theweirdymcweirderson

[theweirdymcweirderson]

Can't stop thinking about the fact that Dean was supposed to be covered in tattoos and I'm like 🥵🥵🥵

[theweirdymcweirderson]

Till death do us part - Dean Winchester

Author: theweirdymcweirderson

Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

Relationships: Dean Winchester×Reader

Word count: 1247

Warnings: Teasing, fake dating, bit of anxiety, kissing, Reader is lowkey a bitch to Sammy

Summary: Posing as Dean's fiancée for a case. Nothing could ever go wrong, right?

Notes: English is not my first language, soooo ehehehe, please don’t judge me too harshly. Feel free to let me know your thoughts about it, I always appreciate constructive criticism.

Enjoy :)

______________________

“We’re going to a wedding?”

The chair squeaks as you turn to stare at Sam, eyebrows raised in an obvious question as you try to quickly chew and swallow the food in your mouth. Maybe he’s right, you should take smaller bites.

“Come again?”

You nod your head, pointing at Dean for putting your thoughts into words, still staring curiously at Sam.

“I just found us a case. Three different weddings, three brides dead.”

Sam walks to the table, grimaces as he pushes the remnants of your late breakfast/early lunch and sits down, partially turning his computer screen so that you and his brother can read the information he’s gathered.

“So, listen to this…”

________

Your hands smooth down the dress, running over your tummy and then your hips, as you turn around and stare at your reflection from every angle. Running is gonna be a fucking bitch in this. You move your legs around, testing the fabric’s resistance, right as Dean emerges from the bathroom.

“Well, look at you, sweetheart, you sure do clean up nicely.”

“Ha, ha, very funny. It’s 2022, why the hell can’t I wear pants?”

Right on cue, Sam walks in with what you assume is your early dinner because his “We don’t know what’s killing these people, what if the food’s poisoned?” ass, thinks it would be better to eat before heading to the reception.

“Cause you don’t own any wedding appropriate pants? Now would you, please, stop? You’ve been complaining ever since I told you about the case.”

He hands you a shoebox as you roll your eyes at his words, only to open said box and choke on your saliva.

“I’m not wearing heels, Samuel.”

“Well, you sure as hell can’t wear those old, scuffed, hunting boots either, can you?”

The box lands unceremoniously on the dusty motel bed as you stare down the younger Winchester, hands automatically going to your hips. He stares right back, holding his ground and yeah, maybe he has a point, but still…

“I can’t even walk properly on those, let alone run! How the fuck do you expect me to hunt if I risk breaking my neck on every step I take, huh?”

“Uhm, she got a point there, Sammy…”

You thank Dean for his support, eyes still locked on Sam’s as he sighs his defeat and steps back out only to walk back in a couple of minutes later with a pair of white, basic sneakers. Your lips stretch on a smile, a peace offering of some kind, because you know you’ve been a bitch to him about the case, but you can’t help it. You need something to keep your mind from thinking about being Dean fucking Winchester’s date.

Sam had, unfortunately, questioned the wedding planner, Mr. Plafond, so to him he was Agent Wedge Antilles; which left you and Dean to play the happy couple who wanted to see the planner’s work before starting to organise your own wedding. Mr. Plafond was more than willing to show you a glimpse of the final product. And, well, you were more than willing to stab yourself with a fork before having to hold hands with Dean.

You practically inhale your food, earning yourself concerned glances from your boys, but you can’t focus on that, not when your mind is obsessing over the fact that you’ll be the focus of Dean’s attention in about half an hour.

How is your fickle heart supposed to survive that when just hearing his gruff voice or witnessing his cute chuckle, has your chest constricting and your breathing quickening. Oh God. I’m so fucked. Phone in hand, you scroll mindlessly through your fake social media account as you miserably fail to calm your nerves down.

Ten minutes later, the boys are dressed to kill and you slip your gun in your thigh holster, fix your dress to make sure the knives in your bra aren’t showing and grab your purse. Going on a hunt with a fucking purse. A fucking “clutch”! I’ve become a fucking joke.

You review the plan one last time and then Sam is telling you to stay safe before he slips behind the wheel of his rented car, agreeing with Dean to meet him there a couple of minutes later to avoid raising suspicion.

Twisting your necklace around your fingers, you rest your back against the side of the car, patiently waiting as Dean checks the trunk to make sure you’re forgetting nothing.

You jump lightly when his hand envelopes yours, stopping you from further distressing the necklace.

“You seem nervous, sweetheart.”

“What? No. I mean, maybe? A little...I can’t act for the life of me, what if I mess things up?”

Dean hums his acknowledgement, a smile on his lips as his fingers find your chin and he tilts your head up for your eyes to meet.

“You trust me?”

“You know I do, Dean.”

He moves closer, so close that you can feel the keys of the Impala snug in his left pocket and digging in your side. Oh sweet baby pandas.

“You’ll do just fine...”

And then his hand, roughened by years of hunting, is caressing up your cheek, fingers then tracing the shell of your ear and for a second, an excruciatingly long, damned second, your lungs forget how to function.

“...I’ll take care of ya, sweetheart.”

It’s wishful thinking, you know that, because the heart wants what it wants, so your brain is tricking you, but damn you to all circles of hell if his voice doesn’t sound just a tad bit rougher and more strained than it usually does.

And what’s worse is that, it’s doing things to you, to your body, that you’ll have to deal with later on. I should’ve booked a room for myself, damn it.

You shouldn’t indulge, but his eyes hold yours captive and before you can force your body to pull away, his tongue pokes out, just barely, and your eyes are there, following the damn motion.

One moment you’re fantasizing about his lips and the next, those same full, pillowy, sinful lips of his are pressing to your own and stealing what little breath you have left.

All thoughts dissolve from your mind, and your body takes over, wasting no time in responding. His shirt is now fisted in your hands while your head tilts back to give him more access.

With your eyes closed, you relish in the feeling of his left hand moving from the hood of the car and sliding along your side to find your hip, turning your body to better fit his needs. A sound pushes through your throat and then you can’t take it anymore; your tongue teases the seam of his lips and takes advantage as soon as sweet, rewarding entrance is granted.

Your body melts, every muscle releasing its tension and Dean seems pretty damn okay with supporting your weight. Just as your lungs start to burn a bit too much for comfort, he pulls back with a quick, dirty nip to your cupid’s bow, leaving you blindly, stupidly, chasing after his mouth, silently asking for more.

“You see, that wasn’t so bad now, was it?”

No answer comes to you, and even if it did, you doubt you’d be able to voice it with the way his thumb is still running over your swollen lower lip.

“You just gotta follow my lead, sweetheart.”Oh yeah. I’m so utterly fucked.

Find more stuff here :)

[theweirdymcweirderson]

Jensen Ackles | Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum

[theweirdymcweirderson]

[theweirdymcweirderson]

Chris Evans + gyms

+

bonus: sweaty abs

[theweirdymcweirderson]

Dean

Season 2

[theweirdymcweirderson]

James B. Barnes & Steve Rogers Masterlist - theweirdymcweirderson

Pretty: (James B. Barnes×Reader×Steve Rogers) SMUT

Summary: Sexy times with the Super Soldiers.

Pretty

Pretty 2

Main Masterlist

[theweirdymcweirderson]

James B. Barnes Masterlist - theweirdymcweirderson

Responsability: (James B. Barnes×Reader) SMUT

Summary: Smutty encounter between Reader and Bucky.

Responsability

Bucky comes home after a mission: (James B. Barnes×Reader) FLUFF

Summary: Short drabble about Bucky’s routine when he returns home after missions.

Bucky comes home after a mission

Wondering thoughts and sleepless nights: (James B. Barnes×Reader) ANGST + FLUFF + LIGHT SMUT

Summary: The reader can’t fall asleep due to memories of her relationship with Bucky.

Wondering thoughts and sleepless nights

Greedy: (James B. Barnes×Reader) SMUT

Summary: Bucky really enjoys watching his girlfriend being pleasured.

Greedy

Snacks & secrets: (James B. Barnes×Reader) FLUFF

Summary: Bucky finds out the secret the Reader has been keeping from him.

Snacks & secrets

Some you win and some, well, you win.: (James B. Barnes×Reader) LIGHT SMUT (ish)

Summary: Bucky and the Reader engage in some teasing games.

Some you win and some, well, you win. 

Hero complex: (James B. Barnes×Reader) ANGST & FLUFF (kinda)

Summary: While on a mission Bucky and the Reader encounter a bit of trouble.

Hero complex

All is fair in love and war: (James B. Barnes×Reader) LIGHT SMUT (ish)

Summary: Things heat up during a training session between Bucky and Reader.

All is fair in love and war

Main Masterlist

[theweirdymcweirderson]

Dean Winchester Masterlist - theweirdymcweirderson

Help me Practice series: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

Summary: College!AU The reader has never been kissed and as a guy starts to take interest in her, she asks Dean, her best friend, to help her practice. After they kiss, none of them seem to be able to keep holding back the feelings they have for each other.

“Help me practice” Masterlist

Thank you: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT Summary: Reader and Dean are alone at the bunker, just relaxing a little, and Dean decides to help the reader relax in a more pleasurable way.

Thank you

Yes, sir: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

Summary: You go to a bar to have some fun and unwind a little, and the green-eyed stranger you meet is more than happy to help!

Yes, sir

Yes, sir 2

Little Fantasies: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

Request: Reader and the Winchesters have to go undercover in a high school to solve a case and the Reader has to go as a cheerleader, which provides Dean an excuse to live out his fantasy.

Little Fantasies

Changes series: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

Summary: Dean walks in on the Reader changing her clothes, and he can’t help but seeing her in a completely different way from that moment on. + Imagine being friends with Dean and one day while goofing off, he finds out you have a hair pulling kink, so he makes you moan for him.

Changes

Jealous boyfriend

He knows

Hey, babe

Back together

Make it stop, please… series: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

Summary: While on a case with Dean, Crowley puts a spell on the Reader, where she almost orgasms, but never really reaches that point, so she is left all hot and bothered and frustrated; and the only way to break the spell is by experiencing a real orgasm *nudge, nudge* + imagine whispering in Dean’s ear all the things you’re gonna do to him when you get back to the Bunker.

Make it stop, please

Hunting partner

Need to touch you

Faults

Make it up

Make the most of it

Always: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

Request: I was wondering if you’d write a deanxreader fic, please? The reader is usually a happy bubblytype of person. You’d have to really get on her last nerve to piss her off. The Winchesters have never seen this side of her. So, they’re celebrating after a tough hunt. Along with Castiel and Charlie. They go to a bar. And are pretty chill. Then these frat boys start saying some nasty things to the reader and Charlie, they ignore them. They’re just drunks, but then they get pretty nasty to the point that the boys and even Castiel are gonna jump in. But the reader beats them to it. And her temper explodes. Maybe I gave to much detail, I just want a fic along these lines and somehow incorporate a deanxreader relationship. Or starting one after the incident.

Always

You deserved it, baby: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

Request: Can you do a Dean X reader where she had been studying all night and is really frustrated and Dean helps take the stress away (smut pls) and dirty talk *I have been studying all night and could use some Dean Winchester

You deserved it, baby

I’m here now, sweetheart: (Dean Winchester×Reader) LIGHT SMUT

Request: Hey! Can I request a one shot where the reader goes missing for like a week and Dean/Sam are super worried about her, and then she calls them on a payphone crying and freaking out because she doesn’t remember anything from the past week? Fluff? Thanks :)

I’m here now, sweetheart

Ready? series: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

Summary: Reader and Dean are best friends. One day she walks in on him watching porn and they decide to make a bet.

Ready?

Your choice

I always keep my promises

Screen saver

Mine: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT this was the first fic I’d ever written…so yeah, it kinda sucks *grin*

Summary: Dean is in love with the reader but he doesn’t tell her and she’s convinced that he hates her till one day Sam and the reader decide to prank Dean making him think that they’re dating which leads Dean to confess his feelings for the reader.

Mine

Yours

Dreams drabble: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT(ish)

Summary: Dean had an intresting dream involving the Reader.

Dreams

Heat: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

WARNING: contains explicit gifs (it shouldn't show in any case, but just to be sure)

Summary: Dean is working on Baby and the Reader joins him to keep him company, but things get a little more heated than expected.

Heat

Apologies: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

Summary: Reader gets mad after Dean leaves her back at the bunker during a hunt, so he tries everything in his power to get her to forgive him.

Apologies

Apologies 2

Apologies 3

Apologies 4

Belong to: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

Request: The Reader wears thigh highs and Dean gets turned on by the while thing.

Summary: The Reader gets jealous and a little insecure when she sees Dean eyeing another woman at a bar, and later Dean sees a man flirting with the Reader so he gets jealous too. They go back to the bunker and have an argument which ends up being solved with Dean reassuring the Reader that she’s the only girl he wants.

Belong to

Belong to 2

Write it down for me: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

Summary: The Reader keeps reading the “Supernatural” books even after Dean asks her to stop, so he tells her that he wants to read about her as well.

Write it down for me

Write it down for me 2

Write it down for me 3

Make me wanna die: (Dean Winchester×Reader) LIGHT ANGST

Summary: Dean keeps doing everything in his power to push the Reader away, believing it to be the best way to keep her safe.

Request: Could you please do a song fic about to “Make me wanna die” by The Pretty Reckless.

Make me wanna die

Boredom takes over: (Dean Winchester×Reader) LIGHT SMUT(ish)

Summary: Dean confesses to the Reader that he thinks she’s the most boring person he’s ever met, and she decides to show him just how wrong that statement is.

Boredom takes over

Movie Night: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

Summary: Dean takes the Reader to the movies because they’re screening her favorite movie and things get heated after he gets jealous of her celebrity crush.

Movie Night

Interviews: (Dean Winchester×Reader) SMUT

Summary: Dean gets jealous when the Reader flirts with an officer to get the information they need, so he decides to confront her about it in the bathroom, ending up drawing some unexpected attention.

Request: Dean and the Reader having public sex and getting caught.

Interviews

Memory Foam: (Dean Winchester×Reader) FLUFF

Summary: The Reader can’t fall asleep because of the recurring nightmares she has, so Dean helps her through them.

Request: Dean and the Reader sleeping together for the first time with no smut.

Memory Foam

Ice-cream break: (Dean Winchester×Reader) FLUFF

Request: Imagine the Reader is dyslexic, but she doesn’t tell the boys because she’s really embarrassed by it but they find out anyways because she gets frustrated and starts crying.

Ice-cream break

Animals: (Dean Winchester×Reader) LIGHT SMUT

Prompt: Something about Dean based on the song Animals by Nickelback.

Animals

Till death do us part: (Dean Winchester×Reader) LIGHT ANGST(ish)

Prompt: Posing as Dean's fiancée for a case. Nothing could ever go wrong, right?

Till death do us part

Main Masterlist

[theweirdymcweirderson]

Pretty 2 - James B. Barnes & Steve Rogers

Author: theweirdymcweirderson

Characters: Reader, James B. Barnes, Steve Rogers

Relationships: Bucky Barnes×Reader×Steve Rogers

Word count: 2764 (👀)

Summary: Sexy times with the Super Soldiers: the sequel.

Warnings: 18+, Stucky, Pet names, Daddy!Bucky, Captain!Steve, explicit words, smut, teasing, Bucky Barnes’ fucking arm, choking, Dom!Bucky, Dom!Steve, so much dirty talk :), fingering, unprotected intercourse (like sperm in vagina unprotected), daddy kink (beware: this is my first time writing it), captain kink, sub!reader, degradation (but in a cute way???), threesome, blowjob, hair pulling. Let me know if you find more.

Notes: This is filth...I'm gonna go now, I'll see you at the end of it (leave me some feedback, if you feel like it).

Have fun ;)

P.s.: English is not my first language, soooo ehehehe, please don't judge me too harshly.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Previously: Pretty

~~~~~~~~~~~

A beat passes, you’ve barely sucked in enough oxygen, before you feel the grips at your neck tightening again.

“Hands and knees, darling, c’mon.”

Your mind is still hazy, clouded by the aftermath of the first orgasm of the night. You know there are many more to come and the knowledge has you growing wetter by the second. Steve leans back, runs his finger over your stomach, spreading around the come that wasn’t soaked up by your panties and when his eyes find yours, the smile that spreads on his face is enough to get your desire flaring up again.

Sucking in some more much needed air, you glance at Bucky, whose hand is still around your neck; he grins down at you, all cheeky and taunting as he waits for you to ask. He loves the way you lick your lips, glance away for a beat only to bring your gaze back on his when you have to ask, “Can I please get up, Daddy?”

Steve’s finger traces its way down to your sopping lips, playing in your juices as he watches you interact with Bucky.

“Sure thing, doll.” He leans down to press a peck to your temple, “Ass up, dollface, lemme see Cap fuck that tight cunt. Put on a show for Daddy.”

So you do, you sit up, the silky robe pooling at your waist as you reach for Steve’s hard chest and ghost your fingers along his pecs and down to his abs, enjoying the way the muscles tighten under your touch. There’s a light sheen of sweat starting to cover the warm expanse of muscle, and you lean closer; tongue snaking out to pepper kitten licks along his neck.

The hand that isn’t playing with your clit wraps around your neck; you gasp as he pulls you up until you’re face to face with him, lips brushing as he speaks.

“Don’t make me repeat myself, darling.” A slap connects with your thigh; a stinging reminder of what happens when you don’t do as you’re told.

You pull back when he releases his hold, look up into the Captain’s darkening gaze, and turn around to face Bucky who’s now leaning against the pillows; teeth worrying his lips as he admires your breasts and aching nipples. You move to settle between his parted thighs, hands running up the fabric of his jeans to settle on either side of his hips. Bucky’s hands are behind his head, a clear indication that he plans on enjoying the show for a while.

Steve’s hand connecting with your left ass cheek makes you yelp in surprise, hips thrusting forward as you subconsciously try to pull away. When you glance at him over your shoulder, you find his gaze locked on his best friend as he smacks your other cheek.

You groan at the sting, but this time you push back against him, wordlessly asking for more.

“Hum, you ready for me, darling? Ready for my cock?” You nod your head, biting your bottom lip as you rub your ass against his crotch, whining at the barely there stimulation you get. His hips pull back and he lightly taps your sopping core, “Look at you, so wet and willing. Just wanna be filled up, don’t ya?”

“Yes, please. Give it to me, Captain, fill me up.”

You grind back against his hand, shamelessly spreading your wetness on his fingers as you go. His thick fingers push past your lips, teasing your bundle of nerves for a second before he enters you and you groan your appreciation; back arching deeper as your arms give up, forcing you to press your face against Bucky’s jean-clad thigh.

“How’s that pussy feel, Stevie?” The question has Steve pushing in another finger, further stretching your walls to prepare you to take him.

“Oh, you’re gonna love this, Buck. She’s so fucking wet already; clenching down so hard.”

You moan, listening to the filthy words and shivering at the way they speak of you, of your body. Bucky brings his hand to your head, carding his fingers through your hair for a second, before he fists the strands and lifts you up to look him in the eye.

“Feel good, doll? You enjoying Cap’s fingers fucking ya?” Your teeth sink down in your bottom lip, eyes rolling back in your head as Steve brushes the spot inside you that has you seeing stars. You’re already so close again, it’s embarrassing.

“Oh God, yes. Feels so-oh good, Daddy, please.” Bucky leans up, lips ghosting the shell of your ear as he whispers huskily, “Ya know, if you beg nicely enough he might even let you come on them.” He chuckles then, bringing your head back to his lap as he relaxes against the pillows once more.

Another smack is delivered to your bottom, eliciting a whine past your panting lips as you beg Steve for more, your walls clamping around his digits, “Can I come for you, Cap? Please, I’ll be so good, can I co-oh fuck! Please.”

Your body shudders as you try to hold back, waiting for his say so. Nails dig in Bucky’s leg when Steve laughs darkly, slowing his pace and focusing on your g-spot. Your legs start shaking with the effort to keep your ass in place and you almost cry in relief when Steve wraps his free arm around your midriff, hand coming to rest against your stomach. He lifts you up, your back pressed to his damp chest as he keeps finger-fucking you.

“Ain’t she pretty like this, Buck?” His question is answered by a grunt, Bucky’s eyes devouring your body as he sheds himself of the layers of clothing and fists his dick. Your mouth waters at the sight of the black metal gliding over his come slickened shaft.

“Uhm, you like that, don’t you, darling? Huh? Like Daddy watching you being such a little whore for me?” Your ass presses back against him, answering his questions as you grind up and down his dick; your walls clench around his fingers again, alerting him of your pending release.

“Mmhm, yes, always. Always your dirty, little whore, Captain. Let me come? Please?”

“Go ahead, darling. Keep your eyes on him and come for me.”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice, your walls start spasming before he finishes the sentence; body going limp in his arms as your hips keep bucking against his thrusting fingers. You’re still coming when he retrieves his digits, a disappointed plea the only thing you manage to muster up, but then his cock is teasing your entrance and he thrusts inside in one go, filling you up as your walls are still clenching and prolonging your orgasm.

“That’s it-fuck, darling, always feel so fucking good.” Your head falls back to rest against his shoulder as he starts moving inside you. Slowly rocking you back and forth.

“You want a taste, pal?”

The question has you opening your eyes right in time to see the brunette coming to his knees in front of you, eyes boring into his best friend’s ones. “Yeah, don’t be greedy, punk.”

You melt when his chest presses to yours, your hard, aching nipples rubbing against his pecs with every thrust of Steve’s hips. Bucky’s hand cups the other man’s cheek, pulling him into a kiss over your shoulder. He moans in Steve’s mouth, biting down on his bottom lip before he suckles on it. They make it look so pretty and so dirty; their kisses are always a clash of teeth and a rolling of wet, needy tongues. The sight has you bringing your hand back to your pulsing clit.

“Mmm, taste even better on Cap’s lips, dollface.” You glance back over your shoulder to find Steve giving you a shit-eating grin, and you realize exactly what Bucky was tasting: Steve must’ve sucked your come off his fingers.

The praise has goosebumps rising on your skin.

“Thank you, Daddy.” He hums his acknowledgement; hands running along your sides before they cup your breasts and you keen at the touch. You’re torn between pushing back against Steve’s thrusting hips, or forward towards Bucky’s exploring hands.

At the same time, Steve slaps your hand off your clit and Bucky pinches a nipple; the sleekness of the metal fingers adding another layer to the overwhelming amount of feelings driving you crazy.

You whimper your approval, eyes begging Bucky as he leans down to pull one nipple inside his hot mouth. He smiles up at you, flashing you his teeth for a second before they are sinking down in your flesh, inflicting just enough pain for more slick to gush around Steve’s dick, and now it’s the blonde’s turn to moan in approval. Your hands fly to Bucky’s hair as he reserves the same treatment to your other breast, groaning against it when you tangle your fingers in the strands and pull.

Now that Bucky’s body is holding you up, Steve brings his fingers to your lips, teasing them open and you gladly accept; running your tongue around his fingers the way you know he likes you to.

“Need something to suck on, huh? C’mon then, wanna see you choke on Daddy’s dick.”

That grabs Bucky’s attention, who lets go of your nipple and sits back on the bed, grinning happily as Steve places a hand on your lower back and bends you to his will.

Your cheek presses to Bucky’s thigh, and you allow yourself to enjoy the skin-on-skin contact for a couple of seconds, before you nuzzle his cock and slyly look up at him with parted lips and innocent eyes.

“Fuck, Stevie, look at her. So fucking obedient.”

“Only for you, Daddy.”

The answer earns you a hard thrust by Steve; he stills, buried deep inside you until you glance back at him apologetically. “Ah-both of you. Fuck, both of you, Captain, please.”

“Mmhm, less talking, more sucking.”

Your hips wiggle against him to persuade him to start moving again, but instead he leans over you, his chest flush to your back and wraps his right hand around Bucky’s cock, stroking him a couple of times before directing him to your lips.

“Open up wide, darling. Yeah, that’s it. Such a good fucking girl for us.”

You thank him around the mouthful; the vibration of your words causing Bucky to jerk up, but Steve’s hand still wrapped at the base of his cock keeps him down. You peer up at the brunette, eyeing him as you start gently suckling on the head.

“Ugh, fuck’n- shit!”

Steve removes his hand and you switch, bobbing your head as both your eyes and Steve’s keep feasting on the pleasure ridden expression colouring Bucky’s face. A long string of Russian tumbles past his lips, and Steve twitches inside you not even a second before your walls clench down in response.

“You’re such a sucker for her pretty mouth.”

“Fuck. Off. Punk.”

Each word is punctuated by a thrust as Bucky brings his hand to your head, holding you still as he starts to fuck your mouth, slowly going further on each push. Steve cackles, pressing a kiss to your hollowed cheek before he pushes back to his knees and resumes fucking your drenched pussy.

He starts with a soft grind, testing your steadiness as you’re pushed and pulled on them, and once he’s satisfied you can still hold yourself upright, he sets a hard pace; each thrust ending with a dirty roll of his hips when they’re flush against your ass.

You lose yourself between them. Eyes closing as you bask in Steve’s wandering hands - moving, exploring every inch he can reach - and the filthy, lewd praises falling from both men.

“Look so pretty choking on Daddy’s dick.”

“Fuck yeah- cunt sucking me in so nicely, darling.”

“Taking me so good, doll. Gon’ make me come down your thro-oh fuck.”

“My pretty, little whore. Look at you, being fucked on each end, you like that, huh?”

You’re a mumbling mess, moaning your agreements and whining your pleas as you feel another orgasm approaching.

“Hold it. Don’t you dare come yet.”

Bucky is the first to reach his climax. He fists your hair, pulls you close until the light smattering of hair tickles your nose, and groans long and deep; hips jerking lightly as he starts spilling inside your mouth. Steve stops, watches at first until he leans back down, bringing his hand to your neck.

“Shit, Buck. Can feel you in her throat.” With that Bucky pushes one last time, letting you clean him off with tiny, delicate, kitten licks.

Your hips roll back, alerting Steve that you’re ready for him to continue at the same time as Bucky pulls you off; a string of your saliva and his come connecting your swollen lips to his sensitive cock. He moans his praise, resting his ass against the pillows as Steve takes over and pulls you back upright.

His pace is faster now, fucking into you with a renewed vigour as he chases his own release.

Fingers tangled in your messy hair, he angles your face to kiss you hard; tongue pushing past your lips to taste his best friend. His other hand is hooked in the elastic of your panties, using it as leverage as he moves you along his cock, manoeuvring your body and setting the rhythm to his liking. He slows down every time you clench tight around him, bringing you down from your impending high.

“Harder, Stevie. Oh fuck- give it to me, please. Fuck your dirty whore, Captain.”

He grunts at the sound of his name on your breathy, needy moans; the silky robe sticking to your sweaty bodies as he grants your wishes and you melt against him. The elastic snaps on your hip and a growl tears past Steve’s lips and lands on the damp skin of your cheek, his hands both settle on your hips to pull you against his rocking body as he pushes forward faster on each thrust.

Bruises will surely adorn your skin and you already know, you’ll spend your morning marvelling at them.

The feeling of another set of hands on your scorching body has you opening your eyes to find Bucky on his knees again, moving to mold his chest to yours. His metal fingers return to torment your breasts, rolling, pulling, tweaking your nipples until you moan his name, begging for his lips.

He grins at you, slow, seductive and taunting before he brushes the softest of pecks on the tip of your nose, and his right hand wraps gently around your neck, holding you flush to Steve. His thumb presses past your parted lips, teasing your tongue before you start nipping and sucking on it.

“So damn tight. Gon’ make me c-shit.”

“Do it, Stevie.”

Bucky’s attention turns to his best friend, tendrils of his chestnut hair tickling your cheek and jaw as he leans over your shoulder to whisper to him; voice low and husky, honey-coated by the need cursing through his veins. You shudder at the pants hitting your skin.

“Come inside her, Cap. Fill her up and pass her to me. I’ll make sure to fuck your come deep inside that pretty cunt of hers.”

His words are your undoing. Your body seizes up; lips parted as you orgasm harder than you did all night. You claw at Bucky’s back, shoulders, arm, anything you manage to get your hands on, and he chuckles in your ear, holding your shaking body still as Steve comes inside you with a wanton, broken moan.

Somewhere, under the lust clouding your brain, you realize you need air and start drawing in deep, long breaths trying to calm down your racing heart as you fill in your lungs.

Steve and Bucky are kissing over your shoulder again, you glance at them from the corner of your eye, enjoying the feeling of being held up by them and whimpering as the blonde starts thrusting minutely after completely emptying himself. They pull back for air, with ragged breaths and rosy cheeks; they recover way quicker than you - damned super soldiers – and their plump lips attack your neck.

You close your eyes, revelling in the soft caresses of their mouths, the gentle flickers of their tongues and the light nips of their teeth. Your breathing quickens again, you bring your hands to their hair, carding through short blonde strands and tugging on longer chestnut locks. Bucky leans back, catches your eyes in his mesmerising ones and smiles.

“Daddy’s turn.”

Find more here :)

[theweirdymcweirderson]

some very important info re: paid accounts~

I am not a lawyer, but I can decently interpret legalese and, being as I also suffer from tl;dr syndrome and assume others may as well, I took one for the team and went through the updated TOS for the post+ accounts and highlighted (what I understand to be) the most pertinent information, which ultimately comes down to this:

You cannot monetize copyrighted works (aka charge and earn money from fanfic, fanworks, etc) and if you do decide to put your fanworks behind a paywall via Tumblr, when you are inevitably sued, Tumblr will not protect you and will not defend you and you alone, personally, will be responsible for whatever monetary damages said lawsuit results in.

If anyone is a lawyer and knows I've gotten any of this wrong, please do not hesitate to correct me/this post.

Screenshots taken from Tumblr's TOS (updated 7-21-21), Stripe's Account Agreement, and the post+ FAQs.

1. Your paid account will not be hosted by tumblr; it is routed through a 3rd party.

2. By signing up for a paid account, you're entering into an agreement with Stripe, so in addition to Tumblr's TOS, you are also bound to Stripe's TOS.

3. Stripe, like Tumblr, will not defend you or protect you against any lawsuits.

4. Furthermore, you may end up owing Stripe money (indemnify = compensate)

5. Tumblr's TOS specifically states that you can't put any content on your post+ account that violates any laws, including laws that protect intellectual property rights of others. This is super important, because Tumblr's post+ FAQ also states that you can post anything that you would regularly post on tumblr, which I'm sure many will take to mean that gifsets, fanworks, etc are fair game, since all of that stuff can be posted on tumblr now. However, the difference is, you're not making money from the fanworks you're posting or reblogging now. Once money enters the equation, the game changes.

Tumblr is making it seem like any and all content goes for post+ accounts, knowing 90% of this site is fanworks. This is not true and you'll be opening yourself up for lawsuits if you charge for fanworks.

6. Tumblr further disclaims any and all liability in any legal issues.

tl;dr: Please do not make a post+ account, bc you will be opening yourself to lawsuits and if that happens, Tumblr's response will be not our problem, you agreed to all the terms which said you couldn't do that, sorry not sorry. Please protect yourself.

[theweirdymcweirderson]

All is fair in love and war - James B. Barnes

Author: theweirdymcweirderson

Characters: Reader, James B. Barnes

Relationships: Bucky Barnes×Reader

Word count: 2462

Summary: Things heat up during a training session between Bucky and Reader.

Warnings: Pet names, explicit words, teasing, cursing, fighting/training, dirty talk (kinda), innuendos, that stupid metal arm (ugh), kissing, implied smut, seduction 101. That’s it I think, let me know if you find more.

Notes: You may wonder what this is, the answer to that is I don’t know :) But if you feel like leaving me some feedback, I’d really appreciate it. 💖

Ps: English is not my first language, I tried my best, but there might still be some mistakes/weird sentences. Sorry :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A strategy, that’s all it is. Nothing more than a strategy. A strategy that you’ve spent the last couple of weeks working on because, honestly, how long can anyone take this? Every other day, you find yourself lying on your back, sweaty and out of breath, panting up at the same man pinning your body to the sticky mattresses time and time again. That is, if you’re not pinned to something else.

It probably wouldn’t even be so bad if it wasn’t for the smug, self-satisfied grin always painted on his stupidly handsome face.

So yes, you came up with a plan. Granted it’s a stupid, ridiculous, totally not thought-through plan, but at least you are prepared. That’s what everyone keeps telling you anyway. You should always have a plan.

That’s why, this time, as he effortlessly swipes your feet from under you, sending your body to meet the oh so trusty mattress, you don’t try to fight your way back to your feet before his hips are pinning yours down; one elbow landing a breath away from your face as his metal hand wraps around your throat, asserting the dominance you both know he currently has over you.

Yeah, he’s a show-off and you fucking hate him for it.

The smile that spreads on his lips is slow, teasing and 100% meant to get on every single one of your nerves. That’s another thing he excels at. The fucker.

Your chest rises to meet his sweat-dampened one, cause Mr. ‘I’ll always pin you to whatever surface is closest’ prefers working out shirtless – not that you mind – but still: a show off.

“Gotcha.” A quick eyebrow raise, smile widening as his tongue pokes out to make an appearance.

He’s a show-off and a tease. So, well, you kiss him.

Now your plan didn’t go any further than this exact moment and you’re not sure what you were expecting him to do other than be surprised, but it sure as hell wasn’t to kiss you back.

He’s a good kisser, and fucking hell, you should’ve expected that. You should’ve at least guessed from the way he runs his tongue over those lips, the way his teeth sink in them, or even just the easy way they curl around his smile. He smiles like a man who knows how to use those lips.

So, what if you get distracted for a minute or several even? What if your arms encircle his waist and you pull him closer? No one in their right mind would judge you cause he definitely knows how to use those lips.

The position you’re in, or rather his hips pinning your own, limit your movements which is more than a little frustrating – not that you plan on ever admitting that out loud – all you can really do, is wiggle underneath him, until he catches your drift and smoothly manoeuvres to rest between your parted thighs. Bless Sam and his ‘flexibility is fundamental’ policy.

You’d originally thought this would be the long-awaited moment to claim your victory, instead, you find yourself hooking your calf around his thigh, which rewards you with the sweetest, most panty-melting groan you’ve had the pleasure of hearing, and the prominent evidence of how much he’s enjoying the kiss. Now, that, is one hell of a victory.

His hand moves from your neck, fingers tangling in your hair as he cups your head to deepen the kiss and when his tongue asks for entrance, you don’t deem it nice to refuse – seriously that would be rude – so you grant it.

He kisses you until you run out of breath and you find yourself wishing you’d taken on Natasha’s advice to increase your damn lung capacity. You don’t have much time to contemplate that thought, though, because then he’s staring down at you so intently with those pretty, darkened blue eyes and, damn, is it even legal for him to lick his lips like that?

“That wa-” Taking your chance while his guard is down, you don’t give him time to finish.

Hands on his shoulders, you bridge your hips and push him off and to the side, the way Steve showed you during your last sparring session, quickly switching positions and pinning him to the mattress. Your turn for a smug smile.

“-uff. Dirty trick, huh?”

You’d probably be more bothered by the fact that he’s grinning again, if it weren’t for his lips still glistening with the evidence of your kiss. His hands resting comfortably on your waist are a plus.

“Gotcha!”

“Doesn’t count, doll. You cheated.”

You shrug one shoulder, leaning down and mimicking his previous actions; elbow by his head and hand around his neck. You’re starting to understand why he enjoys pinning you down so much. He’s still a show-off, though.

“Gotcha.” You whisper the word, letting your breath tickle the sensitive skin just under his ear and thoroughly enjoying the way his fingers flex on your waist as his breathing stutters ever so slightly. It’s payback and, fine, maybe he’s not the only tease.

“If that’s what it takes, I’m more than willing to let you pin me more often, dollface.” The way the pet name rolls off his tongue this time – smooth, sensual, inviting – has you fighting off the urge to buck your hips. You categorically refuse to give him the satisfaction.

“That’s cute, but we both know your ego could never sustain such a blow, sarge.”

With his head thrown back, you feel the laugh that erupts from him travel all through his body, and fuck, the plan was definitely not thought-through.

“Trust me, my ego is getting one hell of a boost with you perched up there, doll.”

He makes a show of letting his eyes suggestively travel to the place you’re sitting on, making you hyper aware of the delectable way his bulge looks in his damned, black shorts. Yep, okay, time to get up before you make a fool out of yourself.

“Don’t get cheeky with me, sergeant.” A slap to his chest accompanies your words and the hard pecs you’re met with, have your core clenching involuntarily. He’s just so solid; it’s unfair. Like really unfair.

Before you have the time to redirect your thoughts to something more decent – he is your teammate after all, for crying out loud – he brings his hands under your thighs, lifting your body as he sits up and slams you down between his parted thighs, effectively knocking the breath out of you.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, doll.”

You grunt back something intelligible, sticking up your middle finger for him to chuckle at as he gets back to his feet. God, you really do hate his skilled and overly attractive ass. When you crack open an eye, you find his hand dangling in front of your face: a peace offering. Grasping the metal appendage, you let him pull you back upright and head for your water bottle; Barnes still has 27 minutes and 19 seconds to thoroughly torture your ass before you can call it a day. Yay.

Your back is met with the wall this time, because he likes to spice things up. You huff out indignantly, struggling against the vice grip holding both of your wrists plastered to the wall padding. Why are his hands so big, anyway? Honestly, that’s just unnecessary. You feel like screaming your frustration cause he’s not even using the metal hand and, yet, you can’t make him budge.

“You’re getting better at this.”

Praying for your body not to betray the effect his praise has on you, you flash him your most saccharine, sarcastic smile. “What can I say, Steve’s a great teacher. Gon let me go now, or what?”

Your attitude will be your undoing one day, that’s for sure.

Instead of loosening his grip, he slots his thigh between your legs, spreading them in the process as your hips are pinned to the wall as well. His breathing is ragged and you wish, but you know it’s not due to exertion; you still have a long road ahead of you before your fighting skills manage to exert a super soldier. Still, you’ll take what you can and, now, it’s your ego’s turn to get one hell of a boost.

You don’t dare break eye contact, staring right back at him defiantly. No way you’re backing down. When you feel the almost-there touch of his metal fingers caressing their way up your thigh, you consider caving for a fraction of a second, but then that grin just has to make another damn appearance. Well, fuck him.

“I’m dying to see how you get out of this one, dollface.” His gaze locks on your parted lips. You know what he expects, what he wants, and you also know that he’ll never cave either.

Your voice sounds just as strained and husky as his when you finally manage to get enough moisture back in your dry mouth to answer.

“What if I don’t want to, sergeant?” It’s mocking, provoking and instead of taking it back, your shoulders relax against the wall, pushing your chest forward as your back arches invitingly.

Yeah, your attitude will certainly be your undoing.

His dark eyes find yours again, at the same time his metal hand lands just under your ribcage and his other hand tugs your wrists upwards. You groan at the change in posture; every muscle in your body tensing as you find yourself barely able to reach the ground with your tiptoes.

“Don’t fuck with me, doll.” Huh, you wish.

James fucking Barnes is holding your body suspended in the air. If you were to relax, you’d end up straddling his thigh and the fucker makes it abundantly clear that he knows that by purposefully contracting his quad. Your ego stops you from accepting the tempting invitation.

If your brain wasn’t currently swallowed by a cloud of lust, you would actually be more than a little mortified by the fact that he has you melting against his rock-hard body as muscle fatigue starts to set in.

You don’t know how, and you certainly don’t know why, since your body is rather enjoying the feeling of his, but you manage to use his hold on your wrist as leverage and your knee comes up to awkwardly connect with his side. The movement takes him by surprise and he loses his footing trying to keep you from falling.

You end up back on the mattress in a tangled mess of limbs. The timer going off makes you jump lightly, but neither of you moves to pull away. Somewhere in the background, under the obscene fantasies now running wild in your head, you remember that you’re still in the gym. Anyone could walk in at any fucking second.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, doll.” You throw back his words at him and if the answering growl you receive is anything to go by, he doesn’t find you as funny as you find yourself. Oh well. You shrug, sitting back upright on his lap as he lets his head hit the mattress; eyes closing. The privileged seat is kind of starting to grow on you.

“Bucky?”

“Hmmm?” It’s more of an annoyed grunt than a hum, his nostrils flaring as he opens his eyes to find you glancing behind him to check if anyone is there to witness what is going on.

“How’s the ego doing?”

“You really wanna know the answer to that?”

He shifts his hips slightly, catching you off guard and you end up positioned right on top of the delectable bulge that was previously teasing you.

Oh yeah, something is growing on you alright.

Schooling your facial expression as best as you can because – sweet baby pandas, neither his shorts nor yours do anything to conceal what and how much he is packing – you force your eyes to stay on his daring ones. This is the moment of truth: every single, tiny, teasing taunt you’ve exchanged today culminates in this. You, him, your core pressed to his bulge and his lust-darkened eyes boring into yours; you’re going to combust.

“Well then, nothing to worry about I guess. So- ehm, time’s up, you plan on letting me go or what?”

“Maybe…” His hold on your thighs tightens the slightest bit, betraying his words and keeping you rooted in place. “If you ask nicely.”

You huff out a laugh, eyebrows rising incredulously, because he has to know that you’d rather spend the night sitting on his lap than beg. There is no way in hell, heaven and everything in between. At least, you like to think so.

“Sure, in your dreams, pal.”

He sits up then, and all you can think about is how strong his core muscles must be. Does this man ever tire? Apparently not.

“Oh, I’m counting on it, doll. Always sound so damn pretty, too.” That takes you by surprise. You know what his words imply and, suddenly, your brain is flooded back with all those indecent thoughts about your teammate.

Your forefinger finds his chest and you push back, needing to put some space between you and his scorching, hot body in order for your brain to resume functioning properly.

“Well, guess what? If you let me go now, you’ll have just enough time to squeeze in a nap before dinner time.” His back connects loudly with the mat as he unceremoniously falls back down; hands pillowing his head as he stares up at you with a boyish grin.

You lift yourself off of him as gracefully as you can, and just before you stand back to your feet, you lean closer one last time; your finger back on his chest and slowly making its way south. Yep, those abs are as strong as you always guessed them to be. “You should know, though, that I sound much, much better in real life.”

Flashing him a sultry smile, you stand up and revel in the groan that echoes your confession.

“Who’s being cheeky now, huh, doll?”

You don’t turn to look at him, eyeing him in the mirror and enjoying the way his eyes are glued to your retreating figure as he adjusts himself with his metal hand. For some reason, which you do not care to dwell on, that simple action gets you hot all over.

“Sweet dreams.” You toss the words over your back, calming down the raging zoo in your ribcage before you add. “That is, unless you rather get a taste of the real thing, sarge.”

The invitation is followed by a second of silence; then a curse, a thud and some more colourful words reach your ears, before the mat squeaks under Bucky’s footsteps as he rushes to catch up.

Find more stuff here <3

[theweirdymcweirderson]

Hero complex - James B. Barnes

Author: theweirdymcweirderson

Characters: Reader, James B. Barnes

Relationships: Bucky Barnes×Reader

Word count: 926

Summary: While on the run Bucky and the Reader encounter a bit of trouble.

Warnings: Pet names, explicit words, teasing, cursing, blood, bullet wound, idiots in love (hehehe). That’s it I think, let me know if you find more.

Notes: You may wonder what this is, the answer to that is I don’t know :) But if you feel like leaving me some feedback, I'd really appreciate it. 💖

Ps: English is not my first language, I tried my best, but there might still be some mistakes/weird sentences. Sorry :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A groan tears through your raw throat as you’re giving yourself a mental pep-talk trying to prepare for what is coming and knowing, much to your dismay, that it’s not going to help at all.

“You know, hiding is kinda useless if you keep making noise.”

“Oh, sorry my fucking pain is such a fucking nuisance to you. It’s not like I have a damn hole in my arm from saving your fucking ass.”

“Never asked you to, doll.”

Bucky sends a saccharine smile your way, before he turns back around to make sure no one has found your hideout yet. If you weren’t smack in the middle of the enemy’s lair, you would give him a piece of your mind, but knowing how little it takes for your disputes to escalate, you swallow down your retort and focus on getting the bullet out.

Fuck. FUCK! Fuck me and my fucking need to help his ungrateful fucking ass.

Your teeth sink in the flesh just under your bottom lip, trapping in your scream of pain as shaky fingers dig in your bicep; slippery with blood, the bullet keeps escaping your grasp and it makes you want to shout your frustration to the high heavens. Too bad you can't.

Once sure that you’re safe enough for the moment, Bucky glances back to check how you’re doing. You haven’t lost too much blood, which is the only upside of your predicament. Tears are on the verge of falling from your eyes, and he feels a pang of guilt in the pit of his stomach.

He crouches down next to you and takes your hand away; you give him a confused glare but don’t comment as he sets to retrieve the bullet himself. You hiss as he first touches the wound and his disapproving eyes find yours.

“Sorry. Want me to fucking die quieter?”

“You’re not going to die. Stop being so dramatic.”

You feel an unimaginable need to stick your tongue out at him, but since his fingers are about to dig inside the hole in your arm, you decide against it. There’ll be plenty of time for that later.

“Bite down on something, this is gonna hurt.”

He’s right, his fingers are bigger than yours, but with the pain making you dizzy you can’t summon the strength to pull it out yourself. Whoever said that there’s strength in numbers, never stopped to consider how weakening getting used to the possibility of relying on others could be.

You bite down on your uninjured hand, hoping for the pain you’re causing yourself to trick your brain from focusing on the pain Bucky is about to unintentionally inflict. It’s useless, you already know that.

Bucky's eyes find your face, wanting to give you a heads up before starting, and his stomach fills with dread at the realisation of just how screwed he is.

You're scrunching your eyes closed, teeth gnawing on your hand and he shouldn't, really, it's not the time for such thoughts, not when you're bleeding and in pain and – fuck, what if they find you? But he takes his time and commits the small details of your face to his memory.

Flushed cheeks, wet with the tears you've tried to push back; irritated lips bitten raw in your attempt at reigning in the pain; clammy skin, dampened by the cold sweat you both worked up during the chase; Bucky knows he'll never get another chance to be so up close to you.

He drowns the thought urging him to push the stray strands of hair stuck to your face and clears his throat; professionalism is his strongest suit.

“On three.”

You nod once, pull in a long, shuddering breath through your nose and sink your teeth a little deeper in your hand. Completely, undeniably useless; the second his forefinger digs in to locate the foreign object, you feel your soul on the verge of leaving your body.

Fucking hero complex.

The suffering comes out as a sobbing whimper, and your widened eyes find Bucky's face; teeth releasing your limb because – that trick never work, does it?

He's even more handsome up close. Straight nose and full, plump lips. Your brain focuses on counting the light dusting of freckles across his skin; marvels at the long lashes creating the softest of shadows on each delicate flutter. Oh, he’s prettypretty.

Bucky glances up, your eyes lock and for a second he actually seems taken aback by your staring. One beat. Two.

His eyes are so bright and so dull at the same time.

The shadows of his past cloud the pools of blue Steve has told you about. You knew that, knew what to expect when they made you teammates; listened, memorised and dreamt of all the information Natasha and Tony had given you. He’s a ghost story and yet…

You try to blink away the thoughts, afraid he might catch on to your inner ramblings. One blink. Two.

His fingers pull out the bullet and your nails dig in his quad with everything you have left. Neither of you can tell when your hand found his thigh. He doesn't complain, though, doesn't even flinch at the action.

“What the fuck happened to ‘on three’?”

His lips tilt at the corners, if he wasn't a breath away, you would never have caught the action.

“Changed my mind.”

“You're the fucking worst.”

“And you're fucking welcome, doll. Now, shut up before you get us caught.”

You roll your eyes and stick your tongue out at his back. Ungrateful ass.

Find more stuff here <3

[theweirdymcweirderson]

to everyone else in school right now: 

please use sparknotes. please use khan academy. please listen to school house rock songs and watch the history of the entire world i guess and tim and moby and bill nye. any documentary you watch in class can be found somewhere online with a quick google. get your books from project gutenberg and z-lib. download textbooks off the internet whenever you can find them. use desmos for a free online graphing calculator. if you’re learning something and you don’t get it look up the wikipedia page on it and put it into simple english to get the gist, then put it back into regular english to get the full story. cheat if you have to. school sucks so bad rn and if you’re like me and you get all your materials secondhand or from the lost and found, online resources are really useful rn; all of the above have helped me pass a class in some way, and i hope they can help you too.

stay inside and stay safe. best of luck to all the students out there. 

[theweirdymcweirderson]

has anyone else noticed that jensen ackles tends to favor one particular pose

i like to call it the ‘lean n’ spread’

this here is jensen ackles 

Keep reading

[theweirdymcweirderson]

This has no business being as funny as it is.

i said i would and i did. so here it is: every time sam says “lore���

[theweirdymcweirderson]

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