#this is made up. its literally just made up. if i reject it entirely im still in another binary of ''binary vs nonbinary''

[misandrynistic]

idk if im cis or if im nb or fucking what. i know im a girl, im tme, and im not a man except for when the bigender part of my brain crawls down from the attic like a spider and speaks through me like im a human ouija board. thats it. thats all i know. that tweet thats like "im probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn" but its "im probably cis but im unemployed and have brain issues so idrc about that rn"

[fou4summer]

I'm your one true love

yoo jaeyi × fem!reader

Synopsis: You knew that Jaeyi liked you, and you liked her too, but you always tried to deny it by dating other people. Then one day, after your recent breakup, Jaeyi comforts you and brightens your entire next day, eventually it makes you both confess.

Warnings: none

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Word count: 1.7k

You were in multiple relationships and they all ended up the same way. With you being cheated on or just both of you just deciding that it wont work out. After every breakup you would go to your bestfriend, Jaeyi, who always comforted you and made you forget about it easily.

She never had anyone even tho the whole school is head over heels for her. She would always say how she already has someone she likes. At first you would always annoy her to tell you who it is, but over time you kinda got it yourself. It was you.

You thought it would eventually stop and that it was just a stupid crush she had on you. Not until you started to feel the mutual feelings about her too. When things would get too risky like you two sitting alone too close to each other, you would always lie that theres a new guy that you like. Everytime her mood would shift, her smile dropping. One time it was a bit more than that...

You were in your room, watching movies and having fun. There was a romantic scene going on in one and she took glances at you. You turned your head towards her and you were inches away from each other.

Her hand was moving slowly on top of yours as she leaned closer. The worst of all you didn't back away. You even put your hand on her shoulder pulling her closer. Until you realized that this could ruin your friendship forever, and you would lose your best friend.

"I'm sorry I really can't do this..." You remove her hand away and stand up from your bed.

"You know I like that guy and-" You try to make up something, but she cuts you off.

"I'm gonna go..." She picks her bag and leaves before you could stop her. You heard in her shaky voice that she was about to cry. You felt so stupid for doing this to her. She was the best choice for you and you knew it.

Come on she rejected half the school and the most popular boys were being pathetic asking her out, but she refused to even look at them. Her eyes were always on you.

-

Now you were with this one guy. I mean he was popular, handsome and not that nice, but not rude. You got a bit of popularity while being with him so that was a plus too. Even tho you deep down knew you would be much more popular and happy if you were with Jaeyi. You just avoided the thoughts.

You were sure you found the perfect guy, until you caught him cheating right in front of you. You were actually a bit broken cause that was your longest relationship. You broke up with him after he tried to tell you how it 'isn't what it looks like'. You heard that sentence so many times you could literally predict when he would say it.

You were still friends with Jaeyi after that night that happened months ago from now. She apologized and it broke you even more.

You were in your room, crying and you felt horrible about doing that, but you still called Jaeyi. It was actually pretty late, around midnight, but she still picked up in an istant.

"Y/N? Is everything alright? Did something happen?" Her voice was raspy and tired making you smile to yourself that she cares about you that much to answer even this late.

"Hey Jaeyi...I'm sorry that im calling this late...It's just that he cheated on me and I broke up with him and I don't know what to do..." You sobbed between words wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

"Oh its okay sshhh...Do you want me to come over?" She said her voice calm and non-judgemental. You quickly replied with a quiet 'yes', feeling like a jerk for doing this to her.

"I'll be there in five minutes...Okay?" Her voice made you calm down a little, knowing that she'll be there soon. You ended the call and unlocked the front door. She opened the door coming in quietly so your parents don't wake up.

"Hey..." She peeked through the door of your room making you sit up a bit. When you saw her you started crying again.

"Y/N...It's okay now...I'm here..." She pulls you into a hug, wrapping her arms around you, holding you close. You put your head against her sweatshirt, soaking it with tears. She caressed your back while whispering sweet things to you until your crying stopped.

"How about we lie down hm?" She whispered and you just nodded. She lied down with your head resting on her chest.

"I'm sorry Jaeyi...I'm sorry..." You couldn't explain anything, but she knew what you were apologizing for.

"It's okay Y/N...I forgive you..." She ran her hand through your hair, making you feel sleepy.

"I love you..." You mumbled against her, your hand resting on her shoulder.

"I love you too Y/N...I love you so much..." Her words made you tear up again, but you didn't want to worry her again, so you just kept quiet until you both fell asleep.

-

You woke up to your mom calling you to eat. You groaned before looking at the time. It was 1PM already. You never slept that long. You also noticed that Jaeyi was gone. You ran out of your room, finding your parents at the table, both confused by your action.

"Where is Jaeyi?" They both smile at your face expression before your mom answered.

"She left awhile ago. She doesn't sleep till afternoon like someone here. She left you a note on your desk, you should check it out after having lunch." Your mom says placing food on your plate.

After eating, you hurried to your room to see the note she left you. It was on your desk and it said.

Come to todays school festival with me please. 6PM at the school gate. I'm looking forward to it and I have a suprise:)

Jaeyi

You smile at the note before turning around to find your mom standing there.

"You better not say that 'you are going out with some guy already' Y/N." She crossed her arms waiting for your answer.

"Don't worry, I'm going with Jaeyi this time. And stop reading my stuff!" You yell as you run to the bathroom to get ready.

-

You arrive at the school gate, about to text her, but you felt someone already tap your shoulder. When you turn around, you see Jaeyi in a beautiful pink cardigan that matched the pink tulips in her hand.

"This is my suprise!" She gives you the flowers making you smile and jump into her hug as she wraps her arms around you. She smelled just as gorgeous as she looked.

"Come on lets go!" You take her hand in yours before stepping into the festival.

That day was maybe the best one in your life. You ate popcorn, cotton candy and had cold drinks laughing and teasing each other all day. You went to the ballpit spending hours there like little kids.

-

You were now sitting at the bench that had a really nice view. You both looked at the stars as her hand slowly touched yours. It was obvious, she was nervous not wanting to make you uncomfortable. Not this time. You took her hand intertwining your fingers together and placing them in your lap.

She turned around to find you already looking at her. She was so cute and adorable. You were thinking to yourself 'How did I manage to reject this person so many times when she was the only one making me this happy?' She nervously smiled looking at you. You didn't want her to think that you'll do the same again.

You slowly leaned in, closing the distance between you. You felt her stiffen a bit, but she quickly relaxed kissing you back. You placed your arms around her neck, pulling her closer. One of her hands went down on your waist while the other caressed your face. You both broke the kiss to catch your breaths. You realized that no one kissed you like that before. It was so full of pure love.

"D-do you like the flowers...?" She broke the silence, her voice nervous and shy. You smiled nodding, making her smile too. You sat there looking at the stars and you kissed her a few more times making her smile into each one.

-

"Sooo...How did you like today?" You were walking back from the festival, holding hands.

"It was amazing. Thank you Jaeyi...You really made my day..." That made her chuckle squeezing your hand a little.

"Always." She looked at the beautiful sky above you. You wanted to just tell her that directly, your feelings for her. You stopped walking making her turn around confused and a bit worried.

"Is everything okay?" She asked and you give her a small nod before taking a deep breath. She needed to hear this.

"Jaeyi...I've liked you all this time. I just-I just didn't want to ruin our friendship or whatever...I was stupid and-" You were cut off by her lips against yours. The kiss turned into a bit more as her hands sneaked under your shirt resting on your lower back.

"You don't know how long i've waited for you to say that. You made me wait for so long..." She took your hand placing it on her cheek and you blushed at how she nuzzled her head into your hand.

"I'm sorry Jaeyi, but now I'll make it up to you for all those years rejecting you. I promise." You told her as she pulled you closer.

"Y/N...Will you be my girlfriend?" You smile instantly nodding and kissing her again.

"I knew from the start that I was always your true love..." She says against your lips before leaning in for more, but you stop her.

"Oh wow stop that!" You hit her arm playfully and she laughs.

She walks you to your house. You kiss and giggle a bit more in front before you eventually go home. Unfortunately your mom saw that and teased you for the whole month saying how she knew from the start. You never lost your bestfriend, she just became the best girlfriend that you never want to lose.

[ganondoodle]

saw a few posts talking about ganondorf and while i dont want to uh .. risk having to argue with strangers ... i cant shut up entirely (you know me)

(in my opinion that is probably missing alot or just not as well read as a lot of others since i really just say what i feel instead of knowing what im talking about-)

its kinda hard to really talk about him bc hes so .... steeped into tired old stereotypes and harmful tropes with intentionally so little else, if anything, that you almost always end up playing into them if you just take what canon tells you (and alot of people love defending it too :/ )

to what degree is it really his character and what is literally just some things that were decided he does to make it clear hes the one note evil guy, to justify whatever horror is done to him and overshadow/bury what anyone else has done, to not think about maybe he had a point bc look how much bad stuff he does! if you made him fight for the freedom/sovereignity of his own people against an oppressive hyrule he would be in the right- so ACTUALLY he opresses them violently and selfishly even WORSE and then wants to murder everyone tm that dont bow to him bc thats what evil people do! and hyrule is justified in taking them over in turn bc their rule wont opress them :)

its like a game of trying to one up whatever hyrule did with something more bad tm bc otherwise it gets hard to justify killing him over and over

im not saying hes not allowed to be prideful, selfish or violent of whatever, but you gotta know that all of that IS one of those ways that is supposed to make it clear how evil tm the desert guy is; it doesnt matter what hyrule has done bc look! ganondorf is so much worse! and im sure hyrule had their reasons :)

hes never actually allowed to interact with his own people, hes isolated/alienated from them and their culture constantly, hes their king yet he .... violently takes over "free" gerudo villages (what? what for?? what does "free" even mean? they werent following him? their king?? were they .. allied with hyrule, who are good tm, which means they were living in paradise aka "free"? (bc they are good ones tm bc they rejected their evil one in a hundred year man king ruling violently over only women .. *cough*)), yet hes never seen fighting alongside his own people (the most is them .. silently serving him in what, one scene??) and then he drops them the second he has evil MONSTERS to fight for him instead and orders them to kill every living thing or something bc thats obviously evil, he doesnt even care about his own people! how evil! why would he do that? idk, hes the sole, selfish violent evil man opressing his own people, who are all women! that what they do! and WE need to free them from HIM (and they should be thankful to us for it and try to attone for ever having birthed him in the first place) (or he is the reason tm why they suffered/were wiped out and he is literally the sole survivor of his people, bc he doesnt care about ANYONE but himself)

i dont mean he has to be a goody two shoes character (you can be an ass and still do good/be in the right btw) bc more often than not what that actually means is being allied with hyrule bc those are the designated good guys and being on their side makes you automatically good (eugh) but do you rly want to just ... play along with all the propaganda?

imo, aside from being obviously racist, thats also so boring? does selfish, violent evil man king with no people (bc hes not part of them or fighting for them, hes always presented as the worse oppressor) and nothing else to him that only wants to murder bc ... idk evil? sound interesting to you? (to the point that the ONLY time we were shown literally any sort of vunerabillity, end of ww, that theres people trying to argue he was trying to to manipulate you even there?? what for? why? are you trying to reject literally the one glimpse we are allowed into his perspective qoq)

why do alot of people reject the idea so much to consider he actually cared about them, how maybe that prideful and selfish look is just a facade, or even a fabrication? violence that had to be met with violence, not for any sort of selfish reasons, but for his people and was met with a fight he could not win yet kept fighting on, perhaps losing himself more and more in the process, or a lie told so often that it became reality, if someone has nothign left to lose, if all was taken from them, maybe even blamed on them, why not play into what you where made out to be, you cant convince them otherwise anyway its the reason hes never shown to have done a single nice thing, never seen non angry/smug smiling, how he has no one at his side unless he forced them, how he is not allowed to be human even a little bit, never shown being anything but a boring ass trope personified, hes less a character and more a big bundle of racist tropes that fights you at the end (sorry) while looking epic so trying to meaningfully analyze him just by what we are told and shown in canon will always fall kinda flat or end up playing righ into every shitty trope

that is my opinion :I

[mouse-doubleo100]

been playing date everything recently, pretty fun game, got some good writing and fun characters in there, solid time

what the fuck is the world building here???

because at first glance i was like ‘they’re just the concepts behind the objects, not the literal objects’, yknow, like the greek gods, because certain characters appear in multiple locations, the door is every door in the house, every chair is the same chair, etc… and also some of them are flat out concepts, like i met the rejection guy after immediately calling lux a cunt, and hes obviously not an object, so surely then it cant be literal objects right?

then theres some characters that are much more personalised to the house, which is fine, cause then i was like ‘oh ok so its localised, every door in this house is the same guy, but if i went to someones elses house, their doors would be a different guy’, arguably makes more sense this way, though it leaves a question mark on those concept guys, but they might just be separate being entirely, so whatever

but then i talked to the towel, and he talks about there being eight different towels in his old house, which means that in a singular house multiple versions of the same object can exist, except in this house, he is every towel, which means??? how can he be both a specific towel, and every towel simultaneously? i think hes a relatively new towel as well, if im remembering correctly, so then does that mean that the house just didnt have a towel person living there, or did something happen to them once the new guy showed…

then theres the memory girl, who explicitly says that the player made her, but she is made up of a bunch of storage items, and even once those are on display around so house, she is still them, but surely those objects at one point had their own personalities, especially since memory girl didnt exist before they were all stored together, so what happened to them all? did they fuse into one being, or did memory girl overwrite their personalities to replace with her own? this isnt an isolated incident either, the memory capsule became the concept of the 80s, but surely those objects were sentient beforehand, so what happened to them? does this mean that the characters that are multiple objects essentially killed other objects an replaced their consciousness with their own? if i were to buy a new chair, would that chair be the chair girl again, or would it be someone new? would it remain someone new?

then there’s also just the logistics of this world as a whole, like theres an object economy? some of them have jobs so clearly there must be right?what are they buying with the object money? is the object money also sentient? is there an entire extra level of object objects that have their own society as well? the goal of the game is to ultimately bring these objects to life so they can exist in the real world right? but theres clearly a whole society that they already exist in when the player isnt around, so why would they want to exist in the real world instead? i havent actually made any of them ‘real’ yet so maybe that one does have an answer, but its like if you took one of the mice from ‘the great mouse detective’ and made them human, like sure, theyre a person now, but they had a whole life back in mouse london that they now cant go back to, and why they choose to be human instead of a mouse, where they already have all their mouse friends? idk i think thats just kinda fucked up imo

the medical supplies wears a hijab, which means that shes muslim right? does that mean that there is object religion that mirrors regular religions, or does she just believe in our Allah? how would she know about Allah, do the objects have childhoods? was she raised muslim, or did she discover religion on her own? did she just come into being religious? is it even a conscious choice to wear the hijab, or is it just a part of her existence? do they buy clothes with the previously established object money, or do they just exist in a singular form?

if the dirty clothes and the clean clothes are the same guy, but act differently depending on the state, when does one become the other? how many clothes go into the hamper before they swap over? would there be a point where they both exist simultaneously? is it just location, or is it something more? if i throw clean clothes into the clothes thingy, would they be the dirty version or the clean version? is it purely presentation based, or is it based upon worn-ness? are they conscious when they are worn, or do they stop existing at that point?

also ghosts exist. that doesnt really tie into the rest of my points, but i feel its still very important to mention

im probably not even scratching the surface of all this, ive only encountered like half the objects, and only completed maybe fifteen routes, so theres probably a bunch more other insane stuff in this game thats gonna make me lose my mind at some point

am i overthinking all of this, and its just a silly game about dating objects? yes. is there any definitive answers to anything ive asked here? probably not. but consider: its fun to overthink stuff sometimes

[yearningandstillnotlearning]

𝐑𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞.

- B.E.

AnoTHA ONE☝️ blurb leave me alone | again no use of names, just variations of “she” and “you”

A/n: did i get sad? Yes. Did i decide to make something out of it? Also yes. Is this projecting? Maybe.(Yes.) || I projected my tendency to literally run from home when i get too upset because i need to relieve my angrers energy into something thats not entirely destructive FHFEJJKS

i don’t know if this can be categorised as angst/comfort ?? But!!1!1!! (Its surrounded by comfort but whats comfort without the need for it)

Summary: You and Billie have been together long enough for her to see your vulnerable side, it didn’t take long to but it did take a lot of strength to. And this happens to be one of those times where you need nothing more in the world than to go home!

——･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─: *.☽ .* :─ ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.——

A blurry road ahead, a big blob of blended colours and shapes danced to the sound of irregular nose-huffs. Forehead sweaty and a hefty backpack bouncing on your back.

You’ve gone this path countless times, by now you can go there blind. Your body remembers all the turns and miles. Like your body needs to reach the destination.

You hadn’t realised just how tiring running this whole thing was until she came in the view - until you saw that short, long haired woman standing right outside, waiting for you, the woman that always knows what you need.

Strict hard nose breaths soon turn into open mouthed pants, bouncing bag thrown to the ground somewhere, anywhere off you, and you finally let your rivers flow.

A melody of countless “i’m sorry”’s spilling out your mouth as soon as your body comes in touch with hers, pairs of hands holding the other body like their own lives depend on it, mutual emotion being held and shared in and through both bodies.

She’s seen you this way a number of times, she has not once thrown a rejection at your vulnerable emotions needs, but thats not enough for your overworking mind.

The lock of arms around your waist and up your back giving you a squeeze, shushing hushing noises coming to caress your ears - “shh its okay angel, its okay. I’m here with you, i am here for you.” - caring the same like a mother would to her child, or maybe a person who’s not quite full when their sweetheart isn’t.

Words that go in through your ears, and circulate along your insides as if made to soothe you whole, whats a painkiller better than love?

“I’m sorry.” you sighed with the loss of a last deep breath. Composing yourself to pull away, managing to turn your head to face her, face red like a tomato and makeup running all along.

“Its okay,” she gave a small chuckle looking back at you, an affectionate hand reaching out to hold your face. “I know.” A voice just above a whisper.

For a moment while you look into her eyes, you think you can almost feel them. Like your burning teary face can feel the breeze and like the darkening evening sky suddenly shines all its stars above her.

While you’re focused on her eyes you lose track of everything else - like the fact that your breathing is now calm, your shaking hands have turned gentle. She noticed those though, taking your hand in one of hers and your backpack in her other.

“So what do you wanna do?” ..

“Im feeling a movie”

“So movie night it is!”

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Best and Worst of both Worlds (part 1)

Tw: yandere oc guy, but i dont think this chapter shown that yet, but readers a fuckin stalker loser this time, university horrors

Okay guys so this story im literally pitting Yves and Montgomery together, gonna be a little slow burn but we r gonna get 2 da conflict like eventually

Also da settting in university cuase its da most relevant 2 me 💯

Enjouy

PART 2

He's so beautiful and ethereal. The man has been plaguing your mind for the entire week, you're being distracted from your assignments just because of this unbelievably gorgeous man with silky, long hair and dressed to the tens.

You grinded your teeth and scratched your skin, you know where he frequents. The university's library. And you obviously want to get closer to him after he caught you from falling. You slipped on a sheet of paper that you dropped and this mysterious stranger was there to catch you by the waist before your body could make any devastating impact. Unfortunately, your stacks of textbooks and other miscellaneous documents were scattered to the ground.

"Are you alright?" He asked, his voice was smooth and pleasant with a unique, suave accent to it.

You were reduced to a nervous, stuttery mess. He gently brought you back up to your feet, he helped you gather your things and even arranged it by size and weight, so that it would be less likely for it to topple over. The man took a further step to smoothen the frizzles of your hair, fix your collar and sleeves. He even zipped your backpack up, you were unaware that it was open in the first place, adding to your embarrassment. You couldn't really push him away because your arms are occupied with your belongings.

It was hard to look into those stunning emerald eyes without flustering yourself even further, so you looked away while you stammered a "thanks" to him.

"Be careful." He said as he tilted your head by the chin to make direct eye contact. You know that you're as red as a tomato, but he didn't comment on it. The man lets you go before walking away, he fixed the handles of his luxury bag on his shoulder. Luscious curls bouncing with every step.

You felt like you wanted to explode right there and then, it took you a while to regain composure, other university personnel wondering why you're just standing in the middle of the path like that. Aren't you tired of holding all that stuff? It looked heavy.

You were snapped back into your senses when someone who you assumed had a bad day, told you to get out of the way. You scurried along the traffic, having the incident fresh in your mind.

You wonder who that man is, a student? A professor? A staff member?

You came to know that he's in the library for a few hours every weekday afternoons. He doesn't have a particular spot, the mystique spontaneously appears in random but fairly secluded reading spots in the library.

You felt like a stalker, but that's what you are. Too shy and afraid to talk to him, yet content with watching from afar. His ears are covered by his hair, so you don't know if he had any earbuds in. Fuelling your hesitance to make any contact first.

He could be reading a thick novel, handwriting something down on his notebook, or he could be typing away on his sleek, black laptop. In either instances, you have no idea what he's doing, it's either in a foreign language, full of numbers or completely made up of technical jargon.

You don't know why you're doing this instead of studying for your midterms. You're never like this to any of your crushes, not this obsessive over a real person, so why now? What compelled you to become this... creep? It's like you can't stop. You're scared of rejection but you can't get rid of the butterflies in your stomach.

You had no one to talk to about it because university is a very lonely place. At least, for personality types like you. You didn't want to bother your other friends, they have their own problems to worry about.

It reaches a point that you tried following him out of the library, wondering where he will go next. Before you could step past the automatic sliding doors, you looked at the book in your hand.

'Wait a minute, this is fucked up.' You thought to yourself. This isn't like you, exams are in spitting distance and you're subjecting this poor person to this harassment just because of a singular interaction.

You made a 180⁰ turn and marched back to your all-time favourite seat. Which happened to be occupied by the stranger earlier, maybe that made you a little peeved because you "claimed" it first at the start of the year. But he took it for the day.

To your surprise, there lies his notebook on the ground. He must have accidentally left it. You picked it up and looked around to make sure the coast was clear, then you flipped through it.

You were blasted with numericals, diagrams, words you weren't sure if it was written in English or otherwise and even floorplans of a building of some sort. You couldn't understand anything.

"Excuse me."

You whipped your head to the whisper. It was him! Your blood ran cold as he caught you snooping through his item. You opened your mouth, but no sound came out.

You struggled to form a coherent sentence as you pointed at it, you're done for, you're going to be confirmed a creep. But he only watched you with the utmost patience.

There came a point where you gave up, placed the closed book on the table and pushed it towards him.

Luckily though, you didn't have to say another word.

"You found my notebook. How careless of me to have dropped it." He pulled a chair opposite of you and sat down. You watch him place his handbag on another chair.

He elegantly picked the journal up and slid it into his bag. You were sweating at this point, the dread is about to make you vomit on him and that's not great. You wished that he would go away now, but seeing that he's locked onto his seat, it's highly unlikely.

You prayed hard for it though, he finished his business for the day. There shouldn't be any reason for him to linger.

"Thank you for keeping it safe. I hope you found whatever it is you were seeking from me." He continued, crossing his legs and resting his hands on the table.

What.

You asked what he meant by that.

A teasing smile made its way to his rouge lips.

"You were watching me." You grew pale and you scrambled to explain yourself, but he raised his index finger to signal you to let him continue.

"Your tact could be improved upon; I could see you trying to hide behind the shelves, I could hear you mumbling to yourself, and you shouldn't think so lowly of yourself." He propped his head up on one elbow.

Your cheeks felt hot. That is true, you were berating yourself for being too wimpy to go ahead and talk to him. You just didn't think you were that loud.

"I would have enjoyed having a chat with you. I wouldn't have thought that you were-- and in your own words, a 'creepy, loser-freak'."

Oh. He heard that too. You wish that you could disappear this instant.

"I'm flattered that you thought highly of me. However, I was disappointed that you thought that I was intimidating." He pouted playfully. "I won't bite." He twirls a lock of his hair around his fingers.

Your nerves are frazzled as he leans in. You didn't know what to say or what to do. He seemingly picks up on that and continues leading the conversation.

"Let's start with names. Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine." You felt his shoe brush against your leg.

You almost forgot your own name as you watch the bead of sweat drip down your nose in horror. He must think you're a stinky slob.

But all he does is stare straight into your soul while drumming his fingers against the table.

You told him your name, with a severe stutter. Each passing second felt like a serrated knife slicing through your flesh.

He repeated it, syllables rolling through his tongue wonderfully. He pronounced it correctly on the first try despite your cripplingly anxious enunciation.

"Yves." He replied. Finally, you have his name. You're totally not going to use that to dig for more information on him.

"You have a beautiful name." He complimented.

You nervously returned the compliment and let out an awkward laugh. Trying your best to ignore the growing sweat stain between your pits.

"How charming of you, (name)." He stood up and pushed his chair back under the table. Yves collected his bag and turned his attention back to you.

"I'd love to talk longer, but I must go now. I believe you have an exam to prepare for. Best begin your revision now, I hope our brief conversation has helped to quell your worries."

...and you mumbled that part about yourself too. It's pretty safe to assume he heard all your thoughts.

Yves extended a manicured hand to you. Taking this as a clear request for a handshake, you accepted it.

Only for him to bring it up to his lips, tenderly and fleetingly kissing your knuckles. This entire time, his piercing gaze never left your eyes.

You wanted to claw yourself out of your flesh and die out of embarrassment.

"Study well."

He lets your hand down and presses it momentarily with his larger ones.

You watched him saunter away with his back turned against you.

You brought the back of your palm to your sight.

There is a faint, reddish tint on it. It must have been from his lipstick.

You're not sure if you ever want to wash your hand after this.

[landmine-ky]

ugh i hate the men in my life, i hate them trying to be in my life, then being upset when *shocker* im mentally ill and don’t always make the best decisions

like i already apologized for blocking you then unblocking to tell you to kill yourself, even though i warned you a while ago that this is something that can and will probably happen

just… ugh. they can go die. i’d kill them myself if that didn’t involve legal repercussions. they deserve it, they hurt me and probably enough other people. i hate them. there aren’t words to describe how much i hate them. the thought of them makes me want to destroy something. makes me want to hurt something, and i just end up grabbing a blade.

these people are evil. evil. evil. they need to die. they tell me they love me but really is so disgustingly artificial. i don’t care for whatever savior complex or desperation they show me. they can all die. they told me that they’d never leave and yet, they still decide to deliberately hurt me or try to control me when they swear they’re trying to help or on my side. kill yourselves. kill yourselves. kill yourselves.

i’d gladly watch them suffer. i’d lock them up and watch them starve to death. even better, i’d keep them just barely alive so that they can feel their soul slipping away, day by day. i’d love to press a blade into them, gut them. i’d love to feed one’s entrails to another. they deserve it.

they need to die. they need to die. i give so much and yet in return im only gifted pain. and for what? disappearing for five days with no word is not okay, when you claim im one of the most important people to you, and its even more not okay to get pissy when i’m upset that you “didn’t have time” to respond when you just admitted to going to the movies with people. i sent you hundreds of messages, and you ignored it completely. i gave you my body in ways that i could, and this is how you treat me. i almost came and threw my entire life away to see you, and you treated me like i was dispensable. you, and your disgustingly manipulative, syrupy words.

and to someone else, it’s not my fault that you felt the need to admit yourself to a mental facility because i fucking rejected you. it was a rejection. we literally had not seen each other in person for years. i admit, i led you on for a bit. but then i went on to explicitly tell you no several times, and then you start spiralling when i tell you i want to date someone else. you said you regretted introducing me to those people? what the fuck? you really thought you could have me. not only that, you genuinely thought you “turned the gay woman straight.” fuck you. and the fact you, out loud, said that you can fix me is insane. the only reason i even considered you for a split second was because i was desperate for any kind of affection. so, how about you slit vertical. whatever narrative you told my sister’s friend group made them turn on me instantly anyway, so how about you stop trying, follow their advice, and block me. also, i find it ironic that you’d ask for relationship advice from a guy who essentially sent his bitchy girlfriend to harass his friend group that lasted all of high school, because he had his feelings hurt during a dnd session zero.

and, to “you can’t be loved if you don’t love back” fuckass piece of shit, i hate you. i hate you. you ask me how you should go about cutting. but then you act nice toward me. why? to guilt me into dating you? i see your tumblr blog, i know how desperate you are for someone to date you. what do you even want me for? what? you come up to my door at night to ask me, “what are we?” are you stupid? and then you try to act like you did nothing wrong. you don’t trap someone in their home to demand an answer for something like that. you’re not entitled to me. i’m sorry i gave you any notion of hope, but you effectively destroyed any chance you had with that. so fuck you.

i’m so tired. i don’t want to deal with people anymore.

[humdinky]

i love pixar's turning red. it is such a good representation of girls at that age. they don't shy away from depicting the awkward and weird parts. it is so rare to see a movie depict girls and their silly interests without condemning or judging them. they just let the girls be girly, noisy, and silly.

fuck the hate this movie got on its release. i could go on for hours about society's uniquely shitty attitude towards teenage girls and their interests. there are countless examples. remember the feverish hate for twilight, a series aimed exclusively at young women? what about the hunger games? teenage girls were the first ones to fall in love with elvis and the beatles, and critics treated them like a joke. that is, until adult men started liking them. funny how that works. justin bieber fans, one direction fans, vsco girls, girly girls, tomboys, emo girls, indie girls, bookworms. you will see every single type of girl being made fun of for every conceivable interest a human being can have.

at a certain age you feel forced to make an arbitrary choice. lean into your feminine side and continue to get mocked for 'being shallow', 'only caring about your looks', 'being annoying' etc. or lean into your masculine side and get called a pick-me or told that you just want to get with their guy friends. you like things that are popular? you’re basic. you like things that aren’t as popular? you’re trying too hard. it is the entire reason why so many girls internalize this misogyny, why they start saying things like "im not like other girls."

i certainly wasn't immune to that trap. i didn’t fit the mold and got ostracized for it. the only validation i received for the longest time was from boys, when i turned my anger back on girls and girlhood. i was sold that narrative so many times that i wore it like some sort of badge of honor. it took years to unlearn. i feel sad when i look back on my younger self. i was so sad, so angry, and so scared all the time.

we get insulted for being happy. we get insulted for being sad. we get insulted for being mad that we were insulted for being sad. we get insulted for trying to forget what happened and act happy again. we get insulted for feeling hopeless. they beat the confidence out of you very early.

and it angers me how the emotions of teenagers as a whole are so often neglected. when you're around that age and grappling with big emotions, you've quite literally never felt anything that strongly before. a failed test, a best friend's betrayal, being cut from a sports team. it all feels like a rejection of your entire person, your entire being. you haven't lived that many years yet, and it's the first time you've felt this horrible. you don't have anything to compare it to, and it feels like nobody else could have ever survived feeling this bad before.

it's not petty teenage drama. it's not immaturity. it is a normal human reaction to the worst pain you've experienced, and it is happening at a time when your body is going haywire and your feelings feel impossible to control. you don't know how to cope with it, you can't possibly know, because it's the first time you've had this bottomless well of pain tearing you up inside. you can't look back at previous times you've felt this way to reassure yourself that it will be okay eventually. the first time is the worst and hardest and you have no resources to get through it yet.

a lot of adults scoff at and dismiss the feelings of teenagers. "you're young, you'll get over it"' they've decided that because you haven't dealt with this feeling before that you must be overreacting. sometimes you are, and sometimes you're reacting exactly how any adult would. it's an absolutely shitty thing to express to anyone. a teenage girl's pain is not any less real than a 50 year old's pain. so what if it will get better? it doesn't matter that it isn't going to be the worst thing that ever happens; it matters that right now it very much is the worst thing that's happened.

yes, teenagers overreact over a lot of things that aren't as important as they feel. as if adults, who don't even have the excuse of inexperience with deep emotions, don't? no one should ever dismiss someone else's pain regardless of their age or circumstances.

​im turning 20 in a few months. find the small joys of life, and don’t you dare let anyone take them away from you. if there is a teenage girl reading this, i love you, i am sorry, and it does get better.

[tubbytarchia]

UM. NEW JIM STREAM. NEW SMP. I FEEL LIKE I MISSED AN ANNOUNCEMENT OR SOMETHING.

members are fwhip jimmy lizzie mog sausage oli rendog katherine pix shubble scott eloise zombiecleo. modded smp. stream only i think. fantasy themed.

he logs in and has to choose an origin. seems very dnd-esque? but ive never played dnd so. im guessing here.

he spends 10 minutes choosing just to settle on half elf. he gets to pick 2 skills so he picks quicker regen and most movements wont trigger sculk sensors.

he spawns in :D cleo is there :D but jim hasnt set up voice mod so. they dont talk yet. cleo just starts circling him and its really funny to me

HE GETS SET UP. cleos immediately like youre not small :( (her chat told her he would be) and he was like. well being small is fun for a stream and then it gets a bit annoying doesnt it. which i have Thoughts about

they spawned in like a tower thing. cleo goes down and dies instantly to a bunch of mobs. after cleo dies jimmy goes down and also dies instantly. theres some weird spawn protection thing going on meaning they literally cant beat the mobs

jimmy experiences Modded Minecraft and gets scared. why do his buttons do things. why is there things everywhere. his keybinds have been super messed up so hes having A Time

sausage died and cuz of voice mod he screamed and cut out immediately which is my favourite thing. the entire smp is a mess theres like a million mobs. ive never seen jimmy rage this hard at dying before

fwhip joins and he chose one of the small classes. jimmy starts making fun of him so fwhip crits him like 3 times. jimmy then steals fwhips wood and fwhip tries to kill him again.

it takes establishing that jimmys a half-elf and sausage is a high-elf before the elf superiority starts.

katherine joins and shes ALSO a half elf. sausage starts calling him their daddy. its been 20 minutes

jim and oli meet up (and katherine follows) and olis like. im gonna show you my secret if u give me 6 things. so jimmy gives him 6 things and turns out oli can. go invisible????? and jim and katherine are like :o and are surprised he didnt pick bard. olis like well i already did that. im a mushroom guy now. and takes off his armour to show his skin (he says something about it being similar to his larp outfit which is cool) and jimmys like whats with the glasses. and oli full on whines and goes JIMMMMMMMH :( theyre my mushroom glasses.

they both die within a minute of exploring. cant say its unexpected. they get their stuff back easily enough though

after talking to like everyone jim splits off. he finds a zombie playing bagpipes and i lost my shit

it just played folk music the entire time he was trying to kill it

meets up with everyone. they talk for a while but nothing super notable to be said

(jimmy got up to get a snack and the stream chat started talking to his chair. it made me giggle)

he got super fast shoes. everyone is jealous of him. bitches love him and his super fast shoes.

i look away for like 5 minutes and hes now. wearing a whoopee cushion on his head. and a crown!

jimmy and sausage beat up a boss and it drops a ring. sausage picks it up and asks jimmy to marry him. jimmy IMMEDIATELY rejects him. no hesitation

^ little chicken hat :) cleo has a little pig hat and they match and its really cute.

jimmy gets a big axe and is like omg its so big!! and cleo AND sausage immediately jump on like oh tell me how you got it so big jimmy. and hes like guys. guys please.

sausage gets an ancient gong with unreadable runes on it. he obviously hits it multiple times. nothing happens at least.

they find ren and he has a little sheep hat so now 3 of them are matching. sausage feels very left out.

jimmy and oli meet up. oli does a bit of being like.. the spirit of the forest. oli gives jim a sapling and jim gives oli an invisibility cape. oli ends the bit and comes back as himself. he has a bow on his lower back and jimmys like wow you have a bow on your back. oli calls his ass big and juicy. frowns

oli tries to hit jimmy like 20 times and its just not working. jimmy is invincible i think.

oli and jim go to a village and make a bit of stealing childrens lunch money. idk why but they are. it doesnt work.

they meet up with lizzie and oli does his "spirit of the forest" bit again. he starts to give lizzie a riddle and says "what is wet and long- and not dry-" then gets confused and just. doesnt finish it at all.

lizzie mentions jims large weapon. jimmy voice "nothings too big for me" oli voice "nothings too big for jim" why have 2 separate groups made the exact same joke.

lizzie crashes and oli calls her and it goes to voicemail and he leaves a message and he ends it with a bunch of chappell roan song names. when jimmy doesnt know what he means olis immediately like THIS GUY IS NOT AN ALLY.

^ like 5 minutes after that they kiss so.

jim gives lizzie an ocean necklace after she logs in again. crazy

oli and jim are potentially basing together. we MIGHT be back.

uhhhhh stream end :p double upload on sunday (one main channel one roblox channel) not sure if im gonna summarise all these streams if only bc i have. No Idea whats going on. i dont understand modded mc at all. despite that it is a chill vod if u need background noise for anything

YAYYY JIMMY STREAM SUMMARY yeah this SMP came out of nowhere. I heard nothing about it. Fun that Rendog is here though!! And Cleo!!

"well being small is fun for a stream and then it gets a bit annoying doesnt it." OFF TO A NOT GOOD START GRRRRRRRR JIMMY..........my son..... ESMP2 haunts him... And then he goes and makes fun of fWhip LMAO. Not going to fault him but also not going to fault fWhip for almost killing Jimmy a few times, deserved

Sausage's humor making me want to end myself as usual. But Jimmy immediately rejecting his marriage proposal did put a smile on my face. If it weren't for moments like this to balance out Sausage just. the way he is. I would actually be infuriated if I ever watched SMP streams he's in. Sorry Sausage fans

"jimmys like wow you have a bow on your back. oli calls his ass big and juicy. frowns" ?????? Oli?? ok whatever its. whatecver

"Oli starts to give lizzie a riddle and says "what is wet and long- and not dry-" then gets confused and just. doesnt finish it at all." ok thats funny lmao. hurt himself in his own confusion . deserved

Omg Oli and Jim kiss though <3 and them basing together potentially yes please

Ok yeah that sounds both chill and very confusing. I also don't understand heavily modded mc. But why is their humor sense just sex jokes again can they sprinkle in some other jokes every once in awhile PLEASE IM BEGGING

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 3

Propaganda

Ver'million "Millie" Blue (Friends at the Table: PARTIZAN):

Mech pilot with a body horror mode and a thematic dog motif. She’s trans in a culture that does gender way different than contemporary human genders, and she’s sexy about it. Escaped a military super soldier cloning program to join a revolutionary organization. Kind of a fish person (pls look up art of her, it’s all excellent). Dreams of settling down into a peaceful life and is so so so wife to me

She's a canonical goth trans woman with sick teal hair and scales and she's an alien who's vaguely fishlike and she's a sniper and an absolute shit kicker she's literally SO sexy

ok so i did just submit Pickman bc she won my tournament but i gotta say, Milli is my personal pick for sexiest f@tt character! she's goth! she could kill me! but she won't! she just wants to be away from the war! she's breaking out of the worldview she's been conditioned in to since infancy! her mech is called the stray dog! and after the campaign ends she goes around recruiting so many people that they recognizably start getting called the stray dogs! she's so excited to have literally any participation in governing! she spends a while going around the moon to install a communications system and gets to learn what its like when you approach people in a way that isn't immediately antagonistic! SHE DECLARED A GOOD HER RIVAL! she got SO close to getting out but then her sense of duty to others pulled her back in (im not actually sure if that last one is hot exactly but it SURE is compelling). AND SHE'S A FISH WHO REJECTED THE GENDER SYSTEM SHE GREW UP IN FOR ONE NOT DESIGNED TO FURTHER WARFARE!

The entire blog @fuckyeahvermillionblue.

milli cannot lose she is the second sexiest fatt character and Pickman already lost so Milli has to carry it forward come on she chose to be a woman when her culture/species literally doesn't have women, she was a prisoner doing forced labour and she still wore goth prom clothes to a state funeral and got messy drunk and she's got a big gun and a leather jacket that says "Divine Retribution" in red and she Is SO COOL AND SEXY that the revolutionary group included "Look Sick as Shit" as one of their 8 main tenets exclusively because she fucking whipped ass at the combination MET gala/Olympics by doing combined sniping/trick shots with her mech

sorry but the rest of this propaganda is too good to leave in tags

#But milli is literally a clone raised in fascist school for war and now she uses her sniping skills for revolution#She chose to be a woman when her culture/species doesn't even HAVE women. She's teal haired and trans and sexy#And she's so funny and everyone accepts that she's cool and competent and she made her mech be able to cry#She's literally goth gf. She wants to retire to a cottage. She's canonically into women. Like come on.

Millie is the best girl and you should vote for her. Her mech is a transformer that cries

VER'MILLION BLUE HOT BUFF CHICK

VOTE MILLIE

Kravitz (The Adventure Zone: Balance):

Grim Reaper. So hot he managed to date Taako from TV

gotta be krav

[mbat]

fuck it, have my unnecessarily personal review that i left on letterboxd (i literally only made a letterboxd account like 3 days ago and this is my first and only review ahfhdg)

"i only just finished watching this film about 2 hours ago and for the first while after, i didnt know how to feel. i went into this movie knowing it was a trans metaphor (and that was the only thing i knew), and it definitely was. there were some things i didnt understand until i saw other peoples discussions of it, and some parts i still dont entirely understand, but i think i understand enough.

mind you, i am trans and ive known for years, im just bad at picking up metaphor sometimes. i think it doesnt help that i went into it expecting it to be a very different kind of metaphor because, well... i dont think ive ever seen a trans story like this. the one where they explore someone rejecting their identity and living their life refusing to believe it, even though theyre suffocating to death. i love any trans story (that isnt hateful of course), but they tend to be the same kind. this one wasnt. im glad it wasnt.

for about an hour after i couldnt stop thinking about the final scene, in the birthday room. i hoped i would stop thinking about it eventually, i was trying to move on with my day, but it just wouldnt leave. i rewatched it on youtube and i read the comments, and as i made my own comment i just started sobbing, and i couldnt stop.

that breakdown scene in that birthday room has been how ive felt for so long, but i cant just scream like that. hell, ive felt like that in so many ways that arent even related to my trans identity. just that throat-tearing scream, begging for help, im dying, help me... and then being sorry that i even dared feel that way, and then screaming for my mother. i am so weak when it comes to stories about mothers nowadays, i lost my own mother a few years ago. so hearing that scream hurt.

and of course, the fact that no one acknowledges it. everyone else is frozen, like they arent even there. no one even looked their way for those last few minutes. no one responded. even as they apologized to everyone in sight, no one cared. someone asked if they were okay, but we dont even see them.

my entire life has been me screaming from the inside, but never out. and no one sees it. no one sees me. ive never seen another scene like this ever. it tore into my soul and plastered it into the screen, telling me to look at myself.

im also in a big time of change in my life. im about to go back to school after dropping out, and ive been isolated for 7 years from the world... on the youtube video of the final scene, someone said 'this is what its like going down a path in your life, and then realizing it was the wrong one, and that you wasted years of your life that you will never get back' and that hurt. that hurt so much because it was true. i went down a path that i can never change, and i just want to scream until i cant anymore. i just wanted someone to help me. all i could ever do was help myself.

what an amazing movie. there will always still be time. never forget that there will always still be more time."

[mdhwrites]

The Grimwalker as a concept was so weird. Mainly that Hunter was all 'ohhhh no we cant tell them im a spooky Grimwalker!' But... why would anyone care? The only reason given is that hes a reincarnation of a guy nobody even knows or cares about. Theres not even like, a spooky myth about Grimwalkers because its got such a vague ruleset and premise. He's barely different from a demon.

That COULD have linked to the demon discrimination plotline youve talked about, but there is none so it cant be that. Which i understand was partially because Dana wanted the gays to just exist, so she scrapped discrimination in general. But, a big part of forming cultures and identity is 'Otherness'. People compare themselves to others and define themselves by how theyre different. So scrapping discrimination ends up making the witchs and demons feel like nothing. They have nothing to compare their identity and culture against because theres just no conflict to spark comparison.

This lack of substance also means the fans don't care about Grimwalkers. See the moring comic where the Grimwalker was turned into ANOTHER way to say 'haha Boscha so cringe amirite? point and laugh because she has nobody who loves her.' even though the grimwalker is to reincarnate the dead.

OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE NOTICED THAT! *SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER* Like I know Mark just writes Boscha how the entire fandom sees her (which hasn't helped me enjoy A Hint of Blue, not that I think it's good regardless) but seriously what the fuck!? Why do that to her except just to be mean!?

*sighs* What were we talking about? OH RIGHT! Grimmwalkers.

So for why Hunter has anxiety, it actually is because TOH is doing a very basic clone/artificial human storyline with Hunter and those arcs are actually a lot more internally motivated than externally motivated. Clone lives a life believing they're their own person, then one day finds out they're not, perceives themselves as less because of this distinction but then in the end decides that regardless of their origin, they are their own person and so throw off their shackles, embrace who they are and become better for it. It has nothing to do with race and while it is baby's first clone story, I also still like it conceptually because, well, there's a reason why it's the default clone story. It especially is good for kid's media because while the clone can struggle with the anxiety of it, their friends never have to actually be bad or discriminatory against them because the point is loving yourself for who you are and not who you were made to be.

But I've talked before about how this basic framework actually has a Catch 22 built into it when it comes to Hunter... Which apparently Tumblr wants to tell me I've never done before. Thanks search function. The short version is that this template requires not only a rejection of what they were made for but for them to become distinctly different, usually opposite, to their purpose/original. For Hunter, he only knows Belos so this takes shape in trying to be the opposite of him. The problem is that the opposite of Belos... Is Caleb. Who Hunter mimics in every action he takes after getting away from Belos. There's literally no way to follow this template without adding complexities like him accepting his true origin and being okay/happy with that, something that was probably unlikely in general but especially wasn't going to happen with the shortening, which I will actually give people for. Because the Grimmwalker twist happens so late, they either had to cut it or had no time to actually do anything with it which like... Why not cut it? You did nothing with it and it actually made sure you didn't have the time to actually have Hunter reject Belos' morality so that his redemption doesn't come across as self serving and for survival more than an actual, you know, change to his beliefs.

As for how interesting Grimmwalkers are... They're just clones. Boilerplate, boring clones. Make a body based on another person, put memories in, BAM! Got yourself a clone. Doesn't get more classic than that. It's hardly even magical honestly besides the components, especially with how it actually doesn't give them magic despite those components, or have weird quirks since they're not actually made of flesh and blood, elements that the fans have had a lot of fun with that the show never does, though admittedly part of that is due to how late it happens. Then again, all magic in TOH is boring so it's not likely they would have anyways. Also, you know, a lot of shows will do a single clone episode and have more fun and magic to it than TOH does with one of their core cast members being one so *shrug*

Now, for the final part, I do want to also touch on the 'other' aspect because while discrimination is one way to do it, you can get this across in other ways. One such way is the core defining trait of the Grimmwalker from a tangible standpoint: He doesn't have magic. In a society that mostly has magic, him not having it is a big deal. It's literally what gives him and Willow their first connection as a couple, as insulting as that scene actually should be to Hunter.

And then Hunter is 'fixed' when he gains his magic. His 'other' status removed because he's a real boy now. *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*

I have so much more I could say about TOH and 'The Other' (made a blog about a lot of it between writing this draft and publish) but I'll leave it at that so it actually stays on topic instead of the half a dozen tangents I've deleted. None of this makes it good by the way and with how TOH tackles most subjects like this, it's incredibly unlikely that more time would have made it better. After all, being a Grimmwalker is only one of like a half dozen TANTALIZING character/arc concepts for Hunter that are never addressed. The fact that he is trained to kill witches and likely has. His relationship with the Isles because he doesn't have inherent magic. The fact that he is filled with such care for the nation and its government that it blocks out all else in his world. How a sheltered child reacts when they suddenly have freedom and are thrust into the wider world. Etc. etc. that are just footnotes to the writers more than anything to actually build a complete arc around or else they wouldn't have just keep adding to the angst bucket without actually resolving any of it.

So of course Grimmwalkers are bland while being a fine to good concept that's then made terrible by narrative implication or neglect. That's EVERYTHING to do with Hunter.

======+++++=====

Sidenote for this one: It is funny that Dana wanted there to be no bigotry in the Isles when her villains entire scheme is through religious persecution. You know, bigotry. Whole other blog I could go into.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[limitless-blue]

ok WAIT im gonna go on a tangent BUT BEAR WITH ME (also spoiler warning)

i totally get why u don't like her, like her tying her self worth to a boy and that perceived rejection from him turning her into a witch. HOWEVER! there was also a lot of stuff leading up to that that lead to her turning into a witch. for one, she really loses a lot of the naivety and righteousness that she became a magical girl for. like, there was that scene on a bus or train where she's overhearing those two guys talking about their girlfriends and being super misogynistic, so she's lowk being slapped in the face with how horrible humans can be. but i think the biggest thing is that she had Just found out that she herself is not human anymore. like her worldview and her identity is being challenged and ripped apart, and then the person she became a magical girl for, essentially signed her life away for, has (in her mind) rejected her.

also i totally get ur point about kyoko losing her entire family as a direct result of becoming a magical girl and still not falling into despair, but kyoko also has a lot more time between her Bad Thing and the reveal of magical girls not being human, whereas for sayaka, this is all happening within the span of one month (the time between those two things are closer to like. a week tho).

sayaka and kyoko's relationship and how they compliment each other was lowk the reason i started liking sayaka more (and then she was a major part of one of my essays and now i love her). but like. they both made wishes on the behalf of Other people, which has backfired for both of them. but kyoko becomes bitter and cynical and she only fights to survive, not to help humanity (<- as shown by her only fighting witches and not familiars, since familiars don't drop grief seeds, so she'd rather sacrifice a few humans to let the familiars turn into witches). sayaka goes into this all being so optimistic and righteous and she has these rose colored glasses from mami (and for some reason, watching mami get her head bitten off makes her more determined to become a magical girl instead of deter her which. girl.)

BUT THEN! my favorite part about kyosaya and their relationship is the fact that they CHANGE EACH OTHER. their ideals and perspectives start to shift to meet each other in the middle, before passing each other and switching sides. sayaka becomes reckless and angry and loses faith in humanity, and kyoko gains back her optimism and hope.

and then when sayaka becomes a witch and kyoko knows she has to kill oktavia because sayaka would've hated knowing that she became the very thing that hurt others. and kyoko killed herself because she knew that she could never be the reason sayaka dies and not become a witch herself afterwards. ough i love them so much.

ALSO something else that made me feel a lot more sympathetic towards sayaka is that it's confirmed that in every timeline sayaka becomes a magical girl, she becomes a witch. she is literally doomed to fall into despair in every timeline.

ok so for my fic. just gonna say this is prob gonn spoil it but i love talking about it too much (and i also cant guarantee that im actually gonna write it LOL) but its. very much not a happy ending. it is so very unhappy ending. like, pmmm had an unhappy ending with a little bit of openendedness but this is just. fully unhappy. there is no closure and everyone dies. dtk mirroring the holy quintet are less about their personalities and more about how they die LMAO. which makes it Really Hard for me to write out k.arl or kill him off early bc hes literally the last one to die 😭😭

[theerurishipper]

I hate how im not even angry at how Kwamis choice ruined the Ladynoir ending from Hack-San. That little conversation was already bothering me in s4 bc Hack-San was brutally open with how little Marinette ever conciders Cat Noir in anything.

Beats me why she thought he wouldn't have the logical reaction of fcking RED ALERT when he suddenly sees Ladybug's earrings in possession of somebody else, but hey, Marinette told Alya to play with her pet so that makes up for it I guess? And "pet" I find extremely fitting in that episode's context. She literally send in another Ladybug miraculous holder who's lead Cat also had to follow with no saying in the matter. Marinette literally send him a new owner since the Ladybug can do with the Cat whatever she wants as Marinette herself perfectly demonstrates in her leadership and Adrien therefore had to learn in season 4. I don't know what kind of dignity Marinette was supposedly treating Cat Noir with because it definitely wasn't on screen.

Marinette not thinking a single second about Cat was so bad in Hack-San that in the end she was genuinely surprised that she had to talk to him. There had been no intention on her part to have a conversation, she truly thought she had taken care of everything that matters. And from her perspective that meant telling Alya to laugh at his jokes being the only thing she conciders of any importance (something Marinette herself barely does). Honestly, there is not more personhood to him than "Pet".

So no, her words in the Ladynoir end scene have always meant as little as it turned out in Kwamis choice where she immediately left after he rejected her one time in "Elation" and the she didn't even care if it was at least Scarabella again who Cat Noir would met next to find out the awful news.

I always felt so unbelievably bad for Adrien in the Hack-San ending because the episode went out of its way to show that it isn't Marinette who gets the "Their crush barely realizes they exist" treatment, it has always been Cat Noir.

It had to be ALYA to make Marinette even talk to Cat when she comes back and then the only thing Marinette acknowledges as a mistake is that he must have been (negatively) surprised by having met a different Ladybug holder and that she's sorry, if she were to have found out that way that he had revealed himself to someone else she would have been upset too.

Which... man, Ladybug's dialog in that scene is so surface level. Comparing the emotional depth of how Cat talks about what all this meant to him, with how much care he talks and that it was so bad that the thought of her not being there anymore one day hurt the most and that he doesn't think he could bare that...

And Ladybug is besides him and says "she would have sulked too".

The difference between what she means to him and what little he seemingly means to her is so bad that when Marinette says "I will never abandon you, Kitty" and Adrien immediately forgives her for everything as per usual, I look at Marinette and honestly want to ask if she even knows what the words she just said mean. Because the entire rest of the episode characterized her in a way where her line feels almost shallow.

What is Ladybug apologizing for not having warned him and saying "I will never abandon you Kitty" even worth when she was shocked that she had to talk to him at all?

Already back in season 4 I looked at Adrien's heart eyes after that and felt so bad for him bc very clearly this IS a bond be should be able to live without because she's spearing him barely any thoughts of actual significance in season 4.

So yeah, I can't say I'm angry about season 5 then having made that reality and destroyed the Hack-San ending with Kwamis choice. Marinette in part 1 once again proofs why it's even IMPORTANT that Ladybug isn't someone Cat should hold onto in his life and definitely needs to be able to bare possibly not seeing again. He rejected her ONE TIME and next morning she already tells Tikki to give her earrings to literally ANYONE before Plagg goes about his plan.

Already at that point the line "I will never abandon you Kitty" became worthless and she also would have caused yet ANOTHER Ladybug miraculous holder to met Cat Noir instead of Scarabella, when this time around the new Ladybug would have no information or connection to Marinette and was meant to stay for good.

I almost feel bad for saying it but also honestly not, Kwamis choice really reinforced how little Marinette actually learned in season 4. What little Ladybug "learned" in Hack-San was ripped to shreds in the same intensity as it already felt shallow in s4.

It's only thanks to Tikki that the same "new Ladybug" fiasko wouldnt have repeated itself for Cat just this time he would have been faced with every fear he had coming true, right after Elation where Cat admits that he isn't in love with her anymore and asks if she's okay with him only loving her as a friend.

She said yes. And then she left.

As much as I want to be harsh on Adrien's side of Kwamis choice too, I cannot hold it against him that he left to just finally be able to find happiness (and that being Plagg's motivation too for starting all this), especially not when him having stayed would have only resulted in him having to go through Hack-San 2.0 only in WORSE because once again Marinette barely spared Cat any thoughts besides this time him not wanting to date her anymore making her sad.

Hack-san is one of those other episodes in Season 4 in which I was rather defensive of Marinette in the beginning. Like yeah, she is in the wrong and she should apologize, but I understand that it's an honest mistake, you know? She isn't the best at considering how others might feel about situations, and it's understandable that it didn't cross her mind to talk to Chat Noir. She did do it after Alya mentioned it and she took responsibility for her screw-up, and I was fine with it. That scene from Hack-san on its own is still one of my personal favorite Ladynoir scenes.

But that's just it. The scene itself when seen individually is so soft and sweet, but putting it into the context of the whole season, it's not a good look. Marinette says she'll never abandon Chat Noir, and spends the rest of the season pretty much replacing him with Rena Furtive and overall just pushing him away. It just makes her come off as hypocritical and dishonest. She continues to never consider him and his feelings and things just continue to get worse. The way the Ladynoir conflict was handled retroactively makes the scene in Hack-san worse.

And honestly, I don't feel like defending Marinette for what she did anymore, because she didn't really fix her mistake. She just doubled down and continued to do the same thing, and her assurances that she never really backed up really seem shallow in hindsight. She never learns anything, he takes all the blame for it in the end, and they just carry on without her having to fix her mistake. It's just so bad.

Thank you for your ask!

[cowboy-robooty]

no guys see robooty itager is the slowest burn fucking imaginable. because i think that 1) italy would have to initiate them dating since germany thinks hes rejected forever after buon san valentino (my boy loves one sided crush) and 2) if they dont slow burn theyll crash and explode. because i think italy takes forever to realize he genuinely really fucking love germany and ONLY loves him and is willing to be loyal 'n treat him well to have him. Since i think italy isnt the type to really love ever since his kindergarten crush so he takes forever to recognize what he feels is genuine love (plus his love is born from a sense of entitlement but thats a whole 'nother enchilada). but yeah and because they take forever and are fully developed in their feelings when they date things are happy happy sunshine swag peace and love ❤️ they do stupid shit as bros the only difference now is they make out sometimes and japan cries himself to sleep everyday ^_^

but in a world where somehow they started dating BEFORE italy completely sorts out his feelings then OHHHH MY GOD. HELLWORLD. LITERAL HELLWORLD. because italy would totally cheat on germany and germanys heart would have youtube poop glass shattering effect explosion and italy would be #unloyal and #mean #scumgong and he would break up with germany for being so clingy and upset about him breaking his heart everyday or germany would break up with italy because everyone in his entire life (2 people: japan and prussia) is telling him that he needs to because italys making him chew glass (they take like 6 years to convince him and have to resort to saying its for italys own good if he breaks up with him). and then when they break up germany would hashtag die and explode because he obviously still loves italy but hes held back by prussia to not come back to him and tries to satiate his autistic brain by thinking "he was mean to me and told me to leave. im sorry ill leave now sorry for bothering you" and he also doesnt feel close to anybody except italy and has to go "brother....... i am.... not feeling good right now........" and cant say much else bc WE SAW IN THE ANIME GERMANY WANTED TO VENT ABT ITALY AND REALIZED HE HAS NOBODY BC HE ONLY IS CLOSE ENOUGH IN THAT WAY TO ITALY. and then cut to italy and hes partying it up because hes pissed off at germany for being on his ass hardcore every single day for the past god knows how long (hate my wife syndrome) until a while later the partying slows down and he has a bunch of moments where he thinks "well usually right now germany would do [thing]" and that builds up until he is hit with the full realization that germany is not going to stay by his side anymore. because hes run away now and hes never ever coming back. and that realization is like the evil version of italy realizing that he loves germany and wants him to ALWAYS be by his side; so much so that hes willing to do what it takes and compromise and be loyal n shit to make that happen. and now italy is freaking out because he doesnt feel this urge ever and now hes already fumbled the dude hes fr in gays with. but this realization is evil because its under a sense of panic and shit so its also motivated by italy feeling a sense of entitlement to having germany by his side and like HES SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

and from there italy would get back together with germany either easily bc he would just ask and say sorry and germany would go "well to be fair I should have been better as well. yes we should try again i want to too, i will try my best to not fail you this time." or it would be hard because germany would have his mind made up (with prussias support and urging and shit) to be like no italy we arent good for eachother and i cant (shouldnt) forgive you for doing those things to me and italy would be like Oh. and chew glass and freak the fuck out until he decides hes going to use #emotional manipulation and sob to everyone about how germany wont take him back and make everyone hate on germany and call him a terrible guy n shit to make germany feel so guilty and think hes an awful person to italy that he takes italy back. but even then their relationship is now fucked up forever because they live in perfect symbiosis thats their entire thing but now they dont because germany now has doubt of italy because of how he went into their relationship before and didnt give a fuck and italy unlocked his evil paranoia because now when he gets scared that germany will leave him he cant be comforted by thinking that would never happen because IT DID. HE WAS SEPERATED FROM HIM IT IS POSSIBLE TO MAKE GERMANY RUN AWAY. and because of that italy gets a lot more freaky about not wanting anyone to like germany so germany wont like them more than him and being emotionally manipulative and possessive and yandere shit because his paranoia is driving him to it. itager is great because it has so much potential to be evil like italy could emotionally manipulate germany so hard and all that shit but it would never happen because germany is so loyal and obsessed with italy that he never makes italy feel paranoid and like he has to. theyre like imagine if someone who has potential yandere gene in them dated a person who loved them more than anything in the entire universe and bends to their every will and never even glances at another person. that yandere gene is never getting activated bruh and at most manifests when italys like WAHHHH GERMANY YOU WONT LIKE RUSSIA MORE THAN ME RIGHT?? WHY DONT I HAVE THE MOST GERMAN TOURISTS IN THE WORLD WTF IS THERE SOMETHING ABOUT ME I NEED TO CHANGE????? but in the world where they rush things they break up and it disrupts all this homeostasis and makes them a little evil afterwards because italy has excessive paranoia that cant be quenched and germany has autism doubt because "he betrayed me once...... so hell probably betray me again *cries*"

[devine-fem]

what got you into batjokes and what draws you to them as a pairing?

oh my GOD A BATJOKES ASK. anyway. it was telltale batman. like even lego batman was too silly for me to even care and out of every version of batjokes, i think lego batman falls flat for me. WHEN I FOUND TELLTALE BATMAN IT CHANGED MY LIFE. when i played that game it was the catalyst for my love for dc. ive never seen more tragic gay people in my life. in telltale instead of the joker being a maniac, it goes off of that idea that he doesn't have a backstory and basically his role is switched with harley. harley is the joker and joker is more harley, including the obsessive love and abusive tendencies. joker is likable guy, hes actually just genuinely mentally ill with a few identifiable illnesses. when he gets nervous, he laughs, he doesnt like to be blamed for things, hes sometimes irrational and jumps to conclusions but theres moments where hes just trying to do some good even though hes not taken seriously. its somewhat relatable even. if you pick a curtain route you get a curtain ending which entails that bruce tries so hard to make the joker something hes not. just the fact that he tries SO hard to keep his code while having joker has basically a glorified robin. theres so many basic romance tropes and honestly, i argue that they were genuinely in love with each other in that game because if you reject selina you get scenes with joker instead and the game dev comfirmed that joker is bi in the game and batman's whatever you make him. watching their relationships and the concepts of their character clash in such a tragic way and then the ending where it all was just like..." whyd we even do this, it was bound to blow up like this... " like they had to prove something to themselves which brought both of them down in the most tragic way. WHEN I

TELL YOU I CRIED LIKE A BABY at the end of the game thinking about bruce and jokers relationship and how fucking SADD it was. my friends actually LAUGHED at me cause i cried literally nine times that night and i dont cry at games but something about that really grabbed me in and PULLED on my heart so bad. from then i went on a rampage researching anything batman and joker related and realized their relationship has always been homoerotic like this. something about the villian x anti hero trope really pulled me in. even though i hate this trope, fanon batjokes was something else entirely. just the idea of having someone be made to be your opposite. their constant dance and twisted love for each other I UGHHHH the desperation of it all, the drama, how much theyre willing to twist their words and beliefs, EVEN betraying the people theyre close to just for the other. oh other ships PALE in comparison to batjokes and toxic codependency and it saddens me how dead it is because its my second favorite ship under jondami. wish there was more content because its a REALLY good ship. and im very normal about them btw ugh thank you for the ask, i need this lowkey