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yukkiji · 2 months ago

Text

third time's the charm

you’ve had a quiet but unwavering crush on tsukishima kei throughout high school. from his sharp rejections in first year to the subtle softening of his guarded heart by third year, your persistence slowly breaks through his walls. between harsh words, stolen glances, and small acts of kindness, you both navigate pride, vulnerability, and the slow burn of something real — making you wonder if maybe, just maybe, third time’s the charm.

haikyuu masterlist.

leave a little stardust on my ko-fi

starring. tsukishima kei x fem!reader ft. the first year gang (hinata, yachi, yamaguchi, kageyama)

genre: fluff, romance, slowburn, grumpy x sunshine,

wc: 4.4k

author's note: i got bit carried away with this one with the amount of words, since this a bit inspired by me having a crush on the same person during highschool and was always rejected lol thank god he always rejected me though hahahahha

it started with a rejection.

it was not the quiet, apologetic kind. it wasn't even a vague, gentle letdown.

you had barely even finished the words "i like you" before tsukishima kei, obviously unmoved, muttered a flat, "no thanks. i'm not interested."

you blinked at him under the afternoon sun, heard thudding in your ears, too stunned to process the way he turned and walked away. no sugarcoating. it was just typical tsukishima. just cold, brutal honesty.

and yet—somehow—you didn't give up.

you first met tsukishima kei through yachi hitoka.

you were from a different class, but the two of you had been friends for a while—neighbors in the same apartment building, often walking home together or sharing snacks after school.

one afternoon, yachi had roped you into helping her carry boxes of water and first aid supplies to the gym. she had just been recruited as karasuno’s new volleyball manager and was still fumbling her way through the responsibilities.

you didn’t have any real reason to say yes—you weren’t particularly into volleyball, and you weren’t especially interested in sports. but you owed yachi a favor, and her pleading eyes were hard to resist.

that’s when you saw him.

tall, aloof, and sharp-tongued, tsukishima wasn't exactly what you'd call approachable. but something about him fascinated you. maybe it was the quiet fire behind his eyes, or how he seemed to carry the weight of ambition without ever admitting he cared.

you didn't know what possessed you to like him.

maybe it was the way his eyes narrowed in concentration or how he always looked vaguely annoyed with the world, yet never missed a block. maybe it was how he ignored the chaos around him, but occasionally paused to push his glasses up in a way that made your chest flutter.

whatever it was, it rooted itself in your chest.

you started showing up to their practices more often, usually using yachi as an excuse. “just helping her out,” you’d say, even though at this point, everyone knew better. you never minded being there, quick to lend a hand with anything yachi needed—water bottles, towels, stats, errands. you blended in so easily that before long, you became the team’s unofficial third manager.

kiyoko even offered you the position formally once, but you gently turned it down with a smile. helping out was enough. you didn’t need a title.

you started small—an energy drink with a bright post-it that said “good luck!” (delivered by yachi, of course). then a neatly wrapped onigiri for one of their practice matches. a chocolate bar with a tiny sticker that simply read “for #11.”

yachi always handed them off with a knowing grin, and though tsukishima never said much, you noticed he never refused them either.

a few weeks later you confessed.

he didn't even blink. "no thanks, i'm not interested"

it stung.

you should've stop.

but you didn't.

"it's okay!" you smiled. "i'll still cheer for you."

tsukishima scoffs, before walking away.

tsukishima glanced your way from time to time. every time he did, he'd scoff and look away like he hadn't been caught. like the flush at the tips of his ears didn’t give him away.

you kept your promise.

when it was the final match of the miyagi prefectural spring qualifiers against shiratorizawa, you were there—cheering him on from the stands, sitting beside yachi, nerves buzzing through your fingertips.

“tsukki’s blocks are on point today,” yachi said, eyes wide in awe.

“i’ve noticed that too,” you murmured, leaning forward in your seat. “maybe it’s because this is the finals. if they win, they’re going to tokyo.”

“or maybe it’s because you’re here,” she added, nudging your side.

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop the smile tugging at your lips.

before you could respond, the whistle blew—sharp and sudden. your gaze snapped to the court just in time to see kiyoko hurrying over, and tsukishima walking off, cradling his hand. from where you sat, you could just barely make out the smear of blood trickling down his pinky.

your stomach sank.

“he’s okay,” yachi said quickly, catching your expression. “probably just a jam. he’s had worse.”

you nodded slowly, though the worry didn’t ease. you weren’t their manager, and you couldn’t exactly follow him to the infirmary. all you could do was wait.

a few minutes later, he was back on the court—bandages wrapped neatly around his hand. he didn’t look at you this time, but you let out a quiet sigh of relief.

they won.

karasuno won.

the gym erupted in cheers and celebration. you followed yachi down from the stands to meet the team. the air was thick with sweat and adrenaline and the sweet buzz of victory.

amid the noise, you caught sight of tsukishima, slipping away toward the changing rooms. the bandage around his hand had started to unravel, the makeshift tape peeling from the corners.

“wait, kei,” you called softly.

he paused mid-step, turning with that familiar tired glance. you held up a small first-aid kit you’d snagged from yachi’s stash.

“let me help,” you said, voice low. “your pinky—it’s not taped properly.”

he hesitated, clearly reluctant. then, with a resigned sigh, he muttered, “fine. just be quick.”

you sat with him just outside the infirmary, the sounds of celebration still echoing faintly behind you. gently, you took his hand, cleaning the scrape with practiced ease.

“you’re not a medic,” he mumbled, eyes narrowed as he watched your hands.

“no,” you said, focusing on the wrap, “but i’ve had practice with sprains. and you’re not exactly gentle with yourself.”

he scoffed under his breath but didn’t pull away.

you worked in silence for a moment, your fingers brushing against his in quiet concentration.

“you didn’t have to do this,” he said after a beat.

“i wanted to,” you replied, eyes lifting to meet his. “you were amazing tonight.”

he looked at you—really looked at you—and for a second, something passed between you. unspoken. uncertain. not ready to be said out loud.

you tied the final bit of tape and gave his hand a soft pat. “there. try not to break more fingers next time, yeah?”

he clicked his tongue, eyes flicking away. “you’re annoying.”

you stood with a light laugh, brushing your hands on your skirt. “yeah. but i show up.”

you turned to leave, walking back into the noise and warmth of celebration, hoping he felt the meaning behind those words.

because you always had.

and when you didn’t go to see them off when they left for tokyo for nationals. and you couldn’t watch in person either—there was just no way you could skip your classes.

yachi, currently standing at your apartment door with her usual concerned pout, was pleading for you to come with them.

"please? just this once?"

you sighed. "i really can’t skip, yacchan. i’ll get in trouble if i do.”

she muttered under her breath, “tsukki’s gonna be in a foul mood if you don’t come.”

"what?"

"nothing," she said quickly, avoiding your eyes and pouting harder.

you handed her a small omamori and smiled. “give this to kei. tell him good luck.”

yachi gave you a look—half teasing, half fond—before carefully tucking the charm into her bag. “don’t you ever want to give up?”

you shook your head, firm. “nope.”

“well, who am i to stop you anyway.”

she delivered your apology and your good lucks to the team like she promised. and when she handed the charm to tsukishima, she couldn’t help but grin at him, smug and knowing, before walking off to join kiyoko.

back at practice in tokyo, hinata pouted, “it’s weird not having her around, isn’t it?”

yamaguchi grinned. “tsukki’s been extra grumpy. coincidence?”

“i am not,” tsukishima snapped, shooting them a glare.

yachi giggled nervously. “you do seem… quieter than usual.”

he shoved his glasses up. “don’t be ridiculous.”

but he didn’t deny it.

when second year rolled around, your feelings didn’t fade. if anything, they deepened. you still showed up to every game and practice matches and even made special chocolate for valentine's (you also made for the rest of the team since you've gotten close to them at this point). sometimes, even protein bars or sports drink after practice which is of course, delivered by yachi.

your persistence has become a running joke among the team.

yamaguchi once asked you with a laugh, "are you planning on confessing again today, or are you giving him a snack break first?"

you just grinned. "depends on his mood."

but underneath the teasing was a fondness—a recognition of how constant you were.

"he pretends he doesn’t care," yachi whispered during lunch, poking at her food, "but i saw him keep the wrapper from the chocolate you gave him."

you paused. "really?"

she nodded quickly. "he doesn’t throw your stuff out anymore. i think that’s progress."

you had no illusions. tsukishima wasn’t the type to fall headfirst into anything, let alone a high school crush. he was cold, calculating, and painfully aware of how others perceived him. but still, you kept showing up. and something began to shift.

you noticed it in little things.

he’d stop walking away so quickly when you talked to him.

he’d take the snacks directly from your hand instead of through yachi.

he’d grumble, "tch, unnecessary," but still pocket the sweets.

and when a third-year on the basketball team tried to flirt with you behind the gym one day, tsukishima appeared like a shadow.

"she’s busy," he said, stepping in just slightly in front of you.

"didn’t think you cared, tsukishima."

"i don’t. but she has bad taste, so someone has to keep her alive."

you were too stunned to respond.

but later that day, you gave him a lemon soda. he didn’t say thank you, but he drank it in front of you this time.

there was a time when you were helping yamaguchi and yachi pin up the last batch of sponsorship posters for the upcoming spring tournament when he said something that lingered longer than it should’ve.

“he gets grumpy when you’re not at games,” yamaguchi said casually, smoothing the corner of a poster against the wall.

you paused mid-staple. “what?”

he glanced at you, lips tugging into a grin that was far too knowing. “he’ll never say it out loud, but if you’re not there cheering, he’s just… off. his blocks aren’t as sharp. he gets snappy. i think he’s gotten used to having you around.”

you looked away, biting back a smile. the flutter in your chest was immediate—warm and foolish.

but then you remembered the way kei always scoffed when you stood too close. the way he rolled his eyes when yachi teased him. the way he’d say “you’re annoying” like it was a reflex.

you knew better than to read too much into it.

still—you showed up.

you always did.

your second confession came during the school festival.

the night air was cool against your skin, carrying the faint scent of grilled food and melted candy. the laughter and chatter of your classmates echoed in the distance, muffled by the steady beat of your heart as you walked toward the back of the school building.

fireworks lit up the sky above, loud and brilliant—explosions of crimson, blue, and gold that danced across the clouds and cast flickering shadows against the rooftop. the world felt briefly suspended in light.

and there he was.

tsukishima kei stood near the railing, just out of view from the main festivities, bathed in the soft glow of firework shimmer. his arms were loosely crossed, posture relaxed but solitary, as if the weight of the night pressed too closely in crowded spaces.

you hesitated at first, your fingers tightening around the hem of your sleeves. but you took a step forward anyway.

“kei.” you called out, gently.

he didn’t look surprised.

his eyes flicked toward you, half-lidded, unbothered. the familiar indifference was there in the slight tilt of his chin, the unimpressed slant of his brow.

“let me guess,” he drawled, his voice a little more subdued than usual, “another confession?”

you smiled, small. not embarrassed, not hopeful. just honest.

“yeah.”

a beat of silence followed. he didn’t scoff this time. didn’t shake his head or turn away. he just… looked up. toward the sky. toward the bursts of light painting the clouds.

“you’re wasting your time,” he said at last, tone flat, like he was stating a fact more than trying to hurt you.

you nodded slowly, the corners of your lips dipping in acceptance. “probably. but i still like you.”

another silence stretched between you. but it wasn’t heavy.

it felt like the space after a long breath. like neither of you needed to say anything else to fill it.

kei didn’t walk away this time.

he stayed there, hands in his jacket pockets, eyes on the horizon as the last few fireworks painted gold into his blond hair and soft shadows under his eyes.

he didn’t say thank you. or i’m sorry. or don’t.

but he didn’t push you away either.

his shoulders had relaxed slightly. the usual edge in his stance—the one that screamed don’t get close—had dulled. and though he didn’t look at you, he didn’t seem to mind your presence.

so you stood beside him, close enough to hear the way his breath caught with each firework burst.

the world was quiet in that little space you shared. no declarations. no grand romantic gestures. just the sound of distant music, the echo of fireworks, and the stubborn truth you carried in your chest.

you took his silence as progress.

because sometimes staying said more than any rejection ever could.

by the third year, something between you had changed.

you weren’t just a background character in his day anymore. you were there—persistent, present, and impossible to ignore.

you weren’t loud about it. never demanding, never clingy. but your presence threaded itself into his routine like a habit he didn’t remember forming.

you learned the rhythms of his life: when he had exams and needed space to study, when his knees hurt after long practices and he walked with just the slightest wince. you started carrying an extra pain patch in your bag without saying why. you knew when he wanted silence—those days when the weight of everything made him sharper-tongued than usual—and when he needed a distraction, even if he never asked for one.

he learned things, too. things you hadn’t meant for him to notice.

that you liked melon bread more than any other snack, even though you pretended not to be picky. that you always hummed softly under your breath when you were nervous—little melodies that stopped just short of forming actual songs. that your smile was always a little brighter, a little fuller, whenever you handed him something: a drink, a small note, chocolates during valentine’s—even when you knew he wouldn’t react the way you hoped.

he caught himself watching you more often than he liked to admit.

once, during a water break at practice, you were talking to yachi near the gym doors. your laughter filtered in easily, soft and light. tsukishima glanced your way—just a glance—and lingered too long.

yamaguchi caught him.

“you like her, don’t you?” tadashi asked later, a little too casually.

“shut up,” kei muttered, not looking up from the sports drink he was pretending to be way too interested in.

tadashi grinned. “you literally growled at that guy from nekoma for asking her where she bought her jacket.”

“he was being weird.”

“jealousy looks weird on you, kei.”

“i will end you.”

but even that was different. because he didn’t deny it.

and maybe that meant something.

still, it wasn’t all teasing and harmless glances. there were moments where something heavier settled between you—where kei seemed at war with himself, tugged between pride and something softer he didn’t quite know how to carry.

after a tough loss at an practice match—one that hit harder because it was close—he sat outside the gym alone. the sky was already going gray, the air damp with oncoming rain. everyone else had filed into the bus, too tired to say much.

you didn’t ask for permission. you just stepped off the bus, walked quietly over, and sat beside him.

you didn’t say anything. just handed him a canned coffee—his favorite kind, the bitter one you personally thought tasted like disappointment—and let the silence breathe.

ten minutes passed. long and quiet and a little raw.

finally, he spoke.

“you don’t have to keep trying.”

his voice was low. tired. defeated in a way you rarely saw from him.

“i’m not worth it.”

you turned to look at him, blinking slowly, your heart pulling tight.

“you don’t get to decide what’s worth it for me.”

his shoulders tensed, jaw clenching briefly. he didn’t look at you. but he didn’t move away either.

he didn’t say anything after that.

you stayed until he finished the coffee.

then nationals came around. when you heard karasuno had advanced to the semi-finals and made it back to center court, you were determined to be there. you were ready to pull some strings if you had to—but luckily, the vice principal was kind enough to approve a school trip for students to support the volleyball team in tokyo.

the nationals were everything.

for karasuno, it was the culmination of years of growth, grit, and stubborn perseverance. for you, it was watching him—the boy who once scoffed at your feelings—rise higher than anyone expected, one perfectly timed block at a time.

you cheered until your throat was raw. you clutched your chest with every rally. and when they secured third place, you stood in the stands, tears in your eyes and pride blooming so fiercely in your chest it almost hurt.

you were proud of all of them—of kageyama’s precision, of hinata’s impossible speed, of yamaguchi’s quiet bravery—but mostly, you were proud of him.

tsukishima kei.

he had changed. not loudly, not in some grand sweeping arc. but little by little, he had let himself care. you saw it in the way he threw himself into every play, in the way he smirked after a well-timed block, in the way he started calling his teammates by name.

but still, you didn’t confess that day. not yet.

because this time, you needed it to be real. not a question, not a whim, not a gamble.

late that night, when the stadium had emptied and the streets had quieted, you found him.

the gym was dim and nearly silent, save for the soft hum of the overhead lights and the distant clatter of janitorial carts somewhere down the hall. he stood near center court, his jersey still clinging to him with sweat and exhaustion. his head was tilted back, eyes tracing the ceiling as though he were still replaying the match in his mind.

you stopped in the doorway, watching him quietly for a moment.

“karasuno did amazing,” you whispered, the words reverent. like praise. like prayer.

he didn’t look at you, but his voice came low. “could’ve done better.”

you stepped closer, your footsteps echoing softly on the polished gym floor. “tsukki…”

he turned, eyes meeting yours finally.

“…this is the last time.”

his brows drew together, faintly. he said nothing, but you could feel the tension in the air tighten, like the pause before a serve.

“i like you,” you said, voice shaking but certain. “i’ve liked you for three years. but this is the last time i’ll say it. if you reject me now, i’ll stop.”

the silence stretched, taut as a string pulled too tight.

then he sighed. looked away.

“you’re so stupid,” he muttered, the words quiet but harsh. “wasting your time on someone like me.”

you bit your lip, but still smiled through the sting. “probably.”

something shifted. his shoulders, usually squared and defensive, lowered a fraction. and then—he stepped closer.

“you never left,” he said, softer now. “even when i was an ass. even when i pretended not to care.”

your breath caught. he wasn’t looking at you directly, but his hands were fidgeting at his sides, clenching and unclenching like he didn’t know what to do with them.

“i noticed,” he admitted. “everything. the snacks. the cheering. the stupid little notes you kept sneaking into my locker. i noticed all of it.”

his voice cracked slightly, like the admission cost him something.

“i just… i didn’t know how to deal with someone who actually gave a damn.”

you didn’t move. you didn’t speak.

then his hand lifted—hesitant, trembling just barely—and his fingers brushed against your cheek. awkward. gentle. like he was trying to memorize the shape of your face.

“i don’t want you to stop,” he whispered.

you let out a shaky laugh, relief bubbling up in your chest like the end of a long, aching winter. “took you long enough.”

and finally—finally—he leaned in.

you met him halfway.

the kiss wasn’t perfect. it was hesitant and slightly off-center, and you could feel the tremor in his fingers where they now cupped your jaw. but it was soft and real and so full of everything unsaid over three long years. years of cold shoulders, soft glances, unnoticed favors, and a hundred quiet hopes.

when you pulled away, breath mingling, your forehead rested against his, and for a moment, everything was still.

and then—

“tsukki kissed her!!”

hinata’s voice echoed across the gym like a fire alarm.

you both froze.

tsukishima turned slowly, murder in his eyes.

yachi stumbled into view, wide-eyed with panic. “we weren’t spying!”

“you were literally hiding behind the curtain,” you deadpanned, not even bothering to sound surprised.

“i tried to stop them!” yachi insisted, flapping her arms like a terrified bird. “they dragged me into it!”

yamaguchi emerged next, dragging a snickering hinata by the collar while kageyama followed, red-faced and visibly trying not to make eye contact.

“i swear to god,” tsukishima muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose, “i will kill all of you.”

“totally worth it,” hinata whispered loudly to yamaguchi, who was grinning like he’d just won the lottery.

“told you she’d get you eventually,” yamaguchi added, clearly far too smug for his own good.

you glanced at tsukishima. he was glaring, his cheeks faintly pink, jaw clenched like he was weighing the pros and cons of turning around and walking into traffic.

but his hand was still resting lightly against your back.

so maybe, you thought, as you looked at him—just maybe—he didn’t mind being caught after all.

graduation day arrived too soon.

the campus buzzed with a bittersweet energy—laughter ringing out over caps and gowns, tearful hugs exchanged in hallways, and the steady click of camera shutters capturing fleeting moments. you held your diploma in one hand and your future in the other, but your eyes searched for him.

and there he was.

standing beneath the arching cherry blossoms, hands in his pockets, tassel swinging lazily from his cap. the same spot where you’d confessed to him just a year ago. the same courtyard where everything had changed.

you walked over, heels crunching lightly on fallen petals, nerves fluttering even now—because even after everything, this still felt surreal.

"still not tired of me?" you asked, voice light, teasing—just enough to cover the emotion behind it.

tsukishima glanced your way, and for a moment, the world hushed.

he rolled his eyes, but the edge that used to come with it was gone—softened into something warm, familiar. he was smiling now. that small, rare smile he saved just for you.

"not even close," he murmured.

and then he leaned in, fingers brushing your jaw with quiet certainty, and kissed you. there was no hesitation this time. no guarded edges. just the press of his lips against yours, firm and steady and full of promise.

because you waited.

because you stayed.

because you never gave up on him—not even when he pushed you away, not even when he said nothing at all.

and against all odds, tsukishima kei had fallen in love.

with you.

and in that moment, with cherry blossoms drifting like confetti around you, you knew:

it had been worth every awkward silence.

every rejection.

every year of trying.

because this—this—was everything.

bonus scene.

years passed.

the sound of sneakers squeaking on hardwood floors was replaced with roaring crowds, giant jumbotrons, and professional-level pressure. but some things hadn’t changed.

you still sat in the stands, heart in your throat, cheering louder than anyone else. you still kept your eyes on him—watching every block, every play, every subtle tilt of his head. the arenas were bigger now, the spotlight brighter. but to you, he was still kei. still the boy who used to hide behind sarcasm and side comments. still the boy who kissed you under cherry blossoms.

that night, his team had clawed their way to victory in a five-set thriller. the final point had the crowd erupting. you stood in the stands, clapping until your hands stung, pride burning in your chest like a second heartbeat.

afterward, you made your way to the side entrance—where the press couldn’t follow. you waited behind the barricades, bundled in your coat as the late winter air nipped at your cheeks. the cold settled in your bones, but you didn’t mind.

you always waited.

eventually, he appeared. his warm-up jacket was unzipped halfway, hair still damp from a quick rinse, duffel bag slung casually over his shoulder. he looked tired—but content. the kind of tired that came from giving everything he had.

his eyes scanned the crowd, ignoring reporters and staff—until they landed on you.

and softened.

"you always wait," he said, stepping closer until he stood on the other side of the gate.

"and you always win," you replied, smiling despite the chill.

he chuckled—low, breathy. real. he stepped past the barrier with ease, his hand catching yours before pulling you into his arms. his embrace was firm, grounding, like coming home.

his chin rested atop your head, and for a while, neither of you said anything. just the quiet thrum of distant cheers and the beat of his heart beneath your cheek.

then, softly, almost like a secret:

“remember when you said you’d stop confessing if i rejected you again?”

you smiled into his chest. “yeah. i meant it, too.”

a beat of silence. then he tilted your chin up with two fingers, his gaze steady.

“i’m glad i didn’t.”

and then he kissed you—without restraint, without fear. it was deeper now. certain. the kind of kiss that didn’t ask questions anymore—it just knew.

you kissed him back with every piece of your heart.

because time had passed, but love had only deepened.

because he had chosen you—again and again and again.

and somewhere deep in your soul, you understood:

this was still only the beginning.

1K notes · View notes

navybrat817 · 7 months ago

Note

Any thoughts for WETnesday with Bucky?🤭🤭

Okay, Syd. I wrote this after work for Wetnesday and promptly fell asleep. So, I'm posting this on Thirsty Thursday! And that has to be Mr. Barnes before you two are married.

Dinner Plans

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky doesn't want to be late for dinner, but you don't seem to be in a rush to go.

Word Count: Over 2.8k

Warnings: Established relationship, quick unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, lovelies), possessive behavior, a bit of humor and fluff, feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).

A/N: I love this couple, okay? @targaryenvampireslayer and @starlightcrystalline, I hope you enjoy! ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

It was still early in the evening as Bucky got ready for dinner. Checking his watch once he put it on, he sighed. If he was late, Steve would give him a hard time. And if Steve gave him a hard time, Sam would only give him the gasoline to fuel the fire. Just the thought of it had his face shift to his grumpy stare you loved.

His gaze softened when you went to the vanity. Would the guys give him a hard time if he said he was in love and wanted as much alone time with you as possible? How being with you was like floating on a cloud and being pulled back down to earth all at once? He didn’t care if they’d call him out for being sappy. He sure as hell suffered enough in his life that he could afford to be appreciative of you and maybe a little selfish when it came to you.

But checking the time, he grumbled. “We were supposed to leave five minutes ago,” he said.

He would’ve rather gone to a hole in the wall kind of place or a diner to have dinner, but it wasn't his turn to pick the dinner out with some of the gang. Plus it was nice getting to dress up with you since you liked how he looked in suits. To be fair, you said he looked good in anything and he felt the same way about you. How you always managed to look like a goddess, he’d never know.

You hummed. “We still have a few minutes to spare,” you said, which he wasn’t sure how you knew since you hadn’t looked at the time. “And you are not dressed yet, so it’s not like we can head out the door.”

He paused to stare at you. “Neither are you,” he pointed out, licking his lips as you leaned forward a bit more as you applied your makeup. He shook his head after a moment, trying to snap himself out of the spell you always managed to put him under. “I’m bringing you one of my cardigans to put over your shoulders in case you get cold.”

Because the weather was nice for the evening, you picked out a sleeveless dress. He didn’t know if the restaurant would be cold though, and he didn’t want you shivering through the meal. You likely had something to match your dress, but putting one of his cardigans over you was like that extra touch of belonging to him in case anyone got any ideas.

“You just want one of your shirts draped over me like a big neon sign that says I’m yours and you don't want guys checking me out on my dress,” you said like you knew exactly what he was thinking. There was no reason to deny your words since it was the truth. “But I appreciate the thoughtfulness.”

“I do like my clothes draped over you,” he smirked. He liked having his smell on you, too. “But you know what I don’t like? Steve and Sam bitching if we’re late. It’ll spoil my appetite.”

“Aww, my poor super soldier,” you teased, smiling at him in your reflection and making his heart skip a beat. “If we’re late, you can just blame me. I won’t let them give you a hard time, okay?”

Bucky couldn’t blame you though. Not entirely. You were late getting in the shower thanks to him insisting on the two of you staying in bed. Serum stamina or whatever you wanted to call it, but he felt bad some days for his almost constant need. You didn’t seem to mind though.

“They won’t believe me,” he said, staring again when the strap of your bra slipped from your shoulder. “And baby, you know I adore you, but you need to quit distracting me so I can finish getting dressed.”

Ever since you moved in, you’d been a distraction in a wonderful way. He often found that he’d pause to look at photos or little touches you incorporated into the place, giving him a chance to reflect on memories you made together and even learn more about who you were before you met. Hearing your laughter or voice call to him from another room also made him drop whatever he was doing, too. Sharing a space with someone could be daunting, but it was easy with you, like you had lived together for years. It made him look forward to more.

“Me? Distracting you?” You turned your head toward him and gave him an innocent glance. You were anything but innocent. “I'm not doing anything.”

Bucky almost snarled. Like hell you weren't doing anything. Swaying your hips and prancing around in your lingerie before you sat to get ready, lingerie which barely covered your gorgeous tits and sweet cunt. He wanted to rip it to shreds or tear it off with his teeth. You wouldn’t mind, right? He could always get you more to destroy.

“Not doing anything? Look at you,” he said incredulously as you turned back to the mirror and pushed your bra up. He should’ve been holding your breasts. “Why aren't you wearing a robe?”

You tilted your head. “Well, you said before I got in the shower that we were in a slight rush, so I figured putting on the robe was a waste of time. At least I have my underwear on, though I know you’d rather I be naked.”

If Bucky had his way, you’d be naked all the time. At least, when you two were at home. Logically he knew he couldn’t have that at work, functions, or anything of that nature, but the image in his head was nice. “For such a rush you seem to be taking your time.”

“I'm not taking my time. I'm finishing my makeup,” you argued, carefully applying your lipstick. “Like it?” you asked, blowing him an air kiss. It was a pretty shade. It would look even prettier smeared around his cock.

He closed his eyes with a groan. Some days he felt like a caveman with the thoughts that consumed him. “You look beautiful,” he said once he opened his eyes. Like always. “Now get your dress on so I can show you off before I put the cardigan on you.”

“Show me off?” You slowly stood from your chair and gave him a generous view of your backside. His cock twitched in his pants, and there was no reason to hide the pure lust in his eyes when you turned to face him. “You flatter me, Mr. Barnes.”

He chuckled. It always did something to him when you called him Mr. Barnes. It was something affectionate, sweet. “I think you’re the one flattering me, Mrs.-” he exhaled before he could finish, and he heard the hitch in your breath across the room.

“What was that?” you asked breathily.

He adjusted the watch on his wrist and avoided your gaze. You were his girl, yeah, and the love you had for each other spoke volumes, but you weren’t his wife. Not yet. God, how he wanted you to be- for you to take his last name, wear his ring on your finger, be his partner in all aspects of life. He wanted it to be more than just a dream.

“I didn’t say…” He cleared his throat and put on a blank face, only because he didn’t know how you’d react. “Anything.”

Your eyes raked over him before you beckoned him forward with a finger. He swore no one would ever control him again after HYDRA brainwashed him, but you could’ve commanded him to do anything. It didn’t frighten him because you would never harm him, never take advantage of him. Taking him into your care and maintaining his trust was one of the ways you showed you loved him.

Once he stood in front of you, barely an inch away, you whispered, “Were you about to call me Mrs. Barnes?”

He swallowed hard, his heart racing. It was one thing to say you loved each other, to want a future together, but what if you weren’t ready when he popped the question? “I was,” he whispered back.

You smiled, not looking the least bit put off or afraid. He should've known it wouldn't bother you, especially with you being the one to say “I love you” first. “I think that has a really nice ring to it,” you said, your hands moving to unbuckle his belt.

“You think so?” he asked, forgetting for a moment that he was capable of breathing. “You like the idea of being my wife?”

Bucky would no doubt be the kind of husband who’d brag about you. He’d find ways to insert “my wife” in conversations just to let others know that you picked him out of everyone else on the planet. Not just that, he wanted people to know how proud he was to be your man and that he’d find reasons every day to be proud of you.

“I love it,” you confirmed, sighing when he ran his fingertips along your arms. “Makes my heart race,” you admitted. He could hear it. “Makes me wet.”

Bucky arched his hips and pressed up against you. “Baby, you’re gonna kill me,” he whispered, not stopping you as you unbuttoned his pants. He was thinking of just cancelling dinner so he could throw you on the bed and stay inside you for the rest of the night. “We need to-”

“Oh. Now might be a good time to tell you that Steve pushed the reservation back by a half hour,” you cut in, mouthing over his racing pulse. “He figured he’d message me since I’m better about checking my phone, and-”

Bucky picked you up with ease and tossed you onto the bed. Your wide-eyed expression as you bounced nearly had him busting out of his pants, and he didn’t hesitate to crawl over you and pin you down. Relishing in the moan you let out when he lightly bit your neck, he did it again a little harder. “No wonder you took your time and teased me,” he smirked when you squirmed beneath him. “My future wife.”

“My future husband,” you moaned, bucking your hips up. “Need you in me. We can be quick.”

You got a hand in his hair and forced his head up to yours, your tongue impatiently pushing into his mouth. He groaned in understanding, feeling just as desperate as you. Knowing how turned on you were at the thought of being his wife turned him on, and he could barely form a coherent thought as he took his cock out and gave it a couple of quick pumps.

“Say it again,” he demanded, shoving your panties aside and rubbing the head of his cock along your slit. He took his time earlier today stretching you, and he wanted nothing more than to feel you around him again.

And the way you reached between your bodies and gripped the base of his cock, he knew you wanted the same when you said, “Fuck me, my future husband.”

He eased in gently, making you whine. He thought he’d whine, too, for a second because of how good he felt. God, how good it would feel to hold your hand one day and feel his ring against your skin. “You okay?” he asked, dragging his thumb along your lower lip once he was fully inside you. You were tight still, so wet, and oh, he was going to fuck you and make it quick, but he wasn’t going to hurt you.

“I’m okay,” you whispered, starting deep into his eyes as you clenched around him with purpose and brushed his hair back. He tried to be still, tried not to thrust like a wild animal. “Are you?”

“I’m okay,” he promised, easing his hips back. “Just hold on while I fuck you.”

Your back arched when he slammed himself back in nice and deep, your cry bouncing off the walls. Here in the comfort of your home you didn’t have to smother any noises, didn’t have to keep quiet. He wanted to tell you how much he loved you, how you were the queen of his world.

Being inside you all he got out was, “You feel so fucking good.”

And because you could read him like no one else could, you tenderly smiled. “I love you, too.”

He threw his head back as you clutched his arms, determined to make you feel good, determined to show you how much he loved you even as he fucked you. “Gonna put you on your hands and knees after dinner. Make you watch in the mirror while I fuck you,” he groaned. “Can imagine it's part of our honeymoon.”

“Please!’ you moaned, trying to meet his thrusts.

Bucky grabbed your thighs to lift you higher, uncaring if he ruined his pants for the evening. Watching you tremble beneath his, a vision of ecstasy, he was happy to stay there forever. Wrapped up in you was where he always wanted to be.

“Gonna come,” you moaned, reaching up to pull his hair again, your body quaking. “Bucky, please.”

Bucky groaned. He hadn’t rubbed your clit how he wanted to. Didn’t get to tear your bra off and tease your nipples. He did promise to fuck you later though, and he’d do all those things and more. “Then come for me,” he smirked, leaning down to say against your lips, “Future. Mrs.. Barnes.”

You got impossibly tight and the flood of wetness that gushed around him triggered his own orgasm, a rush of heat filling him as he filled you. His mouth fell open as you clung to him, and he heard you moan his name as your eyes went glossy. He wanted the image of you getting off to taking his last name etched in his brain for all time. He wanted his name to fall from your lips again and again on your wedding night.

The cloud in his mind began to lift. You, his future wife, were beneath him, still shaking, still holding him like a lifeline. He didn’t want to let you go either. “Holy… shit…” you panted.

He braced himself above you, trying not to crush you as the euphoria slowly faded. It never really went away though. Not with you. “Holy shit,” he agreed. He stayed inside you, your sweet mewl making him smile as he kissed you. “Is this a new kink?” he asked, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Yeah,” you exhaled, touching his cheek. “New kink unlocked.”

Touching your lips with his once more, he chuckled. “You ruined my pants,” he teased. It wouldn’t have been the first time. The first time you rode his thigh and got your release all over it, he nearly came, too. “Good thing I have a few minutes to change.”

He cradled you close when he shifted to the side, making you moan again. “Yeah, well, you ruined my panties. Fair is fair.”

“I did,” he smirked, running his fingers along your spine. “Hey.”

“Hey what?”

“I love you,” he whispered, wanting to say it as often as he could. They weren’t just words, but a declaration, a promise.

“I love you, too,” you whispered back, tracing one of the buttons on his wrinkled shirt.

His lips brushed your forehead. He’d never get tired of hearing you say that. “If I asked you to marry me right now, would you say yes?”

He wouldn’t propose right this second. You deserved something more romantic. But in his heart, he just wanted to hear you say that you’d say yes.

You giggled, your eyes full of love. “I would say yes in a heartbeat,” you replied, kissing him gently. Your answer relieved him. “And I’d marry you anytime, anywhere.”

He raised an eyebrow. “But?” he asked, sensing a “but” in there.

“But don’t ask me right now, okay?” you smiled, in sync with his thoughts. “I mean, I’d like to think my pussy would make you propose now-”

“And it would,” he smirked.

You giggled again. “But ask me when I’m not expecting it… Whenever it feels right to you.”

“I will,” he promised.

“Looking forward to it.” You snuggled closer and missed his look of adoration. “Hold me for one more minute before we get ready to go?”

As if he could ever deny you. “I’ll hold you as long as you want,” he whispered.

He no longer cared if Steve or Sam gave him shit should they show up late. If you wanted him to skip dinner just to hold you, he’d do it. If you wanted him to surprise you when he proposed, he would. And no matter when Bucky asked you to be his wife, he’d make sure it was perfect as it could possibly be.

AHH! I love them so much. How do you lovelies think he proposed? ❤️ Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

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novantinuum · 2 months ago

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Lars of the Stars spinoff wish list:

The current synopsis, for reference later on:

"Steven Universe: Lars of the Stars explores the past, present and future of the universe. The sequel follows Lars Barriga, eternal teenager and space outlaw, as he and his pirate crew smuggle contraband, evade the authorities and uncover the darkest secrets of the fallen Gem Empire."

This is just a personal list of things I would be interested in seeing, even If it would (tragically) debunk my precious headcanons and OC riddled post canon universe:

I would most like this to be set post SUF, tbh. I feel like it Will be, given the line "fallen Gem Empire."

TV-14 rating like Fiona and Cake was so there's a smidge more leeway in the topics they could explore, and to what Depth they can be explored. Also I want Lars to say at least One swear, lol.

Fluorite's components would be fun to see! Perhaps they have to unfuse for a recon mission, or something.

This may finally be a good time to do the plotline with Rhodonite's components and her OG Morganite. Maybe she gets kidnapped by her original "owner" and has to be rescued?

I would love for Lars and crew to be a shining light towards all numbers of fusions and mistreated Gems who are still caught under the rule of Era 2 sympathizers who haven't yet conformed to new Era standards.

Re: the above, I just want to see more juice on what old Era 2 elites are thinking in this new Era. Which ones are begrudgingly conforming? Which ones are ready to throw a coup?

In fact, who got elected to be Homeworld's new leader? How are they doing? Are Gems listening to their authority, or are they struggling to keep the peace?

I am VERY curious to know what "smuggling contraband" means in the context of this show if it IS set post SUF, as... what kind of contraband are they stealing that would be illegal to the new Gem leadership? Perhaps they're stealing from old Homeworld elites Robin Hood style, or something. Or... perhaps the new Gem leadership itself gets hijacked by old Era 2 sympathizers and they have to push back on that.

It would be interesting if one of the crew happened to leave mid show because they found a genuine calling somewhere else, and someone new joined the gang in their place. Specifically, because I'd love to see how a new personality meshes with all the other characters.

More Padparadscha content where she isn't always the butt of the joke- the comics did a nice job at finding ways to make her ability very useful to the plot, so more of that in this show would be cool.

It would be cool to see more twinned Gems like the two Rutiles.

I kinda feel like a Steven appearance is unlikely bc I don't know if Zach Callison is down to be involved, but he COULD show up in spirit through Stevonnie. That would be cool for a midseason "event" episode.

It would also, of course, be nice to see the Crystal Gems again. If they make any appearance, I have to imagine it would be in a bombastic season finale.

Hessonite, please. Bring Hessonite to the main show.

I'm sure I will think of more things later.

#su #steven universe #lars barriga #lars of the stars #nova rambles

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seungcheorry · 6 months ago

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Ot13 reaction on how many kids SVT would have?

how many kids svt would have:

seungcheol probably wants to have two at least. i can picture him having a baby girl and then getting too excited once his partner is free from the whole post partum thing and getting them pregnant again right afterwards. he would really wish for a baby boy then.

jeonghan would love to have two as well, and i can see him having twins - i don't know why, something in him just screams FATHER OF TWINS to me. probably two girls? it's a lot of work though, he'll be done with having kids, would probably even do the surgery so he can't have any anymore.

joshua is very similar to seungcheol to me, would probably have a boy and then get too excited and have a girl because his dna is just good like that. the prettiest kids to ever exist actually, and he's so in love with them that it can be quite easy to talk him into having another one after a few years.

junhui screams boy dad to me, so yeah. i can see him having only one child, a really savage boy just like minghao was back in the day? weird but in a good, chomical way. he would be really good friends with his kid, like a partners in crime type of relationship.

soonyoung... oh, soonyoung. he says he wants to have lots and lots of kids because he loves having his house full but after the first one - a baby boy -, he gets so tired that he actually apologizes to his mom. might slip or be talked into having another one (he just wants his kid to have a relationship like the one he has with his sister); would really hope for a girl then, would probably get another boy though.

wonwoo is a definitely a girl dad too. he would really hope for a boy (i don't know why, i just feel like he would) but then it comes a baby girl and he turns into mush for her. such a goner, i can't even begin to describe - she can tell him to stay put for 20 whole minutes while she pretends to make tea and he won't move a muscle, just stay there and watch her because she told him to. would probably just want one.

jihoon is a girl dad and i will die on this hill. he's also a goner for his girl, he's very strict with things but also he doesn't like to be rough to her so he's just, i don't know, the perfect balance? most likely to be the favorite parent and learn about his daughter secrets before his partner because she just trusts him like that. would also just want one.

seokmin would love three - the first one (a boy) is probably planned; the second one (a girl) is probably an expected accident as he doesn't mind having sex without protection even though he knows the risks; the third one (another boy) is probably an unexpected accident that he cries in joy when he sees for the first time. he would definitely tell his partner "i'm so glad we got drunk that night" while seeing his two oldest children ganging up to change the new baby's diaper.

mingyu definitely wants two kids, he loves his sister too much and knows how a sibling relationship can literally save someone. most likely to have two girls, and his partner might ask him if he isn't sad that they didn't have a boy but he's too busy to answer as he's teaching the girls how to make ramyeon :(

minghao already said himself, he's not the one who gets to decide how many kids he and his partner will have, but he wants two - and can be bend into having a third one. i can see him having a boy and then a girl, and if he and his partner decides for another one, then it would be another girl, probably.

seungkwan would have two girls and his dramatic ass would say it's karma because what do you mean he grew up with his older sisters and now he has to take care of yet other two girls who will bicker and gang up on him just like his sisters did? behind that facade though he would love to take care of them and to see them grow together. most emotional dad, for sure.

vernon is a boy dad to me and he would say he only wants one kid but then he sees him growing up on his own and don't get me wrong, the kid is totally fine with it, but vernon can't stop thinking about how sofia changed his life and he would go "yeah, we might need another one" to his partner. makes a whole deal about it when he finds out his second child is gonna be a girl. "REALLY, WHAT ARE THE ODDS?"... but it's not that hard, vernon. i'm glad you're happy though, i know you love your kids.

chan is also a boy dad and he would probably want another kid but once he realizes how much work and effort it takes, he's sticking to just one. if his partner ever wants another one they would have to really talk him into it, might even need to ask seokmin for help, because chan would stand his ground and say no. but honestly? he's a loverboy, at the end he might just say yes and then meet his cute little daughter and be like "oh my god, why didn't we make her sooner?"

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pineapplepr1nc3ss888 · 5 months ago

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HOW TO REVISE:

revision is the thought of rewriting a past event that you wish to have occurred, you immerse yourself in that feeling and you affirm/visualise your desired outcome and act as if it’s true.

do not fear this, you have to remember you are the creator and get yourself out of the victim mentality. revision is changing past events to your desired outcome and it’s nothing to be scared of, whatever you revise will reflect what you have assumed/manifested.

reality as i have said before is completely malleable because it’s fluid. you shift yourself to a state/reality where these events never ever happened. it is extremely easy. you can revise anything you want.

death for example, a loved one died in your reality? you will shift when you immerse yourself in the feeling they’re alive or affirm/visualise they never died then you shift to a reality where this person never died. that is ALL you are doing. revision is shifting your awareness to a reality where it never happened. it can be anything.

these are some success stories from Sammy’s Mermaid Gang, all creds goes to the people who posted them but using these for examples that anything is possible:

I cured my grandpa when he was in his death bed!!!

“So guys I'm so grateful and happy that my grandpa is doing so much better now so what happened was 10 days back my grandpa got very sick everyone around us including my family members n doctors said that he won't survive the day everyone was preparing themselves for his demise but I decided that wasn't fuckin happening i kept revising in my head that he's alright and though he kept getting worse I kept staying positive and I even told my mom to just affirm but she just yelled at me calling me immature and everything so i didn't tell anyone n kept affirming in my mind, even though everyone was so worried at home i kept calm and didn't worry much and now I just went n visited my grandpa after few days n he's almost back to normal he's doing great I'm so happy ❤️”

another:

“I REVISED MY GRANDMOTHER’S PERCEIVED DEATH.

to make a long story short, she was in the ICU on a ventilator and i only had about 3-4 days of rampaging before they would take her off. i persisted and affirmed that she’s healthy and well over 30000 times on the counter app and even more in my head alone. i was anxious and fearful the entire time but persisted anyways. yesterday was the day and there was NO movement or signs that she was doing better. my family and i were in a video chat saying our last goodbyes to her. i was at work and had to hang up, so i was under the impression that she didn’t make it after they took her off the ventilator. i was told that she “lived a long life”. i couldn’t comprehend what happened because i KNEW i was persisting and the law is foolproof, so i affirmed more for her before bed and left it at that.

i woke up to news that she actually survived throughout the night BREATHING ON HER OWN WITH OXYGEN ONLY and that the hospital will be sending her home because there’s nothing they can do for her and she’s completely stable. i called multiple family members CONFUSED saying i thought she died and the responses i got were: no, she didn’t die. who told you that? despite everyone being gathered together in the hospital crying the night before…

the only explanation i have for this is that i shifted realities. because persisted anyways despite the 3d evidence (old story) and perception of her dying, my new assumptions came to pass and everything else before that ceased to exist. i’ve never manifested anything like this before. i’m going to keep affirming until she’s fully healthy.”

this is revising age:

“This is my second time revising my age... First time I did it was I was turning 26 and I wanted to join a certain competition with the age limit of 24! So I revised my age to 23... I kept telling myself that I was born in 1994, even my birthday certificate shows I was born in 1994, and that no body not even my own mother remember my old age...

Here comes the interesting part.. 2weeks before the registration deadline my birthday certificate went missing and I always had it with me... But it disappeared completely, and I couldn't find it so I asked my dad if it was possible to make another for me, since my information was already in the system so it was going to be easy to make a new one so I could finalize my registration... Here comes an interesting part when my new certificate came it said I was born on June 7, 1994.. when in actuality I was born in 1991, I asked my father why is it saying I was born in 1994... He looked at me surprised and told me it's because that's when I was born, I said no dad I was born in 1991, he started laughing and told "are you on drugs or something, I am your father so I Know when you were born"

I swear I couldn't believe it even though I asked for it I was the one who was left surprised

People always love to ask the change of documents... just know If that's what you want your documents will change don't ask how, just know they will change by any means necessary!i The changes can happen naturally just like my school certificate changed on their own, or something will happen that will require the making of new documents with the dates you were affirming”

this one was inspired by someone else who erased a 3p (third party aka someone who interferes in your life” and this 3p was literally her husbands ex wife but she erased them from their reality which meant she shifted to a reality where this person NEVER existed do not ask me about what happens to the old reality stop worrying about it you are the creator what you say fucking goes but anyways:

“So long story short I've been revising to change the past since I saw a comment under Sammy's post, which claims that she erased the 3p like they never even existed in her reality using affirmations. I think well maybe I'll try this shit out with my SP.

The affirmation I used was pretty straightforward:

I am the only person my SP has ever knew online

And guess what happened, after robotically affirming everyday along with some other revision affirmations for some time, my revision has happened. I wavered a lot and the old story kept playing in my mind all the time! But I never gave up, I persisted in my affirmations. My SP got back in contact with me just a few hours ago, when I asked about the 3ps, she said she never knew anyone like those and I'm the only one she has ever knew online.

At this point I was still skeptical about it so I went on Twitter to check about it, to my surprise SP's Twitter account has disappeared into the thin air like she never even on Twitter and all the 3ps' traces are gone too like they never even existed! And SP even confessed her feelings to me saying that she's been wanting me from the moment she saw me (That's my another revision affirmation)

Wow, this revision shit is so powerful, I just get to know loa a couple months back and law of assumption about three or four months and I can still pull this off. I just want to remind y'all we can all make it cuz it's our reality, we literally get to change and delete any shit that doesn't serve us anymore like they never even existed from the first place!”

this is health revision:

“YEAHH! Health revision success story here!

Last week I had my right knee swollen and couldn’t move so that I went to hospital to take a MRI image. The doctor said that there was a tumour in my right knee and in a super deep position, she suggested me to have an operation as soon as possible and gave me cephalosporin for diminishing the inflammation. After I got home, I started repeating affirmations:”My knee works normally, I’m feeling so great, I have never had any health problem.”

Yesterday I took the MRI image for further consultation and turned out that the tumour was GONE and my right knee was fine like nothing happened. The doctor was like:” Your knee is totally fine, why are you here? Maybe inflammation but it’s just fine.”

Revise it if you don’t like the situation! Producing miracles is easy as breathing🪄✨”

and last one, this girl revised being in hospital she shifted from the hospital to her own house:

“I Know I've had my share of big and small manifestations,... But what happened 4 days ago has to be my top tier manifestation, My biggest Manifestation ever! Even as I am writing this, I am shaking! Here we go....

4 days ago I went for a morning walk, on my way back home I was tired and wished someone could offer me a ride to my house, few minutes later a man stopped his bike and offered me a ride and i said sure, as we were about to reach my destination we got into a really bad accident, it was dark really quick and the next thing I know, it's hours later I am in the hospital with a wounded body full of bandages and a fixed broken leg,... I mean now I am so confused, nothing feels right anymore and I started panicking and shouting "this can't be real blah blah blah....." They injected me and I went back to sleep when I work up again, I was about to throw another tantrum but I caught myself and said "Renee(that what I call my Goddess self), You got this, this is just a bad dream, it can't be real how can this be real when you haven't even woken up, you are still home in your bed" I kept telling myself that, with tears in my eyes, deep down I was like I know I can shift realities but can this be possible today... I had doubts but I kept repeating my story to myself till I fall a sleep, I woke up and my mother was there, she was crying 😭💔.. I almost gave up and accept that reality but gathered all my strength and persisted even harder! I went to sleep again and I was awakened by my mom's voice calling me by my name and telling me, "You usually go for a morning walk, why are you asleep till this time"

Now, I think I am loosing my mind like how is it even possible... I asked my mom where are we? She laughed and asked me what do I mean, of course we are home, I asked her surprisingly "not the hospital?" She looked at me confused like "why would we be in the hospital, who is sick?" I hugged her and " No one mom, I just had a nightmare, please just hug me" I am perfectly fine not even a stretch on my body

Happy New Year to me!

Happy New Year to Y'all!”

NOW WAKE TF UP!!

no seriously wake up and fucking learn your own power, absolutely no one can do this except for yourself. stop asking others to shift or manifest for you no one can do this except you! you are the fucking creator of your reality no one else is. YOU ARE A MF GOD!

stop whinging, stop crying, finish your little pity party. you are a god, if you need to cry let those damn emotions out and once you’re done then get your ass back on to affirming.

no more complaining.

no more victim mindset.

if you want something then you need to persist in that assumption that desire is already true, affirm it’s true, visualise its true. this year is yours, you just have to step into your mf power. work on your self concept, affirm you are a master at manifesting, you manifest instantly etc it’s that simple.

stop accepting things you don’t want. you don’t like something that’s happened? revise it. you don’t like this 3p? revise them cos 3p who? 🙄 and no you don’t have to revise they never existed just revise whatever the situation is like they never dated your SP or they were never your friend. whatever you want!! REVISE REVISE REVISE!!!!!!!

ps. stop glorifying the void as the answer to your problems, sure it’s instant but you can also just affirm you manifest instantly you just have to have the concept or belief you manifest instantly and your subconscious will make whatever you manifest instantly happen.

act like a god, be the god you are, claim back your power from the 3d, revise shit you don’t like, work on your self concept. just be the fucking god you are and say this is my reality bitch and make that 3d your fucking bitch💋

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captainreecejames · 11 months ago

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Down Bad || My Ex is a Footballer OP81 Edition

links [masterlist][my ex series masterlist]

summary it's time you date someone actually your age

pairings ex!andy robertson x reader, oscar piastri x reader

warnings not a good relationship with robertson, cursing

notes guys I'm not a liverpool fan so this was hard for me [kidding]. this took so long because I had trouble getting the dynamic right also I got a new job and working two places has not been easy but I gotta make money in this world.

yn's message august 2022 ---------

ynusername posted august 2022 --------

liked by estebanocon, andyrobertson94 and others

ynusername it's race week again yay!!! But I can't be with my boyfriend booooo

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username1 girl drop him!!!

username2 no boooo actually yayyy!!!

username3 shame she can't be with andy for the start of the season ↳ username4 girl be serious, season started almost a month ago and she was at every home game ↳ username5 yn is a diehard liverpool fan don't worry she was supporting her man

andyrobertson94 gonna miss you babe! ↳ ynusername miss you more!

alo_oficial excited !! 🩷

username6 yn I mean this in the nicest way possible, he's too old for you and he's not good

ynusername posted december 2022 -----

liked by oscarpiastri, alpinef1team and others

ynusername 22 season recap! Thank you so much to Alpine for bringing me into the world of f1 and introducing me to some amazing people, I will always be grateful for the chance you took on me and have love in my heart for you! Now on to being at anfield 24/7 to support my man!!!

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username11 ahhhhh oscar!! I' m fine everything is fine

oscarpiastri have a good break yn! ↳ ynusername you too ossie!

username12 ossie??! i'm screaming i love it already. alpine why did you have to break up my bestfriends that i didn't know were best friends?

estebanocon gonna miss having you around yn! ↳ ynusername oh estie! i'll see you around don't worry.

username13 why the fuck is Andy not commenting? ↳ username14 cause he's a little bitch 👍🏼 ↳ username13 oop

alpinef1team we love you yn! ↳ ynusername gonna miss you babe

username15 damn Andy finally got what he wanted and won't even congratulate her on doing this job ↳ username16 I'm new here, what did Andy want? ↳ username15 he has publicly wanted yn to not work and basically be a housewife, also he's like almost 10 years older than her so it's like weird he wants her to be a kept woman

liverpoolfc we're ready for you! ♥️ by ynusername

yn's messages --------

twitter february 2023 --------

ynusername posted august 2023 -----

liked by landonorris, lance_stroll and others

ynusername first half of the season done with my boss featuring ossie when he sees me sneak into the mclaren garage

oscarpiastri that's literally a lie I don't look like that when you come in ↳ ynusername then why do I have a picture of you looking like that??? ↳ landonorris gonna back him up on this one he does NOT look like this when he sees you ↳ username21 WHAT DO YOU KNW LANDO AHARE WITH THE CLASS

username22 guys not to be dramatic but there's been no Liverpool mention in months, I think she broke up with andy ↳ username23 DONR GET ME EXCITED

ynusername posted december 2023 --------

liked by carmenmmundt, georgerussell63 and others

ynusername sad that the season is over but happy I get a short break from being a full time Alonso Wrangler and part time student. Also lance is sad he hasn't been in a season photo dump so here have this

carmenmmundt 🩶🩶

lance_stroll wtf? ↳ ynusername 🫶🏼 ↳ lance_stroll I sent that to mari ↳ ynusername and she sent it to me ↳ mariloublg_ and I'd do it again ↳ lance_stroll DONT GANG UP ON ME

username34 TWO(2) OSCAR PICTURES? we're winning oscaryn truthers ↳ username35 we need him in the first picture now, no swiping is the next goal

username36 wait, yn are you in classes right now? ↳ ynusername I'm taking 2 classes right now remotely for my masters! ↳ username36 OMG you go girl! ↳ ynusername thanks babe

february 2024

landonorris posted on his story

replies to your story

oscarpiastri delete this

landonorris HAHAHAH

alo_oficial working on getting her to realize

landonorris they are both so dumb

mclaren get a picture together

landonorris you got it boss 🫡

username36 IT'S YN RIGHT! TELL ME IT'S YN LN

ynusername posted march 2024

liked by astonmartinf1, oscarpiastri and others

ynusername and we're back!!! Starting off with some helmet swaps and getting papa stroll a debut on the page

landonorris damn papa stroll gets a pic before me?? ↳ lance_stroll it took me a year to get a debut and even then it was a shit one so shut up ↳ georgerussell63 haha you guys suck ↳ ynusername it's cause Carmen bribed me ↳ lance_stroll and mari didn't? ↳ ynusername she did, that picture is what she wanted ↳ landonorris so what youre saying is I need a gf to bribe you ↳ oscarpiastri damn guess youre never getting your debut on this page ↳ landonorris and how the fuck did you get here???

username41 where's that girl that wanted oscar on the first slide? ↳ username35 RIGHT HERE AND I'M THRIVING

lance_stroll also landonorris that's mr. stroll to you ↳ landonorris okay...

ynusername posted july 2024

liked by landonorris, alo_oficial and others

ynusername oscar i don't have the words to describe how proud i am of you right now but just know that I always believed in you and always will

username51 ughhhh, when will it be my turn

username52 OSCAR WIN SO YN POSTS JUST OSCAR YES

username53 username35 aRE YOU OKAY GIRL? ↳ username35 NO I'M NOT

username35 JUST OSCAR IN EVERY PIC??? AND HE'S CLEARLY LOOKING AT YN? IS THIS MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT?

username54 the way oscar was looking for her >>>

alo_oficial congratulations oscar! ↳ oscarpiastri thank you nando

oscarpiastri thank you yn, you're support means everything to me

username55 no offense but I was kinda expecting more from you here ↳ username35 you want her to confess her undying love for oscar here on a social media post? you want her to do it on the internet instead of just to him privately so you can consume media and be in the presence of a relationship that you clearly have no respect for nor no need to be apart of because they don't know you?? that's what you want? be fucking for real ♥️ by mariloublg_ ↳ username55 first of all you also have a parasocial relationship with them, second of all, it's not weird for me to want her to express more about this when his team was shit to him ↳ username35 i can be excited about her posting him and still fucking respect their privacy. they don't need to post anything for us and it is a PRIVILEDGE that we get to see this. if you make it weird for them and ruin their PRIVATE relationship because you personally think she should be more vocal on social media then maybe you need to do some reflection on how you interact with people

ynusername posted august 2024

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and others

ynusername summer break is over, now I go back to being a student

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landonorris yay i can have my osc back ↳ ynusername uhhh... no, you can borrow MY ossie ↳ landonorris agree to disagree ↳ oscarpiastri don't I get a say in this? ↳ ynusername depends ↳ oscarpiastri well i pick you yn ↳ ynusername then yes you get a say

lance_stroll it's about damn time ↳ estebanocon SAYS YOU ↳ alo_oficial none of you have spent as much time with her as I have! I'm the only one that get's to complain ↳ ynusername I was not that bad ↳ alo_oficial yes you were ↳ estebanocon yes you were ↳ lance_stroll yes you were ↳ pierregasly yes you were

oscarpiastri haha babe you have a crush on me? ↳ charles_leclerc you were just as bad ↳ landonorris what he said ↳ oscarpistri damn okay

username35 ahhhh!!! congrats yn and oscar ↳ ynusername thank you! and we both appreciate you being so supportive

username63 see everyone, it pays to be a decent human being! ^^

#oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader #f1 x reader #oscar Piastri x FEM!reader #oscar piastri smau #f1 imagine #my ex is a footballer series #f1 smau #read #danielle writes

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ratatattouille · 8 months ago

Text

Why Arcane's Finale Fumbled Pt. 2

In my last post, I argued that Arcane's second season was artistically beautiful and thematically cheap. I broke down where I believed the writers fumbled with Vi's, Jinx's and Viktor's characters, and how the conflict of season 2 should have centred around a war between Piltover and Zaun rather than Piltover/Zaun against Ambessa and cosmic robots. I asserted the the real let-down of Season 2 had to do with its themes and its refusal to commit to the political story it had set up.

Well, folks, on further examination, it actually looks worse than I thought, and I'm going to use two characters--Silco and Mel--to break down what makes the message of Arcane so hollow and even a little dangerous.

Let's get into it.

Silco: The First Proposition

Silco and Vander:

Silco is a character CENTRAL to the themes of Arcane. The setup of the entire drama of the show, the central theme, are these questions: what is the price of progress and are we willing to pay it? Should we pay that price? Or as Silco says it quite bluntly to the first kid we see him give shimmer to: “Real power belongs to people who are willing to do anything to get it.” This story isn’t merely about ambition, but a dialogue on what actual progress costs and looks like. What does a better world look like? Is the better world we’re fighting for better for us or others? And what (or who) are we willing to sacrifice to achieve that goal? Vander, when faced with that question on the bridge answers, “No dream is worth the loss of those we love.”

The death on the Bridge of Progress during the early war/conflict had too high a cost to Vander. Silco, however, “had enough.” Unlike Vander, what happened on the Bridge of Progress radicalized him. Silco, while being drowned by Vander, realized in that moment that he would do anything, not just to live, but to achieve his dream of a free Zaun. With or without Vander. Even if he had to sacrifice Vander. And we soon see, that while Vander dedicated the rest of his life to keeping the vulnerable in The Lanes safe (even if it meant making deals with enforcers), Silco was willing to throw citizens of The Lanes to the wolves on his way to achieve independence for Zaun. Silco calls it, “The necessary violence for change.” And in this episode (3 of Season 1) Silco sets forth a proposition for the entire show: does the path to a better world require violence?

Silco and Sevika:

Silco’s new approach to crossing the bridge of progress, the path to freedom is winding and twisted. Silco embraces that, because only the goal matters: an independent Zaun. Silco won’t be at the mercy of the Council or anyone in The Lanes, and Sevika is into that shit. We saw that she percieved Vander as weak and servile to enforcers. Who she deems abhorrent without remorse (Vander and Grayson are both despised by Sevika and Marcus because they are percieved as being too lenient with their enemies). Silco, however, has an ACTUAL plan.

He creates a shimmer enterprise because having this control not only gives him a monopoly on The Lanes (and the gangs within), but leverage when it comes to manipulating the Council. Violence and the threat of war are the official languages of both Zaun and Piltover. It is how anyone bothers to listen to Silco both in The Lanes and within the Council. We know that the rich Piltovians (like those IRL) only speak money. “Progress” to them is prosperity and legacy (and I’ll get more into that later).

By creating the shimmer enterprise, Silco not only gets his foot in the door, monopoly over the other gangs and factions (thus uniting them), but a metaphorical seat at the table. His name has weight now, which positions him to make demands of Piltover and give Zaun a thriving industry (at least when it comes to money). Especially because (as we see with Salo and Lest) shimmer is also used by the elites. Silco is a brilliant tactician who exploits the hubris of Piltovians (like Marcus, who wanted to be in charge so he can neuter Zaunites indiscriminately), and manipulates them to his own advantage (much like Mel). But when Renni’s son is killed in the mines, Silco’s proposition is confronted once again: isn’t it easy to justify necessary violence when no one you love is the collateral?

Silco doesn’t care about Renni’s son, doesn’t see himself as remotely near Renni’s position. When Twitch calls Jinx his “dog” (something Sevika herself wanted to do lmao), Silco gets twitchy. He doesn’t recognize any similarity between his relationship with Jinx and Renni and her son. Jinx is not someone he would ever consider as up for debate. Which was the point of tension between him and Sevika (a Sevika who’s loyalty he KNEW he needed in order to keep control, especially in the wake of Jinx’s volatility and unpopularity). Nevertheless, Sevika doesn’t betray him in that moment, because she still sees Silco as stronger (even though she believes Jinx is a weakness he needs to get rid of). As with Vander, Sevika views affection for their own at the cost of freedom as weakness.

Yet, funnily enough, she is fiercely loyal. She, like Jinx, is Silco’s “dog.” She shares his weakness, the weakness that makes her zealous for a better world in the first place. But what Twitch and Renni pose to both Silco and Sevika is the unsettling question of: are you really willing to go far enough? Or do you still see yourself as an exception? Regardless, when it comes to Silco’s proposition, Silco WAS SUCCESSFUL (and also accurate in his deductions on what would get both cities to respect him and eventaully give him what he wanted - Zaun). His determination and focus paid off, indeed, it’s hard to see how he could have been successful without the “necessary violence”. It is clear that he wouldn’t have. No shimmer, no independence. Silco, for all his gruesome methods, WAS RIGHT. Except . . .

Silco and Marcus:

By exploiting and manipulating the vulnerable of The Lanes, Silco also ensured he would suffer the same fate as Marcus. Unlike Silco, Marcus did horrible things to protect his daughter. Marcus, at first, had started out as a zealous enforcer, eager to clean out the rats of The Lanes. Although he didn’t plan for Grayson to be killed, he was willing to get rid of her in order to ensure that he would get into a position that allowed him to do what he wanted to do: exterminate rats and be the hero of Piltover.

Silco offers him bodies for Stillwater in exchange for ease of shimmer distribution. Silco is willing to sacrifice his own people, the people Zaun is ironically for, in order to gain influence in Piltover. Silco, however, did the opposite. Because he loved Jinx, he recognized her deepest insecurity and sought to assuage it (inadvertently weaponizing it against her and those who loved her). He let Jinx get close and gave her responsibility so she could feel like she belonged (he let her drug his eye, a delicate process, while she was still thought of as reckless and untrustworthy). He brought her deeper into the heart of the violence and taught her to embrace it. He made her a child prodigy of warfare.

He takes a different approach to Vander (who kept telling the kids to stay out of trouble where they could and used himself as a buffer). So was Silco wrong? Was Vander? The answer was, quite poetically and profoundly, their deaths and the resulting silence. Both died, more or less, at the hands of their daughters. This is something overlooked often by fandom. It was Vi’s choice to lead her brothers and sister into Jayce’s apartment that would eventually bring the enforcers down to The Lanes, sparking the chain of events that would lead to Vander’s death (or had things gone “well,” his arrest). Vi is also how Powder got the arcane stones in the first place. Vi’s encouragement (well-meaning and innocent as it was) played a hand in the disaster that followed.

But the fact that both Vander and Silco die regardless, paints an excellent portrait of the constraints of oppression. Both tried different methods when it came to rearing their daughters. Both methods got them killed and thrust their children into peril. Vander could only have shielded Vi for so long, and Jinx could only have taken so much so young before she broke down completely. The fate of the girls is not merely their fathers’ fault, nor their sister’s. The tragedies of their lives happen due to the simple fact that they were born in The Lanes. No choice, on either Vander’s, Silco’s, Powder’s or Vi’s mattered in the end.

They were always playing a losing game, which is what makes it so fucking INFURIATING when S2 comes along and suggests that “ACKTUALLY the reason everyone’s happy in Ekko’s AU is because Vi died/hextech was no more/Silco and Vander made up).” All of those were symptoms of the bigger issue, not the issue itself. And that is the horrible irony of Silco’s story. He WAS right. But his folly was viewing himself and those he loved as exceptions to the rule. For when Zaun demands the final price, when Jayce asks for Jinx in exchange for his dream being realized, he isn’t willing to pay anymore.

Marcus only crossed the bridge of progress into Zaun for the sake of his daughter (as is shown in a chilling scene where he finds Silco playing with her in her room). Likewise, when Silco FINALLY finishes, after all those years, his march on The Bridge of Progress, like Marcus, he dies in a swarm of bullets. But unlike Marcus, he is afforded time to tell his daughter, “I wouldn’t have given you to them. Not for the world.” Not for his dream. So what did Season 2 do with that?

Summary of Fumblings:

-I’ll tell you what Season 2 did. Season 2 took the biggest shit on one of the most fascinating characters in animated history. The reason I didn’t put that much critique up there was to show you how complex, layered, deep and thoughtful Season 1 was with Silco’s character. Silco in S2 became a cheap gimmick flung in our faces like the marketing team was trying to sell Silco plushies following the release. His back-story in Season 2 clashes horribly with Season 1. If Vander, Silco and Felicia were such chums back then, why did neither Silco nor Vi recognize each other when they met in Season 1? They were quite grown by the time the March on The Bridge of Progress happened. Honestly, there’s too many mistakes and inconsistencies with how Season 2 handles the backstory I don’t even see a point in getting to it

-(excerpt from one of the writers) I can't BELIEVE MY FUCKING EYES! Silco’s respect for Vander, despite the fact that Vander tried to drown him (most likely after the carnage on the Bridge of Progress where Vander realized the cost of war), was that Vander remained dedicated to Zaun’s independence, at least, until he began prioritizing the safety of the children over Zaun’s freedom. Silco’s respect for Vander had never been a goal or motivation. Silco never expressed any desire to be respected by Vander. He merely expressed respect, ONLY because Vander, up until he became the enforcer’s “lapdog,” shared his pursuit of a free Zaun. Silco killed Vander for the same reason Vander tried to drown Silco: they had become a threat to what they held dear - Silco, his pursuit of Zaun, and Vander the safety of his adopted children.

-”We build our own prisons. Bars forged of oaths, codes, commitments.” This conversation is SO FUCKING—rips into mattress and pulls out stuffing Jinx hallucinates Silco from within the cell she’s in at Stillwater, maybe the same one Vi had been in. Silco starts off saying something like “It’s funny how Marcus thought putting Vi in this cell was a greater mercy than killing her,” cluing us in to not just Jinx’s mental state but the very real torment it must have been for Vi as a child as well. SO JUST TO RECAP, WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE PRISON OF THE CYCLE OF KILLING AND VIOLENCE, OKAY. In addition to that already horrible quote above, Silco says, “. . . and it will continue, long after the two of you.” So, folks, IN CONCLUSION, this cycle of violence (which I have already established like a fucking broken record is EXPLICITLY started and perpetuated by Piltover) is eternal and inevitable. Just let that fucking sink in. Let it settle nice and sour in your gut and then tell me how that GERD feels. Not only is that an appalling thing to suggest about any oppressive regime, it’s also untrue. Yes, humanity has not gone a decade without some form of conflict and struggle, but individual societies have been PROVABLY capable of both progress and regress. Both of which require the agency and active participation of others. And Arcane seems to want to show that progress is indeed possible, but it has already declared it, to some extent, a pointless pursuit in this conversation. Which is it, Arcane S2 writers? Is progress worth striving for, or is it pointless? “Oh my god, you’re so dumb ratatatouille!” you say. “Of course they answered the former! Duh! In Ekko’s monologue when Jinx is trying to kill herself, he tells Jinx that someone special once told him that no matter what happened in the past, it’s never too late to build something new - someone worth building it for.” GREAT! DELICIOUS, EVEN! Now why is it that Ekko says this instead of Silco? Why isn’t this something Silco would say, given that this was the entire point of his and Vander’s story? That this is what his arc embodied and explored? “You’re so silly! Obviously Silco is a hallucination!” The show explicitly frames Silco as RIGHT and tries to tie in what Silco says with what Ekko says. More sympathetic viewers will say that since Ekko discovered that Jinx was never the problem, that hextech was, and that Jinx was actually the path towards progress - a path Silco had walked so she could run - Ekko approached her as someone he could finally save (and oh boy am I going to get into why that doesn’t work AT ALL later). Is is not Jinx, but the hextech, the ARCANE, that is dangerous. The hextech is the true jinx. It is what will keep the cycle going. That’s why Silco holds the arcane stone near his eye like that in the scene.

And to that I say . . . WELL THAT’S FUCKING STUPID. I don’t care that “Arcane” is the title of the show. It is the cheapest story gimmick I have seen since vibranium, except vibranium REMAINED a plot device and didn’t usurp the theme or political/interpersonal conflicts in Black Panther. Hextech was a PLOT DEVICE meant to be used to explore the themes which became the ENDPOINT. And this story SUFFERS SO MUCH from that simple change. This is why most critics of season 2 say the story should have remained focused on the interpersonal and political reasons characters did what they did, rather than siphoning all their stories into a mission to stop the evil, mystical stones. It is a fucking stupid distraction in S2, where in S1 it had been a beautiful metaphor, a fragment of a mirror that the characters held up to examine their faces.

But by claiming the cycle was the hextech all along, you just shat on everything that made S1 good.

Which brings me back to what Ekko tells Jinx, that she can still build a better world for the people she loves (like Vi, I guess). That’s why she comes back to help her sister. She cuts her hair (a symbol of letting go of the past) and joins Vi to defeat Ambessa and evil Viktor. This is treated as some kind of continuation (or the true point) of Silco’s “ending the cycle” speech. By letting go of Vi (literally) and Silco (also literally), she can finally . . . er . . . stop “running in circles.” So the show tells us she is BOTH supposed to fight one more time to achieve an autonomous Zaun AND fuck off to a new land to escape said cycle—which, what was the POINT of fighting if she still had to “escape” it in the end anyways?

NO S2 HALLUCINATION SILCO, JINX AND VI DID NOT BUILD THEIR OWN PRISONS. THEY SURVIVED THE CAGES THEY WERE PUT IN AS CHILDREN AND THEY DESERVED BETTER THAN THAT GODAWFUL DUMBASS SPEECH.

Do you see why this writing is so horrible? It contradicts itself so many fucking times, no matter how you splice it. Whether it’s about the cycle of violence being the fault of unforgiveness or hextech. None of it makes any sense because none of it was ever established in season 1 as being the cause for any of those things. And by even SUGGESTING that either or both of those could be the cause, the writers send us two very troubling messages: oppression is inevitable and also, somehow, the fault (rather than responsibility) of the oppressed. Actually no, I think the suggestion from the writers is even stupider: oppression is an option and you can opt in or out.

And that is the ultimate insult to Silco’s character and what he did for the story of the show.

Mel: The Counterpoint

Mel and Jayce:

Mel is Silco’s thematic counterpoint. In the story, Silco proposes that progress costs some “necessary violence.” Mel is faced with this same question as a child, when Ambessa presents her with the last remaining heir of a nation Noxus had conquered. Ambessa asks young Mel if they should kill or spare the girl. “Kino says war is a failure of statecraft,” Mel had said, when her mother told her about how her father had made her retrieve knives on the battlefield at ten so she’d know death. War, Mel is sure, is REGRESS not PROGRESS. It is the breaking down of the state, not the making of one. It’s obvious to Mel that sparing this girl, who looks about her age, is the progressive, less barbaric thing to do. Yet Ambessa insists, “Your brother thinks he can talk his way out of anything,” Likening him to being a fox among wolves when a good ruler needs to be both. To which Mel goes on to describe the kind of ruler the new conquered kingdom will need. A woman “with a kind, fat face to charm her subjects”, but moldable, to which Ambesaa basically says “So basically you? Cool. I’m down, but you have to prove yourself to me. Prove you can take it.” This is when Mel is presented with the ultimatum: choose to spare the girl or kill her. “We can show the people we are merciful,” she pleads on behalf of the girl. But Ambessa is firm. If Mel kills her now (a symbol of the old “regime”), she won’t (maybe) have to deal with any uprisings and kill thousands.

But Mel doesn’t swallow this poison, insists that diplomacy is the superior way, and is banished to Piltover, where she undertakes the task of proving herself. She tries to become the fox. She uses her kind, fat face to charm the Councilors of Piltover and utilizes Jayce to use hextech for Piltover so that her work in the city becomes impressive, cements her legacy as a Medarda, validates her as one of them, and ALSO proves her mother wrong, thus liberating herself from her mother’s cycle of violence and re-instating her rightful station as a worthy member of the Medarda clan.

But it’s not JUST that, though. Jayce’s enthusiasm to improve the world with hextech inspires Mel and validates what she felt so strongly as a child that Ambessa staunchly denied. When Jayce shares his dream with her, she goes all soft and says, “We’re (the Medarda’s) not often in the position to give back.” Which is . . . funny, lol. I think she was talking about herself rather than her entire family. Anyway, to Jayce, Mel was the one who gave him a second chance. He and Viktor wouldn’t have gone anywhere without her help. Jayce is likely the first person she’s felt capable of helping (especially outside Ambessa’s shadow), and likewise, Mel makes Jayce feel indominable (remember: “Nothing feels impossible when I’m with you”). Jayce makes her feel good about herself, hopeful that her ways can work. After all, being the fox has worked for Jayce and Piltover.

But Mel isn’t just the fox, and not for the reasons S2 thinks. Why? LONG before Ambessa sets foot in Piltover, Mel receives a letter from a correspondent overseas. She despairs that Jayce is not ready to be the success she needs him to be. Even after he confides in her about Viktor’s illness, to her it is not a personal loss. Like no matter what the meljayvik or melvik shippers say, Viktor and Mel DID NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT EACH OTHER OUTSIDE OF JAYCE. Jayce wants to uphold his promise in helping Viktor, the man who saved him from his own death (AND TRUST ME, WE’LL GET TO THAT) but Mel wants Jayce focused on keeping her investment and legacy IN PILTOVER safe from Ambessa.

So what does homegirl do? She manipulates Jayce into creating hextech weapons. The reason she moves for a vote to make Jayce a councilor on Progress Day is in light of Jinx’s attack. The councilors are worried that someone in the undercity got their hands on hextech and can use it against them. Jayce, feeling responsible for the situation (and that probably having something to do with Caitlyn nearly dying in the attack), proposes to pause all hextech developments until the threat is neutralized. Instantly, we see Viktor’s and Mel’s reactions—panic. Both are running out of time. Mel to make Piltover a success (in that it is able to defend itself from Ambessa), and Viktor to help those dying in The Lanes. So Mel proposes Jayce become a councilor instead.

We next see her examining Jinx’s bomb with Viktor and Jayce. Jayce asks Viktor if it’s possible that Jinx could create something resembling hextech. Viktor, who is busy marvelling at Jinx’s ingenuity and feeling a little proud of his people, says very confidently that “It’s a leap.” Meaning it’s far away from what Jayce and him are developing. But Mel needs SOMETHING to intimidate Ambessa. That, or she recognizes the undercity as a real threat to her dream of progress and prosperity. Legacy. The undercity is ugly and she wants to neutralize it before she loses her chance. Regardless, here, we see her make the choice to be the wolf. The relentless and unmerciful. Focused and driven by her ambition. She will be a Medarda, unlike last time. Armed and prepared. When Jayce asks if she knows for certain that Zaun intends to turn the gemstones into weapons, Mel says, “That doesn’t matter. We’ll assume,” which pisses Viktor off. But then she performs the ultimate manipulation on Jayce. She uses Jayce’s care for the Kirammans and Piltover to convince him that it’s necessary to “protect your people” which, Viktor can tell, does not extend to the people of the undercity.

Once again, Mel is demonstrating that she doesn’t see Zaunites as people. She barely acknowledges Viktor when he protests, saying “That’s not what we invented hextech for!” She merely looks at him, then looks back at Jayce and talks to Jayce. She repeatedly ignores Viktor, talks over him, as if he isn’t there. Doesn’t matter. After all, Jayce is the only one in Piltover worth her time. Piltover is her project, not the dirty undercity. Mel had already sown the seed for Jayce’s rampage by the time Ambessa showed up.

“Stay away from Jayce!” she says, and yet Mel is what brought Ambessa close to Jayce both physically and ideologically. For hextech and Piltover (the City of Progress) to be safe, Jayce has to commit some “necessary violence for change.”

This isn’t only Ambessa’s fault, but Mel’s and Jayce’s errors as leaders. By neglecting the undercity, Jayce fails to see how his innovations could be weapons until it's too late. Mel is also so focused on Ambessa as a threat that she neglects the threat of the undercity, a place that only became a threat because of YEARS of failed state-craft.

Jayce acquiesces to Ambessa's rhetoric since the attack at the bridge, and proposes to the other council members to go into The Lanes with force, which they are all (including Mel) hesitant to do. But then Jayce goes ahead anyways, and kills a kid (which we’ll come back to), and he not only regrets it, but does a 180 and returns, like Mel, back to his core values — peace and progress over prosperity or legacy. He makes a deal with Silco and then goes and tells the Council what’s up. Mel, now utterly convinced of her position, is the first to cast her vote in favor of an independent Zaun, and removes the Medarda ring while she does so, signalling her disdain for all the clan represents. Not only that, but she smears gold over the Noxian ships in her painting, which her mother correctly reads as a rejection of Noxus and an embrace of the Piltover her and Jayce want to build. Mel does not anticipate the attack, and Mel, in the last frame of the finale of Season 1, is the first target of Jinx’s bomb, the first councilor it was going to hit while her back was turned to it.

Mel and Viktor:

Mel’s parallel with Viktor is interesting. Mel’s interest in hextech (and initially Jayce) are to her own ends, later becoming altruistic (Viktor’s interest in Jayce also starts as an interest in his theories although his motivations were altruistic from the start). Jayce reminded her what she wanted to be in the first place. That her family name, like Jayce’s was to his, was a ball and chain around her neck. Holding her back from true progress. From a better world. A better legacy. Viktor comes from nowhere-land. Viktor doesn’t have a family legacy to inherit. Viktor is a Zaunite. And soon, much like Viktor, Mel is going to have to work hard to create her own legacy. Both Viktor and Mel are sort of outsiders in Piltover. As is shown in S2 with Salo, Piltover, the Fake City of Progress, has no accommodations for the disabled, which makes Viktor stand out like a sore thumb (also, Viktor is the one who made his own leg brace). Mel is a foreigner who has to make a name for herself before she can latch onto the Medarda title. Viktor wants the city to be good, while Mel wants the city (and herself) to look good by matching the strength and prosperity of Noxus.

This is why Viktor gets so sassy with her lmao. He sees through her manipulations and notices that she is pulling Jayce away from what they’d set out to do together (he is also annoyed at how easy it is for Jayce to forget). Mel is the one who tells Jayce it would be wiser to let the council members get away with their criminality (all while cracking down on The Lanes), which makes them wealthier, something that pushes Jayce deeper into his own prejudices against Zaun, where he starts seeing himself as primarily a caretaker of Piltover rather than hextech, as a councilor rather than a scientist, and it jeopardizes his relationship with Viktor.

But Jayce helped her re-connect with the values all three of them shared deep down. The desire to help people and make the world a better place. After the bridge massacre, Mel wants to put her charm and diplomacy to good use, and she does so in the Council Room when she votes for Zaun’s independence.

But here’s where the FUMBLE happens. In S2, we see that Mel’s magic seems to have shielded Jayce and herself, but not Viktor. Not only that, but it’s hinted that Viktor’s magic is resistant to her touch. We don’t get any answer as to why that is (although I’d like to think that was Viktor being petty even while unconscious). This is especially weird since the arcane is alluded to be where the mages get their power (and isn’t it convenient that Viktor became a mindless war machine controlled by the corrupted/corrupting arcane instead of a mage when we see that in other universes he is indeed a mage already?). Not only that, but Viktor can clearly “touch” her magic through the puppet, later on.

Jayce keeps asking her why he was spared and Viktor wasn’t, and Mel, once again, cannot answer him. She knows that her magic protected her and Jayce, but once again, Jayce is lowkey asking why all these horrible things keep happening to Viktor instead of him. Why he is spared instead of Viktor. Unlike Mel, I have an answer. The answer IS PRIVILEGE JAYCE NOT THE FUCKING ARCANE AND THE MYSTICAL NATURE OF MAGIC OR SOME UNKNOWN FORCE OF FATE. Viktor’s tragedy was something that could be helped by both hextech and just Piltover not being a bunch of fucking asswipes. Viktor’s “bad luck” was actually just piss poor governance, or as Kino would say, “a failure of statecraft.” When Mel forsook her original ideals in order to pursue her mother’s acceptance and her family legacy, she did what all the other council members did: make themselves comfortable in places of power at the expense of the oppressed. In order for her to reclaim herself, she had to abandon Noxus and her dream of returning or belonging to the Medarda Clan. Mel has to choose between her family’s legacy and her own longing for progress and dedication to mercy over violence.

Mel and Ambessa:

While Jayce has to fight Victor (who is really now reduced to just another weapon Jayce created that’s gotten into the wrong hands - and more on THAT later), Mel’s task is facing down her mother. By removing the context of oppressed/oppressor inherent to the Piltover/Zaun dynamic, we fail to explore S1’s setup for Mel. IT SHOULD BE NOTED that the reason diplomacy worked for Mel and not Silco was because of their differences in power. When Viktor tells Jayce “There is always a choice” after Jayce expresses his doubts regarding what Mel said about the Zaunites making hextech, Viktor was talking about Jayce’s choice. Mel’s choice. Mel could have chosen to be diplomatic, even with the threat of Jinx. But instead she forsook her ideals in pursuit of her desire to become a Medarda and, like her mother in her dream, preferred to eliminate the threat rather than integrate (Zaun). Even if she back-tracked by the time her mom came back.

Mel has to face the fact that, like Jayce, she betrayed her values and initiated something horrible: the war she’d always dreaded and despised. Mel is why Ambessa heard of the weapons in the first place. But S2 doesn’t focus on this at all. It barely acknowledges it. Instead, Mel is sucked into the Black Rose and told she’s a mage and that her mother must die for the sake of nameless nations the Black Rose mentions. You see, Ambessa is a scapegoat. An excuse to halt and dissolve any meaningful discussion on Piltover’s (and Mel’s) hand in the plight of The Lanes.

By making Ambessa the big bad, the council members and other Piltovians complicit in Zaun’s desperation get a free pass. Both in the show and by fandom. In fact, Mel can now be regarded as a hero (one of the GOATs of Arcane, if I recall) for killing Ambessa, then being christened the wolf by her mother. We don’t have to reckon with the fact that for most of the time she ignored Zaun, and that when Zaun got her attention, her first instinct was to weaponize Piltover, saying, “The peace was already broken.” And I’m pretty sure the reason she did this was LARGELY for ambition, because not more than an episode later, she’s backtracking, insisting that Jayce doesn’t know war like she does, that they should simply give Silco what he wants.

So Viktor was right. She wasn’t forced to create hextech weapons. She wanted to do it for her own gain. And Jayce rightfully gets mad at her in S2 when he recognizes her manipulations (even if he himself was complicit). He does, however tell her that “No one can control you and you’ll never be a passenger.” Once again affirming her incredible power—only this time, the focus is magic and not her political prowess. AND ISN’T IT CONVENIENT THAT MEL “DOESN’T UNDERSTAND” HER EMPATHIC POWERS SO SHE CAN BE TECHNICALLY EXCUSED FROM HER DECISIONS IN S1? HOW COOL IS THAT?!

Lmao when Mel starts lecturing her mother in the finale with “Mother, look at the price of your ambition,” it’s like . . . okay? You exacerbated this war long before your mother, girl. You were the one on the council for YEARS before she arrived. Mel, like Caitlyn, gets to play saviour while barely taking any credit for the fact that she was largely responsible for where Zaun and Piltover ended up (sis literally determined council votes singlehandedly). When Mel stands on the other side of the Bridge of Progress, she sees a trail of violence. She decides to cling even more firmly to her core values. Silco was right, but so was Mel. You see, diplomacy wouldn't have worked for Silco, but it could work for Mel, because Mel had power.

Summary of Fumblings:

-And what was that, “(Piltover is) the city I built for my family” BS? By the end of S1, it is clear that Mel wants NOTHING to do with being a Medarda anymore. She wants to keep Noxus and Piltover SEPARATE. So why does she tell her mother, “You will never be a Medarda” as some kind of gotcha? Lmao, like why tf does that matter? How would she know? Why would she care? Other than her and Kino, what other benevolent Medardas are out there that makes her say this?

-The Black Rose warns Mel of Ambessa’s “thirst for legacy” (much like Mel’s) leading to a worldwide calamity. Mel wants to imagine that her mother prizes her own children over her pride, but the Black Rose insists that’s not true. That Ambessa is willing to sacrifice her children for more power and legacy. We do understand, however, that when Ambessa is confronted by the Black Rose, she is resorting to hextech so she can avoid using Mel (”she’s safer as our enemy”). AND THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE IF THE THIRD ACT ACTUALLY ACTED LIKE IT. How is Mel going to be this really great weapon that Ambessa doesn’t want to use because she loves her (which like, why didn’t she love Kino then if it wasn’t about magic?), but also simultaneously SENT AWAY TO A DISTANT LAND OUT OF HER WATCH? So now she’s hiding Mel, but she wants to pursue the arcane that is waking her mage-ness up and making it impossible for Mel to hide? Ambessa was literally there in the council room in the aftermath of the explosion. She knew Mel had used magic to protect herself and Jayce, but she didn’t do anything? Say anything?

Now most of this is clearly setting up another story in Runeterra (which means my criticism will ultimately be left to conjecture), so I’m going to focus instead on her last words to Mel: “You are the wolf.” The wolf being a symbol (at least in callback to season 1) of ruthlessness and fearlessness: the opposite of mercy. Why does her mother say this? Because Mel finally made a kill? Or because she killed to protect what she built? Finally embraced her power? Yeah, let’s go with that last one. Mel’s development in S2 becomes one where we focus on the power she’s always had, both magical and influential. Yet the show focuses more on the cool magic part than the rammys of Mel’s decisions in S1. It ignores her political power and frontlines her magical abilities, even making her political prowess partly due to her magical empath powers . . . like . . .

-Mel had dislodged her legacy from the Medardas by the time S2 rolls around. . . except no she hasn’t. In the end, Mel is sailing back on the Noxian ships she painted over, and she is doing so as the new Warlord (even wearing what looks like her mother’s cape) because she is the badass wolf, the leader that her mom wasn’t. And how did she achieve that power? Magic. Why does she want to go back? To reform the Medarda name? To take on the mission her mother couldn’t finish against The Deceiver? Because Jayce is dead? Who even cares at this point, this is mainly happening for the spinoff. It isn’t illogical, it’s just the least interesting approach to her character. Mel had much more agency in S1, and her political prowess made her formidable. But that doesn’t matter anymore.

-Her whole arc in S1 was all about her finding the courage to leave the Medarda name behind in pursuit of true progress, but then she kills her mother and sails away from Piltover, the city she fought to protect and killed her mother for and is all about probably reforming the Medarda name—and that’s her job done? Is it me, or is that a reversal of her—pardon the pun—progress? Also, she grew up in Piltover, it must be more of her home than Noxus ever was. Not only that, but making Ambessa go from an imperialist tyrant to this woman bravely fighting against a larger, more powerful threat cheapens what Noxus represented for me. Sometimes conquerors do be conquering, and they make threats up to justify their greed. Not the other way around. It’s not too egregious, but it would’ve been nice if the Black Rose had been more of an epilogue thing.

-sigh I know I’ve said it before but it’s because it’s true . . . the conflict should have remained between Zaun and Piltover and Ambessa was a cheap way out of what S1 was building up

-Ambessa was not who Mel needed to physically defeat, but someone she needed to ideologically defeat. And we don’t see any of that. By the time Ambessa calls Mel “the wolf” it’s hollow, because it’s about Mel being a more powerful combatant than a wise ruler. In this moment, her “foxness” is about how she figured out the “deception” of the Black Rose and not how she outmaneuvered her mother politically. Perhaps it would be epic if we knew what the fuck she meant by “I see your face deceiver!” and then super sayan-ing out of nowhere. Her not having mercy on her mother is about being a Medarda, a question that wasn’t the focus of season 1, merely a catalyst. Becoming a Medarda was the goal Mel had, not the need. She needed to learn how to rule. Instead, she learns how to kill. And then she’s off to her home in Noxus as more of a soldier and spy than a queen.

Which likely means two things:

-S2 got bored of Mel and just gave her cool reflective powers to make up for it. Making every interesting development about her character happen off-screen, in the writers room, or on another show.

-S2 was deliberately trying to communicate that it sided with Ambessa. That violence and combat, war, is not merely a failure of state craft, but necessary or inevitable to political growth. That militarism is the only thing that can answer militarism. That the only way to ensure the progress you make is secure is arming yourself. Even though this topic has some grey areas, Arcane explicitly picks a side by narratively using Ambessa to justify Piltover’s weaponization of hextech.

i know fandom has a lot to say about Mel being a “strong-black woman” character, but as a black woman myself, I hated how they stripped her of what made her such a strong, enigmatic presence in S1. Her prowess, her wit and cleverness. Her sheer intellectual power made her so FORMIDABLE.

She’s just a lost, hurt uwu little puppy for most of S2 before she’s given her US government assigned Avengers superhero uniform.

Mel in Act I was already using Lest to spy and we almost got a good story then—POOF!—Black Rose.

-Mel’s contribution to the development of hex-tech every step of the way is completely ignored. Instead Viktor and Jayce take full responsibility.

Conclusion:

Mel and Silco's arcs both ask: is violence necessary for progress? Both answer yes, but Mel's remains a little unsatisfactory. Because Mel had a choice. She had power. Power that Silco was willing to do (almost) anything to get. Both Mel and Silco's presence in S1 were formidable, and what made them so intriguing was there thorough understanding of people, both the good and the bad. But in S2, at least for Mel, what made her such an agentive character is thrust aside for spinoff hype. It's not that it isn't cool, it is. It's just one of the things that made S2 feel not only chunky, but disconnected from the roots of its story in S1. Both Silco's and Mel's characters in S2 reveal a very poor (or troubling) view of oppression, power dynamics and politics.

Anyway, that's just me. I was gonna do Ekko, Caitlyn and Jayce as well, but this post got too lengthy. I'll probably need to whittle it all down later. I've already cut so much.

#arcane #arcane season 2 #arcane critical #mel medarda #jayce talis #jayce arcane #viktor arcane #mel arcane

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discoreptile · 1 year ago

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youtube

Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!

#soundtrack #music #indiegamedev #Youtube #beasties of greenhollow #indiegame #chiptune #elphame #hey again gang. Another scream into the void #Things have been getting more interesting tbh #I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao #I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed #we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love #For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha #work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue #I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over #Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha #Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.

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no1blacksapphirefan · 4 months ago

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Hi, really loved your self-aware crk posts and found myself rereading every single one you got (its just so peak!! 🫠)

But imagine somehow managed to get out of the game and into the real world by some mysterious means and seeing the one they perceived the be “god” no longer through a screen, especially gingerbrave and gang + pure vanilla and white lily and deceitful trio

(Would they take human forms or just stay in cookie form in smaller scale?)

Thank you so much omgg? Very sweet of you <33

Ofc Gingerbrave + his gang will be purely platonic as they're kids

You're a parent now to 3 kids/j

I'm not too sure about Candy Apples age so hers is also platonic just encase

I decided to make them have a human form for this but if anyone wants to hear what I think will happen if they stayed in cookie form feel free to tell me or send an ask when it’s opened again 🙂‍↕️

✦ Small Info: In my version of the Self-Aware AU, GingerBrave and his gang see you as bascially a parental figure, you've been with them through all their stories and intentionally or not you probably have them 5A. Most canon minor characters see you as something similar.

Gingerbrave omgongomg?? He didn’t think it was possible. Shadow Milk actually figured it out?? As he stands up from the ground he was sitting on and looks at you amazed, he quickly runs up and hugs you, despite your horrified expression. He tried to calm you down and explain the best he could while trying to contain his excitement from meeting you. But well, he isn't exactly successful.

His attempts don't help, he realises he’s just freaking you out more as you look at the others with him, oh yeah his friends came as well!!

He tries to give you space but oh he's still so amazed to be meeting the person who has joined him on so many of his adventures. Plus you ascended him to 5A right? That's good right?? (Don't tell him it's because he's a common, he hasn't found out yet)

Strawberry she quickly apologies for GingerBrave, she isn’t sure what to do at first…this is her God, someone she thought she’d never meet but…wow you’re here now…and she has the same form as you…by that she means she’s not a cookie. She takes a look at mirror if it’s nearby and silently looks at herself before quietly walking up to you.

She isn’t sure on what to say, she doesn’t want to freak you out more as your eyes dart to every new addition to your room. She silently tries to offer you a lollipop, hoping it’ll cheer you up and when you do accept it she’s so happy. She is a bit scared of the new environment, especially as it is technically completely new but…you’ll help her right?

She doesn't want to be a bother but if you could help her explore your world more she'll be so happy, just one trip. Even if it's just too a shop, she just wants to hang out with her God and see their world.

Wizard he wants to go back. Well okay he’s 50/50. He’d love to stay with you and learn more about you and well…help calm you down now that there was like 8 other cookies…humans? In your room right now on the other…he isn’t sure how it’ll be back at home…well he can stay for a bit longer, it won’t be everyday you get to meet your god and have a new form.

He pulls GingerBrave off you so you could get a bit more breathing space and oh how he wants to ask a few questions about your world and you and the game and— right…he should wait until you’re more calm and settled first. He quickly apologies for the questions he accidentally blurted out.

Pure Vanilla is probably the one who successfully calms you down. He gently explains what happened, Shadow Milk (who I can see is so giddy about his new form) had wanted to come see you for so long but as he finally figured it out, he and a few others got caught in the transportation. He helps you up and offers to clean up the mess they made which, well not even offer, he starts to clean up anyways, it’s the most he could do after they came uninvited.

Deep down he’s so nervous, oh my, oh my god. He’s actually here with his “God” the one who he cared for, for so long ever since he became aware. His heart skips so many beats as he thinks about it, oh and you’re so pretty in person. He wishes he could see it everyday…well…maybe now he can, if this is permanent…you don’t mind right?

He doesn’t mind cooking and taking care of you if it means being able to stay with you.

White Lily she almost instantly apologises. Not even knowing where she was until she looked up and saw you, with such a scared expression. She didn’t do anything for a bit, letting GingerBrave and his friends talk and/or explore your room. Not speaking as Pure Vanilla calms you down.

This feels like an invasion of privacy, no it IS. An invasion of privacy, oh god she feels like she’s the worst, well it’s not her fault but-

“White Lily?”

Your voice snaps her out of her thoughts as she looks at you, quietly nodding with a smile. She’s just nervous…maybe a bit scared as well as you do hold so much power when they were in the game.

But seeing you so gently ask if she’s okay despite the fact they were technically intruding on your personal space? Made her feel a bit better, and when you offered to take her out to your garden to better calm down? Who’s she to turn down her beloved Gods suggestion.

Candy Apple when she sees you and White Lily leaving after saying you’ll be in the garden, she quickly follows, leaving a giddy Shadow Milk looking in a mirror and a wandering Black Sapphire. Now whether or not she’s making White Lily uncomfortable with her tailing, not even tailing she made it obvious: she doesn’t actually care if she is, plus she wants to meet the God herself. Not only is her master Shadow Milk cookie so interested in you, so is her co-worker and she won’t lie. She’s also so interested in you.

She tries to talk to you, interrupting White Lily. Only stopping if you gently ask her too or promise you’ll have a chat with her in a bit. She’ll be sulking but if you go back to her after talking to White Lily as you promised, she’ll feel all better again.

She may bombard you with questions about your world and new things she wants to know about the game. Essentially doing what Wizard cookie accidentally did but she’s not leaving room for you to reply, she’s just making sure you have ample things to talk to her about.

She loves hearing you rant.

Black Sapphire oh? Not a bad style at all, he quite likes his new form. He knew helping Shadow Milk with creating an escape would be worthwhile. Only problem is now there’s a few pesky cookies with you as well.

He doesn’t follow you and White Lily (and Candy Apple cookie) out. Instead he decides to just take a look around the house, he isn’t sure how long they’re able to stay (he hopes forever) but may as well make himself feel more at home right?

When you come back in with White Lily and Candy Apple, he quickly walks up to you to have his turn to talk and to take a closer look. My, seeing his “God” up close, what a sight you were. He has to contain himself though, not yet. He'll have to stick to just talking to you and small hand holding if you'd be so kind.

Just listen to his voice, he tries sweet talking you and getting on your good side if he wasn’t already there, he knows you might be cautious due to him being a Deceit Trio member. He just wants to make sure you trust him better than anyone else.

Shadow Milk once he gets over the initial happiness of how he looks, he looks for you, nearly tackling you into a tight hug as he sees you walking with Black Sapphire. Oh he dreamed of this day and now it was finally here!! He wouldn’t let the fact some other pesky cookie had somehow joined him, cuz you were here with him now.

It was so delightful, now you can have your focus on him only, he can finally hold you, show you the tricks he’s practiced so much to get your attention. He can tell you were still rather..confused about the situation. Fret not he’ll explain better than Pure Vanilla did.

Oh he’s so happy to have succeeded, how he hopes this is permanent…If not, no harm in trying to get back permanently. You don’t mind a new roommate right?

Funny thing guys, I started writing this when I was super tired and planned to schedule it for the middle of the next day, but when I was reading back to check on the typos I probably made I realised I wrote GingerBraves name as GingerGrave, so luckily I checked haha...

#✦ Zeros Self-Aware AU #pure vanilla x reader #white lily x reader #black sapphire x reader #shadow milk x reader #pure vanilla x you #white lily x you #black sapphire x you #shadow milk x you

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sweaterkittensahoy · 5 months ago

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A quick resource round up if you need yarn and shopped at Joann

I don't remember all of Joann's brands, so forgive me if I miss one, but here's everything I can think of that either will help you buy stuff you've used or give you a new place to look for yarn.

Yarnspirations will have everything for Red Heart, Caron, Patons, Lily Sugar 'n' Cream, Bernat, Aunt Lydia's, and Coats & Clark. (I made a post about this yesterday but don't want to skip it.)

Lion Brand's website will have any Lion Brand you need.

Plymouth yarn is one of those companies that shows you what they have but then you have to look at their shop list to find it.

Yarn.com is a huge yarn selling company with a lot of options, including Plymouth.

Creative Yarn Source is a website where you can get Omega-brand threads and yarns. I don't know if Hobby Lobby still carries Omega, but they did 15 years ago (I made a terrible vest [my fault; not the yarn] right before we moved to PDX). Lots of thread sizes and colors.

Knitpicks has size 10 and size 3 thread in a bunch of colors. It's called Curio. It's under laceweight. For a good acrylic worsted, I recommend their Brava. I also prefer their Dishie to Sugar 'N' Cream just because I like how it softens up a bit more.

We Crochet is actually just Knitpicks but aimed at primarily crocheters rather than knitters. They don't one-to-one on yarn options, which bothers me, but I'm sure it's based on what crocheters buy most often vs. what knitters buy most often. That site also has some extra brands on it, too.

If you need to sub a yarn, yarnsub.com is literally just that. They have a whole rating system. I've used it several times to source similar or replacement yarns.

Hobbii has always been a great resource for me, but if you are looking for an exact yarn, it's not going to be what you need. It's a Danish company, so shipping takes a little time, but every yarn I've gotten from them I've really liked. Their "Friends" line has stuff I would definitely consider workhorse sort of options.

Wool and the Gang has a website where you can buy directly from them.

Big Twist yarns has a website, but it just sends you to Amazon to buy, so here's the link to the page of it from Craftz brand. You can use this same link to get the Easy Peasy yarn for Woobles.

Premier Yarns has a website where you can buy directly from them.

Herrschners carries a bunch of different yarns, and if you like kits, that's a lot of their business.

#joann #yarn resources #i'm sure i missed a couple brands in there #but that'll get you started

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yuzukult · 3 months ago

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shooting your shot [preview] | kmg & reader

title: shooting your shot pairing: kim mingyu x fem!reader/oc - preview genre: angst, fluff, eventual smut, coffee shop owner!mingyu, assassin(?)!oc, hitwoman(?)!oc wc: ~3.8k for teaser summary: settling down, getting married, having kids, and having a 9-5 job that you go to everyday isn't really something you've ever thought about. however, kim mingyu suddenly wakes you up with a warm cup of coffee paired with that wide cheesy grin of his, and suddenly... that life doesn't sound so bad. or is it? warnings: mature themes, eventual smut, mentions & utilization of guns and other weaponry, mentions of gangs, drug dealers, etc - additional themes will be added once it is posted officially a/n: i know i have some series that are incomplete (i'm sorry) but i honestly lost a lot of inspo for writing... i want to get back into it bc it was such a fun hobby for me, so i figured i'd start over and release a preview of something new i was working on !! it's similar to the themes of i'm bad too (a doyoung fic i wrote years ago) but this is a bit more mature imo !! enjoy the teaser :)

“I like you.”

You blink blankly.

Kim Mingyu always manages to put himself in the worst situations. Last week, Hana, his employee at the cafe he owns, had asked him if he wanted to go out for dinner—being as naive as he is, he assumed a group dinner, only to find himself sitting across the table from her at some fancy three Michelin star restaurant with a small candle lit between them before she confessed her heart out to him. A month ago, he agreed to help his friend Joshua fix up his house and without asking for details is how he ended up stuck on a roof because the shingles needed to be replaced… and well, he’s afraid of heights. Then at another time, his sister asked for a ride and he quickly agreed without any questions when he clearly should have because he was sitting outside of a sketchy ass alleyway in center city. It’s where the boy he disapproved his sister of dating lived, right beside all the homeless people and junkies resided.

And now, with you laying flat on top of a building somewhere downtown, he says those words nervously over your earbuds as you watch your target through the ocular lens. Does he know what he’s getting himself into?

“What?”

Mingyu takes in a deep breath of courage to reiterate himself. “I like you. Like, a lot. I know you’re gonna say that I don’t know you well enough to like you—”

“—you don’t—”

“—but you make me feel things in my chest that I can’t control.”

“What? You’re mistaking heartburn with how you feel for me?” You spot the four blacked out Cadillacs parked outside of the building across the street with bodyguards that begin to surround the area. Mingyu better speed this up or you’ll have to hang up on him.

He sighs. “It’s not heartburn. I like you, really. I wanna give this a shot, but only if you let me.”

“Ask out Hana. She’s pretty.”

You could hear the hint of irritation in his voice from your lack of hesitation. “It’s not just about a girl being pretty. It’s about her personality too—how she is, where she’s from, what she does for a living…” you laugh quietly and he barely catches it. “… see! You think I’m funny too. It’s a great trait in a guy. Doesn’t hurt to give me a shot, does it?”

Ironically, it does hurt when you get shot, especially with the intent you have at the moment with a rifle in hand.

You spot one of the bodyguards pressing against the buds in his ear.

“Let me call you back.”

“Wait, what—” Click.

Just seconds later, the middle aged man in a black suit comes out within a herd of security, all dressed in a similar fashion with dark shades and an earpiece. A warning shot, that’s all this was. It’s supposed to scare him, threaten him enough to do what your client says, because that’s what you’re always hired to do.

Shoot the warning bullet.

All the years of training, going undercover, working for the good and the bad guys have brought you to this—a third party contract killer—wait, rephrase, not a killer, but rather just a shooter… well, not only shooting either. A threat, not a promise, and if your client prefers the commitment, you’d advise them to another person who can pull that final trigger.

A hitman? With no intent of death? Is that a better name for it?

Today, your mark is Jeon Jungsik, or better known as J.S., a drug lord in the city that’s planning to expand his market into illegal weapons. He has a wife, two daughters and three sons, all which he plans to take under his wing during this development however is slowly treading the line of your current client’s objectives.

“I don’t kill,” you told him, the leather gloves in your hands snap with the adjustments you make. “So if you’re trying to take out the competition, I should be clear that I’m not gonna do this personally. I can refer you elsewhere, if you’d like.”

“That’s fine,” the man said, leaning back in his exorbitant chair. You could almost smell the unlawfully obtained crocodile leather material of his seat. “It’s just to scare him a little. Give him a running start to get out of the game. I wanna give people a chance to become an ally. Then maybe I’ll reach out to you for your associate’s number. I like to think of myself as a nice guy.”

It doesn’t take long, but with one press of the trigger, the man recoils and collapses on the floor with his whole team pulling out their weapons in all directions.

“Oh.”

“What? Shocked to see me?”

His face heats up but could anyone blame him? The girl he’s been crushing on is standing before him, hours after he confessed his feelings only to be hung up on. In all fairness, he thought that was a sign that you weren’t into him.

“Kinda, yeah. I thought you said you’d call me back.”

“You were on the way,” you reply, fingers skimming through the laminated menu taped to the plexiglass. “Thought I’d stop by so we could talk. If you still want to talk.”

“I—Hm,” he begins, unsure how to even talk to you at this point. “How about I make you your usual, and we can talk over a cup?”

Nodding in agreement, you shove your hands into the front pocket of your blue jeans. You’ve since switched out of your work attire, tossed and stuffed into a duffle that sits underneath the flooring of your car, along with your disassembled rifle.

That, exactly all of that is why you could never hold a serious relationship. And that’s what you want to tell him—honestly and genuinely, it had nothing to do with him but rather everything to do with you. How could an innocent guy like him, someone who ran the neighborhood coffee shop with regulars that worked in such mundane jobs ever be with someone who was considered a hired sort-of-assassin? Marksman? Markswoman? Was there even a word for it?

Finding an empty table, you plop yourself in the seat. He’s really cute, you have to admit that, and despite keeping yourself at an arm's length with every person you meet, somehow Mingyu always oversteps those boundaries and you’ve never even thought twice in trying to stop him.

Tousled hair and apron on, he’s got some coffee stains on the sleeve of his shirt, light bags under his eyes from waking up at the crack of dawn to open up shop, he still manages to radiate that same bright energy as he always does.

“Black coffee and one sugar,” he announces with a cheeky smile, pushing the ceramic cup to you. “Your usual. Kinda reminds me of you. Bitter, but you’re just a bit sweet.”

Gross. But why do you kind of like it?

“Why do you like me?”

His smile fades. It’s mostly out of embarrassment and nervousness, not because he lost feelings for you in that span of time, but he feels like this is grade school all over again. “I thought we went through this already.”

“I know, but…” grabbing the spoon that sits on the plate underneath, you sir the dark liquid with the steam rising. “I don’t know if I can give you what you want, Mingyu. I’m just a regular customer that helped you out once when you almost got robbed. Maybe you’re thinking that you owe me or something.”

Almost a year ago, when the shop was closing up at midnight, a man in a ski mask attempted to steal the money at the register with a loaded gun.

Truthfully, you weren’t really planning on stepping in at all. On your way home from another job, the thoughts that crossed your mind didn’t include going into that café, but after seeing that scared college girl’s face behind the counter with a gun to her head, you let out a sign before swinging the front doors open.

Needless to say, the man in the ski mask was flipped, kicked, and shoved, his gun thrown to the side as you call her to grab zip ties from the back so you could tie him up for the cops to arrest him formally.

“Here,” you handed off your own personal number to the girl, figuring she’d use it in case of another emergency, only for it to fall into the hands of Kim Mingyu, the guy who had already been ogling you everyday during your morning routes.

“OK, ok,” he says, placing his hands flat on the table. “Maybe I don’t know you, but I want to. I wanna learn about you, I wanna know what your favorite foods are and if you like Post Malone or if you prefer rock bands. Are you a morning person or a night owl, and if you’re just stuck waking up in the early hours because of your job because that’s the only time I see you here. I—I really like you, and I can’t seem to put into words why, but I want to get to know you.”

You roll your lips. It takes you a minute to respond, but the minute seems like hours to him. Bringing the drink to your lips, the warmth hits your tongue and you can feel it in your chest.

It’s dangerous, letting someone like him in your life. In the chance that someone figured out your identity and realized he was your weakness, it wouldn’t be long for him to get captured and kept as a hostage.

“I’m not a good girlfriend,” you warn him, fiddling with the spoon.

“And where’d you hear that?”

Maybe it was the guy who you binded up with rope last weekend, delivering him to one of your clients when you recalled him saying something along the lines of, “Is this the type of shit you’re into? I bet you don’t even have a boyfriend ‘cause if you did, he’d fucking hate you.” Or a couple weeks ago, when that one dude groped you from under your skirt and you twisted his arm, wincing with, “you’re so sexy but you’d be an awful fuck anyways.”

Sure, they weren’t word-for-word “you’re not a good girlfriend,” but you’d say it was pretty fucking close.

“Men,” you retort nonchalantly, grabbing your drink again. “I don’t think I’m good at commitment, Mingyu. You seem amazing at it. Wasn’t there a girl that stopped by a while ago who was begging you to take her back?”

He grimaces, running his fingers through his disheveled hair. You wish it was your very own, threading through them with his lips pressed against yours, the taste of a vanilla latte lingering on his tongue, along with a sharp inhale of coffee beans from him carrying the bags over his shoulders all morning during inventory restock.

But it doesn’t work like that. You and Mingyu can’t work out like that. Not while you remain in this profession.

“An ex-girlfriend. But you don’t have to worry about her.”

“Never said I was.” You were. Maybe just a little.

“Can… Can I at least try to pursue you? You’re not flat out saying you don’t like me, it just seems like something is holding you back.”

Yeah, you think to yourself, because it’s exactly that.

Your colleagues don’t settle, or at least, they don’t settle while they’re still taking jobs. There’s too much risk involved, all which include putting your loved ones in danger.

But for some reason, a flat out rejection doesn’t come out.

“Don’t get mad if nothing comes of it.” With that, you grab your coffee and engulf it like a shot before placing it back on the table.

“Girl, you really don’t need me to be here.”

You sigh. Arguing with Sunny on a Thursday morning isn’t really something you want to do, but Sunny loves to bicker.

She’s the opposite of her name—Grumpy is what her parents should’ve given her, instead they chose the bubbliest and warmest name for the coldest and most bitter person.

Nonetheless, you do like her.

She makes the job more enjoyable, somehow her dark casting clouds are a distraction to what this job really entails because your attention is too busy being on how she responds groggily to every little thing.

“Why do you say that?” You ask, adjusting the kevlar vest around your upper body. It’s tight around your frame, as it’s supposed to be, but you admit it’s a bit hard to shift into any position with this on. “I always need you here.”

“You really don’t,” Sunny glares at you, slipping into her jacket before she zips herself up. She’s a trained assassin—keyword: assassin. Her job is to leave the assigned Target dead, without a breath or a heartbeat left. Bringing her here only serves the purpose of her making the final shot. “You are perfectly capable of following through with this job—your aim is impeccable. Why the fuck did Summers assign me to this? Does he think I need a chaperone?” With the Boss being her brother, it’s fair that Sunny thinks that Summers did this on purpose; he’d been on her ass these past few months when she accidentally missed her marque—but it wasn’t entirely her fault, there’d been a sniper on the opposing side playing defense.

With a laugh, you snap your precision sniper together. It reminds you of those toys you’d find in the aisles of stores growing up, the ones your parents pulled you away from because they were “made for boys.” Meanwhile, there’s two girls who stand on the roof of a building in the city, holding two real ones. “It’s more so for me than for you,” you admit, popping the ear piece in. “I don’t kill, remember? I’ll aim for the warning shot first, the Client will call the Target, and if it doesn't go well, you’ll make the final hit.”

Groaning, she climbs onto her stomach. “I don’t get why you don’t kill—your fucking accuracy is off the charts. You know Summers framed your training targets? That’s how he gets clients—that shit is hung in his office when they come in. Raves all about you.”

You can’t hold back the flattering smile as you mimic her lying position several feet away. “He assigns other people for the job though.”

She turns to roll her eyes at you. “Yeah, because you won’t fucking kill.”

You shake your head. Now, the waiting game starts. “Well, my hits are impactful and torturous. I’d say that’s worse than killing. Plus, why kill when I can use it as an excuse to hang out with you?”

“Or—hear me out,” Sunny begins, peeking through her scope, “you could just fucking answer my texts when I hit you up to go clubbing.”

“I don’t ‘club,’ Sunny.”

“Why? Are you afraid you’re gonna upset Summers?”

You furrow your brows. What does she mean by that? “What?”

“Oh, come on,” she’s turning the rifle from side to side, skimming the area. “You’re his literal favorite. My brother practically has heart eyes whenever you’re around. Like I said, he hung your training targets in his office. Last week, he told me he thought you were pretty.”

You narrow your gaze through the scope but the scowl was for Sunny. “What did you ask him? Pick between me or the Wicked Witch of the West? Who’s prettier?”

“That’s not the point.”

“Ahhh, I see,” you snicker. “Plus, even if he was interested, I might be into someone else.”

Did you really just say that?

It flowed off your tongue a lot more smoothly than you’d prefer, catching even yourself off guard.

Sunny’s mouth drops as she looks over at you. “You’re lying.”

“Pay attention,” you gesture ahead. “And… I’m not. Someone asked me out and I’m considering it.”

“Normie?” A voice through the earpiece says. “Or is it another hitman?”

Sunny grins when she hears her brother. “Hey, Summers. What are you doing on this line?”

You suck in your cheeks.

From what you understand, Summers doesn’t get involved in any of the on-the-ground work. He’s bound to his desk at this point—besides constantly networking, and meeting with Clients, he’s writing contracts, all while managing to assign the work to his hitmen and stuffing money into their pockets. Summers is the mastermind of this all, the head of operations, and it never minded anyone that he didn’t get into the details of everything.

That’s why when you hear his voice over the line and not Chan who sits at his computer (with the ten monitors on display) all day, you’re suspicious.

“Just making sure you’re doing your job,” he says, clearing his throat. “You’re not giving her a hard time, are you?”

“No, but you’re giving us a hard time just from your attendance.”

He clears his throat and diverts his attention back to you. “So…” Summers calls out your name gingerly. “Is… Is he a normie or another hitman?”

You and Sunny lock eyes for a moment; yours glaring and hers content, proud of herself for making the correct observation.

“A normie,” you state calmly, and you can almost picture Summers doing that awkward neck rub. “Nothing serious yet, we’re just talking.”

“Ah,” he chuckles softly. “Just like your mentor, right? Seungcheol? Didn’t he quit the field so he could be with his normie wife?”

“Summers, Target acquired. Status update?” Looking through your scope, your rifle follows in suit of the direction he’s walking. “Did the Client call?”

Summers uncomfortably coughs at the situation and hands the mic over to Chan. “Sorry, uh. Chan, give direction.”

Sunny shoves Summers after tossing off her gloves. “Summers, what the fuck was that? You were distracting us from our mission. If it weren’t for our prized Hitlady here, we wouldn’t have gotten the Target. Are you crushing that bad?”

Standing outside of the van parked blocks away from the setpoint, you both switch out your gear.

Your ears heat up, and so does Summer’s. “It’s fine,” pulling out the earpiece, you toss it into the bin Chan provides. “He’s our Boss anyways. He makes the calls, so if he distracts us, that’s his decision.”

“Yeah, see? Also, can you stop treating me as just your brother? I’m running an organization here. Give me some credit.”

Chan snickers quietly from the sidelines and you grin in his direction.

Sunny takes a deep inhale. “Look, whatever. We did the job, and it worked out. I didn’t even have to kill anyone, our 98% aimed so well, the guy was so scared that he admitted defeat. Another win in our book.”

You groan. Not the “98%” shit again—a couple years ago, there’d been an internal competition between all the assassins. It was pretty much an accuracy test; how precise were your shots, the amount of times you were able to hit that same spot, and additional factors such as weather, timing, and so on were factored in.

Needless to say, you got a 98% accuracy score.

Grabbing your coffee cup from the table, you bring the slightly cold liquid to your lips. It was hot when you picked it up this morning at Mingyu’s coffee shop; his bright smile illuminated the entire restaurant, almost (keyword, almost) causing your heart to do flips in your chest, but now it’s a bit cold since you were too busy to finish it all.

“I’m not that good, Sunny. That’s why you’re here today—covering for me if we did have to aim to kill.”

Sunny raises a brow before twisting the cup in your hand.

“Is that… hearts around your name? Who’s Mingyu?”

You turn it to your direction and your face warms up instead of the coffee. There’s scribbles and doodles around your name, signed by Mingyu at the bottom. As corny as this is, it’s… kind of cute. “Oh. He uh…. He’s the guy I’m sorta seeing. The Normie, if you will.”

Summers looks at you with a concerned expression. “Is that what you want? To date a Normie? He doesn’t know anything about this side of you—how’s he gonna react when he finds out you hurt people?”

“I mean, we’re just talking.”

“But what if he wants more? Then what? Are you going to tell him that you’re an assassin?” His tone is stern, and you sneak a glance at Sunny who just gives you that I-told-you-so look.

“I… I’ll work on that when we get there,” you blink blankly. “Is there something wrong?”

He sneaks a glimpse at his sister and Chan who watch him attentively. “Uh, no, there isn’t. Just uh… expressing concern, is all, from a boss’ standpoint. You know. I have to make sure my people don’t have any obstacles that can affect the workplace.”

When Sunny rolls her eyes and drags Summers away to avoid another uncomfortable conversation, you sigh in relief while climbing into the back of the van and shutting the door closed.

“Well, that was entertaining.”

You toss the vest into the bin. “Yeah, I don’t know what to do about that,” you shrug, plopping into the seat next to Chan. “Do you think I should quit? I feel like this whole thing with Summers, the missions, and potentially settling down in the future might fuck everything up. Do I even want to settle down?”

“Are you kidding me? If I had at least a third of your skills, I’d be signing up for every mission possible. Your skills will go to waste.”

You sigh, rubbing your face with the palm of your hands. “I feel like I’m at a bit of a standstill, if I’m being quite honest.”

“About this Mingyu guy?” Chan swivels his chair back to his 10 monitors propped onto the walls of the inside of the van. His fingers dance along the clackiness of the keyboard, but his ears stay perked at your responses. “I thought you said you guys were just talking.”

“We are, I just…” shoulders slouching, you release another weighted breath from your chest. “I don’t know.”

“Well, whatever it is, you probably need to establish some boundaries with Summers,” Chan says, shutting down the system before turning back to you. “You know how he is.”

You quirk a brow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’s a nice guy, but he can be a little possessive,” his eyes have hints of pity in them, like they’re directly toward you. “Even with Sunny. Like come on, when’s the last time she’s ever introduced a boyfriend to him?”

“Sunny doesn’t even really date.”

“Not since Summers punched her last boyfriend.”

Oh. Well that’s new. “I’m not his girlfriend though—and I’m definitely not his sister either.”

“You’re on his radar, that should be enough.”

thanks for reaching the end !! :) thanks for being so patient with me throughout all the years, i'm excited to start my journey all over again.. so bear with me if i suck lol pls lmk what you think !!

#seventeen fanfic #svt fanfic #seventeen #kim mingyu fanfic #kim mingyu #mingyu x reader #mingyu fanfic #mingyu #gyukultfics

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