#there are hints of the other fears in there

[2b4st4r]

⊹ ࣪ ˖ A Killers Promise ⊹ ࣪ ˖

Straw hats x reader

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ Words: 8,948

⭑.ᐟ warnings: Violance and gore, Childhood trauma, panic attack, emotional angst, brief unsettling imagery, nightmares, shower scene (DOES NOT SHOW ANYTHING, hinted F! reader.

⋆⭒˚.⋆ Summery: Y/N, a quiet member of the Straw Hat Pirates with a hidden past. Though she steadfastly refuses to fight, her crew believes it's simply a preference or a lack of skill. What they don't know is the terrifying truth: Y/N is a formidable killer, honed by a brutal childhood war fought for her family and island. After witnessing a loved one's death, she made a solemn vow to abandon violence forever, but what will happen when she’s put in a position where she has to make a choice, break the promise— or save her new found family; the strawhats.

masterlist ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

The rhythmic creak of the Thousand Sunny’s mast was a lullaby, a stark contrast to the cacophony that once defined your world. Here, amidst the boisterous Straw Hats, you were an anomaly. They knew you didn't fight, a fact you’d established early on with a quiet, unwavering resolve. Luffy, bless his guileless heart, probably thought you just preferred cheering from the sidelines. Zoro, perhaps, assumed you hadn't the knack for it. Nami, ever practical, likely saw you as valuable in other ways. They were all wrong. So terribly, fundamentally wrong.

God, you could fight. You were a symphony of calculated strikes, a whirlwind of precision and power. The memory of steel in your hand felt as natural as breathing, the taste of adrenaline a familiar tang on your tongue. Before the Sunny, before this semblance of peace, there was only war.

You were barely a teenager when the drums of conflict began to beat, echoing across your island, a relentless rhythm of oppression under a cruel government. Your hands, still small and slender, learned to grip a blade before they truly knew how to hold a pen. You fought for them, for your family, for the very ground beneath your feet. There was a raw, undeniable craving for blood then, not born of malice, but of desperation. Each swing, each parry, was a prayer for survival, a desperate plea for freedom.

The air on those nights was thick with the scent of fear and smoke, illuminated by the orange glow of burning homes. You were a phantom in the chaos, a blur of motion, driven by an instinct to protect. You remembered the sickening crunch of bone, the wet thud of bodies hitting the ground, and the desperate cries that mingled with your own ragged breaths. You were good at it, terrifyingly so. Every move was etched into your muscle memory, a brutal dance perfected through countless skirmishes.

Then came the night the island finally cracked. The citizens, pushed to their breaking point, rose up in a desperate, last-ditch effort to reclaim what was theirs. You were in the thick of it, a whirlwind of fury and hope. The shouts of defiance mingled with the crack of gunfire, a chaotic crescendo. You saw your brother, his eyes wide with a mixture of terror and determination, just meters away. And then, the sickening crack, the way his body crumpled, a dark stain blossoming on his chest.

You were there in an instant, cradling him, your hands slick with his lifeblood. His breath hitched, a desperate gurgle in his throat. His eyes, already clouding, found yours. "Y/N," he rasped, his voice barely a whisper, "Promise me… promise me you'll stop. Stop this… this bloodshed. Live, little sister. Live for peace."

Your own sobs tore through you, a raw, primal sound that was swallowed by the surrounding cacophony of battle. "No… no, please," you choked, tears streaming down your face, mixing with the blood on your hands. But his gaze, unwavering even in death, held you captive. And through your agony, through the despair of watching your people fall, you made the promise. A promise whispered to a dying boy, a vow to forsake the very thing you were terrifyingly good at.

The weeks that followed were a blur of grief and hollow victory. The island was free, but at what cost? Your hands, once so quick to grasp a weapon, now trembled at the thought. The very sight of a blade sent shivers down your spine. The craving for blood, once a driving force, was replaced by a profound nausea. You sought solace in quiet, in the simple rhythm of everyday life. You learned to cultivate a garden, to mend torn sails, to appreciate the quiet hum of a peaceful existence.

The years stretched on, each one a testament to that solemn vow. The killer within you, once a roaring inferno, was carefully, painstakingly banked. You embraced a new path, one of gentle understanding and quiet observation. The Straw Hats saw a calm, collected presence, a kind soul who offered comfort and support. They saw your refusal to fight as a quirk, perhaps even a weakness. They never knew the raging storm you had tamed, the monstrous capability you held in check, all for the sake of a promise made to a dying brother. And you would keep that promise, no matter what.

They didn't see the killer you had been, or the one you still held at bay. They saw the person who’d zone out at the sight of blood, a distant look clouding your eyes as memories, sharp and unwanted, pricked at the edges of your consciousness. They saw the one who’d stay behind when they went to fight, a silent sentinel on the deck, watching the chaos unfold from a safe, agonizing distance. And they saw the one who refused to even hold a weapon, your hands always empty, even when a spare blade or a discarded pipe lay conveniently nearby.

This was the person they had taken onto their ship, a non-combatant in a crew defined by their fighting prowess. Most of them didn't understand it, least of all Luffy, your captain. He tried—he really did—to make sense of your pacifism.

"Hey, Y/N!" Luffy would shout, bounding over to you with a wide grin, a rusty old pipe already in his hand. "Look! This looks like a fun weapon! Wanna try swinging it?" He'd offer it to you, his eyes bright with genuine enthusiasm, completely missing the subtle tightening of your jaw, the faint tremor that would run through your fingers. You'd just shake your head, a small, polite smile fixed on your face. "No thank you, Luffy. I'm not really good with weapons." He'd deflate for a moment, then shrug, already distracted by the next shiny object or the promise of meat.

Another time, during a particularly chaotic skirmish with some minor thugs, you found yourself near Zoro, who'd lost one of his swords in the fray. It lay glinting on the deck, just inches from your foot. "Y/N! The sword!" he grunted, fighting off two assailants. For a split second, your gaze locked onto the hilt, your fingers twitching with an involuntary, phantom grip. The muscle memory screamed, pick it up, it's right there, you could end this. But then, your brother's dying eyes flashed in your mind, and the brief surge of adrenaline receded, leaving behind a cold dread. You simply nudged the sword with your foot, pushing it closer to Zoro, and mumbled, "Here, Zoro, it's just by your hand." He snatched it up, giving you a quick, puzzled glance before diving back into the fight, none the wiser to the internal battle you'd just won.

Even Nami, ever observant, once tried to hand you a small, ornate dagger she'd acquired, thinking it might be a good self-defense tool. "It's just for emergencies, Y/N," she'd said kindly. You'd held it for a moment, the cool weight of the metal strangely familiar, and then, with a deep breath, handed it back. "I'm sure you'll make better use of it, Nami," you'd replied, a lightness in your tone that belied the tension in your shoulders.

They saw your calm demeanor, your quiet support, your occasional bouts of distant silence. They saw a crewmate who chose not to fight, and they, in their own unique ways, respected it. They didn't see the constant vigil, the unyielding strength it took to keep the killer buried deep, all for the sake of a promise whispered to a dying brother on a war-torn island.

For the most part, they accepted your unique stance, but sometimes, the teasing would come, lighthearted jabs that still managed to prick. Zoro, ever the blunt one, would sometimes just snort when the topic of fighting came up, a dismissive sound that spoke volumes without a single word. You'd just offer him a small, unreadable smile in return.

Usopp, in his usual dramatic fashion, would often proclaim, "See, even Y/N's more afraid than me when the fighting starts! At least I try to fight, even if I get scared!" He'd puff out his chest, completely oblivious to the quiet strength it took for you to simply be there, unmoving, while chaos erupted. Chopper, bless his innocent heart, would sometimes fret, "Are you sure you're okay, Y/N? You always look a little… sad when everyone else is fighting." You'd reassure him with a gentle pat on his head, a warmth in your eyes that masked the underlying ache.

Franky, with his boisterous enthusiasm, once tried to entice you. "C'mon, Y/N! Imagine the SUPER moves you could do with a custom weapon! We could build you something amazing!" You just laughed, a genuine, melodious sound. "I'm sure you could, Franky, but I think I'll stick to enjoying your creations from a safe distance."

But there were always those who saw more. Sanji, ever the gentleman, would instantly spring to your defense. "Leave her alone, you louts! Y/N does plenty for this ship! She doesn't need to fight! Who do you think keeps track of our supplies so meticulously? Or helps Nami with her charts? She's an invaluable member of this crew!" He'd glare at the others, apron fluttering dramatically, while you offered him a grateful, soft smile.

And then there was Robin. She didn't tease or bully. Her eyes, perceptive and ancient, saw past the surface. She saw how, when blood bloomed on the deck during a skirmish, you didn't pale, shake, or even run. Instead, you paused. It was a fleeting moment, a subtle stiffening of your shoulders, a sharpening of your gaze that lasted only an instant before it softened again.

She'd seen you, for instance, when Luffy had taken a nasty cut across his arm. While others gasped or rushed to tend to him, you simply watched, your eyes momentarily distant, focused not on the wound itself, but on the way the dark red liquid spread. There was no revulsion in your expression, no fear. Just a profound, almost analytical stillness, as if you were recalling something, reliving a moment only you could see. Then, as quickly as it came, the intensity would fade, replaced by your usual calm demeanor as you moved to grab bandages for Chopper.

Another time, when a low-level pirate had been knocked unconscious, a trickle of blood emerging from his temple, your gaze had drifted to it. You didn't flinch. Instead, your fingers had subtly flexed, an almost imperceptible clenching and unclenching, as if recalling the sensation of a blade. Robin had caught it, a flicker of recognition in her own eyes. You were a mystery to most, a gentle soul among a crew of fighters. But to Robin, you were a locked book, and she, with her quiet observation, was slowly deciphering the chapters within.

It was supposed to be a normal stop, a quaint little island with kind villagers, bathed in the soft glow of a perpetually setting sun. Usually, this was your cue to stay back, watch the Sunny, enjoying the quiet solitude of the ship while the others explored. But the Sunny needed repairs from the last brutal skirmish, a gaping hole in her hull and a splintered mast calling for Franky’s immediate attention.

"You stay put, Y/N," Franky had boomed, already surrounded by tools, "I need to get this baby shipshape. You go have some fun!" When you offered to stay with him, a quiet assurance that you preferred the calm of the ship, Nami had practically pulled you away, a determined glint in her eye. "No way, Y/N! You've been cooped up on the ship too long. Robin and I need your keen eye for shopping! You need a break from watching the Sunny!"

So, you went. It was a rare occurrence, walking alongside the entire crew into town. Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, Brook, and you—a motley parade heading for supplies.

Luffy, predictably, was already causing a stir, pointing at every food stall with an eager cry of "Meat!" Chopper bounced excitedly beside him, mesmerized by a street performer’s juggling act. Usopp was haggling loudly over what appeared to be a very ordinary slingshot, convinced it was a rare, ancient artifact. Sanji, ever the doting chef, was already flirting with a local baker, his eyes practically turning into hearts. Nami, ever practical, had her nose in a map, muttering about good deals, while Robin calmly browsed a book stall, a serene smile on her face. Brook, of course, was asking every woman he passed if he could see their panties, much to Nami’s exasperated groans.

You walked a little behind them all, taking in the sights and sounds. The smell of freshly baked bread mingled with the salty sea air. Children laughed, chasing each other through the narrow streets. For a moment, a fragile peace settled over you.

Then, it went to hell.

Luffy, in his usual boundless enthusiasm, had tried to "help himself" to a giant, glistening leg of roast meat from a grumpy vendor’s stall. The vendor, clearly not used to pirates, let out a furious bellow, brandishing a cleaver. One thing led to another, a spilled drink, a mistaken shove, and suddenly, the entire market erupted.

"You damn pirates!" a burly man roared, swinging a fist at Usopp. Tables overturned, baskets of fruit scattered, and the air filled with the angry shouts of villagers. This wasn't a organized enemy, just a furious, uncoordinated mob.

Zoro was already a blur of green, dodging flailing arms and legs, his hands instinctively going for his swords, but holding back, clearly not wanting to cut down civilians. Luffy, surprisingly, was having trouble, overwhelmed by the sheer number of angry hands grabbing at him, pulling his rubber body in every direction. He wasn't fighting back with full force, merely trying to escape the human tide.

Nami shrieked as someone tried to snatch her bag, retaliating with a well-aimed kick that sent her attacker sprawling. Sanji was a whirlwind of kicks, protecting Nami and Robin, but visibly holding back, his precision strikes aimed at disabling, not injuring. Chopper, in Brain Point, was frantically trying to administer first aid to accidentally injured villagers while dodging clumsy swings. Usopp was firing pop greens, creating clouds of smoke to disorient the crowd, his usual bravado replaced by genuine panic. Even Brook was struggling, his cane-sword parrying blows, but the sheer chaos of the unarmed, enraged villagers made it difficult to fight without causing serious harm.

The Straw Hats, used to fighting hardened criminals and powerful marines, were struggling. This wasn't a battle; it was a riot. They were holding back, trying not to hurt these innocent, albeit furious, people, and that hesitation was costing them. Punches landed, kicks connected, and the sheer weight of the mob began to push them back, deeper into the narrow, winding streets of the island town. The gentle sounds of the market were replaced by shouts, screams, and the dull thud of bodies. And in the midst of it all, you stood, a quiet observer as the world around you dissolved into chaos, the familiar scent of blood beginning to prick at your senses.

They weren't winning. They were losing. The sheer force of the furious villagers, fueled by indignation and misunderstanding, was overwhelming. Luffy, usually invincible, was being dragged through a fish stall, momentarily tangled in a net. Zoro, still holding back, found himself pinned against a wall, his swords sheathed, his brow furrowed in frustration as he tried to disarm rather than wound. Nami was pushed into a fruit cart, scattering apples and oranges everywhere, her weather egg useless against a mob.

And you? You just froze.

The sounds of the riot, the shouts, the thuds, began to warp, twisting into the familiar cacophony of another time. The smell of fresh blood, now mingling with the scent of spilled produce, brought it all rushing back. Your brother’s face, pale and streaked with dirt and blood, swam before your eyes. The gurgle in his throat. The final, desperate plea. "Promise me… promise me you'll stop. Stop this… this bloodshed. Live, little sister. Live for peace." The memory was a physical weight, pressing down on your chest, stealing your breath. Your hands, the ones that had cradled his dying form, felt cold, clammy, and useless.

You were vaguely aware of the chaos around you, a swirling vortex of anger and fear, but it was distant, muffled by the roaring in your ears. Your gaze was fixed on nothing, seeing everything. The way the light caught a splash of blood on the cobblestones, mirroring the dark stain on his shirt. The panicked look in Chopper’s eyes as he was shoved, reminding you of the fear in your brother's before it faded. The sheer, overwhelming helplessness of that night, replicated here, now.

"Y/N! What are you doing?!"

The shout pierced through the fog of your memories, a sharp, insistent demand. It was Usopp, his face streaked with dirt, his nose a little crooked from a glancing blow. He was struggling, pinned against a wall by a burly fisherman, but his eyes, wide with fear and exasperation, were fixed on you.

"Even if you're weak, Y/N, now is not the time to freeze and not do anything! Just do something! Anything! Throw a punch, trip someone, scream!" His voice cracked with a mixture of fear and genuine frustration. He probably meant it to snap you out of it, to shake you into action, but his words, especially "weak," struck a raw nerve, twisting the knife in the wound of your past.

The world tilted. Your brother’s dying words echoed, demanding peace, demanding an end to violence. But then, the faces of your crew flashed before you—Luffy, struggling to stand, Zoro grimacing in pain, Nami yelling in distress. Their faces, trusting and desperate.

The promise you made to your departed brother, a sacred vow etched in blood and tears, warred with the silent, desperate plea of your found family. To fight, or not to fight? To embrace the killer within for their sake, or to honor the peace you had so painstakingly built? The choice was agonizing, a chasm opening beneath your feet, demanding you leap one way or the other. You stood there, trembling, caught between a sacred past and a terrifying present.

You couldn't let anyone die. Not again. The thought, cold and sharp, sliced through the fog of memory, shattering the chains of your promise. The terrified look on Usopp’s face, the strained grunts of Zoro, the desperate shouts of Nami—they were alive, right now, and they were in danger. The ghost of your brother’s fading breath was overridden by the visceral need to protect.

Something deep within you snapped.

The world around you, once muffled and distant, sharpened into brutal focus. Every angry face, every flailing limb, every shouted threat became a target, a problem to be solved. The tremor in your hands vanished, replaced by a terrifying steadiness. The gentle, peaceful persona you had meticulously built over years disintegrated, revealing the chilling efficiency beneath.

Your first move was instinctual, a blur of motion. A burly man, still grappling with Usopp, suddenly gasped, his eyes wide with shock as he was effortlessly lifted and then sent sprawling with a single, precise strike to his midsection. He landed with a sickening thud, unconscious before he hit the ground. You didn’t even look at him.

You moved like a predator, a silent, deadly force. There was no hesitation, no wasted motion. Your fists became weapons, each strike delivered with devastating power. A flurry of blows, so fast they were almost invisible, connected with a group trying to overwhelm Sanji. There was the sharp crack of bone, the sudden collapse of bodies, a choked gasp here, a pained groan there. You weren't just fighting; you were destroying.

A man lunged at Chopper, a heavy wooden club raised. Before he could bring it down, you were there. Your hand shot out, catching his wrist with an iron grip. There was a faint pop as something dislocated, and then, with a terrifyingly casual twist, you spun him around, using his momentum to slam him headfirst into a nearby fruit stand. The stand splintered, fruit exploding on impact, and the man slumped, unmoving amidst the wreckage.

Your movements were fluid, graceful, yet utterly brutal. Each punch was designed to incapacitate, each kick to shatter. There was no anger on your face, no fear, no relief—just a chilling devoidness of emotion. Your eyes, once soft and empathetic, were now flat, vacant pools, reflecting the chaos without absorbing it. You moved through the mob like a reaper, a terrifying force of nature. The sounds of the villagers’ shouts began to turn to whimpers, then to silence, as those who hadn't fallen scrambled away in terror.

The Straw Hats, moments ago struggling, slowly began to realize the shift. Luffy, finally free, stared, his rubber limbs frozen mid-stretch. Zoro’s eyes, usually so sharp, widened in a mixture of awe and something akin to fear. Sanji, usually so quick to defend you, now watched, mouth agape, as you effortlessly dispatched three men with a rapid succession of strikes that were almost too fast to follow. Nami clutched her head, her face pale, as she saw a woman go down with a single, precise strike to the temple, utterly silent. Chopper whimpered, burying his face in Usopp's side, while Usopp himself stood paralyzed, his earlier taunts dying in his throat. Even Robin’s serene expression cracked, a flicker of something unreadable passing through her eyes as she witnessed the cold, efficient savagery you unleashed.

You were hovered in blood, not your own, but the splashes and smears from those you had incapacitated. Your clothes were untidy, your hair a little disheveled, but there was not a drop of sweat on your brow, not a hint of exertion in your posture. You stood amidst the broken bodies and scattered debris, the quiet returning to the square, save for the distant cries of a few fleeing villagers.

The Straw Hats stared at you, their breathing ragged, their own fights now over. The air was thick with the scent of fear, and a new, unsettling aura. You were still their Y/N, the quiet, kind crewmate. But now, they had seen the shadow, the terrifying truth of the killer who had laid dormant. And it was scary.

The square was eerily silent now, save for the distant sounds of alarmed shouts from those villagers who had retreated, too terrified to approach. Some lay groaning on the ground, others were utterly still. They looked at you, the figure now covered in the blood of their family, friends, their eyes wide with unadulterated horror. You were no longer the quiet, unassuming visitor. You were a nightmare made manifest.

It was in this chilling tableau that the Straw Hats saw you commit the final, grotesque act that solidified their terror. A lone villager, bolder or perhaps more desperate than the rest, had stumbled out from behind an overturned stall, a small, desperate cry on his lips. In his hand was a transponder snail, already open, its receiver crackling to life, no doubt attempting to summon help. You turned, a slow, deliberate movement, your eyes locking onto the small device. There was no rage, no malice, just an almost detached calculation.

Before anyone could react, you moved. With a frighteningly swift and precise motion, your hand shot out, not towards the man, but towards the snail. Your fingers closed around the device, crushing it with a sickening crunch. The small receiver let out a final, distorted squeal before dying. Then, with the same casual ease, you brought your fist down, the now-shattered pieces of the transponder snail still embedded in your knuckles, directly onto the man's temple. It was a single, clean strike. He crumpled, unconscious, a faint smear of blood blossoming on the cobblestones. The act was so quick, so devoid of emotion, that it was utterly chilling.

That was the moment the Straw Hats knew. This wasn't just a fight. This was something else entirely. Luffy, his face pale, was the first to murmur, "Run."

Just as you took another step towards a cowering figure huddled behind a well, Zoro moved. He was there in an instant, his hand clamping around your arm, his grip surprisingly gentle yet firm. "That's enough, Y/N," he rasped, his voice low, a mix of warning and something akin to a desperate plea. He didn't ask, he didn't question. He simply pulled you away from your soon-to-be victim, guiding you with an almost desperate urgency.

"Everyone! To the Sunny!" Nami shrieked, already turning and sprinting back the way they came.

The rest of the crew didn't need to be told twice. Luffy, shaking himself from his stupor, bounded ahead. Sanji scooped up a still-dazed Chopper, sprinting after him. Usopp, his earlier fear replaced by a new, profound terror, scrambled after them, Brook hot on his heels. Robin, her eyes still on you, moved with a quiet, efficient speed, her expression unreadable.

You offered no resistance as Zoro pulled you. Your movements were still fluid, your body coiled, but you allowed him to guide you, your eyes still distant, unfocused on the fleeing forms of the villagers, or even on the worried glances of your crew. You were a weapon sheathed, but the terrifying capability still hummed beneath the surface.

As you ran through the stunned silence of the town, the image of your bloody knuckles, the shattered snail, and the unconscious man echoed in the minds of the Straw Hats. They had always thought they knew you. But now, as they fled with the living ghost of a killer in their midst, they knew they had been terribly, terribly wrong.

The dash back to the Sunny was a blur of ragged breaths and pounding feet. The salty sea air, usually so invigorating, now felt heavy, thick with unspoken questions. As the first of the crew scrambled aboard, Franky emerged from the lower deck, grease smeared on his face, a wrench in hand.

"You guys are back early, what—" he began, his booming voice cutting off abruptly as his eyes swept over the group. His gaze snagged on Luffy's slightly bruised face, Usopp's trembling hands, Nami's wide, fearful eyes, and then, finally, landed on you.

You stood on the deck, a silent, stark figure, drenched in blood that wasn’t your own. Streaks of crimson marred your clothes, flecked your hair, even stained the skin of your face and hands. It was a visceral, horrifying sight. Franky’s jaw dropped, the wrench clattering to the deck with a metallic clang. "Holy—" he managed, his voice barely a whisper.

Before anyone else could react, Zoro’s arm was around you, a firm, almost possessive grip that guided you aboard. He didn't say a word, just steered you towards the grass deck, the softest spot on the ship, and gently, but firmly, put you somewhere to sit. You offered no resistance, your body moving with a strange, disconnected compliance.

You were dull. Zoned out. Your eyes, still wide and empty, stared blankly at the railing, seeing nothing. Your mind was not there, lost in some terrifying echo of the past, or perhaps, simply numb.

Chopper was the first to approach, his small hooves padding softly on the deck. "Y-Y/N?" he whispered, his voice trembling. He held out a clean cloth, but you didn't react. It was Nami who gently took the cloth from him and, with a sigh that was more tremor than breath, began to clean you up. She started with your hands, wiping away the dark, sticky residue, her movements slow and deliberate, as if unsure of how much pressure to apply.

Sanji, for once, was silent, hovering nearby, his usual boisterous energy replaced by a profound unease. He watched Nami, then you, a cigarette dangling unlit from his lips. Luffy, having finally caught his breath, plopped down beside you, cross-legged, his usual boisterousness completely absent. He tried a shaky, forced smile. "Hey, Y/N... d-did you see that guy fly when Usopp hit him with a Pop Green? He went, like, whoosh!" His attempt at a joke fell flat, the silence on the deck stretching, thick with unspoken questions and profound worry.

Usopp, still a little pale, tried too. "Y-yeah! And remember when I tripped that big guy? Classic! You know, I'm pretty sure I heard him say 'owwie'!" He even forced a nervous chuckle, but his eyes darted to you, then to the blood-stained deck, then quickly away.

Robin sat a little distance away, observing, her gaze unblinking. She didn't speak, but her posture, usually so relaxed, held a subtle tension. Brook stood beside her, his skull tilted, a silent, profound sorrow in his empty eye sockets. Franky, meanwhile, was still staring, his large hands clenching and unclenching.

No one dared to directly ask what had happened, not when faced with your utter unresponsiveness. They just hovered, their worry palpable, a heavy blanket descending upon the ship. You remained still, a statue carved from trauma, while the kind hands of your crew tried to wipe away the crimson evidence of the monster you had unleashed.

The quiet hum of the Sunny’s engines filled the tense silence, broken only by the gentle lapping of waves against the hull. Nami had finished cleaning your hands, but the blood on your clothes remained, a stark testament to the sudden, brutal shift in your demeanor. Your eyes were still distant, unfocused.

It was Robin who stepped in. She knelt beside you, her movements fluid and unhurried, her voice a soft, steady murmur that cut through the lingering shock. "Y/N," she began, her tone gentle, almost hypnotic. "You did what you had to do. You protected your crew." Her words were a balm, not an accusation. She understood the unspoken truth, the desperate need that had driven you. "It was a difficult situation. They were going to hurt us, weren't they?" A pause, allowing the words to sink in. "You ended the conflict swiftly. Efficiently." She reached out, her hand resting lightly on your shoulder, a gesture of quiet understanding. "You've been through a lot, Y/N. It was a rough fight. You should take a shower and get some rest."

You didn't speak, didn't make eye contact. You simply nodded, a slow, deliberate movement. Then, with a quiet sigh, you rose, your blood-stained clothes clinging to you, and turned towards the women's quarters, presumably to take a shower and find the rest Robin had suggested. The door clicked shut softly behind you, leaving the rest of the crew in a stunned, uncomfortable silence.

The moment the door closed, the dam broke.

"Holy crap," Usopp whispered, his voice trembling. He clapped a hand over his mouth, his face a sickly green. "Did you guys see her? That guy... the one with the snail... she just... she just..." He couldn't finish the sentence, a shiver wracking his body. "We don't kill people! Not like that! We just rough them up, maybe break a few bones, but innocents?! She just... she was like a demon!"

Luffy, unusually subdued, was sprawled on the deck, staring up at the mast. "She was strong," he murmured, almost to himself, a hint of awe in his voice, but also something else – a flicker of confusion. "Really strong."

Sanji finally lit his cigarette, taking a long, shaky drag. "She protected us, you idiots," he snapped, though his own voice lacked its usual fire. "They were going to hurt Nami-san and Robin-chan! Y/N did what was necessary." He exhaled a cloud of smoke, his eyes narrowed. "You saw how they were closing in. We were holding back too much."

"But... the way she did it," Chopper whispered, still clinging to Usopp. "Her eyes... they were empty. Like she wasn't even there."

Zoro, who had been quietly wiping blood from his own clothes, finally spoke, his voice low and gravelly. "She’s always been like that, I bet." Everyone turned to him. "Just saw it for the first time. The real Y/N." He met their gazes, his own steady. "She's not weak. Never was. And she didn't just hurt those guys. She ended them. Fast."

"That's what scares me, you moss-head!" Nami exclaimed, pacing agitatedly. "It was so... cold! We don't fight like that! We're pirates, not murderers of innocent people!"

"They weren't innocent the moment they started attacking us with murderous intent," Sanji retorted, though his defense felt a little hollow, even to him.

Robin, ever calm, finally added, "Y/N has always been a gentle soul. But as I said before, some books are written in a language only a few can understand. Perhaps we've only just begun to read this one." Her gaze lingered on the women's quarters door. There was concern in her eyes, yes, but also a profound, unsettling curiosity.

The air hung heavy with their fear, their concern, and the dawning realization that the quiet, gentle Y/N they knew held a terrifying, deadly secret. What did this mean for their crew? For her? The silence that followed was filled with unspoken questions, questions that, for now, had no answers.

Back in the women's quarters, the small, enclosed space felt oppressive. You stood before the sink, your reflection a distorted mess in the fogged mirror, the crimson smears on your clothes a shocking contrast to the pale fabric. Your fingers, still trembling slightly, fumbled with the buttons of your shirt, then the clasp of your trousers. Each piece of bloodied clothing fell to the floor in a silent heap, a grim testament to the violence you had just unleashed. The cool air on your skin was a stark reminder of the heat that had flared within you.

You stepped into the shower, the spray immediately hot against your skin. You watched, mesmerized, as the water sluiced over your body, carrying with it the red, swirling down the drain in a macabre dance. It was mesmerizing, and horrifying. With each streak of crimson that vanished, another image surfaced, sharp and unwelcome.

The water became the rain on your island, cold and relentless, washing away the blood of the fallen. You saw your brother, his eyes wide and fading, the dark stain on his chest spreading, mirroring the blood now swirling around your feet. You heard his gasping breath, the wet, desperate sound that haunted your every quiet moment. The cries of your island, the screams of the innocent, the metallic tang of fear and death in the air – it all came rushing back, not as distant memories, but as a visceral, present reality.

Your breath hitched. The walls of the shower seemed to close in, the steam thick and suffocating. You squeezed your eyes shut, but the images persisted, playing on the inside of your eyelids: the flash of steel, the desperate scramble, the way the light had caught the glint of a government soldier's bayonet. Your own hands, so small then, stained with a lifetime of violence that had started far too young.

A choked sob tore from your throat, raw and painful. You pressed your palms against the tiled wall, trying to steady yourself, but your legs felt like water. The sobs escalated, rattling through your chest, stealing your breath in ragged gasps. Your vision blurred with tears, the hot water scalding your skin unnoticed. You slid down the wall, collapsing onto the shower floor, curling into a tight ball.

"No… no…" you gasped, the words thin, reedy, lost in the roar of the water. Your chest tightened, a crushing weight making it impossible to draw air. You clawed at your throat, desperate for a breath that wouldn't come. Your body trembled uncontrollably, wracked by the force of the panic attack, a culmination of years of suppressed trauma finally breaking free. The peace you had built around yourself, the quiet, gentle facade, shattered, leaving only the terrified, broken girl who had seen too much, fought too hard, and made a promise she couldn't keep. The blood continued to wash off, but the indelible stains on your soul remained.

The porcelain gleamed, reflecting the harsh fluorescent light of the shower stall. With a raw, guttural cry, you punched the wall, the impact jarring your already trembling body. The dull thud echoed in the small space, a physical manifestation of the turmoil raging within. Sliding down the tiled wall, you collapsed onto the cold, wet floor, your hand pressed hard against your heart, as if to physically contain the frantic drumbeat against your ribs. You broke the promise to your brother—you… you broke it. The words, unspoken, screamed in your mind, each syllable a fresh wound. The image of his fading eyes burned behind your own, accusing and sorrowful.

Sometime later, the sobs subsided, leaving you emotionally hollowed out. Your skin was pruned from the long shower, the water now cold. You mechanically dried yourself, pulling on the softest, most comfortable clothes you owned, careful to avoid the bloodied pile on the floor. Every movement felt heavy, labored.

You left the shower room, the soft glow of the hallway lights a welcome, gentle contrast to the harshness of the shower stall. The ship was quiet, the crew’s earlier agitated voices having faded into hushed murmurs. You didn't stop to listen, didn't want to. Your only goal was the familiar sanctuary of your bed.

You slipped into your bunk, the mattress yielding softly beneath your weight. Staring up at the wooden ceiling, you lay perfectly still, your mind a churning maelstrom of thoughts. The ceiling boards, usually a comforting pattern, seemed to shift and blur, each plank a record of your fractured past. The weight of your broken promise pressed down on you, heavy and inescapable. You had chosen your crew, chosen to fight, but the cost felt astronomical. The killer, buried deep for so long, had clawed its way back to the surface. And now, you didn't know how to put it back.

Sleep, when it finally came, offered no refuge. It was a descent into the very hell you had so desperately tried to outrun. The darkness behind your eyelids coalesced, morphing into the familiar, agonizing scene. You were there again, on the war-torn streets of your island, the cacophony of battle a deafening roar. In your arms, impossibly heavy, lay your brother. His blood, so much of it, seeped into your clothes, warm and terrifying. His eyes, once bright with youthful dreams, were clouded, fixed on you with an unbearable sadness.

"You promised, little sister," he rasped, his voice a ghost of its former strength, yet piercingly clear in the nightmare. "You promised to stop the bloodshed."

His grip on your hand, so weak in reality, was impossibly strong now, holding you captive in your guilt. The light in his eyes flickered, dimming with each word, each accusation. "You brought the monster back, didn't you? The one you buried. The one that craved… violence." His chest hitched, a terrible, wet sound. "Look at what you've done. You're a killer, Y/N. A killer."

Your throat was raw, but no sound escaped. You wanted to beg, to explain, to plead for his understanding. You wanted to tell him it was for them, for your new family, but the words were choked by a wave of suffocating shame. His face, so young, so full of innocent trust, twisted in pain, not from his wounds, but from your betrayal.

"How could you?" he whispered, his voice fading now, barely a breath. "After everything… after I died for peace… you brought the war back into your hands. You're horrible, Y/N. You broke your promise. You broke me."

His eyes closed, and his hand went limp in yours. The life drained from him, leaving behind only the cold, heavy weight of your failure. The battlefield around you seemed to mock your grief, the sounds of distant gunshots morphing into the rhythmic thud of your own heart, beating a frantic tattoo against your ribs.

You awoke with a gasp, bolting upright in your bunk, your body drenched in a cold sweat. Your heart hammered against your ribs, a frantic bird trapped in a cage. The silence of the women's quarters was a jarring contrast to the phantom screams of your nightmare. Disoriented, you blinked, trying to orient yourself, your mind still caught in the agonizing loop of accusation and regret. Through the small porthole, the morning light shone, a stark, unwelcome brightness against the darkness of your shattered sleep. The nightmare was over, but its chilling message lingered, a fresh wound in your already tormented soul.

The lingering chill of the nightmare clung to you, a cold skin you couldn't shed. The morning light, usually a gentle comfort, felt harsh, exposing the raw edges of your turmoil. Every muscle ached with the tension of your restless sleep, and your throat felt tight, still raw from the phantom cries. Yet, the rumble in your stomach was undeniable, a grounding reminder of mundane needs.

Pushing back the covers, you swung your legs over the side of the bunk. The floor felt cool beneath your feet. You dressed quickly, pulling on clean, simple clothes that felt like a uniform against the chaos of your mind. As you stepped out of the women's quarters, the familiar scent of Sanji’s cooking drifted from the kitchen – eggs, bacon, fresh bread – a comforting aroma that warred with the acrid memory of blood and panic.

You could hear them, the hushed, tired tones of the morning Straw Hats. The usual boisterous energy was muted, replaced by a quiet somberness. Still, Luffy's voice eventually rang out, though even his usual exuberance was softened, a little less joyful than normal. He was probably already demanding extra portions.

With each step towards the kitchen, the weight in your chest seemed to grow. You knew what awaited you – the questions in their eyes, the unspoken fear. The knowledge of what they had seen, what you had done, settled like a cold stone in your gut.

You finally made it to the kitchen doorway, stepping into the warm, inviting space. The clatter of plates, the soft murmur of voices, all of it went silent the moment they saw you. Every head turned. Luffy stopped mid-chew, a piece of bacon dangling from his mouth. Usopp swallowed hard. Nami’s hand paused on her teacup. Chopper looked up from his plate, his wide, innocent eyes filled with an unreadable mixture of concern and apprehension. Zoro, who had been leaning against the counter, simply watched you, his gaze steady, perceptive.

You didn't meet their eyes. The silence was deafening, thicker than any fog. You moved to your usual spot at the long table, the simple act of sitting down feeling like an immense effort. You could feel their gazes on you, a collective apprehension that prickled at your skin. Your own emotions were a tangled mess – a profound weariness, a deep shame, and a chilling sense of isolation.

The quiet stretched, taut and uncomfortable, until Sanji broke it. He approached you, his footsteps unusually soft, a plate piled high with a perfect omelet, crispy bacon, and golden toast in his hands. His usual flourish was subdued, his voice a gentle murmur as he placed the plate before you. "Bonjour, ma petite fleur," he said, his French endearment and the familiar cute pet name offered in a quieter, almost hesitant tone than usual. "Eat up. You'll need your strength." He didn't linger, just gave a small, concerned nod before returning to the stove, leaving you with the comforting scent of food and the still heavy weight of their silence.

The fork felt heavy in your hand, each movement a deliberate act. You brought a small piece of omelet to your mouth, the flavor surprisingly muted on your tongue. The silence in the kitchen was thick, almost suffocating, broken only by the faint clinking of cutlery from other crew members who, like you, had resumed eating with an almost desperate normalcy.

Then, Luffy broke it. His voice, usually so full of boundless cheer, was uncharacteristically quiet, yet utterly blunt. He wasn't looking at you, but staring at his own plate, as if the words were too heavy to deliver while meeting your gaze.

"Y/N," he began, and your heart hitched. "Yesterday… you were so strong. Really, really strong. But you always said you wouldn't fight. You refused to touch a weapon. So… why is that? Why now?"

The question hung in the air, raw and personal. You could feel Nami stiffen beside you, ready to intervene. "Luffy!" she hissed, a sharp reprimand in her tone, but before she could launch into a full scolding, you spoke.

Your voice was raspy, a little shaky from disuse and the lingering emotional strain, but it was clear enough to halt Nami. You didn't look up, instead focusing on the swirling patterns in your half-eaten omelet.

"I made a promise," you began, the words tasting like ash in your mouth. "A long time ago. To my brother." You paused, the image of his dying face flashing behind your eyes. "He was hurt. Shot. We were losing. Our island… it was a war. I was just a kid, but I fought. I was… good at it. Too good." A shiver ran through you, a cold memory. "He made me promise to stop. To never fight again. To live for peace." You finally lifted your gaze, meeting the stunned, silent faces of your crew. Your eyes, still tired, held a profound weariness. "Yesterday… I broke it."

Utter silence descended upon the kitchen, heavier and more profound than before. Luffy’s half-chewed bacon fell from his mouth unnoticed. Nami’s hand hovered, forgotten, above her teacup. Every eye in the room was fixed on you, the silence stretching taut, filled with the echo of your confession. They were processing your words, the pieces of the puzzle clicking into place. Now, it all made sense. How you acted before—the flinching from blood, the refusal of weapons, the quiet retreats—it was all a desperate shield, a fragile barrier against a terrifying past.

You, however, just continued to eat, picking at your omelet with a practiced calm that belied the turmoil within. Your gaze, however, was drawn inevitably to your hands, resting on the table. Your knuckles were raw, abraded, and still a little swollen from punching people, a stark visual testament to the violence you had unleashed.

"So… that's why," Chopper whispered, his voice small, filled with a heartbreaking understanding. "You were afraid of being that person again."

Usopp, who had been nervously picking at his bread, finally dropped it. "You… you fought in a war? When you were a kid?" His voice was laced with a new kind of respect, tinged with horror. "That's… that's insane."

Sanji, for once, didn't snap. He simply sighed, running a hand through his hair. "A promise made to a dying brother… that's a heavy burden, Y/N-chan." His voice was soft, laced with a rare tenderness. "No wonder you never touched a weapon."

Luffy, surprisingly, was the first to break through the somber atmosphere with a more characteristic declaration, though his usual boundless cheer was still tempered by gravity. "But you chose us, didn't you, Y/N?" He grinned, a wide, hopeful smile that somehow cut through the tension. "You broke your promise for us! That means we're important to you, right?"

Nami, ever the pragmatist, but with genuine worry creasing her brow, added, "It must have been so hard for you to do that, Y/N. To go back on something so personal." She paused, then glanced at your knuckles. "Are you… are you okay now?"

Zoro, who had remained silent, watching you intently, finally pushed himself off the counter. He walked over and clapped a heavy hand on your shoulder, a rare gesture of comfort from the taciturn swordsman. "Don't look like that," he grunted, his voice gruff but not unkind. "You did what was necessary. We're your crew. We fight for each other. No apologies needed."

You didn't respond to their words, just kept your eyes on your battered hands. The weight of their understanding, the absence of judgment, was almost as overwhelming as the nightmare itself. They saw you, truly saw you, for the first time. And in their faces, you saw not fear, but a complex tapestry of concern, empathy, and a new, deeper respect. The silence now was different; it was filled with acceptance.

The rest of breakfast continued in a strangely comforting silence. The tension had eased, replaced by a shared understanding. No one pressed you further, allowing you to eat your fill in peace. You could still feel their glances, but now they were laced with curiosity and a newfound respect, not fear.

When you finished, you quietly gathered your plate and fork, washing them meticulously at the sink. The simple, domestic act was a small anchor in the storm of your emotions. Without a word, you then headed out onto the deck, needing the open air, the vast expanse of the sea.

A Day of Quiet Understanding

The sun was high when you stepped out, casting a warm glow across the Thousand Sunny. The crew, in their various states of morning routine, seemed to gravitate towards you, their interactions subtle yet significant, each revealing a deeper layer of their acceptance.

Luffy was the first to bounce over, a wide, excited grin now firmly back on his face. "Hey, Y/N! You were amazing yesterday! Super strong! I didn't know you could do that!" He flexed his arm. "Your punches were even stronger than mine, probably!" His honesty was disarming, devoid of any lingering fear. You just offered a small, tired smile in return.

Zoro approached you later, while you were leaning against the railing, staring out at the waves. He didn't say much, just leaned beside you, mirroring your pose. "So," he grunted, "you just held all that back, huh? Impressive." He then gave you a rare, almost imperceptible nod of approval. "Guess we were wrong about you preferring to stay on the sidelines." His words, for Zoro, were a profound compliment.

Nami found you by the ship's helm. She touched your arm gently. "I'm sorry, Y/N. For not understanding." Her voice was soft, laced with genuine remorse. "It must have been incredibly difficult to carry that burden all these years. And for us to just... not see it." She squeezed your arm. "You don't have to explain anything else. Just know we're here for you."

Later, while you were helping Chopper organize his medical supplies, he looked up at you, his eyes wide and earnest. "Y/N, you're not scary! You were protecting us. Like a doctor protects patients! It was just… very powerful." He then added shyly, "If you ever… need to talk about it, I'm here."

Usopp, still a little shaken but trying to act tough, approached you with a hesitant smile. "Y-Y/N! So, uh, I heard... I mean, I saw you take down that guy with the snail! That was... that was like something out of one of my stories! But, uh, way more real." He scratched the back of his head. "I guess I was wrong about you being more scared than me, huh? You're actually, like, super brave for holding back all that power."

As you helped Sanji chop vegetables for lunch, he kept glancing at you, a new thoughtfulness in his movements. "To live with that kind of strength, and choose peace… that takes a different kind of power, Y/N-chan," he murmured, his voice uncharacteristically reflective. "It must have been excruciating yesterday. You did well."

Even though he wasn't there, Franky had obviously heard the full story. He found you near the mast, inspecting a repaired sail. "So, Y/N!" he boomed, a wide, enthusiastic grin on his face. "Even though I wasn't there, I heard you went SUPER yesterday! Taking down all those guys with just your fists! That's gotta be one of the most manly things I've ever heard! We were totally wrong thinking you just stayed out of fights 'cause you didn't know how!" His usual boisterousness was a welcome return to normalcy, devoid of any judgment.

Later in the afternoon, Robin joined you in the library, a quiet presence by your side. She simply smiled, a knowing, gentle expression. "The truth always reveals itself, Y/N. And it is rarely as simple as it first appears. It seems your past has a depth none of us truly appreciated." She didn't press for details, just offered her silent, unwavering acceptance.

As evening approached, Brook approached you on the deck, his signature "Yohohoho!" a little softer than usual. "Y/N-san, to carry such a burden, such skill, and choose not to wield it… that is truly admirable. Though, I must admit, I was quite surprised to see such ferocity from someone so serene. It simply goes to show, one should never judge a book by its cover, or a lady by her lack of fighting, yohohoho!"

By the time the stars began to pepper the darkening sky, a sense of quiet calm had settled over you. The raw edges of your panic attack had softened, replaced by a profound weariness, but also, surprisingly, a hint of peace. They understood. They didn't fear you. And for the first time in a very long time, the heavy weight of your secret felt a little lighter.

[junebuggiezz]

Staring ain't enough! ✦ Jax (TADC)

𖦹—*Rubs hands together like a fly* You already KNOW!!

Gender neutral || Can be platonic or romantic || Censored/Uncensored swearing || Reader has no mentioned features

“Oh, my god... What am I looking at?” You bite your lip to prevent your laughter from spilling out, but the shakiness of your voice doesn’t fail to make Jax squint at you in anger. Pomni sits on his left as she kicks her legs in the air, obviously looking away to avoid any part of the conversation.

There on the bench he sat, dawned in a maid outfit with black slip-on shoes, knee-length white socks, white gloves— Is that a chest window!?

“Yeah yeah yeah, I’m in a maid outfit, look to your heart's content.” Jax then notices your eyes peer up and widen. He realizes what you were looking at and covers the window with his hand. “WELL DON’T LOOK AT THAT!” He yells out angrily. “Can’t even give a guy some decorum! You’re such a degenerate!”

You place the palm of your hand near your cheek. “Oh-ho-ho, no! If this is what I voted for while I was on the field then this may as well be my prize,” You walk over towards the bench and sit on his right side, your eyes not leaving his form, “It’s not everyday you get an outfit change afterall.”

“We literally had four other places where our outfits changed and THIS is the one you decide to fully focus on?”

“Mhm!” You nod. You continue to look at the window without shame, giggling to the point your cheeks started to flush. Jax’s lip tightens and pupils slowly shrink into squares as you continue poking fun at his misfortune. He had the mind to shrink you into a softball and toss you into the sun.

You lean back to wipe the tear that was forming in your eye and look up to the sky with playful longing. “I really wish I had a camera right now—”

“No.”

“—Specifcally a polaroid—”

“NO!”

The voting table pops up and the two of you look down at it; Besides Jax and Pomni, everyone approved whatever request had been placed. To the dismay of the purple rabbit, you were suddenly given a shiny new polaroid camera right in the palm of your hand. The face you made could be comparable to the Devil himself. You’re off the bench in a blur and suddenly in front of him with the camera covering half your face.

“Smile!” You happily laugh before he’s hit with a flash of white. He yelps, blinking his eyelids before covering his face.

“Augh, jeez— Put your [@!$#] toy away!”

SNAP!

“[NAME]!”

SNAP! 

“STOP TAKING PHOTOS OF ME!”

SNAP!

“FOR [%$!#]’s SAKE—C’MERE!” He leaps off the bench with his arms outstretched. His attempt at grabbing you fails as you dodge to the side and begin running towards the end of the benching area. Pomni watches from the sideline as you’re chased for a bit before Kinger stops Jax, telling him it was his turn to bat.

(ᐢ. ₓ .ᐢ)

Walking back into your room after the suggestion adventures, you sadly toss out the polaroid camera that Jax had slapped out of your hand and stomped into mangled oblivion. You walk towards your bed, turn your back to it, and flop onto its soft covers, allowing you to stare at the ceiling for a while. Once you’ve processed the events of today, your mind suddenly clicks again to Jax’s maid outfit fiasco. Your cheeks flush as your chuckling turns to laughter.

You dig into the space in your outfit and pull out the polaroids that had processed by the end of it. A few of the photos were a bit smeared from Jax attempting to launch at you, but the rest were as clear as day—especially of the window.

Your door is suddenly swung open.

Jax’s gloved palm is curled tightly on the door knob, his figure hunched over, and his face flushed pink in the middle. You can see his teeth sneer as he stares you down from the opening, even more so when he locks his eyes onto the photos in your hands. You’re about to question how he got in when you see a key placed in his other tightly-fisted hand.

Well it’s not like you didn’t see this coming at some point.

You laugh tauntingly albeit with a hint of fear, waving the photos in the air. “You’re still not upset about the photos I have of you, right? I can always toss ‘em in the trash if that’ll make you feel better.” You smirk.

Jax’s laugh is anything but nice. He is seething. 

“Oh-ho-ho, no… I don’t trust you in doing that sort of thing, especially when I leave this room.” He takes a few steps into your room, kicks the door closed with his foot, and locks the door without turning away from you. “SO! We’re gonna settle this one way or another,”

Your smile wobbles slightly and you feel sweat begin to form on your forehead.

He smiles angrily and his left eye squints. “‘Cause I’m not leaving this room without those photos.” 

Well shit…

𖦹—Thank you Gooseworx for feeding us Jaxlings

[bluewxrld07]

We Can't Be Friends - Insta AU

Charles Leclerc X ex!Reader

Summary: The iconic couple, Y/N L/N and Charles Leclerc, break up after five years of being together. Y/N releases a new song soon after the tabloids have released the information of their breakup, causing lots of controversy about where they both stand post their calling quits.

Warning(s): angst, hinting at heartbreak (Ariana Grande as our face claim)

A/N: idk about a pt 2 yet, we shall see

TMZ just posted a photo!

TMZ : Get your tissues ready, folks, because this is gonna break your hearts!

Famous Singer/Actress Y/N L/N and Ferrari F1 Driver, Charles Leclerc, have called it quits after almost five years of dating! Sources say it was a mutual breakup, but both parties have come clean about the breakup, stating they both very much will remain friends, but they're both at different parts in their lives. 🥺

After the pair had met through mutual friends, Lando Norris and Max Fewtrell, the pair had easily become inseparable, moving quickly into their relationship just weeks after meeting.

How're we feeling about this news? 👀👀

load more comments

user I'm actually ugly crying rn, THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED YALL 😭😭😭😭😭😭

user This has to be some April Fool's joke, right..... RIGHT??!

user I no longer believe in love after this because wtf 🥲

user NO WHAT NOT MOM AND DAD😰😰😰

user Nobody talk to me I'm breaking at the seams 😩🤧

*ONE MONTH LATER*

ynln has just posted a photo!

liked by yourbff, theweeknd, charlesleclerc and 15m others

ynln : I didn't think you'd understand me

load more comments

user MOTHER RETURNS AND THE CROWD IS..... In a corner??! They're crying?!

user Oh no, I can't deal with the breakup music, my heart hurts 🤕

user I ALREADY KNOW THIS IS ABOUT CHARLES I CANT OK😢😢😭

user Someone needs to pay for my therapy😟

user New music incoming, I'm sobbing🙃🙃

yourbff Babygirl it's just me and you 🩵

*liked by ynln*

tatemcrae This brought me to absolute tears 🥺

user I just know I won't be sleeping for weeks after this comes out

ynln just posted a photo!

liked by charlesleclerc, yourbff, lando, maxfewtrell, and 17m others

ynln : So, for now, it's only me

load more comments

user I can sense this mv is gonna fuck me up yall

user This song is gonna hurt isn't it???

user I'm afraid so, my friend

maxfewtrell I'm so reviewing this on my Twitch when it releases. We will cry together chat

ynln I'll bring tissues

maxfewtrell I'll need towels at this point🤕

user Not Max being her biggest fan lmfao

lando Ugly crying I already know🤧🤧🤧

yourbff I'll wait for your love🩵

*liked by ynln*

user Nooooo pls tell me that's just her bestie saying it to say it😩😩😩😩😭

user It's a lyric, I'm pretty sure, we're all gonna hurt on this one.🥲

ynln just posted a photo!

liked by lando, yourbff, maxfewtrell, charlesleclerc, dualipa and 27m others

ynln : we can't be friends (wait for your love) out now on all platforms🩵 I love you all

load more comments

user I'M CRYING YALL GOODBYE 😰😐

user NAH because it's the way most of the scenes in there were things her and Charles did together I CAN'T 😟

user I had to pause and walk away from the MV because she literally is saying she wants to erase their mems together because it hurts too much I--😰

lando Can I say I'm crying rn

ynln This is a safe space

lando Good because you may need to pay for my therapy😮‍💨😭

ynln You're fine

lando NO

user It's the way the necklace she pleads to keep is literally the one Charles gave her on their one year, you guys, I fear I'm not okay rn🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️

yourbff Proud of you, this is my most favorite song you've ever written tbh🥹🩵😭😭

ynln Even the one I wrote for you?

yourbff That one is in its own category thank you

user The way she is saying she can't be friends with C anymore because all she wants is his love. Y'ALL THIS IS TOO MUCH 🫩

user Screaming, crying, throwing up, breaking dishes, flipping the couch

maxfewtrell This made me so emotional, damn you

ynln I can see that on your stream

maxfewtrell I'm flicking you off now

*liked by ynln*

user y'all it's the fact he's actually flicking her off on stream lmfao

user and I quote "Fuck you for making me feel like I'm going through the breakup, dammit" - maxfewtrell twitch stream

charlesleclerc 🧸 🩵

user NO NO NO CHARLES STOP IT

Charlesleclerc just posted a photo!

liked by lando, maxverstappen, lewishamilton, ynln, and 21m others

charlesleclerc : I'll wait for your love 🩵

comments disabled

[sagistrology]

𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲,

𝐩𝐭 𝐈𝐕

𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓 @𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲

disclaimer: unless mentioned, my interpretations draw from the tropical zodiac. birth times may vary.

𓆩♡𓆪 anya taylor-joy and her husband's taurus placements, both in their composite and natal charts, were depicted perfectly by their wedding cake. two anatomically accurate hearts that bled, merging pleasure (taste) and devotion.

composite moon and venus in taurus, his natal venus in taurus tropical, her natal venus in taurus sidereal. in a recent interview she described her husband as someone who ''provides a soil that's really nutritious and safe'', encouraging her to ''grow in the most unexpected and beautiful ways.'' anya's natal mercury is in taurus.

𓆩♡𓆪 sabrina carpenter's please please please and good graces touch on the taurean warning and bliss when entering a connection. you get exactly what you're told, fixed energy.

𓆩♡𓆪 asteroid 'hylonome' 10370 esp in synastry can show where and how someone sacrifices in relation to the other. for context, hylonome's husband cyllarus fell in battle which devastated her. unable to cope with her loss, she chose to die with him by the same spear.

resemblance to romeo and juliet, her representing the tragedy and ultimate form of devotion, driving her to annihilate herself. both synastry and composite charts can hint at those dynamics.

𓆩♡𓆪 planets in the seventh house and planets aspecting the seventh tend to be discovered in connection. due to the seventh being opposite the ascendant, we often don't 'identify' with planets in that house unless there's something happening externally. it's you experiencing yourself through others, by relating.

𓆩♡𓆪 also, people often try to cover the contradiction of the seventh by enacting its extreme opposite. take libra ascendants suppressing their intensity (aries) and appearing passive-aggressive. 'revealing' the seventh comes with social consequences - here intensity, strength, being seen as an opponent. imo it's fearing its magnitude, hence the suppression. when denied continuously, these buried attributes, for libra ascendants, may result in rage, assertion, being reactive, accusatory, or losing their composure when hurt or threatened.

𓆩♡𓆪 empty houses as well as planets that aren't aspected tend to express themselves in a quite archetypal way.

𓆩♡𓆪 for cancer ascendants jupiter is coming out of the twelfth, thus it's not so much about pondering or conceptualizing anymore, but experiencing jupiterian themes. you draw from the twelfth, but you don't inhabit it. with the first there's an entry, an initiation or impulse. the impulse (jupiter) is seeking to be embodied (first house).

jupiter in the first may bring a focus on indulgence, expressing intuition, giving form to the emotional and watching sprouts come to light. there's an emphasis on higher learning, travel, faith, art, health, beauty, and creation that caters to you.

𝜗𝜚 latest post // masterlist // q&a

[nightscythe]

primarchs and their unbalanced love

adapted this request slightly so it wasn't just a sentence and focused more on them. if this didn't meet what you wanted anon, please let me know!

pre-heresy, tw on curze/alpharius for yandere like behaviour // your relationship with the primarch would always be unbalanced because you're just a human. you reach your breaking point and end things.

lion: you’d noticed the looks, sat quietly as another questioned why you were there and the lion chose to glare rather than defend you, seeing it pointless to explain – it had been luther who told you to run far away and never look back, promising that staying within reach of the primarch would never end well for you. he’s stood upon the allure of the fortress, staring down at the people who praised him. loved him, even, seeing the primarch as a saviour to all they knew. though he was never blind to the criticism of the people when it came to him, especially when it’s voiced so clearly to him. he scans the crowd, slowly, taking every face in until he finds you; watching him already, expression numbed, eyes dull, the hint of your soul already faded. he recalls the last words you said to him as your hands clasped gently over his, the universe was not made for our two souls to be together. he’d grabbed your wrist, tried to stop you from walking away from him, but he never got the chance to tell you. then i will strip the universe bare until it allows us to be. instead you saw anger, rage, a vengeance you knew he was capable of, but he never allowed you to see before. his final words were a promise, leave now, before i remind you why the universe wouldn’t allow us to be together. this was his punishment, your eyes finding his whenever he left the four walls he knew you could never enter, a constant reminder of what he never had.

fulgrim: you’d ignored it at first, what some people were willing to do for the primarch, how they’d have killed for him, to be with him, or even just to hear his voice in person – and one person can only overhear so many discussions on how people plan to kill them before they decide a change is needed, even if it hurts more than anything. the seat at the head of his table felt shameful. all eyes on him, wanting, requiring more from him than he was willing to give. he hadn’t looked up from the embroidered and lace-trimmed placemat that his fingers played with in minutes, avoiding the conversation around him. there weren’t many things that could bring him to silence, let alone people. yet you had managed that. likewise, you’d managed to do the impossible and capture the heart of a man made to never have feelings. when he finally looks up from the placemat, eyes darker than before, the room falls to a sharp silence. the only person he can find the strength to look at is you. across the room from him, dressed in the colours he told you looked perfect, though every other part of you was concealed from him. your eyes never leave the floor, even as the silence continues. of course i’m afraid, you had told him when he approached you, cowering from his larger frame. the image was burned into his mind, torturing him each hour. i would protect you from everything, he reassured you, there is not a thing on this earth that could harm you whilst i still live. he can still feel the way your hand slipped out of his as you turned your back to him. from your father? you had asked, voice hollow, from yourself? fulgrim never answered. the room eventually starts to speak again as fulgrim looks back down to the placemat. only then do you dare to look back at him. 

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perty: it was never that you didn’t trust him, but you knew he would never believe that – you’d learnt of what he had done to those who failed him, asked him one too many questions and seen the side of him that everyone had feared but you hadn’t yet seen. he believed he’d ensured that you were erased from every record related to him. believed he’d never see your face again, never hear your voice, embrace your smile, or enjoy your laughter filling the halls. weeks had passed without any part of your presence, and he believed he needed it, yet every step he took his soul felt lonelier than before. he’d thought he’d heard your voice a few times, chased the sound down empty hallways to find nothing but the ghosts of his memories. he believed today was no different when he heard your call from one of the rooms; one which sounded so real it stopped him in his tracks. he waited, listened, wanted to hear more – a wish which was fulfilled within seconds and has him tracking down the source. he almost stumbles through the doorway where the sound is loudest, catching himself on the stone frame but still garnering your attention. you don’t speak, not even as the woman opposite to you bows and offers her apologies. but the longer your gaze is locked, the more his nostrils flare, the tighter his jaw tenses. leave, he tells you, coldly, lest i remind you how quickly i can have you removed for good. you only nod, slowly, stepping back from him quietly and dragging your eyes down to the ground. he waits, watches, hears your voice tell him how you felt unsure of your place within these walls. when you look up to him one last time, he feels the snarl at the back of his throat. if you did not feel safe then, why would you feel safe now? he questions. why would you trust me now? 

khan: you’d watched men die, seen how expendable life was with your own eyes, and seen how quickly he had moved past it, leaving only one thought on your mind – that you must have been just as expendable as everyone else he stood over. the hardest part of all was accepting it. he sat with a handful of his sons around, none daring to look at their primarch who had scarcely looked beyond the spot right in front of him for the past two days. all he did was think. about this, about him, about you. it could never go beyond that though, he never was able to find peace in his own thoughts nor in the conversation with others. but you had come on your own volition, hearing of the primarch’s unusual silence amongst other gossip from the crowds, and when he saw you in front of him, slowly coming to rest on your knees, it was the first time he found the right words to say out loud. you’re wrong about everything, he says, not giving you a moment to speak. you nod, once, though you do not speak. he fills the space between you with more necessary words. i would not make a promise so lightly if i did not know it could be fulfilled. but i assure you, with everything i could offer, that your life will never be in danger so long as i live. your silence is excruciating, the throbbing in his body getting quicker and quicker as he waits for your answer. but it never seems to come. but if you cannot trust me that i will make true on my promise, then i shall not ask anymore of you, but to remember how deeply i cared for you.  

leman: he had tried his best to keep you separate, despite the loyalty his sons offered and how deep their bond went – but when you’d started to understand why he was called the executioner, why his legion was known to be so deadly, and when you discovered everything he had been responsible in the name of his father, you realised that you would never have been spared. his body ached. he’d thrown himself into any situation he could, begged that the all father would bless him with something that could knock him out cold and give him some breathing room for just a few moments. every single one of his thoughts was about the same thing. doubt. of himself, of his capabilities, of anything he had ever considered a strength. each time raised his weapon and bared his teeth, your words took over his mind. you will never be enough. his mind falls silent to what you had actually told him. you do not have it in you to stand up to your loyalties over a mere human. you could not betray everything you know, everything you stand for, just because they disagree with me, or do not want me, or think i am unworthy. he didn’t want you to be right about it. and as he stood there, broke another man’s bones without even thinking, he realised he still couldn’t argue against you. the thump of a body hitting the ground forces him to tear his sight back to reality, focus shifting from the cheers around him, to the man laying before him, to your eyes at the back of the room, never looking away. you would never be unworthy, he’d told you before, a sentiment still felt, i wouldn’t care what anyone said about you, it is only me who gets to decide if you are worthy to be at my side. you’d smiled softly then, just as you are now. only until someone tells you i can’t be. 

dorn: you had gotten used to all his quirks, you’d grown to love it over time, and it was nothing in particular that had pushed you to your limit other than time – when you looked at him one day, you allowed yourself to wonder for too long what it might look like if he stopped loving you, and there was no space at his side for you. it took him longer than usual to process your words. far too long, in fact, because by the time he’d looked up to you, you were already walking away, your bow in his direction and a mumbled apology lost within his conscious thoughts. he watches you walk away from him, only taking a few steps towards you when you near the end of the long room, but freezing immediately when you turn back to him, only looking over your shoulder. you should know that i will always love you, you tell him, sigh leaving your lips as you turn to face the exiting doors once more. you take a step, slower than before, and that’s when he decides to finally speak. i will try harder, he promises, moving towards you again, whatever you need from me, say the word, i will do it. because i… he stops, both his words and his movements. you turn back to him again, this time fully, lips gapped and eyes clouded. his jaw tenses for just a moment as he finds the words, knowing already that they weren’t enough. i would do anything for you, to consolidate the love i have for you. won’t you let me have that chance? you shake your head slowly; you’ve already told him it was out of his control. won’t you at least let me try? he asks again. it wouldn’t have mattered, even if you did. not many things in the world made him feel powerless, other than you. 

curze: there was always whispers of what he was capable of, always a forgotten story of what he had done before, and you’d still fallen into his charm with open arms – realising soon that the real enemy within was the legion he had also grown to hate, but that didn’t mean you were able to leave . the room was cold, dark. everything he loved to have, especially seeing as you’re sat on the floor in the corner, wide eyes watching him with your knees pulled into your chest. he can’t help the way a grin creeps back onto his face as he approaches. did you miss me? he asks, gently, stopping only a foot or so away from you. he crouches down to your level, reaching out a hand to trace over your own. he sighs, content as you don’t pull away from him this time. i thought of you every moment. i wondered if you were thinking of me too. he leans forward, face closer to yours, hand reaching for your chin when you try to look away. i made a promise to you, my little dove. do you recall? he waits, though never expects an answer. not when your lips are quivering, body shaking. he only smiles, reaching around to drape his cloak over you as if it was the cold causing your reaction. i promised you that i would make this work. that you would never need to leave me, that you did not need to fear for anyone near me any longer. and where are we now? another silence falls between you. one enjoyed, revered. you’re with me, and you’re safe from any harm. he’d chosen to ignore himself in that equation, though. 

sanguinius: despite his sweetness, how he touched you as though you were the softest feather, you knew what followed behind him – when you became a target as well and realised that your life was in danger unless you were always at his side, you knew it had reached its limit. it never mattered that he’d commanded armies, that he’d survived impossible feats, that he was beloved by the imperium and treasured by all as the great angel that was impossibly perfect in all ways. something inside of him had broken, snapped clean in two as the weight of every emotion fell to him at once, overwhelming him beyond anything else he had felt. don’t walk away, he called, halting your steps with the tone of his voice alone. you turned, slowly, faced by his figure that approached you far quicker that you could ever run. is my love not enough for you? do you desire more? every part of me is yours already, yet you still choose to leave me? his voice shakes, words falling rather than being spoken. he drops to his knees before you, never reaching for you, yet begging with eyes that were bloodshot and shattered. i could protect you from anything this universe has to offer, he affirms to you, hands clasped together, i would stand before anything in existence that posed you harm, but that is not enough. he feels the corners of his eyes prick with a feeling unknown, and only then does he reach for your hand and bring it to his cheek, his own hand placed over your own. tell me what more i must do to prove to you that this isn’t a mistake. 

ferrus: his obsession with perfection had sat with you for far too long – you were human, weak, easily killed and willed away, so you knew that one day he’d turn you into something he considered stronger, better, even if he didn’t realise what he was doing. he’d found himself alone far more often since you’d gone. sometimes when he reached for tools on his bench, he expected to feel you instead, sometimes he’d hear the door open and look expectedly as if you were the one walking through the door. though it never was you; not your hand reaching for his when he was trying to do something else, not your cheerful greeting as you approached him. your missed presence was something he understood, but with each day that passed he only wanted to isolate himself more from others too. it all reminded him of you. especially those words that tormented him the most. i am just another weakness that will need correcting. he slams down his hammer harder than before, the sound running your voice straight out of his head. he could have told you that you weren’t a weakness. he could have denied it entirely, but he knew it would be a lie. others could perceive you as such, others would look upon the human at their primarch’s side and wonder why. instead, all he told you was that he wouldn’t correct you, not when he saw nothing for him to change. he let you go, let you walk out of the last space where you felt any safety around him, without telling you what he truly felt. you were already perfect, he speaks to no one, unable to find the strength to continue his work, i never wanted to change a thing about you. though he knew at the bottom of his heart that he may have needed to. 

angron: his mind fracturing wasn’t something you had no awareness of, and you believed that somewhere along the way you had been able to help – but the time he had killed another in front of you was the turning point, even if you claimed it was the whole legion. he had seen the way you always approached corners with caution, how you kept your voice quiet, how seeing you when doors were locked from the outside world was entirely different to having you stand amongst a crowd of people who claimed their support for him. it was his naivety or arrogance that led to ignorance each time, opting to let it pass without issue or never ask what caused it. not until you’d told him, quiet with him for the first time since he knew you, avoiding eye contact and hiding yourself when he drew near, that it was all too much for you. it could never happen, he tells you, pleading as he approaches you, i would never allow a soul here to touch you, to even look at you without welcome. he didn’t understand it fully still, how you believed such harm could come from those around him. or perhaps he did now, and again it was ignorance in the way. what is worse is that you did not come to me about this before, that you waited until the very end to speak a word of your worries and gave me no time to fix them. he sighs, still intent on changing your mind, ready to wage a war in your name if he had to. as he approaches you, reaches his hand towards your shoulder, he notices the way you flinch away. his brows furrow, eyes drifting to his hand before falling on you again. he didn’t understand, because he never realised the extent of it all. it is not just them, he speaks quieter than before, realisation a slow but heavy hit, you find reason to fear me, too.

rob: it wasn’t a quick realisation, but something that built with time; he was never committed, despite what he claimed to feel, and he never reciprocated past your hidden meetings away from the world he lived the rest of the day. he wasn’t mindful of how long had passed since he’d made his way outside to feel… something. he wasn’t sure what he needed, but staring at screens and seeing your reflection, sitting in thrones and wondering if you would approach him, it wasn’t helping. he remembered the last time you stood beside him, watching the stars quietly, you both enjoying company more than anything. but in a moment he wished to declare something forbidden in the eyes of many, you’d looked up to him with the most delicate of smiles and carried their views. this cannot continue, you’d whispered, softly, echoing the thoughts that had first crossed his mind, if i could make a wish for anything, it would be for this, for us, but… he’d reached for your hand before you could continue, noticed the way your eyes became glassy. let me make that wish come true, he’d offered, as sincere as he could be, it will not be easy, but i will make things as they need to be to ensure that this does not need to end. your privacy, your safety, it will be kept through every moment, i can ensure you as much. your smile began to fade as you answered, i don’t wish to be hidden, not at your detriment. he wishes he’d have tried harder, stopped you from walking away, or just confessed to you that this was more than just affection. it was never a detriment, not for someone i love. perhaps you’d hear his unspoken words when you looked at the stars, too. 

morty: he’d never changed, and you had loved it for him once, until you understood that mercy had never been something he wanted to offer, nor would learn to – and it reminded you that he was someone to be feared. he’s stood in a doorway watching you. hasn’t moved in minutes, maybe longer, never letting his eyes go further than just past where you’re sitting. if he moved, if he spoke, if he dared to even breathe every part of him would shatter in the reality that you had brought to him. no asking, no talking, just the simple words that he trusted you to never say to him, because you’d always promised him that he was enough. please try to understand, you say gently, eliciting nothing more than a scowl in response, i’m worried, i feel fear just treading the ground around you, afraid someone may take it the wrong way or see me in a different way to how you see me. he looks down from your eyes for merely a second, just long enough for everything inside to crumble. do you not think that’s selfish? he doesn’t move closer, doesn’t try to approach you. do you not think that you could have tried harder, just for me? his chest burns as you look away from him sorrowfully, but unlike him, you never look back. it never ceases to amaze me how similar all you humans are. he still doesn’t turn, even as his words turn sour. do you not think i worry too? i see your vulnerability, i consider it with every decision i make, every step i take, and you still wouldn’t believe that was enough. his laugh is bitter, a frail cover for the emptiness within, something only you had been able to fill, and seal away by a promise he wasn’t sure he could keep. go, but know that if i ever see you again, you will be treated no differently than everyone else, then you will truly know fear.  

magnus: you knew of his power, understood what he was capable of, never once feared for your life around him – but the whispers in your dreams telling you to move on only became louder, and so did the vision of your death at his hands. the only room he can sit in without memories beginning to haunt him is one you never touched. a small room that had been filled with old books and relics, now cleared so he could sit inside and feel freedom for five minutes of the day. your absence caused him more pain that he could admit to, let alone handle, but he had forced himself to leave you to the peace you wanted in the hopes that maybe you’d understand what it was like without him. his allocated five minutes of freedom are over before he hopes and he’s forced back into the emptiness that the rest of tizca brought him. as he walks the halls, he replays fragments of your words to him. i do trust you, beyond anything, but this is far bigger than just you or i. he’d contemplated the consequences of giving everything up. you could not prevent fate, even if you wished to. but he would always try. love was never meant to exist between us. those words stop him completely. his hands are curled into fists at his side, breathing deepening to the point where he can barely feel reality around him. he doesn’t have time to realise what’s changed, not until he can feel you with him, presence alluring as he feels your discontent, your sadness, filling every crack of time and space between you both. he’s not there, not physically, but he sees you turn to him as though you know he’s there. let me try to make it work between us, he asks, quietly, never expecting a return. it never could work, you answer, we were not made for each other. 

horus: of course there was talks about it, you’d heard of the intention to make him warmaster the second it had reached prying ears – and it was in that moment, you realised you could never stay with him. the feeling didn’t sit right with him, not when he knew you were right there yet entirely untouchable to him. he could bring planets to heel, he could crusade in the name of his father, but he couldn’t convince you that love was enough. it had sat on his mind for days as he tried to come up with a speech to change your mind, have you fall to your knees and accept him like he always wanted. the speech never came, the opportunity to approach you never manifested, not until he saw you speaking with a face he didn’t recognise within the grand hall one evening. weeks of stewed emotions and feelings seem to hit him at once as he approached you, ending your conversation as another person bowed to him. i don’t know how to change things, he tells you, honestly, eyes never leaving your own despite how they dart around the room. if i couldn’t convince you then, i won’t be able to convince you now. but that doesn’t change how deeply my love burns for you. he doesn’t care if others heard, but he knows you do. so tell me how i can make this work. what do you need from me?  you can’t answer him immediately, swallowing hard and breaths quick. you open your lips just a little, then shut them once more, looking down to the ground. he knows your answer; you’ve told him before. i need you to not be you.  

lorgar: you had been warned by many, knowing the threat you posed to their regime, knowing that you had taken the primarch’s attention away from what should truly matter – and revenge was promised. he believed this was his punishment. he had let his devotion slip and focused his attentions elsewhere, and his reward was replaced with a love that could never be returned. he kneels at an altar as his eyes fall shut. immediately he’s tormented by the ghost of your hands on his skin, pressing over his shoulder, skimming his chest; or your lips pressed softly against his neck. then he hears the echoes of a whisper, what was left of your presence in his world. i could never love another as much as i love you. his lips curl at each word. he’d replay it a thousand times over and over, never to be sick of the sound. but then it falls eerily silent, his mind pushed to another time he had tried so hard to hide. you cannot love me, you’d told him, words cutting through any remainer of the faith he held, not in the way that i love you, not in the way that anyone could love you. he opens his eyes, darkness of the room around him a greeting he wished never came. but your words don’t stop. your life has never been decided by you. he can feel how you sat in his lap and whispered it to him. i was never to be part of your life. i’ve become a variable that they cannot control. if i stay… you had never finished, but he knew. he’d watched you walk away, he’d reached out his hand to stop you but never called. was it better this way? he asks, call to the void ignored by all around him. do you truly believe love is only dictated to me? his world may have been controlled by others, but what he felt for you. 

vulkan: an offhanded comment was made, not by the astartes, not even by anyone close to the primarch, but a serf who was yet to know their place – and though it should mean nothing, the mention of your humanity is a harsh reminder of how separate your worlds were. the silence looming through the room was unnatural. if anyone had entered his private chamber, they’d have known he was mourning; not someone lost, but something gone. quietude was a welcomed guest around him for some time, the only break offered being a forced schedule or something he wished to not attend. but he knew his duties were not to be missed. do not think for a second i doubted you, he recalled you telling him, stood no more than a few feet from where he now sat. your love is true and i know that, but i also know that you are more than i could ever be. he hated how all he did was listen. how he agreed; how he let you walk away from him with little more than a kiss to the back of his hand and a request of a promise for him to try to understand. he did, somewhere beyond the depths of his emotions, but he also knew that to him, you were everything. you would never see that though. you would never have believed him when he told you that he would make sure your authority matched his, that no one would ever stand up to you or question your place. in every other lifetime we’d have found each other, he’d spoken quietly the last time he felt your warmth, i’d have given all of those away to have a chance to be with you in this one. 

corvus: you’d first noticed the way his attention seemed to always divert to you, but the moment you watched him make a mistake because of you, it was obvious your time at his side was limited. at first he was worried you’d be able to feel his presence. he wondered whether you’d see him in the corner of your eyes, hear his footsteps you knew so well, understand that your shadow wasn’t the only thing that had been following you this whole time. he shouldn’t be here, he should have given you the space you wanted and left you to what you had chosen, but the temptation was far too high for him to ignore it. whether you were doing the simplest tasks or something he chose to pay no attention to, he wanted to see it. he wanted you. and he truly thought he had gotten away with it, that his cover in the darkness of night and shadows was enough to keep him hidden away, prevent you from noticing the fear that lurked beyond. but as he turned into the alley where you had walked only moments ago, it was your smaller frame that stopped him with a hand held up to his chest. this only proves my point, you say to him, glare harsher than he expected, this is what i was afraid of. he only reaches for your hand to take it off him, chest already filled with anticipation and regret. i promised you your safety, he tries to tell you, his excuse meaningless. it was never that which you cared about. you were caught off-guard by a mere human in pursuit of me. the longer i’m around, the more of a danger you are to yourself. he never said you were wrong. he just didn’t want to admit you were right. 

alpharius: you’d found the collection of information that the alpha legion had on you, and believed there was no way you could ever live your normal life again – but you hadn’t stopped to consider if it really was the legion you were at risk of. watches you closely, head tilted slightly to the side. your happiness has faded, he can see it in the way you carry yourself so rigidly, tensing whenever anyone comes near. he sees the way your eyes scan the room like you’re waiting for something to surprise you; someone to be there that you were trying to desperately to avoid. he feels the smile falling onto his lips as he begins to approach, cautiously, truly believing that his surprise would be welcomed. as the room fell silent, you froze, and the grin that manifested on his lips only grew. are you okay, my love? he asks, hand on your back, tensed under his touch. you didn’t look to him, but he could feel all your attention on him already. i must applaud you on how convincing this all was. i did truly think that you had left. no one would dare question him, no matter how much fear was in your eyes. when you told me you were leaving, i’ll admit i was worried. but that i remembered that everything you said to me, how you were worried of what my father would do, or what my legion may say, or what my brothers might have done to you… it was all wrong. he reaches for your cheek, turning you to face him. his thumb ghosts your skin. he hums gently as he breathes in. it was an interesting way to test me, i will give you that much. perhaps not even a test of my loyalty, but this connection between us. i just wonder, my love, when did you realise that the only person you needed to fear was me?

i am getting on top of requests i promise, i've been very distracted with both catching pokemon and the nameless king, whose love i have rediscovered through nightreign, but the corvus fic is almost done ^^

[kurogane2512]

Been craving Ningguang recently so yeah, a little idea I have had in my head for a long time. The idea came to me from the Liyue Interlude quest (Beisht fight), and the recent anthology event made me needy for Ning screentime so I decided to combine them :)

18+ CONTENT

Game: Genshin Impact

Characters: Ningguang x fem!reader (Traveller)

Type: Fluff and Smut (kinda long fic, fingering, scissoring, strap usage etc)

Liyue Harbor bustled beneath the afternoon sun, its golden roofs gleaming like fire-kissed coins, and its stone streets alive with the rhythm of daily trade. Merchants called out prices in melodic chants, fishermen hauled in glistening nets, and children darted between stalls, their laughter threading through the market’s hum. As you passed, heads turned— some with wide eyes, others with hushed words passed behind fans or sleeves. They knew who you were, of course— the Hero of Liyue. You’d grown used to the attention, meeting their gazes with faint nods, waves of hand and polite smiles.

However, your destination was clear today. You weren't here for a stroll or any festival; today, you were summoned by the Tianquan herself. A rare occurence in the time you had acquainted her. The memories spent with her were still fresh in your mind— moments of cooperation, assistance, and something far more..... intimate nestled quietly between all the diplomacy and danger.

Nights spent in her chambers blurred in memory— silken sheets tangled around restless limbs, low murmurs exchanged beneath the hush of lantern light, and the warmth of her breath trailing softly against your skin. She pulled you close with slow, deliberate intention, each movement a quiet surrender of control, unraveling only when your hands found her. In those moments, titles and duty faded away, leaving only the steady rhythm of her heart pressed against yours.

A gust of wind stirred your thoughts, pulling you from the warmth of memory back to the present. The bustle of Liyue Harbor faded beneath as you stepped on the lift to ascend to the Jade Chamber. The weight of past and present mingled inside you— anticipation, resolve, and something more fragile, waiting to be reclaimed among the clouds. Once on the platform, you were greeted by her secretaries who suggested you to have some refreshments first— a strange gesture considering you thought Ningguang would want to meet you as soon as possible.

"Oh, is she busy? The letter said she wanted to discuss something important."

The secretaries looked at each with guilty looks then Baishi gave a firm nod and looked back at you with a smile.

"She's waiting for you."

You became suspicious but nodded and entered the abode, walking towards her office. The walls welcomed you with familiar stillness— polished stone floors gleaming beneath golden light, silken banners swaying gently with the altitude’s breeze, intricate artifacts and jewels placed majestically. Once you reached the open office, your eyes widened at the unexpected sight.

Ningguang was seated on the side, with none other than Baizhu beside her who appeared to be checking her pulse. Your steps halted at the doorway but the creak of the floor made Ningguang's gaze dart in your direction, her crimson eyes gleaming for a moment before a soft smile graced her face.

"Oh, you have an.... impeccable timing, Traveller~"

Baizhu glanced at you and gave a nod of greeting before turning his attention towards Ningguang. You walked in further and stood near them, wanting to hear his diagnosis.

"Your cold was caused by the physical and mental strain you've been under lately, I fear. Such things are more common with the changing of the seasons." he stated.

Something uncomfortable pulsed inside you at his words, your eyes focusing on Ningguang with a hint of concern. However, she responded with a rather.... indifferent tone.

"Just prescribe some more medicine for me, if you would. I'll have someone pick it up in a few days."

Baizhu sighed, "As you say. However... while colds can be cured with medication, overexertion could cause it to recur."

Ningguang chuckled, "Thank you for the advice, Dr. Baizhu, but I cannot simply ignore the affairs of state. Alleviating the symptoms through your prescriptions should suffice for now."

Another exhale from Baizhu, "I will write up some more nourishing dietary prescriptions. Please, take things slow, and avoid weakening your body too much."

She nodded with her usual graceful smile. Baizhu swiftly wrote her a prescription and handed to her, "Here's the prescription. Please make sure you get enough rest, Lady Tianquan."

"Thank you, Doctor. I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

Baizhu was then escorted out by Baishi, leaving you and Ningguang alone in the still office. She then stood up with a sigh and walked towards her desk.

"I can see you have questions. Well, just know I had little sleep last night then caught a cold due to a chill draft. Nothing worth concerning."

You raised an eyebrow then walked closer to her desk.

"That's not concerning?"

She softly chuckled, "You have seen people in far worse conditions, haven't you, Y/n?~"

"That doesn't excuse this."

She shrugged, "Don't worry your mind over this. There are always more pressing matters to attend to— like the one I summoned you for. Please, have a seat."

You let out a sigh then sat on the chair across her.

"First of all, thank you for accepting my request so promptly. I heard you were in Natlan these days, it must have been quite a tiresome journey to come from there."

"I have my ways of transportation, it is quite efficient and easy."

She smiled, "Of course, you would. Well, I won't take much of your time. I called you here for assistance in an important matter." she paused then procured a document from her desk's drawer, placing it in front of you.

"You see, after the battles with Osial and Beisht, the Qixing delved into analysing various aspects of the methods used in the battles to fight the disaster. Of course, we improved drastically with Beisht, but there is always room for more. Eventually, we all came to the conclusion to strengthen our defense forces— not just the Millelith, but more. That file contains the reports of the analyses we did, you can go through it later."

"I see, so how do you plan to strengthen your defense forces?"

"Well, we faced a truth most of the Qixing wre too stubborn to admit. If you remember, during both battles, we severely lacked.... sea power. The Crux Fleet was a temporary aid, an emergency measure at most during crises like that, but we need a permanent and consistent solution. Hence, we sanctioned to form a navy division in the Millelith. This information was made public 3 months ago and since then we have held trials to recruit soldiers."

She paused, procuring another file from the drawer.

"This one contains details of the selected candidates. Now, this is where you come in. I will be upfront that we don't have capable mentors when it comes to this, and it won't reflect good on our integrity to hire pirates to train an army. I asked for aid from Fontaine who were ready to send over an advisor, but we still lack an... anchor— someone to steady the recruits, to keep them grounded when uncertainty sets in. They need more than strategy and drills; they need someone who has stood at the heart of chaos and not faltered."

Your eyes widened in surprise, not expecting this to be the topic she wanted to discuss. She sensed your surprise and smiled more, leaning forward on the desk with an unwavering look.

"You’ve led armies without wearing their banners, faced gods and monsters and still walked back with your head high. Fought creatures that shook the skies, quelled gods, and stood between entire nations and ruin. That kind of presence can't be taught. You know what it means to make choices with the world watching, to lead not just by command, but by conviction."

Her voice softened, the sharp edge of her usual formality giving way to something more personal, "When fear sets in, they'll need someone to look to. Someone who won't waver. And when I considered who that could be— who I would trust to hold the line, to carry not just the burden of leadership but the hearts of those beneath it— your name was the only one that came to mind."

She paused, gaze lingering on yours just a moment too long. "Not just because of what you can do, but because of who you are. And because I trust you more than anyone else."

There it was, that look. The one just shy of a smile, eyes half-lidded in that knowing, quiet confidence that always managed to pull an answer from your chest before your mind could catch up. The look that had swayed entire negotiations, and yet somehow felt crafted just for you. It wasn’t fair. She knew how to control your heart far too well.

"I... w-well, I certainly wasn't expecting this...." you said with an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of your neck.

Ningguang responded with a soft chuckle and rested back on her chair, "I can understand it is a lot to ask of you, I'm aware you are very busy and this is a huge committment. But be assured, I won't keep you here for more than a month. Just long enough to set the foundation, to draft schedules and give a direction for a future leadership to take over."

Then, after a beat, she added with the faintest tilt of her head, "Though… if you chose to stay longer, I wouldn’t object."

A sudden flush came on your face that wasn't missed by her— never is. Her lips curling faintly as she leaned forward again, "In case you felt more time was required, is what I meant~"

Oh, this woman knew how to toy with you too well, even when she was asking for a serious favor.

"And...." she added, "As with all our transactions, I will suitably compensate you for your services." her head tilted with a smirk again, giving you that same look but with more.... intention.

Your heart skipped a beat again, staring at her and the documents before letting out a sigh.

"I can't really refuse you, Lady Ningguang. I accept, and you don't have to worry about the compensation. It is an honor for me to train Liyue's defenses."

A subtle flicker of surprise came and was quickly replaced by her confident smile, "You have my utmost gratitude. I hesitated quite a bit before making the decision to call for you. Hehe, isn't it strange? You always somehow make me falter my decisions~"

She chuckled in a velvety tone, draping one exposed leg over the other. She didn't miss the way your eyes glanced at it for a fraction of a second, smirking to herself.

"You can start anytime you want, and feel free to state your resource requirements. You will get everything promptly and in best quality. We have reserved Guili Planes and Yaoguang Shoal as training grounds, unless you suggest some other place then I will arrange it right away."

You nodded, "Those places are fine. And, I'll start from day after tomorrow. While it's true I have experience fighting in wars, I have only had ground, aerial and.... well, underwater battles. The advisor from Fontaine you mentioned, have them come?"

Ningguang nodded and stood up to circle around the desk, walking towards you.

"He will arrive tomorrow. Aditionally, I have also arranged for some merchant ship captains to lend a hand."

"I see. Then, is it possible to have Beidou if I ask for it?"

Ningguang raised an eyebrow, stopping right beside you and leaning against the table.

"It is.... possible, if you ask her as aid. Certainly far easier to persuade the other Qixing in this case. But tell me, do you really require her? I trust your abilities well enough."

You blushed for a moment then cleared your throat, "W-Well, she's the closest to having someone with considerable sea battle experience. She likely knows things even I dont. And.... her presence would actually assure everyone because she has a good reputation."

"Hmm...." Ningguang hummed with a tilt of her head, "Interesting. I wasn't aware...." she extended her hand to hold your chin and bent closer, "....that you two were so close~"

Your face flushed once again, not from her accusation but from her being so close.

"Tell me." she continued, leaning even closer to whisper in your ear, "What kind of adventures have you both had, hm? Voyages on the sea or perhaps.... something more?~"

Your breath almost hitched feeling her silvery voice brush your ear, "N-No, nothing like that. She has just.... h-helped me travel between Inazuma and Liyue a few times, and I helped her fleet with some errands in return...."

Ningguang chuckled, the voice ringing in your ear. A beat of silence followed, her right hand coming up to caress through your hair strands.

"Entertaining pirates now, Traveller? I wonder...." her hand trailed down to caress your cheek before fiddling with your collar, "....have you helped her rearrange her bedroom as well?~"

Well, your face was as red as a tomato now. You could easily deny her assumptions, yet no words came out. Ningguang could tell your flustered state rather easily and finally ceased her teasing, retracting her hand with a smile.

"I jest. You know I simply adore your reactions~"

She stood up straight and crossed her arms over her chest, "Anyways, your request to have Beidou will be granted. I leave it to you to discuss the strategy with her. Is there anything else you wish to say right now?"

Your heart finally calmed down and you pondered for a moment when suddenly a question came in your head, remembering the scene you saw earlier when you entered this office. But, you held back from voicing your thoughts.

"None at the moment. I will get back to you if there is something later."

"Certainly, I also expect regular progress reports from you. Nothing too tedious, it's only to keep records. You know how things work."

You nodded then stood up, ready to leave.

"Oh my, leaving so soon?" she asked in a husky tone.

"Uh, you must be having other work to do, right?"

She smiled and let out a sigh, "Work is neverending, your presence is rare. But indeed, unfortunately, I have another meeting soon. I'll be sure to invite you for dinner at a later date, I'm quite eager to hear more stories about your travels ever since the last time we met~"

You nodded with a smile and finally bid her farewell. You were marching to the way out of her office, but your mind couldn't stop insisting on that one thing. You had to satiate your worry. You stopped just when you reached the door, your hand suspended towards the handle before you abruptly turned around, finding her already seated at her table.

You noted her focused expression as she looked over documents, the way her hand moved to forge new contracts. You took a deep breath then walked back towards her. Ningguang sensed your approaching form and looked up with a confused yet intrigued gaze, tilting her head slightly as you came closer.

"Did you forget something, Traveller?"

Your breath was held, the words on the tip of your tongue.

"Are you... are you sure you are okay? Regarding what Baizhu said, you look tired.... Can I help in some manner?"

Ningguang was caught off-guard for a moment, though she masked it well with her composed smile. She could see the concern in your eyes, the genuine worry for her. She let out a soft hum and rested her face on her palm.

"Hmm, and in what way would you help?~"

"Uh... I could do some paperwork and...." you looked down and tried to think of more things. It was true there wasn't much you could do for someone in her position.

"W-Well, anything you feel I can do so you can rest."

She chuckled, a gentle smile forming on her face.

"I apprecite your concern, Traveller. Truth be told, having you do some paperwork is not a bad idea. However, all of it contains various crucial and confidential information about Liyue.... While you are my most trusted ally, I still have to take some precuations. I'm sure you can understand~"

You pursed your lips, having no point to counter.

"S-Still, there must be something I can do—"

"I have already given you your task, haven't I? I assure you, it is one of our higest priorities at the moment. If you do it within a reasonable time, you will be lifting off a great burden from my shoulders~"

Her eyes narrowed with a mischievous glint, the same look she'd give everytime to convince you into her schemes. You let out a sigh and nodded, "....I understand. Still, please don't hesitate to call for me if there is anything. And please take rest as Baizhu advised."

She smiled, "You have my gratitude. I'll take care of myself. I look forward to your performance in the upcoming days~"

Just like that, you returned to your teapot realm and started preparing for the training lessons, all the while Ningguang's wellbeing remained in the back of your mind. You hoped she took rest and didn't exert herself.

Two days later, you were at Guili Planes as planned, starting the first ever lesson. Beidou had been scheduled to come from next week since you wanted to get used to things yourself first alongside the Fontaine advisor. The recruits were top-notch, as you'd expect from the Qixing's rigorous selection methods. Some of the existing Millelith soldiers applied, stating different reasons, while some entirely commoners who simply wanted to contribute to Liyue's protection.

You had a good feeling everything would go well— except for the one thing nagging your head even now.

It was later in the afternoon when you noticed Ningguang came to observe the training, you didn't know how long she had been there. She stood under a tree and intently watched, merely giving a small smile once your eyes met. Eventually, you decided to give everyone a break and went to talk with her. The advisor accompanied you, stating he wanted to discuss some things with her.

"Good afternoon to you both, I suppose everything is going well judging by the enthusiasm of the recruits." Ningguang mused.

The advisor then went on to discuss some things he had observed and wished to implement to make the sessions more effective, asking for your input in between which you eagerly gave. The discussion dragged on for quite a bit and you happened to glance at Ningguang once, catching a glimpse of a sweat drop rolling down her temple followed by her blinking her eyes a few times as if in a daze.

Although, you were standing under a tree's shade, it wasn't uncommon to still feel the heat of Liyue's summer. And, knowing by long she had been here, at least from when you took note of her, it was understandable she'd start feeling tired. The advisor kept talking on and on, completely ignoring her state or the surroundings, you had come to understand he was rather zealous about his job.

Some moments later, you noticed Ningguang clenching her fists and looking down as if her eyes felt heavy. On instinct, you gently put your hand upon her back to straighten her, sending a surprising jolt in her as she regained her posture and focus. You were about to retract your hand when you realized she had leaned back on it, almost as if using it as a much-needed support.

"I'll include everything in the first report we send, Tianquan. Now, if you'll excuse me." he walked away after a courteous bow, leaving you alone with her.

You turned to face her and gently held her arms, "Are you okay? You look.... drained."

She let out a sigh and wiped the sweat from her forehead, "Just the weather.... Do you mind accompanying me to the Jade Chamber?"

An unexpected request with no explanation.

Not that you needed one when it came to assisting her. You agreed without a second thought and started walking with her towards the Jade Chamber, still not removing your hand from her back. She let out a soft chuckle but didn't say more, silently walking alongside you and using you for support. Although, going through the harbor this way would undoubtedly stir rumours, as if there weren't already plenty about you two, but you couldn't care less at the moment.

The walk till Yujing Terrace was silent, save for the occasional greetings from curious citizens which she politely responded to with no fault, still maintaining her elegant and refined composure in front of them. But you could notice her face turning paler, steps faltering a few times, yet desperately trying to hold herself together. Once you descended upon the Jade Chamber's ground, her knees gave out in defeat and you swiftly acted to catch her.

"Ningguang—?!" you couldn't help but gasp once you caught her.

She braced herself with one palm planting on the ground, the other lacing around you when you held her. Her lips trembled, vision blurring in front of her, crimson eyes struggling to stay focused. You could feel the strain in her arm as she clutched you— not for support, but for the illusion of control.

“I'm fine. I just…. need a moment.” she whispered, breathless, as if speaking alone might anchor her.

But her strength was slipping fast; her palm slid slightly against the stone floor, her balance swaying. Pride alone held her up now— pride, and the habit of never showing weakness. But you knew the truth, you had noticed the signs from the beginning, you cursed yourself for not acting sooner.

"No, you are not fine. I told you—"

Your plea was cut short when her stretched out arm gave away as well, your body moving to hold her before your mind registered the action. She slumped on you completely, breathing fastened. You gritted your teeth then scooped her up in your arms bridal style, wasting no more time to tend to her. She was light— too light for someone who carried so much on her shoulders.

"Don't.... make a scene...." she whispered before losing consciousness completely, her face cradling in your chest.

You furrowed your brows then swiftly moved towards the entrance. You carried her through the Jade Chamber’s inner halls, each step measured but quick, heart pounding in your ears. She had been everything to Liyue— untouchable, immovable, a legend in silk and stone. All eyes followed you as you passed, startled gasps from her secretaries as they trailed after you, voices laced with concern.

"Call Baizhu." you declared, voice sharp as steel. "Now!"

You didn't stop until you reached the ornate double doors of her private quarters. Baishi and Baixiao quickly opened the doors for you, keeping the path clear as you carried her inside and laid her on the soft, plush mattress. Baiwen had called for Baizhu, and you hoped he'd arrive soon.

Your eyes scanned all over her body, noting the way she was heaving and how burning her skin felt to touch. Gently, you brushed aside the stray strands of hair clinging to her damp brow, heart aching at how fragile she looked against the silk pillows that once held only poise and purpose.

“Ningguang….” you murmured, kneeling at her side.

You reached for the hand towel that lay folded on the bedside table, soaking it using your hydro powers and gently pressing it on her forehead. Her breath hitched faintly at the contact, but she didn’t stir.

"I told you not to overdo it...." you whispered, your own voice breaking.

She’d never listen, not when the entire weight of Liyue rested on her shoulders. Not when she refused to be anything but composed, even when her body was screaming for rest. You ran your fingers lightly down her temple, tracing the curve of her cheek. Her face, always so unreadable in the public eye, now softened into something defenseless.

You hated seeing her like this— but part of you also ached to see this vulnerable side of her, a side she only allowed you to see. You soaked the cloth again and placed it over her neck this time, watching for any signs of improvement. Her fever hadn’t worsened, at least. But still… it wasn’t enough. Then, fast approaching footsteps resounded from outside until the doors opened.

You turned your head sharply, relief loosening your spine just as Baizhu appeared in the doorway, Qiqi trailing dutifully behind. He let out a sigh then walked to your side, you moved back to give him space and observed as he bent down to examine her. Your hands clenched the cloth subconsciously, impatience growing in you to know his diagnosis.

"She was outside, at Guili Planes. I don't know exactly for how long, but certainly more than two hours." you narrated and he nodded in understanding.

"She's running a high fever, she hasn't recovered since two days ago." he stated. You knew that was the case, it always is.

"Will she—"

"She will be fine." your question was interrupted by him, knowing well what you wanted to ask.

"There's no sign of infection or internal damage, it's prolonged exhaustion. Every time she says she will take care of herself, yet...." he paused, "....This was bound to happen."

He reached into his equipment, taking out vials and herbs.

“I’ll need to keep her on herbal tonics for at least a few days, and she needs uninterrupted rest. No paperwork, no meetings, and certainly no walking across all of Liyue in heels. If she doesn’t slow down, this will only happen again— worse.”

Your heart clenched at that, hands tightening on the cloth.

"She'll recover." he reassured, sensing your worry. "And.... perhaps she'll listen if you are the one telling her to rest, Traveller~"

You almost blushed at that then sighed, "She didn't listen when I said it two days ago...."

Baizhu chuckled, "She will now."

Soon after, he finished his diagnosis and gave the secretaries a prescription for the medicines and the kind of food to feed her. Her secretaries then went to adjust her schedule and pick up on her work while you stayed by her side, not willing to leave until she'd look at you again. Fortunately, the wait wasn't long as the remedy from Baizhu took effect and she started stirring awake, squinting her eyes open. The first thing she laid eyes upon was your worried face, your body kneeled beside her as you patiently— or impatiently— waited.

"Ningguang....." you softly called out, lacing your hand with hers as she slowly regained consciousness.

"Y/n...." she murmured, voice hoarse, barely above a whisper. Her fingers curled weakly around yours in return, as if to make sure you were truly there.

"....I fainted, didn't I?" you merely nodded, her brows knitting in return.

She tried to sit up but her body betrayed her, shoulders trembling. You reached out and held her then gently pushed her to lay back down, "Don't move, Baizhu has strictly told you to rest."

She sighed, "I know, but you know very well I can't, don't you?~"

You narrowed your eyes, "At least rest until your fever goes down." you reached to touch her forehead with the back of your hand, "You are still very warm, you won't be productive this way."

She chuckled at your clever retort, "My, now you know how to speak my language, hm?~"

"I have to if I want you to understand~"

She smiled and nodded, accepting defeat, "Very well, until the fever goes down."

She tightened her hold around your hand, "Thank you, for taking care of me and saving my face in front of Liyue."

"I'm surprised how you even managed to keep yourself together through all that."

Her lips curled in a smirk, "Well, you saw right through me, didn't you?~"

"Only because I knew you were unwell from the start."

"That just means you were keeping your eyes on me then~"

You blushed and averted your gaze, "S-Sheesh, does the fever make you more playful than usual?"

She smirked more, releasing her hand from yours and extending it to grasp your jaw, gently tugging you closer.

"Oh, but you like it, don't you?~"

You blushed more, "Y-You are supposed to be resting—"

She silenced you by placing her lips on yours, soft yet firm. Your breath caught in your throat, any further protests dissolving against her warmth. When she pulled back, her face lingered close, her thumb still brushing lightly beneath your chin.

"You have a habit of doing this every time, don't you, Traveller?~" she whispered.

"W-What are you referring to?"

"You come to Liyue once, or twice, a year. Usually, it's for Lantern Rite or other important committment. Yet, every time we find ourselves entangled without any pre-planning. You show such love and concern for me, then expect me to bid you farewell all over again~"

Your eyes widened for a moment at her unexpected statement, you wondered if this was an effect of the fever.

"I.... I didn't mean to make you feel that way. Of course I'd care for you when I'm here, the partings are not easy for me either...."

She smiled and caressed your cheek, "I'm aware. I accepted it long ago you cannot stay, neither do I want you to stray from your path of looking for your sibling."

She then tugged you closer again, lips lingering over yours, "As long as you keep.... gracing me with your presence every now and then~"

You smiled and pecked her lips, "Perhaps we can make it into a contract? Put your clauses and I'll abide~"

Ningguang's eyes brightened, "Oh, such a.... quaint suggestion. You truly have started speaking my language~"

You chuckled together then sat in silence, simply gazing at each other while your hands remained bound.

"Tell me something, Ning...." you murmur, looking at your joined hands.

"Hm?" she hummed, "Speak freely, my dear."

"Since when have you been.... experiencing these effects? Has it been more consistent recently, or....?"

Her eyes softened, "You worry too much. I'm not the only one who falls sick due to exhaustion, you know?"

"I know but...." you trailed off, recalling Baizhu's words, "This will only happen again— worse"

You knew she won't slow down, not even from your continued requests. She couldn't afford slowing down.

Your brows knitted as you looked at her with a frustrated look, "We should find a more permanent solution. Let me take you to Sumeru, I'll request the Dendro Archon to cure you."

Ningguang's eyes widened in sheer surprise at your suggestion, she could tell you were serious, you would certainly do it if she agreed. She couldn't help the smile crawling up her face, until she broke out in laughter.

"N-Ningguang, this is serious—!" you protested, unable to believe that she was outright laughing at you.

"Oh, I'm well aware. You aren't the type of person to make such.... creative suggestions if you weren't serious~"

"Then—"

"I refuse." she cut you off, "You know I cannot leave Liyue."

You gritted your teeth, "Surely you can take some days off? The Qixing should have concessions for when they have personal emergencies, right?" you attempted to counter, to make her give in.

Her face remained firm, unwavering, "This is my duty, Y/n. The Ministry of Civil Affairs is the crossroads where many matters meet, all of which must be seen to with care. To that end, no amount of effort is too great. Hehe.... If you think just me having a fever is bad, imagine the number of people who'd get one if I were to just drop my work all of a sudden and leave Liyue. And if everyone at the Ministry became overtaxed... I imagine Liyue Harbor itself would catch a cold then."

You clenched your fists, "That's not.... that's not how it should be. Then—" you suddenly looked at her, "I'll convince Nahida to come here instead. I'm sure she'll agree, and if you want then you can arrange some diplomat—"

"Shh~" she hushed you by keeping her index finger on your lips, then dragging it down to grasp your chin again, tilting her head with a smirk.

"Look at you, Traveller.... going as far as summoning an Archon of another nation for my sake? Careful, if I were an ordinary individual, perhaps I'd already be charmed by you~" she teased, pausing to lean to whisper in your ear, "A shame that I'm not~"

Her chuckle was velvety-smooth, the way it always is. Your face flushed again, both from embarrassment and frustration, having no words to counter her.

"I appreciate the thought, truly." she moved away to look at your face, her hand cradling your cheek now, "But rest assured, I will be fine."

You sighed in defeat and cradled her hand with yours, "Promise me you'll take enough rest then. Or I'll make Rex Lapis come back just to fix your schedule~"

She chuckled, a rather unrestrained laugh that she didn't bother hiding since it was just you.

"My, wouldn't that be convenient? Somehow, I have no doubt he'll actually listen to you~"

You smirked, "Mhm, don't underestimate my relations with the Archons and other illuminated beasts~"

She smirked in return, "Is that so? Perhaps...." her other hand raised to loop around your head, fingers interlacing in your hair to tug you closer, "....You shouldn't underestimate your relations with the woman in front of you as well~" And with that, her lips were on yours again, deeper and less reserved this time.

Her mouth moved against yours with a hunger that stole the breath from your lungs. Her hand in your hair tightened, holding you firmly in place, while the other slid down to clench the collar of your shirt, tugging you flush against her body. It was as if something deep within her had snapped loose, weeks or months of restraint giving way in an instant. You moaned into the kiss, and so did she when your hands found their way around her waist.

You matched her pace, mirroring her urgency and need, because you were equally starved. Her lips were warm, insistent, tasting of medicine and longing all at once. She kissed like she had something to prove, like she needed to remind you— you’re hers, and she never forgot. Breaths and moans mingled as the passion carried on, tongues dancing together in a heated waltz that spoke enough of how much you had missed this— missed her.

A sudden knock followed by the opening of the door is what broke your kiss, both of you being caught off-guard by none other than Ganyu who came to check on Ningguang. You barely had time to pull away when she was already inside, letting out a small gasp seeing you both locked in passion. You darted away immediately, looking to the other side while covering your flushed face while Ningguang simply chuckled.

"M-My apologies for the interruption, Lady Ningguang and Y/n...." Ganyu spoke shyly.

"This isn't the first time you have seen this, Ganyu. Me and Traveller tend to get a little..... lost in each other every time, don't we?~" she teased, making you blush more while Ganyu also became flustered and nodded.

"A-Ahem, I have brought the medicines Dr Baizhu prescribed and also your updated schedule. We followed his instructions to make it."

Ningguang pondered for a moment then glanced at you and smiled, "Well, I promised our dear Traveller here that I will rest until the fever goes down~"

Ganyu became surprised for a moment then nodded with a smile, "As you say, Lady Ningguang. We will update the schedule accordingly."

"I will also get going now." you stood up, feeling slightly relieved.

"Indeed, I have kept you long enough. I trust you will come up with a relevant explanation for your absence~"

You smiled, "Of course. Though, I guess the rumours will do enough talking...."

Ningguang smirked at your remark then beckoned her finger at you, gesturing you to come closer. Ganyu immediately made her way out before you could reach Ningguang's side, knowing what may transpire. Ningguang then grasped your shirt's hem and pulled you down once again, making you bend near her face.

"N-Ningg—?!"

Your words transformed into a sudden gasp as she moved your collar aside and latched her lips near your collarbone, sucking on the spot before biting down. You hissed at the feeling of her teeth sink in your skin, the way her tongue darted out to lick the spot once before finally letting go.

"There, that should make the rumours more believable now~" she grinned, watching you become flustered.

The lovebite was strategically placed; not overly visible but also not hidden enough unless you buttoned up to the neck. She leaned back into the pillows with a feline grace, utterly pleased with herself.

"Go along, don't keep them waiting any longer. Unless.... you want more?~"

Your breath hitched as you denied her then finally left the Jade Chamber, your heart in disarray over everything that happened. But at least, now you were more confident she'd take better care of herself. You decided to do even better in the task she gave, hoping to please her and make her efforts worthwhile. Your walk back to the training grounds wasn't a delightful experience- thanks to the constant gawking and whispering of the citizens, knowing well what their focus was.

You reached Guili Planes shortly after, the advisor was engaged in a theoretical lecture in your absence. You apologized for disappearing suddenly, but it seemed none of them wanted to question what happened. They had seen you walk away with Ningguang earlier, and the mark on your neck gave them enough food for thought to understand what held you back. Well, at least the training resumed without unnecessary problems.

The days that followed were a blur of activity packed with non-stop routines and lessons. Naval training required lot of water activity, it was crucial to get everyone accustomed with the ocean and the kind of challenges it held. You moved to Yaoguang Shoal from next day and arranged for different boats in order to start seafaring training— swimming under pressure, cooperative raft maneuvers and quick response water retrievals— to name a few.

Under your patient yet firm guidance, Liyue's naval recruits, initially a chaotic mix of eager but untrained individuals, slowly began to find their rhythm. As you trained them, you poured all your combat experience and lessons from traversing Teyvat into preparing them for the rigors of naval life. It also helped you get your mind off the distracting— and still very visible— mark that Ningguang left on you, fueling new rumours every day. But your heart was peaceful knowing she was resting.

A few days later, the air at the bustling docks was thick with the scent of the sea. Today’s session focused on a series of drills to test their aquatic agility and teamwork. You wore attire specifically chosen for the water– a form-fitting top and shorts of a sturdy, quick-drying fabric, designed for minimal drag and maximum freedom of movement. It allowed for powerful strokes and rapid maneuvering, unconsciously highlighting the lean strength of your arms and legs honed through countless journeys.

You dove effortlessly into the water to demonstrate the underwater signal-response sequence, surfacing with a flick of your hair that sprayed a little arc of seawater into the air. A few of the younger recruits looked awestruck. You, of course, didn’t notice it— too focused on maintaining discipline.

From Yaoguang Shoal's beach, Ningguang had arrived, escorted by the Millelith, watching the entire exercise unfold. She wore her usual refined ensemble, a parasol shading her face, though her gaze was unmistakably fixed on you as you gave orders from waist-deep water, voice sharp and composed, body gleaming under the sun.

“What a sight,” she murmured to herself, lips curling. “Liyue’s navy will be thoroughly spoiled at this rate.”

"Admiral...." one of the recruits in the front row called out to you and gestured you to look behind.

You turned around and were taken by surprise seeing Ningguang standing on the beach, "Isn't she supposed to be resting...." you muttered to yourself with a sigh.

You were about to walk up to her when a sharp cry pierced through the waters, "Help! I can't—!"

A sudden, swirling undercurrent— a subtle riptide feeding into a deeper channel— pulled at one of the rafts, carrying two recruits dangerously off course. One of them, a lanky youth with wild eyes, panicked and slipped beneath the waves momentarily, coughing and flailing as he struggled to grab the rope. The other clung desperately to the side of the raft, frozen in place, unable to assist.

“Hold formation!” you commanded sharply. “Drop the oars! Secure the rafts!”

Despite your order, chaos threatened to spread. The recruits’ nerves frayed; their practiced coordination faltered in the face of sudden danger. Without a moment’s hesitation, you dove into the churning water, propelling forward with fluid and powerful movements at an incredible speed unnatural for any mortal, or even Vision holders.

You reached the first recruit just as he gasped for air, wrapping a strong arm around his chest and guiding him calmly toward the safety of the main raft. Passing him off to waiting hands, you swam toward the second recruit, who clung to the raft’s edge, eyes wide with terror. You surfaced beside her, voice soothing but firm.

“Let go. Trust me.”

The girl’s fingers tightened, but the firmness in your gaze made her release her grip. You caught her effortlessly, hauling her through the rolling waves with steady, practiced strokes. As you dragged her toward the raft, your muscles strained and your breath hitched, the sea spray catching the light and trailing down your exposed skin. The fabric of your training clothes clung wet and heavy, revealing every line and curve you carried— shoulders sculpted from combat, arms strong and sure, waist slender but powerful.

Ningguang walked closer once you came towards the beach and pulled out of the water, ensuring everything was okay, though her eyes couldn't be more distracted as they lingered on your toned physique. The water glistened down your skin, rolling over your lean arms, heaving chest and abs. She took her time to admire the sight while you tended to the recruit, her fan drawn up to hide the smirk on her face. Both of them were taken away to rest while you stood up, shaking off the excess water from your hair.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, making everyone come to attention and stand properly.

"Yeah, they'll be fine. Things like this end up being a good lesson."

She snapped her fan shut then glided towards you, suddenly taking up all your personal space with deliberate intent.

“Discipline is the spine of any fleet,” she said sharply over your shoulder, voice projecting across the beach. “Keep your eyes forward and your minds sharper, or you’ll find yourselves fish bait before you ever see a ship.”

“Yes, Lady Ningguang!” they chorused.

She smiled then turned her attention to you, her hand coming up to barely brush along your arm.

“Well,” she drawled, voice honeyed, “I expected to observe naval drills, not a rescue led by a soaked and rather... dashing admiral~”

You blinked, catching your breath. “They’re doing well, just hit with an unexpected current.”

She hummed, "I can see that, you handled it well. Decisive, fast, and undeniably commanding.” she praised, her voice silken and low as she drew near. “If you perform like this every day, I fear the recruits will learn far too slowly— far too distracted~”

You looked at her with a tired but cheeky grin. “Would you prefer I train them in full armor next time?~”

Ningguang let out a soft laugh, “Oh no, armor would be a tragedy. I rather like this view. Tactical efficiency wrapped in temptation, it’s hard to compete.”

You blushed and averted your gaze then whispered, "You are supposed to be resting. Is your fever down now?"

She smiled, "Why, of course. I always hold my end of the contract. Not to mention, I had to come." she stepped even closer, bending near to whisper in your ear. The recruits watched with rapt fascination until Ningguang glanced at them with a certain look that immediately made them look away, suddenly finding the sky very interesting.

"I had to come for you, I owe you more than just for this commission."

You blushed more, "....You would have done the same."

Her hand found yours this time, gently lacing her fingers between yours, her thumb brushing your knuckle in quiet gratitude. “Perhaps. But I wouldn't have looked half as good in those shorts~”

You gave a soft, breathy laugh, "You look good in everything— stunning, actually."

She gave a wider smile that slowly transitioned into her signature smirk, "Is that so? Then, would you be interested in coming over tonight and.... testing that?~"

Your breath hitched at the sudden invite, heartbeat growing louder, "Testing.... how stunning you look in everything?"

Her crimson eyes gleamed with mischief, and her voice dipped low enough to coil heat into your chest. "Mhm... I'd like your opinion, personally. Would you prefer me in pale blue silks, perhaps? A deep maroon robe? Or maybe just... my hair down, and nothing else to distract you?"

You opened your mouth to respond, but the words vanished somewhere between her sultry tone and the way her fingertips had drifted, now grazing the back of your hand with a featherlight touch. Her fingers soon laced with yours again, her thumb drawing slow, hypnotic circles over your knuckle. She leaned in, just close enough that the scent of her perfume— subtle notes of glaze lillies and smoke— enveloped you.

"Or would you rather take them off yourself?" she whispered, lips curling into a smile as your eyes widened and your breath hitched audibly.

You blinked, flustered and caught between protest and intrigue, but her hand gave yours a reassuring squeeze.

"Of course...." she added softly, the teasing now softened with genuine warmth, "This is also to thank you for taking care of me. For carrying me when I was too proud to admit I needed help, for staying without me asking. I remember the way you looked at me when I opened my eyes.... so much care, concern and love— all in one look."

That earned a pause in your racing thoughts, and when your gaze met hers again, it was different— tender, but still charged with that same magnetic pull she always had on you.

"You don't need to thank me for that, anyone else would have done the same...."

She hummed at your response, head tilting slightly as if examining you— not with scrutiny, but with something more intimate, something indulgent.

"Ah, but they’re not you." she said, her voice rich with certainty, “You say it so simply, as though that gaze of yours didn’t almost make me forget my fever entirely~”

Your breath caught again, her words weaving through the air like silk— smooth, yet impossible to hold without feeling the weight behind them.

"Well, do you accept my invitation? Or do I need to provide more incentives?~"

You became speechless for a while then cleared your throat to respond, "W-What time?"

She sneered, "As soon as you are finished here. Don't bother washing up, I'll have everything arranged. Just come straight to me~"

You merely nodded, too flustered to say any words. She leaned in to give a quick peck to your cheek— earning gasps and squeals from the recruits behind— then released you and stepped away.

"I'll be waiting. Don't keep me too long, or I might have to come rescue you the way you rescued those recruits just now~"

With that, she turned gracefully on her heel, walking back to the city with practiced elegance, leaving behind a trail of lingering warmth in her wake— and a heart in your chest beating far too fast.

Only after she was gone did one of the recruits murmur, “...Do all government inspections feel like romantic dramas?”

You sighed, then barked, “Five laps, everyone. Now.”

Their groans didn’t hide their grins.

The sun dipped lower as the training resumed, golden light dancing on the water as the recruits grumbled and splashed through their punishment laps, though none of them seemed particularly upset about it. You did your best to focus, shouting directions, correcting form, offering encouragement. But your thoughts wandered too often, drifting back to her— her touch, smile, and that promise of tonight.

By the time the sun had settled just above the horizon, casting the sea in a warm orange glow, you’d finally dismissed the last of the exhausted recruits. They muttered goodbyes and nudged each other with knowing smirks, clearly aware of your evening plans, even if none dared say a word.

You took a moment to yourself— hands on your hips, breathing in the sea air. The salty wind tousled your hair, cooled the flushed heat in your skin. Still, your heart beat with anticipation, skipping every time you remembered the way her voice had lowered when she whispered about silks… or how she'd looked at you like no one else existed.

The lanterns lining the ascent flickered like constellations, and when you stepped onto the familiar crystal walkways of Ningguang’s floating residence, it was quiet— eerily serene, like it had been expecting you. A secretary passed by with a polite nod but said nothing. Clearly, she had been told. Or perhaps, nothing needed to be said.

The doors to the Jade Chamber closed behind you with a soft thud, and for a moment, all you heard was the hush of evening wind against ornate lanterns. You knew she was waiting before you saw her. Ningguang stood at her desk, a single teacup in hand, bathed in golden light from the setting sun. Her profile was serene, composed, until she turned and saw you. Then came the smirk, slow and deliberate.

"Hm, earlier than I expected." she kept her teacup down, "Don't tell me you finished the training sooner in anticipation?~"

You blushed, "No, they were more tired today. New regime, you know...."

She took a step forward, hands folding neatly in front of her as she regarded you with a look that was far too unreadable, and far too amused.

"Ah, so it wasn’t for me, then? I’ll try not to feel too wounded~" she said, her voice carrying that telltale lilt of mock offense, eyes gleaming as they raked over you.

You tried not to fidget under her gaze, only to realize it was impossible, "I didn't say that...."

"Mhm." She closed the distance with her usual grace, the hem of her dress brushing against the fine rugs beneath her steps.

"What about you? Are you also more tired than usual?" Her hand rose, featherlight, brushing something imaginary from your collar before lingering just a second longer than it needed to.

“I’m holding up.” You tried to keep your voice even, but her proximity was doing dangerous things to your focus.

“I see.” Her smile widened, knowing and almost affectionate. “Though if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you came straight from the sea to here. Not even a detour to change into something less... ocean-kissed~”

You blinked and glanced down. Your shirt was dry but still clung faintly from the salt air, the edges sun-bleached from the afternoon drills.

You cleared your throat. “You said to come straight to you.”

Her laughter was soft and genuine, a low, pleased hum. “You really do take my requests seriously, don't you?~”

"Of course." your answer was firm, confident. The honesty in your voice made her pause. Her eyes searched yours, and for a breath, her flirtation quieted, replaced with something deeper. Gratitude, perhaps, or fondness she no longer needed to hide.

"You know, I planned to do this later. As part of your.... compensation, for the training." her hand reached to loosely lace with yours.

"....Will I not get it later now?" you asked after a bit of hesitation.

She chuckled, "Greed will get you punished, Traveller. Especially with me, if you want more then.... earn it~"

You playfully hummed, "What would you like to have? Another.... display like today's, perhaps?~"

She smirked, her other hand coming up to wrap around your shoulder now as she pressed herself to you.

"W-Wait, I'm not clean—" she silenced you with a kiss, pressing even closer, not at all caring about your state.

"You think that matters to me when I asked you to come straight to me without washing up?~" she whispered against your lips.

She then held your hand more firmly and turned to the side, "Come, the baths have been drawn. You have taken enough care of others, let me return the favor~"

You found no words to deny her, already being led through the Jade Chamber's corridor towards her opulent open bath chamber. Your heart was ready to jump out of your chest as you followed her, in sync with the steps thumping against the wooden floor. The sliding door opened on its own once you were near, and she wasted no time to drag you inside.

You had been here before, of course. It was another place you both had your past.... encounters, albeit not as frequently as her private chambers and office. The steam from the hot bath enveloped the area, a fruity and calming scent overtaking your senses and immediately relaxing you. Though, the effect was quickly taken away by the woman in front.

Ningguang turned towards you with a smile and came closer, rising her hands to start unbuttoning your shirt with grace and practiced ease. She was in no hurry, taking her time to watch as the fabric came apart and revealed your body. Your face became warmer, though you didn't know if it was from the steam or her actions and presence.

"I-I could have done this myself...." you muttered, pursing your lips in embarrassment.

She smirked, "Hm, I find the process quite enjoyable~"

The last unbutton came off and she soon dragged the shirt down your body then hurled it to some unknown corner. Your breath hitched as you were suddenly exposed to her very watchful gaze, hands instinctively coming up to cover yourself.

"Don't tell me you are still shy when I look at you this way? You should be used to it by now~"

"I.... guess some things never change~"

She hooked a finger in the waistband of your shorts and pulled you closer, her breath caressing your lips as her hands unbuttoned then unzipped the shorts, letting them fall to your ankles. You kicked them away and waited as her hands wrapped around your torso to unhook your bra and discard it, making you shiver once again but she didn't let you cover yourself this time.

"Relax, it's just you and me. I'd hate to miss even a moment of this~" she trailed a finger down your sternum, her gaze falling to the last remaining clothing on you— your underwear.

Surprisingly, she stepped back, giving you breathing space finally. Although, you were ready to brace yourself if she wanted to take off that last item as well.

"Well, I suppose it'll be unfair if you are completely bare before me~"

That made you brace yourself anyways.

She smirked as she noticed your focused gaze. She then turned around and removed her hair pin, letting her silvery locks fall free before gathering them all up into a loose, messy yet somehow elegant bun.

"Mind lending me a hand, Y/n?~" she asked, looking at you over her shoulder.

Your heart almost skipped a beat.

You then nodded and walked closer to her, trembling fingers finding the delicate knots and ties of her qipao without any aid. Indeed, you had undressed her from this very qipao numerous times by now that it became muscle memory. She shrugged off the qipao and let it pool around her feet before stepping out of it and turning around to meet your gaze.

That's when you noticed she wasn't wearing a bra, just a black lace underwear.

"Seems we are even now~" she mused as her lips curled up.

You let out a sigh, "When did you even plan all this....?"

She chuckled as her hands hooked under the waistband of her own underwear, your breath catching in your throat as you watched her slide it down then discard it with the rest of the clothes.

"Would you believe me if I said.... right from the moment you left that day?~"

You chuckled, removing your own underwear now.

"I would. I know you well, after all~"

"Good." she closed the distance between you two, hands lacing with yours, "Then you should know what I'm going to do next~"

With a gentle tug, she pulled you along as she walked backwards, stepping inside the warm bath together. The scalding water instantly reinvigorated your skin, but the sight of the woman in front of you was far more stimulating. With a harsher tug, she pinned you to the bath's edge, the marble biting in your back for a brief second. She caged you from front, palms laying flat on your stomach, teasingly caressing along the lines of your abs.

"Well, this is certainly more relaxing than the sea...." you commented with a chuckle, before holding back your breath as she came closer. Her breasts pressed flat against yours as her arms went around your body, gently embracing you. You instinctively relaxed, shoulders loosening, your own arms wrapping around her as you rested your head on her shoulder with a sigh. One hand tenderly laced through your hair, grasping the strands and massaging your head.

"Didn't know I really needed this...." you whispered, making her softly chuckle.

"Mhm, of course you didn't. Since when have you expressed your own desires, Traveller?~"

You pouted, "You aren't one to talk when you faint from overworking."

"Hmm, but working hard for Liyue is one of my desires~"

You sighed, nuzzling your face into her neck.

"Are you really okay now? Did you follow all instructions Baizhu gave?"

She smiled, "Indeed, you can cross-check with Ganyu or others if you don't believe me~"

"No need, I can tell you are indeed better. But you know you have to keep this up otherwise something worse can happen...."

"I'm aware, I won't let it come to that."

"You better not. Or I'll come in the blink of an eye no matter what corner of Teyvat I am in."

She chuckled, tightening her hold in your hairstrands, "Is that so? I'm quite tempted to see that now. Perhaps I should.... pretend to fall sick just to see how fast you'll come flying through Teyvat for me~"

You scoffed, "Ah yes, how amusing to see me panic and fly across nations."

She smirked, "It would send quite a strong message to other nations. The esteemed Traveller flashes across Teyvat for the Tianquan of Liyue....~"

Her fingers trailed lazily down the nape of your neck, cool and gentle despite the heat of the water. “Imagine the stories.” she continued, voice low and coaxing, “Diplomats scrambling, envoys whispering, wondering just what kind of hold I must have on you~”

You rolled your eyes with a grin, “As if you don’t already enjoy that enough.”

You raised your head from her shoulder to look at her, her other hand coming up to cup your face now as her expression suddenly turned more mischievous.

"How can I resist when you wear my marks like a badge of honor for days while out in public and exposed?~"

Her eyes briefly glanced on your collarbone, the place she had bit you that day which had faded now. Your face flushed at the sudden remembrance, pouting more and looking away.

"It wasn't on purpose; you did it at such a spot...."

She smirked and gripped your chin, pulling your face towards herself to look into your eyes.

"Strategic placement. It served it's purpose quite well, didn't it?~"

You groaned in protest, about to retaliate when she moved closer. Her leg teasingly slid over your calf under the water, thigh nudging between your legs. A shiver ran through you at the closeness, your eyes lingering on her inviting red lips.

"Hmm.... finally letting your desires come through, Traveller?~" she brought her face closer, lips just inches away from yours.

You pout again then suddenly still as her hand caressed your cheek soothingly, exhaustion falling on you at her comforting touch. She smiled looking at your drooping eyes, her hand slowly trailing down to your neck as her finger traced a scar on your chest.

"This.... wasn't here the last time we met." she stated softly, akin to a whisper. "Is this from the war in Natlan?"

Your eyes lowered for a moment then you nodded, "Yes, when I fought the Abyss invasion...."

Her eyes narrowed briefly, then she moved her hand up to cup your face again. There was so much she wanted to say, but she knew it would all be futile, and she knew that you knew what she wanted to say. All she could do was accept the way things were, and provide you respite. She smiled again then leaned in and placed her lips on your forehead, a touch so soothing that it sent shivers down your spine. Her other arm looped around your neck as her lips moved down to kiss your nose, then cheeks, then finally your own lips.

She possessively held your face with her free hand as you kissed, lips moving in perfect harmony with slow, gentle movements that spoke all your thoughts and desires. Your arms pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. She softly moaned into the kiss, parting her mouth to let her tongue explore with yours, engaging in a sensual dance. Ningguang somehow pressed even closer to your body, wrapping both arms around your neck and holding you tight as your lips remained locked. It felt as if she was conveying all her emotions through this single exchange.

You parted with a soft gasp, panting together as you regained your breaths. Her ruby eyes gazed at you with utmost need, a reverent lust hidden in their depths that she was trying her best to hold back. Without warning, she dived in to trail kisses along your neck. You tilted your head back with a soft whimper, her lips travelling to each corner she could find, kissing and lightly sucking on every spot with devotion. Your breath hitched when you felt her tongue lap up on some spots, especially giving attention to the scar she had found.

"N-Ningguang.... mmh~"

She latched her lips to the center of your neck, teeth lightly grazing as she sucked on the spot to leave a mark. She looked satisfied seeing the swollen red mark glisten on your skin, her tongue darting out to soothe it.

"Every time you come with new scars and wounds.... and you have the audacity to scold me for overextertion, hm?~" she teased with a hum, cupping your face once again.

"Both are different things, you know? I heal up quickly, and I'm not exactly a human like you."

Ningguang playfully scoffed, "Hmph, I suppose that makes all the difference. That it justifies how you throw yourselves into danger without inhibitions, that you show up for every battle, every conflict no matter how little it helps your cause...."

You gave a wry smile, sensing her turmoil, "I know you are worried. We have discussed this before. I also worry about you, a lot more than you realize."

She exhaled and pulled you into an embrace again, "I'm aware. Still, some things are difficult to overlook...."

She looked at your face again then shrugged, "But I digress, this is not what I want to discuss at the moment." She smiled and rested her forehead on yours, "I wanted to thank you for the help that day, and simply spend some time with you~"

You smiled in return, "As long as you are fine, nothing else matters."

She twirled your haistrands in her fingers, gazing at you affectionately. Before you knew it, your lips were locked in a heated embrace once again with all other thoughts and worries forgotten. The world melted into warmth and water, her fingers weaving through your hair as your arms tightened around her waist. She parted only to trail kisses down your neck, each contact sending shivers in your body as she moved lower.

Your breath hitched when her hand slid down, tracing your curves before slipping under the water and in between your legs. Her fingers teased along your inner thighs, missing just the spot she knew you wanted it most. Her lips then moved up to lightly nip your earlobe, the water surface stirring slightly with the movement.

"N-Ning.... don't tease me...." your words came as a plead, hips bucking towards her hand.

She chuckled in your ear, her silvery voice making you tremble as it always does.

"It's rare of you to display your desires so openly. Did you perhaps...." she paused, her hand moving to cup your arousal, "....miss me?~"

You let out a muffled whine, biting your lower lip to conceal the sound.

"I.... I did. It felt longer than usual this time."

Ningguang's eyes widened briefly at your unexpected confession, her smirk going wider.

"Oh my, you are being rather pliant today. I wonder, will I be able to make you beg if I edge you a little longer?~"

You purse your lips then looked at her with hooded eyes, "P-Please...."

Her eyes darkened with lust as her restraint snapped at your pleading look and submissive tone.

She pushed you further on the edge as she lunged to capture your lips in a searing kiss, impatient and hungry, before parting with a gasp and nuzzling in your neck.

"How unfair to show this side to me now...." she whispered against your neck, her tongue darting out to lick up a strip. "But, you are in luck that I missed you just as much, if not more. And I want you, badly."

She punctuated her claim by sinking her teeth in your shoulder, earning a pleasured hiss from you. Her hand cupping your arousal started rubbing along your folds now, thumb circling the clit while the fingers teased your entrance.

"Although, I suppose I can drag on the torment a while longer, hm?~"

She grinned and teased her finger around your entrance more while constantly rubbing your clit at the same slow pace.

"N-Ning.... please...." you pleaded, hands grabbing her shoulders.

"Speak up, my dear. We have always been honest with each other, haven't we?~" she nipped your earlobe more, her free hand coming up to toy with your erect nipple.

"Mmh— please, g-give it to me.... I can't wait anymore!~" you outright begged, having had enough of this torment.

She smirked more then plunged 2 fingers inside you at once. You gasped and bucked into her, your head falling back at the sudden intrusion but there was no pain, only pleasure.

"As wet and possessive as I remember. Although, I'll give credit to the bath for the former~" she chuckled then pressed her lips to yours in a passionate kiss, her fingers curling inside you to hit your sensitive spots. You moaned into the kiss as her fingers ravished you, pumping in and out at a steady pace and scraping all the right spots. It was no wonder she knew your pleasure spots so well, she had learnt them after just the first time.

She released the kiss with a gasp and nipped your jaw and neck, pressing herself flush to you as her fingers didn't stop their relentless assault. She smirked watching you come undone, her desire fueling further. She scissored her fingers inside you, curling them and scraping all parts she could, pumping her fingers fasters now to hit the places that made your eyes go wide.

"Oh, how I missed this marvelous sight. Still so responsive to me, clenching me for dear life~" she cooed, trailing more kisses on your jaw.

"I.... I'm close.... ngh—!~" you whimpered, your head collapsing on her shoulder as your hands wrapped around her.

Ningguang chuckled and hilted her fingers to the base, pumping at a fast rate and finally drawing out your release by pinching your clit one last time. Your hips bucked into her palm, your body trembling all over from the force of your orgasm before resting on her shoulder. She pulled out her fingers once you came down from your high, bringing her hand out of the water to look at it.

"Mm, shame I couldn't taste you. But, I suppose there's plenty of chances later~"

She caressed your head and kissed your temple, simply holding you in bliss with just your ragged breaths filling the space.

"Come now, let me wash you up."

"No, wait, let me do—"

"Shh~" she placed her index finger on your lips, "I know you want to do the same for me, and trust me, you will. After all, I never leave favours unclaimed, do I?~"

You pouted, "I know, but...."

She chuckled and playfully tapped your nose, "Patience, my darling. Let me take care of you before you render me immobile~"

Your face flushed at that, knowing well what she meant. She then moved to the side to grab shampoo and soap and started applying them on your hair and back, gently massaging all over your body and cleaning you. You felt relaxed and rejuvenated in no time, leaning into her touch to enjoy the soothing sensations. You offered to clean her in return once you were done, but she declined saying she only wanted to do it for you.

"Let me massage your shoulders at least, you must be tired from working all day." you insisted.

She smiled and pecked your cheek, "Don't worry about me, I have access to such services plenty. I arranged this exclusively for you today, to thank you for everything you have done."

"I'm grateful but I also feel bad.... Let me repay you in some capacity, please?"

Ningguang could sense the guilt in your tone and expression, her ruby eyes softening into a look of tender affection. She cupped your face with both hands, "Well, I do have some ways in mind. Would you like to know?~"

You blushed then eagerly nodded, she chuckled and pecked your lips then guided you out of the bath. She wrapped a towel around you and helped you dry up before leading you to her private chambers. Before you knew it, you were pushed on the bed with her straddling your hips as she claimed your lips in a passionate kiss, both of you still naked and fresh from the bath.

"Mmm, you wanted to repay me? Now's your chance~" she murmured after the kiss, sitting up on your lap to gaze at you.

She smirked and moved behind slightly, spreading your legs open then intertwining them with hers in a scissor formation. You perched up on your elbows seeing what she had in mind, bracing yourself for the onslaught of pleasure she was going to bring. She grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, your cores pressing together as a moan echoed in the room.

"Remain still before I let you take the reins, is that clear, my darling?~"

She asked with a tilt of her head and a mischieous smile on her face, all you could do was accept your predicament.

Her hips began moving with yours in a slow, sensual rhythm. Your folds rubbed against each other, already coated with slick. She let out a pleasured hum feeling her clit bump with yours, throwing her head back as she gradually rolled her hips faster. You moaned in unison as the friction increased and hit you in all the right spots, fingers clenching the bedsheet as you thrusted up from your end. A throathy gasp escaped her at the sudden jerk, her eyes locking on yours with a lustful gaze.

"Bold.... mmh... I told you to remain still, didn't I? Already disobeying me— aah?~"

"Hah.... you like it when I do, don't y— ngh!~" you whined when she gave a harsh thrust forward, your head shooting back.

Her smirk widened watching you writhe, her hips moving faster and harder as she sought her release. Your folds glided over each other's at a tortorous rate, clits hitting at angles you wanted and didn't want. She was doing this intentionally, denying you the pleasure you wanted as punishment. Your fingers clenched the bedsheet tighter as you fought the urge to thrust up again, desperately holding back to obey her.

"Good girl.... hmm.... s-see how easy it is to obey?~"

Her voice faltered in between between breathy. She pulled your leg higher and placed it on her shoulder before moving closer, angling her hips in a different way before joining your cores together and consistently rubbing them. You whimpered from the sudden surge in friction, chasing your own release with her.

"That's it.... mhm.... stay this way— oh, Archons!~" she gritted through her teeth, grinding your cores faster as she found the angle and rhythm that hit best.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you approached your release. A final thrust and press was all it to for you both to unravel together, sharp moans reveberating in the bedchambers as she rolled her hips one last time. You stayed connected as you panted, catching your breaths before she laid on top of you. Her hands grabbed your face then pulled you into a tender kiss, basking in the afterglow of shared ecstasy.

"You did so good for me, my sweet~" she whispered after the kiss, "Would you like your reward now?~"

You chuckled after letting out a deep breath, "There's more?~"

She smirked in return, "Mmm, the main one is yet to be unwrapped~" she nipped your lower lip before standing up from the bed.

"Be a dear and fetch it from the cupboard, will you?~"

You raised an eyebrow in confusion but did as told, walking to her cupboard and rummaging through it for a moment.

"What am I supposed to fi—" your words were held in your throat as your hands grabbed something unexpected, but not unknown. She smirked seeing your shocked expression and watched as you brought the object out.

"This is it. Wear it and come here."

It was a strap-on. You should have known this is what she meant.

You wasted no time to fasten it around your waist, blushing a little looking at it around you.

"Come now." she beckoned you with a crook of her finger. You walked towards her and were about to hold her when she acted faster, grabbing your shoulders and pushing you down once again. You had no time to react as she already climbed on top, settling just a few inches shy from the toy.

"Now, I trust you know what to do?~"

You nodded in a daze, watching her rise on her knees then slowly sink on the length. The glide happened rather easily, thanks to her being drenched from the previous release. She grinded her hips around once it was fully inside, accomodating the pleasurable stretch.

"Mmm, perfect.... Enjoy the show~" she braced her hands on your chest as she started rising up and down the toy, her hips slapping against your thighs obscenely.

Your hands instinctively held her waist, helping her move along. Her head fell back with an arch of her spine as she rocked her hips faster, riding you with increasing fervor as the pleasure slowly built. Her body undulated above you in a sensual rhythm, "Mmm.... yes—hah—yes.... this is it!~" She panted in a breathy tone, her hips continuing to bounce and grind with reckless abandon.

The bed creaked from her frantic pace, her hands digging in your shoulders as she held you for leverage. It was truly the best reward she saved for the end, knowing well how much you liked it. You gave gentle thrusts from your end in sync with her own, creating a perfect harmony of skin slapping against skin as she chased her release. Her walls tightened around the toy as if to milk you, bouncing at an even greater pace.

"Close.... so close— oh yes!~" she moaned in ecstasy, collpasing on you to hold you tightly as you helped with the final thrusts, holding her as she finally unraveled. Her breathy moan was music to your ears, her body trembling all over from the force of the powerful orgasm.

"Hmm.... I don't suppose you are satisfied with just that, are you?~" she whispered, lightly biting your collarbone.

Throughtout the night, the symphony of bodies clashing against each other and moans bouncing off the walls continued in the Jade Chamber until neither of you could anymore.

Soft rays of the sun fell on your face next morning, opening your eyes to find yourself entangled on the ruined sheets with her. Bites, scratches and lipstick marks adorned your body, smiling to yourself as memories of the previous night played out. Ningguang stirred beside you, her arms holding you tighter as she slowly opened her eyes.

"Good morning, my dear~" she whispered and pecked your lips. "I hope last night's compensation was satisfactory?~"

You blushed for a second then smirked, "Hmm, what if it wasn't? Do I get more?~"

Ningguang smirked in return as if she anticipated you'd say that.

"In that case...." she trailed off and summoned a scroll from thin air, holding it towards you, "Perhaps we should discuss a.... long term investment plan?~"

Ah, this sly woman. You were not surprised she took your earlier suggestion for a contract seriously.... Not that you were complaining~

[donat-senpai]

You know in your Jinshi and maomao yandere series, how'd you think they'd react if it was reader who was kidnapped in the show clan arc?

Yandere!Maomao X Reader X Yandere!Jinshi Please don't read this if you are uncomfortable with the yandere! tw: abduction themes I’m not very familiar with this story arc, so I made the kidnapping theme a bit more general.

They would (both go completely insane, lol) join forces and launch an investigation. They’d start with a classic examination of the "crime scene," looking for clues that might hint at where you could have gone. Maomao would use her knowledge to make the search more effective, while Jinshi would focus on witnesses, questioning everyone who last saw you.

If bringing you back turns out to be more difficult than they initially expected, Maomao wouldn’t hesitate to ask her father for help. (Luohan Han would be so thrilled to get involved that he wouldn’t even ask unnecessary questions.) Right after the initial inspection, she’d ask for a dog to be brought in, hoping the animal could pick up your scent. Throughout the entire search, she'd constantly blame herself for leaving you unattended and allowing this to happen.

Jinshi, much like in the canonical situation with Maomao’s kidnapping, would still be heavily restricted by his status. He’d want to use every resource available but would fear revealing his secret and making it obvious that you mean more to him than anyone else. If the kidnappers were to discover your value to him, they’d definitely use it against him.

Throughout the process, the two of them would be completely honest with each other. They’d share every piece of new information and theory. Their goal is simple: to bring you back as quickly as possible. Competing with each other or withholding facts would only get in the way.

If a ransom is demanded, Jinshi would meet the kidnappers’ conditions without hesitation—as long as he’s sure you’ll actually be released afterward.

And if all of their efforts still aren’t enough, and they both start to lose hope, Jinshi would be willing to take the ultimate risk and ask the Emperor for help. He’d reveal the truth about you. It’s unlikely the prince would face serious consequences, but a harsh conversation would probably follow, reminding him of his place in the palace. Jinshi would accept the help without hesitation, even if it meant being removed from his position as overseer of the inner palace. Even if he were ordered to send you away once you’re found, he would make sure to arrange a safe, comfortable place for you. And in that case, he’d give up. He might even send Maomao with you, to keep watch and protect you.

The guy would be utterly crushed. He’d accept the heartbreaking condition—to never contact you again—if it meant knowing you’re safe and well.

Taglist: @iamrgo, @hellishdevotee, @levifiance, @bloodypawzies, @greensunflowerjuna, @jackiebluh, @thefawnmadeofstars,

(I'm tagging these people in a fic that isn’t an official part of the series, but its concept is directly inspired by it. I assumed you might still enjoy it, but if you’d prefer to only be tagged in the main series and not in related fics, feel free to let me know! 💙)

[bxnfire]

love island ft. choso kamo

masterlist

loveisland!choso who entered as a bombshell. he had no interest in being something he saw as staged and fake but yuuji signed him up for it so he did it to impress him, but his heart also oddly did not tell him against it

loveisland!choso who doesn’t really open up to most of the islanders. he will engage in small talk, but the other participants will see the most of him in the challenges. these are also the the way he got interested in you in the first place! he didn’t feel anything for no one until you kissed him… too bad he was blindfolded

loveisland!choso who becomes active after you kissed him. he is now trying to talk to everybody, testing the waters and see if he feels a connection with someone, or at least has hopes for who he’d like his secret kisser to be

loveisland!choso who is one of the most honest of the bunch. him and nanami are up there for being straightforward, which is something that drew you to him. he has never once tried to cover up the fact that he's dead set on finding his mystery kisser (which is funny because he has no idea its you!), and you've just always tried to give him some hints here and there but he never seems to take them

loveisland!choso who realizes you were the one he was looking for all along when you chose him as your fourth base for the baseball game and kissed him oh so fucking dirty and, fuck, you put up a damn show. you were grinding on him, pulling his hair, and biting his lower lips like you were eating your last meal on this earth. you’d love to say that you were moaning and getting more aggressive for the camera, but in reality, the obscene bulge you were grinding up against and all the grunts and cusses you were hearing right in your ear were all the audience you needed, and your pussy further confirmed this fact

loveisland!choso who loves cooking/baking dates because he gets to make a mess all over you and clean it up with his tongue. that is what he’d say to you anyway, but his genuine goal is to make a mess right in your cunt. whether it’s sour or salty is ultimately up to you, but the common factor is that so long as it’s you he’s insatiable. at least you're clean now right? besides, he needs to show you just how good he'd be at taking care of you. he's also a big fan of those dates that are surprise performances, because he's deeply into music and wants to see if y'all got similar tastes. now, if after the performance he gets to have his way with you on a hidden corner, bent over some box backstage and putting his fingers with cold silver rings so far up your cunt, with his other hand covering your mouth to suppress your cries of pleasure, that was just a post-performance meet-and-greet right? he just needed to talk to your sweet cunt! wanted to know your clit a little better, learn more about your g-spot and well shit, map ‘em out with his fingers, tongue, nose, cock, thighs, did i say cock? cock, dick, male reproductive organ, oh yeah!! and his dick, not his fault looking at you from different angles, hearing all the sounds you’d make, feeling your pussy here and there and everywhere made new veins pop on his dick, make him so hard and then just a little more! almost like he discovered a whole new inch, with which he just had to tour your sweet cunt

loveisland!choso who never fears re-couplings and challenges, he’s made it abundantly clear to you (and consequently everyone) that he’s only got eyes for you, and even if other guys approach you or you even decide to explore other connections, he’ll patiently wait. you don’t need to see his jealous side just yet, or his little twisted habit of replaying your make out sessions with other guys or attempts at riling them up as he hides away to jerk his big cock off, he can’t help it! when it gets hard at the thought of you not even a cold shower could will it down, so he may as well pump it ‘til his wrist hurts as he thinks of the things he’d do to you once he gets alone with you again

loveisland!choso who didn’t expect to find a genuine connection here, and if anyone’s about deep connection past superficial emotions it’s him. and yes, it was a first for him to fall for someone’s kiss, but it was your easy laugh, your soothing voice, the way your touch felt like it was always meant to be for him, your easy conversations which usually cost him so much with everyone else were the highlight of his day, and just how he could feel safe with you which told him he’d do anything and everything in his will to get you to stay with him off the screen and far from the villa, right into his heart if you’d so desire

[crispys-records]

that new thunderbolts promo art

its cornplate hour my loves, lets analyze the new thunderbolts* promo art

starting off, of course, with the composition of it

they use sentry, and the rest of the promo is completely black. black, obviously, is the void. and what stands out? bob, the sentry. in bright, bright gold. a really nice way of making him a center focus, something your eyes are naturally drawn to before anything else. youve never met this specifc character before the movie, so obviously hes going to be a main selling point.

and the fact that hes entirely basked in gold isnt lost on me either. hes the one in the image with the most gold on him. sure, its a nod to how important he is, but also how powerful he is compared to everyone else.

the use of gold highlights is especially interesting in this image.

we have the sentry, obviously, totally covered in it. but also yelena and john, who have a pretty similar amount of gold on their person. yelena, in her hair. john, in his shield. they're the centerpieces to which the development of bob's power is built on.

yelena, the kinder one, the one who builds up his confidence while simultaneously and accidentally breaking him down by admitting his worst fears, that hes useless and life sucks.

john, the ruder one, who throws insult after insult and has no intention of babying the civilian, which, sure, might hurt bob but also heals him, because john doesnt treat him any differently from the others.

in the movie, this is more obvious, because theyre the only two whos shame rooms we see. and then we have bucky

the smallest, barely noticable hint of gold in his arm. and this is important. because bucky plays a critical role in this movie too, and the gold is a direct understanding of that. hes the leader, hes the one who we cut to the most, who agrees to bring everyone together to take down valentina. hes important, just not as much as the other three. and yelena and john are important, just not as much as the sentry.

notice how bucky is also in the center next to bob? well, hes the leader of the team when they approach the tower, so of course he'd be in the center.

anyway i love this stupid movie im gonna be so annoying abt it forever

[invaderzia1]

Borrowed Clothes

When you were kids, Fem!Caleb and you would always share clothes. If you liked a top of hers, she would insist that you should wear it and when you come home from a sleepover you’d find her wearing your hoodies. It just made sense that you shared your things. But as you get into high school, your styles stop aligning and you stop stealing her clothes. No matter how much she tries to offer you clothes or buying pieces she knows you’ll like, you don’t budge.

There is no greater tragedy in her high school years than you refusing to wear her clothes like you used to. Doesn’t let you know how badly she wants you too, instead drops subtle hints. Like if you say you’re cold, she already be peeling off her hoodie trying to offer it to you or mixing some of her laundry into yours in hopes you’ll mistake it for one of yours.

Though that didn’t stop her from borrowing your clothes. It didn’t matter if it was a pair of socks or a shirt. Hell, she’d try to borrow your bra and panties if you let her, doesn’t matter if they fit or not she will try. If it has your scent, she’s stealing it and wearing it around. Yes, even those cringy anime tees from middle school you only wear to bed.

“Jiejie, take it off!! You can’t wear that to school!”

“Relax, pipsqueak. All my other clothes were dirty.” Such a dirty little liar.

What grinds your gears is how amazing she looks in whatever she steals of yours. It doesn’t matter if you are smaller than her, your tiny shirts make the perfect baby tees on her, or bigger than her, your oversized shirts are perfectly baggy on her. If you didn’t live with her, you’d also agree with most everyone at school that she is a goddess. Instead of admitting how attractive she looks, you yell and tell her to stop touching your shit. Gran thinks she’s too old to deal with you and Caleb’s shenanigans so she tries her best to ignore it.

Before she leaves for the DAA, she swipes one of your shirts. An old, well worn shirt that she can put over her pillow case so you are always close. Every time she comes home, she makes sure to put it back and swiping another, needing to smell you when she goes to sleep as creepy as it sounds.

When Caleb decides to visit you in Linkon, she expected to find you in your pajamas already. What she doesn’t expect is for you to be using an old tee shirt of hers as your pajamas. And it seems to cause her brain to short circuit, stuck in your doorway holding bags of snacks for an impromptu sleepover with her eyes as wide as the moon. You have to push her inside to snap her out of it, not wanting your neighbors to see you pants-less like this.

She assumed that most of her stuff had burned up in the explosion, but she forgot about the clothes she had at the DAA. And you wear it when she’s not around, as a sort of comfort. You will send her to an early grave (for real this time), she fears.

Now, every time Caleb sleeps over, you find a new shirt laid on your bed with a cute note wishing you sweet dreams.

It only gets worse when you start dating. All of her clothes are now yours. There’s no escaping like you did in high school and college, you will wear her shirts for her. Wants you to model all her clothes so she can shower you in praise and take photos like you’re a model.

[phantomamour]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 (𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞)

senator!coriolanus snow x personal assistant fem!reader - previous parts

cw// self-doubt/consciousness, panic attack, confessions - finally finished this and i'm so so happy about it. i have a few ideas for little spin-off fics (admittedly some smut in there too...) but no clue when they will happen so i'm very happy to have the main story completed. it's one of my babies <3

President Ravinstill was stepping down at the end of the year. The announcement took the Capital by storm; every politician worth anything was scrambling to put their foot in the door of the upcoming presidential election in the late spring. Coriolanus’ schedule was meticulously filled to the brim with meetings between himself and several potential campaign managers, thanks to you, and every day felt like a step closer to the end goal you knew he had envisioned for himself so long ago. You didn’t doubt that he could do it for a second, watching each potential manager walk out of his office with their head held high, assuming they’d be working with the future president by the end of the month. It wasn’t until one afternoon, as you overheard chatter from the small group awaiting the elevator, that you questioned your future role in Coriolanus’ presidency.

“His assistant would have to be replaced, certainly.”

“Of course, we’ll hire someone else immediately. Someone more competent, perhaps.” A seed of doubt had been planted under your skin with their harsh words. You never backed down from the challenges that being a senator’s assistant had provided you. You were sure you lost more sleep working for Coriolanus than during university, but you also thrived under his employment. Almost two years had passed since you started at your small desk outside his office, and you wouldn’t trade a second of it for the world. 

Days passed as you continued to spiral about the notion of your termination. You watched every potential manager closely, looking for any hint of their doubt in your abilities. But most of all, you wanted to watch Coriolanus. You certainly thought you had proved yourself, and now you feared he could share that same doubt with the others. 

Your desk started to feel like a place of shame with every person who walked by. Did they know something you did not? Were you failing without even realizing it? Surely you’d be gone by the end of the month. Perhaps even the end of the week. That train of thought brought you into Coriolanus’ office without an idea of what consequences might come from your following words. Coriolanus’ head snapped up to the sound of the door shutting, eyes widening at the sight of you standing before him. 

“I think it’s quite unfair that you’d fire me when I’ve worked unbelievably hard for you. Not once have I faltered in my position, even when you and everyone else have challenged me. I know how you like your calendar and coffee and what dry cleaner you prefer. All of these details that another assistant would completely overlook, but that I know by heart.” Coriolanus couldn’t move. He just watched as you ran a hand through your hair, clearly more and more frazzled by the moment. He had no idea what you were talking about. Firing you? He wouldn’t do it even with a gun to his head, truthfully. Yet once you opened the floodgates to the emotions that had grown deep roots in your chest over the last few days, you couldn’t stop what else poured out with it.

“But if that hard work hasn’t meant what I thought it did, then I think it’s only fair to get it off my chest before you fire me, that I think I love you.” He wasn’t breathing. Surely he misheard you, but you continued, “All your stupid mannerisms and likes and dislikes and habits that I have memorized, and they-they aren’t really stupid because they’re you! And I really like you… And your cat that you won’t tell me about! Because I think you like keeping me on the edge of my seat, trying to figure out more of these little personal details about your life that no one else knows. Which fine! Maybe I love it too because loving you is…” Your voice started to falter, realizing what you were confessing, “Loving you is like… a present that I keep getting to unwrap and… and love more and… more.” Your voice trailed off as the anxious feeling in your chest replaced itself with a deep dread.

If you weren’t fired before, you had to be now. Your body was on fire, every nerve ending completely fried as you watched him stare at you from his desk. He could see you starting to shake, the air in the room escaping you as it dawned on you the full severity of your confession. You wanted to defend yourself, defend your role, but you only gave him more reason to fire you. The group by the elevator called you incompetent, and now you swore you could hear them questioning your professionalism in your head as you opened your mouth to speak, and a broken whisper was all that came out.

“Oh god… I’m… I’m sorry.” You turned to leave, but Coriolanus was rushing up from behind his desk to stop you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you away from the door. Your hand–no, your whole arm–was trembling in his hold. The fear in your eyes was something he’d never seen before; you thought your entire life was imploding right in front of your eyes, and to Coriolanus, he thought it might only be the beginning.

“Who made you think I’d ever fire you? Give me a name.” You could barely breathe, tears pooling in your eyes as you shook your head.

“That’s what you’re focusing on from that?” You sounded so breathless, voice breaking as you fought back the tears that were blurring your vision. Even through the fog of tears, you could see the soft smile Coriolanus offered you, moving a hand up to cup your jaw. The feeling of his skin against yours eased some of the tightness of your chest as you gasped for breath, his thumb rubbing over your cheekbone.

“Of course not. But I will need a name, and you need to take a deep breath, sweetheart.” He’d never seen you so worked up, so overwhelmed by your own emotions and the thoughts that had made it nearly impossible to sleep. You were having a panic attack; he could see it in the glassy look of your eyes, and he waited patiently for you to take a deeper breath to reassure you, “I love you, too.” 

The force of your next breath nearly made your knees buckle as he pulled you into his chest and smoothed out your hair. He whispered a soft count for you to follow. One, two, three, four… four, three, two, one. Again. It seemed muffled in his hold, but he brought his lips down to your ear to speak more clearly, “Breathe, darling,” while he guided you to the small leather couch in the corner of his office. 

“C-coryo-” you tried to speak as he sat you down with him, letting you press yourself flush to his side before he shushed you softly. 

“I’m here. It’s okay. Try to relax. That was a lot, darling. You’re okay. Just breathe with me,” he whispered, rubbing gently up and down your back to ground you. You were still trembling down to your bones as if caught in the pouring rain in the coldest parts of winter when he pressed his lips to your hair. He couldn’t help his smile when you started to melt into him more, your breaths evening out to match his own. The tension in the room began to dissipate, a new kind of unfamiliar comfort taking its place. Even though you had wanted it for much longer than you’d let yourself admit, it was strange to know he shared the same feelings as you in any capacity. You didn’t get to mull it over long, however, before he tilted your chin up to look at him.

“I don’t tell you about my cat because you asking me questions about her gives me an excuse to ask more about you in return for my vague answers.” Oh. All this time, you thought he was keeping you at an arm's length, and truthfully, he had been trying to bring you in closer.

“You don’t need an excuse to ask me things you want to know. I’ll tell you anything.” A small smile graced Coriolanus’ face again, the room brightening around you two as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. A comfortable silence ensued, the two of you looking at each other, taking in the details of his face. The sharp edge of his jaw, the soft curve of his cheekbone, his full lips. 

“Her name is Juliet… my cat. I’ve had her for three years. Perhaps you were right about the aloof detail but she’s more aloof than me,” he whispered softly. The corners of your mouth tugged up in response; he was letting you learn more about him and it brought a warmth to your chest you weren’t sure you’d ever quite experienced before. 

“That’s sweet. I knew you were a cat person.” He laughed in response.

“You know more about me than anyone.” You felt the room grow smaller around you two as his gaze travelled down to your lips, all the air in your lungs being sucked out under the weight of his stare. Would his lips be as soft as you thought they were? There were an alarming amount of nights, even daydreamed afternoons, that you had considered the thought. What would it be like to kiss Coriolanus Snow? It kept you up at night and distracted you on the weekends. You were hopelessly head over heels for the man and now could believe he might feel the same way in return. 

He caught your eyes on his lips and lost any hesitance he could have had before leaning down to kiss you finally. He smelled like the bottle of bourbon he kept in his office. He tasted like the coffee you had brought him that morning still. You couldn’t help melting into him, wanting to be closer, wanting to feel him against you. All he could think about was the way you leaned into him as he pulled you from his side into his lap. Your thighs caged his as you straddled him, your fingers carding through his hair and loosening his curls. His hands slipped under the fabric of your shirt around your back to press you flush to his chest as you sighed so sweetly against his lips. He could kiss you for the rest of the time. He was sure of that. Now that he’d had a taste, he’d never be able to let you go. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this, sweetheart.”

“I was really hoping you were going to kiss me after the Christmas gala,” you whispered in reply.

“I should have. I really should have. You looked so breathtaking that night.” He melted underneath you, remembering the sight of your red dress and the tipsy giggles you had let out around him that night. You smiled against his lips and he swore it was the most addicting feeling in the world. He could hoard you in his penthouse like the most beautiful jewel in the Capital. He’d dress you in the finest things and spoil you beyond belief. But he couldn’t imagine being Senator, let alone President, without you there to assist him either.  

He pulled your head back just so he could look at you again, taking in the sight of your swollen red lips and the blissful look in your eyes that matched his own. He could feel the sticky texture of your lip gloss on his lips and he didn’t think he could let you go. Not that night in his office and surely, never in the future. You were his and he was yours. 

The two of you left the office late that evening, having spent an alarming amount of time just lazily making out, relishing in the loving touch of the other. You woke up that morning in a blissed-out daze, getting dressed and smiling like a fool as you stopped into the cafe for Coriolanus’ coffee. To your surprise, he had beaten you to the office. 

“Good morning,” he smiled as you set down his cup. If you hadn’t already been smiling, you think the pure force of his own would have overwhelmed you. You had seen Coriolanus through many emotions, but this happiness, this joy, was new. You aimed to only increase it as you handed him the reports you had grabbed from your desk.

“Your meetings today are on the lighter side. Another potential manager and a call with the Minister of Defense,” you gave him a moment to look over the papers before adding, “You have a dinner to attend tonight as well.” You smiled as he looked back up to you, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He couldn’t remember there being a dinner on his schedule for the week. 

“Which diplomat wants to speak to me now? Or is a manager trying to woo me?” You felt giddy getting to tell him what you had done. 

“Well, I’m not a politician and I don’t think I need to woo you. But I would like you to take me to dinner tonight. It’s on your calendar. I got us a reservation already.” If he wasn’t charmed by you already, you had shot him like Cupid in that moment, his stomach fluttering against his will. He couldn’t help loving the way you took charge, how you ordered him around as if he wasn’t a Senator, soon to be President. Yet, even as you did, you were never once cruel. He didn’t think you could have a cruel bone in your body. 

“I see. I look forward to it. I still need that manager’s number you told me about yesterday.” 

“What for?” you tried not to sound as dreadful as the pit in your stomach felt at the mention of the people who doubted you so openly. 

“I need to tell them they aren’t getting the job,” he smirked, “You can listen if you'd like. I’m not entertaining anyone’s offers if they have anything negative to say about you.” The butterflies in Coriolanus’ stomach now matched the ones in your whole body. You had known he was protective. You had seen glimpses of the glares he shot the other senators at galas when their glances at you lingered too long. But to hear him voice it, to hear him defend you out loud, was something else entirely as you tried not to smile too wide. 

“Of course, sir. I’ll have it for you soon,” you spoke softly before turning to leave. Just like yesterday, he was standing and rushing around his desk to grab you, pulling you back to him after a quick glance at the closed door and pressing his lips to yours. You were quickly learning just how touch starved he must have been as he gripped your hips to press you closer while you melted into him. Kissing him was intoxicating. You swore you were lightheaded and tipsy as he pulled back to give you air. 

“Wear something red tonight,” he whispered.

“Don’t I always for you?” you smiled back. There was the confirmation he had needed for the last two years. The final piece of the puzzle that made up your partnership; you wore something red every single day since your first week. Today it happened to be your skirt, blood red as his jacket and the pride that shone through him as he toyed with the fabric on your hips was worth having to invest in far more red than you had ever owned before all those months ago. 

“Wear a tie tonight, Coryo,” you whispered back, playing with his collar, smoothing out the fabric against his neck. Hearing you call him the soft nickname nearly made him shiver. If it weren’t for the previous night, the confession you two shared, he was certain he’d be disgusted by the warmth in his chest looking at you. But now he nudges his nose against yours lovingly. 

“Why a tie?”

“You look very handsome with a tie,” you whispered. Coriolanus was all too endeared by the giddy undertone of your voice, matching the smile tugging at your lips as you added, “and I like the idea of tugging on it and dragging you around with me.” That got him to smile in a way he didn’t think he had in years. He could picture it now. Your intoxicating tipsy laugh as you tugged on his tie to kiss him. Your excited eyes as you would watch him give in to you. Him on his knees as you used his tie to drag his face closer-

“You don’t have to drag me. I’ll follow,” he interrupted his own thoughts before pulling you in for another kiss. It took everything in you not to mess up his gelled hair for your own enjoyment of his curls. You wanted to see him as he was and little by little, you were unwrapping him. You only hoped that spending more time with him alone would finish tearing off the precious composed wrapping paper he so proudly displayed to the Capital. You wanted to burrow into his skin and never let go. Perhaps you were just as obsessed with him as he was with you. 

He reluctantly let you go, hands trailing after your hips once you stepped out of his hold. You were unraveling him and he was relishing in the feeling of it. He hadn’t felt so vulnerable in years and yet, there was a comfort in it with you. A knowledge that you had the right interests in your heart. Not the purest perhaps—you were set on him winning the presidency still—but the ones that mattered to him most of all. That was a trust he valued so deeply with you. 

“I like the frame by the way,” you smirked, pointing to his desk as you stepped toward the door, “ I always wondered what you did with all of my little notes when I didn’t see them in the trash.” His gaze followed your direction to the small frame made of dark wood and glass, with a single piece of paper inside. He had come in early to dig it out from deep in his drawer; he didn’t need to hide it anymore. His smile didn’t falter even once you had left the room and he sat back down behind his desk. 

The little yellow piece of framed paper stared at him; the start of something he didn’t know would be so valuable at the time. He was extremely grateful for whatever little voice nagged in his head to hold onto it all that time ago. He could have lost it to the trash forever. But instead, it sat proudly on his desk. A reminder of what shockingly seemed to matter the most to him.

Good morning, Senator Snow. I look forward to working with you. 

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

Ooh "Akechi knew Joker was a PT at rank 3 and I have the evidence to back it up??" Would you be willing to prove your justice I mean assertion that Akechi knows who Joker is

yeah, so, before we get started i wanna make clear: nothing i have is a slam-dunk absolute proof that cannot be argued with. but i think there is a solid case to be made that akechi strongly suspected joker was a phantom thief before they even met at the tv station. and that, in fact, joker being called on during the show was an orchestrated attempt on goro's part to both get a reading on him as a potential phantom thief and establish a connection in order to get close to him as a prime suspect.

alright, so first of all, what does akechi know before june? well, we know he was in madarame's palace around the same time the phantom thieves were.

madarame mentions "the one with the black mask" almost as if he expects the black mask to be a part of the group. he's referred to as "the other one" and when madarame mentions him, he first looks across everyone in the group like he expects to find him among them. like i said, this isn't a slam-dunk case or anything, there are alternative explanations. but i don't think it's unreasonable to infer that madarame assumed the black mask was one of them--perhaps because he was trailing them throughout the palace.

we don't know why akechi might have paid a visit to madarame. maybe he was there for unrelated reasons to the phantom thieves--we know madarame had connections to shido. madarame also appears to believe in this same conversation that the thieves are here to kill him, so maybe he was here to make some threats and instill fear in madarame's subconscious. but regardless, we have good reason to think that akechi saw the phantom thieves inside madarame's palace. if he saw them, then that means he would have a general idea of their appearances, even if they are wearing those masks.

okay, so there's that. but i have some other evidence as well. in particular, a scene that was added to royal--and the extended version that was cut.

the scene that made it into royal cut off before sae and akechi could talk, but they still included the rest of it, meaning sae and akechi still walk past right after ryuji is loudly proclaiming their intentions to steal kamoshida's heart.

i would speculate that they ended up cutting this because it doesn't make much sense why this would mean anything to akechi. there's been no public change of heart yet, and there's no reason for a random conversation like this to catch his attention when akechi doesn't know what's going on at shujin and he isn't prescient, he doesn't have kamoshida's change of heart to give this conversation context. that said, the fact they wrote this scene at all shows they wanted to include something that hinted at the idea that akechi knows what's going on and has reasons to suspect them from very early on.

(personally, i don't think it's unreasonable for akechi to retroactively recall the loud blonde boy yelling on the street about taking kamoshida down after he's had his change of heart. and when he sees that same blonde boy in the metaverse and hanging around akira at the tv station later, well, the connections draw themselves...)

but okay, so far i've just been pointing at scenes that might loosely imply akechi has information that would lead him to suspect akira, but nothing concrete. but here is where we get concrete confirmation that akechi knows/suspects the phantom thieves, and it's this scene with the siu director that triggers after the phantom thieves change kaneshiro's heart.

right here the siu director is talking to the principal of shujin and pressing for information on suspects. in the conversation, he says that their other operative gave them a list of suspects "without delay." this other operative is akechi. his list of suspects, by this point, would almost certainly be akira kurusu and his friends. they're the most obvious suspects, which brings me to my other point--

suspecting joker as being a phantom thief is an extremely obvious inference. akechi is supposed to be intelligent, and there really isn't another suspect that would fit better than him. he transferred into shujin immediately before the first incident, has a criminal record, and is constantly seen with both kamoshida's and madarame's biggest victims. it would not be difficult to pin him down before the kaneshiro incident at all.

but back to the siu director--notice that he says "without delay." we know for a fact that akechi has given his suspect list by the time of kaneshiro's change of heart, but it's likely that his list predated this conversation by quite a bit. akechi could have given his suspect list any time before the end of june. personally, i think it's likely he submitted a suspect list shortly after madarame's change of heart, around the time of his and akira's first meeting.

but on the note of akechi's rank 3, even if you don't think akechi suspected who akira was before they met like i do, the scene with the siu director is proof he knows before rank 3. there is no hard date for either the siu director's scene (which is triggered on the date you change kaneshiro's heart) or akechi's rank 3 (which can be triggered at any time depending on how quickly you go through his ranks). but the earliest akechi's rank 3 can take place is around the end of june, the same rough time as the siu director scene--meaning that he's submitted his suspect list by then. so he absolutely suspects who akira is by rank 3.

okay, so there's my case. i'll end this by saying that the ultimate reason i think akechi already suspected who akira was when they met is because i think it makes narrative sense and is just extremely fun for their dynamic. both akechi and akira (because of the pancakes slip-up) thinking they have the other figured out, while also believing they have the other completely fooled, is extremely entertaining. i have to imagine that every single conversation these boys have is a game they're playing where they're trying to get the other to slip up while also not revealing who they really are.

so, yeah. i believe that when akechi met the phantom thieves on 6/9, he already suspected them as being as such. and so the next day he orchestrated it so the boy he suspected as being their leader would be called on, so he could sus out his reaction to the phantom thieves while being broadcasted on live tv, and so he could use that interaction to corner him afterwards and befriend him in order to pin down his already existing suspicions. i think it was a game for both of them from the very start.

(and if you're wondering why the shido conspiracy waited so long to do anything if they knew who the phantom thieves were from the start, it's because they're playing the long game. they need to let the phantom thieves rise to stardom before they could orchestrate their downfall. the phantom thieves are extremely lucky the shido conspiracy decided to play the long game, because otherwise they would have been so fucked so quickly. they are not doing a good job of laying low or keeping their identities secret. at all.)

[silentcaps]

He's in love with you and you don't even notice

➤ inumaki toge x reader

➤ fluff, angst elements, unspoken feelings

───────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────────

Inumaki Toge is in love with you. And you don’t even notice. You take all his hints and gestures as simple kindness. He’s just that kind of person — caring and attentive. A good friend.

He always carries a notebook with him. Half of the pages are filled with standard phrases for the team. The other half — is about you. “You have the most pleasant voice.” “You smell like an April rain.” “Everything feels easier with you.”

Even if he loses the notebook, he’ll still find a way to compliment you. He’ll point at the sun, then at you. In his eyes, there’ll be a confession: “You are my light.”

The stickers on the fridge in the shared kitchen have already become part of the decor. “Don’t forget to eat,” “You can do it,” “I’m here.” You smile every time you see them. He writes them for everyone — but only yours are decorated with hearts, flowers, and little cats. He remembers that you like them. And in each message from him — there’s a little more than just a reminder.

He always notices when someone on the team feels unwell and silently hands over a bottle of water, a chocolate bar, or bandages. But to you, Inumaki gives small gifts for no reason at all. Gum with your favorite flavor. A hair clip like the one you lost. A clover-shaped keychain. You thank him with a soft smile and think, “He’s so polite.”

He keeps a journal — not a regular one, no. Cutouts, collages, drawings across the pages — all of him and his emotions. One day, you ask if you can see it. He silently nods. On the pages — you. Your photos, your silhouette, phrases cut from magazines: “a breath of air,” “quiet happiness,” “you are my song.” He watches while you flip through it, tense like a stretched string. You hand the journal back and simply say, “It’s really beautiful.”

Sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night — in a sweat after a dream where you whisper his name, kiss his neck, and he tries to respond but can’t. Even in his dreams, he holds his tongue. Even there, he doesn’t dare to break the safe silence. Because you matter too much, and with you, he can’t take the risk.

Inumaki doesn’t want to bother others, doesn’t like pity. Only with you did he share his secret: “It hurts when I speak.” That’s why he avoids harmless “hello” and “thank you.” That’s why there are always throat lozenges and mint drops in his bag. You squeezed his hand: “Thank you for telling me.” And he remembered it forever.

His greatest fear is forgetting how to speak at all. Sometimes at night, he goes up to the roof and whispers into the emptiness, just to remember what his own voice sounds like. Only you know about this. But he doesn’t let you listen — because losing you is scarier than being silent forever.

And you still remain blind and don’t see what Inumaki feels. Or maybe you don’t want to see. And yet, he stays by your side. Quiet. Steady. Until the very end.

p.s.: first drop in the tg fic channel. got applause. got praise. wasn’t ready. completely emotionally compromised.

[xohoon]

𝘐 𝘞𝘐𝘓𝘓 𝘈𝘓𝘞𝘈𝘠𝘚 𝘓𝘖𝘝𝘌 𝘠𝘖𝘜 - 𝘕𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘢 𝘙𝘪𝘬𝘪

childhood best friend!Riki x GN!reader

Summary: you were pretty popular throughout the start of your high school years in Japan, but turning 18, it suddenly changed. Riki, your childhood best friend, and now your only friend, is here to help you pursue your dream and his. Will you both make it to become an idol? Despite the confusion and uncertainty you're going through?

Genre: friends to ??, angst, sfw || words: 4.2K

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, cursing, skinship (comfort hugs, kisses.), grief. || Not proofread!

a/n: I'm rewriting my stories from tiktok on here, so practically copying myself but more text, lol. Enjoy!

Spring break is over, and it’s Monday..again. You let out a sigh as you get out of bed to get ready. Luckily you were up pretty early, so you had enough time to freshen up, get ready and eat breakfast. Normally Riki would’ve texted you when he’s on his way, but he didn’t this morning. You didn’t pay it any mind; he probably slept in. You opened the door, calling out a quick ‘goodbye’ to your mother and left for school.

You hated school. Anxiety creeping in as soon as you arrived by the gates. Which was ironic, since you were the person everyone used to love and look up to, now they despise you and make your school life a literal hell. Before you reached the gates, a big hand was put on your shoulder, followed with a bubbly “Good morning, y/n!”

You turned around to be faced with an overly happy Riki. You laughed, given his normally quieter mood in the morning. “What’s gotten you so happy in the morning?” you asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“You.” He simply replied. You visibly cringed at his choice of words, how cheesy? He swung his arm around you shoulders while chuckling, “kidding, I’m just happy because we got dance classes again. Aaand, it’s my only class with you, y/n. I look forward to it.”

You nod, happy about the fact that you still have at least one class with him, even though it’s a school’s club you both signed up for. You give him a soft smile, hiding the fact that you’re anxious as shit. How will you survive all your other classes without Riki? 

You walked into school together, speeding up your pace to get to your class faster. And what you feared happened again.

The whispers, the looks, the nagging and mockery.

“Such a freak.” One said, followed by someone else, “so pathetic, I wonder how everyone like a person who makes decisions like that when drunk.”. Laughter of mockery echoed around you like a plague.

“Just focus on me, y/n.” Riki said, holding you a bit tighter, “You’ll be okay.”

After reluctantly letting go of Riki when you had to enter your classroom, you sat down at a desk on the front row, hoping to feel at least a bit safer with a teacher having you in sight. But that thought was shut down quickly as the teacher didn’t even pay attention to you, as if she’s almost disgusted with you. And so for today, your classes felt like they went on for eternity. Until finally the bell rang that signaled it was time for your last class.

Dance practice.

Ever since the beginning of the year, you and Riki decided to be dance partners. The two of you are known as the best dancing duo. Each semester has new choreographies, including this semester. 

“Alright, everyone! For the first lessons, we want to see how well you and you partner can perform choreographies out of movies before we move on to the next project.” The teacher said.

“You definitely know what that means, y/n.” Riki said, wiggling his eyebrows, hinting at something. You shook your head vigorously, crossing your arms, “No way in hell, Riki. We’re not doing the final dance from dirty dancing.

“But it’s your favorite movie!” He protested. “Besides, we’ve practiced the fly since we were kids. We can do this, y/n, don’t be a lame.”

And with that, you’re standing in front of class, ready to perform the choreography with Riki. Well- you weren’t ready. Riki was, encouraging you to be confident. Who gives a fuck what others think..right?

You tried to cancel out the laughing of other students. Even Riki’s other friends laughed at you, they obviously disliked you for some reason. The room felt smaller with each step. But your eyes met with Riki’s. He mouthed the words of encouragement that you wanted to hear from him.

“You can do it, y/n. Trust me.”

The ending of the dance was nearing, the lifting part. You practiced this over and over again. Each time felt magical, the way you’d run towards him, his hands holding onto your waist and hoisting you up in the air. Your arms stretched out as wings as you hover above him. A moment of floating, and a deeper connection with Riki. You could do it now again, just close your eyes and go.

Go..go..and go.

His hands slightly grazing your waist, but there was no grip. The magical feeling was quickly turned into humiliation as you collided with the floor.

Laughter, whispers, looks. Again and again.

You slowly opened up your eyes, too ashamed to face everyone. The teacher ran up to you, asking you things that went into your ear and out the other. Riki. Where was Riki? You look over at his friends, seeing them doing some fucked up handshake in victory. Was this planned? Did Riki just..drop you?

Before you could yell, cry or run. Your teacher helped you out of the dance studio. “Jesus, y/n..why the hell would you do that choreography?!” your teacher asked.

“Riki and I practiced this so many times, and each time we managed to do it! Why wouldn’t we choose this?” you replied back, looking around, “talking about Riki, where did he run off to?!..”

Your teacher gave you a worried look, a hand on your shoulder to keep you calm.

“You’re dismissed, y/n. Go home and rest up.” Your teacher said. You just nodded your hand, letting out a big sigh as you make your way home.

Throughout the day you tried to call Riki for an explanation. No answer, no text, no nothing. What was his problem? Did he drop you on purpose?

Finally it’s Friday, another week of this hell hole that you survived. Riki hasn’t been to school all week, it felt empty without him, despite what happened. You felt like something was missing..

A feeling? A memory?

You quickly put the thought away, the fall is probably messing up your head. You went home, looking forward to not having to be at school for at least 2 days.

When you finally made it back home, you opened the door and kicked off your shoes. A small smile on your face as you get a whiff of your favorite dinner being made and the sound of footsteps walking towards you.

“Welcome home, y/n! You gotta sit down for this!” your mom said excitedly, pulling you in for a warm embrace. You hugged her back, feeling safe into your mother’s arms, “mom, what’s gotten you all excited?”

Without a word she pulled you towards the couch, sitting down and pulling you with her. “God, where do I even start! There are flyers everywhere that there are auditions here in Japan, honey. Different music labels are looking for new trainees!”

Your eyes widen in surprise and your gloomy mood is long forgotten. You took the flyer that your mom brought home. Reading over it. Your fingers skimming over the words. It’s really happening, they’re auditioning here, and you’re going to give your all. 

But not without him. Three months is all you got to keep practicing for this audition and you need him.

You gave your mom a side hug before standing up, “I need to show this to Riki.” You said. Before you could walk away, your mom gently grabbed your wrist, stopping you. “Honey, you know that you can’t do that, right?” she said. Why couldn’t you? You knew what happened last Monday was shitty, but it’s his dream too. One that you promised to always share. Your mother understood your silence, giving you a reassuring nod before letting you. And with that, you were on your way to find Riki.

You tried calling him twice while walking towards his house, but he doesn’t pick up. He never does.

“Fucking hell, Riki! Just pick up the goddamn phone for once!-“ before you could finish your angry voicemail. He was there, out of nowhere, in front of you.

“Looking for me, I see?” he laughed, knowing that he startled you. “So..”  he continued, “what was so important that you had to yell at your phone?”

Your mood switched from annoyed to excitement as you got to tell him about the auditions, rambling and planning away. From planning dance practices to vocal lessons, and much more. He was smiling to himself, loving your excitement and determination for this audition, and he was going to guide you in any way he could. 

“Alright, alright, y/n. Calm down. How about we start the practice with some karaoke tonight, hm?” he suggested. Ugh, you’re a sucker for some karaoke, and he knows that, how could you say no to that? You slowly nodded your head, reluctantly agreeing to go with him.

Before you could ask for an explanation for Monday, you felt his hand touching your arm, pulling you a bit closer to him. “How ‘bout a fancy dinner after, y/n?”

You cursed yourself out in your head. He’s just asking for dinner, not to kiss you, so why are your palms sweaty and is your heart racing like this? The only thing you can think of right now was his hand on your arm, his stupidly gorgeous eyes, maybe his lips as well, but anything other than the incident that happened Monday. 

Fuck it.

“A fancy dinner sounds nice, i would love to go..with you.”

You’re both strolling through the streets of Okayama, looking for a karaoke place nearby. While walking you can’t help but to think..again. The emptiness without him, that weird feeling, was it this that was missing? A spark of hope and love? It’s just dinner with your best friend, yet you can’t help feeling a sense of déjà vu. The butterflies, the gaze, it felt all too familiar. What happened that you can’t recall?

After some time you both finally found a karaoke bar. You both walk in, going up to the counter to make a reservation for tonight. Behind the counter stood a pretty girl, you recognized her from school. She’s quiet and not really popular, but she’s definitely Riki’s type. You remember in freshmen year how he was gushing over her, indicating his crush on her. 

Jealousy

You felt guilty for feeling jealous, but you couldn’t help it.

“Hey, y/n?..i’m going to the restroom real quick. Can you advance this for me, please? Dinner’s on me, i promise!” Riki said, basically heading off to the restrooms already.

You just subtly rolled your eyes and sighed, leaving you with no choice to pay. You look up at the pretty girl behind the counter, giving her your best smile to hide any jealously you felt towards her, “Hi, uhm- can I please pay for a room for 2, please? 2 hours is fine.”

The girl looked at you weirdly mostly confused, trying her best to be polite. “Oh..but you’re alone here?” she said.

You chuckled, pointing towards the restrooms, “Riki is using the restroom, im making a reservation for us.” You shouldn’t have said his name so explicitly, you just did it on purpose so the girl would most definitely know that you’re with him and he’s not with her. You once again curse yourself out in your head for being so jealous, almost possessive.

You’re still caught up in your thoughts, but got disrupted as the girl suddenly started to laugh in your face, it was humorless, almost a scoff in disgust. She raised an eyebrow at you, “Riki? As in Nishimura Riki? Are you kidding? He’s-“ she stopped talking, letting out an awkward cough to compose herself. “Do you want to pay cash or card, y/n?”

The way she said your name was giving you chills, is she jealous too? Why was she so..cold out of a sudden? You gave her a soft, but fake smile, “card, please.”

After having fun with karaoke, Riki took you out to dinner like he promised to. It was indeed fancy. Both indulging into a delicious starter, main course and desert. The ambience felt romantic, but was it just to you? It can’t be, not when he looks at you like that. His eyes sparkly, admiring you. Or is it just your imagination?

After dinner Riki walked you home, talking about everything and anything. It felt safe, he felt like home. The way you both talked and bantered like always, just with a bit more flirtation felt like a lost memory that has resurfaced again. You don’t want to lose this, lose him. Why is the urge to hold onto him so strong? Friends don’t think like that.

“I really enjoyed tonight, y/n.” he said, bringing you out of your thoughts. He pulled you into a hug, burying his face in your hair. He always used to hug you like this, why does it feel so good, yet painful?

“y/n, look at me..”

And before you know it, his lips are on yours. A soft innocent peck at first, before going in for a longer and deeper kiss. He pulls away, leaving you wanting more. At this point your head is pounding with confusing, it didn’t feel real. How didn’t it feel real?

You quickly rushed to say goodnight, heading inside. Your mother is already asleep, so you quietly make your way upstairs, throwing your phone on your bed, leaving it there as you go and take a shower. Needing to cool off and clear your head.

A feeling, a memory. What is your mind not telling you?

After your shower and getting dressed in your sleepwear, you head to bed. Grabbing your phone.

10 missed calls from an unknown number? Weird.

You decided to call them back, maybe Riki finally got the balls to ever call you after months of not even calling, picking up or texting.

“Good evening, is this y/n speaking?” a male voice on the other side of the line.

Nervously you replied back, “Hi, yes. It is. What’s going on?”

“I’m Ren, from Okayama Restaurant, you had a reservation tonight, correct?”

Okayama Restaurant? Why are they calling you? Did you forget something there? “Yes, I was there tonight, did I leave something?”

Ren scoffed on the other side of the phone, his voice more stern now, “You left the restaurant without paying. This is unacceptable, but mistakes may happen. You have a three business days to pay us back, or else there will be consequences.”

“Not payed? But-“ Ren cut you off before you could finish your sentence, “three business days, y/n. goodnight.” With that being said, Ren already hung up the phone, leaving you stunned and speechless. Not payed? How can the bill not be payed when Riki should’ve taken care of it? Anger rised up inside of you once again, the butterflies and giddy feeling forgotten. 

He left you with the bill. He didn’t pay for dinner like he promised.

A month went by, and time was ticking. You never felt worse, from dreaming about becoming an idol with Riki to doing it all by yourself. You haven’t seen or heard about Riki ever since the restaurant incident, which you paid for. School without him was hard, it felt suffocating. So you decided to just not show up and focus on your auditions. You were pushing yourself to the point where you couldn’t take it anymore.

Now here you are, sitting alone in the dance studio, wiping your own tears away from exhaustion and feeling annoyed with yourself. Thing weren’t going how you would’ve wanted them to go. Why do you need him? Too blinded with love perhaps? Whatever, all you need right now is him, to hold you and reassure you that you’ll both make it. Despite that all he does is mess with your head. 

A feeling…A memory…

What are you holding onto?

You decided to call him, is that even worth it anymore? The ringing filled the silence like a question.

Ring… Ring…

He didn’t pick up, of course he didn’t.

Desperately you wanted to hit dial again, but before you hit the button, he was there. In front of you. Looking like he didn’t even break a sweat. You didn’t hear the door opening or him even coming in, weird, but probably too caught up in your emotions. He dropped down to his knees in front of you, pulling your arm and holding you close, his soft, but cold lips planting kisses onto your temple and face. “I’m sorry, y/n..i’m so fucking sorry..” he whispers between each kiss, until the last kiss was planted on your lips. Yet again, it was cold.. it didn’t feel real, but it somehow held so much emotion. You didn’t dare to say a word, not wanting to lose him again. 

You forgave him, truth to be told, you forgave him a month ago already. You both promised to keep fighting the last two months for the audition. He promised himself to guide you, even if it was the last thing he would do. 

The last month was over. Training was done, but he finally stayed. Steady, solid..real. Telling yourself that you haven’t lost anything, so why does it feel like something in your head has already been taken?

It was the day of the audition. You woke up early to get yourself ready and prepared. The destination where the auditions were held was too long of a distance to walk, so intended to pick Riki up to drive there. You grabbed your bag, keys, and everything you needed. Hugged your mother goodbye and went out to your car, stepping into the driver’s seat. 

It had been a while since you last drove a car. Your hands gripping the steering wheel tighter.

A feeling.. A memory.. Déjà vu…

A wave of nausea washed over you, taking deep breaths in and out to prevent yourself from throwing up. “It’s probably just nerves.” You tell yourself, calming down slowly, and driving off to pick Riki up.

The wait in the waiting room felt like an eternity, you have never felt this nervous. Riki who was waiting beside you grabbed your hand, stroking over the back of your hand with his thumb, “you’re going to be okay, y/n. I believe in you.”

You looked down at your hand intertwined with his before moving your gaze back up to his face, “aren’t you nervous, ki? You’re acting like i’m the only one auditioning today when you’re doing it as well!”

Riki simply let out a small laugh, telling you that he is more nervous for you than he is for himself. He kept reassuring you, until your name was called.

“Good luck, y/n. I know that you can do it.” He said with the biggest smile on his face. You gave him a nervous little wave, “you too, Rikster. I know that you can do it too!”

And with that said, you were ready to give in you’re all to the judges.

Clapping, whistles and happiness.

Unlike the laughter and mockery you’ve gotten used to. Your heart was beating loud in your chest, letting out a big breath that you didn’t know you were holding in, when the words you always dreamed of, were being said.

“Congratulations, y/n! We would absolutely love to fly you out to Korea and take you in for training.”

As soon as you saw Riki again, you jumped up and down, holding his hands while he was laughing. “Can you believe it?! I passed!” you said excitedly, stopping with jumping to look him better in the eyes, “did you pass, ki? When will you hear something?”

Riki gave you a soft smile, his hand coming up to cup your cheek, “they told me that they’ll let me know, y/n.” his thumb is softly stroking your cheek now, “come on, let’s celebrate! You’re leaving to Korea after all. We gotta make the best of it here in Japan.” He said. You nodded, you would have to leave your mother and Japan behind to pursue your dream with Riki. So you have to make the most if it while you’re still here.

The day is here, it’s time to leave, to start anew. “Riki, the uber is here in 10, hurry your ass up!” you shout. Riki has been quiet the last few days..too quiet. He never told you if he passed the auditions or not, but seeing his eyes sparkle each time you talked about it. You just assumed that he did. “Rikster, you’re too quiet, aren’t you happy that we made it?”

Riki looked down at his feet, a soft smile creeping in before he looks back at you, “no, y/n. You did it. You did it all on your own.” You let out a scoff, “what? No. you made it too, and we did this all together! I couldn’t have done this without you, Riki..”

Riki kept looking at you, no hint of anger or sadness, just pure pride and happiness. You started to get annoyed, why is he messing with your head..again? “Cut the bullshit, Riki! We’re going together, and that’s final.”

“Do you really not remember, y/n?” he whispered under his breath. 

No?..no. You don’t remember. Your head is spiraling, but Riki’s happy expression didn’t falter, you were only met with his lovely smile, and now somber eyes.

“Your eighteenth birthday party, y/n. Do you really not remember?” He said, your eyes desperately looking into his, trying to find anything behind them.

“I love you.” He said, but he said it like he said it to you a million times. Tears of frustration and confusion well up in your eyes, “Riki, what is this all of a sudden?”

“We said our ‘I love you’s’, y/n. We confessed to each other.” He said.

A feeling.

He continued, “We went for a drive, under the influence, to celebrate our new relationship.”

Déjà vu.

And lastly he said, “we got into a car accident, y/n.”

A memory.

...

His smile faltered for a bit, looking more concerned than sad, “apparently your memory loss still isn’t over and-“ 

Before he could finish his sentence, there was a loud honk outside, signaling that the uber had arrived.

You don’t know what to say, the only thing on your mind is getting you and Riki in that uber, and fly out to Korea to pursue your dreams, “I know that I love you, Riki, more than friends, and I realized that with the memories I created anew this past year. Just please, let’s get into that uber and we’ll talk everything out when we’re settled in Korea.”

You turned around to open the door, but the sound of Riki’s scoff through sniffles caught you off guard.

“You really have no idea, do you?”, his voice hinting at disappointment, frustration and weakness. And the words that you never expected to leave his mouth, did.

“I…didn’t survive the crash, y/n.”

You felt the world crumble underneath you, everything hitting you at once, another feeling, another memory.He’s dead. Your best friend, your rock, your lover, died. Because of you.

You were the driver. You stepped behind the wheel under the influence, and dragged Riki with you. 

Everything started to make sense now. No shit that everyone hates you. You’re the one to blame that Riki is gone, someone’s friend, someone’s son.

 That Monday that he ‘dropped’ you? He wasn’t there to catch you in the first place, no wonder that everyone laughed. You probably looked fucking stupid. The pretty girl at the karaoke place? Riki’s freshmen year crush. She knew he was dead because of you, she just let you pay for two persons instead. 

The unpaid bill; you ate alone. Riki was never with you. The phone calls that are left unanswered; Riki couldn’t answer cause he’s gone.

The kisses that felt cold and unreal, felt like that because you never got to feel them. Your mind holding on to the last bit it could remember when he kissed you before you both drove off, drunk

“But..i can see you! Why didn’t you tell me right away! Why?..” tears streaming down your face as you’re looking for answers, answers that you already know.

Riki sighed, his expression softening once again, “because i’m in your head, y/n. I can’t tell you what you have to figure out on your own. Every scenario, including this one, is all your own doing and thoughts. You’re imagining me, holding on to every last but that you know and feel about me.”

Outside was the uber honking again. Indicating that he’s getting impatient. 

Riki stepped closer, wrapping his arms around, like a guardian angel spreading it’s wings to embrace you, “I was only here to guide you, y/n. That was my last wish.” He pulled away slightly, to look at your tear streaked face, “you have to go, love. You can do this without me.”

You look back into his eyes, crying and begging for it to be a dream, the feeling of guilt that you’ll hold forever with you weighs heavily. You took his dream, and now you have to pursue it for the both of you.

“It’s okay, y/n. I forgave you a long time ago. Please..don’t cry anymore.”

He cupped your face, giving the softest and most meaningful last kiss on your lips. It felt warm, it felt real, it was him.

“I will always love you, y/n.”

The End.

a/n: rewriting this made me cry lol. I want to thank @dazzlingjaeyun for getting me into writing again hihi. I hope this will receive some love and support. love you all, mwah!

[borderlineex]

₊˚⊹౨ fault lines ৎ ₊˚⊹

dean winchester x reader (part 2)

read part 1 here

cw and pairing : bittersweet :c 𓏲 earlyseasons!dean x hospitalised!reader 𓏲 fluff 𓏲 themes of injury, car accident, medical trauma, and memory loss

summary : Dean is devastated to realize you have no memory of him or the life you shared, but he hides his heartbreak behind gentle care and unwavering presence. Despite the pain, he finds a bittersweet comfort in reintroducing himself, clinging to the hope that you might fall for him all over again.

a/n : I've been working on this series for a while now, but I'll be slowly posting the parts (there will be a lot lol) and I find the idea of the reader who lost their memory and has to re-kindle with their bf sooo cute so I hope you guys enjoy part 2!! pls don't let it flop T-T (i did try to make this part longer since I wanted to leave part 1 in suspense)

"Who are you?"

His eyes widen momentarily, surprised that you're asking him that, but he quickly reigns in his shock and tries to collect himself. For a few moments, he's left dumbfounded but finds his words quickly.

"You don't... you don't remember me, sweetheart?" Dean asks hesitantly, his gaze fixed on you with a mixture of worry and confusion.

"I'm sorry, I- I don't know you."

His heart sinks a little as you speak, and panic starts to rise up in his chest. The way you're looking at him - it's like you have no recollection at all. Dean swallows heavily, trying not to let the fear show.

"You... you seriously don't remember me? At all?!" he manages to say, his hand remaining on your chin.

You shake your head - his eyes never leave your face, searching yours desperately for even a hint of recognition, but he sees none.

"Damnit," he mumbles under his breath, running a hand through his hair, clearly distressed. This was much, much worse than he expected.

He looks at you intensely.

"How far back do you remember, then?"

"I-,"

He notices your hesitation, his green eyes narrowing slightly.

"Go ahead, sweetheart. Tell me." His tone is gentle yet insistent, the need to understand your memory loss driving him. His other hand finds yours, fingers intertwining instinctively. You touch your head in an attempt to examine what was going on, but wince in pain at the feeling.

"Hey, careful." Dean's free hand immediately moves to stop yours from touching the bandaged areas on your head. "You don't want to aggravate that."

He scoots a little closer, concern etched on his features. "How much does it hurt?"

Ignoring his question, you ask, "What happened?" while looking up at him with glassy eyes, which his gaze softens at. Damn he missed you.

His expression turns serious. "You were in a car accident," he answers bluntly. "You got hurt pretty bad."

He leans closer, his fingers still intertwined with yours while he gently strokes the back of your hand with his thumb. "What's the last thing you remember before waking up here?"

"If I'm being completely honest, I don't even remember being put in this place," you proceed to look around the room before locking eyes with Dean once again.

"Nothing?" His eyebrows furrow, and he's unable to hide the disbelief in his voice.

Dean exhales slowly, trying to keep his composure. This was far more serious than he'd thought. No memory whatsoever? He tries a different angle. "Do you remember your name at all, sweetheart?"

"Why do you keep calling me sweetheart?"

Dean blinks, taken aback by the question. He'd been subconsciously calling you that for so long it had become second nature. Aside from the fact that you had been dating for 3 years.

"I..." he starts, then pauses, clearly caught off guard. "Well, I... that's just what I usually call you," he explains awkwardly.

His grip on your hand tightens a bit as the weight of your lack of memory really hits him. He tries to keep it together, for your sake and his.

"Do you... even know who I am?"

You proceed to shake your head with a slight frown on your face, visibly affected by Dean's yearning manner.

He swallows hard, the weight of your words making his chest tight. You didn't remember your name, and worse, you had no idea who he was. It was like he was a complete stranger to you.

This was a nightmare.

"Right," he manages to say after a moment, his voice gruff. "So... let me try something."

Dean's eyes lock on yours intently. "How old are you?"

You open your mouth to speak before closing it again - the way you fall silent is like a punch to his gut. He'd been hoping that you at least would remember something as basic as your age, and the fact that you seem unable to even speak it leaves him sick with worry.

He tries to keep his voice soft, his fingers gently squeezing your hand. "Take your time. Just... try again."

"Twentyy...," your eyebrows furrow, clearly attempting to dig into the back of your mind to look for the answer. Finally, you give up and pretend like nothing happened. "Maybe you should answer my question first- who are you?"

Jesus Christ… The question hits him like a blow to the chest, and he can't help but clench his jaw in helplessness. Not only do you not remember him, but you also don't recall being together. This whole situation was worse than he thought.

"I'm… I'm your boyfriend, sweetheart," Dean finally speaks up, his voice gruff with suppressed emotion.

He notices your eyes soften - the shift in your gaze causes a fluttering feeling in his stomach, hope sparking that maybe, just maybe... you still recognize him in some way.

He leans even closer, his hand still tightly grasping yours. His expression is intense, almost desperate, as he searches your gaze for the smallest hint of recollection.

"Sweetheart...?" he prompts quietly.

"Hm?"

There it was again. That feeling of hope.

The way you tilt your head at him, your gaze softening... it was somewhat familiar to him.

"Say my name..." he says quietly, the words nearly a plea. Your eyebrows proceed to furrow in confusion as your head tilts slightly.

Damn it...

The furrow of your eyebrows only adds to the despair he feels. You were so close to remembering him, to the life you shared together, but it was like trying to grab smoke.

He lets out a frustrated breath, his grip involuntarily tightening a bit on your hand.

"Come on, sweetheart," he continues, his voice low and gruff. "Please just say my name.."

"I'm sorry- I really don't know-,"

Your soft apology only strengthens the growing desperation he feels. He lets out a sigh, his thumb still caressing the back of your hand in a comforting gesture.

"Don't apologize," he murmurs, shaking his head. "Not your fault."

A moment of quiet passes between you as he struggles with the wave of emotions crashing over him. He can feel his shoulders sag slightly as he leans closer, his voice almost a whisper.

"You really don't remember anything about me, huh?"

"I mean- you seem really sweet," you say in a friendly tone and giggle softly, "quite handsome too."

He can't help it; a small, weary smile tugs at the corners of his lips. Even in this messed-up situation, you could still manage to make him feel better with your words.

His thumb continues its gentle caress on the back of your hand, the small action almost becoming a grounding element for him.

"You think I'm handsome?" he asks, a touch of his usual confidence peeking through his weary demeanor.

"Mhmm." a warm, hearty laugh slips out.

That laugh. That laugh...

It was so familiar to him, and the sound of it causes his heart to clench in both affection and sorrow. You were here, physically with him now, yet so far out of reach because of the damn memory loss.

He swallows heavily, his gaze softening. "Damn it..." he mumbles under his breath, his fingers entwining more firmly with yours.

"Hm?"

God, this was so frustrating...

You were right there, talking to him, laughing, but you didn't even remember who he was. It was making him feel both relieved and utterly helpless at the same time.

"Nothing..." he mutters, shaking his head.

His free hand moves up to gently brush a loose strand of hair away from your face, his thumb lingering against your cheek for a moment. His touch is gentle, almost reverent.

And oh that smile. It's a punch to the gut, that simple smile of yours, and for a moment, he finds himself just... looking at you.

His fingers absently continue to brush against your cheek, tracing gently along your jawline.

He can't help but give a weary sigh as he keeps his gaze fixed on you, his voice gruff. "Damn, you have no idea what you do to me, sweetheart..."

"I'd love to get to know you again, you know."

Those words..

They make his heart ache, both with hope and sorrow, all at once. The idea of you wanting to get to know him again, even as a stranger, causes a mix of emotions to swirl within him.

He can't help but chuckle softly, a bittersweet smile on his face.

"Be careful what you wish for," he replies, his thumb still absentmindedly caressing your cheek. "I can be a damn pain in the ass, you know."

"It's like if we met for the first time... again."

A soft huff leaves him as he considers your words. Meeting for the first time... again.

It was both ironic and a little heartbreaking. You were a blank slate, no memory of the time you'd shared together... yet here you were, expressing curiosity and openness towards him.

He leans a little closer, his expression soft. "Yeah... in a way, it sorta is like meetin' for the first time. Again."

"I still need to know your name so…" you stick your hand out for him to shake, "I'm.. you have to help me out here", you say with a soft chuckle.

God, you were going to be the death of him.

The way you stick out your hand, asking for a damn handshake with that sweet laugh, was just... too much.

But he doesn't hesitate. He doesn't complain. He just takes your hand in his, his large, calloused palm enveloping yours completely.

"Your name is Y/N and mine's Dean," he says gruffly, giving your hand a firm yet gentle shake. "Dean Winchester."

"Well, it's nice to meet you Dean."

You were right. This was like meeting for the first time - the way your eyes sparkled, Dean felt like he was fully in a trance. He felt as though butterflies danced around in his stomach - just like on your first date.

It should be ridiculous. Hearing you say "nice to meet you" and knowing that you have absolutely no memory of him whatsoever, and all the time you'd spent together.

But damn it all, he can't help but feel a strange sense of satisfaction from it.

He returns the sentiment, his voice gruff yet sincere. "Pleasure's all mine, sweetheart."

He holds on to your hand for a little longer than necessary, his thumb gently tracing over your knuckles before he reluctantly lets go.

His gaze remains fixed on you, watching for any flicker of recognition in your eyes, even though logically, he knows it's unlikely.

"There," he murmurs, a hint of a small smile on his face. "Now we're properly introduced, I guess."

There's a brief moment of comfortable silence between you two, just the soft sound of your uneven breathing and the steady hum of the medical equipment nearby.

Dean can't help but study your face, his gaze tracing the features he'd come to know so well - the slight furrowing of your brows, the curve of your lips, the way your hair drapes gently on your shoulders... even the small things like a freckle on your cheek he'd kissed a hundred times.

Yet he had to act like he was seeing them for the first time.

His mind is a maelstrom of thoughts and emotions. He's relieved you're alive and awake, but the fact that you've lost all memory of him... it's a constant ache in his chest. He wants to hold you, pull you close, shower you with affection, but what good would that do when you don't even remember him?

creds to @anitalenia for the divider !!

[earlgreyiced]

DUMB & DUMB

Jungwon x female reader

Your crush has been one sided, but little did you know....

Reminder: engenes is referred as Aenjin in story

Genre: fluff, romance, highschool themed

You have been crushing on this boy in your year for years now. Goes by the name Yang jungwon, jungwon for all and wonnie for his closest friends. You can't remember when did you developed sparks for him but it has always been your source of joy.

You were quite close back in first year of middle school as deskmates, was in the same clique as well. Then, the friendship has been on and off as class system seperates you guys but he still shots a hi with small talks whenever he sees you. He always lends a hand whenever possible and you truly looked up to him.

Jungwon was always the top of the class and a council member. Very diligent, smart and besides, a softie— this doesn't signify him as a weakling, it's one of his strong suit of being able to empathize and be genuine in his acts, he always know what to say and not, what to do and don't. Not like the other immature boys .

Liking him has made you see yourself in another perspective, and it actually made you feel good about yourself. Just like him, you have your own strong points. Just like him, you can improve your grades. Just like him, you can work to achieve your goals.

Just like him

Just him

Like him

Like him

Like him

I like him

You never hinted that you ever liked him. Well you thought it's unncessary since it's one sided anyways. You thought you won't be bothered considering you can always admire him from afar and continue those little small talks whenever you met him. Exclude the time rumors spread that jungwon was dating another member of the council, you had salt water running from your eyes for weeks.

Well, it's in the past now. Yet your feelings unwavered.

Walking back home from your usual club functions, you saw the familiar figure beside the school gates crouching down. "Jungwon?" You called. The boy didn't respond seeming occupied with something on the ground, as you step closer your heart melted.

Gosh, he is so cute.

Jungwon was focused on a cat, calling it a few times and seemed entertained by it "meow meow".

"Pffftt" you accidentally snickered loud behind him and he immediately stood up surprised.

"Oh my god! Oh it's you Aenjin" with jolted eyes he fixed jacket and act busy. You noticed the awkward neck rubbing and red ear. Woops

"Hey jungwon, sorry to startle you."

"No no no it's alright. Glad it was you or others would be teasing about it." He chuckled. You don't know why it somehow made you happy, he's glad that it was you...

"Uhhm... hey do you wanna walk home together?" Jungwon asked.

You stopped working, what did he just say? home? Together? All those million voices inside your head screaming at each other, heat waves rushing in your whole body, steam bursting out your ears. A "Yeah" slipped from your lips

It was a silent walk, just as you expected. However, felt like torture as fearing that the beats of your heart will be heard. To makes things worse, your bus arrives in another 30 minutes...

"My bus arrives 2 minutes earlier than yours."

"Yep" you pursed your lips.

Second wave of silence. You fidget your hands thinking of anything to clear the air but he beat you to it.

"it's been a long time since we walk home."

"Right, since we have different schedules and stuff." You awkward chuckled and scratched the side of your face with a finger.

Jungwon squinted a little " do you remember back in middle school..."

In such a way, you both started conversing more than usual. Giggles and laughs arised from the cherished memories.

"Hahaha yeah... and i had a crush on you back then."

"Too bad it was back then." You slipped.

"WHAT?" both of you snapped

"Wait what? You had a crush on me back then?"

"Wait what do you mean too bad that it was back then???" Jungwon gasped in disbelief

Both of your heads were spinning from this.

"Wait, I'm sorry can we take a moment?" You blinked hard.

After a sip of water jungwon started "Actually...i had a crush on you back then in middle school. For quite a long time." His words sounded like it's not over.

You looked at him, waiting for a continuation

"And i still do."

You fall silent processing the information you just heard. You furrowed your brows in confusion "so my feelings are not unrequited? So like it's requited? like we like each other back then and like right now?" You rambled innocently

Both of you stared at each other

"Wow... i really didn't know you like me like that." Jungwon's voice small, smile wide.

"Yeah well, I'm good at hiding it. Especially since you dated that council member of yours." You sounded sassy, the thought of him being oblivious to your feelings and the rumours from back then slightly irked you.

"I never dated her! That was just rumours, we were just working together i swear."

"Oh but the rumour said otherwise, heard that you guys hang in the club longer just to date."

"Aenjin you gotta believe meee. You always believed me, come onnn."

"BLABLABLA CAN'T HEAR YOUU." You playfully cover your ears and sticking a tongue out.

This is what your middle school days was like. You felt fresh and young again, stomach flipping like it's the first time again.

"I swear on my dog that i never dated her." He said locking eyes and swiftly wraps your hands in his.

"Alright alright i was just joking." a wave of electricity hits when he touched and jolted your heart to thump even faster.

Jungwon sees your red painted cheeks and still did not let go. He saw your breath hitching, eyes avoiding his gaze, he is doing this on purpose. He is enjoying this reaction of yours

"Jungwon... my hand...wait! OH MY GOD WHAT TIME IS IT."

"Oh don't worry– OH SHIT WE MISSED OUR BUS!!"

"Jungwon...." you gave him a tired look, you guys would always missed the bus too back then each time the talking starts.

"Guess you are stuck with me" jungwon beamed

With the time you guys have, jungwon is certainly forcing you to tell your part of the story🙂‍↔️.