#why can't I just drag and drop files in a folder. fucking hell

[bluastro-yellow]

I never want an apple phone ever again but I'm feeling genuine affection for my phone. it's my little darling. my tiny friend. my trusted companion

poor thing, it's not its fault apple has a horribly closed ecosystem

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

[barnesaintdead]

Pandora's Box Prologue

Summary: Times have changed, great heroes were gone and all that remained was wreckage and lives to star over. After an alleged terrorist stack, Bucky is taken back to the past. With nightmares still vivid in his mind, he must choose between succumbing to fear of standing before it.

Warnings: smut, angst, mentions!abuse/rape/torture, +18

Word count: +1400

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Mutant!OC

A/N: This fic is being edited and reposted.

The bad dreams were not gone yet, no matter how much time passed. He squirmed on the bed, still unconscious, stirring in the dawn as if the weight of the world fell upon him. A shrill and terribly familiar scream filled the air, so close that even though it couldn't be identified, it made him cringe intead of waking up. His breath came in heavy puffs when panic enveloped him, his hands deperately searching on something — anything — to hold onto while he felt the ground tilting, threatening to throw him into the abyss the he knew it was just inched away. But there was nothing to cling but the soft fabric of the sheets beneath him that were already almost on the floor. And then, as suddenly as it started, the hooks that were hissing from the weight stopped, being replaced by slight click-clack sounds.

He was on that damned train once again. The next second, an explosion and the fire engulfed everything around him.

His eyes darted open to the cold darkness and he rolled back to the middle of the bed, his arm going up to cover his eyes as he tried to let that fucking nightmare aside. His pulse started to slow and the blood pumping in his ears were giving him the worst headache. His chest heaved for oxygen as he tried to control his anxiety, remembering that it wasn't the first time he had panicked during a dream, let alone would be the last. His head spun with the vivid details still fresh under his eyelids: the sound of metal scraping metal, the wind roaring agaist the wagon sides. The ground disappearing and giving way to an icy chasm.

He remembered being fallen in the snow, almost passing out by the ache that pulsed throug his body when his ears captured the sound of footsteps dragging trough the snow. He sighed in relief for thinking that it was Steve coming to his rescue. Only to find out that it wasn't Steve. There were more than three guys, all of them speaking a foreign language. And only when it came to him what language was that the tears flooded his eyes and he cried like a baby. Bucky Barnes has never been so terrified in his life. And he had a reason. Although, that explosion was something very new. That fire was never there before.

His vision was still a bit blurred, but he could make out Sam's silhouette, dressed and equipped, screaming at his door.

"Bombs. Not far. Fury thinks is a terrorist attack. Let's go!"

Bucky rubbed his eyes hard and yawned, his hands roaming the bed after the shirt he wore last night before going to bed. It was a little too late when they received a notification from the local cops. A small residential building was on fire, three explosions did the job and now the firefighters could not contain it. Bucky is frowning, both from the nightmare and the selfish tought that the police could have handled a smal fire on it's own that he knew he shouldn't be having.

However, his expression shifted quickly when he saw the red-orange glow and the dark smoke filling the sky from afar.

The choices we made are the ones that leads us to different paths, each decision is a curve, they can bring us closer or farther away from the end. The fate, still, works within its own rules. It has always been like that, fate is traced since our birth.

The fire department chief explained in details what happened since the beginning and what they needed to do, but Bucky wasn 't paying any attention. His heart was throbbing against his ribcage, not quite undertanding what was that and why his legs were moving towards the bulding on they own. The place was the enbodiment of hell itself. Hot, red and suffocating; flames licking the walls and turning to ash everything in its path. He wrinkled his nose when the unmistakable scent from burnt human flesh reached him. Approaching the main hall where a small group tried to fight the fire, he looke up and then to the base of the stairs. On the floor, some debris fell on bodies that were already charred.

"Buck!" Sam yells from the door when he realizes that his partner is running up the stairs without looking back, like he was hypnotized. "Fuck, Barnes!".

Bucky is now surrounded by the fire, the estructure giving in under his feat faster and faster as he approaches the top floor. The crackling of the flames are the only other sound beside his heart pounding in his ears. It is so hot he can barely breathe and the air is so toxic he can feel the smoke clinging into his lungs.

Finally, he finds it. What his heart — or instinct — is looking for. The last door in the hallway, the one that has been in his head since he set foot in that street, who knows why. Without hesitation, he kicks the door open, splitting the weak wook in two halfs. The smoke is so concentrated on those four walls he could barely see two feet ahead. The kitchen and living room were empty, the roof lining left no room from anyone to hide in the bathroom. And then he hears it. A low sob coming from the remaining room.

The girl was sitting in the corner beside the bed, the fire almost reaching her, but she seemed to be ignoring everything around her. Her eyes staring at a fixed point on the opposite wall, they don't move when Bucky enter the room and comes closer, but thick tears spill out like waterfall in her sooty cheeks. She was hugging her knees, rocking her body back and forth, shaking compulsively. Bucky dropped to his knees and crawled close to her. He knew that the smaller he seemed, the less chance he had to frighten her even more.

Now, face to face, his expression lit up in recognition. His heart skipped a beat when the girl's eyes strayed from the wall to face his, making him fall back with the sudden movement.

Somewhere outside her window, Sam was observing, not undertanding what was all that about. "Come on, Barnes! Get her outta there!" He screams.

As if his brain clicked back to reality, the Soldier realizes what is happening around them and uses a blanked he found on the ground to wrap the girl's small body and move it more carefully. She does not refure, nor does she tries to resist. She just let herself be carried away by him.

Bucky sixth sense comes to realization when is already too late. They hadn't even get to the window when the fourth explosion came. The entire top floor went down. Sam was launched into the air and Bucky has flied all the way to the ground, out of breath and coughing blood. The girl was on the other sidewalk, next to the remaining residents, covered in dirt and her own blood. She was looking dead into the sky with a faint smile on her bruised lips.

Sam rushes to his friend, taking off his head gears to get a better view of Bucky's wounds up close. He put his head against his tights and tried to keep the Soldier awake.

"What the fuck was that, Barnes?!" He asks, desperately calling for help. Wanda and Clint were already on their way. Bucky stared at him with unfocused eyes, his face covered in soot and drops of blood.

The sun behind them was rising at a lazy pace, but was strong enough for Sam to get a look at his partner's face better. Bucky was smirking.

"I... I know... Her" He says. Is hard to breathe when you can't feel your own lungs, you know?

"What?"

Sam was more concearned about the huge piece of rusty metal that is burried deep in Bucky's stomach. He pulls San by the collar.

"I know her" He says loudly and a bit harsh, then falls down, completely exhausted. His hole body ached.

"You'll be fine, pal" Sam murmurs softly.

...

Later that morning, after all that ruckus, the fire was extinguished. Residents were relocated and the injuried were transportated to local hospitals. Bucky had used his body as a shield to protect the girl, in addition to hitting his head against the glass and getting a face full of shards, the huge cut in his belly, minor burns and superficial scratches, he also had fractured his collarbone. Sam and Fury were watching the two of them from the bedroom window. Both slept soundly.

"What are we going to do with her?" Sam asks and hand Fury a huge file. "The cops gave me her data and I found this little baby in the wreckage of her room", then handled over a thick folder, full of notes and reports. The red figure in the front made Fury sigh loudly.

"It seems that we have a very big problem at hand", Fury says, rubbing the crease that formed between his brows. "I'll analyze these files. You keep an eye on them until they wake up".