truthfullyshattered

[truthfullyshattered]

“You have to find the right distance between people. Too close, and they overwhelm you, too far and they abandon you.”

— Hanif Kureishi, Intimacy

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Just because someone has multiple degrees does not mean they have good sense

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What is equality really because there are those who are held to a standard which all should be held accountable too but then their are those who get special privileges as to say that they are above codes of conduct. If something is to be enforced than that's what it should be. Those who follow gray areas and think of themselves as the exception totally defeats its own purpose in the grand scheme of it all. If a rule be in place for the safety of all (Not talking about the jab. Your body is a temple and the government has no right to tell you what to put in it) then that rule should be in place for all. If not then this creates hypocrisy. It only would make sense to those in power.

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*Am I pleasing God?*

Currently learning to maneuver with discipline

As well as concentration in order

To perfect my steps

As the Lord guides them

Every thought or feeling does not require an action

But first thought of every possible outcome

Although we walk in a unappreciative society of aliens

We must still play are part of the story that was given at birth

You know every good work does not have to be satisfying

And every bad work does not always feel good

You must create a balance

In who you are

Not overly spiritual and not totally blinded of wickedness

Live your life in the truth and watch as you prosper

The truth hurts those who do not love it

That's especially true even if your free or bond

No matter what you must rejoice in the truth

Even if it is a hard truth

The wounds of truth will heal and make better but the wounds of deceit are bitter

Slowly I change into who I am

Admiring the lives God has put together but never envying them.

An outcast shunned from all that was decent is now powering through

With the strength of the Lord keeping me afloat.

I do not know if I am pleasing to you O God but I try my best to be better than before

Before it is too late

So on this day and those moving forward

Grant me repentance unto you

So i may suffer no more.

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*The mystery that eludes me*

As back in my day

The social outlet

Was Myspace

And just as Myspace

Had a feature called top friends

The same is true when it comes to people

People will categorize

Each other in a predetermined space

Categorizing the importance one has to them

There are moments where someone could

Care about someone way more than that person

Cares or values them

That's not say the feeling is not mutual

Im just saying that a persons priority toward you

May differ from your level of priority

People will change for the better for people they

Love and than their are those that do not value

On such a level because their self or others

May be a higher category than you

The time you give and the effort of sacrifice

Given is a key indication of where you fit into

Someones life

No amount of effort can sway ones opinion

On the matter

Just as some people love the fact that you

Love them so deeply that you don't have to

Love them back.

Even if your married

That does not nessisarly mean that your at the

Top of someones category

For example when some people get married

They stop producing effort within their partner

As if to say I got you now so I don't have to

Pay attention to you as much.

Have you ever seen a person with no friends claim

One friend as their best friend and that friend may

Have many friends and just see them as another

Friend

You see rather if people know or don't know

The fact of the matter is they categorize people

Some may hold different spots in our hearts than

Others

I truly believe to some degree we can feel the

Hearts and intents of others

Which is partly why there are many people in this

World but so many that feel that they are alone

Because no matter how well you explain how

You feel

There is no one that could understand it exactly

100 percent

Because although they could sympathize or relate

They never could fully know

You can be apart of many things and still

Feel as though you don't belong

I say that it is partially that one knows this truth

While the other half is self

Because it is possible that one can be

Surrounded by love and yet still not

Receive love do to self problems from within

But either way

We are categorized

Which is why we may be able to share some

Information to a small group

And not to others

Thats ok because not everyone deserves to know

You on such a level

You could know someone your whole life

And then met a complete stranger tomorrow

And that stranger make you feel closer to them

Than that person you've known your whole entire

Life

It is an important truth but humans do not love

Everyone equal

I don't care how spiritual you are

You will do for your children before you do

For someone else

The love is not equal

No matter how much someone may try

And portray that it is

Belonging is mystery that continues to elude me

Forgive me

But i know this to be true

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*A poem about nothing*

All I can be is me.

All that's left is me

All, All, All

The journey is half over and idk why

Or how it is all for

Belonging is subjective

Being is subjective

Our right to fight is subjective

Through who's eyes are you?

To whom will do you belong?

I am here

I am gone

I was

And

I wasn't

Joy

Peace

Love

Or

Torment?

To whom do you belong

To where does life carry the unwanted?

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*The ignorant woman*

In do time I'll fade away

I do not need your help

Nor will i allow any to destroy my legacy

Although the ungrateful seem to prosper

Do not envy their ways

For I've lived long enough

To take care of people of my own

Just for them to pretend as if

I did nothing

But obviously enough

I was once the taker

So it is only fitting that I feel

The same remorse

Oh dear Lord the pain of ignorant woman

Is as a thorn of bushels

I'd soak my cover in tears if I had any left

To give

It is better to live on the corner of a rooftop

Then to be in a wide open home with a brawling

Woman

Give not your strength unto a woman

And flee from fornication

[truthfullyshattered]

*Cut the root already*

Catching a glimpse of all my wrong

Another one of those late night sad songs

If the sands of beach time could fall

Back

I'd jump on the first ship toward cuzap

And poof another chance at life

With the exception of the cheat codes

Within my very own personal memories

Of all my mistakes

Taking them all back and doubling up

On the more positive courses of action

That lead to better beginnings and angle

Like endings

Soulfully returning to my wasted youth

That through ignorance became a net

Without safety

To secure the victory

We must cut it all at the root

That disgusting root that is to blame

For poor life decisions

And it's named You

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*The wrong person*

She is a overwhelming sea of chaotic emotion without fail. When im alone im at peace but with her she will be the destruction of my ship. I now know that what i have is a lie and in the face of my enemies they mock at the fact that they don't have to do a thing in order to wound me but wait and see how she casually slits the throat of the provider that God sent. The coolness of my calm has become a hot furnace and with every second that increases so does the eruption. Though they say ignorance is bliss, i'd say it's only bliss toward the one who holds on to it but to ones around it is damage taken unto the health.

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*Silent but deadly*

At last the tornado of grief has come to a calm but was then thrown into the sea of unappreciation. As many marveled they pointed and laughed at he who they had deemed a captive of oppression. Just an obstacle was he. Yet he had did so many things for the crowd who cheered on his departure. Now many people in the faith be confused when they believe themselves to be something that their not. For the humble are blessed and the proud be resisted. A thin line is drawn to separate the real from the fake. A sinner will be authentically themselves without restraint because they know no better. A man and woman of God is transformed by God daily. They don't become fake but they forsake wickedness and depart from evil. The belonging is something man came up with because all that are of Gods belong. There is no division in the body of Christ but their are those who but on religious garments and fake the walk with Christ. Envying and hating the real followers. To them that be real than be real. To them that fake examine yourself. You were called to be like Christ with all your uniqueness he gave you.

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*It isn't over*

The base of this year cannot compare to exceeding growth of the next. What is your ceiling now will later become your basement. Set the tone of each day and never live a defeated life. Once you overcome yourself and trust in God to provide all you'll need for the journey, you will finally understand that once we get ourselves out of the equation of life we begin to truly live. Lets provide our Lord with constant prayer and communication along the way and he will guide every decision. Lets change for the better!

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Psalm 37:23-24 The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

Proverbs 16:9 We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

God is always looking to take us to higher heights. He wants us to grow and increase in every area of life. Change is often a catalyst for growth in our lives, it keeps us from getting stuck in a rut. God will supernaturally open and close doors to keep us on the path toward our destiny. He will stir us out of comfortable situations. You may be in a perfectly fine situation for years, but just as He opened that door, all of a sudden He closes it, nothing happens by accident. God is directing your steps. That means if you go through a setback you can either embrace that change and God will use it to take you higher, or you can resist it and end up settling for mediocrity. Stay open to change, it may be negative on the surface, but remember that God would not allow it if He didn't have a purpose for it. If you will embrace that change, the winds that you thought would defeat you will actually push you to your divine destiny

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*Move Forward*

The collection of memories and experiences. How does the past effect your future? Often there are people looking back more than they are looking ahead and have become frozen in time if you will. Looking back for too long can be a silent killer of your future. You can never become if your so focused on what was. To grieve in natural but to stay in that grief for the rest of your life is not. Im not saying that wound that your facing isn't deep. Im just saying that the healing must begin at some point and even when we heal there are still old scabs and scars that remain. Even so you must get up and press forward because no one can make the choice for you but you. Not trying is also a form of giving up. You have to take baby steps in order to get anywhere. If not than you are just standing still and if something that's supposed to be alive is not moving than 9 times out of 10 it's already dead. You have to move. Get busy living and stop looking back. You can not change what was but you can help mold what will be. You literally can wake up 10 years from now and still be in the same spot and you know what's even worse is you'll never get that time back. Ever hear the saying do it right the first time? A word of advice for if you are young. Forsake irrational fear and anxiety. Be the best you that you can possibly be. Don't worry about who's for you and who's not because time will indeed weed them out. Be brave and courageous in your youth and never settle for less than you deserve.

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*Be Free*🙏🙏🙏🙌🙌🙌

There's healing in the name of God

Hallelujah to the king

The lamb of God

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*Poetry into prayer*

Shredded Tears for the man that knows not God. For it is a ache like no other. A voided cast of a man who silently suffers. Has a heart ever cried without physical tears? Surly this life has become a burden. What is the spirit of heaviness to a faint heart. Only enduring with last minute rations only too discover how long they've been standing still. It is colossal knowing the dynamics of your earthy being but have no idea to where you fit into the grand scheme of it all. May they suffer but may God have mercy. Yet another day that passes by with no real output. How long must the journey be in order to accomplish the role you'd play in an unseen future. Faith is all that is there and nothing else. Surely the pain was not in vain. Lets try and pick up the slack. Though the body be heavy the spirit can be made light. As long as you live there will be obstacles to overcome and this feeling is no different. How much longer must the people suffer in order for it all to be fulfilled? I but a single human as an instrument will admit that im indeed tired. The atmosphere wants to shift into a depression but i will not allow it. Stating things can be just as bad as proclaiming them if it comes from a place of ignorance but from the inner depths of within im definitely tired. The confessions of a fatigued soldier. Oh how great will it be once all of this is removed from me but until then I press forward allowing my gifts and talents to do the talking. Never to brag or boast but if any must brag or boast, let all bragging and boasting be about how great is Our God. We lift our hands and surrender our will oh God. Help us in our seasons of trial and we will run as light as a feather once more again. So give me the strength as well as the patients to overcome in Jesus name amen...

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*The Pair God saw before creation*

Two worlds collide into one

With all experiences leading us toward this point

It is laughable at the things our partner does

And as time passes on

You begin to see what God is doing

He is the potter and we are the clay

All smiles

As we transcended into the glorious light

There was once a time as children where we were

The ones getting used, abused, mistreated

And bullied

And now

We have grown into the parents

With children of our own

Channeling our inner child

In order to be the adult that we needed as children

Ourselves

And although we may trip, fall and hit snags

We always persevere

And here it is

Our duty as parents is to create more exceedingly

Better days

Than bad ones

For our children

You see its what we go through

That will in return become a blessing for them

And they will not have to experience some

Of your old experience because God has chosen

A pair of parents that know what its like to be

The underdog

And with our stories and testimonies

Our children will prosper from it

And become even better parents than we ever

Could be

So finally the goal is for them to far surpass even

Us and become the very best versions

Of themselves that they were always created to be

We all need to show our children what true love

Really looks like

So they won't have to pick up broken pieces

Be selfless

Not selfish

Your life is not your own

Period

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*Cycle of Emotion*

Endless cycle

Of emotions

That carry

There just desserts

With and without warning

At the same time it gives meaning

As well as hinders

Productivity

Oh

Ye

Emotions that channel actions

We now lay control over thee

As a child with wisdom

Should

Enduring but never enticed

Will we scavenge forward.

Toward the light of Christ

No matter the feeling

No matter the emotion