#we're mostly nonbinary

[when-they-meow]

okay who else can i add to this

[red-dyed-sarumane]

im not that into hastur but it is one of the rare times a male design actually suits my tastes so im going to run with it for a moment.

[the-acid-pear]

Personally don't headcanon Harry as trans but listening to Mama by MCR is like. I see why others would.

[skaiwrites]

when i think about what it means to be queer, i think about resting my head on my best friend's lap in the high school cafeteria when i was unbearably sick but had to come to school anyways because it was finals week, and i remember that a few weeks earlier he told me he might be bisexual because he thought me and Brendan Urie were really hot, and i remembering thinking this guy thinks i'm hot and here i am pale and sweaty, head in his lap in front of the whole school

when i think about being queer, i think about the time i had to present at the school science fair, and i started hyperventilating in my room looking at myself in the mirror wearing men's dress clothes; i think about my boyfriend at the time texting the head of the school's queer spectrum alliance club about it, and how 10 minutes later i had 12 different outfits from 12 different students to choose from to wear instead, no questions asked

when i think about being queer i think about getting so caught up in a make-out session in the woods with a friend that we lost track of time and i ended up being 10 minutes late to physics the day before our midterm and had to ask to borrow a pencil and paper to take notes. i got a 93 on that midterm btw

when i think about being queer i think about how i didn't want to watch a movie alone, and one 16 hour date and 5 years later, i'm engaged to one of the most incredible men i've ever met

when i think about being queer, i think about how in April of 2020, after being kicked out of my college dorms due to covid, i told my friend, a nonbinary lesbian married to a transgender man, that i couldn't handle getting misgendered at home anymore, in less than an hour i was in their car, on my way to the house they were living at, where they said i could stay as long as i needed

when i think about being queer, i think about how when that ended up not being true, when the owner of that house kicked me out, i texted my now and also then ex boyfriend, and again, in less than an hour, i was in a car, on my way to his house where i could stay as long as i needed.

when i think about being queer, i think about a few months later, sitting at his kitchen table, him calling me a motherfucker because i accidentally tugged too hard emptying his drains from top surgery. sorry about that, btw

when i think about being queer, i think about trying to give my fiance his first T shot and it turning into a multi day ordeal because the pharmacy gave him the wrong needles, but ultimately my sister in law was able to do it for him. i think about how for the past year i've driven him to Park West pharmacy, owned and operated by trans people, and they've given him his shot because he doesn't like doing it himself.

when i think about being queer, i think about the road trip i took a few years ago to visit my friends, and even though we're mostly all "queer content creators" to the outside world, we didn't end up creating any content at all; we hung out, i slept on their couches, they bought me food, we played games, and we were happy

[coulson-is-an-avenger]

what is murderbot about friend👀

ohhhh my god ok.

so imagine, if you will, a free-loving, free-living society sending a team of scientists out to survey a new planet in hopes of finding a lovely place to further their community.

imagine, if you will, once they touch down on the planet, they realize their maps have been sabotaged. dangerous fauna is trying to kill them. their cameras are hacked and reporting them to god knows where.

imagine there are other survey teams on the planet. teams who have been thoroughly and mercilessly wiped out by an unknown force.

they are coming for you next, all blood and splattered skulls and twisted metal, and all you have to defend yourself is your courage, your faith in each other, and your Company-assigned guard robot.

now imagine. if you will.

that your guard robot hacked its own programming, hates people, is aroace, says the fuck word every 5 minutes, and just downloaded 7,000 hours of the greatest TV show in the world: a shitty Star Trek rip off with an in-universe rating of like 30% on rotten tomatoes.

hi, im murderbot, and you're watching my diaries :)

WHSGSHSH ok genuinely it's a sci-fi show based on a book series called The Murderbot Diaries which are all told in POV from the galaxy's most autistic aroace agender (it/its!) robot who wants nothing more than for people to leave it alone so it can watch its (bad) shows.

it's an EXTREMELY funny show and series with speckles of insanely heartfelt moments, and the cast is STACKED even aside from my darling murderbot (dw abt its name. it doesnt murder people. mostly.) we're talking a leader cut from the most "i would follow you to hell and back" cloth ever who's also in a polygamous marriage and has regular panic attacks, an active throuple between a biologist, a sillyass wormhole expert, and a nonbinary lawyer, a geochemist who just keeps doing surgery on people, and The Most Normal Man Ever who is only freshly non suicidal and non indentured and is trying so hard to be normal about everything (he's not succeeding).

there's autism on autism violence. there's anti capitalism. there's weird bug sex. there's surgery on a grape. there's a beautiful attitude of "all of you are so fucking stupid. i'd kill anyone and then myself to save any of you." there's sexual harassment against an ace person that is actually handled well (SHOCKING). there's alexander skarsgard making this face when people look at it too much

[ID: Three screenshots of Murderbot making a wide-eyed, frightened stare. End ID.]

it's a hilarious, earnestly queer, heartfelt show with a sick as fuck spacefaring mystery plot that genuinely i dont fully understand yet (i havent watched episode 9 so nobody say shit). it rocks so much. 10/10 has made me so much worse at eye contact. huge fan.

[this-is-exorsexism]

sometimes i search for nblnb content as someone whos most drawn to nonbinary people of a similar subtype to me (mostly agender) and all i see is stuff that centers wlw or mlm (mostly the former, ig understandably but still—and it's cool if it's someone nb posting it but not so much if it's not) even if i try to filter/block. obviously nonbinary is a spectrum but it seems extra hard to find content that isnt of the "nbs are Always women lite or men lite" flavor. the dearth of unambiguously(!) nb-centric media is maddening (pls recommend any if anyone knows). is this connected to exorsexism? i just want to be somewhere where monogender binary people arent the ones centered for once. at least somewhere where we're equally represented.

this is exorsexism.

yeah, if you look up wlnb/nblw or mlnb/nblm stuff you'll usually just find stuff that is supposedly for these groups but is also targeted at wlw and mlm, and any constellation explicitly centring nonbinary people is sidelined. nblnb stuff specifically has even less visibility, and mostly is only mentioned in the same breath as nblm and nblw and those once again get binarised. it's also telling that nblnb, nblw and nblm content heavily centres around attraction, identity and relationships that are gay or gay-lite, nonbinary men attracted to men, nonbinary sapphics, nonbinary people who are aligned enough with one side of the binary to consider their attraction to men and women sapphic or achillean, all of which is valid of course. but you hardly ever see unaligned or other-aligned nonbinary people atttractee to literally anyone and refusing the gay/straight dichotomy, or god forbid, nonbinary wlm or mlw, because those couldn't possibly be queer enough.

[phannie-elvis]

Phannie Census Update #2 (Preliminary Results!)

Phwoah dads, this is another very long one, so summary at the bottom. I'm gonna hand it over to the mod again now *sexy end screen dance*

Hello everyone! (I'm not gonna change color again because of how long this is). I know everyone is excited for results. Unfortunately, for some of the more complicated questions I have, google forms can't do the kind of math I want, so I need to export the data and write a whole bunch of code and stuff. That being said, for a lot of simpler questions, google forms has a little summary with some graphs and stuff, so I thought I would share that now so we can have some results a lot sooner! I'm gonna go through each question on the survey and say what percent each response got (from highest to lowest, followed by write-ins), as well as the response rate for each question and any noteworthy comments I have.

Disclaimer: I'm going to leave the survey open until I export the data for the final analysis, so it's possible that the results of this will change from I state in this post. However, given that the response rate has been slowing down pretty significantly the past couple days I think that nearly all the responses I'm going to get are already in, so this is probably a pretty good reflection of the data.

These are the results as of 6/14 at 7 PM ET. Total responses so far: 1,577!

Do you currently identify as a lesbian? (99.7 % response rate)

71.3% No, 28.7% Yes

Obviously, we're not 100% lesbians, but I still think 28.7% is pretty high! According to a recent Gallup poll, 1.4% of US adults identify as lesbian (I couldn't find any specifically lesbian stats for the whole world), so 28.7% is wayyyyy higher. Even among LGBTQ+ US adults in general, 14.6% identified as lesbian, so we have a greater "density" of lesbians even given that the Dan and Phil audience is largely queer.

2. Have you ever identified as a lesbian? (99.7% response rate)

54.5% Yes, 45.5% No

I was surprised to see this! I think it's really funny, given the stereotype, that the majority of respondents have identified as lesbian at one point in their lives. I guess Dan and Phil really do know us lol.

3. What's your sexual/romantic orientation? (99.6% response rate)

42.2% Bi/Pan/Omni, 40.9% Queer, 34.8% Gay/Lesbian, 29.3% Ace/Aro, 9.6% Demi, 5.5% Straight, 3.04% write-ins

I was expecting this, but I think it's still funny that the smallest percent other than write-ins was straight lol. I do think the fact that this is tumblr, the Gay People Website, might have something to do with that, but I think it still reflects that the Dan and Phil fan base is pretty solidly queer. (Side note: I can't determine what percent of respondents were LGBTQ+ from the google form, since I can't combine the sexuality and gender data, but I can do that for my final results).

4. What's your gender? (98.5% response rate)

50.8% Woman, 16.7% A different kind of nonbinary (specify in other), 15.5% Genderfluid, 15.3% Man, 13.8% Agender, 5% Demigirl, 3.2% Demiboy, 2.5% Bigender/Polygender, 2.4% Genderqueer (write-in), 0.8% Intersex, ?% other write-ins

I can't do the math for the rest of the write-ins because the google form is being weird, but they were mostly some form of "just nonbinary", not sure/questioning, or transmasc. I think it's funny we have more nonbinary and genderfluid respondents than men respondets. In addition to being a very queer phandom, we're also very genderqueer and I love that for us.

5. What's your gender identity? (98.5% response rate)

48.3% Cisgender, 41.1% Nonbinary, 27.4% Transgender, 0.6% Intersex, 3.6% write-ins

Most of the write-ins were people who were still questioning their gender or didn't feel a connection to gender at all. Again, I think it's funny less than half of respondents are cis. We're really such a queer and trans phandom.

6. What was your assigned gender at birth? (98.9% response rate)

96.1% Female, 2.4% Prefer not to say, 0.4% Actually my doctor was super cool and didn't assign me a gender against my will, 0.4% Male, 0.7% write-ins

I was expecting a pretty high majority female, but 96.1% still surprised me lol. I guess the stereotype that ten years ago all dan and Phil fans were "obsessed teenage girls" (or at least teenage girls) does hold some weight. The write-ins were mostly people saying that they weren't a phannie 10 years ago or they weren't a phannie until after they transitioned.

7. What's your race/ethnicity? (99.6% response rate)

85.2% White, 10.3% Hispanic, 7.3% Asian/South Asian, 2.5% Black, 1.7% Middle Eastern, 1.1% Native American, American Indian, or Alaska Native, 0.5% Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander, 2.6% write-ins

I was expecting a pretty high percent white and wasn't too surprised by this, but I was hoping for a little more diversity. The write-ins were all pretty different, although some form of Jewish and different versions of mixed did appear somewhat often.

8. What's your age? (95.2% response rate)

Unfortunately after about a third of the results came in, google stopped showing me the frequency of each response and just listed the responses. Some people gave a range instead, so I don't have precise numbers to do math with, but the range for people who provided a precise number is 12 to 50 years old. When I could see the frequency, 23 and 25 were in a tight race for the most popular response, but that might've changed. I'll be able to find the average once I do my complicated analysis. (Also, I had multiple responses for each decade between 12 and 50 so we have a pretty decent spread in ages, even if most people are likely in their twenties/thirties!)

9. Which continent are you from? (99.1% response rate)

56% North America, 29.9% Europe, 5.9% Australia, 3.3% Asia, 3.1% South America, 1.5% Oceania/Zealandia, 0.3% Africa, 0.1% Antarctica

Unfortunately the Oceania/Zealandia was not there for the first several hundred respondents, so sorry to anyone who wanted to pick that option but couldn't! (The US education system failed me). These results are pretty much what I was expecting. One person said they were from Antarctica. I don't know if they were kidding or if maybe they're a researcher who lives in Antarctica (in which case, cool!)

10. Which country are you from? (96.0% response rate)

49.9% United States, 13.7% United Kingdom, 5.5% Australia, 5.3% Canada, 4.2% Germany (These are the top 5, I can't list every country because there are simply too many). Here is a graph to try to show you how many responses I got, even though the key doesn't fit in frame lol.

Although about half the pie graph is the U.S., there are so so many responses, which I love. There are phannies all over the world! I can't reliably see all the countries listed right now (I have to hover my mouse over each 0.1% of the pie chart to try to read it), but when I can see some, I've seen countries all over the world (which makes sense given the previous question). Sincere apologies to anyone whose country was not listed. I couldn't offer a write-in option in the drop-down and it was hard to find a list of countries that included everything, given how politically contentious the recognition of countries can be. (This list came from Encyclopedia Brittanica in case anyone was curious).

Fun fact: That top 5 list is very similar to the top 5 countries viewers are from on the AmazingPhil Video Trivia page in tabinof (which is U.S., U.K., Canada, Australia, Germany). His page lists the top 10, but I can't read that pie chart well enough to compare past Germany lol.

11. Which of the 4 Gs of the Dan and Phil demographic are you? (99.8% response rate)

87.4% Gays, 84.6% Geeks, 64.1% Girlies, 37.9% Goths, 0.7% None actually, 2.6% write-ins

Hilarious to me that only 0.7% selected "none”. Dan really clocked us with that one. Most of the write-ins are people who are not sure if emo/punk counts as goth (I feel like yes in this case, since Dan and Phil fans are more stereotypically emo but Dan wanted something that started with a G), people who said they were formerly a category (usually girlie), or people who weren't sure if they qualified for a category or not.

Fun fact: These results are pretty close to the results @a-human-beann got when they conducted a poll about the 4 Gs in May. Although the way the question was programmed led to different interpretations of the percentages, the most popular response was still Gays, followed closely by Geeks, then Girlies, then Goths, just like here.

12. Did Dan make you trans/question your gender? (99.4% response rate)

34.7% No, I questioned my gender all on my own (or something else made me I guess), 27.5% No, I've always been sure I'm cis, 14.3% No I made myself trans (or something else did I guess), 14% Yes, he made me question my gender, 5.5% Yes, he made me trans, 4% write-ins

I was a little surprised by this one. I know realistically that Dan isn't "making" anyone trans, I just thought more people would pick it to be funny, but (based on the write-ins) people were actually interpreting the question as who inspired the start to their exploration of gender, which is actually far more interesting so that's cool. The write-ins had a lot of different answers, mostly giving some but not all credit to Dan (and/or Phil).

13. What year did you join the phandom? (99.6% response rate)

14.0% 2014, 13.5% 2015, 10.5% 2013, 10.9% 2012, 10.7% 2016 (These are the top 5, there were responses for every year since 2009). Here is the chart if you want to see about how popular a specific year was. 2009 is the dark blue slice after the white gap, then they go clockwise in order. The slice before the white gap is "I have so little memory of it, I can't even guess).

This is pretty in line with what I was expecting, peak joining around tatinof and the British vlogger boom. 10.9% of respondents joined during the hiatus (or at the very beginning of Back from the Dead, since I did 2019-2023), and 8.6% joined after the hiatus (2024-2025).

14. At this exact moment in time, are you a dannie or a phillie? (99.4% response rate)

36.2% I literally couldn't decide with a gun pointed to my head, 35% Dannie, 28.8% Phillie

This one surprised me again (I feel like I say that almost every question lol). I was really expecting Phillies to be the majority given the prevailing "Phil is a precious baby angel who must be protected" sentiment that the phandom tends to have lol. However, after reading the nuance question (coming up), I realized that people interpret the question differently which could affect responses to this one (I'll discuss that later). It's also a pretty even split between all three categories, even though there were more dannies than phillies. Early on, it switched a couple times between whether there were more dannies or phillies but it's pretty stable now given the sample size.

15. When you first joined the phandom, were you a dannie or a phillie? (99.4% response rate)

66.9% Dannie, 17.5% Phillie, 15.6% I literally couldn't decide with a gun pointed to my head

I was expecting Dan to have the majority here, but that's still quite a large majority. This makes sense given that he has more subscribers (and had more subscribers around the time most of us joined the phandom). I do love that "I literally couldn't decide with a gun pointed to my head" has gone from the least popular option for when people joined to the most popular option today. Here's the graph to compare to the last question.

16. Are you a dannie or a phillie? (with nuance) (41.9% response rate)

I don't have any stats here, since they are all long responses, but I'm planning on making a word cloud or something for the final results. While reading, I realized that there are different interpretations of what constitutes a dannie vs. phillie. Some people think the question basically means who do you like more, while some interpret it more as who do you relate to more (or some mix between them). I wonder if this could help explain the general "we must protect Phil"/"he can do no wrong" type of thing we've got going on, despite the fact that apparently more respondents are dannies. Based on the written responses I've seen (which, again, have not been scientifically analyzed at all), I think that a lot of people relate to Dan and therefore really appreciate how great Phil is. Maybe there's also still some remnants of Phil's old branding as the "innocent one" that make us want to protect him, idk. I'd be interested in asking who do you like more vs. who do you relate to more separately in the future.

17. Are you some kind of mentally ill/neurodivergent? (99.6% response rate)

59.0% Yes (and diagnosed), 28.3% Yes (but not diagnosed), 6.1% Not sure, 4.1% No (and I was never assessed), 0.4% No (but I was assessed), 1.9% write-ins

Honestly, I'm just gonna stop writing that I was surprised, because I feel like it's getting annoying. Assume I was surprised unless I state otherwise lol. (I was expecting that we would have a high percentage of yeses, but this many specifically is what surprised me). 87.3% of respondents answered some form of yes. Good thing Dan's here to cure all of us (Boom, Mr. Beast). Most write-ins were people saying yes/probably but clarifying stages of diagnosis and some people said they used to have a diagnosis like depression or anxiety, but they're better now! (Congrats!)

18. Specifically, are you autistic? (99.6% response rate)

27.1% Yes (but not diagnosed), 26.2% No (and I was never assessed), 20.7% Yes (and diagnosed), 20.5% Not sure, 2.0% No (but I was assessed), 3.5% write-ins

47.8% answered some form of yes. I realized that people who have Dan and Phil as a special interest are probably more likely to be on phannie tumblr and more likely to find this survey, but I do still think that stereotype that a lot of phannies are autistic does have some basis. It's estimated that 1% of the world population is autistic (from the World Health Organization), so 47.8% is definitely way higher (which would suggest phannies are more likely to be autistic than the general population, but again this was not a perfect sample collection so I can't say for sure) (I think if we could say that, a likely explanation would just be that the phandom is pretty accepting of neurodivergence, especially autism, which could attract autistic fans or encourage phannies to explore their own neurodivergence more). Write-ins were mostly people who were basically self-diagnosed but felt the need to present their case because they weren't sure (which I think is hilarious because that seems like a pretty autistic thing to do lol (I would do the exact same thing lol)). Here's the chart so you can see how close to 50% the yeses are and also so you can see how many people gave write-ins clarifying lol (I blocked out the write-ins it showed in the key).

19. If you identify as transmasc, do you consider Dan or Phil to be gender goals? (97.7% response rate)

61.8% I'm not transmasc, 14.3% Dan, 12.3% Both, 6.2% Neither, 1.4% Phil, 4% write-ins

This one wasn't surprising (I've just heard a lot of people say Dan which is why I asked the question). A lot of write-ins specified that they weren't transmasc but still considered one/both of them to be gender goals (which makes me realize I could've worded that question better). A lot of write-ins also specified a specific era that they considered gender goals.

20. What's your political orientation? (98.2% response rate)

72.3% Strongly left, 20.3% Moderately left, 3.7% I don't really think about politics, 1.4% Center, 0.3% Strongly right, 0.2% Moderately right, 1.8% write-ins

This one didn't really surprise me. I was expecting a strong majority strongly left, given how much they speak up about political issues (particularly Dan). Although I was a little surprised to see any right-leaning at all, especially strongly right, but that's literally 7 people out of the whole 1,577 responses so far. Also, a lot of people in the write-ins couldn't remember which was left and which was right or said it worked differently in their country (they usually then explained their politics and ended up meaning some form of "left") (there's a chance the people who picked right got them mixed up as well, but it's so little that maybe there really are some strong right-leaning Dan and Phil fans somehow). A lot of write-ins also said anarchy/fuck politics/they don't believe in politics.

21. Which is better, phyuri or phaoi? (98.3% response rate)

36.6% How dare you ask me to pick one?, 31.4% Phaoi, 21.2% Phyuri, 8.6% I don't know what we're talking about, 2.2% write-ins

I didn't have any expectations for this one, although personally I am a phyuri lover myself. Most write-ins were either saying they were neutral about it or didn't like either because they don't like shipping real people.

22. Are you a furry? (99.3% response rate)

75.4% No, 18.1% I dabble, but wouldn't call myself a full furry, 4.6% Yes, 1.9% write-ins

I wasn't surprised by this one at first because I had no frame of reference for what percent of the general population are furries, and I was just expecting most people to say no (but quite a few to be somewhere in between which is why I added the I dabble option). However, I just googled it and according to a survey from 2011 furries estimated that roughly between 0.02% and 0.04% of the population are furries, so 4.6% yeses (not even including write-ins or the I dabble option) is wayyy higher. This being on tumblr probably has something to do with that, but I also think all of Dan's furry references have probably helped people find the furry community more easily.

23. Do you think Sister Daniel is hot? (99.0% response rate)

80.3% Yes, 8.1% No, 6.3% I'm too confused to tell, 6.3% write-ins

This is pretty much what I was expecting (a resounding yes). Most of the write-ins were people clarifying that while they personally were not attracted to her (usually because they were ace), they acknowledged that she was still objectively hot.

Summary:

While not every phannie identifies as a lesbian, around 28% of respondents do and around 54% have at one point in their lives, which is way higher than the percent of lesbians in the U.S. population. The respondents were overwhelmingly queer (only 5.5% identified as straight) and way more likely to be some sort of genderqueer compared to the general population (more nonbinary and genderfluid respondents than men respondents, only around 48% of respondents identified as cis). 96% of respondents were assigned female at birth, so there is some truth to the stereotypical view of phannies 10 years ago. The large majority of respondents were white or mixed race including white (around 85%). Google Forms hates me, so I couldn't get good stats on the ages yet, but 20s and 30s appear to be the most common ages (23 and 25 were the most common responses before it stopped letting me see the frequency of each response), and the ages ranged from 12 to 50. About half of respondents were from the U.S. followed by around 14% from the U.K., but there were responses from literally too many countries for me to count on the pie chart and responses from every continent (which is super cool!). Out of the 4 Gs, the most popular was the Gays (87%) followed by the Geeks (85%), then Girlies (64%), then Goths (38%), and only 0.7% of respondents selected "None, actually", so Dan really clocked us with that one. Most people actually say Dan didn't make them trans/question their gender (even most trans people said no), which I was a little surprised by, but it is just a joke, so that makes sense. The most common years to join the phandom were around tatinof and the Great British vlogger boom (2012-2016), but there were responses every year since 2009 to 2025. Right now, people are pretty evenly split between whether they're dannies, phillies, or can't decide (with can't decide being in the lead, followed by dannie, then phillie). However, about 2/3 of respondents said they were dannies when they first joined the phandom. For the long response nuance question, I discovered there's lots of way of interpreting what makes someone a dannie vs. a phillie. A large majority of respondents were some kind of mentally ill/neurodivergent (87% combining diagnosed and undiagnosed), with 48% being autistic (combining diagnosed and undiagnosed). Most respondents were not transmasc, but for those who were, most consider Dan to be gender goals (14% of respondents), followed by Both (12%), Neither (6%), and then Phil (1%). Respondents were overwhelmingly likely to identify as being politically left (72% strongly left and 20% moderately left), but a small percentage identified with the right (0.5%). Most people couldn't pick between phyuri and phaoi, but phaoi did get more votes than phyuri (31% vs. 21%). Most respondets (75%) were not furries, but 18% dabble and 5% said yes, which is much higher than estimates for the general population. Finally, 80% of respondents agree that Sister Daniel is hot (with only 8% saying No).

Again, HUGE thank you to everyone who took the survey!!! I can’t believe the response rates are so high for every question!! Over half of the questions had above a 99% and every question (other than the long response nuance question which people didn’t answer if they didn’t have nuance lol) had above a 95%! This has been so much fun to analyze, and I can't wait to get started on my full analysis. Also, thank you so so much to the people who have said nice things about how the survey was well-made/fun to take, it really makes me so happy to see!

Next week: I'm planning on sharing my favorite write-in responses for each question! Dan and Phil are right, we really are funnier than them, so I want to share some of the responses that made me laugh. They'll all still be kept anonymous (I don't even have a way of finding who wrote them), and I'm not going to share anything that I think could be personal, just things that made me laugh. (If you have a response that was funny but you don't want shared for whatever reason, DM me or send an anonymous ask with what it was and I'll make sure not to include it!)

Athankyouverymuch everyone!

[nothorses]

This is a genuine ask and I hope it doesn't come off as rude, obviously people can do whatever they want forever, but what is the logic behind a lesbian dating a transgender man? (By lesbian I mean someone who is only attracted to women), wouldn't that exclude binary trans men then since trans men are men? Or is it like "Trans men can be lesbians because they have vaginas" which just feels like bioessentialism with progressive wording...

I think the core misunderstanding here might be in your use of the word "logic". And there's a super high chance I'm extrapolating more intention than you put into that word choice, but hear me out.

On a super basic level, I think it's important to understand the reasons people use words like "lesbian" and "trans man" in the first place. In certain contexts, it makes sense to assign these terms more rigid definitions: a study would likely have a single, clear definition for those words in order to talk about some research results. An academic essay might need a shared definition if they're talking about broad trends and systemic issues.

But when we're talking about an individual's choice of identity labels- the words they use to describe their own personal experiences and relationship to gender and orientation- it doesn't make as much sense to apply someone else's definition of those words to that individual's use of them. They're trying to describe their own internal world to you; what matters in that conversation is how they understand the words they use, and why they chose them.

Don't get me wrong: common understandings of a word can play a part in that conversation! My understanding of what "gay trans man" means has been shaped almost entirely by other people. I chose those words for myself because of what I think most people will understand them to mean. In twenty years, it's possible that the common understandings of those words could change, and I might use different words to better communicate the same internal experience.

But I also might not. I might decide that my personal connection to those words is more important to me, or even that saying I'm a "gay trans man", as a person 20 years older than I am now, better reflects my internal experience as one that was shaped by the time I came to understand myself in. Maybe it'll be important to me to communicate that I understand myself as a "gay trans man" because of what those words meant 20 years ago. Maybe it'll be important to me to ask tomorrow's queer people to learn about my context, and my story, in order to really understand me.

And maybe, when I fill out a survey for a queer study in 20 years, I'll read the definitions they use for all of these identity labels and categorize myself accordingly, even though I don't personally identify with those definitions or words.

So yeah, I could talk about all the reasons someone might identify as a "lesbian" and still be attracted to trans men. I could talk about trans men who still call themselves "lesbians" because of what the words meant 20 or 40 years ago, or some unique definition they heard in one place and decided they liked enough to keep, even though nobody else has even heard it. I could talk about lesbians whose partners turn out to be trans men, and who still feel attracted to them afterwards; whose partners are okay with, or even feel validated by, their lesbian partners still calling themselves "lesbians". I could talk about nonbinary trans men, and bigender or multigender trans men, who are women and/or lesbians as much as they are trans men. I could talk about bi and pan lesbians, who may find themselves attracted to one trans man or a handful of men- trans and cis both- but otherwise mostly experience attraction to women.

But like, the point shouldn't be to find a good enough reason to justify it. The point isn't the "logic". The point is to understand that everyone's internal experience is fundamentally different from yours, and to be curious about each individual.

It's great that you asked this question in sincerity, but I'm the wrong person to be asking.

When someone says they're a lesbian who's attracted to trans men, they're trying to share something about themselves with you! That is a precious, unique thing you are being entrusted with. Get curious! Ask them what those words mean to them, and take the opportunity to get to know them better. Learn their story! Connect!

I can't tell you that person's story any more than you can guess it on your own, no matter how much you try to logic it out. That's exciting! The world is big, and it's full of unique stories and perspectives you couldn't even dream of inventing! That's so much better than a logic puzzle, don't you think?

[mothbeasts]

actually I'm just gonna say it some of y'all are strange about trans people.

hi. going to speak on something that's been bothering me for the past... however long, since it seems like complaint posts have been cropping up lately. putting this under the cut.

Maybe I'm reading too far into things. Maybe I'm wrong. But I feel like there is a massive difference in how this fandom treats the women versus the men.

Again. Maybe I'm wrong. I sincerely hope I'm just wrong. It's hard to think that, though, when I see the differences in how people treat the major antagonists of the series.

John Juniper is a fandom favorite. I feel like people have talked about him more than any other character I've seen, save for Agent Phoenix and perhaps the Handler. I see people come up with any reason for him to not actually be as bad of a person as we see in canon - despite the fact that he wants to launch nuclear weapons. He wants to kidnap and impersonate public figures. He's having a good time playing the villain. I've seen his actions excused in any number of ways.

Meanwhile... When people do talk about Solaris, it tends to be to remind people of very surface level information, rather than to do any sort of in depth analysis style posts. I see information that's incomplete or just not really true passed around a lot. The Fabricator is flattened down so incredibly often to just one character trait - her anger, typically exaggerated to be comical hatred of John Juniper in particular or just... Violence in general. And yes, she gets angry frequently, but I never see her given the same depth to that anger as John Juniper is given to his. And Prism? An antagonist that gets as much screen time as Juniper, if not more? I hardly see her mentioned at all these days. And even when she was talked about, I don't recall seeing many people analyze her character. Or talk about her motivations. Definitely not in the same way Juniper gets talked about, at the very least. All three of them are mischaracterized often, from my observations, flattened to pave the way for... John Juniper, mostly.

And that's not even getting into the background women who aren't talked about at all when compared to the men with similar story roles.

It's... Frustrating. I surround myself with people who enjoy the characters I do, who find it interesting to talk about the women in this game. I make the content I want to see. But the last time I said anything outside of those close circles, I was told to... Make the content I want to see. To engage with the content that's out there. And that frustrates me, too. Because I'm making it. I had been making it. I was actively working on Biomechatronic at the time. I was drawing, posting my art, and ever since I entered the fandom I've focused mainly on the women - The Fabricator, in particular. And I don't make art just for views or internet points or what have you, but it is discouraging to feel like the fandom doesn't care about what I have to offer.

Like whatever characters you want to like. I'm not trying to tell anyone to stop making the art or posts they enjoy making. But... I have noticed a trend, and it's one I find somewhat concerning. That's all.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

tell us more about remy's gender situation how is that contributing to holding off evil ghosts im fascinated by the implications there.

lmaooo okay so the witch ghost is like. she's like an old timey cartoon east coast witch trials witch. like if you've seen Scooby Doo and the Witch's Ghost that's what we're working with. which makes Tash very mad, btw, she keeps trying to explain the actual Salem witch trials to Remy and he's like. okay. shrug emoji. that doesn't change that I have an evil cartoon witch in my body. you can't history lesson me out of this.

so our girl laid down a curse before she died basically guaranteeing that she would be able to return by possessing the body of another woman. yadda yadda, details are blurry.

so enter Remy, exploring the creepy old library at the girls' boarding school his parents sent him to as part of their effort to making him stop transing his gender. (didn't work.) he finds the book where the witch's soul is bound up and like, oops, wouldn't you know it. witch is loose. and she tried to take over his body except like. well. he's not a woman. he's not really sure if he's a guy or nonbinary or what. like, he's kind of a dyke! but he's definitely Not A Woman. and he's been enjoying his illicitly purchased street testosterone. so like. idk. he doesn't know for sure and fuck you if you need a solid answer (what are you, a cop?) but it's got this witch all confused because she has no context for body with uterus but isn't a woman, so her curse kind of ??? imploded ??? because exact wording is important in magic. she thinks he's a woman, he knows he's not, the magic just went splat. so the possession went Badly, in the sense that she kind of managed to carve out a bubble in Remy's consciousness but not actually take over anything. and also she moved in boxes and boxes of magic to someone else's house (body) when she tried to take it over but the teenage tenant didn't leave and is now using her magic BADLY to get revenge on his terrible parents.

he calls her the terf witch and he hates her but he also likes having her magic and is like. 99% sure he can keep her mostly under control enough that it won't be a problem.

[worm-fanon-polls]

All the undersiders, even including taylor, are canonically cis. Thus this poll is mostly about who has the most trans vibes.

"hey everybody who's the most transgender undersider? SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY."

"...Brian. Taylor. Taylor. Taylor, Taylor. It's Taylor. It's definitely taylor. DW, it's Taylor. It's Taylor... I think it's Taylor."

"I think It'd be lisa. I think so too... It would be lisa transmasc nonbinary genderfluid. King of the junjle- junjle but still social, and with it, and ferocious.”

Taylor would win by a country mile. So we're doing a special non-taylor version of the poll

Make sure to tell me what you think and why you think it!

[ladyimaginarium]

coining the term twospiritphobia / twospiritmisia.

Q: what is twospiritphobia / twospiritmisia?

A: the discrimination, hatred, exclusion & erasure of those who identify as two spirit and/or indigiqueer.

Q: why not just call it homophobia/transphobia against indigenous qipoc / queer indigenous poc?

A: because not every indigenous person identifies by western lgbtqia+ labels which are a predominantly western eurocentric concept that does not always align with indigenous turtle island concepts, not all queer natives identify with two spirit due to its heavy inherent historical, social, political, cultural, spiritual & ceremonial connotations & because we deserve to have our terms to describe our own experiences of discrimination that inherently includes our indigeneity & our own sacred two spirit nature.

Q: why did you(&) coin this term?

A: because i've noticed that in the past year & even before, the predominantly white queer community refuses to include us let alone see us & when they do, it's usually to tokenize us then throw us away when we're no longer convenient, erase us (see: nex benedict, when the mostly white queer community erased their indigenous two spirit identity to make them their trans/nonbinary martyr despite them being choctaw & completely ignoring mmeiwg2s+/mmeip issues which is never talked about in queer spaces unless natives talk about it), talk down to us when we don't conform to your western concepts of gender & orientation that do not inherently apply to us, speak over us & our issues & push us out of your fucking queer spaces without ever actually trying to work with us despite the fact that we the two spirit community who were revered as sacred have existed on turtle island for over 5000 years & were the first victims & survivors of racist imperialist homophobic & transphobic based war crimes & genocide & have been fighting & resisting for our liberation far before anyone else ever set foot on these lands, longer than any other queer community on turtle island, longer than stonewall & whenever queer history is brought up, two spirit people & the violence against us from the beginning of colonization of turtle island are never discussed & quite frankly i've had enough of native erasure both historically speaking & in the present day. there's a reason why there's a 2s in front of 2slgbtqia+ in "canada", because we were here first. we will not be erased. there can be no liberation without two spirits at the center of queer activism. by adding this to your vocabulary you acknowledge & honor two spirits as the first queer people of turtle island & we deserve your allyship, respect, protection & solidarity, respect the indigenous roots of the term two spirit, honor indigenous peoples' way of living, loving & learning & building communities across turtle island, emphasize the importance of indigenous perspectives & identities within the broader 2slgbtqia+ community & further acknowledging & recognizing the historical & ongoing contributions of indigenous peoples to discussions about gender & sexual diversity & highlights the need for visibility & inclusion of two spirits in these conversations & acknowledging, respecting & honoring indigenous peoples as the traditional stewards of the land & that indigenous peoples were the first to build communities that honored romantic, sexual, gender & sex diversity on the land of turtle island ever since time immemorial.

Q: what are some examples of twospiritphobia?

A: the erasure of two spirits both historically & in the present, assaulting/committing hatecrimes against individuals who are, or who are perceived or assumed to be two spirits, nonnatives — both white settlers & nonnative poc — culturally appropriating two spirit when it's an exclusive closed term from closed cultures for indigenous people of turtle island, if you are not first nations, métis, inuit, indigenous american, alaska native, indigenous mexican, indigenous central american, greenlandic inuit or otherwise not indigenous to turtle island and/or mixed with any of those groups, & you are not either reconnecting, semiconnected or connected to your culture, you cannot use the term, using antinative slurs against two spirits on any context or form that one cannot reclaim and/or using said antinative slurs casually/as insults, harassing/threatening/mocking/intimidating two spirit individuals while motivated by said individual's two spirit & indigenous identity whether online or face-to-face, treating two spirits differently than pericishetallo natives, even if one is native themselves, attempting to "correct" two spirits on their own identities, saying our two spirit identities are wrong, using religion and/or spirituality as an excuse to harm or exclude two spirit people, fetishizing/objectifying/sexualizing/romanticizing individuals based on their two spirit identities, opposing and/or dismissing the need for explicit two spirit representation & progress for two spirit rights & two spirit liberation, erasing two spirit issues as inherently gay/trans issues, not acknowledging twospiritphobic behavior in others, refusing to speak up for two spirit people, telling two spirits that they're unnatural or "attention seeking", speaking over two spirited people when they tell you you're being racist/being twospiritphobic, policing two spirits on who we can & can't be in relation to ourselves especially from nonnatives even more from white settlers, accusing two spirits of "oppression olympics" whenever we bring up our issues, not acknowledging two spirits as the first queer people who've existed for thousands of years on turtle island & denying indigeneity as the core element of being two spirit.

disclaimer: do not fucking remove credit from us& being the coiner of this term, while the experiences of twospiritphobia/twospiritmisia are nothing new, we& as an indigenous bodied system demand respect as the coiner of this term. please ask if you intend on using this term on your wikis/masterlists. do not use this term for yourself to describe your experiences if nonnative/2S. nonnatives do not fucking derail, especially yt folx.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for calling out someone for being manipulative towards a trans friend? Names have been changed for privacy reasons and TLDR at the end because this is long.

I (24f) am cis but have had a lot of trans friends (binary, nonbinary, and neopronoun) throughout the years and am very supportive so i take this very seriously. So I met this girl my first year in college (we were 18 at the time) and we became friends. We're polar opposites, she talks a lot and I don't, she parties a lot and I like to do more sophisticated things, she's a typical extrovert basically, and I'm more introverted. Anne (24f) was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I don't know when, she just told me this years ago. I've seen tiktoks about bpd and researched Google about bpd a little so I know all about how they have fave persons and will "mimic" people in the friend group and become clingy, manipulate, etc. I've seen pics of her in high school, noticed that she was a theater kid, she said she was good at acting and even said she thinks her bpd helped with her acting although I'm not sure how, but she said she only joined the theater club because a boy she had a crush on was in theater. That should've been my first red flag but I was naive. She has a degree in something else (not theater) because our second year in college her favorite character in a TV show did a certain job, she got interested in that, and now she also does that as a living. She doesn't talk about her bpd, she's only mentioned it a handful of times. I can count on one hand how many times. And I get it because she said someone once told her people with bpd should be sterilized and not be allowed near children. Which is really messed up and I hate that someone said that.

However on with the situation. One of our friends Mike (25m) is a trans man. We met him four years ago. He's very handsome, broody, introverted, intelligent, great listener, very accepting and understanding, similar to me but opposite to her. Now we didn't know he was trans until two years ago, because I asked him on a date and he turned me down, and when I asked why he told me that he was mostly T4T and only viewed me as a friend. We were like woah you're trans, okay that's cool, etc. He explained that he was lucky enough to get on puberty blockers and transition young etc which is why he passes. I said okay I'm not trans and you're mostly T4T fair enough.

Well last year Anne suddenly tells us that she is trans too. She says she's bigender. She says she is okay with either she her or he him because she feels like a man and a woman at the same time. Some days she's a woman, some days she's a man, and some days she's both, according to her. She says she does not like they them pronouns. Suddenly her and Mike are spending all this extra time together. Last month he confided in me that he thinks he's in love with her, after years of him only seeing her as a friend, and then they started officially dating.

Here's the problem: she has not changed her outward appearance, her name, started any kind of medical stuff, joined any groups, bought a binder etc. We all continue to call her she and her because she fully presents as female and doesn't have a problem with it. Also she's very effeminate in body language, the way she talks, etc. I know technically I could call her a he or a him, too, but she never asks me to or corrects people when they call her she because well technically she is a she too. Mike is the only one who uses he and him pronouns with her as often as she and her, but she has never thanked him. It really feels like she's saying she's trans and then going about her life exactly as a cis woman simply to convince Mike to date her.

First off, Anne and Mike are NOT compatible. She likes to party, smoke weed, talks a lot, I'm not sure how she graduated with such good grades or why she does so well in her job because she is honestly a LOT to handle and I'm saying that as nice as possible. Mike would never touch weed or go to clubs and he says he would be fine staying home while she does those things but how could you trust someone to party while high and not hook up with others? I've seen her make out with five people in one night at a frat party. They also had wildly different childhoods, such as she grew up in a conservative community and doesn't speak to her family, and he grew up in a liberal area and is close with his family. But more importantly she has a history of joining theater because she had a crush on someone in theater (plus she admits she is good at acting, so maybe she is acting now?) and getting a degree and job in a field because a favorite fictional character did that and now this? It feels like she was attracted to him, found out he usually dates other trans people, and found a way to continue being cis but claim to be trans without having to do anything trans related, basically mimicing her favorite person. As soon as they met they hit it off, or should I say she clung to him and pretended to have the same likes and dislikes whenever they were alone I assume.

It sounds terrible I know, which is why I discussed this with a group chat first that neither of them are in, and the group chat not only agreed that she is far too "obnoxious" for him (those were NOT my words!) but that she is faking being trans in an attempt to make him fall in love with her (which seems to be working.) I would NEVER have gone further without making sure with them first. So then a few of the people in my group chat and I held an intervention with Anne alone. The six of us (the others don't live close enough to come) met up with Anne at her place and told her what she was doing was wrong and gross and that she needed to get help for her bpd and to stop catfishing Mike. She didn't take well to what was said, which I anticipated, but she went crazy. She was screaming at us, insulting us, sobbing while yelling etc, literally said if we ever contacted her again she would call the cops, so we left.

I immediately called Mike before she could and asked him to meet me at a restaurant nearby and that it was very important. Since Mike doesn't know anyone in the group chat I went alone and I explained EVERYTHING before she could gaslight and manipulate him even further. He left, did not finish or pay for his food. I messaged him several times, but a few hours later he texted me to never to speak to him again, and then blocked me on everything. I showed up to his house and Anne was there. Mike said if I ever contacted him again he would get a restraining order on me so I left. I've discussed this with the group chat and now suddenly half of them changed their mind and don't want to talk about it anymore. Several of them left the group chat. Not only that but several of my friends who know either Mike or Anne or both have blocked me on everything. When I've tried to contact these friends through other means and explain everything, they either didn't respond or said for me never to contact them again because I was being transphobic. Listen I know under NORMAL circumstances you shouldn't question when someone comes out but this is NOT a normal situation, and now I am concerned Anne is unsafe for Mike but also an unsafe person to know, as she literally is trying to destroy my life because I called her out on some seriously messed up and abusive behavior.

TLDR am I the asshole for trying to protect my trans friend from a potential stalker?

What are these acronyms?

[eff-plays]

Goddd I keep seeing ppl defend the use of "non-binary" and saying it's unapologetic and doesn't allow for interpretation and how that's good because that means bigots and chuds won't be able to look away and deny anything.

And like cool I'm glad that you found this empowering in some way but to imply that anybody who doesn't is a hater who doesn't get it or a bigot is uuh. Well it's fucking insane and I'm tired of being nice about it!! Sorry dude! If you think anybody who's uncomfortable with Taash's writing is a bad person then you're brain broken!

First of all the implication that representation should be written to pre-empt the reactions of bigots rather than to organically depict and integrate the people you're claiming you care about kinda sucks ass?? Kinda insane actually? And also like ... how has that worked out for them lmao. Taash has become the icon for Veilguard itself among the very chuds it set out to prove something to.

Second of all. Dorian didn't go around saying "I am a homosexual man. I am gay" but we still knew what the fuck his story was about. Sera didn't say "yeah I'm a lesbian btw" and we still knew! If they'd established that using modern language was something that was fine in previous games, this wouldn't have been as jarring. But they didn't!

Third of all I'm fucking tired of having my own discomfort with the writing of Taash be sneered at as though I, a literal nonbinary person who literally has a mother who doesn't "get it" and literally has struggled to figure out where I belong due to my multicultural, immigrant existence, am the same as a trans/enbyphobe for not liking the fucking SLOP I'm being served.

Like, it's fine! It's fine if you like Taash! I'm glad you relate to them and that you see yourself reflected in them! Genuinely! I wish I could say the fucking same! But if I have to see another fucking "um actually Taash is so so so so important to me and anybody who doesn't feel the same way is just a bitter hater and a bigot who doesn't GET IT" I'm going to start blasting.

The blanket-dismissal of genuine criticism as bigotry or just "not getting it" or implying that anybody not comfortable with this "representation" somehow has no emotional intelligence is so much fucking WORSE to see than the reactionary chuds. Like okay wow you, the person supposedly pretending to be SOOO concerned with enby rep in video games are telling ME, a fellow enby, that I'm the same as an anti-woke reactionary assholes who hate us both? Is this a joke??

Well, to be fair, I have yet to see anybody actually, like, tell me they're nonbinary but liked Taash. Mostly it's people going "well yeah um anybody OVER THERE who doesn't like them or is made uncomfortable by their writing is a bigot" without acknowledging that fellow enbies might fucking hate their writing, too. Because that would be acknowledging valid criticism. And we can't fucking have that, can we?

Fuck, man. You felt that Taash was good rep. I felt that it was bad rep. We're both entitled to feel this way, but you don't get to dismiss ME as a bigot because I wasn't pleased with this depiction of a nonbinary person.

Any enby, trans or cis (ally) haters of Taash who also didn't like their writing have my full permission to use all of my Taash hater posts to back up any argument they might have for why their writing sucks. I do not even care anymore. I'm a proud nonbinary multicultural Taash hater and anybody who tells me I'm wrong or bigoted for this can eat my shorts.

Also can we please. Can we please fucking stop with the "well you didn't have a problem with the word MAN or WOMAN so why does this bother you?" Like be so for serious. Be so so so so for serious. I won't even pretend that's a valid argument.

Anyway, give it up for the FIRST TRUE AND BEST ENBY REP IN DRAGON AGE:

[this-is-exorsexism]

i'm seeing a rise right now of binary trans people saying how nonbinary oppression is very different from trans oppression. spoiler: they don't mean the fact that we experience exorsexism and they don't.

every time in the last few days i've seen this the phrasing has already been deeply exorsexist. "nonbinary vs trans", as if most nonbinary people aren't trans themselves. it's also always "nonbinary = not medically transitioning" and "not medically transitioning = less oppressed", which is not how any of this works. they also seem to think that all medical transition is visible from the outside. it's not. i want a hysterectomy one day. it's medical transition. you can't see it from the outside. firstly, why are you assuming nonbinary people who medically transition don't exist? are you just acting like they're trans men and women? is your distinction between "trans" and "nonbinary" that trans people medically transition while nonbinary people don't? fuck your truscum ass. the amount of scrutiny, discomfort, harassment, violence you face also isn't fully related to whether you medically transition or not. i've been asked invasive questions about my genitals ever since i hit puberty. even fellow transgender people have weird ways of trying to figure out what my "real gender" is, i.e. what my genitals are but you all aren't ready for that conversation. i've been harassed in public bathrooms. i've faced dismissal of my actual problem from doctors due to my gender. people call me he and she in mostly equal amounts. none of this lines up with their narrative of the non-medically transitioning nonbinary person who is always perceived as one binary gender (and that gender is usually female because everyone thinks we're women lite). what i don't (currently) have to deal with is getting a gender dysphoria diagnosis, fight for gender-affirming medical care, worry about my prescription being taken away. this isn't exclusive to nonbinary people though. there are binary trans people who don't medically transition, too, but i guess according to this idea soaked in transmedicalism, these people don't exist, or you're just misgendering them as nonbinary.

a lot of binary transgender people treat us the way cisgender people treat them. many seem to feel threatened that us weirdos who won't choose a side have quite a lot in common with them, actually.

when nonbinary people talk about exorsexist oppression, we're either straight up told to shut up or not listened to at all. we're told we're being divisive by talking about our own experiences (and we have to, because again, research doesn't really include us), when the people doing the dividing are binary trans people going "we have nothing in common with those people", treating us like we cannot be trans etc. it's a tale as old as time: the more privileged people within a group separating themselves from the less "respectable"/more marginalised people within the group and then accusing them of being divisive.

i'm sick and tired of binary transgender people theorising about what it's like being nonbinary. we're not hypotheticals. we're not thought experiments. we're real human beings you can listen to.

yes, our experiences are a bit different. but not because nonbinary people are less oppressed. because nonbinary people experience an extra layer of oppression that binary trans people don't: exorsexism.

[velvetvexations]

Saw your tags on that binder post and I thought I’d share that my first introduction to chest binding was actually through the lolita community! A lot of big name japanese brands are not exactly size inclusive and did NOT cater to anyone with more than an A cup, so I did see quite a lot of safe binding advice and methods on blogs and forums back in the day before more inclusive brands became available, ranging from sports bra to actual proper binders. I’m probably not the only example of the “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress” to “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress and gender reasons)” pipeline, but plenty of other lolitas I know are still cis women who just do it on occasion or for specific pieces that aren’t very forgiving on the tits! I doubt that a single niche fashion subculture is the reason for those binders being marketed towards cis women so heavily, but I thought this was a funny anecdote :)

Fascinating!

patricia taxxon shit really fucking hurts. i dont want to be effected by a random internet microcelebrity not liking transdudes, that happens often enough. but god her music and essays got me through really rough shit and it really hurts to see someone i looked up to for well written essays and work fall back on the bullshit arguments used to deny my lived experiences. it really really fucking hurts, especially with how it feels barely anyone will talk about or call it out. i thought trfs were something id have to look hard for, and seeing their rhetoric creep into the fucking music i listen to and tumblrs i follow really truly scares me

I'm sorry, anon. I love you a lot. <3

“You shouldn’t break up the trans community into groups!” The TRFs literally came up with a way to break up the community via TMA/TME. They are actively distancing themselves from the community by baking fearmongering into their ideology. God forbid we create a term about sticking together against a group within the community that’s inherently dividing?

lmao literally

Just had my first time getting sexually harassed by a woman as a percieved cis man and commiserating afterwards with a cis man about how we're all just supposed to be cool with being treated like that. It's a weird experience and somehow going through the same things mostly from women as a girl then nonbinary then a trans guy it feels the same but the flavors change. I know the discourse is literally nothing but it makes me feel like my feelings shouldn't matter because of the male privilege. And I even did my civic duty and took the brunt of it away from the other trans man who was getting it worse because of his percieved feminine traits which people also like to pretend doesn't happen. All of it is just stupid.

It's fine, she was a woman and you're a man so that was praxis sexual harassment.

honestly i think a better predictor of how much autonomy a child is able to have over their presentation is probably whether the child is disabled moreso than agab, like i not only wasn't allowed to have my hair too short, i also wasn't allowed to have it too long for a chunk of my childhood because it took me awhile to understand how to brush my hair (because i was afraid to because i am hypersensitive to touch and my mother would always brush my hair in a way that hurt so much i would cry), and my mother would bitch and moan about how difficult i was about it (because she was hurting me and did not listen when i told her this) and so i wasn't allowed to have longer hair until i could brush it myself. ultimately the biggest factor is always the attitude of the parents though

God, so much of my shit with my mother was over my hair, it still really gets to me.

TRF is like the whole voting for face eating panthers. But it’s like TERFs are the panthers and TRFs are a cheetah, like “I’m a kind of cat too so they won’t eat my face as long as I eat faces too right?” WRONG they see you as prey, they won’t spare you because they see a fellow cat, they’ll eat your face cuz you’re not a panther!

cis women will like me if I explain to them how I'm -taxonomically- a woman

it’s insane to me that ‘it’s bad to hate someone for an uncontrollable part of their identity no matter who they are’ is a controversial take now

we've regressed

when people say ‘um ackshually i can say i want all men to die and if you tell me “men see these things and go far right because they think it’s true” then you are blaming women for men’s bad behaviour’ i just immediately assume that this person is stupid as fuck like. if a teenage boy goes online to see what feminism is about and is bombarded with ‘kill all men’ ‘all men are rapists’ etc then OBVIOUSLY he’s not gonna want to be feminist. it is really not that fucking hard to understand. people don’t wanna be in spaces that are cruel to them for an aspect of their identity that they cannot control it’s not ‘blaming women for misogynistic men’ to say that. it’s just fucking true. people are so stupid it actually pains me

unfortunately radfem juice is addictive