0hheytherebigbadwolf
The Fandom is Mightier than the Canon
The story isn't over until we damn well say it is. Find me on AO3
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Mordred: Quick, hand me a dagger.
Daegal: What?
Mordred: Don't you have a dagger with you?
Daegal: Wh- No? Why would I? Who just carries around daggers?
[Later]
Mordred: Do you have a dagger?
Merlin: Of course I do, I'm not insane.
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#daegal my beloved#merlin always has a dagger because he's learnt that if magic doesn't work then six inches of sharp steel probably will#mordred and daegal would be a whole unit
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Elyan: Arthur's always like this at the anniversary of his coronation.
Mordred: I thought it was cause for celebration.
Elyan: It is, but it's also the anniversary of Uther's death.
Mordred: ...is that not what we're celebrating?
Merlin:
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#deadass how i thought that conversation was going to go#how merlin and mordred become friends and avert the prophecy
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OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE IT
Of course the only thing they'd agree on is murder! Tbh if you're a practicing sorcerer in Camelot, you have "fuck the police" hardwired into your mindset. Laws? Never heard of her.
And ARTHUR. His fACE. *customer service smile* 😂😂😂😂 Relax, my man, you're half right. They are giving off Murder Vibes, just not towards each other.
Hilariously enough, this is how M&M become friends, because you don't plan a political assassination with just anyone, prophecy averted, and Kilgharrah can be heard screeching from the other side of Albion.
Mordred: Is it defenestration if you're throwing someone out of a portal?
Merlin: That depends on if you define a portal as a window, a door, or something in between.
Arthur: What the fuck?
#bbc merlin#merlin fanart#this is so beautiful#fantastic incredible stunning magnificent outstanding#merlin and mordred play ''parchment/boulder/shears'' to see who gets to push him through the portal#murder bros
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Mordred: Is it defenestration if you're throwing someone out of a portal?
Merlin: That depends on if you define a portal as a window, a door, or something in between.
Arthur: What the fuck?
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#the relationship they should have had#the only two practicing sorcerers in camelot they'd have to have conversations like this sometimes#mordred: is it like...a height thing? does it have to be so far off the ground?#merlin: i don't think so i mean there's some pretty low windows so again i think it depends on what you qualify a portal as#arthur: and again. what the fuck?!#merlin: excuse me we're having a discussion here
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Outstanding performance, everyone! The best part is, this exact struggle happened three (3) times in the show and he won.
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Arthur: For the last time, the rules of honourable combat protect you from the knights, not the Merlin.
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#merthur#medieval husbands#unhinged merlin superiority#he's right tho#merlin gives absolutely zero fucks about the rules of engagement#the knights: we cannot kill an unarmed enemy#merlin: fine give me a knife i'll do it
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Merlin: *sees Aithusa misbehaving and scoops her up* This is a disciplinary hug, don't be happy about it.
Aithusa: *snuggles closer* *pleased dragon chirps*
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#aithusa is baby and deserved better#dragon dad merlin#dragons are cat software being run on dinosaur hardware#arthur: merLIN!!! that scaly wingéd demon chewed up another pair of my boots!#merlin: aithusa?#aithusa: *bby dragon chirps* (i do not know what you speak of father i have done nothing wrong ever in my life)
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Freya:
Merlin:
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#freylin#proof merlin is a certified monsterfucker#merlin: that's a whole wife right there#and honestly if dragonlords are ''kin to dragons'' then monsterfucking runs in his family#if a donkey can fuck a dragon so can merlin's ancestors#freya meeting past dragonlords in the afterlife would be hilarious#merlin's great-great-great-great-grandfather: thou art intimate companion to mine descendant? wh't manner of beest art thou?#freya: i am a bastet my lord#grandpa ambrosius: oh lmfao that's my boi#the real reason lamia's thot magic doesn't work on merls#he already has a monster wife and she's way hotter than that calamari-looking ho#lamia: do you not desire me? 💕💋🔥#merlin: back the fuck up off me you raggedy bitch
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Arthur: If I had a coin for every time you were late, I could pave the city with gold.
Merlin: And if I had a coin for every time you were an ass, I could purchase all of Albion, what's your point?
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#merthur#medieval husbands#two dumbass sides of the same idiot coin#snarky bitch merlin my beloved#roasting is his love language#well that and. crime.
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Arthur: Uh, Merlin? Wh- whatcha got there?
Merlin, petting Bastet!Freya: A wife.
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#freylin#they're so important to me#proof merlin is a certified monsterfucker#i still love how everyone else saw the bastet and went ''aaaa!!!'' and merlin saw the bastet and went ''kitty~!''#meanwhile hengist is exsanguinating in the courtyard but this ain't about him#arthur: .......what the fuck???#merlin: your dad fucked a troll. get off my ass.#bastet!freya: *hissssss*#arthur: oh fuck this i'm going to bed
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Daegal: I just saw Merlin sit on the floor and cry for five or six minutes then the noon bell rang and he just?? Stopped crying?? And went right back to work??
Mordred: It's called time management.
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#merlin bby no#daegal my beloved#merlin just keeps acquiring groupies much to his confusion#merlin: go away???#mordred & daegal: no :)#lbr daegal and mordred would be an absolute unit together
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Mystic: The ritual. To perform it requires a sacrifice.
Merlin: Sacrifice? I nominate Mordred.
Mordred: Wait, what?
Merlin: You're little, you'll fit on a barbecue.
Mordred: I'm 5'10?!
Mystic: It isn't that kind of sacrifice...
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#mordred: why don't you love me emrys???#merlin no#merlin be nice he literally just wants you to like him#it's not mordred's fault he works with a pack of hyperpitutary freaks of nature#not to mention people were shorter back then#so 5'10'' would be considered tall and all these 6 foot plus mfs would be freakishly tall#also elyan is the same height#they just look smol standing next to sir skyscraper
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Merlin, about Bastet!Freya: Getting approached by an animal that wants you to pet them is such a magical feeling. Like, they saw you and went, "yeah, there's love in there."
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#freylin#proof merlin is a certified monsterfucker#merlin sitting there petting a giant wingéd cat creature like this is normal#meanwhile hengist is exsanguinating in the courtyard but this ain't about him#everyone: uh merlin? whatcha got there?#merlin: *petting bastet!freya* a wife#i still love how everyone else saw the bastet and went ''AAAA!!!'' and merlin saw the bastet and went ''kitty~!''
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Mordred: Sometimes touching grass isn't enough. Sometimes all you really need is to fight a god. And that's okay.
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#mordred bby no#on the one hand: dumbass#on the other hand: boi got some moxy squaring up with a god#merlin: i admire the tenacity if nothing else
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Arthur, deeply flustered: You want to hold hands?
Merlin: We literally slept together last night.
Arthur, still blushing: That's different!
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#merthur#medieval husbands#arthur 'disaster bi' pendragon reporting for duty#you know he's not used to genuine affection merls you've gotta ease him into it#this is exactly how it would go#arthur: i can't believe you want to hold hands in public 😳#merlin [last night's top who fucked arthur so good he went nonverbal for 45 minutes]: *deadpan* oh the scandal
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Merlin, laying down a blanket and pillows: Sure hope there's no mischievous female spirits around.
Merlin, scattering rose petals: I'd hate to be ensorcelled by her beauty and taken advantage of.
Merlin, conjuring candles, wine, and strawberries: Imagine being held in the thrall of a magical lady and obeying all her wishes.
Merlin, lying down in "Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls" pose: Be a real shame if that happened.
Freya in the lake, to the Gwragedd Annwn: And that, ladies, is my husband.
#bbc merlin#incorrect merlin quotes#freylin#they are so important to me#he would tho???#merlin attends the gomez addams school of husbandry#school motto: god i fuckin love my wife#freya goes back to the lake to gossip with her maids about her dumbass husband (affectionate)#proof merlin is a certified monsterfucker#first she was a giant cat creature; now she's an immortal half-dead half-living lake spirit#the real reason fae ladies be snatching mortal men: trying to snag them a hubby like merls#hands off ladies he's all freya's
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