#themes identity and vulnerability
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I enjoy seeing your writings pop-up in the character tags. I also especially like how much fun you have with some of the prompts.
I saw requests are open, so I have an interesting request for you. The HSR Universe is ripe for suggestions and weird things, so why not?
I couldn't decide on who to pick for this prompt. So for maybe like 3 HSR characters of your choice, can I ask for a reader that decides to take an experimental drink, thinking nothing of it, but it ends up leaving reader reader with a temporary heart mark on their skin that turns colors based on their emotions? (I.e. A mood ring type of situation?)
“Feelings Are Just Colors in Disguise”
Tags: Sunday x Reader, Mydei x Reader, Anaxa x Reader, Slow-Burn Hints, Emotional Connection, Magical Realism, Light Mystery/Speculative Magic, Emotion-Based Magic, Slight Introspection and Internal Conflict, Light Banter (Especially with Anaxa), Gentle Warmth and Comfort (Mydei and Sunday), Themes Of Identity And Vulnerability.
Warnings: Minor Injury Mentions (No Graphic Violence), Emotional Vulnerability And Exploration Of Complex Feelings, Mild Existential Themes and Philosophical Reflection (Anaxa, Sunday), Brief References To Past Trauma Or Loss (Handled Sensitively), Experimental Magic and Body Markings.
A/N: I'm glad you enjoy them! <33

The battlefield was quiet for once.
You sat near the campfire, a little tent away from the rest of Mydei’s soldiers. Your fingers curled around a strange flask handed to you earlier by one of the alchemists from Okhema. “Experimental drink,” they’d said. “For fortification.” You barely listened—tired, thirsty, and desperate for anything that didn't taste like boiled roots and despair.
The liquid was sweet and strange—like pomegranate but effervescent and tinged with cheese. Oddly comforting.
Within minutes, a sharp warmth bloomed across your collarbone. You looked down and gasped.
A glowing heart-shaped mark pulsed there, tinted gold-orange.
“What in the—?”
“...You’ve been marked,” came a voice behind you, low and steady.
You turned to see Mydei, the Guardian of Amphoreus himself, crouching beside you. His eyes narrowed at the glowing heart. “I’ve seen marks of magic, but not this.” His gaze was calculating but not unkind.
“It changes color,” you muttered, pressing your hand over the glowing skin. “Based on emotion, I think.”
“It’s orange now,” he murmured. “Hopeful. Curious.”
You swallowed. “Is that...good?”
Mydei’s fingers brushed yours away gently. His gauntleted hand hovered near the mark, not touching—but close enough that you felt the heat between you.
“You should rest,” he said. But he lingered. “I’ll stay. To make sure it doesn’t...spread.”
You caught a flicker of red in the heart.
He noticed too. A rare smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Red. You fear me?”
“I—No!” you stammered. “That was—surprise. Not fear.”
“Mm.” He tilted his head, hair catching the firelight. “We’ll see.”
The mark flickered again—a warm, soft pink.
He didn’t tease. He didn’t gloat. Just leaned in closer and whispered, “Then you have nothing to be afraid of.”

“Drink this,” Anaxa said, sliding a shimmering vial your way across the cluttered workshop bench.
You frowned. “Last time you said that, I couldn’t stop quoting dead philosophers in rhyme for three hours.”
“Consider that a success,” he grinned, wild-eyed and amused. “This one’s subtler. Stimulates emotional resonance. I hypothesize it’ll project your internal state to the surface.”
You rolled your eyes—but downed it anyway. It was teal and fizzled like starlight.
And then it happened. A searing sensation just over your heart. You yanked your shirt aside, revealing a vivid heart symbol on your skin—magenta.
“Fascinating!” Anaxa clapped. “Magenta—emotional intensity. Possibly love. Or embarrassment. Maybe a repressed desire to throttle me. Which would be fair.”
You stared, horrified. “It glows!”
He leaned forward, eyes gleaming. “So does truth. Most people just spend their lives hiding from it.”
The heart flickered bright red.
“Ah—anger now. Excellent emotional range. You're practically a living thesis.”
You stood up. “This is humiliating!”
He didn’t stop you—just followed you out into the moonlight, curious.
Silence stretched. You wrapped your arms around yourself, heart glowing violet now.
He studied the color. “Fear and mystery,” he said softly. “But not of me.”
“No,” you admitted, voice small. “Just...of what this means. Of being seen.”
Anaxa was quiet a moment. Then, to your surprise, he took off his glove, revealing a crimson sigil glowing faintly on his palm. “Then let me be seen too,” he said, placing his hand just inches from your heart.
The mark shifted to silver-blue.
Clarity. Vulnerability. A chance.

It happened during the layover at a celestial observatory.
You wandered through the festival bazaar, eyes catching on a Halovian vendor’s glittering elixirs. You asked for something new. Something unique.
They gave you a gentle drink, honey-smooth with lavender undertones. The moment it touched your lips, you felt warmth settle over your chest. Then—the mark appeared.
A faint heart, right above your sternum. At first, it shimmered pale blue.
You found Sunday sitting on the edge of a terrace, eyes watching the cosmos.
When he saw you, his wings fluttered gently. “You’ve changed,” he said, and your breath hitched.
You explained quickly, nervously—about the mark, about the drink.
He studied it silently. Then: “It’s...beautiful.”
You blinked. “It’s revealing.”
“Most beauty is.”
The heart glowed peach, soft and warm. Sunday’s eyes flicked to the color.
“I wonder,” he murmured. “What would I see if I bore such a mark? Guilt? Longing? Maybe...hope.”
You sat beside him. “Try,” you said, lifting his hand and placing it near your heart.
The heart turned a deep gold.
For a moment, Sunday said nothing. But his halo glowed softly, and a breeze stirred his scarf.
“That’s new,” he said. “It means you feel...safe. Around me.”
You looked at him, truly looked—and saw the flicker of conflict behind his serene mask.
“Maybe you could try,” you whispered. “Letting someone in.”
His fingers curled around yours.
And the heart turned white.
Peace. Maybe fleeting—but real.

#x reader#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#sunday x reader#sunday x you#sunday x y/n#mydei x reader#mydei x you#mydei x y/n#anaxa x reader#anaxa x you#anaxa x y/n#slow burn hints#emotional connection#light banter#magical realism#slight introspection#internal conflict#gentle warmth and comfort#themes identity and vulnerability#hsr x you#hsr x y/n#hsr x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail x you#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader#honkai x reader#honkai x you#honkai sr x reader
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how multiple or significant planets in each house influence personality & behaviour:
1H - may be hyper-aware of appearance or personal brand. driven to assert themselves. naturally self-oriented & self-sufficient.
2H - deeply absorbed with material comfort & may tie identity to possessions. motivated to build & preserve resources (financial stability). may have a “mine” mentality, guarding what they own or value (taurus ruled).
3H - restless, talkative & in need of constant stimulation.
4H - deep need for safety, privacy, nurturing. heavily shaped by family dynamics & childhood imprinting. may have mood swings or an intuitive nature.
5H - craves attention, fun, passion. can be highly performative (dramatic, charming). deep desire to be admired & validated, seeking applause as emotional sustenance.
6H - health-conscious & service-oriented (virgo ruled). can be hypercritical of self & others (perfectionist tendencies). finds fulfilment through being useful & over-identify with being needed.
7H - functions better in intimate partnerships & feels incomplete when alone. may encourage others to depend on them, in attempts of maintaining the connection.
8H - intensely private & fears vulnerability. often experiences power struggles or emotional upheaval. attraction to themes which are: taboo, spiritual, mysterious, esoteric, authentic. life includes multiple “deaths & rebirths” therefore evolving through crisis.
9H - needs adventure & learning. drawn to higher education or different cultures.
10H - may struggle with authority figures (teachers, bosses) or crave becoming an authority (ceo). craves success, structure, recognition (capricorn ruled). public image is both a a source of strength & pressure.
11H - may idealize friendships, leading to disappointment. prefers being emotionally independent & struggles to emotionally entangle. wired to push for social change & mutual aid (humanitarian & activist).
12H - sensitive to collective emotion & needs solitude to recharge. drawn to pursuits which are: spiritual, artistic, escapist.
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Beyond the Transcripts || Wonwoo [Teaser]
Pairings: Ceo!Wonwoo x Legal Head!Fem!Reader
Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, exes to co-parents to lovers au, second chances au.
Synopsis: Jeon Wonwoo, the calmest and untainted CEO to ever exist, gets his world shaken up when he finds you as the legal department head at his own company and your only registered family is a little guy who resembles him a bit too much.
Alternatively, you are smooth in onboarding Wonwoo into your son's life but problems arise when he tries to slide back into yours.
Warnings: Themes of co parenting, mentions of past difficult pregnancy, misogynistic slurs being used at workplace, minor accident, profanities, heartbreak, secret identity, workplace jargons.
Drop Date: Anyday next month.
Check out the masterlist for THAT'S SHOWBIZ, BABY! Please support all the amazing writers white putting up so much effort!
Thanks to @lovetaroandtaemin, Ally for coming up with this beautiful banner (even after I ate her ears off and made her do several banners for this one), I'm really grateful!
TAGLIST is closed.
Main story out now checkout here!
At the sound of the door closing, your gaze lifts.
Wonwoo walks towards you, in large but steady strides, just as you have remembered. He stands in front of you, at a distance. Your gazes meet and the time stops.
Wonwoo hasn't changed much, his eyes hold the same depth. He, you assume, still likes his hair side parted with locks clipped so they don't fall on his face. The scent of the same perfume lingers in the air, the one which he had always claimed as his signature. The frame of his glasses aren't geometric anymore, he goes with pilot nowadays.
And before your mind could trace back on the memory lane deeper, you decide to slip into the momentum.
Because, he's the man, who had broken your heart, had left you alone to pick up the pieces on your own.
“Mr. Jeon”, you bow to him, giving a small smile. Your heart beats erratically, as you continue to speak, “You must be busy so I won't take much of your time.”
The title you call him by is foreign to Wonwoo's ear. It always used to be strings of sickly sweet nicknames.
He watches the changes time has brought upon you. You no longer seem like the carefree law major from back then. You, no longer are the girl who'd cry over smallest things, speak the first thought that comes to your mind.
While Wonwoo loses touch with the current predicament, you line up several documents on his desk in specific order.
It's exacting because you used to know him so well, maybe even now if he hasn't emerged entirely as a different person. You see the way his eyes are on you but the dilated pupils give away the fact that he's running miles in his head.
So you wait, wait for him to come back to the present, to this moment.
And he does, a few minutes later. You can tell it by the way his gaze locks into yours right away, his lips curling down in slightest.
“How have you been, Y/N?”
His voice strikes a chord in your heart, before it reaches your ear. The voice that you used to love so much, the voice that sung you to sleep on restless nights, the same voice which called when your name, it summoned your soul.
Years of preparation goes down in the trench as you're about to break down at the first set of words you hear from him.
But you can't, you're not the same vulnerable Y/N, who used to strip bare in front of her lover.
“I think we have more important matters to discuss, Mr. Jeon.”, you speak through your gritted teeth.
“But you promised you'd answer all my questions.”, Wonwoo reminds you calmly.
“And this is what you want to know?”
“Out of all things, first and foremost, yes this is what I want to know.”
You find it ironic. Trapped in by his words, you answer truthfully, “I just can't sum up everything but I have been holding it in, thanks to Wonjae.”
Wonwoo perks at the mention of your son's name, well his as well.
“The first document is about me as Wonjae’s legal guardian, consenting to you conduct a DNA test.”, your gaze is gentle as you point at the bunched papers, “I don't want any questions, any fingers raised at my son in future.”
“But I don't–”
“I request you to conduct one.”
Your sharp tone shuts up Wonwoo completely, though not willing, he nods.
His gaze sweeps across the rest of the document which promotes him to ask, “What are the rest of these documents for?”
Your eyes turn somber. You've studied law, practised it. You know all the nooks and crannies and you're a mother who is raising her son against all odds.
“The second document is a contract that states that if you don't want to be associated with Wonjae then the fact that he’s your son will be concealed and never brought up by me. If I ever do so”, you turn the pages and show him the space left blank, “You can fill up the breach statement and penalties in this section, I have left it blank.”
Wonwoo gapes at you in disbelief, “What do you think you're trying to pull here?”, he speaks in a low tone but you can hear the agitation ringing in it, “What do you think of me, Y/N?”
You don't deem it necessary to answer his questions and proceed further to explain the contents of the last document.
“If you have any concerns about me working in your company and see me as a threat or identify me as someone who has the potential of stirring up trouble then you can ask me to resign but under the conditions that I work here until I find another job.”, your attitude has shimmered down from being hyper to nonchalant, now that you have done your part.
Wonwoo observes you in disbelief and at himself in distaste because he's the reason behind the version you are currently showcasing.
“Also, I have prepared the clauses for custody just in case you're willing to share responsibilities in future. I'll bring it to you if you decide to be a part of Wonjae's life.”
You say terms, speak things all in legal language and Wonwoo just listens.
“I would have suggested you to run these documents by your legal team to cite any negotiations or catch any flaws but unfortunately, it would mean that I'd be the person you'll need to work with.”, you smile sardonically, “So it would be better if you contact someone who's not affiliated to this company.”
He wonders if things would have been different if he stayed and in the midst of the storm that whirlwinds in his head, he asks, “Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant?”
What a simple question to ask. But are all questions meant to have an answer?
“Would you have stayed?”
Silence falls upon.
You give him a knowing smile, “Just when you were leaving, I asked you something, do you remember?”
Yes, he remembers, all of it. The way you had chased him to the station, your face wet, eyes bloodshot from crying. The way you just stood in front of him, mumbling the last question you had as the train entered the platform.
“What if I have something important to tell you, something that could change our lives? Would it make you stay?”
“There’s nothing left to salvage. Nothing's gonna stop me from leaving. This is the end for us.”
It answers his previous question. It makes sense now, he didn't only leave you, he had abandoned his unborn child as well.
Some fences cannot be mended, some bridges can't be cemented. Just like this relationship, which once bloomed beautifully, is now wilted.
→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️
#that's showbiz baby!#svtshowbiz#jeon wonwoo#svthub#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo#wonwoo scenarios#wonwoo fanfic#wonwoo oneshot#seventeen wonwoo#svt wonwoo#svt#seventeen#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo angst#wonwoo smut#ceo wonwoo#seventeen scenarios#svt scenarios#svt fic#svt angst#seventeen angst#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt x y/n#seventeen x y/n#seventeen imagines#seventeen au#svt au#svt imagines
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Mars in the Houses and Friction
Mars in a house brings:
- friction and urgency because something feel unstable
- desire to control or dominate that area
- where anger and ambition are triggered most easily
- a place where the person feels they have to act alone
- instinctive self-defense mechanisms
- early vulnerability or confrontation around themes of that house
Where one acts fast, reacts hard, and rarely feels relaxed. Feels they can’t trust others to handle that area, so they take the lead or lash out. Survival pattern or to establish autonomy.
Note: can apply to Aries or Scorpio ruled houses as well.
Mars in the 1st House
- this person has a constant readiness to act or defend; tends towards physical or verbal aggression; strong survival instincts but also overreaction
- physically strong, restless body, tense, fast-moving
- temperament is assertive, defensive, or combative; comes off forceful or reactive even when unprovoked
- identity is built on acting first, self reliance, and dominance; jumps into things without thinking
- prone to accidents, injuries, inflammation, fevers, heated confrontations
- often viewed as threatening or “too much/intense” by others, leading to isolation or rivalry
Mars in 2nd House
- tends to possessive, territorial, or suspicious about loss or theft; connects self worth to resource control; gets angry when they feel controlled or dependent
- tends to hoard what’s theirs, sometimes aggressively
- desire is grounded in tangible outcomes, like money, food, and tools; obsessed with money, possessions, security, which tend to be tied to conflict
- financial insecurity or early scarcity fuels survival stress; had to fight to keep or earn resources
- competes with others over money or physical territory
- work life marked often by toil and resource-related disputes
Mars in the 3rd House
- argumentative, mentally restless, verbally sharp; their speech is fast, reactive and possibly aggressive; argues fast and doesn’t back down; always mentally on and easily irritated
- distrustful or defensive in familiar surroundings
- tendencies to dominate in discussions or prove intelligence
- tends to have/have had conflict with peers, siblings, neighbors, or extended family
- may have had a dangerous or stressful local environment growing up (educational or spiritual institutions included); hostile or noisy environment
- experiences frequent short term stress or disruptions in daily life; always in situations where they have to “prove” their voice
Mars in the 4th House
- deep-seated emotional defensiveness; reacts strongly to personal threats, especially from close family; pushes family away or tried to control them;
- loyalty is fierce but can turn into resentment; doesn’t feel safe easily
- often private but erupts under pressure, volcanic temperament; bottled up anger
- had domestic conflict or unstable home lifestyle early on, possibly abvse; may have grown up in a hostile environment or with a controlling parent
- inherited unsolved family anger or trauma
- may leave home early or experience displacement;
Mars in the 5th House
- a show-off, expressive and competitive in romance, art, or sex; risk-taker; always fighting for stimulation, attention, or approval
- temper flares when pride or creativity is criticized; easily provoked when not admired;
- pursues pleasure with intensity, sometimes destructively; may suffer consequences from impulsive pleasure seeking; can’t enjoy things without trying to win at it
- may have conflict in romantic life or with children
- their creative project often involve struggle or provoke rivalry
- attracts intense relationships that often include power struggles
Mars in the 6th House
- overworks to prove self worth; physical stress internalized, prone to fatigue or chronic issues; focused anger into routine or health regimens
- often takes on difficult or thankless roles; puts up with bad conditions until they snap; doesn’t complain but grinds until they collapse
- prone to injury, illness, or workplace conflict
- subordinate roles often involve tension or exploitation
- struggles with being undervalued or overburdended
- daily life feels like constant damage control
Mars in the 7th House
- seeks dominance or control in relationships; projects anger or aggression onto others
- attracted to strong or combative partners; often attracts enemies or lawsuits
- struggles to maintain peace in one-on-one relationships; love and war often feel like the same thing
- frequent conflicts in marriage or close partnerships
- may often be challenged by powerful rivals or mirrors of their own aggression
- open conflict tends to be a repeated life them
Mars in the 8th House
- emotionally intense, often guarded or paranoid; holds grudges, desires deep control or leverage; manipulates or controls quietly
- sex, trust, and power are fused with aggression or fear
- reactions strongly to vulnerability or perceived betrayal
- tends to be involved in shared money or inheritance disputes, or manipulative power dynamics
- fear of loss or abandonment shapes relationships
- may experience other’s rage, death, violence, or secrets early on in life
Mars in the 9th House
- fiercely opinionated, confrontational over beliefs or ideology; seeks conflict thru debates or philosophical battles; belief systems shaped by rebellion not tradition
- their motivation is tied to mission, vision, or purpose
- distrusts authority systems, preferring to challenge or reform; gets burned by systems or tries to break out of them
- tends to have conflict with educational, legal, or religious institutions; also tension with teachers, judges, or foreigners; hates being told what to think
- travels may be linked to danger, conflict, or transformation
- converts belief into action but may burn bridges in the process
Mars in the 10th House
- tends to be rather ambitious, hard-driven, and goal oriented; may have a commanding or intimidating public presence; often views life as a “career battlefield”
-takes conflict personally when their status or role is threatened
- clashes with bosses, authority figures, or institutions
- career gains often come thru struggle, conflict-oriented roles, or high-risk moves
- tends to have their reputation built or destroyed thru conflict or risky decisions
- their public life is often tied to bold actions or public failures
Mars in the 11th House
- tends to be competitive in group settings, seen as difficult or abrasive
- pursues goals with obsessive energy
- aligns with groups that fight for something or against someone
- has trouble cooperating with collectives yet drawn to group power, and social clout
- experiences alliances that dissolve into open hostility
- goals achieved thru hard effort but at cost of support
- friendships marked by betrayal, competition, and ideological conflict; friendships often charged with rivalry or tension
Mars in the 12th House
- acts impulsively without knowing why, tends to be self sabotaging or reactive; anger is hard to access consciously, leaks out thru misfortune; feels like they’re always fighting for something they can’t name
- suppressed anger created inner turmoil or indirect aggression
- may appear passive but harbors hidden rage; may endure spiritual or psychological battles in secret
- self defense patterns are covert, repressed, or misdirected
- suffers due to unseen enemies, their self undoing, or isolation; isolates when overwhelmed
- conflict tends to appear in hidden places, like hospital, prisons, institutions, their subconscious
#mars in the houses#mars#aries#scorpio#mars in astrology#mars signs#mars in the 12th house#mars in the 1st house#astrology#astrology observations#astro notes#astro community#astrology signs#astronotes#houses in astrology#astrology tumblr#astrology blog#mars in the 2nd house#mars in the 3rd house#mars in the 4th house#mars in the 5th house#mars in the 6th house#mars in the 7th house#mars in the 8th house#mars in the 9th house#mars in the 10th house#mars in the 11th house
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Tips for writing internal conflict
1. Define the Core Dilemma
• Internal conflict occurs when a character faces a choice or emotional struggle within themselves. This dilemma should challenge their values or identity.
• How? The struggle should feel deeply personal and tied to the character’s motivations.
• Example: A character who values independence but must rely on others in a life-or-death situation.
2. Make it tied to their core values
• The conflict should challenge what the character holds dear—whether it’s their morals, desires, or goals.
• How? The inner conflict should push the character to re-evaluate their beliefs and priorities.
• Example: A soldier torn between duty and personal ethics, forced to choose between following orders and doing what’s right.
3. Amplify with external consequences
• Link internal conflict to external consequences that impact the character and those around them. The choices they face should have significant repercussions.
• How? Show how the character’s internal conflict influences their decisions in the real world.
• Example: A character haunted by guilt must choose whether to admit their past mistakes, risking their career and relationships.
4. Show the pressure building over time
• Internal conflict intensifies when it’s compounded by time, increasing stakes, or mounting external pressure.
• How? Create scenes where the character feels the weight of their choices growing heavier with every passing moment.
• Example: A character whose addiction threatens to ruin their life, struggling to break free but tempted by old habits every day.
5. Conflict arises from competing desires
• Internal conflict often stems from having two equally strong desires that cannot coexist.
• How? Put your character in situations where they must choose between these desires, both of which seem vital.
• Example: A character torn between pursuing their dream job across the country or staying to care for a dying parent.
6. Explore their fears and insecurities
• Internal conflict can also be driven by the character’s deepest fears or insecurities, which affect their actions and decisions.
• How? Fear of failure, rejection, or loss can prevent them from acting, making every decision feel like a battle.
• Example: A character who has been hurt before refuses to let anyone in, even though they deeply crave connection.
7. The power of self-sabotage
• Let the character’s internal conflict lead to self-sabotage. They may avoid decisions or create obstacles to protect themselves from facing their own feelings.
• How? Show how the character's fear or internal resistance undermines their progress.
• Example: A character constantly pushes away someone they care about because they fear their own vulnerability.
8. Use internal dialogue to show the battle
• Let readers hear the character’s internal struggle through thoughts, doubts, or justifications. Internal dialogue can make the conflict feel more immediate and real.
• How? Keep the internal dialogue sharp, reflective, and in line with the character’s voice.
• Example: “I want to tell them the truth, but what if they leave? Can I really risk that?”
9. Drive change through resolution
• The internal conflict should lead to growth or change in the character. They should evolve, learn, or make peace with their internal struggle.
• How? The resolution should feel earned and reflect the character’s journey.
• Example: A character who fears commitment learns to trust and embrace vulnerability in the face of love.
10. Let it affect the bigger picture
• The resolution of internal conflict should impact the story’s larger arc, showing how the character’s inner change leads to progress or a new direction.
• How? The resolution should tie back to the theme and forward momentum of the plot.
• Example: A character who learns to forgive themselves is able to take the final step in reconciling with a loved one, mending broken relationships.
Follow for more!
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Title: Crosscourt
Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd
Warnings:Head injury / concussion, disorientation / confusion, non-consensual or ambiguous sexual situations (due to memory loss), psychological tension and manipulation, power imbalance and control dynamics, intense emotional and sexual obsession, body autonomy questions, identity and reality confusion, mature and explicit sexual content (18+), themes of vulnerability and trust violations.
Summary:Azzi has spent her life obsessed with beating Paige—her greatest rival. But after a brutal practice injury, she wakes up in a strange bed with Paige, tangled in sheets and acting like they’re a couple. Disoriented and terrified, Azzi must face a world where rivalry and intimacy collide, and nothing is as it seems.
Notes: idk if imma continue this but pls interact tho <3
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Azzi Fudd was not built for second place.
She didn’t just want greatness—she was raised in it. Trained for it. Groomed for it. Since she was a child, people whispered her name like it meant something. A promise. A prophecy. A future No. 1 pick.
And she delivered.
Every damn time.
Gatorade Player of the Year. National Champion in high school. Signed to Steph Curry’s brand, handpicked as its first-ever female athlete. She was everywhere—Nike commercials, Team USA camps, college highlight reels.
But none of it mattered unless she beat Paige Bueckers.
Paige: UConn’s golden girl. The white-blonde legacy player who made no-look passes look like ballet. She’d been crowned before she even stepped onto a college court. She didn’t just play basketball—she owned it.
And the world loved her for it.
Azzi didn’t.
To her, Paige was a mirror she wanted to shatter. Every move Paige made, Azzi studied. Not to admire—but to surpass. She didn’t want to be her. She wanted to erase her.
They’d played together once—Team USA—back when things were simpler. But even then, the tension was there.
Now? Paige was UConn.
Azzi was UCLA.
Coasts apart, philosophies apart, but always circling each other like gravity didn’t know who to pull harder.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
And yet, Paige wasn’t the only name in the game.
Caitlin Clark was rewriting shooting records every other week at Iowa. A flamethrower in sneakers.
Lauren Betts—Stanford transfer, towering presence, soft-spoken killer in the paint.
JuJu Watkins, the USC phenom, making defenders look like cones.
Hailey Van Lith, mean with the handle and sharper with her words.
Women’s basketball had leveled up. It was a golden era.
But Azzi didn’t care.
Her eyes stayed on Paige.
Not because Paige was better. She wasn’t. Not anymore.
But because Paige represented something Azzi hadn’t beaten yet.
She hated that.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Practice that day at UCLA was suffocating in the best way.
August heat seeped through the gym walls like sweat. The team was in full grind mode—sprints, drills, scrimmages, weight sessions. Coaches barked, and no one dared slack.
Azzi was locked in.
Tightly wound.
Every cut was sharp.
Every pass exact.
Every jumper was net.
She didn’t laugh with teammates. She didn’t flirt with the trainers or crack jokes during water breaks. That wasn’t her style. Paige could be soft. Azzi couldn’t afford to be.
“You ever relax, Fudd?” one of the freshmen joked as they ran drills.
Azzi didn’t answer. She didn’t even smile.
She just wiped her face, reset her feet behind the arc, and let the next shot fly.
Swish.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
They were running the same offensive set for the sixth time when it happened.
Azzi called for the screen, cut right, turned—
—and didn’t see the pass coming.
The ball slammed directly into the side of her head.
A sharp, blunt crack of leather on skull.
Her legs buckled. The court tilted.
She hit the floor with a dull, final thud.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧
There was shouting. She heard it underwater.
She tried to open her eyes. Couldn’t.
Someone touched her shoulder.
“Azzi?”
Was that Coach?
Her heart raced. Her limbs went cold.
The lights above her swirled into streaks. Then—nothing.
Black.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Azzi came back to consciousness slow and painful, like surfacing through cement.
Her head pounded. Every nerve felt raw. She winced, squeezing her eyes shut tighter before forcing them open.
She was lying in a bed. Not hers.
The sheets were soft. Clean. Smelled like fabric softener and sweat.
And there was an arm slung heavily over her waist.
A voice, raspy with sleep, mumbled at her neck.
“Mmm… Az… too early…”
Azzi froze.
Slowly, her gaze darted sideways.
Blonde hair spilled across the pillow in messy tangles. Blue eyes blinked open blearily.
Paige Bueckers.
Azzi’s heart jackhammered.
What the fuck.
Paige was naked.
And so was she.
Azzi yanked the covers just enough to confirm it—and felt nausea roll through her when she saw the state of them. Her skin was covered in faint purple-red marks—Paige’s mouth had been there. Paige’s shoulder and collarbone were bitten.
Her pulse went sickeningly loud in her ears.
Paige, meanwhile, just grinned sleepily. “You okay? You hit your head so bad yesterday at practice. You don’t usually pass out after, but I guess you earned it…”
Azzi tried to speak, but nothing came out.
Paige’s fingers traced circles over her stomach like it was normal.
Like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Azzi felt like she was going to throw up.
She shoved Paige’s arm away and sat bolt upright. Paige blinked, confusion dawning.
“Azzi?”
Azzi scrambled off the bed, her legs tangling in the sheet, almost falling.
“Azzi, wait—baby—”
But she was already grabbing the first clothes she could find off the floor. Loose UConn sweats that weren’t hers, a black practice tee with a Husky logo. She didn’t even care. She just needed space.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
She stumbled out of the bedroom barefoot and into a cramped living room.
There were posters of UConn championships on the walls. A cheap gray couch. A half-eaten pizza on the coffee table next to scattered textbooks and a whiteboard scrawled with practice times and plays.
Two people were sitting on the floor laughing over a game controller.
Caroline Ducharme and KK Arnold.
Caroline saw Azzi first. Her mouth split in a teasing grin.
“Well look who’s finally awake. Thought you two were gonna sleep all day after last night.”
KK cackled. “Yeah, for real, the way y’all were screaming had me wanting earplugs.”
Azzi stared. Words didn’t work.
Caroline tilted her head, hair falling into her face. “You good, Z? You look like you saw a ghost.”
Azzi’s lips parted, then snapped shut.
She forced a swallow.
“Yeah,” she managed hoarsely. “Yeah, I’m…fine.”
She wasn’t fine.
She was so far from fine she couldn’t even see it on the horizon.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Caroline snorted, leaning back on her hands. “Paige still in bed?”
Azzi didn’t answer.
KK grinned. “Better get back in there before she notices you’re gone. You know how she gets.”
Azzi blinked at them.
KK kept going, oblivious. “Remember the first day you showed up? I asked Paige who the hell you were and she goes ‘oh that’s my sister.’ Cause all she do is lie.”
Caroline laughed. “God, she was so obvious. She was so in love with you it was pathetic. What’s it been, what, two years? Three?”
Azzi’s throat worked. “How long…”
They both stopped laughing.
KK blinked. “What?”
Azzi’s voice shook. “How long have I been at UConn?”
Caroline and KK exchanged a weird glance.
KK shrugged slowly. “Since…day one? I mean…you committed next year Paige did. You guys were the package deal. Everybody knew that.”
Azzi’s stomach dropped to her feet.
She managed another question, voice strangled. “And…me and Paige…how long…like this?”
KK laughed again, though softer now, a bit confused. “Bro. Since day one, really. I remember—she literally told the whole team you were her ‘sister’ at first, but like, no one believed that shit. She was obsessed. Still is.”
Caroline snickered. “Yeah, seriously. Maybe go back to bed before P gets up and crashes out that you’re not there. You know how crazy she gets over you.”
Azzi felt cold all over.
She swallowed. Hard.
“Yeah. No. I’m…good.”
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
She turned on shaky legs and went back to the bedroom. Paige was sitting up now, eyes red like she’d been crying, shirt tugged over her head.
“Azzi, please,” Paige whispered. “Talk to me. You’re scaring me.”
Azzi ignored her. She grabbed her laptop from the cluttered desk in the corner. Paige’s eyes followed her the whole time.
She left without another word.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
She ended up in a quiet corner of the student lounge. It was late enough that no one was around. Her hands shook as she opened the laptop, biting her lip so hard it hurt.
She typed in her own name.
Azzi Fudd UConn.
Google exploded with results.
Her UConn stats. Her recruitment story. Her comeback story.
Photos of her in the navy and white jersey, standing next to Paige, laughing.
Instagram posts of them at practice, at parties, leaning into each other.
The worst were the edits.
“PAZZI 💙🏀”
Video clips of them hugging after wins. Holding hands on the bench. Paige tucking hair behind Azzi’s ear.
But there was no official confirmation.
Every interview dodged the question.
Paige would smirk and say “We’re close.”
Azzi would laugh it off.
But the internet didn’t care. It believed.
She scrolled until her eyes blurred.
Photos. Memes. Headlines:
“Azzi Fudd and Paige Bueckers: The Dynamic Duo UConn Needed”
“PAZZI: Inside UConn’s Best-Kept Secret”
Azzi clicked a video.
Paige’s voice played, soft and quiet in an interview.
“Azzi’s…she’s everything to me. On and off the court.”
Azzi slammed the laptop shut so hard it rattled the table.
She didn’t know where she was.
But it wasn’t home.
And it sure as hell wasn’t her life.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Azzi sat there for a full minute, palms pressed to the closed laptop. Her heart was pounding so hard she felt it in her ears.
Outside, campus was quiet. Blue dusk light poured in through the windows. She could see the UConn practice facility lights in the distance, glowing like an accusation.
Her phone buzzed against the table.
Once.
Twice.
Again.
She flinched.
It was Paige.
📱 Messages
11:54 PM
paige💗
paige💗 baby please talk to me
paige💗 please
paige💗 you’re scaring me
paige💗 where did you go
paige💗 answer me
paige💗 azzi
The screen lit up over and over.
She wanted to throw the thing against the wall.
Instead she just locked it, pressing it so hard in her hand her knuckles went white.
Two seconds of silence.
Then it started again.
📱 Messages
11:54 PM
paige💗
paige💗 please just tell me where you are
paige💗 i’ll come get you
paige💗 i’m sorry if i did something
paige💗 please i love you
Azzi swallowed bile.
Then Caroline chimed in.
📱 Messages
11:57PM
caroline✂️
caroline ✂️hey z you good?
caroline ✂️p is spiraling
📱 Messages
12:00 PM
KK
kk: yo answer ur girl
kk: she bout to have a meltdown
Her hand shook. She let the phone drop to the table with a dull clack.
She wanted to scream.
To disappear.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
She forced herself to reopen the laptop.
Google. Again.
She clicked on articles. Watched interview clips with a weird dissociated horror.
Paige had called her “the other half of my heart.”
Azzi had…smiled.
But it wasn’t her. Not this her.
She scrubbed a hand over her face.
Then the phone lit up again, this time with a new kind of dread.
PAIGE IS SHARING YOUR LOCATION
Her chest went cold.
She stared at it.
She knows where I am.
A second later—
📱 Messages
11:57PM
Paige 💗: I know you’re at the lounge. Please just let me come.
Azzi felt the world tilt.
No.
No no no.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
She heard footsteps in the hall before she saw her.
Paige burst through the door, face blotchy with crying, hair a mess. She looked wrecked.
“Azzi!”
Azzi jumped to her feet so hard the chair fell over.
“Get out.”
Paige froze, lip trembling. “Azzi please—”
“Get. OUT.”
Paige shook her head, tears spilling. “I can’t. I can’t leave you like this. I don’t know what’s going on, you’re acting like you don’t even know me—”
“I don’t know you,” Azzi hissed, voice cracking.
Paige blinked. Like she’d been slapped.
Azzi’s voice dropped, ragged and low.
“You’re tracking me? You know where I am at all times?”
Paige’s mouth opened, shut.
“It’s—it’s not like that. You shared it with me, Azzi. You said you wanted me to always know you were safe—”
Azzi felt like she might vomit.
Paige took a step closer, hand out. “Please. Just come home. We’ll figure it out together. Please, Azzi, I love you so much—”
“Don’t,” Azzi choked. “Don’t say that to me.”
Paige’s shoulders crumpled.
Azzi’s vision swam. She felt herself shaking all over.
“Just…leave. Please.”
Paige’s face collapsed in grief. But she listened. She turned and stumbled out, muffling sobs with her sleeve.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Azzi stood there, chest heaving.
Silence filled the room like water drowning her.
Her phone buzzed again.
📱 Messages
1:35PM
KK : yo p is losing it u gotta answer
📱 Messages
1:37PM
Caroline✂️: seriously z just talk to her she’s literally crying in the hallway
Azzi powered the phone off completely.
She sat back down.
She forced herself to open the laptop one more time.
She typed:
Azzi Fudd UConn Paige Bueckers relationship
Thousands of results.
Fan-cam edits labeled “PAZZI” in sparkly fonts.
Tumblr meta posts dissecting every glance.
Clips of them hugging. Slow-dancing at team events.
Articles calling them “the heart of UConn basketball.”
But no confirmations.
No statement.
Just rumors that felt too intimate to be fake.
She scrolled until her eyes burned.
Azzi closed the laptop with shaking hands.
She didn’t know who she was here.
But she was starting to know who Paige was.
And that terrified her most of all.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Azzi’s mind was unraveling.
It wasn’t just Paige. It was everything.
She’d woken up naked in a bed that wasn’t hers.
She was living a life she didn’t remember.
She had bruises on her skin that shouldn’t be there.
Now…
She wasn’t even sure if her family was real.
The thought struck her like a cold slap.
Her parents—her childhood memories—her brothers—were they just in her head?
Were they hers at all?
Her chest tightened, breath hitching.
Her hands trembled as she pulled out her phone.
She dialed her mom.
“Mom?”
Her voice cracked on the first syllable.
Katie Fudd’s warm voice came through, “Azzi! Honey, what’s wrong?”
Azzi’s throat closed. The dam broke.
“I… I don’t know what’s happening.”
Her voice was ragged, the years of pressure, doubt, and confusion bubbling over.
“I woke up at UConn… with Paige. And it’s like I don’t even know what’s real anymore. I’m scared, Mom. What if my family isn’t even my family here? What if none of this is real?”
There was silence on the other end. Then Katie said softly, “Baby, what are you talking about?”
Azzi’s fingers dug into the phone as she forced herself to explain.
“How did I end up here? How did Paige and I go from rivals to… this? When did I decide to come to UConn? I don’t remember any of it.”
“I don’t understand it either,” Azzi sobbed. “We met during the USA team, right? But then we became… inseparable? And everyone acts like it’s always been like that.”
Katie’s voice was gentle but firm.
“Azzi, that’s true. You and Paige met on the USA team. You clicked immediately—both fiercely competitive but somehow… it just worked. You decided to commit to UConn after high school, a joint package deal really, and you two became the heart of the team.”
Azzi’s mind raced.
“But Mom… I don’t feel like myself. I feel lost.”
Katie sighed, steady and unwavering.
“Baby, this is your senior year. You’re still the Azzi I know—the player who’s worked so hard, who’s earned every accolade. You need to calm down. Focus. You’ve got the draft coming. You need to keep your head in the game.”
Azzi nodded, tears streaming down her face.
“Okay, Mom. I’m trying.”
Katie smiled through the phone.
“I know you are. And I believe in you.”
Azzi took a shaky breath and wiped her eyes.
For a moment, the chaos inside her still raged.
But her mom’s voice—her reality—was the one solid thing she could hold onto.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Azzi sat there for what felt like hours.
The dorm common room was silent except for the hum of the fridge.
Her phone had finally gone quiet.
She’d powered it off.
But the last thing she saw before the screen went black was Paige’s message:
i love you too much
Azzi wiped her face with both hands, smearing the dried tears.
Her mind was a tangle of panic, rage, grief, and something she didn’t even want to name.
Because the worst part was—
It felt real.
Those photos.
Those videos.
The way Paige had looked at her, utterly wrecked, refusing to leave.
Azzi pressed her palms to her eyes until she saw sparks.
She had always been good at studying tape.
Finding patterns.
Building a plan.
She had to do that now.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
You’re Azzi Fudd.
Senior year.
Projected top pick.
Steph Curry brand athlete.
USA Basketball.
UConn’s golden girl.
She wasn’t going to let this be the reason she fell apart.
She had too much at stake.
She forced herself to her feet.
Her knees ached.
Her head pounded.
She felt like she hadn’t slept in days even though it had only been hours.
She walked to the mirror by the door.
She barely recognized the girl staring back.
Eyes red.
Hair a mess.
Marks on her neck that weren’t hers, but apparently were.
She sucked in a breath.
You can’t let them see you break.
Not Paige.
Not the team.
Not the scouts.
Not anyone.
So she decided.
She’d play the role.
Paige’s devoted girlfriend.
The other half of UConn’s unstoppable duo.
The smiling, grateful star.
She’d buy herself time.
Time to figure out how she got here.
Time to decide if she even wanted to stay.
But for now?
She needed everyone to think everything was fine.
She practiced the smile once.
It looked wrong.
She tried again.
it looked… good enough, she grabbed her bag.
She picked up her phone and turned it back on.
Instantly:
28 new messages.
She didn’t read them all.
Just one.
📱 Messages
4:56PM
Paige💗: i’m at our room. please come home. please. i’ll do anything.
Azzi’s chest twisted.
She inhaled.
Exhaled.
She typed slowly, deliberately.
AZZI: omw
She let the phone drop in her pocket.
Squared her shoulders.
She didn’t know this Azzi Fudd.
This UConn version.
This Paige’s girlfriend version.
But she was about to be her.
At least until she could figure out how the hell to get out.
Or if she even wanted to.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Azzi didn’t even remember walking across campus.
She just remembered the sound of her own heart in her ears.
You’re Paige’s girlfriend.
You’re UConn’s star.
Act like it.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
She reached the door to their dorm.
Her fingers shook on the handle.
She forced herself to pause, take one breath.
Then she pushed it open.
The first thing she heard was Paige crying.
Ugly, chest-wracking sobs that made Azzi’s heart drop into her stomach.
Paige was curled up on the couch, face buried in Caroline’s shoulder, hands fisted in the front of Caroline’s hoodie like a kid.
Caroline was rocking her slightly, whispering something.
KK was standing near them, arms crossed, jaw tight.
All three of them whipped around when the door clicked shut behind Azzi.
Paige lifted her head.
Her eyes were red, cheeks blotchy, hair a tangled mess.
She looked at Azzi like a drowning person spotting a lifeboat.
“Azzi—”
Her voice cracked.
She made to get up, but Caroline kept a gentle hand on her shoulder, shushing her softly.
。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆
KK’s eyes narrowed.
She took one step toward Azzi.
“The fuck is going on?”
Azzi swallowed.
Her tongue felt like lead in her mouth.
“I—”
Her eyes flicked to Paige.
Paige was shaking all over, mouth opening and closing like she didn’t even know what to say.
“Azzi, please,” Paige rasped. “Please don’t leave again. Please just talk to me.”
Azzi’s heart twisted painfully.
She fought to keep her voice even.
“I’m here.”
KK’s arms flew up.
“You’re here now? After ghosting her all day? After scaring the shit out of everyone? What the hell was that?!”
Azzi’s fingers dug into the strap of her bag.
She forced her face to stay calm.
“I just… needed to clear my head.”
KK scoffed.
“Clear your head? She was literally screaming your name ten minutes ago. She can’t breathe without you, bro. You can’t just dip like that.”
Caroline shot KK a sharp look.
“KK. Enough.”
Then she looked at Azzi, eyes softer but no less searching.
“Z… are you okay?”
Azzi’s throat tightened.
She tried for a smile. It felt brittle.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
Caroline didn’t look convinced.
Paige looked straight at her.
“You’re… you’re not gonna leave again, right?”
Azzi’s breath hitched.
She forced herself to step forward.
She dropped her bag on the floor.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Paige made a strangled sound and surged forward, practically falling off the couch to wrap her arms around Azzi’s waist.
Azzi stiffened for a second.
Then remembered her plan.
Act normal.
Be her girlfriend.
She let out a slow breath and let her arms come up around Paige’s shoulders.
Paige sobbed into her chest.
“I’m sorry,” Paige gasped. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t know what I did wrong. Please don’t leave me. Please.”
Azzi swallowed.
She felt Caroline watching.
Felt KK glaring.
Felt Paige clutching her like a lifeline.
She smoothed a shaking hand over Paige’s hair.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I’m here. I’m not leaving.”
。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆
KK made a frustrated noise and stomped into the kitchen, muttering under her breath.
Caroline slowly stood, giving them space, eyes still fixed on Azzi with wary concern.
Paige just clung tighter.
Azzi kept petting her hair like she was trying to soothe a child.
Her eyes drifted shut.
She tried not to cry.
She had to figure this out.
But for now…
She had to pretend.
。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆
The dorm fell quiet.
KK slammed a cabinet door in the kitchen so hard it rattled the walls.
Caroline gave Azzi one last searching look.
She opened her mouth—like she wanted to say something—but closed it with a sigh and squeezed Paige’s shoulder instead.
Then she headed for the door.
“Text me if you need anything,” she murmured, eyes still flicking to Azzi with a clear warning.
Azzi nodded stiffly.
The door shut.
It was just the two of them.
Paige didn’t let go right away.
She was still pressed against Azzi, face buried in her chest, arms tight enough to bruise.
Azzi’s muscles ached.
She felt like she was being crushed.
She kept stroking Paige’s hair anyway.
Because that’s what she was supposed to do.
Finally Paige pulled back just enough to look at her.
Her eyes were so red. So swollen.
Tear tracks dried and cracked on her cheeks.
“Please talk to me,” she whispered.
Azzi swallowed.
Her mouth was dry as sand.
“I’m here.”
Paige flinched like it hurt.
“Yeah, but where were you? Azzi you just… left. You didn’t even answer me. You blocked me. I didn’t know if you were okay or if you—”
Her voice broke.
She dropped her forehead onto Azzi’s collarbone and sobbed again.
⋆ ୨୧˚
Azzi’s own eyes burned.
She forced them shut.
Say something.
“I just… needed to clear my head,” she said softly.
Paige shook her head hard against her.
“That’s not enough. That’s not you. Talk to me. Please. Tell me what’s going on.”
Azzi’s heart twisted.
She knew she should tell her the truth.
But the truth would ruin everything.
⋆ ˚。⋆
She swallowed hard.
“It’s just stress,” she whispered.
Paige froze.
“Stress?”
Azzi tried to keep her voice steady.
“Yeah. Senior year. The draft. Expectations. Everyone’s watching me. I just… broke a little.”
She forced a dry laugh.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Paige pulled back fully, staring at her with wet, wide eyes.
Azzi tried to hold her gaze.
Paige’s lip trembled.
“Don’t do that to me,” she choked. “Don’t ever shut me out like that again. I thought I lost you.”
Azzi’s throat closed.
“I won’t,” she lied.
Paige’s face crumpled.
She surged forward and kissed her.
Azzi went stiff for a split second—then forced herself to respond.
Her mouth moved mechanically, trying to match Paige’s desperate energy.
She told herself over and over:
This is what she wants. This is what they expect. This is what you have to do.
When Paige finally pulled back, she was panting.
Her forehead pressed to Azzi’s.
“I love you so much,” she whispered.
Azzi’s stomach twisted so hard she thought she might puke.
She forced the words out.
“I love you too.”
Paige let out a wet laugh.
“You promise you’re not leaving?”
Azzi wiped her thumb under Paige’s eye.
“Promise.”
Paige let out a shaking breath.
“Good. Because I can’t do this without you.”
Azzi swallowed the lump in her throat.
She didn’t say anything.
She just kissed Paige’s temple.
Inside, she felt like she was dying.
But outside?
She was perfect.
UConn’s golden girl.
Paige’s perfect girlfriend.
The other half of college basketball’s favorite couple.
For now.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
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Note
Daniel Ricciardo and Max Verstappen with Christian’s daughter or Helmut’s Granddaughter. A fuck you to Red Bull literally
No one has to know||Max Verstappen x Daniel Ricciardo x Reader (Y/N Marko)
Warnings: Explicit sexual content: M/F, M/M, M/M/F threesome, Double penetration Power dynamics / mild Dom/Sub themes Light choking / breath play Oral sex (receiving & giving, M & F) Marking Possessive behavior Secret relationship Mentions of family tension (Helmut Marko) Discussion of retirement and identity crisis (Daniel) Emotional vulnerability / aftercare
Word count—2434
A/n — this has been sitting in my inbox since the 21st of December I’ve finally finished it 😭😭😭
The low hum of the city below was muffled by the thick glass of Max’s penthouse windows. The Monaco skyline glittered, casting a soft glow over the living room, where a half-finished bottle of wine rested on the table, and laughter still lingered in the air.
Y/N sat curled between Max and Daniel on the plush sectional sofa, her legs draped over Daniel’s lap while Max’s fingers lazily trailed along her thigh. There was something about nights like this stolen, quiet, hidden in the dark that made everything burn hotter.
“You’re not going to be able to keep this quiet forever,” Daniel murmured, his voice low and full of heat, but teasing.
Y/N smirked, her head tilting back onto Max’s shoulder. “Helmut doesn’t exactly follow gossip blogs.”
“Still…” Max’s hand slid further up her leg, under the hem of her oversized Red Bull tee his, of course until his fingers brushed the edge of lace. “You do like testing fate.”
“Maybe I just like testing you.”
Max’s gaze snapped down to her, and something flickered behind his eyes dark, hungry. Daniel’s fingers tightened on her calf at the same time, his grin widening.
“Oh, you’ve definitely got a death wish,” Daniel said, leaning in, his lips ghosting over the shell of her ear. “Max gets possessive when you talk like that.”
Max didn’t deny it. He just kissed her slow and deep, while his hand slipped between her legs, pressing the heat of his palm against the soaked lace. Y/N gasped into his mouth, only for the sound to be swallowed by Daniel’s lips replacing his, a seamless shift that made her dizzy.
The taste of wine, Max, and Daniel all tangled on her tongue as Max kissed his way down her neck, pushing the shirt up and over her head. His mouth found her chest while Daniel’s hand slid behind her neck, keeping her gaze on him, on the glint in his eye as he dipped down and captured her lips again.
“You’re so good like this,” Daniel whispered, kissing down her jaw. “All soft. All ours.”
Max hummed against her skin in agreement. “She likes when we take our time.”
“But you don’t always,” Daniel muttered, and there was a look something electric between them. A smirk from Daniel. A sharp flash in Max’s eyes.
Y/N felt the shift in the air before it happened.
Max pulled back and looked at Daniel. “You gonna keep teasing or are you going to show her how good you taste?”
Daniel raised a brow but didn’t hesitate. He leaned over, crashing his mouth against Max’s in a kiss that was anything but gentle. Y/N’s breath hitched as she watched, heat coiling low in her belly. There was tongue and teeth, fingers curling into fabric, and tension that had clearly been simmering between the two of them far longer than they admitted.
Max pulled back, just enough to speak his voice low and dark. “Watch closely, lieverd. We want you squirming.”
Y/N didn’t think she could not watch, not when Daniel’s hand slid over Max’s thigh, fingers tracing the outline of his hard cock through his jeans. Max hissed, tilting his head back, and Daniel took advantage mouth on his throat, sucking, biting lightly, just to make him groan.
It was almost too much.
Almost.
And then Max was tugging Daniel back by the collar, dragging him into another filthy kiss, before glancing back at Y/N his voice like velvet and smoke.
“Your turn,” he said, eyes burning. “On your knees.”
She slid off the couch without a word, heart pounding and thighs clenched. The silk of the rug met her bare knees as she knelt before them, already stripped down to nothing but her panties. Max stayed seated, legs spread wide, the golden city light haloing his figure while Daniel lounged beside him, flushed and smirking.
“God, you look good like that,” Daniel murmured, brushing her hair off her face, fingers lingering at her jaw.
“She always does,” Max said, voice low. He let his hand drift lazily over her chest, thumb brushing her nipple. “But tonight, I think you want to be used, hm?”
Y/N’s breath caught. She looked between them Daniel’s teasing warmth, Max’s simmering intensity and nodded.
Max’s lips quirked. “Words.”
“Yes. I want it.”
Max shifted forward, his fingers curling under her chin, tilting her face up to meet his eyes. “Who do you belong to, Y/N?”
Her lips parted, heat pooling in her stomach. “You. Both of you.”
“Good girl,” Max whispered.
Daniel chuckled. “I think she’s being too good. Makes me want to ruin her a little.”
Y/N let out a shaky breath, thighs pressing together instinctively. Max’s eyes darkened as he watched.
“Take your panties off,” Max commanded.
She obeyed slowly, letting the lace glide down her legs, adding to the tension until she was completely bare before them.
Daniel leaned forward, palming himself through his jeans. “Fuck, look at her. Dripping and we haven’t even touched her properly yet.”
Max stood, towering over her, then gave Daniel a look. “You want to make her beg first, or should I?”
Daniel grinned, then leaned close to whisper in her ear. “You decide, baby. Want Max’s fingers or my mouth first?”
Y/N’s voice trembled. “Daniel. Your mouth.”
That grin turned wicked.
She barely had time to steady herself before Daniel had her flat on her back, dragging her closer by the hips. His mouth was on her immediately hot, slow, and maddening. His tongue traced over her folds, teasing, never giving her quite enough, while Max knelt behind her head, pulling her up against his thighs.
“You can be loud,” Max said, stroking her hair. “We’re high up. No one will hear you scream.”
And she nearly did when Daniel sucked her clit into his mouth, one hand gripping her thigh, the other teasing at her entrance. His tongue worked her like he’d memorized every spot that made her tremble. She gasped, eyes fluttering open only to find Max unzipping his pants.
“You’re not getting off yet,” Max murmured. “But you are going to be useful.”
He guided himself to her mouth, dragging the tip of his cock along her lips. “Open.”
She obeyed instantly, tasting the salt of his skin, the weight of him heavy on her tongue. Max groaned low in his throat, threading his fingers in her hair as he rocked into her mouth.
Below, Daniel slipped two fingers into her, curling them just right, mouth still latched to her clit. The combination was overwhelming. Max’s cock filling her mouth, Daniel’s fingers stroking her inside, tongue relentless it was too much. She moaned around Max, eyes squeezing shut, thighs shaking as her orgasm slammed into her.
Max pulled out with a hiss just as her cry was muffled against his thigh. “Fuck, she’s perfect like this.”
Daniel pulled back, his lips and chin glistening, pupils blown wide. “Let me have her,” he said, voice thick with want.
Max’s smirk was dark. “Not yet.”
Then he turned to Y/N. “Your turn.”
She blinked up at him, breath still shaky. “M-My turn?”
Max leaned in, eyes glinting. “Make him lose control. You know how.”
Daniel chuckled, letting himself fall back onto the couch again, arms wide. “You heard the man.”
The shift was electric. One second she was their plaything, the next she was crawling toward Daniel with hunger in her eyes. She straddled him, grinding down on the bulge in his jeans as her fingers worked to undo his zipper.
Daniel’s hands gripped her hips tightly. “Fuck, baby, you’re soaked.”
“Your fault,” she whispered, before sliding down and taking him into her mouth.
Max stayed standing, watching like a king admiring his empire stroking himself slowly as Y/N hollowed her cheeks, bobbing her head in Daniel’s lap, tongue working him just right. Daniel groaned, head falling back.
“Shit—she’s better every time.”
Y/N didn’t stop, not even when Max circled behind her and bent down, hand spreading her open from behind. She gasped around Daniel when Max pressed two fingers back into her.
“Can you take both of us tonight?” Max murmured against her back, breath hot. “One in your mouth, one in your pussy. Then we’ll see if you’re good enough to ride us both.”
Daniel let out a choked laugh. “Now that’s what I call teamwork.”
Y/N moaned her answer, overwhelmed and blissed out.
Y/N was glowing flushed, slick, lips swollen from sucking Daniel off, and back arched from Max’s fingers still inside her. But the shift was already happening. The second Max pulled back to watch her work Daniel’s cock, she sat up on her knees, dragging her fingers down Daniel’s chest and staring Max dead in the eye.
“My turn.”
Daniel chuckled breathlessly. “Oh, she’s dangerous when she gets like this.”
Max didn’t move. He just raised a brow, intrigued.
Y/N rose, slow and confident, and straddled Max’s lap. She took his cock in her hand, dragged the head through her folds, and sank down with a breathy moan ompletely in control.
Max let out a growl, hands gripping her hips, head falling back as she rocked into him. “Fucking—Y/N.”
“You said you wanted to watch me take him, right?” she whispered, leaning forward, biting his earlobe. “But now I want you both.”
From the couch, Daniel sat up, eyes dark, hungry. “Shit. I think I’m in love.”
She turned her head, meeting Daniel’s gaze as she rode Max slowly, teasingly. “Then come prove it.”
It didn’t take long. Daniel was behind her in seconds, kissing down her spine, hands rough and possessive as he spread her open. Max was fully sheathed inside her, and the idea of both of them filling her, owning her sent a fresh wave of heat spiraling through her.
“Ready?” Daniel murmured against her neck.
She nodded, voice trembling but sure. “I want it. I want both of you.”
Max’s grip tightened, his voice a low warning. “Tell us if it’s too much.”
But she just smirked, eyes wicked. “You can’t break me.”
The stretch was slow Daniel taking his time, his cock pressing in alongside Max’s and she gasped, pleasure sharp and overwhelming. Max was already shaking under her, jaw clenched. Daniel groaned behind her, resting his forehead against her shoulder.
“Fuck, baby. You’re unreal.”
She whimpered, body twitching, caught in the fullness, the way they moved together each thrust measured, building up until she couldn’t tell whose moan was whose. Hands everywhere Daniel on her breasts, Max on her throat, her thighs trembling from being stretched to her limit.
Then something shifted again.
Max grabbed her jaw and kissed her hard, dominating her mouth while Daniel reached around and circled her clit, rubbing in slow, torturous circles.
“You thought you were in control,” Max whispered darkly. “That was cute.”
Daniel bit down on her shoulder, a soft growl. “But now it’s our turn.”
And then they took her.
Thrusts quickened, their rhythm brutal and perfect, each stroke dragging fire through her veins. She was sobbing with pleasure, body barely holding up, nails digging into Max’s shoulders as her second orgasm crashed through her louder, rawer, leaving her boneless.
But they didn’t stop.
Max was the first to fall apart, his hips stuttering as he spilled inside her with a deep, broken groan. Daniel followed moments later, pulling her back against him as he came, biting down on her shoulder to muffle the noise.
All of them stilled.
Breathing ragged. Sweat-slicked. Bodies shaking.
Y/N let out a dazed laugh as she collapsed between them, chest rising and falling rapidly.
“I can’t believe I have to face Helmut at family dinner tomorrow.”
Daniel chuckled against her neck. “If he finds out what we did to his granddaughter, I’m a dead man.”
Max’s arm curled around her waist. “Then we better make tonight worth it.”
The bedroom was quiet now, wrapped in a blanket of gold light and cooling skin. Y/N lay nestled between them, Max’s arm draped over her waist, Daniel close on her other side, one leg tangled with hers like he had no plans of letting go.
For a long time, no one spoke.
Daniel was the first to break the silence, voice low and scratchy. “I missed this.”
Y/N turned her head slightly, eyes fluttering open. “What—sex?”
He gave a soft, lazy laugh. “Well, yeah. But… more than that. I missed this. Being in the middle of something that makes me feel alive.”
Max’s hand rubbed slow circles into Y/N’s side. “You are in the middle of something. Right here.”
“I know.” Daniel paused, then shrugged a little. “It’s just weird sometimes. Not being part of the circus anymore. Watching from the outside. I thought I’d feel lighter after retiring but there’s this itch under my skin. Like I left a piece of myself out there on the track.”
Y/N reached for his hand without thinking, lacing her fingers with his. “You didn’t leave anything behind, Dan. You gave all of it. And we—” she glanced between them, “we still want you. Need you.”
Max nodded, chin resting on her shoulder. “You’re still you. Still the annoying, loud-mouthed, overly affectionate pain in the ass we love.”
Daniel snorted, but his smile was softer now. “Careful, Verstappen. Sounds like you’re getting sentimental.”
“Must be the post-orgasm haze.”
Y/N rolled her eyes with a laugh and squeezed Daniel’s hand tighter. “You’re still part of this world. Even if you’re not behind the wheel anymore. You’re still ours.”
The way Daniel looked at her then like she’d just peeled away the last layer of doubt made her chest ache.
He leaned in, pressed a kiss to her temple, then shifted to rest his head against her collarbone. “If Helmut ever finds out I’m sleeping with his granddaughter, he’s gonna take a tire iron to my knees.”
Max didn’t miss a beat. “You’re retired anyway. He’d be doing the grid a favor.”
“Rude,” Daniel mumbled into Y/N’s skin, but he was smiling again. “Maybe I should’ve picked a safer post-career hobby. Like beekeeping.”
Y/N giggled. “You’d flirt with the bees.”
“Flirt with anything that buzzes,” Max added, smirking.
They dissolved into quiet laughter, their limbs tangled, heat still radiating between them but softer now, slower. Y/N let her eyes drift shut, the weight of their bodies anchoring her, the warmth of their affection so thick she could sink into it.
And just before sleep started to claim her, she heard Daniel whisper—
“I don’t know what this is, but I don’t want to lose it.”
Max’s hand tightened on her waist. “You won’t.”
#f1 smut#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#formula one x you#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#formula one x reader#f1 imagine#formula one x y/n#f1 one shot#max verstappen smut#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen#max verstsppen x Daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo x max verstappen#daniel ricciardo smut#daniel ricciardo x you
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Darakaraka in Navamsha - the spouse, marital karma, and the quality of our relationship with the spouse
In one of my earlier posts, I was asked to explore the Darakaraka (DK) - the planet that signifies the official spouse in Vedic astrology, specifically within the Navamsha chart (D9). Let’s take a deeper dive into this important topic.
The Navamsha chart is the divisional chart of marriage, commitment, and soul-level partnerships. It's in the Navamsha that we truly understand the quality of marriage, the nature of the spouse, and the karmic lessons involved.
The Darakaraka is the planet with the lowest degree in your birth chart (excluding Rahu and Ketu). But why is it the planet with the lowest degree? Because symbolically, the Darakaraka represents what we lack but deeply desire in a partner. It reflects the traits we have not fully developed within ourselves, and so we are drawn to someone who embodies them. It is through the DK that we seek balance, completion, and growth in relationships. In contrast, the Atmakaraka (planet with the highest degree) shows traits we have mastered and already carry within us- it represents the soul’s core identity.
How to Interpret Darakaraka in the Navamsha
Identify the DK in your Rasi (D1) chart
Locate where this DK is placed in the Navamsha (D9)
Each house in the Navamsha chart (D9) offers a different perspective on your marriage experience. When the Darakaraka (DK) planet falls into specific houses, it reveals how your relationship karma unfolds.
💎Kendra Houses (1, 4, 7, 10): these are the pillars of the chart, and having the DK here often points to a strong and stable marriage foundation. Relationships are central to your growth, and the spouse may bring balance and support into your life.
🔶 Trikona Houses (1, 5, 9): these are considered highly auspicious. DK in a Trikona house indicates harmonious relationship karma accumulated in past lives, spiritual alignment, and prosperity through marriage. There’s often a natural compatibility and a sense of purpose in the union.
🔷Upachaya Houses (3, 6, 11): Upachaya means "growth over time." DK in these houses may start with some challenges or slow development, but the marriage improves with effort, maturity, and time. These placements reward patience and persistence.
♦���Dusthana Houses (6, 8, 12): these houses deal with karmic debts, suffering, transformation, and loss. When the DK falls here, it often points to unresolved karmic lessons, emotional challenges, or soul-level lessons related to marriage. It doesn't doom the relationship, but it does indicate that growth will come through overcoming obstacles, deep transformations and self-work.
Darakaraka through 12 houses of Navamsha chart
DK in the 1st House in Navamsha: Your partner plays a significant role in shaping your identity. Marriage leads to profound personal transformation and self-discovery.
2nd House: Your spouse is closely linked to finances, family traditions, and values. Stability and shared material goals are central to the relationship.
3rd House: The foundation of your marriage is built on communication, mutual support, and friendship. You may meet through siblings, neighbours, or local travels.
4th House: Emotional closeness and a sense of home are vital in the partnership. Your spouse may be nurturing, family-oriented, or deeply connected to domestic life.
5th House: A romantic and joyful connection defines the relationship. Love, creativity, and possibly children become core themes in your marital journey.
6th House: This placement suggests challenges that require effort, compromise, and healing. Conflict resolution, service (i.e, serving your spouse), or shared work may play a key role in growth.
7th House: A natural placement for partnership- marriage is a central theme in your life. The relationship is likely to be public-facing and deeply focused on togetherness.
8th House: Marriage is emotionally intense and transformative. Themes of vulnerability, trust, various extremes, and shared resources will be central and may bring deep change, including psychological.
9th House: Spiritual beliefs, culture, or higher learning (higher education) unite you and your partner. The relationship may have a long-distance or foreign connection.
10th House: Your marriage influences your public image or career trajectory, though the specific effect depends on the nature of the Darakaraka planet and the aspects it receives. The spouse may be ambitious or supportive of your professional goals, leading to visible success.
11th House: You gain significantly through marriage, whether emotionally, socially, or materially. The relationship is often grounded in friendship and shared aspirations. There might be plans and ambitions to develop something big together as a couple (initiative may come from the spouse) .
12th House: This indicates a spiritual, private, or karmic bond. The marriage may feel otherworldly or fated, and could involve solitude, sacrifice, or a foreign link.
Darakaraka through various planets in Navamsha chart
Sun as Darakaraka
Your partner is strong, authoritative, noble, or drawn to leadership. These qualities you are looking for in your life. They could come from a respectable family or hold a position of power. The relationship may challenge your ego, but it pushes you toward self-confidence, spiritual searching (Sun is the ultimate Soul Planet regardless charts) and clarity of purpose. Marriage might involve status or recognition.
Moon as Darakaraka
Your partner is likely to be nurturing, sensitive, and emotionally intelligent. There is a strong need for emotional bonding, comfort, and family life. The relationship brings emotional growth, but may also include mood fluctuations or dependency themes.
Mercury as Darakaraka
Your spouse could be intelligent, witty, communicative, or youthful in nature. Conversations are central to the relationship. You learn the value of mental connection, flexibility, and keeping things lighthearted. There may be an age difference or duality in personality.
Mars as Darakaraka
Expect a spouse who is assertive, passionate, or fiery. This is a dynamic and often intense placement. While there’s strong chemistry, conflicts or power struggles may arise. Such a marriage teaches emotional control, courage, and assertive balance.
Jupiter as Darakaraka
This is a highly auspicious placement. Your partner is often wise, highly moral, generous, and spiritually or intellectually inclined. They may be a teacher or a mentor figure (even if they do not have such a profession). The relationship teaches growth through values, knowledge sharing, wealth accumulation, and faith.
Venus as Darakaraka
A classic sign of a romantic, charming, and artistic partner. They may be attractive or have refined tastes. The marriage may be centered around love, sensuality, pleasures, and aesthetics. You learn balance, compromise, and the true essence of love. Another lesson here might be connected to fidelity and being faithful to your spouse in marriage (there might be occasional provocations)
Saturn as Darakaraka
This placement indicates a partner who is serious, disciplined, or older/mature in spirit. The relationship may be delayed or tested through time. It teaches commitment, patience, and enduring responsibility. Though challenging, it brings long-term stability when lessons are learned.
Note: Rahu as Darakaraka is used only in some traditions (!)
Rahu as Darakaraka
Rahu as DK can point to a fated or unconventional relationship -possibly with someone foreign, unusual, or deeply karmic. There's intensity, mystery, and magnetism. The partnership challenges norms and pushes you beyond your comfort zone. Growth comes through breaking patterns and facing obsessions.
Understanding the planetary nature of your Darakaraka in the Navamsha reveals the soul contract behind your marriage. It's not just about who you attract—it’s about what you're destined to learn in the current lifetime, balance, and evolve through in love.
To deepen your DK analysis, also examine:
The sign placement of DK in the D9
The ruler of the DK’s Navamsha house and its placement
The nakshatra of DK and its lord
Aspects and conjunctions to the DK in D9
The dignity and strength of DK in both D1 and D9 (If DK is weaker in D1 but stronger in D9, the relationship may improve significantly over time)
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Ruler of the 4th through the houses
So when you follow the ruler of the 4th house through the chart, you’re unlocking how and where you seek to feel at home in this life — emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.
4th House Ruler in the 1st House
Home is where you are.
Your identity is deeply tied to your family, culture, or early environment. You carry “home” with you — emotionally expressive, protective, sometimes even parental toward others. You’re your own anchor. Strong sense of self rooted in emotional truth. Core need = To feel seen and safe in your own skin. “I am my own foundation.”
4th House Ruler in the 2nd House
Security = stability.
Your emotional well-being depends on feeling financially and physically secure. You may have grown up around themes of scarcity or materialism, or learned to build your own safety net. Loyal, grounded, caretaker energy. Core need: Tangible safety — a cozy space, resources, routine. “I build a home I can count on.”
4th House Ruler in the 3rd House
Home is in the mind.
Your early environment shaped your voice, thoughts, and communication style. Siblings or relatives may play a big role in your home life. Talking, writing, or learning = comfort zone. Able to articulate emotional depth and family stories. Core need: Mental stimulation, open communication “I feel at home when I can express myself freely.”
4th House Ruler in the 4th House
Ancestral echo.
This is a pure, potent placement — you’re deeply connected to your roots, your family line, or even past lives. Home and emotional life are central to your existence. You may return to childhood places or inherit family responsibilities. Psychic memory, deep emotional wisdom, nurturer soul. Core need: Emotional grounding and belonging. “I carry the heart of my lineage.”
4th House Ruler in the 5th House
Home is creative.
You find emotional security through play, self-expression, and joy. You may want to create your own family (biological or chosen) that feels full of love and passion. Your inner child is loud and wants to be seen. Playful parent energy, expressive nurturer. Core need: Fun, romance, a home filled with love and light. “I create a home that celebrates life.”
4th House Ruler in the 6th House
Home is functional.
You need structure and purpose to feel emotionally secure. You may have had to take on responsibility early in life. Work and wellness are connected to your emotional state. Healing comes through routine. Feeling emotionally drained by caregiving or “fixing”? Healing others through nurturing structure. Core need: Order, health, and acts of service. “I make my home a place of healing and order.”
4th House Ruler in the 7th House
Home is relational.
You seek emotional safety through connection and companionship. Your family life may have involved witnessing intense or imbalanced dynamics between caregivers. You recreate balance through partnerships. Prone to projecting family dynamics onto partners. Deeply relational, romantic, peace-seeking. Core need: Emotional intimacy, harmony, and shared life. “Home is found in love and mutual understanding.”
4th House Ruler in the 8th House
Home is transformative.
You may have experienced emotional or family upheaval — intensity, secrecy, or loss may be themes. You need deep emotional bonding and sacred space to feel truly safe. Could inherit land, trauma, or psychic gifts. Can have a fear of emotional vulnerability, control patterns. Soul healer, sacred space holder, generational breaker. Core need: Deep emotional honesty and transformation. “I transform pain into sanctuary.”
4th House Ruler in the 9th House
Home is the horizon.
You may feel most at home abroad, in other cultures, or in spiritual exploration. Your early home may have been restrictive, making you seek emotional freedom through growth, learning, and travel. Escaping emotional depth through philosophy or travel. Visionary nurturer, wise soul, curious seeker. Core need: Meaning, belief, and wide-open spaces. “I build a home in every country and every idea.”
4th House Ruler in the 10th House
Home is legacy.
You may have grown up with a focus on success, image, or duty. You feel safe when you’re achieving or building something lasting. There’s often a karmic connection between family and career. Neglecting personal needs for public image or work. Powerful provider, ancestral leader. Core need: Recognition, structure, and emotional purpose. “I build a home others can look up to.”
4th House Ruler in the 11th House
Home is community.
You feel emotionally safe in friendships, groups, or collective movements. You may create your own chosen family. Your childhood may have felt “different,” and now you build inclusive, visionary homes. Emotionally detached or idealizing community over self. Utopian nurturer, the one who makes others feel seen. Core need: Belonging within a larger whole. “I build homes that include everyone.”
4th House Ruler in the 12th House
Home is the soul.
Your emotional roots are deep, spiritual, and often hidden. There may be ancestral karma, isolation, or mystery around your early home. You need solitude, imagination, and inner peace to feel safe. Emotional avoidance, hidden grief, or self-isolation. Dream weaver, inner sanctuary, spiritual nurturer. Core need: Emotional retreat, spiritual connection. “I carry home within the quiet corners of my soul.”
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What trauma can become your power? Chiron in the houses

Chiron in the 1st house
Chiron in the first house signifies a deep inner wound related to personal identity, self-esteem, and the sense of self. This may stem from trauma experienced in early life when a person felt inadequate, rejected, or misunderstood in their unique expressions. Individuals with this placement often struggle to justify their existence, prove their worth, or meet others’ expectations to earn love and recognition.
However, this wound can become a source of incredible strength. Over time, individual learns to accept themselves as they are, with all their imperfections, vulnerabilities, and unique traits. This journey of self-discovery and acceptance not only helps heal their wound but also inspires others who face similar inner conflicts. Chiron in the first house makes a person highly sensitive to issues of individuality and self-expression, and their personal struggle with these themes becomes a powerful tool for helping others.
Chiron in the 2nd house
Chiron in the second house often indicates a wound related to self-worth, self-esteem, and material security. People with this placement may experience feelings of inadequacy, inner shame, or fear from an early age, believing they are undeserving of abundance or stability. They might have faced situations where their value was questioned by others, or they struggled to identify what makes them unique and worthy.
However, this wound carries the potential for profound transformation. As individual begins to work on recognizing their true worth, they can develop a powerful sense of inner resilience and learn to view the material world as a tool for growth rather than a source of fear. By overcoming self-doubt, they can become an inspiring example for others, demonstrating that a person’s value is not determined by external circumstances but emerges from inner confidence and self-acceptance.
Chiron in the second house has the power to transform this wound into a source of strength, helping the individual not only to build their self-esteem but also to guide others in discovering their true worth. Such a person may develop a unique gift for healing issues related to money, abundance, and self-worth, both in their own life and in the lives of those around them.
Chiron in the 3rd house
Chiron’s wound in the third house is associated with themes of communication, learning, self-expression, and interactions with the immediate environment, including siblings, neighbors, and close acquaintances. This placement may point to painful experiences related to the inability to be heard or understood, fear of saying the wrong thing, feelings of intellectual inadequacy, or traumas in relationships with relatives. A person with this placement often struggles with internal conflicts around expressing their thoughts and ideas, feeling that their voice does not matter or that their words are not taken seriously.
However, this wound can become a source of strength when the individual finds ways to overcome their inner fears and begins to see their experience as a unique gift. This transformative process often involves recognizing the value of their own voice and the power of words. Such individuals are capable of developing exceptional communication skills and becoming sources of support and inspiration for others. They may excel as teachers, writers, counselors, or lecturers, helping others overcome fears and learn self-expression. Their early pain teaches them to be attentive listeners and empathetic conversationalists, sensitive to the subtleties of communication and able to create a space for meaningful dialogue.
Chiron in the 4th house
Chiron’s wound in the fourth house is associated with matters of home, family, roots, and emotional security. This can manifest as a sense of lacking warmth, acceptance, or support during childhood, feeling alienated from one’s relatives, or an inability to find a place that feels like “home.” A person with this placement may experience an internal conflict between the desire to put down roots and the fear of being rejected or emotionally vulnerable.
However, the potential for transformation arises through working with this wound. By overcoming these inner fears and learning to create a sense of home within themselves, the individual can become a source of support for others, particularly for those who face similar challenges. They learn to transform pain into strength, developing a deep understanding of emotional needs and creating a space where others feel safe and accepted.
This wound becomes a source of strength when the individual recognizes that their ability to be empathetic, caring, and supportive has grown out of their own pain. This experience helps them build strong connections with others, grounded in genuine emotional depth and sincerity. A person with Chiron in the fourth house can become a symbol of healing energy within the context of family and emotional relationships.
Chiron in the 5th house
Chiron in the fifth house is often associated with a deep wound related to self-expression, creativity, love, and inner joy. People with this placement may feel unworthy of being in the spotlight, fear rejection for their talents, or struggle with insecurity in matters of personal fulfillment. This can manifest as a sense that their creativity is not valuable enough or as painful experiences connected to romantic relationships.
However, this wound, when worked through, can become a source of incredible strength. Those with Chiron in the fifth house have the potential to gain profound insight into how to help others embrace their uniqueness, support them in finding joy, and express their creativity. They can become mentors, inspiring others to overcome their fears and be true to themselves. This transformation not only makes them stronger but also more empathetic to the suffering of others, allowing them to use their wounds as a tool for healing, both for themselves and for those around them.
Chiron in the 6th house
Chiron’s wound in the sixth house is associated with a sense of inadequacy in daily life, service to others, and care for one’s body and health. People with this placement may experience inner conflicts stemming from feelings that they are not good enough in their work, that their efforts are undervalued, or that they are unable to care for themselves or others in the way they desire. This can manifest as chronic anxiety, difficulties establishing a healthy routine, or a tendency toward perfectionism that drains their energy.
However, this wound can become a powerful source of strength. A person with Chiron in the sixth house has the ability to transform their struggles into profound wisdom and an understanding of how to navigate daily challenges. They can become excellent mentors, healers, or specialists who help others organize their lives, overcome work-related difficulties, or improve their health. This experience teaches them to embrace imperfection in themselves and others and use it as a foundation for growth.
The core strength here lies in approaching oneself and others with compassion, recognizing the value of even the smallest efforts, and helping others find harmony in their everyday lives. Such individuals become a source of inspiration, demonstrating that wounds do not define us but can serve as a foundation for meaningful service that brings joy and purpose.
Chiron in the 7th house
Chiron’s wound in the seventh house is often associated with painful experiences in relationships and challenges related to finding a balance between oneself and a partner. This can manifest as feelings of rejection, disappointment in love, fear of intimacy, or a constant need to please others at the expense of one’s own needs.
However, like any Chiron wound, this trauma carries immense potential for healing and transformation. By recognizing their fears, failures, and behavioral patterns, individuals with this placement can develop deep empathy, wisdom, and the ability to support others through emotional and personal crises. This wound becomes a source of strength when they learn to harmonize with themselves, find a balance between independence and closeness, and build healthy relationships based on respect and mutual understanding. In doing so, they become an example for others, inspiring deeper and more conscious connections.
Chiron in the 8th house
Chiron in the eighth house often indicates deep emotional wounds related to themes of loss, transformation, intimacy, or matters of life and death. This can manifest through painful experiences such as betrayal, fear of losing control, or difficulties trusting others in close relationships. However, these very wounds can become a source of incredible strength and inner growth if the person is willing to recognize their significance and transform their experience.
Healing pain in the eighth house is possible through embracing vulnerability and exploring the power of transformation. This process can turn the fear of change into an ability not only to accept transitions but also to help others navigate through periods of crisis. People with Chiron in the eighth house can become remarkable mentors or healers, possessing a unique ability to understand others’ pain on a deep level and show them paths to healing. Their strength is born from the realization that true transformation begins with accepting the darker aspects of oneself, ultimately leading to inner freedom and empowerment.
Chiron in the 9th house
Chiron’s wound in the ninth house is associated with deep scars in the realms of higher education, philosophy, faith, the search for meaning, and travel. A person may feel an inner conflict or insecurity in their beliefs, doubt their own knowledge, or experience the pain of being unable to find their place within a worldview system. This wound often manifests as a sense of rejection of their ideas or beliefs or as a feeling of losing connection with something greater—be it cultural, spiritual, or intellectual belonging.
However, it is precisely through working with this wound that a person can gain immense strength. Chiron teaches us to heal our pain by sharing our experiences with others. The wound of the ninth house can become a source of wisdom if one recognizes that their unique journey, even if it has been full of doubt and searching, can inspire and guide others. They may become a teacher, philosopher, or guide, helping others find meaning in life and expand the boundaries of their worldview. By accepting their wound, the person becomes open to a diversity of perspectives, which makes them incredibly wise and tolerant. Thus, Chiron’s wound in the ninth house transforms into a source of strength, helping not only the individual but also those around them, building bridges between different cultures, religions, or philosophical systems.
Chiron in the 10th house
Chiron in the 10th house indicates wounds related to social status, career, achievements, and attitudes toward authority. This may manifest as a feeling of inability to achieve success or fear of responsibility. Such individuals often face criticism from society or loved ones, which can lead to self-doubt and uncertainty about their professional abilities. However, this vulnerability can become their strength if they recognize their fears and transform them into wisdom.
By overcoming the inner conflict tied to self-esteem and societal recognition, a person with Chiron in the tenth house can become a mentor to others, helping them overcome their own professional and personal barriers. This wound can provide a deep understanding of the nature of leadership, teach the balance between ambition and emotional needs, and show how to maintain resilience in challenging circumstances. Thus, Chiron in the tenth house has the potential to transform the pain into a source of inspiration and support for others.
Chiron in the 11th house
Chiron in the eleventh house indicates a wound related to themes of friendship, acceptance in groups, social ideals, and a sense of belonging to a community. A person with this placement may feel isolated or misunderstood within a collective, face betrayal by friends, or experience the sense that their uniqueness prevents them from being part of something larger. However, this wound can become a source of growth and strength. By working through their experiences, the individual learns to value their individuality and use it to build harmonious connections with others.
Chiron in this house grants the ability to mentor or inspire others, particularly those who feel “different” or out of place. The trauma associated with rejection can transform into the gift of creating communities where mutual understanding, respect, and support flourish. Thus, personal experiences of pain become the foundation for helping others find their place in the world.
Chiron in the 12th house
Chiron in the twelfth house often indicates a profound emotional wound connected to feelings of loneliness, separation from the world, or the suppression of emotions. This may stem from experiences of loss, hidden fears, or repressed traumas that a person carries within themselves, often without fully realizing it. The wound of Chiron here is tied to the subconscious, to what is hidden from the external world, and sometimes the person may feel lost, not understanding where their pain and anxiety originate.
However, this very wound can become an incredible source of strength and transformation. If a person becomes aware of their inner fears and wounds, they can learn to work with them, transforming them into compassion and wisdom. Chiron in the twelfth house offers the potential for deep healing—not only of oneself but also of others. Such a person can become a guide for those who are suffering, possessing a unique gift for delving into the hidden corners of the soul and helping others understand and embrace their shadows.
The key to turning the wound into strength is accepting one’s vulnerability and exploring the inner world through meditation, psychological work, or spiritual practices. Chiron in this house teaches that weakness can become a powerful resource for inner growth, and through serving and helping others, a person can find profound meaning and personal healing.

#astrology#astro#natal chart#astro observations#birth chart#astro notes#astrology posts#zodiac#Chiron#Chiron in the houses
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I’ve just been thinking about how important Astarion’s hands are to his identity. I feel like the brainrot is taking over that I’m trying to analyze this, but hear me out. It's more my rambling thoughts than analysis.

All of Astarion’s practical skills are intimately tied to his hands. Finesse. Dexterity. He tosses daggers, picks pockets, picks locks, disarms traps. Even when it comes to his hobby of sewing and embroidery, that’s all about hands and fingers too. He rolls coins along his knuckles to show off. Astarion takes pride in what his hands are capable of.
His hands are also used against others. A way to hold someone back. Hold someone down. To have them in his hands. Touch is a power of his, practiced for decades, to pleasure and manipulate others. Wrapping them around his finger. In the palm of his hand. Hands are what we use to push someone back. To grab the collar of a shirt. To hold a dagger. They are tools of control.
We get two lines about him being loath to “break a nail”, and as I once spoke about in an analysis post on Astarion’s expression of vanity, this is clearly an example of his mask, distracting from vulnerability. It’s not a stretch to read into these lines about his nails as alluding to his time in the crypt. Clawing in desperation at a coffin lid for the better part of a year would do much more than break nails. That year wore away so much of his identity, as it did his hands. It was loss and helplessness.
Hands can also be a symbol of violation. A hand being forced. Grabbing. Prodding. Taking. Hurting. Claws scraping. Curled fists. A bruising grip. The stuff of his worst memories and nightmares. Even gentle, loving touch does not feel safe or enjoyable to Astarion for a long time. He's used to hands only ever taking. His own included.
Hands are so often used as imagery for autonomy, responsibility, and guilt. Blood is on our hands specifically because they are considered instruments of will. It's interesting that Astarion’s story is all about these themes, too. In the end, the hands that were forced to drag so many souls into Cazador's grasp were the same ones that drove a dagger through the vampire's heart.
Hands are also meant to reach out. To hold on. To carry a torch to light the way. To caress. To link fingers with the hand of another. To create and build. To express and feel. Hands (both his and those of others) have the same capacity for gentleness, giving, and connection as they do cruelty, and that's something Astarion finally believes, by the end.

And his hands will never be forced again.
- (The dialogue screenshot above is from 'A Dream Of Silence' by abigailmoment. I'm just using it illustratively)
#This was a bit of a ramble#bg3#astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion analysis#spawn astarion#maybe i'll write something more polished in the future
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How to Read a Composite Chart:
I have a lot of asks in regard to composite. I will try to answer some of the older asks I have about composite next. But if I don't get to yours hopefully this helps people analyze their own charts.
1st House:
Overall vibe of the relationship. Identity of the relationship.
How the couple expresses themselves when together. How the couple is seen together.
2nd House:
Stability of the relationship. Values + sense of worth within the relationship.
3rd House:
Communication. Overall, theme of day-to-day conversations and mindsets. Shared interests and intellectual in regard to the relationship.
4th House:
Happiness and comfort within the relationship. Private life of the couple. The “home” of the relationship.
5th House:
Romance, sexual chemistry + playfulness in the relationship. How the couple expresses and creates together.
6th House:
Overall theme of everyday life. Health, work, conflict, life in regard to the relationship - how well the couple works together on the daily. Service to one another. Practical reality of the relationship.
7th House:
Sense of balance + fairness in the relationship. The relationship itself. How the couple is together. Focus given to the relationship & serious commitments.
8th House:
Trust + vulnerability in the relationship. Transformation in the relationship. Emotional and/or karmic bonding.
9th House:
Shared beliefs + worldview. Interest in higher experiences + knowledge. Cultural differences and/or similarities.
10th House:
Couple’s reputation and public image. Joint ambitions. How the relationship affects social standing.
11th House:
Friendship of the relationship - is the relationship based in friendship or not? Social circles and social life of the relationship. Couple’s long terms visions and desires.
12th House:
Emotional and/or karmic bonding. Undoing of the relationship. This house can show cause of the breakup and behaviour near the end of the relationship.
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headcannon | megan x transmasc!reader
author’s note: so so so excited to finally be writing for the katz! lemme know what you guys think of this, and please excuse my poor grammar, lol.
warnings: pre transition!reader at the beginning, transmasc!reader, obvi. it kinda goes for both non-binary readers and transmen, too. hrt therapy & top surgery mentioned. nsfw at the end, MDNI.
🏷️: katseye x reader, megan x reader, katseye smut, katseye, megan skiendiel, transmasc reader.
megan had absolutely NO CLUE that you were having these kinds of thoughts about your gender identity.
which is why she got a little bit surprised when you came out to her as transmasc.
poor girl couldn’t get the clues. 😭
but needless to say she was the most supportive girlfriend ever since the very first day.
“look at me, my love…” she held your hands while you looked at her, a couple of tears streaming down your face as you let yourself feel vulnerable in front of her. “tell me your name, hm?”
“(y/n)…” she smiled like a child when she heard it for the first time, kissing your cheek right on top of one of the tears.
“your name is so beautiful, baby.”
you KNOW that she would act like the proudest girlfriend ever.
even though she knew little to nothing about transitioning.
but even though she struggled to understand a few things at first, she never deadnamed you; or used the incorrect pronouns with you.
and god helped the poor soul who did it in front of her.
megan driving you to your first hrt consult!!!!
and of course, getting a speed ticket because of how fast she wanted to get there.
megan writing the day down so she can remember the first day you got your very first t-shot.
and girlie would 100% make you do the “hi my name is (y/n) and i’m one day on testosterone” trend.
megan would absolutely be thrilled when you told her you wanted to tell the katz.
pookie would have to hold her tongue because she was so excited about it that she wanted to share with her sisters asap!!!
and obviously she held your hand tight when you told the girls, even though you knew it’d be alright.
“guys i have a BOYFRIEND NOW!!”
she LOVES LOVES LOVES calling you “my boy” by the way.
unironically changed your contract to “my favorite guy in the world.”
was THRILLED when the T changes started to show.
and pookie would be like “baby look at your BEARD.”
would definitely learn how to help you when you were feeling extra dysphoric.
and would put an alarm on her phone every time you wore a binder to remind both of you that you shouldn’t wear it for more than 6 hours.
obviously would take you to the courthouse to finally kill off your dead name.
and i just KNOW girlie would throw a death-themed party afterwards with a tombstone cake.
megan would take you (and all of the katz) to the trans pride parade in los angeles.
she wouldn’t care if fans noticed her and asked her for pictures, she just wanted to be with you.
and she wanted you to know that she loved you no matter what.
pookie would remind you every day that she was proud of you for doing this. 🥺
megan would leave post-its (exclusively with the colors of your flag) on your kitchen before going to practice.
“don’t forget to eat lunch today, sweet boy!”
“have a nice day, my prince!”
but every now and then she would write the most awful jokes.
“do you speak english or do i need to TRANS-late?”
getting so so so so excited when you finally got cleared for top surgery!!!
almost DEMANDING hybe to give her some weeks off so she could take care of you 24/7.
which, obviously, she did.
girlie wouldn’t let you do ANYTHING when you were post-op.
“megan you don’t have to come to the bathroom with me…”
“but what if you need help to take a shit”
once you got the bandages and the drains off, and you finally got to see your new chest, megan cried more than you did.
and she obviously took 300 pictures so she could look at your chest whenever she wanted.
once you got comfortable with it, she showed them to the katz too.
“it must suck that i have the hottest boyfriend ever and you guys don’t.”
overall she would be the sweetest person in the world ugh.
now here’s where it gets funny.
megan was SO scared to have sex with you at first.
not because she didn’t know what to do, because she surely did.
but she was terrified of crossing a boundary with you or doing something that triggered your dysphoria.
so you guys had a long, long conversation about this before she could actually relax and feel a little less anxious about fucking you.
babes, let’s face it. that girl is a bottom.
even when she tops, she subs.
she just wants to make you feel good all of the time.
megan would absolutely take advantage of the fact that you had significant bottom growth.
and girlie would put her legs on your lap while you were talking to the katz or doing something that required your attention, just so she could rub her legs on your dick as hard as she could.
would absolutely make you buy the biggest packer available too.
“you know how well i can take you, baby.”
is a sucker for missionary.
it’s when she can feel you the most.
and pookie LOVES dirty talking, too.
with a tiny bit of a daddy kink.
“fuck, daddy… your dick is filling me up so nice, ugh…”
and obviously *cough cough* breeding kink *cough*.
everything that was slightly gender-affirming to you turned the shit out of her.
she wanted you to know that right now, she needed her man to fuck the life out of her.
and also. blowjobs. all. the. time.
she would DIE whenever you came in her mouth.
the feeling of having your t-dick pulsing between her lips made her feel insane.
and every time you’d put her hair up in a ponytail she would melt.
obviously would top you the only way she knows how.
would have her way with you while looking the puppiest she’s ever looked.
“is this good enough, my boy?” “am i being good?”
she wants you to know you’re in charge here.
and she just wants to be good for you.
#headcannons.#transmasc.#nsfw.#katseye x reader#katseye#megan x reader#megan skiendiel#megan skiendiel x reader#katseye smut#katseye x transmasc reader#katseye x reader smut#katseye x y/n#katseye x masc reader#megan skiendiel smut#transmasc reader#transmasc!reader#katseye blurbs#katseye thoughts#katseye imagines#katseye megan#katseye megan skiendiel#megan x transmasc reader#megan x masc reader#non binary reader#nonbinary!reader#smut
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sun in 8th house



celebs with sun in 8th house: Lana Del Rey, Sophia Loren, Emma Watson, Natalie Portman, Prince, The Weeknd, Monica Bellucci's, James McAvoy
The sun symbolizes the core essence of a person's identity. It represents your conscious self, ego and life purpose. The 8th house represents transformation and rebirth, the ending and beginning of cycles. It governs matters related to deep emotional bonds, shared resources and life mysteries.
The sun in the 8th house- is one of the most profound and transformative placements. This placement imbues individuals with intense and magnetic energy-. When the sun falls on the 8th house it lights up the areas of the themes associated with transformation, death & rebirth, intimacy, shared resources and the occult which make them central to the person's identity and life path.
Sun in 8th house individuals are often on a lifelong journey of personal evolution. Frequently experiencing periods of transformation whether through external crises, inner awakening's or both. Those moments of rebirth define their identity and often lead to self-discovery. Like a phoenix repeatedly shedding old versions of themselves to become stronger and more aligned with their true purpose.
Sun in 8th house native get attention without even realizing. Their mysterious aura and magnetic presence draw people in. Others may describe them as enigmatic or hypnotic. individuals with this placement are strongly drawn to hidden and taboo natures. Their natural inclination is to explore what lies beneath the surface, both in themselves and others.
In relationships, these natives crave depth, honesty and vulnerability. They. Superficial or casual connections don't satisfy them.
Individuals with this placement find themselves in positions of financial responsibility, whether managing others money or overseeing collective assets. It's easy for the native to find hidden opportunities in some areas, but they may also experience challenges and lessons tied to wealth, power and control.
The sun in the 8th house illuminates the hidden realms of existence, inviting it's native to explore life's mysteries, offering potential for deep transformation and wisdom. These individuals are alchemist of the soul, turning pain and darkness into strength, light and purpose.
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Lilith in the Signs
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ᡣ𐭩 Please support me by reposting, liking, following me and commenting your lilith placement. Lilith named after Adam's first wife who was casted away because of her rebellion. Represents our inner shame, what we repress but also what fules our drive.

0º is the degree which doesn't have a coresponding sign assigned to it. It's a fresh new degree and will amplify the themes of the sign that it's in
Aries (1,13,25º) you carry a primal, fiery drive to assert yourself and take what you want—sexually, emotionally, and energetically. The world may have taught you to feel ashamed for being too aggressive, too sexual, or too quick to take the lead. Your wild nature is unfiltered and direct, and when repressed, it may come out through bursts of rage or sexual domination. Deep down, you possess raw, untamed power that thrives on independence and autonomy—but society may have punished you for showing up as “too much,” especially when you assert your will unapologetically.
Taurus (2, 14, 26°) deeply rooted in the body, in touch with sensuality, pleasure, and indulgence. This placement carries a connection to the erotic through the five senses—touch, taste, smell, sound, and sight. You may have been shamed for enjoying comfort, luxury, or for being “lazy” or “self-indulgent.” Your shadow power lies in unapologetically embracing physical pleasure, and your sensuality can be overwhelming in its stillness and presence. Others may project their discomfort with earthly desires onto you, making you feel “dirty” for what is simply natural.
Gemini (3, 15, 27°) your dark side emerges through your mind, your words, and your curiosity. You may have been shamed for being too talkative, flirtatious, or mentally provocative. There’s a seductive power in your intellect and a dangerous allure in your ability to play with words and ideas. Your wild nature expresses itself in taboo thoughts, dark humor, or the urge to experiment with different identities. The world may have told you your voice is “too much” or your ideas are “wrong,” leading you to repress your brilliance or scatter it in disguise.
Cancer (4, 16, 28°) the wound of shame cuts deeply through your emotional and nurturing nature. You may have been made to feel weak, needy, or manipulative for your emotional intensity. There can also be shame tied to motherhood, caregiving, or family roles—especially if you don’t conform. Yet your wild nature thrives in emotional intimacy, dark maternal instincts, and sensual caregiving. Your sexuality may feel tangled with longing, protection, and vulnerability, and you may find power in expressing love in fierce, uncontainable ways that others might label as “too much.”
Leo (5, 17, 29°) this placemnt carries a theatrical, magnetic, and wildly expressive sexual energy that demands attention. You may have been shamed for being “too loud,” too dramatic, or craving the spotlight—especially in your sensual expression. But at your core, you radiate confidence, erotic self-expression, and the desire to be celebrated for your whole self. Your shame may come from being called vain or selfish when you wanted to shine. Yet your dark power is exactly that: the unapologetic declaration that you deserve to be seen, loved, and worshipped.
Virgo (6, 18° ) Lilith expresses her wildness through precision, ritual, and the eroticism of control. You may have been shamed for not being perfect, for having hidden desires, or for being too analytical about things that are supposed to be “pure.” There’s a deep sexual undercurrent in your attention to detail and in your ability to serve, heal, or purify. You may secretly crave being useful, even in taboo ways, but feel dirty or broken for those desires. Your power lies in integrating your wildness with your devotion to order—turning shame into sacred service.
Libra (7, 19°) feels shame around charm, attractiveness, and the ability to manipulate relationships. You may have learned that being too seductive, too dependent, or too strategic in love is dangerous or dishonest. But your shadow power lives in the art of erotic connection and relational magnetism. You have a deep ability to influence others through beauty, diplomacy, and seduction. The world may have tried to control your ability to make others desire you. Yet your wild nature knows that attraction is a source of power, and when wielded with awareness, it becomes magic.
Scorpio( 8, 20°) one of her most powerful and intense forms. You may have been deeply shamed for your sexual intensity, emotional depth, or dark magnetism. There’s a wild, almost dangerous energy in your sensuality—one that draws people in but also terrifies them. You might struggle with trust, jealousy, or fear of losing control. Your power lies in erotic transformation, emotional truth, and the ability to go where others won’t. The world may fear your darkness, but it’s within this darkness that you find your truest self.
Sagittarius (9, 21°) your shame may stem from your craving for freedom, sexual adventure, or spiritual rebellion. You may have been told you’re inappropriate, offensive, or “too wild” in your thoughts and behaviors. But your sensuality is expansive, bold, and curious. You find power in crossing boundaries—geographical, philosophical, and erotic. The world may try to domesticate or silence your hunger for more, but your wild nature thrives when it’s free to explore, question, and defy expectation. Your shame dissolves in truth-seeking and ecstatic liberation.
Capricorn (10, 22º) hides her desire behind control, ambition, and structure. You may have been shamed for being cold, emotionally unavailable, or overly focused on success—especially if you used power to protect your vulnerable self. Yet beneath that exterior is a fierce, disciplined sensuality that finds strength in domination and endurance. There may be shame around success, aging, or traditional roles—but also a deep eroticism in authority and restraint. Your wild nature is dignified and commanding, and your power lies in reclaiming authority over your own body and desires.
Aquarius (11, 23°) your shame revolves around being different, emotionally detached, or too rebellious. You may have been alienated for unconventional beliefs, unique desires, or alternative sexualities. Your sensuality is electric, futuristic, and often experimental. You thrive in taboo thoughts and communal awakenings, yet the world may have tried to force you into a box. Your wild power lies in unapologetic nonconformity and erotic liberation. You are here to disrupt old paradigms, and your shame often signals exactly where the revolution begins.
Pisces (12, 24°) carries a mystical, dreamlike sensuality that blurs boundaries and lives between worlds. You may have been shamed for being too sensitive, too sexual in subtle or spiritual ways, or for escaping reality through fantasy or addiction. There’s often shame around your permeability—how easily you absorb others’ energies or lose yourself in emotional or sexual surrender. Yet your dark magic lies in your capacity to transcend, to merge, and to experience the divine through the erotic. The world may call you delusional, but your shame hides a portal to ecstatic truth.
DISCLAIMER: This post is a generalisation and may not resonate. I recommend you get a reading from an astrologer (me). If you want a reading from me check out my sales page.
@astrofaeology private services 2025 all rights reserved
#astrology#astro observations#astr#astro notes#astro community#lilith#lilith asteroid#lilith in the signs
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THE CHART RULER & HOW TO FIND IT:
⟢ the chart ruler is the planetary ruler of the 1H. in the context of the composite chart, the chart ruler can indicate the primary themes within a relationship, the pairing's shared approach to life, as well as how others perceive the relationship.
⟢ to find the chart ruler, find what sign the ascendant is in, what planet rules that sign, and where it falls in the composite chart.
⟢ look to what house the planet is in, as well as what aspects it's making to the rest of the chart. the way that the chart ruler interacts with the entire chart will provide further context into how the energy manifests in a relationship.
⟢ e.g. if the rising sign in a composite chart is scorpio, then the chart ruler is mars. if mars falls in the 5H and is trine mercury, the relationship may be very stimulating and competitive in nature, inspire creativity and pleasure, instill a deep intimate mental (and physical) connection, and involve children.
🏹 SUN AS THE CHART RULER IN THE COMPOSITE CHART:
── if the ascendant in the composite chart is in leo, then the chart ruler is the sun. this relationship typically has a strong impact on the identities of both parties involved, they can be very dedicated to instilling confidence in one another, and take great pride in their partnership. if the sun isn't afflicted by anything else in the chart, they tend to work well creatively as a team, and are typically viewed by those around them as as a very strong, stable pairing. they can be the type of couple that attracts a lot of attention, or is the "life of the party" in a sense, as they tend to be outgoing, and have a very warm, illuminating presence about them. fathers/paternal figures could also have an impact on this relationship.
── if the sun is afflicted by other planets in the composite, there could be difficulties surrounding ego and power plays. these two could have a very domineering approach to the relationship, and struggle with jealousy and needing external validation from one another, or from outside forces. they typically need to work towards finding balance in order to work together instead of against one another, and ensure that their worth as a pairing is derived from a place of integrity, rather than from superficialities and status.
🏹 MOON AS THE CHART RULER IN THE COMPOSITE CHART:
── if the ascendant in the composite chart is in cancer, then the chart ruler is the moon. this relationship tends to be defined by their deep, emotional bond. vulnerability is integral to their connection, and they prioritize feeling safe and secure together above all else. there can be a tendency towards moody behavior, as emotions fluctuate frequently between the pair. if the moon isn't afflicted, they should be adaptable and be able to provide space or comfort to one another when needed with little conflict. this also indicates that domestic matters play a significant role in the relationship, and the pairing typically seek to build a stable foundation with one another. to others, this is a couple that is viewed as private and very protective of each other, and they may have a tendency to mirror each other's behavior or mannerisms. mothers/maternal figures could also have an impact on this relationship.
── if the moon is afflicted, the natives may struggle with feeling insecure or unstable in the relationship, and lash out impulsively as a result. one or both partners could retain feelings of frustration or resentment and struggle with communicating. this could also indicate one or both partners being overly passive in nature and not advocating for their needs. they could also encounter difficulties in their domestic life as a byproduct, and find that they have opposing views in how to maintain their home, raise their children, etc. these natives typically have to work towards approaching the relationship pragmatically, rather than solely based on their emotions, in order to build and maintain a healthy, stable connection with one another.
🏹 MERCURY AS THE CHART RULER IN THE COMPOSITE CHART:
── if the ascendant in the composite chart is in gemini or virgo, then the chart ruler is mercury. this relationship is typically defined by a strong mental connection. they typically have a shared curiosity and a deep infatuation with their interests. they may enjoy learning and traveling together, have a tendency to debate about shared interests, and ultimately seek mental simulation through their bond. if mercury isn't afflicted, they tend to be good at communicating and remaining on the same page with one another. because their connection is more cerebral, the way they interact as a couple may come off as more "dry" and less lovey-dovey. others may characterize them as a very quick-witted, knowledgable pair.
── if mercury is afflicted here, their restless nature tends to work against them rather than for them. the relationship may overtime grow to feel tense, restricting, or too mundane for one or both parties. this can also develop into arguments or manipulative behavior, as the pair may feel uneasy or defensive around one another. they typically have to work to find balance between maintaining a sense of stability in the relationship, while implementing things into their routine that keeps them both stimulated and engaged in the relationship.
🏹 VENUS AS THE CHART RULER IN THE COMPOSITE CHART:
── if the ascendant in the composite chart is in taurus or libra, then the chart ruler is venus. this is a relationship that tends to be very serene and benevolent in nature. the pair typically approaches life, as well as their relationship, with stability and harmony being their top priority. their connection is a passionate one, and they tend to give into their indulgences with moderation. if venus isn't afflicted, this is a couple that is typically very warm-hearted and sympathetic, both towards each other and those around them. they're usually viewed as a very energetically magnetic, attractive couple, and are usually characterized as charitable and fair.
── if venus is afflicted, the couple may view their connection to one another in a very shallow, vain way. one or both partners could struggle with being too passive as a result of low self-worth, or feel the need to "keep the peace" out of fear of conflict. they may have to work towards understanding that the value of their partnership should be derivative of innate compassion for one another, rather than vanity or material worth.
🏹 MARS AS THE CHART RULER IN THE COMPOSITE CHART:
── if the ascendant in the composite chart is in aries or scorpio, then the chart ruler is mars. this relationship is usually defined by it's intensity, as the couple tends to have a very heated, passionate bond and approach to life. this passion can at times evolve into irritability or anger, which is typically doesn't last long, as they tend to address conflict head on and express their emotions relatively quickly. power struggles can be prevalent, but if mars isn't afflicted, there tends to be more ease in accommodating for one another's need for independence. it's possible for others to view this as a "love/hate" relationship, as they tend to be characterized as being just as competitive as they are infatuated with one another.
── if mars is afflicted, aggressive behavior may be far more prevalent in the relationship and harder to work through. one or both partners may struggle with being overly controlling or jealous. they typically have to find heathy ways to express their competitiveness with one another, and due to their high stamina as a pair, it's usually found through physical activities such as sports, exercise, or sex. they must grow to understand that they gain more by working together instead of against each other, and can even benefit when working as a team towards shared ambitions.
🏹 JUPITER AS THE CHART RULER IN THE COMPOSITE CHART:
── if the ascendant in the composite chart is in sagittarius or pisces, then the chart ruler is jupiter. this relationship tends to be extremely bountiful, and pushes both parties towards self-growth. this can be a pairing that is very tolerant and optimistic by nature, and connect with each other, as well as others, through shared spiritual or religious beliefs. they may also have shared studies or academic interests, or enjoy traveling together. if jupiter isn't afflicted, they tend to be very generous, and encounter lucky breaks through their connection. this couple is typically characterized by others as extremely jovial and accepting. they're usually seen as being very sympathetic, both towards each other and to those around them.
── if jupiter is afflicted, this relationship can suffer from the "rose-colored lenses" effect. one or both partners may not be able to see the flaws in the other, and could aggrandize one another's character. they may also overindulge in unhealthy habits and exhibit careless, self-destructive behavior. they may have to work towards instilling a sense of grounding in their connection, and not over-idealize each other, in order to maintain a stable, healthy relationship.
🏹 SATURN AS THE CHART RULER IN THE COMPOSITE CHART:
── if the ascendant in the composite chart is in capricorn or aquarius, then the chart ruler is saturn. this relationship can be somewhat unconventional in terms of romance. this can be a very "acts of service" type of relationship, where they prefer to show up for one another in very pragmatic, tangible ways. despite saturn's malefic nature, this can be indicative of a long-lasting partnership, and a couple that is patient with one another and dedicated to taking care of each other. if saturn isn't afflicted, this pair will value their independence greatly, and consider it a great act of love to allow their partner the freedom to explore their individuality. others may view this couple as being very responsible, albeit, too domineering or aloof at times. they're typically not viewed as the most (publicly) affectionate, and can be very private in nature.
── is saturn is afflicted, it's cold nature can be amplified, and shows up as rigid behavior from one or both parties. this pairing can be very authoritative towards one another, and may put too much emphasis on needing to be viewed a certain way by the public. this can result in controlling behavior, as well as a general dull, restrictive relationship. they may need to work towards approaching their bond from a more tolerant perspective, and focus on guiding and teaching one another, rather than tearing each other down.
dividers by kodaswrld
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