#sunfreckle's scribbles

[mysunfreckle]

When my toddler is truly distressed to the point of crying, they usually start out with "I want my mama!" or "I want my papa!" depending on which parent is not with them at that time (which is psychologically on the nose as it is). But after they have been brought to the desired comfort parent of the moment, they usually find this did not solve as much of their suffering as they require, and end up just sobbing: "I want! I want!"

And I don't know but, maybe that never goes away. Maybe every once in a while we all just need to allow our inner toddler to sob against our shoulder crying "I want"

[mysunfreckle]

“What are you doing in my kitchen.”

Grantaire glances over his shoulder. Montparnasse is standing in the doorway wrapped in a black robe made of some fancy shiny material that almost makes Grantaire roll his eyes. “Making waffles,” he replies, turning back to the counter.

Montparnasse frowns, obviously still sleepy. His frowns aren’t nearly as impressive when he’s not wearing his make-up. “How many waffles do you think the four of us need?” he grunts, looking at the two bowls standing on the counter.

“Since I’m making them-” Grantaire says meaningfully. “-quite a few.” He gestures at the different bowls. “And these are vegan, these are normal.”

“You made two batches of batter just for that?” Montparnasse snarks, stretching his arms above his head. “What kind of dumb kitchen planning is that?”

Grantaire pulls a face at him. “I’m not eating vegan nut milk waffles, Montparnasse.” He points with the whisk. “And shut up, I’m making you breakfast.”

“Short tempter,” Montparnasse smirks. “Maybe if you adjusted your diet-” He ducks away just in time to avoid the dishtowel being thrown at his face.

I had a dream about all my friends living in the same house, and the only part I clearly remember is Adrian telling me it was dumb that I made two batches of waffle batter and me being like “I’m not eating vegan nut milk waffles, Adrian,” and then I woke up

[mysunfreckle]

I was rereading the correspondence included in Pride and Prejudice, and I'm always amused by the "Yours, etc." used at the end of several of the letters simply because it was too much work to write it out the sign off in full. But what really gets me is that Mr. Collins letter to Mr. Bennet at Lydia's elopement is the only one to end with:

"I am, dear sir," etc., etc.

Like Austen is physically tapping you on the shoulder, going: "look, I'm not going to write out any of these commonplace civilities, but I do need you to know that Mr. Collins uses much much more of them"

[mysunfreckle]

I've talked before about how The History of Sir Charles Grandison is the one novel we know Catherine has read before she is introduced to the Gothic novels, but now I've got to vent some feelings about John Thorpes literary tastes.

He says that Radcliffe's novels are "amusing enough" (without knowing which books she actually wrote) but he explicitly states: "Novels are all so full of nonsense and stuff; there has not been a tolerably decent one come out since Tom Jones, except The Monk;" Now I doubt the significance of these books is anything new to people who study English literature, but finding it out was like a cool Easter egg to me, so I'm gonna blab about it:

At first glance these are excellent books for a guy like Thorpe to brag about liking, because there is basically only one thing that unites them: sexual content. The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling by Henry Fielding, is a "rake reformed" narrative, while The Monk is a Gothic novel deliberately filled with depravity, ending in eternal damnation. They're completely different kinds of books and regardless of how good they may be, neither ought to be talked up to a nice young lady you've only just been introduced to.

But considering Austen's love for literature, this choice of authors was probably equally deliberate. Just to show off that Thorpe's tastes are incompatible with Catherine's. (And cannot hold a candle to Henry Tilney's, who loves Mrs Radcliffe's novels.) Because...

• Henry Fielding, writer of Tom Jones, was the main literary rival of Samuel Richardson, who wrote Sir Charles Grandison. The latter wrote "Pamela; or, Virtue Rewarded", the former responded with the parody "An Apology for the Life of Mrs Shamela Andrews". They were both pioneers of the English novel, but wrote very different types of stories with very different moral tones (x, y). At this point of the novel we already know that Catherine likes Sir Charles Grandison (while Isabella expresses surprise at her being able to get through it), so making Thorpe like Tom Jones feels almost like a wink at the reader.

• Then there's the mention of The Monk, which is even more significant in a story where the two leads love Ann Radcliffe. Because Matthew Gregory Lewis was at least partly inspired by The Mysteries of Udolpho when he began writing The Monk (a), and Ann Radcliffe was so dismayed by the book that she then wrote The Italian in response (b, c). Once again two literary rivals, one that Catherine is a fan of, and one who Thorpe prefers.

It's also notable that despite absolutely being part of the Gothic genre, The Monk is not on Isabella's list of novels to read with Catherine. Which makes it extra silly that my beloved Northanger Abbey (2007) adaptation not only has Catherine read The Monk, but also lets her fantasize about a scene that really really isn't sexy in context.

I do really encourage reading a summary of The Monk if you can stomach the mentions of sexual violence, however. Lewis wrote it when he was 19 and despite its popularity was rather embarrassed about it later in his life. And while it is full of satanic seduction and murder, someone also accidentally elopes with a ghost, which makes up for a lot.

[mysunfreckle]

The Thing About Austen podcast just had poet Laboni Islam as a guest, because she wrote a series of poems about Jane Austen's muslin shawl, while in residency at the Jane Austen's House museum:

The poems are all about placing the shawl in its context, both as a favourite garment of Austen's and as a piece of art created by Bengali spinners and weavers. Laboni Islam did tons of research to get all the details right and it's really beautiful. You can read and listen to them on the Jane Austen's House website.

The strongest parts of the poems don't work well taken out of their stanzas, but "history has a high thread count" is going to haunt me for a while.

[mysunfreckle]

Bloodbound, Fortunefavoured fully tricking me into reading political intrigue by giving me a new OT3:

[mysunfreckle]

Considering the kind of reading Catherine Morland was probably accustomed to before she met Isabella in Bath, I am even more inclined to pardon her temporary disappearance into the Gothic mindset. Because her timeline is as follows:

Arrive in Bath, meet a handsome young man and make a new friend

Get introduced to The Mysteries of Udolpho and a whole list of other "horrid novels" by Isabella. [It's implied that Catherine has only read older novels (like Sir Charles Grandison and possibly Evelina and Cecilia) because, as she says: "new books do not fall in our way"]

Spend about six weeks reading aforementioned horrid novels while falling in love with Henry Tilney

Arrive at Northanger Abbey with a nice little reader-insert fic from aforementioned Henry, including all the horrors she is to find there

Encounter several of those horrors (an old chest, a dark cabinet, an accidentally extinguished candle, and a well-timed storm) in very quick succession. ["Could not the adventure of the chest have taught her wisdom?" Catherine, darling, you didn't stand a chance]

Find out about Mrs. Tilney's tragic death and experience the General's changeable temper and forceful ways almost simultaneously, the very day after her arrival at Northanger

Honestly, she has barely had time to catch her breath. The day that Henry points out the impossibility of her suspicions about his father's villainy is her fourth day in the abbey.

I forgive her, your honour. She was 17 and under the influence of a brand new hyperfixation

[mysunfreckle]

Catherine Morland's parents are described as "plain, matter-of-fact people who seldom aimed at wit of any kind" and all we see on the page of her mother is definitely more plain sense than feeling sensibility. So it is very amusing to me that we also get this account of her taste in books, in a conversation between Isabella and Catherine:

“It is so odd to me, that you should never have read Udolpho before; but I suppose Mrs. Morland objects to novels.” “No, she does not. She very often reads Sir Charles Grandison herself; but new books do not fall in our way.” “Sir Charles Grandison! That is an amazing horrid book, is it not? I remember Miss Andrews could not get through the first volume.” “It is not like Udolpho at all; but yet I think it is very entertaining.”

The History of Sir Charles Grandison is an epistolary novel in six volumes from 1753 (so about 45 years old at the time of Northanger Abbey) by Samuel Richardson, and it features:

The beautiful, virtuous young orphan Harriet Byron, with a fortune of 15000 pounds, being pursued by a whole fleet of suitors.

The dastardly Sir Hargrave kidnapping Miss Byron from a masquerade ball and imprisoning her to force her into a marriage

The valiant Sir Charles Grandison coming to her rescue and fighting Sir Hargrave until he can bring her to safety

Miss Byron and Sir Charles falling in love but knowing that it cannot be, because! he is promised to another woman!

The other woman breaking off the engagement, the hero and heroine getting married, and then valiantly stepping up to help the Other Woman stand up to her family

Sir Hargrave dying of a dueling wound after mistreating yet another woman and leaving Miss Byron part of his estate to beg her forgiveness

It also includes a lot of moralising on religion, virtue, motherhood, and good society, which is probably why it a perfect pick for Mrs. Morland. It's all the thrill of abduction and rescue and devoted pining, but neatly dressed up in a morality tale about being good and proper. So you need not blush to say you enjoyed it and can even recommend it to your daughters.

It is also a book that is known for the constancy of its characters. Their morality, good or bad, is very fixed and plain to see. Which also fits with much of the Morlands' approach to people.

All I'm seeing is 16-year-old Catherine almost tripping over her feet to get to her mother with her current volume of Sir Charles Grandison clutched to her chest. Absolutely squealing with excitement over the Miss Byron being rescued from Hargrave's carriage by a virtuous nobleman who refused to even draw his sword because he abhors violence, while her mother placidly comments on how pleasant it is to see kindness and goodness so well reflected in literature.

[mysunfreckle]

Something something Jane Austen letting sweet tempered, yielding women resist the persuasion of people they greatly esteem when it concerns their sense of right and wrong, something something parallels:

The master of the house heard with real sorrow that they were to go so soon, and repeatedly tried to persuade Miss Bennet that it would not be safe for her—that she was not enough recovered; but Jane was firm where she felt herself to be right.

~ Pride and Prejudice

But Isabella became only more and more urgent, calling on her in the most affectionate manner, addressing her by the most endearing names. (…) But all in vain; Catherine felt herself to be in the right, and though pained by such tender, such flattering supplication, could not allow it to influence her.

~ Northanger Abbey

“You should have distinguished,” replied Anne. “You should not have suspected me now; the case is so different, and my age is so different. If I was wrong in yielding to persuasion once, remember that it was to persuasion exerted on the side of safety, not of risk. When I yielded, I thought it was to duty, but no duty could be called in aid here. In marrying a man indifferent to me, all risk would have been incurred, and all duty violated.”

~ Persuasion

“If it were possible for me to do otherwise” said [Fanny], with another strong effort; “but I am so perfectly convinced that I could never make him happy, and that I should be miserable myself.”

~ Mansfield Park

[mysunfreckle]

Me frantically trying to find the cause of my dizziness:

Not enough water? No- Not enough salt? No- Not enough sugar? No- Administrative task looming over me while I wait for necessary information-

[mysunfreckle]

"It's this blue and white patterned sock, and I am going to imbue it with the ability to always be connected to anybody I've ever given a nickname to. So if I think of somebody and throw the sock in the air, it will land in the direction of the person."

I was absolutely delighted at the creation of Jammer's magic sock. It's perfect. A perfect magical artifact. Not only is it the perfect item for Jammer to have, because of how it represents his ideal and of how it is - like Aabria said - at once special to him (he kept his wand in it) and so very mundane (it's a sock). But it's also a perfectly fitting magic to possess in a narrative sense.

Before fantasy there was folklore, and Jammer's sock has folklore firmly on its side. Because if a ball of yarn (The Six Swans) or a feather (The Three Feathers) can show you the way when thrown in the air, why not a sock? It's a perfectly reasonable thing to ask for! An absolutely beautiful choice on Lou's part.

[mysunfreckle]

An inventory of teenage life as observed in the wild (a small Dutch town):

The tall boy in stompy boots trying not to smile at his much younger sibling while holding a wrapped present just out of her reach, going: "No you can't know what's in it, it's for mum. No you cant. No I won't. No you still can't."

The five tweens (?) trying to fish in the river while sitting on the branches of an old tree overhanging the water before succumbing to the urge to push each other in

The duo with matching black hoodies cut into crop tops

The regular herd of teens crossing my street every school day around noon, carrying the spoils of their supermarket run (energy drink and sweets)

The kids in masc all black clothes (excepting the left one's diamond earrings) cuddling at the bus stop

The two friends who had this conversation, yelled across a busy street: "Is he Dead yet?" "No!" "Are you sure?" "YA!"

[mysunfreckle]

I have thought of a cursed Pride and Prejudice AU:

• Darcy leaves Georgiana's elopement out of the explanatory letter he writes after the failed proposal at Hunsford, only revealing Wickham's refusing the living in exchange for money and then demanding it anyway. This still softens Elizabeth opinion of him, she still believes him, but has less sway over her feelings.

• When she sees Wickham again she still likes him enough to want to find out the truth. At her first hint he immediately confesses "the truth". He does a very good job of mourning the folly of his youth and explains how ashamed he is of his actions now. He owns that he perhaps ought to be less resentful towards Darcy, but claims that Darcy did not scruple to disdain him for a moment of folly, which, he claims, was brought on purely a by distress of circumstances. He also wishes he would have told her the whole truth immediately, but he simply couldn't bear to think it might sink him in her opinion. Elizabeth, flattered, and aided by Jane's endless faith in human good nature, believes him.

• After agreeing to let Lydia go to Brighton, Elizabeth manages to convince Mr. Bennet that this is actually a very very bad idea. But, judging that it would mean outright war at home if he retracts his permission now, he grumpily decides to take the whole family to Brighton.

• Because of this, Elizabeth does not go with the Gardiners to Derbyshire. Wickham improves his friendship with the whole Bennet family and keeps paying Lizzy special attention.

• Instead of going to Scarborough, the Bingleys and both Darcy's go to Brighton.

• Darcy sees Elizabeth again and immediately tries to show her he has listened to her reproofs on his manners. She, now convinced of his being a decent man, but not softened by a Pemberley meeting and the praise of his servants, is pleased with this change in behaviour, but not immediately so moved by it as she would have been.

• Wickham is for the first time able to see Darcy in company with Elizabeth, and, knowing Darcy's mannerisms better than almost anyone except for Georgiana, immediately sees that Darcy is genuinely in love with her. He also sees how absolutely horrified Darcy is to see him with the Bennets.

• Wickham then changes his idle flirting to full on courtship of Elizabeth, purely to get back at Darcy.

[mysunfreckle]

One of the funnest Pride and Prejudice POV switches to write so far

From:

When all of the house that was open to general inspection had been seen, they returned down stairs; and, taking leave of the housekeeper, were consigned over to the gardener, who met them at the hall door. As they walked across the lawn towards the river, Elizabeth turned back to look again; her uncle and aunt stopped also; and while the former was conjecturing as to the date of the building, the owner of it himself suddenly came forward from the road which led behind it to the stables.

To:

He rode directly to the stables, where he was welcomed with surprise and immediate inquiries as to whether any assistance was called for. Darcy assured them none was needed and handed off his horse, making his way down the road and towards the house unattended. His mind was fully occupied by his wish for a change of clothes and some refreshment, and his intention to summon his steward as soon as these had been obtained, so that he might have the remainder of the day to prepare for tomorrow. These were tranquil thoughts however; very different from the discomforts of travel, for they were familiar and sure of immediate remedy. Due to this pleasant and practical preoccupation Darcy was at that moment not aware of any person other than himself. That is, until he rounded the corner of Pemberley House and, standing upon the lawn and gazing up at the building, he beheld Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

Poor guy <3

[mysunfreckle]

listen, to be overcome with hopes and desires may be a redundant cliché for you, but not for Fitzwilliam Darcy

[mysunfreckle]

Me, trying to write Bingley's proposal to Jane for Conceit and Conciliation: I'll read Edward's proposal to Elinor in Sense and Sensibility as inspriation, it will at least give me a benchmark for how emotional and expressive they can get

Jane Austen, writing Sense and Sensibility: "...in what manner he expressed himself, and how he was received, need not be particularly told."

Miss Austen, I beg of you