weirdass-cryptid
weirdass-cryptid
I ought to swallow thy angst
1K posts
I don't know who I am anymore, but I want cake
Last active 2 hours ago
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weirdass-cryptid · 16 days ago
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Mr. Cipher please stop playing with your food or we will be obligated to give you more time on solitary confinement
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weirdass-cryptid · 20 days ago
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Boy, when things go wrong :')
Offscreen, Dipper probably went on a crazy, fantastical journey to break into the multiverse and find his great uncle. It was at LEAST as intense and eventful as one full season of gravity falls. Made friends, enemies, friends from his enemies, maybe a whirlwind romance. And the whole thing was leading up to finding his grunkle in a fucked up contest to determine which Man Will Become Pregnant.
(Congrats on making it to the finals, Ford!! I'm actually so excited about this.)
CIPHER SAYS: "VOTE FOR FORD AND I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR OWN GALAXY!"👇 ✨✨🪐✨VOTE✨☄️✨✨VOTE✨✨🌏✨
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weirdass-cryptid · 1 month ago
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YEAASSSSSSSS S LETS GOOOOOO
HOORAY FORD!!!!!!
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NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT GROUP ONE *FINALS
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*The winner of this matchup will represent their bracket in the inter-group finale poll(s).
PROPAGANDA:
[Dean]
"hes so breedable. hed be such a good mom."
"we need a supernatural sequel somehow."
"He’s the reason we have the concept of Omegaverse. Destiel had a part of the development of Ao3. Most people consider the Destiel Love Confession scene as a reliable news source. This used to be THE Supernatural Destiel website. Don’t do my boy Dean dirty like this, he’s been through enough. 😭
Misha Collins himself just said at a con that if he could go back and refilm the series with Castiel there from the start, Cas would have gotten season 1 Dean pregnant immediately."
Propaganda courtesy of @acefusti138
[Grunkle Ford]
"He has that pathetic nerd swag why wouldn't I want him pregnant. I know multiple people who would want to bang that senior citizen."
"okay so this is the most breedable motherfucker in gravity falls. sorry but its true. eldritch chaos god triangle wants him so bad he ended the world about it, genius engineer wanted him so bad it made his wife divorce him, aliens want him, everyone in the town keeps calling him a silver fox and hot, etc. his autistic swag, presumable complete sexual inexperience in his 60s, and whimsy are a recipe for all to feel extreme lust when gazing upon his visage.
reasons that he is so mpreg-able aside, it is actually somewhat plausible that he is currently, as we speak, mpregnant. the new gravity falls book, the book of bill, had a website that was released to promote the book and also relay a bunch of new fun information and arg things. this new book, in universe, is written with the intent to be read by ford, and for the website, it is showcasing ford's laboratory. so one could view all of the material with the perspective of it being directed at ford.
one of these messages on the website is an image of an ultrasound of a baby-- a triangular baby. on it, there is the message "congrats, guess what's growing inside you right now! see you in nine months, papa!"
so…. ford might be mpregnant with his ex, bill ciphers baby. yayyyy."
"He's just so submissive and breedable. he should get a sci fi abortion. he would not enjoy fatherhood."
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weirdass-cryptid · 1 month ago
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GET THAT MAN PREGNANT NOW!!!!!!
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Spoiler: Bill isn't lying.
Just PRETEND bill has his eye scar in these drawings. I was way too tired to be bothered (or to remember).
Drawing this made me imagine this whole thing breaching containment and becoming the next zootopia abortion comic. It's just that stupid. "I'm pro choice" ford is going to be screenshotted and shared without context and I am not ready
I hesitated making him even say that, but the more I thought about it, the funnier it was to me. He said I will NOT hesitate to kill your baby. Fuck you
WE'RE DOWN TO THE FINAL HOURS OF THE PENULTIMATE BATTLE!! Will Ford finally get pregnant??? Will their lovechild come into existence and walk the Earth?????? YOU DECIDE!!!!
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weirdass-cryptid · 1 month ago
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Hello everybody, my name is Markaplier. I mean, uhhh, WeirdassCryptid, and I am officially back! With.... With stuff!!
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weirdass-cryptid · 7 months ago
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What I think people do when they go to read my fics
you ever read a fic description and just go
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weirdass-cryptid · 7 months ago
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"Don't leave me alone..."
GOD This is an awful AU. Things will get much worse. and then suddenly get much better bc I have plans :) you'll just have to tune in and see
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weirdass-cryptid · 7 months ago
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When you get a random spike of intense pain that fades away after a few seconds
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weirdass-cryptid · 7 months ago
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I can't stop giggling istg I need a comic of this
hot take: bills "fear of venetian blinds" is actually because he got stuck in some once and it was so embarrassing he never recovered
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weirdass-cryptid · 7 months ago
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gotta hand it to him, he is a cutie in that prison uniform
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weirdass-cryptid · 7 months ago
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Me if I was abducted by a 4D being and learned horrors beyond my tiny brains comprehension and stayed and then got married:
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Me tryna flirt (I suck at it):
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sigh my tesseract bbg only has midsides
Midsides are like between the inner cube and the outer cube of a tesseract, bc the outside will soon turn into the inside and vice-versa so in that case they only have midsides. You get me?? Yeah
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weirdass-cryptid · 7 months ago
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A 4D being, ready to teach me abt the higher dimension: *takes breath(?) to talk*
My 3d cube ahh: Show me your insides.
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weirdass-cryptid · 7 months ago
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Imagine dis bitch is to blame for Bill Cipher's eye problem wjuuuutttt???? ya
Vro was like "Okay so maybe if I jst...... yup. Then they can spread the knowledge of 3d!!"
*20 years later*
"Shiii its on fire"
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weirdass-cryptid · 7 months ago
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Thank you
Gravity falls is trending again and all I got from it is Flatland
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weirdass-cryptid · 7 months ago
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These idiots need to touch each other's insides
😦
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weirdass-cryptid · 7 months ago
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I'm in love with this yellow idiot and pregnant square
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worst best dad award
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no matter how many times i rewatch the movie its always a whiplash realizing how fucking chaotic a sphere really is
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weirdass-cryptid · 7 months ago
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My magnum opus and introduction to the Flatland fandom
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Mas joto que un club de gaes no mames
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Bonus thing. I have a college to do but also the funnies is more important clearly
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