2blckblog

[2blckblog]

Tales of a Retired Online Dater

Heyyyyyy!!! It’s been a minute since I’ve posted a lot has happened since the last time I posted I’m still talking with baby daddy 🙃🙃 and kept up with my celibacy which I’m very proud of and from my experience it has been an eye opener for me. I felt more in tune with my emotions and I was able to make stronger relationships with the people around me. During the past year I chose to sew my oats and step outside of my comfort zone and try online dating. Which I can say is one of the saddest point in my life lol. I got bored and wanted male attention so I thought I could date around and see if I could potentially find someone who would potentially want to be in a committed relationship with me. And boy lemmmmmeee telll yooouuu, for some reason I attracted the most trifling men. But also I think it all wrong, I have a bad habit of thinking that every man that likes me I have to like them or give them a chance, which is sad because men are able to pick choose and refuse any woman they want while many women have a hard time letting go of these men. And I want to change that. As a black woman I experienced a lot of fetishizing and quickly became disgusted when the men’s suggestion of a date was to go to his place and smoke weed 😒🙄. But the men were not all to blame, I have a hard time telling people no and realized that I don’t owe anyone anything. I did learn a lot about myself and that I’m single not alone I don’t need male companionship all the time and it’s okay to block because a lot of these men don’t know the meaning of no.

Does anyone have any online dating horror stories?

What is your criteria of a good date?

How do you end a relationship knowing you don’t want the person but they want you?

[2blckblog]

Tale of a baby mama 🍼

As I promised, we have returned back to baby daddy. So last time I told you guys baby daddy and I ended off on a bad note the ending of my freshman year. At first I was like “he ain’t shit, good riddance”. But as I got older and moving my way through college and men I began to realize that he was just trying to get to know me and I was way too concerned about what others thought and being scared that I just vetoed him out of my life. And around my junior year I started to feel bad that I cut him off without giving him a real chance.

That same year he added me on Facebook so I’m like oooohhhkkaayy he trying reconnect lol. So I’m thinking he about to send me a little dm to be like “hey boo where you been at?” But no lol it never happened. And you know of course he was posting all of his accomplishments and we would like each other stuff here and there. Just so he can know I’m here! Right here so hit me up. So my senior year I finally came to terms and, was like we neva going to see each other again so imma live this fantasy in my head. The crazy part is that one time I did have a dream that we had a kid together Idk if this is the universe telling me something but idk lol we’ll have to see.

So now to the ending of my senior year, my really good friend and I went to a picnic at the most Head ass school which is his alma mater. My good friend Jai has no shame when it comes to guys, she would jump in front of a car just to say hello to a guy 😂 and even though it’s annoying sometimes I keep her around because she has a lot of ambition and always sees the best in people.

So as we are standing around at the picnic people watching and I see her wave to someone behind me. So I’m like who this bitch trying to talk to now. I look back

And guess who it mother fucking is....... baby daddy. I don’t know why but I felt like this inside

Like I just saw a unicorn for the first time your girl was excited. But you know I had to play it cool so I pretended like it was okay for him to be in my presence 😂😂. You know we did small talk and he spoke about his typical head assness and how he’s really close to making 6 figs and misses being in college. When the convo started ending I thought damn I’m about to lose him, but then when my friend walks away to talk to one of his friends. He leans in like this and says:

“You know youve been looking good lately and I’ve been watching you” and you know I had to play the fool for a minute and be like who little ole me 😂😂. So I was like I still got the juice 💁🏾‍♀️ lol. We were supposed to meet up that night but a lot went on but I texted him a couple days later and then he asked me to come and see him on the other side of the country. And guess what? I did and the sex was on point too but that’ll be another post. So stay tuned lol.

But some of you may ask Suzie, why were you excited to see a fuckboy. And the reason why is that, that year I dealt with a lot of shitty men who lied, stalked and were just dicks in general. And he was a breath of fresh air, and I needed it. I am a firm believer that everyone who comes in your life has a specific reason. Good or bad and I think him coming back means something and I just don’t know what it is but only time will tell.

[2blckblog]

🗣She don’t wanna to be a booty call no mo!!!

Gooooodnight everyone!! 😊happy hump day! Today I would like to discuss celibacy. I’ve recently started thinking of this concept and contemplating if I would like to implement this lifestyle to protect my mental health.

Lately I feel as if the men that I have been involved with mainly want me for my body. In the words of one them “just another nut”(I’ve never been called one before and don’t let anyone call you one either). And I’m tired of it. I’m 22 and I’ve never experienced a committed relationship and would like to be in one. After having various friends with benefits and situationships, I realized that those lifestyles I thought I wanted weren’t really a good fit for me. After various trial and errors I realized that I had sex with some of these men to have some form of companionship so by giving them my body, I thought well hey we’re connected. But after being ghosted on, constantly asking these men to show how they feel, and constantly having to hold in how I truly felt every time I realize that I would like to cut sex out. In order to find a deeper connection with a future partner.

What also upsets me about the men that I’ve slept with, is that I’ve always in some way been available for them and realize whenever it came time for me to voice my opinions or needed a shoulder to cry on I never truly felt comfortable with them and they were never available when I needed them. So I know it’s time for me to sit my ass back and reevaluate certain things when it comes to men and I believe celibacy is good start.

I think it’ll force me to see who is truly there for me. I’ve already started cutting off toxic situationships that will not benefit me mentally and emotionally and I’m happy about it. But I’m finding a hard time trying to explain it to baby daddy and hello govna’(which I will introduce later on) my new path. So I’ll keep y’all updated on how this thing goes lol.

In all honesty I need a break from men because currently I am entertaining 4 of them and I’m only taking two of them seriously, and one of them is baby daddy who we will continue tmrw.

Tonight’s questions are: Has anyone ever considered celibacy if so, why? Also, how long did it last and did you see it as beneficial?

Suzie🧡

[2blckblog]

Champagne 🥂 wishes on a water budget 😬

Hey hey 🤗, I would like to change it up a little bit from my dating life and baby daddy, and talk about how post grad life is treating your girl.

For those of you who may not know I Suzie a recent grad, graduated with a B.S in Neuroscience.

I barely made it though lol 😅through the mental break down, tears, bags underneath my eyes, and Jesus and every diety you can think of, your girl made it 🙌🏾. Ever since I was a freshman I always dreamt that I would walk across that stage and be like “I got a job bihhhhhhhhhhh”. But no here I am four months later hating the temp job I am in now. And awaiting to pay my student loans back In two months 😒🖕🏾.

Some of you may wonder “Suzie why didn’t you just go to grad school or medical school?” And the reason why is that I don’t know what I want to do with my life. There I said it I DONT KNOWWWW!!!!!! When I first started undergrad I had a dream of becoming a oral surgeon and applying to dental school whenever the time came. Then I took my freshman level bio class and got my first test back and guuuuuurrrrrrlllllll

I was shoooketh, ok your girl got a 42 lol out of 100. Mind you I graduated high school with honors okay! So I wasn’t a super fool. I did get better though, there is hope for all you science majors. Ever since I got that test back I became indecisive with my career goals, and till this day I’m trying to figure out what my path should be in life.

I know for sure I do nooooottttt want to be in a lab all my life okay! I understand the necessity of research but I would love to apply what I learn. I like talking to people and I’m thinking something along the side of behavior but you never know where life will take me 🤷🏾‍♀️. Currently I am on all the major job websites applying to anything outside of a lab and so far it’s a dead end but I’m not going to give up, so keep me in thoughts people. (Sb:within the past year I can safely say I applied to at least 70 jobs). So here I am broke as hell with a fancy degree lol. Like I want to do so many things that I used to get with my OWN MONEY like my claws(coffin shape acrylic nails),and buying an outfit at least once a month. But now I have to be an adult, and choose wisely🙄.

ADVICE: for all those who are in college

1. It’s okay to not know what you want to do with your professional life. Don’t let these folks with a PhD fool you into thinking that you need to decide a career in elementary school. You got time.... kind of

2. Explore your interest do internships. Just because you majored in something doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be in that field.

3. DONT RUSH THE PROCESS! you are where you need to be. Everything will come in due time.

So don’t be a fool!

With love Suzie 🧡 see you next time ✌🏾

[2blckblog]

Introducing baby daddy

Last night, on Suzie must be a fool I introduced one of the many fuck boys I encounter on the daily basis, and his name is baby daddy. Why baby daddy you may ask? Because this man already speaks about having kids with me but when asked about a relationship he doesn’t know yet and we must wait and see 🙄🙄😒.

I met baby daddy my freshman year of college and he was a senior at the most Head ass school on earth, and already had a good job lined up after graduation on the other side of the country. So you tell me, was this going to work? Baby daddy isn’t the hottest thing out there on the street, but I liked his sense of humor and corniness. He’s the type of dude that likes to wine and dine women without any question but never voiced his intentions and that’s what scared me the most. I remember a convo we had and I told him that I attract fuckboys and he Vividly said to me “no lie I do have fuckboy tendencies” and in my head I was like....

What I love most about baby daddy is that he has a lot of ambition and goes hard for what he wants. He wants to be a game changer which is cool and all but baby daddy’s kryptonite is that he hears me but doesn’t listen. So after a while I began to distance myself because he had narcissistic tendencies and I was new to the fact that boys payed attention to me so I constantly had the ask for advice(which I learned later on isn’t always the best). So the ending of this phase of our “situationship” was towards the end of the year he texted me saying how much he wanted to see me and all he wanted to do was order food and talk. Cute right!! But at that time me traveling to and fro from him would’ve been like $30. And sis was struggling off those work study checks so I wasn’t willing to make that sacrifice. So guess what I told him “no”. Never got a “hello”, or a “fuck you big headed bitch”, he graduated and we both moved on until three years later we meet again.

Let’s take a break from baby daddy until next time but in the mean while QTNA: when is it time to ask for someone’s intentions?

[2blckblog]

I just think it’s funny how men say women are crazy 😂but they act like this 😭. #Story of my life

[2blckblog]

On tonight’s episode......

Of Suzie must be a fool! I Suzie(me) will be discussing relationships aka niggggggaaaaaassss. 🙄😒

Okay let’s get started so just a quick note I really didn’t get serious with dudes until I got to college because in high school I was very insecure and many dudes at that time didn’t find me attractive. So in my senior year of high school I was determined to get a mother fucking boyfriend, forget the grades and parties sis wanted a man. At that time I was infactuated with white men, and only wanted white men but at this time in my life I’ve only dated black men(we will discuss the white man issue later).

So lately I’ve realized that I attract fuckboys in different formats. They can be fine, play a sport, unattractive, big boned, and a part of the military but for some reason they all find a way to play me! Me out of all people! And I’m tired of it. Catch me tmrw and I will introduce the current fuck boy in my life “Baby daddy”(I don’t have any kids by the way)

[2blckblog]

🗣6lack-pretty little fears 🙏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

#newmusic

[2blckblog]

Why the F*** I made a Tumblr

I would like to first start off by saying hello and welcome lol. I'm going to just give a short intro about me and then explain why I made a Tumblr. Well first I would like to say I am a recent college graduate who received a bachelors degree in a hard science(yaayyyy black girl magic). I love sushi the and the arts I minored in dance during my time in undergrad. Single af lol, I can officially say I never been in a committed relationship unless you consider parents. I classify myself as extroverted, love a good party and a drink here or there lol. You can say I kind of wear my heart on my sleeve, but I also like to remain in the background and be anonymous. I am a single black female with a lot on her mind and kind of feel as if I am unable to express the way I feel due to lack of interest and I thought Tumblr would be the best platform where I can release some of those thoughts I have in my head. It ranges from me finding someone who I can be in boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, to how I feel about my current situation being stalked, finding a damn job, hair,sex, religion, to just rambling. I'm not really sure if anyone would ever see this but I at least have the satisfaction of just putting it out there. I'll try to keep these post at a minimum length but I'm overall excited!!

[2blckblog]

Always the ‘Friend’ never the girlfriend