#y'all are in for it

[soaps-mohawk]

I have officially returned from my weekly break

I will get around to answering asks shortly 💚

[klutzymaiden123]

I'm still currently re-writing Chapter 32, but here's a snippet of what's to come! Warning: these next few chapters will be sad.

Brown eyes stared back.

The mirror held her face like it did every morning. There was nothing different and yet, she still hunted for something. She wasn’t sure what—she never was. But the glass was inches from her face which gave her the appearance of someone quite vain. She supposed, in a way, she was quite a vain person. She was always concerned with how people perceived her, how they regarded her. She was constantly examining herself from all angles, in mirrors, phone screens, glass surfaces, anything that could reflect her shape back at her. She needed to be perfect. She needed to figure out what it was that people wanted, then mould herself accordingly. Lila Sawyer was vain and right now, she looked it. Checking her reflection so thoroughly while standing in the middle of the hallway. She should be getting books, not checking her hair. But her eyes had caught onto something on her face and she stopped. Examined the gaze. She supposed it should be something that she liked about herself. How much like her mother she appeared. She was, after all, a beautiful woman. And Lila knew that, so was she.

But right now, all she could see what set them apart. Namely, their eyes.

Her mother’s had been sweeter. They had been blue, but they had shone like lakes beneath the summer sun. They had been beautiful and still made Lila think of watercolours along the paper. Whereas, Lila thought that her own eyes resembled mud or a beast, an oak tree. There was something darker in her gaze. Something that made her different. Something that made her feel like she was still missing. Still failing.

She touched her hair. She had it in an elaborate updo that had taken too long to justify. But she looked beautiful, exactly like her mother would want. Exactly how everyone else would want. Everyone loved a beautiful girl, while also hating when that beautiful girl held a mirror to her face.

Footsteps alerted her that Helga was coming. Lila wasn’t sure when she had learned to distinguish her team’s footsteps from the others. But at some point, she had, and it had allowed her to prepare the right face.

Helga didn’t bother greeting her and slammed back against the neighbouring locker. She had her books to her chest and an exaggerated look on her face. She looked like a Shakespearean actor readying themselves for a monologue that lasted a few pages.

Lila felt her mouth twist into what she knew was a smile. Helga had always been dramatic.

Gently, Lila shut her locker.

“You look chirpy,” she pointed out.

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

“Is it because of Arnold?”

Helga made a face.

“I just had a whole conversation with the princess. We weren’t fighting,” Helga said, sounding quite proud of herself. “Well, not entirely anyway. We were both yelling about Amy Schumer. But! Before you say anything, we were on the same side. We were hating together!”

A laugh escaped Lila.

The sound made something brighten in Helga’s eyes as her theatrical expression melted into a grin.

“Trust ugly Zionists to bring people with common sense together,” she continued. “Fuck that imperialist nonsense.”

“And trust sleepovers to also bring people together,” Lila added. “Told you we talk about politics.”

Helga chuckled then launched into a retelling of the conversation. She didn’t spare any detail, adding in the appropriate facial expressions and switching voices when it was required. Although that, Lila knew, was pure exaggeration. Something you got used to when you were friends with Helga Pataki. It still astounded Lila that this girl had managed to fool so many people into thinking that she was nonchalant. She was the biggest ham that Lila had met.

But she nodded anyway, taking in what Helga had to say, until she noticed something from the corner of her eye—Phoebe.

She was standing on the other side of the hallway in a conversation with the members of the calculus club. Lila still wasn’t sure of their names, but she did recognise Nadine as one of them. They were talking about something that must have captivated them, because they hadn’t noticed that Phoebe’s attention had strayed from them.

Helga also hadn’t noticed that Lila wasn’t listening. She was waving her hands around and twisting her fists as her expression tightened into a frown. Lila had planned on moving her gaze back to her friend when Phoebe’s gaze connected with hers. It was a brief source of contact, but it sent a flash hurtling into her stomach. The results had her insides feeling charred and like she wanted to cough up ashes. Phoebe turned away and dived into her conversation with her team. Lila cocked an eyebrow. She knew that she was being harsh. The kind thing would be to let it go. It was in the past now and no one could do anything about it.

But she still hadn’t forgiven Phoebe.

It was ridiculous. Helga had—somehow—forgiven her, but Lila couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Phoebe’s choice had destroyed Helga. Lila had been the one holding that girl up. She had been the one to put her back together while crumbling herself. Phoebe wasn’t a bad fit for a Guardian, but that didn’t mean that Lila had to like her. Merely condone her.

They were allies, not friends.

The bell rung.

“Oop, that’s us!” Lila cut off the rambling and threaded her arm with Helga’s. “Time for your favourite: Mrs. Brown!”

Helga groaned.

“And I’ll be sure to sit with Gerald so you can be next to your true love!”

“. . . I hate you.”

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Check out the full story here!

And if you're interested in supporting me? You can buy me a coffee!

[amillionmagpies]

Btw, that idea that privilege makes you morally evil and suffering makes you morally good is just repackaged versions of the Christian concepts of the evils of luxury and the holiness of martyrdom. Hope this helps!

[princessofwallachia]

[anonymoussong]

Official recreation of The Dashcon photo, 11 years apart!

[dreadful-windandrain]

lets grab tail for mama

[softboyshaven]

Thinking about the Holmes story where a blind girl goes to him and is like "My fiancé is missing and he kept telling me the week leading up to his disappearance that he would always love me and come back for me,were anything to happen so I think he knew he was in trouble and I love him so much and I'm going to wait for him but I'd like to find him faster,ya know?" And Holmes figures out that it was this girl's parents to scam her out of money she was owed from an estate which she gave to them because she was still living at home,which she wouldn't be if she ever married,so her step father PRETENDED TO DATE HER for MONTHS to keep her from ever getting engaged to a real person and when Holmes finds out he confronts this man and this man is like "Well,you caught me! But it wasn't illegal:) so:)" and Holmes is like "No,but it was sickening and cruel and if she had a brother or good male friend he should post you up and whip you but she doesn't." And the man is like "No,she doesn't." And does the Victorian version of sticking his tongue out and Holmes is like "Well,I guess I'll do then!" And HE PULLS OUT HIS HUNTING WHIP.

[swordfright]

you guys are so annoying. why do i have to see discourse every year that's like "was tolkien really a woke king or was he your conservative uncle?" the guy was a devout catholic and a genteel misogynist who maintained lifelong friendships with queer people and women, and this isn't even paradoxical because that was part of the upper-class oxford culture he was immersed in. tolkien told the nazis to fuck off (and in doing so demonstrated a real understanding of what racism is and why it's harmful, beyond simply "these guys are bad news because they're who my country is at war with right now") but his inner life was marked by internalized racism that is deeply and inextricably woven into the art that he made. he foolishly described himself as an anarcho-monarchist, and it's kind of crazy to see people on this website passionately arguing that he likely never meaningfully engaged with anarchist theory, because...yeah, no shit, of course he didn't. tolkien didn't have to engage with most sociopolitical theory because as an upper-class englishman of his position, he was never affected by any of the issues that this theory is concerned with. what is plainly obvious from reading both his fiction and letters is that tolkien's ideal political system was that the divinely ordained god-king would rise up and rule in perfect justice and humility; he didn't want a government, he wanted a king arthur, even though (obviously) he was aware that outcome was impossible. why is it so hard for people to accept that he was just some guy! his letters aren't a code you have to crack. no amount of arguing or tumblr-level analysis is going to one day reveal a rhetorically airtight internally consistent worldview spanning jrrt's fiction, academic work, and personal writings, thereby "solving" the question of whether he was a woke king or your conservative uncle. his ideology was extremely inconsistent because, at the end of the day, he was just some guy.

[vadersaber]

People turning against Chappell Roan for not accepting harassment & stalking of her and her family, saying Hozier is acting embarrassing for defending his girlfriend THAT Y'ALL WEREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT after she got harassed online, calling Pedro Pascal names for.. apparently not greeting fans loudly in his own private time?

Y'all have GOT to get a grip on real life if you think celebs establishing boundaries is working against you. You do not know these people, you will not sleep with these people and they do not owe you anything!!!!!!

[all-hail-trash-prince]

I can't be the only one who desperately wanted to leave Kris in control of themself and just become their weird dog instead after the chapter 3 secret. Right?

Now has a sequel!

[yawnzshit]

finest shyt ☝️

[fourquartertoast]

[bluesky-out-of-context]

[le-velo-pour-dru]

Mutuals who I don't know very personally yet I am holding a sugarcube out in my hand in the hopes that you will approach me like the noble horse

[pemizart]

CurtRod <3