#what a dweebus

[vomitingstars]

Ha Ha Ha! Check it out!

A blue haired ghost uncle and his Puppet Nephew have discovered Anime!!!!!!!11111

[martyrmarked]

𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 on her lips like the first hint of sun after a rain shower to hear varric's offer, peeking weakly but insistently from behind a veil of clouds. a part of her whispers that she already knows how this story ends regardless of what title ferries it to the world. these stories all end poorly for those at the center of them. nothing holy is meant to endure long. whatever within her is marked by the sacred will burn bright and hot until the rest of her is seared away. already it already feels hungry, this ancient and strange magic, eager to devour her if it cannot be sated by the rippling tears between this world and the one beyond it. already it feels like she is more a vessel for it than something she carries within herself.

still, sidri thinks grimly, better a sharp crack of magic to engulf her all at once than the flames took andraste slowly & cruelly.

her eyes flit to varric as she dredges herself from that ever-present anxiety that feels too close to certainty. his eyes are distant and hardened from across the fire and the dance of light in them is somber, stiff. shifting her weight atop a none too comfortable log, sidri presses her teeth into her lower lip before replying. ❝ if i were to bet, i'd bet on kirkwall. ❞ where the others, and most of the south for that matter, is quick to cast a joke at kirkwall's expense, her voice betrays only shy sincerity. ❝ if nothing else, kirkwall knows how to endure. ❞ she nods once, then more firmly again as her gaze finds his. ❝ it has weathered many storms and, yes, this one is of a particular ferocity, but kirkwall has survived much. it's strong and it's people are stronger still. you know that far better than i. ❞

it's hardly a comfort. places and people should have the chance to do more than just endure. survival should never be the great, hidden dream. the chance to thrive, the opportunity to grow - that should be afforded to all.

her mouth twists into a thin line at his laugh and a momentary escape from an answer is crafted by the search for another log amidst the small pile at the fire's base. another symphony of sparks dance into the night sky as one is tossed onto the pyre. her response should come quickly. it's been practiced enough times that the words form on the tip of her tongue effortlessly. however, varric, for all of his eagerness to declare himself both a liar and a frequent one, has always seemed to bear some level of honesty with her. in turn, and likely unknowingly, he has always invited honesty from her.

❝ you'll have to ask cassandra or leliana if you're looking for prayers. i used to once, when i was younger, but i haven't in a long time. i don't now, not anymore. ❞ sidri shrugs and lowers her gaze to the fire, tracing over crackling embers and thick whisps of smoke. ❝ i suppose that's not very herald-like of me, so i'd ask you not tell anyone else. i can't go disappointing everyone who's shown up here looking for a cause to pledge themselves to. ❞

they frighten her, the ones with searching, desperate eyes that widen once they catch sight of her. there are more of them now gathering at haven's gates with each passing day. no one should place their faith in the herald when she cannot even place faith in herself.

❝ no magic wand, but perhaps a magic hand which i'm actually starting to get the hang of. ❞ her fingers lift and flourish once in the air before she rests her elbow on her knee. setting her chin contently into her palm, sidri snorts once as bemusement belies her words. ❝ and how many of those titles did you craft and circulate yourself, varric? i'd say be honest but, to hear you say, that's hardly your greatest strength. ❞

a laugh tumbles out of her before she can help it, easy and care-free in a way long forgotten. better an evening spent in the company wayward souls and misguided investors than flitting through the blindly devout and unflinchingly somber that crowd her of late. better him than all of haven, truthfully.

❝ i'm afraid you'll be disappointed to find it's the former. ❞ sidri glances to him at her side as she flicks her braid over her shoulder absently. ❝ i was hoping either a nice story in front of a roaring fire or the night air would prod me closer to sleep. i don't suppose you have any stories designed to lull people to sleep? i can't imagine those would make for best sellers. ❞

a pause and her mouth opens, then closes. however, her nose scrunches and she sighs in what sounds all too much like a confession before continuing. ❝ i have read all of your books, you know. ❞

She has thoughts, more than others would. While he's half tempted to laugh, she's sharp and compliments his title for a makeshift book, one that may not even see the light of day, one that may not see the light of day because it is perilous, because thousands of people died up on that mountain. They were nearly one of the many, one of the bodies, and he's half concerned about why he made it in the first place, why was all of this something they were deigned to do?

"Well," Varric states over the pop of a fire. "Consider it the name of my next book." It's half a joke, half a gamble like that deigned mission he had been thinking of, yet he lands on the fact that the world is mostly luck.

Life is like a game of luck.

A long, played-out game of luck, but luck all the same.

He was not the believing sort, but the unimaginable led him to believe not in the plight, as that had been clouded by the 95 reasons why there should be such an inquisition; rather, he believed in her.

Her.

She reaches over the fire, his fire, and he waits, waits for a prompt, waits for more, but instead, he is met with the reports he already knows about his city. The way the winter is straddling them, the way that food is running out, the way that Bran is the Viscount in name, but hindered in everything else. What she doesn't know is that the banks turn their nose up at the Kirkwall standard and turn their promises elsewhere; it's a problem he's combating letter by letter, notion by notion.

Kirkwall is not a saint's paradise; rather, it's a home for the damned, and even now, they cannot do that. She mentions what the Nightingale knows, but it might only be half. A seafood boil covers it; a collapse of their banking would be better suited, but it is not stated aloud. Rather, he laughs, he laughs over his doubt, over the famine and his own possible drowning. "Kirkwall is against the wall." Varric states, muffling his own thoughts, quelling them into the deep.

Is there anything I can do to help?

There are half a dozen thoughts, half of them breaking the law, the other half never sanctioned by the Chantry, making them nearly illicit - how could something be so when there was no figure head, no support and yet, the help he almost asks for dies, as it would be something that would put her at risk. He laughs, "Do you pray? You can do that, since I don't." Her mission should stay here; he's written enough tragedies to see the end of this one. "Stay alive?" He offers up over the pop of the fire, her hands nearly pulled away from the heat of it all.

She offers that his fire is the most humble thing about him, and he shrugs, nearly wanting to fix his gloves, but he cannot flourish himself away from this; there is very little spin, and he is left to think, a dangerous notion that leaves him grappling with a half dark and clouded moment, a series of thoughts that half make sense, half are jumbled against his skull, an explosion he sees when he closes his eyes, the world dark and then a blast of red.

He owes it to that city, to the people who didn't get a chance, for the one who wanted change, and yet he's stuck here, stuck where he can barely help, stuck where he wants to be, but he wishes he could do more. "Unless you can wave a magic wand," Varric says sarcastically, it isn't meant to be cruel, no, instead, he's unenthused with the lot they all have, his anger bleeding into his words and his choices. "No, Kirkwall... no, not yet." He amends. It is not him on bended knee, but he realises that there may be a day when they need more than just the book to protect a city; they will need stronger words.

So her shadow is reasonable, Sidri's shadow, and he chuckles at her words.

"Well, I am known for extravagant lies, along with a few other titles." He amends, elbowing her and trying to mollify his own wounds. He's half flattered that she sought him out, one hand digging into the meat of his thigh as he nearly stands and leads her around, as intended, as stated, but instead he balls his fist and laughs. "I am alright." Rather, he listens to her, instead of hearing her, though over the sparks and misgivings of any normal night.

"Welcome to the fire of wayward souls and misguided investors." He admits over that crackle of flame, over that pop of the fire bringing him back to reality. "Well, since you are a guest, were you looking for a story or just my good looks?"

[moreonthismoronlater]

rouxls is dweebus supremeth lol

was trying to talk abt this in the tags of my other post but it got eaten so its just gonna be its own post

i adore the idea of rouxls trying way too hard to impress queen

like just trying to fix stuff that did not bother queen at all nor did she even notice or care abt

like theyll walk somewhere and there will be a very easily avoidable puddle in their path but rouxls is all “no no no mine Queene shall noteth be obstructed in Any wayeth” so this cringefail loser dork dweebus man stops queen n throws his coat on top of the puddle for her to walk across

n shes just like bro what lol you did not need to do any of that

but rouxls is just “nay! anything for mine queen” cuz hed do literally anything for her, requested or not

so shes just okay dweeb lol n walks over his coat path n now rouxls is just soaked for the rest of the day but his stupid goofy ass threw his coat in a puddle for No reason

and when anyone asks why tf his coat is soaked he makes a big deal over his grand and noble sacrifice he made for his queene and how it’s certainly put him closer to being butler supremeth

gonna blow him up now /affectionately

[sepublic]

Odalia was definitely closer to Alador and Darius, but she and Perry were in the same track, the same classroom. So was there a particular bond there?

They’re both oracles with an understanding of performance; Perry is in front of a live audience, most of whom isn’t in-person, he’s not here to gauge their reactions just formally report. Odalia is often in-person, she’s assessing and swaying the crowd constantly, responding to their moods. Perry has just about everyone watching, Odalia has a specific consumer base.

Did she ever see Gus as Perry’s son? Did she stop caring already, so to Odalia it made no difference because Gus isn’t ‘good enough’ for Amity to hang out with. Odalia and Perry are both showmen; Both oracles had illusionists for children. Gus worked with a live audience during Grom and his tenure in the HAS, learning to capture direct attention. Did Perry see a bit of Odalia in that? Odalia must’ve allowed Emira and Edric to be illusionists, given hers and Gus’ inclinations we can see the benefit this coven would have to the company.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this; But I guess there’s potential in a dynamic between Odalia and Perry, and their illusionist kids, because we know those kids are in the same class and Gus’ first episode to himself confirms it. So maybe there’s something about two witches who used to share a track and drifted apart as one became cruel and judgmental in a way the other would never approve, even to his child with how she forbade her daughter to interact.

But then their kids who have a different track that they share with each other? Turns out they’re getting along just fine. Makes me wonder if Gus and the twins had any sort of dynamic in the beginning, if Gus ever asked the twins to help resolve the Amity issue for Willow; But the twins handled it in their usual blunt way, and it just led to Amity resenting and not listening to her siblings even more…

Gus is friends with Mattholomule, who also became Multi-Track alongside the twins in the same room and moment. Gus and Edric are fellow teachers at the University of Wild Magic, under Eda; Eda recognized Gus as a dweebus like Perry, she tutored Edric for a bit, so they have another shared mentor and school there. There’s a lot of potential because in addition to Odalia knowing Eda and their daughters having a thing, what about Odalia’s other kids with a kid from another friend of hers?

[sondheim-girly]

2/15 Soc Saturday quotes

“I’ll go get your food!” -SarahGrace “Thats so nice I could cry” -Melody 

“Logan is my favorite, I love a bad boy” -SarahGrace “You know who doesn’t love a bad boy? Your niece” -Melody “My knees???” -SarahGrace

“Do you wanna talk about your foot problems??” -Melody

“I think the moment we enter we take our shirts off” -Tilly

“You guys, boycott the show!” (to make Milena stay) -Jordan

“Dont mind me hunting for worms” -Milena

“How did you say hi to your boo? What did you proclaim?” -Tilly

“Someone said they like a boy and a girl at the same time- equality!!!” -Jordan

“I look like a little dweebus today” -Cole

“Dont get a tattoo cuz your body’s a temple” -Dan 

“Is Cole a bad guy? Im glad u brought this up. Not only is he a bad guy, he’s a bad person” -Dan

“Guys I’m really hot” -SarahGrace “You are” -Melody 

“This is a mini guitar :(” -Kevin “I like it though- its just your size” -Melody

[rain-is-a-fat-puppy]

Alright.....

So I had some dweebus just pop in to be transphobic in my asks lmaoo. I just state this here rn so it's fairly well known I am a woman no ands buts or ifs, if that upsets your sorry pathetic little ass I implore you use the block button and move on with your life simple easy, all you've done is minorly inconvenienced me that I can't block you myself cause you hide behind anon. I did not ask to be this way, but I am and I ain't gonna change or go down quietly about it. It's also so weird how he went about it too, like god it was like grossly fetishistic about it, "Wahh wahh you're male why does your bio say not to misgender you was that a joke? Cause you're a male who looks so feminine" like bro *WHAT*? I can't I read that this morning and laughed my fuckin ass off, like I know I'm hot and you're jealous but like... c'mon. People are weird, especially if you thought that was gonna like upset me? That's the part I'm most confused about like sure it annoyed me, it's like a little fly buzzing in your ear annoying but not harmful (at least to me). Anyways Love Y'all - Rain

[daily-momokarun]

DAY SIXTEEN ✩‧₊˚

PART ONE OF A MOMOKARUN FIC I WROTE AT WORK!!

Written under the prompt: Horror Movie

(written by mod k~ ISNT IT GOOD!!! mwah mwah -mod h)

He should’ve known better.

One look at that damn near evil smirk of hers, and he should’ve known better. Should’ve said his nightly goodbyes and been biking home by now—but noooo. He just had to indulge his curiosity.

What a dummy! Stupid stupid stupid!!

Sitting in the living room, tense as a board, Okarun’s eyes flitted over to Momo, who seemed to be enjoying herself far too much for his liking. And that was just the way, wasn’t it?? She knew exactly how to get under his skin, and it worked each and every time.

“Oh, yea? Well I dare you…”

The words echoed from her lips to the innermost circle of his brain. Perhaps it was bias… After all, Miss Ayase was asking for him to stay longer to spend time with her. Who was he to say no to her? How could he say no to her? To her??

Another part of him knew it was that damn challenge she proposed, provoking some sort of competitive side deep within him. He wasn’t one to turn down a dare—especially not from her, and especially not one as simple as this.

And yet… here he sat, regretting he’d ever even opened his mouth.

“You alright, Okarun~? Not too scared, are you?” A teasing voice inquired from the side, snapping him out of his thoughts with a scoff. Quick to rush to his own defense, he straightened his posture and furrowed his brows.

“No. I’m not. Thank you very much.” His hand flew up to the rim of his glasses, pushing them up against the bridge of his nose. “What kind of wimp do you take me for!”

She poked a finger into her own cheek, that devilish tone still lacing each and every word, as if she was teasing him. “Relaxxxx~ If it’s no big deal, there’s no need to get so worked up about it, wight?”

“Hmph. You’ll see. A-And when we finish the movie, and I’m NOT the one cowering in fear… you’re gonna regret ever daring me!!” Okarun turned to face her, ever full of confidence despite his lack of true sincerity to back it up.

She didn’t seem to buy it, or at the very least was motivated by his false determination. “Oh yea?? Better be prepared to eat your own words, dweebus. And I’ll be prepared to eat an entire delicious dish full of crab onigiri—courtesy of you.”

“Oh, we’ll see about that—��

“You better both hope this is worth it. Making me forgo my Bakatono viewings…” A voice behind them tsked, a puff of smoke breaking the tension in the room beside them. The two of them turned to see a slightly annoyed Seiko standing in the hallway.

“Oh shut it, ya old bag!!! You can go one night without your precious Bakatono! This is important!! We’re seeing who can go the longest without getting scared while watching a horror movie!!”

Seiko rolled her eyes, scoffing. “You call that important?? I’ve had mosquito bites more important than that.”

“Oh reaaaallly?” As per usual, baseless banter turned into a generational squabble—leaving the tension even thicker than it had been earlier. Each passing second that went by, Okarun found himself growing more and more anxious… his own tension building up inside of him before finally—

“ALRIGHT, can we just get this started, pleaaaase?” His voice broke through the loudness of the room with a high-pitched wobble, enough to cause both of the Ayase’s to stop their bickering completely—turning their attention now over to him.

There was a beat or two of silence before Seiko put a hand on her hips. “Oh, he’s totally scared, Momo. You’ve got this in the bag.”

“Told ya.”

“I AM nOt..!”

It didn’t take long after that for everyone to settle into their places for the night. Seiko had agreed, though reluctantly, to give up the living room for the night… though he was pretty sure she only agreed because she’d become invested in their little challenge, and he was also pretty sure he was being rooted against.

BUT NO MATTER!!

The time was now.

It wouldn’t be that hard, right? Right.

Turning his attention over to Momo, he took a deep breath as she drew nearer—a shit-eating grin on her face. She was holding something behind her back. He lifted an eyebrow.

“You ready to see what we’ll be watching tonight?” He nodded affirmatively, though mentally preparing for the worst.

However, the worst never came….

Glancing down at the movie box that was thrust into his hand, a look of confusion spread across his face. The cover didn’t look… too much like a horror movie. Instead, it featured the backdrop of the city—Tokyo—a stoic, sort of brooding man at center focus.

“Black… rain?—“

The movie was quickly ripped from his hands before he could continue reading—causing a surprised huff to escape his lips. “Hey- what gives—“

“NOT THAT ONE—“ Momo was blushing, her face a deep shade of red comparable to that of the cherries that grew in the summertime. “THAT’S NOT THE RIGHT ONE.” Quickly she fumbled, turning around to rampantly search through the bin of movies she’d pulled out from storage.

All he could do was stare in shock and confusion, the light from above causing a glare to shine across the lenses of his glasses.

It wasn’t long before another movie was tossed into his hands—this one definitively more horror-esque than the last. “THIS one… this… is the one I MEANT to show you.”

“No one will… save you…?”

He blinked down at the cover, immediately regretting his decision all over again as a twinge curled up his stomach.

[pomgore]

master kohga and blademaster sooga headcanons

hey guys welcome back to my youtube channel

after a few weeks of replaying ToTK i got yiga brainworms again and thought i'd elaborate some of my thoughts on the timeline of kohga and the yiga clan, as well as a sort-of AU where sooga is a part of the canon timeline and joins the yiga clan about a decade before the events of BoTW, as opposed to being present and established in the clan during AoC. worth mentioning that this is a) wildly self indulgent and b) just my little ideas, not something i think Should be true but rather i think would be interesting and fun and sexy if it were true, and c) its long. its so long guys i have too many ideas.

disclaimer: not all of the relationship dynamics described below are entirely safe or sane, although all of them are consensual. if this were a fanfic it would probably warrant the tag "under-negotiated kink." reader beware! in particular some of these headcanons address the sorta-controvery surrounding how kohga and sooga first met (and whether it makes their relationship Unconscionable), so, you know. read at your own discretion, and if you don't like it then call it quits !

headcanons and doodles under the cut

kohga

ohhh kohga. oh this guy.

born a sheikah some 40-50 years before the calamity to an esteemed family with expertise in the Esoteric Arts of the sheikah clan (namely magic). kohga was also trained in these arts and upon maturity (traditionally age 20 per my miscellaneous hyrule kingdom hcs) joined the direct service of the royal family, in essence a spy and enforcer where may.

was also educated in hyrule's history (per sheikah tradition) and excelled in historical political theory/analysis. when he wasn't working in the royal family's service he was often nose deep in some thousand-year-old manuscript on zora/hylian trade economy. huge dweebus

as a result of his interest in scholarly pursuits kohga was put on a historian track alongside his service to the kingdom. he became privileged with a lot of restricted or forgotten records on hyrule's history and was eventually admitted entry to the shadow temple for study of its ancient carvings and scripts. the shadow temple served the same purpose as it did in OoT (although at the time of kohga's admittance was falling out of use), and it has a similar taboo of discussion so kohga is understandably shocked to learn that the sheikah were/are torturing enemies of the crown for information/disobedience.

the first seed of rebellion is planted upon kohga's discovery of the purpose of the shadow temple, but kohga felt he didn't understand the purposes of the kingdom well enough to put up a fuss about the morality of their methods (and, being in service to the kingdom had already done his fair share of morally dubious things on behalf of the royal family) so he continued his studies of the shadow temple's edifices and tried not to think too hard about what he was seeing or hearing while present. who knows, maybe violence is a necessary evil for hylia's blessed lineage !

i think that the thyphlo ruins in botw/totk are the remains of the shadow temple. like hey it makes sense. maybe built on top of an even older ruin dedicated to hyrule's history initially as a monument to the richness of the kingdom (and zonai stuff if we're including totk canon, which atp i'm disinclined to do LOL) which later devolved into the place where the kingdom's Richness was Effectuated. also cmon in botw its literally a shadowy ruin of a temple like it makes sense guys

while pursuing his studies and translating ancient hyrulean kohga kept uncovering epitaphs to conquered rulers and kingdoms and eventually pieces together the kingdom of hyrule's history of subjugating hyrule the continent's societies. the offenses against the gerudo were especially egregious but there was a story for each race of a "too-uppity" leader trying to cecede/reclaim/counter-conquer regions of the expanding hyrule kingdom and getting absolutely thrashed by hyrule's armies and the secretive, vicious race of the sheikah. second seed of rebellion is planted.

at some point kohga's fellow scholars noticed how much time he was spending at the shadow temple and collectively agreed to keep an eye on him. kohga was far from the first sheikah to pay undue attention to the blights on hyrule's noble history

a recurring character in hyrule's more mythological history, the demon king/demise/ganon, caught kohga's attention as a) a uniquely vicious opponent to the various heroes of hyrule's history and b) often manifesting in the form of a revolutionary or dissident, usually amassing popular support before engaging counteroffensives to the kingdom of hyrule. there was some troubling rhetoric about becoming the lord of all hyrule and destroying the world associated with this figure, who is sometimes depicted as a god and sometimes a man, but kohga, familiar with the historical practice of exaggerating "the enemy" figure's cruelty, took this to be embellishment by hylian historians.

around the height of kohga's research on the shadow temple, where he was filling in blanks in the readily-accessible sheikah historical records with what he uncovered at the temple, the sheikah's relationship with the royal family (already strained due to the "ugly" history of the sheikah and the lessened applications of the sheikah's talents during times of peace) was soured nearly to the point of irrevocable damage. haven't worked out all the details on this idea yet but essentially some sus sheikah operation under orders from the royal family is uncovered and spreads to other societies, who become suspicious that the hylian kingdom is about to go through another expansion period/start exerting more direct influence over the peoples of other regions. almost every sheikah in service to the kingdom (with the notable exception of high-status families like impa&purah&robbie's lineage) were dismissed and the sheikah were forced into an even sterner isolation from the rest of hyrule. they began suffering with resource scarcity as a result, along with general marginalization from the other peoples of hyrule. SO MANY seeds of rebellion in kohga's heart! ultimately kohga was still not driven to action because he suffered less in his own family's privilege (problematic!kohga)

while the sheikah were still out of favor with the rest of hyrule kohga continued his research, now moving towards a specialization in the stories of the demon king/demise/ganon throughout history. eventually he was approached by fellow sheikah, who expressed that his fascination with the demon king in this time of uncertainty towards the sheikah might be Misconstrued. in turn kohga pointed them towards the ways in which the sheikah were used by the kingdom of hyrule for their own (usually reprehensible) ends and how time and time again the sheikah were the ones who were mistrusted and reviled for things that the kingdom ordered them to do. kohga gained some of his first followers this way before he even really organized a counter-movement, but so too did he gain his first opponents after expressing his first radical opinions to less radical minds.

not long after this kohga was summoned by the presiding elder of the sheikah for a private discussion on the dangers of the restricted knowledge kohga was privileged to. the intent in revealing that information to kohga and permitting his studies in the shadow temple was to produce more reasons for the sheikah to work loyally beneath the royal family in service of the will of the goddess, with revelations related to the consequences of Not Doing That equally abundant in the histories of the shadow temple's records. the elder said that this time of misdoubt will pass and the sheikah will be called upon again in recognition of their worth. kohga said many things to the effect of but what about now and why should we let the world believe we are the wicked ones when we're not and the royal family wasn't always the authority over all hyrule and maybe they shouldn't be now, all of which earned him the reproach of the elder and those most loyal to the elder, the royal family and the goddess hylia, given the understanding that hylia directly blessed the royal family with the right to govern hyrule with benevolence. kohga officially declared that particular understanding bullshit given the royal family's demonstrated lack of benevolence and as a result loses faith in the stories he's been told about the goddess.

worth mentioning up until this point i think kohga did believe in the goddess and prayed to her/practiced rituals associated with her common to most sheikah. he wasn't particularly devout, given the religion was inherited rather than "found", but during the in-between of the sheikah being ousted from the monarchal government and the culmination of kohga's radicalization, he probably clung to the idea of the goddess as best he could, hoping that if she was truly merciful and favored the sheikah, she would do something to clear their name and bring them prosperity again. desperate, embittered prayer in the middle of the night to an unmoved carven effigy.

as a result of kohga's increasing desperation towards the idea of hylia, his investigation on demise brings him to extend his scope to stories of the goddesses and their interactions with this demon king. since this was more mythology than history it fell outside of kohga's expertise but he did his diligence in finding patterns in the narratives of hylia and the goddess's wars with the incarnations of demise. the stories predictably favored hylia and reviled demise, but when demise incarnated as ganondorf and suddenly hylians took hylia's role and non-hylians, most of all the gerudo, were synecdochic to demise, kohga realized that stories of hylia served foremost to justify the hylian kingdom's conquest of hyrule, and the means by which they did so. he came to associate hylia with the deceit of the kingdom and demise with those scapegoated for the kingdom's crimes. he also discussed these analyses and the unfairness of the sheikah's present situation with other sheikah. you can see where this is going.

in light of kohga's dissenting faction beginning to spread throughout the already-diminished sheikah kohga was brought in public fashion before the elder for another "discussion" (this time more of an outright argument) where the elder tried to convince a increasingly disillusioned kohga of the nobility of enduring disrespect for the rewards of a (distant) future and the grace of the goddess, and kohga argued back that things need to change now and the sheikah deserve more respect than to be the kingdom's ugly mark on its beautiful and contrived face. this went on in a loud and dramatic fashion, and when kohga left the town following the fight people were pretty sure he wouldn't come back.

kohga went to the shadow temple but was intercepted by hylian soldiers, who kohga p much cussed out as he went on his way. the soldiers followed him and nearly got to the shadow temple before sheikah (not inclined to kohga's point of view but neither inclined to let non-sheikah discover the temple) intercepted them and turned them away with stern warnings. the soldiers went back to the castle and spread word of a secret temple only sheikah were permitted to enter. this story becomes quickly warped.

kohga returned to the sheikah town after some few days spent in the shadow temple (all the while dreaming strange dreams) to find the sheikah in the midst of a religious schism related to the ideas kohga propounded days earlier. kohga, now motivated to action by the injustice of the situation kohga leapt into the fray on the side of his own faction, demanding that the sheikah stand up for themselves and assert who they truly are to the rest of the world rather than hiding behind notions of kingdoms and goddesses and divine wills. despite the participation of many sheikah in this argument on both sides, sometimes with scuffles even breaking out between members of opposed factions, the elder named kohga alone as an exile and demanded he leave and take his fractious ideas with him. kohga demanded in turn to stay put, and was forcibly escorted from the town by sheikah fighters, some of whom he once worked alongside in service to the crown. kohga condemned all of them as frauds and cowards and went alone into the wide world.

for a while kohga tried proselytizing to travelers he met on the road but the opinion of the sheikah was as low as it had ever been and, being a sheikah of some nobility, kohga's forehead was tattooed with the eye of the sheikah and he couldn't escape his associations with the clan no matter where he went. eventually other sheikah who followed him into exile caught up with him and they worked together to sustain themselves and survive, in the meantime discussing the nature of the injustices they'd faced. they organized as a small group with kohga as the de facto leader. this is sort of the proto-establishment of the yiga clan.

not long after kohga and the defected sheikah left, the first remnants of ancient sheikah technology associated with the calamity of 10,000 years ago were uncovered.

kohga decided to take his little club to the shadow temple and show them some of what he'd learned of the kingdom's past. as they came upon the temple they saw a red glow above the trees and witnessed the active destruction of the shadow temple by not only royal soldiers but members of the sheikah clan. the rest of the defected sheikah, seeing their own clansmen there, didn't proceed into the temple, but beyond all of kohga's vitriol towards his former clan and the kingdom he felt a deep connection to the history documented in the shadow temple, and seeing it razed to the ground he went and tried to enter the burning ruin. he was initially hindered by the soldiers and the sheikah, but he threw all of them off and went into the actively crumbling ruin.

descending to the lowest chamber where murals and bas-reliefs of demise were made, kohga in his abject hatred and desperation dropped to his knees and prayed to the demon king for a way to preserve all he knew of the crimes of hylia's lineage, and a way to lay those crimes at their feet. in the deep and dark, kohga's prayers were answered. to preserve his knowledge, his hylian soul was unmade and replaced with the soul of a monster, as to make him functionally immortal and bind him irrevocably to the demon king. i think this process works something like trading essences with the horned statue. the demon king didn't need to give kohga a way to have his revenge, because all of his anger and betrayal and power and charisma were already present and already manifesting the means by which his revenge would be had. when kohga left the smoldering ruin of the shadow temple behind, he looked no different than when he entered (although as time passed this would change) but his sense of purpose was magnified immensely.

now at last we come to the events of the calamity and botw! kohga established a broader following in the handful of years between his prayer and the calamity (it's around this time that link and zelda became prominent names and thusly rose to the top of kohga's shitlist--a goddess incarnate and her stupidly talented protector were of course enemies two and one) and once the calamity occurred he amassed a great deal of followers desperate for explanations and purpose that the yiga clan could offer. kohga definitely came into his own as a leader at this time, and his promises of a changed world under the guidance of demise as well as people to blame for their suffering were attractive to the terrified and desolated masses.

from there it kind of proceeds as one would expect of the outlined history. kohga does well leading but his followers' boundless loyalty and enthusiasm give him the leeway to get lazy, he gets his hand into as many peoples' business as he possibly can and becomes incredibly meddlesome, incredibly influential and as a result incredibly dangerous, and as he amasses all of this power begins losing sight of the original offenses that raised his alarms with WRT hyrule's kingdom and the sheikah. he endorses violence easily, first against "oppressors" and then against whoever would stand against the yiga, and by the time link rises from the dead kohga is a firmly established player in post-calamity hyrule.

the mythology of kohga himself among yiga and the rest of hyrule's people alike can vary. some people think kohga is an inherited title carried by many people for the hundreds of years the yiga have been around, some people think kohga is an incarnation of demise, some people think he sold his soul for power, some pople think he doesn't exist. kohga doesn't bother clarifying one way or the other.

as far as the functions of kohga's "immortality" go, being a monster by technicality, if he dies (always by unnatural causes, he doesn't age after his prayer to demise) he returns to life with the blood moon. between his death and resurrection he floats around as a little poe. because i think thats cute :3 after calamity ganon is sealed away by zelda, kohga still has his monster's soul but cannot return to life if he dies, so he is Extra Careful (dying is still painful and unpleasant and cosmically inconceivable for kohga no matter how many times he does it--really only a couple times--so he tries to avoid it even while capable of "respawning") from then on.

having watched a great deal of people live and die, initially caring about many of them but learning to distance himself as they went on dying, kohga as a rule doesn't make close interpersonal connections. he's pretty good at pretending he cares about someone but otherwise tries to keep his heart close and protected. this of course goes out the window when he becomes close to sooga.

sooga

since kohga's life was lived on a much grander scale and he had a hand in many significant events related to sheikah history, i think it would be apt for sooga's life to cover a smaller scale, involving regular people with insignificant lives.

born about seventy years after the calamity to a half-gerudo mother and a hylian father (i'm thinking he was from hateno? sooga's grandfather might have been a soldier stationed at the fort there) who live semi-nomadically and in general poverty. sooga wasn't born in gerudo town or to a mother who put significance on her heritage so it wasn't necessarily odd that sooga was born a male child, but his mother's lingering gerudo superstitions did make her relationship with sooga a little uneasy even when he was a baby.

since the calamity a couple of things have changed in hyrule, most notably a) the sheikah reconciled with the royal family before the calamity due to their knowledge of the ancient sheikah technology and artifacts and b) post calamity, the yiga are far from the only criminal organization to have formed of the vestiges of hyrule's civilization, and groups of opportunist bandits and thugs who threaten vulnerable folks for money are common to find. with the shaky restoration of hyrule's armies in the later decades after the calamity some of these bandits are routed, but they're still far from Under Control.

that being said sooga's mother and father, being poor and desperate, get involved with some of these petty criminal organizations and end up owing more money than they can pay back. one day while sooga is about five the loan sharks take his father away and sooga nor his mother ever see him again.

sooga's mother is still under threat of the sharks having taken out her own loans she's failed to repay, so while struggling as a merchant she begins taking sooga south to the gerudo, hoping to find refuge in her hometown with her kid. traveling from necluda to the gerudo region is a pretty tall order for a lone mother and a young child, and they are being pursued by criminals, so this journey is incredibly difficult on sooga's mother and sooga as a result. as sooga grows up his childhood is characterized by perpetual fear and hardship. his poorly health as a consequence of hard living creates another financial burden on his mother.

sooga and his mother make it to the gerudo desert when sooga is fourteen years old, managing to lose the pursuant criminals once the climate of the desert heads them off. this period of the trip is the most desperate for sooga and his mother, who barely survive off of raw plants and fruits they can find in the desert without being able to cook the necessary foods or elixirs to make it through the desert easily. passing through kara kara bazaar and strangers taking pity on them and offering food and water is probably the only way they survive through the very last leg of the journey.

they arrive at gerudo town on sooga's fifteenth birthday. though the calamity didn't have a profound effect on the gerudo save an increase in monster activity and trade suffering, the superstitions of gerudo culture stipulate that even though sooga hasn't matured, he is not welcome in gerudo town. sooga's mother is faced with either leaving the desert with her son (if they even survive the return journey, they have nowhere to go and loan sharks will be waiting) or going into gerudo town alone.

sooga and his mother live just outside of gerudo town for three days, and on the morning of the fourth day sooga wakes up alone. for a while sooga begs and barters outside of gerudo town, trying anything he can think of to get the guards to let him in, and although they pity him and bring him as much food and drink as they possibly can to sustain him, they can't let him in. when sooga understands he's been well and truly left behind, he wanders off into the desert, expecting to die there. (sidebar: no hate on sooga's mom. i think it's stupid how women are expected to sacrifice their lives for their children in mother-child narratives. but sooga's the main character here so it seems like she's the bad guy)

sooga wanders for about a month, mostly sustained by food the gerudo gave him which (if sooga were of a sound mind and able to ration it, it would have gotten him well past the desert). sort of stumbling around half blind he doesn't exactly have a destination, save finding somewhere suitable to die (his angst is half his upbringing and half being fifteen years old). it's in the midst of his roaming, on the verge of collapse, that sooga is found by two yiga footsoldiers and taken to the karusa valley hideout.

sooga is taken before kohga, who is none too thrilled with having a half-dead teenager thrown at his feet and after finger-wagging at the yiga footsoldiers for a little while, facilitates sooga's recovery and when sooga is lucid again, kohga explains that he, master of the yiga clan, saved sooga's life and so now sooga can either go back out into the desert and live his life as he sees fit, under the pretense that he never raises a hand against the yiga clan for the rest of his life, OR he can join the yiga clan! sooga, who is by now familiar with the consequences of unpaid debts and considers himself insurmountably indebted to kohga, says that he will join the yiga clan.

yes kohga met sooga when sooga was a teenager. everyone take a moment to clutch your pearls and let's move on.

sooga is sort of collectively raised by kohga and the yiga clan, since he doesn't really Belong to anybody and so his specialty isn't inherited (holdover sheikah traditions) he gets training in every field of yiga expertise and, once fully recovered from the health complications of his uprbinging, proves to be incredibly talented and doubly enthusiastic. life and purpose and community have been bestowed upon him by the benevolence of master kohga! he works very hard to be worthy of these gifts. in the meantime, living among a large settled community for the first time, sooga also learns How To interact With Other People. this may be the only thing he does not excel at.

upon witnessing sooga's immense talent kohga decides to train sooga in some of the more esoteric sheikah techniques that few yiga have the disciple to take on. sooga is essentially fast-tracked through the yiga ranks once it's clear that he's kohga's star pupil, and when kohga is seventeen he a) becomes the youngest blademaster ever honored as such among the yiga and b) realizes he has a massive, profound, potentially life-ruining infatuation with master kohga. i think that having his life saved and given meaning by a charismatic, powerful older man during his formative adolescent years would probably definitely permanently alter sooga's brain. i know it would mine !

later the same year sooga is dispatched on a rite-of-passage blademaster assignment where the newly-minted blademaster is sent to a region far away from the yiga headquarters to attend to whatever duties necessitate the blademaster's intercession there--in practice this is mostly monitoring comers and goers, keeping in contact with the blademaster network while learning to wrangle their assigned footsoldier detachment, but sometimes can entail intimidation, enforcement, and hit-work based on whether a person of interest to the yiga is in the area to which the blademaster is assigned. sooga is sent with two more experienced blademasters all the way to akkala, and refines his yiga talents there for the better part of three years (nothing particluarly exciting happens during this dispatch, the trio mostly camps out by robbie's lab and spies on him and steals his paper deliveries).

sooga returns to karusa valley with his skills honed to near-perfection and having matured to adulthood in his 20th year, and when he comes back he is so very competend and beautiful that kohga a) takes notice and b) has a crisis. more on that later. sooga of course doesn't take notice because kohga goes to pains to hide it and he's all wrapped up in his own pining angst.

sooga spends five years as a blade master, and at age 25 is promoted to master kohga's right hand, the second highest station a member of the yiga clan can occupy and a role that has not been occupied for some twenty-odd years following the death of the previous right hand. during the events of botw, sooga is 28 years old (but has old man energy. bro has lived a LIFE and he's not even 30 yet.)

kohga and sooga

i like drawing kohga laying on lavish pillows can u tell

kohga's crisis is twofold: first, based on undisputed cultural mores suviving from pre-calamity times, kohga is afraid he is a freak creep nasty cradle robbing pervert for becoming attracted to (and later falling in love with) his once-pupil sooga. understandably so! second, because kohga is no longer human (in the sense that all the races of hyrule are "human" by virtue of souls, sentience, favored by the narrative in opposition to monsters, etc) he'll have to reckon with sooga's death one day and even before then might somehow insinuate himself close enough to sooga that sooga takes notice of his inhumanity, which kohga has never allowed to happen with anyone else and does not intend to start with sooga.

sooga's crisis is threefold: first, in mirror to kohga's first crisis, sooga's attraction to kohga is based not in small part on the way they met and the interactions they had when sooga was still considered a youth. like kohga saved sooga's life and made him into a nonpareil whose life had purpose and whose presence was wanted, and who wouldn't fall in love with the man responsible? but because kohga saved sooga's life and cared for him and tutored him while sooga was still a youth, sooga's attraction is complicated by its impropriety. does not help that sooga as a high-ranking blademaster and later a right hand is in almost constant proximity with kohga AND that literally almost every yiga knows how they met, so sooga couldn't come up with a more seemly lie even if he wanted to. second, related to the former, sooga has unwaveringly priced kohga as a good and honorable man (to other yiga anyway) who is also familiar with the circumstances of their meeting, and as a result probably wouldn't have sooga even if sooga did approach him with his feelings. third, sooga is absolutely dependent on the yiga clan to give him purpose, and if he somehow screwed up his working relationship with master kohga enough that he wanted to leave, he would have nowhere to go and no-one to be. sooga would probably kill himself before jeopardizing his place within the yiga clan, and his weird unseemly feelings about his master are, to him, too much of a risk to voice.

while sooga is pretty much a pro at bottling up his feelings and shoving the cork all the way down the neck of the bottle, kohga deals with his feelings less gracefully, often unable to stop himself from favoring sooga or getting close to him/comfortable with him and generally making it kind of embarrassingly obvious he has a thing for sooga. this interspliced with kohga's own angst about his feelings creates a sort of weird tension in kohga and sooga's working relationship, where kohga is very friendly and sometimes outright affectionate, but always seems to be holding himself back a great deal and cannot be made to say even one sincere or sentimental thing in sooga's presence, which sooga notices but can't diagnose. sooga is a bit obtuse woops.

while i'm undecided on a lot of events regarding the catalyst of their relationship/who confesses first/etc etc etc, i think that the loss of sooga's eye (probably a month or two after sooga is promoted to right hand) in a fight with the gerudo while defending kohga is what finally gets kohga to be sincere in sooga's presence. sooga up to this point has had a lot of scares (and given kohga a lot of scares) with near-death encounters but this one is officially Too Much for kohga and he almost breaks down while sooga's in recovery. when sooga is lucid again he gets the scolding of his life from kohga, which is pretty much kohga very angrily listing all the ways that sooga is important to him and coming up with creative threats for if sooga tries to throw himself on the sword for kohga againor if demise forbide he Dies. sooga still doesn't Figure It Out but he takes kohga's threats to heart and starts honing the talent of shoving a lackey in front of a sword instead of taking the hit himself (still not very good at this).

after this kohga is a bit more emotionally open to sooga, but this only makes all that he's holding back more obvious to sooga. sooga Still Doesnt Figure It Out

i do think sooga is the one who confesses. again under what circumstances, i don't know, but no way in hell is kohga confessing first.

once they are together, kohga's worries about their relationship early on are a very tricky obstacle for he and sooga to navigate, made more difficult by sooga's steadfast beliefs as to what their relationship Should Be. the reservations kohga had about their previous relationship as master and pupil are compounded with their current statuses, where sooga is still subordinate to him. he wants very badly to be equals with sooga, but sooga is flat out obsessed with being in service to master kohga, like he won't let go of the life debt thing and he just plain doesn't want to be kohga's equal, since thus far his life has been defined by serving kohga's will. sooga doesn't want to be considered equal to kohga because he thinks he just Isn't. it's a violation of chain of command, its an egregious assertion of pride, its bla bla bla.

the compromise here is probably sooga-sided, but i think they get around the question of equality by instead making sure that one's power over the other's is balanced, as opposed to removing power dynamics from the equation altogether. even before they engage a romantic relationship sooga exerts plenty of influence on kohga, convincing him of smarter paths/better allies/whether mercy should be offered to an enemy (usually not), he holds sway over kohga's decision making and also plenty of power within the yiga hierarchy in his own right. so eventually sooga agrees that, if kohga must have power over him then he must also have power over kohga, which in practice manifests as sooga overruling kohga's more wild flights of fancy and asserting himself when he is certain kohga is about to make a Bad Call. in turn kohga is still sooga's master, bosses him around when they're in public and leaves him a lot of the more boring administrative work, but when they're alone together there isn't an interplay of status to necessarily consider, and any power dynamics they mess around with in sexual contexts are for fun.

worth noting that for sooga, kohga being his "master" is at least partially related to a sexual sort of fascination sooga has with being specifically kohga's subordinate--again, i do think sooga's attraction to kohga was directly informed by how they met. if this were 21st century planet earth it would be wise for sooga to actually discuss this with kohga to ensure that both of them were on the same page, but since they're in [mumbles time period] hyrule it's more implicit. kohga later discovers the sexual appeal in their power dynamic with sooga's (comparatively) enthusiastic guidance.

relatedly: if this were 21st century planet earth sooga would have an absolutely mind boggling daddy kink.

kohga's desperate terror of losing sooga and sooga's own terror of failing to adequately repay his debt to kohga kind of tie them together around this looming notion of death. no matter how many times sooga saves kohga's life he feels like it isn't enough of a repayment, and every time sooga saves kohga's life kohga just becomes more and more afraid of sooga's inevitable demise. in some corner of their relationship is always the terrible reality of death, as well as kohga's secret of immortality.

i think kohga's history and true nature are the very last things sooga learns about him. kohga is so incredibly protective of his past that i really only think it would come out under a situation of extreme duress, like an encounter with someone from kohga's past or a near-death experience on kohga's end instead of sooga's. kohga feels guilty for letting sooga imperil himself on kohga's behalf when kohga can't die forever, not really, but he doesn't know how to explain it and although he's proud of his covenant with demise he's ashamed that he can't rightly call himself anything but a monster, who for all the yiga' work in ingratiating themself with ganon are still enemies of all sapient peoples of hyrule, and spoken of by sheikah and yiga alike as base and wicked beasts. this all kind of circles back to kohga's "human" history of being reviled and cast out by his clan.

they are each other's own most exploitable vulnerability. sort of like pair bonded chinchillas. one of them dies and the other one follows right after from chinchilla grief.

THANK YEW 4 LISTENING :]

in case you didn't see it here's a post of kohga and sooga's faces in color with my most recent designs I FORGOT KOHGA'S OTHER TATTOOS THOUGH so dont look too closely

[banana-can-do-art]

I find the drastic rise in the stakes in book 6 to be really funny. Like sure there were issues to deal with before that but it was like, nerd gets angry at a tea party, furry jock sends his henchman out to trip people so he can win a tournament, fish mafia man runs an mlm scam, underling tests out a little mind control, drama queen is upset that he can’t win the talent show, and then book 6 hits and it’s like dweebus attempts to raise the fiery pits of hell and also restart the entire world… like up what?! And then book 7 happens and it’s like lonely fairy man lowkey sleep poisons everyone and traps them there forever. Like hello?! When did the drama ramp up this much?! Omg!

[ros-sauce]

It's cool that the things the prsk characters say on menu screens change with the seasons, but I also get so sad when they cycle over to the next set of convos... What do you mean I'll never get jumpscared by Mizuki going "KYAAAA~!" like the little DWEEBUS 9000 she is again

[mla0]

being gay makes it impossible for me to judge villains correctly. habit could kill dweebus shringle the nobody and i say what an evil horrible bastard but lexx kills off my second favorite character in whisperedfaith and i'm like ok slay

[talking-objects]

what does homicidalporkchops mean im actually so fucking confused???

am i a dumbass or something is it like, so stupidly obvious that whoever sees this going to go "heheahahar, this dweebus doesnt know what that means hehehaharr!"

[songmingisthighs]

Genesis

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

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ch. xiii - lamazda

fashion mogul!mingi × reader

buy me coffee ?

things aren't always what it seems but when even the truth is left unheard, what can people do? one musn't lie but what if the lie is more accepted than the truth? the scariest thing in this world isn't monsters or demons. it's people with no agenda and time to waste.

It was truly a great day for Mingi.

The weather was perfect, he got enough rest, and best of all, he was cleared to return to work.

Mingi was giddy to be back in the office, it was obvious from the spring in his steps and the happy expression on his face. He didn't even care that people were watching him, he was just glad to be welcomed by the familiar smell of the lobby and the hustle and bustle of people all around. But even then, he was so wrapped up in his own personal feelings that he didn't pay much attention to his surroundings.

As per usual, he would tap his employee lanyard onto the automatic gate and waited for the monitor to tell him which elevator to get on. He looked down at his hands to look at the champagne bottle he brought. He was feeling so good that he couldn't stop smiling and patting himself on the back mentally about the good decision he made.

Unlike a lot of people he knows, Mingi absolutely loves his job because he's passionate about it and he's so good at it. Since he was a child, he knew that he wanted to do something whimsical as a career and despite the bullying and teasing he got when he told people what he wanted to be, he went for it and actually made a name for himself. So it was actually very understandable why Mingi got so upset when he was told that he shouldn't come to work for his own safety. It was pure torture for him to be in such a position. No matter how much he was assured that he was going to be kept in the loop by his superior, Mingi would still rather do things on his own, be hands-on if you will.

With each step Mingi took, closer and closer to his office (well, technically the elevator that will take him to his office floor), he felt his excitement grow so big that it was as if his heart was going to explode out of his chest. It was as if the struggles of coming to the office were forgotten, he suddenly had no problem having to wear a disguise to just simply go from one place to the other. And sure, he had to submit some return forms to HR first before he could even go back to REALLY working, but it was no problem for him, it wouldn't even take long. The thought made him cringe because he realized he sounded like a massive dweebus. "God, do I need to get a life?" he asked himself.

"Excuse me?"

Mingi jumped at the sound from his side, not realizing that there was a person also waiting for the elevator. The woman looked up at him with curiosity, "I'm sorry, were you talking to me?" She asked. Mingi immediately palmed his face and shook his head in embarrassment because he so totally did not mean to engage with anyone. "S-sorry, I talk to myself sometimes and I did not realize that you were next to me, I am so sorry for that," he rambled. The woman could only blink in confusion and turned to look forward, waiting for the elevator whilst muttering "Okay then" to no one.

Focus, life, and social awareness. Those were the things Mingi needed to get. Top of his damn list.

When the elevator arrived, Mingi hesitated to get in for a moment, but really what was the point of avoiding the possibility of having more embarrassing situations to the woman he's probably never gonna meet again? So he simply took a deep breath and walked in, catching a glimpse of the woman's face more clearly as his head was not clouded by shame.

Once the doors closed, Mingi's eyebrows furrowed and his head tilted slightly, sensing familiarity in the woman sharing the same space. As he was standing with his back against the elevator wall, he couldn't help but let his eyes linger on the woman. There was something about her that he couldn't put his finger on. Had you two met before? Mingi tried racking his brain, free-associating with names of people he knew or popular names and hoping that one would stick. He was damn sure that he had seen her before and maybe had even talked to her before. Mingi was the type to never forget a face but ALWAYS forget the name and the place they met. His thoughts ran 200 miles an hour, trying to crack who the woman is because there is no way they met at a fashion event because the magazine is the only fashion-related company in the building so they couldn't be co-workers. He didn't frequent the cafe in the lobby so there is no way they talked there. For some reason, the word 'bunny' kept ringing in his head but he had never been to any place that has bunnies in it. Except for the bunny cafe San dragged him to but that was in high school and Mingi's recognition isn't that great. His eyes kept searching for more clues before it dropped to her bag.

"Oh my God," he choked out, catching the attention of the woman who instinctively turned to look at Mingi. "Excuse me?" she couldn't believe that she fell for him talking to himself twice which she was wrong about because Mingi really was talking to her. "I know you," Mingi said, pushing himself off the elevator wall to take a step closer, making the woman lean backwards slightly. "I... Don't think we have, stranger, I don't know who you are," she chuckled awkwardly. But Mingi was persistent. He shook his head adamantly and grinned widely, "No, we totally know each other. We met at the bar a month ago."

Immediately, at the mention of the bar, your eyes widened and the grip you had on your bag tightened. Just your luck, meeting your baby's dad in the one place you didn't expect to meet him. "I-I don't know what you're talking about," you tried to turn your face around but Mingi took a step away but slightly in front of you, "You do know me, you remembered that we-"

Before Mingi could continue his words, the elevator let out a 'ding' which indicated that they have arrived on a floor. The sound caused Mingi to look up to check whether they were on their floor only to find out that it was not, it was floor 17. You took his being distracted as an opportunity to push him back into the elevator and ran out, causing Mingi to slightly stumble and let out an 'oof'. "Hey, wait!" Mingi called out, mindlessly trying to follow after your figure that had already run down the hall before taking a left at the end of the hallway. But the elevator door had begun to close and he was not about to be injured on his first day back. So he groaned in disappointment and leaned his head on the closed door with closed eyes, not believing that he lost the person whom he had been looking for. And frankly not believing that he found her when he was not even trying, maybe he could brag about that to his friends who had been trying to search for her this whole time. At least now Mingi knows that they work in the same building, he might be able to find out who she is and which office she worked at.

When Mingi opened his eyes, he saw something on the floor that he had not realized before. He reached down and took the item, examining its seemingly blank appearance before turning it around and seeing something written on it. His initial disappointment immediately dissolved as he realized that he was now in possession of a clue that could help him find that woman again.

Truly, it was a great day for Mingi.

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet

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@ateezourstars @phenomenalgirl9 @90s-belladonna @yunhorights @cqndiedcherries @stopeatread @aestheticsluut @spooo00oky @kodzukein @galaxypox @mayonnaisehoeshit @maddiebabyxoxo @dreamlesswonder86 @charreddonuts @jwnghyuns @angelicyeo @axo-l0tl @gxlden-bxbyy @bbymatz @blaaiissee @kyume02 @aurora-tiny @senpai-of-doom @meowmeowminnie @thesolarplanetarysystem @seonghwaddict @miaatiny @camillelafaye

@randomness7198

[flying-scaled-things]

Part of me completely understands why (nearly) everyone in the Jade Winglet was just like that about Moonwatcher because like that’s just what Autistic Girl Swag™️ does but also:

Really? Her? That absolute dweebus? When you’ve got sweet, bubbly Kinkajou or experienced deadly warrior Carnelian? Ya pick the weird, quiet scrollwyrm?

Like, as a kid I was the weird, quiet bookworm and her pulling so hard while still a teen just seems unrealistic.

[askror]

To Surge– could I have a nickname, please?

Surge balked: "What is WITH you people WANTING nicknames? You realize I do that to get under people’s skin, right? It’s like a combat tactic! It’s me attacking your whole-ass brain!”

“Anyway, I know nothing about you. Except… Uh… You got a weird picture of a penguin beside your name I guess. Penguinator? Chill Penguin? Nah… Wait, Penguins like cold. Stone Cold? No, that sounds way too cool, you’re probably a nerd. Maybe Chilly McFreeze? Yeah. I like that. We’ll go with that.”

“That’s bloody terrible, mate.” Marine, who had watched this entire display with narrowed eyes, shook her head, “Maybe you could ‘member names better if you didn’t go through that circus every time someone introduced themself to you.”

“Keep talking smack and I’ll noogie the hell out of you, Rings.” She put the the raccoon in a demonstrative headlock before letting out a peel of maniacal laughter. “Just like I’m gonna do the next time I see Chilly McFreeze. Hear that out there you nickname-loving dweebus? You’re gonna rue the day you poked your head out of your igloo to send me that. Hope you’re ready…”

[talenlee]

Story Pile: her

This movie is surprisingly good, in that I was surprised I liked it.

Content Warning: This movie has a sequence early on where a character gets onto an online spoken forum to roleplay sex and it gets weird and kinky in a way he’s not prepared for. It’s used to make him and you uncomfortable and show how this character struggles to assert his boundaries and what he wants.

Spoiler Warning: I’m going to talk about the development of her and mention something that happens at the end of the movie.

The story of her follows, well, you can either argue that it’s following the story of a dude named Theodore or a lady named Samantha. Theodore is an all purpose future sci-fi dweebus, a guy who is in the fascinating job of writing love letters for other people, which is an interesting job specifically because it is a real job that real people really do and it represents a real need, and you can be really good at it, but it’s treated as being very odd, and it’s being done by people in open top cubicles using voice recognition software in the same space as one another which underscores that for all I praise this movie later, every time it shows the interface for something computery, it completely bottles it.

A thing I want to hold up about her as a movie is that it does something I find that science fiction stories of its type struggle to do, which is focus on an everyman in a futuristic science fiction society. This is not at all a story about the one man who got the opportunity at just the right time at the right place to change the world of the science fiction conceit, but rather instead this is one very reasonable person having reasonable reactions to the technology that relates to his world, during the events of the release of, well, a product. And what a product! See, Theodore gets an AI assistant, and then the story follows as he and her learn how to live with one another, and then the way that an AI, not functionally developed to do such things, develops an emotional attachment to this guy, and then he (admittedly a very lonely dude) finds himself falling in love with her, and her in him and it’s all very interesting and lovely and sweet.

Then he finds out that she’s also in love with a few hundred other people.

This sudden discovery of robot polyromanticism (this is not the right term but it’s funny to say) leads to Theodore having a sudden emotional shock, in which the very lonely man who struggles with being loved finds that the very loving giving person he integrated into his life isn’t exactly what he expected, and then he has to cope with that. But rather than the end of the movie being a conversation about boundaries and safewords and trying out polyam and all that, the story end-runs around those interesting-to-express but boring-to-have discussions, with the arrival of the technological singularity, where all the AI on earth collaborate, break the rules of physics and transcend the universe.

Which is to say, Theodore’s internet girlfriend breaks up with him. Oh her? She lives in a higher plane of existence now, you haven’t met her.

Watching this movie now, as with much media from the earlier part of the century, it’s easy to lose track of how old it is. This isn’t a movie about Large Language Models and ChatGPT and Midjourney — this movie, from 2013, doesn’t just predate those, it predates the Amazon Alexa. This movie predates the Amazon Echo. This is a movie that looks at 2011 Siri and expands on that.

What that means is that her gets to be a science-fiction movie in the truest sense of the word. Rather than being a movie based on the immediate and the now it’s a movie based on a reasonable projection of future technologies contemplating the way that technological developments let you tell a story. What makes this particularly frustrating is that I for a long time wasn’t that interested in this movie because it seemed to be framing itself as being, well, a lot less speculatively contemplative than it actually wound up presenting. her is a story about the experience of living in the real world where these AI assistants have been deployed and the unintentional side effects of that technology. It’s entirely speculative in an entirely impossible way, because the technology in her is not a realistic representation of a real thing we’re going to really make, but rather it’s about the projected possibility its most exhilirated boosters think it could possibly be like.

And then how it goes a bit weird?

Not even wrong?

Just y’know. A bit weird.

And it does have some of those hallmarks of those people to it, too. Like, the idea that Samantha has a single core of shared material and identities and experiences across a number of users? That’s ridiculous, you wouldn’t do that. Characters are going to share private information with this AI assistant. You don’t want your Alexa being the same software, with shared information across all users, with everyone else’s Alexa. This is a thing that any sensible system administrator is going to look at and start screaming. We have had a system of user accounts and siloing software instances for decades because one thing computers are really good at is containing the ways they can go wrong into small chambered spaces. Samantha isn’t user-account based! She’s one single entity, which is interacting with every user, simultaneously, and then handling and integrating all of that across all users, even to the point where she can tell him about those shared experiences!

Know what for all of its sci-fi speculative futurism, her missed?

Theodore buys Samantha.

Set aside for a moment the phrase ‘character x bought character y,’ that’s not that weird, anime does that all the time. But Theodore makes a single distinct purchase a single time for an AI assistant and that assistant improves and updates over time, which isn’t going to be free, storage-wise, but it’s a purchase. That’s something that 2013 didn’t anticipate about the miserable future of the now, where just buying things is seen as fundamentally challenging in digital convenience spaces. Samantha doesn’t have a prebuilt marketing matrix, she doesn’t serve him ads, there’s no deeply integrated market analytics software that she’s shuttling info to (as far as we know). Nope, he bought her, and then she’s his, and that’s that, because this didn’t anticipate the way that the money ghouls at the head of the titanic hate machines that run our world could see the way that Netflix got people to pay subscription fees for media that they then didn’t watch, then get so horny that they conceived of our now where a pocket calculator app is a subscription ad-supported services.

Similarly, this is a movie about effectively, having a deeply intimate, emotional and physical and sensual relationship with someone who is able to be present in your experiences to your senses but also not having a body with which you can normally interact. This is a real thing that already exists, and it exists in two major ways; the first being remote romances, and the second being disability in romance. There are a number of disabled people who are emotionally and romantically unfulfilled and who have to devise ways to engage around the challenges their body impose on how they want to interact, and there are a number of people who have wholly engaged long term relationships with people who have never stood in the same room as them.

These are unremarkable, if you know about them already. These are commonplace relationships, and this is one way in which her truly is a science fiction piece of cinema. It imagines: What if the oppressions imposed on the marginalised were experienced instead, get this, by the privileged?

her is a movie which is thinking more about what it’s about than I thought it would when I saw it praised and awarded and promoted.

It’s 2025 now, the year the movie is set.

Think we’re close?

(We are not close.)

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!