#the questions are not difficult to understand so WHAT WOULD IT EVEN BE FOR?

[lilmarshie]

Dating the Squid Games! Men

Requested by: @cutecat2005

A/N: Don’t worry! I have more Bucky Barnes, Bob Reynolds, and other headcanons and fics in the works as well. I have a queue of requests to get through so I’m trying to get those completed first. But there are a lot of new and exciting fics and headcanons coming soon!

Kang Dae-ho:

- Dae-ho would be incredibly hesitant to enter a relationship, burdened by his past and feeling unworthy of love.

- He'd need a lot of reassurance and patience.

- He's fiercely protective of you, always ensuring your safety and well-being.

- This can sometimes come across as overbearing, but it stems from a deep-seated fear of losing someone he cares about.

- Dae-ho isn't one for grand gestures or public displays of affection.

- His love is shown through small acts of service, like cooking meals, fixing things around the house, or simply being a reliable presence.

- Opening up emotionally would be a huge challenge for him.

- He'd need a partner who is understanding, patient, and willing to create a safe space for him to share his feelings.

- Once he commits, he's incredibly loyal and devoted.

- He'd do anything for his partner and would always put their needs first.

Seong Gi-hun:

- Dating Gi-hun would be an adventure, full of unexpected moments and spontaneous decisions.

- He's always up for trying new things and brings a sense of childlike wonder to the relationship.

- He's incredibly empathetic and attuned to your emotions. He's always there to lend an ear, offer a shoulder to cry on, and provide unwavering support.

- His financial struggles would be a constant source of stress.

- He'd feel guilty about not being able to provide a stable life and would need a partner who is understanding and willing to work through those challenges together.

- He's still grappling with the trauma of the Squid Games, which can manifest in mood swings, nightmares, and flashbacks.

- He'd need a partner who is patient, compassionate, and willing to support his healing process.

- Despite his flaws, Gi-hun is genuinely kind and compassionate. He has a big heart and always tries to do what's right, even when it's difficult.

The Frontman:

- Dating In-ho would be shrouded in mystery. He's secretive about his past and his work, creating an air of intrigue and danger.

- He's highly controlled and reserved, rarely showing his true emotions.

- It would take a lot of time and effort to break through his walls and see the person beneath the mask.

- There would always be a power imbalance in the relationship due to his position and influence.

- He's used to being in control and might struggle to relinquish that control in a personal relationship.

- His moral compass is questionable, and he might be involved in activities that his partner doesn't agree with. This could lead to conflicts and difficult choices.

- Deep down, In-ho is a vulnerable and damaged individual.

- He longs for connection and understanding but is afraid to let anyone get too close.

[7ndipity]

Their Partner Has SH Scars

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How the members would react to learning that their partner has SH scars

Warnings: slight angst, hurt/comfort, obviously implied sh(nothing graphic though), mentions of relapses, depression, intrusive thoughts, not proofread

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this. Tbh, I debated back and forth about writing this one because I know it��s a very sensitive topic, but having also had personal experience with this subject, I know just how much posts like these can help comfort people facing similar struggles. Please know, if you’re currently struggling or have in the past, I'm always here for you, and so are so many amazing members of this community💜

Masterlist

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Jin: When he first sees the marks, he doesn’t really know how to process what they mean, even though it’s pretty obvious. He knew you’d struggled in the past with depression and negative thoughts, but he’d never realized that they ran this deep. He would have a lot of questions, wanting to try and understand what had led to your marks, how you’re feeling now, and how you’re coping with any lingering thoughts or urges that come with recovery. It’s one of the few times that you ever see him serious, taking in everything you say with a quiet but gentle mindfulness. I think he would also need some time on his own to process everything and figure out his own feelings around the situation, but he would make sure that you know he’s still there for you no matter what. He just wants you to be safe and happy, and he will do anything in his power to help you feel better.

Yoongi: The first time you tell him about the marks, his heart breaks. He’s no stranger to the type of darker thoughts that can lead to hurting yourself, but to find out that you’ve also struggled with them is absolutely devastating to him. He would try his best to hide it, but he can’t help but feel a bit angry. Not at you of course, but at the circumstances that led you to this, at the people that failed to see the signs and reach out to you, and at himself for not recognizing the signs sooner, even though he knows that’s almost impossible. He would sit with you for as long as you needed to talk about everything if you wanted, but he also understands that sometimes talking just isn’t what you need, so he’d just sit and hug you if it made you feel better. At the end of the day, all that matters to him is that you’re okay and feel safe with him, and that you can come to him no matter what you’re struggling with.

Hobi: When you finally got up the courage to tell him about your scars, he was stunned. He knew you’d struggled with depression in the past, but to see the physical marks that those times had left on you was crushing. He would get rather emotional as the two of you talked, needing to be close or hug you after as a comfort and reassurance for both him and you that you’re okay now. He’s always soo sweet and sympathetic, though he can’t help becoming rather protective of you afterwards, especially when he knows you’re having a tougher mental health day. He knows he can’t fix your problems for you or keep triggers away, but he can help soften their impact and give you a safe place to vent and process without fear of judgement.

Namjoon: He’s also no stranger to those thoughts, but he never wanted to think that they were something you struggled with. He would be such a complicated mixed bag of emotions as you’re telling him about your past, I could see him maybe struggling with accepting the truth of the situation, even though the evidence is there right in front of him to see. After the initial shock wears off though, he would be soo incredibly attentive and sympathetic, making sure to check in with you extra when he knows you’re stressed or comforting you when intrusive thoughts start to get too loud. He knows that recovery is difficult and non linear, and that although relapses happen, they don’t mean you’ve failed or have to start over, and that your progress is still something to be proud of.

Jimin: He really didn’t know what to expect when you asked to talk to him, but learning about your past struggles and history of seIf harm makes his heart absolutely shatter. He was naturally very concerned and had so many questions, desperate to understand the feelings that had led to your scars and how you’re feeling more recently. He’s definitely a bit clingier afterwards, needing to be physically close to you to help process everything and help remind himself that you’re doing better now. He can’t help but become a bit more protective of you afterwards, hyper aware of things he knows upset you or cause you stress, not wanting anything to come close to hurting you again. Above everything else though, he does his best to make it clear to you that he loves and supports you no matter what, and that he’s always there for you, no matter what you need. 

Taehyung: He didn’t mean to see them at first, but once the truth was out, he reacted with surprisingly quiet, but somber gentleness. He listens quietly as you explain your past struggles, feeling his heart shatter with every word, but he manages to keep it together until you’ve finished before he breaks down, pulling you close, and just hugging you tightly while you both cry. I see him wanting to take the time(again, only if you're comfortable), to properly see your scars, not exactly in the ‘kiss them and make it better’ way, it’s moreso to try and understand them and what they mean to you. Afterwards, he would pay a lot closer attention to your moods and when you’re not feeling your best, checking in and making sure you know he’s there for you if you need anything, even if it’s just talking random shit to keep your mind off more intrusive thoughts. All he wants is for you to be safe and happy, and anything he can do to help ensure that, he will do.

Jungkook: When he first sees your scars, he’s so overwhelmed. He views himself as your protector, and so to find out that you’ve hurt like this in the past crushes him. He’s such a mess of conflicting emotions, he wouldn’t be able to help crying as you explained your past struggles and how they currently affect you. For everything he’s feeling though, he just wants to make you feel as safe and protected as possible with him. I see him being extra clingy for a day or two afterwards, just as a reminder to himself that you’re still here and that you’re doing better, or even if you’re not that he’s there to support you. He reminds you every chance he gets of how amazing and strong he thinks you are, because that’s how he sees you, bearing the scars of battle and coming out the other side victorious.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @feminympho @classicalelephant @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @comingupwithacoolnameishard @bo0ghol @seleneacyoflove @k4ngelz @universal-travel-er @hanaohreally

[self-indulgent-devils]

Would it be okay to be to do romantic headcanons for Alastor x fem! Overlord! reader who's known as the Night Demon and reader controls all of Hell's darkness, shadows, and fears, etc. and is basically the Babadook/Boogeyman of Hell only way worse, as even Zestial is afraid of her, but really she's a sleepy soft Goth girl who loves to sleep and relax and she's not even that bad when you get to know her, but get on her bad side and she'll end you and feed you to her Shadows?

Absolutely! Romantic Alastor headcanons/fics are welcome here. Also love powerful and fearsome characters that are actually soft. So I'm gonna enjoy writing this one. :) Hope you enjoy! (I love this man so much lmao.)

❤️Alastor x fem!overlord!Reader❤️(specifi request)❤️

❤️ Immediately Alastor was curious about you. Not only did he enjoy learning about other overlords, but you stuck out because even ZESTIAL was wary of you. Quite a difficult task to do. So of course Alastor began observing you when he could. He tried to keep it hidden, but with your own shadow powers, he was easily found it.

❤️ With no indirect approach possible, he simply shrugged and decided to approach you. Keeping up his friendly demeanor and introducing himself like a gentleman. First impressions are quite important.

❤️ He didn't really understand your style of dress, but Alastor was not a man to judge. Especially when it comes to women or fem people. He just simply knew nothing about being goth or dressing goth. He did enjoy asking questions and hearing you answer.

❤️ Alastor, the annoying little butt he is, likes to poke you when you're sleepy. Because he can. Because he likes being in others' space and annoying them. It's fun for him. He's careful though. He knows when to back off to not get fucked up. But he's just a playful little shit at the expense of others. Just because you're extremely powerful and even his buddy Zestial is afraid of you changes nothing. If Alastor feels fear, he simply does not show it.

❤️ He likes to watch you sleep. He's a creepy little guy and since you're pretty sleepy and low energy, he just enjoys staring at you. This man just enjoys being off putting and weird. And when you don't seem to mind, he becomes even more curious and continues to do it. Alastor enjoys getting reactions out of people yet you don't react to his usual antics.

❤️ Alastor enjoys visiting you and spending time with you. He's also come to enjoy speaking to you and getting to know you. He won't say he cares about another person, but you're along the lines of Niffty and Mimzy and Husker and Rosie and Zestial when it comes to people he tolerates. So he enjoys engaging with you.

❤️ The time period differences fascinate him more. Alastor does not know much about subcultures especially you're someone more modern than him. But he is fascinated by the Gothic style and learning about what you like. Perhaps he will even get you some gifts to see if he's understanding being goth correctly. Plus goth can be somewhat classy sometimes so he enjoys it.

❤️ Alastor just likes to follow you around. Keeping up that smile. Even if you disappear into the shadows. He can't deny that he enjoys that you have shadow powers. Powers are usually so unique in hell so meeting someone else that can control shadows interests him greatly.

❤️ He won't say you're friends. Just that he is curious about you and he tolerates you. Alastor does not have friends is what he believes. (We all know that's bs.) But if you call him your friend, he will not get upset at you. He enjoys your presence at least.

❤️ Alastor enjoys how soft and chill you are. He doesn't particularly enjoy a lot of boisterous and noisy people. Talkative or hyper is one thing, but he prefers people that aren't super obnoxious. And you being a rather soft and relaxed person makes him happy.

❤️ He will help you style your hair. Surprisingly, Alastor has many skills. And since he's partial to fem folks and women, he is happy to do them for you. He will even recall stories of helping to style his mama's hair. If you don't have the energy to talk while he styles your hair, he's fine with that. Alastor does not mind anything. If you tell him to be quite, he will simply shut his mouth and continue the job.

❤️ Alastor likes to follow you out. He claims it's to observe you. But let's be honest. He just enjoys your company and finds himself wanting to be around you more. So he likes to spend time with you.

❤️ This man may experience romantic attraction, but he's still like somewhere on the aro spectrum and also autistic as fuck and very antisocial and narcissistic too. Like. He is not going to understand romantic cues or even understand that he is feeling romantic feelings. This man hasn't really been in love. It's rare to find people he can tolerate.

❤️ So maybe you just had him follow you to a place you'd like to go for a date. Then you started to be more honest about how you felt. In a very casual way. Alastor just there holding your hand and following you along with his goofy smile. Doing it more casually gives him more time to process what he feels than making it a big symbol of love. At least it was easy to get him on a date since he loves going out with you anyway.

❤️ Alastor has to realize he has feelings. This man does not do feelings or bonds. This man is not a people person. Feelings are weird. He doesn't avoid you or run away. He just spends time contemplating in his mind how he feels. He finds it the perfect time to do this when you're asleep or just sleepy. The quiet between the two of you as you rest and he watches gives him time to process his thoughts.

❤️ His shadow has totally befriended you and totally knows Alastor loves you. His shadow is clearly the one that gets all the social cues and feelings and bonds and everything. Shadow will absolutely help you two get together since Alastor is Alastor and over thinks emotions because he thinks he is exempt from them. (Only to then realize he cares for others, dun dun dun.)

❤️ If you like Niffty, you're good in his books. Niffty is like his daughter. So seeing that you handle Niffty well even though she's quite hyper and weird adds another step of approval to you. Niffty is his baby girl even if he won't admit it or realize it.

❤️ When Alastor sees you snap and be pushed too far, he just stands to the side and watches. Your power mesmerizing him. Standing there perfectly still regardless of anything going on, that same smile on his face. His eyes focused on you. He doesn't realize it, but he finds you beautiful when angry and using your powers. All of that power in someone so unexpected makes him feel something in his chest.

❤️ He does enjoy you feeding people to the shadows. And Alastor would totally hide as a shadow to be fed by you. Because he can. And he enjoys eating demons too. Bonus points if you decide to feed him without him having to even hide amongst the shadows.

❤️ Alastor may not realize how much he truly cares, but if he saw anyone make you cry, I think he would break with rage. Something about seeing you, a powerful overlord, a soft goth girl, someone that can take care of themselves, crying because of someone. It makes his chest twist with rage. He won't let that person get away with hurting you. You're much too beautiful to be crying because of someone hurting you. You deserve good things.

❤️ Alastor will help you scare people to feed on their fear. He will absolutely help you in anything you do if he's available. He really likes your shadow powers. So if you have to horrify some demons to feed on their fear, he is so down. He also loves others being scared of him anyway.

❤️ Reactions to his smile are usually a test. Either a warning or a threat or to see if someone is worthy. You never judged his smile. You never found his staring creepy. How could you when you're your own monstrous self too? That was one thing that initially drew him to you. You acted like he was perfectly normal. People didn't do that. Even when he was alive. Even before he became a killer. People always found him off putting. And yet you didn't. That's one thing he appreciated about you.

❤️ You're also one of the few people that has tolerated him back. Even...cared for him. Mimzy may care, but she's self serving too. Husker may care, but he's also indebted to him so there's resentment too. Niffty is like his daughter and has he own issues. Rosie is a good friend, but they're not close like this. Not like you. He hasn't seen anyone truly try to care for him. So when you treat him so casually even from the start, it makes him feel attached to you. You acted different than others. Even with his friends, it was never as casual at this. And you were one of the few more modern demons to do it. Not even minding his older ways or lack of modern day knowledge. Alastor enjoyed that. It was new. It was odd. It felt funny in his chest. But it made him like spending time with you.

❤️ He's not overly gothic himself, but if you got him some sort of gothic suit or gothics shoes, he might be partial to wear them. As long as it still fit his nice style, of course. Besides. He'll trust you to pick something out that he likes. You're not the type to make him wear something he hates.

❤️ He doesn't understand goth music, but he will listen for you. He enjoys the way it sounds to some degree. He doesn't particularly have much music he doesn't like. And if you're passionate over it, he is going to be more open to listening to it.

❤️ Once he is actually dating you and sorted out his feelings a bit, he would love to plan a date for you. Hell. He'd even invite you to his radio show sometime. If you wanted to go.

❤️ You are one of the only people that can touch him. Niffty can crawl on him as much as she wants. But every other touch he does is usually him initiating it. But if you just hugged him whenever you wanted, he would allow it. A very rare and special thing. He does not like being the one touched. Depending on his mood, he may even hug you back. But he's still not used to physical contact. He's not a physically affectionate person, but he does enjoy your physical affection.

❤️ He shows his love through actions. Listening to you, following you around, taking interest in what you like, doing things like cooking and baking for you, sharing his mama's recipes, sharing stories, styling your hair, helping you pick out what you want to wear, getting you things. He shows his love and his true self through his actions. Many people don't care to notice. But you do. So he's happy to show you all of his love. It's an equivalent exchange. You treat him like a person, he doesn't hate your guts and he allows you special privileges such as affection. That's how he views relationships. And the fact you don't mind that makes him even more attracted to you.

❤️ He likes seeing all of your outfits. Casual, formal, date, bedtime, swimsuit, hot weather, cold weather, relaxing, whatever. He enjoys your fashion sense. So Alastor is very happy to see what you wear.

❤️ You get to see the rare event of casual Alastor. Relaxing in a sweater and some PJ pants, some old style pyjamas, in just a shirt and casual slacks. Casual. Alastor. A rarity as he seldom dresses in less. Even with him being at the hotel, he doesn't really appear in his PJs or anything more casual. So the fact you get to see him in more casual clothes, that shows he loves you.

❤️ He likes sharing his favorite picture shows and songs with you. He also enjoys letting you try on some of his clothes if they'll fit. Nothing that will be stretched out though. He'll just have a custom tailor made replica if you're much bigger than him. He's very particular about his clothes not being messed up and he'd rather not have to hold a grudge against you for stretching his clothes or ripping them or anything.

❤️ He will absolutely sing for you if you wanted. He's a musical boy. He's definitely somewhat of a theater boy. If you wanted to hear his lovely vocals, he will be much obliged to share a song with you. Maybe even sing renditions of your favorite songs in his own, older style. He enjoys watching your reactions as he sings. He's a narcissist and enjoys the attention.

❤️ Alastor is narcissistic and enjoys people talking about him. It's why he loves making a name for himself and being feared, wanting people to even notice when he's gone. Usually he fuels himself through fear and his reputation as almost a cryptid creature in hell. But he's found that your attention fuels him the same way. Hearing your laugh because of something silly he did. Seeing you smile. The way you look at him as he sings. That smile on your face when you chow down on the food he makes. The joy on your face as you go on dates. It fuels him in a way he's never really known before. He's never really had other people fuel his narcissism in this way. He's never really had many people at all. So he very much enjoys having you. A person that fulfills him without him needing to be terrifying or like some eldritch horror whispered about through hell. That's why he's been so intrigued since he learned Zestial was even wary of you. He was simply excited to find someone else that he may be able to relate to. Even if he hadn't realized it.

❤️ Even with your power, your abilities, Alastor does not fear you. He knows he won't do anything to piss you off. He knows you won't turn your abilities on him. He's not really feared you. He couldn't even properly understand why Zestial feared you. But that's just him not being able to relate to others. If anything, your power and the way it shows when others get on your bad side only made him more interested in you. You were beautiful in his eyes. He admired everything about you. The fear of others only drew him in.

❤️ He will make sure no one bothers you when you're tired. Taking a nap? In a poor mood cause you're sleepy? Feeling a sudden energy crash? No one shall bother his darling. You can rest as much as you need, he doesn't mind one bit. And he will make sure you are undisturbed. He doesn't fully understand not having energy since he's a very lively person, but he isn't one to judge. He knows how different people are from me. So even if he doesn't understand, he's not going to be a bother. He's just going to support you.

❤️ Malewife Alastor. Just Alastor with an apron, sleeves rolled up, cooking for you. I just enjoy imagining him cooking. Just. Just everything where he's like a stay at home husband. I think it's just funny and cute.

❤️ Even if you can handle yourself, Alastor will still protect you. What he won't expect is for you to do the same. He doesn't understand why you would want to protect him when he can handle himself. It makes him feel a bit flustered and embarrassed, but he will let you do it, reasoning that if you really want to then you can. And maybe somewhere deep inside Alastor secretly enjoys it because he's not used to that.

❤️ Alastor struggles with chronic boredom so he very much enjoys being around you because you give him something to do. It's why he always enjoys following you around and taking an interest in what you do.

❤️Also be careful what you teach Alastor of modern day things. He may become a nightmare for people if you teach him too much and give him too much power. He will use it against others for his own amusement. And yours too if you find it entertaining. He loves entertaining you after all.

❤️ Alastor made a new friend that later became his girlfriend. Good job, Alastor. Socializing and shit. But he loves you dearly. He always will. Everything about you feels like a perfect match. You don't care about all of his weirdness or his off putting nature or the fact he can be cruel and callous or that he's even a serial killer and enjoys eating dead animals. And he loves everything about how you are. How tired you can get, how you look when you sleep, all of the more modern stuff you're into, your style, your hair, your face, your powers. He just enjoys you. He's found himself someone he loves dearly. Alastor never even really believed he would feel romantic feelings. No one had ever truly come so close before. Yet here you were. You had his heart. And he'd be honored if you would eat it. Alastor now understood a bit of what romantic love was like and why people enjoyed having partners. Cause Alastor can't imagine a life without you. Not when you make it so wonderful and so much less boring.

[masoncantthinkofaname]

Hi Mason, I was hoping you could help or share insight that could give me ideas on how to go about this. My body became chronically ill over 1.5 years ago and it's made it extremely hard to meditate or do any sort of shifting practices due to the pain and discomfort, often it feels like this life is just about managing symptoms.. Even manifesting and seeing it healthy has been a struggle though I have been slowly healing. Given your body here is also ill, I was wondering how you were able to shift? I sometimes get frustrated and sad because I would prefer not to wait to the end of this life before I can shift. I have been working on not identifying with this body but given how loud the illness and body can be, it's really hard not to.. can you please share your perspective, what helped you manage while you were ill and things like that? I'm trying not to make excuses or give reality to these circumstances but I feel like only someone who has also been chronically ill could understand why it's so damn difficult to do this. But if you could do it anyway, it gives me hope.. sorry I know you have limited energy but I hope you're able to answer this sometime when you can (I also sent another ask a while back but I would prefer this one to be answered if I had to pick one). Thanks for being here.

Hello! Sorry for not answering your other ask (yet), I've not had the time or energy to really sit down and answer the endless questions I have on here. But this one is a bit more personal to me, so I will try to answer a few right now!

Shifting with a chronic illness, or any illness in general can be extremely hard. It's not shifting itself that gets more difficult, but finding the peace of mind and the physical relaxation that many need for it that can be hard.

I also deal with a lot of pain and fatigue, so I understand where you're coming from! There's absolutely no reason why you'd have to wait until your death before you can shift.

Personally I always tried to listen to my body, I tried shifting when comfortable, in positions I knew I could hold for a while, and if I got uncomfortable I stopped. It's no use forcing yourself to keep trying if you are in pain.

Lay down, find any position or setting at all that's comfortable, whether it's during the day, at night, or in any angle at all. Remember that you can always shift, so don't put yourself through something that doesn't feel right.

If you really can't find any moments during the day or evening that feel good, try sleeping methods! They might take some adjusting, but it might be a way out if you can't find the peace you need during other times.

Your body will not stop you from shifting, I promise. Don't give up!

[hivemuthur]

I just got into the Arcane fandom recently and seeing people discuss Viktor's potential and capabilities as a sexual and/or romantic partner is really interesting to me as someone who's exploring the asexual label.

I really liked your Humble as I go fic and I do agree with what you said in your notes, but I also wanted to get your perspective on my characterization of Viktor and if it holds any sort of truth to his character as a person who hasn't even finished the series.

Based on what I've taken in, the only way I could see Viktor not having sex is if he didn't see any value to it, but it's difficult for me to fully believe given how his relationship with Jayce is absolutely filled with so much passion and love when they've had no instances of sex. The only thing that would be holding him back from entering that stage in a relationship would be himself. He's a workaholic to the freaking core and the environment that Arcane has these characters in would be enough for anyone to not have the ideas of settling down and finding "the one" in their minds.

But is that enough to label Viktor as ace? Because you can still be intimate with someone even if you identify as asexual—it's a spectrum just like any other queer label. Honest to God, Viktor screams yearning; I have not seen such a character with the potential of being the most hopeless romantic in a hot minute. He is as cheeky as he is passionate, which could definitely translate into other possibilities in bed.

Tbh I think I lost any comprehension of thought midway of this rant. It's 2:00 AM and I hope you're picking up what I'm putting down. I only opened this can of worms because you write for Viktor frequently, so you should have a good understanding of his character.

Sorry for the big rant! Idk anyone in my life who's seen Arcane so Tumblr is all I have rn unfortunately 🥀🙏

Hi Anon!

First and foremost, I think there is no 'right' or 'wrong' in exploring our blorbos, and absolutely everything can be done with them. So, I don't discard any headcanon, or canon for that matter (even though ace Viktor in canon was introduced rather poorly I think it's fully valuable to have him as such in fics).

So yes, totally! Especially that ace doesn't have to come with the aro label! Which agrees perfectly with your yearner Viktor trope. I think on some level platonic yearning can be stronger than sexual one. When it comes to Viktor and Jayce, it's still ambiguous to me in season 1 (I think Jayvik there is very Jaybe, Jaybe not, therefore all interpretations are valid), but season 2 (a little spoiler maybe?): they are definitely obsessed with each other. Big yearning on both sides, platonic or not.

I think we don't see Viktor engaged in any romantic situations in season one, because we've been denied the 7 years in between arcs. And once we get to see more of him, he is... busy trying to not die. So, your: "Viktor not having sex is if he didn't see any value to it" is very right, maybe not so much as he doesn't see any value in it, but literally has no time to waste for it. Sex is a very vulnerable place, I think it's even more vulnerable when you are a person with disability, therefore with death looming I agree that it would be low on Viktor's priority list.

I do like to explore him as a sexual being, I obviously lean toward him being on the dominant side of things and mostly portray him in cishet scenarios, but I do not think that's the one and only truth. I think there is no bounds as to what Viktor is: he can be cis, trans, dom, sub, switch, straight, gay, ace or just simply queer and freaky and vanilla if that's your vibe, and there is nothing wrong with any of it. I also think that since you are exploring your own ace label it might be a really nice way to go in-depth with it through Viktor.

I hope I did pick up what you've put down to your satisfaction. Feel free to ask follow-up questions, but please remember I operate on my personal impressions of a character I like very much.

Also: "you write for Viktor frequently" - that's a very delicate way of saying that I am fully obsessed with him and do nothing else with my life but write silly stuff about him :D Anyway, whenever you want to yap, I'm here!

[betty-fran]

Oh, finally, someone is talking about the connection between Kirk's behavior in And the Children Shall Lead and what we saw in The Conscience of the King. ATCSL is a pretty weird episode, yeah, and I still have some hmm moral questions about it, but I also can't help but appreciate Shatner and Nimoy's micro-emotional performance (and of course, the lighting!) in the turbolift scene (but who can't?).

Anyway, I thought about "how exactly Kirk's past affects what's happening on screen now" when I watched it (but I never really gathered my thoughts on this into anything concrete, so this is just a small add-on to this post), because it's, well, obviously the first association that comes to mind, a destroyed colony/death + orphaned children (with the most unhealthy coping mechanism) + an antagonistic figure behind the crimes + and the behavior of Kirk himself, considering everything we know about his backstory in TOS (given the initial idea of his parents dying on Tarsus IV)/and what we can only guess.

In one of his first conversations with children, he tells them this:

KIRK: I'm sure your parents loved you. That's why they took you with them to Triacus. So they wouldn't be so far away from you for such a long time. That would make them very unhappy and miss you. I'm sure that you would miss them, too.

(Which, okay, feels very much like “I know what I’m talking about,” and apparently so, considering that if his parents were researchers, it's quite possible that they could've moved from place to place even before Tarsus, and the question whether to take children with them/leave them in the care of relatives was a relevant one with this type of work.) It's the frustration, annoyance, and complete lack of understanding on Kirk's part that the kids refuse to acknowledge their parents' deaths, continuing to ignore the obvious reality, that somehow drives the entire episode, and leads to this moment at the end when he simply, without any sentimental pity, shows them a recording of the events from Triacus, including their parents' deaths.

Although this is objectively difficult to call correct from a psychological perspective (often, it can hurt more than help), here it's this tough approach of "look at reality without taking your eyes off it" that works much more effectively than all other softened attempts to lead children to this emotional acceptance of loss/their own guilt in this. [I often see this "Kirk has a great relationship with children" idea in fanfiction, but like, it's hard to call it that in TOS (the only child that aroused (maternal) feelings in him was a space satellite, so). In both here, or in Miri, he clearly feels very uncomfortable around children, and IMO treats them more like adults, not adjusting his expectations of their understanding and responsibility to their age, which actually correlates well with the fact that he himself was forced to grow up early.]

Overall, this is personally Kirk's approach to coping, to be clearly aware of the reality here and now, to live it (no matter how unpleasant it may be), taking responsibility for his actions, and to move on, preferably (as is the case with his traumatic experience) never to return to it again. This requires a strong personal control, and it's not a really healthy coping mechanism in the long run (he copes well with the most difficult situations here and now, but any reminder of the horrors of the past requires twice as many resources from him to maintain control) but it obviously helps him stay in the moment, separating the past and focusing on the present (in reality, such a terrible experience never leaves you completely, and it's truly impossible to fully process it, only adapt to the consequences):

KIRK: My beast is gone. It lost its power in the light of reality. I command again, and I ordered you here.

But personally, what struck me the most was this:

KIRK: Not always, Gorgan. Not this time. You can't hide from them. They see you as we see you. They know what you are. Even the children learn.

Gorgan is IMO one of the weakest antagonists in TOS, and the end of the episode felt a bit rushed, but it was just "oh, really."

It's kind of funny that "And the Children Shall Lead" is a pretty bad episode and then has some fascinating characterization beats buried in it.

Most obviously, Kirk's breakdown is mostly terribly written, but the moment the awful dialogue stops and they just let Shatner desperately cling to Nimoy and have Nimoy whisper "Jim" it catapults to this absolutely god-tier perfect interaction between their characters.

It also tracks on a certain level that when Spock's inhibitions were artificially removed and the deepest most idiosyncratic recesses of his soul amplified in previous episodes, he was miserable and crying and ashamed, with an edge of rage when challenged or when his boundaries are pushed. But here, Kirk stripped of inhibitions with his vulnerabilities amplified is panicking and desperately lonely—yet pretty much the smallest expression of love and respectful support from Spock can yank him right out of it. I need him indeed.

But the other detail I like is that McCoy has a good sense of what's going on with the children from early on, and doesn't really have any difficulty grasping the idea that they're coping with the traumatic losses of their parents and the malign influence of the worst Pied Piper by forgetting what they saw and following directions from the most authoritative figure around. The one who has the most difficulty wrapping his mind around the idea of the children dealing with their trauma by forgetting it is Kirk:

MCCOY: They seem completely secure and unafraid. KIRK: And you insist their behavior indicates traumatic shock? MCCOY: I don't insist, Jim, but I can't dismiss the possibility. KIRK: A child suppresses the fact that both parents are dead? I can't believe it. SPOCK: Humans do have an amazing capacity for believing what they choose and excluding that which is painful. KIRK: Not these children, to this extent. It's incredible. MCCOY: What those children saw is incredible, Jim. The way those deaths occurred, any reaction is possible including lacunar amnesia. That's my diagnosis. Until specific tests can be made, it remains that. KIRK: I'll be guided by that opinion, doctor, for the present. What about questioning them? MCCOY: Not until the fabric of the traumatization weakens or you come up with another explanation for their behavior.

It's always nice to have an episode where McCoy is insightful in a very characteristic way and stands his ground on the fronts of genuine decency and medical ethics. It makes a lot of sense for him that he's concerned with the children not crying and showing no signs of grief as obvious indicators that something is very wrong with them. Spock, whose particular childhood miseries are nothing like this, can at least imagine how such a coping mechanism might be true, if in a rather cold and distant way (he's pretty cold and distant towards everyone but Kirk in this episode). But Kirk, someone horrifically traumatized as a child who values his controlled performance of himself and never cries, struggles the most to understand.

Since I prefer to experience TOS as its own thing, without considering much beyond occasional details that didn't make it into the scripts but are entirely compatible with the show as aired, for me this is extra apropos because the writer of "The Conscience of the King" had intended for TOS Kirk's father to die opposing the fascist coup on Tarsus IV that laid the foundation for Kodos's genocide. Other staff forced him to simplify the backstory and remove any reference to Kirk's family, but the more elaborated earlier backstory lingers in references throughout the aired episode and TOS never contradicted anything in it (Kirk's parents are never mentioned in TOS, including in the discussion of his brother's family showing up to celebrate Kirk receiving command of the Enterprise).

But it's such a contrast to the emphasis in "The Conscience of the King" on how the Tarsus IV eyewitnesses can't forget, can't help but recognize Kodos, can't help but remember. Kirk very much does not want to revisit Tarsus IV and prefers to relegate it to the past rather than face everything Kodos's survival means for him, even if he ultimately can't resist the opportunity for long-delayed justice—and, simultaneously, he retains a letter-perfect memory of Kodos's genocide speech, heard once as a thirteen-year-old boy twenty years earlier. If his parents did die in the coup/genocide (which frankly makes more sense within TOS and requires less desperate straining IMO), then him looking at these unconcerned orphans frolicking around and getting to forget while Kirk is just baffled and frustrated and disbelieving that this is even a possibility—there's a kind of sense to it.

This whole dynamic around the children's uncanny valley behavior also leads to this wild moment with Spock later:

KIRK: They don't understand the evil that they're doing. SPOCK: Perhaps that is true, but the evil that is within them is spreading fast, and unless we can find a way to remove it— KIRK: We'll have to kill them.

Okay!!

[itsmistyeyedbi]

I have another assignment due this coming Monday, but I have little to no motivation to start thanks to this specific lecturer's hard on for AI💀

[ofgrenvde]

"I'm sorry about your grandfather," she said, and meant it. Losing someone who'd been that important to him, especially when he was taking on so much responsibility, must've been brutal. "That's a lot to handle when you're already dealing with grief." She took another sip of wine, thinking about his question. The FBI thing was tricky territory but maybe she could give him something real without spilling everything. "I couldn't quit because my partner was murdered and the case went cold suspiciously fast. So I transferred here instead." The words came out easier than she'd expected. It felt good to tell someone at least part of the truth, even if she couldn't explain the whole mess. "Smart move with Cian though. Building those partnerships probably makes everything more stable in the long run. You're thinking like a businessman, not just a winemaker."

Jesse Romero

Why he opened up to her, he wasn't sure. Maybe it just felt like the right thing to do. Maybe now she'd see he wasn't all that bad. He was opening up and he wasn't all that bad. "It's alright. It's been ten years." And still, it hurt that his grandpa was gone, even if he wouldn't admit that part out loud. His eyebrows shot up at the truth, "damn. So…are you in hiding or are you doing your own investigation?" He was curious now. Since they were being honest, he felt like he could ask. "Oh yeah. I'm a fantastic businessman. I know what I need to do and my grandpa gave me all the tips I needed to succeed. He was a great guy. Everyone loved him."

Aarti Sanwal

"Thanks," she said quietly. "Yeah, I'm doing my own investigation. That's why I'm moonlighting at Pete's—people talk when they think you're just some bartender." The words came out easier than expected. Honestly, he already knew she wasn't what she seemed, and he'd kept quiet about it. That had to mean something. "I'm glad you haven't told anyone, by the way. Even after everything that happened between us, you could've made my life really difficult and you didn't." She picked up her wine glass again, needing something to do with her hands. This whole conversation felt surreal. A few weeks ago they couldn't stand each other and now she was basically confessing her secrets to him. Life was weird sometimes. "Love that confidence. More people should be like you." In the business sense, of course. The petty part of him, she would rather not meet again. "Cian is a nice guy, isn't he? I actually feel bad for keeping this from him."

Jesse Romero

He nodded slowly as she spoke, "I know I could have but," Jesse lifted his shoulders up, "I'm really not as bad as I've made myself come off to you. I'm a good guy." But he knew that a lot of guys probably said that. There were probably tons of guys around Devil's Junction that didn't think they were half bad but he genuinely wasn't. He didn't get caught up in any of the crime and he had a good heart. "He's nice but I think he'll understand. It's not like he can't find another bartender and you're almost like an undercover bodyguard. If he knew, he might be grateful." He joked, attempting to keep the mood light.

Aarti Sanwal

"I know I could have but I'm really not as bad as I've made myself come off to you. I'm a good guy." She almost laughed at that. Here she was, lying to everyone about who she really was, and he was worried about his reputation. "He's nice but I think he'll understand. It's not like he can't find another bartender and you're almost like an undercover bodyguard. If he knew, he might be grateful." Undercover bodyguard. That was one way to put it, she supposed. Though protecting Cian wasn't exactly her priority here. She was using his bar to get information, not keeping him safe. But Jesse didn't need to know that part. Maybe it was stupid to keep opening up like this, but something about how he genuinely seemed to care made it hard to stop talking. The wine probably wasn't helping either. "I guess that's one way to look at it. Though I'm not sure Cian would see it that way if he found out I've been lying to him this whole time."

Jesse Romero

Surely, when the time came, he would understand and the two of them wouldn't have anything to worry about as far as their relationship went. Cian had to know how much deceit floated around Devil's Junction and it wasn't like Aarti was there to plot to kill the man. "You never know." He replied, lifting his shoulders up into a shrug. "But regardless, I think it's noble of you to continue to go after whoever attacked your partner. I don't know how many people would move here of all places, cop or not. I know this place has a reputation and unfortunately, it's not a good one. I guess I'm just lucky my wine is good or things probably wouldn't be working out for me business wise."

Aarti Sanwal

"Yeah, this place definitely has a reputation. Can't say I didn't know what I was getting into when I moved here." Moving to Devil's Junction had been crazy, but what choice did she have? The case had gone cold in Chicago and everyone seemed perfectly fine with that. Sebastian deserved better than being forgotten. He'd been the one person who really got her, who understood why she cared so much about getting justice for people who couldn't get it themselves. Now she was stuck pretending to be just some bartender while trying to figure out who killed him and why. "It's not noble," she said, her throat tightening. "He was my best friend. I joked that one of these days, he might have to avenge my death because I was the reckless one. Turns out..." She shrugged and swallowed hard. "So about these wines, how many cases should I get for Cian?"

Jesse Romero

He didn't mean to make things emotional or to over step in any way. After all, he was just trying to make conversation. Looking over at the woman, he took in a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean, you know, anything by it..." And Jesse really hadn't realized that he'd said something wrong. Clearly, he did and he was a bit of an idiot. As the conversation turned back to wine, his hands shoved themselves into his pockets. "Don't worry about it. I'll deliver some cases back to the shop. I have to run some other deliveries into town later anyways and so I can just add you guys to the list. I'll bring at least four to start off with and he can text me accordingly when he needs more."

Aarti Sanwal

"Don't apologize, you didn't know," she said, completely meaning it. Honestly, how was he supposed to know about Sebastian? She'd never told anyone the full story, and it wasn't like she wore her grief on her sleeve. Most people saw her as just another bartender who'd moved to town for whatever reason. Jesse had no way of knowing that talking about her partner would hit so close to home. She was glad that he didn't push for more details or try to offer some meaningless comfort. Picking up the wine glass again, she took one last sip before making her decision. "I'll take four cases to start with," she said, setting the glass down. "Thanks for doing this, Jesse. I'm actually glad we're becoming friends." This whole thing had turned out way better than expected. A few weeks ago she would've rather chewed glass than spend an hour with him, and now here they were having actual conversations like normal people. Maybe that's what happened when you stopped trying so hard to dislike someone—you realized they weren't actually that bad after all.

COMPLETED

he hoped his grandpa was proud. He tried to make sure that it lived up to the legacy the older man built. “I hope so. He, you know, passed away not too long after I took over. I actually kind of took over before expected because he was sick.” Not that she asked for his life story but while they were talking, he figured that he might as well open up. He nodded slowly, showing the woman that he was listening. “So why didn’t you? Quit, I mean.” He was curious as to what her end goal was and why she was hiding things from her family. “I’m just expanding into the industry. It brings in more income if I sell to people, like cian, who will carry my wine at their place.”

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[jackkin-memories]

thinks about when you lay in someone’s lap and as they speak you hear and feel the rumble of each word in their chest

[theabigailthorn]

What are we supposed to do now? By ‘we’ I mean UK based trans women and transfems. How are we meant to continue? Knowing the country hates us. The law refuses to accept our existence. Everyone wishes we would just shut up and disappear. How are we supposed to live like this? I know I can’t.

Let me tell you a very funny story that might make you feel better.

Not long ago I called the suicide hotline feeling exactly the way you describe. The volunteer on the other end was an older cis lady, and I was like, "Hey, I'm trans - all this stuff is happening, the government says blah blah blah, the court says XYZ, and I feel like I'm living in this really hostile country that hates me, and it sucks!" I told her how angry I was, how much all this makes me hate by fellow human beings, how much I wouldn't care if Britain sank into the sea or was burned away to ashes along with all its inhabitants, and how ashamed I am of feeling such venom and cynicism.

And there was a bit of a pause.

And the volunteer lady says, "What's trans?"

I - Joker makeup bursting from the pores of my face - explain to her what being transgender is. She has questions like, "So, what was the legal process like, what do you have to do?" and I'm like "Oh HO HO HO! Let me tell you the hoops I had to jump through!" and she's like "Wow, that sounds so difficult?" and I'm like, "HEE HEE HEE I haven't even gotten to the difficult bit yet!" I'm ranting, I'm pacing my living room like a tiger, quoting Merchant of Venice and Coriolanus down the phone to this woman on the suicide hotline, like "If you prick us do we not bleed?! If you tickle us do we not laugh?!" "I banish you, and here remain with your uncertainty!" (She's like "I remember this Shakespeare from school!") It feels like I'm vomiting up this black sludge of hate that I've built up, like people spit on me and I've absorbed all that spit and now I'm burning with it.

So at the end of all this the volunteer lady's like well yeah of course you feel angry, that makes perfect sense! Anybody with a heart would feel the way you do! Of course you feel cynical and bitter and despairing! And she tells me that she hasn't seen any of this, but it's shocked her. She thinks this court case sounds like a really backwards step; she thought Britain was progressive. And I'm like, "I used to think that too, and the loss of that illusion hurts."

But then she goes well look - these judges and politicians, they live in a bubble. They don't really know what life is like for ordinary people like me and you. There are plenty of people in Britain like her, who just don't really pay attention to this stuff. There might be some who throw things at me in the street and treat me poorly, but there are also a lot of people who are just... normal? And fine? And who are just doing their own thing, and who are appalled to discover this kind of thing is happening? And I'm like oh yeah - I guess if the country was destroyed all those people would go too... It's not true that everyone wants us to disappear.

And she says she's going to go home and look all of this up because it sounds like trans people are really being mistreated, and she's like "Thank you for telling me all this. I hope you feel better."

And I'm like yeah you know what, I kinda do. It helped to have someone else go, "I understand how you feel." So, y'know, we've got one more ally at least.

[coolbeans495]

Finished The Turing Test...........

LET ME GIVE T.O.M. A HUG I FEEL AWFUL 😭😭😭

[vynlrecord]

♡ is the light sleeper in the room with us?

At first when you’d asked Simon to move in with you, he seemed excited or well, as excited as Simon allowed himself to show. Yet as it got closer and closer, you weren't so sure.

“You probably won’t ever get a good night’s sleep again. I'll constantly be disrupting it.”

"I have nightmares and night terrors, I’ll probably scare you-"

“I’m such a light sleeper, everything wakes me up and puts me in a panic."

It was almost like he was trying to dissuade you from sticking to your decision, giving you an out in case he was too difficult for you, you knew exactly how his brain worked.

But you loved him, and nothing he was saying was making you change your mind, not even close to it.

You prepared anyway, looked up everything you could with how to handle certain night terrors, best things to say or not say, whether you should wake him up if he’s having a nightmare, everything.

Then the first night came, and you were ready to be woken up at 3am, maybe to Simon shouting or crying or something and you pictured all the things you’d do to calm him down, grab him some tea, maybe gentle reassurances as you wiped his tears, whatever it took. 

But none of that happened.

The first night, he slept the whole way through, completely undisturbed and you would know because ironically you were the one who didn’t sleep the first night. You'd stayed awake, worrying, wanting to make sure he was okay, checking for even a slight twitch or a face of anguish but, nothing.

And then a few days later, on an early Sunday morning, your neighbour had decided to mow the grass. It was unbearably loud and you'd sat up, internally screaming because who chooses 7am to cut grass on a Sunday?

And Simon? Well he was completely out.

You looked at him, wondering if he was pretending for a moment, giving him a little nudge. He'd shuffled a little in his sleep before letting out a few soft snores, it was like he was on another planet completely.

And it kept happening. He'd sleep through alarms, and not just one or two but enough in a row that you had to turn them off yourself and tell him to wake up. Phone calls too, slept through every call, no matter the ringtone, no matter how loud. Your cat's 4am zoomies? Not even a flinch.

You were so confused, he'd worried constantly before moving in about ruining your sleep and now it was like sleeping was second nature to him, which you wouldn't have questioned if not for the repeated warnings of how light of a sleeper he was.

It made no sense, Simon couldn't understand it either, but you were quite happy with it of course, and so was he. Whenever you thought about it for too long, it actually made you smile, there was something sweet about it to you.

Perhaps it was your apartment, the fact that the space was yours, maybe your presence was helping him, you'd even joke it was your cat's soothing company. Or maybe it was the soft sheets, in a bedroom that felt cosy. A proper homely space, one that Simon wasn't quite used to in his old place, all bare walls and no decoration, not even a comfortable mattress. He'd never bothered with anything except the bare minimum, a vast difference to now.

Whatever it was, he was actually sleeping, peacefully for once, he couldn't remember the last time he was able to say that.

But what Simon did know, was that he felt completely safe with you and seeing him like this was the most beautiful thing to you.

[deliwrites]

𝕐𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕆𝕦𝕣𝕤 // Saja Boys & Huntr/x

// DATE // 29th of June 2025 → 30th of June 2025 // PAIRING // Huntr/x x Fem!Reader x Saja Boys // WARNING // Angst-ish?, I'm bad at writing award shows but I had to make it difficult for myself and make one anyways. // WORDS // 2.5k+ // SUMMARY // When a nervous solo artist unexpectedly finds herself seated between two of the biggest idol groups at an award show, she expects to be ignored - only to be met with warmth, curiosity, and a spark of something deeper. As the night unfolds and her past resurfaces, what began as a whirlwind of insecurity slowly transforms into unexpected support, and a silent promise from the people who were never supposed to notice her.

// Part One // Next //

If I could explain it, I would. But I can’t.

I have just been hyped up on social media, by none other than Huntr/x and the Saja Boys. And I only just met them at an award show. I was obviously my clumsy self and literally stumbled into Zoey. I felt so embarrassed. I looked up to them, still do, and just went and made a fool of myself in front of them. Later that night I was assigned a seat between the two groups.

I don’t know how I got so lucky… and so unlucky at the same time. It was so hard not to freak out. What I expected was to be ignored by both groups. I was a nobody and yet I got to sit with them.

I didn’t deserve this. Not the seat, nor the proximity to them. Hell, they didn’t deserve to be seated with someone as low as me.

But they actually talked to me. At first I wasn’t sure if they were even talking to me, but when I didn’t respond Rumi placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. It startled me.

“I’m sorry, w-were you talking t-to me,” smooth y/n. I scold myself. She only smiled sweetly, like she understood.

“Is this your first award show?” she asked again.

“I- yeah,” I stuttered, grimacing as I awkwardly pulled my shoulders up. “Is it, obvious?” she nodded, chuckling softly. Probably because of the wide eyed expression on my face. Simply because this goddess of an idol was talking to me.

“Just a little,” she says, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal. “We’ve all been there, but don’t worry. You’re safe. We got you. Any questions you have about events like this, we can answer them,” she gestures to herself, then the girls who were now focused on my too. “Including them, right boys?” she asks the Saja boys on my other side pointedly. My cheeks heated in embarrassment, as I turn to my left where they sat.

They’re all watching me. Relaxed, effortless, like they were born to be idols. There was a shared look between them, no words spoken. A smirk here and a smugly raised brow there.

“Sure,” Jinu replys casually, shoulders lifting in an easy shrug. Smile tugged at the corner of his mouth like he knew something I didn’t.

I returned my gaze to the front, but theres a new feeling that I couldn’t shake. Like I was being watched, though if I peeked in the corner of my eyes it wasn’t them. Or was it?

“Don’t mind them,” Zoey says, waving her hand dismissively. “Relax, I know it’s nerve-wracking to be here. But it will be okay,” she lifts her shoulders in an exaggerated shrug, then lets them drop, signaling me to do the same. Then she leans back into her seat. I nod, taking a deep breath and lowering my shoulders before sinking into the seat completely. The tension finally loosening just a little.

“By the way, who are you?” It’s Baby, the maknae of the Saja Boys. Normally the silent type, but I’d heard he can be blunt. This is apparently one of those moments.

“That alone proves to me, that I should in fact not be here,” I mutter under my breath, not knowing they heard me loud and clear. Doubt settling in my throat like it did when I first walked in. I sigh and shake my head, trying to push it down. “I’m Y/n.”

Little does she know that both bands exchanged glances, stunned for a brief moment. They couldn’t understanding why she spoke so little of herself. Sure they didn’t know who she was, but they were sure there had to be a good reason for her being here. They most certainly wanted to find out more about her.

Before any of them could say anything one of the hosts entered the stage.

“Annyeonghaseyo, everyone! Welcome to this years K-pop Rising Stars Awards!” the host spread his arm wide as he spoke. Grand gestures to capture the audiences attention. “The night where we celebrate the freshest talents, the most unforgettable songs, and the idols who’ve taken this year by storm,” the moment he stops talking his co host enters the stage enthusiastically. Joining to stand beside the first host.

“Hello, hello! I’m Seyeon and alongside Minjun,” she introduces the both of them. “I’m thrilled to guide you through an incredible evening packed with excitement, anticipation and of course amazing performances,” cheers fill the venue.

“Tonight, we’ll be honoring a whopping fifteen idols and groups with well deserved awards!” Minjun exclaims, throwing an excited gesture toward the massive screen behind him as the list of categories light up in bold glittering text. I knew the Saja Boys and Huntr/x were nominated for multiple of these categories, which they absolutely deserved.

You would think that I would be nominated for ‘Rookie of the year - Solo’, or maybe ‘Hidden gem award’. Even the ‘Fan’s choice award’ would have made more sense. But no, I was nominated for the ‘Heartfelt Voice Award’. How? I still didn’t understand. It was as much of a shock for me as it was for my manager.

“So, sit back, enjoy the show, and let’s celebrate the incredible journey of our beloved idols - both those just beginning and those shining brighter than ever!” Seyeon brings the energy down gently, her voice calm and methodical as the crowd begins to settle. Turning to her co-host with a smile. “So, Minjun… what category shall we start with?”

“Let’s start with a bang!” Minjun replies with excitement. “How about we start with ‘Album of the year’,” music starts playing as the nominated albums show on the screen. Out of the corner of my eye - bottom right, just barely - I see him. My ex, Seo Jaewon. He’s looking straight at me with that smug look on his face that might as well be a middle finger in a tux, but I ignore it. I have to. I knew his group, NOIR7, was nominated for multiple awards too, including this one.

“Why is he looking this way,” Mira mumbles, just loud enough to make my stomach twist. The stiffness returns to my shoulders like a reflex. Of course she had to notice him.

I decide to just keep quiet. They don’t need my drama in their lives. Focusing my attention back to the hosts. They are both glancing at the screen.

“Wow,” Seyeon breathes. “So many incredible albums. How could we possibly decide on a winner?”

“Luckily, we don’t have to!” Minjun replies with a grin. He pulls an envelope from behind his back, Seyeon joinin ghis as he slowly, deliverately peels it open. Stretching the tension across the room. “The winner of ‘Album of the year’ is…”

“Huntr/x!”

Zoey squeals with excitement. The three hugging while the audience including myself clap. Someone even whistles. A smile graces my face with genuine happiness for the group. They pass me and the Saja boys to get to the stairs that led to the stage.

Wow, Mystery things, she looks kinda cute when she’s this happy. But it’s more than that. It’s the way her eyes light up - not just for the win. It’s adoration, an adoration she holds highly for Huntr/x.

He watches her a moment longer than necessary, feeling a pull he can’t explain. He’s so distracted by her that he doesn’t even clap for his friends win.

Rumi steps up to the microphone, Zoey holding the award, visibly excited for the win. Even though this is far from their first win. “Thank you so much for this incredible honor,” Rumi starts sincerity clear in her voice. “We’re truly grateful to our fans, who inspire us every day, and to everyone who believes in our music and message,” my heart swells warmly at her words a content sigh leaving my lips which does not go unnoticed by the boys. “This award means the world to us, and we promise to keep working hard and growing together. Thank you!”

Soon they return to their seat, placing their award on one of the three small coffee tables arranged in front of our large couch. For a while the smile doesn’t leave my lips as the categories continue. Saja Boys win two awards before NIOR7 wins one.

Jaewon smirks at me deliberately. Clapping the rest of the members on the back as they make their way to the front. Smug and cocky.

“What is up with him?” this time it’s Romance who notices. My gaze drops, fingers curling tightly into the fabric of my dress, bunching it at my thighs.

“It’s me,” I mutter. No use pretending anymore - Jaewon’s public hatred is impossible to ignore it seems. Even for them.

“What does that mean?” Mira asks, I can feel her eyes on me as I sigh in defeat. Shaking my head, I wanna scold myself for sharing this with the people that shouldn’t have to deal with my shit.

“Jaewon is my ex,” I tell them, visibly shaking with the anxiety crawling up my spine. “He’s just trying-” I take a shaky breath. “Trying to shove it down my throat that he’s better than me. Which… he is,” I hate to admit it but I’m going on a ramble now and there’s no stopping me. “We’ve been doing this the same amount of time but my music never took off-” a bitter laugh escapes me. “Meanwhile, he’s out here winning awards, selling out arenas… and I’m just a nobody,” I lift my gaze carefully, fighting back the tears pooling at the edges of my eyes. “It’s like no matter what I do, I’m always one step behind. And he… he makes sure I never forget it.”

Their faces are soft, no judgement, just understanding. My hands loosen their grip on the fabric. Taking a shaky inhale, I glance over at Jaewon who’s still holding his acceptance speech like he is the center of attention.

“Why would he do that?” Zoey’s voice is soft and gentle, reaching across Rumi to take my hand. I shrug my shoulders, an awkward near tears smile on my lips.

“I don’t know,” it’s barely a whisper as it leaves my lips. “I guess he just wants to break me down so I don’t tell-” I stop myself from finishing. Missing the look of curiosity mixed with anger from the eight around me.

“And now, with this nomination, it’s like he’s laughing at me in front of everyone,” I swallow hard, the sting of tears threatening. “I should not be nominated-”

A protective urge flares within them. They are not just interested anymore. Now they want to make sure she gets votes. Recognition, the win.

“What are you nominated for?” Jinu cuts in, his voice serious. It confuses me but I answer anyway. Telling them know the category like it made zero sense and the song I was nominated with. Their eyes flicker with a sudden recognition. Without a word, a silent agreement passes between them.

I want to ask ‘Why?’ but before I can, Jinu takes his phone out. One by one, the others do the same. Confused I turn to Rumi, Zoey and Mira. They too have their phones out. Not wanting to be rude I don’t peek but I can’t hold in my curiosity. Tears pretty much drying up instantly with the need for answers.

“What are you guys doing?”

“Getting you more votes,” Abby says like it’s obvious.

“Wh-what?” my eyes widen, completely stunned. “But- why? How?”

“When you said the song,” Romance starts while still typing on his phone. “I realised I do know the song.”

“It is a heartfelt song,” Mira adds which surprises me. They know my song. “And your voice fits it extremely well.”

“Wait, you know my song?”

“Of course,” they all say in unison. But they don’t know me..?

“How?”

“We got it sent as an offer for our album,” Rumi says. “But we declined it because we thought it should belong to the original artist.”

“But it was always my song…,” I trail off, unsure what to believe anymore. “It was never meant for others…? I never-” realization dawns on me as my eyes search for Jaewon. “He stole it. Oh my god, it makes so much sense now.”

Silence falls over the group, heavy. There is a shift in the air that brushes over my skin, but I can’t put my finger on. Zoey’s mouth parts in disbelief. Rumi’s expression darkens, jaw tight, eyes fixed on Jaewon across the room like she could burn a hole through him with her stare alone.

“He submitted it… as his,” Baby says quietly, like he’s piecing it together in real time.

That’s bastard, Romance thinks, clutching his phone tight. Composing himself quickly before his patterns show. His fingers move fast. One post goes out. Then another. Then another. Until every account he has, on every platform has a post, pushing her song. His screen glowing with the need to fix this.

“But how do you guys even know of my song?” I ask Jinu, confused cause the song wouldn’t fit their group. In my opinion.

“We got to listen to it as well because we are signed with the same label,” Jinu replies calmly, exhaling slowly, sharp and controlled, but there is fury in the stillness of his body. He keeps to himself that he still has the demo saved. That when he feels down, he listens to it on repeat.

“You wrote that song?” Mira asks, her voice almost softer now. “Every word?” I nod, taking my own phone out to show them pictures of my physical note book.

“Look, these are the lyrics,” I show them a page with crossed out lyrics, rewritten and changed again until I thought they were perfect. They all lean in. A little too close.

“Then you’re not just meant to be nominated,” Zoey says firmly, her tone leaving no room for argument, stunning me. “You’re meant to win.”

“What- no, it’s not that-” I try to protest, stumbling over my own disbelief. I don’t deserve this. Not their support. Not their attention. Not this.

But Abby speaks before I can finish. “We’re going to make damn sure you do,” his voice low and final. The others nod in agreement.

This isn’t about the award anymore. It’s about her. About what was taken from her. About giving back what belonged to her in the first place.

I sit there, stunned and overwhelmed, for the first time that night, I don’t feel so alone.

But she has no idea just how far they’re willing to go, to make sure she never feels this way again. They know not nearly enough about her yet. But they will. The song already tells them more than she realizes. Little glimpses into her heart, her fears, the way she views the world. It’s raw, honest, painful. The can’t unhear it. Can’t unsee her. She thinks they are just being kind. That it ends with some extra votes and sympathy. Doesn’t know it’s something bigger, deeper. Quiet for now, pulsing beneath the surface.

// Part One // Next //

[foxy-eva]

Send Nudes

Summary: Chaos ensues after you accidentally send Spencer a nude pic

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader 

Category: Smut

Content Warnings: (18+, minors DNI) dub-con (Spencer receives an unsolicited nude pic), embarrassment, awkwardness, tension, heavy kissing, male masturbation, oral (fem receiving), handjob, protected penetrative sex

Author's Note: I wrote this for @imagining-in-the-margins Wrong Recipient Challenge!

Word count: 3.2k

Masterlist

Panic. Embarrassment. Shame. 

It was hard to describe what you felt when you stared at your phone, realizing that you had just sent Spencer Reid a nude picture of yourself. 

It was a mistake, of course – right when you wanted to send him a screenshot of an article, you stumbled over the mess in your apartment and selected the wrong picture. Frozen in place, you watched in horror as the read receipt showed up instantly. 

Spencer had just seen your naked body light up on the screen of his phone. 

A picture he never asked for and probably didn't want to see. It wasn’t a bad photo, some might even call it aesthetically pleasing. But you had never intended for anyone else to see it. It was just a way for you to make yourself feel good about your body. 

You contemplated your options. Burning your phone, moving across the country and changing your identity sounded intriguing but difficult to arrange. Instead you decided to text Spencer, hoping that soon you’d both be able to laugh about the embarrassing thing you just did. 

“I am so sorry about that. I really didn't mean to send that! Can you please delete the pic and forget about it?” 

You didn't get a response. Spencer was never great at texting but you had really hoped to hear back from him. It was hard to tell if he felt just as embarrassed or maybe even offended – you certainly wouldn't want to receive unsolicited nude pics either. 

You had barely gotten any sleep when you walked into work the next morning. Worst case scenarios had plagued your mind all night – from another painful workplace sexual harassment seminar to maybe even losing your job over your mishap – you had no idea what would expect you today. 

Everything seemed normal when you got to your desk, except for the fact that your favorite coworker didn't even look at you when you walked by him. Spencer usually liked sitting beside you in the conference room and also on the jet, but he did neither of those things that day. 

“Wow you really must have pissed Reid off, huh?” Luke whispered when he sat down beside you on the plane. 

“Did he say anything to you?” you wanted to know. 

“No, he didn't. What did you do? Spill coffee over his favorite chess board?” he teased. 

“Oh it’s so much worse than that,” you whined while heat rushed to your face. 

Emily decided to discuss the case before Luke could ask more questions. Spencer avoided you for the next couple of hours until you decided you both had suffered enough. 

A quiet moment in the coffee kitchen of the police precinct seemed good enough to approach him.

“Hey Spencer,” you said and noticed how he almost jumped at the sound of your voice. 

“H…hi,” he mumbled, his eyes fixated on the floor.

Stepping closer, he finally looked at you for the first time that day. The rosy shade spreading over his cheeks was impossible to ignore. 

“I’m very sorry about the… you know. I didn't mean to send it but I understand if you feel offended by it,” you sincerely told him. 

“I’m not… offended.”

You took a deep breath before you continued talking, “All I want to say is… if you want to discuss this incident with Emily or even HR, I would understand. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable in any way.” 

“No, it’s okay, really,” he lied. “We can just forget about it.” 

Spencer Reid was good at many things. Lying, however, definitely wasn’t his strong suit. You decided to drop the subject for now, aware that talking more about it would probably not make him less uncomfortable. 

The tension between you two was palpable for the rest of the workday. When you stepped into your hotel room that night, you were relieved to finally have a couple of walls between the two of you. 

If this thing didn't resolve soon, you’d have to talk to Emily about it eventually. But there was still hope that it wouldn't come to that. The embarrassment about your mishap was already bad enough as is.

The three knocks on your hotel door startled you. With your heart beating uncomfortably fast, you walked over to the door to find Spencer on the other side. 

He walked into your room without saying a word. Then he began slowly pacing up and down your room, still silent. He looked at you for a second but his sight fell to the floor immediately after that. 

“I uh…” he began before taking a deep breath. “I lied to you earlier.”

“About what?” you wanted to clarify. “Wanting to go to HR?” 

He shook his head. “I said that we can just forget about it but I don’t think I can do that.” 

Your heart felt heavy at his words. His discomfort pained you and you wished nothing more than to be able to take it back. “I’m so sorry Spencer.”

“I deleted the image off my phone but…” he paused to finally look at you. The expression written over his face was hard to read. What you didn't find was the discomfort you expected. Instead he looked… cocky?

He continued, “...it seems like it’s burned into my brain. And I can’t help but wonder, was it really an accident?”

“What?! Of course!” you squeaked. “Believe me, I would never want to send you a picture like that unprompted.”

That was when you saw a subtle smirk on his face. “Interesting choice of words.” 

You thought about it for a moment. Had you really just implied that you would want to send him nudes if he’d ask you to? 

“That's not what I meant,” you tried to brush it off. “And please don’t give me a lecture about Freudian slips.”

His presence filled the room and you felt like you couldn't take deep enough breaths to satiate your need for oxygen. His demeanor was so different from what you were used to and you had trouble wrapping your head around it.

His next question was even more surprising. “Who did you take this picture for?” 

The undertone in his voice was unsettling and you started feeling defensive. “I don’t see how that's any of your business but just for the record, I took it for myself. I do that occasionally to make myself feel good about my body.” 

It seemed as if he was content, almost relieved with your answer. You scanned his body language again and replayed his words in your head. Then it hit you all at once. Spencer was not here to scold you for what you did. 

He was jealous. And he wanted to make sure no one else got to see your picture. 

A grin formed on your face as you realized that you could play this game too.

Your tone was laced with a certain playfulness when you asked, “What did you do after you saw the picture?”

The change of your demeanor seemed to take Spencer by surprise. “I just told you, I deleted it.” 

“I don't think that's all you did.” He audibly gulped and you noticed his cheeks taking on a reddish color. Stepping closer to him, you whispered, “Did you touch yourself, Spencer?”

A shaky breath left his mouth before he confessed, “Yes.”

“Naughty boy,” You teased him. “You really liked that image, hm?” 

Nodding, he took a step forward until there was barely any space between the two of you. “I can't stop thinking about you.”

His words boosted your confidence. “I know I look great in that pic. But I think I would look even better in this lighting right here, don’t you think?” 

Before you could bring to action what you had insinuated, you felt Spencer's hands cupping your face to pull you into a kiss. The surprised gasp escaping your throat was muffled by his lips against yours. 

He kissed you with a fervor that knocked the air out of your lungs. Weakness rushed to your knees and you had to hold onto him to not tumble back. One hand pawed at his shirt while the other one held onto his shoulder. His lips felt soft yet firm against yours. 

When his tongue begged for entrance, you let it. As he deepened the kiss, you could feel heat rushing through body. A few moments ago you really thought you’d have the upper hand in this game you were playing but now realized you were just as pathetic as he was. 

Maybe sending him that image was a Freudian slip of some kind. Or maybe it was just some odd plan the universe had to bring you together. Either way, you were grateful for how things turned out. 

Your hands became curious as they wandered over Spencer’s body. The tingling in your fingertips could only be soothed by feeling his skin underneath them, so they quickly began unbuttoning his shirt. Spencer showed a similar interest in feeling more of you by the way his fingers dropped down to the hem of your shirt. 

Piece after piece both of your clothes fell to the floor, only ever breaking the kiss for as long as necessary. When you stood completely bare in front of one another, you dared to press your body against his to feel him. 

It was impossible to tell who moaned first when his length pressed against your stomach. With a firm grip on his shoulders, you moved him back until his legs made contact with the edge of the bed. You pushed down until he sat on the mattress, staring up at you with a curiosity in his eyes that made your heart jump. 

As you stepped back, his tongue darted out of his mouth to lick over his lips and you wondered if he thought about tasting you. To your surprise, he managed to not break eye contact until you challenged him, “Go on, take a look.”

His sight scanned your body, lingering on your breasts for a second before moving further down, taking everything in. You couldn’t hold back from looking at him, too. A rosy color had spread all over his cheeks and chest and when you dared to drop your eyes to his cock, you noticed how it twitched slightly against his thigh. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he cooed when your eyes met again. 

“Better than the image?” you teased, smirking at him. 

He only nodded before looking at your body again. It was like he was mesmerized, as if a miracle had just unfolded right before him. It became obvious that he was ready to worship you if you’d let him. But first, you had something else in your mind. 

“Show me exactly what you did when you saw my picture,” you told him. 

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “Wh… what?” 

“Don’t be shy now,” you snickered. “Come on, I wanna see how pretty you think I am.” 

The sweet smile on your face seemed to encourage him enough to let his right hand move towards his hardness. It was as if he needed reassurance when he found your eyes and you nodded.

He wrapped his fingers around his cock, giving himself a squeeze and you watched as precum spilled over the tip. Slowly, he began moving his fist up and down his length, swiping his thumb over the head each time he got to the top. The groan that slipped from his lips could only be described as absolutely sinful. 

You couldn’t deny how much the sight in front of you turned you on. Spencer was so incredibly beautiful and the thought that your body had the ability to make him feral like that drove you insane. 

Arousal gathered at your entrance the longer you watched him. This show was no longer enough for you, you needed more. Your hands found the curve of your chest, gently kneading them before your fingers began toying with your hardened peaks. Spencer’s eyes were fixated on your hands, his mouth hanging wide open and unabashedly moaning at the sight while accelerating the pace of his hand. 

Then suddenly, he stopped and got up from bed. Desperation was written all over his face when he looked at you. 

“Please,” he begged as he stepped closer. “I need to touch you.” 

It was everything you wanted right then, too. 

“I’m all yours, Spencer.” 

His mouth was on yours in an instant and he didn’t waste any time to move you over to the bed to push you onto the mattress. He followed quickly, towering over you as he kissed down your neck, making you moan in anticipation of what would follow. 

He moved further down your body, kissing and nipping on the tender flesh of your breasts before focusing his attention on your nipples. The sensation was almost unbearable and you could feel how your arousal began coating the insides of your thighs. 

Spencer smiled against your skin when he noticed you rocking your hips against his leg every so slightly. His confidence grew as he realized that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you. 

“Needy,” he chuckled as he kissed down your stomach. “That’s cute.” 

Right then you couldn’t care less about being in charge, you just wanted to be taken care of. When his lips brushed over your inner thigh, you opened your legs further to give him better access. He lay down between your legs and didn’t waste any time before he began leaving feather light kisses against your folds. 

You watched as he licked his own lips, tasting your essence on them before he found your eyes. 

“You’re so wet,” he teased and let a finger move along your slit. “Is that all for me?” 

He expected a witty response, like you telling him to bring his mouth to good use for once. So it took him by surprise when you simply sighed, “Yes.” 

There was no more game to play. No more back and forth of who was in charge. It was just the two of you, equally as desperate to finally do what you both had been dreaming of for weeks.

“Good,” Spencer whispered, his hot breath tickling your core, before he finally granted you some relief. 

His tongue moved through your folds, collecting your taste before he focussed on your most sensitive spot. He experimented with different motions for a few moments, paying attention to your reactions until he found what you enjoyed the most. Your hand flew to his hair, your fingers intertwining with his curls to hinder him from moving away – even though he had no intention to do so, anyway. 

With one arm wrapped around your thigh he hindered you from bucking uncontrollably against his face while his other hand found your entrance, letting two fingers slip into you with ease. He moved with great precision, adjusting the angle and the pace according to your reactions, bringing you closer to your breaking point with every second passing. 

The sounds of your pleasure filled the room as you began dancing along the brink of euphoria. With just a few more skillful motions, he pushed you over it. Your walls pulsed around his fingers while your entire body shook. He worked you through your orgasm before he lay back down beside you, placing a gentle kiss against your lips. 

You were still panting when you found his eyes. The warm amber of his irises was almost completely swallowed by his pupils, the lust visible in his eyes contradicting the saccharine smile he showed you. 

“You okay?” he breathed as he wrapped one arm around your waist. 

“Yeah,” you confirmed while one of your hands moved down his body. 

Tentatively, you let your fingertips brush along his length, feeling his velvety skin under your touch. “Now what are we gonna do with you?” you purred as you wrapped your fingers tightly around him, making him gasp. 

With a torturously slow pace, you moved along his cock. “Tell me, Spencer. What do you want?” 

“I uhm…,” he audibly swallowed. “I have a condom in my pocket.” 

The fact that he brought a condom to your hotel room when he came over early amused you. He never had any intention of just talking to you. 

“So, you want to fuck me?” 

“Yes,” he admitted unabashedly. “If you want that, too, of course.”

With a nod you confirmed that that was exactly what you wanted as well. Right after you let go of him, he grabbed his pants from the floor to take out the foil wrapper. You watched as he ripped it open and carefully rolled down the condom. 

Then, he kneeled down between your legs, taking a moment to admire the beauty of the woman in front of him. 

“Come here,” you cooed and he leaned over you without hesitation. 

Reaching between your bodies, you guided him to your entrance. He closed his eyes when he slowly entered you, relishing the sensation of stretching you open inch by inch. When he was fully inside you, he kissed you before he began moving with slow thrusts.

Wrapping your legs around his hips, you brought him even closer. When he was sure that you could take it, he accelerated his pace, fucking you against the mattress until you were sure you would lose your mind. 

Spencer’s body began trembling and he suddenly stopped moving. 

“Sorry, I’m really close,” he whined and tried to pull out slightly. 

“Don’t stop,” you pleaded as you kept him in place with your legs around him. “Please, I need it.”

One of your hands moved down to where your bodies were joined to desperately draw circles around your little nub, making you clench hard around his hardness. 

“Fuck,” he whimpered as he began moving again. “I can’t, ah–” 

With just a few more deep thrusts Spencer came, his cock twitching inside you as his whole body shook. It was enough to throw you over edge too, entering a state of pure bliss together with him. After you had both come down from your high, you welcomed him inside your embrace, your fingertips gently dancing over his back as he caught his breath. 

For the sake of getting cleaned up you separated for a few moments, only to lay back down together soon after. A shaky breath fell from Spencer’s lips and caught your attention. 

“So…,” he began talking but didn’t continue. 

You propped yourself up on one elbow to find his eyes. “Yeah?”

“I wanted to ask if maybe–” 

“You want me to send you that pic again?” you interrupted him with a grin on your face. 

“No,” he laughed. “I mean… that’s not what I wanted to say.”

Still in a teasing mood, you snickered, “But you would like to see that pic again?”

“You know what,” he chuckled as he lifted the blanket to get a peek at your naked body. “I think I actually prefer this.”

“Good,” you chirped. “If you want to see more of me you’ll have to take me on a date though.”

Placing a soft kiss on your lips, he whispered, “Deal.”

Thank you for reading! Please like, reblog and leave a comment to show your support and help me stay motivated to write more stories!

Taglist: @adoredfromafar @grumpyy-bearr @frickin-bats @pleasantwitchgarden @cynbx @xserenax-13 @alexxavicry @samuel-de-champagne-problems @evvy96 @reidsbookclub @lover-of-books-and-tea @sebs-oxygen @nomajdetective @kobaltdragon @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @castiels-majestic-wings

[a-casxandra]

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐀 𝐓𝐖𝐎-𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄.

Zayne x non-mc, angst because that's all i'm good at lol

𝑺𝒚𝒑𝒏𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔 : Dating a renowned cardiac surgeon was never meant to be easy—but falling in love with a man who already has a child and a history he never quite let go of? That’s something else entirely. Caught between hospital corridors and family day events, you tries to find your place in Zayne’s world—until one mistake shatters the fragile balance, and you're forced to ask yourself the question that’s haunted you from the start: did you ever meant to belong?

Being a surgeon’s girlfriend is already difficult—but what if your boyfriend also has a child with his ex?

When you first started dating Zayne, he didn’t hide anything. He told you about her—MC—and their daughter, Aurora. You were stunned for two reasons:

One, that Zayne Li, of all people, was dating you.

And two, that he had a child out of wedlock.

Still, you told yourself you could handle it. That you would try.

But no matter how hard you tried to be close to Aurora, she would quietly slip away. No tantrums, no words—just cold avoidance. At first, you told yourself she was only six. She couldn't possibly be hostile, right?

Zayne often brought you along to see her. Said it would help. You played along. Even MC was polite, if a little…off. You told yourself it was nerves—maybe jealousy. Or maybe it was just you, trying to ignore the invisible thread that still seemed to tie her and Zayne together. The shared child. The memories. The easy familiarity.

One evening, while sitting across from Zayne at his house, you hesitated before speaking.

“Zayne… do you think we could go out next Saturday?” your voice was soft, almost reluctant.

He was just returning from work, undoing his coat and sinking into the couch with a tired sigh. “I’m sorry. I have a scheduled surgery that day.”

You nodded, then asked again, a little more hopeful, “Then… how about Sunday?”

Zayne leaned his head back and rubbed a hand down his face. “Aurora has a family day at school on Sunday. She asked me to be there... You understand, right?”

You did. You always did. But this time, something inside you pushed back.

“…But you’re always busy,” you said quietly. “If not at the hospital, you’re with them. What about me?”

“What about you?” Zayne said sharply, straightening. “That’s nonsense. We live together—you see me every day.”

And just like that, the silence cracked into an argument.

But it never lasted long. Zayne, as always, came back to you hours later—apologetic, calm, promising to make it up to you. And he meant it. He always meant it.

So here you were, at Aurora’s school on a cold winter Sunday—Family Day.

Zayne brought you along again. Said it would help. Said it mattered.

You stood on the sidelines, watching him and MC playing with Aurora.

They looked so natural together. Laughing, moving in sync, fitting into the same frame like a picture that had never been taken apart. Aurora was radiant between them. And Zayne… he looked so happy.

They looked like a perfect family.

And you?

You were the stain on the canvas. The outsider in the photograph.

You flinched slightly when you felt a small tug on your sleeve. Aurora stood beside you, looking up and pointing at a nearby ice cream truck.

You blinked, surprised. She’d never approached you before.

“You want that? Okay, let’s get you one,” you said gently, a quiet warmth blooming in your chest. Maybe… just maybe, this was a start.

But the moment shattered in an instant.

Aurora began coughing violently—ice cream falling from her hand, her little fingers clawing at her throat as she struggled to breathe.

Panic consumed you. “Aurora?”

Zayne and MC rushed over immediately. You fumbled for words, heart racing, explaining what happened—but you barely got a sentence out before MC’s face twisted in alarm.

“She’s allergic to dairy!” MC cried, snatching Aurora from your side. Her eyes were wide with fear—and something else. Accusation.

“I— I didn’t know—” you stammered, heart racing. You were shaking. You didn’t know.

“She’s six! You should’ve asked!” she snapped, voice cracking with panic. “I know Aurora doesn’t like you—but you didn’t have to do this! Was it really that bad? That you had to—” Tears welled up in her eyes as people began to gather, murmuring, whispering. Judging.

You turned to Zayne, desperate. “Zayne, I swear—I didn’t know—”

“Shut up, [Reader].”

The words hit you harder than anything else. His voice was sharp. Cold. And worse, disappointed.

Zayne never yelled. Never lost control. And now, he couldn’t even look at you.

He scooped Aurora into his arms, MC following close behind. And without another glance in your direction, they left—getting into his car and driving away.

You stood there, frozen. Surrounded by strangers with pointed eyes and low murmurs.

They didn’t know you. And yet… they were already judging.

And somehow, you didn’t blame them.

Because in that moment, as the wind bit at your skin and your heartbeat rang in your ears—

You knew the truth.

You didn’t belong here.

You never did.

Author's note : comments is very much appreciated! i like reading your comments and also, should i do a part 2? zayne's pov, maybe.