vasito-de-leche - Tumblr blog

[vasito-de-leche]

This is not a major spoiler for reverse 1999 from CN, but feel free to delete this from your asks or memories if you want to.

(2.2 SPOILERS)

*whispers* Arcana was referred to using they/them pronouns.

(For those that don’t want spoilers, could you just crop the bottom part out? Thank you! Also love your work ❤️)

This isn't a spoiler free blog, so don't worry! And thank you, glad you like my stuff!

The only patch I haven't seen so far is 1.9 because I'm waiting for it to hit GL soon, so I only know the big events that happen just not how or the details surrounding it. But I'm caught up with the rest of CN patches!

And judging by how lacking Bluepoch has been in terms of general diversity lately, I personally don't think they have the balls to throw gender neutral pronouns for Arcana in the nonbinary way I want them to lol.

Especially because Sophia, who has experienced everything that happened in Apeiron during 1.9, possibly became the new Oracle and leader of Manus and has directly interacted with Arcana and heard her plans, ALSO uses the reverential capitalization "They" capital T in 2.2's "Tristes Tropiques" trailer.

So my bet is that they're referring to the figure of the Sufferer instead--which sure, we know is strongly hinted to be Arcana because of the Foundation's reports on Manus Vindictae and the themes of revival throughout the 2.0 series.

But we still don't know how much of her this Sufferer will be, so it's more like addressing a stranger, a concept of a distant deity detached from the Arcana we know entirely, rather than establishing "hey, this character who looks stereotypically feminine doesn't adhere to the gender binary."

[vasito-de-leche]

Is there any requirement to join the R1999 RP server you mentioned?

not at all! as long as you're old enough to use social media/discord, then you're fine!

here's an invite if you're interested in joining, you're free to join just to chill and talk about r99 and r99 OCs!

[vasito-de-leche]

Hiii and helloo! I need some help <3

I've been working on a little thing, a very short interactive fic here on tumblr inspired by an upcoming event in the R99 RP server in which Sotheby hosts a masquerade ball for everyone!

The interactive part would be simple. At the end of each section you will be given two or three choices; depending on what you do or where you go, you will end up with a character or another! I have the layout organized, it would be very straightforward, with just a handful of choices. But I need help figuring out how to best post these!

On one hand, I could post them all at once so that people can "play" from beginning to end. But they're 18 posts total, and I wouldn't want to clog the main tag or anyone's feeds. This also means that people might accidentally read them out of order.

On the other hand, I could post them little by little, like 2 or so posts per day. But that means people would have to wait to get to the final result, and they may forget about it.

[vasito-de-leche]

do you have any plans on who you want to pull in the future patches? i'm honestly torn because of all the future characters are so cool but there's also lucy and yeahhh🫠🫠

my priority number one is pulling for every hot guy that shows up. my second priority is limited characters so I can care even less about meta. my third priority, WHICH can override the former two is: if this character becomes my beloved blorbo during the story, I will pull for them

SO RIGHT NOW LET'S SEE ... I got Isolde because the RP server convinced me that she and Pavia could have insane sibling dynamics to yell about, but I don't know about Marcus enough and her design is not as interesting to me. I WAS going to pull for Vila and Windsong, but then I watched 2.0 and I'm entirely ignoring 1.8 to save up for Lucy, Joe AND Mercuria <3

[vasito-de-leche]

HIIII OMG WELCOME BACK I THOUGHT U WREE DEADD

how are you?? the new update just dropped and i'm so excited to see isolde!!

HIIII <3 not dead, just busy! I also got veeeery veeery addicted to just chilling in the RP server and drawing for artfight so I didn't have time to write stuff for the blog so ty for checking in!!! I'm doing great, ty ty o7

I opened the game as soon as I saw the notif that maintenance is over and my record of winning 50/50 remains untouched hehe, beloved isolde. I love love love main story updates and I know about the special little appearance of a special little character at the very end, so expect me to go deranged over that too

[vasito-de-leche]

;R1999 - "this suitcase, livelier than it ever was"

Timekeeper Team x Reader 1.4k words fluff, comfort, found family Day or night. In the morning, in the evening, in the afternoon. Inside, where it's warm, or outside, where it's cold. Home is wherever your newfound, little family is.

this is something that started on the r1999 roleplay server, a little collaborative writing moment we had. I wanted to expand on it with this slightly new format because it makes me. so deranged to think about the domesticity of living in vertin's suitcase with everyone else, all of your friends <3

this is just the early morning version! but we also talked about the afternoon and night time hehehoho. shoutout to everyone who was there for the nuclear bombs that were dropped that day, we did it we survived!!!

It's early in the morning, and you smell the scent of warm food before the sun hits your eyes.

Despite the voices, you know who is in the kitchen just by smell alone; this is Bunny Bunny's special pancake recipe, the one she learned from her grandmother. Those are the two, maybe three pots of coffee being brewed at once for Horropedia, Bette, Kaalaa Baunaa and more. There are footsteps echoing all over the building, they come from above on the up and down, from left and right.

You don't feel the need to get dressed and be presentable before leaving your room, your pajamas work just as well. Right away, you see Blonney, her long, blonde hair tangled up in knots, ushering Jessica into one of the bathrooms, the cleanest one in this floor; they do this all the time, this is their routine. You know it'll be an hour or two before they finish, but if you're nice, they will let you join them. Jessica notices you right away and waves with an endearingly big smile across her face. She tells you that Blonney is going to groom her fur today, since they have a photoshoot for one of her projects.

Blonney follows her gaze, she gestures for you to "hurry and get your ass in here with them if you want her to do your hair" in a way that a stranger would perceive as hostile. But you're no stranger, you know of the hidden, sisterly affection in her words. And you also know better than to intrude whenever one of her movie projects is involved. The door shuts behind them after you politely decline. The last thing you hear is Jessica's muffled voice bidding you goodbye.

It's early in the morning, and your hair is a mess. There's another bathroom down the hall, but that's usually where the children of the suitcase go to see who is the fastest at brushing their teeth and washing their face--you'd rather not come out of there, wet and covered in toothpaste. Your other option is an even bigger gamble; there is a mirror in Pavia's room, but catching him in a good mood is the tricky part. For all you know, he's not even there, and he's one of the very few people who still lock their doors. Even so, he has no issue barging into your room unannounced every so often.

Regulus it is, then. You know she's awake because of the shrill sound of her music, a permanent vibration in the walls that all of her neighbors have grown used to. The smile on her face is big and welcoming once she opens the door to greet you, she says you look like shit and lends you her hair brush. Mr APPLe is not with her this time, but you know that he's the one making sure that Regulus wakes up in time for breakfast--a pirate needs to be quick to eat, he would say, and she would then repeat this to you.

You walk with Regulus towards the kitchen. You have to step over many of the forgotten toys scattered throughout the hallways. You nod in greeting to Zima, who always walks nearest to the wall, as if to avoid being in anyone's personal space. In his hands, he holds a small plate of pastries and a cup, his companion Zima--the bird-- pecks away at the small crumbs. It chirps at you and the two return to their room.

It's early in the morning, and you sit down with all the friends from all over the world that you've made ever since Vertin took you in. The Timekeeper herself sits across from your spot, discussing the puzzles in today's newspaper with Sonetto. A plate of pancakes is set down on the table, just for you, with the toppings that you love and the perfect amount that you usually eat. When you look up, you see Tooth Fairy smiling down at you; today, she's the one helping Bunny Bunny, tomorrow it will be someone else as the schedule pinned on the fridge indicates. Your turn won't come in a while, but you know that tonight you're in charge of doing the dishes with Leilani.

Something touches your leg, and you lean down to see the twins, Luisa and Louise, attempting to feed gummy bears to Pickles, who solemnly looks away each and every time the sweet candy nears his mouth. Eventually, he trots off and they chase after him, surprising and almost knocking Oliver out of his chair. Some laugh, some call out to the kids, some point out the sudden flushed look on the boy's face.

Regulus asks for seconds, and she fights with Centurion over the biggest, tastiest looking pancake in the batch; this is a contest Regulus knows she can't win, yet she tries anyway. The pancake ends on Centurion's plate before anyone can even understand how, luck always on the gambler's side--but she still goes out of her way to cut it in half and share with the pirate. When she catches your eye, she offers you some, she even suggests that you add hot sauce to enhance the flavor. If you didn't know any better, you'd assume she was joking, but she isn't.

You decline, and someone else takes your place. Shamane rests a hand on the back of your chair, leaning forward from behind you to reach out and take a small piece of hot sauce covered pancake from Centurion's plate. His voice is booming, happy and energetic, and it remains so even after the combination renders his taste buds useless. You quickly offer your own glass of water and he takes it gladly as another round of laughter begins around the table.

Now that Shamane has indulged in the shenanigans, the children follow suit; Kanjira stands on her chair, offering to try the food as well, but Matilda pulls her down by the arm, shaking her head in both disappointment and genuine concern. Erick is next, then Eagle. It's only when Bunny Bunny threatens to hold off dessert that the table calms down.

On your left, Druvis III sits quietly, enjoying the atmosphere. When you first met her, you assumed her to be the solitary type, preferring the comfort of her trees than a room full of people. But now you understand her a little better. She notices you glancing her way and asks if you slept well, falling into a pleasant conversation with you. She mentions an outing with Sotheby, a small excursion to the wilderness to search for ingredients; if you'd like, you're welcome to join them. This is a genuine sentiment, not an invitation that she extends out of politeness, having been raised among other nobles and aristocrats, an environment in which every little detail came with hidden, ulterior motives. You tell her that you will, if you have time--Spathodea has asked you to spot her while she trains, since Desert Flannel is too busy with her many, many jobs today.

Right! And after that, you might have a mission with Charlie and The Fool! And then, after that, you want to rest before Baby Blue's tea party. Druvis III listens attentively, praising you for having the energy to do so much in so little time. A small voice jumps in, Cristallo informs you that Baby Blue's tea party has been moved--it will happen in two days from now on, after an accident involving Diggers and his bubbles rendered greenhouse unusable, covered in foam and his special bubble solution.

Tooth Fairy gasps ever so gently, like she just remembered something small, like her keys on the table; but she comments on how her instructions, paired with Horropedia's ideas, might have pushed Diggers down the wrong path. Gossip runs fast, and everyone quickly wants to know what sort of shenanigans Tooth Fairy would even entertain in the first place.

There is much on your mind, so many things to notice and look forward to, that you don't notice Erick stealing a strawberry from your plate. When you look out the window, you see the silhouettes of your other friends in the fields or perched by the trees.

A pair of curious eyes land on you.

You look healthier, happier even--a strong contrast to the state you were in when she found you. Vertin smiles, she knows exactly how you feel. It's the same for her, after all.

[vasito-de-leche]

Arcana is so trans to me but not the mtf trans but like eldritch horror being realized that she likes to be perceived as a mortal woman

nonnie we are holding hands, we share the same vision, the same dream, the same eldritch transgenderism <3

there was a tweet recently (I think it was a tweet?) about a very specific type of character design--non sexualized, nude humanoids presented as otherwordly and entirely alien, off kilter, merging monstruous characteristics and that's exactly what I love and think about when it comes to the thing Arcana summons, the Guiding One's Creation

Arcana is so transgender to me in a very specific way of using the feminine figure as a way of both luring and keeping everyone at bay <33333

[vasito-de-leche]

In the r1999 self aware au, does any external content like ‘Xtreme Talent’ count for self awareness. Like, would X remember himself saying Xtreme talents on YouTube? Or does it not at all? This also applies to the music videos such as ‘Unexpected Storm’ and ‘Take Me Back to You’. Would any of the characters show memories of being in those music videos?

if you want to take those into consideration for your own iterations, go ahead! o7

personally, taking into account external content in self aware AUs makes the concept less interesting to me, so I prefer to contain it to just the app/game rather than everything related to the franchise

[vasito-de-leche]

i like to think that Pavia is trans in the way that he will always have boobs no matter how he trans he's just a guy who finds breasts incredibly attractive on him

extremely fair o7! I like to think his relationship with gender and orientation are just as casual as his approach to society: one huge "who fucking cares, I do what I want," so anything goes <3

[vasito-de-leche]

transwoman Druvis and gay Forget Me Not ruins my life and makes my head bang the walls (lovingly)

RIGHT???? RIGHTTTTTTTT??????? I love that ship so much when there's always something irreconcilable between them and when they're extremely divorced

[vasito-de-leche]

Your writing is my new craving. It’s some of the best stuff I’ve read for headcannons & analysis on here.

Can you please do Tennant if you can ?🙏 Just anything about her would be great!

❤️❤️❤️

;R1999 TENNANT - "when morning comes"

Tennant x Reader 1.4k words fluff You are Tennant's most precious diamond -- if you won't take care of yourself, then it is up to her to set things right. Nevermind her ulterior motives, nor the desire to keep you all to herself. She promises that her intentions are pure, and you believe her. The world can wait, you deserve some rest.

this was gonna be a little longer, with tennant disappearing and you running off to find her because That's Your Wife And Youre Very Stubborn but I chose to keep this fluffy instead o7

consider this tennant's part of the sleepy time fic saga <3

Life feels like a dream.

No, that is much too vague. It feels like the fluffiest cloud you could ever imagine. It's the softest silks and rich, velvet fabrics enveloping your bare skin, protecting you from everything and anything that could harm you. The perfect temperature of a sunny day, not too cold and not too hot, but just right.

To any outsiders, your glee and happiness are nothing but the byproduct of madness, the folly of a delusional mind. And you laugh at this notion, because you don't need any rose-colored glasses to delude yourself, not when your eyes are so occupied staring at the love of your life.

You'd gladly go blind if it meant looking at her until darkness overtakes your vision, the memory of her face being the last thing you'll ever see. This is a tragedy that can be easily remedied with your hands, exploring her features and committing them to memory once again. When your hands can no longer move, you will have your ears to follow after her sweet voice. When your ears clog up with those words of love, you will have your mouth to speak them back to her. See? It is all planned out; you are ready to live and die for love.

You are ready to drown in the fantasy Ada Tennant has built for you.

Ada, your Ada, lays beside you. The sun glows behind her, outlining her figure with an angelic glow as she slides one hand to the back of your neck, cradling you closer as to protect you and your sleep from the light. Little does she know, you're wide awake, basking in her presence. The moment your face presses ever so gently against her chest, you breathe in her perfume -- she's wearing the one you gifted to her, many months ago -- and her scent -- a subtle musk, followed by sage, patchouli and nutmeg.

Your little ruse is up when you find yourself unable from nuzzling her, the little sounds of giddy joy giving you away. Ada tuts, and you feel the low vibrations of her voice in her throat, your favorite spot to cover in kisses.

"Tsk, tsk… My liege, it is much too early for you to be this playful," she tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, "Don't open your eyes just yet, the world can wait. Sleep with me just a little longer."

But you were never the docile type to do what you're told -- one of your eyes opens, sneaking a glance at your lover, and you hide your face in her shirt once you're met with the full force of her gaze. Ada is right; it's too early for you to face the intensity of her affections, those red eyes of hers are a dangerous asset. They pierce straight to your heart.

"Ah, what have we here?" With one of her fingers, she traces the outer curve of your ear, the gentle feeling of her nails on your skin making your body tingle. "What a lovely shade of red, my liege. Are you cold? Hm, perhaps a little too hot?"

Scratch that, the most dangerous thing of hers is that cunning tongue of hers. It takes all of your willpower to detangle yourself from the pile of covers and blankets, if only to glare at her with feigned anger. She gifts you with her smile, one that has just the right amount of adoring and teasing to it -- it's enough to soften your resolve, and you lean forward to kiss her forehead.

"What time is it?" Ada catches your chin with her fingers as you speak, locking you in place.

There's those eyes again, looking into yours for something that you're not privy of -- this is something she does often, and it is always a gamble. More than often, you will see that smile you've come to love, but lately, something wretched, something sad and miserable, will take over Ada's features. It's subtle (you curse her perfect poker face) and it leaves as soon as it comes, but it weights heavily on your heart. What does she see that you cannot? And is it something that you can fix, for her sake? What are you lacking that is making her look so unbelievably lonely?

It doesn't matter today, because she seems to find it and she rewards you with a taste of heaven; her lips on yours, as light as a feather.

"If I told you, what do you think will happen?" When she reaches out with an open palm, you hurry to return that precious hair tie of hers, safely kept around your wrist each and every night you spend together. It is a wordless exchange, part of the domestic routine, and yet it means so much to you.

She continues speaking, your silence urging her forward.

"You will rush and scramble out of bed, tripping over everything. You will ask that I help you get dressed before anyone finds out I'm here, and you will scold me for taking so long helping you button up your shirt -- I, of course, will pretend to be innocent, stealing a kiss here and there as payment for my services. And as soon as you're the embodiment of prim and proper beauty, you will leave through that door, leaving me all alone until nightfall."

"That's -…!" The need to apologize and justify yourself builds up in your chest in the form of a sharp inhale, and then, you notice the way she's purposefully making those sad, lonely eyes at you. She got you, for a moment, she had you right where she wanted. "…That's only partially true -- you're the one who leaves, and I'm the one who waits."

"Ah, but you only say that because you know nothing of my yearning, darling. Would you like to know? The way you've made a home out of my heart and mind, rendering my pride to dust?"

This is one of her tricks, you know this. You can feel it in the way she rests a hand on your thigh, as if she's not even trying to hide it. Her true colors are on full display for you to admire, a snake tempting you to sleep in and remain in her grasp. Oh, how could you resist? Tennant shifts and moves closer, cupping your face with one hand while the other finds the small of your back. She meets no resistance from you, already at the verge of giving in to her love -- you can't deny how good it feels to be coveted, to have someone as amazing as her want you, keep you safe, like all of the diamonds and jewels under her name. This is the moment you close her eyes and allow her to dip you back onto the mattress so she can kiss you to her heart's content.

She only does the former, however; your body bounces unceremoniously as you fall back onto the pillow, your lips still puckered up uselessly, waiting for a kiss that never came. Ada laughs at this, muttering a small apology.

"I mean it, sleep a little longer." Even her command is gentle, her thumb rubs circles on your cheek. "You've earned it, my liege. Or rather, you need it. Who will keep me company should you fall ill from exhaustion? How will I sneak into your bedroom with the whole house staff alert for your sake? Fighting for your honor comes as easy as breathing, and giving you the world is as easy as snapping my fingers, but I fear my most ferocious opponent is that stubborn temper of yours."

You're done for the moment she says your name -- Ada has played all of her cards and this can only mean one thing: it is a very serious matter. But you don't understand, have you truly been overworking yourself these past few days? You don't feel tired, not at all.

But then again, there's no space for any other feeling other than love whenever you're with her. A long, drawn out and exhausted sigh escapes your lips.

"…Fineeeee. I suppose I can take a day off, as long as you spend it with me. Ada Tennant, I spoil you too much for your own good."

"Then might as well spoil me a little more -- wouldn't you say, my love?"

There is a frown on your face, one that aims to conceal your flustered state rather than show any sort of anger towards your lover. This contradiction is obvious in the way you open your arms towards her, allowing Ada to lay on top of you with her full weight and warmth. She smiles, eyes closed, like a child getting everything she's ever wished for, like someone who has finally returned home after being away so long. Her legs tangle with yours, her arms wrap around your waist, desperate in their grip.

In the early days of your relationship, you would've been in her place, begging her not to go, making her promise that she'll return safe and sound from whatever secret endeavors she commits her life to.

But now she's yours, all yours. And in turn, your heart is all hers.

[vasito-de-leche]

a little prompt, if you don’t mind

what about mercenary!reader and symbiote!Pavia? it’s just Pavia’s ult/wolves kinda remind me of Venom and i think it would be fun to imagine him being something like Venom

;R1999 PAVIA - "under your skin"

Symbiote!Pavia x Mercenary!Reader 2.5k words body horror What you and Pavia have is nothing more than transactional—you need him to make a living, and he needs you alive to ensure a comfortable life. It's taken some time to get used to these changes, to share everything you have with him for the sake of convenience: your home, your food, your job. And most importantly, your body. Perfect symbiosis, or dysfunctional parasitism? You've yet to figure out where you two stand. One thing is clear, though; he's the best at getting under your skin.

i just want you to know that this prompt speaks to MY SOUL bc i love venom and pavia so fucking much. you dont understand how hard i think about the concept of a symbiotic relationship between symbiote and host. so I went extremely self-indulgent with this one <3

as usual, this is written to be read as platonic or romantic, whatever floats your boat!

Bang!

A clean kill.

The only reason you watch as the body drops to the ground is out of respect for the work you do, nothing else. You've done this a dozen times, and you will do it a dozen more -- the gun in your hand has become a reliable friend rather than a tool for mindless murder, its familiar weight a fleeting comfort in the tedious routine. A shame it came from the most annoying person you know.

Screaming ensues as everyone surrounding your target runs around in panic. You remain, eyes locked on the target. When someone moves their body, attempting to cradle that lifeless corpse, you see it; a bullet right between their eyebrows, the perfect shot.

You feel a tug, but it comes from within your chest cavity. Something squirms inside you, pulling you back, and you understand this as your cue to slide back into the shadows. It begins with a single step backwards, then another, until you feel the texture under your shoes shift -- what was once solid ground is now a dark, velvety mass, floating upwards and fading away like smoke. It licks at your ankles, providing an initially cold sensation that permeates your clothes, and then it continues upwards to your calves, your knees, your thighs. The gun slowly dissolves into slime, taking the shape of what you assume to be a hand, horrible and sticky fingers intertwined with yours, pulling you downwards.

By then, you feel that burning sensation, and then you're dragged into the abyss.

"That was a lousy shot."

A voice echoes in your mind, it is not your own. It feels like a thousand ants marching alongside your cranium. Or rather, what you assume to be your cranium -- in this current state, you can't separate yourself from the embrace of the void. The voice might as well reverberate all around you.

You scoff and insist. No, it was a perfect shot.

"Perfect my ass. You were off by 2 centimeters," the biting remark makes you clench your jaw. You don't reply. The voice does the same, it remains still, only a semblance of white noise, but you understand its silence as a smug victory.

Suddenly, vertigo takes hold of you. It only happens for a split second, always unannounced, but you know better than to brace yourself. Doing so, as you've learned, would only make you nauseous, dizzy and weak -- instead, you let go and the shadows gently coax you back into the light before dissipating in the air.

You find yourself in front of your apartment door, an odd and anticlimactic way of ending a productive day. What, no snack run today?

"Not feeling it today. So you either open the door on your own, or I'll do it myself. Get a move on."

Some of these threats tend to hold more water than others, but more often than not, they're just empty words and loud, useless barking. And so you've learned to ignore them all -- however, you feel a faint prodding inside your back pocket, like a tentacle in search of something. Right, your keys. The roll of your eyes and the slowness in your movements are the only means of rebellion you have against this annoying entity in your head, it continues to breathe down your neck, impatient as ever, until the door opens and you step into your safe haven.

"Finally! Guess there's some activity in that brain dead head of yours."

You're forced to make a bee-line for the kitchen and the fridge, puppeteered by a force much more stronger, much more ancient than every insignificant emotion you've ever felt: the damn parasite inside of you is hungry.

As you both scan the leftovers -- your leech of a roommate seeing through your eyes, smelling through your nose -- the voice returns, this time in a more playful tone, less grating than before.

"Scusi, what's with the silent treatment today?" You bite the inside of your cheek and it laughs at you. "Don't tell me, wolf got your tongue? Are you mad that I saw right through your poor, shitty technique?"

A suffocating presence crawls inside you, starting from somewhere below your rib cage and making its way upwards through your esophagus and trachea, shifting until you feel the prodding of cold, slimy fingers in your mouth. They are tasteless and you can still breathe, your body not even bothering to perceive this as an obstruction or an intruding force that must be coughed and spat out. They are careless in their movements, pinching the tip of your tongue and pushing against your clenched teeth in an attempt to get you to open up.

And the worst part is that this is nothing but a mocking gesture, you've come to understand this over the years. To you, this is no different than someone poking at your sides, childishly asking for your attention. You obediently open, enough for a single digit to slip out, one you recognize as the middle finger. It presses down on your lower lip.

And then you bite down, hard.

It dissipates instantly, it is absorbed back into your body through every inch of skin it makes contact with. There is a new sound in the back of your mind, one you weren't quite expecting. Your parasite laughs, amused, no trace of that usual condescending tone.

"Good, you still know how to use that petty mouth of yours. I don't have to worry about teaching you how to chew down your food."

This makes you stand up straight, turning your head and glaring at an empty space, where you assume this presence would manifest if it chose to stop taking residence in your body, "I'm not eating while you're still in there. If you want dinner, then get out."

There is a beat, a momentary silence. You don't give the parasite any time to bargain, "I'm serious. Use your own damn mouth if you're so hungry. I already have to do everything on my own, I'm not going to start spoon feeding you, too!"

The reply comes out faster than you expected.

"Fine."

For a moment, your vision doubles and your body feels like it's being painlessly torn apart. For a moment, you have two sets of eyes, two sets of arms, two sets of legs and two minds. You are both yourself and him, simultaneously. It is like someone is cutting your soul in half, shoving each part into two different bodies.

It is over in the blink of an eye, and there is a presence looming behind you, made from the same material that took you here, the same material that often travels in your veins and every other crevice, nook and cranny available between your organs and bones. The lights of your apartment flicker, and you take notice of his shadow cast over you.

His predatory gaze burns holes in the back of your head, and in the stillness of it all, you hear his steps, the sound his leather pants and the shifting of his shirt fabric as he steps closer -- until you feel his chest against your back. An arm slides into view, closing the door to the fridge and resting there, preventing you from escaping. It is decorated with all the useless, silver jewelry he's taken from your targets, a hand covered with tattoos you've often traced with your very own fingers in the past.

Oddly enough, you do not feel like prey. Not anymore. Your instinct tells you that you should, but truth be told, you could not care less. Especially when you feel his chin dig into the top of your head, his weight pressing lazily on you.

"…But in exchange, I'm cooking tonight. You got 10 seconds to get outta here." He shifts, and his cheek nuzzles into you as he yawns, like he's ready to move on from this conversation.

"Huh?" You slide from under him, finally looking at the parasite concealing as a man -- one you recognize as the bane of your existence, Pavia. "Uh, like hell I'm trusting you with the food! I've seen the stuff you put on your pizza."

"Like you're one to talk! You add too much salt to everything you make. If you wanted to ruin your liver, you should've just let me eat it from day one. 5 seconds left before I throw you out. C'mon."

"Do you even know how to cook? Any actual recipes that don't require winging everything?"

"Does pasta with a side of 'mind your fucking business or I'll make us eat rat poison' sound good to you?"

"I swear if you put anything funny in the food--…"

"Time's up. Out!" Pavia picks you up, manhandles you even, and tosses you out into the living room. As soon as you land on the couch, the door to the kitchen closes and you're left all alone.

It's easy to forget that you have no fucking clue as to who or what Pavia even is.

No last name, no records, no personal information at all. You've touched him before—he looks and feels just like any other person. If you didn't know any better, you could've sworn he bleeds the same way you do. But there are times when that outer layer of normalcy is peeled back just enough to remind you what you're dealing with. Sometimes, the outline of his form darkens, as if the light around him couldn't affect him in any way, and his eyes go dark, so very dark.

You've seen him in this form, unhinging his jaw to uncomfortable degrees and revealing endless sets of saw-like fangs and teeth. His nails have grown longer, thicker and sharper than expected in many occasions. You would find those on the ground, like a wild dog who has never known, let alone needed, a trimmer.

And most importantly, you've allowed him entry to every pore of your body, every piece of cartilage, every muscle, every vein.

That's when you get a small glimpse into the eldritch monstrosity living under your roof—sometimes, he's a thick fog. Sometimes, he's an oozing pile of slime. Sometimes, he's the big, bad wolf. Sometimes, you can't even understand what you're looking at when he manifests in front of you. Regardless, you're certain of something.

Pavia is darkness, eternal and haunting as the night.

He is also a huge, ungrateful, bastard.

"Hey! Where'd you leave the gelato!? This freezer's a damn mess!" His voice is heard, muffled. It doesn't carry the same cadence and weight as it does when you hear it from within your mind. He sounds more annoying, in fact.

It's a strange experience, to have him coexist right beside you as if he weren't some sort of parasite, one hair away from eating your organs. But at least like this, he cannot read your mind nor attempt to puppet your body like a moron in broad daylight. You don't answer, fully aware that he's only trying to piss you off and lure you into another argument -- as if he'd ever lose sight of his precious dessert, anyway. Instead, you busy yourself with the usual routine; finishing what is left of your work, contact your employers and whatnot.

Soon enough, the kitchen door opens and Pavia slides into the room with a single plate of warm food. You look at him, eyes wide in indignation. Oh, he wouldn't …

"Huh? What, I thought you didn't trust me to cook, so I just made something for myself. There's some leftovers from your poor excuse of a lasagna, though." The smarmy expression plastered all over his face as he licks the sauce off his spoon is unbearable, and you rush to the kitchen either to find the biggest knife to drive into his chest or to resign yourself and eat those leftovers.

And then you see it, another plate resting by the counter. Full of delicious looking pasta.

Son of a bitch.

"Bring me some of that orange juice you bought yesterday while you're in there, yeah?" Pavia never gives you time to settle down, demanding your attention and your frustration time and time again, unable to form a single coherent thought nor opinion about him.

He's annoying, that's all you've been able to figure out so far.

He's annoying, and he's made a mess out of your kitchen to cook this meal for both of you. He's annoying, and stingy when it comes to sharing his favorite snacks and desserts, but he never attempts to steal your own. He's annoying, and he offers you a power beyond your wildest dreams, to get rid of inhibition and embrace the abilities of an eldritch beast. He's annoying, and he hogs all the fucking blankets at night, planting his cold feet against your legs or back to add insult to injury.

He's annoying, and he's calling out to you once more, telling you to hurry or else you'll miss "that one stupid show" you like, that he'll switch channels if you don't sit down with him to eat. You sigh. The nerve, the hypocrisy. You know the things he likes to watch -- he has no right to criticize your taste like this.

"I'm coming, calm down! Christ …"

You notice that he never lingers nor invades any of your usual places, always picking the same spots for himself, and this is ironic in every way possible given his fickle nature. There's no doubt that as soon as you two retire for the night, Pavia will make a show out of sliding back into your body, to rest with the warmth of your blood and the soothing rhythm of your heart. And you will tell him to fuck off and sleep on the couch, reminding him of that one time he got a little too comfortable, clutching your heart in his claws, causing you to believe you were having a heart attack. Then, morning will arrive, and you will find Pavia either sprawled out or gone, but never truly leaving you alone. You will feel him, that inky slime, both cold and warm in your veins. You will go to work, and you will return home to start all over again. This is the routine, one you stopped questioning a long time ago.

This parasite who gets under your skin, both figuratively and literally, is annoying. He's annoying when he teases you, forcing you to admit that he can cook a mean pasta. He's annoying when he laughs, loud and boisterous, at those stupid moments he often criticizes in all of your favorite shows. He's annoying when he gets clingy, using you as a pillow because he can't be bothered to reach out for one of the many other pillows scattered around.

He's so very annoying when he looks at you with a curious gleam in his eyes, obviously noticing the way you've chosen to rest your head in the crook of his neck. Time stands still as you simply look at each other, as you lose yourself in those bright, sharp eyes.

You stick out your tongue at him, and Pavia blows a raspberry at you. Sure, he might be plenty annoying on his own, but together you're both insufferable and unstoppable.

[vasito-de-leche]

Who do you think in r1999 characters who's a yandere in your headcanon? Whether the characters are into romantic or platonic type?

sorry, I don't understand your question!

If you're asking about... which characters from the game I personally think are Yandere, maybe? Then none of them because R1999 doesn't focus on romance nor relationships and no character displays any sort of Yandere behaviour. Feel free to send a different ask explaining what exactly you meant to send o7

[vasito-de-leche]

Do you have any specific queer headcannons of r1999 characters if so which ones and why?

I wrote a bunch of stuff for this post but then tumblr fucked me up and reloaded without saving it so here we are..... rewriting it all over again ... OAUGH. usually I default to seeing everyone as Vaguely Bisexual and Not Cis until stated otherwise, but you asked for specifics so here we go!

6 is aromantic or demiromantic.

On one hand, it's because I love projecting on my faves. On the other hand, it's because he genuinely doesn't feel like the type of person to be interested in relationships. But this isn't something that's tied to any potential disgust, repulsion or even trauma related to his Revelation and struggle against fate -- to me, 6 just doesn't feel romantic attraction. At the very least, nothing strong enough to consider pursuing. It's not in his priorities. I really dislike this specific thing that fandoms do in which every single character who is introverted, or who happens to be alone/isolated (either by chance or by choice) is secretly lonely, touch starved, pining and desperate for attention and romantic love. It feels like such a huge disrespect for their equally important platonic or familial relationships. 6 already holds a lot of love for his own community and his childhood friends, a type of affection that is shown in his subtle and unique ways. I like it when his character focuses on those aspects instead!

Mesmer Jr. is aromantic and asexual.

In her case, she's the opposite of 6. Mesmer Jr.'s trauma and OCD is much too intense for her to even consider the idea of an emotional or physical bond with anyone. She's disgusted at the idea of touching others so casually, and she's afraid at the possibility of allowing a person (someone she logically cannot have any control over) into her life because what if they throw her off her schedule? What if they mess every meticulous thing she's planned for herself and her mental stability? What if she loses her grip? Yes, it's plausible that she may find a partner who works perfectly with the way she needs things to be, and yes, you can headcanon that she heals and her OCD becomes "manageable" enough to have a stable relationship, but personally? I just like it when characters don't get to have stereotypical happy endings in which everything gets better through love and friendship and support -- like, yeah everyone loves to see their faves happy and all but eh... It's a bit of projection on my part! Some people don't get to heal and do all the things their disabilities prevented them from doing, even if we're given all this support and love. Some of us just have to find ways around these things, anything that works for us that makes our lives easier.

Sweetheart is queer but has a complex relationship with love. In a somewhat similar vein, Blonney has gone through every single letter of the LGTBQ+ community.

I tried my best to explain my thoughts on Sweetheart but at this point she deserves her own post because it's honestly a LOT, this single part was just too long so I cut it out entirely. Just trust me when I say she's queer and has a very complex relationship with love. In Blonney's case, we discussed the possibility of her being written as comphet and it got me to think a little about her. I see Blonney as the type of girl who presents as a straight bimbo, following the themes of her character and all, but who has constant crisis after crisis in the privacy of her bedroom, the only place she's allowed to be more than just a blondie. This constant journey questioning her orientations and gender happens entirely in her head and in private. I like to think that she just has these long monologues in her head. Sure, she's identified as straight her whole life, but maybe bisexual works better because there was that one girl she kept meeting under the bleachers. Oh, but maybe she's a lesbian, since all her boyfriends are just huge disappointments and none of them ever make her truly happy. Oh, but maybe that's just because she has bad taste in men, there was that one guy in class who keeps making her laugh after all. Ahh, this would be so much easier if she were a guy, her femininity is mostly performative after all. Ah, but she actually really loves pink and fashion... Nonbinary then? No, she's not the type to pick something so vague, it's one or the other. Oh, how about both? Genderfluid! Etc etc. If you ask her about how she identifies, she'll simply brush you off with a "What's it to you? That's none of your business, creep!" and move on, but this is something very personal to her. So far, she knows she likes being femme presenting and that she likes Jessica!

Eagle is a trans girl.

Have you guys seen those posts going around tumblr about how important it is that trans women exist because they fight for their own womanhood and girlhood in a world that constantly looks down upon feminine things and all women as a whole? Yeah. Yeah. Eagle being a scout that fights so hard to prove herself, the feelings of not belonging into the Boy Scouts and seeing how the Girl Scouts are created eventually, a space for her. The fact that she visits her father's grave so that he can see her grow up.

Kaalaa Baunaa, Oliver Fog, Medicine Pocket and Melania are probably bisexual, but they're super busy with work so they don't have time to address that.

Self-explanatory <3 I do like to think that Kaalaa and Medpoc are more chill about it, Kaalaa because she's a grown ass woman who is very mature, and Medpoc because they genuinely give no fucking shits about dating in general, so who cares about confirming whether they're bisexual or not. Oliver Fog is a little more flustered at the idea of exploring his orientation and whatnot, but it's tolerable. BUT MELANIA? I LOVE to think that she's FULLY aware that the MOMENT she acknowledges her bisexuality, she will have a crisis and then what will she do? She has 3 papers due next week and a heist this weekend, she can't possibly sit there wondering about liking girls! She's got things to do!

And here's the extra round of HCs that don't require that much text to explain or that lean towards being more silly!

Eternity has literally outlived the concept of gender. She/They royalty.

37 has QRPs instead. It Just Works. No one but herself and her partners understand the dynamics, though. As god intended <3

APPLe is a raging bisexual and has been spotted in many gay bars. Regulus is also bisexual.

The world would've been a better place if Bette was a butch lesbian.

Balloon Party and An-An Lee play with gender like its playdough.

Baby Blue is Not Cis and she's Not Straight either because none of that shit matters to her anymore, since she's been disconnected from reality and society for so long. She also doesn't care about labelling herself.

Diggers is trans, but no one can figure out which way exactly. It doesn't help that he refuses to clarify either. The same thing happens with John Titor, except she's very vocal about being a transwoman.

Bunny Bunny is bisexual but she hasn't realized this yet. In similar fashion, Horropedia is bisexual but he just forgets about it sometimes.

Druvis III as a trans woman goes hand in hand with Forget Me Not as a gay man. This is why they're both super divorced.

Leilani is pansexual because she prefers the colors of that specific flag over the bisexual one. Spathodea is pansexual because the personal distinction between pansexuality and bisexuality matters to her.

Tennant is bisexual because she can scam and seduce more people that way.

The Fool is nonbinary. Mf should've been born in the 2020's, I just KNOW he would've loved mirrorgender.

Zima is in the closet not out of shame but out of safety. Just in case.

Sotheby assumes that every girl in the world likes girls. So far no one has been able to prove her wrong because all she does is interact with other sapphic girls.

Pavia is nonbinary out of spite. But I also love transguy Pavia HCs so so so much, give that guy boobs, he would never get top surgery <3

Vertin is nonbinary too but she doesn't care about people knowing about it. She does, however, make the effort to be a little androgynous, as a treat for herself.

Madam Z and Katz absolutely had a Situationship going on during university. Katz was bicurious and Madam Z helped her experiment. Now the Situationship is between Madam Z and Constantine, the latter using Madam Z as a rebound after fumbling her relationship with Vertin's mother <- the machinations in my brain will astonish you.

TTT is genderfluid by virtue of being a picture on a TV, so I like to think she can just shift her appearance. In similar fashion, gender means nothing to Alien T and Voyager because they're aliens.

I specifically love the idea of all of the 1.2 gang joking about how Tooth Fairy is their token straight adult figure -- she's actually bi and asexual, but likes to keep that to herself so the kids can make their little jokes and have fun.

Enigma is gay and homophobic because his self-loathing is just that strong.

Turns out that the push Click needed to explore his own sexuality was getting killed on the battlefield, so now he's free to be gay. perhaps bicurious.

[vasito-de-leche]

I have some thoughts in my mind lately in the Self aware au R1999 (I'm invested so badly), I was wondering are there any arcanist that resented the player maybe at first or still having resentment on them? Because if the player wasn't there they would be " free " (which I would doubt since there are many players and it would still happen nonetheless but just speaking from there perspective) did they just helplessly or casually got over it after some time and accepted the fact it was a game I mean they were levelled up by the player,the player was the reason why they were getting stronger and winning every battle but I have a feeling some arcanist would have some doubt in them since everything was just a script in the first place all the things that happened to them were meant to happen for the plot, I don't about how to reach when they find out that the player was a human though.. But just like earlier if the player never was here then they would be " free ",they wouldn't know it was just some game (they gonna go bree since they wouldn't exist)(RAHHH I might have wronged what I said in this😭 I just have a thought in my mind about them doubting, feeling frustrated and all...Btw I am badly down bad for your writing 💜💜💜 I admire it so well.. 🥹🫶🫶 can I get a hello Please.. ?💜🥹💜 I'd go crazy being noticed on a writer I admire)

hiiii helloooo hola bonjour and many other greetings o7 really glad you like my writing!

your question is very broad, so I can only make a quick list to categorize all the characters and how I think they'd feel overall towards the Player within this AU! since you only mentioned arcanist, I assume you mean the playable characters only, so that's also the group I'll be tackling

I don't have a good grasp on every single character, so some of these are subject to change as I learn more about them too o7

It's very, very complicated.

Vertin. Door. Mesmer Jr. Bkornblume. I consider these characters to be "outliers" in terms of how they perceive the Player--in the sense that their opinion fluctuates and varies a lot, so they cannot be easily labeled in any of the other categories. They're contradicting or find themselves at odds with themselves, seeing the figure of the Player and everything the Player represents as positive and negative influences simultaneously. To them, you're a close friend and a distant stranger, a saviour and a harbinger of ruin, a source of knowledge and the end of everything--you're all of these, all at once.

as for the rest, I only described the opposite ends of the spectrum and the neutral category!

Extremely resentful and hateful

Desert Flannel. Erick. Mondlicht. Oliver Fog. Pavia. Sonetto. Sweetheart. This one is pretty straightforward--these are the characters who are defensive, who feel like your mere existence is mocking them, who have gone through so much and feel humiliated to know you're casually looking at them from above, so out of reach and superior and unbothered by their pain. But also characters who are combative or quick to identify you as a threat, such as Pavia and Sonetto, because you go against everything they believe in.

Stressed, requires a lot of time to get over it

AliEn T. Bette. Bunny Bunny. Charlie. Ezra. Kanjira. Matilda. Pickles. Ulu.

Mostly troubled, but open to change

6. Mr. APPLe. Darley Clatter. Diggers. Druvis III. La Source. Lilya. Melania. Ms. Moissan. Poltergeist. Zima

Neutral, indifferent and/or unaffected

Baby Blue. Click. Dikke. Jessica. John Titor. Rabies. Sputnik. Tennant. Tooth Fairy. Twins Sleep. These characters remain neutral, but do not confuse their indifference or lack of reaction for ignorance. Some of them aren't quite lucid, conscious or old enough to fully understand their surrounding, such as Rabies and Twins Sleep, but I would say the rest are grounded enough as to not let a figure such as the Player affect them in any intense or extreme way. Some of them simply don't care because this entire reveal doesn't exactly change their routine nor perception of the world. Some are choosing to remain neutral until they gather more information to form a solid opinion.

Mostly curious, but open to change

A Knight. Cristallo. Kaalaa Baunaa. Ms. NewBabel. Necrologist. Satsuki. Spathodea. Voyager.

Eager to learn, requires a lot of stress to be affected

37. An-an Lee. Centurion. Eagle. Horropedia. Leilani. Nick Bottom. Shamane. Sotheby. X.

Extremely intrigued

Eternity. Medicine Pocket. Ms. Radio. ONiON. Regulus. TTT. The Fool. Regardless of how your existence affects these characters, their curiosity and the new opportunities and possibilities you bring along are much more important to them. These are characters who seek to profit from you in some way, who see you as a fascinating subject to study, who may even relate in a way to the role you play as the Player, who may pity you.

[vasito-de-leche]

Hello hello! I love your writing so much and was wondering if I could request some Sonnetto analysis and hcs about how she would act around an older sibling-like reader. Someone who looks out for her and is protective of her but has a bit of a mischief streak. I don’t want to make the ask too specific because I want to give you some freedom with it lol. Thank you so much!

;R1999 SONETTO - Familial Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons and analysis about Sonetto and an older sibling figure.

ty for the request! it's always fun to write familial or platonic dynamics! <3 and sonetto is always such a treat to study under a microscope

sorry if this was short! i ran out of steam and ideas at the end, ough

The subject of Sonetto and family is one of my favorites to discuss because it always highlights just how disconnected from humanity she is. Not in the sense of "oh, she's heartless and very cold and logical because of the Foundation" but in the sense of "oh, she's kind, but only in the limited way a child soldier from the Foundation can be."

I can't remember if I've already written about this, but as far as I know, Sonetto is the only main/playable character within the Foundation who doesn't have any themes of "community" nor mentions any actual family members.

Compare her to other characters: Vertin, who was explicitly one month old when she was taken into the School of Discipline, still has her mother and is aware of her. Matilda and Mesmer Jr. have their whole families. If we analyze these characters, a big part of their lives and personalities can be traced to their interactions and history with their families, and these are just examples within Sonetto's generation. Outside of this specific group we have Horropedia, who owes everything to his adoptive grandfather, and Tooth Fairy, whose relationship with her family - the Campbells - is explored in her own character event from 1.2.

We can keep going with characters adjacent to the Foundation! X has his orphanage, he mentions the people he grew up with and took care of him in a few voicelines. Medicine Pocket has their mother, as seen in their 01 Story. Lilya has her parents, mentioned in her birthday messages. Leilani, also from Zeno like Lilya, doesn't mention her family per se, but her entire character revolves around the concept of being welcoming and friendly, around the idea of community.

Sonetto's character and her entire life revolve exclusively around the Foundation. This is the only family she's had, and this is a detail that her Storybook brings up in her first paragraph.

Child of the Foundation Sonetto knows nothing about her background. Before she was adopted by the Foundation, she had neither family nor motivations. It was the Foundation that gave her everything. Now she is completely clear of her glorious mission: to devote her life to the peace and well-being of mankind.

The Foundation is her only family, it makes sense that Sonetto would go on to become the perfect arcanist and soldier by their standards.

With this ramble, I want to emphasize the fact that Sonetto doesn't have the same knowledge or context about the idea of "family" like the previously mentioned characters. We know that her relationships are one-sided, because of the way she cannot reciprocate something as simple as friendship in a way that is traditional.

The most obvious example being her initial relationship with Vertin. She clearly cares for Vertin now that they are older, but we don't know if this is because of her guilt - born from her involvement in the incident that turned Vertin into the Timekeeper and everything prior to it - but we do know that the two rarely interacted given Vertin's reaction at the beginning of the game. To this, we must add the way Sonetto is constantly compared to a dog: she's described as a puppy, endearing and honest in the way she eagerly follows those she cares for. But also a military dog, obedient and attentive. One can argue that the only way Sonetto knows how to love and show affection is through usefulness, because it is the one thing she was taught by the Foundation.

Yes, Sonetto is kind and helpful, and this is a double-edged sword: being useful is the priority. If she cannot be of use, she cannot be worthy of affection, she cannot justify her existence. And a few of her voice lines highlight this--the ones we hear when leveling up her Insight are very telling.

Raising a character's Insight level is described as Vertin helping them gain a better understanding of themselves and the world, hence the wording--"Insight." Notice how Sonetto's Insight voicelines all focus on how usefulness.

Hu... la ringrazio. I will make good use of this power.

This place has brought me so many things: freedom, fresh knowledge, brave friends. How can I ever repay you? I want to be of help to you at any time.

The first one is straightforward, but the implication is that Sonetto sees her own development, her own understanding of her own life and personality, as something that must be used accordingly--a power, an ability, something useful.

It's a huge contrast to her second voice line.

It's only through a lot of exposure, help and insight that Sonetto can recognize all these good things--freedom, fresh knowledge, brave friends. She still wants to be useful, but now with the full understanding of her surroundings and situation. This is why she defends Schneider so passionately during Chapter 05 - "El Oro de los Tigres." This is why her entire character revolves around her slowly finding her own footing outside of the Foundation's influence through Vertin and all these new experiences, as opposed to the sterile environment she's used to.

And we're just talking about how she treats her friends, and there is this barrier that keeps her from forming connections so easily the same way Vertin does. How would she treat someone that's like an older sibling, a mentor, a parental figure, when she's never had anything remotely similar in the first place?

I think it depends heavily on when exactly you meet Sonetto!

On one hand, if you meet her while she's attending the School of Discipline, then I imagine it would take a long time for her to warm up to you. She insists that your behaviour makes no sense, but she can't exactly stop you as you're not breaking any rules that she knows of. Part of her cannot understand why you would treat her like this, regardless of whether you're a few grades ahead of her or part of the School's staff, but you make her feel safe, despite this mischievous streak of yours.

I can't see her supporting or turning a blind eye to any of your shenanigans--a younger Sonetto will absolutely snitch on you if given the chance, unless you give her a VERY good reason not to. If you're too much of a troublemaker like Vertin, then she settles for trying to steer you into the right path with advice, knowing that you're absolutely not going to listen. I like to think this specific path would end up with Sonetto being your little annoyed little sister! Or rather, that she sees you as an endearing and embarrassing older sibling figure, constantly apologizing her coworkers and others for whatever you might do or say for her sake. Yes, you're an inconvenience at work, but she knows that you care for her very much. Everyone can tell at a single glance that the two of you are close, that your mannerisms end up rubbing off on her in subtle ways, that she finally emotes and feels like a real teenager instead of a child soldier when she's around you.

On the other hand, if you met her after she joins Vertin's team, she's much more mellow, more open to interacting with people who don't fit the Foundation's standards. Initially, she may assume that you look out for everyone, not just her, but it takes a considerably less amount of time for her to warm up to you. Thanks to all the new people she's met, it's easier to accept this sort of kindness and concern, and Sonetto's first instinct is to reciprocate it tenfold. Every little nice thing that you do or say, she will imitate it--if you help her braid or brush her hair, she will ask to do the same. If you make her favorite meal, she will do the same. Just like a puppy learning how to play with other puppies. If she sees you being up to no good, she's instantly confused--you're so caring and considerate, it's hard to wrap her mind around the idea of you getting into trouble on PURPOSE. She reluctantly tags along, just to make sure you have someone in your corner should you get caught.

Both paths would lead to some idealization from Sonetto's part. This is the first time she's felt like this--the concept of home has always been a quiet, empty and standard room within the Foundation's headquarters, but now, when she thinks of home, she thinks of you and Vertin, of a big, warm and noisy suitcase full of people. This is the first time she understands what family means.

Of course, she's torn between her duty and these new experiences, I think that there are times in which Sonetto feels guilty for choosing one over the other--sometimes, it's the realization that she will still prioritize the safety of mankind over a happy life with her friends, or realizing that her instincts still expose just how deep her indoctrination runs, how detached from a regular teenage girl she is.

And sometimes, it's the feeling of wanting to run away somewhere safe, somewhere with you and everyone else, when the stress of work gets to her. And what really affects Sonetto the most is knowing that you would never, ever make her choose, that you'll always be her big sibling, who teases her for days on end and who comforts her when she needs it.

This idealization manifests as the usual martyr behaviour that's been instilled in her. She cares for you, and so she will lay down her life for you if necessary--this is a feeling that defies all logic.

I do want to say that the aspect of idealization differ depending on which path we're discussing! The first one, the one in which you pretty much adopt her when she's very young, leans more towards a regular dynamic of a child idolizing their older sibling, someone who is very close to them. The second one leans more towards a fan idolizing a celebrity, a distant figure worth of admiration.

Because you've spent more time with Sonetto in this first path, I think that she would also be more open to being vulnerable since, you know, she's a literal child. Your presence and influence somewhat mitigates the damage her training will eventually do to her psyche and mentality, meaning that part of Sonetto is able to recognize that what's happening to her - what happens to every orphaned arcanist - is not okay. She can't fully explain why, other than it feels unfair, and so she turns to you. I think this would be one of the very few moments in which you will see Sonetto cry, in which Sonetto will internalize a very important thing: if she ever feels afraid, alone or scared, you're the only person she can go to.

This is a lot of text to say that she will die for you because you're the only person who accepts her, the best and worst parts of her. Whereas in the second path, she will die for you because she sees you as superior, as someone who deserves to live more than her.

Aside from this analysis, I do have a few cute headcanons!

Lots and lots of puppy behaviour. If left alone for long periods of time, Sonetto defaults to trailing after you. She just likes to orbit around you, which is great if you're overprotective. And if you happen to be busy, she simply trails after Vertin instead.

Sonetto doesn't show off when working, given how seriously she takes her role, but as soon as she's done with a mission, she will ask you to rate her performance. Partially, she does it because she genuinely cares about staying on top of her training and you're the one person who knows her the best, but it's also her way of asking for attention, I don't think she even realizes that she's seeking out validation lol. Please, feel free to pet her head or fret over her.

I think Sonetto has a lot of control, so she wouldn't slip and accidentally address you as her big sibling--but if someone else were to address you as such, she won't correct them.

Whenever Sonetto struggles with her art and poetry, she goes to you first and foremost. I do think that if you're the type to constantly hype her up regardless of what she's created, she will slowly stop showing you her work out of embarrassment and because she needs someone who can give her a proper critique.

The same way some of your gestures and expressions rub off on her, you WILL end up picking up some italian and some hand gestures from her. Everyone loves to point out whenever this happens.

Sonetto can pretty much take whenever others tease her about whatever--on one hand because she may not understand that they're teasing her, on the other because she's rather stoic in social situations. But when YOU do it and go a little too far, she WILL start a very heated rant about how inconsiderate you are why would you bring this up now can you please not talk about this it's not the appropriate time or place please do not talk about her relationship with Vertin it is so unprofessional what even is there to talk about do not bring up that one time she messed up and called the instructor mom please do not talk about her first few incantations PLEASE FOCUS ON THE JOB.

[vasito-de-leche]

I was wondering... I've been reading the self-aware au and I wonder if Manus Vindictae is also aware of the player— How does Forget Me Not even react to the concept of the player too if he's ever self-aware of it? A human who calls the shots on the story progressing (clearing levels) and also the one who beats his ass in battle (i had to insight 2 level 20 my arcanists to beat him under 10 turns in hard mode)

Can he hear the player? Can he see them? (I tend to gush over him whenever he speaks, I repeat the scenes he's in 😭 i miss him sm in the story) sorry for all these questions!!! Im so curious of self-aware aus and how they work and yours particularly was REALLY good

;R1999 FORGET ME NOT - Self Aware AU

Headcanons about Forget Me Not within the Self Aware AU.

this is a very good opportunity to think about non-playable characters within the game, actually! ty for the ask o7

there was someone who commented on one of my self-aware posts saying it was kind of like analog horror and I agree lolol

I vaguely remember mentioning that the requirements needed in order to be aware of the Player's existence were to either reach a 100% bond and/or to be exposed to Vertin's constant presence.

Forget Me Not, as an NPC with little to no actual relevant weight in the grand scheme of things (he is only relevant during the 1929 arc as of now) doesn't meet any of these requirements, so I don't think he'd be aware of the player!

His self-awareness is limited to knowing the world around him is fake, which fuels his self-deprecating and self-defeating, deranged, depressing mindset. I like to imagine Forget Me Not doesn't even understand that the world he lives in is a game, he just knows it's fake and that no matter what he does or says, no one will truly remember. Things will inexplicably reset or loop, and even so, he's not aware of the many times he's been forced to battle Vertin and the others because the Player had to grind specific materials. And so on and so forth. In his eyes, the "high power" that could attempt to control this empty world would be Arcana and no one else--after all, she's the one who opened his eyes to the truth through indoctrination.

When it comes to the figure of the Player, I wanted to portray an extremely obscure and detached figure. Vertin herself can't even fully wrap her head around the Player's existence, she doesn't even know if you're human--if the protagonist, the character "closest" to the Player is still left in the dark about these aspects, imagine how it is for other characters who don't have the privilege of acting your will, of being your hands and eyes. Sonetto can't even get a proper look at the Player, she still needs an insane amount of time lingering around Vertin to become more attuned to this somewhat eldritch entity tied to her. Characters of "equal" importance to Vertin, such as Arcana, may be able to perceive the Player in their own unique ways just like her, but everyone else? They need these special cases to even notice such a presence. Vertin is your only link to this world. You're the one looking in, this is a one-way mirror and only a very select few can look into the abyss and realize that something -someone else- is out there, staring back.

Like, of course I'll make exceptions or bend the rules if people request direct interactions between a character and the Player, but if we're talking about the setting as it is, then this is how I picture it.

Can he hear or see the Player? Nope. He doesn't have the means to. He doesn't even know they exist.

Forget Me Not feels superior with his self-awareness, gloating about how he's not like the common rubble who goes on about their day, entirely blind to the horrors. And yet, he's not aware of his limited perception of the world. It's very ironic, the way he looks down on others for the very same crime he's guilty of: obliviousness. Forget Me Not believes everyone outside of Manus Vindictae is too dumb, too unworthy of the freedom that comes with self-awareness. But really, this is just the blind leading the blind at the end of the day. Within Manus Vindictae, we only have Arcana and Forget Me Not as important characters, so it's hard for me to make a proper frame of reference, but overall I think that only Arcana is fully self-aware. Everyone else's perception of reality are equal or slightly inferior to Forget Me Not.

I think this falls in line with his modus operandi, so to speak! The way he believes he truly understands how things are, while turning his back on reality at the same time because he can't take it. He's too delusional, too unstable and frail to acknowledge that he may not be right, that he may be just as lost as when he first opened his eyes, that Vertin, someone so utterly disconnected from his ideals and morals and views, is the "chosen one."

As usual, Forget Me Not prefers to live a lie an double down on his usual habits than realize he always had the chance to change for the better and he just never had the courage to take that road.

How would he react upon finding out the Player's existence and their opinion on him?

I don't know the specifics around how exactly he finds out this piece of information, but either way, Forget Me Not would probably be shaken to his core! This isn't an easy pill to swallow in the slightest. You have to understand that every single time you beat him in battle, he 100% believed it was all Vertin's prowess.

How was he supposed to know she had someone guiding her? How was any of this fair?

Essentially, Forget Me Not has to confront the fact that all of his struggles, all the constant fighting and every conscious choice he's made to further ruin his life, were predetermined, already set in stone by forces beyond his comprehension. It's both freeing and claustrophobic, especially for a character like him who revels in misery and his status as an underdog earning his vengeance. He's done so much, he's worked so hard to get to where he is, and sure, his life is far from ideal, he's still the same self-destructive man, but now you're telling him that this was what the world planned from the very beginning? He had no say in anything? Someone out there decided that he was meant to be like this, and even after gaining self-awareness, he wasn't good or strong enough to break away from the script--in fact, he played right into someone else's trap.

I feel like Forget Me Not, at this point, would continue to do the only thing he knows: he doubles down. He redirects all of his hatred and all of his feelings towards the figure of the Player, if only to justify his existence--he can't live as a free man, he can't be seen as a living being worthy of respect because the plot commands it, he doesn't know where his own conscience begins and where the script and dialogue he's meant to say ends. So he might as well keep digging his own grave.

He loathes the Player more than anything else, because if there was no one to play this game, none of this would've happened in the first place. He fully blames you for every single thing, no matter how big or small. Everything that is wrong with his life can be traced to the person booting up this goddamn game every single day.

And if he learns that you replay each cutscene that he's in, he takes that as an offense.

This is just cruel mockery to Forget Me Not--not only you're the reason he's turned into such a miserable excuse of a man, but now you've turned him into your personal little jester, to sing and dance for your entertainment.

If he finds out that you hate him? That's good, it's a mutual feeling and it makes this tantrum he's throwing much more easier to deal with. But if he finds out that he's your favorite character? It kills him from the inside. How dare you?

His voice gets sharper, more visceral--every word is drenched with such profound hatred that you, from your side of the screen, can't help but think that Forget Me Not's voice actor is doing such a great job! And the artstyle is so good, his expressions look so real!

I can also see Forget Me Not eventually struggle with the fact that the Player loves him and sees him as their favorite character. It's not as easy and straightforward as hating you anymore--he doesn't even know you. He doesn't even know what to trust anymore.

Given how depressing he can be, I think he may latch onto the Player? The rug keeps being pulled from under his feet each and every time, but your existence, as awful and mysterious and controversial as it may be, is real. You're real. I have a lot of thoughts about this specific dynamic, but I'll leave them for another post so this one doesn't end up being suuuper long lol

On the subject of finding out that the Player is a human.

This one is easy! If someone were to tell Forget Me Not that the Player, the bane of his existence, is a human, then he'll just be in denial about it!

I really just like the idea of Forget Me Not having no means whatsoever to interact with the Player, it makes things so much more frustrating for him. Of course this means that everything he does know come from third-parties. And this piece of information is an extra layer of stress that he can't physically process at the same time as everything else in regards to his self-awareness, so he chooses to ignore it. To debate it. To simply deny it.

What, is he just supposed to believe everything he's told about you now? He can't even perceive you properly, let alone understand the sort of creature you are and your influence on this world--for all he knows, the people claiming to see and talk to you are all liars! All of his informants and spies could just be dead wrong, they may have misheard something on the way!

You can't be human, because he can't take another blow to his pride like this. It's humiliating enough to be played like a fiddle in such a way, Forget Me Not doesn't even want to think about the possibility of this small, fake world being at the mercy of a human--part of the very same group that caused him so much pain over the years.