xleeleeboox
xleeleeboox
Hi
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💚I am Elis, I’m 23, and also an alien I think??
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xleeleeboox · 1 hour ago
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Hannie posted on instagram
Via @/_doolsetnet
“London was fun~”
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xleeleeboox · 2 hours ago
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xleeleeboox · 2 hours ago
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© Jing_Ading | do not edit and/or crop logo
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xleeleeboox · 14 hours ago
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Why does everyone include degradation in their smut posts? :(( I don’t think it fits a lot of the characters or people the writers write for. And not everyone likes degradation. Why is everything smut, and why is everything degrading???
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xleeleeboox · 1 day ago
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HELLO HELLOOOO
i lowkey may have spent a few hours stalking ur page last night and reading ur fics......
AND UR WRITING IS SO GOOD OHMGOSH.
i was wondering if i could request something angsty... (angst is my favorite genre of all time bro i read angst day and night i love it sm)
could you write a skz x 9th member who's usually pretty active and clingy around them?
and maybe smth has been stressing the group out (maybe like they keep messing up the choreography or vocals), and she tries to cheer them up with something like gift baskets (idk)
but like when she goes to hand them out (maybe when work is over for the day?), they snap because they think she's just trying to be playful and clingy again?
this isn't written out the best. im sorry đŸ˜“đŸ™đŸ»
IF U CANT WRITE THIS I UNDERSTAND BUT THANK YOU IN ADVANCE IF YOU DO!!! :D
I LOVE UR WRITING SM UGH ANYWAYS HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! đŸ«¶đŸ»
OH MY GOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH :( !!! Y'all are all truly the sweetest ever :( This was literally so much fun to write hehehe I hope you enjoy!!!
When Your Love is Too Much
Skz x Fem!Reader, OT9 angst Request
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You weren’t oblivious.
You’d felt the tension thick in the air all week, it taut like a string pulled too tight, ready to snap at the slightest tug.
Mistimed choreography during rehearsals. Missed cues in vocal practices. Quiet bickering in the hallways when they thought no one else was listening. You heard it. You saw it. You felt it.
The exhaustion seeped into everything: the way Chan spoke more in sighs than words, the way Minho's patience wore thinner with each passing day, the way even Felix's warm energy had dulled into silence. You could barely recognize your team through the fog.
Even the spaces that once felt familiar- the snack shelf, the dorm kitchen, the group chat- all carried a kind of weight. Replies were slower, more dry. Snappy. Conversations fizzled. Smiles flickered like dying light bulbs. Shared jokes fell flat. Hugs became side pats. Eye contact felt rare.
So you did what you always did when things got bad, when things got stressful: you loved them harder.
They and Stay had always joked that you were the clingiest one in the group- always hanging off someone’s shoulder, always poking someone’s cheek, always chirping some dumb nickname that made the others groan but secretly smile, always wanting to play with someone's hair. You were like a little sibling. The mood-maker. The baby. The constant source of affection.
You didn’t mind the teasing. In fact, you leaned into it. You wore that label proudly. You knew how much your energy meant. You made it your purpose to be a buffer between pressure and burnout. And you couldn't help it because you loved the boys so much. You just had to show it. 
But this time, you wanted to show it in a quieter way. Something that said, I see you. I know it’s hard. You’re not alone.
So you made little gift bags. It was a habit you had picked up more recently. When groups would come back from tour they'd receive little gifts from you, tokens of your appreciation and encouragement.
So you thought maybe the boys would like it. 
And so you made them. One for each of them.
Jisung’s had a stress ball shaped like a cowboy emoji, his favorite late-night snack, some new guitar picks, and his favorite cologne. 
Chan’s had a calming tea blend, a beanie, and a pocket sized notebook for the lyrics he always forgot to write down. Plus a fancy fountain pen. 
Minho’s had tiger balm, a new toy for his cats, and a photo keychain of Soonie, Doongie, and Dori you printed at a machine by the train station. And with such a great price you got another of a silly selfie you two had together. 
Felix’s had honey candy, a couple boxes of those star shaped pimple patches you had seen him use, and lavender and eucalyptus diffusing oils to help him sleep. Plus a plushie of a chicken wing you had happened to stumble by.  Changbin’s had his favorite protein bars, some resistance bands, a funny motivational pin you found that said "Cry, then lift" and little book of "IOU" coupons- you figured if he always performed acts of service to show his love than you could for him. 
Hyunjin’s had packet of cooling eye patches, a new sketch book, his favorite face wash and a new kneaded eraser. 
Jeongin’s had variety box of strawberry, banana, and chocolate milk, a plush keychain shaped like a bread bun, a new case for his headphones and fuzzy socks.
Seungmin’s had a leather bookmark, his favorite gum, a tiny bottle of his favorite fabric freshener for his bedsheets when you guys were on the road, and matching skincare headbands for you and him. (Although he never admitted it his favorite part of touring was your skin care and gossip time).
You knew what made them feel cared for. You knew them.
You spent the whole day sneaking around, tucking the bags behind your back when someone passed, making excuses to duck out during breaks, taping handwritten notes to each one:
"I know it’s been a lot lately. Just wanted to say I love you and I’m proud of you. You’re doing better than you think! Love, Y/N"
You spent an embarrassing amount of time tying ribbons. You even color-coordinated them to match the member’s personalities. You hoped they’d notice.
You didn’t expect much. You didn’t want a big thank-you or dramatic hugs. You just wanted to make them smile. Or ease something. Anything.
When practice finally ended, you waited for the right moment. The room was dimmer now, lights low, bodies slouched in sweaty heaps. Water bottles half-drunk. Shoes untied. Everyone was scattered- exhausted, emotionally frayed, shoulders slumped. But no one was yelling. No one was crying. You figured that was as good a time as any.
So you tiptoed in with your arms full of care and hope and-
“Y/N, not now.”
Chan's voice was sharp. Not as sharp as his movements though. He didn’t even look up. He was wiping sweat from his neck, a towel slung over one shoulder, a boiling frustration visible in every twitch of his body.
You froze.
You hadn’t even spoken yet. Just one step through the door and a few bags still clutched tightly in your hands.
“I- I just thought
”
Jisung groaned, flopping dramatically onto the couch. “God, can you not do the whole hyper-sunshine thing right now?! We’re exhausted.”
Your mouth opened, then closed.
You felt the unmistakable pressure of tears burn behind your eyes. 
Felix wouldn’t meet your eyes. Hyunjin took off his cap, dragged a hand through his hair, muttered something like “why now” under his breath.
You shifted your weight from one foot to the other. “I wasn’t trying to be annoying.”
Minho glanced over from where he was tying his shoes. His voice wasn’t cruel, but it was flat. Tired. “It’s not about that. It’s just
 timing, Y/N. Seriously. You need to learn to read the room sometimes. It gets a bit much.”
A pause hung between you all, filled with nothing but the sound of someone’s water bottle tipping over and rolling across the floor.
You felt like you were shrinking. Like the walls had taken a step closer.
They were tired. You knew that. You weren’t stupid. You weren’t trying to make things worse.
But now the ribbon in your hands felt childish. The paper bags looked crumpled and dumb and too colorful for a room that felt so gray.
“
Right,” you mumbled, lowering your arms. “Sorry. I’ll just- leave them here..." You're voice trailed off as Hyunjin was the first to exit the room in frustration followed by Changbin to go calm him down. 
Changbin, the one who usually was the most in tune to your feelings bumping past you without as much as a second glance. 
Jeongin was next, with the rest of the boys in town, Chan closing his laptop rather forcefully before snatching his bag and heading out the room. 
"Make sure to hit the lights when you're done."
By the time you regained yourself, trying to blink away your humiliation and breathe through the heaviness in your chest you opted to dump the bags in the trash bin, sending something akin to a prayer as a silent apology to the janitor who had long since emptied the trash bin when he had realized that you guys would be there late into the evening. 
You watched the bags until you slammed the lid shut. Immediately feeling a wave of guilt at what you had done, and leaning down to try and collect the bags, but noticed that Chan's fountain pen had somehow busted, leaving the other bags and gifts - as well as your hands - stained a purplish black. 
The tears you had tried so hard to stop then poured out, and you felt so helpless in the moment. 
All the frustration and tension from the past few weeks you had sponged up from the boys hit you full force like a bullet train, but manifested in the feeling of heartbreak. 
You had tried to do something nice but instead you had made everything worse. 
You had tried to show your love but it was minimized to you being annoying, clingy,  "hyper-sunshine" as Jisung so kindly put it. 
You felt like a burden. 
One that was obviously too much for the guys to carry. 
That night, you didn’t crawl into anyone’s bed to cuddle like usual. You went straight to yours. It seemed the boys hadn't even noticed you're arrival, with everyone tucked away into their own corners. 
You shut your door gently. Curled up under your blanket. Didn’t even change out of your practice clothes. Just lay there, hoodie still clinging to your back, the scent of effort and sweat and rejection still thick on your skin.
You thought maybe - just maybe someone would notice. That someone might knock, if only to tell you you were being dramatic.
That someone somehow had went to the studio looking for you, only to open the trash and see the bags, would maybe bring one of  them back and joke that the gifts weren't of their interest at all, only for you to tell them they had chosen the wrong one. 
They'd laugh. 
Everything would be happy again. 
But the dorm was silent.
No knocking on Seungmin’s door for a movie. No climbing into Changbin’s lap with a dumb joke. No stealing Minho’s slippers or throwing an orange at Jisung because he refused to drink water.
The dorm felt quieter.
Not because everyone else was being quieter.
But because you were.
Your presence had always been loud. Bright. The soft, persistent hum in the background of their lives. Even when you weren’t speaking, you filled the space- buzzing energy, laughter, the click of your nails on your phone, the shuffle of your socks on the floor.
Now there was just
nothing.
The emptiness stretched longer than it should have. Minute by minute. Until the ache in your chest was a dull pulse. Until even crying felt like effort.
You waited.
And waited.
You stared at the door, hoping to see the light from the hallway spill into the dark. You imagined Felix’s head peeking in. Or Chan sitting by your bed, petting your head the way he did when you couldn’t sleep after a bad day. Or Hyunjin slipping a note under the door with a dumb doodle of you two as penguins.
But it never came.
There was no knock. No text. Not even a group chat ping.
Eventually, your eyes burned too much to stay open.
You rolled over. Pulled the blanket over your head.
Willed yourself to forget how small your love had suddenly started to feel.
Willed yourself to stop hoping.
But the thing about love- real love- is that it lingers. Even when it's quiet. Even when it's bruised.
And tonight yours was screaming with no reply.
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@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha @iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric @panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee @shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin @whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun @ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael @skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads @jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld @kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9 @minsungsthirdwheel @everlastingspring143 @joyofbebbanburg @leezanetheofficial @tr-mha-fan @bubbly-moon @night-storm7 @missmajdastark @axel-skz @rockstarkkami @emilyywhyy @lezleeferguson-120
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xleeleeboox · 1 day ago
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HEY HUNNNN!
omg you’re back, i love love love it
can i request something angsty with changbin please please?
maybe something where he’s been super stressed lately, and the reader notices, she’s been worried and trying to be there for him, you know? Just checking in, giving him space when he needs it, being supportive. But one day he just snaps and says something really mean, like totally out of line.
she kind of shuts down and backs off after that, and then he leaves for tour without really fixing things. While he’s gone, he starts feeling super guilty about it, thinking about how he hurt her and how she didn’t deserve any of that.
and then when he comes back, he tries to apologize and make things right, like really sincerely. Maybe he even gets a little emotional about it.
please end it with fluff
ABSOLUTELY love your work and so glad you’re back 💙💙💙
- LđŸ«
I'M SO HAPPY TO BE BACK!!! And I lovedddddd this request! Not gonna lie I was having a little trouble with it because like in all honesty during my hiatus time I didn't write much at all and I was like "can I even write a good angst now?" but this was a challenge I was sooooo excited to accept!!
I hope you enjoy!!! <3<3<3!!!!
You hadn’t expected a thank you.
Not for the way you’d been moving around him lately, careful and quiet, like a shadow trying not to scare the storm. You’d noticed the tension weeks ago - how his jaw clicked tighter each day, how sleep kept slipping past him, how his notebooks stayed full but his eyes stayed empty.
You didn’t push.
You were gentle. You cooked. You waited up. You rubbed circles into his back when the tension crept up his spine. You didn’t ask for anything in return.
But tonight... you just wanted to check in.
“Binnie?” you said softly, setting a mug of tea on the table. “I know you’re stressed, I just
 wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
He didn’t answer.
You tried again. “I’m not trying to fix it, I just-”
“Oh my God, Y/N, will you just shut up for once?!”
You froze. The tea sloshed in the cup.
Changbin stood suddenly, voice sharp and eyes burning - but not with tears.
With fury.
“You’re always hovering. You think this performative caring crap helps me? It doesn’t. I can’t breathe with you constantly trying to play house when my whole life is falling apart. You want to help? Get out of my face.”
Silence.
All the blood drained from your face. You took a small step back.
“I
wasn’t trying to-”
“No. You never listen,” he snapped. “You’re exhausting. You make everything worse.”
It was the worst thing he’d ever said to you.
And the worst part? He said it like he meant it.
You didn’t yell. Didn’t cry. Didn’t slam the door or scream back.
And your voice didn’t shake when you finally spoke.
“You know what hurts?” you said, barely above a whisper. “That you think I was trying to play house. That you really think me making tea or giving you space or checking in was some
performance.”
He didn’t respond. But you weren’t waiting for one anymore.
“I don’t want to fix you. I just want to love you. But if that feels suffocating to you
then maybe you don’t want to be loved the way I do it. And that’s okay.”
You nodded slowly, more to yourself than to him.
“I’ll give you the space you clearly want. Just
 please don’t pretend I was the problem when clearly it's you who has some self-reflection to do. Have a good night, Changbin.”
He didn’t stop you when you walked out.
And when he left for tour two days later without a word, you knew it wasn’t just your heart that was shattered.
For Changbin, it was the beginning of hell.
It didn’t hit immediately - the way guilt tends to creep in slow, like water overflowing in a tub you had accidentally left running. But by week two, it was drowning him.
The hotel beds felt too cold. The meals too bland. The laughter too forced.
And your silence? Deafening.
Every memory he ever had with you hit like a sucker punch. The way you tucked notes in his jacket pocket. The way you always kept his favorite snacks in your bag. The way you never once asked for anything back, not even a thank you.
And he had spit in your face for it.
He replayed that night a thousand times - your expression, your calm and truthful response, the ache behind your eyes.
He started crying in the bathroom before rehearsals. Snapping at the staff. Avoiding everyone.
The boys noticed.
“You should call Y/N.” Chan said quietly one night.
“I don’t deserve to,” he choked. 
“No,” Chan agreed. “But you should still try.”
"It felt like we were breaking up."
"Y/N isn't the type for a quiet break like that. You're being given space and time to reflect. Although I would think you'd be old enough to behave in a fashion that doesn't warrant time outs like these." Chan tried to give a chuckle to lighten the mood but then sighed. "In all honesty man, you fucked up, I can't even lie to you. But Y/N...Y/N...you picked a good egg Bin." His brown eyes met the younger one's and he gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Anyone else would have broken up but Y/N has a level of maturity that is lacking from others. You guys don't fight often. I'm sure things will be okay in the end just...don't sit on it too long buddy okay?"
Changbin sniffed as he wiped his tears. "Thanks, Hyung."
"Don't mention it." He said as he flipped of the hotel desk lamp.
A few minutes into the silence Chan spoke quietly.
"For the record I got a text from Y/N. Asking how you were doing. I said I wouldn't tell you but... do what you will with that info. G'night mate."
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He flew back early.
Was able to bribe management into releasing a fake statement about him having a cold or something of the nature to skip out on the last show of this leg. He felt bad for doing that to Stay but he physically couldn't handle being away from you anymore.
He didn’t even go home first - he went straight to your apartment, suitcase in hand, breath shaking.
You opened the door in a hoodie. 
One he quickly recognized as his and relief poured into his chest.
Your eyes went wide. “Changbin? What are you doing I thought this leg of the tour didn't end until- Binnie what are you doing!?”
He didn’t say anything. Just sank to his knees right there in the hallway, forehead nearly to the ground.
“Please forgive me.”
Your breath caught.
“I’m sorry,” he gasped through tears that had come on suddenly. “I’m so sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t- God, I was so messed up I couldn’t see straight, and you were the only person trying to help me and I threw it in your face.”
“Changbin-”
“No,” he said, voice cracking. “Don’t- don’t let me talk to you like that again. You didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve any of that. I was angry at myself, not you. I was drowning and you were the only person who reached out a hand, and I bit it. I fucking bit it." He looked up at you then, eyes bloodshot and cheeks wet. "I have no excuses Y/N I was frustrated and angry and felt as if I had control over nothing. But I had control over my words and how to use to them. And I made the worst decision with them and I am sorry I am so sorry." He choked.
“I’ve hated myself every day since,” he whispered. “You were- you are  the best part of my life and I broke you just to feel in control of something. And I’ll never forgive myself if I messed everything it up due to being a dick.”
Your voice was steady when you finally spoke.
“I love you with everything I have, Bin.” you said quietly. “Even when you shut me out. Even when it hurts. And you told me I made everything worse. How do you think hearing things like that made me feel? What things do you think I questioned because of that?”
His head dropped again. He couldn't stand look at you.
“When you said that it felt like you weaponized my love, if I am being honest.” you whispered. “You twisted it into something annoying. Performed. And I kept thinking, if the person I loved most in the world saw me like that...what did that say about me?"
You sat down on the floor, Changbin trembling as he looked at you. 
He grabbed at your hand, forehead pressed to it. “I was wrong. So wrong. I was cruel. And I will never- never - forgive myself for it. But I will do whatever it takes to prove that I meant none of it. Not a word. I love you. I love you so much it makes me sick that I let you walk away believing I didn’t.”
You let out a long held sigh. "I know you do but that doesn't change the fact it felt like don't."
You picked at a piece of lint on your sock.
"If I'm being honest I did consider if this was something to end our relationship over."
You looked up, watched as his pupils became small, his chin trembling. 
"But then I thought what would that say about us? We don't fight like this Bin, it isn't us." You said exasperated. "It's not. And you know that. But that's also not an excuse. Not a reason to just brush by things because I will not allow this to become a habit. You don't get to say hurtful and destructive things while I easily forgive you. Just as I don't get to do that either."
You fiddled with the sleeves of his hoodie, meeting his eyes.
"I'm thankful for your apology. And I forgive you. I just think that it's going to take a bit more for us to get back on track. And that's not me breaking up with you!" You rush out quickly when you noticed the way Changbin's shoulders tense. "I think it just means setting boundaries, and strengthening our communication skills. Maybe its also a good idea for some therapy too Bin." You say softly. "You need to find better ways to cope with your stress instead of let it negatively affect your character because then that affects those who love you too."
Changbin swallowed and nodded.
"I’ll do it. Therapy, communication, anything. I want to be better. For you."
You gave a small smile, not because everything was magically fixed, but because this? This was the beginning of something new. Something real.
"It's not just for me though. It's also for you. So you don't like things consume you. So you can be better and feel better." You stretched quickly. "Get up off the ground, baby." you said quietly, standing up and offering your arms.
He stepped into your embrace like you were the most fragile thing in the world.
After a while of being engulfed in each other you sat on the couch while he still hovered awkwardly. You pat the couch.
"You can sit next to me, silly," you said gently. 
He did. Cautiously. Then not-so-cautiously when you leaned into him and rested your head on his shoulder.
"You still like tea, right?" he asked, voice awkward and raspy.
You chuckled softly. "BinBin...you're acting as if it's been years since we seen each other. Just because we fought doesn't automatically bring us back to square one. We're just making sure we still keep the same amount of effort and quality as we continue to build our relationship. Fixing things before they get sloppy. Nipping our problems in the bud, hmm?" You said sitting up and moving your fingers in a snipping motion. "Snip snip."
That elicited a small giggle from him. "I know I'm just-"
"Really sorry. I know Binnie I know."
"I still feel unsteady."
"It makes sense. You hurt someone you didn't want to hurt."
"It feels unfixable."
"It is fixable."
"But it feels like it isn't-"
You flicked his forehead.
"Yah! I said it is."
"Okay." He pouted.
"Okay." You said whipping away a tear that slip down to his chin. "Now go make me tea."
He nodded, touched by the gesture. "Okay."
He stood up quickly, disappearing into your kitchen, fumbling a bit with the cabinets like he was in unfamiliar territory. It made you laugh, and something about the sound seemed to loosen the anxiety in his shoulders. And the anxiety you had just realized were in your own.
When he returned, he had two mugs in hand, both warm.
He handed one to you and sat back down, closer this time.
You took a sip. It was a little too strong, a little too sweet.
Just like he had always managed to do..
"Just like always." you said with a smile.
"Just like always..." he parroted.
You placed the mug down and curled up beside him again. He held you gently, arms wrapped around your waist, nose tucked into your hair like he couldn't believe you were still here.
"You scared me," you admitted quietly. "But I love you."
"I scared myself. And I'll always love you."
There was a long pause. Then:
"Do you think," he whispered, "one day we can look back at this and see it as something that made us stronger?"
You leaned back to look at him.
"Only if you keep showing up. Like this. Like you."
He kissed your forehead, then your nose, then finally your lips- soft and slow and steady. A promise.
You exhaled against his mouth, your hand resting over his heart.
"I love you, Seo Changbin. I just need you to remember that when things get hard."
"I will," he swore. "Every time."
The tea grew cold, but you stayed wrapped in each other’s warmth. And it felt like the little parts that had broken, were finally beginning to mend.
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@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha @iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric @panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee @shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin @whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun @ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael @skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads @jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld @kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9 @minsungsthirdwheel @everlastingspring143 @joyofbebbanburg @leezanetheofficial @tr-mha-fan @bubbly-moon @night-storm7 @missmajdastark @axel-skz @rockstarkkami @emilyywhyy @lezleeferguson-120
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xleeleeboox · 1 day ago
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fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this
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xleeleeboox · 1 day ago
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Innie posted on instagram 2/2
Via @/i.2.n.8
“💐”
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xleeleeboox · 1 day ago
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i like the phrases "it's not for me," "it's not my thing," and "i'm not the target audience" because they're the most concise way to express "this thing that you enjoy has merits but idgaf about it" without being aggressive
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xleeleeboox · 1 day ago
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xleeleeboox · 1 day ago
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so if steve is a summer in the hamptons, eddie is a trip to Atlantic City.
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xleeleeboox · 1 day ago
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@huiracha © ❀
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xleeleeboox · 1 day ago
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one of the most challenging skills i've had to learn as an adult is the art of figuring out whether i'm proportionally annoyed with someone or just tired and overstimulated and looking for reasons to be pissed off
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xleeleeboox · 2 days ago
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the way chan was looking for his sunglasses is sooo cute đŸ„ș and lee know almost throwing water at him but chan just asking him cutely if he had seen his glasses and lee know being confused and shrugging 😭 my babies 💘
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xleeleeboox · 2 days ago
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xleeleeboox · 2 days ago
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OH
oh..
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xleeleeboox · 2 days ago
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girlfriend goals
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