#we've got to risk implosion

[thatgirl4815]

Self-Destruction

Ray has defied expectations so many times in the last two episodes. Though he is certainly bratty and impulsive, he's also not nearly as bratty as I was inclined to believe before the series aired. This got me thinking about defense mechanisms, and the way Ray's persona could be curated to match the person he wants to be, not necessarily the one he sees himself as.

As evidenced by his reaction to waking up at Sand's place in Ep1, Ray's own sense of self is directly intertwined with wealth. I suspect he's lived his entire life in luxury; more importantly, he's lived with constant comments about this luxury from those around him (come to think of it, how many Ray scenes have there been so far where his wealth hasn't been mentioned?). I'd argue Ray's construction of self is tied up in his money too; he even tells Mew in Ep1 that the only thing he knows how to do with money is spend it. He knows how important money is to his image because there's no escaping it.

So when Sand references the financial disparity between them in Ep2, Ray surely expects it. But instead of growing defensive, we see Ray react to nearly every one of Sand's jabs with a laugh, even the ones that seem particularly targeted at his deepest struggles. Such as--

Ray isn't only a "spoiled, rich brat here"--he's "lonely," and that's the bit that we've seen reiterated throughout this episode. I'd wager it goes much farther back than the show itself, given the subtle references to it in Ep1 with his friend group (i.e., how when he's drunk he always begs them not to leave him). This could be a sign of abandonment issues, likely to do with his mother's death and his father's supposed lack of (emotional) involvement in his life (there's no proof of this yet, but I'd put money on it).

I think Ray has two go-to defenses. The first is alcohol. Understandably, this numbs him to any loneliness he might feel. The second is carelessness--more specifically, the impression of carelessness. There's this common notion that if one pretends to feel a certain way, they might actually begin to feel that way. The same could be said here. If Ray acts unbothered, then he can convince himself that he really is unbothered. The persona blurs with reality until they become one and the same.

Obviously there are consequences to each of these defenses. Alcohol can lead to dependency, creating a greater need that develops into alcoholism. Acting is also dangerous because it's a form of suppression--an attempt at persuasion. It's a desperate man's effort to convince himself he's fine. But this only leads all of one's bad feelings to fester deep inside and create an even larger hole.

The arguable third defense against Ray's loneliness is companionship, which he seeks out in Sand. This has its own risks, as Sand seems to understand, but Ray denies. Intimacy in all its forms is particularly dangerous for Ray because it could only breed more loneliness. If he forms a deep attachment to someone, that's only giving them more power over him later. The moment his control starts to slip is the moment his defense turns into a weapon to be used against him. Again, I suspect this has roots in his mother's death, leading to abandonment and attachment issues.

In terms of future eps, once Ray realizes the control that Sand has over him, I suspect he'll deny it and brush it off. At the same time, he'll need more of it (Sand really does say it perfectly in this last scene). Eventually, this back-and-forth will create an implosion.

[hisui555]

Having a bit of time to answer this here : thank you so much for all the subscriptions, likes, reblogs, and above all the sheer positive reviews you're giving, it means a LOT ! I'm also super happy to see that people are willing to goddamn practice French with it ?

Like - this is amazing ?? French is three languages and an identity crisis in a trenchcoat having chloroformed logic a long time ago and still thinking we're living in an era two centuries before, and you folks are willing to tackle it, with my translation to boot ???

All I can say is, it'll be a honor !

Also that "mytranslator" tag had me keeling over laughing. It's like we're found in boxes on the street nowadays.

Adopt a translator : feeds on words, makes itself a nest of stories, and as for settings we've got "diplomatic", "silly", "curses of the ancients", "forgotten turns of phrases" and "semantic explosion". Keep away from typos, can trigger ulcers. Small risk of implosion over stuff they know can be translated better but for some reason the words don't come in easily and will be itching to find a better way over weeks. Brainmelt optional. Comes in various languages.

The Property of Hate French Translation 🇫🇷

A little announcement from my brain gremlin. This translation is open to everyone, even if you're not a native francophone speaker !

Also of course...

Okay, now I can go back to my cave.

[seriesfive]

‘where have you been? what happened?’ ‘my mother. i could never tell her i loved her.’ ‘we've got four minutes, maybe five.’ ‘an earth woman, living on a planet where love, emotion, is bad taste.’ ‘we've got to risk a full-power start. the engines were shut off. no time to regenerate them. do you hear me? we've got to risk a full-power start!’ ‘i respected my father, our customs. i was ashamed of my earth blood- …jim, when i feel friendship for you, i’m ashamed.’ ‘you’ve got to hear me! we need a formula! we’ve got to risk implosion!’ ‘it’s never been done! understand, jim. i’ve spent a whole lifetime learning to hide my feelings.’ ‘we’ve got to risk implosion. it’s our only chance.’ ‘it’s never been done.’ ‘don’t tell me that again, science officer! it’s a theory. it’s possible. we may go up into the biggest ball of fire since the last sun in these parts exploded, but we’ve got to take that one in ten thousand chance!’ …………. ‘i’ve got it, the disease. …love. you’re better off without it, and i’m better off without mine. this vessel. i give, she takes. she won’t permit me my life. i’ve got to live hers.’ ‘jim.’ ‘i have a beautiful yeoman. have you noticed her, mister spock? you’re allowed to notice her. the captain’s not permitted.’ ‘jim… there is an intermix formula.’ ‘now i know why it’s called ‘she.’ ‘it’s never been tested. it’s a theoretical relationship between time and antimatter.’ ‘flesh woman to touch, to hold. …a beach to walk on. a few days, no braid on my shoulder.’