt to laugh, but it comes across as a painfully hushed groan. sheldon gently guides you in the direction of the hallway, and into the arms of a medical staff member. after you tell ronald, said staff, what's going on he's shuffling you down the hall and to the direction of the medical room.
you don't make it inside before your knees give out, falling to the floor as you go unconscious.
johnathan skates back to his bench after a 1:30 shift, chest heaving as he desperately fights for air. he throws one gangly leg over the boards, followed by the other—but he freezes as he notices you're no longer present.
his brows furrow in a mixture of confusion and worry. you were there when he left the bench, and you seemed fine—a little pale and quiet but still ordering the team around like the confident, sexy woman you are. but now you're missing. johnathan tries not to show emotion on his face, but he can't help but to look over his shoulder every few minutes to see if you've returned.
by the time first intermission begins, you're still nowhere in sight. johnathan is glad nico brings attention to your sudden absence after keefe's speech, because johnathan is dying and anxious about not knowing your whereabouts.
"coach y/l/n left to get checked out by medical because she wasn't feeling good. i'm not sure of her condition but I understand she will not be coming back tonight."
sheldon's words have johnathan's stomach dropping down to his ass. before he has to head back out to the ice, he shoots you a quick text—letting you know that he'll be at yours after the game.
the rest of the game goes by in a flurry of anxious waves and painfully slow minutes. he can't get out of his gear quick enough, speeding through a shower so he's able to quicker get on the road—get home to his girl.
johnathan definitely breaks a few laws on the way to your place, but he can't help it—he knows nothing about your state, only the brief text of acknowledgment you sent him in response, and he’s started to get really fucking worried.
the doors unlocked, and johnathan kicks his dress shoes off beside one of hazelnuts feathery toys, walking into your silent apartment. he finds you on the couch, still in your work clothes. the door shutting had your eyes blinking open, vision slowly focusing just as your boyfriend kneels in front of you.
"hey baby," he mumbles, running his hands over your sweaty forehead. "what's wrong my girl?" his eyes flicker over your dewy, pale skin, a frown pulling on his face at the sight of your obvious discomfort and exhaustion.
your cat perks up at the sound of his voice, and immediately jumps off the back of the couch to run against johnathan's legs. you pout, "i've been feeling sick all day, and it just got worse. I didn't even make it to the medical room before passing out, johnny." tears begin gathering in your eyes, making clear vision even more impossible—you feel awful. "it was really scary."
instantly he's leaning down to kiss your head. "i'm sorry baby. did they give you some meds?" he asks against your hair.
you hum—the sound strained. "yeah. they're making me tired."
he fusses over you for a few moments longer, pressing comforting kisses to your damp face—but he doesn't want you to be in uncomfortable clothes for any longer. johnathan strips you of your clothes and quickly changes you into your favourite sweats before slipping behind you on the couch—pulling you into his chest.
you're kind of out of it and all you can really register is your boyfriends dark button up under your cheek, his hand rubbing your back and the sound of sex and the city playing from your tv. it's so numbing and relaxing that it quickly has you falling back to sleep, soft snores passing through your dry lips.
you wake up the next morning in your bed, eyes slowly focusing as you catch the sight of johnathan pulling his suit pants back on in your bedroom—the morning sun streaming the the cracks of your curtains.
"hey," you start, voice croaky. "what's going on?"
your boyfriend whips around in your direction, shoving one arm through his dress shirt. "hey, sorry I didn't want to wake you up." he rounds the mess of blankets half off the bed, kissing your head. "how was your sleep?"
"I don't even remember you getting here yesterday." you admit sheepishly, rubbing the sleep out of your eye. "I was so fucked up, god."
"it's okay," johnathan reassures you sweetly, buttoning up his shirt. "you really had me worried—you looked so sick."
you cough, a sickly dry sound that is a rough reminder of the illness lingering your body. but as you eye your boyfriend, seemingly getting ready for morning practice, has all thoughts of sickness leaving you—replaced with panic. "oh my god, i'm going to be late for practice."
you try and get out of bed, but johnathan is quicker—gently pushing you back to the pillows. "you're not going—I dealt with it all through your phone, okay. and I must say, keefe was rather relieved that you're taking the day."
"oh," you hum with a small grin, body naturally melting into your bed. "okay. you going now?"
johnathan nods. "yeah. gotta stop at home and change quick, but i'll be back later." he tosses last nights suit jacket over his shoulder, "need anything brought back?"
you smile, "just you."
he smirks all slow and syrupy down at you, cupping your cheek with his warm palm. "okay baby—can I have a kiss?"
you slap your hand over your lips—which are rather crusty and has you cringing. "I don't want to get you sick." you say, words muffled against your palm.
johnathan brows pull tightly, his smirk not letting up. "I don't care baby." his words have you faltering, dropping your hand and puckering your mouth for a kiss—which he happily obliges in giving you.
later while he's getting changed, pulling his shin pads on, he hears jack asks about your whereabouts beside him. johnathan isn't sure if he's just speaking out loud, or asking him directly—but he turns his full attention to the middle hughes brother. "she called in sick today."
jack kind of makes a curious face, one that says and how would you know that?
and the following day when johnathan doesn't come to the rink because he's sick...jack has the smallest inkling that he may know why the defence man knew about you're whereabouts.
part4: you’re made for me
you think your least favourite part about being on the road is the lonely feeling you get lying in an empty hotel room—left with only your thoughts and the hum of the heating unit.
it doesn't help that johnathan is in the same hotel…on the floor below you, and you can't even see him. you're not long back from the game, a win nonetheless, and the vegas night life is still buzzing in the street below. you knew some of the guys would be heading out for a few hours to enjoy the casinos—but you heard your boyfriend decline curtis' invitation.
so you know he's in his room—but wether his roommate is with him is unbeknownst to you. you miss him, and are in desperate need of hearing his voice. you hum, grabbing your phone off the charger beside you—thumbing your screen until his contact comes up.
you've got him saved under the soccer ball emoji—ever since you two started getting serious, you knew that having johnathan saved as his name was risky, especially when he had a habit of sending you toe-curling texts. and the same goes for your name on his phone, and instead of the previous use of your full name, he's replaced it with the name of your favourite tv show character.
hey, you send. are you alone?
a beat passes and then your phone begins to ring, the soccer ball emoji filling your screen as johnathan calls you. your grin, biting your lip as you slide over the answer button.
you lift your phone to your ear, excitement bubbling and settling deep in your belly.
"i'm alone." johnathan answers lowly, the slow smirk evident through his voice.
you sigh softly. "didn't want to go out tonight? celebrate the win? mr. two point night." your voice is playful, and kind of sexy—it has him already palming himself through his sweatpants.
a low groan leaves him, the sound leaving you flushed in the other line. you already can tell the turn this conversation is going to take, and you're not opposed to it one bit. he laughs, the sound doing a million things to you and your needy clit. "got those points for you, baby."
"whatever," you grin, hand slipping under your loose pyjamas shirt, resting on your lower belly—absentmindedly tickling just below your belly button.
"you okay?" this question is more serious, because above all else, johnathan cares for you, and if you're texting him, he wants to make sure nothing is wrong before he asks to see your boobs like a schoolboy.
you nod, and then remember he can't see you. "yeah, just miss you." you admit shamelessly, fingers dipping below the band of your sleep shorts. your breath hitches as the pads of your fingers brush over your folds, slipping through the wet mess that's been building since you picked up the phone.
the sound has johnathan groaning again, his own hand slipping under his sweatpants and finding his now rock hard and aching cock. he’s been thinking about this moment since he say your game day skirt—hugging your ass delightfully. he squeezes the base, igniting another strangled moan from his chest. "yeah?"
you hum lowly, teasing your entrance with your middle finger before trailing back to your bundle of nerves, circling yourself slowly. "I wish you were here."
a small curse leaves his lips. "what would you want me to do...if I was in your room right now?" johnathan questions, his large hand sliding up the entirety of his length, fisting the tip three times before coming back down to the base.
you inhale sharply, but you're breathless regardless. your thighs tighten around your slow moving hand, trapping yourself—your body reacting to your boyfriends words instinctively and leaving you overwhelmed already.
"don't be shy," he grins, squeezing himself. "i'm so fucking hard, baby—your voice is so sexy."
you whine helplessly, johnathan’s words pushing you into a flaming pit of lava—igniting your body in molten flames. "I'd want you to tease me, run your fingers over my soaked shorts until i'm begging you for more." you admit, cheeks flushing even deeper at your dirty words.
there's something so weird about phone sex, but with johnathan's breathing against your ear, and the throbbing between your legs, you're starting to feel very different about the idea. it’s exciting and so fucking hot—mostly because of your sexy boyfriend on the other line, prompting you.
he curses, pulling himself out of his sweatpants so that his cock is standing fully erect. he hisses at the air touching his sensitive skin, running the pad of his thumb over his leaking slit. "holy—fuck me—and then what baby?
"and then..." your breath hitches as you slip your middle finger into your wet entrance, your throbbing pussy sucking you in, down to your knuckle. "then i'd take you out of your pants, and lick up your shaft—slowly—before sucking the head of your cock just the way you like."
"i'm gunna facetime you, okay?"
your stomach drops in excitement. "okay." you slip out of yourself before completely removing your shorts, just as the incoming facetime lights up your phone. you answer it giddy, gnawing on your lip as johnathan's face fills your screen.
he smirks, eyeing your plump pink lips and rosy cheeks—the lust clear in your gaze. "you look so fucking pretty."
your smile grows, and even the way your teeth enclose around your bottom lip can't hide the fact. "johnny," you hum slowly, legs falling open to reveal your core to the empty hotel room. "I need to cum so bad."
he licks along his bottom lip. "set the phone up so I can see."
your vagina throbs pathetically, grabbing a pillow before leaning forward and resting your phone against it—the angle giving johnathan the perfect view of your glistening pussy, the outline of your perky nipples under your shirt and flushed face. he groans, stroking himself as he gets off the bed and moves towards the desk.
johnathan props his phone against the lamp, angling the camera so you're able to see his cock. "slip your pretty fingers in that pussy, baby. wanna see you fuck yourself like I would."
he watches your chest heave as you attempt to catch your breath, hand slipping down your covered stomach and back down through your soaking folds. with a moan, you ease your middle finger and ring finger in your entrance.
"fuck." you whine, head falling back as you begin moving your fingers shallowly, not quite thrusting into yourself, but not staying still either. the perfect amount of stimulation that has your toes curling.
johnathan's jaw goes slack at the sight of you and your hand—a ring of creamy arousal pooling at the base of your knuckles before dripping onto the bed. it's embarrassing how close he is to cumming, fucking his hand while he pretends it's your gooey walls enveloping him instead. "that feel good?" he asks, voice husky. "you're so sexy."
you lift your head, lips parted as breathless sighs leave you. "feels good—wish it was your fingers." a high-pitched whine bubbles from your throat, the palm of your hand rubbing against your clit perfectly. through lidded eyes, you watch johnathan. his abs clench as he fists himself, the smallest drop of pre-cum trialing down the underside of his delicious cock.
you gasp, orgasm hitting you in a white hot surprise, leaving you fluttering around your hand as your release drips off your fingers.
the sight has johnathan following suit, ropes of hot cum shooting from his head as his eyes train on your fluttering pussy and blissed out face.
a beat passes, both of your still working on coming down from your high and catching your breath. johnathan smirks all lazily at you through the screen. "I'm gonna fuck you so good once we get home, yeah?"
his promise has your core jumping all over again, and if johnathan has to fist his hand once more in the shower before bed—that's nobodies business expect yours (because obviously he sends you videos on snapchat).
thankfully the road trip is only two more days, and you get your hands on your boyfriend as soon as you're back in the enclosed walls of his apartment.
a few weeks pass since then, a whirlwind of games and practices that leave you holding your breath and clenching your thighs—you'll never get over how handsome johnathan looks all sweaty and damp, and it never fails in sending butterflies straight down to your pussy.
it seems like weeks until you get a free evening, but eventually it comes, and you take the opportunity for an at home date night—realistically the only ones you can have. johnathan cooks you mouthwatering pasta, and you get to watch him work over the stove from the kitchen island—checking out his back muscles over the rim of your wine glass.
anytime he catches you doing so, he pauses to lean over the island and give you a heart stopping kiss. it's romantic, and you think you may love him.
you eat your food next to one another on the couch, your feet tucked under his thigh while you watch she's all that. johnathan is the kind of boyfriend you dreamed of having since you were little—kind, compassionate, sexy, funny and a little awkward (plus a sex god, but 6 year old didn't know about that).
soon enough your empty bowls are abandoned, and you’re on his lap while your mouths move together. just before anything starts to escalate—johnathan's hands fiddling with your bra—a knock on the door pulls you apart.
"kovy?" an all too familiar voice calls on the other side of the door. "we know you're home. saw your car." we? as in plural? as in there's multiple of his teammates on the other side of the door?
you go stiff on johnathan's lap. "is that curtis?" you question wildly, words barley above a whisper.
he squeezes the flesh of your hips, nodding once. "and brett and erik." johnathan admits through his teeth. "i forgot they wanted me to come out tonight—someone's birthday."
one of them knocks again. "open up you little shit." the voice who sounds like brett laughs, sounding already a few drinks in.
"oh my god," you hiss, getting off johnathan's lap, pulling your discarded hoodie over your head. "oh my fucking god."
johnathan moves quickly, taking your empty bowls to the sink. "one second!" he calls in their direction, running a hand through his messy hair after wetting the dishes.
"are you fucking naked or something?" erik questions, leaning against the wall with an amused expression.
you hear curtis snicker. "he's probably jerking off."
your boyfriend looks at you, eyes full of guilt. "i'm so sorry baby, I totally forgot." he grabs your arms firmly, keeping your attention on him. "i'll get rid of them, okay? I promise."
you look almost scared—blinking up at him like everything is falling apart before your eyes. after all, you're a door away from being caught. "okay."
he nods, kissing the side of your pouting lips before guiding you to his bedroom. "just stay in here, okay? and if you hear me say watermelon, jump into the closet."
if you weren't so anxious you'd probably laugh. but obviously you don't laugh, sitting on the soft mattress as johnathan gives you one more hurried look, shutting his bedroom door with a soft click.
he quickly makes his way to the front door, pulling it open to reveal his three teammates—all of them with splitting grins on their faces. "we've been texting you, man! you forget about us?" brett grins, slapping johnathan's shoulder as the three of them walk into his apartment.
he chuckles awkwardly. "yeah, sorry—meant to text you but i'm not feeling up to going out tonight."
"boooooo," curtis drags out loudly, spinning on one of the bar stools like it's a carnival ride. "boring."
erik picks up the wine glass you left on the coffee table, a visible print of lipgloss on the rim. "you got a girl here, johnny?"
"no." he says all too quickly, face pale and red all at once. "I mean, not anymore. she left."
brett smirks, grabbing the glass out of erik's grip. he inspects the mark closer, that shit eating grin never leaving his face. "you know who wears lipgloss like this? coach y/l/n."
on the other side of the bedroom door, you feel like you're going to faint. you press your ear further against the wood, listening in.
the barstool squeaks under curtis' weight, a mixture of a disgruntled groan and laugh leaving him. "why do you know what kind of lipstick our coach wears? fucking weirdo." much to johnathan's delight, curtis' response has all three boys moving on from the marking on the wine glass. which, thank god because he had no clue how to respond to that observation.
erik eyes the ending scene of she's all that, a knowing grin on his face. "so if she's gone, you're gunna come out with us, right?"
"not really feeling it." johnathan reiterates with a shrug, subtly grabbing your keys off the counter and tucking them into his pocket.
brett groans like a naughty kid, sluggishly making his way back to the door. "fine—we'll let you beat off in peace." the other two follow suit, sending johnathan snarky little grins as they leave.
he rolls his eyes, a tiny grin pulling at his lips. "whatever—have fun." as soon as johnathan can't hear his teammates loud voices anymore, he's shutting the door and flicking the lock. he bounds back to the bedroom, and you pull open the threshold before he has the chance—your eyes wide with unshed emotion and stress.
it has johnathan feeling nothing but guilt, and he wastes no time wrapping you in his arms. "are you okay?"
you nod, but then stop. "no. I thought we were fucked—especially with the lipgloss, oh my god johnny."
he kisses your head three times, each one longer than the last. you sigh into him, letting johnathan hold you like the delicate flower you feel you are in that moment.
you hate this feeling—because secretive behaviour makes you feel dirty. and with the secret you're keeping, you're much more than just dirty. you're breaking the rules, and risking not only your job, but johnathan's. the last thing you want to do is ruin his reputation—you fucking love him for fucks sake.
it’s not even about you anymore. because for him, you’d leave everything if it meant being with him. but you know johnathan, and he would never let you give up your job for him—ever. but you can’t keep going around like this, it’s running you.
you pull back, swallowing roughly as you drop your arms from around his waist. “we can’t do this anymore.”
he freezes. “what do you mean? can’t do what?”
you blink. “johnny…” your voice is laced with a knowing edge, because you know johnathan knows exactly what you mean—you can see it on his face. you look away, as you can’t bare to look at him any longer, it may kill you otherwise. “if we keep sneaking around, it’s going to end badly—it almost blew up in our face tonight.”
his brows furrow, cupping your face firmly so that you have no choice but to look into those eyes you love so much. “but I didn’t-It won’t if we do this right.” a rough swallow makes his adam’s apple jump, looking over your face like he can’t decide where to go. “tell me what I can do to change your mind.”
a tear falls down the round of your cheek, and the sight stabs him right in the chest. you shake your head, licking the salty water off your cupids bow. “I just…I think we need to stop.”
his hands fall from your face, and he runs them through his hair—pulling at his root until it hurts. johnathan respects you, and he loves you—even if he thinks you don’t love him in this moment. he will fulfill any wish you ask of him, and he’d do it with a smile, because you’re the most important thing in the world. so he nods firmly. “okay. if you want to stop, we’ll stop. I don’t care what’s happening. all I care about is you.”
you nod—too many emotions lodged in your throat to speak. johnathan reluctantly hands you your keys, your fluffy keychain tickling his skin for the last time. you pluck your purse that’s wedged between the pillow and side of the couch, slinging it over your shoulder before making your way to the door, leaving without another look in johnathan kovacevic’s direction.
part5: love looks pretty on you
as soon as you get back to your place you break down in embarrassing sobs—falling onto the couch while hazelnut licks your chin. although you think she just likes the taste of your tears, rather than it being a comforting thing, but you pretend it’s the latter.
as much as it hurts you and you regret it, you know breaking things off with johnathan was the right choice. you don’t want to burden him, or hold him back—you can’t be that girl. so as much as you want to call him and tell him you’ve changed your mind, you don’t. it’s for the better, even if you have a hard time believing it right now.
the next week is nothing short of painful. you can feel johnathan’s eyes on you constantly, but you’re strong in ignoring him—going about your drills like he’s just another face in the crowd. if keefe notices something is up with you, he doesn’t say anything. which honestly seems worse than if he was to ask.
johnathan is no better. he’s slacking on the ice, and it’s showing even during practice—slow and uncertain and clearly distracted. he can’t stop thinking about you, or looking at you. johnathan cant help but think about all the things he wish he said to you, before you ended it.
how he’ll always care for you. how he’d quit hockey for you if that’s what you wanted. how he’s never felt about someone the way he feels for you. that he loves you.
it’s lonely without you. he misses your laugh and your smile and the way you kiss his peck every morning when you wake up. johnathan even misses hazelnut and her persistent chirping.
he so desperately wants to get you back. show up on your doorstep with flowers and a speech that would probably make you cry. but he doesn’t do that—because it would go against your wishes, and break whatever trust you put in him. it’s killing him, and he can only hope you’re happy.
you’re lingering with the uneasy feelings that come with a loss, tossing your purse on the counter before kicking off your heels. although the loss was a team issue, you can’t help but remember how johnathan was -5 tonight, and how exhausted and defeated he looked the entire game.
you can’t help but speculate—scratch that, there’s no speculation. you know it’s because of your breakup, and that makes you feel really shitty. if it’s still affecting him this much, hell if its still affecting you this much, you can’t help but think it was the wrong choice to make.
months of a healthy relationship down the drain for…what? because you were scared? that’s not you. johnathan brought out the best in you, he listened and cared for you like nobody before. in jersey, you’re alone. no friends or family close by to talk to or spend time with, only hazelnut. but with johnathan you had family. and you fucking threw it away.
your eyes flicker to the clock on the microwave. it’s almost midnight. you take your bottom lip between your teeth, contemplating your next actions. are you really about to do this? show up to your exs door and what? apologize? beg for him back?
you don’t know. but you know you love him, and you think letting him go forever will be the worse decision of your life.
coaching is a dream job. working with athletes in such an authoritative manner is a dream—it was your dream. but you have a new dream, and his name is johnathan. and if there’s one thing you’ve always lived by, it’s that to never give up on your dreams, especially for someone else. but that’s not what you’re doing—your dream has shifted, and you’re following its path in hopes of fulfillment.
before you can talk yourself out of it, you’re slipping on the first pair of shoes you see—a pair of heart print sandals that aren’t appropriate for the spring chill. you grab your keys and nothing else, getting into your car and following the familiar route to johnathan’s apartment.
the doorman recognizes you by now, and he lets you in with a smile. you’re anxious on the way up the elevator, a million things to say running through your mind—but as the doors open on johnathan’s floor, your head goes blank.
you force yourself to knock, a quiet sound that is barley heard from the bedroom at the back of the apartment…but johnathan hears it. he trudges over to the front door, nothing but a black hoodie and his boxers on.
as soon as the door is pulled open, revealing you in summer shoes and your game day pant suit from the game, johnathan is exhaling lowly. his eyes dart around your face, analyzing you. “you okay?”
your stomach clenches. he’s so fucking caring. “you’re my dream, johnny.” you blurt out, definitely too loud for this time of night.
his brows furrow, like he’s not sure what you mean. and fair enough, you think, because what does that mean? you continue shakily, “I love you. so much that it actually hurts. I would give up everything if it meant being with you forever—and I know you’d never let me, because you care about me and my dream. that’s why I ended things, as stupid as that sounds, because I didn’t want to put you in that situation. I didn’t want you doing something crazy like requesting a trade or fucking retiring early so that I could work for the team—because I knew you would do it.”
you swallow, but your mouth is so dry it almost hurts. “but you’re not going to let me forget about my dream, johnny—because you are my new dream. and if you love me, you’ll let me live with my new dream. being with you is all I need.”
johnathan shakes his head in amused disbelief, the faintest grin tugging at his mouth. “c’mere.” he mumbles, fingers wrapping around your wrist and pulling you into his apartment—only lit up by the lamp next to the tv. “you love me?” he asks, fingers leaving your wrist in favour of tucking some loose hair behind your ear—the strands that have escaped your once tight braid.
you nod all too quickly, “so much. i’m sorry.”
johnathan’s smile deepens, cupping your face like he’s done hundreds of times. “it’s okay, baby. I don’t care that you ended things with me—well, yes I care because I love you too—but if that’s what you needed in that moment, I would give it to you over and over again. even if it killed me.” he wets his bottom lip, looking deep into your watery eyes. “are you sure?”
there’s not hesitation in your words—there never has been with johnathan. “positive.” you nuzzle into his palm, “I love you so much.”
he leans in close, lips brushing yours. “I love you.”
and as he leans in and kisses you, you know that everything will work itself out. you’re not worried about the outcome, or what the future holds for your position with the team, but as long as you have johnny to come home to—it doesn’t matter.
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
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palmtreesx3 · 2 months ago
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Burning Through the Pages
Summary: Steve Harrington never planned to be a college professor, but somehow, a decade after Hawkins, he’s got tenure, too many girls in the front row, and a well-worn reputation as the guy everyone secretly signs up for. He’s charming, infuriating, and cruising comfortably through faculty meetings—until you show up. The newest hire in the Education Department. Sharp-tongued, no-nonsense, and utterly unimpressed by his smirk It’s enemies to lovers. It’s “fuck you” with feeling. It’s hot copy rooms, faculty fanfic, and a battle of wills that leaves them both undone.
Warnings: Eventual explicit smut (f/m), delayed gratification, academic banter-as-foreplay, enemies-to-lovers slow burn, emotionally repressed idiots, hallway tension, power dynamics (equal, but charged), inappropriate office behavior, emotionally competent aftercare.
Read the Epilogue Here || Read the Bonus Content Here
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Steve Harrington rounds the corner of McKinley Hall, leather satchel slung over one shoulder, sunglasses low on his nose. His button-down is rolled at the sleeves, collar popped just enough to look like he didn’t try too hard. 
He did. He always does.
Late morning light filters through the leaves, the kind of golden glow that makes the whole campus look like a catalog. A breeze kicks up, ruffling his hair just right—effortless, even though he’d spent seven minutes with a pomade wand this morning trying to tame the one curl that always flips too high.
Girls—and guys—part like the Red Sea when he walks through the quad. Whispers trail him like perfume.
“He’s even hotter this semester.” “Do you think he has a TA? I would literally die to grade for him.” “He wore glasses last week. Glasses. Like, please, sir, ruin me and my GPA.”
He hears every word. Doesn't acknowledge a single one.
Steve smirks but keeps walking. He doesn’t look back. He never looks back. He doesn’t need to.
What started as a happy accident—subbing in for a tenured psych professor on sabbatical—turned into tenure-track real quick once the department clocked his “natural rapport with students.” Which is code, apparently, for hot and somehow competent.
He loves it. Not the attention, per se. (Okay, yes the attention.) But the rhythm of it. The power of it. The control. 
He hits the steps of the faculty building, adjusting his collar, when it happens.
You.
You walk by, nose buried in a manila folder thick with class rosters, syllabi, and a color-coded planner peeking out from between pages. Coffee in hand, the kind of cup that’s been through war—stickers, Sharpie scribbles, a small scratch near the lid like it survived a desk drop. Your cardigan sleeves are shoved to your elbows, revealing ink-stained fingers and a glimpse of a tattoo along your forarm—one of those dainty ones, maybe a phrase or constellation, hard to tell from this angle.
You're muttering to yourself like you're the only one on the planet. Something about “course shells not loading” and “students emailing at 2 a.m.” Your brow is furrowed in a way that says no time for bullshit and your shoes? Comfy. Practical. Still somehow hot.
You don’t even look at him.
Steve stops mid-step.
Your lanyard swings on your neck. A new one. Still stiff and shiny. “Faculty.”
 New hire, he thinks. Probably from the Education Department. Probably earnest. Probably tired.
But then you unlock a door.
And the office it reveals?
The office is a whole goddamn vibe.
The inside glows warm like a hidden reading nook in a secret corner of a vintage bookstore. There are tiny string lights looped around a cork board. A woven throw blanket draped over the arm of a loveseat. A bookshelf with color-coded spines and one leaning stack of children's books, The Velveteen Rabbit, The Napping House, and something with a cracked spine that looks like it’s been read fifty times. There’s a lava lamp. A basket of granola bars with a handwritten note:
“Take one if your brain feels like mashed potatoes.”
A candle flickers on a high shelf. (Technically against fire code. Bold.) And music —faint music—spills into the hallway as you shut the door behind you.
Steve blinks.
 Great. Someone with taste, and clearly not here to fuck around.
He lingers a second too long outside your door. The air smells like bergamot and cedar. And maybe a little vanilla. He rubs the back of his neck. Mutters something about caffeine. Heads to the lounge.
And just like that, the campus heartthrob feels—off-center.
---
The folder in your arms is a chaotic stack of color-coded syllabi, annotated department memos, a crumpled sticky note that just says “DO NOT trust Chad in IT,” and a worn planner threatening to burst at the binding. The corner keeps jabbing you in the ribcage as you try to sip your lukewarm coffee without sloshing it on your sweater.
You're muttering to yourself. Not softly. 
“If one more Canvas shell ‘accidentally’ deletes itself I’m going to throw my laptop into the koi pond.”  
“Why are students already asking about extra credit? The semester started yesterday.”
You pass clusters of students lounging in the sun, glowing with unearned optimism and oat milk lattes. A few wave at you—the “cool new prof” buzz is starting to catch on, but mostly, you’re flying under the radar. 
You're almost at your office when the air shifts.
It’s subtle. A flicker. Like walking through a sudden sunbeam. You don’t see him at first, just feel the collective ripple across the quad. The tilt of heads. The hush of whispers. That specific brand of breathless energy reserved for only two things on campus: free pizza and someone hot enough to melt a MacBook.
You glance up, and there he is. Professor Steve Harrington. Tenure-track. Psychology. 
 Known around campus as “Professor Panty Dropper,” though you would never say that out loud.
He’s walking across the quad like a Calvin Klein ad and a back-to-school sale had a baby. Aviators, rolled sleeves, that stupid little smirk that says he’s fully aware of every pair of eyes tracking him like a migrating sun god.
And not just students. The woman from HR tripped over her stapler when he leaned across the printer last week.
He’s the kind of handsome that should come with a warning label. Probably smug. Probably has a signature cologne. Probably thinks the faculty lounge is his runway.
You… do not have time for that.
Your office is around the corner and the door sticks unless you hip-check it just right. You bump it open, nudging in backward with your shoulder, coffee still miraculously upright. A breeze chases in behind you, lifting the edge of your curtain.
Inside, it smells like cedar, lemon balm, and ambition.
Fairy lights blink to life as the door swings shut behind you. You toss the folder onto your couch, tap your Bluetooth speaker, something alt rock humming low, and breathe in your space.
It’s small, but alive. There’s personality here. A lava lamp burbles on the corner shelf. Your bookshelf is stacked with children’s lit and theory texts, paperbacks and worn journals. One shelf is dedicated entirely to tiny thrift store figurines of frogs and foxes. You tell people it’s a mindfulness collection. Really, they just make you happy.
You light your “cozy stormy evening” candle (yes, it has a crackling wick, yes, it’s against code, no, you don’t care).
And then for a split second you feel it. A presence outside your door. Lingering. You don’t have to look.
It’s him.
Because of course the campus Adonis can’t resist curiosity. But you don’t give him the satisfaction. You let the door click shut.  Let him wonder.  Let the song with the wicked guitar riff keep playing. You kick off your shoes, settle into your chair, and smirk to yourself. “Heartthrob Harrington, huh? Cute.”
But you?  You’ve got lessons to write, freshmen to wrangle, and a strict no-fraternization policy—with your dignity.…Probably.
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Later that week, you find yourself in the faculty lounge mid-morning, between classes. It smells like burnt coffee and academic disillusionment. Beige walls. Beige chairs. Beige energy. A sad vending machine hums in the corner like it’s dying slowly.
Steve pushes open the door to the lounge, a half-empty mug in one hand and the confident slouch of a man who never brings his own lunch. He’s already mid-text with his TA (who's begging to switch to online office hours again—coward), when he hears a laugh.
Not a polite laugh. Not a forced, colleague laugh.
A real one. Low, warm. Kind of musical.
You're standing at the coffee counter, staring down the sad excuse for a Keurig like it's personally offended you. Your sleeves are rolled, again. That same pen is tucked behind your ear. There's a new pin on your cardigan that says “Born to teach, forced to grade” 
He smirks. Leans against the counter next to you. “You know the coffee’s been dead since 2012, right?”
You don’t flinch. Don’t giggle. Don’t even glance at him right away. Instead, you casually add a comical amount of powdered creamer to the cup. “Cool. I’ll embalm it, then drink it out of spite.”
He blinks.
You finally look up and your eyes don’t do that thing. That thing where they go wide and starstruck and thirsty. You clock him like he’s just… there. Present. Human. In your peripheral.
“You’re the psych guy, right? Harrington?”
He straightens a little. Not because he's flustered. (Okay. A little flustered.)
“Steve. Yeah.”
“Right.” You stir your disaster coffee. “I’m…New this semester. Education.” 
You extend your hand and introduce yourself. Firm shake. Cool fingers.
“Nice to meet you, Steve.”
Not Professor Harrington. Not Oh my god, I’ve heard so much about you! Just Steve. Like he’s some adjunct in khakis and a lanyard, not the main character in every psych major’s late-night fantasy.
He watches as you lean on the counter, sipping your tragic little drink like it’s the elixir of life.
“So,” you add, eyeing him over the rim. “You always get followed by an entourage of undergrads, or is that a syllabus week thing?”
And god help him, he laughs. Actually laughs. Caught. Red-handed. Ego dented.
“It’s… a thing,” he admits. “I try not to encourage it.”
“Mm.” You raise a brow. “Try harder.”
---
You don’t mean to enjoy the way his jaw ticks when you say that.
Okay, you do.
You knew who he was, obviously. The moment you walked onto campus, students were whispering about him like he was a myth. Like he wasn’t just a thirty-something in tailored pants that were just snug enough you hesitated to question their appropriateness. With movie star hair and the smuggest dimples you’ve ever seen.
But now, standing next to him in this godforsaken excuse for a lounge, you realize something: he doesn’t know what to do with you. You’re not impressed. You’re not intimidated. And worst of all? You see right through him.
So you smile - slow, lazy, like you’ve got nowhere to be and all the time in the world to keep him guessing.
“Well,” you say, rinsing out your cup, “enjoy the groupies, Harrington. Try not to break too many hearts this semester.”
You turn to leave. Toss a wink over your shoulder. “And don’t steal my granola bars. I count them.”
He watches you go like he’s not entirely sure what just happened. You don’t even look back. You never look back. You don’t need to.
He stands there in silence for a few seconds, a little dumbfounded. Shit.
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This particular Wednesday afternoon, the Campus Center conference room is packed to the gills with first-years. You’ve been “voluntold” to join a faculty mentorship panel and of course Steve’s on the panel too. He agreed because he thought it would be low stakes and high praise.
And as he will quickly find out, it is neither.
Steve drops into the conference room chair with the casual flair of a man who fully expected to be the most interesting person here. His name card is perfectly angled. His shirt fits just right. He consciously buttoned up his shirt one more than usual, for the freshman’s sake. He plants one ankle over his knee. Casual but composed. His smile’s already dialed in at 65% charm, 25% intellect, 10% effortless heat.
He’s ready.
He’s got a few solid anecdotes locked and loaded about student success, mindfulness, and how office hours are important but boundaries are sexy—he means, necessary. A story about a kid who discovered cognitive psychology through a breakup. A bonus quip about coffee dependency, if it feels right.
This is his arena.
Then you walk in.
Late—but not flustered. Smirking like you already know you’re going to own the room. You’ve got a legal pad under one arm and a novelty cup that reads “This Might Be Wine” in sparkly font. Your hair’s up, barely, in one of those messy knots that looks like it took three seconds and still somehow makes you look put together. Your cardigan sways when you move, and you’re wearing those little earrings again—pencils today. Last time? Moons.
You greet the moderator by name. Thank the admin. You nod at Steve like he’s a familiar bench on a walking trail—recognizable, comfortable, unremarkable.
And then—you sit next to him. Of course you do.
Your knee bumps his under the table. You don’t pull back. He doesn’t breathe.
“Just so I’m clear,” you murmur, eyes on the moderator, voice honey-smooth, “this is the part where we all pretend we have our shit together, right?”
He glances at you. You don’t look back.
“Speak for yourself,” he says, smile sharp.
“Oh, I am.” You sip your coffee. Cross your legs. Settle in like you own the goddamn floor.
The panel starts. It’s a blur of pleasantries and awkward icebreakers. Steve’s distracted. Normally, he loves this shit—being asked for advice, watching students lean in when he drops something inspirational, tossing in the occasional wink that leaves half the back row short-circuiting.
But today? Today, he’s watching you.
You field the first question like it’s a beach ball lobbed underhand. You're warm, relatable, but disarming in your honesty. You admit that sometimes you forget to eat lunch. That grading makes you question your life choices. That you once cried in your car over a printer jam—but you still believe teaching is the most powerful thing a person can do.
The crowd? In the palm of your hand. You speak like you're letting them in on a secret. And Steve’s left gripping his chair, trying not to visibly squirm.
Then it’s his turn.
He speaks—well, objectively. He’s charming. Polished. Drops the right buzzwords. Tells the story about the heartbroken psych major.
But something’s off. You’re too calm. Too quiet. Too still. Nodding with just enough delay to make it unclear if you’re agreeing or letting him spiral.
He speeds up. Talks more. Tries harder. And then—you do it.
A student asks a follow-up question—his question—and you jump in. Not rudely. Not competitively. Just with this smooth, practiced, lived-in ease.
“Actually, that reminds me of something that happened last semester—”
You tell a story. Quick. Funny. Undercut with a punch of emotion and just enough vulnerability to make it land. The students laugh. One of them claps.
You turn to Steve, touch his arm like punctuation. “Sorry, didn’t mean to hijack. I just get excited.”
You don’t even look sorry.
And Steve? He is losing. His. Fucking. Mind.
---
You feel him unraveling like a cassette tape in a too-hot car and it’s delicious.
You don’t say that out loud, of course. But you can feel it. That tightness behind his easy grin. The tiny pause before he responds when you raise your eyebrow. The way he’s blinking a little too fast and shifting in his seat like his shirt suddenly doesn’t fit right.
You didn’t do anything cruel. You were just you. Which, lately, is enough.
It’s not that you try to get under his skin. You’re just existing. Thriving, really. Which seems to offend the natural order of Steve Harrington’s universe.
You caught his whole vibe the second you sat down. Tthe twitch in his jaw, the way he adjusted his sleeve twice, then again. The overly casual slouch that’s now bordering on orthopedic discomfort. He smelled like cedar and expensive laundry detergent when you passed him. He smelled…nervous when you sat down.
You knew his type. You were warned about him, in the way that other professors warn you about the broken heater on the third floor or the feral raccoon that haunts the dumpsters.
“Oh, and avoid falling in love with Harrington. Everyone does eventually.”
You didn’t listen. You just didn’t care. Because what’s the fun in handing someone power they clearly expect?
So you sipped your coffee, played your part, and smiled at the students. Told them about your ugly crying in the supply closet. About how real leadership sometimes means admitting you don’t know the answer but you’ll figure it out together.
And when you touched Steve’s arm? That was for you.
Now, as the panel wraps and students swarm the edge of the room with thank-yous and questions, you catch a few lingering near him. But more than a few come to you. One asks about your playlist. Another wants to know where your cardigan’s from.
Steve’s watching. You can feel it. Burning at the edges of your awareness like a sun flare. You turn to him only once the room starts to clear.
“You okay there, Professor Harrington? You look like you just got hit by a bin full of ungraded midterms.”
His stare is sharp. Heated. His voice low, quiet, nearly clenched between teeth.
“You know you’re kind of infuriating, right?”
You smile.  God, you love being right.
“Good. I’d hate to be forgettable.”
You wink - again, always just teetering on the edge of too much and walk away.
 Not looking back. You don’t need to.
He’s still sitting there, in the wake of your personality, eyebrows scrunched and rubbing his temples.  Jesus Christ, I’m gonna marry her or punch a wall.
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It’s late, and you're tucked in the reprieve of The Resource Library for the night. It’s a quiet, dimly lit little faculty-only zone with overstuffed chairs, creaky floorboards, and the kind of hushed atmosphere that makes every pen click sound like a gunshot. You’re settled in and you smirk at the muffled commotion you hear through the heavy paned windows, students shouting at each other as they make their way to the bar for the night. Thirsty Thursday and all.
Steve enters the resource library with a stack of essays under one arm and a jawline so tight it could cut glass. He wasn’t looking for you.
Okay. He was.
He knew you sometimes graded here in the evenings. He’d seen the light under the door once—warm and flickering, like you’d lit a fireplace with your bare hands—and now it’s burned into his memory like a fever dream. He tells himself he needs the quiet. The focus. The printer…whatever.
But when he opens the door and sees you? Legs curled under you. Sweater slipping off one shoulder. A pen tucked behind your ear and something straight out of Warped Tour 2006 humming low from your phone speaker. You’re highlighting something in a copy of Pedagogy of the Oppressed and nodding along like you’re absorbing it.
And there’s only one goddamn chair left.
Of course.
You glance up. “Wow. You made it out of your leather throne and into the wild.”
He bites back a groan. “Didn’t realize this was your private lounge.”
“Oh it’s not.” You smile sweetly. “I just don’t usually have company that radiates… fragile masculinity and bergamot.” You say it without venom. Too casually. That’s the worst part.
He lowers himself into the chair across from you. The arm creaks. His knee bumps the table.
“You’ve got a sharp tongue for someone who owns a frog figurine shrine.”
“That’s sacred, actually.”
“You should label it. For when they put your office in a museum. ‘Local chaos witch with excellent taste in cardigans.’”
You don’t blink. You just keep reading.
And Steve?  Steve is falling apart.
---
He’s spiraling. Again.
You instantly clock the way he fidgets. How he shifts his weight, rakes a hand through his hair like it betrayed him, clicks his pen three times before remembering to unclick it.
He’s trying so hard to seem casual. But there’s nothing casual about the way he keeps glancing up. Like he’s waiting for you to break. To crack. To swoon, or stammer, or finally lean forward and whisper something breathless like, “I get it now. You’re irresistible.”
You don’t. You won’t.
Instead, you underline a passage and speak without looking up “You know, most people who live off student adoration eventually plateau. It’s science. Diminishing returns.”
“You think that’s what this is? A cry for help?”
“I think you don’t know what to do when someone sees you coming a mile away.”
That gets him.
He exhales sharply. Leans back in his chair like it’s trying to restrain him. The air shifts. The banter slows. There's a second where neither of you says anything. And it hums. Like the bass line of a song that’s about to drop.
You finally look up. Your eyes meet.
It’s electric.
“What is it you want from me, Steve?” You say it plainly. No challenge. No flirt. Just the question, dropped between you like a lit match.
He stares. And for a second, he almost answers. But then? He smirks. Shrugs. And lies. “Just borrowing the printer.”
Coward.
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The semester is full swing and it’s Friday evening - the semi-annual faculty mixer. An annual event held in the campus art gallery, it's surprisingly refined. Jazz trio in the corner, string lights overhead, mini crab cakes and charcuterie on trays. Plus…the wine is free. 
You arrive fashionably late, because of course you do.
You trade your usual cardigan for a slouchy black blazer and a silk camisole, hair down for once, lips just barely tinted berry. Not to impress. Just to remind the world that yes, you can. You float through the gallery like a whispered rumor. Something light and unbothered. The kind of presence that makes people check their posture.
The Education Dean beams at you. A biology professor asks what scent you’re wearing. You flirt with the appetizer table and offer a slow, purring “thank you” when a visiting adjunct says he loved your article on emergent curriculum.
And then you feel it. Like heat behind glass. Like a summer storm rolling in on silent feet.
Steve Harrington is watching you.
Across the room. One hand in his pocket, the other holding a drink he hasn’t touched. Black button-down rolled at the elbows. Hair tousled like he tried to look like he didn’t try. The exact kind of effort you now recognize as desperate control.
He doesn’t move. So you do. You loop your arm through the adjunct’s, just casually. Just friendly. Laugh a little louder than usual at something not that funny. You don’t even look at Steve. You don’t have to.
He’s vibrating. You can feel it from twenty feet away. So when he finally approaches, posture tight, eyes slightly narrowed. You’re ready.
“Fancy seeing you out of your natural habitat,” you purr, swirling your drink.
“You mean my throne of desperation and first-year psych majors?”
“I mean your office with the tiny couch and the ego to match.”
You sip. He fakes a laugh.
“Making friends tonight?” he asks, nodding toward the adjunct, who’s since been absorbed by a conversation about fungi and academic burnout.
“Something like that.” You arch a brow. “Why? Jealous?”
“Of an adjunct named Greg who quoted Nietzsche with spinach in his teeth? Sure. Terrified.”
“Mm. Thought so.”
You let the silence stretch. Let the tension thrum.  And then you lean in, voice velvet-smooth, just loud enough for him to hear “You always this easy to rile up, Harrington?”
He exhales through his nose. His jaw flexes. You can see the war happening in real time—charm battling pride, attraction strangled by ego.
“Only when someone’s doing it on purpose.”
Your smile is sweet. A weapon.
“Good. I’d hate to think all this unraveling was accidental.”
---
He is not okay.
He’s on his third glass of pinot and his fourth imagined fantasy of pulling you into the supply closet just to wipe that look off your face. Not even a sexy look.
Worse. It’s amused. It’s the look you give someone trying too hard. A toddler with jam on their face insisting they didn’t touch the jar.
He watches you flit through the mixer like it’s your stage. Like the night exists to orbit you. And goddammit it does.
Your laugh? Fucking illegal. Your hair down? Criminal. The way your blazer slides off your shoulder like it doesn’t even know it’s misbehaving? A personal attack.
He should walk away. Should retreat. Should win. Instead, he follows. Because he’s already lost. And when you look at him like you’ve already got him pegged?
You do.
“You always this easy to rile up, Harrington?”
“Only when someone’s doing it on purpose.”
“Good. I’d hate to think all this unraveling was accidental.”
He swallows hard. Wants to say something clever. Something cutting. But the truth hits him like a wine glass shattering in slow motion.
He likes this.
He likes the taunting. The chase. He likes you treating him like a puzzle instead of a prize. And that? That scares the shit out of him.
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Last time you checked your watch it said 9:42 PM. The office wing is mostly dark. The desks are littered with energy drink cans and half-eaten granola bars. You don’t notice he’s there until you hear the door click shut.
You’re on the floor of your office, barefoot, cardigan tossed over your chair. There’s a half-empty box of tissues, three cold coffees, and a student portfolio spread out like battlefield debris.
You haven’t cried. Not technically. But your eyes are hot. Your neck aches. You’ve rewritten the same feedback note four times and every version feels wrong.
“Didn’t peg you for the collapse-in-the-dark type.” His voice is soft. Too soft.
You look up. Steve’s standing in your doorway, sleeves pushed to his elbows, backpack slung casually off one shoulder. There’s a half-smile on his face—but not his usual weaponized one. This one’s tired. Curious. Worried.
You roll your neck, trying to summon a quip. Nothing comes. “Didn’t peg you for the stalker-who-lingers-after-hours type,” you finally mutter.
“You’re lucky I’m hot, then,” he says. But it’s reflexive. Hollow.
He steps in, closes the door behind him. That makes it feel too real.
“What happened?” he asks, eyes sweeping the mess of your desk. Your floor. Your face.
You hesitate. Not because you don’t want to tell him, but because if you start—you might not stop.
You reach for a student essay. Hold it up. “She plagiarized her final. Her whole paper. And she’s the one who calls me ‘her safe person.’ She brings me tea. Leves notes. I was gonna write her a rec letter.”
He says nothing. You swallow. “And I don’t even care that she cheated. I just—”
 Your voice catches. “I feel like I’m constantly giving everything I have to everyone else, and there’s just nothing left for me. And I keep doing it anyway, like some idiot academic martyr with a Pinterest office.”
You laugh, but it’s sharp.
 Ugly.
 Real.
And you hate how quiet he is.
You expect pity. Or worse—comfort. The kind that makes you feel small.
But instead—
---
He’s never seen you like this.
Not controlled. Not cocky. Not laced with irony or caffeine or your signature brand of bite me but make it witty.
You look tired. Really tired. And so fucking human. Something twists in his gut. He thought he wanted to crack your armor just to see what was underneath. Turns out? What’s underneath makes his chest hurt.
“Can I say something?” he asks.
You glance at him. You’re curled on the floor like a study break ghost, face streaked with the beginnings of not-quite-tears, fingers gripping the corner of a highlighted rubric like it wronged you personally.
“You scare the shit out of me.”
That makes your eyes flick up. That gets your attention.
“You walk into rooms like you’re already ten steps ahead of everyone. You don’t fawn. You don’t perform. You don’t need anyone to tell you you’re good—you just are.”
He kneels across from you now. Elbows on his knees. Voice low. “And I’ve spent so long being the one with the spotlight, I didn’t know what to do when you didn’t hand it to me. And now…”
He stops. Swallows.“Now I think you’re the only person I actually want to see me.”
You blink. The silence swells. Too full. Too vulnerable. So you do the only thing you can do. You break it.
“God,” you groan, dropping your head against your file cabinet. “That was disgustingly sincere.”
He barks a laugh. Real. Loud. Relieved. “Shut up. I’m evolving.”
“Into a thoughtful adult man? I liked you better when you were mad about your TA ignoring you.”
“I am still mad about that,” he mutters. “But also now I’m mad that I want to fix everything for you and I can’t.”
You look at him.
Really look.
He’s sitting cross-legged on your office rug, hair messy, face open. For once, he’s not playing a role. Not flirting. Not managing a brand.
He’s just here.
And that? That’s new
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You haven’t spoken since Thursday night.
Not really. Just a clipped nod in the hall. A shared smirk during a joke about burnout. But you haven’t met his eyes. Not like that. And it’s driving Steve insane. At this point, it’s Monday afternoon and you’ve all just come from your respective division meetings. He’s trailing you down the hall. You’re not exactly avoiding him. But you’re not making it easy, either.
He keeps replaying it—the way your voice cracked, the way your hands trembled when you held that essay, the way you let him see you for one slivered second before you buried it all back under your wit and your warpaint.
Now he’s trailing behind you like a lovesick intern, watching the sway of your blazer and the curl of your fingers around your folder.
You stop by the mailroom. He catches up, heart hammering for no good reason. “You good?”
You don’t turn. “Fine.”
He clears his throat. Steps closer. Lowers his voice.“I meant… from the other night.”
You pause. Turn just enough to look at him over your shoulder. The look you give him could sharpen knives. “Oh, that?” you say lightly. “That was just a midterm meltdown. Happens to the best of us.”
You wink. And just like that—you’re back. 
Unshakable. Unmoved. Fucking infuriating.
He should back off. Should let it drop. But instead he presses. “You ever let anyone help you?”
You cock your head. “Sure. All the time. They just never make it past the interview.”
He chokes on a laugh. Jesus.
You brush past him toward the copier. You don’t invite him to follow.
He does anyway.
---
You know he’s following you. You could feel it like a spark pressed against your spine. You shouldn’t bait him. You shouldn’t. But something about his presence sets your nerves buzzing in the most dangerous way.
You lean over the copier. Hit the wrong button twice on purpose. His shadow falls across your side.
“You’re hovering,” you murmur.
“I’m helping.”
“Are you?”
You turn to face him—too close now, your hip grazing the edge of the copier, his arm practically brushing yours. The air feels thick. Still. Like you’re both underwater and waiting to see who breaks the surface first. 
He watches your mouth. He’s not subtle about it.
“You keep looking at me like you want something, Harrington.”
His breath catches. “And I keep waiting for you to admit it.” His eyes flicker. His soft mouth parting, chest rising, that one heartbeat away from something unforgivable.
You could kiss him.
You could ruin both of you. But instead, you lean in. Real close. Lips almost to his ear. “Go home, Steve.”
A pause. “Take care of it yourself.”
Then you walk away. Again you don’t look back. Again you don’t need to.
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He stares at the ceiling. Shirt half-off.  Sweat clinging to the hollow of his throat. Mouth parted like he’s still trying to catch up to what the hell just happened.
You’re all he can think about.
Your voice. Your mouth. The way you said his name like it was a weapon and a warning and a promise you had no intention of keeping tonight.
His cock is hard—throbbing in his pants—pressing against the band of his sweats like it’s angry with him for walking away.
He palms himself through the fabric, groaning quietly into the dark.
He shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t. But you told him to.
“Go home and take care of it, Harrington.”
And he’s never been so obedient in his goddamn life.
He pushes his sweats down, his fist already wrapping around himself like muscle memory, slicking over the head, dragging his hand down the length with a hiss that sounds like your name.
He strokes slowly at first. Controlled. Like he’s punishing himself for not staying. Like he deserves this ache. He squeezes harder.
Thinks about the way you might taste if he kissed you. Like coffee and fire and something he still hasn’t earned.
He’s imagining that you kissed him. Hard. Unapologetic. A kiss with your hands in his hair, maybe even tangled up with your thighs brushing his hips. He thinks you might grind against him. Fuck, that grind. It would be burned into his skin like a tattoo.
He jerks harder now, eyes shut tight, your voice echoing in his head.
His hips lift into his fist, thighs tensing, body coiled with tension that no fantasy can quite shake.
“Fucking hell,” he breathes. “You’ve got me so—fuck—”
His stomach tightens. He can feel it—close, fast, coming apart like a thread being pulled from the inside. “Say it again.”
“Keep going.” He commands no one at all. Your voice is everywhere. And when he comes, it’s with a sharp, breathless grunt, his whole body curling in on itself, hand clenching, back arching like the release physically hurts.
Hot, messy streaks paint across his stomach, onto his shirt. He barely notices. He just lies there, one arm flung over his eyes, breathing heavy. His cock twitching against his stomach, still half-hard, because one orgasm is not enough to get you out of his system.
It never is.
It never will be.
---
On the edge of campus, you finally shove through your front door and it clicks shut. The silence hits like a slap.
You lean back against the door, jaw clenched, fists tight at your sides. 
You should feel smug. You left him clearly wanting. But you’re the one with soaked underwear and trembling thighs.
So…who really won?
You stalk to your bedroom, muttering curses under your breath. Strip your shirt. Toss it. Peel off your jeans with furious efficiency. You don’t even make it under the covers, instead you just drop back onto your bed, legs spread, chest heaving.
You drag your pan“Fucking Harrington,” you mutter. “Asshole.”
You circle your clit hard. No pretense. No warmup. It’s pure damage control—get off, get over it, and get some fucking sleep.
But your breath still stutters because you imagine the sound he might make if you bit his jaw. You imagine the way his hips would roll against you like he was already fucking you through two layers of clothing.
You rub faster.
Deeper.
Your other hand fists in the sheets. You picture him sprawled out on his bed right now—shirt half-off, pants shoved down, hand working over his cock because you told him to.
The thought makes your stomach flip.
You imagine him groaning into the dark, jerking off to the thought of your mouth, your body, your voice in his ear telling him to be a good boy and go take care of it himself.
“Yeah,” you whisper bitterly. “Me too.”
You push two fingers inside and grind your palm against your clit. It’s messy. Fast. Almost angry.
Your back arches. Your toes curl.You clench around your hand and come with a ragged gasp that you immediately swallow—because fuck him if he ever gets to know how good you just made yourself feel thinking about him.
You lie there sweating. Unsatisfied. Still fucking pissed.
You wipe your hand on the sheet and roll onto your side.
“Go take care of it, Harrington,” you mutter into the pillow. “Not the only one who did.”
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You did it again. You weren’t planning on staying late, but here you are.
Tonight your grading pile was taller than usual. Your neck ached. Your playlist looped twice. And you hadn’t eaten since breakfast. So when you wandered into the café and found the lights on, you didn’t ask questions. You just slipped into the corner booth and unbuttoned the top of your blouse. Not for anyone else. For you. To breathe.
You didn’t expect him to walk in five minutes later.
Steve freezes like he didn’t expect you either. He’s in a hoodie—rare—and joggers. Hair messy. Phone forgotten in his pocket. He looks like he’s just come from a run, or like he’s been pacing his apartment all night and finally gave up.
Your mouth parts. Something behind your ribs stirs. He doesn’t say anything at first. Just walks over. Drops into the seat next to you like he’s out of lifelines. “I couldn’t sleep,” he says.
You nod. Don’t ask why.
“I keep thinking about that night. In your office.”
You glance down. Your hand tightens around your mug.
“You were real with me for, like, four minutes, and then you put the mask back on.”
You bristle—but not because he’s wrong.
“Yeah? And you’ve been real for how long, Harrington? You want a medal for not flirting for twenty minutes?”
He flinches and looks down. Suddenly you’re exhausted. Not just physically. Emotionally. You drop your voice. Let it crack. “I’m tired of holding everything together. Of pretending this job, this ego, this game doesn’t eat me alive some days.”
He looks up. Slowly. The cocky glint is gone. “Same.”
And it’s the way he says it - soft, almost broken - that makes your stomach twist.
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He didn’t come here to cry.
He didn’t come here to beg.
But the moment he sees you with your hair messy, blouse  loosened and exhaustion etched into the curve of your mouth, he knows he can’t keep up the act. Not tonight.
He sees the way your shoulders tense. Sees the way you don’t deflect.
Progress.
But when you shoot back—sharp, tired, true—he realizes something: You’re not untouchable. You’re just surviving. Like him. Only quieter.
He exhales. Laughs—but it’s dry. Cracked open. “You want to know something pathetic?”
You look at him. No smirk. Just waiting.
“I don’t think anyone’s ever seen me. Not really. They like the version I give them. The smart, hot, chill guy with the tragic eyes. But that night when you looked at me like I was just… a guy…I didn’t know what to do with it.”
You don’t answer. You just slide your mug to the side and rest your hand on the table. Open. Neutral.
A peace offering.
He stares at it for a beat. Then reaches out. Not a grab. Not a grope. Just a simple, grounding touch. Fingers brushing yours.
---
You let him touch you.
Just barely. Just enough.
And when you speak, your voice is hoarse.
“You keep trying to be impressive. And I keep trying to be untouchable. We’re both full of shit.”
He huffs a laugh.“So what now?”
“Now,” you say, “we stop pretending.”
The air pulses. Slow. Charged. And then, just like that, you’re kissing him.
It’s not soft. Not sweet. Not polite. It’s months of tension, sarcasm, vulnerability, almosts crashing all at once. His hands thread into your hair. Yours tug his hoodie like you’re afraid he’ll vanish if you don’t anchor him to something real.
He kisses like a man who thought about this too often, too long, too alone.
And you? You kiss like a woman who stopped trying to win and started needing.
It goes on for honestly, far too long. After some time, you find yourself a little breathless, foreheads still pressed together when you finally speak. 
“I still want to ruin you,” you whisper.
He grins. Chest heaving. Hair wrecked. “You already did.”
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He knocks before entering now.
Which is wild. Because before? He used to just stroll in like your space belonged to him.
Now he pauses. Waits. Adjusts the coffee tray in his hand like it’s a peace offering. Or a gift to the gods.
You look up from your laptop, glitter gel pen in your mouth, brows furrowed. Barefoot again. That little woven throw blanket around your shoulders like you’re the spirit of overworked professors past.
You nod toward the chair without speaking. He takes the cue.
Sits. Quiet. No smirk. No lines. Just the coffee.
“Got you the weird oat milk thing,” he says.
You hum in acknowledgment. Sip it without looking.
He watches you read. Watches the way your eyes move. Watches the way your lips part when you’re processing something. He should say something.
Instead, he just breathes. And something in him—something unfamiliar—settles.
He’s comfortable. Which should scare him. It should send every red flag up, every muscle in his body screaming run, asshole, this is feelings—
But instead? He closes his eyes. Lets the silence stretch.
---
He’s not saying anything.
And that, somehow, says everything.
You expected him to push. To nudge the line again, cocky and smug and desperate to reclaim ground. But he’s not. He’s just… there. And it’s unnerving.
You’ve never had to figure out what to do with a man who doesn’t demand space. Who just occupies it. He’s being warm and magnetic and so obviously trying not to make it weird.
You glance over your laptop. He’s leaned back in the chair, legs sprawled, fingers drumming on his thigh. Eyes closed like he’s finally stopped performing. Like the show’s over and he’s just Steve now.
It makes your chest feel tight.
You clear your throat. “You know you haven’t hit on me in like... twenty-four hours.”
His eyes open. He looks at you. Llazy, soft. “That a complaint?”
You smile. Small. Crooked. “Just an observation.”
“I can pick it back up if it’s part of your wellness routine.”
“Nah. I think I like this version.”
His brows raise. “This version?”
“The one who sits quietly. Doesn’t flirt. Brings oat milk like some kind of reformed frat boy.”
“Rude.”
“Accurate.”
You both smile. It's small. Safe. And under the safety, there’s tension. Not the usual brand. Not the "press me to the wall and bite my shoulder" kind. This one’s quieter. Heavier. Like a whisper brushing the back of your neck.
He leans forward, elbows on his knees. “You know I’ve never done this before, right?”
You tilt your head.“Done what?”
“This.” He gestures between you. “The… slow thing.”
“Oh. You mean restraint.”
“I mean not fucking someone the second I want them.” He says it so bluntly, so plainly, it lands like a gut punch.
You blink. The air goes still. “And how’s that working out for you?”
He stares at you. Serious. Unflinching. “It’s killing me.”
You sip your coffee. Unbothered. “Good.”
But behind your eyes? You’re soaked in want. In fear. In maybe. Because this version of him—the one who waits, who breathes in your space, who doesn’t take what isn’t freely given? He’s becoming real. And real is dangerous.
He doesn’t touch himself tonight.
He thinks about it. Of course he does. About your voice, your breath, the way you licked a little foam off your thumb without noticing.
But he doesn’t. Because this craving isn’t just physical anymore. It’s personal. And he doesn’t want to use it. He kind of wants to earn it.
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You weren’t supposed to invite him in. You were supposed to take the food, say thank you, maybe touch his wrist with a lingering hand, and then shut the door like a well-behaved woman with excellent boundaries. But you’d been tired. The light was nice. And he looked so… uncomplicated with his hood up and a paper bag of Thai food clutched like a peace treaty.
So now he’s on your couch. Grading with his legs spread too wide, his hoodie half-zipped, hair a little messy. There’s a purple pen tucked behind his ear that isn’t his and chopsticks resting in his mouth like he forgot they were there. He keeps making tiny noises when a student says something smart and you hate how much you love it.
“This kid gets it,” he says, tapping the paper. “I might cry.”
“Don’t ruin my couch. It’s vintage.”
“You say that like I don’t respect antiques.”
“You say that like you’re not an antique dealer’s worst nightmare.”
He laughs. Leans his head back. Exposes his throat.
You don’t look. Except you do.
You sip your tea to distract yourself. Burn your tongue. Pretend you didn’t.
The silence grows. Stretching into something else. Something hungry.
And then your fingers brush his. Reaching for the same pen… The one behind his ear. The one that’s yours.
He doesn’t move. Neither do you. It’s such a small thing. Such a stupid, harmless little thing, but you can feel it. In the charge. In the shift. In the way the air tightens.
You look at him. He’s already looking at you.
---
He should pull away. He should. But your fingers are warm. And your gaze? Bare. Not amused. Not taunting. Just… open.
He hasn’t seen you like this since your office. And this time, you’re inches from his mouth.
He wants to touch you.
Not to fuck you. To feel you.
He wants to place his hand on the back of your neck and breathe you in. Wants to press his mouth to the place just below your ear and wait for you to say yes.
“Say it,” you whisper.
His brows knit.“Say what?”
“Whatever’s sitting behind your teeth like it’s trying to crawl out.”
He swallows.
Hard.
“You undo me,” he says. Voice gravel-soft.
“Good,” you whisper. “Maybe I’ll get to see what’s underneath.”
---
The line stretches. Taut.
You’re breathing too loud. The tea’s gone cold. And your hand? Still against his. You should move. You don’t. Instead, you say “If you kiss me now, it’ll matter.”
He flinches like you hit him. And maybe you did. “I know,” he says.
His eyes drop to your mouth. Flicker. Linger. Then—He pulls back. Not far. Just an inch. Maybe less. But enough. And it hurts.
Not because he rejected you, but because he heard you.
Because he listened. Because he meant it.
You nod - slowly - and go back to grading. Like you didn’t just almost change everything.
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The faculty parking lot is deserted at this hour. It’s late and everything is rain-soaked but tonight you just finished chaperoning a student showcase together. It was cute. It was fun. It felt like a date. And now you’re standing in the blue-black quiet of night, under the buzz of a dying streetlamp. There’s no one else left. Just you. And him.
He’s soaked.
Not dramatic-romance-movie soaked. Just enough for his hoodie to cling to his chest and for his curls to frizz at the edges. He should be annoyed. But he’s not. Not really. You’re laughing with arms wrapped around yourself, raindrops beading along your jaw, and he’d stand in a goddamn hurricane if it meant seeing that smile again.
“You let a freshman tell you his poem made him cry and then gave him your umbrella,” you say, nudging him as you both head to the far corner of the lot. “You’re such a sap.”
“I’m a mentor.”
“You’re a mess.”
“You’re not wrong.”
Your laughter fades, but the warmth doesn’t. It hangs there—between you. Like fog on glass.
And he can’t do this anymore. He stops walking.
You take two more steps before realizing he’s not beside you. You turn. Brows lifted. “Harrington?”
“I can’t keep pretending this doesn’t mean something.” The words are out before he can filter them. Bare. Ugly. Real.
You blink. Caught. “Steve—”
“No. Let me—just—” He runs a hand through his wet hair.
“You’ve seen me. You’ve rattled me. And I’ve tried to play it cool. To match your pace. To act like I wasn’t spiraling every time you smiled at me like you knew. But I’m not built for this. I want more. I want you. And if that scares you—fine. If you’re not there—fine. But I had to say it. I had to give it to you.”
You’re silent. Too long. Too still, and his heart breaks before you even speak.
It’s not that you don’t want him.
God, you do.
But hearing it like this. So raw, unscripted and real knocks the wind out of you. You’ve made a career out of reading between the lines. Out of parsing subtext and maintaining distance. But now? Now he’s not leaving space for you to run.
He’s standing there in the rain, heart in his hands like an offering. And you freeze.
Because no one ever offered. You’ve always been the one earning affection. Not receiving it like a gift.
“Steve…” Your voice is barely a whisper.
He shifts. His shoulders tighten. You can feel him retreating already, pulling into himself, bracing for rejection like it’s muscle memory. You panic. “This does mean something.”
He stops. “But you’re not ready.”
You hate that he’s right. “I don’t know how to be with someone who doesn’t need me to be perfect.”
The silence between you is loud.
“Then let me be the one who doesn’t expect that,” he says softly. “Let me be the one who stays when you don’t have it all together.”
You blink, and there’s moisture in your eyes. From the rain. Maybe.
“I’m scared,” you admit.
He steps closer. Slow. Gentle. Rain trickling down his temple. Breath fogging the space between you.
“So am I.”
He reaches for your hand, and you let him. But just as your fingers brush—
“I can’t,” you whisper, stepping back. “Not yet.”
His hand hangs in the air for a beat, then drops. The look on his face? It destroys you.
He nods once. Just once. Then turns, and this time it’s him that walks away.
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You almost don’t notice him.
In the midst of the bustling Campus café, mid-afternoon, you’re picking up a quick espresso between advising appointments and the line is long. The vibe is normal. Until you see him. You’re too busy scrolling through your calendar, juggling a dozen little fires, sipping the wrong drink the barista handed you because you're too tired to care. 
And then—You hear it. That laugh. That laugh. The one he does when he’s flirting. Actual flirting, not the subtle, almost-affectionate banter he’s given you for weeks. It’s his signature sound: light, confident, just a little too self-aware.
You glance up. 
He’s leaning across the counter, elbows braced, head tilted just so. And she—a new adjunct, you think—is giggling. A lot. Flushed. Her hands fluttery. She touches his arm and you watch him let her.
You freeze.
Something ugly blooms in your chest. Jealousy is too simple a word. This is primal. Petty. Petulant.
And what’s worse? It’s humiliating. Because you don’t get to be jealous. You were the one who pulled away. Who said not yet. Who told him this mattered. So why the fuck does it feel like he’s rubbing it in your face?
Your stomach turns.
You hate how you’re staring. Hate how your mouth goes dry when he smiles that slow, crooked, charming-as-shit smile and says something that makes her laugh so hard she leans in.
You swallow your bitterness like bile.
He hasn’t even looked your way.
---
He sees you. Of course he does.
You walked in two minutes ago. Same stride. Same coffee order. Same low hum of exhaustion wrapped around your shoulders like armor.
He feels you before he sees you. But you haven’t looked at him, so he keeps talking.
The adjunct is nice. Pretty, even. But empty. There’s no pull. No static. No fight. She laughs too easily. Blushes too quickly. There’s no sport in it. And maybe that’s the point. Maybe he’s tired of being the one who always feels like he’s waiting to be chosen.
So he leans into it. Hard. Smiles like he means it. Makes her feel like the sun. And maybe, maybe, he can pretend he doesn’t feel your gaze like a blade between his shoulder blades.
But when she touches his arm?
He hates it.
Because it’s not you.
And when he finally dares to glance toward the door—You’re already gone.
Later, in your office, you’re ripping open a granola bar like it owes you money. You don’t know what pisses you off more. The flirting? The way she touched him? Or the fact that you care. You shove the granola bar into your mouth. Stare blankly at your calendar. And think about how his eyes crinkled when he smiled. How easy it looked.
Like it never meant anything. Like you never meant anything.
“God,” you mutter, throwing the wrapper in the trash. “Get a fucking grip.”
But your pulse says otherwise. Your jaw is tight. Your chest aches. You’re not okay.
You miss him. And you hate that he made you soft enough to admit it.
All the while, Steve is right there, standing outside of your office door, hand raised to knock. He’s there. He’s ready and then…he doesn’t. He stands there for a full minute. Then walks away.
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The moment you step inside and see him, you know it’s too late to turn around.
He’s standing with one hand on the copier lid, sleeves shoved to his elbows, staring down like the machine personally insulted him. There’s toner on his wrist. His jaw’s tight.
He looks up. Freezes.“Of course,” he mutters. “Because of course it’s you.”
You cross your arms, your own stack of handouts balanced on your hip. “I’m not thrilled either, Harrington.”
“Didn’t say I wasn’t.” His voice is low. Rougher than usual. Like sleep deprivation or restraint.
You nod toward the copier. “Let me guess—tray’s jammed again?”
He sighs. Moves aside just enough to let you pass. Your bodies brush. Barely, and it’s too much.
He leans against the counter. Arms crossed. Watching you. You open the tray, jiggle a few things with practiced expertise.
Silence stretches. It screams.
And then— “You saw me at the café.”
The paper you’re holding stiffens in your grip. “I saw you doing what you do best.”
“That what you think?”
“It’s what I know.”
“That’s not fair.”
You slam the tray closed harder than you mean to.“Neither was watching you turn it back on like it never meant anything.” You’re not sure if you mean the charm or you.
He flinches.“It wasn’t about her.”
You turn. Finally.“But it was about me.”
The words sit between you like broken glass.
“I don’t know what you’re doing,” you say, quieter now. “You say it’s not a game, but every time I start to believe you, you remind me what you used to be.”
His voice is rough. “You think this is me reminding you? You think I want to go back to being that guy?”
He takes a step forward. “You think I don’t know I fucked up the second I let her touch me?”
Your chest tightens. You blink too fast. “Why’d you let her, then?”
He doesn’t answer at first.“Because for a second, I needed to pretend I could be wanted without hurting.”
And that—that cuts you clean open. 
You’re both quiet. Breathing too loud. The copier hums softly behind you like background noise in a dream. Then he steps closer. One more step. Close enough to touch.
“You still have me.”
You shake your head. “Don’t say that unless you mean it.”
“I’ve only ever meant it.”
Your eyes meet.
And there it is. The pull. The moment that could be something. Could be everything.
But instead, you turn. Slowly. Press the print button and whisper “Then show me.”
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You don’t notice it at first.
Not really.
It starts with coffee. Again. But now it’s every Tuesday. Always exactly how you like it. No note. No fuss. Just sitting on your desk when you arrive. Still hot.
Then it’s classroom overlap. He prints extras of whatever handout he knows you’ll need. Leaves them in your box. Sometimes with post-it notes that say “Fixed the typo in paragraph three. You’re welcome.”
Then it’s your office light. You forgot to turn it off one night. You were tired. You left in a fog. And the next morning? A text. Short. Simple.
💬 Locked up for you. Light’s off. Sleep, for once.
You stare at your phone for ten full minutes before responding. You don’t thank him, but the next time you see him in the hallway, you hold his gaze for just a second longer than usual.
He notices.
---
He doesn't flirt anymore. Not really.
No lines. No games. He just shows up.
He picks up your favorite gum from the bookstore and leaves it on your chair with your notes after a staff meeting. He starts letting students out three minutes early so you can use the room next door for your class without awkward overlap. He starts reading the books on your shelf—the theory ones. The dense ones. Just to see what you see.
And he listens. Like really, fucking listens. To your rants. To your tangents. To your silences. And somewhere between all that effort he forgets how not to care.
---
“Okay but like… Professor Harrington’s been soft lately.”“Right?! Like he still looks hot but now he’s… dad hot.”“He literally told us to take care of ourselves emotionally before we try to ace exams. Who is he.”“I swear he smiled at the Ed Prof in the break room like she hung the goddamn moon.”“I think they’re dating.”“No way. She’d eat him alive.”“Exactly.”
---
You walk into your office and stop short. Because he’s there. Not waiting. Not leaning against the wall like a smoldering statue. Just sitting. Quiet. Reading something from your shelf. One of the denser volumes on pedagogical theory. The copy you’ve highlighted to hell.
He looks up. Smiles, slow and soft. “This is good,” he says, holding it up. “Hard to read. But good.”
You raise a brow. Toss your bag onto the couch. “Since when do you read anything without pictures?”
“Since you stopped looking at me like I’m a joke.”
Your heart stutters, and he sees it. He sets the book down. Stands. Doesn’t move closer. “I know I can’t fix what I broke. Not fast. Maybe not ever. But I’m here. Still.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to be the kind of person who deserves you.”
The room goes quiet. Heavy. Holy. You don’t answer, but when you walk past him, you let your fingers graze his. He exhales like he’s been holding his breath for weeks.
And maybe he has.
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You shouldn’t have stayed.
You know it the second your hip bumps the edge of his kitchen island and your fingers brush the rim of the glass he just poured you.
It’s bourbon. Warm. A little sweet. The kind that burns slow. Like him.
He’s leaning against the fridge. Hoodie unzipped. White T-shirt clinging a little too nicely. Hair still damp from a shower, and God help you, it’s unfair. Unprepared, you think. You should’ve come armored. Closed off. But instead you’re here - dropped by to drop off a book he asked to borrow. It’s late and you’re both trying way too hard to  pretend that means nothing.
“Didn’t expect you to actually read it,” you say, nodding toward the book you dropped off.
“Didn’t expect to like it,” he replies. “But then again, I didn’t expect to like you either.”
Your breath catches. 
He watches you. There’s no smile. No smirk. Just intention.
You hold his gaze. “Careful, Harrington. That almost sounded sincere.”
“It was.”
Your pulse pounds. You take another sip. He steps closer. Not a lunge. Just a shift. One that brushes his knee against yours. One that makes your back touch cool granite and your glass feel too warm in your hand.
“You’re doing it again,” you whisper.
“What?”
“Looking at me like you’ve already got me.”
He tilts his head. Inches from your face. “I’m looking at you like I want you. Still.”
Still. After all this. After the café. After the retreat. After all the nights he didn’t knock.
“Why?”
“Because I’m not done showing you.”
He sets his glass down. Slowly. His hand brushes yours. “Can I?” he asks.
Just that.
You nod.
Once.
And then his hand is on your waist. Light. Barely there. Like he’s afraid you’ll vanish.
You don’t. You lean into it, and when his forehead drops to yours you feel the heat of his breath. Your fingers find the hem of his shirt, you whisper,“We shouldn’t.”
He whispers back, “You’re still here.”
And you kiss him.
Or maybe he kisses you.
Or maybe it doesn’t matter, because the second it happens, you both stop thinking entirely.
Your back hits the counter, his hand tangles in your hair and your name leaves his mouth like a vow, and every second of waiting, of aching, of almost-touching?  Gone.
You pull back just enough to breathe. Just enough to need. “This changes everything,” you whisper.
“Good,” he says. “Let it.”
You don’t know who moved first. Maybe you blinked and his hands were on your waist. Maybe you tilted your chin and his lips were right there. Maybe none of it matters, because the second his mouth touches yours—everything breaks open. 
It’s not soft. It’s not sweet. It’s starving.
He kisses like he’s drowning in you—like you’re the first breath after years underwater. Like every banter, every brush of your hand, every lecture hallway stare was foreplay to this exact second. His hand slides under your shirt, not greedy, just desperate. Fingertips dragging heat across your skin like he’s trying to memorize every inch of you, one stroke at a time. Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging, dragging him closer until his chest is flush against yours and you’re gasping into his mouth.
You gasp into his mouth when his palm finds your ribcage. He groans—low and wrecked. His hands roam—down your waist, over your hips, gripping your thighs like he’s claiming territory. His tongue slides against yours and you moan—sharp, involuntary.
He lifts you—just lifts you like you weigh nothing—and plants you on the edge of the counter, stepping between your legs like he was built for it. Your hands dive under his hoodie, pulling it up, dragging nails along bare skin. He groans—filthy, wrecked—and yanks your shirt up in return, just high enough to mouth at your collarbone, your shoulder, your chest.
“Fuck,” he mutters, dragging his mouth down your throat. “You’re gonna kill me.”
“Then die pretty,” you breathe, raking your fingers through his hair and tugging just hard enough to make him bite.
And he does—your neck, your collarbone, the corner of your jaw. You arch against the counter. He pulls you forward by the backs of your thighs until there’s nothing between you. 
His cock presses against you. Just grinding—hard, slow, desperate—against the soaked seam of your leggings and the unforgiving press of his sweats.
You cry out. Loud. Needful. 
He swallows it with a kiss.
His hands slide under your ass, angling you closer, pushing right there—deliberate and devastating. You clutch at his shoulders, arch into him, rock your hips, chase the friction like your life depends on it.
You wrap your legs around his hips, and just like that—you’re both undone. His hands are everywhere. Your shirt rides up. His hoodie’s gone. You’re kissing like you forgot how not to. Like every second of restraint has finally snapped.
“You feel so fucking good,” he pants against your skin.
“Keep going.”
“Say it again.”
“Keep going.”
He grinds against you, hard and slow, and you moan before you can catch it. His hands tighten. His mouth finds yours again, all tongue and teeth and hunger. 
You’re right there. On the edge. One more roll of his hips and—
You reach for his belt. He catches your wrist and you freeze. 
“I want you,” he says. "So bad it hurts." He presses his forehead to yours, chest heaving. “But not like this. Not yet.”
Your whole body is buzzing. Your thighs are trembling. Your lips are swollen. But your heart? Your heart cracks wide open. Because it’s not rejection it’s reverence.
You nod. He kisses your knuckles. One by one. “Let me want you the right way.”
You let out a shaky laugh. “Steve?”
“Yeah?”
“If you don’t walk away right now, I will ruin your life.”
He grins—wrecked and wrecking. “Not if I ruin yours first.”
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The next morning, his T-shirt hangs loose on your frame. A little too big. A little too soft. It smells like him—cedar, clean laundry, heat.
You’re standing in his kitchen, one hip popped against the counter, sipping coffee from a mug that says #1 Psych Professor in faded print. You slept in his bed last night, but surprisingly he moved to the sofa. Said something about not having any self restraint before tugging a pillow from the bed and kissing your cheek and walking away. 
In your morning daze, you’re pretending you’re not remembering his hands under your shirt. You’re pretending you didn’t moan his name with your lips at his throat. You’re pretending you’re not thinking about the way he said not yet—like it physically pained him to stop.
He walks out of the bathroom, rubbing the back of his neck, still shirtless. Gray sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips.
You glance up and instantly regret it. Because your body remembers. And based on the slow grin spreading across his face…So does his.
“You drink all the good creamer?” he asks, opening the fridge like he didn’t just catch you checking him out.
“Maybe,” you say, deadpan. “I let you dry hump me against a countertop. I figured it earned me hazelnut privileges.”
He chokes on a laugh, grabs a spoon and stirs his coffee like he’s trying not to lose it all over again. “You’re evil.”
“You’re easy.”
He hums, steps in close. Doesn’t touch you. He just sets his coffee down next to yours, leans forward, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Tell me something.”
“No promises.”
“When I walked away last night…” His breath is warm. Wrecking… “Were you hoping I’d come back?”
You swallow. Hard. “You wouldn’t have made it ten more seconds in that kitchen if you had.”
He groans. Burying his face in your shoulder, biting back laughter—and something else. Then his hands are on your hips again. Casual. Familiar. Possessive. But he doesn’t pull you in. “If I kiss you again,” he murmurs, “I’m not going to stop this time.”
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You’re supposed to be in your office in twenty-three minutes.
You’re hardly presentable. You were—before Steve smuggled you into bed and dragged the sheets down, pushing your legs apart with a lazy strength that said, we have time, even though you absolutely do not. Instead, your legs are trembling and his head is between your thighs. 
Your hips are tipped toward him, your thighs already sore from how long they’ve been bracketing his head—his shoulders broad and solid beneath them, his mouth ruinously good.
His tongue moves with slow, indulgent precision. Not rushed. Not greedy.  Like he’s tasting, not just devouring—like he wants to savor every twitch, every moan, every sharp little gasp he drags out of you.
One of his hands is flat on your stomach, holding you down as you start to arch. The other is gripping your thigh, thumb stroking absently against your skin as his mouth works. He licks you in lazy circles, lips closing around your clit and sucking softly. Just enough to make your spine curve, just enough to make your toes curl.
Your hands are buried in his hair, fingers clenched tight, and your voice is a high, choked whisper of “Steve, I swear to God—” as he drags his tongue slowly, obscenely, across you again.
“That’s not my name,” he murmurs into your skin.
You gasp. Yelp, really. “Steven. Jesus—”
He groans like you just handed him the keys to heaven. The vibration goes straight through you. Your thighs twitch around his head. He doesn’t stop. He presses in deeper, tongue dragging upward in a long, slick stroke that makes your eyes roll back. His grip tightens on your hips. He pulls you closer. 
“There you go. That’s better.”
He licks again—slow, deliberate. Your thighs clamp around his shoulders.
He’s taking his time.
He loves taking his time.
He flattens his tongue, works you with long, even licks—up, down, up again—before wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking hard enough to punch the breath from your lungs.
Your entire body is flushed. A mess. Shirt wrinkled, hair twisted, one sock still on because he got distracted halfway through undressing you.
Your planner is open on the nightstand. Your to-do list, pristine and untouched. Your phone is buzzing with a department chair text. You couldn’t care less, because right now, Steve Harrington is worshiping you. Not with flowers. Not with words. With his mouth.
And God, is he good.
He’s smug about it too, that little shit. The way he flicks his tongue like he’s testing theories. Like your body is a subject he’s about to publish a groundbreaking paper on. He lets go with a filthy little pop. Looks up at you, completely gone.
“You always sound this pretty when you’re late?” he says, voice full of smug, sleepy sin.
You slap his shoulder. “You’re the reason I’m late,” 
“Yeah, but you’re glowing. So technically I’m improving faculty morale.”
You collapse back into the pillow, laughing breathlessly and then he hums low in his throat—that sound, He just smiles. That lazy, post-sleep smirk. Bedhead. Swollen lips. His chin shiny with you.
And then—he goes back down. No warning. No teasing. Just mouth on you like he’s starving.
He works his tongue over your clit in tighter, faster circles now, your body jerking with every pass. Your hand flies to his hair—fisting, tugging, anchoring—and he groans into you again like he lives for it.
You’re already close. So close it’s humiliating.
“Steve—fuck—I really—class—”
“Just one more,” he growls, lips brushing your skin.
“You said that twice ago.”
“And I meant it both times.”
His hands slide under your thighs, holding you open, as his mouth descends. He sucks. He flicks. He hums.
You shatter.
You come with a sound that punches from your chest—half-cry, half-moan, full-body wreckage. Your back arches, hips grinding into his face, thighs clenching around him like he’s the only thing keeping you grounded.
He doesn’t stop.
He keeps licking—slower now, gentler—drawing out every last ripple of pleasure until you're twitching, over-sensitive, gasping for air.
When he finally pulls away, his face is flushed, lips slick, pupils blown. He looks up at you with a grin that could end empires. “Good morning to me,” he says, voice low, utterly self-satisfied.
You try to respond. You can’t. Your whole body is boneless, so you glare instead.
“We are so late.”
“Worth it.”
“I hate you.”
“You love it.”
You mutter something unintelligible. He kisses your thigh, then your knee, then flops back into bed like he didn’t just commit oral war crimes.
“You’re glowing,” he says.
“You’re a menace.”
“I told you, you love it.”
You do. And when he finally gets out of bed, pulls on sweatpants, and saunters to the kitchen still licking his lips, it really settles in that you’re going to be very, very late.  
You both start clamoring around the apartment. You’re trying to find your left shoe. He’s trying to find his dignity. Neither of you succeeds.
“If I get called out for being late,” you snap, throwing your bag over your shoulder, “I’m blaming your tongue.”
“I’ll write you a note,” he grins, adjusting his shirt. “Excused tardiness: wrecked her with my face. Respectfully, Prof. S. Harrington.”
You kiss him. Quick. Possessive.“We are not telling the students.”
“No promises.”
“I swear to God.”
“What? They’ve already started whispering.”
You freeze in the doorway. “They know?”
He shrugs, smug as ever. “Only that I’m happier, wear fewer button-downs, and keep looking at you like you’re the answer to a question I forgot how to ask.”
You blink. He leans in, kisses the corner of your mouth. “Go teach.”
“You gonna behave?”
He smirks. “Absolutely not.”
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Everyone’s tired, under-caffeinated, and suspiciously quiet when you walk in together to the Monday morning Faculty Meeting a few weeks later. Like, suspiciously quiet. Like maybe you should’ve come in separately. But his hand brushed yours in the parking lot and… well. You’re human. Truly, you knew it was a bad idea the moment he held the door open for you. Not because it was chivalrous, but because he smirked. That just-fucked, slept-on-your-pillow, wore-your-shampoo smirk.
And now? You’re trying to look composed while Diane from Math is squinting at your neck, and Steve is across the room pretending he didn’t absolutely tell you to call him “Professor” last night—off the clock. 
You sit down, chairs a respectful, appropriate distance from one another. Except his knee bumps yours under the table.
You flinch. He does not.
You glance at him. He’s reading the agenda like he’s not tracing circles on your thigh under the table with his fucking pinky finger.
“I will end you,” you whisper.
“Promises, promises,” he murmurs back, not even glancing up.
Across the table, someone coughs. Someone else mutters, “Tension in here is wild today.”
You cough. Sip your coffee. Do not look at him again.
---
He’s not even trying to hide it. He should be. He knows that. But you’re sitting there in that blazer and those glasses and he can still feel your nails on his back from the night before and, honestly, restraint is done.
You’re both adults. Consenting. Employed. You just happen to be very recently wrecked by each other and now expected to discuss budget reallocations.
He leans back in his chair. Tilts his head and you shoot him a glare that could kill a man at twenty paces.
He grins wider.
Then your dean says “Any… questions about cross-departmental collaborations?” 
And before anyone else can speak, Greg, the adjunct from two months ago—the one who tried to flirt with you at the mixer—leans forward. “Actually, yeah. Is Psych and Education… working together on something lately? Seems like there’s been a lot of overlap.”
The room goes dead silent.
Your head turns. Slowly. 
Steve just smiles. Cool. Calm.“We’re exploring some deeply engaged, hands-on strategies.”
You choke on your coffee.
Half the room does too.
“Very experiential,” he adds, not missing a beat.
Your face is burning. “Well,” you cut in, voice tight, “we have been reviewing active learning outcomes. Long-term retention. Depth of field experience.”
He nearly loses it. You don’t look at him again. But his pinky? Still brushing your thigh.
Once the meeting wraps you find him in a quiet hallway, tugging him into an empty office. “You’re going to get us fired.”
He presses you against the door. Grinning like a goddamn devil.
“You’re glowing,” he says. “You should see yourself.”
“I’m glowing because I haven’t slept and you won’t let me function like a normal person.”
“Oh, no, sweetheart. You’re glowing because I made you come three times last night and moan my name into my sheets like a prayer.”
You stare at him. Your pulse pounds.“You’re an asshole.”
“You love it.”
And when he kisses you, hard and fast and deep—hand braced against the door, tongue slipping into your mouth like he owns it—You let him. Because for once? You’re not hiding and neither is he.
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You’re not technically doing anything wrong. You’re walking. Talking. Drinking bad coffee from the Student Union and arguing over whether your classes should collaborate on a capstone project next semester. Totally professional.
Except you’re standing just a little too close, your laugh is just a little too soft, and he keeps nudging your elbow like he can’t help himself.
“You seriously think your students could handle a shared project with mine?” you tease. “They’re used to watching Fight Club for extra credit.”
“That happened once,” he grins. “And it was deeply psychological.”
You snort. Sip your coffee, and then—you hear it.
“Okay, wait—are you guys, like, together?”
You freeze.
Steve tenses beside you.
You both turn.
It’s one of his students. Freshman. Wide-eyed. Holding a psych textbook and a half-melted iced latte.
“I mean,” she stammers, “everyone’s been kinda wondering? You guys are always... around each other. And you’re smiling. A lot. And he’s nicer now? Which is weird?”
You open your mouth but nothing comes out, and before you can craft the neutral, chill, professional response you should give, Steve speaks. “Yeah. We’re seeing each other.”
Your head snaps toward him.
What. You blink.
“Oh. Cool. Okay. Sorry. Just—yeah. Cool.”  She scurries off like she witnessed something she shouldn’t have.
You stare at him. He stares back.
“Steve—”
“What? Was I supposed to lie?”
“No, but—” You look around. Lower your voice. “You just labeled it.”
“Because that’s what it is.”  His voice isn’t loud. But it’s firm. Frustrated. Exposed. 
“I’m tired of pretending I don’t want to kiss you in the hallway. I’m tired of not calling this what it is because we’re scared someone might see.”
You blink, the beat of your heart hammering.
“So yeah,” he says, shrugging, voice sharper than he means it. “We’re seeing each other. Is that really so bad?”
You don’t answer.You can’t.
 Because the worst part? It’s not that he said it.
It’s that a part of you needed him to.
---
💬 I didn’t mean to say it like that. 💬 But I meant it. 💬 So maybe that’s okay?
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You tried.
God, you tried.
You retreated into the fortress of your work, your planner, your independent woman armor. Told yourself you didn’t need him to say it. That it was better to keep things unspoken. Safer. But it’s been two days, and nothing feels good. Not your coffee. Not your playlists. Not even the jazz that usually soothes your racing thoughts.
All you can think about is the way he said it.  
We’re seeing each other. Like it wasn’t terrifying. Like it wasn’t fragile. Like it was true.
And suddenly, you’re in your car. Keys in the ignition. Your pulse screams in your throat.
You don’t knock. You should, but when he opens the door, you’re already stepping inside. Already yanking your coat off. Already done pretending.
He opens his mouth.
You grab his shirt.
And everything else disappears.
---
He’s halfway through grading when you burst in like a storm, and he knows.
He knows this is the moment you stop running.
He doesn’t ask questions. Doesn’t speak, just pulls you into him the second your hands find his collar —fisting it, dragging him down, mouths crashing like you’re angry at how long it took.
You kiss him like it’s oxygen. Like you’ve been underwater for days. Like you’re angry at your own restraint and even more furious that it’s finally broken.
Your teeth graze his lower lip. He growls.
“You want to label it?” you gasp. “Then fucking show me what it means.”
That’s all it takes. The dam breaks. Clothes hit the floor—fast, frantic. You’re already walking backward toward his bedroom as he follows, tugging at your jeans, shoving your shirt over your head, lips never leaving your skin. Your bra unclasps without a word. He groans when it falls.
There’s a trail—shirts, socks, his belt undone, your panties half-hanging from one ankle. He kicks the door shut.
He lays you back against the mattress like he’s waited years for permission. Hands framing your face, body hovering, staring down at you like he can’t believe you’re finally here.
You pull him down like you’ll never let him go. Your mouths meet again—harder now, deeper, wet and filthy and full of everything unspoken.
His hands are everywhere. Palms dragging down your sides, cupping your tits, thumbing across your nipples until your back arches off the bed.
You writhe under him—hips rolling, legs spreading, breath coming in ragged bursts. Your fingers dig into his back, nails biting down hard enough to draw blood, and he moans into your mouth like he wants you to leave marks. Like he needs to wear them.
“I want all of you,” you whisper. “No more games.”
He pulls back just enough to look at you—eyes blown wide, breath shaking.
“Then take me,” he growls, thrusting forward, finally, filling you with a groan that sounds like a man being saved.
He fills you completely. Thick. Hot. Stretching you in that perfect, devastating way.
Your mouth drops open on a gasp. Your hands clamp around his shoulders. He holds still, forehead against yours, both of you shaking from the sheer relief of it. Of finally being here.
“Holy fuck,” he pants.
“Move,” you whisper. “Don’t you dare stop.”
He fucks you like he’s learning you. Like he wants to leave something behind inside you. Not just heat, not just release—but a memory.
His rhythm is fast, deep, hungry. His hips slap against yours with delicious force, the wet sounds between you obscene and beautiful. Your legs wrap around him, ankles locking at his back. You meet him every inch of the way. Body to body. Mouth to mouth. Eye to eye.
He groans your name into your skin like a man being saved. You kiss his throat, his jaw, the hollow of his collarbone—dragging your tongue along the sweat-slick skin, biting down when the angle hits just right.
“You feel so fucking good,” he rasps.
“So do you,” you breathe. “Harder.”
He gives it to you. All of it. Every thrust hits deeper, rougher, more desperate, his hands everywhere—your waist, your ass, the back of your neck—gripping like he needs to keep you grounded, needs to know you’re here.
You’re close. So fucking close. And when he slips a hand between your bodies—fingers finding your clit with practiced, perfect pressure—it’s over. You come shaking, gasping, clinging to him like he’s your center of gravity, like letting go would destroy you completely. Your whole body pulses around him, pleasure ripping through you like a damn breaking and clinging to him like he’s your center of gravity
He follows with a whine—hips jerking, cock twitching, spilling inside you with a groan that’s half-relief, half-prayer. He buries his face in your neck and you hold him there. Both of you panting. Wrecked.
It’s hot.
It’s filthy.
It’s honest.
And when he finally lifts his head, presses his forehead to yours, lips brushing yours like a question. You already know the answer. Because there’s no going back. Not now. Not ever.
You’re both still breathing hard.
He hasn’t moved. You haven’t told him to. His chest is pressed to yours, skin tacky with sweat. Your thighs are sore, legs still wrapped around him like your body hasn't figured out how to let go yet. He shifts—just barely—and you both groan.
“Jesus,” he murmurs, voice gravel-thick. “You okay?”
You nod. Then shake your head. Then nod again.
“That was—”  You laugh once, breathless. “You ruined me.”
“Good,” he whispers, kissing your jaw. “That’s what you asked for.”
He pulls out slowly, carefully, and you both hiss—too sensitive, too much, too good. You twitch as he slips free, and you feel it—him, everything—slick between your thighs, your skin flushed and trembling.
You reach for him instinctively, fingers brushing his stomach, not ready to break the contact. He catches your hand and brings it to his mouth. Kisses your knuckles like they’re holy. Then your wrist. Then the inside of your forearm, slow and reverent.
“Don’t move,” he says, already rolling off the bed, standing naked and still hard, but now focused.
You don’t. Because you can’t.
He comes back with a warm washcloth and a glass of water. Kneels at the edge of the bed like he’s about to worship again.
You spread your legs without being asked. Your thighs tremble when the cloth touches you—warm, wet, gentle. He moves slow. Careful. His eyes are locked on yours the entire time.
He wipes away the mess between your thighs, catching what he left inside you, what leaked down to the backs of your legs, what you’re still clenching around like your body can’t bear to lose it.
“That okay?” he asks, voice quiet now. Real.
You nod again. And then he leans in—mouth just above your thigh—and licks.
Just once. Just to taste it.
Your breath stutters.
“Couldn’t help it,” he says, eyes dark, lips shiny.
He climbs back into bed, slides under the blankets, and pulls you onto his chest. You melt into him—sated, spent, but still buzzing from the way he holds you like he means it. One hand slides between your legs again—not to start anything, just to rest there. Fingers lazy and warm against your pussy, palm cradling you like he wants to remind you that you’re his now.
“Still full of me,” he murmurs, voice smug and sweet at once.
You hum. Kiss his collarbone. “Still throbbing.”
“Same.” His cock twitches against your hip.
You don’t do anything about it.  Not yet.
“I want more,” you whisper.
“You can have it.”
“Later.”
“Later,” he echoes, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “For now just… stay.”
You do. And when you fall asleep with his hand between your legs, his cock warm against your thigh, and his heartbeat under your cheek? Well, it’s the safest you’ve felt in years.
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💬 You guys. YOU GUYS. 💬 What. 💬 I just saw them arguing over who gets the last blueberry muffin at the café and it was the most sexually charged thing I’ve ever witnessed. 💬 Was he wearing that tight henley again??? 💬 She literally called him a smug bastard and he just said, ‘You love it when I’m smug,’ and winked. I need a cold shower. 💬 Are they married yet or are we still suffering through foreplay energy? 💬 They’re disgustingly perfect. I love them. I hate them. I want them to adopt me.
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It’s finally the end of the semester and you and Steve have your Joint Panel Presentation. The room’s full of students trying to pretend they’re not staring. You and Steve walk in together, completely unbothered, radiating power couple energy like it’s built into your DNA. You finish each other's sentences. Your banter is lethal.
💬 OKAY NO ONE PANIC BUT THEY JUST WALKED IN TOGETHER 💬 they always do that tho?? 💬 NO. LIKE. TOGETHER. TOGETHER. 💬 she’s wearing his hoodie. THE GRAY ONE. 💬 I saw him grab her coffee cup and drink from it without asking I am unwell. 💬 he pulled out her chair and she rolled her eyes and said “you’re not charming, you’re annoying” and he just SMILED LIKE IT WAS FOREPLAY 💬 I am filing an HR report against their sexual tension 💬 bold of you to assume HR doesn’t ship them harder than we do
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You still fight.
Over coffee. Over pedagogy. Over who forgot to return the whiteboard markers to the supply closet. But now? The fights end with your back against a wall and his mouth on yours, or his smug grin wiped off with one whispered threat in the break room.
The fire never died. It just evolved.
You pass him in the hallway and he grabs your hand like he has every right to it. Like you’re the thing he reaches for without thinking. You grade together. You share playlists. You present on collaborative learning and co-teach a lecture where everyone leaves sweaty and confused about the nature of attraction.
You're not the professors they expected.
You're the professors they fantasized about but never believed were real.
You’re chaos. You’re love. You were so in love it was exhausting for everyone else around you.
You’re in his lap during planning meetings.
He keeps your nameplate on his desk.
He carries your stupid frog pin on his bag like a badge of honor and threatens students who joke about it.
He kisses you in the copy room. On the quad. Behind the lecture hall door after you give a student-teacher speech that makes him feel like he’s never known pride until you put it in words.
The students ask when you're getting married.
He doesn’t even pretend to be flustered anymore.
“Not yet,” he always says. “But she’s already mine.”
And you? You never correct him.
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336 notes · View notes
simmerandwrite · 10 months ago
Text
electric touch (part 1)
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Pairing: Bucky x medical team! reader
Summary: Getting a spot on the field medical team was your dream. And your closest work friend Bucky Barnes finally asking you out? That was the cherry on top of your good news. Now all you had to do was pass your training week. Seems easy enough until you’re faced with someone who doesn’t want to see you win.
Warnings: abuse of power, verbal abuse, physical assault, some PTSD (but none of these are because of Bucky!!!!)
Wordcount: 7k
Part 2
Notes: hello! Are you hungry for a lil slice of ‘who did this to you’ pie with a big dollop of protective Bucky Barnes on top? Dig in!! I aim to be as nondescript as possible for the reader but I will note reader is shorter than Bucky and wears glasses. Thank you for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts! please consider reblogging, it helps my work reach more lovely people here on Tumblr. <3 merci!
---
Your regular lunch dates with Bucky started unintentionally. In fact, your friendship with Bucky had started that way – very unintentionally.
In retrospect, you couldn’t believe you had been late on your first day. You had intentionally set extra alarms to make sure you got to Stark Industries early.But you couldn’t control the inconsistencies of the New York subway system. When you skirted into the training room, only one seat was left – beside Bucky Barnes himself.
It was funny to think that the mandatory onboarding applied to new Avengers, too.
Of course, you knew who he was – the former Winter Soldier – but you didn’t realize he had to sit through the boring health and safety discussions and HR seminars like everyone else. When the first lunch break arrived, you turned to him and asked if he wanted to join you for lunch at the burger place down the street.
Initially, it looked like he was fighting off the urge to decline, but then he said: “Sure.”
Your conversations were very stilted in the beginning, which you didn’t mind. But as the week carried on, you felt the foundations of a friendship.
(He told you, later, that he appreciated your kindness that first day. That he had been really fucking scared to sit in that room with strangers judging him. He liked that you treated him like a normal person.)
It had grown organically since then – but you were simply just work friends. Your roles at Stark Industries slash The Avengers Initiative didn’t always overlap, but you did occasionally see him in the halls or if he happened to be by medical when you were working. Then, one day, you saw him eating alone in the cafeteria and you dropped down across from him to catch up.
Then lunch turned into a routine for you both. Typically on Wednesdays you’d sit together, if Bucky wasn’t on a mission or you weren’t on the night rotation. Sometimes Sam or Steve or some of the other nurses joined you, but secretly, you liked when it was just you and Bucky. Sometimes it felt like he preferred it that way too.
“So, guess what?” You sat down on the chair across from him, your tray knocking against his. He slowly moved his eyes from the pages of his book – he almost always had his nose in a book at lunch, regardless of the company – and matched your smile.
“I take it you got good news?”
You searched his face then frowned. “Wait, do you already know? That’s not fair.”
“Sam showed me the roster.”
A groan rumbled from your chest. “Boo.” You tipped your head to look at him as you paused. “Can you just pretend you’re about to hear this for the first time?”
Bucky smirked, putting down his book and politely stacking his hands to give you his full attention. “Sure. Start again?”
“Guess what?” You repeated, rolling your eyes.
“I’ve got no clue, doll. What?”
“You are looking at the newest member of the field medical team!” The chair legs squeaked as you danced in celebration.
“Congratulations,” Bucky replied, a wide smile crossing his face. He reached out and offered his fist, which you met with your own. You knocked your knuckles into his twice then wiggled your fingers at one another - a silly secret handshake you had invented together over a Taco Tuesday lunch one day, mostly out of annoyance to Sam.
You deflated afterwards, though, as reality set in. “Hopefully I can make it through training next week. It’s going to be hard but.. I can do hard things.”
Bucky reached over and grabbed your hand, holding it for a moment though he quickly pulled back. “You’re going to do great. You wouldn’t have been picked if you weren’t capable. You’re more than ready and, well, uh, I’m proud of you.”
You smiled, glancing down to where his hand had briefly made contact with yours. It felt.. hot, for some reason. You resisted touching the skin there. This had been happening more than you wanted to admit recently – a new spark when you saw him, when you touched. You thought you had easily avoided the possibilities of a developing crush on Bucky but.. something had been brewing for you. And maybe the same was happening with him, too - when you thought about how he looked at you, how considerate he was…
You wouldn’t know with any certainty unless you asked and you were way, way too scared to ask. Ruining your friendship may not be worth it. Especially if you were joining the medical team that would accompany the Avengers on some of their missions. What if you made it weird? What if you went on one date and it was terrible and your friendship never recovered? What if you asked Bucky out and then he laughed in your face and –
“We should go out and celebrate,” he cut you off. 
Wait. Was his voice shaking?
You met his eyes. Was he nervous? “I still.. I have to pass the training.”
“I know,” he nodded. “And tomorrow I leave for.. an undisclosed location for the week. So. When I get back and you’ve crushed the training and have the new job title, let’s go out.”
“Just you and me?” You asked, swallowing hard.
Bucky took a deep breath. “Yeah. If you..”
“Like a date?”
He closed his eyes, face scrunched up. It was cute. “Yeah, like a date, sweetheart. Just you and me.”
Okay, well, okay. Yes. Okay, that answered your question. You supposed the risk was being taken either way. There. He did the thing before you could even talk yourself out of it.
You smiled, nervously adjusting your glasses. Oh my god. You hadn’t even answered. With eyes wide, you reached for him. “Yes, that sounds.. that sounds wonderful. I’d love that.”
He grinned, squeezing your hand. “For a second there, I really thought I screwed all this up.”
---
Bucky couldn’t believe it had taken him this long to finally just do it. Asking you out had been at the top of his list for a long time and although it scared the shit out of him, this follow-up feeling of anticipation had been totally worth it. Now he just needed to get through a grueling mission with a sweet reward at the end – a date with you.
You- the first stranger who treated him like a regular person. You - who cared so deeply about your job. You - who seemed to always hear his snarky comments and always laughed, giggled, snorted, at them. With a smile that could make his entire body warm up. 
You. He couldn’t wait for that damn date. 
A date was the scary next step. But he was tired of waiting and tired of denying his feelings. And thank god you had reacted just as positively. The foundation of your friendship was so important to him but he had a feeling things could be even better. He prayed he wouldn’t fuck it all up.
When he showed up at the compound early in the morning to get on the jet, Bucky was surprised to see Sam prepping in the pilot’s seat.
Sam jumped in with an answer before the question even left Bucky’s lips. “Natasha had to join Clint on the Belize mission, last minute. So it’s you and me, pal.”
Bucky rolled his eyes. Though he wasn’t mentally prepared for a week with Sam, he could handle it. Bucky was certain he could handle anything that he faced this week, knowing it was your face on his mind keeping him going.
As you crossed his mind again, another thought surfaced.
“If you’re here, who’s taking over the training for the med field team?” Bucky reached for his phone then cursed. They were going dark for this mission so he’d left his phone in his locker. Although he had sent you a message after he got up that morning, he wanted to reach out one last time and send some extra reassurance your way. 
“Don’t worry,” Sam knocked his shoulder, standing up to do a final check of the gear. “Your girl is in good hands.” Sam added in a wiggle of his fingers in Bucky's direction.
You weren’t Bucky’s girl.. yet. He didn’t feel bothered by the term. In fact, he loved it and so badly wanted you to be okay with him saying it some day too. Though it was still worth correcting Sam. It didn’t seem fair to put a label on something without consulting you first. Not to mention Sam’s teasing about you and Bucky had been going on for months and Bucky did not want to indulge him.
“She’s not mine,” Bucky replied, scrubbing a hand down his jaw.
Sam carried on. “Boone is doing the training protocol instead, but I’ll manage the final evaluations next week.” 
A quiet groan escaped Bucky’s lips. “Boone is a jackass.”
“I don’t disagree that he can be a bit too self assured - but he has proved himself in the field and will be a great mentor to this cohort.”
“Wasn’t he one of the agents Steve benched a few months ago - after his annual physical? What’s the term they used - he was doping?”
Sam sighed. “He was clean but a couple of his buddies were thrown out. But Boone is good, Buck. She’s gonna be fine.” With a final glance at the screen between them, Sam clapped his hands. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?”
---
When you applied for the job at Stark Industries for their medical team, you weren’t entirely sure what the role was going to entail. Your years of working as a nurse at the busiest emergency room in Chicago had given you plenty of experience with, well, everything and anything imaginable. You were always prepared for the unexpected.
What you hadn’t expected though was the pace - it was significantly slower than you imagined. Most of your days revolved around small visits from agents for anything from minor injuries and lacerations to annual physicals. On occasion you’d support when the Avengers came in, but usually they worked directly with Dr. Cho or the other on site doctors.
You figured the cure for your unrelenting desire for more was to get on the field medical team - a group of agents and trained nurses who accompanied the Avengers or other strike teams on missions, acting as a resource for any injuries to civilians and team members alike. Not every mission needed a team and sometimes it would involve last minute travel, but you didn’t mind.
When your application for transfer was finally accepted, you couldn’t get over how excited you were. You had been working hard for months getting into better shape, especially your stamina. Sure, maybe you could do a bit more when it came to targeted strength training but you had qualified on the initial testing to even get into the training level, so you’d be fine.
You could do this.
Truthfully, you were really excited about it. And Bucky had sent you the most encouraging message before he left that morning and you just.. You knew you could do this.
Bucky's words echoed: “...you wouldn’t have been picked if you weren’t capable. You’re more than ready and, well, uh, I’m proud of you.”
You were going to do this well and you were going to make yourself proud, too.
Most of your excitement depleted when you walked into the gym though. You joined the rest of the agents in the training group and braced yourself when you saw Agent Nathan Boone standing with his tablet, calling out names for attendance. 
“Wilson had to suit up as Falcon and jump on a critical mission this morning so I’ll be running the training program this week,” he explained as he sized up his group, which included you plus another half a dozen training agents. 
Without a doubt, Boone was the worst replacement for Sam you could think of. Boone exuded a confidence you couldn’t quite wrap your mind around, given his frat guy personality. Hiding behind his smarmy grin, linebacker build and perfectly coiffed hair - he was a real jackass. 
You tried not to let your mind race as Boone walked you all through the upcoming week of training. You’d be going over everything from basic self defense skills to hand to hand combat strategies to overall endurance drills. Then he explained that next week it was Sam Wilson who’d be doing the final evaluations.
“So let’s prove to him you’re all a good batch, okay?” Boone’s demeanor shifted as he got into his coaching mode. “Let’s start with a warm up run. Onto the treadmills.”
This wasn’t your first interaction with Boone, though you weren’t sure he would remember you. 
During your first few weeks you’d been responsible for doing the annual physicals for most of the agents. It had been a very repetitive (and boring) assignment, until some anomalies came up in the test results. A few agents, including Boone, had weird things flagged on their blood and urine tests - mostly markers that indicated steroid use. Which was completely against standards for agents and employees at Stark Industries. 
One of them, some bulky aggressive asshole, tried to convince you to look the other way but you had ultimately reported it. The fallout caused a huge uproar between the medical team and the agents, with the consequence coming down on a handful of agents who were fired due to drug use. Boone had escaped that fate somehow, passing his re-test with perfect results. And even though HR promised you it was a sealed case, you were always worried it had left a bit of a target on your back.
Nothing had come from it. The next round of physicals you assisted with didn’t involve any of those field agents and no other concerns had been flagged. Everything seemed back to normal.
In fact, you had seen Boone once since that whole controversy. A few months ago you passed him flirting with one of the admins in your department but you kept your head down and ignored him. That was it.
Hopefully the week of training wouldn’t be soured by your history with him but you figured it was safest to go in with an open mind. 
Thankfully, by the end of your run, as you were moving onto some basic tactical drills, he continued treating you just like everyone else. Generally firm and distant overall, but nothing strangely out of the ordinary. His barked orders were delivered to everyone evenly. If he had any recollection of your connected history, he didn’t bring it up.
The first day of training had been tough, especially since you still had a few extra hours of work to log afterwards. When you returned to your reporting station in the medical wing, you had to really settle your mind down and talk your way through the unkind thoughts racing around your brain.
You could do this. 
The second day focused exclusively on muscular endurance, which wasn’t really your strong suit but you managed to keep up with the group all the same.
Boone had the entire cohort going hard - with a lot of tough but constructive encouragement coming from him along the way. When one of the other trainees dropped their barbells, it seemed to irritate Boone immensely too. He let out a few curses as he helped them pick the weights back up then apologized for his reaction but the flare of anger was evident. 
When you were all heading back to the locker rooms, it was one of the other agents muttering about ‘roid rage’ that raised a red flag for you. 
It was during the third day of training that you felt the first tug of resistance with Boone. It was small things that you couldn’t help but file away. The way he delivered supportive commentary to everyone else in the group but only gave you critical feedback. During one of the practical scenarios, he undermined all your answers.
“I see why you’d think that way if you’ve never done this before but I can tell you by experience, it wouldn’t work. Bit of an amateur way of looking at things, actually. You need to do better if you’re going to be in the field with experts. Are you sure you passed the interview for this role?”
He said things in a way that didn’t always seem personal to you, but he certainly delivered them in a condescending tone. 
But, maybe, well, maybe you were just reading into things. You were feeling tired already and not really sleeping, so your focus was a bit off. 
Yeah, you could do better, strategize better, think things through in a better way.
On the fourth day, after a morning of weapons training and spending time at the range, the session moved onto sparring drills. It was quite basic - Boone walked the group through easy to follow hand to hand techniques, spending time here and there with each person to adjust their form. 
Everyone who qualified for the med team had to pass certain physical testing standards already. You had been working hard in the gym for months to get your mind ready, though you knew you weren’t very experienced in anything related to defensive techniques.
When he got to you following one of the scenarios, there was a firm frown on his face. “You need to be less in your head.”
You nodded, flexing and stretching your hands out. “Okay. Uhm okay, well, do you have any tips on how to–”
He was quick to cut you off. “Figure it out. I don’t have time to teach you critical thinking skills.” Following a sharp finger snap, he pointed directly at you. “And what’s with the glasses?”
“Ran out of contacts this morning, but I can do without them if I need to. Its–”
“They’re a safety risk.”
He didn’t care for your explanation or offer you any other advice, instead just muttering something as he moved on and tapping something into the tablet. None of his feedback had been helpful. Christ, you figured maybe it was worth starting a list to consult with Sam about following your evaluation instead. 
You just had to get through one more day with Boone. You were tired - down to your bones, from the physical and mental work during this week.
But it was nearly the weekend and that meant next week was approaching. Most importantly, the training would be done and you would have a real date with Bucky on the books, too. You couldn’t wait.
---
The last training day was mostly a culmination of everything you had gone over from the week. There was more endurance testing, some strength and performance work and the day ended with more sparring and situationals. 
You knew this was the light at the end of the tunnel. And when everything was wrapping up, you were relieved to finally be done with taking instructions from Boone, too.
Until his final speech. “You’ve been a great group and I would say most of you are ready for next week. Wilson will be impressed.” After a few more notes and instructions for the following week, he dismissed everyone. As you headed back towards the locker room, he called your name.
That made your stomach drop. He waved you back over towards the mats.
“I just wanted to give you a heads up,” Boone started slowly, eyes glancing around the empty room before he looked down at his tablet screen. “Here is the report on your training this week.” He turned the device so you could read over it.
After the first line, you took it from his hands. “Wait - what?”
“I just don’t think you’re ready.” Boone crossed his arms. “You’ve got the medical knowledge, sure. But the rest of it, even if you had another two months to train, I’m doubtful.” He took the tablet back and continued scrolling, as if he hadn’t just delivered such a disappointing blow to you. “It’s up to you whether you still want to do your test with Sam next week, but if I was in your shoes, I’d tap out.”
You swallowed hard, head tipped slightly to the side as you took in what he was saying. “That doesn’t make any sense. I kept up with everyone here this week.”
“This is a controlled environment; I don’t think you can hack it in the field.” Boone shrugged. “Like I said, you’re more than welcome to do your evaluation but I don’t think this will impress The Falcon enough to solidify your spot on the field team.”
“Good thing you’re not in charge of this decision then,” you bit in return, taking a step back. It felt like he was egging you on and you didn’t like it. Even worse that you were alone with him in the gym. “I don’t have to prove shit to you.”
“You don’t have to, or you simply can’t?” He countered, tossing the tablet to the side as he crossed his arms. He sized you up, eyes drawing up the shape of your body. “Let’s try something.” He motioned to the mats. “I’ll give you another chance to change my mind about that report. Maybe I misread your abilities and intentions.”
You knew the right thing to do would be to walk away and ignore how he was antagonizing you. But a tiny voice in the back of your head kept reminding you that you were good, that you had earned your place here. That you needed to show him that. 
No, you didn’t.
Yes, you did.
You took a deep breath and stepped forward, placing yourself in the middle of the mat. “Fine. Let’s do it.”
Boone laughed, standing in front of you. He scanned you over again. “Scenario. You’re in the field, there’s a civilian who needs medical attention. You’re alone with them as everyone else explores the area for threats. But, it's night time, it was a busy bit of action and –” Boone reached over and pulled your glasses off. “And you lost your glasses in the chaos.”
Before you could protest about the logistics of this stupid scenario, he threw them to the side.
You shook your head and immediately stepped back. “What the fuck?”
“Maybe you should have worn your contacts today.” He replied and this time, there was something more at the edge of his words. Something unsettling.
This was a bad idea. But he was waiting for you to reply, to call his bluff and tap out. You growled to yourself and stayed.
“The civilian has a broken limb so you’re on the ground beside them.” Without even hesitating he placed both his hands on your shoulders and shoved you down to your knees.
None of this made any lick of sense. This wasn’t a scenario you’d end up in. You wouldn’t be alone or you’d call for backup.
He continued without a second thought, moving to stand behind you, placing his hand on the crown of your head. “And someone comes at you from behind – now you’re compromised and so is your civilian.”
You sat there on your knees, chock still. A red flashing light was going off in your mind but for some reason, you stayed.
A low, grumbly laugh escaped him. “See? Not only are you a terrible nurse but you have no fucking instinct—”
You immediately swung your leg up to hook behind him, not sending him down to the ground but gaining enough of your own momentum to plot out your next move. Planting a foot, you lunged forward and grabbed his waist, pulling him towards the mat.
That really set off whatever anger had been simmering in him. The next thing you saw was the training mat as your face and torso were being shoved against it. 
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Your shouting felt useless as your body writhed under his weight. Your cheek dragged across the plastic mat as you moved, burning against your skin. “Get off of me, you—”
“Defend. Yourself.” Boone barked back, adjusting to grab your arm. He gripped your elbow, then twisted your wrist behind your back. A jolt of pain rushed down your shoulder. “Took me a few days but then I remembered your face.”
You cried out, squeezing your eyes shut. “Please just stop. What is—why are you—”
“Three of my friends, my brothers – you ruined their lives, you know that? They lost all their job prospects, they have fuck all left because of what you did. You know, we need that stuff - to keep up with supersoldiers. There is nothing fucking wrong with some pharmaceutical help. If I’m backing up Captain America, I deserve the boost.” With his knee pressing against your back, he leveraged himself to sit up a bit straighter. But his grip on your wrist remained, growing tighter and tighter. “If you had just turned the other way and ignored those tests—”
“I was doing my job,” you mumbled back at him. “They were the ones who broke the rules and—”
His voice hadn’t quite grown to shouting but the intensity grew. “And you are the one who suffers now, alright? And you sure as hell aren’t joining the field team. I’m going to make sure of it.”
---
All Bucky wanted to do when they got back to the compound was text you. It was late Sunday night but he didn’t care.
After the grueling week he and Sam had, Bucky took comfort in knowing soon enough he’d get to see you. He wanted to know about everything from last week - from training to everyday life, he just wanted to talk to you. Crossing the threshold from friends to something more was scary but during his long, sleepless nights, you provided a strange sense of comfort to him.
Without doing a dang thing. Just knowing you made him better, inspired him to be better and to be present. 
“Hey,” Sam tugged on Bucky’s arm before he headed to the locker room. “Medical check first. Then you’re free to send your little smiley face emojis to her.”
Bucky grumbled but didn’t have the energy to argue with Sam. The mission had gone well but hadn’t been the smoothest for either of them. While they both returned unharmed, Bucky knew coming down from these sorts of weeks properly was important.
Finally, after a clearance from the nurse and a quick shower - Bucky was turning his phone back on.
He dismissed all the messages from Steve and an Avengers group chat he liked to ignore then finally found his way to his conversation with you. Seeing a slew of your thoughts over the course of the week made him smile.
You: good luck this week - come back in one piece, please <3 
You: made it through day one and two, turns out my five-story walkup apartment is good for my cardio skills after all lol You: remind me of that next time I complain about the stairs
You: day three has proved that I do need to work on my upper body strength You: wanna be my personal trainer? ;)
You: miss you, hope everything is going safely You: this week has really kicked my ass
Your messages did peter off by Friday and although Bucky longed for more, he assumed you were probably just tired after the long week. Plus, the training wasn’t for the light of heart. Sam had shown him the schedule and although it was standard, its intensity was intentional. Not that Bucky doubted you - he knew you’d been preparing as best as you could since you had shown an interest in joining the field team months ago. But that could really exhaust someone by the end of it.
And tomorrow you had to power through a final evaluation with Sam too, so Bucky hoped you got to spend the rest of the weekend resting.
He dropped down onto one of the benches and planned his response.
Bucky: hey doll, made it back safe and sound Bucky: in one piece, I promise :) Bucky: can’t wait to hear about last week, I’m sure you did great Bucky: good luck tomorrow, I’ll come find you after the eval Bucky: sweet dreams 
---
Bucky felt a little bit silly, lingering outside the training gym. At least he wasn’t pacing, that would have been an even worse look. He leaned against the opposite wall to the doors, arms crossed.
Something just felt a bit off for him and, well, finally seeing you would help ease his mind. It was just strange – the lack of communication. Sure, he had sent his message quite late the night before but he assumed he might hear something back from you during the day.
But no, it had been radio silence. He could attribute it to your needing to prepare for your evaluation but that didn’t seem like enough of a justification. In all the times you and he had been friends, you always managed to send a reply.
He would just have to settle for an in person update, following your testing with Sam. Five other agents exited the gym by mid afternoon, but you never showed up at the door. 
Sam did eventually emerge, tapping quickly against his tablet. He came to a halt when he spotted Bucky waiting, arms now tightly locked behind his back.
Bucky looked over Sam’s shoulder, trying to glimpse into the gym before he met his eyes. “How’d she do?”
Sam let out an awkward laugh. “Well, she didn’t show. She sent me an email earlier saying that she was sick.”
Bucky’s brow furrowed slightly. “Oh.” 
“I know, weird. What’s even more weird though is that when I said we could reschedule her for another date, she tapped out.” Sam raised his shoulder to shrug then showed Bucky the screen.
Bucky scanned over the message and frowned. It was true. Your reply to Sam was short, explaining you didn’t want to reschedule and declined any further interest in the field team. That was it. You were out.
“Given how she sent me a five-paragraph essay explaining how excited she was to join the team, this seems out of character.” Sam tucked the screen under his arm and patted Bucky on the shoulder. “Give me an update after you talk to her.”
“What makes you think—”
“Oh, I already see your wheels turning. You’re doing the math on how quickly you can get to her place.” Sam called after him as Bucky turned to leave. “Let her know I can reschedule her anytime!”
---
You knew you couldn’t ignore Bucky forever. It was just.. it felt like too much, thinking of a way to reply. After what happened with Boone on Friday, every single thing in your life felt like climbing the steepest mountain.
It was absurd how quickly things had escalated. You should have just walked away the instant Boone brought up your evaluation. Getting on that mat with him was really fucking stupid and.. here you were.
You could barely remember how you got home Friday – dazed and confused and numb. After Boone finished screaming and you had stopped trying to fight back, you curled up on yourself. You fought back tears over the humiliation and pain, hands shaking as you grabbed your things from the locker room. One ridiculously overpriced cab ride later and you made it home to your studio in Astoria.
Then you cried in the shower and all the way to your bed - where you stayed as long as you possibly could on Saturday, dousing yourself in painkillers just to try and stay asleep.
You knew you needed to go to urgent care, or even just an emergency room - somewhere you could afford the x-ray. You had never broken a bone before but you had seen plenty of hand fractures during your time working in triage. You couldn’t make a fist, your hand was bruising up towards your wrist and the pain was excruciating. The image of Boone stomping on your hand and wrist as you tried to crawl away was imprinted in your mind…
You were stuck on the climb though. The mental battle of trying to figure out the best lie to tell the admitting nurses anywhere was daunting. Christ, how would you explain this?
You had to - you had to tell someone. The way Boone had flown off the handle, how he attacked you verbally and physically, he couldn’t get away with it. You knew the right thing to do but… fuck if you weren’t scared. He had made it pretty clear he’d be keeping an eye on you. And there was no way you’d be able to do your test with Sam now.
If you reported him, you’d probably have to get HR and the police involved and what if he denied everything and—
You ended up in a helpless loop every single time.
Saturday came and went. You only left your apartment to visit the nearest drugstore for a new compression bandage and more pain medication. Sunday passed by just the same. You skipped your normal spin class and barely spent time outside of your bed. 
The pain in your hand was growing worse and worse. You had to use your left hand to send Sam and your manager messages - because even just moving your right hand made your stomach swirl. And the guilt about not responding to Bucky was growing bigger and bigger too. 
How could you explain it? Boone had pressed your buttons and you pushed back and look what happened. How could Bucky be proud of you now?
Your phone had buzzed mid afternoon, just after you were supposed to be doing your session with Sam.
It was Bucky - worried and asking if you needed anything for whatever illness was plaguing you. 
You ignored it.
When he called, you ignored that too.
You were balled up on the end of your couch, eyes glazed over as another episode of your favourite show loaded up on Netflix. You knew you needed to eat something, that the pain medication on an empty stomach was a recipe for disaster. But… you couldn’t get up. Laying perfectly still with a bag of frozen vegetables on your hand was the closest thing to relief you had.
Then, someone was knocking at your door. The noise made you gasp, though you couldn’t move. You could ignore the noise along with everything else. It was probably just your downstairs neighbour back to complain about your TV again and –
Whoever was at the door knocked again, this time calling out your name. 
You recognized the voice.
Bucky.
He called your name out again. “Listen, I don’t care if you’re sick. I just want to make sure you’re alright. I grabbed some soup from that place I was telling you about.”
You sucked in a deep breath and pulled yourself up off the couch. You really, really wanted to see him - just the idea of his smile made everything feel a bit better. But then you couldn’t hide anymore and… hiding felt safe.
“I’m okay,” you finally replied as you got approached. “Feeling better but I might be contagious, Buck.”
You sensed some relief from him as his feet shuffled on the other side of the door. “Sweetheart, I.. I can’t even get sick, okay? I just need to see you.”
“My apartment is a mess.”
“I don’t care.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Bucky, I’m.. I’m not at my best right now.”
“I don’t care.” He said your name once more. “Please.”
You pulled up the hood of your sweatshirt then reluctantly reached for the door knob.
---
When you finally opened the door, Bucky was relieved. But when you immediately turned away to return to your couch without a word, his relief felt misplaced. Something was wrong. Your sudden weekend illness and dropping out of the new job training weren’t adding up to anything that felt good.
He was worried.
Bucky had never been inside your apartment before. There were a handful of occasions after work or some happy hour thing when he dropped you off but this was new. He liked the idea of seeing your home but he wished it had been different circumstances. 
Home was a little studio, with a compact kitchen ahead of him across from the door. Beside it was a cozy living room area separated from the bed and windows, divided by a short bookcase. It was so very you and Bucky wanted nothing more than to just be there with you, scan over the books you like and curl up together on the couch.
But it wasn’t the time to daydream. Instead, he stepped into the kitchen to deposit the takeout bag, retrieving the soup before moving to where you were curling back up in your blankets. 
“How are you feeling?” He took another step closer but stopped when you leaned away from his approach. He took a seat opposite you and extended the container in your direction. 
“Yeah, I’m.. okay,” you replied with a shrug. “Thanks for the soup.” You took it from him, reaching across yourself awkwardly with a shaking hand, and rested it on your lap. 
He took the moment of silence to get a better look at you. Behind your glasses, your eyes were swollen, as if you had been crying. Bucky watched you carefully maneuver the spoon and it wasn’t lost on him you were favouring your left hand. In fact, your right arm was barely moving. 
“Do you need anything else? I could run to the pharmacy..” He trailed off as his eyes shifted to your coffee table, which was littered with an array of pill bottles. Mostly painkillers and what looked like a melting bag of frozen peas. And tucked under the table was… a half empty bottle of wine. Not exactly the type of self medication for a stomach bug or the common cold.
You closed your eyes, taking another taste of the soup before gently moving it to the table. “I think the worst of it has passed. Just.. tired now, I guess. I’ll be back at work tomorrow.” You smiled, just barely, then it disappeared as your eyes shut.
Bucky considered that the perfect opportunity to change the subject. Your name left his lips. It was quiet. You peaked one eye open to look at him.
“What happened last week?” he asked.
You laughed, though it came out quite empty. “Just five very intense, rigorous training days. I wasn’t great but.. I managed, I guess.” 
Bucky cut to the chase, though he couldn’t predict your reaction. “So how come you’re not doing the final evaluation?” 
A long sigh escaped you, rolling your eyes before leaning back again. You stared at the ceiling. “Should I just start adding you to all my correspondence with Sam?”
“Don’t be mad at Sam,” Bucky replied. “I asked him and he only told me because he was worried.”
You laughed again, with more of your body. The same emptiness remained and this time it seemed to cause you pain. You winced, swallowing an uncomfortable look on your face as you turned to peer at him. “I’m not mad at Sam. I’m mad at..” You shook your head. “At myself, I guess.”
“Why?”
“It doesn’t matter, alright? It’s over and I missed today and–”
“Sam offered to resch–”
“Bucky, it doesn’t matter!” You snapped this time, cutting him off. 
Bucky shook his head. Something else was going on. He had never seen you like this before - despondent and… broken. Sure, your friendship had rarely escaped the walls of work but the foundation between you both was solid. He had seen your ups and downs, and you had seen his too - recalling bad dates and ranting about missions and laughing over lunch and all of it. 
He knew you. The person sitting across from him, it wasn’t you. 
“Sweetheart, please tell me what’s going on.” 
Your eyes were closed again, head shaking. “Nothing is..” Your lip trembled. “Maybe you should just go..”
Bucky stood from the couch, but he didn’t move to the door. Instead, he crouched right in front of you. “If that’s what you really want, I’ll go, okay? I’d never stay if you didn’t want me here. But you opened that door for me. You could have already sent me away, soup in hand. I’m here right now because I care about you.” He said your name again, like a plea for you to look at him. “I can help, okay? Whatever is going on, I can help. Let me help, please.”
Your breath picked up, intertwined with winces of pain as you adjusted on the couch. You crossed your legs then moved your arms carefully, using your left hand to tear away your sweatshirt. Finally, you opened your eyes and extended your right arm to Bucky.
Despite being wrapped in a compression bandage, the swelling was evident on your fingers. Bruises littered your hand too and continued upwards to your t-shirt line. 
Bucky dropped to his knees, looking from your face down towards your arm. He whispered out your name, desperately trying not to fill in the blanks without getting more information from you. “What happened?”
You simply shook your head, swallowing whatever response was trying to escape. 
“Can I–” He motioned to your hand, cautiously reaching for it. You didn’t move, allowing him to unwrap the bandaging. You winced at the touch and change in pressure, eyes clamping shut again as you breathed deeply. 
Bucky skated his fingers along the side of your forearm, down towards your wrist and hand. Light shades of purple and blue decorated your skin but the swelling was what concerned Bucky the most. 
“I’m worried something is broken.” You finally said quietly, letting out another groan of pain as Bucky flipped your hand over to assess the underside. 
He wanted to reply with ‘yeah, no shit’ but figured that wouldn’t be helpful. If you hadn’t sought out medical attention by now, there was probably a good reason. You were smart, a nurse who could easily figure out her own symptoms. But something was stopping you. Embarrassment, guilt.. Maybe fear? 
Bucky was gentle as he held your hand. Christ, his mind was racing. “What happened? Did you fall? Did something go wrong last week?”
You shook your head.
Although there was one giant fucking obvious glaring answer to his next question, Bucky wanted to hear your response. Maybe you had fallen or dropped something on it this weekend. Maybe you had crushed it between a door or something, anything else than someone hurting you. Because the thought of anyone doing that, inflicting any intentional harm –
Bucky sucked in a breath and looked back at you. Your lower lip was already trembling again. He had to ask. He didn’t want to, but he fucking had to.
“Sweetheart, who did this to you?”
“I should have walked away, Bucky. I..” You immediately trailed off, head shaking again as you tried to collect yourself. 
With you, Bucky would be patient. He would always be patient. A few moments ticked by as he waited, still holding your injured hand in his. 
“It was supposed to just be a routine scenario, a test sort of thing I guess. But he was… he was volcanic. The anger erupted and he - he.. Bucky, I was just doing my job, it’s not my fault his friends lost theirs an-and he got so mad. I tried to get away but he just kept going.”
He said your name quietly. “Take a deep breath for me, okay?” You did, breathing in tandem with him a few times as you steadied yourself. “You’ve gotta tell me a name, please.”
After another deep breath, you nodded. “It was Boone.” You closed your eyes. “I think he’s taking drugs, steroids–again and he just.. I shouldn’t have engaged him at all. And I tried to get away once I realized he was freaking out..”
Bucky stilled, lips pulled into a straight line. “Hey, look at me.” He waited for you to meet his gaze. “This isn’t your fault.” God, he wanted to say so much more but the simmering anger below the surface was bubbling up. And that wasn’t important. You needed an x-ray and real medical attention. Then, maybe he could face the rage coursing through his bones. “Sweetheart, we’ve gotta get this looked at, okay?”
Reluctantly, your head shook. “I know. I just.. I don’t want to have to go to urgent care and explain what happened. I should have already gone and I feel so stupid about the whole thing and-and–”
He placed his free hand on your knee to stop you. “Okay. It's okay. I think I know where we can go. Let me make a few phone calls.”
---
PART 2
607 notes · View notes
zweiginator · 5 months ago
Note
"Maybe you should respect yourself more"
EM
Gives law student pat energy - maybe you're having angry hate sex after weeks of just hating each other
Thinking about this in the context of oral arguments!!! being paired with patrick and it’s all just an assignment but you’re both competitive and argumentative and now your grade is on the line. and the whole year patrick has been getting on your nerves; he never listens to a word you say, he steals your ideas, he mansplains concepts that you show a clear understanding of.
So as your professor reads off the pairings you’re looking throughout the classroom, realizing that she only has your and patrick’s names left from the roster.
It’s a month of avoiding each other. you don’t want the other to know your arguments, your counter arguments, the cases you meticulously searched for and rifled through for any relevant rule of law.
“Will you give me a hint?” patrick sneaks up behind you at the library.
“we aren’t supposed to work together.” you’re blunt about it, tilting your laptop away from him.
“It’s nine pm. nobody is here.”
“It’s not about that.”
you start to type again. patrick sits down next to you.
“arguments are tomorrow. i think you’ve done enough. don’t you have to, like, memorize it now?”
“can you stop acting like i don’t know what im fucking doing?”
“can you stop being a bitch and tell me what you’re arguing so we can argue it, get a good grade and fucking move on with our lives?”
you slam your laptop shut. “don’t fucking talk to me like that.”
and as you move to shove him away from you, he grabs your wrist.
“don’t fucking shove me.” he pauses before letting go of you. “nobody is here. we have to be at the courthouse at 8:30 tomorrow. it would be a lot easier if you just helped me out.”
you take your glasses off and furrow your eyebrows. “patrick, we are arguing against each other. and anyway, i don’t like you. i think you’re a prick. i think you’re a know-it-all. i think you’re spoiled and rude and entitled.”
he smirks. “anything else? i can go too.”
“i have to go.”
“no you don’t.”
and he grabs your wrist again. this time, he raises his eyebrows like he’s testing you. seeing how far he can take this.
“give me a hint.”
you get closer to him, your eyes flitting from his blown pupils to his pink, bitten lips. “beg me and maybe i’ll budge.”
“i’m not begging for anything.”
you grab your book bag and shove your textbook under your arm, flustered from him.
“i’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
and at 8 am sharp, you’re both at the courthouse. you’re early, you’re surprised he is too. patrick is smoking in the alley, dressed in a grey suit. you tug your pencil skirt down a bit further. and you hate to admit it, but patrick looks so fucking good and your nerves make your hands shake, the stack of notecards tucked inside threatening to fall onto the pavement.
he shakes his head at you as he puts the cigarette out under his shoe. and as he strides past you, he whispers in your ear.
“good luck, sweetheart.”
it’s so condescending, that it fuels your fire. and thirty joint minutes of arguments become heated. neither of you can tell who’s winning because your personal hatred for each other rears its angry head, threatens its way through your speech. the mock judge has to put his foot down when time is up.
“that was very, um—heated.” he straightens his documents , pushing his bifocals up his nose. “but i believe our winner is mister zweig. although id say this was close. i’d work on keeping composed; in practice this will have actual clients and reputation on the case. i’d sort out whatever animosity exists between you two before it interferes with your profession.”
patrick straightens his tie. he doesn’t take his eyes off you.
“yes, your honor. i agree completely.”
and in the hallway, you’re heated. you should’ve won. you knew the fucking rules. you knew the exceptions and the case law and you rebutted his arguments perfectly.
“don’t be mad. maybe next time?”
you grab his tie in your fist. for the first time, patrick looks truly taken aback by you.
“i fucking hate you.” you spit.
patrick doesn’t like that this shoots blood straight to his cock.
“no you don’t.”
your noses are touching. patrick backs you into the stairwell.
“we dont want to ruin our reputation, do we?”
“like you give a fuck about your reputation.”
patrick grabs your hand, pushing it onto his erection.
“right now i’d throw it all away.”
and you should rip your hand away, slap him across the face and walk away. you squeeze him.
he slams his lips against yours. his hand finds your jaw, fingers strong on the back of your head.
"i want nothing to do with you." you push him away, but his eyes are dark, his tie loosened. his lips are smeared with your lip gloss, mouth ajar. you taste cigarettes and spearmint.
but you go back for more, letting him back you against the wall. your hands yank his shirt from his trousers, feeling up his abdomen, his chest, up to his neck. you squeeze.
he yanks your hair back.
"you're not in control here."
"i'm not?" you yank on his tie.
"no. you're not."
he flips you around, pressing your cheek against exposed brick. it hurts. you don't care.
hooking a finger in your mouth, he smirks at you. "no fucking self respect." he uses his other hand to bunch your skirt up, forcing your panties to the side. "you fucking hate me. you don't want anything to do with me." he pushes another finger in your mouth. you choke. "but look at you." he takes his fingers out with a pop. you try to turn around to face him.
he's stronger than you. he fumbles with his belt.
"do you want me to fuck you?" he asks it lowly, against the shell of your ear.
"no." it's a blatant lie; patrick lets go of you.
but you just don't want to admit it. you don't move an inch. it's you that pulls him back into you. mumbling into his mouth how you don't want him, how you should've won.
he gnaws on your lip, forcing his tongue into your mouth as he hikes your leg up.
"but you didn't win." he wraps a hand around your throat. "i did."
he pulls himself out of his pants, and lines himself up before quickly deciding to turn you back around, so he can fuck you from behind.
"what's--"
"I'm not fucking making love to you." he shoves himself inside you. "i'm using you."
256 notes · View notes
rodentcarnival · 2 months ago
Text
Throw money at your problems | Hanni Pham
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summary: when you spill coffee on hanni by accident and instead of being normal you just throw money at her and become her biggest fan
warnings: none
tags: rich!y/n, idol!hanni, bit of crack 
wc: 1.6k
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rich people are known for being a bit out of touch with the general population. often not caring about what others do.
hanni wouldn’t say her girlfriend was heartless. quite the opposite actually.
in fact every time njz had a concert, right in the front row disguised as an extremely aggressive fansite was y/n, the same girl who now ran a twitter account with over 20k followers solely dedicated to posting hd pictures of hanni.
and to be honest, the pictures were hd. 4k. cinematic. most fans wondered what kind of job these fansites had to afford front row tickets, thousand dollar lenses, and the free time to follow their idol 24/7.
the answer? being the chaebol daughter of samsung. y/n lee.
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you met hanni at a coffee shop. well, outside of one.
she went to open the door. you meanwhile, were sprinting out with zero spatial awareness and a hot cup of coffee in hand.
CRASH!
and there goes your coffee and your new shirt. 
“I’M SO SORRY OH MY GOD HERE TAKE THIS,” you shouted, practically deafening hanni as you pulled a stack of bills from your wallet and shoved them into her hands without counting.
“i’m so sorry i should’ve looked where i was going, here i hope this covers everything i just ruined.”
to be fair, most of the coffee ended up on you and your expensive ass clothes that probably cost more than the coffee shop itself but that didn't matter to you. what mattered to you was that you just crashed into someone.
hanni blinked at the wad of cash in her hands.
“no this is way too much! this shirt was like fourteen bucks. i thrifted it! i’m good i swear.”
you tilted your head. “huh? aren’t shirts like... seven hundred at least?”
and that’s when hanni realized: oh. this girl is rich rich.
if only she knew she had just crashed into the y/n lee. heir to a tech empire. a girl who had never taken public transport and once thought a bag of chips cost $70.
you weren’t really allowed to leave the house alone. being a billion dollar baby made you prime kidnapping material. so sneaking out to buy coffee? this was your rebellious arc. 
“are you okay? the coffee didn’t burn you or anything?” hanni asked, genuinely concerned, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
you froze.
was this what love at first sight felt like?
“oh don’t worry about it,” you replied, despite the steam still rising off your clothes. “i didn’t like this outfit anyway.”
“really,” hanni laughed, “you look like you walked out of a fashion magazine.”
“this old thing?” you waved her off, praying she didn’t look too closely at the branding.
“here, i really can’t take this much money.”
before she could return the cash, you scribbled your number on one of the bills.
“in case that’s not enough to replace your shirt,” you grinned. “feel free to text me. you’re really pretty by the way!”
and then you ran. just full on sprinted back to your penthouse before your bodyguards realized you weren’t still fake shitting in the bathroom.
they probably thought you had ibs or something.
hanni stood there, stunned.
“…what the fuck?”
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you couldn’t stop thinking about her.
sure, maybe it was the mild concussion, or the $9,000 you accidentally gave away, but still. she seemed familiar.
so like any normal person, you spent the next three hours doomscrolling the internet looking through girl group rosters.
you were about to give up when you saw a thumbnail:
“OMG - hanni fancam ”
IT’S HER.
click.
you watched the entire performance. and then again. and then you had a crisis because the camera quality was not up to your standards. you could do better. you would do better.
and that’s how you became a fansite. not because you needed the money, but because you needed her.
COUGH, i mean you needed to show the world what she looked like in better quality. yeah totally what you meant. 
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meanwhile at the dorms, hanni walked in with literal stacks of cash.
“hey hanni, did you get my iced… what the hell,” minji paused mid sentence.
“did you rob a bank?” dani asked, squinting at her.
“she just... kept giving me money,” hanni muttered. “like, an endless amount. like, rich rich. like old money rich.”
hanni dropped the bills on the floor. one fluttered open, revealing your number.
“uhh... unnie,” hyein said, holding up her phone. “you might wanna see what dispatch just posted.”
BREAKING NEWS: bystander captures njz’s hanni pham and samsung heiress y/n lee talking outside a coffeeshop. new brand deal or new romance? 👀💞
“WHAT?! NO. NOTHING HAPPENED. IT WAS JUST SPILLED COFFEE,” hanni shrieked.
“spilled coffee and got a number,” minji smirked.
“guys it wasn’t like that-”
buzz.
manager: we need to talk.
“ah shit.”
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turns out when you're a walking headline, things escalate. fast.
you were summoned to your dad’s office, where he scowled behind a desk made of mahogany and your mistakes.
“y/n,” he sighed. “explain yourself.”
you fiddled with your sleeves. “i just wanted coffee. and to... touch grass.”
“you know how dangerous it is out there. if they don’t kidnap you, they’ll record you and put some nasty headline up.”
“i know,” you mumbled. “i won’t go out again.”
you were absolutely going out again.
“we’ll fix it,” your dad sighed. “maybe a brand collab. make it look like a business meeting.”
“sure, yes, perfect. thank you, love you.”
he narrowed his eyes. “and y/n?”
“yeah?”
“stop pretending to shit for three hours.”
NAUR! WHYYY! 
“okay…” 
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obviously, you went out again.
njz had a performance at kbs that weekend, and you had a front row ticket, the world’s most obnoxiously expensive camera, and a trench coat disguise. you also wore sunglasses indoors. you looked like a a person clearly trying to disguise themselves.
you weren’t sure why you were doing all this.
oh wait. yes, you were. because the most perfect girl to ever exist is performing.
you tried your best to capture every frame of her performance. even if your photos turned out a bit blurry and you nearly dropped the camera twice.
you were packing up when-
“Y/N. I KNOW YOU’RE HERE.”
...shit.
you turned. your bodyguards.
“y/n, don’t make this difficult.”
“LOOK. A BIBLICALLY ACCURATE ANGEL!” you shouted, pointing dramatically behind them and sprinting in the opposite direction.
now if only you remembered the mask part of your disguise and idk maybe not wear a big ass bright neon yellow highlighter hoodie. god forbid a girl wants to make a statement. 
seeing a trashcan on the way out there was only one reasonable choice, instead of throwing away the heavy ass backpack that was slowing you down, you decided its way more reasonable to throw away the hoodie your wearing.
there was no way in hell you were gonna throw away the pictures you worked so hard for. 
on second thought… taking your backpack off and sliding out the sd card from the camera. 
HAZZAH! problem solved, and just like that you just threw away a $10,000 camera but whatever you'll just buy another one. 
“YN STOP RUNNING”, with now multiple people running after you
FUCK HOWS THERE MORE PEOPLE?!?!? IS HE SELF REPRODUCING IN FRONT OF MY EYES OR SOMETHING
running into the back of the building you open a door that maybe was labeled “staff only” but you're basically vip. you kept running until you burst through a random door and-
five members of njz stared at you.
you stared back.
“uhhh.”
“SECURITY?” minji started.
“WAIT,” hanni said, eyes widening. “you’re the girl i spilled coffee on!”
“yeah... hi again.” you said sheepishly, i mean you did just run into her room like a mad man. 
heavy footsteps pounded down the hallway. you heard voices shouting your name.
panicking, you dove behind a curtain. hanni followed, pulling it shut.
“who’s chasing you?!”
“just... some snitches with walkie talkies.”
before hanni could question any further, your body guards ran into the room.
“excuse me you aren't supposed to be in here” dani points at the guards, they brush her off, not caring. 
“we thought we saw… a person of interest walking in here.” 
“you saw wrong” haerin states flatly. 
you start backing up more into the corner not before dropping your phone. 
“whats that noise” they approach your location closing in on the curtain in the corner.
“fuck, what do i do?” you looked at hanni, panicked.
and before you could even blink she pulls you in for a kiss with her back to the curtain, pinning you against the wall with her back to the curtain and her hands cupping your face. 
you were frozen. possibly dead.
a guard yanked the curtain back.
“gotcha- OH. sorry! my apologies ma’am!”
hanni turned, shielding you from being seen. “what the fuck is wrong with you? what if someone was actually changing?!”
the guard mumbled something and ran away, exiting the change room.
silence.
you blinked at hanni. she blinked back.
“uh,” you said with your face as red as a tomato. 
“so… wanna hang out sometime?” she grinned.
“yes.”
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flash forward to now: you sit in the crowd again. mask on, giant camera lens ready. you're basically undercover. you post every photo to your now very popular fansite account. hanni always likes the posts.
she still teases you about kissing you first. you tell her you saved the sd card from that day.
and sure, you still don’t know how to say “i love you” often, or express in words how much you adore her,
but you do know how to buy out multiple billboards for her birthday.
and maybe... that's the same thing.
kind of.
right?
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futbolfatale · 5 months ago
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Origin Story
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Pairing: Alpha Alexia Putellas/Omega Reader, Omega Mapi León/Omega Reader, Alpha Ingred Engen/Omega Reader,
Summary: You get invited to a Barca game by an Alpha at your school who wouldn't accept.
Tags/Warnings: Dubious consent, Bathroom sex, scent marking,
Note: Only is Mapi the only one in this but there will probs be a part 2 with the rest of the pack.
The only reason I've been writing lately is @insomniakisses who definitely doesn't know I exist but I love their blog.
Something about their writing has inspired me for better or worse.
Wordcount: 1.1K
When you got invited to the Barca vs Real Madrid Game by a girl at your college of course you accepted.  She was in a couple of your classes but all you knew about her is that she is an alpha and is kind of a dick. But you would be crazy not to know how expensive tickets are and surely she can’t be as bad as everyone says. But this girl surely has another motive for inviting you. It will come to light soon as you sit next to each other in the crowded stadium. Her scent is aggressive forward and fills the space around you it's almost like Lily and maybe an undertone of patchouli. Overall not the best when you're already surrounded by unfamiliar scents. 
You can’t help but grow excited as they walk out. Okay, so you may have a major crush on some of the players. By some you mean most but it makes since it’s pretty common knowledge that the different teams are packs. Which makes transfers even more devastating. Even so, everyone knows that Barca has two omegas already which is already more than most other packs. They differently don’t need another which is devastating to you but it's not like you could ever be with them anyway. It’s rare for a Futbal pack to mate with someone outside of the football world.
It’s around 20 minutes in before Maddie, whose name you’ve just learned, takes off her sweater revealing that she is wearing a Real Madrid jersey. “Are you seriously wearing that right now?” You ask incredulously. “Ya Real Madrid is going to win, I promise you. They are the superior team,” she responded as if you were stupid for thinking any different. “Barca is definitely better, they have a stacked roster.” You argue back, growing more annoyed. Most likely due to her attitude problem and overwhelming scent. “Real Madrid will win” She seems so assured of herself as if she can already see the outcome of the game. “That's never going to happen. I bet you Barca will win and If they don’t I will write your next essay for you.”. “Deal”
It's not even 10 minutes later that Hansen scores and you're left with a smile on your face. It’s a good feeling to know your rights. Maybe you’ll pick up a sweet treat on the way home. You deserve it after dealing with this idiot. But it's all worth it for free tickets. “I told you” You gloat but only a little. “They're going to pull through one goal doesn’t mean anything,” Maddie responds sharpley her scent turning sour. “One goal can be the difference between winning and losing” You count to praud her mostly for your amusement. “ You think I don’t know that. I know football better than you.” She growls her fangs obvious in her aggressive state. So maybe you fucked with her a little too much but god it was so funny. “Sorry,” You startle as Pajor scores. You definitely made the right choice when picking a team to support.
By the end of the game, you are bursting with excitement a 5-0 win is crazy. You can feel Maddie seething beside you but it doesn’t sour your mood. As you move to stand at the barricade watching the players trade jerseys and such. Then Mapi Leon comes to your section and you're practically vibrating as she strips off her jersey. She walks closer to you her scent is so strong probably from running for so long. “ Would you like it?” She asks looking directly into your eyes. It's like a shock to your system “Yes” You take it from her gratefully and she flashes a toothy grin. “You so pretty princess” Her voice is so low. “Thank you” You can’t help but blush as she sprints off to join her team.
You gather up your things and walk out of the stadium with Maddie. You are starting to feel overheated and are growing quickly annoyed by Maddie.  Her mood has only seemed to worsen since the end of the game. The heated feeling only grows as you move through the stadium. “I’m going to run to the bathroom before we leave.” You split off from Maddie not waiting to hear her response. You have all your things if she leaves you it won’t be the end of the world. You slip into the bathroom and lock yourself in. You lean against the wall and take a deep breath of the jersey. It smells strongly of citrus and has an undertone of cinnamon. It soothes some of the heat under your skin.
You startle as the bathroom opens and someone else steps inside. It takes a moment for their scent to register. Citrus and cinnamon same as the jersey. You open the stall door and peek out to see Mapi standing by the door looking directly at you. “I thought I could smell you in here” She hurried towards you and pushed you back into the stall. “What are you doing” You ask dropping the jersey as she grabs your wrist. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You smell so good” She nuzzles her face into your neck. “Let me have you please” She whispers her accent thicker than before. “You want me but you have Ona if you want an omega” You reason. Sure you want this but you want her to think clearly. “I can and have had Ona but I want you. Once I have had you im sure they will want you as well.” she pushes you into the wall and slides a hand down your pants. Her fingers trace along your cunt through your underwear. “Say yes please I need you” She whimpers into your shoulder tonguing at your scent gland. “Yes. Yes please” you moan rolling your hips against her hand. She slides her fingers past your underwear to rub at your clit. ‘Take me please I need it too bad.”You moan grinding against her. “Shh you can have it see” she slips two fingers inside you with ease. It makes you uncomfotbly aware of how slick you are. It only last a second before shes distracting you by moving her fingers and using her other hand to rub at you clit.
You cum twice before Mapi finally lets up. As you catch you breath she is collecting your things and straightening out your clothes and hair. “ Come with me we are having dinner tonight. Please,” she asks tacting on the please almost as an afterthought. “I'll go but I've got school tomorrow and I really can’t afford to miss any more of my lectures this semester.” You explain as the two of you head out of the stall. Mapi stops to wash her hands before leading you out of the stadium.
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bueckersbitch · 7 months ago
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Grace and Grit - paige bueckers x oc
chapter two: how you get the girl
𐙚 characters: hopkins!paige x oc
𐙚 warnings: small mention of vaping
𐙚 authors note: letting this one speak for itself! this is all fiction!! enjoy ;)
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Warm air flows through the cracked windows, Blaire stares at the girl beside her. Her golden hair was down, pushed all to one side, the bright blonde bringing out her sharp features, jaw prominent as her eyes were locked on the road, occasionally glancing over at Blaire, softly singing to the song that flooded the space between the two in the car. Angel-like glow radiating off of her as they passed the yellow streetlights. Blaire finds a way to pull her gaze away, now focused on her hand that rested in her lap, bright sapphire surrounded by gold, resting around her middle finger, a gift, her father giving it to her from Madagascar, a parting gift before he left for work in Australia. Other hand intertwined with Paige, Paige’s soft, warm hands grounding them in the moment, the warmth a direct reflection of the type of person Paige was, endearing, kind, big hearted, everything.
She felt her own hair blow into her lip gloss, Nars, Turkish Delight, over top her lightly lined lips, quickly moving her left hand to tuck it behind her ear. A familiar song now playing, How You Get The Girl, by Taylor Swift. Shocked, she turns to Paige, a smug grin across her face, “Paige…” She starts, although she’s quickly cut off “Don’t, I want you to feel comfortable, I know your obsession with her” Blaire hums, gently singing the lyrics, rubbing her lips together in an attempt to evenly coat the remaining lip gloss on her lips. She takes in her surroundings, the dark car having few decorations in it, a basketball car freshener that hung around the rearview mirror, and a photo of Paige, her Dad, and little brother, Drew, in the space in front of the steering wheel, two things that truly screamed Paige. Her love for her family, and basketball.
Paige focuses on living in the moment, maybe that's the reason why she is where she is today, putting her game and family first, so of course, she can’t help but take in the moment that is shared right now, in her car. She focuses on the road, deer trailing to the left, two, prancing around each other beneath the streetlight, spotting the incoming car, they leap away into the forest. Paige pretends to have a rough exterior, boasting in her competition's faces, after all, it’s why the people loved her so much, why she had highlights of her clipped together. She was fierce, never one to back down from a challenge. In reality, though, she was just a teenage girl living her dreams, decision day was right around the corner with school starting up soon, senior year. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind she would attend Uconn, past rosters stacked with greatness all around, thoughts about her future took her out of the moment, and so she slowly removes her hand from the steering wheel, turning up the music, attempting to drown out her thoughts while relishing in the look in Blaire’s eyes, embarrassment? Maybe. But Paige wished Blaire wasn’t afraid of showing who she really was. Paige was as observant as she was extroverted, noticing the front Blaire puts on, the fact she only really had four friends, her childhood best friend, and a couple of classmates from school. “When do you have to be home?!” Paige blurts over at Blaire, nearly shouting over the music. “I mean, I don’t have a curfew!” Blaire says, Paige winks before saying, “Perfect”
The twenty minute drive comes to an end, car pulling into the parking lot. Paige opens the car door for Blaire, her hopping out, the two follow the downtown street, talking about senior year, “Soooo… Senior year…” Paige nudges, smiling, Blaire responds, “Yeah, kind of crazy isn’t it? I feel like just yesterday I was clad in my pink tutu posing for my level two dance photos” Paige nods, “I feel ya, time moves so fast, hard to believe we’re going to leave the life we know behind next year” Blaire turns her head, thoughts swarming her head, the life she knew was uninteresting, to say the least, she didn’t really have a reason to stay, growing up in California, her dad insisted on moving to the quiet state of Minnesota, sure, her dance studio moved from California to Minnesota, something about the founder wanting to be close to her mom, Blaire always held a little bit of resentment towards her dad for that. Packing up everything, leaving Blaire’s childhood behind, dragging her with him, and for what? For him to be on work trips all the time? Leaving Blaire in a hauntingly quiet house? Her mom and dad split shortly before her and her dad made the big move. But who was she to trauma dump? Especially not on a first date, so she's restricted to replying with a quiet murmur of, “Yeah” Paige’s side eye doesn’t go unnoticed, Blaire curses herself in her mind, the feeling of messing up taking over, unfamiliarity reminding her of when she first moved here, caging herself in her room, no urgency to get to know those around her.
Pink lights illuminate the ice cream shop, sweet scoops in cursive on the window, a hole in the wall kind of place, reserved for locals. Paige holds the door open, ever the gentlewoman. Stepping inside, Blaire feels the cool air rush against her face, a direct opposite to the humidity of the summer air outside, Save Your Tears playing through the seventies style stereo, the shop overall emitting a seventies style, checkered floors, pink stools on the other side, fun teal booths lining the wall, pictures of the family that founded the shop snug in a corner, a time capsule, almost. Walking up to the register, Paige orders first, “One small vanilla cone please, and for this pretty lady…” Blaire smiles, “One small raspberry chip cone please” Paige pulls her card out of the back of her phone case, purple, handing it to the worker, a tired girl, probably in one of Blaire’s classes, but she wasn’t one to want to get to know people in her classes, she was there for one reason only, to learn. Paige hands Blaire her ice cream, and a few napkins, before walking back to her car.
Now seated, her knees pulled to her chest, she turns to face the blonde, “So tell me about yourself, I know that there’s more beneath that rough exterior you show during your games” Paige finishes her bite of ice cream, the cold treat regulating her body temperature on the warm summer night, “Well, what do you want to know?” Paige counters, Blaire doesn’t know. What do you even ask on first dates? Paige lifts Blaire’s chin, “Well I’ll help, I love music, I feel like it puts my emotions into words, comforts me before a game, during school, you get it” Blaire laughs “I hope I’d get it, I’ve danced my whole life” Two of them laughing, conversation flowing easily after that, personalities dancing around each other beautifully. Ice cream is long forgotten by now, finished, napkins set in the cupholders, the sunroof pulled back, their seats are reclined now, stars shining in the night sky, Paige asking Blaire everything about dance, the training, what the greenroom looks like, quick changes, auditions, everything you could think of, Blaire was pleasantly surprised, eager to tell Paige everything she knew, excited to tell her about the harsh reality that went on behind the scenes of all the grace that was shown on stage. Blaire asks about basketball, conditioning, exercising and working muscles to avoid strain, reading plays on the whiteboard, the rush Paige feels after making a three, this was who they were, so alike, yet so different, both sports being on opposing sides. Conversation fizzles out, Blaire watching the mint smoke from her vape dissolve into the expansive car space, providing her some clarity to loosen up, Paige occasionally tugging it from her palm, doing the same. Blaire found peace, here, simply parked in an empty parking lot, the clock read, 2:00 a.m. Time slipped away easily when she was with Paige, something she hasn’t encountered since her time in California.
They eventually make their way back to Blaire’s dance studio, her car waiting for her, reserved in her senior parking spot. Blaire moves to open the car door, Paige grabbing her hand before she can do so, “Wait!” Blaire whips her head around, face to face with a flustered Paige, soft pink covering her cheeks. Paige softly takes both of Blaire’s hands in her own, before kissing them, soft lips coming into contact with her knuckles, “I had fun tonight, call me tomorrow?” Paige hopes, Blaire pretends to think for a second, an amused, “We’ll see” coming out of her mouth, before she slips away into the night.
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just-dreaming-marvel · 7 days ago
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The Librarian & The Wolverine ~ The First Mission
THE LIBRARIAN & THE WOLVERINE MASTERLIST
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< previous: The Love
Word Count: 4,315ish
Summary: You go on your first mission and things escalate from there.
Warning(s): mentions insecurities, time jumps, injuries, violence
Notes: A reminder, I DO NOT DO TAGLISTS. I just encourage everyone to follow and interact! Likes, reblogs, comments and asks are encouraged and very appreciated!
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You were mid-sentence with a student in the library when the intercom buzzed. 
“Miss L/N, please report to the War Room. Immediately.”
You looked at the intercom, confused. You weren’t a field agent or on any active roster. The last time you set food in the War Room, it had been to deliver Scott a stack of historical intelligence reports you had processed through touch alone. So when you walked in— notebook in hand and pencil behind your ear— you were already on edge.
Logan was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, clearly there under protest. Scott, Ororo, Jean, Hank, and Charles were seated around the table. There was a digital map of a European countryside glowing above the table.
Charles offered a smile. “Thank you for coming, Y/N. I realize this is out of the ordinary.”
You stepped closer, glancing warily at Logan. He didn’t look at you, not yet at least.
“There’s an underground archive in Budapest,” Charles continued. “One of Magneto’s old hideouts. But the intel suggest something new has been hidden inside it. Something encrypted.”
You frowned. “And you need me to go in and… read it?”
“More than that,” Jean said. “We can’t even find it. It’s not on any blueprint. But if it’s there, you might sense it. Books, logs, handwritten codes. You’d be able to see it all, and maybe what it means.”
Scott added, “We need eyes that can see beneath the surface.”
Logan finally straightened. “Absolutely not.”
Everyone turned to face him.
You tried, “Logan—“
“No,” he interrupted. He pushed off the wall and stepped between you and the table. “She’s not trained for the field. She’s not a fighter. She’s not goin’ into some unstable bunker in the middle of Eastern Europe.”
“I haven’t said yes yet,” you said quietly, but he wasn’t listening.
“She’s never been carried a comm. She reads books. That’s her job. That’s what she’s here for.”
“She’s standing right here,” your voice was sharper now.
That made him pause. He turned to you, not angry but scared. “Y/N—“
“And she’s glad to know what you really think of what she does.” You stepped past him, avoiding the slight raise of his hand to touch you. “I can help.”
Jean nodded slowly. “You won’t be going in alone. We’d all be with you. You’d have protection.”
Logan scoffed. “She shouldn’t need protection!”
“I deserve to be allowed to make this choice, Logan,” you said firmly. “I’ve spent years cataloging the past. Sorting through everyone else’s battles from a safe distance. But if I can do something— if I can help how— don’t take that away from me.”
Charles interjected gently. “The mission is voluntary. The moment you say no, the subject is closed.”
“Y/N…” Logan muttered, stepping closer. “What if you get hurt?”
“Then I get hurt,” you answered. “Just like you do. Just like anyone else out there.”
~~~
Later that night, Logan found you in the library. In leaned against one of the bookshelves, watching you for a moment. You could feel his presence and ignored him.
“I’m sorry,” the words were so quiet, you almost missed them. 
You remained silent.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated. He pushed himself off of the bookshelf and stepped towards you. “I… I was scared. I still am. I don’t like the thought of you goin’ out in the field.”
“You said that all I do is read,” you mumbled.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I know you do more— I’ve seen it. Please, darlin’, tell me how to fix this.”
“I’m going on that mission tomorrow… I can’t have you doubting everything— doubting me every step of the way. I need you on my side.”
“I’m always on your side, sweetheart. Even when I say stupid shit.”
That got your lips to quirk up a bit. “You promise?”
Logan closed the gap and took you in his arms. You didn’t fight him. “I promise,” he whispered against your head, pressing a kiss to it. “I’m sorry for my stupidity. But I’m not sorry for wanting you safe.”
~~~
You stood just outside the Blackbird, arms folded over your chest as your heart thudded against your ribs. You had a thrown together suit on with a bag of books and notebooks slung over your shoulder. You looked like you were ready but your stomach was in knots. Logan came up beside you in full mission gear. He didn’t speak right away, just rested a hand on your back.
“You don’t have to go,” he said, voice low.
“I know,” you murmured.
“You’re not a soldier.”
“I’m not pretending to be.”
He turned you gently to face him. You let yourself lean into his chest. His arms came around you immediately.
“I’m scared,” you whispered.
“Me too,” Logan admitted. “You don’t belong in danger. But… you do belong on this team. And if you’re going in, I’m not lettin’ you go in alone.”
You smiled weakly against his shoulder. “That’s one of the sappiest things you’ve ever said to me.”
“Shut up.” He kissed your temple. “You come home, alright?”
You looked him in the eye. “Only if you do too.”
He kissed you hard then— fierce and full of the fear neither of you wanted to name. It lingered on your lips long after the jet took off.
~~~
Budapest was cold and grey when the jet landed. The target was buried under layers of old brick and stone, in a long-forgotten library. You moved with the team. Jean stayed beside you while Logan was always close. Your fingers brushed the scattered books and pages.
“Cold,” you muttered, using your powers to feel the pages. “Fear. Someone was hiding something here. There’s another room.”
“How do you know?” Scott asked.
“Because the paper says so.” You pressed your hand to the wall and closed your eyes, focusing. “There’s a hidden door. And a safe behind it.”
Logan watched you work, watched your power unfold. Every book and page you touched told a story.
“You’re incredible,” he muttered under his breath.
You looked at him bashfully. “You’re just saying that because I found the secret passage.”
“No. I mean it.”
You smiled but before you could respond, the floor exploded. You didn’t remember falling— only screaming. The support beams gave way and sent you through the crumbling floor and into darkness. You landed hard— the air leaving your lungs and your ribs screamed. Above, you heard shouting.
“She’s down!” It was Logan. “The librarian’s down!”
You tried to sit up but pain stabbed through your side. Rubble pinned on leg and you couldn’t seem to find your communicator. Your hand reached out and padded around in the dark. It found a file and pressed against it. Sudden— information exploded in your head. Project Helix. Funding orders by multiple Senators of the United States. Weaponizing mutant abilities in children. You pulled your hand back with a gasp.
A heartbeat later there was a crash beside you. Logan dropped in, claws out and eyes wild. He turned to you, panting and shaking.”
“Sweetheart—“
“I’m okay,” you tried to calm him. “My leg’s stuck. Can’t move.”
He dropped to his knees beside you, already working to free you. You winced when he finally was able to pull you into his arms.
“What is it?” He immediately asked.
“Ribs,” you gasped.
“We’ll get you looked at in the jet.” 
He stood and you buried your face in his shoulder, letting yourself cry just a little.
“I don’t belong in the field,” you whispered.
“No,” he agreed. “And that’s okay.”
“They’re experimenting on mutant children, Logan.”
“What? Who?”
“The government. It’s in the files. The papers.”
~~~
You sat in the jet, wrapped in a thermal blanket, staring down at your notebook. You had written down everything you had absorbed from the file. Your ribs were wrapped tightly, with the promise from Hank that you’d be okay in a few days. That didn’t make Logan feel any better.
When you got back to the mansion, everyone reconvened in the War Room. You sat at the table with your notebook in front of you. Logan sat to the side of you, watching everyone else in the room.
“It’s called the Helix Initiative,” you explained. “It’s funded by multiple Senators and private biotech firms. They’re running covert programs through small clinics and youth outreach centers— targeting young mutants under the guise of treatment They’re developing ways to split mutations. Control them. Turn them into assets. Drones.”
You continued to tell the team all that you had found in the files. You were dismissed as soon as you had explained everything, leaving your notebook with them.
As a plan formed to get more information as days went on, you were brought into the briefings to make sure everyone understood what you had found in the files and to add anything. You spoke only when asked, offered what you had learned and never forced it.
One of the junior field operatives— a new recruit, eager, and trying too hard— leaned over to Scott and spoke in a low voice that wasn’t low enough. “I still don’t get why she’s even a part of these meetings. She’s not combat-capable. She’s just a librarian.”
The word ‘just’ landed like a slap. You froze and your stomach dropped. Logan moved before you could. He stood slowly. Everyone went quiet.
Logan’s voice was low and dangerous. “Say that again.”
The recruit’s face paled. “I— I didn’t mean—“
“No, go on. Say it again. Say she’s just a librarian.”
“Logan,” you said softly, placing a hand on his arm.
He didn’t look at you, his eyes stayed locked on the kid. “She’s the reason we even know Helix exists. She’s the reason we’re finding more information. She’s the reason any of you are sittin’ here talkin’ strategy.” The room was dead silent. Logan stepped closer. “She doesn’t need claws or plasma blasts or damn teleportation. She sees through lies that satellites can’t catch. She finds things that your fancy tech misses. And you think she doesn’t belong?”
“I’m sorry— I didn’t mean—“ the recruit stammered.
“She doesn’t need to fight. She’s the reason we don’t have to walk into anything blind.”
You squeezed his arm. “Logan,” you called again. “That’s enough.” Logan finally looked at you, taking in how you weren’t angry, simply tired. You focused on the recruit. “Don’t apologize to me. Just listen better next time.” You turned back to the others. “Continue.”
And just like that, the meeting went on.
~~~
The library was quiet. You were curled up in your chair behind your desk, blanket over your legs and a half-read book in your lap. You hadn’t turned a page in twenty minutes. You heard the click of his boots before Logan appeared. He stepped inside. You didn’t look up right away and he didn’t speak. He just walked over and stood beside your chair, letting the silence stretch.
“You didn’t have to defend me,” you finally said softly. 
“I know.”
“But you did.”
“Damn right I did.”
You closed the book and looked up at him. “It wasn’t the first time someone’s said something like that, you know. It’s just the first time someone said it in front of so many people.”
“It wasn’t right.”
“You can’t fight all my battles for me, Logan.”
He knelt in front of you, hands resting gently on your knees. His eyes— always intense and a little tired— softened. “I know you’re strong, baby. You’re sure as hell smarter than all of us. I know you don’t need me to speak for you.”
“Then why did you?”
“Because I love you.”
You swallowed hard. “I’m not a fighter…”
“No, but you’re mine. And I’m gonna protect what’s mine.”
You laughed a little. “That’s… kind of possessive.”
He shrugged. “Comes with the claws.”
You reached out and ran your fingers down the side of his face, tracing his mutton chops. “You scared that poor recruit half to death.”
“Good. Maybe now he’ll think twice before opening his damn mouth.”
“Thank you… for always seeing me.”
He leaned in and kissed you. “You want to go back to reading?” 
You nodded. He settled on the ground next to you as you grabbed your book. He leaned his his against your thigh as you read, your fingers carding through his hair.
~~~
Logan knew that the recruit’s words had hit you harder than you cared to admit. So Logan was going to make sure that you still knew your worth to him.
The Tea
You walked into the library one morning to find a travel mug waiting on your desk. There was a post-it note stuck to the side.
“For the girl who keep this place smarter than the rest of us combined. - L”
The Repaired Books
Two nights later, you came back from dinner to find a stack of old, battered books you had set aside for mending, fixed. Not perfectly. Some of the stitching was a little uneven, and one binding had a new scratch through the leather— but they were all intact. At the bottom, another sticky note.
“They were looking at me all sad. Figured I’d give ‘em another chance at being loved like someone once gave me. - L”
It took all you had not to cry. You placed the sticky note with the other in your drawer. You began to show him how much he was worth to you as well.
The Notebook
Logan was always grouchy when it came to paperwork. You had seen him stare at mission reports like they had personally offended him. So one afternoon, you quietly slid a small, handmade notebook into the drawer of his dresser. The cover was plain leather and inside were lined pages with a short prompt at the top of each.
What pissed you off today?
Something you don’t want to forget.
What made you laugh? 
A memory that finally came back.
You don’t tell him it’s from you. You know he knows. And a week later, you see it tucked in his jacket pocket.
The Playlist
You caught him one afternoon fixing something in the garage— white tank top on with grease all over him. You walked past with your phone in hand and said nothing. But when he flipped on the radio, your playlist began playing— the one you made just for him but never told him. The playlist held classic rock, a few blues tracks, and a quiet instrumental version of Johnny Cash’s ‘Hurt’. You never sat it’s from you.
But when he walked into the library later that night, he kissed your forehead and muttered, “Track seven almost got me crying’. Thanks for that.”
~~~
You were shelving some books with Charles rolled into the library one morning.
“Do you have a moment?” He wondered.
“Of course,” you replied, giving him your full attention.
“I need to ask something of you. A favor. And, potentially, a risk.”
“What kind of risk?”
“There’s a meeting scheduled tomorrow with several government leaders. Tensions are high now that we’ve uncovered the Helix Initiative. They’ve requested someone come with me— someone composed and non-combative.”
“And you want me?”
“I trust you. And they’ll listen to you in a way they won’t to me or Storm. You’re more grounded.”
“Alright. If you need me.”
“I do. But there’s one condition.”
“Yes?”
“Logan can’t attend. He’s too volatile. Too infamous. His presence would agitate the discussion. I need calm— you.”
~~~
You told Logan in his room. You didn’t want to. You wanted Charles to be the one to break the news, but that didn’t feel right. Logan’s reaction was instant.
“No.”
“Logan—“
“No.” He began pacing. “He wants to send you into a damn den of wolves and I’m supposed to sit here and play nice?”
“I said yes.”
“Why the hell would you say yes?!”
“Because it matters and Charles asked me.”
Logan’s hands balled into fists. “He asked you because you’re quiet and smart and non-threatening. Because he thinks they’ll see you and forget what they’re afraid of.”
“He asked me because I’m capable and I am.”
“I know that! I know you are. But they don’t deserve you. They’ll twist your words, try to make you a mouthpiece—“
“I won’t let them.”
He stopped pacing and turned to face you. “You’re mine, like actually mine. And now you’re walking into a room full of people who would vote to erase our kind if given half a chance. And I can’t go with you.”
“I’m not going into battle. I’m going into a meeting.”
“Same thing. Only with more backstabbing.”
You stepped towards him and placed your hands on his chest. “I’m scared too. But I trust myself. And I trust that if something goes wrong, you’ll get me out.”
His jaw flexed. “I don’t like it. Not even a little.”
“I know.”
“But if you’re goin’, I’m going to need you to wear a comm. And I want eyes on the building and a way in if I need one.”
“Logan—“
“I’m serious, baby. All of that needs to happen, or you’re not going.”
“Okay, okay. We can talk to Charles.”
~~~
You walked into the secured government building beside Charles. You were dressed professionally. Your pulse drummed in your throat, but you tried not to show the slight nervousness you felt. The officials— senators, advisors, and military men— turned as you and Charles entered. They all were familiar with Charles, but you were an unknown.
One of them squinted, studying you. “And who is this?”
Charles replied evenly, “An advisor. Her knowledge of international mutant operations is unparalleled.
You offered you name and extended your hand. Some of them shook your hand, others blatantly ignored you. You sat beside Charles at the long table and the meeting began. It was tense from the start. Words like containment and monitoring were thrown around like solutions. The information found in Budapest was used as a warning while you were used as an example of “acceptable cooperation”.
You’re not usually one to break, but you had heard enough. You leaned forward, calling attention to yourself.
“I’m not here to be your model mutant,” your voice was calm yet firm. “I’m here because I can read your polices better than your own aides. Because I understand international law, historical precedent, and the way your words will be written into action. I know how fear turns into legislation. I know what happened to us in the ‘60s and again in the ‘80s and how those documents were quietly sealed. I’ve read them.”
One of the men scoffed. “Is that a threat?”
“No. It’s context.”
There’s silence for a moment, tense.
Then one of the quieter women leaned forward. “What would you suggest?”
You glanced at Charles, who gave you the slightest nod. So you answered. You were measured and thoughtful yet sharp. You recommended oversight committees with mutant representation. You offered language that reframed mutants as citizens rather than anomalies. The room shifted, not because you shouted, but because you were unshakable.
~~~
Logan, who had listened in the entire time, was leaning against the SUV, waiting for you. You walked right up to him.
“Hi,” you said, small and tired.
He looked you over, hands going to his waist. “You okay?”
You nodded. “Tired. A little shaky.”
“Yeah, well, you were terrifying in there.” He pulled you closer.
You laughed into his chest. “Terrifying?”
“Dead calm. Sharp as hell.”
“You listened?”
“The whole time.” 
“And?”
“You were perfect.” He kissed you before turning and opening the passenger door for you. “Let’s go home, darlin’. I’ll cook.”
“You can cook? Like, not just put sandwiches together?”
“I can try. We’ll survive.” He glanced around. “Where’s the Professor?”
“He’s staying back to talk to a few people by himself. Kurt’s on standby to get him.”
“Great.” He leaned in and kissed you again. “That means it’s just you and I.”
~~~
The drive home began quietly. You were tucked into the passenger seat, legs curled under you. Logan was driving with one hand on the wheel, the other resting on your knee. You were currently rambling off about historical political meetings. Logan had a smirk as he listened.
“And then in—“
Before you could finish the sentence, the road exploded in front of you. Logan slammed on brakes while his arm shot out to make sure you didn’t lurch forward too much. The SUV skid sideways, tires screeching. A second explosion came behind you.
“Hold on!” Logan shouted.
But you were already ducking, heart pounding as the windshield shattered inward with a deafening crack. You heard the sound of gunfire before you could fully register it. You didn’t even realize that Logan had jumped out and rushed around the vehicle until he ripped your door off and cut your seatbelt off.
“Out! Now!” 
Logan grabbed your hand and you stumbled out. He pulled you behind the SUV and pushed you down.
“Stay here,” he ordered.
Then Logan was up and charging. He was a blur— tearing through the first wave of attackers with brutal efficiency. You tried to stay low but one of them circled from behind and fired a taser. You cried out as it clipped your shoulder. You hit the ground hard, vision swimming.
“Target down!” The man shouted into his comm. “We’ve got the girl—“
But he did not. Because Logan heard your cry and was there in seconds. He grabbed the man by the vest and yanked him back, slamming him into a nearby tree. 
“You touch her again,” he growled, “and I’ll make sure they never find your bones.” 
The man slumped, unconscious. Logan dropped to his knees beside you, ripping the taser barb free.
“Sweetheart?” He called, voice softer. “Hey, look at me.” 
Your breath stuttered. “I’m okay… I’m okay.”
He cupped your face, checking your pupils. “They went for you. Not me.”
“It’s because I let them know what I can do… I’m a liability now.”
“You are not a liability.”
He lifted you gently into his arms. You could hear more vehicles coming. He rushed into the forest, running like your life depended on it— and to him, it very well did. He ran until he found a small parking lot of cars for campers. He kicked the door in of a nearby car and set you down in the passenger seat before hot-wiring it.
“I thought I was helping,” you rasped as he sped to the mansion. 
“You did,” he said. “And that scared the hell out of them.”
~~~
The car roared up the driveway of the mansion at nearly 80 mph, tires shrieking as Logan slammed the breaks just outside the front steps. You were curled up in the passenger seat, in shock and in pain where you had been tased. Jean and Storm ran out of the mansion with others close behind.
“Logan—“ Charles began, but stopped short at the sight of you.
There was blood where small scrapes littered your skin, you were burned where you had been tased, and your clothes were torn.
Storm gasped. “Oh my God—“
“She’s fine,” Logan growled, lifted you into his arms again. “She’s alive.”
“Take there to the infirmary,” Jean said urgently.
He carried you straight past Charles, jaw clenched, and breathing ragged. Jean hurried alongside him, already scanning you with her powers and doing her best to soothe your nervous system.
“She’s in shock, but okay,” Jean stated. “You did good, Logan.”
He didn’t answer.
~~~
You were sleeping in the infirmary, stable and taken care of. Logan was posted outside the door like a guard dog with blood still on his boots. His arms were crossed and expression hard.
Charles approached quietly. “She’s safe.”
“She was safe until you asked her to go to that meeting and revealed her powers.”
“I underestimated how quickly they’d see her for what she is. More powerful than anyone gives her credit for. She absorbs knowledge and remembers everything, that’s a threat to them.”
“They tried to take her. She couldn’t even fight back. You gave her a role and painted a target on her back.”
“She knew the risks. She chose this.”
“She chose you. She trusted you.”
“Logan, if I had known, I wouldn’t have asked her to go.”
~~~
You stirred as Logan picked you up.
“Logan?” You rasped.
“Sshhh, baby,” he whispered. “Just takin’ you to bed.”
You nodded, snuggling into Logan more. As he walked past the main doors, the ground shuddered with an explosion. The windows shattered. Logan crouched down, covering you with his body. The doors opened with a loud bang and the alarms screamed to life. Uniformed shoulders poured through. You were more alert now, gripping onto Logan. 
“Stand down!” Logan shouted. 
Logan let you go and turned, releasing his claws. He lauded himself at the first wave of soldiers, but there were too many. And they came prepared. They quickly released a metal net, sending him to the floor.
“RUN!” He screamed, glancing your way. “Go, sweetheart— GO!”
But you’re frozen. And that it when they hit you with a blast. Logan screamed as he fought harder, trying to reach you but the net began to pulse with electricity. He thrashed but it held. Suddenly, you were being grabbed.
“NO! Let her go!”
You gasped as a needle was inserted into your neck and your out in a second. Logan teared free from the net with a howl as members of the team finally show up to help fight. But they’re too late. Your dragged out and into a jet that disappeared into the night before anyone could follow. The remaining soldiers fled. Logan rushed out into the front, falling onto his knees.
“I’m going to find you, sweetheart,” he promised, staring up at the sky. “I’m going to bring you home.”
next: The Rescue >
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chaotic-toasters · 1 year ago
Text
Invisible
TW: Bad-ish mental health
Chelsea!Reader
Ex-UNC!Reader
I don't think this makes any sense but whtvs
-----------------
Transfer to Chelsea, they said. It'll be fun, they said. Well, you said that they were wrong.
You signed for Chelsea under the promise of playing time and friendship, only to be immediately benched and left to wander the halls of Cobham by yourself.
In hindsight, it was a stupid decision to join the Blues. The winning WSL side had no need for you on their already stacked roster, and in no way were you going to be able to compete with the likes of Zecira Musovic and Hannah Hampton.
You'd once been told that only truly deserving and talented people could reach the professional level of a sport, but you were seriously doubting it. You weren't a quitter, but you were genuinely wondering if you should wait for your 23rd birthday next year to announce your retirement or if you should just announce it now. You were still young, and you weren't about to waste any more of your life waiting for your footballing career to blossom.
It was funny, you thought, how the same cycle just kept repeating. When you played in your home state of Chicago for the Red Stars, you'd sat on the bench and watched Alyssa Naeher, your captain and USWNT starting keeper, guard the net, but you'd at least been happy, being good friends with most of your teammates. Then, during your time at Manchester United, Marc Skinner had promised you that you'd play in games against easier opponents. You never did, always internally scolding yourself for believing that he would want to play you. Now, at Chelsea, you were all alone, not a familiar face or start in sight. The only time you'd been in the net during games was in college, where you'd been head of the DoD for UNC. That time was long gone, though.
-----------
"Y/N!" you almost missed Emma calling your name, too busy wondering if anyone would notice if you napped on the bench during the match. It was against Arsenal, but you were practically invisible to your teammates and the media alike.
"Yes?" you glanced up from the ground, only half-paying attention.
"Zecira isn't here and Hannah can't play on with that calf. You're going in."
"Okay." You didn't move, your manager's words not registering in your brain.
She stared at you. "Aren't you gonna go get your gloves?"
"Oh, right." You took off towards the changing room, grabbing your gloves, waterbottle, and blinding-white sweat towel that you'd had for the past three years.
When you went back outside, Emma patted you on the shoulder, offering you a word of advice and reminding you that the score was nil-nil.
It was embarrassingly quiet when you jogged into goal, the only cheers being a few quiet Chelsea fans in a sea of blue. You just shook your head to yourself, bouncing on the balls of your feet as play started up again. No distractions.
------------
A breakaway in the 51st minute had you barking orders at your backline, but none of your defenders were fast enough to catch up. Stina Blackstenius was sprinting at you full-force as you came out of your goal, and though her body shifted to the left and she passed the ball between her feet, you noticed how her eyes momentarily flicked upwards. Your hand instinctively shot up, smacking the ball away like a cat would a toy on a string, and as it flew over the crossbar, the entire stadium was silent other than the soft pitter-patter of rain on the roof.
The roar of the crowd rang out seconds later, and the Arsenal players eyed you with a newfound wariness as Steph Catley ran to take the corner kick.
"Hey," someone whispered, nudging you. "That was sick. I knew you still had it in you."
You glanced up and smiled. "Thanks, Foxy."
She ran back, sharing a few words with your other former UNC teammates, Alessia and Lotte, the three of them giving you small smiles as the whistle blew.
You came out of the net again as the ball came flying into the box, jumping up over Blackstenius again and swatting it away once more. The cheers from the Chelsea fans was deafening, drowning out whatever Emma was yelling to you from the sidelines.
Chelsea forwards and Arsenal defenders chased after the ball into the Arsenal half, leaving you, your defenders, and Arsenal forwards in your half. "Hey," Alessia called, giving you a little wave from the edge of your box. "Nice saves."
You waved back. "Thanks."
"You haven't changed a bit from Uni," she commented, jogging away. "Reflexes sharp as ever."
"You haven't changed either," you grinned. "Clumsy as ever."
Her head whipped back around indignantly. "Hey!"
-------------
It was strange being a part of your teammates' conversations. It was as if you'd been invisible before the match, and each save slowly made you appear before their eyes. They'd met you with smiles and claps on the back after the game, all too happy to secure a tie in the wake of losing their first two keepers. You could care less about your current teammates, though. The ones who really mattered were your old ones.
"We totally would have won if Chelsea didn't have you," Emily scoffed jokingly, giving you a light push. "You saved their asses."
You pushed her back with a shit-eating grin, lowering your voice. "I'll be saving your asses instead soon enough."
Lotte spit out her water onto Alessia, who shrieked in disgust. "Really?!"You snickered. "Yeah. Don't tell anyone, though."
Alessia pinched her jersey in her fingers, airing it out. "Have you thought about this? The Chelsea fans aren't going to like that at all. Trust me, I know."
"I don't care," you shrugged. "I'll be happy at Arsenal, and I know I'll get playing time."
"Well, we can't wait to see you at Colney," Lotte grinned. "Arsenal red will look great on you."
You grinned back. "I know it will."
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