#tw mentally ill

[mysharona1987]

[su1c1d3wh0r3z]

Did YOU know that I'm ON medication currently?

.....and I think i need a higher dose :)

[thelunarsystemwrites]

[TW: Depression, anxiety, mental illness, talk of suicide, brutal honesty.]

Don't be surprised if I just dissappear one day. This isn't be saying I'm gonna kill myself yet or me saying to be worried. This is honest: don't be surprised if I just dissappear.

I'm not happy. And every IRL day has been getting worse, and worse, and worse. Every day feels like I'm snapping more and more, and as much as I try to suppress my emotions, I end up venting or losing my cool here.

And I've been having a mental breakdown once or twice a month consistently.

And everything hurts.

Don't be surprised if I break. Okay? Please, you can be mad at me, hate me, throw me away, be sad, be confused, be hurt. But please don't be surprised.

I might dissappear because I'm too deep in my own depression to make any effort to socialize. I might dissappear because anxiety finally has it's grip on me and I can't face my mistakes. Maybe Tumblr is under or other stimulation suddenly. It might, if we're all lucky, be the more permanent option. But it's very unlikely.

Plus, I've made a promise to three people already. I promised my Mum here I'd seek help, so I plan on it. And I promised both my siblings here that I'd live as long as they did, so... I don't like breaking promises.

But heh, I'm breaking too.

And everything isn't fine.

And I've been wanting to stop since I was ten.

Why can't I just be fixed already.

....

I don't plan on disappearing.

Just don't be surprised if I do.

[souraesthetics]

B4 I go change heres da fit

[disabledprincesses]

Men seeking help for their behavioral issues: I have the urge to hurt those around me and act out whenever I am told no. I can't control my emotions and need help learning reality versus fantasies when it comes to scenarios and intentions of those around me. I feel pain and want to give pain.

Doctors: haha yea I remember what it was like to be a teen boy, just stay outta trouble, maybe join a sport to get out all that energy, have fun!

Women seeking help for their behavioral issues: Sometimes I have angry thoughts tha-

(Visual ID: a screenshot from Sponge-bob Square-pants of a security guard fish throwing mrs. Puff into a yellow padded room while she is in a straight jacket. End ID)

[eggy0lk00]

Every time I talk to someone and they don’t seem to automatically fucking hate me, I just get so confused ???

Like, dude haven’t you sensed my wretched soul or whatever??? DAMN

[boimann]

my mental health is at a steady decline and depression is kicking my ass, everything feels impossible and even getting out of bed this "morning" (1pm) felt like I was climbing everest.

the one thing that is keeping me from spiraling even further down is tf2 and its community.

fr the last few months have been proper ass but those 9 weird men who kill people for a living are keeping me alive, and people who keep making art, head canons, sfms etc are injecting serotonin directly into my brain stem.

so yeah, thank you everyone in this community, even if you don't know you are making my life a little less hard to live

:)

[ijustbesayinstuff]

Just imagine getting kidnapped by a dude that lowkey cares about you and you don’t have to worry about ANYTHING. Just have to sit there and look pretty for him. No bills no school you have no more responsibilities just nothing. Bonus points if he gets you stuff. You’d be kinda like a stay at home wife except illegal. That would be the life it really would

[mysharona1987]

[your-everyday-theatre-kid]

【Ｉｎｔｒｕｓｉｖｅ　Ｔｈｏｕｇｈｔｓ】

𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚡𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚢. 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚌. 𝙽𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙵𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙷𝚘𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝, 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚘 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚜. 𝙽𝚘𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚜. 𝙵𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚘𝚏𝚏. 𝚂𝚑𝚞𝚝 𝚞𝚙. 𝙶𝚘 𝚔𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏. 𝙶𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢. 𝚂𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚝. 𝚈𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚞𝚐𝚕𝚢. 𝙱𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑. 𝙶𝙰𝙶𝚂. 𝚈𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚢. 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚂𝚄𝙲𝙷 𝚊 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔-𝚖𝚎 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕! 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑! 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕! 𝙶𝚎𝚝 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚢. 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝? 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚊𝚢-𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛! 𝚆𝚑𝚘 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚊 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝? 𝚆𝚑𝚘 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚍? 𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝? 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙. 𝚈𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚘 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚢! 𝚈𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚘 𝚌𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚢! 𝙳𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎!? 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝. 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍.

𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙳𝙸𝚂𝙶𝚄𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙵𝙰𝙶𝙶𝙾𝚃

𝙴𝚠, 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍! 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚞𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞? 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕. 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚑? 𝙰𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚒𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛𝚜, 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝙸 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞! 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑? 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚔𝚎𝚛. 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚍. 𝙳𝚘 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎? 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚘 𝚎𝚡𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌! 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚘 𝚏𝚊𝚔𝚎. 𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜? 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚌𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚘𝚞𝚜, 𝚎𝚠! 𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎? 𝙽𝚘𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚔. 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚍. 𝙿𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚘𝚏𝚏. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚝-𝚊𝚜𝚜. 𝚆𝚑𝚢'𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝? 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚘 𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚊𝚕. 𝙱𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙶𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙!!! 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔. 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚘 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚢. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚍𝚒𝚎. 𝚂𝚘 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌. 𝙽𝚘 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕. 𝙸'𝚍 𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚒𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙴𝚠, 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚘𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚖𝚎! 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚊𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎'𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝟸 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜, 𝚍𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚜. 𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍???

[thelunarsystemwrites]

My second attempt.

(...this isn't a story, or a poem or made up. This actually... is real. TW for suicide attempt, depression, use of overdosing as a metaphor, and... yeah, I'm sorry.)

This happened on June 3rd, 2024.

Monday, June 3rd, 2024, sometime around 5 pm.

Was when I attempted to take my life for the second time.

I've been feeling so... uneasy, the past few days. I thought, "It must be one of my moots!" So to every moot in my list, I checked on them. I'm glad I did, I got good and bad news from each one, I got to hear different stories, I got to offer my comfort and congratulations.

...but the feeling was still there.

So I kept asking, my moots, friends, people I've never talked to too much—How are you?

It was still there, eating me from the inside out

...And, on June 3rd... something clicked.

I was kinda thinking of it for the past couple days, of doing this. I think my posts, my demeanour reflected it even before i knew.

I was talking to someone on discord. They might've thought it was a nice conversation... I was planning on taking my life while we joked around.

I think that feeling, might've been me. Might've been my gut saying "Hey, don't do this!" Might've been myself reminding me of a promise I made to my twin. My sister, my best friends, my platonic spouse, my mum, the people I care about. The family I've made here.

...but

I tried... anyways.

Because I just couldn't see any further thsn right now, the heaviness that pushed my body down, the bad thoughts I overdosed on.

And... I didn't tell anyone. That would've been my biggest regret, because I love them all so, so fucking much. They are my family.

And my other friends, moots... I would've missed immensely too.

So... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for trying something so.... stupid. I'm sorry I didn't talk to anyone, I'm sorry I've been distancing myself, I'm sorry if I worried anyone, I'm sorry.

...But the one thing, the one thing I'm not sorry about...

I'm not sorry it didn't work.

I'm glad it didn't. I'm glad I got to tell my family on here, that I love them. That they're a family to me.

I'm glad I got to tell them good morning. I'm glad I told them. I'm glad... I'm here, I think, yeah. I'm glad, grateful for the people I have in my life. Thank you.

[writinginslowmotion]

Relapse

my hands are shaking and my throat is dry i can't believe i let myself get to this point again mind is swirling, world is twirling i don't know what is real and what is fantasy I'm in a prison of my own making

[skinnyr4t]

me when I literally crying because I feel like my body is rotting or I see/feel something I shouldn't

[didasgomas]

Assumption of the Virgin

Day 15 of @augusnippets

Prompts: Food poisoning/Starvation/Throwing up

Trigger Warning: Referenced murder, referenced cannibalism, unstable mental health, religious mania, vomiting

Somewhat important part of "In Mortality", an au of Cut Down The Altar (creator will be in the tags)

August 15th, 1820 - 4 A.M

"Most Holy Mary, Queen of Heaven, I beg of you with all my heart, that you and God, Our Lord, take pity on my sinning soul and give me one more chance to repent, for my control of my own flesh is slowly being taken from me"

His first time celebrating the Feast of the Assumption outside of Saint David's Monastery. One month before his 14th birthday.

Only thirteen and yet already one of the worst kinds of sinner imaginable.

He remembered all of those he had hurt, he really did. One of them was laying on the floor not too far away from him.

Back on that horrible day, he had hurt all the seven other boys at the monastery.

Laith. Andrew. Luke. Ethan. Issac. Austyn. Henley.

Greyston hadn't been the youngest, and he hadn't been the eldest either, but he certainly had been the most cowardly.

After consuming his dead friends' bodies in a devastating, crazed hunger, he had run away, for he would not be able to ever again look in his father's eyes and force upon him the painful truth that a monster like him was his only child.

All those that chose to shelter him after he ended up on the streets were unjustly plagued with the curse he now carried. He could never fully trace the reason for why his murderous hunger seemed to come and go in uneven intervals, but one thing he did remember was that he was always afraid before his hunger took over.

He was unable to understand his condition, and God was unwilling to provide answers. Greyston likely deserved the divine silence anyway.

The sound of flies infesting the dead man's body increased, and the boy finally gathered enough courage to look in that direction.

Reverend Nathan Smith had been the most recent victim of his animalistic hunger.

Greyston remembered all of his charitable and kind hosts by name as well.

Maria Graham had been a farmer and young widow. She took him in like the son she never had, and cared for him for three months before his hunger took her from this world far too soon.

Gabriel and Elizabeth Davies had been a happily married and very devout parents of three children, who looked after him for only two weeks before he attacked them on their way to church, leaving their poor children orphaned.

He had wandered around for days on the cities streets afterwards, trying to survive the harsh winter as proof of his penitence, until a generous lamplighter of name Tobias Green found him and took him somewhere safe.

Tobias reminded Greyston a lot of his own father Noah, and he had even started making plans about taking the boy in permanently. He stayed with Toby the longest, five months in total, before a sudden panic he could not remember the cause of exploded into an enormous void in his stomach, making him devour the man he had come to see as a second father, along with one of his similarly innocent friends.

After days of senseless walking, he had taken shelter from a sudden summer storm inside a church dedicated to Saint John, where Reverend Nathan had found him and given him far more appropriate shelter inside his own vicarage.

He had already killed and eaten so many innocent people, and now he had killed a holy man of the faith, surely The Virgin and The Lord were looking down at him in disgust and disappointment, just like his father probably would have too.

Bile rose up in his throat, and before he knew it he was vomiting parts of flesh he had eaten from the vicar's dying body. Once the townspeople went inside the vicarage to uncover why their reverend had not showed up to the Assumption service, not only would they find his mutilated body, but also the disgusting mess coming out of Greyston's mouth.

Our merciful Lord, please forgive me, for I did not wish for this.

[sweetbonbon]

I need isolation. I need to be alone not only for me but for others I being out the worst in everyone an amplifier of the worst in people. I’m a bad person. There’s a lot of bad people. It would just be better for everyone if I was isolated

[anxietywriter]

Characters with a Bad Childhood

Is your character meant to be traumatized? Wanna spice it up a little to give their backstory a bit more depth??? Here's a list of things that a character could have if they come from a family that was abusive (emotionally or physically) or maybe they just didn't have parents that were emotionally invested in them and the effects of that when they grow up. Just a few things! If you really wanna go in depth about it then, as always, do your research and fall into a rabbit hole of google searches!

TW: Abuse, Trauma, & Mental Illness

Not knowing basic self-care or things about how to properly take care of their body (specifically for women, maybe they don't know how to exfoliate after shaving/waxing, maybe they don't know how to effectively deal with period cramps. For men, maybe they were never taught how to shave their face or how to deal with their emotions, good or bad)

their life revolves around wanting to do things that should be within their control. Like cooking a new dish they saw on the internet or decorating their room the way they want or how they want to dress/do their hair. It's a constant battle of what they want to do versus what everyone wants of them or expects of them.

See them? They hold so much rejection anxiety. So much. They will never make the first move ever. Whether that's asking a friend for their number or asking to hang out or even texting first, a lot of the time they will wait. Because they'd rather not do anything than face rejection from a person they tried to reach out to.

Learning how to cope with whatever trauma or other mental illness they have from their experiences. And doing it badly or slipping up sometimes but still trying. Whether that is repeating positive affirmations to themselves or listening to music or writing in a journal or fidgeting. They are trying to heal.

They will flinch more than a regular person at any sudden movements near them if they've been physically abused. It's not even something that they necessarily notice that they do until someone points it out.

Struggling to speak up or be assertive. Like not even just when having to order food but just in their normal speech always being kind of quiet. It can definitely be a bit of an issue if they're doing a speech or if they just need to speak to a larger group in general. They just tend to be a quiet person. It's part of why they always seem so calm or timid. They hardly, if ever, raise their voice let alone yell.

They are so starved for touch or attention. They absolutely plaster themselves against someone or are constantly wearing something warm or fuzzy. Anytime they do get attention from another living being, absolutely happy. Little puppy moment, might even start blabbering on about whatever they're doing that day. If that living thing is their pet? Does not matter that the pet can't understand, they're happily chatting about what they're going to do and all of their feelings.

They hate anger. Like not just being angry but also hearing other people being angry. Not just yelling but also the kind of terse mumbling and swears. It makes them instantly uneasy. Uncomfortable. They may not look for an exit necessarily, but they will look away and seem small and try to avoid engaging with that person for the moment.

Alternatively, silence can be uncomfortable for them. Too many memories of a quiet dinner table populated with warning glares and the ugly sound of silverware against plates. Of a quiet house with no one but then in it. So they always have something playing, whether that be music or a video. Something's always playing, just some background noise. To make them feel less alone and also to remind them that they're okay now.

Especially for emotional abuse, questioning if it was ever *really* abuse. Being gaslighted and told "Well, you never got hit" as a way to discount that experience. Doubting themselves because even though people talk about abuse and everything like it's always different. Sometimes it's the "I'm so sorry, I promise to never do it again. I was just angry." or it's the way no one knows what goes on behind closed doors and continually praises the other person for being such a "hard worker" and "good person" and how you should be "grateful." it's not as obvious sometimes as everyone makes it seem.